Financial Audit's Biggest Crashout

▶THIS IS GROSSSS- we fully dive into her personal life and I find out exactly how many people she cheated with 🤮🤮🤮 : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ▶▶Download my *budgeting app* today: *Apple:* https://apple.co/4iChGhr *Google Play:* https://bit.ly/sb-googleplay Don't overcomplicate this crap! All you need is an automated / SIMPLE budget. This comes with automatic account connections, my budget-friendly cookbook, an online community, and exclusive discounts on my products- change your financial future *NOW* ▶▶▶ *AND REMEMBER* those who sign up for Simpler Budget Premium *annual* get a signed versions of the Cook Book and Simpler Budget Founders Edition Journal, just send proof of annual here: https://tally.so/r/3xzPq5 Use the Caleb Hammer credit card finder for free today to find the credit card for your needs, powered by Agent. Ai : https://agent.ai/agent/Caleb-Hammer-Credit-Card-Finder Get the Auraglow teeth whitening strips on Amazon https://go.auraglow.com/amazon/HdVo ▶▶▶Download my *budgeting app* today: *Apple:* https://apple.co/4iChGhr *Google Play:* https://bit.ly/sb-googleplay ▶ Watch this episode's *POST* *SHOW* + get *MORE* Financial Audit here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLe_q9axMaeTbjN0hy1Z9xA/join ___________________________________________ ▶EDUCATION: *FINANAL LOW PRICE CHANCE* 1. *LAST CALL FOR 40% OFF TOTAL DISCOUNT* Bundle my budgeting, debt, investing and real estate program https://calebhammer.com/classpack/ 2. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* The best budgeting program online: https://calebhammer.com/budget 3. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Get my investing class and I’ll give you a $100 moomoo cash reward: https://calebhammer.com/investing 4. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Win with GOOD debt and get out of BAD debt correctly, learn in my debt program: https://calebhammer.com/formula 5. *LAST CALL FOR 25% OFF* Everything you need for buying your first home to buy your first investment property: https://calebhammer.com/realestate/ 6. Get your own free Hammer Financial Score: https://www.calebhammer.com ___________________________________________ ▶RESOURCES 1. Get an exclusive HighLevel 30-day trial: https://gohighlevel.com/calebhammer 2. Checking & Savings: Get up to 3.80% APY, pay no account fees, and earn up to $300 when you sign up and set up direct deposits. Terms apply: https://creator.sofi.com/c/5535481/2068695/19219?adcampaignid=bank&adnetwork=brand *affiliate link 3. Click this link https://j.moomoo.com/Caleb to get up to $150 in Cash Rewards from moomoo U. S when you make a qualified deposit + earn 8.1% on uninvested cash for a limited time for new users!! Terms and Conditions apply. Securities are offered through Moomoo Financial Inc. (MFI), Member FINRA/SIPC. The creator is a paid influencer and is not affiliated with MFI and their experiences may not be representative of other moomoo users. Investing is risky. 4. Get $20 from Acorns for free: sign up to get your bonus https://acorns.com/caleb 5. CourseCareers: Land a high-paying job with no experience or degree by going through an affordable online course https://coursecareers.com/CalebHammer 6. The credit building debit card: First 100,000 people to sign up for Fizz with code: HAMMER10 get $10: https://www.joinfizz.com/caleb (paid ad) 7. Advising: Book your free strategy session https://dmnmny.co/caleb to work with Adrianna or any of the other CFPs at Domain Money today! 8. Helium Mobile: save a ton on your phone bill, sign up and get a FREE plan when using promo code CALEB https://hellohelium.com/ 9. Online security: Protect your online privacy and security NOW and for free by following my link Aura: https://aura.com/hammer 10. Therapy: Make SonderMind your mental health home in 2025. Sign up at: https://pages.sondermind.com/caleb/ 11. Build you own stan store: https://www.stan.store/?ref=CalebHammer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 0:42Speaker 02

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• 0:45Caleb Hammer?

  To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. You're kind of crazy.

• 0:51Speaker 04

  You just now figure that out?

• 0:52Caleb Hammer?

  Your debt went up.

• 0:54Speaker 04

  You mean like on credit cards?

• 0:55Caleb Hammer?

  That is a debt.

• 0:56Speaker 04

  Are you okay? So like you're good with numbers and can't read?

• 0:58Caleb Hammer?

  Are you pranking me or are you stupid?

• 1:01Speaker 04

  Had I died tomorrow, this wouldn't matter.

• 1:03Caleb Hammer?

  You're done.

• 1:04Speaker 04

  How much, what am I supposed to receive?

• 1:05Caleb Hammer?

  I told you things you shouldn't be spending on and you wouldn't listen.

• 1:11Caleb Hammer?

  Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of Premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pinned comment below.

• 1:25Speaker 04

  Hi, my name is Alexandra. I'm 30 years old. I'm from El Paso, Texas, and this is Financial Audit.

• 1:31Caleb Hammer?

  Thanks for coming over. So what do you do there for a living?

• 1:35Speaker 04

  I am in the military and I have a side business. It's a lash business.

• 1:41Caleb Hammer?

  What are you in the military?

• 1:43Speaker 04

  I'm in the military.

• 1:43Caleb Hammer?

  We have lots of post military. We don't usually have a lot of in military. What do you do?

• 1:47Speaker 04

  I technically drive the dragon trucks. The dinosaur trucks. That's my job.

• 1:54Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck are you talking about? Do I have to serve to know that? Okay, what is your position or what branch are you in?

• 2:01Speaker 04

  I'm a driver. So I'm in the Texas Army National Guard.

• 2:04Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, is that full time?

• 2:05Speaker 04

  It's part time.

• 2:06Caleb Hammer?

  Oh.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  Well, you can be full time and part time.

• 2:08Caleb Hammer?

  But you're part time?

• 2:09Speaker 04

  I'm part time.

• 2:10Caleb Hammer?

  But you have a side gig?

• 2:11Speaker 04

  I do have a side gig.

• 2:13Caleb Hammer?

  How part time is part time?

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Part time is like three to four days a month.

• 2:20Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, listen.

• 2:24Caleb Hammer?

  That sounds like the side gig. If it's three to four days a month, why is there a side gig for the side gig?

• 2:32Speaker 04

  It's not a side gig. It's my job title. I'm just not on orders. Like, I don't do it full time.

• 2:37Caleb Hammer?

  Time either. Exactly. So you have a side gig for a side gig? Kind of.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  I mean, no, not really.

• 2:42Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, well, what do you get? What do you make from the Texas National Guard?

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Um, like, three hundred dollars.

• 2:48Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so it's a side gig. Okay, I'm just talking math wise, whatever the title is. Come on, if we're being real, you're not living off of thirty, three hundred dollars a month. Okay.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Obviously, Caleb.

• 2:59Caleb Hammer?

  I'll write down a sick three hundred dollars a month. Woo, we're making it. Okay, and what does your side gig make? What is it?

• 3:05Speaker 04

  I make thirty-five to four thousand a month.

• 3:09Caleb Hammer?

  There, that is money.

• 3:12Caleb Hammer?

  We'll call it four thousand hours a month total. Add them both together. What's your side gig?

• 3:17Speaker 04

  It's a Z lash. It's a lash business.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  I do lashes. I do eyelash extensions.

• 3:24Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just looking at yours.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Okay, my lashes are not done.

• 3:27Caleb Hammer?

  Uh huh. But I I wasn't gonna say it. So what

• 3:32Caleb Hammer?

  do you do?

• 3:33Speaker 04

  I'm a licensed eyelash technician.

• 3:37Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  And I put on lashes on women.

• 3:40Caleb Hammer?

  Cool. How many hours a week do you do that?

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Like, twenty to thirty hours.

• 3:44Caleb Hammer?

  It's not bad. I mean, so are you getting paid hourly? Do you get commission for different lash jobs?

• 3:49Speaker 04

  Set up to where I make like sixty dollars an hour, but average sets take me like ninety minutes.

• 3:56Caleb Hammer?

  So when you say you have it set up, what are you doing? Are you going into someone else's place? Or are you just going to people?

• 4:03Speaker 04

  Uh, no, I rent a suite and a salon.

• 4:07Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, yes.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  I'm a solo.

• 4:09Caleb Hammer?

  I've accidentally walked through places like that, yeah. It's weird. They, it feels like a mall, a mall for getting things done to your face. Okay. And had, interesting. Well, four thousand hours a month. El Paso, definitely on the, uh, not the expensive central and eastern part of Texas. So how are we living? How are we doing? How are you feeling?

• 4:33Speaker 04

  Great. My wife is rich.

• 4:36Caleb Hammer?

  Wife, okay. How long have we been together?

• 4:42Caleb Hammer?

  Wait, your wife is rich?

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. She's full-time military. Same branch.

• 4:48Caleb Hammer?

  And that's rich?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  Well, she makes-

• 4:51Caleb Hammer?

  Well, what's her rich? What's rich?

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Like, she makes a lot of money monthly.

• 4:56Caleb Hammer?

  How much?

• 4:57Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 4:58Caleb Hammer?

  Well, because is it rich or not? Like, let's find out.

• 5:00Speaker 04

  From like eighty-five hundred to ten thousand.

• 5:03Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so she's definitely like upper-middle-class. Gotcha. Okay, rich could be like, she's making like millions.

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Are you saying I'm lower-class because I have my own business?

• 5:11Caleb Hammer?

  No, I think you're middle-class, which is great and awesome and entrepreneurial, and I love that. But when I hear rich, I think rich is like, fucking like, oh, this, they can do whatever.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  Well, it's pretty rich for some people.

• 5:21Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, okay, that's not the point. It's, you use the term out, whatever. It doesn't matter. Okay, so a upper-middle-class wife, good. How long have you guys been together?

• 5:32Speaker 04

  Um, like fifteen months.

• 5:34Caleb Hammer?

  Does she not? So it's a pretty young marriage, okay. Is she thirty as well?

• 5:37Speaker 04

  Well, married for like five months.

• 5:43Caleb Hammer?

  So it's very young marriage. Wait, you've only been together in general for fifteen months?

• 5:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:47Caleb Hammer?

  But married for five?

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:48Caleb Hammer?

  Wow, okay, so...

• 5:53Caleb Hammer?

  Interesting. How old is she?

• 5:55Speaker 04

  She's thirty-five.

• 5:56Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, very good. Anyone bringing? I, I'm assuming you guys haven't had kids together, but is anyone bringing in kids into the relationship?

• 6:04Speaker 04

  I have two kids.

• 6:05Caleb Hammer?

  You have two kids?

• 6:06Speaker 04

  I do have two kids.

• 6:06Caleb Hammer?

  What about her?

• 6:07Speaker 04

  No kids.

• 6:08Caleb Hammer?

  How old are your kids?

• 6:09Speaker 04

  Um, nine and eight.

• 6:12Caleb Hammer?

  Where'd that come from?

• 6:13Speaker 04

  My first marriage.

• 6:15Caleb Hammer?

  You've already been married?

• 6:16Speaker 04

  Three times.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, don't get married.

• 6:26Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck are you doing? I would say yes, get married to the person you love that you want to be with for the rest of your life. This is your third or fourth?

• 6:33Speaker 04

  This is my third and last.

• 6:36Caleb Hammer?

  He, okay. Statistically for you, I don't know. And two women also.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  That's rude!

• 6:43Caleb Hammer?

  Well, no, two women together. I mean, statistically, highest divorce rate.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Well, it's two women out of three marriages, so...

• 6:52Caleb Hammer?

  Have you been married with women or men? Not that it matters.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  The first one was a guy.

• 6:56Caleb Hammer?

  And is that the babies?

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:01Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  That's the baby's dad.

• 7:03Caleb Hammer?

  The baby's dad, baby daddy, sure.

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Last wife, well, ex-wife was.

• 7:08Caleb Hammer?

  It was, okay. Was what?

• 7:11Speaker 04

  Woman.

• 7:12Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay.

• 7:13Speaker 04

  Obviously, it's an ex-wife.

• 7:15Caleb Hammer?

  Gotcha. So, okay, what are we talking about today? Because if the new wife, the new fresh found marriage, which I'm sure will be the third

• 7:28Caleb Hammer?

  of about 20.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Easy.

• 7:31Caleb Hammer?

  Well, just going off of your consistency.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 7:34Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 7:36Speaker 04

  It's the third and it's the last.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  I promise.

• 7:40Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 7:41Speaker 04

  It's the third and it's the last, I promise.

• 7:44Caleb Hammer?

  It doesn't mean anything to me. I don't care. All right. So, okay, so 4,000 hours a month. Obviously, we're focused on that. You have a lot of debt. But if we have a rich wife, legally married, what is the financial situation in the household? Are you guys together? What are we doing in terms of finances? Because this is fucking insane. Do you guys see how much this is? I haven't had this much paperwork since borderline, we had a theme to week called Fat Sack Week. This is crazy. This is crazy. So what the is going on?

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Well, she has a lot of debt and.

• 8:19Caleb Hammer?

  She? So I hear, so this is not just you. This is both of you.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  I've only contributed 15 months of that.

• 8:27Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that could, I don't know how much is accumulated for the, what debt isn't a time. What the, it's a number. I don't know.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  Because she's, she was married before me.

• 8:36Caleb Hammer?

  You were married before her.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  I'm saying she was married before me and all of this existed before I did. I just maybe made it worse.

• 8:47Caleb Hammer?

  So you guys just hop, hop, hop. Okay, so we're just, it's fucking, uh, duck, duck, goose. Okay, so, gotcha.

• 8:55Caleb Hammer?

  How many marriages has she had?

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Um, I'm her second and last.

• 9:00Caleb Hammer?

  You seem sassy.

• 9:02Speaker 04

  Well.

• 9:03Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, this is out of the gate. We haven't talked about anything. It's like, calm down, okay? I get it, it's a far drive from El Paso, so.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  I flew.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  But yes, I'm a.

• 9:16Caleb Hammer?

  Well, then you should be fine. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Well, cause I had two hours of sleep, Caleb.

• 9:20Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, okay, uh, so. Are you saying all, you said, I only contributed fifteen months to this.

• 9:26Speaker 04

  I didn't say all, I said maybe fifteen months.

• 9:29Caleb Hammer?

  That's not even what I just said. I just said that. I said you, hold on. I just said you, you said you contributed fifteen months to this. I don't know what fifteen months equates to. Is fifteen months this much? Is fifteen months this much? Is fifteen months this much? What's fifteen months? Cause this isn't months. These are numbers. I don't know. How, what, what is you, what is her? Why is she not here? Why am I only talking to you? What's happening?

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Because she's in the military and she's active duty, so she can't be here. She couldn't be here today.

• 9:57Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, okay, so.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Remember, she's full time, I'm part time.

• 10:01Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know, what, uh, but you guys are in El Paso. Are we, and are we invading New Mexico? I don't, I don't know what's happening, so.

• 10:11Caleb Hammer?

  Household income, what's the household income on a monthly basis? Do you know? Are you guys combined financially?

• 10:16Speaker 04

  We recently just combined.

• 10:17Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, there's a step. Did you know about all her debt going into this?

• 10:21Speaker 04

  I didn't.

• 10:23Caleb Hammer?

  Why are we married? Oh, because you guys moved very quick.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  Well, that's what lesbians do.

• 10:29Caleb Hammer?

  That's what I was saying.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  Um, what was the question?

• 10:39Caleb Hammer?

  I don't remember, so.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Neither do I.

• 10:42Caleb Hammer?

  In here, what's the household income? That's what I asked.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  Um.

• 10:47Caleb Hammer?

  What comes in on a monthly basis? What has the account?

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Total on both ends, fourteen thousand.

• 10:53Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  A month.

• 10:54Caleb Hammer?

  It's incredible. Why are we in debt? What's happening?

• 10:56Speaker 04

  Well.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  We recently just joined finances, which if I'm being completely honest, I kind of regret doing.

• 11:04Caleb Hammer?

  Why? Well, this is the forever person, though.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Okay, it is, but I didn't. Now her stuff is like stressing me out. I don't have as much stuff as she does.

• 11:14Caleb Hammer?

  You got married before you fucking met each other's parents at that point.

• 11:17Speaker 04

  Well, obviously.

• 11:18Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, actually, that's actually not good, probably. I don't know your relationships with your parents, but that's probably not good. Okay, so we moved into this quick. You didn't even know her dad?

• 11:29Speaker 04

  No, I didn't know her dad. What's that? You don't go on a first date and be like, hey, so what's your credit score? Even though people actually just joke about that kind of stuff.

• 11:35Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you're right. Nothing happens between the first date and marriage. Are you fucking stupid? What are you talking about? I'm, you don't know, you didn't, you guys were together for 10 months before marriage, right?

• 11:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess.

• 11:47Caleb Hammer?

  Did you have more than one date?

• 11:49Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 11:49Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so why didn't you guys ever talk about money? When, who, when did you guys, how long were you engaged? How long were you engaged?

• 11:56Speaker 04

  We were engaged for four months.

• 12:00Caleb Hammer?

  You guys were only dating for like six, seven months, okay?

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Okay, first of all, we were dating for two weeks and then she moved in, okay? I'm telling you, it's a gay thing. I just thought.

• 12:09Caleb Hammer?

  It's a lesbian thing.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  I thought she had a handle on things. She was married before me. Ex-wife didn't work, stay-at-home wife. They were married for seven years and she didn't work. And so also.

• 12:21Caleb Hammer?

  Which one didn't work? Which one didn't work?

• 12:23Speaker 04

  Her ex-wife didn't work. So she was a stay-at-home mom. She also had kids. So I was just putting things.

• 12:29Caleb Hammer?

  Does your wife have biological children?

• 12:32Speaker 04

  No, she does not.

• 12:33Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so the kids have not come? So this is your kids?

• 12:35Speaker 04

  It's just my babies.

• 12:36Caleb Hammer?

  Building the picture, keep going.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Yes. So her ex-wife didn't work for seven years. And she's been in the military for a very long time. And I just assumed, you know, two plus two equals four. She has it handled. Wife is not working, two kids. She makes enough money.

• 12:52Caleb Hammer?

  In the military has to, those are the people that are usually most with money.

• 12:55Speaker 04

  Well.

• 12:56Caleb Hammer?

  And mental health.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  They give us a bad rap. It's not, well, I don't know. This doesn't help the situation either.

• 13:01Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, but why'd you assume that? Why wouldn't you guys, why wouldn't you guys have one conversation? Does she know about your finances?

• 13:07Speaker 04

  No.

• 13:09Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my fuck. Who proposed?

• 13:11Speaker 04

  It, she did. It came up in conversation that she, that her credit score was like 700. So I was just like, oh shit. Well, I guess it used to be.

• 13:24Caleb Hammer?

  Does she know her own finances?

• 13:28Speaker 04

  I think so. She just doesn't like to tell me.

• 13:31Caleb Hammer?

  So you kind of suggested you regretted combining accounts. Why? Just the debt or what's happening?

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Because

• 13:40Speaker 04

  it's stressful. It's fucking stressful. Like, a lot of it is on her end. And I just-

• 13:46Caleb Hammer?

  What's the stressful part? Just the debt? Is she blowing all the money?

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Both.

• 13:50Caleb Hammer?

  Like, if we had fourteen thousand dollars a month, nah.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  Right? You would think. It's El Paso, Texas. It's a lot of money.

• 13:56Caleb Hammer?

  Yes. So why? Maybe you can answer that.

• 14:05Caleb Hammer?

  Maybe you can answer that. Can you not answer that?

• 14:08Speaker 04

  It's because we both have unreasonable spending habits and it stresses me out.

• 14:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so it's not just her.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Like, her debt is now-

• 14:15Caleb Hammer?

  So it's not just her. She has the debt, but you both have the spending habits. That's what you just said. Don't say no.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  The debt that existed before I did. I have now accrued because we're married.

• 14:25Caleb Hammer?

  But you can leverage this massive household income to pay off that debt, but you're not willing to cut back on your spending? Do you view it as her debt, not your debt as well?

• 14:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 14:35Caleb Hammer?

  Well, obviously with your language, you view it as her debt. You guys don't view it as combined. I feel like we're just-

• 14:39Speaker 04

  But it is combined. It just, sometimes I look at it and I'm like-

• 14:42Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, but you call it hers. I feel like we're just friends with flaps. Like, at this point, you're not actually like legally married, sure, but you're not acting like you guys are together forever.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  It's hard. She, I see things with reason and she doesn't. So, and she makes most of the income-

• 14:59Caleb Hammer?

  You said your spending habits too, though.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  Okay, because she makes most of the income and she's just like, I want to go buy Pokemon cards and I'm-

• 15:05Caleb Hammer?

  Can she go buy Pokemon cards? Probably. She can probably budget it. Can she budget it?

• 15:08Speaker 04

  Yes, absolutely.

• 15:09Caleb Hammer?

  Well, there we go. So it's not just that. What about your spending habits?

• 15:13Speaker 04

  Um, I don't have any.

• 15:16Caleb Hammer?

  You said because of her spending habits and my spending habits. You don't spend money.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Sometimes.

• 15:24Caleb Hammer?

  What? How much? On what? What's your? Come on, dude. Don't be a dumb-

• 15:34Caleb Hammer?

  Have you seen me roasting people's terrible credit card choices? But how about we flip the script? Introducing the Caleb Hammer Credit Card Finder, now on Agent AI.

• 15:46Speaker 00

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• 16:15Caleb Hammer?

  AI, it's like having me in your pocket minus the sarcastic comments. It's super simple. Answer 15 quick questions and you'll instantly get matched with a credit card that actually fits your spending habits. No more guessing games, no more endless Google or YouTube rabbit holes, just smart recommendations that you can trust. We designed this tool on Agent AI to help save you from hours of research and even worse, from ending up with a credit card that's as useful as a screen door on a submarine. And now that you can confidently pick a card that actually boosts your finances, rewards your spending, and matches your lifestyle. And credit cards are just the start. Agent AI has tons more helpful agents ready to tackle your everyday problems.

• 16:59Caleb Hammer?

  Need YouTube video summarized? We've got an agent for that. Want fresh ideas for content creation? There's an agent for that as well. From website design graders to productivity boosters, if you've got a problem, Agent AI probably has an AI-powered solution waiting for you. So if you're tired of wasting your time and ready for a credit card that makes sense, take the Caleb Hammer Credit Card Finder quiz. Simply register on agent.ai. It's quick, easy, and totally free. It's like having me personally vet your next credit card, but nicer. And that's it. Say goodbye to guessing and say hello to smarter credit choices. Visit agent.ai or click the link below and let me know what card you land on.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  Amazon is really bad. That's it. That's it. That's it. I don't have, I don't, I don't buy shoes. I don't buy anything. I don't have hobbies. It's just the house has to look nice, so I buy stuff from Amazon.

• 18:02Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, that's the best decor.

• 18:07Caleb Hammer?

  Most long lasting. Okay, so we know what comes in on a monthly basis. How much did the household spend last month?

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Probably like seven thousand?

• 18:20Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, cuz you're the knowledgeable one, right? Or who's the knowledgeable one about the household finances?

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Me.

• 18:25Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  I look at it more often than she does.

• 18:27Caleb Hammer?

  You look at it more often. Seven thousand came in, fourteen thousand, or fourteen thousand came in, seven thousand went out. So you only spent half. Wouldn't debt be paid down, though, if only half was spent?

• 18:36Speaker 04

  You would think.

• 18:36Caleb Hammer?

  Or where would it go? I would think, which is why I just said it. So.

• 18:42Caleb Hammer?

  Please tell me how that, how that works.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  Well, okay, so we went on, we went on a big trip.

• 18:46Caleb Hammer?

  That is spending. That would count towards money going out. Do you not count that?

• 18:54Speaker 04

  No, it just, I just count bills.

• 18:58Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, let's reassess.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  You said household expense.

• 19:02Caleb Hammer?

  I did not. I said what went out versus what came in. I did not say household expenses.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Okay, well.

• 19:07Caleb Hammer?

  Wasn't it that I've never said that?

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Is like seven thousand.

• 19:10Caleb Hammer?

  Congratulations. I would also like, I'd like to reassess this, okay?

• 19:16Caleb Hammer?

  What went out? How much went out? Boom. Household income, that's probably what I said. Household income, how much went out?

• 19:26Speaker 04

  I'm telling you, probably like sixty-five, seven thousand dollars.

• 19:29Caleb Hammer?

  That makes sense. You just told me the household expenditures, expenditures are seven thousand dollars.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  Well, you're supposed to make it make sense.

• 19:35Caleb Hammer?

  You said you went on a trip.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  We did, and it was great.

• 19:39Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, that would probably mean your, the money went out is more than just your household expenses. So how much do you think went out? How much the do you think went out?

• 19:53Caleb Hammer?

  How much do you think?

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Ten, ten thousand, ten thousand dollars.

• 19:58Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Where did it go?

• 20:01Speaker 04

  To the trip, I just told you.

• 20:02Caleb Hammer?

  Where'd you go?

• 20:03Speaker 04

  To the Philippines.

• 20:05Caleb Hammer?

  Is that where you're from?

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm Filipino.

• 20:07Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  Full bread.

• 20:10Caleb Hammer?

  Congratulations.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Thanks, it's pretty great.

• 20:13Caleb Hammer?

  So, yeah, it was twenty-five thousand dollars.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  What's twenty-five thousand dollars?

• 20:22Caleb Hammer?

  That's the number that was spent. That's what went out.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  Last month?

• 20:29Caleb Hammer?

  Last month?

• 20:30Speaker 04

  No. We don't even make that much money, what do you, no.

• 20:34Caleb Hammer?

  That's the point, that's the conversation we're having.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Somebody miscalculated.

• 20:40Caleb Hammer?

  What are you on here for? What are you on the show for?

• 20:43Speaker 04

  To fix finances, Caleb, and to save my marriage before it's doomed.

• 20:46Caleb Hammer?

  Did you just say that? Because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Because there's no way, we don't make, we don't even make that much money a month.

• 20:52Caleb Hammer?

  That's the point. You're in debt. You put more on debt, your debt went up.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  You mean like on credit cards?

• 21:02Caleb Hammer?

  That is a de-

• 21:08Caleb Hammer?

  What kind of person did you guys find? I'm concerned that-

• 21:11Speaker 04

  Okay, help me out here.

• 21:12Caleb Hammer?

  She doesn't have, no, no, I'm concerned she doesn't have the mental bandwidth for a conversation involving numbers. That's the, like, credit cards, yes, like, credit cards. Are you kidding me right now? What are we talking about?

• 21:27Speaker 04

  Well, because you asked how much came in and then you asked how much went out, so I thought you meant like checking accounts.

• 21:33Caleb Hammer?

  Stupid.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Neither.

• 21:37Caleb Hammer?

  Is she on board to get the finances fixed?

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Like-

• 21:40Caleb Hammer?

  What have you guys talked about money-wise now?

• 21:45Speaker 04

  That we need to get our shit together.

• 21:47Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, I feel like you said that.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  I did say that.

• 21:50Caleb Hammer?

  Cool, where's her head?

• 21:52Speaker 04

  She's hopefully on board, I don't-

• 21:55Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my-

• 21:59Caleb Hammer?

  Did they leave you? The other marriages, did they leave you?

• 22:04Speaker 04

  No, I left. Um, rude. I filed for the divorces, probably not.

• 22:09Caleb Hammer?

  You filed for the divorces? Are you sure you didn't just get like lost from the house?

• 22:13Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 22:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. You left, whatever, whatever, whatever. What is the conversation that you guys have? You don't even like know, you don't even like know where she's at, right? Is that what I'm hearing?

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Not a hundred percent, like we.

• 22:28Caleb Hammer?

  Why? Why not listen to her? Or does she not talk? What is the state of this conversation? I need some kind of insight.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  We just talk about it sometimes, but it's not, it's, finance is a hard conversation. So like, we don't budget or anything. We're big on, we're really big on convenience.

• 22:46Caleb Hammer?

  On what?

• 22:47Speaker 04

  Convenience.

• 22:47Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay. I'll get you guys, obviously, on my budgeting app. Make sure you guys download it. Link in the description below. I'll get you that for free, the premium version for free. And everyone that gets the premium version gets a signed cookbook mailed directly to them. So, yeah, you get that and then you guys can budget. But my concern is through this conversation, you're not actually able to tell me how these conversations go. You say they're difficult because they're money. How do they go? Walk me through the last conversation.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Um.

• 23:23Caleb Hammer?

  How long ago was it? I know it might be difficult for you to remember more than a week ago.

• 23:33Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  We don't talk about money. It's just like, okay, we have $2,000 left in the account.

• 23:41Caleb Hammer?

  This world is broken.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  After bills are paid, so let's.

• 23:44Caleb Hammer?

  You say you want to get out of debt and you told me you guys talk about it. I just want to know what her opinion is. What's her fucking opinion?

• 23:52Speaker 04

  She agrees. She agrees that we're fucked and that we have to change habits, but we don't.

• 23:58Caleb Hammer?

  Do you guys agree on what you have to do?

• 24:01Speaker 04

  Yes, but.

• 24:03Caleb Hammer?

  What is it?

• 24:04Speaker 04

  I feel like, well, obviously we have to budget.

• 24:08Caleb Hammer?

  It's a good first step.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  So.

• 24:12Caleb Hammer?

  So what?

• 24:15Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 24:16Speaker 04

  I feel like I see our finances with a little bit more reason than she does and she likes to spend. Unreasonably.

• 24:25Caleb Hammer?

  So she's not willing to cut back?

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yes, she said she is. I just haven't seen it.

• 24:31Caleb Hammer?

  Have you cut back?

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:35Caleb Hammer?

  I feel like you probably haven't.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  Well, not this month, no.

• 24:40Caleb Hammer?

  Why not this month?

• 24:42Speaker 04

  We just got back from vacation. I'm still on vacay mode.

• 24:45Caleb Hammer?

  When'd you get back?

• 24:47Speaker 04

  Like, two weeks ago.

• 24:48Caleb Hammer?

  Philippines, it's expensive travel, but it's cheap when you're there. So it's like, what, two weeks? Two weeks? Vacay mode? Is this the new stupid version of birthday month that I'm being?

• 25:00Speaker 04

  Well, we did spend our birthdays over there and we were also there for three-

• 25:05Caleb Hammer?

  How long were you guys there?

• 25:06Speaker 04

  Three and a half weeks.

• 25:07Caleb Hammer?

  That's a long- So I get the other side of the world being longer than normal, because it's a it's a long trip.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  It's an 18-hour flight.

• 25:16Caleb Hammer?

  Exactly, but you're back. It's time to buckle up.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 25:21Caleb Hammer?

  Tighten the belt.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  But-

• 25:23Caleb Hammer?

  You had your vacation. You guys have an insane amount of- If I don't start going through this debt, we're never getting out of here. Okay. All right, where do you think your household? Do you know what that means? It means you and her. Okay, where do you think your score would be financially? Zero to 10s, you're being the worst, 10 being the best. 10 is a number, so zero. You can give 10 numbers in between there.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  Five. Five.

• 25:49Caleb Hammer?

  Have you seen this show?

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Yes, I've seen the show. All the time, actually. You're welcome.

• 25:56Caleb Hammer?

  Were you closing your ears and eyes while it was playing near you? You think you're a five? This is some of, this is the, one of the biggest stacks of, okay. Guys, if you want your Hammer Financial Score, you're not a fucking moron. Sorry. Sorry. Go to CalebHammer.com and you can also click the link in the description below and take the assessment, see where you stand financially. If you want to come down here to Austin, Texas, we'd be happy to have you. Go to CalebHammer.com/apply. All right, okay. Sure. Let's

• 26:29Caleb Hammer?

  talk about this stuff.

• 26:32Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, God. What? No, we're just starting with like a fucking insane balance. Oh, we do spend $25,000 a month somehow.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  We

• 26:43Caleb Hammer?

  Crazy. Shut the up. Yes, you do. That's literally what you do.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  On what?

• 26:49Caleb Hammer?

  I think we're gonna find out. Something tells me you've seen the show before that we might find out. Starting now, Southwest Rapid Rewards. Okay. So $14,372.92. Minimum monthly payment, $480. That's crazy. What is up with this card? That is a crazy balance, crazy minimum monthly payment. Even with your super strong income, that's a devastating minimum monthly payment. Devastating. Please tell.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  That's not my card.

• 27:26Speaker 04

  Well, it is now mine, but it's

• 27:27Caleb Hammer?

  There it is. You figured it out. You got there. Well, legally, nah, but

• 27:34Caleb Hammer?

  Depends on a few things in the end, but Yes, I think it is best in a marriage that we consider it all ours. What hit you out of the, what made you come out of the gate with, it's not mine?

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Because I didn't

• 27:49Caleb Hammer?

  Serves me about your guys. This is fast moving 50 marriages before 30 lifestyle like

• 27:55Speaker 04

  I couldn't even get approved for a thousand dollar credit limit in a lifetime.

• 27:59Caleb Hammer?

  You probably can't manage it. And yes, you would, but

• 28:05Caleb Hammer?

  What, what's going on with it? Do you know? Oh, you don't even know.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Okay, so I think that card was used

• 28:12Caleb Hammer?

  This is Southwest. Did you use this for plane tickets to the Philippines?

• 28:15Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:17Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  It was used for our very first couple trip to Las Vegas.

• 28:23Caleb Hammer?

  How often do you guys travel?

• 28:25Speaker 04

  All the time.

• 28:26Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, you're broken.

• 28:28Speaker 04

  Technically, we're not.

• 28:29Caleb Hammer?

  No, listen, you guys can't afford life. You simply can't afford

• 28:33Speaker 04

  But we do and we've been

• 28:34Caleb Hammer?

  You don't, your debt goes up. That's why you're able to spend what you spend. And it's gonna get pushed to a limit where you guys aren't going to be able to make it.

• 28:41Speaker 04

  Well, we're just not gonna like go see the world?

• 28:44Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you're just like, you're not gonna go see the world. You, you said it. You figured it out.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  We're just not gonna go see the world because

• 28:49Caleb Hammer?

  You're not gonna go see the world.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Credit cards just manage our lives.

• 28:55Caleb Hammer?

  Ye- yes.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:58Caleb Hammer?

  Well, what's the

• 29:01Caleb Hammer?

  Then what are we doing here?

• 29:03Speaker 04

  You're supposed to help us.

• 29:06Caleb Hammer?

  In what way? I'm not a magic pill. Buddy, if I say, "Hey, maybe you can't do a luxurious vacation once a month," and that's why you're in debt-

• 29:14Speaker 04

  Okay, first of all, it's not even once a month.

• 29:16Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the [__] up. If I just give literally the most basic thing and tell you to cut out the most expensive thing, that maybe you do once a year instead, max, which I wouldn't even do, I'd get out of [__] debt, then maybe, maybe you'd be willing to cut that back.

• 29:33Caleb Hammer?

  So I don't know what the [__] is going on here. This is so stupid. This is so stupid already. So dumb. This is the first card. You have to be receptive. If you're sitting at this table, you have to be receptive, or I'm not [__] filming.

• 29:48Speaker 04

  I am receptive. I just don't agree with your logic.

• 29:52Caleb Hammer?

  Please explain!

• 29:54Speaker 04

  I mean, you know, everybody, everybody has debt.

• 29:57Caleb Hammer?

  No!

• 29:58Speaker 04

  Yes!

• 29:59Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, [__].

• 30:00Speaker 04

  Everybody has debt and I'm just not gonna have, we're just not gonna go see the world-

• 30:04Caleb Hammer?

  Yes!

• 30:05Speaker 04

  And not go travel just because credit cards have to be paid.

• 30:08Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my [__].

• 30:12Speaker 04

  You have, you have to go make memories.

• 30:13Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the [__] up. Shut the-

• 30:14Speaker 04

  You have to go make memories. What are you gonna do? Just stay in your house and [__] work all the time?

• 30:18Caleb Hammer?

  No!

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Literally?

• 30:19Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh, buddy.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Is that what you do? Is that why you're just so miserable all the time?

• 30:23Caleb Hammer?

  Well, yes, I am building a business here, so I do put in more work than you've ever put in in your entire life, but I also have results to show for it, and you have nothing to show for it. I know you like free things, and I'm giving some things away for free right now, and let me show you how to get it. First, I'm giving you a limited edition Financial Audit Tumblr, plus a 30-day trial of Simpler Budget Premium to new users when you buy my four-class bundle. And this trial is normally only 14 days, but I'm doubling it just for those purchasers. And do you just want one class? No worries, you'll still get access to that 30-day Simpler Budget trial. And act now, because we're winding down our intro pricing at midnight on April 23rd,

• 31:08Caleb Hammer?

  so this is the best price you'll ever see on these classes. So if you're feeling stuck or intimidated by your finances, you're not alone, and now is the best time to get started. Grab your free limited edition Tumblr, sit back, and finally take control of your financial future, or don't, and you can end up right here.

• 31:29Caleb Hammer?

  But also at the same time, because of that, I could retire right now and actually go see the world without going in debt because I put in the time, I put in the work, I put in the effort, the mental energy, the stress, the zits. Instead, your next vacation will be living under a bridge and you won't be leaving there.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  You're on a cookie.

• 31:46Caleb Hammer?

  And guess what? She won't be there following your track record. So, yeah, I say we cut back. You've already been married.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Three times.

• 31:57Caleb Hammer?

  When? How often?

• 31:59Speaker 04

  Maybe like every three to four months.

• 32:01Caleb Hammer?

  No, you can't. You can't go once a quarter. Buddy, you are, you can go on road trips here and there. I could maybe slot in a big, a trip once a year. We can see the world. You guys have a strong income to build up a nest egg to go see the world.

• 32:17Speaker 04

  Okay, so instead of screaming at me, do that. I mean...

• 32:19Caleb Hammer?

  I can't do that unless you're willing to cut out the trips for a moment.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  Um, okay, after July, we will.

• 32:29Caleb Hammer?

  What's coming up before July? What's coming up before July?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  So I have a son who has achondroplasia.

• 32:38Caleb Hammer?

  What is that? I don't know what that is.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  It's a form of dwarfism. Tread lightly.

• 32:43Caleb Hammer?

  How'd he get that?

• 32:45Speaker 04

  It's a genetic mutation. So anyway, once a year, they do these conferences and we, I try to go, we try to go every year.

• 32:55Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that, I mean, that sounds happier. That sounded go see the world. That's a...

• 32:58Speaker 04

  It's in like major cities of the States, so...

• 33:02Caleb Hammer?

  Major cities?

• 33:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, like one time it was in Austin, this year it's in San Diego.

• 33:07Caleb Hammer?

  Careful. It's easier to lose him there. So I...

• 33:18Caleb Hammer?

  I, I didn't get the chat, sorry.

• 33:22Caleb Hammer?

  I'm so sorry.

• 33:25Caleb Hammer?

  She's laughing. It's okay. It's okay. She's laughing.

• 33:29Speaker 04

  Usually I'm the only one allowed to make jokes.

• 33:31Caleb Hammer?

  It passed the test.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  I'll take it.

• 33:33Caleb Hammer?

  And him, and him. Listen, I'm okay with that part. I'm okay with, I'm okay with those things that are good for, you know, a development of a kid.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  Uh, I think all travels are good for your soul.

• 33:44Caleb Hammer?

  Sure, but like I'm, but I'm willing to put in things like gym, right? Like, I'm not cutting back from gym. There are things that are good. And you're right, traveling probably is good for the soul, but listen, because he has like a disorder.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  A diagnosis?

• 34:01Caleb Hammer?

  What was diagnosed? A disorder? I don't, whatever it is, we want to support it. And this can be a good way to do that. So I might not be fully opposed to that, but a trip to the Philippines, I'm probably fully opposed to, because that's not supporting someone in a curious situation.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  Well, it's supporting me because I get to go back home to my roots and my family.

• 34:23Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, but you have a long time to do that statistically. And I would.

• 34:26Speaker 04

  What if I die tomorrow and I never went back home?

• 34:28Caleb Hammer?

  I said statistically, but also if you died tomorrow, you won't know that you didn't have gone.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Right. And so this also won't matter if I die tomorrow.

• 34:36Caleb Hammer?

  Exactly. But let's bet on the statistical likelihood that you will live until at least mid seventies. Statistically.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 34:45Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah. So I'd rather choose that. That doesn't make any sense. Do you see, do you understand the logic I just used?

• 34:51Speaker 04

  Well, I just.

• 34:53Caleb Hammer?

  Do you understand it? I need to make sure you at least understand that.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Statistically, yes, I get it. But also, is this not? No, what, because statistics are not in charge. Had I died tomorrow, we wouldn't have been able to live like the Kardashians in the Philippines.

• 35:06Caleb Hammer?

  Had you died tomorrow, you won't know that you had lived.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  But also, had I died tomorrow, this wouldn't matter.

• 35:12Caleb Hammer?

  Exactly. Exactly. That is what I'm saying. If you died tomorrow and you didn't go, you wouldn't have regretted anything because you're dead. You don't regret when you're dead. You're dead. But if you, on the very high chance, live tomorrow, I'd rather you be in a place where you're not completely.

• 35:35Speaker 04

  But I would have gone and I would have had that memory.

• 35:38Caleb Hammer?

  I don't think.

• 35:39Speaker 04

  With my whole family, all 23 of them.

• 35:43Caleb Hammer?

  And what genetics were passed to your brain, I'm curious.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  Great ones, if you can't tell already.

• 35:51Caleb Hammer?

  Hey, listen. You're defensive.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  I am not.

• 35:56Caleb Hammer?

  Are you serious? Are you fucking kidding me? I was gonna defend your defencism. Defencism.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  Not a word.

• 36:03Caleb Hammer?

  That's, yeah, that's. I'm just thinking isms when I'm looking at you.

• 36:09Caleb Hammer?

  Just, I'm sorry. That's just, that's what's in my head right now.

• 36:15Speaker 00

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• 36:44Caleb Hammer?

  So.

• 36:48Caleb Hammer?

  I'm just saying.

• 36:53Caleb Hammer?

  When people are in front of the camera and are not used to being in front of the camera, and when they're getting confronted for the first time, when they're not used to getting confronted, it is normal to be defensive. I would like you to actually just, just think though, just think be more receptive.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  I'm not being defensive. I'm literally explaining to you my thought process behind.

• 37:12Caleb Hammer?

  Hopefully you guys are enjoying this, because my enjoyment is gone.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  That have been made.

• 37:16Caleb Hammer?

  Hey, you're purchasing on a credit card, on the 14,000 stupid dollar credit card? $117.70. She purchasing, you're purchasing? Are you authorized user? I don't think so.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  I'm not an authorized user. I don't have a card. I don't have access to that card.

• 37:29Caleb Hammer?

  Do you know she's purchasing? Are you okay with her purchasing?

• 37:31Speaker 04

  I don't know that she's purchasing.

• 37:33Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, now you know she's purchasing. What do you think?

• 37:36Speaker 04

  Well, it's her card. My debt. So that sucks for both of us.

• 37:45Caleb Hammer?

  If you guys have a conversation about this, will she stop purchasing? Or are we wasting our fucking time?

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Maybe she will. I don't know.

• 37:52Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my gosh.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Maybe.

• 37:54Caleb Hammer?

  This is the least productive.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  Yes, she will. Yes, yes.

• 37:58Caleb Hammer?

  You're just saying that now. Okay, $336 of interest created in one single month on one single card? That is insane. Basically at its credit limit, no one's surprised. Is it fucking Amazon? You guys share your Amazon accounts or independent accounts?

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Independent.

• 38:22Caleb Hammer?

  Why would you pay for two separate Amazon Primes?

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Well, I added her to mine and it didn't work, so I think she's still paying for hers.

• 38:28Caleb Hammer?

  Log into the same account.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, we could do that.

• 38:34Caleb Hammer?

  What the hell are you guys? What laboratory were you guys invented in? This is insane. This is insane. I am so fucking confused on the way you guys operate. Buddy, I don't even know what the fuck to do. So you guys just got back from the Philippines? How much did you spend there to live like the Kardashians?

• 38:54Speaker 04

  Well, half of what we spent here, so that's great.

• 38:58Caleb Hammer?

  You're just as stupid as them too. Oh, you talk like them, you act like them, you want to be them. The last smart one was the fucking grandpa who defended OJ and he was wrong for that. So what the? How much did you spend?

• 39:13Speaker 04

  That's rich. Like $3,000. Well.

• 39:18Caleb Hammer?

  Are you sure? I don't think you know, because you thought you only spent seven to 10 or whatever.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  The flights?

• 39:25Caleb Hammer?

  Spent 25.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Alone were like $3,000.

• 39:27Caleb Hammer?

  Then you spent more?

• 39:30Speaker 04

  I meant, like, once we were there, like, spending money. $3,000.

• 39:35Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, I feel my veins right now, which means I'm getting stressed. And this is, this is so stupid. I don't know why. It's a credit one card. Great. Credit one card at the top of the fucking deck. Do you know what this means? Do you? How, how many episodes have you watched?

• 39:54Speaker 04

  Uh, credit one is the worst of the worst.

• 39:56Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my gosh, she actually walked away with something.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  I'd watch a show.

• 40:02Caleb Hammer?

  Then why are you being a?

• 40:05Caleb Hammer?

  You're over the credit limit.

• 40:10Caleb Hammer?

  Whose card is this?

• 40:12Speaker 04

  Mine.

• 40:13Caleb Hammer?

  You've, dude, you know this is-

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Okay, let me explain. Can I explain before you start screaming at me?

• 40:19Caleb Hammer?

  There's gonna be an explanation to this?

• 40:21Speaker 04

  Yes, there is an explanation to this. My credit history is really young and this is one of those things that's like, high chance of approval and I thought-

• 40:30Caleb Hammer?

  Hey Jake! When you had a young credit history, did you ever get credit one?

• 40:36Caleb Hammer?

  You did?

• 40:39Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, but you didn't open it? Hey Lindsay, when you had young credit, did you open credit one? No, neither did I. That's interesting. So what the- You're saying this is the only option?

• 40:49Speaker 04

  No, that was before your time. I wouldn't have opened it had I known.

• 40:53Caleb Hammer?

  On your age?

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Well, on YouTube, I mean, this, it was like four, five years ago that it was like, build your credit, so I opened it. Also, it's only a $300 credit limit.

• 41:07Caleb Hammer?

  Good.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  So, yeah, that's great. Could be worse.

• 41:12Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, it could be higher and you would abuse it, that's what-

• 41:15Speaker 04

  Well, we don't know that.

• 41:16Caleb Hammer?

  I do. Look at everything you guys do. What do you mean? We literally know that from your finances.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Not me personally.

• 41:23Caleb Hammer?

  You're purchasing on a credit one card? Okay, you've been watching my show for long enough not to purchase on a credit one card. So what are you possibly doing? Why purchase on this card?

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Because we ran out of cash.

• 41:37Caleb Hammer?

  Then you are purchasing on things you cannot afford. It is as simple as that.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Yes, but like, we paid for everybody in the Philippines.

• 41:45Caleb Hammer?

  Who's everybody?

• 41:46Speaker 04

  My whole family. I told you, all 23 of us.

• 41:49Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, big breeders, okay. That's insane.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Um, okay, not-

• 41:53Caleb Hammer?

  And you paid for all of them?

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Yes, because it's-

• 41:56Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 41:56Speaker 04

  It's what you do when you go home to a third world country. You're the one in America. You're rich, so you go home and pay for everybody's meals and drinks and vacations.

• 42:06Caleb Hammer?

  This doesn't make any sense. You guys were already in a stack of debt and you couldn't be in that situation to pay for all that. It's not even a fucking thing. Normal, I always recommend the fucking Fizz card to everyone on the show. Not you. Not you. Great for everyone out there, not you.

• 42:22Speaker 04

  Why? You don't know that. I could be great.

• 42:24Caleb Hammer?

  I have your finances. I have, I have your finances, lady. I do know that. No, no, the thing I will recommend for you is fucking therapy if you can handle it. Sondra mine, there you go. Free sessions. That's the resource you get. Enough is. Hey you, look at me. My job is to sit right here and be the absolutely stunning figure that I am. And some things I just can't help like my incredible ass, which is why you're all here, of course. But also some things are in my control. For example, the pearly whites. I yap a lot and some would say too much, so I get it. But listen, if I'm gonna yap, my teeth may as well look pretty damn good.

• 43:09Caleb Hammer?

  I drink a lot of coffee to get through these audits and I started noticing some staining on my teeth. So I've partnered with today's sponsor, Aura Glow, and they brought back my confidence for continued yap sessions. The reason I prefer them over competitors is because they actually whiten, but they do it sensitivity free. And that's always been why I can't use these types of products for long due to my sensitive teeth. Seriously, these things are incredible. Make sure to go to Amazon and get the Aura Glow Teeth Whitening Strips or click the link in the description below. So your yap sessions can be just as competent as mine with stunning white teeth. They owe $302 on a $300 limit. So we manage life so well with a $30 minimum monthly payment. Oh, good. You took it up from $55 to over the credit limit.

• 43:54Caleb Hammer?

  That's great. It's for Marshalls.

• 43:57Caleb Hammer?

  It's for Target, Target, Target.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  I needed stuff.

• 44:01Caleb Hammer?

  La Noob, Amazon. There's your annual fees, just the fees that are hitting $177 this year so far, $7 in interest.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  It's only a $300 limit. It's fine.

• 44:14Caleb Hammer?

  Good.

• 44:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, great.

• 44:16Caleb Hammer?

  Why would you spend to it? Pull up your Amazon, pull up your fucking Amazon.

• 44:22Caleb Hammer?

  Let's see what all your relatives are making overseas.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  I don't even know what's on here.

• 44:30Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you are just, you are the mintiest creature I've ever seen.

• 44:34Speaker 04

  Does this smell like mint? I don't have any mint.

• 44:36Caleb Hammer?

  It's attached. It's so, I just gotta delicately touch this thing.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Do you want hand sanitizer?

• 44:41Caleb Hammer?

  I want for you to listen. Well, at least you're seem like halfway nice person when you all of a sudden feel. Is that your wife?

• 44:52Speaker 04

  Who the fuck else would be on my phone?

• 44:55Caleb Hammer?

  One of your other four wives?

• 44:59Speaker 04

  I have two head hat. I have one.

• 45:05Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you leave the man? While I'm pulling this up and getting connected.

• 45:08Speaker 04

  Obviously, cuz I was gay. Hello.

• 45:10Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, were you full gay?

• 45:12Speaker 04

  Yes. Is that even a thing, though?

• 45:15Caleb Hammer?

  Full gay?

• 45:16Speaker 04

  You have to...

• 45:17Caleb Hammer?

  Well, I don't know. You left a dude.

• 45:18Speaker 04

  You have to categorize yourself? It's 2025.

• 45:20Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know. You said you were gay. So you left a dude.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  I did.

• 45:26Caleb Hammer?

  But now you're saying you can't be full gay?

• 45:29Caleb Hammer?

  So you wouldn't leave a dude?

• 45:30Speaker 04

  It was the first thing I've ever been with, ever.

• 45:35Caleb Hammer?

  I know. That thing produced two children.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  Yes, and I'm grateful for it.

• 45:38Caleb Hammer?

  How long were you guys together?

• 45:38Speaker 04

  We were together for four and a half years.

• 45:41Caleb Hammer?

  Take, okay. Did you you did you just tell them that you were gay? And you left?

• 45:48Speaker 04

  Um...

• 45:49Caleb Hammer?

  What do the kids think of the gay? I guess they've been around double gay now for a while, so...

• 45:55Speaker 04

  They think that love is love and they're happy that mom is...

• 45:57Caleb Hammer?

  About you leaving dad?

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Um, well... backstory. I was raised Mormon.

• 46:06Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck?

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Like, like born...

• 46:08Caleb Hammer?

  They're going out to the islands and pushing hard?

• 46:12Speaker 04

  I guess. Like, born into Mormonism. Like, born and raised in the Philippines, and I was Mormon up until I met the kid's dad.

• 46:20Caleb Hammer?

  So he's the one that got to have multiple wives?

• 46:23Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, I was trying to please and appease parents that were super into the church, but I still did it with the wrong person because he was a lot older than me.

• 46:34Caleb Hammer?

  The man? The man, the baby man?

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 46:36Caleb Hammer?

  How old? Well, how old were you?

• 46:38Speaker 04

  I was eighteen.

• 46:40Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Well, an adult, sure. And he was?

• 46:46Speaker 04

  Forties.

• 46:48Caleb Hammer?

  Oh.

• 46:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:50Caleb Hammer?

  Oh. Yeah, that's substantial.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  It was a lot.

• 46:53Caleb Hammer?

  Substantially different.

• 46:55Speaker 04

  Parents were not happy.

• 46:55Caleb Hammer?

  How the fuck did you guys? Your parents, your Mormon parents?

• 46:58Speaker 04

  My Mormon parents.

• 46:58Caleb Hammer?

  So you weren't doing it to appease the church?

• 47:01Speaker 04

  Well, they wanted me to be with a guy, so I was like, okay, here you go, here's a guy.

• 47:04Caleb Hammer?

  What'd you do? You just in what? Streets of Salt Lake?

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Wally was my recruiter.

• 47:10Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 47:10Speaker 04

  He was my recruiter.

• 47:12Caleb Hammer?

  Recruiter for what? The military?

• 47:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:15Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh. How'd this go down?

• 47:19Speaker 04

  Well, I tried to enlist after high school. I got disqualified for medical reasons. And he was my recruiter. So when I got disqualified, I was no longer an applicant and all.

• 47:30Caleb Hammer?

  Did you move? Did he make a move? Or he made a move?

• 47:33Speaker 04

  He made a move. Why the would I make a move on a?

• 47:36Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know. You married him and did two kids.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  Okay, alright. So we're missing a puzzle to this story. I was Mormon and I got kicked out because I tried to come out. Gay. I knew before I was with him.

• 47:48Caleb Hammer?

  Gay people love to sleep with people way older than them. So this is really, this is consistent.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  We're just hitting all the stereotypes today.

• 47:54Caleb Hammer?

  I know. You're matching them. So. Okay, fine. You left them. Good. Why'd you leave the second one?

• 48:02Speaker 04

  Oh, there was infidelity on both ends.

• 48:05Caleb Hammer?

  On both ends? Come on. What are we doing here? Every time?

• 48:11Caleb Hammer?

  I'm not even close to homophobic, but I'm about to say, every time we have lesbians on this show, they all cheat on each other. What is happening?

• 48:18Speaker 04

  I had reasons.

• 48:20Caleb Hammer?

  What was your reason?

• 48:23Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  I was activated and she was in there.

• 48:27Caleb Hammer?

  Were you sleeper cell?

• 48:29Speaker 04

  No, like with the military. Come on.

• 48:32Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

• 48:38Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, keep going. Sorry, sorry.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Activated with the military. So I was gone for a long time. I was on a mission and I needed her support and she couldn't give it to me. So I found it somewhere else.

• 48:50Caleb Hammer?

  That, come on.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  No, not fair.

• 48:54Caleb Hammer?

  I'm confused that why that equals you go fuck someone else, though.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  No, it doesn't. But also, you're supposed to be there for your fucking wife and she wasn't.

• 49:02Caleb Hammer?

  Could she have been?

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Yes, a lot more than she was.

• 49:06Caleb Hammer?

  How? She could have gone. Where were you activated to?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  I was only eight hours away.

• 49:10Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  So she could have made the drive.

• 49:12Caleb Hammer?

  Did you tell her to?

• 49:13Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 49:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, then why didn't you just break off and be done? Don't cheat.

• 49:17Speaker 04

  Well, because she had my kids.

• 49:20Caleb Hammer?

  How many people you cheat on with?

• 49:23Speaker 04

  What?

• 49:23Caleb Hammer?

  How many different pairs were you on?

• 49:25Speaker 04

  Why does that matter?

• 49:27Caleb Hammer?

  Come on.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Yuck. What?

• 49:29Caleb Hammer?

  How many people were you with?

• 49:32Speaker 04

  One.

• 49:34Caleb Hammer?

  So that's a lie.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Okay, literally doesn't matter. It was the principle like. See it from my point of view.

• 49:42Caleb Hammer?

  I'm sure your current wife is gonna love this. Open this, open this. I had your, I got your Amazon pulled up. And then she cheated on you because she learned you cheated on her?

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 49:50Caleb Hammer?

  Were you cheating with women?

• 49:53Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 49:58Caleb Hammer?

  How often were you cheating?

• 50:00Speaker 04

  Okay, what?

• 50:01Caleb Hammer?

  How often were you cheating?

• 50:02Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 50:03Caleb Hammer?

  How often were you cheating?

• 50:04Speaker 04

  What classifies as often? Like, how, how often would I see people?

• 50:08Caleb Hammer?

  Yes.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  To go get drinks and stuff?

• 50:10Caleb Hammer?

  If it's with that intent, yes.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  Not often, what do you mean?

• 50:15Caleb Hammer?

  How often? Come on.

• 50:16Speaker 04

  I was talking to multiple different people.

• 50:18Caleb Hammer?

  Did they know?

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Did they know what?

• 50:20Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh, you're a fucking creature.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Did they know that I was talking to multiple people?

• 50:25Caleb Hammer?

  Yes.

• 50:25Speaker 04

  No.

• 50:28Caleb Hammer?

  I, dude.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  Listen, you don't know until you're out there. You can't.

• 50:32Caleb Hammer?

  Don't know what?

• 50:33Speaker 04

  The loneliness and the camaraderie that you need and.

• 50:36Caleb Hammer?

  Then don't get married.

• 50:37Speaker 04

  The support that you need from people.

• 50:39Caleb Hammer?

  Then don't get married.

• 50:40Speaker 04

  This is why military people get divorced and we have a bad rap.

• 50:43Caleb Hammer?

  Instead of cheating. Yeah, you were the bad rap. After you cheated, I'm like, with like a thousand different chicks.

• 50:49Speaker 04

  She cheated too. Let's not forget that. Two wrongs don't make a right.

• 50:52Caleb Hammer?

  Because you did.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Two wrongs don't make a right.

• 50:53Caleb Hammer?

  Because you did.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  It's still, still not okay.

• 50:55Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's not.

• 50:56Speaker 04

  It wasn't, what I did wasn't okay, and I acknowledge that, but you don't just go fuck up.

• 51:01Caleb Hammer?

  Like lotion, screen protectors, more screen protectors. How many screen protectors do we need?

• 51:06Speaker 04

  We went to the Philippines.

• 51:07Caleb Hammer?

  Where?

• 51:07Speaker 04

  Also got sunburnt really bad.

• 51:09Caleb Hammer?

  Went to the Philippines. That's where everyone gets their screens scratched. Little penis is going around.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Phone screens? I thought you said sunscreen.

• 51:17Caleb Hammer?

  Nope. That might be sunscreen. An iPad case, probably for the iPad kid. Phone case. What is this? Poker or something? Maybe no. That's like CureX or something. Crystal, Deco Brothers, tempered crystal, something. Cubes, water pets, boy with a video game. Nespresso capsules, Nespresso capsules, makeup and face. It's, dude, none of this is like a necessity. There is not a single necessity here.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Oh, it's almost Easter time.

• 51:47Caleb Hammer?

  Shut up. It's almost what?

• 51:49Speaker 04

  It's almost Easter time.

• 51:51Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my God.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  We need, the Easter bunny is coming, so.

• 51:55Caleb Hammer?

  That's for candy. There wasn't candy in here.

• 51:59Speaker 04

  The Easter bunny at our house.

• 52:00Caleb Hammer?

  Do we do different Easters? My Easter was candy.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  The Easter bunny at our house is bougie, so.

• 52:05Caleb Hammer?

  The Easter bunny at your house is in a lot of debt. Their Easter bunny at your house never knows what house to go to because you're with someone different every year.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  Not every year, every like.

• 52:19Caleb Hammer?

  Bunny at your house was probably inside of you while you served.

• 52:25Caleb Hammer?

  It's none of these are necessities. This is crazy. You go crazy on here. You go crazy.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  I did tell you earlier that Amazon is my weakness.

• 52:32Caleb Hammer?

  I know, I know.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  So at least I was forthcoming.

• 52:37Caleb Hammer?

  Imagine the return on your investment if you just put that money in stocks, in MoMo savings account, anything. It'd be just delicious. But instead, you're a moron. Two thou- twenty-eight percent, sorry, not a moron. I shouldn't just be throwing, slinging insults. I can throw jabs, but insults is no point. What are we doing? I just get upset and that's where my brain goes.

• 52:59Caleb Hammer?

  Amazon, oh, great. So it's your Amazon card or hers?

• 53:02Speaker 04

  Mine.

• 53:03Caleb Hammer?

  Okay. Oddly, not even that many purchases, but of course, purchases. Fees! Forty dollars of fees! Ten dollars and thirty-two cents of interest! Thirty-one dollars and forty-two cents of purchases! You're at the credit. Let me what is the fee possibly? What is the fucking fee possibly? What is the fee for?

• 53:25Speaker 04

  Uh, late payment? I don't know.

• 53:27Caleb Hammer?

  Great. Oh, my gosh. So nonsense. You don't give a sh- you don't care.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Of course I care. It's like here.

• 53:32Caleb Hammer?

  I don't, that's why I'm here. Great. I can't tell. I can't get in your brain. You're sassy, then you say you're not. You're defensive, then you say you're not. And it's just like, I don't understand.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  I'm trying to tell you why these things.

• 53:45Caleb Hammer?

  Nice part of your personality. Yet there's an aggressive cheater. Yet there's, I don't understand what you are. I might not know how to get through to you. I can get through on, to most people. I don't know. You're an enigma.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  I'm kind of great, actually.

• 54:02Caleb Hammer?

  I'm sure in other contexts, not this, 379 and 59 cents with a $50 monthly payment. It was a late fee. Why are you late? The one who manages the finances of the house, the good one.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  I forgot.

• 54:19Caleb Hammer?

  How can you forget? Why don't you have a calendar? Why don't you have a budgeting like ours?

• 54:24Speaker 04

  Okay, I do.

• 54:25Caleb Hammer?

  Auto pay.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  I get a wild hair up my ass and I'll just put, I'll make a budget and then.

• 54:29Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 54:32Speaker 04

  I'll get a wild hair up my ass and make a budget.

• 54:36Caleb Hammer?

  Military anymore. Well, yes, you are. Fuck me. So it's gonna continue. Okay. Wrap them up.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 54:44Caleb Hammer?

  Keep going.

• 54:45Speaker 04

  What I'm trying to tell you is, I need you to listen. Are you listening to me?

• 54:48Caleb Hammer?

  Unfortunately.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  This is gonna help you figure me out.

• 54:50Caleb Hammer?

  Unfortunately, I am listening because I have no other choice but to sit here.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  I make a budget, right? And then I don't follow it after like a week.

• 54:59Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  That's why we're here. It'll last maybe two weeks tops.

• 55:05Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 55:06Speaker 04

  And then Amazon calls.

• 55:11Speaker 04

  For me, at least.

• 55:12Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the up. You just have to make your minimum monthly payment is what we're talking about. Just your minimum monthly payment is.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  But doesn't that accrue interest and stuff?

• 55:22Caleb Hammer?

  Yes. And now the balance is higher because of the $40 late fee, so the interest will be more.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  I guess I just forgot.

• 55:29Caleb Hammer?

  Why is it not on auto pay?

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Because sometimes there's no money in the account.

• 55:33Caleb Hammer?

  Then why don't you have a reminder for when it's due at the very latest?

• 55:37Speaker 04

  I do. I get emails.

• 55:39Caleb Hammer?

  You don't check your emails probably because it's 2025.

• 55:45Caleb Hammer?

  And you don't have a job.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  I do have a job.

• 55:48Caleb Hammer?

  Does it come through emails?

• 55:50Speaker 04

  My job? No.

• 55:53Caleb Hammer?

  There you go. So you probably don't check your emails. Set yourself a reminder. Set me a reminder for blah, blah, blah day at this time to remind me to pay Amazon. This is, we live in a world with technology. We live in a world of technology. And again, if your relative is gonna make that phone for you, you may as well use them.

• 56:17Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 56:20Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 56:24Caleb Hammer?

  Great. Stellar conversation.

• 56:28Caleb Hammer?

  Capital One.

• 56:31Caleb Hammer?

  $1,950.49 with a $68 in a monthly payment. This is Capital One. Whose credit card is this?

• 56:40Speaker 04

  Wifey's.

• 56:41Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, wife.

• 56:42Speaker 00

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• 57:12Caleb Hammer?

  These temporary wifey's. $51 of purchases, $49.19 of interest. Oh, good, $50 from the credit limit. Who would have thought? Did you know she was purchasing on this?

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Yes, that's.

• 57:23Caleb Hammer?

  So you know she's purchasing on this one?

• 57:24Speaker 04

  This one.

• 57:25Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, why do you know this one but not the others?

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Because this one was opened when we were already together. This was used, this was opened solely for our wedding. Purposes.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  We had a really nice wedding.

• 57:39Caleb Hammer?

  Of course you did, because you can't compromise on anything.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  Should have been a nice wedding.

• 57:45Caleb Hammer?

  Do I even care to ask?

• 57:47Speaker 04

  Well, yes. Maybe you'll feel bad for me if you do.

• 57:52Caleb Hammer?

  I'll depend, I'll, I'll, I'll judge if it's interesting and I'll cut you off if it sucks.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  We spent $20,000 on our wedding.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  Also.

• 58:05Caleb Hammer?

  Fucking moronic.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  Mostly credit cards and some from her dad.

• 58:12Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, beyond the 20 or he helped with some of the 20?

• 58:15Speaker 04

  Um, within the 20.

• 58:16Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, okay. Good. Good. How much did he help with?

• 58:19Speaker 04

  Like 6,000, like we owe him 6,000.

• 58:21Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, it's a debt to the debt.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  Well, he hasn't tried to collect, so that's really nice.

• 58:26Caleb Hammer?

  But was it agreed upon that it was borrowed?

• 58:29Speaker 04

  It was like a casual, like, you'll pay me back.

• 58:32Caleb Hammer?

  No, huh? What do you mean? No, no, no. Tell me what was agreed.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  There was no agreement. It was a verbal conversation. It was like-

• 58:40Caleb Hammer?

  And what was said?

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Dad, we need help with the wedding. Okay, here you go. I know you'll pay me back.

• 58:47Caleb Hammer?

  Oh.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  I think that's what happened.

• 58:48Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, I mean, why do you do this to yourself? Why did, why did you have to spend so much on this rush wedding anyway?

• 58:56Speaker 04

  It wasn't supposed to be this big and it wa- it just got big.

• 58:59Caleb Hammer?

  You think after your third one, you wouldn't need it to go crazy?

• 59:02Speaker 04

  That's not true because this is the only wedding I had.

• 59:04Caleb Hammer?

  That's not true.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  I got married, but I didn't have a wedding. And this was supposed to be the last one. So I was like, okay, we're gonna-

• 59:12Caleb Hammer?

  It's supposed to be. That's, everyone was supposed to be the last one.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  That's, I didn't, nope. I didn't make those promises in the first one.

• 59:20Caleb Hammer?

  You did when you got married.

• 59:23Speaker 04

  Anyway, we spent that much money on the wedding and we, it was only supposed to be like 10 people and then it grew to 60.

• 59:30Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, but it's, you get to choose that. And I know it's hard, but you get to choose that.

• 59:34Speaker 04

  Well, it was hard and it was mostly, I didn't have my family here. So it was just my mom and dad and siblings. It was her people.

• 59:42Caleb Hammer?

  So 60 people, none of yours?

• 59:44Speaker 04

  Well, some clients and friends. It was supposed to be a family only intimate wedding. If you would just let me fucking finish. And then the guest list just grew to 60. It started as 10, grew to 60. And then we were having our wedding, the venue people, it was in the fields, it's El Paso, Texas. The venue people didn't spray for bugs. So there's irrigation right next to them. So the mosquitoes, it was insane. Like the, the venue was infested with mosquitoes.

• 1:00:14Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm almost finished.

• 1:00:18Speaker 04

  Listen, everybody got bit. It was really bad. Covered with mosquito bites. So we had to take everything inside this tiny old house. And all of our setup that we paid for got left outside. So $20,000 down the drain.

• 1:00:34Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 04

  The dance floor, the setup, the dinner table, the tent, the beautiful lights. All of it outside. So a lot of this is from the wedding.

• 1:00:44Caleb Hammer?

  A lot of what?

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  A lot of the expenditures.

• 1:00:46Caleb Hammer?

  What the fuck are you talking about? Shut up. That is not true. You are still spending on this card when it is at its credit limit.

• 1:00:52Speaker 04

  Yes, but some of the balance is from the wedding.

• 1:00:55Caleb Hammer?

  Sure, but you're still spending on it instead of making progress.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  Okay, wait, here's the best part.

• 1:01:00Caleb Hammer?

  No, what?

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  The best part is because our wedding was a bust. We decided to do it again in the Philippines.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  And it was an absolute success, if you wanted to know.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  And it wasn't as much.

• 1:01:16Caleb Hammer?

  Success in every way, except for your life.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  But I have memories.

• 1:01:22Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, yeah, you also have $413,000 of debt, so. Better be a lot of really good memories. Oh my, I don't even know. What the fuck are we doing? $413,000.

• 1:01:35Speaker 04

  That's not a thing.

• 1:01:36Caleb Hammer?

  It's a...

• 1:01:39Caleb Hammer?

  It is time to cut down your financial stress and gain total financial dominance.

• 1:01:47Caleb Hammer?

  You gotta download my budgeting app today. It's free to start and it's the simplest way to take control of your money. In the free version, you can manually create your budgets, track expenses, and monitor your spending all in one clean intuitive dashboard. And then you can take it a step further. Upgrade to premium to securely link your accounts with Plaid, automatically categorize transactions. And with our new update, you can set custom rules so you never have to re-categorize the same purchase twice. You also get access to our private financial community where you share tips, learn the best practices, and stay inspired. Plus, I'm adding new features like every frickin' week to make this thing even better. And you can test it out with a 14 day free trial, so there's no risks.

• 1:02:30Caleb Hammer?

  And don't forget, when you sign up for the annual version of the premium plan, you'll receive a limited edition signed notebook and my exclusive signed hardcover cookbook, all mailed directly to your door. So make sure you download my budgeting app today. It's in the description and pinned comment below. You will not regret it. It went to H N F S West.

• 1:02:55Caleb Hammer?

  What is that?

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 1:03:02Caleb Hammer?

  Great. So keeping us at the credit limit for something we don't even know.

• 1:03:12Caleb Hammer?

  G E C U. Who's this?

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  Wifey.

• 1:03:18Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, 4,737 with a limit of 5,000, so basically maxed out. And 27 cents with a minimum monthly payment of $95.

• 1:03:33Caleb Hammer?

  Great. Takes how long to pay off? Just minimum monthly payments, no more purchases? Which you guys are typically incapable of. How long does it take to pay off? Just this card, the $4,000 one, not the $14,000 one we talked about at the beginning.

• 1:03:49Speaker 04

  The minimum is 95, probably like 400 years.

• 1:03:53Caleb Hammer?

  Give me a real answer.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  I don't know. 25.

• 1:03:58Caleb Hammer?

  20.

• 1:04:00Speaker 04

  Okay, so I was close. I do know my numbers.

• 1:04:02Caleb Hammer?

  Sure. And 25 is acceptable to you? 20 is acceptable to you?

• 1:04:05Speaker 04

  Obviously not.

• 1:04:06Caleb Hammer?

  And why are you guys still spending on all the cards and keeping them all at their limits? There is not a single card we've not looked at that are not basically at the limit. And one was over. And one was late.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  We have to do stuff.

• 1:04:24Caleb Hammer?

  There wasn't, there hasn't been one necessity yet.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, we have to do stuff. We want-

• 1:04:29Caleb Hammer?

  No, there hasn't been one necessity-

• 1:04:30Speaker 04

  Okay, we want to do stuff.

• 1:04:31Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, do you want to get out of debt? Or do you want to do stuff?

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  Eventually. But can I do both? Can I get out of debt and like still live my best life? Together with her and the kids?

• 1:04:40Caleb Hammer?

  Probably not.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  See, and that's not, why is that okay? It's not acceptable.

• 1:04:47Caleb Hammer?

  Who are you gonna complain to and have that change?

• 1:04:50Speaker 04

  I just don't-

• 1:04:51Caleb Hammer?

  This is the system, you're in the system-

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  We were not put on this earth to just fucking be ran by bills, bro.

• 1:04:57Caleb Hammer?

  Well, congratulations. You made the choices that got you in them, though. And so did she, and so did she, and you guys continue to make the choices that get you in there. On this earth, we're not on this earth for any purpose. We're fucking born and we die. Like, fuck you, you're making the choices you make along the way.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  That's really morbid.

• 1:05:17Caleb Hammer?

  But that's also just how the biology works. You're born, you die, and you live. You're making the choices along the way.

• 1:05:24Speaker 04

  I disagree.

• 1:05:25Caleb Hammer?

  What do you mean?

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  You don't just die.

• 1:05:29Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, you're talking like afterlife thing?

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  Granted, all this stuff-

• 1:05:31Caleb Hammer?

  That's something different. I'm just talking about the life on this earth. You know, we can believe whatever you want to believe outside of that-

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  Right before you die, you only get one chance at this, so why not just go-

• 1:05:39Caleb Hammer?

  Exactly, but your chance is gonna be endlessly stressed, endlessly struggling-

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  But okay, you're self contradicting-

• 1:05:45Caleb Hammer?

  Not being able to provide for your kids.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Because earlier you were just, you were telling me, I'm telling you that this, all this doesn't matter, because you just, you just live and die. So then, what the, it's fine. Bills get paid, if they don't get paid, you die anyway, right?

• 1:05:59Caleb Hammer?

  At the end, but do you want the next, hopefully, fifty years or so, to be an endless struggle and you not being able to take care of your kids or leave a legacy?

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  Parts of the world as I go along, why not?

• 1:06:11Caleb Hammer?

  But at some point, you won't be able to, because you won't have the credit to do so, and that's the only way you'll be able to afford it.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  I have that credit, Caleb, and I've been fine for thirty years.

• 1:06:21Caleb Hammer?

  You guys do together, and that's how you're getting there. That's who you guys are getting there now. And the kids matter, too. You choosing to see in the world over them is being a selfish bitch.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  That's a reach, because they get to see the world-

• 1:06:36Caleb Hammer?

  No, it's not.

• 1:06:36Speaker 04

  Yes, and they get to have these memories with us. They get to talk about being stung by jellyfishes in the Philippines.

• 1:06:42Caleb Hammer?

  They can get stung by the jellyfishes in Galveston.

• 1:06:45Speaker 04

  Ew. Have you been to the Philippines?

• 1:06:47Caleb Hammer?

  Ew. To the Philippines? No, but there's jellyfish everywhere.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  Yes, but it's a lot more worth it.

• 1:06:52Caleb Hammer?

  They also have a long time to get jellyfish. You're making it so that if they want to go to college, you can't support them. They're making it so.

• 1:06:59Speaker 04

  Not true. There's fine going to college with my military benefits.

• 1:07:04Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, yes, you got that part.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  Go US Army.

• 1:07:09Caleb Hammer?

  Sure, yeah, woo woo, but.

• 1:07:12Speaker 04

  It's a while, but.

• 1:07:17Caleb Hammer?

  They might have to downgrade housing situations. They're gonna see their mom endlessly fight with their other mom. Because, yes, because that's one of the leading causes for divorce in this country.

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  No, it's not gonna get there because I'm here. You're gonna help.

• 1:07:33Caleb Hammer?

  That's not how this works. It's one of the leading.

• 1:07:35Speaker 04

  Isn't that what this show's for?

• 1:07:36Caleb Hammer?

  Shut the fuck up. It's one of the leading causes for the divorce in this country and you're in one of the leading relationships for divorce in this country. The odds are not second in your favor, so you need to do everything possible to maintain this. And it's for the sake of the kids, because they're gonna endlessly see their mom hopping to hopping to hopping to hop. And then you're gonna have nothing and then they're gonna have to put their life on hold at some point.

• 1:07:56Speaker 04

  I would never allow that.

• 1:07:57Caleb Hammer?

  It doesn't matter. It's not about allow. It's not about allow. But if you are struggling later in life because you never prepared at all, who knows what it's gonna be look like? That military disability might actually get fucking looked at at some point after this show.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  Imagine my babes having a mom that's like, no, we can't go there. I know we can't go there because we can't afford it and we can't afford it.

• 1:08:15Caleb Hammer?

  Responsible mom.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:08:18Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, you're also teaching them horrible, horrible lessons.

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  That's not true, because it's gonna, when they grow up, they're gonna be like, oh, when I was a kid, my mom took us here. It was pretty great. When I was a kid, we went here.

• 1:08:28Caleb Hammer?

  Learn about sacrifice, though. They don't learn about the hard choices that you.

• 1:08:32Speaker 04

  I do it in a balanced manner.

• 1:08:34Caleb Hammer?

  No, you don't. You go way overboard.

• 1:08:37Speaker 04

  No, we stopped doing birthday parties. We just go places now.

• 1:08:42Caleb Hammer?

  But even still, you don't need to have an extravagant birthday party if you can't afford it. Like, that's just life. And I'm sorry, but life is life. We're not fucking promised anything.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  We're not.

• 1:08:52Caleb Hammer?

  Again, so that's right. This is the system that exists. And this system has gotten us, luckily, even though there are struggles, the system has gotten us to, it is better to be a human in our lifetime than any other human existence in lifetime that has existed before us. Okay? Because of the technology, because of the enjoyments in life, because of the lifespan, because of the medical, because of a lot of things. There is lower poverty in the world than there's ever been. And that's because of the system that we're in. And that system that we're in has some things that suck. But this suck that you're in has all been your choice, has all been your wife's choice. So it's not like even this was a put upon you.

• 1:09:34Speaker 04

  I never said it was.

• 1:09:38Caleb Hammer?

  You complained about how we're not born to go through all this. You chose to do this.

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  I did choose to do this so that my life here isn't wasted.

• 1:09:48Caleb Hammer?

  Instead, you'll just be wasting your kid's future because you won't have anything prepared for you. So they're gonna sacrifice when they're trying to take care of their own life to take care of their selfish mom.

• 1:10:00Caleb Hammer?

  That's what's going to happen.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  I disagree.

• 1:10:03Caleb Hammer?

  You disagree? Great. Okay, that solves the issue. I, I, I don't, I don't know.

• 1:10:15Caleb Hammer?

  And they told me you're going all out for your kid's birthday anyway, so that's just a lie. They say you're throwing this extravagant party.

• 1:10:22Speaker 04

  It's because she's turning 10.

• 1:10:23Caleb Hammer?

  You're just a liar.

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  She's turning 10. It's not extravagant. She wants a murder mystery birthday party.

• 1:10:30Caleb Hammer?

  It's extravagant!

• 1:10:33Caleb Hammer?

  It's extravagant!

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  That doesn't constitute as extravagant.

• 1:10:38Caleb Hammer?

  How much is it gonna cost?

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  I don't know, probably like a thousand.

• 1:10:41Caleb Hammer?

  Do you have the money?

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  I will!

• 1:10:43Caleb Hammer?

  No, you spend more than you make. Will you have the money?

• 1:10:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:49Caleb Hammer?

  This is the most obnoxious. You're the most obnoxious person I've met in a very long time.

• 1:10:55Speaker 04

  No, I'm pretty sure it's you, cuz you're the only one yelling in this room.

• 1:10:57Caleb Hammer?

  Oh my fuck. But it's because of you. It's because of you. And you've seen the show. What, does this surprise you now that you're in person now?

• 1:11:08Speaker 04

  I just thought you were a big-

• 1:11:09Caleb Hammer?

  How'd you even find your way to the studio from the airport? I'm surprised you're capable of doing that.

• 1:11:13Speaker 04

  Cuz I'm Asian and it's genetic for me to be smart.

• 1:11:16Caleb Hammer?

  Then I think you'd be able to do math if you're really pulling that card.

• 1:11:20Speaker 04

  I do! Well, that's, I didn't get that gene.

• 1:11:22Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:27Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, is this, this is another Capital One, I guess? Man, I'm getting lost here cuz there's just so much.

• 1:11:35Caleb Hammer?

  This is fucking ridiculous. Two hundred twenty-four dollars and eighty-four cents, not even the cra- but of course, the limit's only three hundred. Great, it's yours?

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you get the micro dick ones.

• 1:11:46Speaker 04

  How did you know?

• 1:11:47Caleb Hammer?

  The genes. So with that, you're getting fees again because it's your card.

• 1:11:57Caleb Hammer?

  So of course, we're getting late fees. And then there's this six dollar and ninety cent interest.

• 1:12:05Caleb Hammer?

  Congratulations, you suck. And everything involving money.

• 1:12:10Speaker 04

  I'll pay it off, it's low.

• 1:12:12Caleb Hammer?

  The other one's low too. The other ones you have are low and then you don't and then they're late.

• 1:12:15Speaker 04

  Okay, so I'll pay my own stuff.

• 1:12:17Speaker 00

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• 1:12:46Caleb Hammer?

  Always late, you're always late!

• 1:12:49Speaker 04

  Not always!

• 1:12:51Caleb Hammer?

  You've, we've, out of here, you've had three that were yours, right? Three?

• 1:12:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:57Caleb Hammer?

  Two have had late fees.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  I forget.

• 1:13:06Speaker 04

  I'm really smart.

• 1:13:07Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know how you survive. I really.

• 1:13:08Speaker 04

  Well, I've done a pretty good job. I'm thirty.

• 1:13:10Caleb Hammer?

  No, you're not. This is not a good job. Listen, people have probably told you that throughout life to be nice, but no, you have not done a good job. You have not. You're actually closer to being a legitimate failure in life than being successful, much closer. And I need some, I need to tell you that because no one has.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  Uh, uh, uh, compared to whose standards? Yours? Compared to yours?

• 1:13:34Caleb Hammer?

  Dude, compared to even the people in the worst positions, other than like drug addicts and murderers and you're basically the wor- No, it's really not.

• 1:13:42Speaker 04

  Yes, it is. I have a roof over my head. There's food on the table.

• 1:13:45Caleb Hammer?

  For now. I don't think that's gonna happen for very long.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  Well.

• 1:13:49Caleb Hammer?

  You're pushing yourself to the limit.

• 1:13:55Caleb Hammer?

  All that you just said is a for now activity.

• 1:14:00Caleb Hammer?

  None of that is guaranteed.

• 1:14:03Caleb Hammer?

  And I'm sure you're gonna claim disability after military, aren't you?

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  Already, babe.

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  I'm getting it already.

• 1:14:14Caleb Hammer?

  I feel like this show may have exposed something.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:14:20Caleb Hammer?

  In the system.

• 1:14:22Caleb Hammer?

  Based on all the episodes we've had.

• 1:14:28Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, I pay a lot of taxes for that.

• 1:14:33Speaker 04

  Okay. I got hit by a car in uniform.

• 1:14:38Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 1:14:39Speaker 04

  Because they weren't fucking doing their jobs properly and I was on a wheelchair.

• 1:14:43Caleb Hammer?

  Are you sure it wasn't because you were lost in the street?

• 1:14:47Speaker 04

  I was doing my job.

• 1:14:51Caleb Hammer?

  There's a past due fee on here.

• 1:14:53Speaker 04

  We're not talking about that anymore.

• 1:14:55Caleb Hammer?

  I am. I'm getting us back to the money.

• 1:15:00Caleb Hammer?

  Thirty percent interest rate, can't pay the payment, interest is accruing. It's the second pass due fee this year so far, and we're just over a quarter of the year in. And you're a mom? Good luck to your kids.

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  Don't question my mothering skills.

• 1:15:16Caleb Hammer?

  I am questioning your mothering skills.

• 1:15:18Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:15:19Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, you're prioritizing you and being selfish.

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  That's not true. I'm a really good mom.

• 1:15:24Caleb Hammer?

  Them getting nice little knickknacks and is not the act of good parenting.

• 1:15:29Speaker 04

  It's stuff that they need.

• 1:15:33Caleb Hammer?

  Not teaching them any responsibility, any discipline.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  I do.

• 1:15:36Caleb Hammer?

  Anything that is gonna make them be able to survive once they leave the house. They're gonna be so fucking lost. They're gonna get hit by a car too.

• 1:15:45Speaker 04

  And shove it right up your hairy mouth. That's fucked up.

• 1:15:50Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  You don't say that about kids.

• 1:15:54Caleb Hammer?

  I'm basing it off of how you've raised them.

• 1:15:57Speaker 04

  You're probably not gonna have any for saying that.

• 1:16:00Caleb Hammer?

  Have any kids?

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:02Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know. There's a lot of life left. We'll see.

• 1:16:06Speaker 04

  I don't know. You can die tomorrow.

• 1:16:07Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, then I wouldn't have kids.

• 1:16:11Caleb Hammer?

  Well, that meant nothing. I feel like you felt like you just dropped a mic there.

• 1:16:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, because you're getting upset about all this stuff. You want kids and then you're just wishing kids to get hit by a car.

• 1:16:22Caleb Hammer?

  What? That's not what I said.

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  Literally, you just did. You were like, they're probably gonna get hit by a car too.

• 1:16:28Caleb Hammer?

  Because you didn't teach them how to operate in this world. Your entire motherhood was focused around making sure they saw a jellyfish in the Philippines.

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  No, I have happy kids.

• 1:16:37Caleb Hammer?

  Yes, exactly, but not smart ones because you haven't taught-

• 1:16:40Speaker 04

  My kids are very smart.

• 1:16:42Caleb Hammer?

  You haven't taught them anything in life.

• 1:16:44Speaker 04

  I have.

• 1:16:45Caleb Hammer?

  Listen, when they need it, I'll gift them course career certifications.

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  I'm not a yes baby all the time. They don't get everything that they want.

• 1:16:51Caleb Hammer?

  I highly doubt that.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  They don't get everything they want. If we have it, we have it. If we don't, we don't.

• 1:16:57Caleb Hammer?

  The getting hit by a car was a callback to you getting hit by a car. And one of them also probably the car wasn't able to see above their dash. So, I mean, that's mostly it. It's the art of-

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  That's not what happened, and it was actually very dramatic. I was in a wheelchair for a year.

• 1:17:11Caleb Hammer?

  I wasn't talking about you. The kids. For fuck's sake, follow along, lady.

• 1:17:17Speaker 04

  You just said that my son's gonna get hit by a car because they can't see over their dash?

• 1:17:23Caleb Hammer?

  I said be

• 1:17:27Caleb Hammer?

  Do not understand what I said.

• 1:17:28Speaker 04

  What is happening?

• 1:17:29Caleb Hammer?

  That's what I am asking. Listen, I'm I'm close to I'm close to

• 1:17:36Caleb Hammer?

  I'm close to just been calling it and I hate that because I've called it in a few episodes recently and I really don't like that. I really don't like that. I want to get through. I want to get through. There's so much left here and you are incapable of comprehension and having a conversation.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  You haven't actually said anything of.

• 1:17:55Caleb Hammer?

  I've recommended at least what to cut back on and how to at least manage your finances. Yeah, I totally believe that. I'm believing it so much right now. Can't even believe how much I'm believing it.

• 1:18:09Caleb Hammer?

  Because on oh, Navist Records. Navyist Records. Okay. Rewards. Sorry. Texas small. What? Who's yours or hers? Who's in the Navy? You're in the Navy? I thought you were in the Army.

• 1:18:23Speaker 04

  Okay, that's. Are you okay?

• 1:18:26Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 1:18:26Speaker 04

  That's. So like you're good with numbers and can't read? It doesn't have anything to do with service.

• 1:18:32Caleb Hammer?

  It says Navyist Rewards. I thought this was a special Navy card.

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  Old Navy card.

• 1:18:41Caleb Hammer?

  That makes sense.

• 1:18:45Caleb Hammer?

  Says on Navy. So I was. Yeah.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  Makes sense.

• 1:18:50Caleb Hammer?

  I was gonna say you're the wrong kind of gay for the Navy. So. Listen, we have $401 on here. Who's this? Is this yours?

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  I just said it's mine.

• 1:19:00Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, you're going to Old Navy. Great.

• 1:19:04Caleb Hammer?

  $500 is the total line. You have 401. Fees 41. Am I again with you and your fucking fees? Dude, I can't. I don't. You're never gonna get out of this. You can't even just pay a minimum monthly payment.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  They're only late for like three days and then I get fined.

• 1:19:28Speaker 04

  Okay, it's hard because my personal income is on a daily basis. I don't get like weekly, bi-weekly stuff. I make money every day.

• 1:19:37Caleb Hammer?

  No payment for these six dollars and 24 cents. Sixteen months to pay off. Purchases, no, I don't think so. But there's interest and there's fees because you can't manage a single thing in your life. There it is, fees. Interest, it's all charged on second page. Woo, yippee.

• 1:20:00Caleb Hammer?

  We'll see what they can do.

• 1:20:05Caleb Hammer?

  Next card, USA.

• 1:20:08Caleb Hammer?

  I'm done.

• 1:20:11Caleb Hammer?

  This isn't, I just, oh my, this takes 17 years to pay off. This is insane. Says hers or yours?

• 1:20:18Speaker 04

  Hers.

• 1:20:19Caleb Hammer?

  Two thousand, oh, this is at least interest free. Two thousand three hundred ninety-six dollars and nine cents. The minimum monthly payment

• 1:20:31Caleb Hammer?

  of, well, I don't know. I'm gonna say a hundred. So that's what was paid last time. Nothing's paid now because it was paid. Um, but it's a zero percent for now. Maybe no minimum payment is even owed on it. And they just want you to go to the interest free period and close it out.

• 1:20:48Caleb Hammer?

  I don't see when it's done. What's up with this card? Do you know anything?

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  It's my wife's. It existed before me, so I don't know.

• 1:20:57Caleb Hammer?

  So we did not talk about that card?

• 1:20:58Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:21:01Caleb Hammer?

  Right. Okay, Premier Bank card, what about this?

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  That's mine.

• 1:21:07Caleb Hammer?

  Tell me.

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  Um, that was opened along with Credit One. Also, high chance of approval? That's, okay, that's the highest limit I have.

• 1:21:19Caleb Hammer?

  Four hundred?

• 1:21:20Speaker 04

  Five.

• 1:21:20Caleb Hammer?

  Four hundred?

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  Five.

• 1:21:22Caleb Hammer?

  Four hundred?

• 1:21:23Speaker 04

  Five.

• 1:21:24Caleb Hammer?

  Four hundred! Shut the fuck up, it's literally four hundred. Stop being a moron!

• 1:21:30Speaker 04

  It's five on the app.

• 1:21:32Caleb Hammer?

  They probably lowered it. Because you suck!

• 1:21:38Caleb Hammer?

  Because there's a fee, you fuck! That's probably why.

• 1:21:43Caleb Hammer?

  Oh! You purchased $479.48.

• 1:21:48Speaker 04

  Because the limit is $500.

• 1:21:50Caleb Hammer?

  $393.82, minimum monthly fee, but $30. Fucking dollars. That's what. Oh, fuck, I'm done with you. I don't know how you've survived this long.

• 1:22:03Speaker 04

  I don't know what you're yelling at me. That's like...

• 1:22:05Caleb Hammer?

  Probably because you're only ever with someone since 18.

• 1:22:08Speaker 04

  This is the highest debt that I have. That's not true.

• 1:22:12Caleb Hammer?

  It's your attitude. It's your fucking attitude. Good, be offended. I don't give a fuck. You're offended means nothing. Amazon, Etsy, Amazon, monthly fee, bull, bull. Holiday Inn, bull. Appletons, maybe. Afterpay, Afterpay, Afterpay. You're fucking paying your Afterpay on a fucking credit card. That is accruing fees and accruing interest. You're paying debt with debt. You're paying debt with debt.

• 1:22:39Speaker 04

  It's supposed to build my credit.

• 1:22:41Caleb Hammer?

  Good luck to this household. Good luck to this fucking household. Sake, man.

• 1:22:49Caleb Hammer?

  Ah, good luck. Good luck. It's through my pen. Need another pen.

• 1:22:57Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, Sephora. Who's the Sephora?

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  You saw my wife. Do you think it's her?

• 1:23:04Caleb Hammer?

  No, I did think it was a man. That is true. Okay, we are at... Pass, $237!

• 1:23:14Caleb Hammer?

  Sake, how? What? It's because you've only ever been with someone. You never had a moment of...

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  That's not true!

• 1:23:21Caleb Hammer?

  I might require a diagnostics of child, and you might need to get divorced. And just go live on your own. To learn some fucking independence.

• 1:23:34Speaker 04

  I have.

• 1:23:35Caleb Hammer?

  You living on a military base doesn't count.

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  I did not live in a military base. I owned my own house. I bought a house.

• 1:23:41Caleb Hammer?

  What, when you were deployed and getting daddled?

• 1:23:43Speaker 04

  No, after my divorce.

• 1:23:45Caleb Hammer?

  What, which one?

• 1:23:47Speaker 04

  The second one. Brood.

• 1:23:49Caleb Hammer?

  What do you mean? I wouldn't know. How would I fucking know?

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  I lived in a house by myself, and I raised my kids on my own.

• 1:23:56Caleb Hammer?

  For how long?

• 1:23:57Speaker 04

  Paid my mortgage, like, six months.

• 1:23:59Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, you've never been in... You're fucking... You've never been independent.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  It's better than you. You've not been married, and you're my age, so...

• 1:24:08Caleb Hammer?

  When, when, when are we supposed to get married?

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  I don't know. It's probably because you're just pissed off all this.

• 1:24:13Caleb Hammer?

  No, when are we supposed to get married?

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  You should at least.

• 1:24:18Speaker 04

  Do you not get laid? Is that what it is?

• 1:24:20Caleb Hammer?

  I do pretty okay.

• 1:24:22Speaker 04

  All good for you.

• 1:24:25Caleb Hammer?

  I'm at the median air, uh, marriage age.

• 1:24:27Speaker 04

  You literally just looked it up?

• 1:24:29Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, cuz, cuz you pulled out something.

• 1:24:31Speaker 04

  Does it make you feel better?

• 1:24:33Caleb Hammer?

  Well, I like to know facts. So I can live in the real world.

• 1:24:37Speaker 04

  Caleb.

• 1:24:37Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, you're right. Usually the median first age for marriage is 30. So instead you did it three times by then.

• 1:24:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:44Caleb Hammer?

  And pumped out kids with people you didn't even like. Yeah, good job.

• 1:24:49Speaker 04

  They made my life better, so.

• 1:24:51Caleb Hammer?

  Getting, everyone look to this one. Moral superiority princess. Here she is. This is who you guys want to be.

• 1:25:02Caleb Hammer?

  Sephora. So you can be the femme one. Sure. I got you.

• 1:25:07Speaker 04

  I really hate these categories. These labels. Is that a thing here?

• 1:25:11Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:25:12Speaker 04

  Is that a thing for you? Like you have to label everybody?

• 1:25:14Caleb Hammer?

  You seen this show? It's all I do.

• 1:25:19Caleb Hammer?

  It's all I do is make little jabs. That money, that money. That money McDonald's.

• 1:25:26Speaker 04

  You've done well for yourself. Well.

• 1:25:29Caleb Hammer?

  Uh, that's you do. It's so, it's so stupid. As what concerns me is again, you do have a kid. If this was just you. But you have a spouse, you have a kid, and they're all getting pulled into this bull. $201.43. The minimum monthly payment of $48. Tap in your fingers. Are you bored? You bored? You're not getting anything? No, because you won't be receptive for a single fucking thing.

• 1:25:54Caleb Hammer?

  Are you training for her later? I don't know. $201.43. That's the same amount. No, you went per. Okay, I'm really glad, uh, you made your purchases without even making a fucking payment. Well done. 37 hours. The fees, $4.20.

• 1:26:10Speaker 04

  That's for the wedding, by the way.

• 1:26:12Caleb Hammer?

  What, the purchases?

• 1:26:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Caleb Hammer?

  When did you get married?

• 1:26:15Speaker 04

  In August.

• 1:26:16Caleb Hammer?

  This isn't a statement from August, you dumb tit.

• 1:26:22Speaker 04

  Well, I'm saying I opened it in August.

• 1:26:24Caleb Hammer?

  Congratulations. I don't give a

• 1:26:25Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 1:26:26Caleb Hammer?

  No payment and your purchases were last month, not in August.

• 1:26:33Caleb Hammer?

  Late fee and then purchasing Sephora.

• 1:26:38Caleb Hammer?

  Really trying to hide your age there. I can tell.

• 1:26:42Speaker 04

  You need some.

• 1:26:45Speaker 04

  You're stressed too much.

• 1:26:46Caleb Hammer?

  Bet I got a better skincare routine.

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  You stress too much.

• 1:26:50Caleb Hammer?

  I am stressed and it's for you. It's for your kid. And extra stress in this episode because you're not receptive and you're kind of a little. So it's, yes, the C word. We all use it.

• 1:27:03Speaker 04

  I'm just returning your energy, so.

• 1:27:07Caleb Hammer?

  I didn't get upset until you started not being receptive to anything.

• 1:27:12Speaker 04

  I'll be receptive if you have substance.

• 1:27:14Caleb Hammer?

  We haven't been through your finances yet to end anywhere.

• 1:27:18Speaker 04

  Okay, carry on.

• 1:27:18Caleb Hammer?

  In fact, I think I'm only halfway through.

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  Carry on.

• 1:27:24Caleb Hammer?

  Thirty-two percent interest.

• 1:27:28Caleb Hammer?

  Mattress firm, her or you?

• 1:27:30Speaker 04

  Her.

• 1:27:32Caleb Hammer?

  Great.

• 1:27:35Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you pick the butch one? Why'd you choose that?

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, what?

• 1:27:41Caleb Hammer?

  Why'd you pick the butch one?

• 1:27:45Caleb Hammer?

  Well, ma-

• 1:27:45Speaker 00

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• 1:28:15Caleb Hammer?

  You pick her.

• 1:28:16Speaker 04

  What do you mean? She's great.

• 1:28:19Caleb Hammer?

  Where'd you guys meet?

• 1:28:20Speaker 04

  In the military.

• 1:28:21Caleb Hammer?

  Oh.

• 1:28:23Speaker 04

  We're in the same unit.

• 1:28:24Caleb Hammer?

  Huh?

• 1:28:25Speaker 04

  We're in the same unit.

• 1:28:27Caleb Hammer?

  Are you able to be in the military without fucking other people in the military?

• 1:28:31Speaker 04

  I'm technically never in the military.

• 1:28:35Speaker 04

  I show up like three days a month, so I don't know what the that's supposed to mean.

• 1:28:41Caleb Hammer?

  Thank goodness you get disability for the rest of your life.

• 1:28:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:45Caleb Hammer?

  One hundred twenty three dollars is your minimum monthly payment.

• 1:28:53Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so this better be a really comfy night's sleep that you guys get, yeah?

• 1:28:58Speaker 04

  That wasn't bought with me.

• 1:29:01Speaker 04

  That was bought with her ex-wife.

• 1:29:02Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, for fuck's sake.

• 1:29:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:04Caleb Hammer?

  Well, who has it?

• 1:29:05Speaker 04

  We do. Hate it.

• 1:29:07Caleb Hammer?

  You have it?

• 1:29:08Speaker 04

  We have it. I sleep on it every fucking night.

• 1:29:10Caleb Hammer?

  You hate it?

• 1:29:11Speaker 04

  Hate it.

• 1:29:11Caleb Hammer?

  Why?

• 1:29:12Speaker 04

  Because it wasn't bought with me.

• 1:29:13Caleb Hammer?

  Who cares if it's comfy or not?

• 1:29:16Speaker 04

  Previous stains that I'm sleeping on.

• 1:29:18Caleb Hammer?

  Are there?

• 1:29:20Caleb Hammer?

  You don't look?

• 1:29:21Speaker 04

  It's you don't spend eight thousand dollars on a mattress. This is the shit I'm saying. Like, okay, yeah, my spending a cruise, but it's like eighty dollars, two hundred dollars there, but who buys an eight thousand dollar mattress?

• 1:29:32Caleb Hammer?

  They did.

• 1:29:33Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:29:33Caleb Hammer?

  It's a zero percent interest.

• 1:29:34Speaker 04

  Could never.

• 1:29:36Caleb Hammer?

  Well, you wouldn't be qualified, yeah.

• 1:29:38Speaker 04

  Yes, but even if we were together and she had, there's been instances where she's tried to make real ridiculous purchases like that, and I say no because it's

• 1:29:47Caleb Hammer?

  She listens?

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  Not justifiable half the time.

• 1:29:50Caleb Hammer?

  Well, what the fuck are we gonna, how are we gonna make it to the end then?

• 1:29:55Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so with the sleep on the ex's mattress, well, good. I'd rather you have the asset than not. Is it comfortable?

• 1:30:02Speaker 04

  It's fine.

• 1:30:04Caleb Hammer?

  Okay.

• 1:30:04Speaker 04

  I wouldn't have paid that much for it.

• 1:30:06Caleb Hammer?

  Probably not. Mattresses are overpriced, but you get better deals online typically. I mean, she went into a mattress firm. That's when you know it's bad. And you deal with a salesperson at mattress firm.

• 1:30:18Speaker 04

  She's so great.

• 1:30:20Caleb Hammer?

  Which one?

• 1:30:21Speaker 04

  My wife.

• 1:30:23Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so we're already feeling weird about our current wife.

• 1:30:28Speaker 04

  No, it's not weird. It's just hard to tell her no.

• 1:30:32Caleb Hammer?

  So well.

• 1:30:32Speaker 04

  Sometimes.

• 1:30:33Caleb Hammer?

  This is gonna go so well. This whole existence you guys have together is gonna go so well. All right, what do we have here? G E C U.

• 1:30:45Caleb Hammer?

  16.85% balance 14,622. What is this? Please tell me this is like a car or something.

• 1:30:52Speaker 04

  It's a loan.

• 1:30:54Caleb Hammer?

  It's just a loan, just a loan?

• 1:30:55Speaker 04

  The consolidation loan.

• 1:30:57Caleb Hammer?

  For who?

• 1:30:58Speaker 04

  For her.

• 1:30:58Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, my gosh. She's, she needs, she needs to be here. She needs to be here.

• 1:31:03Speaker 04

  Hey, well, tell the president that.

• 1:31:05Caleb Hammer?

  What is he making her do? I don't know.

• 1:31:07Speaker 04

  Well, she works for him, so she can just up and leave.

• 1:31:11Caleb Hammer?

  Did they have to get the travel? She's not deployed, right?

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  She's not deployed. She just can't leave. She's on mission.

• 1:31:18Caleb Hammer?

  Oh, she's on mission?

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:20Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, fine. Okay, personal loan? $14,622.60. 16.85% interest. This is so fucking crazy, man. What's even the minimum monthly payment?

• 1:31:43Speaker 04

  Like 408.

• 1:31:45Caleb Hammer?

  Yeah, it's 402.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  Okay, I was close. Relax.

• 1:31:51Caleb Hammer?

  I'm basically done with you. I'm in 62 cents. This pen sucks.

• 1:32:02Speaker 04

  We took it out to pay off her credit cards.

• 1:32:07Caleb Hammer?

  We?

• 1:32:08Speaker 04

  Well, I had a hand in the decision. It was my idea, and I thought it was a great idea. Had we not kept the same behavior, but we did. And also, we spent like $2,000 on Christmas. We hosted. It was our first married Christmas together.

• 1:32:30Caleb Hammer?

  Andrew last? Okay, that doesn't mean anything. Who cares?

• 1:32:34Speaker 04

  Well, it means something if it's the last.

• 1:32:39Caleb Hammer?

  I don't know, man. I've honestly just given up here. I mean, I don't. This is, this is fucking crazy. You're kind of crazy.

• 1:32:51Speaker 04

  You just now figure that out?

• 1:32:53Caleb Hammer?

  No. No. I just unfortunately have to sit here.

• 1:33:04Caleb Hammer?

  What?

• 1:33:05Speaker 04

  Are you having a great time?

• 1:33:06Caleb Hammer?

  No!

• 1:33:07Speaker 04

  I'm having a great time.

• 1:33:09Caleb Hammer?

  Okay, so you're bull****ing this. So you actually don't give a-

• 1:33:12Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm waiting for you to give me substance!

• 1:33:15Caleb Hammer?

  You don't give a single f- You don't give a single f- You don't care. So shut the f up. Okay? If you don't give a sh- I'm not spending time with you. If you don't give a sh- I'm not spending time with you. Okay? I've been done. I'm over this bull- You, honestly, kind of a- You, honestly, not receptive. You can't hold down one person. You are not teaching good life skills to your kids. You are gonna be financially f-

• 1:34:00Caleb Hammer?

  For the rest of your life. And I'm done. And the fact that you're just enjoying this, oh, great. I don't give a f- Go be in poverty. If that's where you're gonna end up, that's your choice. I wanted to do a wake-up call. I wanted to give you recommendations.

• 1:34:17Speaker 04

  You're not doing any of that. You've just been screaming for the last sixty minutes in here.

• 1:34:22Caleb Hammer?

  I wanted to try to something. You're not receptive. You're done.

• 1:34:25Speaker 04

  How mu- what am I supposed to receive? You're not even giving me anything.

• 1:34:28Caleb Hammer?

  You wouldn't let me get there. And I told you things you shouldn't be spending on, and you wouldn't-

• 1:34:33Speaker 04

  Well, I would!

• 1:34:34Caleb Hammer?

  You wouldn't f-ing listen. You wouldn't listen. You wouldn't f-ing listen. I'm gonna do a lap.

• 1:34:41Speaker 04

  Literally?

• 1:34:42Caleb Hammer?

  I'm gonna do a f-ing lap. I'm gonna go get a drink-

• 1:34:45Speaker 04

  All I've been doing is listen. So...

• 1:34:58Caleb Hammer?

  You're gonna go?

• 1:35:04Caleb Hammer?

  I don't like you. We don't necessarily host the best of the best in civilization.

• 1:35:09Speaker 04

  I know you're not [bleep] looking at me.

• 1:35:10Caleb Hammer?

  We're behind a paywall now. Can you tell us how many people you were with while you were married?

• 1:35:15Caleb Hammer?

  How many?

• 1:35:17Speaker 04

  Okay, seriously, it could be worse.

• 1:35:19Caleb Hammer?

  Did you really just give me a "it could have been worse" when it came to cheating? You're a bad person?

• 1:35:23Speaker 04

  I have nothing to back this up. I am not a bad person.

• 1:35:25Caleb Hammer?

  You're a cheater. You're a bad person.

• 1:35:27Speaker 04

  That's not fair. Are you in a relationship? Good for you.

• 1:35:31Speaker 05

  To watch the Financial Audit Post Show, click the Join button below.

• 1:35:36Speaker 00

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