Jocko Underground: Your Behavior Is Impulsive. This is How You Know.

Impulsive behavior. Starting Jiu Jitsu for the mental benefits only. Autistic/special needs kids and getting them on track with teachers and caregivers. The yearning to do something great. Married to an abusive drunk, but the love is deep. How to meet girls. Skilled, but left on the sideline during the action. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jocko Willink?

  This is the Jocko Underground Podcast, number 116, sitting with Echo Charles, and I'm going to discuss with you impulsive behavior.

• 0:13Jocko Willink?

  Because think about what impulsive behavior does to people.

• 0:18Jocko Willink?

  I was thinking about, you know, we're in the middle of the death reset right now, and I was thinking about how often we make mistakes because we do something that's impulsive. It's a, it can create some real problems for people. Impulsive behavior, so I went to WebMD, got some webmd.com.

• 0:43Jocko Willink?

  Some of the things that impulsivity can cause is things like aggressive behavior,

• 0:52Jocko Willink?

  restlessness, interrupting others, being easily distracted, breaking the law, destroying things,

• 1:02Jocko Willink?

  a hard time saving money, inappropriate remarks, angry outbursts, and lack of forethought. So these are the kind of things, by the way, it didn't mention a donut, which I think is real high on the impulsive. Also, what about reaching for your phone?

• 1:28Jocko Willink?

  Because you want to check the gram, right? That's an impulsive behavior, right? Am I right?

• 1:32Speaker 01

  You are right.

• 1:34Jocko Willink?

  Now, look, there's, there's actual psychological conditions that can cause these things like bipolar disorder, ADHD, so there's, there's a certain level of impulsive behavior where it like wrecks someone's life. And I get that, but I kind of want to talk about.

• 1:55Jocko Willink?

  Just more of the things that we're, that we're thinking of, that you and I are thinking of. Hey, ate a donut, shouldn't have, pulled through the drive thru. You know what I mean? Yes, sir. Uh, spent, bought that thing that I didn't need, kind of more normal, impulsive things. Maybe they don't wreck our lives, but they definitely pull us off the path. And look, here's the thing, if you have some of those more, more strong, impulsive behaviors that are causing major issues in your life. Impulsive gambling, impulsive spending, you're running up your credit. Like, if you're out of control, there's, that's a different scenario where you need to get some help, some professional help. But for, for more normal scenarios, I was just trying to figure out, or I looked up to try and see what kind of advice they give.

• 2:43Jocko Willink?

  So, one of the terms that they used is mindfulness. Mindfulness, which means you're paying attention to what's going on, I guess. I guess that's the way it's, I guess that's what it means. You're, you're, you're aware of what's happening. Recognizing the impulsive behavior before it occurs, which to me is the same thing I, I read about, which is knowing what your red flags are. If you're gonna lose your temper, you gotta know what those red flags are. If you're gonna spend money, you gotta know what those red flags are. What's that feeling that you're getting? You know, one of the things I've said about spending money? Do you, have you ever built anything? Oh yeah, that's right, you make videos. Sure. Seriously, you make a video, you get done with the finished product, do you have a feeling of satisfaction? Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 3:28Jocko Willink?

  Or you build something at your house? Yeah, yeah, slingshot. Slingshot. Super good. When you build something, you get a certain level of satisfaction. But in this day and age, we very seldom build things, right? Cause everything's, so we kind of get the same satisfaction just by buying it. So I think that's, that leads to, and that leads to some people just buying things because it makes you feel good, like you just built something, even though you didn't do anything. Yeah. All you do is press click. Right, yeah. All you did was hit prime, and it's coming your way. Yeah. So, recognizing what feeling you're having before you hit click, or before you go spend the money, or before you eat the donut, recognize. So that's what mindfulness is about. Just being aware of what you're doing.

• 4:11Jocko Willink?

  Just taking a step back, being a little bit detached is a good way to control your impulsivity. Avoiding the situation, this is a big one that they talked about in, in some of these. Websites where they give you advice or they're giving advice. WebMD is one of them. Avoiding the situation completely. This is kind of what they tell like alcoholics, right? Don't go to the bar. Don't drive by the liquor store. Don't drive by the liquor store. Reroute your drive home. So you don't have to drive by, you know, Ace's Liquor on the corner. Cause when you buy, drive by Ace's Liquor, you're gonna get tempted to go in there. So that to me makes sense.

• 4:54Jocko Willink?

  If you've got some thing that's a big weakness for you. Avoid it. Avoid looking at it. Avoid being around it. In, I know at the Alcoholics Anonymous, one of their things is people, places and things, right? You gotta, if there's people that you used to hang out with, can't hang out with them anymore. There's places you used to go that would make you drink, can't go there anymore. And if there's things you used to do that you like to go, you like to drink when you golf, no more golf. So to me, the, the, the avoiding those situations is kind of similar to people, places and things. Makes sense to me.

• 5:35Jocko Willink?

  Another one that they brought is having an, having an alternate outlet. And this is a good one for more like the normal problems that we have. So let's say, for instance, you're a person that blurts, interrupts people during a meeting.

• 5:52Jocko Willink?

  That's a habit that some people have and it's hard for them to control. It's almost like they got Tourette's syndrome. People just can't just be quiet and listen. One of the recommendations they have is an alternate outlet, which is to write things down. So you're sitting in a meeting? When you gotta say something, no, don't say it. Freaking write it down. Process it. Maybe you say it later when it's your turn, when the other person's done.

• 6:16Jocko Willink?

  Another example that they gave was if you're arguing with your spouse. Like you start to feel that tension, go for a run. Go for a workout. Go hit the heavy bag. Do something, have an alternate outlet for those impulses that you're feeling. To me, that made sense.

• 6:38Jocko Willink?

  Breathing, taking a breath, right, breathing, whatever sort of breathing technique in into the mouth, out through the nose, you want to do the, the four inhales, one four count, exit, whatever it is you're gonna do, those type of things are a good way to control your impulses. That's kind of like, um, when you tell your kid to count to ten.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:03Jocko Willink?

  When they're mad.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:04Jocko Willink?

  Count to ten, right? Do you tell your kids that?

• 7:07Speaker 01

  No, they don't have tempers.

• 7:10Jocko Willink?

  If you did, if you have someone that has a temper, you tell them like, count to ten.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:15Jocko Willink?

  And then you try it with your kid, your kid's like, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Kind of defeats the purpose.

• 7:22Jocko Willink?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  That it does make sense that count to ten and also the breathing, but it makes more sense. I don't know. This is what it seems like. I'm not a WebMD or a regular MD, whatever, but the it does seem like it makes sense that.

• 7:37Jocko Willink?

  Everyone's a WebMD dude.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  I know.

• 7:39Jocko Willink?

  Usually I'm with Dr. Luke. I'm like, bro, I Googled it. I'm good. Your, your diagnostics are wrong. I'm gonna live forever.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you're meanwhile, you're looking at the little asterisks at the bottom. Oh, this thing does not necessarily mean that you have this. Oh, see, it says I don't have it. See, that's you right there. Cause usually it says I read MD and I have cancer, straight up, I have it right now. But the, the breathing technique and the counting to ten, that's like when you physiologically are losing control, like physiologically. So like if you're, I don't know, if you get nervous or something, or if in the event of you not having a temper or something like physiologically involved in your impulses, in impulses, then that feels like it works. Cause anytime I get like nervous and I'm like nervous and I breathe or whatever, it does help.

• 8:29Jocko Willink?

  What makes you nervous?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  I feel like I just did it. Like, yeah, where I was like, like, oh, you're gonna laugh. But I was more nervous than I should have been. Like, I'm using too much energy internally or whatever. It was before I did squats yesterday.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Bro, I'm telling you, cuz, yeah, but yeah, and I literally did breathe. Not cuz, oh, my gosh, I'm nervous, I'm losing control. It was that I'm using more like internal energy than I should be. I need to be right in the perfect zone. That's what I'm saying. But, and it works. Like, you can totally do it. And even before tournaments, like back in the day, a long time ago, before tournaments, when like, I would have these gagging fits, like before only the first match, I don't know why. And, um, and I'd be like, freaking like, I'm like, yeah, like, I might throw up if I don't stop this. And then, yeah, they're like, I'll just breathe. And you just focus on breathing all the way out, too, that helps. But anyway.

• 9:26Jocko Willink?

  So they're good functional?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:30Jocko Willink?

  Change your scenery? Slash, expand hori- this is one that I was thinking of. To me, I think this is, this isn't from the experts, from the medical web doctors.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 9:43Jocko Willink?

  This is just for me. Hey, you're feeling an impulse to do something, go do something, like, change your scenery. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you're about to do something that you know you shouldn't do? Go do something. Just go walk outside. The classic example. And I think that ties back into like, changing your perspective, you're expanding your horizon, your visual horizon, right? You're focused on one thing, like, like we talked about with Huberman, like, expand your visual horizon. Let's see what else you can see. Let's see more.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Wait, you said that you thought this and it wasn't on the list?

• 10:14Jocko Willink?

  It wasn't on the list. It wasn't on the list to change your scenery. But I think it's actually a really good thing to do.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  I think it's one of the, they're all kind of, in my opinion, given what I'm feeling, is kind of lumped into the same one, like, like having another outlet, um, and changing your scenery, they're kind of the same thing. And it goes with, which I'm surprised it's not on this, but what, which makes me agree with you, what you're saying, like, probably 101% even. But you put it back in the day, is like, find a new mission. So this is a small version or a shorter term version of finding a new mission. So if, yeah, if you're trapped in the house with all the donuts or, I don't know, whatever the case may be, if

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Have something else to do in a different place and you care about that thing because it's an actual like outlet, bro, you're you're you'll think about those donuts or that desire for the donuts way, way less. And in fact, if you care about the other thing that you're doing, you won't think about the donuts at all because you don't have time for that kind of stuff. You know, it's like if you're, I don't know, like, I don't know if you're skiing or snow, but if you're skiing down the mountain, you're not thinking, man, I wish I had some vodka right now. If you're alcohol, you're like, you're skiing. If you're doing jujitsu right now, like if you're trying to choke me and I'm like some gambling addict or whatever, and I'm trying, really trying to beat the gambling habit and you're trying to choke, I'm defending the choke. Now I'm defending armor, I'm doing this, I'm literally not thinking about gambling. So that's like a small version of finding a new mission.

• 11:39Jocko Willink?

  Yeah, it's just completely changing your environment, changing. It's, it's, it's weird though. It's kind of, um, it's like we were talking on a podcast the other day. It's changing

• 11:50Jocko Willink?

  So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to Jocko Underground dot com and subscribe and we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms. So we are not subject to their control and we're doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast, which will remain as is free for all, as long as we can keep it that way. But we, but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give

• 12:29Jocko Willink?

  you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's Jocko Underground dot com. It costs eight dollars and 18 cents a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email assistance at Jocko Underground dot com and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized underground.