Ep 578 - Post-Negativity (feat. Shawn Gardini)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com COME TO OPTIMUM NOCTIS every 1st and 3rd TUESDAY !!! https://www.creekandcave.com/events/optimumnoctis helloo. We're back with your weekly broadcast. Fambly ep this week. I just got back from the old country, Matt and Shang just got back from the springs. Hot cast. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Chad Powers - Series Premieres Sept. 30 on Hulu Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The Wild Wild West. Oh, he's a pro now.

• 0:03Matt McCusker?

  Yo. Lemire held it down, bro.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  Got that Gator clap. The Gator hands.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  That damn boy Gator.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, Lemire did a fantastic job. Thank you, Lemire.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, you did.

• 0:18Speaker 02

  You saved my bottom.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're in Italy.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Edited out an entire episode.

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 0:24Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 0:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, we did a full episode of us trying to break down all the world's ills.

• 0:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it didn't go well.

• 0:30Speaker 00

  Didn't go great. We both stuttered and stammered like uncles.

• 0:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. It's like, yeah, man, I just don't like, uh, it's not nice. Violence.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:40Matt McCusker?

  I just wish people wouldn't be so mean.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's get that out.

• 0:43Matt McCusker?

  Both sides do it.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Both sides do it. We hit the both sides do it for an hour.

• 0:51Matt McCusker?

  I think negativity's done. I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  We can bring it back.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  You already had a good plan. Matt explained his evil little plan already. He shouldn't say, I don't even think he should say the plan.

• 1:05Matt McCusker?

  It was just a funny thing to say.

• 1:06Speaker 00

  It is funny.

• 1:08Matt McCusker?

  Funny, but everyone's back, dude. You can't, you know, free speech, comedian's rule, we are the vanguards of truth.

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Finally, the philosophers are fucking, dude, the second the government starts censoring us,

• 1:19Speaker 00

  you know fascism is right around the corner. Yeah, it was good, though. It was good to see everybody stick up for him for free speech and, uh,

• 1:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  I'm just glad they were all there for me back in 2019.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  You know? He's my brother in being canceled now. You know, he was canceled for, what, what was that, 48 hours? Mine was a couple of years, but no big deal. What's the difference?

• 1:42Matt McCusker?

  He had to hold tight. He had to hold tight in the, probably a very nice kind of modern house on the hills in LA. He had to sit there and just.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  You mean he didn't have to lay on a mattress in Queens? With two snarky roommates that were like, oh, did you write that apology? Yeah, I could tell. What the fuck?

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Crybaby Kimmel.

• 2:01Matt McCusker?

  It's nice.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Crybaby Kimmel is my Kimmel.

• 2:06Matt McCusker?

  I do like how he was, I saw a snippet.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  I liked, I liked what he was saying.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  It was nice, yeah.

• 2:10Matt McCusker?

  We need verification.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  When he calls, uh, he called Rogan a moderate and one lady in the crowd thought that was a joke. She was like, huh. You can hear it, you're like, oh, you got that wrong bitch.

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're, they don't, they can't be nasty.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  No one else around you laughed, it was you being a nasty lib.

• 2:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she can't be nasty, honey, no one can be nasty now, we gotta knock it off.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  Try not to be nasty.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  I'm never nasty.

• 2:35Matt McCusker?

  Nastini.

• 2:36Speaker 00

  Nastini dude.

• 2:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no more nastiness, we gotta heal, we're healing the nation. We're healing the nation with our truth dude, I just, I hope the government doesn't fucking get one of us.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  No more funny business, get out of here. Yeah, for real. We're clapping down. For real, bro. March in formation. Depending, which government?

• 2:54Speaker 00

  That's what you gotta, that's what you gotta worry about.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Are you talking deep Sabre?

• 2:57Speaker 00

  No, I'm talking, I mean, kinda.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Anyway.

• 3:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying, brother.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  So you just got back from Italy, the, the motherland?

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I did just get back from the old country.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  How'd it go?

• 3:10Speaker 02

  It was nice, it was beautiful, I liked going to Rome, Rome was so sick, I was walking around tripping out on that. I didn't sleep though, I never adjusted to the time difference.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Were you drink, were you drinking cheap La Brusca wine overlooking the Genicaloris Hills?

• 3:24Speaker 00

  Love that, love that memory.

• 3:25Matt McCusker?

  Love that memory.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  I don't get it.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  It's my video from like, 10 years ago.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Samu Heidi.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry. But I was, yeah, I was just drinking a lot and I never, I stayed up really late drinking, so I never adjusted to the time and that really stunk.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  So a little bit more of the same?

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Exactly the same, yeah.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what, that's what I was just saying, when I went to Spain, I was like, I'll be different over here.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  No, yeah.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  Stayed up till 5am every day. Hammered, woke up, the sun was going down, I was like, ah. Oh shit. I day meals.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  I related to what you said too, about how like, America's so much better than, just like convenience wise and comfortability wise, it's like. Like wifi is bad, outlets are dumb, stuff closes.

• 4:13Matt McCusker?

  Your voice, your voice changed in Italy.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  I'm a little sick.

• 4:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you have COVID-19.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I might have Italian COVID.

• 4:19Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you have like that fashion show strain that like killed all the old guys.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, sorry.

• 4:25Matt McCusker?

  I hope you don't have COVID, cause.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  I don't think so. I feel pretty good now, but I did get a cold. The travel was like,

• 4:32Speaker 02

  I don't know. I was telling the mayor when I was going, cause I hadn't, I haven't really left the country since I was like a really young kid. I went to like Mexico and stuff. So I thought I was gonna like be, I didn't wanna go. I was like, I like, I don't like traveling.

• 4:45Matt McCusker?

  Thought it was gonna be an expansive.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  I was just like nervous. I don't like leaving my house. Um, you know, so I was like, I don't, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I never got why people like wanna go places for no reason. And I was like, maybe when I go there though, I'll like have some wanderlust thrust upon me and I like wanna go see the world and like I couldn't have been more wrong. I, I don't care to go anywhere still. I was so happy to come back.

• 5:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, it's nice when you get home.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  It was so beautiful. Like I was in Tuscany and Rome. Tuscany was like really rural, so that was tough.

• 5:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it feels, I do that. I feel like you're just like, this is a green screen behind you and now you're in like a different location. Feel exactly the same.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, kind of.

• 5:23Matt McCusker?

  Stayed in my house, feel like this. Took me a while. Although I like, I don't know, I disagree. Ireland, Ireland fucking rules.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Well, that's what I said, was saying before, like I think if I went to an English speaking country or even a country where I could speak the language, I'd, I'd be more comfortable.

• 5:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  People speaking Italian, I use very anxiety and do this. I'm like an anxious guy, but when they start speaking really fast at you, I was just like, I'm American, I'm American. A lot of them thought I was Australian though, so I started lying when I got drunk and I'd be like Australian.

• 5:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, having those guys get in your face and make.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  I did, I'm running into two like ruffians though. I was stumbling home at like three in the morning. I stayed up for like 26 hours as soon as I got there. I landed at like 7 a.m. And like went to the Colosseum and saw everything.

• 6:10Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  And that was so cool. Cause I was like, I'd never been on a road this old before. Like I've never been in a place this old before. So that part was awesome.

• 6:18Matt McCusker?

  Did you pretend you were like a warrior slave entering the Colosseum and you had to fight for your honor?

• 6:22Speaker 02

  No, but it does cross your mind. I think every man in that Colosseum was like, man, I'm getting filled with the energy right now.

• 6:30Matt McCusker?

  I would stab a tiger in here. No problem.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  It's so cool. The Colosseum was so cool and all like the old structures and stuff.

• 6:37Matt McCusker?

  Was anyone in there like, is everyone just looking and anyone like fuck around and like flow?

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Everyone's just looking, I mean, it's just like a zillion tourists, like as many tourists as you could possibly imagine.

• 6:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  From everywhere.

• 6:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  I feel like they're mostly Asian, right?

• 6:50Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 6:51Speaker 02

  That's kinda where I, what I was getting, but I didn't wanna be rude.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was a big thing, the big thing in Europe was they were all like, cause remember when we were young, it was all like, fucking Z's Americans or something. Now they're all like, damn, we miss the Americans, it's all Chinese now.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Sucks, we didn't realize how good we had with the Americans.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  There's a lot of Sarr, there's a lot of Indians in Rome too, like trying to like pedal their like water bottles and they're like, they're Mexicans, I think.

• 7:15Matt McCusker?

  They got, well, they got lost on the Silk Road and ended up.

• 7:18Speaker 00

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• 7:26Matt McCusker?

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• 7:47Matt McCusker?

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• 8:18Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 8:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, we were, uh, we were battling an old Indian couple on the plane recently, went to a wedding this weekend and it was like, just the, the personal space issue from the east is crazy.

• 8:28Speaker 00

  Tough one.

• 8:29Matt McCusker?

  Bro, like the, the butting is just like insane.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  Butting in line?

• 8:32Matt McCusker?

  Butting, yeah, we're like waiting to get on the plane.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  Fucking crazy.

• 8:35Matt McCusker?

  Old Indian couple just fucking butted us and I had to be like.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, this isn't the fucking train, dude.

• 8:40Matt McCusker?

  Back it up, man, yeah.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  We're not fucking jamming in here, wait.

• 8:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, chill, man, we got, we got plenty of room. Like I was like front and center, ready to get on and they're just like, started doing it and I was just like.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Also, I'm tired of Europeans being like, Americans are so obnoxious. It's like, dude, have you talked to one person from England?

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  It's crazy. Just screaming in your fucking face.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  That's what I was saying.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Starts singing. We're not singing here. I like the singing. Don't get me wrong. I like the singing.

• 9:05Matt McCusker?

  I like the singing. I like the singing. But yeah, it is. You go anywhere and it is cool to see a different place, but America really is. I'm not saying if you're like, you know, in Europe or wherever. It's just your country. Like, the way you guys live is embarrassing.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  It kind of is embarrassing.

• 9:19Matt McCusker?

  Everything's just, the outlets are fucked up.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  Fix the outlets.

• 9:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, it's 2020.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  Ben Franklin invented electricity. Get with it.

• 9:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  That's from Philly. You're welcome.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  I know. Well, that's the thing. Like, I was telling La Mer, in Italy, they all sort of like, they're not a very like, the customer's always right thing. And I was telling them, they all act like, with like, a sort of air that they were around thousands of years ago when the Roman, it's like, you weren't there when the Colosseum was being built. You're just a guy that was happened to be born here. I don't know. Maybe it was all in my head.

• 9:51Matt McCusker?

  They're connected to tradition. They're connected to deep tradition.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  That's how, they operate that way. They reminded me of like, how people describe the French, where it's like, I feel like they don't like me because I'm American, but maybe that was just in my head.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  It's probably in your head a little.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 00

  Because I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish. And the Spanish were very, they were like, happy to see. I guess it depends where you are. You weren't a very tourist-heavy. I was more of a, up in the Montagni's.

• 10:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Off the beaten path.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  You know me, dude. I tried to go off the beaten path. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Off the beaten path was scary. I was really scared. Before I met up with all my friends, I was, I felt nervous.

• 10:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're gonna get attacked by a ruffian.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  I thought, yeah, I was gonna get molested or something.

• 10:34Matt McCusker?

  Couple of young Italian boys.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna get sexually harassed or something. I don't know. As soon as I got off the plane, I was getting a taxi and there were like, guys that were like, trying to do fake taxis and I guess like, charge you more. You know, they do that at like, JFK?

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 10:51Speaker 00

  The mayor loved it.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  What's so funny about that?

• 10:53Speaker 00

  You thought you were getting on the fake taxi? You were about to get in the fake taxi. You were about to get put in the backseat.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, that's it, yeah. I was scared.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  You were about to get put in the backseat.

• 11:01Matt McCusker?

  You were gonna get in the bang fiat?

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought so. I was gonna get stuck in the taxi.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  In the bang booths.

• 11:07Matt McCusker?

  The Italian job. And then he'd heist that ass.

• 11:11Speaker 00

  The Italian job.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  It was like, guys with like neck tattoos and stuff, they looked like dirtbag Italians and they were like, "Get in the taxi, get in the taxi." And I was like, "No, no."

• 11:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you just get in, they pinch your butt and kick you out?

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. They kept saying, "What's the wrongo with your head?" They kept saying that to me over and over again.

• 11:29Matt McCusker?

  That would fucking piss me off so bad.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  What's wrong with your head?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, "What's the wrongo with your head? Tuto, tuto. What's the wrongo with your head?" And I was just like, "No, no, no." I just kept saying, "No," over and over again.

• 11:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like, "Fuck your head. Your head sucks. It's full of dumb Italian thoughts." I can't go to Italy. My wife wants to go to Italy so bad.

• 11:48Speaker 00

  Why can't I go to Italy?

• 11:49Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's-

• 11:50Speaker 02

  The Italians are the worst part.

• 11:51Matt McCusker?

  And also, like-

• 11:52Speaker 00

  I think you're confusing-

• 11:53Matt McCusker?

  No, black ladies love Italian guys.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 11:56Matt McCusker?

  It's a thing, man. I always talked about, I talked to Nate about this. Black people love Italians. They sweat Italians so hard and I every, I'm, I'm always evangelizing, like, "Dude, Italians suck." Irish people rule and they're like-

• 12:06Speaker 00

  Obviously Irish people are number one.

• 12:07Matt McCusker?

  We don't see it, but it's hard pitching Irish swag to black people. Like, "Nah, we're just quiet and we just fucking grumble to ourselves silently." We don't wear any cool jewelry and they're just like, "Bro, your Italian guys are so cool." And I'm like-

• 12:18Speaker 00

  But I think Italian-Americans are way different.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, they are.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Like, way different.

• 12:25Matt McCusker?

  That's true. What, I, what, or like, the people from Itali, are they like smaller over there too, or are they?

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, they all, they all look like they're like a thousand years, they look like pygmies or something.

• 12:36Matt McCusker?

  You look tiny, bro.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Like, everyone there, like, they could be twenty and they still look like an old person for some reason. I don't, maybe I'm just, I, I'm just a really dumb American. Like, I think I was like, missing the chemicals that I'm desperately addicted to and stuff like that. Like, I was like cranky.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  The pesticides and stuff. I ran out of skull. I thought I packed enough skull when I went to Spain. I ran out right away.

• 12:55Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  I packed six packs of American cigarettes.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  Dude, lucky, lucky strike, dude. I felt like a fucking GI.

• 13:02Matt McCusker?

  Doughboy.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  The cigs are different. They have scary pictures on the cigs there.

• 13:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, they do. They love the scary pictures.

• 13:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I want to do a cigarette company where it's like, warning, these are so cool. You might die, but that's also so cool. If you died from cigs, it'd be so cool.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  It's like you're gonna die anyway, dude. Look cool.

• 13:18Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna do a big picture of a guy in like a fast car, just like hanging out of the window. It's like, live fast, die young.

• 13:28Matt McCusker?

  They have big scary warnings.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Did you go to a disco, disco, disco tech?

• 13:32Speaker 02

  No, I didn't go to a disco tech. I was in Rome for a day, so I just kinda like drank outside. There wasn't like any bar bars.

• 13:40Matt McCusker?

  You know what they say?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  What?

• 13:41Matt McCusker?

  When in Rome?

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Did you do as the Romans do?

• 13:44Speaker 02

  I did. I drank outside and um, there's a lot of like foreign exchange students or not, you know, like study abroad kids from like a bunch of countries. It was lively. It was like a city. So we just drank outside. Like, there's no bars that we went to. It was just like you sit at a table and they like bring you drinks.

• 14:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe's humiliating. They're real. They're small. They're shrimps, dude.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  I do have a big friend, my friend Mike.

• 14:11Matt McCusker?

  I'm sorry, I'm, we're post negativity. I don't know why.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  I don't wanna be negative to the Italians. It's a beautiful country. I'm very pro American.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  You gotta put down every other country.

• 14:19Matt McCusker?

  It's just basic American first stuff that I'm talking about.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  Classic American first.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  That's right. I stayed in my hotel was next to the anti mafia building, so that was kind of intimidating. Yeah, there's like guys with silly hats with like rifles.

• 14:33Matt McCusker?

  With the anti mafia?

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know what that even means. Yeah, it was anti ma, I was. And they were kept like checking in with me when I would like smoke a cigarette outside the hotel, cause I guess like their politicians go there and stuff or whatever.

• 14:47Matt McCusker?

  Is that like, so that's like a, no mafia guys can go in there?

• 14:50Speaker 02

  I guess not. I don't know, it is weird.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  So it's a police station?

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 14:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they walk in the pass where you have to walk in and go, don't forget about it.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  Alright, you're in, you're good. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Matt, let me be honest, I'm loving the football season, but I'm worried, man. Sup? Well, you know me, always striving for perfection.

• 15:16Matt McCusker?

  Sure.

• 15:18Speaker 00

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• 15:34Speaker 00

  Wow, okay.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  Well, in that case, I'm feeling pretty confident about my picks this week. So I'm thinking Joshua Allen for more on literally any stat. He's playing New Orleans. I'd straight up take him more on anything. Let's go with Josh Allen, two or more passing touchdowns. And I'm definitely going with Jalen Hurt.

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• 16:33Matt McCusker?

  So I just came from the spring, dude, I'm just fucking.

• 16:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, we just got out of the water. I've been, I've been on my Italian shit. I've been watching a Mussolini show.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  The Faschistas.

• 16:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, the Faschistas. It's a good show. It's on some made up fucking European network.

• 16:45Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 16:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't even know what it's called. Fake bullshit.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  It's their attempt at TV.

• 16:53Matt McCusker?

  What was, what was Mussolini? He was a bad guy, right? Pretty bad?

• 16:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:56Matt McCusker?

  Pretty nasty?

• 16:57Speaker 00

  He invented fascism.

• 16:58Matt McCusker?

  Oh, what?

• 16:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. Hitler copied him. Hitler was like, that guy rules.

• 17:02Matt McCusker?

  That guy's cool. Okay. And that was like in, I've been trying to figure out like a good definition for fas- fascism. And I think it's just like when you love the president so much, you'll beat somebody up.

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  And the president's like, you better.

• 17:14Speaker 00

  It's kinda hard to.

• 17:15Matt McCusker?

  It's hard to pin down, yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 00

  Put like a real definition to it, but if you look up the definition, it's, that's why it's so easy to call anyone a fascist.

• 17:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I know.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  Cause the definition does.

• 17:24Matt McCusker?

  It's like if you will resort to violence for.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  Also, it is socialism. That's what I, that's why I always, I always struggled with it.

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  Cause I was always like, isn't that more government? So doesn't that mean it's a left? But it's not. It's, it's a far right version of more go, I don't fuck if I know.

• 17:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think, yeah, I think it's like military led.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Let's give the exact definition.

• 17:43Matt McCusker?

  I do, I've looked it up a hundred times. It's like kinda vague. It's like.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I looked it up this week. Force.

• 17:48Matt McCusker?

  So I've looked it up.

• 17:49Speaker 00

  Ultra nationalist authoritarian political ideology characterized by a

• 17:55Speaker 00

  dictator, aggressive nationalism militarism, force of suppression of opposition. It's a system in which the government controls most aspects of public and private life and exalts the nation or race above the individual.

• 18:08Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  So again, what the fuck's the difference between communism and that?

• 18:15Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. Ever got into a, what's it called?

• 18:18Speaker 00

  The exact same.

• 18:19Matt McCusker?

  Luxury, like automated luxury communism?

• 18:22Speaker 00

  No.

• 18:22Matt McCusker?

  That's a big talking point. They're like, dude, the machines are gonna get so cool that you could live it like, you know, like when you're in communism, it sucks because you can only have like a little bit of bread. Like usually the, the economy kinda falls apart. There, there's guys that are saying like, one day we'll have such good automation, like everything will be on demand. But we'll be like, we'll be, it's like luxury communism. Just like, yeah, sure. Let me know when you guys figure that out.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, we're a thousand years away.

• 18:43Matt McCusker?

  I know, I know, I know.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  Like, we're not close.

• 18:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:48Speaker 00

  Rogan, Rogan was talking about last night, cause he loves the AI.

• 18:51Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:52Speaker 00

  And I'm just sitting there like, I'm not worried about it.

• 18:56Matt McCusker?

  Is he worried, is he worried or is he thinking?

• 18:57Speaker 00

  He's like, AI's, yeah. And he talks to those guys.

• 19:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, those computer guys.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  So they're all like, yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Peta.

• 19:04Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I like, I fuck with it here and there and it's like, it just seems like super Googled to me. Now, I'm sure if you own ChatGPT and you could like, take the blinders off, maybe it could be like, set me up a geopolitical, you know, if you took all the moral frameworks off it, you could probably do some like, cool stuff.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  ChatGPT like infringed, I was, it freaked me out.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  You gotta speak up.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 19:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man, we're not in fucking Italy, dude.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 19:28Matt McCusker?

  Back in America, you gotta pronounce your words.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  You get so startled, dude. You got startled, I'm just, just yanking you, bro.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  ChatGPT, uh, you know what, nevermind.

• 19:39Matt McCusker?

  What'd it say? No, no, no, no, no.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  This is a yank, dude. The bag's on you.

• 19:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, he was gone for that.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  It's just a bag, gardening.

• 19:45Matt McCusker?

  He was gone for that.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Um, I asked if I could take Xanax and NyQuil at the same time, because I wanted to sleep on my flight. And then I asked something about like, pills yesterday and it said like, you can't take that with Xanax though. Like, it remembered that I asked it about Xanax two days before.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 20:01Matt McCusker?

  You were probably in the same chat. If you're in the same.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wasn't.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was a new chat.

• 20:06Matt McCusker?

  Dang, it pinned you down.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  You remembered that I asked you that. And it said, I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

• 20:12Matt McCusker?

  That's fair. It checked, it checked your Xani use?

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:15Matt McCusker?

  How did that, how did that work? Did the Xani, did you take?

• 20:17Speaker 02

  I didn't take the Xani. I just took the NyQuil and passed out.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, that'll work.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  It was nice, yeah.

• 20:22Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  The flight was brutal, though, because I'm a hopeless nicotine addict, so.

• 20:28Matt McCusker?

  What'd you do?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  I just did a bunch of zins.

• 20:30Speaker 00

  I don't know why. I thought that was going somewhere else. The nicotine, I was like, oh.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  No, no. Uh, I just did zins and got really, really angry, because they don't really help still.

• 20:41Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 20:41Speaker 02

  I still really want cigarettes, yeah. It was like nine and a half hours.

• 20:45Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, sucked.

• 20:47Speaker 00

  Did you get first class?

• 20:48Speaker 02

  No, hell no. I was a coach.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  You got it. You got it on that one.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  I.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  It's so expensive, but you gotta.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't, uh, do that.

• 20:56Speaker 00

  It's worth every penny on that.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  It was brutal, yeah. There was a heavyset woman next to me whose buttocks was just pouring into my seat the whole flight. It was kinda comfy though.

• 21:04Speaker 00

  You're a bit of a little hump, or you probably were like.

• 21:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  It was kind of a nice, like, extra pillow.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  You're a little hump.

• 21:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's for real not the worst case scenario.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, at least it wasn't a guy.

• 21:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  There was a guy on the way there.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  It wasn't me.

• 21:18Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, that's kind of, I feel like that's not bad, having a big fat lady butt spill into your territory.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, that wasn't the worst on the, cause I had to do to JFK and then come here from JFK. So it was like nine and a half hours to JFK and then five hours here. It sucked balls. But on the way here, there's like a guy on his laptop with like his elbows out and coach.

• 21:39Matt McCusker?

  That's a crazy move.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  My thing was, I was thinking on the plane, I was like, if you're gonna work on your laptop, you should be in first class.

• 21:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Cause if you, you ain't making that bread, your work ain't important enough to be typing.

• 21:51Matt McCusker?

  He's trying to get there, dude. Also, I've done it in coach.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  The Ravens were on, just watched the Ravens game. No laptop.

• 22:00Matt McCusker?

  I, I'm all laptop on the plane.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  I know, but you're in the front.

• 22:03Matt McCusker?

  I, sometimes I have to sit in, I have to do coach sometimes and I just fucking elbows in, I do T-Rex arms and I just type, type, type.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  I was in the middle though, because I had to get like switched. Cause I was supposed to go to Boston and then Austin and then that got delayed. So I would have never made it. So they switched me to JFK to Austin. So I had comfort plus, I sprung for comfort plus, but then the new flight, I didn't get comfort plus. I got middle seat.

• 22:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  I was dying.

• 22:27Matt McCusker?

  I rocked a middle seat not too long. I like to flex on my wife. She's like, you know, you're gonna fly coach. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Put me in there. And I was in there the whole time like, god damn it. I'm so fucking uncomfortable. But there was a big dog next to me. He wasn't like super fatty. He was just a giant guy and he was doing this thing where you just, it's actually really alpha when you just like lay down on your tray like that. And he kept spilling into my side and he would like wake up like, I'm so sorry, man. I was just like, bro, you can't help it, man. Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:51Matt McCusker?

  You're fine. Don't sweat it. If they say sorry, it's, it's over. Exactly. And I was like, and it was, it was two big dogs and then me, medium dog. And then it was just like, there I was just like, bro. Middle deserves the armrest. And it was like, dude, we're fucked. There's not, you literally, there's nowhere you can go. Yeah. He was just trying to sit politely, but he was just. Damn window seat coach when you got a whiz. Yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:11Matt McCusker?

  Fucking everyone has to get up. That sucks. I want aisle, cause I just like to get up. I like to move around the plane a lot. So it's like, when I have to ask people, especially when they're like. It's like, bro, get up.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Dude, on the Italy flight, everyone's sleeping, so I had to like wake the heavyset lady up to go to the bathroom. And I felt so bad. And I was like, I had to like poke her a bunch of times. I held her for like two hours. I was like, I have to.

• 23:34Matt McCusker?

  Find a nerve and just.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  You should have tickled her. Pitched the fuck out of her. What did she do when you, when you?

• 23:39Speaker 02

  She was so sweet. I feel bad even talking about her like this, but she was so nice about it.

• 23:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  The guy on the computer I asked too, and he was like, one second. And he like finished typing something and I was like, bro, get your broke ass up.

• 23:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, turn off the fucking PowerPoint, dude. Let's go.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  I feel bad about being mean to Italy too, because my friends are gonna watch this. I was so happy to see all my friends.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  Are they from Italy?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  No, but I just don't wanna act like I didn't have a bad time. It was an awesome time.

• 24:08Matt McCusker?

  No, I think, yeah, I think it was nice.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Okay. Sometimes they all listen to this and people listen. I forget that.

• 24:15Matt McCusker?

  You don't even wanna be like, his wedding stunk. That's what you don't wanna do.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Wedding was the most amazing wedding. It was in the Tuscan hills. It was like beautiful.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 24:23Matt McCusker?

  Well, how much you give him for a gift? Do you mind me asking?

• 24:25Speaker 02

  I gave him three hundred. I felt like that wasn't, I felt like my other friends.

• 24:30Matt McCusker?

  He flew to Italy, bro.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Is that not good? Like, I thought that was good.

• 24:33Matt McCusker?

  Just you or did you have a guest?

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Just me.

• 24:36Matt McCusker?

  Did you give him three hundred American?

• 24:37Speaker 00

  Fine, dude.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Three hundred American, yeah. But like my other friends gave more and I felt like kinda bad, yeah.

• 24:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, three hundred.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  I think that's fine.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  It was like, dude, it costs a shit ton of money to get there.

• 24:45Speaker 00

  Would they give him a thousand?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  No, no, like five. Some of them gave five, yeah.

• 24:49Matt McCusker?

  No, that's fair. You flew all the way there. Three hundred with the international flight, I think is kinda generous.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joe, I love you. Congratulations.

• 24:57Matt McCusker?

  That's, yeah, that's a.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  Congrats, Joe.

• 24:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, seriously, dude. And to your lovely wife.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, mayor.

• 25:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, or husband. It was a wife.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  If Guard Dog was there going stag, I thought that was a guy's trip.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Wait, what do you mean?

• 25:11Speaker 00

  He was saying it was a gay marriage.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 25:13Matt McCusker?

  I didn't, I don't wanna assume he was heterosexual.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  He's heterosexual, yeah.

• 25:17Matt McCusker?

  Whose idea? Was it his idea to go to Italy or the wife's?

• 25:20Speaker 02

  I'm not sure.

• 25:22Matt McCusker?

  Damn, dude. What a fucking marriage in Italy. What a beautiful thing. I hope that lady's nice to him, because I'd be really mad.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  They're both like the nicest shit.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  If I did a. Yeah, that would, I would hold that over her for a decade.

• 25:33Matt McCusker?

  Wouldn't matter.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Twenty-five years.

• 25:34Matt McCusker?

  Wouldn't matter.

• 25:34Speaker 00

  Twenty-five years. I go, remember Italy?

• 25:38Speaker 00

  That was incredible. I did that for you.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Fucking nine hundred thousand dollars.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  It was so awesome. It was crazy.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  We have no fucking money. We're fucked. We could have bought a house.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Dude, the stars too. Like, we stayed in like a villa in like farmland. So the stars were like, I saw like five shooting stars. The first one I saw was like, that's a UFO. There's a UFO. Really? I was like.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  What'd you wish for? Yeah, yeah.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  I didn't make any, I was so drunk and on mushrooms every night. We did a bunch of mushrooms.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  That's kinda sick.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. That was cool. The lady who owned the villa, when I met her, I had to like give her my passports to check in. And she was like, you have an Italian surname. Wait, what's so funny?

• 26:17Speaker 00

  So I got a, I, that was definitely my ring camera. And I watched La Mer find out that the Chipotle is here. So a buzz, I was like, that's gotta be the ring camera. And I saw La Mer go.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  To go back to work.

• 26:33Speaker 00

  No, I'm working.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  Chipotle is here.

• 26:36Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I'm going on and on about it.

• 26:38Matt McCusker?

  No, no, I was at a wedding this weekend as well. And I was at a camp. It was nice. It was like an outdoor, it was like a kid's camp where they did a wedding.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Oh, I saw your flip.

• 26:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I saw the flip. I was pumped on it.

• 26:47Matt McCusker?

  Appreciate that. And then I, uh.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  I almost reposted it. I was fired up.

• 26:50Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was alright.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  It was a great flip.

• 26:52Matt McCusker?

  Thank you. I appreciate the height. It's actually easier to flip from something higher up.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  How tall was it? Like?

• 26:56Matt McCusker?

  It was probably like ten feet.

• 26:58Speaker 00

  You were hitting flips today.

• 26:59Matt McCusker?

  Flips is, yeah, the diving board.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  Me and Matt went down to Barton Springs and swam in the crisp water together.

• 27:06Matt McCusker?

  It was a far swim, dude.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  That was a hard swim.

• 27:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we swam and then we, I didn't realize there's a current in that thing.

• 27:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, we got down, we were exhausted. We got down to one end and it was like, oh, fuck.

• 27:15Matt McCusker?

  We, we had the current pushing us and we were both like, god damn, this is fucking hard. Then we had to go back against it and it was just like, fuck.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Dude, fuck it. Let's stop here. Get to the wall.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love that water.

• 27:26Matt McCusker?

  It was nice.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  I've never been there. It's so good.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  I had only been there once and I was like, before I'd been there, I was like, what's all the hubbub? It must not be, it can't be that nice.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  No, it's so nice.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  It was the nicest thing.

• 27:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm gonna try to start hearing that.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Apparently there's tits there.

• 27:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, if you go to the non-free side.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  No, no, that, no, the free side.

• 27:41Matt McCusker?

  What? People bust out tits?

• 27:42Speaker 00

  The free side has tits.

• 27:43Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 27:43Speaker 02

  I could be wrong about this, but I think Austin has really loose tit laws.

• 27:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they do.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Austin does have really loose tit loss.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Like, I think you're allowed to just rock them out. It's open carry.

• 27:55Matt McCusker?

  I saw a lady in my neighborhood who didn't look like a crazy homeless lady, just had her tits out. Just walked down the street, totally tits out. And it was just kinda like.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  That would scare me.

• 28:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  I would think something was happening.

• 28:09Matt McCusker?

  I mean, there was something happening.

• 28:12Matt McCusker?

  Driving.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  Obviously.

• 28:13Matt McCusker?

  No, it's not even, you're right, though. It's not really that horny making. You see it and it was kinda concerned, like, damn, is that lady a-

• 28:19Speaker 00

  It's like a really mentally-

• 28:20Matt McCusker?

  But she didn't, she wasn't like, if she was naked, I'd be like, oh, she's like on drugs. She was just walking, just kinda pants on, looked somewhat normal, was just had her titties out.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  In your neighborhood?

• 28:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 00

  That's really fucking weird.

• 28:30Matt McCusker?

  It was crazy.

• 28:31Speaker 00

  Should've called the cops.

• 28:32Matt McCusker?

  It was like a year ago. What? Call the cops. Like, bro, I'm scared.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  I might do something. You guys better get down here.

• 28:40Matt McCusker?

  911, I'm hard as hell. 911, I'm hard as hell. No, it's, it is kind of, it's good they cover them up, man. You, it's, you really need to have, and I, dude, bra, I wish there was a bra law. No bra fucks me up. No bra might fuck me up more than just bare titties out.

• 28:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, bare titties is scary. Walking in a neighborhood, bare titties. I'd be like, that lady's having a mental breakdown. No bra?

• 29:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 29:05Speaker 00

  They need to stop.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  That's concealed carry.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  That is concealed carry.

• 29:09Matt McCusker?

  I like, I like, yeah, I don't even wanna see your nipples through the bra. That's too much for me, too. It's like, if they're sticking out, more padding. Lock them away. Chastity belt, maybe, too. Chastity belt, Handmaid's. We need Handmaid's Tale.

• 29:23Speaker 00

  I've never seen it, but I'm in.

• 29:24Matt McCusker?

  True. Yeah.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  I don't watch that shit.

• 29:27Matt McCusker?

  Handmaid's Tale, rock.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  Think I watch girl TV?

• 29:29Matt McCusker?

  Handmaid's Tale?

• 29:30Speaker 00

  That's girl TV.

• 29:31Matt McCusker?

  That's big time.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  I can't watch girl TV.

• 29:32Matt McCusker?

  They, there's nothing they love more than watching them being like completely suppressed and being like, it's better not happen. So you guys be happier.

• 29:44Matt McCusker?

  So I was telling my wife, she's not a handmaid, so I'm like, you'd actually love this.

• 29:46Speaker 00

  You'd love that.

• 29:47Matt McCusker?

  No, I wouldn't.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  You'd fucking love it.

• 29:51Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Oh, I like this.

• 29:56Matt McCusker?

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• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 30:53Speaker 00

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• 30:54Matt McCusker?

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• 31:01Speaker 00

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• 31:10Matt McCusker?

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• 31:30Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 31:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I watched a brutal one. My, my wife had control of the movie. I had a movie and then she got to do, we did the kissing booth. She's like firing up movies she watched a long time ago, but you're gonna love this. And then watching it, she's like, oh, my God, this is so bad. And I'm like, bro, this is it's kissing booth is, you know, I don't again, we're post negativity, but there's an aspect of the movie where it's a, so it's about a girl who is like best friends with this guy and they're, you know, they do like dance, dance revolution together. And there's like, you're like, oh yeah, let's go, bro. And then, but then her, the guy's older brother is an absolute hunk. And she obviously eventually fogs the older brother.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  But then her, her friend who's like the little brother is like, I can't believe you and fuck my brother. And it's like, I thought you guys were friends.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:17Matt McCusker?

  It's like the whole crux of the movie. It's so dumb. And he also has a girlfriend. So he's.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Does the little brother ever get to smash?

• 32:25Matt McCusker?

  No, never. They're, they're like, they'll be like hanging out in the pool. She'll be getting her bra in the pool and be like, oh, what are you doing here? Oh, this is crazy. Let's go, best friend.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  Kissing booth?

• 32:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, kissing booth. It's, it stinks. It's a bad movie.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  Sounds like a stinker.

• 32:40Matt McCusker?

  It's a bad movie, but it's like, oh, what's the fucking guy's name? It's the dude from Salt. Did you see Saltburn?

• 32:45Speaker 00

  No, but Barry O'Keal. Keogan?

• 32:48Matt McCusker?

  The B, yeah, the big hunky guy in Saltburn. He's the hunk. Yeah. He's also in Euphoria.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  Fucking hunk, dude.

• 32:53Matt McCusker?

  He dude, he's a wild hunk.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  I've fucking, there's pictures of him. He wears cool clothes all the time.

• 32:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's a massive.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  He might be the hunk.

• 33:00Matt McCusker?

  I think he is. He's like Aquaman.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  What's that guy's name, dude? He might be number one hunk.

• 33:04Matt McCusker?

  I think he is. Aquaman is just too damn much. I feel like.

• 33:07Speaker 00

  Aquaman is a hunk.

• 33:09Matt McCusker?

  He's like a mythical hunk.

• 33:10Speaker 00

  Aquaman is a mythical hunk, dude.

• 33:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that he's like, it's all it's just.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  He is, he is a sick show. Aquaman is a, it's about the Hawaiian islands.

• 33:18Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 33:18Speaker 00

  About like, yeah, what is it? Jacob Elordi, he is the top. Jacob Elordi is the top hunk, dude.

• 33:24Matt McCusker?

  Big, you gotta watch Saltburn. He hunks out. He is.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  Aquaman is a warrior movie, uh, in Hawaii. It's pretty sick.

• 33:31Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  But I was watching it and I was like, we needed the British, dude.

• 33:35Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 33:35Speaker 00

  We needed gay guys with rifles to show up and get out of there.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  Knock it off hunks.

• 33:40Matt McCusker?

  Knock off the funny business.

• 33:42Speaker 00

  Hunks with sticks coming out of the water.

• 33:44Matt McCusker?

  So Aquaman's from Hawaii?

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:47Matt McCusker?

  Dang, okay.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  Or one of them.

• 33:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Pacific Islander.

• 33:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, somewhere.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  I think he's Hawaiian.

• 33:51Matt McCusker?

  That makes sense. He's like from where the rock, kind of where the rocks from basically.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  Just think of the rock and Aquaman running at you and Troy Palamalu and all the fucking.

• 33:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  You need to, you need gay British guys to be like.

• 34:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh, hold on.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  Listen to us savages.

• 34:05Matt McCusker?

  Let's discuss the concept of land ownership.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's from Hawaii.

• 34:10Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Honolulu.

• 34:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they they crank out, they'll crank out like they'll like spend like every thousand years or something like just like four massive hunks emerge.

• 34:20Matt McCusker?

  Some of one of them just sprouts up because they they're fucking stocky.

• 34:23Speaker 00

  Coming out of the volcanoes. Every hundred fifty years it erupts and fucking six hunks head to the mainland and us whites have to be like, get them out of here. It's too much of a honk.

• 34:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they come out and they're like, chew.

• 34:37Matt McCusker?

  It's a Moana reference, I guess.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, what's that Jacob?

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Jacob Elordi.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 34:43Matt McCusker?

  He's a hunk, bro.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  Bad man. We gotta get rid of that hunk, dude.

• 34:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, that is a dude. Salt. You have to watch Saltburn. It's.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  I can't. I heard somebody sucking come out of a drain, dude. I'm not watching. Once one person told me that, I was like, I'm never gonna watch that movie.

• 34:58Matt McCusker?

  It's just like, what would happen if you put the horniest gay psycho around a hunk? Actually, he's more kind of homosexual, I think.

• 35:05Speaker 00

  It's pretty funny. Doesn't he fuck the whole family or something?

• 35:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he kind of like fucks the whole family, drinks come out of the bathtub. I didn't know anything about it.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Drinks come out of bathtub. It's crazy.

• 35:13Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's and you're like, you can tell the guy's obsessed, but it like out of nowhere, you're like, why are you watching a guy take a basic watch to do jerk off in the bathtub? And then you're going like, all right, this is a little intense. And then as like at the last, the water's going down, he goes. And dude, literally, I didn't know that was even in the movie. I turn around. I was like, Jesus Christ.

• 35:35Matt McCusker?

  It got me. I have a pretty high tolerance for like weird shit.

• 35:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, sucking come out of a tub is fucking devastating, dude. It's disgusting.

• 35:42Matt McCusker?

  Feeding on the shower slugs is crazy, bro.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Dude, think of just the prosthetic shower slug they brought in. Even doing that was disgusting.

• 35:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, apparently. And there's another scene. I don't want to spoil the movie, but uh somebody dies in the movie that's very close to him that he liked a lot and he starts fucking the fresh soil on his grave. And apparently he ad libbed that from what I heard. Like he just improv. They were like, you know, like freak out and cry over his grave and he just on set started fucking the dirt.

• 36:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's it's a.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Does Barry?

• 36:14Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no. Barry, no, no. Barry is just kind of like Barry's pretty fucking cool the whole time, actually.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 36:19Matt McCusker?

  Kind of reminded me of myself, really.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  The the honk sucks the cum?

• 36:23Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no. The honk.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  So Barry sucked the cum?

• 36:25Matt McCusker?

  Wait, who's Barry?

• 36:27Speaker 02

  The little Irish guy.

• 36:28Matt McCusker?

  Okay, my bad. I thought Barry was the honk.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that guy, he's a little, little Irish freak dude came in.

• 36:35Matt McCusker?

  Ah, you've been coming in the bathtub. I'm gonna suck his cock, man. It is, it is funny because again, it is a spoiler, but he like convinces the honk that he comes from this poor family of criminals and it's just all made up. He's a gay psycho.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  He's a gay psycho.

• 36:51Matt McCusker?

  Like, my mother was an alcoholic. It was so bad. And then like they visit his parents and there's a nice middle class family and he's like, I fucked it.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  He's auto farm.

• 36:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Saltburn, it is funny. It's a good Bay movie. Bay's love, Bay's love watching like aristocracy movies. That's in my experience.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  I watched Sinners on the plane for the first time.

• 37:09Matt McCusker?

  How was it?

• 37:10Speaker 02

  No comment.

• 37:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:13Matt McCusker?

  You didn't like it?

• 37:14Speaker 02

  Um, it was fine. It was pretty cool. The fights were cool.

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was, it was fine.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  I was a little, I felt a little bad because I.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Sinners was great.

• 37:23Speaker 00

  Sinners was great as strong, dude.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  It was, I thought it was great and I thought it was, I don't think it was like an evil white man movie either. I went into it thinking that was what it was gonna be and I think it was kind of like bonding.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  It was at the end, yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:37Matt McCusker?

  They bonded?

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, they bonded and.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  Then the clan.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Listening to the director or the writer talk about why he made it Irish and it was because he was like, I fuck with Irish shit. Like I was like, I like the music. I like the people. Uh, and I, I think we have a lot in common and I think that made sense for the movie. It's kind of, kind of sick.

• 37:57Matt McCusker?

  Let's start.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Whatever you say, man.

• 38:01Matt McCusker?

  I shut my ass up and listen.

• 38:03Speaker 00

  The Irish, the Irish music did get me hyped.

• 38:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 00

  He said it gives him hype. Rockin' round the Dublin that time.

• 38:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  It was cool. I liked it. There's the one scene where there's like, he's playing in the barn and then like a Bootsy Collins type character like manifests and he's like playing that part. I was like, this movie sucks. And then it slowly started winning me back by the end where he kills all the KKK guys. I was like, alright, this was actually kinda cool again.

• 38:27Matt McCusker?

  That's tight. Wait, so like.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  He goes beast mode on the KKK.

• 38:30Matt McCusker?

  Bootsy, how's Bootsy Collins come up in the thing?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  It was just like, there's like a break dancer.

• 38:35Matt McCusker?

  Gotcha.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  It's so unnecessary to me.

• 38:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  It was kinda the gay shit in the world to me.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  They got to the twerking part, which I thought was funny.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:43Speaker 00

  It's like, this is our culture. It's just a lady shaking her asshole.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, and like a break dancer.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's just as good as old blues. Our culture is evolving.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  It was kinda like, yeah, I, that part I hated. It was, it was okay. And then that part made me hate it. And then it sorta won me back with all the cool fights.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  But I still, still not a huge fan.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  The fights had some holes in it, cuz like, I don't know, whatever. The vampires suddenly became pussies at one point.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was.

• 39:14Speaker 00

  They were like, yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  The praise, and then all the praise, it kind of, I felt like it was a little overrated.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  Of course. Yeah, if you wanna get into, there's a.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  It was neat, it was neat flick.

• 39:24Matt McCusker?

  If you go to, uh, whatever rides inside that Epcot ball, if you wanna get like a, they do like a European history or like Ameri, kinda like western civilization, if you wanna get that, it's, it's actually, I could see it. If you're, if you're black, that's probably sick to watch, cuz I was on the, like, that ride in Disney World. It's just like, basically European civilization and like, from like the dawn of time all the way to modern times. And you kinda do get fired up, like, damn, this is fucking sick. I forgot, fuck, I forgot about ancient Greece. That was sick. And it goes all the way to the modern time. And literally you end, you're like, there's nothing we can't do. It's pretty sick.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:55Matt McCusker?

  So, no, seriously.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  I know, it's just funny.

• 39:57Matt McCusker?

  I mean, America.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  I know, but it's funny to be, there's nothing we can't do.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  That's what you got out of that? You went on Epcot and you got out like, the white race.

• 40:08Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you that, you know, I'm the least racist guy in America, dude.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  That's true. And we're post-negative.

• 40:13Matt McCusker?

  But it, if I got me, that Walt Disney's fucking antisemitic propaganda got me. I'm like, yeah, dude, fuck yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sick. You just start and it has like these little like animatronic puppets reenacting like all the eons of history and it's actually pretty tight.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  It's pretty sick. I went to Epcot once.

• 40:29Matt McCusker?

  Did you?

• 40:29Speaker 00

  My dad just got drunk the entire time. Drank around the world and I was just in fifth grade.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  We didn't go on one ride. My mom was like, it's so nice you're taking him to Disney.

• 40:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's so funny.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  Just watched my dad drink at Disney. Went on like two rides, he got hammered. Drove home, beast.

• 40:49Matt McCusker?

  That's so tight. Yeah, what was funny is you-

• 40:52Speaker 00

  It's fucking hot out here, let's get out of here.

• 40:56Matt McCusker?

  That was fun. Yeah, I went to Disney a long time ago. My older brothers were beating me up for a lot of it. I remember I ran away from them and hopped on a boat by myself as a child and like it took me to Epcot. I just walked around alone, Disney World.

• 41:08Speaker 00

  That's pretty cool.

• 41:09Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty sick. I had, remember I had still stitches in my lip and I just kinda like walked around with a big cut in my face. Just like went back home, it was like tight.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:17Matt McCusker?

  No problem. Yeah, a little 10 year old child.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  What do you think about a Chipotle break?

• 41:22Matt McCusker?

  Let's take a Chipotle break. I gotta pee like a mother.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Time out, Chipotle.

• 41:25Matt McCusker?

  Time out.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Glenn Powell is Chad Powers.

• 41:32Matt McCusker?

  Coming September 30th to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus. Eight years after flushing his college football career down the toilet, hotshot quarterback Russ Holiday makes a comeback disguised as Chad Powers.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Sounds like an oddball athletic talent who walks onto the struggling South Georgia Catfish, determined to once again take college football by storm.

• 41:56Matt McCusker?

  Watch the hilarious new Hulu original series Chad Powers. September 30th, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Terms apply.

• 42:07Matt McCusker?

  This is huge. This is fucking huge. Guys, we have some clubs coming up. I am very excited. Here they are right now. Helium Comedy Club, Buffalo, New York, October 17th, or October 18th as well. Then Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma. That's 10/24, 10/25. And here comes the big one, Off the Hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida, November 7th, November 8th.

• 42:30Speaker 00

  That's gonna be a good one.

• 42:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, a blast.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  October 17th and 18th, I'm in Las Vegas. And November 7th and 8th, the 7th, November 7th, I'm in San Francisco. November 8th, I'm in Sacramento. And then I got December 4th Tucson, December 5th Phoenix. So come on, y'all. What were we talking about before Chipotle so rudely interrupted us?

• 42:52Matt McCusker?

  They were talking about Disney World.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  I forget.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Disney World.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Disney World does rule. I went there last year and it's or two, I don't know, year or two ago. It was, I was like, I was hating on it. I was like, this is gonna suck. And I got there and I was like, this is actually.

• 43:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gotta be awesome.

• 43:05Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty tight, honestly. It just gets too crowded, but.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Isn't there like a conspiracy that they traffic children out of Disney World?

• 43:12Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  That's what I was thinking of when you said you were walking around alone. I was worried. You were gonna get.

• 43:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, got me, bro.

• 43:20Matt McCusker?

  Not me, man. But no, they uh.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Not to be negative.

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  I mean, they like kidnap you at this, you could really snag kids there pretty easy. It could get so crowded. I got kind of, I was there with my kids and at one point at like noon, it got so crowded, you could hardly move. So you have to like really kind of hold them.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  They have like a tunnel system under there and you know what they do in the tunnels.

• 43:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  That's for trafficking kids.

• 43:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you, it's, you know, if you were like a child trafficking organization, yeah, I could see setup shop there.

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Be a good spot, yeah.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Honestly, I got the coffee jitters right now. I'm feeling weird.

• 43:51Matt McCusker?

  They get about child trafficking?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm feeling really weird right now.

• 43:54Matt McCusker?

  They get them, yes.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  I feel weird that I'm talking different.

• 43:56Matt McCusker?

  I go to a lot of uh, I go to a lot of play places and they, they worry about that there where they, you have to get like this, uh, like a UV stamp on your hand that like matches your kids. Cause if the stamps don't match up. So I think in Texas they do have like.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:09Matt McCusker?

  They're like really worried about that. Cause you can grab kids and three hours gone. But yeah. So yeah, you gotta be careful. There's even like a, it's an old wives' tale that the Target near my house is like, they'll like chalk tires. If they see like just ladies, just ladies with their kids, they'll kind of mark your cars and then they kind of wait by it and snag your kids when you come back.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  I've heard about this.

• 44:30Matt McCusker?

  Could just be ladies scaring each other.

• 44:32Speaker 00

  Why would they chalk the tires?

• 44:33Matt McCusker?

  It's just like it marks that way. You kind of like, you have someone go by and mark it, then another guy kind of just checks and waits by the car, I guess. I don't know, to be honest, that's a.

• 44:40Speaker 00

  Cause all that would do is see if you moved. That's why you chalk a tire.

• 44:43Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 44:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:45Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  Maybe market at a certain point that way when you move.

• 44:48Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 44:49Speaker 00

  It's a different spot.

• 44:50Matt McCusker?

  I was thinking just kinda like, put an identifier on there, be like, yo, if you see this, someone coming back to this car, snag your kid.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  That can't be real.

• 44:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and all, yeah, there's, it's just ladies go shopping by themselves.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Somebody's like, just giving a fucking hookup to a random guy?

• 45:03Matt McCusker?

  No, I think it's like, one guy's the chalker, then you have like, the kidnappers, I don't know, it's, it's just ladies freaking each other out.

• 45:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:09Matt McCusker?

  They go out and drink wine, they're like, I think they just are shopping and see Mexican guys, like, oh fuck.

• 45:16Matt McCusker?

  But no, there's, there's been, through like, the grapevine of like, wives in the area, I've heard of like, there's a couple of them that claim to have encounters, where like, a guy was walking up to the car, or something like that.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  I've heard of that, I've had, heard a few of these stories too.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  What's going on with the guys?

• 45:30Matt McCusker?

  Just wanna snag your kids, man.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  They're just walking up to the car going, you are mine.

• 45:36Matt McCusker?

  Hey, can I have your child, please? I'd like to take your kids. Dude, it's my, my kids now, cause they're building houses near my house, and my kids come out every morning and go, hola! I said to the Mexican dudes, it's really funny, it's very sweet, this one guy turned around the other day, he was like, hey, hello guys, and they were like, hola! English is boring.

• 45:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:57Matt McCusker?

  It's like, the dudes get fired up, they're, they're up on the roof, and there's my kids just standing there going, hola!

• 46:03Matt McCusker?

  I had a, some, one of the guys on the construction site smashed my trash can.

• 46:06Speaker 00

  What the fuck?

• 46:07Matt McCusker?

  It was an accident, it was with the lull, it was like, that like, big giant forklift thing, just smashed my planner and my, my trash can.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  Ah shit.

• 46:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's always, it's weird though, cause like, I don't, I don't fucking care, it's like, alright, we'll get a new trash can, we'll get a planner, like, they're gonna pay for it, they're a big construction company, and like, my wife gets so mad, I'm like, yo, this doesn't, this literally doesn't matter.

• 46:27Speaker 00

  It does not matter.

• 46:28Matt McCusker?

  Doesn't matter, I, I had to go over and talk to him today, and like, dude, we're so sorry, I was like, I don't give a fuck, but, you gotta kinda, you gotta switch it up, I might claim, neck injury.

• 46:38Speaker 00

  You should.

• 46:39Matt McCusker?

  Like, dude, I was right behind the trash can when you hit it, and now my neck is killing me, you guys gotta redo my front portion.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  You guys are a multimillion dollar construction company?

• 46:49Matt McCusker?

  I got the plumbers at my house right now.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  Dude?

• 46:52Matt McCusker?

  There's roots in the plumbing. And I was embarrassed because like yesterday and today they've been there and I went out like twice or three times and I was like, I can like use the toilet, right? Like I'm like asking them permission to shit.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Yo.

• 47:05Matt McCusker?

  It's embarrassing. They keep being like, yeah, man, you're fine.

• 47:07Speaker 00

  Plumbers here for the last two weeks.

• 47:08Matt McCusker?

  It's embarrassing.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  And they, I, uh, they told me a time. They were like 7 a.m. to 1 p.m.

• 47:13Matt McCusker?

  Hmm.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  No plumbing.

• 47:16Speaker 00

  Around 12, 12:30, 12:45. I was like, it's gotta be done by now. Sent a dump down the plumbing. It was open. I got phone calls immediately. They're like, you can't use the toilet.

• 47:28Matt McCusker?

  Where'd it go?

• 47:29Speaker 00

  I don't know. I don't know where the dump went.

• 47:30Matt McCusker?

  Where'd the pile go?

• 47:31Speaker 00

  The pile might've come flying at one of those poor fucks.

• 47:34Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  I mean, I thought they were gone, dude.

• 47:37Matt McCusker?

  Oh, dude, it probably flew out of the side of the house.

• 47:40Speaker 00

  That's what I'm so worried about. So Chipotle beer pile came flying right at him. Yeah, that was, I could've sworn by 12:45.

• 47:51Matt McCusker?

  Where did it go? How the hell did they know?

• 47:53Speaker 00

  They knew right away. I think it's literally an open pipe.

• 47:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, because they, they're doing like, yeah, outside work.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:58Matt McCusker?

  And they came back. Dude, I, I was outside last night before they smashed my trash can and I was like, so I had bought a bunch of soils. I'm like planting a bunch of stuff. And there was a guy in, behind the fence of the construction site just going like, ugh, just, I think it was like-

• 48:13Speaker 00

  I got hit with a dump, dude.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  They were gone, dude. No one was here.

• 48:19Matt McCusker?

  It wasn't here, is that my?

• 48:20Speaker 00

  I know, but I'm, I'm back to defending mine because I realize as a listener, you might be very furious at me. I'd be mad if I heard someone else do that. I'd be like, fucking wait. I thought they were gone, dude.

• 48:30Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the, yeah, true.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  That's a really evil thing to do.

• 48:33Matt McCusker?

  There's probably just a dump behind your wall somewhere.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  There's been a dump in my wall for fucking two years. They finally fixed it, but-

• 48:41Matt McCusker?

  Don't get me started on these new houses, dude. It's criminal. Framing, framing with two by fours alone is a criminal move, dude. It's gotta be two by sixes. Yeah, they, they really, they, they fuck everybody, dude. Everything's, it's, I think this is, this is wood, but a lot of the houses are just all plastic. It's like plastic fucking composite wood. It's just basically like mushed together. It's, they, they really get away with murder and then they just, you know, be like, this is a luxury house. And you're like, how?

• 49:06Speaker 00

  You go, it's in Austin. It's eight million dollars. You go, this is?

• 49:10Matt McCusker?

  They're doing it everywhere. They're doing it in Philly too. And it's just, they build them. It's, don't get me started, dude. It pisses me off. It's really, it's like a really evil thing to do. To like, I mean, it's one thing to try to like save some money, but they'll like, it's gonna, there's going to be massive problems. There's like, sue us. Look, I just spent all of my money on this house. I can't sue you.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  You made the house ten million dollars. It's two bedrooms. It's crazy.

• 49:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's really shitty. Especially here.

• 49:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're getting fast and loose with the pool too.

• 49:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 49:42Speaker 00

  I, I walked outside, the, just the hot tub was empty one day. Just water, I don't know where that water went.

• 49:46Matt McCusker?

  Bro, you could've jumped in there and got hurt.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  I know. That's a big fight. It's deep. Fucking six feet deep.

• 49:52Matt McCusker?

  Cannonballing. Ah! Ah, fuck!

• 49:55Speaker 00

  You're just stuck down there.

• 49:59Matt McCusker?

  We should get real litigious.

• 50:01Speaker 00

  Could be time for us.

• 50:02Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna sue those builders for sure.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's time to start suing people.

• 50:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Ah, my neck. I should've laid by the trash can like, ah, ah, god damn it. What the hell, man?

• 50:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're pretty funny. The guy was like, you got a neighbor you don't like? Maybe just switch it with your neighbors. I was like, brother,

• 50:18Speaker 00

  Fuck it.

• 50:19Matt McCusker?

  I won't be doing that. But yeah, I, I think, yeah, well, whatever. I, I do think, there's a guy where like, yo, we got it. And then I went to like the actual, I guess they had a bunch of their subs. And I went to the, like the, uh, foreman or manager or whatever. And I was like, hey, just wanna follow up on this. And he was like, what? He came and saw it and I was like, he was like, you know who it was? And I was like, describe the guys.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  Nah.

• 50:39Matt McCusker?

  He was just kinda, I described him.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:41Matt McCusker?

  I don't want them passing the buck.

• 50:43Speaker 00

  It's probably tough to.

• 50:45Matt McCusker?

  Hold on.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, how do you describe him?

• 50:47Matt McCusker?

  Well, it was.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Wearing a crazy outfit.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Sunglasses, face covered.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Wearing Ed Hardy jeans.

• 50:52Matt McCusker?

  I was like, the one guy was like a short, kinda plump, Mexican guy. Uh, you should probably find him. And that, yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  And the other one was a short, plump Mexican guy.

• 51:04Matt McCusker?

  Now, they got it on cam.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  They're going with the I am Spartacus.

• 51:06Matt McCusker?

  True. They got it on cam. We have one of the, they have those giant fucking eyes, this guy.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  It's gonna be impossible.

• 51:13Matt McCusker?

  Hmm?

• 51:14Speaker 00

  It's still gonna be impossible.

• 51:18Matt McCusker?

  Like a Where's Waldo picture. Yeah, true. Well, we'll see. We'll see, uh, we'll see what they come up with, cause my trash can is fucked up right now.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  That's bullshit.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  How'd they even, it's plastic, right?

• 51:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they just fucking ran it over. You know, it's like giant forklift, it's sort of a lull where they like lift, it's like a forklift that like can extend like a boom and go like up like three stories? It's one of those, they've been whipping those things around. And, yeah, they fucking caught my planner. Luckily, if I had something in it, I'd have been fucking pissed, but it was empty. So I got my watermelons growing. I cannot wait to harvest my watermelons.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  That's gonna be awesome. When do you, when does that happen?

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I think, I think in a maybe a month or two, hopefully before it gets too chilly. So I was, I'm pumped about that. I got watermelons and plant some garlic, which is about, I heard like a year-long process.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 52:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  Trying to keep the vampires out. You, you have a sinner's garden.

• 52:08Speaker 00

  You have a full sinner's garden.

• 52:15Speaker 00

  Alright, well, for being racist, uh,

• 52:18Speaker 00

  I was at, uh, Chicken Chip Bingo. And it was me and, uh, three African-Americans.

• 52:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  And, uh, they feed the chicken watermelon.

• 52:29Matt McCusker?

  Do they really?

• 52:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:30Matt McCusker?

  Get it to shit?

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Get them, yeah, I guess. And I was just standing there and I was like, don't look, dude. You'll go crazy.

• 52:38Speaker 00

  If you see what's going on in there, you're gonna go crazy. Don't look.

• 52:41Matt McCusker?

  You talking about a watermelon-fed chicken?

• 52:43Speaker 00

  Watermelon chicken.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Don't avert your eyes, bro. Tie yourself to the mess. It's a siren.

• 52:53Matt McCusker?

  It's like in France when they dip the pigeons in cognac.

• 52:57Speaker 00

  Oh, man, that thing's probably good eating, too. We've talked about before, black people get a terrible rap for that.

• 53:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  That sucks.

• 53:04Matt McCusker?

  So unfair.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  The most delicious foods.

• 53:06Matt McCusker?

  I told you, I was working with a guy one time and we're leaving a construction site and I don't know how we came into this. Wherever we were working, maybe we were next to like a supermarket and someone just like gave us some watermelon and some other stuff. And my black coworker was carrying the watermelon and I could tell he was walking home with it and he was just like walking back to the car. At one point he was getting kind of uneasy and I was like, bro, you want me to carry that thing for you? He's like, dude, yeah, I just feel fucking crazy holding this thing.

• 53:31Speaker 00

  Last night, Brian Simpson walked into the green room eating a banana. Tony immediately was like, he took one bite, he was like, oh, fuck. And then I was like, Tony, you can't eat it. You'd be gay. Also funny. I was like, you tie your hair back to eat bananas, dude.

• 53:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, getting crushed.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  Food stereotypes, that hurts.

• 53:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 53:53Speaker 00

  Especially fried chicken, so good.

• 53:55Matt McCusker?

  So good. And dude, meanwhile, Koreans are the real fried chicken hounds.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, they are.

• 53:59Matt McCusker?

  Koreans love fried chicken.

• 54:01Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 54:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, well, they've, you know, they're protecting the merchandise.

• 54:08Matt McCusker?

  Now, the Korean black connection's strong. Korean black connection's strong.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  True.

• 54:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, very strong. I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice.

• 54:18Speaker 00

  That'll do it.

• 54:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's, you know, he's got his reasons.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Dude, I'd be pretty upset.

• 54:23Matt McCusker?

  He wasn't even.

• 54:24Speaker 00

  Stabbed twice, I'd be like, yeah, I'm racist.

• 54:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the story, he was in a convenience store that sold 40s. He's like, I worked in the 40 deli. Very bad neighbors. He always called it neighbors. The neighbors were very bad. Got stabbed.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Fucking, that's, I mean.

• 54:41Matt McCusker?

  So down the 40 deli. He was wearing, he was wearing his very Korean socks and flip flops.

• 54:46Speaker 00

  You're gonna die in there. You gotta go down with the ship in the 40 deli. Fort Lauderdale to North Philly is just-

• 54:53Matt McCusker?

  Ah, it's crazy. Polo fleece, socks of flip flops, being like, oh, wait a minute.

• 54:59Matt McCusker?

  Getting fucking poked for the forty. Just two silver thunders, like, let him go, bro. They cost you three dollars. Let him go.

• 55:06Speaker 00

  They do defend their wares.

• 55:08Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not shoplifting, dude. They're coming out.

• 55:10Matt McCusker?

  No, man.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  Hit you with a stick, dude. They have ninja turtle weapons.

• 55:14Matt McCusker?

  He kept that thing on him.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 55:16Matt McCusker?

  He used to love to show us. Me and my brother worked for him. He'd be like, oh, pull it out. I'm like, dude, sick, man. What's up? Use it, pussy. Shoot someone.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  You had a gun on you and you got stabbed twice?

• 55:27Matt McCusker?

  I think that's, I think that's the reason you got the gun finally, yeah.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  After the stab me twice.

• 55:31Speaker 00

  You stabbed me twice.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Can't get stabbed again.

• 55:33Matt McCusker?

  And he wasn't like, he wasn't like, he wasn't vitriolic or like mean about it. He'd be like, because I would like have to deliver to like certain areas and he'd be like, be very careful. Lots of bad people. He's just like, you might get stabbed. Be careful.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:48Matt McCusker?

  Was never mean. But yeah, that was the one time he teetered on the edge when he-

• 55:52Speaker 00

  That's fair, though. That's like, uh-

• 55:54Matt McCusker?

  You get stabbed.

• 55:55Speaker 00

  If you get stabbed twice and somebody's going back to that neighborhood, that would be like somebody going to like Elm Street. You'd be like, there's Freddy Krueger there, so.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  Like, Michael Myers lives in that neighborhood, so just, you might get fucking stabbed. It's a horror movie. That's terrifying.

• 56:12Matt McCusker?

  I've talked about it before, but it'd always make me laugh because he, he's always rattling off business ideas. And the one time he was like talking about pet shops. He's like, uh, pet shops is a good business. And I was sitting there and I was like, okay, like, just waiting for another delivery.

• 56:25Speaker 00

  I know what's next.

• 56:25Matt McCusker?

  Uh, black people love a pitbull. And I was like, no, bro, come on. But he was like not being, he was like, no, no, no, dude, buy a lot of stuff at the pitbull. And I was like, I was like, all right, so where are these going? He's like, uh-

• 56:38Speaker 00

  He's like, oh, be very careful.

• 56:41Matt McCusker?

  Dude was funny as hell. I told you, he showed my brother his dick.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  I forgot about this. I'd like to hear about it again.

• 56:48Matt McCusker?

  My brother's dick. He was just complaining how he couldn't get hard. He couldn't get any power. He called it power. Oh, I got no power.

• 56:54Speaker 00

  I have no power.

• 56:55Matt McCusker?

  No power.

• 56:55Speaker 00

  I'm gonna steal that.

• 56:58Matt McCusker?

  He like, had just showed my brother his gun, then he goes, huh, and just flashed in his penis. I was like, yo, what the fuck? Oh, no power.

• 57:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude was the fucking man.

• 57:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, it sounds like it.

• 57:12Matt McCusker?

  So funny. That was the guy who told me, if I get my girlfriend pregnant, I lose. He's like, oh, make sure to wear condom. You get her pregnant, you lose. He's a fucking beast.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  He's all over it.

• 57:23Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he would sit.

• 57:24Speaker 00

  I wonder what he's up to now. He's probably been stabbed a third time by now.

• 57:28Matt McCusker?

  He would sit, I would drive deliveries, he would sit in the passenger side, Indian style, and just be like, whoa, duh, and just sing Korean songs himself. Such a beast. Yeah, he was a man. He had a beamer, and he just eventually just started loading it with beer, cases of beer, and just be like, I'll take it in my car. And just you, he just trashed his car. The Koreans are very fly. It's, they're the flyest Asians by far. So, let it be known, Chinese people get fly, but it's kind of like space age fly.

• 57:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:56Matt McCusker?

  Koreans just like, cop beamers, fucking crush, crushed fried chicken. Really sick. They definitely peeped game, dude.

• 58:04Speaker 00

  Showing your dick to your boys, though, is nice. Like, having no.

• 58:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 58:08Speaker 00

  Having no fucking, any worries at all, just be like, dude, I can't even get hard, look at this thing.

• 58:12Matt McCusker?

  Nah, dude, he.

• 58:15Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy. It's also too, like, you can diagnose that problem by looking at a man's flaccy penis. Yeah, it's really soft right now. Yeah, dude, you're not lying, your penis is soft as hell.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  It's so small.

• 58:26Matt McCusker?

  It's fucking Tuesday at 10 a.m.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  It's got small penis, what the fuck?

• 58:30Matt McCusker?

  We're in a chili warehouse in December, at 10 a.m. It's crazy, your dick is so soft right now.

• 58:35Speaker 00

  I saw your face, Nate. You didn't like that. You didn't like that I got away with saying that?

• 58:40Matt McCusker?

  No, it's fine.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  I was like, it's nice, it's nice you can kind of show your dick to some guy, and I just watched naked.

• 58:47Matt McCusker?

  He's like, and I'm zesty. No, I'm embracing it now. I'm leaning it, it's fine. I just was, I just still had that thing. Yo, normalize it.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's fine.

• 58:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, just post up and be like, what's up, guys? Do a cool handshake, and go, what? I'm gonna sit on La Mer's egg for him, he's a dragon egg, I'm gonna hatch it.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Wait, what?

• 59:04Matt McCusker?

  Excuse me? He's got a, La Mer's got a dragon egg, I'm gonna sit on it and hatch it for him. It's a whole thing we've got.

• 59:09Speaker 00

  Yo, what the fuck? We're joking around.

• 59:15Speaker 00

  You gonna sit on the mayor's dragon egg?

• 59:19Matt McCusker?

  Dragon egg? You guys really don't know how to joke around about gay stuff, do you? This is crazy, dude.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  It's new to them. You guys are the first generation to adopt the white way of being constantly gay.

• 59:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like, wait, that's not how you use it.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  What the shit?

• 59:35Speaker 00

  What the damn?

• 59:37Matt McCusker?

  Yo, I'm gonna fucking throw up my boy.

• 59:41Matt McCusker?

  Just fucking smack his balls.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. I touched your penis today.

• 59:45Matt McCusker?

  He got me underwater.

• 59:47Speaker 00

  What, underwater?

• 59:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bro, there's levels to this shit, bro.

• 59:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's how you do it. Well, you guys, once you master swimming,

• 59:56Speaker 00

  you guys are gonna get swimming and gay shit.

• 59:59Speaker 00

  Some guy, some guy was like, you wanna try these goggles? I was like, yeah, I'll try them. And I put on goggles, immediately just went underwater. Squeezed Matt's balls.

• 1:00:08Matt McCusker?

  Got a cold water penis in his hand.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  There's nothing wrong with going underwater and giving someone a little, especially because you can hear it through the water, which is very funny.

• 1:00:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I had a little, I was working with a little crappy, I had no power. I had no power.

• 1:00:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, true, I didn't even think about that. I didn't, I didn't get a grip. Just say no.

• 1:00:30Matt McCusker?

  I was just laughing, like, dang, that was, that was not a good one.

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  Caught another penis? Yeah, somebody caught my penis in there.

• 1:00:35Matt McCusker?

  Caught a goldfish, there was a goldfish flapping around there.

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  There was a guppy down there.

• 1:00:40Matt McCusker?

  It was fine and emo.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  Water was cold.

• 1:00:44Matt McCusker?

  I liked, it was refreshing, man. But yeah, it was chilly. I was so, I, I just had to jump right in, man. I can't, I can't walk in, I gotta just.

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Tried.

• 1:00:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  I thought I could Godzilla walk it.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  That's a tough Godzilla walk.

• 1:00:54Speaker 00

  I had to just stop halfway.

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  It's worse, it's worse doing it.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  It got worse.

• 1:00:58Matt McCusker?

  That was my second time swimming today.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  Godzilla walks powerful though in the cold water.

• 1:01:02Matt McCusker?

  It's very tight. It is very tight. But yeah, the dive landed right on my back. I tried it, I just wanted to feel out a gainer off the diving board. Bro, fucking landed flat on, my back felt like it was on fire. It hurt so bad. But whatever. So it happens.

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  It was fine.

• 1:01:18Matt McCusker?

  Back, the backflips have been, I have a backflip.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  You're over, you're going too far.

• 1:01:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm going too far.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're getting too much.

• 1:01:25Matt McCusker?

  Front flip, I landed like, yeah, right on my fucking face.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're overextending on these flips.

• 1:01:30Matt McCusker?

  Got it.

• 1:01:30Speaker 00

  You're too powerful.

• 1:01:31Matt McCusker?

  I gotta get to the one and a half, that'd be nasty. Hitting the one and a half would be cool.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  You're close.

• 1:01:35Matt McCusker?

  I could, yeah, if I kept ripping, I could definitely do it.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  You ever see those videos of, uh, the African Americanies jumping into the pool with all of their clothes on?

• 1:01:43Speaker 00

  I think that's a Memphis thing.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's very fun to watch.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  We should do that at Barton Springs.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  We could do that at Barton Springs. It'd be tough to get out fast.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  You gotta keep kinda cycling.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was at a wedding recently and, uh, I had, it was a black wedding and a lot of people were jumping in that night, like, in all their clothes and I was like kinda confused, like, what is it? Then I saw the internet, I was like, okay.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:06Matt McCusker?

  It's a viral trend.

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  Were they doing that?

• 1:02:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I wasn't there.

• 1:02:08Speaker 00

  Lay flat? Oh, damn.

• 1:02:09Matt McCusker?

  We got, we got, uh, we got the video, they went back and, uh, we were at a different resort and then they went back.

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  I don't know why, I thought that was a Memphis thing.

• 1:02:16Speaker 02

  Could be right.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  Will you look that up? Will you look into that, Jarvis?

• 1:02:23Matt McCusker?

  Could've started in Memphis.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  I don't know why. It's how I got to Memphis.

• 1:02:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's a, uh, it's, it's pretty crazy. I mean, it looks cool in the video when you jump in with all your clothes, but I'm like, what do you do after?

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Cut a rug?

• 1:02:36Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:02:38Speaker 00

  Stab a crane?

• 1:02:43Speaker 00

  Go to the 40's store and go, yeah, this is mine.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Like you were flipping in the pools?

• 1:02:53Matt McCusker?

  Memphis.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  But then like, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of Memphis. This is what YouTube showed me. They're all like, Memphis pool parties look like this.

• 1:03:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it looks sick as hell.

• 1:03:02Matt McCusker?

  I, I do like the black streaming game.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:03:05Matt McCusker?

  It's fucking sick. I don't understand any of it, but there is massive fortunes being amassed.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Matt McCusker?

  By dude, yeah.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  High speed.

• 1:03:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's just the fucking, uh, line of chat flying down, it's just dudes like, it's pretty sick.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, Kodak.

• 1:03:19Matt McCusker?

  I kinda wanna steal it and have our.

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  Kodak had a great appearance.

• 1:03:21Matt McCusker?

  Kodak's was so good, a little glitch for the Twitch.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Fucking awesome.

• 1:03:25Matt McCusker?

  I kinda wanna steal the swag and for all of our episodes, let's have like a fake chat log flying down, just be like, CTF you, skulls, CTF you, skulls.

• 1:03:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm for it.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Just chilling in an apartment.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Pretty tight. I saw Speed went to the stand. I saw that. Saw that. I didn't realize he went to the show and those cameras have like a huge light on it. Oh, God. While Aaron Berg was on stage and he's just in the back filming Aaron Berg with a huge spotlight on him. Oh, my God. And then he went on stage, did a backflip, barked, and then ran out. Yeah. That's pretty tight. Yeah, it was awesome. Pretty sick, yeah. That's what it's all about now. Jungle Joe made an appearance. Who's that? The Jungle Joe. Jungle Joe. Oh, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. We're in an hour? Okay. Hell, yeah. Arrivederci. Yeah, there it is. Ciao. Bye.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

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