His Doesn’t Hear You…

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor are back together in person to discuss their low iron deficiencies, watching inappropriate movies on plane rides, and going to underground doctors. Plus, Brooke imprints on a new person and Connor discovers a new species. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Get $28 off your first month of https://nuuly.com when you sign up with the code bnc Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to https://www.goodwipes.com/BNC, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Again, that’s https://www.goodwipes.com/BNC to get your free wipes! Goodwipes—because butts deserve better. Download the free Rakuten App or go to Rakuten dot com to start saving today. Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bandc10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free Item for Life! B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. Chapters: 0:00 Grunting 0:12 Intro 0:31 In Our Barf Era 8:05 Stitches Are Gross 10:15 Sooo Iron Deficient 12:59 Stand Up In The Dr’s Office 17:00 Nuuly 19:30 Goodwipes 21:05 Time Is Warped 23:30 Sucking Pennies 25:05 The Two Most Iron Deficient Individuals 27:55 More Texas Lore 29:50 Needing To Laugh In Silence 31:59 Moment of Silence For The Stump 35:12 Pledging Allegiance To Texas & Pennsylvania 38:01 Crazy Josh Hutcherson TikTok Edits 40:41 Focus Friend Bean 44:30 Rakuten 45:38 HelloFresh 47:27 Inappropriate Plane Movies 50:00 Brooke Imprints Again 54:19 Stains On T-Shirts 56:44 Repeating Jokes Louder 59:10 Bracing For Feedback 1:02:10 His Doesn’t Hear You Asking Him The Way It’s To Whispers… 1:03:27 We Need Jane Goodall On 1:06:05 Vegetables Aren’t Real 1:08:50 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Somebody asked me how I define myself. And I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined? When we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  Because identity's not a performance. It's an exploration. Never the same. But always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox intense. And the new sweet chemistry by Prada.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:04Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 1:05Connor Wood?

  Can you do that sound again?

• 1:06Brooke Averick?

  No, I can't. That was like so got a rollin' in the moment.

• 1:08Connor Wood?

  I can do it, because I felt it.

• 1:31Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to know why I made that sound?

• 1:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:34Brooke Averick?

  I'm nauseous.

• 1:36Connor Wood?

  That's not a nauseous sound. That was not a nauseous sound.

• 1:38Brooke Averick?

  I'm just, I'm fed up, because it started last night.

• 1:41Connor Wood?

  Fed up? Oh, you're fed up with being nauseous?

• 1:42Brooke Averick?

  I'm fed up with being nauseous.

• 1:43Connor Wood?

  I'm tired of being tired.

• 1:44Brooke Averick?

  Because I'm not usually, like, if I'm nauseous... You know, sorry, you know, it's actually nauseated. If I'm nauseated, like, usually I'm gonna throw up or something. But like, this has just been like... Consistent. In a way that I'm not comfortable with.

• 1:57Connor Wood?

  It is nice having something consistent in your life, though.

• 1:59Brooke Averick?

  Not this. And then, you know, I just keep taking like tums and like random shit that I think is making it worse.

• 2:08Connor Wood?

  Tom's Did you know I threw up the other day?

• 2:12Brooke Averick?

  No, you didn't tell me.

• 2:13Connor Wood?

  Oh, how did I not tell you this? It's all

• 2:15Brooke Averick?

  Oh, on the floor?

• 2:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 2:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:19Connor Wood?

  I did tell you?

• 2:20Brooke Averick?

  Like when you were just choking? Like coughing?

• 2:24Connor Wood?

  No, no, no. Oh, my God, I've been throwing up a lot recently. I'm kind of in my barf era. Um, but and I like I like if I'm throwing up, it's like that is what you're, you know, when people are like, oh, my gosh, I was out like a light last night. I slept 10 hours like and someone always likes, there's always someone there's always someone in the room that goes, yeah, well, your body probably really needed that. Like there's, there's a reason.

• 2:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Connor Wood?

  I'm like that with throwing up.

• 2:48Brooke Averick?

  You're probably, you're probably really

• 2:50Connor Wood?

  You gotta listen to your body.

• 2:51Brooke Averick?

  Well, you know what I've always said? Why can't we just poop it out?

• 2:58Brooke Averick?

  There's no reason for it to come out of my mouth like that.

• 3:00Connor Wood?

  It's two completely different.

• 3:03Brooke Averick?

  There shouldn't have to be.

• 3:04Connor Wood?

  It's two companies that are not working. They're not

• 3:06Brooke Averick?

  That's what I'm saying. It shouldn't have to be. Communicate.

• 3:09Connor Wood?

  You're looking for a bit of a merger.

• 3:10Brooke Averick?

  I would like a merger. I will always choose the, the downstairs opportunity. I don't ever want to throw up again. Why did you throw up? I have one more minute to talk about throw up before I do it myself.

• 3:27Connor Wood?

  We, it was after the show in Denver and I obviously forgot about. Well, no, I don't think it had anything to do with the altitude. We were just like, it was the end of the night. We finished a show. I was with some friends and at the end of the night, they were like, the like, the lights turned on at the bar. It was like one in the morning. We finished the show at 12. So I was like, oh, my second beer. And I chugged my second beer. And then I got home and it's like, the beer was still like, I could have smuggled this beer into it into a stadium and then been like pulled drug and put it back into the cup and like continued to enjoy.

• 4:00Brooke Averick?

  That's disgusting.

• 4:02Connor Wood?

  It was disgusting, but like, it was like, it was like the beer, the beer was like, I'll just hang out here. Just in case you lay, if you decide you want to

• 4:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:10Connor Wood?

  Have it, have it your second try with me, you know? It was going to give me a second chance. It was fully. I lay down in bed and I go, something is afoot.

• 4:21Brooke Averick?

  That's the thing about nausea is like, sometimes you're like, something's not right, but I can't put my finger on it. And then you almost realize before it's too late.

• 4:29Connor Wood?

  Well, it was, it was like, there was a dark.

• 4:34Connor Wood?

  Weight in my room that was like kind of weighing on my gut. And then I was like, oh my gosh, this is. And I get up and like when you realize it's like, well, you better get to the toilet pretty fast. Cause then your brain's like, oh, I'm gonna barf before you get there on purpose.

• 4:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Connor Wood?

  To piss you off.

• 4:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:51Connor Wood?

  And I genuinely.

• 4:54Connor Wood?

  I had showered like before I got in bed. So I turned the corner really hot. And the floor's wet.

• 5:05Connor Wood?

  From the steam. I just can't believe I didn't tell you this.

• 5:09Brooke Averick?

  You didn't tell me this.

• 5:10Connor Wood?

  I turned the corner. I turned the corner, the floor's wet. I like, like my feet got out from under me. But I was like anticipating being over the toilet. So I was falling. And I was throwing up forward.

• 5:28Connor Wood?

  It was like, just gonna show you.

• 5:31Connor Wood?

  I'm like trying to cook it.

• 5:38Connor Wood?

  Oh my God.

• 5:40Connor Wood?

  My body knew how long it was gonna take to run to the toilet.

• 5:42Brooke Averick?

  Your body needed that. Your body needed that.

• 5:44Connor Wood?

  Just hold out for the finish line. I get in there, floor's wet.

• 5:50Connor Wood?

  Oh my God. And just like laying on the ground in this throw, just like on the wall. I was just like.

• 5:57Brooke Averick?

  It's gonna take a minute.

• 5:58Connor Wood?

  I did lay there.

• 6:01Brooke Averick?

  That's one of those moments where it's like, if a tree fell and no one was there, did it fall?

• 6:08Connor Wood?

  And then it's just humiliating. It's like when you cook dinner for one and you're like, I guess I'll clean it up.

• 6:16Brooke Averick?

  I completely know it.

• 6:18Connor Wood?

  No one can help me in this. Like this is your thing. So then I'm just like.

• 6:24Connor Wood?

  Okay, like, I guess I'll get to work.

• 6:27Brooke Averick?

  And now, and now I just have to move on.

• 6:30Connor Wood?

  Because like I have to, I have another whole day in this hotel. Like, I, I, I have to clean out my vomit on the wall. Like, by the way, toilet, you could brush your teeth with the water. None, none got into the toilet bowl. The whole side of the toilet looked like.

• 6:46Brooke Averick?

  I wish more than anything, there was footage.

• 6:49Connor Wood?

  It really looked like Art Basel down in my house. Like, the toilet was like spray painted, this cool, kind of like chunky texture. Oh, but it was, yeah.

• 7:00Brooke Averick?

  That was awesome.

• 7:01Connor Wood?

  I cannot believe I didn't, I don't know how that.

• 7:03Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm shocked I didn't get it. I threw up text.

• 7:07Brooke Averick?

  From you.

• 7:07Connor Wood?

  Well, it was just like late at night and it was, it was humiliating things. It was just like, oh. Like, I mean, that's, I'm just gonna, like, I just have to brush my teeth, get back in bed and go, like, I'm an adult. Like, that's my adult life now. Like, I just.

• 7:22Connor Wood?

  And I didn't expect that to be that funny to everyone, but like, it is funny. It's just like, that was something that I dealt with, like, completely solo.

• 7:29Brooke Averick?

  That's, like, would you have rather someone been there, honestly?

• 7:33Connor Wood?

  I would have, yeah, I would have loved if someone was able to capture me, like, completely defeated on the ground, just like throw up all over the wall. But I'm not like drunk, you know, I was just like, oh.

• 7:42Brooke Averick?

  Like shit. Yeah. Completely.

• 7:47Connor Wood?

  Just defeat.

• 7:48Brooke Averick?

  Def- pure defeat, like, surrender almost. Complete surrender.

• 7:54Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, that was good.

• 7:56Brooke Averick?

  Oh, thank you for sharing.

• 7:57Connor Wood?

  Well, I needed that really bad.

• 8:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no, your body, like, was craving it.

• 8:02Connor Wood?

  Well, yeah, and I also needed that, that laugh just now, because I I got out of the, I keep getting out of Ubers and like I leave stuff in every Uber I'm at.

• 8:11Brooke Averick?

  You do do that.

• 8:12Connor Wood?

  Do do.

• 8:14Brooke Averick?

  Just like, if you are a compulsive, like, leave stuff in Uber kind of guy, look.

• 8:21Connor Wood?

  So much easier said than done.

• 8:24Brooke Averick?

  Just look. You need to, like, wire your brain to be like, I leave things in Ubers, so I'm gonna look before I get out of the car.

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 8:32Brooke Averick?

  It's probably a lot easier said than done.

• 8:36Brooke Averick?

  But.

• 8:37Connor Wood?

  Man, it's just weird that I like.

• 8:38Brooke Averick?

  You're gonna try.

• 8:39Connor Wood?

  I know. I just do it every single time I'm in a car now and it's. Oh, it's so unfortunate because now I gotta like, I gotta call the Uber. And they're never anywhere close.

• 8:50Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 8:50Connor Wood?

  And it's not.

• 8:50Brooke Averick?

  Do you need your glasses that bad?

• 8:53Connor Wood?

  Well, I just, these are the glasses that I replace like once every two months and it's just like, it hasn't even been. The two months yet.

• 9:00Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:00Connor Wood?

  It's just, I'm disappointed in myself, I guess.

• 9:02Brooke Averick?

  I'm sorry. I like, sorry to interrupt really quickly. It's so hard to have a laugh like that right at the beginning of the episode. Cause now I'm like, okay, now what?

• 9:12Connor Wood?

  We have a lot to catch up with. Like, I'm back in the studio.

• 9:14Brooke Averick?

  I need you to cover your slit.

• 9:17Connor Wood?

  Wow. My gash.

• 9:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 9:19Connor Wood?

  Which, by the way, the European, I think.

• 9:21Brooke Averick?

  You needed stitches so bad.

• 9:23Connor Wood?

  Oh, so bad.

• 9:24Brooke Averick?

  Like so, so bad.

• 9:25Connor Wood?

  So I think I feel the way that you feel about vomiting, throwing up is how I feel about stitches. Like stitches to me are so, so, so, so insanely gross. You're showing up my body?

• 9:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's really.

• 9:38Connor Wood?

  Okay, Jeffrey Dahmer, get away from my arm.

• 9:40Brooke Averick?

  That's really, really horrible. And I've never gotten stitches, not like, knocked so much on wood. But I had to get something removed at the dermatologist and she was like, you need stitches? And I was just like, it's not, like, I'm not gonna happen, Championette? And so now I have these two, like, horrible scars. And that's the end of that story.

• 10:00Connor Wood?

  I have a horrible.

• 10:01Brooke Averick?

  But it might be worth, it might just be worth it. Cause they're like, pretty, like, tough to look at, the scars.

• 10:06Connor Wood?

  I know, but I, like, you have to put me under for stitches.

• 10:08Brooke Averick?

  You will have to put, you'll, you'll have to put me under. But the scars are really terrible.

• 10:13Connor Wood?

  And then we talk about anesthesia again.

• 10:17Connor Wood?

  Um, I'm scared of anesthesia.

• 10:18Brooke Averick?

  Anesthesia was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

• 10:21Connor Wood?

  Well, anesthesia, I forgot what someone diagnosed, like a new disease for me that I have now. Cause like, well, he has, over the course of the three years that we have been doing this podcast, this young woman or man, this young person has been collecting data on me. And they have come to the conclusion that, including whatever episode we talked about anesthesia.

• 10:45Connor Wood?

  That my, my unwavering, like, I am not affected by anesthesia. It takes a lot of anesthesia to put me under. And they're like, well, this, this just cracked the code for, the case for me.

• 10:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Connor Wood?

  You have this new thing.

• 10:58Brooke Averick?

  Isn't that L R S, L R S D?

• 11:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah, which everyone seems to be very convinced. And like, you guys, I. Great, then I have it. There's no cure. Everyone's like, you just deal with it. I'm like, okay, cool. Well, then that's the end of that conversation.

• 11:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but I think like, once you know, there are things-

• 11:14Connor Wood?

  You know, you know.

• 11:15Brooke Averick?

  But I have a new diagnosis for you that I wrote down in our notes.

• 11:19Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 11:19Brooke Averick?

  You have been casting, what is it, glass stones? You've been throwing stones at my glass box.

• 11:28Brooke Averick?

  You are, have been looking me in the eyes. Every time I say I'm so drained, you're saying you're iron deficient. And I'm saying, no, I'm depressed. We go back and forth, okay? I'm not iron deficient. You are.

• 11:41Connor Wood?

  Are you-

• 11:42Brooke Averick?

  Huge symptom of iron deficiency, itchy feet.

• 11:48Brooke Averick?

  Saw it on TikTok, it must be true.

• 11:53Connor Wood?

  You think I was projecting my iron deficiency onto you?

• 11:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I do. Cause I, and I verified with blood tests, I'm not iron deficient.

• 12:01Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'll go get a blood test.

• 12:04Brooke Averick?

  You, you have iron, an iron deficiency, my brother?

• 12:09Connor Wood?

  You're iron deficient?

• 12:11Brooke Averick?

  And I hate to be the one to tell you that. It brings me no joy.

• 12:14Connor Wood?

  You're smiling ear to ear right now, telling me I'm iron deficient.

• 12:18Brooke Averick?

  It brings me no joy to tell you this.

• 12:20Connor Wood?

  I didn't want to tell you, but I put it in there. I've been on the edge of my fucking teeth to tell you.

• 12:24Brooke Averick?

  I've been shaking with anticipation.

• 12:27Connor Wood?

  You're lacking a heavy metal honey bear.

• 12:30Brooke Averick?

  You are, baby. Abnormal paleness or lack of color of the skin.

• 12:36Connor Wood?

  Huge swollen, fat disgusting ass.

• 12:39Brooke Averick?

  Huge spleen.

• 12:41Connor Wood?

  Your spleen is so gross. Everyone's been noticing.

• 12:44Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, it's just something to think about.

• 12:46Connor Wood?

  This thing where it's like, okay, lack of color, yeah, I can track that. Irritability? That's not gonna help anyone here. Lack of energy, that, increased heart rate?

• 12:58Brooke Averick?

  I would say it's hard when both of us could have literally anything.

• 13:02Connor Wood?

  No, I was thinking this yesterday, because there's a new disease going around New York called lesionaires, which like, that's-

• 13:09Brooke Averick?

  Heard of that.

• 13:10Connor Wood?

  That sounds like a end of the world type disease, and it's from, it's not contagious person to person, but it's from breathing in particles like, like, uh, lick, like, I think liquid particles.

• 13:22Brooke Averick?

  What is it?

• 13:22Connor Wood?

  In the air. I don't, but no, the symptoms are literally COVID. Coughing, uh, exhaustion, brain fog.

• 13:34Connor Wood?

  Huge and large disgusting spleen.

• 13:38Connor Wood?

  Um, yeah, it's, yeah. And I say, I, I wouldn't even notice if I was genuinely sick like that because that's just my day to day.

• 13:45Brooke Averick?

  I know. It's so sad.

• 13:48Brooke Averick?

  I pray you get a blood test.

• 13:49Connor Wood?

  I'll get a blood test. I'll get a blood test. I am going to-

• 13:51Brooke Averick?

  We should go do that, like, for a vlog.

• 13:54Connor Wood?

  What the greatest thing ever about me going to the doctor, to the dentist, whatever, is that like, I, I say this every, to the therapist, every single time I go to any of these places, it's like,

• 14:05Connor Wood?

  God enters me

• 14:08Connor Wood?

  in a comedic way. And he's just like, you're about to put on the funniest 15 minute set that no one will ever see of your life. And it's just like, I want to know if my doctor like leaves that room and she's like,

• 14:21Connor Wood?

  "God, that kid's going to play." Like, that was just like, just such a treat.

• 14:26Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure they do.

• 14:27Connor Wood?

  Even though she's like, probably like, "What a waste of my time."

• 14:31Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm sure you make their day, honestly, because when I go to the doctor, I'm so dead silent. It's like incredible.

• 14:39Brooke Averick?

  Like, I lose all personality at any appointment.

• 14:42Connor Wood?

  I went in, um, to get my medication. The only thing that's been really working for me, and she goes, "Whoa." I go, "What?" She's like, "One, I can't believe you took all that already."

• 14:53Brooke Averick?

  What medication?

• 14:55Connor Wood?

  Um, the anti-anxiety stuff that I got for flying. But I was like, I tell you, I told you, I fly,

• 15:02Connor Wood?

  I fly once a week somewhere during tour. And you're surprised I took 10 pills?

• 15:10Connor Wood?

  Okay. Um, but then she goes, but the whoa was, she gave me like the highest dose. And she's like, that's like people that have been on it forever. But it didn't even, they, they don't even, I probably shouldn't even be saying this on,

• 15:24Connor Wood?

  like, that my medicate, it's okay, right? It's prescribed to me.

• 15:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Connor Wood?

  Um, and it doesn't make me tired. Like, it makes me feel completely normal and good.

• 15:31Brooke Averick?

  That's good, then.

• 15:33Connor Wood?

  Now, I was like, I really think you nailed the dosage, actually.

• 15:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Good, very good job.

• 15:37Connor Wood?

  Well done, doc.

• 15:38Brooke Averick?

  Very well done.

• 15:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 15:42Connor Wood?

  Anyways, so I will, I'll go back in, I'll get a blood test. Is it normal for a doctor's appointment to only be 15 minutes?

• 15:48Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 15:48Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 15:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, they're in and out.

• 15:52Connor Wood?

  Maybe stuff is different in Texas, because I remember-

• 15:54Brooke Averick?

  Honestly, the doctor usually is only in there for like five. I feel like I spend more time with the nurse practitioner usually.

• 15:59Connor Wood?

  Nurse practitioner doesn't really like my jokes as much, so I'm like, happy to see them go. But the doctor comes in and sits down, I'm like, I'm glad you're seated right now, because I have-

• 16:07Brooke Averick?

  I'm about to treat your-

• 16:07Connor Wood?

  My opener is gonna like knock your socks off. My opening line's about to knock your socks off. My cold open.

• 16:17Connor Wood?

  But what's great is that, remember when I, just like two years ago, that doctor said I had high triglycerides-

• 16:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Connor Wood?

  -in my heart? You know, no doctor's ever said that ever again, and I've mentioned it, and it's on my records, and they're like, you don't have that at all. I think I was going to like, an underground black market doctor.

• 16:34Brooke Averick?

  No, I think like, that's cholesterol, right?

• 16:37Connor Wood?

  It's cholesterol adjacent.

• 16:39Brooke Averick?

  That changes.

• 16:41Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but that doctor was like, "Do you have a history of this in your family?" "No." And he was like, "Do you eat like, Arby's for every meal?" And I was like, "Do I look like I eat Arby's for every meal?" "What are you prescribing me with?" And he was like, "High triglycerides." And I was like, "And what do you mean by that? That could mean anything. Triglycerides could be-

• 17:03Connor Wood?

  Healthy. Triglycerides could be a supplement that I take, that I want more of.

• 17:07Brooke Averick?

  I think you just had high cholesterol then.

• 17:08Connor Wood?

  I think you just had-

• 17:10Brooke Averick?

  I think, uh, I, mama think ya-

• 17:12Connor Wood?

  Mama, mama think ya, I am deficient.

• 17:15Brooke Averick?

  You woke up that day with high triglycerides. And that's fine to do if your body wants to, your body needed it.

• 17:21Connor Wood?

  Here's the thing, they should have like, me giving advice to the doctor community, you guys should have a way where like, if I come in at 11 a.m., I've obviously had a Celsius and two black coffees, my heart rate's gonna be pretty high.

• 17:34Brooke Averick?

  And also, you're at the doctor, which makes most people nervous.

• 17:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and I've just walked up the stairs.

• 17:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:40Connor Wood?

  Because I had Arby's for breakfast.

• 17:41Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 17:42Connor Wood?

  But I, you know, like, yeah, you gotta like, offset that.

• 17:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:46Connor Wood?

  Just like, take that into consideration, like when you weigh a turtle or something, you gotta take out the weight of the tank that you're weighing the turtle in.

• 17:53Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 17:54Connor Wood?

  Like, you weigh the tank first.

• 17:56Brooke Averick?

  Control, you need to control.

• 17:57Connor Wood?

  Chat, you betcha.

• 17:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:02Speaker 00

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• 19:01Connor Wood?

  I was thinking about Texas yesterday too, because I don't think we've ever talked about this on the podcast.

• 19:06Brooke Averick?

  Never been to Texas.

• 19:08Connor Wood?

  Whoa!

• 19:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Just the airport.

• 19:11Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, you should come...

• 19:13Brooke Averick?

  I know, I need to.

• 19:15Connor Wood?

  This year for ACL, Austin City.

• 19:17Brooke Averick?

  I really should. I can't do that.

• 19:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Brooke Averick?

  Because I have a wedding both weekends.

• 19:24Connor Wood?

  Anyone I know? No?

• 19:28Brooke Averick?

  I don't think so. I think you've met Kelly. Kelly and Jen as well.

• 19:32Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah.

• 19:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:33Connor Wood?

  I've met them both.

• 19:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:34Connor Wood?

  That will be fun.

• 19:35Brooke Averick?

  It will be amazing.

• 19:37Connor Wood?

  Wow, you're like, you're having a lot of weddings recently.

• 19:40Brooke Averick?

  Um...

• 19:40Connor Wood?

  You're experiencing a lot of weddings.

• 19:41Brooke Averick?

  Last wedding I went to was in October. It is about to be September.

• 19:49Connor Wood?

  Time is, time is flying but also going so slow at the same time.

• 19:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:53Connor Wood?

  Is anyone else having that time warp experience recently?

• 19:57Brooke Averick?

  I just never know what month it is.

• 20:00Brooke Averick?

  Especially in LA.

• 20:02Connor Wood?

  I had to get something notarized, 10 pages of a document, and on every page,

• 20:08Connor Wood?

  I wrote February.

• 20:09Brooke Averick?

  February, that's not one that I'm typically drawn to.

• 20:12Connor Wood?

  I wrote February on 10 pages of a document, 2. I wrote 2 dash the date it is today dash 25. Notarized it, which took forever, faxed it. No, I one day mailed it, I express mailed it. They called, "Why did you put February? Like, that nullifies this whole document. Why did the notary not realize this?" And I was like, I genuinely, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't, I don't even know why I did that.

• 20:39Brooke Averick?

  Can anyone be a notary?

• 20:42Connor Wood?

  No, it takes a special kind of man.

• 20:45Brooke Averick?

  Your hat. What does JH stand for?

• 20:48Connor Wood?

  Just hanging.

• 20:49Brooke Averick?

  Does it actually?

• 20:49Connor Wood?

  Jackson Hole.

• 20:50Brooke Averick?

  I'm thinking of Josh Hutcherson. Not anyone can become a notary public.

• 20:55Connor Wood?

  Notary public.

• 20:57Brooke Averick?

  Fulfilling special eligibility requirement.

• 21:02Brooke Averick?

  Fulfilling specific eligibility requirements.

• 21:06Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 21:07Brooke Averick?

  You have to be at least 18, legal resident, etc.

• 21:13Connor Wood?

  Okay, so you just have to be, yeah, I mean, it's just like anything else.

• 21:17Brooke Averick?

  Back to Josh Hutcherson.

• 21:19Connor Wood?

  Back to the Texas.

• 21:20Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 21:21Connor Wood?

  You can do Josh Hutcherson, because I'm not gonna forget what I was gonna say, but you might forget.

• 21:25Brooke Averick?

  Well, I, it's like, I will not forget Josh Hutcherson. Don't get twisted.

• 21:29Connor Wood?

  I'm about to pass out.

• 21:30Brooke Averick?

  Are you? I'm so nauseous.

• 21:33Connor Wood?

  Can I suck on a penny?

• 21:39Brooke Averick?

  Take an iron supplement, my god.

• 21:41Connor Wood?

  What the f- don't come at me like that.

• 21:44Brooke Averick?

  It's a gummy.

• 21:46Connor Wood?

  Take a f-

• 21:49Connor Wood?

  No, you can't extract enough from a penny to sucking on it.

• 21:52Brooke Averick?

  It's like, why does your brain go, can I suck on a penny? Get a iron one.

• 21:57Connor Wood?

  Probably because I'm iron deficient. That is why my brain wants me to eat a penny or two.

• 22:01Brooke Averick?

  My god.

• 22:02Connor Wood?

  That's just my two cents.

• 22:03Brooke Averick?

  Talk about making things difficult for yourself.

• 22:05Connor Wood?

  That's just my two cents.

• 22:08Brooke Averick?

  Now that's hysterical. Tell me about Texas.

• 22:10Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, hang on. I desire to eat a particular substance such as dirt or ice, a condition called pica.

• 22:17Brooke Averick?

  Ooh.

• 22:18Connor Wood?

  Pica, pica. Um, yeah, I have pica.

• 22:23Brooke Averick?

  You want to eat dirt?

• 22:24Connor Wood?

  What?

• 22:25Brooke Averick?

  You want to eat dirt?

• 22:28Brooke Averick?

  Have we done something eat dirt before? Reminder eat dirt. Reminder eat dirt?

• 22:34Connor Wood?

  No, it wasn't reminder eat dirt. Don't get it twisted, y'all. It was just reminder dirt.

• 22:41Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 22:42Connor Wood?

  I promise.

• 22:44Connor Wood?

  Reminder dirt.

• 22:45Brooke Averick?

  Eat dirt sounds really familiar to me.

• 22:48Connor Wood?

  It wasn't eat dirt.

• 22:49Brooke Averick?

  Have we told someone to eat dirt?

• 22:55Brooke Averick?

  Why are you flicking that at me? What was that?

• 22:56Connor Wood?

  My bean.

• 22:59Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God. I have also something to say about beans after you. Okay, reminder dirt. Please say something about Texas, then I can talk about Josh Hutcherson.

• 23:07Connor Wood?

  Okay, hang on. You guys, welcome back to Breaking Connor Make a Podcast. Thank you for listening for the past 20 minutes. Like, obviously, I don't know how we got here. I don't know where we're going, but we're glad you're here and you're back. I'm in the, I'm in the office today.

• 23:20Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 23:22Brooke Averick?

  If you're not watching, Connor's sitting in the stew next to me.

• 23:26Connor Wood?

  If you're not in the studio, where the hell, where the hell are you even?

• 23:29Brooke Averick?

  I'm begging you to say something about Texas, because I'm about to burst with what I need to say.

• 23:35Connor Wood?

  What is one another sign of iron deficiency irritability? Maybe you should suck on a penny.

• 23:40Brooke Averick?

  I'm not irritable.

• 23:40Connor Wood?

  Maybe you should suck on a nickel.

• 23:41Brooke Averick?

  I'm not irritable. I'm impatient.

• 23:44Connor Wood?

  Are nick, is, are nick, are nickels made out of nickel?

• 23:48Connor Wood?

  Or aluminum? Nickels, despite their name, aren't made out of nickel. They're primarily made out of copper, nickel alloy. What am I, did I say any of those words right?

• 23:57Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna go on my phone.

• 23:59Connor Wood?

  No, no.

• 24:00Brooke Averick?

  Figure your shit out.

• 24:01Connor Wood?

  Okay, or is one of the signs of iron deficiency, I need to be on my phone? Is one of the iron deficiency signs, like, I need blue lights soaking in through my retinas?

• 24:09Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying to do a podcast, like, we're.

• 24:15Brooke Averick?

  We have topics to discuss. We're talking about nickels. I have things to say, places to be.

• 24:25Brooke Averick?

  Start talking about Texas, or I'm gonna freak out.

• 24:27Connor Wood?

  I had no idea she was trying to do a podcast.

• 24:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I am.

• 24:31Connor Wood?

  Oh, I had no idea.

• 24:32Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna go on my phone.

• 24:34Connor Wood?

  No, okay, so in Texas.

• 24:38Connor Wood?

  Can we turn the AC down? I guess I'm.

• 24:40Brooke Averick?

  Take your sweater off.

• 24:41Connor Wood?

  Oh, I can't.

• 24:42Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 24:43Connor Wood?

  Because I slept in this shirt last, the shirt, undershirt last night, and I sweat right through it, bullets.

• 24:48Brooke Averick?

  I've been sweating so bad.

• 24:50Connor Wood?

  It's a sign of iron deficiency.

• 24:54Brooke Averick?

  We, us both getting blood tests, like the two most iron deficient people that have ever like walked US soil.

• 25:04Brooke Averick?

  It's a miracle that these two are alive with the levels of iron in their body.

• 25:08Connor Wood?

  Completely like pale in the face, like huge spleens.

• 25:20Connor Wood?

  Taking our huge fat spleens on a walk. enlarged.

• 25:25Brooke Averick?

  Like how have you guys been carrying around these hugely massive fat spleens for so long?

• 25:33Brooke Averick?

  These two have the fattest spleen, please tell me about that.

• 25:37Connor Wood?

  You have never seen spleens like this. Our spleens are so big, they begin to, they begin to conjoin, congeal.

• 25:45Connor Wood?

  To one double spleen. Okay. Hey, so in Texas.

• 25:52Connor Wood?

  We used to, every morning we got up, we said that, did you guys say the pledge of allegiance?

• 25:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, in like kindergarten though, only.

• 25:58Connor Wood?

  We said it every, I think we said it through high school, like every single day. There was two flags in our, uh, every, every classroom. I think we did it in third period every day. They did it over the intercom, stood up, hand over your heart hat. Well, we couldn't wear hats in school. And then, um, we'd do the American pledge of allegiance and then we would do the Texas pledge of allegiance.

• 26:21Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 26:22Connor Wood?

  So you know, we would pledge our allegiance to our country and then we'd say, but we're also like to take it one step further. I pledge allegiance to the one state under God, one and individual. No, I pledge allegiance to the Texas flag. One state under, and then so it's like.

• 26:39Connor Wood?

  Like we never thought about it, but that's like two conflicting ideas. Like here we're, we're national, but also we're like. Independent, like we, we ride for our, our motherfucking boys here in Texas.

• 26:49Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 26:50Connor Wood?

  And then we did a, we did a minute of silence.

• 26:56Connor Wood?

  Which if you're ever trying to laugh as hard as you possibly can, like you need to do the moment of silence when you're supposed to be deep in prayer.

• 27:02Brooke Averick?

  Imagine our 45 minute moment of silence a week.

• 27:05Connor Wood?

  Holy moly.

• 27:06Brooke Averick?

  I have never had the giggles like I did in those moments.

• 27:12Connor Wood?

  That's the hardest you'll ever laugh.

• 27:13Brooke Averick?

  And when you're on the facing bench too, which is the one bench that faces the rest of everyone else, they pick like 10 kids to be there.

• 27:20Connor Wood?

  And it's always one kid that's like, like looking at you, you look up and like they're already looking at you.

• 27:27Brooke Averick?

  I was on the facing bench when that one teacher came out.

• 27:30Connor Wood?

  The facing bench?

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:33Connor Wood?

  My heavens, the bats.

• 27:35Brooke Averick?

  Anyway, keep going.

• 27:36Connor Wood?

  Oh, well, the one teacher came out of the closet.

• 27:38Brooke Averick?

  No, remember when he was like, came out to as, we thought he was coming out, but then he was like, call me Mike. I was on the facing bench for that.

• 27:47Connor Wood?

  Did you pee?

• 27:47Brooke Averick?

  I was like, I literally, I don't know how I did it. I was digging my nails into my thighs and making myself bleed.

• 27:57Connor Wood?

  I don't know how as an adult I'll ever feel that experience again. Cause I think any, anytime that would happen to me now where it's, I have to be quiet for something, it's, it's probably going to be like a very serious, like heavy situation. Funeral. Wedding was the last, okay. Matt Kane's wedding was the last time I experienced like complete and utter crossing my legs and not peeing my pants and it was because Tristan and the mic kept going out.

• 28:22Brooke Averick?

  Do boys have to cross their legs on to pee their pants?

• 28:24Connor Wood?

  Well, I already had to pee and it was like a horrible time because we're all watching the parents give the speeches that are like, I always wanted this for my daughter. I like, the moment I met my son's, you know, wife, like I always knew, but um, I think it was, was it Matt King's dad that was talking?

• 28:39Brooke Averick?

  That was Patricia's dad.

• 28:40Connor Wood?

  It was Patricia's dad and he's going, the moment I met Matt, I, Mike goes out like, and it was just like, and then he walked up and he said, and Tristan kept going, and then he turned the corner. And then he was, and then I said, and I don't know what in that, in that moment, the just Tristan's delivery made me.

• 28:59Brooke Averick?

  You and Tristan really can tickle each other.

• 29:02Connor Wood?

  Holy friggin' air ball. Like I was just, like I couldn't, I was punching him in the leg. Like you fucking stop. Like I really like, this is not appropriate. No one else is doing this. Like no one thinks this is funny. That's the thing.

• 29:17Brooke Averick?

  No one thinks this is funny. You're sobbing.

• 29:19Connor Wood?

  No, no one else thinks it's funny that we're laughing. Usually like if I see two people laughing, I'm like.

• 29:26Connor Wood?

  That's girlhood, you know? Not us. Like, we were like, people like, are you serious? Have some decorum, act like you've been outside before. I'm like, eyes, spleen protruding out of my body, like, eyes popping out. Can't breathe, that one vein in my forehead, when I laugh really hard, just like, pumping blood, you can see it, my heartbeat in my forehead. Oh, it was so funny.

• 29:51Brooke Averick?

  I told you about the assembly that I had the giggles really bad.

• 29:55Connor Wood?

  The assembly?

• 29:56Brooke Averick?

  The assembly?

• 29:57Connor Wood?

  Yep.

• 29:57Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 29:58Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 29:59Brooke Averick?

  Well, I'll tell you.

• 30:00Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 30:00Brooke Averick?

  I've probably told it like fifteen times, but the good news is, like, we won't remember that.

• 30:04Connor Wood?

  It'll be like the first time hearing it.

• 30:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it was like, end of school, and we had some sort of like, end of school assembly, and the headmaster at the beginning, like, was like, I want to take a moment of silence. Um, we lost, like, an incredible member of our community recently, and everyone was like, oh, my god, like, what happened? And he's going on, like, this member has been a fixture, a pillar of our campus, like, blah, blah, blah, like, how important this, uh, figure has been to the school, like, foundational to the integrity of the school. Then throws up on the, uh, PowerPoint of a tree. Then, full tree that's just been out, um, in the yard for a while, next slide, stump.

• 30:53Brooke Averick?

  The tree had been cut down, and so that's who he was talking about? That was the pillar of the community that he went on for ten minutes about, we have just lost the pillar. Now, let's do five minutes of moments of silence. We have to look at the stump.

• 31:09Brooke Averick?

  We have to look at the stump and do five minutes of moment of silence.

• 31:13Connor Wood?

  Wait, what?

• 31:13Brooke Averick?

  After thinking we had lost a human.

• 31:15Connor Wood?

  Who threw up? You threw up?

• 31:18Brooke Averick?

  What are you talking about?

• 31:20Connor Wood?

  Oh, throw up on the, on the PowerPoint?

• 31:23Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah, he threw up, I'm sorry.

• 31:24Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm like-

• 31:25Brooke Averick?

  He projected the image-

• 31:26Connor Wood?

  He said, we, we lost a community member, ugh!

• 31:28Brooke Averick?

  No, he projected the image of the tree in its glory, and then, followed by the stump, and the imagery of the stump stayed with us-

• 31:37Connor Wood?

  You understand-

• 31:38Brooke Averick?

  On the screen as we observed it in a moment of five minutes of silence.

• 31:41Connor Wood?

  You understood how I made that leap after we've had-

• 31:43Brooke Averick?

  Sorry.

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  Half of the show today has been about vomiting. Okay. That's hilarious. Your school is so mind blowing to me. Every time I hear a new story about your It's just like, did you ever learn math?

• 31:55Brooke Averick?

  I don't, genuinely, I don't think so. Like, I don't know what I learned.

• 32:00Connor Wood?

  Cause every time I hear about your school, it's like

• 32:03Brooke Averick?

  I do think I learned how to write there.

• 32:05Connor Wood?

  Like 45 minutes of reflection and then like an hour of silence. I'm like, one was, one was at a school?

• 32:12Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 32:15Connor Wood?

  It sounds like a monastery.

• 32:16Brooke Averick?

  Well, the reason I went there is because like the early childhood piece of that is like very like emotional intelligence and that's what I needed at the time. And then I just ended up staying there. Like the teachers were really in tune with the kids emotionally and that's what I needed at that time in my life. And then I didn't really

• 32:36Connor Wood?

  Me when I lie on my resume? I think instead of doing calculus, I think we should be, we should do some, another year of emotions.

• 32:43Brooke Averick?

  We did do calculus and some people did calculus. Some people only did pre calc, but definitely some people do calculus.

• 32:50Connor Wood?

  Hey, you don't have to tell me twice. I took, I took calculus four times. So I was like, I need to be

• 32:54Brooke Averick?

  I might, I actually don't know.

• 32:57Connor Wood?

  On, on, on the play on words section, when you set the row up versus like, display something. I, you just reminded me when someone said they lost someone. We were at one of my shows and one of the employees of the comedy club walked up and it's our like second time meeting and he goes, yeah, I just lost my fiance last night. And I go, oh my God. And there's a security guard woman who's just like this like tough broad and she goes, oh honey, oh my gosh, what happened? He goes, we just broke up last night. And she goes, oh Jesus, I thought she was missing. I said, let's go find this bitch. She just like full blown was just like went off on him. Like, I thought she died too. I was like, oh, this is like, we need to

• 33:42Connor Wood?

  I couldn't tell, like, I was like, did you say we lost, you lost her? Well, the security guard was like, oh, like, she's, let's go find her. I was like, oh, Kevin's like.

• 33:53Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Kevin's?

• 33:54Connor Wood?

  Oh, Kevin.

• 33:56Brooke Averick?

  Kevin's to Betsy.

• 33:58Connor Wood?

  Kevin's to Betsy. I was like, this is not good. This is like, well, because I was in another situation where I have given off a vibe where someone is, is, it's trauma dumping to me yet again. And now I can't, it is a one-on-one.

• 34:10Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 34:11Connor Wood?

  Situation. I'm always in one-on-ones.

• 34:14Brooke Averick?

  You are always in one-on-ones.

• 34:16Connor Wood?

  It's, it's really bad.

• 34:18Brooke Averick?

  Did you finish talking about Texas?

• 34:21Connor Wood?

  I was just gonna say, I didn't realize, I was talking about the Texas pledge to someone the other day, and I was like, oh, my God. You didn't pledge your allegiance to Pennsylvania, you know?

• 34:29Brooke Averick?

  Right, no.

• 34:32Connor Wood?

  Just Texas.

• 34:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, well, Texas has that thing about like being Texas.

• 34:37Connor Wood?

  Secede.

• 34:38Brooke Averick?

  Like you had Texas history and stuff like that.

• 34:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, well, that feels almost like as weird, well, I guess Texas like had little battles and stuff. I don't think like, like Idaho didn't have any like the battle of the potato, you know?

• 34:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 34:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 34:55Connor Wood?

  You know, like, there wasn't anything. So I guess that they don't have any like, and I don't want to talk about Idaho history or Ohio history and look gloss over something. I didn't take those classes. Texas history is like the Alamo, you know? And we like battled Mexico.

• 35:11Brooke Averick?

  I guess we talked about like Gettys, we went to Gettysburg and stuff like that.

• 35:13Connor Wood?

  You, that makes sense. Well, you're, you were on the, you were in New England, right? Isn't Pennsylvania New England?

• 35:17Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not.

• 35:19Connor Wood?

  What's New England? What states make up New England?

• 35:20Brooke Averick?

  I think New England starts in Connecticut. Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, shit like that.

• 35:30Connor Wood?

  Pennsylvania's really close, though.

• 35:31Brooke Averick?

  It is pretty close, yeah. Oh, not me naming every single one.

• 35:36Connor Wood?

  How did you do that?

• 35:38Brooke Averick?

  Uh, I went to like a really good school where like we learned so much information.

• 35:44Connor Wood?

  We had a lot of time to reflect on the states that make up New England.

• 35:48Brooke Averick?

  Can I tell you about like Josh Hutcherson and MyBean?

• 35:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Oh, are they, those two things are related?

• 35:54Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 35:54Connor Wood?

  Okay, cool. Yeah, hit me.

• 35:56Brooke Averick?

  First, I'm on this, the most insane side of TikTok, which I don't understand, but I like. It's all these edits, like ship edits of Draco Malfoy and Simon the Chipmunk.

• 36:07Connor Wood?

  I saw these.

• 36:09Brooke Averick?

  You did?

• 36:09Connor Wood?

  You posted a bunch of them.

• 36:10Brooke Averick?

  Like romantic and kissing and stuff like that?

• 36:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 36:12Brooke Averick?

  And I don't know where it came from, but like it's a real thing that people are involved in. And sometimes they expand. Sometimes Josh Hutcherson is in them. Sometimes Jeremiah from the Summer I Turned Pretty is in them. Sometimes Jojo Siwa is in them. And I don't know what, like, what are y'all doing together? Like, what? What makes these particular individuals a unit? That is unifying them in these edits? Like, how did we get here?

• 36:41Connor Wood?

  I think it's probably-

• 36:41Brooke Averick?

  And why did it start with Simon and Malfoy? And why are they kissing on the lips?

• 36:50Connor Wood?

  It's impossible to say.

• 36:52Brooke Averick?

  I just am trying, I want to know, I'm sure someone knows, like, where did it originate?

• 36:56Connor Wood?

  No, I bet it was one person that was like, either one, this is funny, or two, like, I'm attracted to this chipmunk and Malfoy.

• 37:02Brooke Averick?

  But I understand, like, some of them make sense to me, like Jeremiah and Jojo Siwa, like, they make sense to be together in these edits. Like, Simon is an incredible person. Like, Simon is like-

• 37:17Connor Wood?

  Salt of the air.

• 37:18Brooke Averick?

  Simon doesn't fit into me. He's salt of the earth. Whereas I can see critiques of the others, not including Josh Hutcherson, though, so I don't really know. Josh Hutcherson is also amazing. So I don't know.

• 37:31Connor Wood?

  He's like, he's like in that group, sorry to, I'm not, I'm saying on Josh. Josh Hutcherson?

• 37:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:39Connor Wood?

  He's like in that group of people that are doing these indie movies now. Have you noticed that?

• 37:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:43Connor Wood?

  It's fabulous.

• 37:44Brooke Averick?

  It's amazing.

• 37:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm really into it. And he's just like so low-key and cool.

• 37:49Brooke Averick?

  I really love him.

• 37:50Connor Wood?

  And he's like the most offline person ever.

• 37:54Brooke Averick?

  I love that about him. It's just one of the many things I love about Josh Hutcherson.

• 37:58Connor Wood?

  Because of that, it's like funny how he ended up in the like Rachel Sennett, like JT Firstman crew.

• 38:02Brooke Averick?

  Right. Interesting.

• 38:04Connor Wood?

  Outside of him just being like an A-list.

• 38:05Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he lurks. I love a good lurker.

• 38:08Connor Wood?

  I don't think he lurks. I don't think he lurks.

• 38:11Brooke Averick?

  I think most people lurk.

• 38:12Connor Wood?

  You think most people lurk? That's interesting.

• 38:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I do.

• 38:15Connor Wood?

  That scares me too because who's, who's here right now?

• 38:19Brooke Averick?

  There's a flea.

• 38:20Connor Wood?

  No, stop saying flea.

• 38:22Brooke Averick?

  Look.

• 38:24Connor Wood?

  Where? Where?

• 38:25Brooke Averick?

  I just saw it hopping.

• 38:26Connor Wood?

  No, it wasn't hopping. That's a fly that's been kind of landing here and there.

• 38:30Brooke Averick?

  Okay, now Bean.

• 38:32Connor Wood?

  Bean, right. Hit me with, hit me with the bean.

• 38:34Brooke Averick?

  There's a new app

• 38:37Brooke Averick?

  that Hank Green made. And it's called Focus Friend. And you have this bean, it's like, it's like one of those cozy game kind of vibes. You have this bean. And the longer you stay off your phone, the more that, the more knitting that the bean can get done. The bean knits socks. When you pick up your phone, the bean stops knitting the socks. And you can trade in all of your knitting projects and the socks and scarves if you upgrade to the premium version. And you can buy decorations for your room. So the more that you don't pick up your phone, the more you knit and the more decorations you can buy for your room. It's amazing. So the more you don't pick up your phone, like the cooler your room gets for your bean. And you can buy stuff and, but every time you pick up your phone, it stops knitting and loses its progress.

• 39:22Connor Wood?

  It's like almost counterintuitive, but it's not.

• 39:24Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean?

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  Like, it's like, oh, you have, because I want to, I want to, if my room turns out really cool, I want to spend time in my room on my phone.

• 39:31Brooke Averick?

  Well, you can when it's time to be on your phone. But you have to set, you set focus timers.

• 39:36Connor Wood?

  I see. Okay.

• 39:37Brooke Averick?

  You're like, I want to focus for one hour. Your bean starts knitting for one hour, but when you pick up your phone, like your bean's just not constantly knitting. It's when you set the focus.

• 39:46Connor Wood?

  Bean can't constantly be knitting.

• 39:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, your bean can't constantly be knitting.

• 39:49Connor Wood?

  You need to give your bean a rest.

• 39:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so you set focus timers, which is, this has been amazing for me because you know, I have my lockbox to put my phone in. But sometimes it's like, what, what's the incentive for me to put it in the box? Like it, I don't even, it's in my hands right now and it's too hard to get it into the box. No, once I press go on my bean, putting it in the box is an amazing thing to do because then I really won't touch my phone. And my bean will get so much knitting done.

• 40:15Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, this is like such a hank green app.

• 40:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's so brilliant.

• 40:19Connor Wood?

  It is like really, like not to make everything about us, but I, it does feel like adjacent to things that we talk about on here just 24/7.

• 40:26Brooke Averick?

  Like beans and knitting?

• 40:27Connor Wood?

  Beans, knitting and being off our phones and staying focused.

• 40:30Brooke Averick?

  And on them too.

• 40:31Connor Wood?

  And on, on them.

• 40:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and cozy games. That's, I think, by the way, my cozy, uh, my tiny bookshop, that's the most influential I've ever been.

• 40:43Connor Wood?

  I, I really think you moved the needle on that video game because I, I've not seen any of our comments be like, what is she talking about? I need it.

• 40:49Brooke Averick?

  You haven't seen that?

• 40:50Connor Wood?

  I haven't seen, like everyone in a, because we gave no context on that. The, the clip was so funny by itself, but like I realized at the end, I was like, wait, I know what she's talking about. But if you were just to come across that clip, you wouldn't know that you were talking about a video game. I would have thought that you were a small, small business owner.

• 41:07Brooke Averick?

  This is the most I think I've ever seen people like DMing me and posting like playing tiny bookshop. And it's like the, it's an honor to have spread the gospel.

• 41:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 41:17Brooke Averick?

  I solved the, uh, the murder case of the mega marquee mascot.

• 41:22Connor Wood?

  Good.

• 41:22Brooke Averick?

  It was Tilda.

• 41:24Connor Wood?

  Fuck her.

• 41:24Brooke Averick?

  And the murder weapon was in the trash can at the mega marquee.

• 41:27Connor Wood?

  That's careless.

• 41:28Brooke Averick?

  I didn't know I could knock it over. So that's been amazing.

• 41:31Connor Wood?

  That's careless.

• 41:32Brooke Averick?

  That's careless.

• 41:33Connor Wood?

  Careless to put the murder weapon into the trash can.

• 41:35Brooke Averick?

  It was Miriam's knife too, which was crazy. Tilda had borrowed it.

• 41:40Connor Wood?

  Hello.

• 41:41Brooke Averick?

  I did not turn her in. I had the option to, but I did not.

• 41:44Connor Wood?

  Well, now you're an accomplice if you didn't turn her in.

• 41:46Brooke Averick?

  I, I don't feel that way. It wasn't a human that she killed.

• 41:51Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 41:51Brooke Averick?

  It was that thing that like that's outside of like car washes.

• 41:55Connor Wood?

  Oh, right. She slashed it.

• 41:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, she just slashed it. Yeah.

• 41:58Connor Wood?

  Oh, well, that's a.

• 41:59Brooke Averick?

  And I got my own caution tape for my cart.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  Somebody asked me how I define myself. And I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined? When we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.

• 42:19Speaker 00

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• 42:32Speaker 01

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• 43:02Brooke Averick?

  My book cart.

• 43:03Connor Wood?

  Why do you need caution tape for your book cart?

• 43:04Brooke Averick?

  Decoration.

• 43:06Connor Wood?

  For what, Halloween?

• 43:07Brooke Averick?

  If I, just whenever I want it.

• 43:09Connor Wood?

  Why would you put caution?

• 43:09Brooke Averick?

  I got, it was a present that I got for solving the case. Because remember there was caution tape?

• 43:13Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Brooke Averick?

  At the mega marche? So I got caution tape for my own cart. Should I ever want to employ it.

• 43:19Connor Wood?

  Well done.

• 43:20Brooke Averick?

  Thanks.

• 43:21Connor Wood?

  Um, I can't wait to see it. I've been watching Hunting Wives. Is anyone watching Hunting Wives?

• 43:24Brooke Averick?

  I watched it.

• 43:25Connor Wood?

  Did it end in, in a way where it was like, oh, I want one more episode?

• 43:30Brooke Averick?

  It ends in the way that is gonna set you up for season two in like a

• 43:34Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 43:35Brooke Averick?

  In a way that went way over the top. IMO. It did like 18 different things in the last episode that's like, you can, there's gotta be a way to wrap things up and set up for season two instead of just raising 18 different issues.

• 43:47Connor Wood?

  I think it's like, okay, now we can do whatever we want for the next episode. I started watching, so now I'm on this, now I'm on a kick. I'm on like a murder mystery kick.

• 43:55Brooke Averick?

  I love murder.

• 43:57Connor Wood?

  I started watching Dexter yesterday on the plane on the way here.

• 44:03Connor Wood?

  The way that this, the stewardess came up every single time, there was just like an open murdered severed body and he's cutting into like a naked woman's throat. Sorry, uh, trigger warning probably for me to say that. Um, and she's serving me chicken curry. It's just like, this is wrong. I'm always on a plane and like I'm watching this show or something that like, the way I tried to, I tried to start watching Game of Thrones three separate times on a plane and every time I turned it on, there's like an orgy happening.

• 44:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's not a plane show.

• 44:37Connor Wood?

  How, how would I know that? I'm in the middle seat and there's like 14 people blowing each other. It's like, okay, hang on. I like, we can't, this can't happen here. Like this is genuinely? Now I'm on the, I'm in the hot seat like, no, no, no, no, I don't, this is not something, this is not like my show. Like I'm trying to get into it. I'm not trying to get into it now. Like this is gross. Like I don't condone this behavior and also like.

• 44:59Brooke Averick?

  Why don't you don't condone orgies?

• 45:01Connor Wood?

  No, you can have orgies if you want to have an orgy.

• 45:03Brooke Averick?

  You can.

• 45:05Connor Wood?

  You could probably meet a lot of, you could probably a great networking opportunity. But I like, I, I don't want to, I don't want to do that on a plane.

• 45:15Brooke Averick?

  You don't have to.

• 45:16Connor Wood?

  Well, it's just like so hard to turn on those touchscreens like are not sensitive enough. So you're like pressing the button like four times and a person.

• 45:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I can't turn it off. Sorry.

• 45:23Connor Wood?

  Oh, no.

• 45:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.

• 45:27Connor Wood?

  I have a boner. It won't turn off.

• 45:31Connor Wood?

  Why won't it go? I'm like rewinding. Um, anyways, I do not have a boner and I never had a boner before and.

• 45:39Brooke Averick?

  Amen.

• 45:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Um, but yeah, that, that was tough.

• 45:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:45Connor Wood?

  I had something else.

• 45:45Brooke Averick?

  I, speaking of boners.

• 45:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 45:47Brooke Averick?

  I had another.

• 45:49Connor Wood?

  Boners come up once an episode now.

• 45:51Brooke Averick?

  No, they do. No, they do not. I fell in love again this weekend in a similar way that I fell in love with the waiter. I imprinted again. It's like such a specific feeling. It's not like, oh, I think that person's cute. It's like, I'm drawn to this person like a moth to a freaking flame.

• 46:08Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 46:09Brooke Averick?

  In such an imprentation way.

• 46:10Connor Wood?

  What happened?

• 46:11Brooke Averick?

  I can't, I was at, I went to our friend Nick's birthday party. Our friend Nick throws the most fabulous.

• 46:17Connor Wood?

  Oh, I know exactly what you're gonna say.

• 46:19Brooke Averick?

  It's the most fabulous event of the century each year. It's an annual century event. And he does like these like really like masculine like fratty themes. So like last year it was like just like frat bro. This year was like risky business, but they're like the gayest parties in the world. There was an hour long, show tune medley in the middle of the party where we all just like watched Nick put on the performance of a lifetime. Like full stage, like serious budget went into this, like videographer, stage, costume.

• 46:50Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 46:50Brooke Averick?

  Special effects. They did Chicago. They did Wicked. It was incredible. But so they're like very incredibly amazingly gay parties.

• 47:01Brooke Averick?

  And the only people, like the only straight people there I would say are like a few women and like the one like token straight boyfriend. But anyway, I walk in, I'm immediately, I see this young man moth to a freaking flame. He kind of looked like the waiter and also I was like, you are one of the characters from my book. Like you are what I've been picturing. Which is like, sometimes I love doing this. I'll see people in the wild and I'm like, ooh, you could be this person.

• 47:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:27Brooke Averick?

  But this was like, no, you are this person.

• 47:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:29Brooke Averick?

  Like, I was like trying to build up the courage to go ask him if he acts, like should my movie, should my book ever be made a movie? Like, he was this person. I was like, I couldn't stop just like gravitating towards him. Um, and yeah, I was completely freaking in love with him and I was gonna go say something after the performance, but I lost him. I lost him during the performance. He left.

• 47:54Brooke Averick?

  And thank God I was able to find him on Instagram.

• 47:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Brooke Averick?

  Because Hunter, your friend, followed him and I knew he would.

• 48:00Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 48:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Cause I had asked around for his name.

• 48:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 48:04Brooke Averick?

  And so I was able to cross-reference a few times. But yeah, that's that. I've been thinking about the guy.

• 48:10Connor Wood?

  Have you reached out?

• 48:11Brooke Averick?

  So, no, but this is interesting. He, because of the theme of the party, he was like wearing this polo.

• 48:18Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 48:18Brooke Averick?

  Cause it's risky business, but on his Instagram, fashion is different, different than I saw in a more like sly way, which I really like.

• 48:28Connor Wood?

  In a sly way?

• 48:29Brooke Averick?

  He's like very sly.

• 48:31Connor Wood?

  Gotcha.

• 48:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. He's doing like, he was doing like extremely tight gloves. Does that make sense? Like tight leather gloves and a Montclair. Which I wasn't expecting.

• 48:42Connor Wood?

  Was he skiing?

• 48:43Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 48:45Connor Wood?

  Oh, you'll have to see this photo.

• 48:47Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I really like, I really, really like, like him. What?

• 48:51Connor Wood?

  Where would you ever need to wear gloves?

• 48:52Brooke Averick?

  It was cold out, but they were like very tight leather gloves. And like a, in a, and like a very tight Montclair. And not a matte one, like a shiny Montclair, a shiny Montclair.

• 49:05Connor Wood?

  Oh, wow.

• 49:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah, wow, that's incredible.

• 49:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it was amazing. And I really love him. No, not at all.

• 49:11Connor Wood?

  Just like what getting?

• 49:13Brooke Averick?

  It was chilly.

• 49:14Connor Wood?

  Where?

• 49:15Brooke Averick?

  I'm, I don't know, but he didn't have the location.

• 49:18Connor Wood?

  Interesting. We'll have to look into that.

• 49:19Brooke Averick?

  But I hope I see him again because I feel more comfortable with him. Like being gay, I can just like, hey, like, I just think you're like, I probably like, wouldn't necessarily go up to a straight man and be like, I think you're so hot, cause that would be really, I'd be feeling more shy, but someone that would not be interested in me, I'd be like, you're so beautiful, you know?

• 49:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 49:41Brooke Averick?

  Is that weird to do?

• 49:41Connor Wood?

  And I love that this came, by the way, this came about because Brooke said, well, speaking of boners, like that's how we got here.

• 49:47Brooke Averick?

  I just really, I fell in love.

• 49:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 49:50Brooke Averick?

  Is that okay to say?

• 49:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I think it's fine. It's harmless.

• 49:54Brooke Averick?

  Thanks.

• 49:55Connor Wood?

  You should reach out.

• 49:56Brooke Averick?

  And say what? I saw you.

• 49:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I saw you from across the room and I loved your vibe.

• 50:01Brooke Averick?

  I literally, that's what happened.

• 50:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and then I lost him.

• 50:04Connor Wood?

  Ugh.

• 50:06Brooke Averick?

  But I'm gonna see him again and I'm gonna say, hi, I imprinted on you. And I would wanna know that if someone imprinted on me.

• 50:12Connor Wood?

  Is that a fingernail on your breast?

• 50:15Brooke Averick?

  So that is skin for my lips that I've been picking the whole episode. Thanks so much.

• 50:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, I wanted to just flag because you're wearing a black blouse and it's.

• 50:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, appreciate it.

• 50:26Connor Wood?

  There's still one more piece.

• 50:27Brooke Averick?

  Nice. Now, now there's crap all over it.

• 50:31Connor Wood?

  Woo. Nice. Oh, well, that brings me to something else that I wanted to bring up today.

• 50:38Brooke Averick?

  Huh.

• 50:40Connor Wood?

  Let's talk about stains on your shirt. Not your shirt, in general. I left the house the other day. Looked down. I'm wearing a crisp white tee. I looked down. Stain.

• 50:54Connor Wood?

  On me?

• 50:56Connor Wood?

  This can't be. But here we are. I'm a half block from my house. I say, do I turn around? I go, you know what? No. This is a coffee stain. I've been up for a while. This is, this stain is a sign of life. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go change, put on a clean shirt. Everybody has a clean shirt. I've been up. I've lived life. I have a history. They write ballads on stains. I got a barbecue stain on my white.

• 51:24Brooke Averick?

  That's a good way to look at it.

• 51:25Connor Wood?

  I got a barbecue stain on my white tee shirt. Now, she was killing me in that miniskirt because of that saying.

• 51:32Brooke Averick?

  What is that song?

• 51:33Connor Wood?

  I got a barbecue stain on my white tee shirt. She was killing me in that miniskirt.

• 51:37Brooke Averick?

  What is that? Did you just write that?

• 51:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 51:41Connor Wood?

  It just came to me in a dream. But I just, I got a new, I got a new lease on life when I

• 51:48Connor Wood?

  kind of let my hair down and said like, let's do this thing.

• 51:52Brooke Averick?

  Connor, that's amazing. I think that's a good way to look at it. It's a sign of, like, it's like wrinkles. Like, it's a sign of a life well-lived. Aging is a privilege.

• 52:01Connor Wood?

  Aging is beautiful and not only beautiful, but a privilege as well.

• 52:05Brooke Averick?

  Do you think it's okay that I called him slay because of his Montclair?

• 52:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I would, I think that's positive. There's no negative connotation to slay.

• 52:13Brooke Averick?

  I agree. Hey, if anyone agrees with that, it's me.

• 52:16Connor Wood?

  Unless you were like, yeah, he was really slay.

• 52:20Brooke Averick?

  No, like, like slay.

• 52:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Brooke Averick?

  The house on boots, in a way that I was comfortable with.

• 52:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 52:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Connor Wood?

  I'm sure he was wearing boots too, but he was probably from the waist up.

• 52:30Brooke Averick?

  He was.

• 52:31Connor Wood?

  He was wearing boots. Yeah.

• 52:33Brooke Averick?

  I miss him.

• 52:35Connor Wood?

  It's a beautiful thing. I have another, I have another take. This one won't be as well received and I'm, I know that.

• 52:40Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 52:42Connor Wood?

  I think we need a little justice for the person that repeats the joke louder, so the table can enjoy it and laugh.

• 52:50Connor Wood?

  Cause otherwise.

• 52:51Brooke Averick?

  I feel like I might know one of those people.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  Did that happen recently?

• 53:00Connor Wood?

  If that joke is a resource, I could go to benefit a larger number of people. It's like, do you shift the train?

• 53:05Brooke Averick?

  You're being selfless.

• 53:06Connor Wood?

  You shift the train and you run over one individual on the track and you save the five, or it's gonna hit those five.

• 53:12Brooke Averick?

  I don't see how that applies.

• 53:15Connor Wood?

  I say the joke louder.

• 53:17Brooke Averick?

  You save lives?

• 53:18Connor Wood?

  I run, I run, I run over the one individual who didn't say it loud enough. That is their fault. You could have projected your voice a little bit.

• 53:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you're saying somebody else's joke.

• 53:26Connor Wood?

  Yes, there's so much like.

• 53:28Brooke Averick?

  I thought you were repeating your own joke.

• 53:30Connor Wood?

  Ah, you, that is an option too.

• 53:31Brooke Averick?

  That's an option available to you.

• 53:32Connor Wood?

  But like, let's say someone said something and I say it louder. I'm not saying that was my idea. I'm saying, the table should hear this. Project your voice. Now, I get the laughs in the moment, but then I say, well, Brooke said that actually, but.

• 53:44Brooke Averick?

  As long as you give credit.

• 53:46Connor Wood?

  Or credits do, of course. I'm, I'm, I'm one to give credit, but I'm just saying, the joke needs to be heard. I think it's something that we could all, if we can all benefit from it, there's no reason that it should just be gone with the wind, no?

• 54:00Brooke Averick?

  Totally.

• 54:00Connor Wood?

  I haven't seen that movie either, Gone with the Wind.

• 54:02Brooke Averick?

  I haven't either.

• 54:04Connor Wood?

  Maybe we could watch that.

• 54:05Brooke Averick?

  I don't know if that's like, one that we would, what is Gone with the Wind about?

• 54:13Brooke Averick?

  I feel like that is one where I'd, we'd find ourselves on our phones. Unless.

• 54:20Brooke Averick?

  Our beans were knitting.

• 54:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it looks great. It's Judy Garland.

• 54:25Connor Wood?

  Oh, it's old.

• 54:26Brooke Averick?

  Not even a little bit.

• 54:28Connor Wood?

  Vivian Le, Vivian Le.

• 54:31Brooke Averick?

  I don't do well with.

• 54:32Connor Wood?

  Clark Gable.

• 54:33Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God. And Olivia de Havilland is in that, too.

• 54:37Connor Wood?

  Haviland? I don't know any, I don't know any of these people.

• 54:41Brooke Averick?

  I'm not, I have been picking my lips from start to finish of this episode.

• 54:45Connor Wood?

  That's okay. Okay, here it is.

• 54:49Brooke Averick?

  The flea?

• 54:50Connor Wood?

  It was a fruit fly. Is there fruit in here? Okay, well, I got it. It's dead as a doorknob now.

• 54:58Brooke Averick?

  I have something to talk about that I like should not bring up.

• 55:01Connor Wood?

  Too late.

• 55:03Brooke Averick?

  It's just like, I, there's gonna be some mental turmoil in front of me.

• 55:11Brooke Averick?

  With, uh, future book reviews of my book, and I know that, and I think it's time to start preparing in therapy.

• 55:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:17Brooke Averick?

  For like how to not engage. With any sort of.

• 55:21Connor Wood?

  We've talked about this.

• 55:22Brooke Averick?

  We've talked about this. There's gonna be negative reviews.

• 55:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:25Brooke Averick?

  You know, there's, someone's gonna write it one star on Goodreads.

• 55:27Connor Wood?

  I mean, you've had a video go viral, and it's a harmless video, and it's very funny, and then it reaches a part of the internet that's just like, I want you to die. They have a personal vendetta out for you and anything that brings other people joy.

• 55:38Brooke Averick?

  Right. So there's this thing that's been happening on Book Talk, Connor. There was, there's this, uh, like, well-known, like, book girl who, uh, just came out with a book. Her book's not out yet.

• 55:49Connor Wood?

  Sure.

• 55:49Brooke Averick?

  But advanced copies are available.

• 55:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:51Brooke Averick?

  And this one girl got an advanced copy and read it and gave like a, a very, very harsh review.

• 55:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:58Brooke Averick?

  And when I say very harsh, like, if someone said that about me, like, I don't know if I'd, you'd see me again.

• 56:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 56:04Brooke Averick?

  Um, which like, you know, bad reviews, you know, they're gonna happen. It's gonna happen. And the first, like, comment on that video is like, oh, my God, like, please do this when Brooke Averick's book comes out. And the girl responds and is like, oh, my God, yes, for sure. What if we didn't?

• 56:23Brooke Averick?

  What if we didn't?

• 56:25Connor Wood?

  Is this person a fan of you?

• 56:27Brooke Averick?

  I don't think so.

• 56:29Connor Wood?

  So it's just like wants to-

• 56:30Brooke Averick?

  It's just like come, I just know it's coming because everyone was like, "Oh my God, yes, please do this for Brooks." And I was, I'm sitting there like, "Please, if, please, God, help me." Like, "God, help me. I'm begging you, God. I'm not religious, but can you hear me?"

• 56:43Connor Wood?

  It's me, Margaret.

• 56:44Brooke Averick?

  It's literally me, Margaret. And I'm screaming.

• 56:47Connor Wood?

  I'm on my knees.

• 56:49Brooke Averick?

  But, you know, it's good. I have a lot of time to prepare for that with my new therapist who I'm really liking. So that will be amazing.

• 56:57Connor Wood?

  That's great.

• 56:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 56:58Connor Wood?

  I think, yeah, I think it's just gonna, it's just gonna happen.

• 57:02Brooke Averick?

  It's gonna hap- no, it's gonna hap-

• 57:03Connor Wood?

  But it's just you, you've gotta take the good with the bad, you know? And it's gonna be so overwhelmingly good that the bad will just be, it'll be saturated.

• 57:14Brooke Averick?

  One of the critiques that this girl gave of the other girl's book, she was like, "I, like, the dialogue is like not stuff that you would like say in real life." And one of the examples she gave was like, "Oh, the situation is dire," or something. I said that on the first page, but I would say that out loud.

• 57:35Connor Wood?

  Like the word, what, people don't use dire?

• 57:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 57:38Connor Wood?

  No, people do use dire.

• 57:39Brooke Averick?

  I agree. So I was like, "That's so, it's an interesting criticism."

• 57:43Connor Wood?

  Example?

• 57:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but obviously, like, the first thing she said was something that existed on my, on my page one, which was amazing.

• 57:51Connor Wood?

  I mean, we're just gonna get feedback no matter what. I put-

• 57:54Brooke Averick?

  We're gonna get feedback.

• 57:55Connor Wood?

  This is so, this is so not important compared to that, but it's, it's kind of funny.

• 58:00Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 58:00Connor Wood?

  I got a comment this morning on, I posted a video where my mom had me go outside and ask my dad if he needs help on the yard.

• 58:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:07Connor Wood?

  And whispering, and I'm saying, "Do you need help?" And then it came in and I was just like, "Yeah, he didn't answer. I don't think he wants, I think he's in the zone, whatever." And someone said-

• 58:16Brooke Averick?

  Did you tell your mom that you were filming that? Like-

• 58:18Connor Wood?

  No.

• 58:18Brooke Averick?

  She's, I was gonna say, because she's a great actress.

• 58:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, she knew that I was filming something, but she loves it.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  She loves it.

• 58:25Connor Wood?

  But I got a comment this morning. "His doesn't hear you asking him the way it's to whispers." Da, da, da.

• 58:35Connor Wood?

  And I go.

• 58:36Brooke Averick?

  Wait, can you repeat that?

• 58:37Connor Wood?

  Fact.

• 58:38Brooke Averick?

  Can you repeat that again?

• 58:39Connor Wood?

  I'm reading it word for word.

• 58:40Brooke Averick?

  No, I know. Do it again.

• 58:42Connor Wood?

  His doesn't hear you asking him the way it's to whispers.

• 58:46Brooke Averick?

  I think that should be the title. I really like that.

• 58:48Connor Wood?

  Okay. Yeah. Genuinely, I was like, yeah. Yeah. Like, I couldn't.

• 58:53Brooke Averick?

  Like, yeah. Wait, well said.

• 58:54Connor Wood?

  I couldn't have put it better. His doesn't hear you the way.

• 58:57Brooke Averick?

  Me on the first page of my book be like.

• 58:59Connor Wood?

  His doesn't hear you.

• 59:02Connor Wood?

  Da, da, da. The way it's to whispers. It's a real. You did. Whoa, we started with that?

• 59:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Connor Wood?

  We're almost gonna.

• 59:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, full circle.

• 59:14Connor Wood?

  I will say Jane Goodall just went on a podcast. I want to add her to my list of people that I think would be really fun to have on because she's a scientist and, but she's like,

• 59:24Connor Wood?

  she's like a normal, just young woman too, you know?

• 59:27Brooke Averick?

  Is she?

• 59:28Connor Wood?

  She's very cool. Yeah, like I've heard her talk about stuff.

• 59:33Connor Wood?

  And she seems like very down to earth, but she was talking about how she went on the A24 podcast.

• 59:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 59:40Connor Wood?

  Of all podcasts and said, they asked a question and it was just like, hey, is there a species that, is there a potential species of like monkey? I think that was the question that hasn't been like discovered yet. And she talks about a village where it's connected. It's not connected at all. There's a big stretch of forest in between these two villages. That not, no civilization. The only people that contact, keep contact between the two villages is like, are like hunters. And they go through and I guess six of these hunters have come and said like, yeah, there's a species of monkey, no tail, because they went to ask if any monkeys have like,

• 1:00:21Connor Wood?

  evolution. I don't know what the word is. Evolved. Oh, wow. Leave it in.

• 1:00:28Connor Wood?

  Evolutioned to have no tail. I don't know why that was a question. And six individual hunters that didn't know each other said, yeah, there's a, we've seen these in the woods. They're about six feet tall. They walk on their hind legs and they don't have a tail. Which sounds like Bigfoot.

• 1:00:43Brooke Averick?

  Six feet tall?

• 1:00:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and walk on their hind legs.

• 1:00:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's a, that's a creature.

• 1:00:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:51Connor Wood?

  But Jane Goodall's ass on this po- like on a podcast, that's so hot.

• 1:00:54Brooke Averick?

  I feel like you can't say, did you say hot?

• 1:00:56Connor Wood?

  Hot.

• 1:00:57Brooke Averick?

  I feel like you can't say Jane Goodall's ass like that.

• 1:00:59Connor Wood?

  I can, because it's endearing. It's like you saying slay about the young man.

• 1:01:03Brooke Averick?

  It's like Jane Goodall's like, oh my god. Is that it?

• 1:01:06Connor Wood?

  That was, that was me going to vomit in the restroom, genuinely, for real. Like, no, because that's not six feet tall, that's about a foot and a half. And that has a tail.

• 1:01:15Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 1:01:16Connor Wood?

  That is very hot.

• 1:01:17Brooke Averick?

  Well, he lost his front limbs.

• 1:01:18Connor Wood?

  Oh, and he, look at that guy go. I adore that.

• 1:01:23Brooke Averick?

  I do adore him. Aww.

• 1:01:26Brooke Averick?

  That's the kind of stuff, like when I see monkeys and stuff, I'm like, I believe in God.

• 1:01:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah, me too. That thing is almost us.

• 1:01:34Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it is almost.

• 1:01:35Connor Wood?

  Like me, me being like, hey, come here, and he just walks up. What?

• 1:01:43Connor Wood?

  That thing is very hot.

• 1:01:46Brooke Averick?

  Incredibly hot.

• 1:01:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I'm gonna, I need one of those.

• 1:01:51Brooke Averick?

  Let's get you one.

• 1:01:52Connor Wood?

  Whoa, my head is pounding.

• 1:01:53Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 1:01:54Connor Wood?

  I don't know. Do you know that veg-

• 1:01:56Brooke Averick?

  How many Celsius have you had?

• 1:01:57Connor Wood?

  Just one. I had a cup of coffee this morning, though. Did you know that vegetables don't exist? You know vegetable is a culinary term?

• 1:02:03Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 1:02:04Connor Wood?

  Like veg- like, name a vegetable.

• 1:02:07Brooke Averick?

  Cucumber?

• 1:02:09Connor Wood?

  Okay, I obviously-

• 1:02:09Brooke Averick?

  Oh wait, that has seeds. Broccoli.

• 1:02:13Connor Wood?

  Flower.

• 1:02:14Brooke Averick?

  Um, eggplant is a flower?

• 1:02:19Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 1:02:20Brooke Averick?

  No, that has seeds.

• 1:02:22Connor Wood?

  So it's a fruit?

• 1:02:23Brooke Averick?

  I guess.

• 1:02:24Connor Wood?

  Vegetable is a culinary term.

• 1:02:26Brooke Averick?

  Asparagus.

• 1:02:27Connor Wood?

  Um, I think the thing of it, I think it's a stock. I think as- an asparagus is a stock.

• 1:02:35Connor Wood?

  Yes, the term vegetable is primarily culinary and cultural term rather than a botanical one.

• 1:02:40Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 1:02:42Connor Wood?

  So vegetables are just like, we're like, this is vegetable vibes.

• 1:02:46Brooke Averick?

  Vibes, it's totally based off of vibes.

• 1:02:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like-

• 1:02:48Brooke Averick?

  So that's why there comes so many issues when tomatoes and shit like that-

• 1:02:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's like that tomato is a fruit or, you know, whatever. It's like-

• 1:02:55Brooke Averick?

  Why aren't we having the same issues with like cucumbers then, that we do with tomatoes? Like, they have seeds.

• 1:02:59Connor Wood?

  Well, I think like, it's genuinely probably the most annoying person in the world. It's like, actually, it's a fruit. Like, I genu- whoever originally started having that conversation, I mean, get the fuck out of here. Shut up about that.

• 1:03:10Brooke Averick?

  That was like very much a John Mulaney bit that you just did, I feel like.

• 1:03:13Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 1:03:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Connor Wood?

  I was like, I don't want to be in a room with, you know that person sitting in the middle of the table, saying, "We're not actually done with this conversation, I'm gonna keep going." Cucumbers are botanical, classified as a fruit.

• 1:03:23Brooke Averick?

  How about eggplants too?

• 1:03:24Connor Wood?

  I would say an eggplant and a cucumber are cousins. So I feel like, yeah, but I don't know. What do I know? Fruit.

• 1:03:31Brooke Averick?

  Wow.

• 1:03:34Connor Wood?

  And that's a fact.

• 1:03:35Brooke Averick?

  It is. So... We could play this in the bonus.

• 1:03:40Connor Wood?

  We could play this in the bonus. Like spinach, I think a lot of people are like, spinach, it's a leaf.

• 1:03:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. You know what I want to watch in the bonus before we go?

• 1:03:49Connor Wood?

  Huh.

• 1:03:49Brooke Averick?

  Did you ever see that episode of Nathan For You where he... Is like measuring how much this random man is enjoying spending time with him? Like, he's measuring how fun he is, and so he takes the man to get a blood test, so he can like, test his blood to see like how much fun he's having?

• 1:04:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Brooke Averick?

  And they, uh, he makes the, uh, what's the woman's name who does the blood? Nurse, I guess? He makes the nurse do fart machine, while she's taking his blood, so he laughs. Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 1:04:22Connor Wood?

  Why can't I remember it? Let's watch it.

• 1:04:24Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:04:25Connor Wood?

  Alright, well, thank you guys for listening. Thanks for having me back in the studio.

• 1:04:28Brooke Averick?

  Thanks for coming.

• 1:04:28Connor Wood?

  Of course. Um, and then, I had fun.

• 1:04:32Brooke Averick?

  I did too. It was great seeing you, and I'll see you in the bonus as well.

• 1:04:35Connor Wood?

  See you, guys.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  Somebody asked me how I'd define myself. And I didn't know what to say. Because how can someone be defined when we're always evolving? I've been so many things. I'll be so many others.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  Because identity's not a performance. It's an exploration. Never the same, but always myself. That's the paradox. Paradox Intense and The New Sweet Chemistry by Prada.

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