How to Laugh, Grow & Live Without Regret Feat. Pete Holmes

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/mylett US BASED: Head to https://hipebl.ai/ to get a free estimate & lock in our new standard *discounted* pricing at $399 USD per month per employee helps you contain costs. UK BASED: Go to https://hipebl.ai/ for a free estimate and discounted pricing to simplify global people operations so you can spend more time growing the business and supporting your team. Whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. Visit https://Whatnot.com/sell to start selling Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/mylett What If the Secret to Winning Isn’t Hustling Harder… But Becoming More Present in Your Own Life? I’ve had a lot of conversations on this show, but this one with Pete Holmes hit me in a completely different way. I brought Pete on because I think he’s one of the funniest people on the planet. But what I discovered sitting across from him is that behind the comedy is a level of depth, awareness, and truth that most people never tap into. This conversation is about success, yes. But it is also about life, presence, and what really matters when it’s all said and done. We got into what it really takes to get great at something. Pete broke down a concept that applies to every single one of you, whether you are in business, sales, parenting, or leadership. Do not compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten. Early on, he focused on simply being one of the best in the room he was in. That mindset alone will change how you approach growth. It is not about being the best in the world right away. It is about winning where you are, stacking small victories, and building confidence one step at a time. But where this conversation really took a turn was when we started talking about presence and awareness. Pete shared something that stuck with me deeply. He said most of us are living for the next moment instead of the one we are in. That hit me hard because I have lived that way for a long time. Always chasing the next thing, the next win, the next level. And what you will hear in this episode is a reminder that this moment right now is your life. Not the next one. Not the one after that. This one. We also went deep into belief, faith, and purpose. Pete has this incredible perspective on God and awareness that challenges you to think differently. Whether you are religious or not, what he shares will stretch your thinking. He talks about how we are all connected, how we belong to each other, and how much of life is about remembering that truth. It is one of the most powerful and thought-provoking conversations I have had in a long time. And then we brought it back to something practical that every high achiever needs to hear. At some point, you have to audit your dream. You have to ask yourself if what you are chasing is still what you want. Pete made a decision to prioritize his family and his life over constant hustle, and it has made him better at what he does. That takes courage. Real courage. This episode is going to challenge how you think about success, fulfillment, and the life you are building. Key Takeaways: Why comparing your beginning to someone else’s success is killing your growth The power of being fully present and why this moment is your life How to evaluate your progress based on your current environment A new way to think about God, awareness, and human connection Why high achievers must audit their dreams and redefine success over time How balance and intentional living can actually make you better at your craft 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior-like beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser-Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 1:34Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Miliband Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So, truth be told, I sought this man out to come on.

• 1:43Ed Mylett?

  One, I think he's one of the funniest human beings in the world. But I also just think there's something underlying his work that he's like a compelling, interesting figure to me. And I find myself, I frankly use the show sort of sometimes as a magnet. I wanted to meet him, and I wanted to know him. And I was telling him off-camera, some of my really good friends that are in his industry in the stand-up. Comedy world, name him as the guy they think is just hilarious and funny and talented. But there's some depth to him that you don't get in just your average everyday guest. He's a unique man. I can't wait to kind of dig into who he is and what he's all about.

• 2:25Ed Mylett?

  You know, you would probably know him, you'll recognize his voice. And if you're on YouTube, you'll see his face. He is Peter Benedict. Great middle name, by the way.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. Serious.

• 2:34Ed Mylett?

  He's also a Boston boy like me originally. And I think he's one of the funniest humans in the world. So welcome to the show, Pete Holmes.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Thank you very much. What a nice, I've, I, I, I'm already glad that we did this.

• 2:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, let's just cut right now. We can end it.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  We could.

• 2:49Ed Mylett?

  He, he has his own podcast. It's called You Make It Weird, right?

• 2:52Speaker 02

  You made it weird, pass it. Yeah, but yeah.

• 2:54Ed Mylett?

  Been around forever, you guys. It's like, after his TV show. I wanted to ask you, why are so many standups from Boston?

• 3:02Speaker 02

  I mean, that's a great question. I, I, it's not to be too much of a cliche, but I think there's something about.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I don't want to put it down, but there's something a little repressed about Boston, meaning it's, you know, remember Gary Gullman had this great line where if you drank Sprite in Boston, you were, that was considered effeminate. You know what I mean? There's, so there's something kind of like, I grew up in this pressure cooker of like toughness and, and kind of, again, I don't want to put it down. I really love Boston, but like, knuckleheads, I'll say knuckleheads, toughness and intense liberalism and intense geniuses. So like MIT, but also like the diehard Red Sock fan, fuck you, and all that sort of stuff.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  And, and Harvard and roads made for horses in the snow. And like, my father and my mother's from Lithuania, but she's from South Boston and, and my father's from like Somerville. So they were from like real, I say with respect, like real Boston, like they knew all these connected people and all this like dangerous stuff. And I grew up in Lexington. So there's something about the first generation that gets to safely express themselves. In a place that doesn't really celebrate expressing yourself. You know what I mean?

• 4:28Ed Mylett?

  I do know exactly.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  I'm like the first, I'm like the first dog that escaped the porch, you know, and I ran real fast and I, I sometimes catch my dad, um, I think having warm like pride that like he provided a life for me that I was like safe to tell people about my insecurities or my fears or whatever it was. And he never really got to have that. Uh, and I think he think, I hope quietly, he's a, he's a Boston dad, so I can't know for sure, but I think he thinks it's pretty cool that I've gone the other way and, and that I had a cozy enough of a, or safe enough of a life to be like, you know, he, he must look at my stand up like, what are you doing? You know, like, why are, why are you admitting that, you know, or whatever it might be?

• 5:13Ed Mylett?

  No, man, I totally relate to that. That sounds exactly like my dad, like a hundred percent. So I want to ask you, like, I do watch you on stage and I speak for a living, but I, what I want to make today is like lessons of success. We're going to talk a little bit about God, you guys and, but lessons of, of winning. I'm just curious, some of these, some of the people in stand up I've had on, I've asked, were you funny originally? And were you good originally? And they're like, no, it took me forever. I bombed. In your case, were you good like right out of the gate on stage and in stand up? And it's okay if you were. Some people try to make it like, oh, I was terrible.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:45Ed Mylett?

  Great, were you?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  You know, the, the classic is that Chappelle was good the first time he went up. Um, what I, I, you know, it's interesting. I really like, I, I hope you don't mind the term self-help. I, I think motivation is very interesting and I read a lot of that stuff and grew up and changed my life. So I hope I'm not, uh, it doesn't sound pandering if I speak in these terms, but it's true. I would gauge my success based on my environment. So I, I wasn't measuring myself against Jerry Seinfeld or, or, you know, the greats, like the people that were huge. I just wanted to be one of the better people at the open mic. And, and I didn't do that consciously. I just, I knew it would overwhelm me if I was like, am I great? You know, I'm talking about when I really first started, I just

• 6:28Speaker 02

  was like, was I in the top five of this awful open mic? So that I will say, uh, pretty much from the beginning, even though I wasn't very good, I was pretty conscientious. I would write. I would have like a theme. I remember at an open mic at the Comedy Connection in Faneuil Hall, the host went up and I didn't do very well. It was probably the second or third time I went up. But my parents were there and they remember this too. He got up on stage, he's real pro. You know, he'd been doing it 20 years and he goes like, "That's how you do it." He goes, "Beginning, middle and end." He was talking about something like, I was, I was a student of it. I studied like, "Oh, a lot of these things end with," I didn't know it was called a callback, but you call something back.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Something you established at the beginning. It's a good way to cue to the audience that you're done. And you go, and I look at him and it's, "It's the clown from before," or whatever it is.

• 7:20Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  So I did that. I did it kind of like conscientiously. And I, I feel like even in those early shows, I was like, at my level, at the amateur level, I was in the top three consistently. And that's what I tell people when I start. I go, "Don't measure yourself against Bill Burr. Go to an open mic. You'll laugh. You'll be like, "Look, it's just, it just is awful at the beginning."

• 7:45Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Not throwing shade on, we're just all awful. So go and just see if you can be one of the three best awful people. And, and that's a good, I, I do feel like I was, you know, in that top three at most open mics.

• 8:01Ed Mylett?

  It's probably good advice for anything.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, right?

• 8:04Ed Mylett?

  Like whatever your stage is, don't compare your chapter one to chapter nine of someone else's same time.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  It'll paralyze you.

• 8:11Ed Mylett?

  You think you should show some proclivity to being decent at something in the beginning? Like maybe that's a sign like, "Hey, this might be your lane." You know what I mean?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Well, the tricky thing with stand-up, not so much when I was starting, but when, when people tell me they want to be stand-ups now, I'm like, "Are you sure?" Because a lot of times I think you're saying, "I want to be rich and I want to be famous." Because stand-up is culturally relevant right now.

• 8:34Ed Mylett?

  True.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Believe it or not, when I started in 2000, 2001, it wasn't as relevant. It was still kind of like a fringe activity, not entirely, but it wasn't, they didn't have as many stand-ups like hosting SNL. It wasn't, we weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. I just mean my people. We weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. So like, you really got to get clarity on, is it what you want? Or are you just a guy who lives in Cooperstown, New York and you think you want to be a baseball player? You know what I mean? Like just because it's what's around. But if you go... And you're good, that's a real, and how it feels to do good, that's really the big clue. Is I would do good and I would feel, I've never done cocaine, but it's gotta be what it is.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  I would, I would feel elated, like this vibrating, buzzing euphoria and excitement. Like, and I would get up excited to keep doing it, you know? That's not to say there wasn't a lot of fear. There was a lot of fear. There's a lot of dry heaving. There was a lot of anxiety. There were a lot of ruined birthdays and holidays. Cause I had a show booked two weeks in the future and I just couldn't relax because I wasn't good. It's hard to know you're gonna get your ass kicked in two weeks.

• 9:42Ed Mylett?

  It's really good point though, because I was thinking, like, there are things I've been pretty good at. There's a, well, there's a million things I'm not good at, but there's been some things I'm pretty good at, that it didn't juice me when I was good at it.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I feel that.

• 9:55Ed Mylett?

  But like for me, like onstage, speaking like big arenas or big crowds or whatever, or just like this, like human connection stuff, sort of like really impacts me. One of the things that held me back, I'm just curious, because I've watched you. I think one of the reasons you're kind of compelling to me is like, and just having met you even off camera for a few minutes, I can tell I think I'm right. Like, you're, you're a nice guy. And what, what I mean by that is like, some of my friends that do what you do are like, I don't give a crap what anybody thinks. There's a, there's a hard edge to them almost. I'm wondering, do you, do you care a lot of what people think about you? And did that hurt you in any way or help you like in progress onstage? Like in the beginning, were you evaluating too much? How am I doing?

• 10:39Ed Mylett?

  Do they like me? And does that still affect you to this day?

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Less, but I actually think at the beginning, that's a good wound to have. It is a wound, wanting people to like you. It's also a type of, it can be narcissistic to want everyone to like you. It's just another way of controlling people. But if that was a survival technique, as it was for me, that doesn't mean it's all bad or anything. I just learned I can be safe if I make everybody happy. And if I make everybody kind of think I'm the golden boy. That is really good when you're starting. It will, I'll speak for myself. That was really good for me. Cause when I, when I tell people when they're doing stand up, I just say, you know, when would you laugh? Just put yourself in the audience and when would you laugh? That, that's a hard question. Cause sometimes you just go, oh no. You realize you wouldn't like you either.

• 11:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  But like you're in the business of trying to, kind of like inception, get inside somebody and, and change their chemistry. It's a good thing to be really compelled with what people think about you. And a lot of times when I watch stand ups, I'm just like, you gotta make these choices. Am I gonna go with what you think I am? Am I gonna go against what you think I am? But either one of those choices, you know, the prerequisite is to know how people receive you and then you can make these choices. But if you don't know who you are, and if you don't know how they probably feel about you, you're kind of lost. You're in a sandstorm. So I think that's a, that's a good compulsion to have is to want, maybe the same could be true if you want people to not like you.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  There are those provocateurs that like that sort of stuff. But both people, it's just both ends of the same spectrum. I'm interested in how people feel. I care about how they feel. And I'd like to be in charge of how they feel.

• 12:23Ed Mylett?

  That's, oh, there you go.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:25Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that's different. And I, I'm noticing this, now this is gonna sound everybody like I'm looking way too close. But like most of my, forget stand up for a second, but just my friends, but stand ups in particular. I'll text them during their special and go, oh, you used silence really well right there or whatever. I'm looking at every little subtlety and I've been thinking about you like, cause how, how is what you're good at doing translate to someone listening to this today, right? And so I watch your comedy. You're hilarious. You're deep. But I'm gonna tell you, there's a little thing you do. I don't know if you know you're doing it or not. You sometimes laugh at your own jokes before you've said the punchline.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:05Ed Mylett?

  And you smile a lot on stage. Not everybody does that. I think the best salespeople that I-

• 13:11Speaker 02

  I was gonna make the same point.

• 13:13Ed Mylett?

  Were you?

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:15Ed Mylett?

  Do you do it on purpose? Is it who you are? Cause like the people I trust the most that are trying to sell me something, I see them warm and smiling and I'm almost, I'm almost smiling back and nodding at them before they've even asked me for whatever the order is.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:31Ed Mylett?

  Is it your comedy or is it just like who you are on stage?

• 13:33Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Well, I think it is who I am, but that doesn't mean it's authentic. Like, if people said, "I'll give you $10 million, don't laugh during your set." Of course, I could not laugh, you know what I mean? And of course, there are shows that I'm doing that I don't feel like laughing. Often, a special taping is one of those times. Like, you're not really feeling super chill. But you're trying to mimic... The whole thing is trying to lean towards an aspect of you that is naturally occurring, but might not be the majority shareholder of your personality at that moment. But I'm trying to... I'm trying to control how they feel. I'm trying to control how I feel. And it's a benevolent manipulation. Usually, manipulation sounds bad, right? But if I want you to come to my show,

• 14:21Speaker 02

  and every... A lot of stamms I know feel this way. I want you to go on vacation. I want all your problems to be way, way, way far away. I want you to finally put all that down and feel like you're six years old again, and you're getting tickled. I want you to be joyful and light. I'm gonna use every tool I have. Is... Are some of them less than 100% authentic? You're goddamn right. I'm... It's the hardest thing in the world, in my opinion, to make people laugh for an hour, an hour and 15 minutes. It's really hard. It's energetically draining. It's mentally demanding. So, Chappelle, I learned that... I wouldn't say I ripped it from Chappelle, but, you know, steal from the best.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  He does that thing where he hits the mic on his knee. The mic, yes. Yeah. I move the mic away from my face. That's a way of cuing to them. Because my wife told me, she's like, "People wanna laugh, but sometimes they're worried they're gonna miss something." So, you move the mic away to say, "I'm not talking right now." And then the laughing or the smiling is another way to indicate that. Like, I'm showing you the sheet music. My part, my part, your part, your part. You're not just laughing when the chemical happens. You're laughing when the chemical happens, and you feel like it's appropriate in the show to laugh. You're looking for your cue. And that's why Chappelle cues people. That's why I'm cuing people.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  And it's funny, I remember reading something about salesmen that they would nod their heads. Someone would open the door and they'd already be subtly nodding their head. So when they say like, do you have a moment to talk to us today? The person would be more inclined to say yes. Now that's manipulation. Comedy, entertainment, storytelling, music, sales, teaching. It's all manipulation. I'm manipulating you. You're manipulating me. Well, you know, I don't mean it in a bad way. We're cuing each other. That's what a good conversation like this is. The tone of my voice is telling you, and now I'm winding down. That's a manipulation. And now I'm done. See, now it's your turn.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Aren't I cuing you well, Ed? You are cuing me perfectly. And that's what you're doing. Yes, Peter Benedict, very well done.

• 16:42Ed Mylett?

  This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls. And if insurance doesn't cover treatment, there are still options. Ro offers the lowest-cost cash-pay FDA-approved GLP-1s, such as daily pills and multi-dose pens. I use products by Ro and you should too.

• 17:25Ed Mylett?

  Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro dot C-O forward slash safety. R-O dot C-O slash safety. So when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality. Products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand vetted by product specialists. They use a 10-point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time.

• 18:09Ed Mylett?

  It looks great and I get compliments on it. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget. Whether you're trying to refresh your space for fall or transform your space for Halloween. Use filters, custom photos and reviews to find the right fit for your home. More than 20 million verified five-star reviews. 20 million. So transform your space with the pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 18:45Ed Mylett?

  There's something you do that I think transcends career. Or like the lane you're in. And most people don't know, they don't even, they're not even conscious of this when they're watching a special. Or they're just going to a club. You're up there, when you, by the time you get to your special, you have been telling most of those jokes for a year.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:06Ed Mylett?

  Over and over, you're working out the bit, the sequence, the line, the, the, the, the tonality, the pacing, all of it. But what you have to do is tell it like you've never told it before, like it's the first time. And I don't think most people that are watching stand-up appreciate that skillset. And here's why I ask it. I think like as a dad or like as a salesperson or a leader in a company, it's the 19th time you've covered your core values or your mission or your pitch. And what happens to most people is they fatigue on saying it and it sounds like you've said it before. Rather than being the only time you've ever said that line, the only time you've asked for that close, the only time you've sold the vision of the company to somebody.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:49Ed Mylett?

  You do that. First, that is right, right? You've had that bit a year, you've been sitting on that bit for a while.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's a great insight, really. I'm thrilled with that question because it's under-reported. And I think every comedian is different. When I was starting, everybody was like, you gotta perform every night. And I think at the beginning I did after perform every night. It was about reps, it was just about muscle memory, it was just about doing it. And then at a certain point, I don't even know what it was. It might have been 15 years and 10 years in, I don't know, around there. I started going like, I'm a fatigue guy. Like if I tell the joke too many times, it'll die. It like, it literally will stop working. Because it turns out, talk about how you're coming off. The joke is how you feel about it. And you lost the feeling.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  So I'm getting mad about trumpets or, or whatever, or electric eels. Like I have all these silly jokes where the joke is that I'm using the tonality of Bill Burr who might be ranting against politics or something. I'm using that to talk about that there's a berry called boysenberries. Like that's the joke. If I do boysenberries too many times, it'll dry up. It's, I, I say it on stage. I, I'm talking to myself on stage all the time. I go, I don't want this to feel like a, a, a job. So when I start, I usually do grab ass riffing, doing a bit I wasn't planning on doing.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  All in the first 15, 20 minutes. And if it doesn't work, in quotes, meaning it doesn't get like a smashing laugh, I'll straight up tell them, guys, this is an excuse to hang out. Like you're waiting for the hot joke. You're waiting for the big line. It's this, I go, this is your life. That sounds like you're lame, doesn't it? Because this is your life.

• 21:36Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Be, be here, like, join me now. Like you're in this crowd, you'll never be in this crowd again. Look at the person next to you and go, goodbye forever. Like this is it. And like, it's establishing again, a benevolent authority. I'm saying, I'm not here to ask you if these jokes are funny. I'm going to assume the position of someone who's gonna be the authority on what's funny, for your sake.

• 21:59Ed Mylett?

  Very good.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  It's like, I'm gonna land the plane. I know Bill Cosby's a troubling person. I'm, he had that line where he said, the pilot can't get on the PA and say, I'm gonna try to land the plane. You say, I'm gonna land the plane. Or you actually say even better, we're gonna be touching down at 11:15. Like that's, that's how sure I am. And that's what I'm doing. So even if a joke doesn't work, you demonstrate.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Um, your calm, right? I'll give you an example. I was just in San Francisco and I was trying to say the word bike, but I said, there's a racial slur that sounds like bike. And I actually said that word. And the whole play is straight. I'm not an alpha in most of my life. Straight alpha dog. I don't give, I don't give a [BLEEP]. No one here thinks I said that. I didn't even get worked up. I was just like, ah, did I say it? And like, I just kinda moved through it because they're taking your cue. Now, this was San Francisco. It's a very with it place. We don't want, I don't want words like that either, of course. I'm just saying. Yeah. They're looking to you. Am I sweating? Am I nerve, am I, huh, huh? Am I apologizing or am I going, shut the [BLEEP] up? I made it, you know?

• 23:06Speaker 02

  And, and they go, oh, my wife was in the crowd. She's like, everyone's like, thank God this guy's landing the plane. Now, let me answer your question better because, sorry, a lot of talking. There's. It's great. It's a really good area, right? So how do you not, the whole job is to go out? I have a mantra, I go, they haven't heard it before. I have two mantras. One is, it's not about the words. It's about the connection. It's about the space between the words. And they haven't heard it before. That usually means slow down and trust yourself. You thought this was funny? Give them a chance. They haven't heard it before. But the, the key is you wanna be, uh, I believe this is Louis CK said this,

• 23:49Speaker 02

  like the right side of the brain dictates, the left side of the brain communicates. If I catch myself doing the album, that means orating the bit. I'll stop. I'll stop it and [BLEEP] it up on purpose or change it or bring someone into it or say like, I'm sorry, this sucks. Like you wanna nudge yourself into the part that's communicating the joke. So another way to do that, that's less disruptive than stopping or less jarring. Say it in a way you haven't said it before. Say it in a crazy way. And, and, and now you have to defend this weird, you said, dogs are, whatever it is. It doesn't have to be a hot take. And then the other key, I learned this from my friend, Isaac Witty, when I was opening for him. He was like, go out of order.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  So there's nothing better to keep you in the communication side of your brain. There's nothing better to keep you vital and fresh than to go, I always open with this. Guess what? We're not even going to do it tonight. Let's open with the middle. Let's close with the beginning. Let, let's drop that. Let's open mic it here. Cause sometimes what they need is the energy of you trying something that's not quite done. Maybe they don't want home run derby. Maybe they want to see you. Gary Shandling had this great line, they go, no one cares what Elvis plays. They want to see Elvis. So just be Elvis. Don't be like, oh, and then I gotta do, uh, fools rush in and then I gotta do blue Christmas. Like, get the out of here. Be Elvis, right? That's how you stop from.

• 25:17Ed Mylett?

  You guys, I hope you're all listening to this the way that I do. Like, I'm thinking about stand up, but I'm thinking about like me as a dad for the nine millionth time, telling my kids to be smart, changing up the sequence, not like it's such, be smart. You know, like, I, you know, as a leader or a salesperson, that it doesn't sound like you've done it a bunch of times. It's funny, it's so interesting. You just said this, I, I gave a talk yesterday and it was a much smaller venue than I'm used to, you know? And it was like, gonna be awkward. It almost like took me back to like my beginning of speaking. It was at like a okay hotel with like a handheld mic and like, you know, it wasn't a big arena or whatever. And, uh, I was worried I was going to mail it in.

• 26:00Ed Mylett?

  Like a lot of you mail in your Monday morning, uh, sales meeting with your team or your board meeting or whatever. I thought, I'm gonna mail. And so I did exactly what you said. I, there's certain things I'm going to get to, but I took some risks. I know I got.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Risk.

• 26:13Ed Mylett?

  Stuff that's going to work anyway.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Get your heart going. It's scary.

• 26:17Ed Mylett?

  Do it scary, change the sequence up. And I kinda like made fun of myself with it. I had fun with it. I think, and the other thing you said that I just want to make sure I highlight to everybody is assume the position of the authority.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, for them, for them.

• 26:30Ed Mylett?

  Them, right.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  It's a kindness. It's a kindness. Yeah.

• 26:33Ed Mylett?

  It's, that was, bro, you're.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  It puts everybody at ease. But you know, it's funny. So I have, I have a seven year old. If you catch me looking, I'm just making sure she's not coming in. Sometimes I'll be reading to her or something and I'm like, I catch myself doing the same thing. This isn't a stand up thing. What I'll, I go, like, I'll be reading, we're reading The Babysitter's Club. The, there's a graphic novel. It's quite good. That's why I mention it in case people are looking for something for a seven year old. But sometimes I get overwhelmed, like, these chapters are, are long sometimes and, and the, the reading timer goes off, but it's like when I'm one page into the next chapter, so we have to finish it. And I'll catch myself just being like, ah, I just want to be done. And it's just that moment of consciousness, just that moment of awareness, like you had in the small hotel.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  Where you go like, wait, I'm stuck. I'm trying to be done snuggling with my daughter, reading her a book. She's gonna be 16. And won't want, maybe won't want to hang out with me. Like, it's like snap out of it. Become aware. And I'll say to myself, sometimes my eyes, it's literally just my eyes are tired and I just go, just this page, just this frame, just this. And I'll look at my girl, she must think I'm, I don't know, she, she's used to it. So she's probably not thinking I'm crazy. But I'll look at her and I'll whisper and I'll be like,

• 27:51Speaker 02

  or something like that. Just something to slap me out of it. I'm dragging ass through The Babysitter's Club? And it's not because, oh, I should be. It's like, no, this is my life too. This is, oh, this isn't, this isn't the path. You ever do that? Like, all suffering is going, when I'm done with this, I can watch Task with my wife. Well, you're doing this right now, dipshit. So do it. You're in this shitty hotel right now. So do it. And by the way, couldn't relate harder. I, my career is littered with gigs where you're just like, I was just at Radio City. You know what I mean? Now, and now I'm in the Hyatt or whatever it is. Yes, and there's a Zach Artoli quote where he says, how you feel right now is how you feel about your life.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  This is your life. It's not looking back or looking forward. It's just this. And that is really, it can be, it can make me go like, okay, so let's enjoy this. Let's enjoy this. Just this page of the babysitter.

• 28:47Ed Mylett?

  I am so with you, bro. I think a lot of people that achieve like, I've, I've been addicted to the next moment all of my life. Not the one I'm in. I'm going to do the next one. Let me get through this one and then I'm going to get to that one. And it's something I really, a little thing I've been doing lately. I just said this like an hour ago to somebody. I was like, I've become more of like a witness to myself and I've become more like a witness to the moment. But it kind of snaps me into awareness. Like I want to witness this moment. And for some reason with me, that term, that way of thinking like, causes me to be present. By the way, I, I, I also was thinking the other day about like, I had a good friend come down, spent the last couple of days with me. We were playing some golf and I'm like,

• 29:29Ed Mylett?

  all my friends fit a certain profile. They're very different to me. I'm actually really introverted.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 29:34Ed Mylett?

  Are you really? Really? It's interesting. A lot of people on stage are and I'm like super introvert. So I have a lot of like, very charismatic, very extroverted, very life of the party friends, which makes all the lifting very easy on me, right?

• 29:48Ed Mylett?

  They all like, they're very similar. But the other thing that they, they all do is there, I like them because they're fully present with me. A presence about them, all of my really close friends do that I lacked when I was young with people. That like, it's the thing I cherish the most in other people. All right. I gotta, I've been dying to ask you this. So, for what, your specific faith beliefs, it's no one's business, although I know that you have it. I've read about you that like, you thought when you were young, you might be a youth pastor. Blows my way, if that's accurate, but you have this thing you do, bro. I know you know what I'm going to ask you. But it like, I've watched it probably 50 times.

• 30:30Ed Mylett?

  It probably sent it, no exaggeration, no exaggeration to probably 300 people over the last year.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 30:38Ed Mylett?

  And it's this notion of. You know what I'm gonna ask you. So what do we come from, right?

• 30:43Speaker 02

  God or nothing?

• 30:45Ed Mylett?

  We come from God or nothing. And like, whatever your faith belief is specifically, you guys all know that I'm a Christian, but like, set that aside just for a second, like, just belief in something greater than oneself, right? Like, would you explain that concept, like, take them through this God or nothing thing? Because it's like unreal.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it's actually the spirit with which I wrote that joke was to say we're all in the same boat. I was like, we all, we think it's like one side atheists and one side theists, right?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  I have issues with both sides. Way more often, I'll meet an atheist. I don't want to say more often. I'm just saying, very often, I'll meet an atheist and I'll find a way into talking about spirituality that we vibe with. A lot of times, the people that I'll bump up against are people that are really much more rigid in their beliefs. That's gonna be a religious person. So I am not on one of these sides. I'm just saying, we're on the same side. It's all, it's all the same choice. You either think God created the universe, or you think nothing created the universe. But what are we really talking about? It's in both cases, it's something you can't see, touch, taste, photograph, and science can't prove, right? And the part, I'm going a little out of order. I haven't done this joke in a while.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  The part that people make fun of, the, the nothing people make fun of the God people, and they say, God doesn't exist. And I'm like, sure, but you know what definitely doesn't exist is nothing. Like, that's the defining characteristic of nothing. Like, can we please just look at this idea that nothing, nothing, which we can't even find in the universe, erupted into everything? So something that we can't find existed and spontaneously erupted into everything. That's a magical nothing. That's incredible. And the real, the real, like, thing that made me feel like I was on to something, I'd go, ask the nothing people what happens when you die.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  They'll tell you, nothing. You go into nothing. And I go, you mean you merge back with your creator? I go, that's heaven, is what I say. So. But what you see, what I'm trying to do there is I go same side, same side. Something unknown is doing something we know not what, right? We don't know what it is. And my God is no thing. It's not a thing. It's not an object. The God, and I like the word God because it's a good place. I say God is the name of the blanket we put over the mystery to give it a shape. That's what Barry Taylor from ACDC said. And I joke, why didn't I learn that in church? Why am I learning this from Barry Taylor? The road manager for ACDC, who I've met, actually.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Turns out he's a mystic. He's a groovy guy. But so God is, I like the word God. That works for me. It's easier than saying a metaphor for a mystery. It has more juice. There's something about reclaiming it too, that has a lot of power for me. But where was I?

• 33:41Ed Mylett?

  Do you spend a lot of time? Well, you were.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  I like that I blanked.

• 33:44Ed Mylett?

  I hope everyone replays that last thing. It's the best bit for me in the last 20 years of comedy.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 33:53Ed Mylett?

  It is the best bit. And it actually makes me actually really emotional, but I'm curious.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  I love it too.

• 34:02Ed Mylett?

  So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince.

• 34:47Ed Mylett?

  Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine. Finally, once and for all, 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings.

• 35:30Ed Mylett?

  I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. How much time do you spend? Now we're being serious with one of the funniest people in the world, but like, how do you, do you spend a lot of time on that? Like, I do. Like, what do I really believe?

• 36:13Ed Mylett?

  Like, when I say when I really believe, like, the depth of what I believe. Getting clearer on it, strengthening it, questioning it. I like, I like questioning what I believe. Like, I, it's like, I'm, I'm sort of weird and maybe I'm even morbid. Like, I think a lot about death. Like, it makes me feel more alive when I do it and that this thing I'm doing right now matters in this moment. You, you seem to me like, you're real funny, but you seem like a pretty, pretty serious dude. Do you think about those things? Do you, do you know what you believe? Or are you like, still working on what you believe?

• 36:50Speaker 02

  What's, it's a little bit unfortunate is that I, I feel like more and more I do feel like I can articulate what I believe. And what's unfortunate about that is I do try to maintain some, of course, I don't know. And, and we still have experiences and intuition that we're like, it's something I don't know. I don't think my mind can perfectly articulate it. It's like, if I speak of it, I'm a fool. And if I'm silent, I'm a coward. So you're just like, I'm going to speak about it and it's not going to be right. In fact, One of the times I think I'm farthest from it, from the truth, is sometimes when I'm talking about it. That's something that I've noticed.

• 37:29Ed Mylett?

  I know exactly what you mean.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? So my, uh, hope, I'd say my practice, something, something that I'm trying to work on is, people ask me about this and I'm like, is it possible to like, just keep one foot in the pool while I talk about it? It's really, it's really tricky because I go into my head and I start trying to like, lay out like a metaphysical argument. But what I like to say in times like this, or what I'm compelled to say now, is I think God is awareness. I think there's only one awareness and I think that's what Jesus was pointing us to. And I think one of the points of life is to remember that we belong to each other and to help each other, as my, as my homie Ram Dass said, walk each other home. Just because, not to be right conceptually, but to be rid of fear

• 38:16Speaker 02

  and, and to not, and to rid of ourselves of hate and othering. That's, I think that's why these things matter.

• 38:22Ed Mylett?

  Whoa, that's, that's awesome. Do you, uh, do you ever pray, like before you go on stage if you're scared or nervous?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  I say, uh, it's just us cats. I like to say that because in my, in my belief, this is sort of like God's dream. That's one way I would, I would quickly explain this. Like, we're all in the mind of God. So when I catch myself being nervous, it's because I'm believing that these things, these people in the audience are other than myself. But if I can own the idea that we're all the same thing, that there's nobody in the other boat, that it's just us cats, that helps me calm down. So that's not a prayer per se, but it's me trying to remember. I say this all the time, Ed, but maybe, maybe you'd like it. In The Prodigal Son, right? All he does is remember that he's the man's father.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  And there's nothing he could do to be less the man's son or more the man's son. So he's already the man's son. It's, and I feel that way about all of us. We already belong to this one thing. So if I can go out and recognize, it's more like recognize that it's just us. It's just play. It's just a dance. It's just an excuse to hang out. It's just an excuse to love. It's just an excuse to remember. Because when you laugh, You're not really there. We're all kind of empty, so we can really have a good chance at merging together. That makes me less nervous.

• 39:51Ed Mylett?

  Wow. Man, that's so good.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  I mean, you must experience that, talking to thousands of people. Sometimes you got that feeling like, oh, wow, we're all in the pocket together.

• 40:01Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, I know this, the part that I definitely relate to is the part of if, and there are times where like, I, it, um, separate from them. And I've made it about me. Like, they think of me, or how well I'm doing, or do they think I'm incredible, or am I killing this right now? Uh, typically, I suck. Uh, but when I am connected with them, um, I feel like they feel that we're connected when I, when I give that sense, and when I don't, I suck. And so.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Well, that's, that's wholeness, right? So holy is a derivative of, of wholeness.

• 40:37Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  So the idea of wanting to be like a show, being a holy thing is because you came in as Ed.

• 40:46Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  You sat in an audience, you merged with a performer, it became a show. Like, we all became a show. Like, that is dropping yourself off at the door. That's part of the, the fun of it.

• 41:00Ed Mylett?

  You know, you were saying that, I was thinking, that's what a great leader does in a house, in their home. That's what a great leader does in a business. I wish the leaders of either of the two parties did that politically anymore. Like, trying to make it us instead of them and me. And, by the way, I think both parties do that, but I, I just, uh, I also like, I like what you said earlier, when you're on stage and you go, no, this isn't working. I would love one of our leaders at one point to go, hey, I screwed up.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  I know.

• 41:28Ed Mylett?

  Uh, I'm sorry, and I'm gonna.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  We don't have an allowance for that, you know? It's not, culturally, we don't. I have, I have friends, so my friend who I used to go down, you said you were in Laguna, uh, I'd go and hang out with Rob Bell, and he was a pastor, and he's, he's a great man.

• 41:45Ed Mylett?

  I know who he is, yeah.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I used to talk to him, I was just like, I just don't know why a pastor can't get up and be like, I woke up and had a lot of doubt today.

• 41:54Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Where I just, I just don't believe it today.

• 41:56Ed Mylett?

  I know.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  I'm depressed. I, like, they become like, not everywhere, but a lot of times pastors and politicians become like corporate logos or something. It's like your Mickey Mouse or your Coca-Cola, you have to be fizzy, you have to be bubbly, you have to be sweet, like. That's the job.

• 42:13Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  And, and when I see a politician, like, remember when Howard Dean was like, yeah, and we were like, fuck this guy, like, that sucks. We're so binary. We're like,

• 42:25Ed Mylett?

  You're so.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  You're either cool or you're not. So they become the most like studied. It's almost sociopathic, like they have to be like, everything they do. Hillary Clinton has hot sauce in her bag. Is anyone buying this? But that's just their job. I actually feel bad. I'm like, it sucks that to get votes, you have to pretend you had Cholula in your bag? You look like Saltines. You're, you don't have Cholula in your bag. But that's what every politician, it seems, and every pastor has to play the part of a pastor and it's like a 24 hour role and, and that sucks. That's why I think it's really fun that you, to be a comedian and I can, I, I feel free to say anything.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  And I think it makes it more interesting that I choose to be like, hey, let's talk about this. I don't have to.

• 43:14Ed Mylett?

  I do totally too. I think it's gutsy and I, it's interesting. Like I'll even catch flack from people from today where I said, sometimes I question what I believe. To me, like even those of you that are deeply religious, like, well, if you have a relationship with someone or something, these relationships go through this. That's how they grow. If you're questioning it, if there's never some strife, if there's never any doubt in your relationship, it doesn't grow any stronger. So anyway, I want to get completely deep, but I think it's actually a healthy thing to have that. The second that I wanted to ask you earlier, because you said it earlier and I'm really, I literally like, like dig in on this. He said, when I was starting out, was I like in the top three at the open mic night? And then when I was in the clubs, size clubs, am I in the top three there or whatever?

• 43:59Ed Mylett?

  How much of that is good? And then when is it bad? Like, do you, you see Bill Burr blowing up or Sebastian blowing up? It, and even in life and business, it's like people are really good friends with people. And then it feels like until your success threatens them. Or people have this belief that like, if, if Joe's doing really well in business, he's taking part of the pie that I could have had. I'm going to do less. So they almost root against. So how much of that, like in your world, like are you, you, you, there's got to be a little bit of you that's competitive, like, hey, I want to be regarded as great and I'd love to fill up an arena at the same time. So are you, do you, do you find yourself a little bit too competitive? When should that stop?

• 44:44Ed Mylett?

  You get the question.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, it's interesting. This has been coming up this week in other conversations as well. Even admitting to you that when I was an open mic'er, that I wanted to be, let's, let's, you know, cut the crap. I wanted to be the best one. I didn't want to be in the top three. I wanted to be the best one. You know, and part of my strategy as a nice person, uh, and not meaning like I thought about it, but like I wouldn't say something like that. But even that is to be like, I'm also gonna be the nicest person here. I'm gonna win that as well. So there's all sorts of competition going on. What, what came to mind is Neil Brennan is a dear friend of mine and he had this, uh, he's great. He had this great line where he's like, comedians aren't friends.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  It's a bar fight and occasionally you're punching in the same direction as the guy next to you. And it gives the illusion that you're friends. And I'll say this, I, I left Los Angeles. I have a lot of friends now that aren't comedians. That's been really good for my heart, for lack of a better term. And I see that as, as really true. Like comedians, I, I think of us as pirates. Like we're always kind of like, where'd you get that gold? Where'd you get that chest? Where, where is that? Where are those seven seeds? Like it's never entirely chill. There's always gonna be a little bit, and that's what we like about each other. We also relax around each other.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  To mix metaphors again, we're a little bit like assassins and we hang out and we have our briefcases with our rifles and we, we wear our black leather gloves. And it's nice to just not pretend that we're not assassins with each other. It doesn't necessarily lead to the richest inner life. I'll admit something that I'm not proud of. When I go on Netflix, it's really hard for me because I see every face is just somebody else that got another special or something. And I have a Netflix special. It's still. There's a part of me that is still fighting as if his life depends on it. And it takes a lot of conscious effort, like sometimes literally in my imagination, sitting that person down and being like, that's not what's happening.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  That's not what's happening. You, you think like it's a depravity thing. You think this person got it, so you're not going to get it. Relax. And then, and then a very practical step is like, go to gratitude. I also just keep my head out of it. I'm not on social media. I'm not on, I, I don't even like going on Netflix. Like I'd rather just find what I want to watch and say it into the, into the remote. Just kind of stay out of it. So I can just be in my lane, my family, my job. I want my act to be as good as possible. I'll either sell it or I won't, or figure it out, put it here, put it there. Just keep your eyes on your own paper.

• 47:34Ed Mylett?

  Do you think there's a point, by the way, same here, I've gotten much better at that. Like I'm, I actually feel genuine happiness when my peers are doing well now. That doesn't mean I don't want to be number one. But, but before I used to think, man, if they're doing well, maybe that means I'm not, you know? And I don't really have a lot of that anymore. I don't think.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  When I'm, when I'm clear, I'll think something like, we were talking about Sebastian. Sebastian selling out arenas. I'm like, it, rising tide lifts all the boats. And that's true. I started doing colleges as a young man. That was the first thing I did. And I told this to Dane, Dane Cook, I was like, more people were at my show because of you, because you made comedy cool. So instead of being a hater, I call that comedy cancer. If you go around being like, this guy, that guy, this, that, that, it's going to kill you. It's going to kill you. You need to make that little effort to go, because these kids love Dane, they might see a comedy poster and go, I'll go see some guy I don't know. And they did.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  And now they might be my fan. That, that doesn't mean now I've won. It just means like, it's good for all of us. Sebastian's good for all of us. Bill is good for all of us. Malaney's good for all of us. Amy's good for all of us. This is same team. I like, I try, but it does take effort to go, we're all in this together. It's not me versus you.

• 48:58Ed Mylett?

  And again, I hope you're all hearing this like you're not in comedy, but you're in your industry or your life or your friends. It's interesting you brought up Dane. Dane's been on and. Another Boston guy, by the way.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:08Ed Mylett?

  And what was interesting is, you know, he was pretty, he's been pretty open about like his challenged time of his career, you know, with his brother taking advantage of him. And maybe you couldn't maintain that level of notoriety forever and stuff. And I'm like, myself, I'm curious what you think about this. And we've only got a time for a couple more things, unfortunately, because I'd spend three hours.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  But I'm enjoying this too. Thank you.

• 49:31Ed Mylett?

  I am really, man. I really am. I knew I would. Um, do you think that there's, if you give advice to someone who's like on the climb, like Dane's climbing, like you're climbing, like I've climbed.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:42Ed Mylett?

  So this is someone recently, there is a point on the climb where like, at least for me, like, those first rungs were worth every trade off. Like that rung becomes a trade off to climb to the next level. You're gonna miss a family birthday party, or you know, some of your mental health ain't gonna be completely together. So there's the rungs you climb in life. And for the most part, the trade off to get to the next rung level on the ladder was worth it.

• 50:09Ed Mylett?

  But I think maybe there's a point where you do need to evaluate the rungs, so to speak, and the trade off. Like, at some point, when you do have a family, and you do have a wife, and you do have children, do you buy into that? Like, at some point, you do need to evaluate.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  So hard.

• 50:26Ed Mylett?

  What it's costing you.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  So hard. So Ed, if it makes you feel good, I hope it does. These are great questions.

• 50:34Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  These are great questions. They really are. And they're coming from somebody, I, I feel like we have, we must have a lot in common. Cause that is what it is. And if there's something, if I were to give, if every comedian working today, it would be a terrible audience, sat down and I could, we all got to talk for 15 minutes like Ted. My talk would be about balance. And I, I, I can't.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  I just don't see a lot of guys even going for it, even trying for it. And they've bought into this idea and they have agents and managers and people on the payroll. People say things like, "Make hay while the sun's out." And I'm like, "Motherfucker, how much hay? How much hay do you need? Like, it's too much hay." And the people, you know who's telling you, "Make hay while the sun's out"? The people that get 10% of your hay. That's right. So my wife and I have, we've covered a lot of mantras here. They're all simple, but we go, "Good life when? Good life when? When are we gonna do that?" And at a certain point, I went, "For me as a performer, one weekend a month is right.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  For me as a father and a husband and a friend, one weekend a month is right. I'm in a very great place in my career where I can do one weekend a month. I don't have to hustle and do four weekends in a month." But to give myself the credit, most people would just say, "Do the four, do the four weekends." And I go, "But good life when?" Like, a daughter is a great way to go to see the passage of time. Those Babysitter Club bedtime readings. We do night swims, we go on bike rides. I am, I look at my comedy like a cactus. This is my strategy. How little can I feed it?

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Because comedy is actually, and I think I'm at the top of my game. If you come and see me, what I'm doing now is better than what I was doing five years ago. So it's not suffering. I'm keeping an eye on the levels. But I want to water it as little as possible. That means I do one weekend a month. I do one Largo show here in LA a month. That's enough for me to write and produce. And when I'm about to go on the road, I usually do one or two sets in town just to get the dust off. That is the minimum. And when I do, Ed, nothing changes. When I do the improv or the store... I want people to say that was the best guy. I can't always be the best guy, but sometimes I'm the best guy.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  And it means a lot to me to be like, you guys don't even know. I'm going to be hitting a pinata tomorrow. You don't even know that I'm leaving the club. I'm going to drive 90 minutes into the mountains because I want my kid to leave her bike on the lawn. Like it's, it's the big and, and just, that's all, that's nice to say like it's for them. It's also for me. When I watched that Eddie, Eddie Murphy documentary, he goes, if you pray for something, pray for peace of mind. I was like, this guy gets it.

• 53:44Ed Mylett?

  I did too.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  That right?

• 53:47Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  That's the line.

• 53:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  That's the piece that passes understanding, right? You're, what you want isn't to just ring the bell every time. You want to have a quality of consciousness that can actually appreciate and, and bask in the glow of what you've done. You want to be able to sleep. You want to be able to sit on the beach. You want to be able to swim. You want to be able to forget what time it is. You want to be able to put your phone in a drawer. You want to go like, I'm not even going to look at my finances this week because I know I'm working and I know the bills and every, and we have people for that. Like that is what I mean by balance and, and it's the best. Like if you saw my life, I'd hand over the footage. You'd be like, wow, Pete's a comedian, like 6% of the time and 94%.

• 54:31Ed Mylett?

  I bet I think you're rich. I bet I live a rich life and I got to tell you all what he just said, you guys, look, there's seasons of your life. When you're young and killing it, you got to climb, climb, right? Like I do think there's those times.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 54:45Ed Mylett?

  But I, I got to tell you all, let me tell you what that takes that he just decided. By the way, I've done it too. You all know this. I, I went, I had a TV show with NBC. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm like, I'm just doing it. And um, I got to tell you what that takes. It takes unbelievable courage. It, that sounds easy, like I got, it is so hard when you're climbing to go, no. But you see people that you you're competing against. Let's just be real. Keep climbing and keep going and you've got to sell yourself on your version of life. That's why this whole thing of like being a witness of your own life. What matters to you now?

• 55:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:22Ed Mylett?

  And sometimes I think you've got to audit a dream. Like, is this still my dream?

• 55:26Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 55:27Ed Mylett?

  You know what I mean? Is this still what I want? Is this still my dream? It's okay that it changes and evolves or adjusts.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:35Ed Mylett?

  Be a witness, be aware, ask yourself some dad gum questions in your life. It's okay. I think quitting on a dream when you're losing, that's quitting. But adjusting on a dream when you're winning, like what you just said.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:50Ed Mylett?

  More winning to me. That's.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I'll give you a good one, like Hollywood award parties and stuff. I used to think you had to go to that stuff. I was like, everyone here is miserable.

• 56:02Ed Mylett?

  It's true.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Every you you. It's like a bunch of mirrors. Uh, nobody, nobody to say, I see you. It's all these look at me's and nobody to look at you. All these people saying, watch me dive, but nobody's watching anybody dive. It's just the people that just want to be watched diving all together in tuxedos. I was like, maybe we can stop doing that. That that was an easy one.

• 56:23Ed Mylett?

  That's so good.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, but I but to your, you already said it, Ed, but like, when I was young, it was it was absolute insanity. Like, we could have that conversation too. It was insatiable. It was yes to everything. Go, go, go. But I know guys that that make millions a weekend and they and they still complain they don't see their families. And I'm like, please, it's like a type of, I don't want to call it an illness, but it it seems like somebody needs to tell you, please, please stop.

• 56:56Ed Mylett?

  It's really true. You know what happened for me? I'll tell you this, and then I'll ask you a last question. I'll just share it with you. Everyone can listen in. I was with my dad when he died. Uh, we were in his home. So we were in his living room. My dad died of cancer and and uh, it was a really profound like thing. First off, my dad became my best friend. He was alcoholic and when I was young, became my best friend. But it was just, maybe this sounds simple to everybody and trite, but like, my dad died in his house. His car was in the driveway.

• 57:28Ed Mylett?

  Neither one went with him. You're really not your possessions. You don't take it with you. And then my dad's awards of his life, like golf tournaments he won or business awards or whatever, they were in the room my dad died in.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:44Ed Mylett?

  They stayed here. You're not your accolades. Like you're not those things. When my dad died, he had worries and insecurities and problems. None of those went with him either. You're none of those things.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 57:57Ed Mylett?

  You know, and so that, but what's interesting is what he did leave here. And one of the things my dad helped thousands of other people get sober. Like maybe start to focus more on who and what you'll matters to you. Like your children, like your relationships, like figuring out what you believe about God and life. And there's a season for everything in life. It takes great courage to do what you're doing because you are in that handful of conversation of the greats. And to go, you know what? This weekend I'm going to be with my daughter and my wife. When they're not and you're competing that you guys, that sounded really nice when he said it. You don't know how difficult that is to call that shot because I've called it.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, okay. I've always wanted to have a term for this. Like when we moved into this house, we have a pool and we put a cover on it. And we put a cover on it because my daughter was little and you know, she couldn't swim. So it was for her. But then I love swimming, so I want to heat the pool. I swim in the winter and then the, the cover is, you know, what makes it stay warm. So I did it for her and then it ended up being for me. So I want a word in English, something you do for someone else that ends up being for you. Because this is one of them. I only do once a month. Guess what? I look forward to it. I'm better, I'm brighter, I'm eager. I can't wait to get up there. Sometimes, you know, a fluke or I said, I couldn't say no to something.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  I end up doing two weekends in a row. I'm just a little bit more, my voice is raspy.

• 59:29Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Doing the joke, it works. You're like, who cares? It works. It, it's for them.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  And then it ends up being for me. It's a pool cover. And there's so many things in my life that are like that.

• 59:41Ed Mylett?

  Oh, well, when you figure that out, you're gonna have to come on and tell us. At last, you said it later, just curious, you said later, or earlier, rather, that when they leave, hey, I want them thinking that guy was the best of the night. But overall, like, because I do think there's certain shows I've gone to and I just laughed my butt off, right? There's other people, you're one of them, that like, I've also thought about something when I leave. You know, like, I'm a little, like, this dude was saying something in there, or I felt something, or is there something you are conscious of? Maybe you're not, maybe you just wanted to laugh, that's it. But do you want people feeling or thinking when they leave a show with you?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes. And I want, I want them to be thinking, what is this? I, that, that moment when I'm reading with my daughter and I go, hey, we're here. Or that moment when you're giving your talk and you realize you're phoning it in and you snap out of it. I want them to snap out of it. That's what I'm going for. Meaning, I want them to arrive in their lives. And the, the best way to do that is to sometimes directly ask them about the nature of their reality, what this is. I have that bit about, we're all atoms. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. I don't understand. These atoms know they're atoms. And there's a certain, you know, there's a quality when someone tells a ghost story. It just kind of brings you into your body. The same thing can happen when somebody's just like,

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  what is, the air is also made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. Or become aware of the empty space in your room. And don't you see that you're kind of like that empty space? That's what, you close your eyes, you're a vacant field of scintillating knowing, wherein sounds and thoughts and you, you can picture a lemon, or you could hear my voice, or you could see what's around you. It all appears in the same empty space that you essentially are. That. That in the same way that a ghost story can, you go like, oh gee, you snap out of it. Remember in Wally, where he's going, Wally, the Disney movie?

• 1:01:47Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  He goes around, he keeps knocking into the people that are stuck on their screens and they're drinking their slurpees. He knocks them in, their screen goes off and they they unplug and they go, whoa, whoa, where was I? That's what I want. And sometimes the best way to do that is to just go, what is this?

• 1:02:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Cause I'm tired of not talking about it. Like you said, I don't care how you label it, but we're all in this conundrum. It's inexplicably mysterious and we walk around talking about pants and trophies and what car you drive or what you're gonna have for lunch. What? We're in outer space and even weirder than that, we're in this knowing space where we are a mystery. What we are is a mystery and and we just go like, oh, who do you like on Instagram or who did you vote for this or that? Let's, let's bring it down. Let's, let's reduce it down to the, the thing that we all have in common that we're here.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  We are, we're aware, we're present. And if we're being honest, we're, we're kind of confused.

• 1:02:53Ed Mylett?

  It's so, this is an all-timer, bro. This is an all-timer. By the way, remember when I introduced him, I told you that there was a depth there? By the way, here's what's so great about him. You'll get all of that and then you'll get a joke like, do you ever have to poop so bad you pee second? There's like, you're gonna get them both, you guys. You're gonna get them both. Like, I'm just telling you.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  You have my permission, by the way, you can say that. You're ever in a tight spot, you say it, get the laugh, then go, that's a Pete Holmes joke. You have my, you have my blessing because that is one of the best loaded guns I've had in my back pocket.

• 1:03:26Ed Mylett?

  It's an all-timer, brother. It's an all-time podcast too. Like, I want to have you back on. Like, you know what?

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Yes, please.

• 1:03:32Ed Mylett?

  When the special comes out or something, come back on. And by the way, you can go see him on the, how do they find out where you're playing on these one weekends a month?

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Pete Holmes, I, I know I said I'm not on social media, but that, that just means I approve what's on my social media. So you can follow me there. At Pete Holmes on all of them and petehomes.com is my tour dates and I will have a special. Coming out in February on YouTube. What I'm very excited about.

• 1:03:56Ed Mylett?

  Go check him out, bro. I enjoyed today a lot. I'm gonna come up. I'm gonna find you on the road somewhere. I'm gonna come see you.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Please do, please do.

• 1:04:03Ed Mylett?

  All right, everybody. Max out your life. Share today's episode. I know you will. God bless you.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  This is the Ed Mylan Show.

• 1:04:16Speaker 04

  Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.

• 1:04:47Speaker 05

  Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-CONTACTS. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-CONTACTS.com today to save on your first order.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  1-800-CONTACTS.