613 The No Excuse Guide to Success with Jon Taffer

I KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO MAKE EXCUSES. You want to be better, but you also want to stay in your comfort zone, so you tell yourself a story explaining why it’s okay to stay where you are. How to reverse this habit is to start recognizing these stories as the root of all failure. When you do this, you start to notice how your excuses are holding you back. After this becomes a habit, you won't be able to ignore it, pushing you to a more honest and productive life. To help you create this habit in your life, I'm excited for you to hear from the king of no-excuses: Jon Taffer. Jon Taffer is an international celebrity, entrepreneur, and hospitality industry guru most well known for his role in the popular TV show Bar Rescue. As the creator, producer, and star of the show, Jon helps businesses reach their full potential by assessing all aspects of their operation. Jon’s approach to business is something we can all learn from. Growing up in a broken family, Jon used this struggle as the burning fire to launch his passion projects into a career. His latest book Don't Bullsh*t Yourself!: Crush the Excuses That Are Holding You Back shows the level of honesty you must have with yourself to get to the next level. If you’re looking to turn your excuses into solutions or just flat-out stop fooling yourself, tune into Episode 613 to remove excuses from your daily life. Some Questions I Ask: What did drumming teach you about business? (7:17) What is the biggest challenge people face starting a business? (12:18) Did you always have this mindset or did you have excuses and fears in your 20s? (19:27) What’s the greatest lesson your mom taught you? (20:20) What do you look for when you hire? (22:35) How do you manage all the different personalities in different industries? (29:25) What was the biggest lesson your father or his absence taught you? (31:20) What’s the thing that holds you back from that next level? (35:00) What’s the vision moving forward? (44:01) What are your three truths? (50:20) In This Episode You Will Learn: How Jon Taffer sees business as reaction management (8:47) What Jon Taffer believes are the difficulties of the restaurant business (11:02) What Jon Taffer sees as the root of our excuses (16:55) The challenging story of Jon Taffer’s early childhood years (19:30) Jon Taffer’s views on teaching vs. training (24:00) The story of Jon Taffer going from musician to businessman (32:30) How Jon Taffer balances his professional and personal life (39:02) The biggest lessons Jon Taffer has learned working in television (44:50) How Jon Taffer learned communication through childhood abuse (52:05) Plus much, much more Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 613 with John Taffer.

• 0:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  John Wooden said it best, "Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them." Excuses, my friends, excuses hold so many of us back. We make these excuses of why we aren't achieving what we want, why we're stuck in that relationship we don't want to be in, why we're not healthy in the way we want to be healthy, why we haven't started on our dream, whatever it may be, we've got some excuse that holds us back. But these are all BS reasons for why you don't want to move forward. And I'm very excited about this interview because it's going to help you unlock why these excuses hold you back

• 1:13Lewis Howes?

  and the keys to being successful. We've got John Taffer in the house. He's an international celebrity entrepreneur, highly sought after hospitality industry guru, and creator, executive producer, and star of Paramount Network's number one show, Bar Rescue. Now, most people know him as a larger-than-life television personality who takes a no-holds-barred approach to helping businesses reach their full potential. And his newest book, Don't Bullshit Yourself, he teaches you how to stop fooling yourself and turn those excuses into solutions to improve your life and business. He has got some powerful nuggets throughout this entire interview, so make sure to take a screenshot of this right now.

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  And the link is lewishouse.com/613 and share it with your friends, tag me on Instagram as well, and let me know you're listening so we can connect there. Some of the things we talk about are why it's so important to manage. The reactions of the people around you and how really everything is about managing reactions around you and he'll talk about that. We talk about what the common denominator is of failure and why most people fail. Also, why the pace of gratification is a problem today. Talk about what John looks for when he's hiring people in his business and he breaks down the keys to finding the key players in any business and how he approaches this. This was a powerful

• 2:40Lewis Howes?

  part. And he also covers the positive side of manipulation in business and it's not what you think. Very excited about this episode. I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised of all the things you hear. And again, shoot me a tweet at Lewis Howes or tag me on Instagram at Lewis Howes and let me know what you think so we can connect over there.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got the legendary John Tapper in the house. Good to see you, sir.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Good to see you, Lewis.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  Excited about this?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Me too. I've been looking forward to talking to you because I know that there's going to be some depth to what we talk about.

• 3:21Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  And you're so inspirational to jump on your inspirational wagon. It's a lot of fun for me.

• 3:27Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I'm excited to be here.

• 3:28Lewis Howes?

  I love it. And you used to work right down at the Troubadour, is that right?

• 3:30Speaker 01

  I did, two blocks away. Matter of fact, that was my first management job at the Troubadour. I was a doorman there when I first started. And one day, the owner of it threw the keyring at me. I was a musician. I came here as a drummer, moved to Los Angeles. He threw the keys at me and said, ah, you run it. And that's how I got in this business. But the memories that I have two blocks away, I mean, I learned my chops there. First time I ever said no to an employee. First time I ever had to manage anything, you know, was responsible for anything.

• 3:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow. How old were you?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  I was about 20.

• 4:01Lewis Howes?

  20. As a drummer, coming out to live the dream?

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 4:03Lewis Howes?

  And working there like at nights just to like make money and?

• 4:06Speaker 01

  I worked there and I played there.

• 4:08Lewis Howes?

  You did both?

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Both, yeah.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:10Lewis Howes?

  What did drumming teach you about business?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  You know, it's interesting. That's a really powerful question. I'm in a restaurant, bar, nightclub and nightlife business. And many years ago, when I was a musician, I learned how you could take five songs, put them in a different order, create a completely different experience. You could take a song on an old style turntable, increase the speed by four percent, and I could get you to chew faster, walk faster, drink faster. So I learned the science of manipulating music at a very young age. When I was in my twenties, I got the only patent ever issued by the federal government for the achieving of a desired ambiance through music. I'm a nutcase about it.

• 4:50Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:51Speaker 01

  So I put about eighty thousand songs into a database and created curves and energy levels and beats per minute ranges. And then when I did restaurants years later, I could increase table turn by increasing beats per minute.

• 5:03Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  So I'm very into the science of music. And I think a lot of my success in restaurants has been environmental. And I'm very sensitive to environments and pace and energy and what you feel in your gut when you're there. And a lot of that comes from my days at the Troubadour.

• 5:19Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  When, you know, you'd see the difference from one band to another. And the power of music is emotional. So when I, today, now many years later, I don't play music, I play reactions. I achieve it through music. I don't serve food, I achieve reactions. I achieve the reactions through food. And all that lesson came out of the Troubadour.

• 5:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What do you mean by reactions?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  So I believe, and I trademarked the term reaction management. And reaction management is the premise that if you can manage the reactions of the people around you, you can better manage your life. So if I can manage the reactions of my boss, I'm more likely to get a promotion.

• 5:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  If I can manage the reactions of my customers, I'm more likely to get a second visit. If I can manage the reactions of our audience, I can have a bigger audience. So we're not in the podcast business. We're in a reaction business. We achieve it through podcasts.

• 6:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  And we're not in the music business, we're in a reaction business. And he or she who creates the greatest reactions in life wins.

• 6:21Lewis Howes?

  That's it. It's all about the experience.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  It is.

• 6:24Lewis Howes?

  I have this event in Columbus called the Summon of Greatness. And when I put it on the first time a couple of years ago, I said, I've got to create an experience, not an event, that makes people talk about it all year, that brings their friends along so that it sells itself.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Yep, so the business wasn't the event. The business was the reaction.

• 6:40Lewis Howes?

  That's it, yeah.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  The event is the vehicle.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  But a lot of people don't get that. A lot of people think they're in a restaurant business, not the reaction business, or the entertainment business, not the reaction business.

• 6:48Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  We got to take it that step further.

• 6:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  It's how it's received more than how it's done.

• 6:53Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right. You wrote this book, just came out, called Don't Bullshit Yourself: Crush the Excuses That Are Holding You Back. But you've been working in bar and restaurant management for many years, right?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  I have, but more than that. I've taken companies public, I've taken them private. I ran one of the largest trade shows in the world, in Las Vegas. I founded it, ran it for many years. Obviously, I have a media company. I've been in the publishing business. I have an onsite video training program where I train people. So I'm in a lot of businesses, but every one of them is very much people-based. You know, inspiring, growth-oriented. I love to impact people. You know, that's what's really powerful to me. I guess that's why I wound up in the nightclub business. Because when you do it right, people react, they smile, they move, they dance, they eat, they have fun, and you see that. And it comes back at you. So you're re-energized. The stronger their reaction, the stronger you want to make them react. And that's exciting to me.

• 7:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's the negative side about working in bars and restaurants?

• 7:50Speaker 01

  I'm working at four or five in the morning, so it sucks. You know, that's one thing, dealing with alcohol, over-intoxicated guests is difficult. But what's tough about the nightclub business, and the restaurant business too, is that the two largest cost centers are product and labor, which you have to manage. You know, rent is what it is, insurance is what it is, utility, you can't change those things. But those two elements, labor and product costs, are about 60% of revenue.

• 8:14Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 8:15Speaker 01

  So that's the challenge. If you don't manage those effectively, you don't make money. And people think bars are inherently profitable, and Louis, they're not. I mean, the average bar, if you do it right, will make 12 to 18% of revenue.

• 8:26Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  So if one cost is over by five points, another cost is over by five points, you know, that gets eaten up pretty quickly.

• 8:32Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  So people think, "Oh, you open it up, costs 50 cents to make a drink, you sell it for six bucks, how can you lose money?" Well, first time out, about 1 out of 12 make it. So a lot of people are losing money.

• 8:42Lewis Howes?

  Right. Yeah, and you've helped over 1,000 bars, is that right?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Oh, I have 1,000 bars. But I've also been on the advisory board of the NFL. I created Sunday Ticket, which I'm very proud of and worked on that project.

• 8:51Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty cool.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  So I've done a bunch of things, and if there's anything I've learned, it's that the more diversified we become, the more exciting life is. The more different things we do, the more exciting life is. I'm envious of you. You get to talk to different kinds of people all the time. If you talk to the same person every day, it wouldn't be the same.

• 9:07Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  So it's those differences in life that changes, those shifts in environment that are the most exciting.

• 9:14Lewis Howes?

  What is the biggest challenge that people face when starting a business? Whether it's a bar, a restaurant, just a business in general, because you've built many businesses. But what's the common theme you see as a big challenge?

• 9:24Speaker 01

  If I could change that slightly, and not necessarily the biggest challenge, but what I see is the biggest pitfall. I've done 160 bar rescues now, 160. I've seen failures that are unbelievable. And you know, people like yourself and your listeners, we always learn about the blocks of success, the steps of success, the principles of success, you know, the actions of success, the words of success. After 160 bar rescues, Lewis, I know more about failure than anyone. And there's as much to learn from failure as there is from success. So looking at all of these different people, and the husbands and wives, and the brothers, and the partners, and the single proprietors, all of them are so different,

• 10:08Speaker 01

  but there's one common denominator in their failure. And after 160 of them, I truly believe that I found a common denominator of failure.

• 10:17Lewis Howes?

  What's that?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  It's so simple, excuses. And let me share what I mean. Let's say you were failing at something. And that's not very likely, but let's say you were. If you wake up tomorrow morning and blame the government, the environment, the weather, you know, Joe Blow, if you blame anything or anyone else, you have no reason to change. But if you blame yourself, you're not gonna like it.

• 10:37Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  So what happens that morning in the mirror? Do you look at the mirror and do you blame something else? Or do you blame yourself? And if you blame yourself, that's not cool, you change. So when I take a look at it and I say, well, if the common denominator of failure is an excuse, then an excuse becomes paralyzing. It's always a reason not to do what you should, or to do what you shouldn't, or to make a bad choice. So then I take it a step further and I say to myself, what's the definition of an excuse? So the definition of an excuse is the rationalization of a mistake.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  If you didn't make a mistake, you'd never mention the excuse. Right. There's no purpose for the excuse without a mistake. So if I can get people to stop creating excuses, they have to take action. And be accountable and be responsible. Bingo. So the determination that I made after this long process, and it all started for me on a one day in Youngstown, Ohio, which I'll tell you about in a moment, was if I can get people to truly identify an excuse as poison, and if I can teach them to catch those excuses and stop themselves, I've taken away the paralysis that freezes them. And this all started for me about a year and a half ago. I was doing bar rescue, and you'll find the story powerful. I'm in Youngstown, Ohio, your home state.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  And I'm driving through the community with the mayor because I'm doing some bar rescues and they're very excited that we're there and we're spending money in the community with them for three weeks. Downtown was empty. Every store was empty. Wow. Twenty-one, twenty-two thousand empty residences. And as I'm driving through Main Street, I looked at a couple of storefronts and something powerful happened to me. Suddenly, I realized that store that's empty was owned by a family. That was a dream. That was life savings. That was a business I was planning on passing to my children. This is powerful. And then I went and I did more homework. And I found out that 600,000 small businesses start in America every year, but 720,000 are closing. Really? And then I found that in the year 2000,

• 12:45Speaker 01

  62% of small business was family-owned. Now it's 40%. So I said to myself, "Hold on a minute. We're losing small business. We're losing family small business." Yeah. And to me, business is the pure sense of growth. When an individual starts a business and starts to create something, that's the essence of growth. Without new products and new ideas and new companies, as a society, we get stagnant. So when I saw that empty store, I truly said to myself, I want to do something about this. So I got to inspire people, I've got to teach them how to be successful. I've got to convince them that their fears shouldn't hold them back. That, you know, using the excuse of scarcity, or consequence, or ego, or any of these things,

• 13:29Speaker 01

  holds us back from our future. So trying to light up those stores, I then said, okay, I want to write something. I want to do something that will inspire people to move forward and not be frozen anymore. And that's how the book actually came to be. And it was a, really a very noble mission for me. How do I write something that inspires somebody? So then I said, okay, if excuses are the center point of failure and self-accountability, so if I can make people own their failure, I can make them own their success. But without that ownership of failure, I got a real issue, or a real challenge, getting them to own success. So then I went further and I analyzed all 160 bar rescues and the different kind of personalities and stuff that I was with.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  And I realized that there were really six key excuses that are in the book that we focus on. The first one, and very relatable, fear. I'm scared of failure, or I'm scared to do it in the first place, or I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm fearful. But if we stop and think about it, somebody else has been in the same position as you, if not thousands of people, and they got past the fear. So the fear is really BS. If you really sit and think about it, it's a BS excuse that paralyzes you. Then I look at the next excuse, knowledge. Oh, I don't know enough to do this, I don't know enough to do this. Or, my ego is so great that I know too much to do this, right? It's beneath me to do it. So now I say, okay, I don't have the knowledge to do it. Tell that to Stephen Jobs. Tell that to Henry Ford.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  So, knowledge is not an obstacle of growth. Growth is knowledge. So, if you don't try it, you never learn it. If I try it, son of a gun, I learn it. So, then, I love the excuse of circumstance. Well, the economy is bad. Somebody made money in a bad economy. It rains. You know, years ago, I opened a restaurant in Seattle, Washington. Everybody says to me, John, it rains every day here. So, I put these metal poles in the deck where you could put golf umbrellas in. So, I could walk around, put the umbrella down, we could talk. And it was a really cool thing. So, we take the rain from liability to a NASA. Consequence is a big one. Ego is a big one. You know this. This isn't your child, it's a podcast. If it's great, so be it. If it isn't, you're not gonna blow your brains out. It's not your child. Let's just keep this in perspective. This is a business.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  If the wall stinks, get rid of it. If the color is wrong, change it. If the content is wrong, fix it. So, circumstance is a big one. Then, we take a look at the premise of time. I love this one. You know, Louis, I would've done it, I had the time, buddy. But I sat on social media for three hours this morning. Done what I had the time to do. Hour and a half breakfast, extra cup of coffee, maybe look at the sunset, beautiful view outside. You know, when I wake up in the morning, that's my time. I do what I want with it. All of these excuses are complete.

• 16:12Lewis Howes?

  BS.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  BS. So, if I can get people to understand that, I can move them forward. And that's my passion.

• 16:18Lewis Howes?

  I love it, man. Did you always have this mindset? Or do you have excuses and fears in your twenties while you got into this?

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I was not the best student in school. I struggled through that and matured well. But I struggled when I was young. My dad died when I was two. So, you know, I had some family issues when I was younger, growing up. And I could've used those as excuses, but for some reason, I used them as inspiration. You know, I grew up with a very tough mom, a little violent.

• 16:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I heard you didn't talk to her for years, is that right?

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I had an issue, we didn't talk for five years. And I regret that. But the important thing is that her violence or her aggressiveness could've weakened me. But I chose to let it strengthen me. You know, and then there's the difference of a mistake versus a choice. You know, you trip and fall, that's a mistake. You write the wrong word on a piece of paper, that's a choice. There's a difference. How do we reel in our choices, minimize our mistakes, and stop being paralyzed? And I think that my book, hopefully, moves a bunch of people to that direction.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. What was the greatest lesson your mom taught you, growing up?

• 17:20Speaker 01

  You know, the greatest lesson my mother taught me is really a cold lesson. You know, she taught me that people are unpredictable.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Dollars are predictable. She taught me that there's no charity without money. She taught me that there's no ego without money. She taught me that you can never achieve purpose without money. So the fact of the matter is, I understood that if I wanna do something that's good for people, I need the resources to do it.

• 17:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  If I wanna do something that's good for myself, I need the resources to do it. She made me a capitalist.

• 17:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  She made me understand that, and then when I do bar rescues. You know, I always find it fascinating when you meet the guy who's got the biggest ego in the world and you ask him to show you, "Show me a wallet." It's the finest wallet you ever saw in your life. I mean, there's no money in there, there's no credit cards in there, but his ego is huge. And I don't understand how somebody has a large ego with a small wallet. That doesn't make sense to me.

• 18:12Lewis Howes?

  We call those thirty thousand dollar millionaires on Instagram.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 18:15Lewis Howes?

  All these like young kids that are in front of Lamborghinis and big mansions, but they have no money.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Have no money. And they have ego. Which is, you know, the interesting revelation about today's generation. And I was talking earlier today about what I think is the big difference between millennials and older generations is what I call pace of gratification. And I think you'll find this interesting. You know, today, young people post something on social media, they get a like right away. Comment right away. I posted, "Oh, man, you look great. Ah, you know, great shirt, great this." Ugliest girl in the world, poster picture, "You look beautiful today." So today millennials get this instant gratification. But yet, guys like you and I had to work hard for our gratification. It took us years. They're not used to that. They're used to short-term gratification.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  The last generation is used to longer periods of gratification. So what I see happens with younger people today is if you don't give them that gratification along the way, they lose their steam. Because they really need that pat in the back, that like, that comment. So it's a change in the way we manage and the way we hire and go at people. And it's a powerful dynamic that is not the best for business, candidly.

• 19:28Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Because the fact of the matter is, great success comes after a longer period. Of work and gratification doesn't come every day.

• 19:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, through the years.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 19:38Lewis Howes?

  That's why you gotta appreciate the small wins. It might be something, not this thousands of likes, but like someone gave you a nice compliment or really enjoyed your food or whatever it is that you're doing. It's like the small day-to-day things that you can build over time.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that's the way to manage employees today.

• 19:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Is you know, you have to understand that there's professional correction, but then there's personal recognition. So, you know, I wanna look and say, "Great job today, buddy. Really, really great work. But I need you to do something for me." Or, "You know, who is I'm really proud to have you on board. You know, you're a great asset to the company. Your pride, your performance is terrific. But I need you to do something for me. Need you to fix something for me." So, you know, today, we have to be very cautious in the way we manage the person versus the way we manage the process. And there's a great sensitivity today. If you're not good at managing both, it's very difficult to be successful.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, what do you look for when you're hiring them for any type of business you're in?

• 20:30Speaker 01

  That's a great question. I love answering this question. I do a lot of commencement speeches at universities. And when I used to started doing those, all the professors sat in the front row. And I was at UNLV last week, which is the number one hospitality school in the country, giving a speech. After three or four years, they're in a back row, then they're not in a room, and here's why. If you look at a college textbook or any corporate manual in America, they will say the word "training." But what's the difference between teaching and training? Huge. Training is behavior modification. You ever meet somebody who never looks in your eyes? You know, they stare at your forehead? Can't change that. How about the guy who walks around like this, you know? "How are you, Joe? Fair to middle in tomorrow. How are you, Joe? Hanging in there. Next day, how are you, Joe? Two hours to go."

• 21:14Speaker 01

  I mean, 365 days a year, this guy is never great. Can't change that. What about people have no sense of humor? No compassion? You know, no sensitivity? You know, don't care about? You can't change that. So when we in business say that we train people, it is complete bullshit. All we do is teach people to work in our business. Training is behavior modification. That's why we have prisons. Or I say, "Don't do that. Let's send you back out in the street again."

• 21:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  So, training is a behavior modification process, takes years. No business trains anyone. So, the mistake that businesses make is they hire on a resume. And that's a mistake, unless you're an attorney or something that is in essence so detailed or educational based. You give me somebody who has a lousy resume and the greatest personality for a particular job description in three weeks, and I'll show you a superstar.

• 22:07Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  You give me some certain things. Of course, because their traits are right, their personality is right, their attitude is right, their connectivity is right. I can teach them.

• 22:16Lewis Howes?

  Passion.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Yes. I can teach them what they need to know, but I can't train them, anything.

• 22:21Lewis Howes?

  So, would you rather have someone with the personality and the characteristics and the attitude who knows nothing about a certain skill, over the person who knows everything about the skill, mastered it, but hasn't mastered the behavior that you want?

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Oh, you got.

• 22:35Lewis Howes?

  Who would you rather have?

• 22:35Speaker 01

  I got the former every time. I'm gonna go for personality every time. Personalities drive business. Process is easy. Especially today with computerization and automation and such. So, what are the personalities that'll connect me with my business? And I do a lot of educational programs, and I'll be in a room with a thousand people. And I did one for a big chain restaurant just a couple of weeks ago, and I looked around the room. Actually, it was the National Restaurant Association, the largest trade association in America. Just last week, I gave a speech for them in New England. And I said, "How many of you in this four, five hundred operators in the room, how many of you have employees working for you that you shouldn't have working for you?" And almost every hand in the room went out.

• 23:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  So, I just don't understand it. If I think my employee's not gonna succeed, and if you're really important to me as a customer, how dare I put somebody in front of you that I don't believe in? I mean, how dare I do such a thing? So then I say, "Okay, so you have employees that you don't like working for you, they don't have the right traits to be successful." So, I don't understand this. If it was the Super Bowl, would you field the worst team or the best?

• 23:39Lewis Howes?

  The best.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  The best, of course. So, how do you walk out on the field knowing that your team isn't the strongest? And that then raises the next issue of hiring, which is standards. And in my whole life, as a business communicator, and I've been one who's done educational programs and leadership programs my whole life, all around the world. You know, you take a look at the premise of leadership and then standards. So what is a standard? So a standard is a measurement of performance that is qualifiable. This is what I want you to do. Quantifiable. This is when you're gonna do it. And verifiable. I'm gonna make sure you do. And if it doesn't have all three, it's not a standard.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  So what happens is we hire people with the wrong personality traits. Then we don't protect the standards, and it unravels. We must have the right personality traits. And then the number one role of any manager, any owner, no different than what you're doing, is you must protect standards. Fight for them. Do everything we can to enhance those standards. If McDonald's puts too much ketchup on those burgers, everything changes.

• 24:47Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  If there's too much onion in one and not enough onion in the other, everything changes. We are in a world of standards. And standards of performance are critical. If I have the right personalities and I protect my standards, I'm not gonna lose.

• 25:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How many businesses do you run right now, or that you're a part of?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Well, I have five television shows in various stages of development or on the air. I have, right now, my, I have another company off television, which is my B2B company, Taffer Dynamics. Taffer Dynamics has been in business for over thirty years. Our clients are people like Ann Hauser-Bush. We're building a huge resort in Pigeon Forge now, an entire mountain with attractions and hotel rooms and hospitality business. Ann Hauser-Bush is a huge client for us, as I mentioned. Huge banks are clients for us for credit card processing and increasing, you know, sales potential. Right now, I'm reinventing the customer experience for the largest hardware store in the world, or chain in the world, twenty-two hundred units.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's cool.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  So, you know, we are very focused on customer experience modification, and we cross many business models. So we go through banking, we go through hardware, we go through hospitality, television, media.

• 25:56Lewis Howes?

  And bars and restaurants are your, you own?

• 25:58Speaker 01

  No, I sold them all. I had seventeen, sold them all.

• 26:01Lewis Howes?

  Got it, yeah. And all the pieces of the ones you're working on now.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  No, no, no, we don't do that. We keep it completely autonomous.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  You know, so as a bar rescue host, it's their business. I'll make suggestions. But it's their business, so they have to choose.

• 26:12Lewis Howes?

  Sure. They have to own it.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 26:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  But you know, so I guess all in all, I'm running about twelve, fourteen businesses.

• 26:18Lewis Howes?

  How do you manage all the different personalities and all the different industries and businesses that you have?

• 26:24Speaker 01

  It's difficult. It's difficult.

• 26:26Lewis Howes?

  While you're twelve hours on air and preparing for a show and speaking and doing all those things.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be cold for a moment. To me, the definition of management is the achieving of objectives through the manipulation of others. That, to me, is the definition of management. I'm very good at manipulating others.

• 26:44Lewis Howes?

  In a positive way.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely. If I give you a raise, that's great. And I'm patting the back, that's great. So I mean, I don't mean it in a negative sense. Manipulation can be very positive. You'll thank me for it if I do it well.

• 26:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  That's a very powerful element. And then you gotta surround yourself with winners. I mean, there's no question about it. My grandfather once said, my grandfather invented direct mail, was a very wealthy man, he died. And he once said to me, he goes, you know, the only guarantee of success in life is you really gotta be the smartest guy in the room. And there's another side to that. If I'm the smartest guy in the room, I'm not gonna learn much. So I wanna be the smartest guy in a room about what's really important to me and then have the people around me that are smarter than me and the other things. But that's a really powerful element. The other thing that he taught me that stuck with me my whole life is you don't have to have a big checkbook if you have a big idea book. But you need one or the other.

• 27:29Lewis Howes?

  Right, yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  You need that big idea, you need that big check to get that big idea.

• 27:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  You know, those are powerful elements for me. And I think that when one is inspirational, when one leaves a positive influence on the people around them, they rally. When my new book came out, as we speak, next week, the network's running free spots for me.

• 27:49Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  I got free commercials running for me. I just did the Dr. Phil Show, who's a dear friend of mine, promoting my book. And you know this, because when your book came out, your friends supported you too.

• 27:58Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  When we support them, they support us. And there's an integrity to life that causes people to wanna come through for you.

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  And I think that's the best way to manage people, candidly, is by example.

• 28:08Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:10Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the best lesson your father taught you, even though he was gone when you were two? What did you learn about his absence or the lesson that he left behind in some other way?

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Mickey Mantle, the baseball player, said a quote, words that was really powerful to me. His father died of Hodgkin's, his uncle died of Hodgkin's, his brother died of Hodgkin's. And he always said, you know, had I known I was gonna live so long, I would've taken better care of myself. And it's a very powerful line because he thought his life was so limited that he didn't have to worry about the later years of his life. You know, when your father passes away at two years old, and it throws your family in a disarray. And then my grandfather died, who I was living with when I was seven. And then, you know, you deal with this death as a child, you start to think to yourself, there's a clock ticking. Tomorrow is important. I don't wanna waste it. So what it did is it had a profound impact upon my desire to hurry up. And to realize that life does have an

• 29:05Lewis Howes?

  Urgency.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Yes, and finding what makes us feel good in life is something that should have urgency. Right? Happiness should have urgency. Success should have urgency, because the quicker we get there, the happier we are.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  That urgency helped me a great deal, and I think it's a positive message for people.

• 29:23Lewis Howes?

  Did you always think you'd be a businessperson, or did you think you'd be this rock star drummer?

• 29:28Speaker 01

  I took nine years of drum lessons when I was a kid. When I was a jazz drummer, I was really good.

• 29:31Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:32Speaker 01

  And took it very, very seriously. Still have a drum set in my office as we speak. My Marshall mini stack, my guitars on it. So music is a large part of me there. Today, I play more steering wheels than I do anything else, but music was a large part of my identity growing up, because I wasn't a great student, but I was a great musician. So I could be with bands, absolutely. And it was something that was very, very meaningful to me. And when I left music, what happened to me was in the middle of my senior year in high school, I got an offer to play in a band, professional. And I actually said that with my parents. And shocking to me, affluent East Coast parents, I said, listen, I wanna drop out of high school in the middle of my senior year and go on tour with this band.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  And it wasn't the most pleasant conversation that I've had with my mother, but they actually agreed to it. And I left and I went on tour with the band.

• 30:21Lewis Howes?

  This is back in what year?

• 30:22Speaker 01

  This would've been 1972.

• 30:24Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  And I made a whole bunch of money. It was a band whose drummer had gone into a drug rehab program, so I found myself now. So now I'm seventeen years old, I'm touring with a band for a rock star.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  And I realized, didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I wasn't necessarily into the whole rock star thing. I found the hollowness in it, to be honest with you. And it was doing that, that showed me how much I liked the business end. More than the music end. So then I evolved into trying to manage bands and trying to do that. And then Doug Weston one day threw the key ring at me and that was that. But I have a love of music. But I get a greater sense of accomplishment out of business.

• 31:09Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting. Why jazz drums?

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Because it's the toughest to play. You know, if you're gonna do it, you know, the toughest root is always the best.

• 31:17Lewis Howes?

  That's it. It's funny, my brother's the number one jazz violinist in the world. He played with Les Paul for 10 years. He did it in New York City and he's traveled all over the world. I grew up watching jazz through him and so I have appreciation for it. I can't play it, but I have appreciation for it.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  And one thing about jazz, you gotta have your chops.

• 31:33Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  So you can't fake it in jazz. So that's why it was really important to me. And a jazz drummer can play anything else. So if you can play jazz, you can play anything.

• 31:39Lewis Howes?

  You play basic rock beats or whatever, yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Sure. Every drummer can do it with one hand, but a rock drummer can't do it too.

• 31:45Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. What do you think is the biggest challenge? Or struggle that you're facing today? You've had so much success and you've learned so many things and what's the thing that holds you back from the next level?

• 31:58Speaker 01

  You know, that's a great question. And of all the people I talked to, nobody's asked me that question before. Everybody talks about where you are, nobody talks about where you're going. I wake up every day and I think to myself, I got these 12 balls on my desk. And each one is a project or something that's important to me. And I have to move those balls every day. If I don't move every ball, I can't sleep at night, I'm a nutcase. So I don't live my life by completing things necessarily, because things take time to complete. I have to move every ball every day or I freak out. It's something that if I don't make progress every day, I can't live with myself. So I truly move every ball every day. So if I was to find what I did for a living more than anything, I'm a pushman.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  I push people to do things faster. I push them to do things better and I push myself harder than anyone.

• 32:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Do you feel like you push too much and that's something you want to ease off on or?

• 32:57Speaker 01

  I think if I asked my assistant who's sitting on the other side of the room, she would say I push too much. I take on a lot, but I have a high view of myself, candidate. You know, I believe I can handle it. And self-confidence is very, very important. If you don't believe you can handle it, go handle it. And then you'll believe you can handle it next time.

• 33:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, when is there too many balls?

• 33:14Speaker 01

  When you can't move them anymore. The minute I can't move all of them, I have too many. So then you either have to remove some from your desk, put them aside, or you have to start to prioritize. But if you can't move every ball every day, then you have too many balls. And that's just the way I look at it in a simplistic sense. The some balls are more important than others, right? Bigger than others. In theory, you move those first. And of course, we have priorities. But if you're gonna start 11 things, then you move 11 things every day. Or only start 10, only start 9. And that's really important, because without that progress, there's no growth. Without the growth, there's no result.

• 33:45Lewis Howes?

  Right. There's another book called The One Thing. I don't know if you've heard about this. It's called The One Thing, and it's all about focusing on the one thing you're really good at and becoming great at that one thing. In theory, that sounds incredible to me, to like have all these other distractions away and just focus on one thing. But as a guy, I would just get too bored doing one thing every day. But it's like, how can you manage building up a team and the resources so that they all move forward in a powerful way? They're not average. Because I think once it starts to be average or less than the best it could be, then I'm not gonna feel good either.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 34:20Lewis Howes?

  Putting out something that's not the top of the line.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Well, that's a personal pride.

• 34:23Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  You know, people who exercise a practice every day without pride, I feel bad for those people. Because what's our purpose? At the end of the day, if we don't feel good about what we've accomplished, what's the whole purpose? So you know what? When I take a look at what you've accomplished, you have a broad group of businesses and activities that you're involved in, so do I. But you know what's interesting? I think I'm only in one business. People. People in communications.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  And so are you.

• 34:49Lewis Howes?

  Persuasion, influence.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Now, I'm influencing a lot of different businesses and a lot of different things, but it really is one business. Inspire, influence, and communicate.

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. Wow. What's the one thing you can get better at, you think? To improve your level of doing that even better.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  That's a great question. You know, I think there's a number of things I could be better at. I think that I could be better personally. What I mean by that is I am professionally incredibly disciplined. I mean, I work, I am working day and night. My professional discipline sort of makes me personally undisciplined in a way.

• 35:24Lewis Howes?

  Because then you kind of relax and let loose personally.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Yes, when I'm down, I don't hit the gym as often as I could. My diet isn't as strong as I could. I mean, if there's an area where I could improve is I'm so focused on my professional life that I leave my personal life behind.

• 35:38Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think you do that?

• 35:40Speaker 01

  I guess I get more gratification out of the business work than I do the personal work. I'm guessing. But that's a great question, and you're gonna leave me something to think about tonight.

• 35:48Lewis Howes?

  How do you think your professional work would improve if you took the same pride in your personal life as in the professional? Or would it not improve?

• 36:00Speaker 01

  I think it would have to improve.

• 36:02Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Well, stamina, conceivably. I mean, maybe I get an extra hour a day out of it, who knows? Energy is always great when it's higher. You know, when I shoot 50 episodes a year, I burn out on energy.

• 36:13Lewis Howes?

  How do you do that, yeah?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really difficult. So, obviously more energy would be helpful, so there's every logic to do it. But it's interesting that as-

• 36:20Lewis Howes?

  What holds you back, yeah?

• 36:21Speaker 01

  As one who is such an example in business, I'm not always the best personal example. And it shows that, you know, there are facets of our lives that we're all really good at and some that, you know, we can all improve at.

• 36:33Lewis Howes?

  Is this something you want to improve at?

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Oh, you sort of got me going here. I got a feeling I might get a phone call from you in a couple of weeks. "What's going on, John? How's that personal stuff going?"

• 36:42Lewis Howes?

  Let's go, baby.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  I'm with you. No excuses.

• 36:45Lewis Howes?

  That's it. You might have a desire, but is your desire falling up with your actions?

• 36:50Speaker 01

  That's right, that's right. I don't think it is.

• 36:53Lewis Howes?

  But maybe you don't want it bad enough, and that's okay too. I don't think you need to, I just think-

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Well, in life, we chase what we want, but sometimes we need to chase what we need too.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  That is true. The more I'm connecting with you, I realize how powerful of an influence and persuasion you can be for good. And I believe that when you- Own up to or whatever it is that you don't feel like you're doing as good at personally. When you take complete control of that and ownership and responsibility, you're gonna make it 10 times the impact you're making. Cause people say, wow, this guy's the complete example and complete package. I'm not saying it's easy. There's a lot of things I can do personally too to be better at, but I'm just saying as someone looking from the outside in, if you're making that big of an impact already.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Imagine where we could go.

• 37:36Lewis Howes?

  Imagine the way to change the world that you could do. Imagine that every time you speak on TV, the influence you have. It doesn't take longer, it takes, it's instant. And that's what I see as possible.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:48Lewis Howes?

  Something to think about.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Oh, no, something hard about. No, it's something hard to think about. But you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, we inspire people in many, many different ways. And I'm still surprised by the whole thing to tell you the truth. You know, I went into television very late.

• 38:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. How old were you when you started?

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I've only been on television six years. I've never been in that business. I never thought I'd be in the television business. If you told me 10 years ago I was gonna be a television star, I would've never believed you. I gave a speech at a convention in Las Vegas. And after the speech, somebody came up to me and said, you should be on TV. I wrote up a little thing, which was originally called On The Rocks. And it was sort of a cross between Kitchen Nightmares and Mission Impossible. So I had a file and I opened up the file and I pulled out my experts, right? Like the old Mission Impossible show. And then I would went and I would rescue people's bars and restaurants. And I put it together and I brought it to a friend of mine who had been the president of Paramount Television. And had just left and now at a production company. And years earlier, I had done some licensing with Paramount, so I knew them.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  So I bring them my ideas, sit down in my office, I say, uh, what do you think? He looks at me, can I say the F word? John, you will never fucking be on television. You're not good looking enough, you're too old, it'll never happen. I was devastated. So I walked out of his office. I'm getting to know you pretty good in the time when you gather. When somebody says no to you, what happens?

• 39:08Lewis Howes?

  I do, I'm like, I'm gonna show you.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Exactly right. So I walked out of that office with a vendetta, Louis. So I shot my own scissor reel, I put the thing together myself. I sent it to five production companies, I got four offers. And I got them in days. One of them called me from France or at the television convention in France and says, don't do anything, we'll be back in two days, don't do anything. So I wait and now I get four offers. So I don't know the entertainment business. I don't know which offer is better and everything. So I get a manager. I find out that you gotta get an agent, but you can't have an agent till you have a television show, but you can't have a television show till you have an agent. I'm still trying to figure that one out. But, but, so, I pitch it, I get these deals, I sign with the production company. They bring it to then Spike, which was a network. They pick it up in four days.

• 39:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  So, literally, three weeks after that guy said to me, "You will never fucking be on television."

• 39:59Lewis Howes?

  You got a show.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  I got a show. So now the pilot gets picked up. In less than a year from when that person said, "I'll never be on television," the series premiered. And I did something I'd never done before in life. I got one of those, those caskets with black roses in it. You ever see those? So, it's a casket-shaped flower box with black roses in it. And I sent it to my buddy, who told me, "I'll never be, I'll never be on TV." And we've been friends, of course, ever since. But now, a hundred and sixty episodes later, number one show on a network, seventy-seven million people watched the show last season.

• 40:30Lewis Howes?

  Amazing.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Now, we're now in over four thousand channels, five continents, and three languages. It goes to show, when you think to yourself, "I can't do this," that's when you should. And you know, sometimes, the fact that you've never done it before means you're gonna do it different.

• 40:46Lewis Howes?

  Different perspective.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  You bet. And you might wind up with the best formula of all, because you've never done it before.

• 40:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  And that's how I look at things.

• 40:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What's the vision moving forward? You've done it for six seasons, you've got, you know, more coming. Do you wanna continue to do TV? Or what's the vision for?

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Well, you know, I'm, I'm doing a number, a couple of TV shows. I'm, I'm very proud to have linked up with Dr. Phil. You know, Dr. Phil, we can take it to the next level, really helping and inspiring people and, and, uh... So for me, something interesting happened to me last year. I canceled my agreement with that very production company that I signed, and I went to a contract directly with the network.

• 41:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  So now I'm contracted by the network.

• 41:26Lewis Howes?

  And you own the production company.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  And, and the production company now works for me.

• 41:29Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  So I'm in complete control of the show. So we've mixed up format. I'm really playing around with it, I'm really having some fun with it. Honestly, it's the most inspiring season I've ever had. It's really, we've really changed some lives this year.

• 41:40Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  And again, it's because I'm going at it in a different way. So it's fresh for me now, it's exciting again.

• 41:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Huh. What's the greatest lesson you've learned since starting the TV show till now?

• 41:52Speaker 01

  You know, I've learned that being political is foolish. I've learned that because of Bar Rescue, there's a phenomenon that happens in Bar Rescue that's fascinating. I only have four days. Normally, this would be a sixty to ninety day project. So there's this clock ticking in my head, Louis, every minute. I don't have time for you to get on the bus. You gotta get on it now. I don't have time for you to do this on your pace. You have to do it on mine. There is no tomorrow. I must move you where I need you today, or we're dead in four days. So I am under pressure every minute. It causes me to put them under pressure, to be highly confrontational. But imagine this for a moment.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  I mean, they call me up, they're four hundred thousand in debt, they're living in their parents' basement, they've owned this place for years, they have enough money to make it another two or three weeks. I'm their last chance. So I take that really seriously. So I go at them. But here's what I've learned. I've learned, and this was shocking to me. I can actually tell them, in very ugly terms, what I think of them. I'm gonna hug ten minutes later. And I've learned that bluntness is not an enemy. Being straight with people is not an enemy. If you displease, say it. If you think they're screwing up, say it. If you think that they're not gonna improve their situation, say it. For years, I didn't say things that I should have. For years, I was political.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  This television show has given me an envelope where I do not have to be political.

• 43:23Lewis Howes?

  That's probably what makes it work, too.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  Yes, and because I'm unpolitical, I am able to move people at a rate, a pace, and change their actions in a way that I would never be able to do politically.

• 43:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:36Speaker 01

  And it's fascinating, and it's almost like I wanna cause you to doubt yourself.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  So I show up on their place, at their business, and they're gonna show me this, and they're proud of that, and they're proud of this, and they're proud of this, and they're proud of that.

• 43:50Lewis Howes?

  You look at the bank account.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  And then I look at them and say, "But you're at a whole $400,000."

• 43:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  And then they tell me how great this is, and how great that is, and then I look around, but there's nobody here. So then I realize, okay, I can't change what they do. I have to change the way they think. If I change the way they think, I can't help but change what they do.

• 44:08Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  If I land on what they do, I don't have a great chance of success.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  So how do I change the way they think? I have to challenge the way they think. Every decision you make, I am gonna challenge. I'm gonna lay it on you. That's the wrong color wall. Those pictures suck. That should be blue, not orange. That should be green. This is completely wrong. That left... I am gonna attack everything until a moment comes of self-doubt. In that moment of self-doubt, you know? Maybe he's right, maybe this... In that moment, his brain opens up a crack, and I walk right in. I have to catch them in doubt, because their egos are typically their worst enemy. In that moment of doubt, if I can walk in and make them reassess their decision-making, I got them.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  And that's ugly.

• 44:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  Because I have minutes to do it. You politically would spend weeks with me getting me to that point.

• 45:04Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  It's ugly. So I learned, to hell with political approaches. Be direct, be blunt. Understand that this is their time, this is their life. They should have the urgency. And through political incorrectness, bluntness, directness, sometimes vulgarity, sometimes touching them.

• 45:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Getting them angry, I can change their lives. If I don't make them angry at their failure, I don't get anywhere.

• 45:31Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  I gotta make them pissed.

• 45:32Lewis Howes?

  They have to make a drastic change quickly, otherwise they're gonna stay where they're at.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  And they gotta get mad at themselves.

• 45:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  They gotta get mad at their situation. And they gotta funnel that anger into action.

• 45:42Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Without that anger, they've got no energy. They're just lost, they're complacent, Louis, you know? How do I get them uncomplacent? So I go at them. Then finally he goes, "You know, I've had enough with you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And I'll say, "I've been waiting for that anger for two days." "Okay, now you care."

• 45:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  "Now we can go forward." But without that anger and that inspiration, they're screwed.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Wow. I want to ask a couple of final questions. This is fascinating, so thanks for opening up.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  Of course, my pleasure.

• 46:10Lewis Howes?

  This is called the three truths. This question that I ask everyone at the end. So imagine this is many years from now and it's your last day. You're 100 and whatever you want to be. You choose when you go out of the world.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  So I'm staring at the box right now.

• 46:22Lewis Howes?

  You're staring at the box. You choose, you're like, I've done everything I want to do. I've conquered it all, I've had a great life. It's time. And you've done it all. And everything that you've created, you have to take with you. No one has access to it anymore. It has to go with you in the box and wherever it goes. But no one has access to your books, or your videos, or content.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  So I'm completely gone.

• 46:43Lewis Howes?

  Everything has come with you, right?

• 46:45Speaker 01

  That sucks.

• 46:46Lewis Howes?

  It's hypothetical, right? But you get to leave them behind one thing. And it's a piece of paper that you get to write down. Your three biggest lessons of life, your three truths. The things you know to be true about all the experiences you've had. And that's what you can leave for everyone else to be remembered by you. What would you say are your three truths? A man of many ideas and philosophies and keys, but what would be the top three for you?

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Be true to yourself. If you don't be true to yourself, you're gonna get lost. You shall never find yourself. So be true to yourself. Be open to the knowledge of others. And live a life of morality. Because there's not enough of that now. I mean, I think that those are the three messages.

• 47:32Lewis Howes?

  Those are great.

• 47:33Speaker 01

  And, you know, I think the morality one is a big one. You know, I worry about where our society is going. I worry about the divisiveness of today. I worry about the lack of caring of today. I worry about the political correctness of today. And let me share with you an example. You know, I just finished my 159th bar rescue. At the end of a bar rescue episode, I travel with a crew of 57 people who work so hard, Louis. And at the end of these 36-hour remodels, my art department has been up all night long. They've been working. And I have a bunch of women in the art department. Well, for 140 episodes, I've hugged them after every episode. Great job, great job, just like we did when we walked in here. I can't hug them anymore.

• 48:10Lewis Howes?

  Why not? Oh, because of the...

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Post-Harvey Weinstein.

• 48:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Can't hug him anymore. I can't have the casual relationship I used to have with him anymore. If our society keeps going, there's gonna be glass between all of us. All we're gonna do is look at screens. We're never gonna look at each other anymore. We have to break this stuff down. Political correctness sometimes is our enemy. We have to be true. We have to be open. We have to communicate. There shouldn't be rules of how we don't communicate. We should be open to communicating in all ways. Openly, frankly, honestly. If we don't communicate in that way, the divisiveness continues. The solution to divisiveness is communication.

• 48:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  We get more divisive, we communicate less, we dig in, we posture, and we don't get out. So what is me today?

• 48:57Lewis Howes?

  When did you learn to communicate so effectively?

• 49:00Speaker 01

  When I was really young, and this is a story I don't love telling, but I'm gonna tell it to you because I think it's important. When I was young, my mother was abusive. And she was not in the best of moods. And I could look at her face and know that today was not gonna be a good day. So I had to use humor. I had to use manipulation to change her mood, to make my day better. So I learned how to communicate with her at a very young age, not consciously. I learned how to communicate with her in ways that would change her mind, her mentality, her attitude. I could make her smile. I could do this, I could do that. And I learned that by communicating with her that way, I made it through the day.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  So at a very young age, I got good at this out of necessity. And it wasn't conscious. And it got to the point...

• 49:51Lewis Howes?

  Survival.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  It did. And it got to the point that I can change direction in the middle of a sentence and not even think about it. So if I was talking to you, and as we're talking, you did this... I will change in the middle of the sentence and not even think about it. The minute you do this, I'm gonna change in the middle of the sentence and not even think about it. So, I, through her and my survival instincts, learned how to feel the moment, change it, shift it. I start on a topic she doesn't like, in the middle of the sentence, I change that topic. You know, the sky's a little blue. You know, there's some gray over there, too. You know, looks like it's gonna... No, doesn't look like it's gonna rain. So, I learned in real time how to manage reactions. You can't do that if you don't communicate. And it wasn't conscious, it was really an instrument to survival.

• 50:36Lewis Howes?

  Right. I was gonna say, it sounds like you're playing music at a young age through communicating.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:41Lewis Howes?

  Through like, understanding the environment and shifting the mood. And then you did that with music, and then you did it as a manager.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, with humor.

• 50:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  And I use humor quite a bit. You know, I find that humor is wonderful. It's, you know, it breaks the spirit, breaks the mood. And I could use humor with her when I was very young. And the minute that smile happened, I was good for a few hours.

• 51:02Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  And then all I had to do was get, deal with the next smile. But, but you know, it was always just a few hours for me.

• 51:08Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  It was never days. So I always had to purposely manage my environment around her and manage her reactions to that environment every few hours.

• 51:18Lewis Howes?

  That's how stressful.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  And it was. And that's how reaction management came about. It was necessity.

• 51:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's powerful. I got one final question for you, but I'm gonna make sure you guys get the book. Don't Bullshit Yourself: Crush the Excuses That Are Holding You Back. Powerful book. Uh, make sure you go get lots of copies and give it to your friends. Where can they follow you online?

• 51:38Speaker 01

  John Taffer, Facebook, @JohnTaffer, on Twitter, Instagram, all under John Taffer, J-O-N-T-A-F-F-E-R.

• 51:45Lewis Howes?

  Where do you like to hang out personally the most? Is there anywhere?

• 51:47Speaker 01

  I'm very much a Twitter and Facebook guy.

• 51:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  You know, I'm on both of those very much and, and you know, we'll connect on there.

• 51:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  They can find us both in the same place sometimes.

• 51:54Lewis Howes?

  So, John Taffer on Twitter, make sure you guys reach out and let them know if you thought about this. Let them know the, the most inspiring part of this and tweet it to you, and I'm sure you'll see it there.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  We'll forward to that.

• 52:03Lewis Howes?

  Um, before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment for your ability to be real. You're completely a hundred percent authentically yourself. And I love your wisdom, your knowledge, and... Your ability to use everything you've done in your life to make an impact on the people around you. And I can, I can see that with you and it's been a lot of fun to connect. So I really acknowledge you for using your gifts at the highest level to make an impact on others.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  I'm coming from you. That means a lot to me, Louis. Thank you.

• 52:31Lewis Howes?

  Of course, of course.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Thank you, buddy. You're an inspiration to me, too.

• 52:33Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it. The last question is, what is your definition of greatness?

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Greatness is exceeding your own expectations because greatness is within. You know, other people thinking I'm great feels good, but it doesn't get me anywhere. Me thinking I'm great is what's powerful. Greatness comes when you exceed your own expectations.

• 52:53Lewis Howes?

  John Taffer. Thank you, sir. Appreciate it.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  You're welcome. It's a pleasure, buddy.

• 53:03Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode with John Taffer. Extremely inspiring, extremely insightful. If you thought it was inspiring as much as I did, then make sure to take a screenshot of your phone right now while you're listening to this. Post this on your Instagram story or your page or Twitter and tag me at Lewis Howes and put the link lewishowes.com/613 so other people can be inspired and help them overcome their excuses as well. It means the world to me that you continue to listen every single Monday, Wednesday, Friday. We come out with new episodes to help you unlock your inner greatness. And this one was a powerful one. So again, please share it out.

• 53:46Lewis Howes?

  Watch the full video interview over on youtube.com/lewishowes where we have a video coming out every single day. Short videos, longer video interviews, everything in between to help you, to inspire you, to educate, to entertain. All those things back at youtube.com/lewishowes.

• 54:08Lewis Howes?

  You know, I hope you know that there is so much available for you. I shouldn't have been able to do what I do right now. I was struggling in school early on in the special needs classes. Felt very insecure, felt very out of place. Didn't have a lot of friends growing up, didn't have a lot of self-confidence. Grew up in a small town and I had a lot of excuses on my back. A lot of excuses piling on me. And I could have easily just said, you know what? All these excuses are in the way, so I can't go do what I want. And that's why I love John's message because these excuses don't have to be excuses anymore. You can turn them into solutions to power you forward to achieving your dreams.

• 54:53Lewis Howes?

  So I hope you guys enjoy this one because as John Wooden said, never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. And you don't need to believe them either. They're just excuses that are holding you back and it's time to break free. And it's also time for something else. You know what that time is? It's time to go out there and do something great.