"Claire Danes"

It’s our start-gift: Claire Danes. Cursed cows, Moroccan cats, a Kentucky Schnoodle, and “very cute dirt.” It’s another episode of ‘How To Remain Employed and Local,’ also known (in some circles) as SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

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• 1:25Sean Hayes?

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• 2:01Sean Hayes?

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• 2:54Sean Hayes?

  That was a good drink. Speaking of drinking things up, welcome to Smartless.

• 3:16Sean Hayes?

  So, listener, you've missed 10 seconds of this, of this, another attempt at us doing a podcast where I mentioned how fresh Will looks. And then Will seemed to imply he knew his way around the verbiage of a facial. And I, I had a facial scheduled for the other day because my wife is very-

• 3:40Jason Bateman?

  What was the dude's name?

• 3:41Sean Hayes?

  Oh, you. My wife's very diligent about getting me a facial, making sure I get a facial every, like, six months. And I gotta say, I don't push back a lot. Yeah. You know? Because you, because it feels good.

• 3:58Jason Bateman?

  Because it's comfy. It's comfy, it feels good. I feel weird with, you know, I got a tiny bit of prepubescent facial hair on my, on my face. And I wonder if it's, I'm just wasting my time in there. I don't know with the effectiveness.

• 4:12Sean Hayes?

  They do a lot of guys like that. I, I, I forget to shave a lot of times too, but you know, I just got one last week and it was really bad.

• 4:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, well, that's what I was gonna ask. How, how often am I the only guy here?

• 4:23Sean Hayes?

  No, I get them, I get them like once or twice a year. But, but the last one I had, I didn't, this is no offense to anybody, I just didn't understand a lot of what she said. So I, she, she, she was, you know.

• 4:35Jason Bateman?

  Why would anybody take any offense to that?

• 4:37Sean Hayes?

  Well, I just didn't understand her.

• 4:38Will Arnett?

  If you want to do an imitation of what she sounded like, then we'll decide if it's offensive.

• 4:44Sean Hayes?

  I do not want to. I just am stating a fact. I did not understand. It's probably my fault.

• 4:48Will Arnett?

  I was trying to, I was trying to, I was trying to drag you into deep water.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  Let me just, can you, can you just reveal what continent she may have been from?

• 4:55Sean Hayes?

  Something eastern, eastern, Asia.

• 4:59Jason Bateman?

  But not Eastern European, because that'd be a different, a different accent.

• 5:03Sean Hayes?

  But, well, anyway.

• 5:04Will Arnett?

  I feel like I've had a, a couple facials in my time as well. I think I've probably had eight total in my life, and I think they've generally been um, Eastern European, an Eastern European bent.

• 5:15Jason Bateman?

  That's right. You're saying, you're in, you're, you're under oath now, sir, you need to understand. Only, only eight facials in your life?

• 5:25Will Arnett?

  Maybe 10.

• 5:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Sean Hayes?

  God, I don't know about that.

• 5:28Will Arnett?

  Honestly, honestly.

• 5:29Sean Hayes?

  Really? You don't like them?

• 5:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I do like them, and it's one of those things, it's kind of like massages. I always forget.

• 5:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I fall asleep.

• 5:34Will Arnett?

  I do it and then I go, oh, this is great.

• 5:36Jason Bateman?

  How many times have you had your fingers and toes done?

• 5:40Sean Hayes?

  While they're, while the facials?

• 5:41Jason Bateman?

  No, no, no, no, it's separate, separate session.

• 5:43Will Arnett?

  Are we talking, are we talking mani-pedi?

• 5:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, babe.

• 5:45Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 5:47Jason Bateman?

  And.

• 5:48Will Arnett?

  I would say, I would say.

• 5:50Jason Bateman?

  Less or more than your face?

• 5:52Will Arnett?

  I got my first, my first time I ever had a, a pedicure, a manicure was when I was 30, no, but I was about 31, probably 32.

• 6:03Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, so it's been, it's been, what, 30 years since then?

• 6:08Will Arnett?

  And so I would say I probably have, I don't know, 25?

• 6:15Jason Bateman?

  So more on the fa- on the fingers and the toes?

• 6:18Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:19Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 6:19Will Arnett?

  Generally not the fingers, generally just the toes, because they get kind of gnarly.

• 6:23Jason Bateman?

  Right, and you do like an open-

• 6:24Will Arnett?

  And my heel gets gnarly.

• 6:24Jason Bateman?

  You like an open-toe shoe.

• 6:26Will Arnett?

  I used to, remember? I used to, I used to wear a lot of flips.

• 6:28Sean Hayes?

  Well, you don't wear socks, ever.

• 6:30Will Arnett?

  And I never wore socks, so my heels get kind of gross, they'd get cracked.

• 6:34Sean Hayes?

  Do you wear underwear?

• 6:35Will Arnett?

  Yes.

• 6:36Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 6:37Will Arnett?

  Why are we focusing on, Jason never wears underwear.

• 6:39Sean Hayes?

  No, there was, there was, there was a stretch there through Arrested Development where I went commando for some weird reason.

• 6:45Will Arnett?

  And then he would go to, and then he'd go for a pee, and then he, and then he'd wrap his unit in toilet paper for the half an hour so it could soak up all the driplets, and then-

• 6:52Jason Bateman?

  Rushing to get back on camera, and I don't want a spot.

• 6:54Will Arnett?

  And 20 minutes later, like in between setups, he'd like pull out this disgusting toilet paper and put it in a, in a 35-kg trash can. On set, true story.

• 7:04Jason Bateman?

  Um, so wow, so Manny Petty's often facial, not so much?

• 7:10Will Arnett?

  Not often, I mean, I probably got one, I got one in the spring, Manny Petty. Uh, I like going at like 9 a.m., I go to a spot, I've gotten a few times, I like going at 9 a.m.

• 7:21Sean Hayes?

  This is disgusting.

• 7:22Will Arnett?

  Right when they, by the way, says you, you live like a pampered prince, if people knew how you live.

• 7:29Jason Bateman?

  Dude, I don't have a, I don't have a target time, I like to hit my Manny Petty's on, you know? At my, what was that, my spot, is that what you said? I have a spot?

• 7:38Will Arnett?

  I have a spot over here.

• 7:39Jason Bateman?

  And it's always fingers and toes at the same time, you ever go in for just the one, one or the other, because you rush for time?

• 7:45Will Arnett?

  Feet, oh, it's primarily feet, and also like, because they rub your feet.

• 7:50Will Arnett?

  So it feels nice.

• 7:50Jason Bateman?

  You like to soak, don't you?

• 7:51Will Arnett?

  But I would say in 25 years, probably 25 times, that's the average of once a year.

• 7:55Jason Bateman?

  Shawnee, what about you?

• 7:57Sean Hayes?

  I've gotten a Manny Petty, the last one I got, she scrubbed my calves so hard I broke out into hives after it was over.

• 8:04Jason Bateman?

  Huh, that's definitely Eastern European.

• 8:06Will Arnett?

  That's not a thing.

• 8:07Sean Hayes?

  No, that was on Larchmont.

• 8:08Will Arnett?

  But that's nothing to do with her doing the calves.

• 8:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was terrible.

• 8:13Jason Bateman?

  Uh, well, listen, um, thanks for the weird morning chat.

• 8:17Sean Hayes?

  Wait, wait, hold on one second, I forgot, I, I have something I need to, uh, say and announce.

• 8:22Jason Bateman?

  Oh, no.

• 8:22Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna be doing a show called-

• 8:23Jason Bateman?

  Sorry, we're out of time.

• 8:26Will Arnett?

  Great having you on the show, Shawnee, best of luck in whatever you're doing. We never got to it.

• 8:31Jason Bateman?

  Oh, all right. So this is a, this is a one act, um, where is it, Williamstown?

• 8:38Sean Hayes?

  This is a show called The Unknown. It's a one man play, which is now, I guess people are calling them solos. It's written by David Kale, directed by Lee Silverman. It's at Studio Seaview in New York City for 10 weeks only. Tickets are on sale now at theunknownplay.com.

• 8:53Jason Bateman?

  Wait, when does it start?

• 8:55Sean Hayes?

  January 31st.

• 8:56Jason Bateman?

  January 31st. May I just say publicly here, I've said to you privately. I just think it's so frickin' admirable and badass that you raised your hand and said yes.

• 9:07Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 9:07Jason Bateman?

  To doing a one man show is like, I mean, you know, seeing Krasinski do his thing, and our buddy Billy Crudup has done it.

• 9:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, by the way, that's the same writer-director of that show.

• 9:20Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I just, it's like, what a monumental thing to take on.

• 9:25Will Arnett?

  You convince me, I'll go see it. I'm just checking my schedule. I can't wait. Unknown. Who knows what will happen?

• 9:35Jason Bateman?

  I'm so proud of you, Shawnee.

• 9:36Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 9:38Jason Bateman?

  Because it's very easy to just sit back and not do anything and just enjoy, but you're challenging yourself and it's rad.

• 9:45Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 9:46Jason Bateman?

  I'm not going to come, but I do think that it will probably be good.

• 9:52Sean Hayes?

  Right. Well, thank you for that.

• 9:54Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 9:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Who are your co-stars?

• 9:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, so it's...

• 10:01Jason Bateman?

  That's my friend who listens a lot.

• 10:03Sean Hayes?

  Theunknownplay.com, that's where you get tickets.

• 10:05Jason Bateman?

  Theunknownplay.com, and it starts the end of January. Get your tickets now. I will be there with Belz on.

• 10:13Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 10:13Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 10:14Jason Bateman?

  Let's get to our guest. We're gonna ask her what her hygiene routine is.

• 10:19Sean Hayes?

  Oh, lovely.

• 10:19Jason Bateman?

  I'll bet it's significant, because you know what?

• 10:22Will Arnett?

  This is called self-care. It's not hygiene, it's self-care, by the way.

• 10:25Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's self-care.

• 10:26Jason Bateman?

  She's been impressing critics and audiences for over 30 years, you guys, achieving incredible success, yet finds herself even more relevant today than ever before. Okay, she's been awarded multiple Emmys, Golden Globes, SAGs, all that crap, and she's been named one of Time's Most Influential People in the World. And that's something none of us can say.

• 10:45Will Arnett?

  Never will.

• 10:46Jason Bateman?

  She's Yale-educated. Also, you can't say that. She's a proud mother of three, you can't say that. And she's very kind to the women of Afghanistan. Can you guys say that? Huh? Guys, let's welcome Chris and Clara's girl, the one and only Claire Danes. Come on out.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Hi guys.

• 11:05Sean Hayes?

  Oh my gosh, I'm such a big fan.

• 11:08Jason Bateman?

  Right, I mean, she's everything.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  It's really nice to meet you. The gang.

• 11:15Will Arnett?

  And you.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, you have all had more facials than I have, I think.

• 11:21Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 11:21Will Arnett?

  Is that true?

• 11:22Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:24Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Occasionally, like, I'm gifted a facial by, I don't know.

• 11:28Jason Bateman?

  Right, like a start gift from an agent.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Yes, something like that, and I'll go.

• 11:33Jason Bateman?

  A start gift.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  And I enjoy it, but I, yeah, I forget to, but I do, I do get my nails done weekly.

• 11:41Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  Because it's like my office, I get a lot of work done. I never do the fingers. I experimented with the gels for a little while, but that was quite stressful because, I don't know.

• 11:52Jason Bateman?

  And it's also a whole different look, right? I mean, I've got two daughters and I'm starting to get educated on the gels versus let's have some discipline and let it grow out naturally.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:02Jason Bateman?

  I feel like it is, it is a cultural statement to have gels on.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  It is, and you can't, you have to go back to get them off. So that is the hard part. I, that made me feel kind of panicked and claustrophobic.

• 12:15Jason Bateman?

  Or you can be on the volleyball team and then they just come off naturally.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  Right, well, but I don't play enough volleyball.

• 12:21Will Arnett?

  I like the way JB couches it in, oh, my daughters helped educate me, like, fucking bullshit. I know how you live, baby. Nice fucking try.

• 12:30Jason Bateman?

  My weekend gel sessions?

• 12:31Will Arnett?

  How many times does he go like, oh, well, my kids really, I'm like, no, you like it.

• 12:35Jason Bateman?

  I like gels.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  I used to drag my, my, my son Cyrus, our eldest son, with, with me to the salon. And I got, he, at about five, he, he had had enough. But until then, and then I had to bribe him with like an iPad. No, no, but I just really enjoyed that experience of going with him.

• 12:56Jason Bateman?

  What about all fancy dancy? Does he get the feet and, feet and toes done?

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Very, very occasionally.

• 13:03Jason Bateman?

  You gotta keep your man tight, you know?

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:07Jason Bateman?

  Or are you the kind of gal that likes their guy to have a little bit of, a little bit of dirt under the nails?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Um, it depends what kind of dirt.

• 13:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  If it's like cute upstate dirt, sure.

• 13:19Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 13:19Will Arnett?

  That's very cute dirt.

• 13:21Jason Bateman?

  Cause some women, I'm not, you know, some women, they, they, they're kind of turned off by a guy that actually keeps himself very clean and very, I'm one of those guys, I would turn a woman off.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  I respect it, I respect it.

• 13:32Jason Bateman?

  I understand thread count, I understand candles and serpents and things.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm, I'm for it, um, but, yeah.

• 13:39Jason Bateman?

  I'm not like a man's man.

• 13:41Will Arnett?

  No, no, that's a quote.

• 13:47Jason Bateman?

  You can't, you won't find me on a horse unless.

• 13:49Will Arnett?

  Hang on a second, I'm, I'm emailing the smartless, uh, merch people right now. We got a new hoodie coming out.

• 13:56Jason Bateman?

  Called, I'm not a man's man.

• 14:01Will Arnett?

  Sarah, where are we finding you? What part of the world? What, what side of the United States are you on right now?

• 14:05Speaker 03

  I live in New York City.

• 14:06Jason Bateman?

  Yes. So jealous.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  So.

• 14:09Jason Bateman?

  This looks like it could be a brownstone too.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  It's a brownstone. We've been here not for very long. We've been here about a year because we had this oopsie daisy third baby.

• 14:19Jason Bateman?

  Oh, she's gonna love hearing that. You gotta be careful.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I'm not, yeah. Uh, that was, I was so old when that happened. I was 44.

• 14:29Jason Bateman?

  How old is the baby?

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Um, she's two now.

• 14:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, cute. You got pregnant at 44?

• 14:36Speaker 03

  I sure did.

• 14:38Jason Bateman?

  Golly, good for you, good for you.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't.

• 14:43Jason Bateman?

  Very rare.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  So, no, I, uh, it was, I was terrified, but it all was okay.

• 14:49Jason Bateman?

  Can I use the term blessing? What a blessing.

• 14:51Will Arnett?

  It's a total blessing. How did you find, uh, how did you find having a, uh, a surprise, as you said, a surprise blessing, uh, at that, at that point?

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Well, you know, it was, it was actually really interesting, um, because I didn't, I, I did not foresee this at all. And it was weird. Suddenly I felt like a funny shame.

• 15:12Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Um, like, like I was.

• 15:15Jason Bateman?

  People are gonna know I made love.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, like I was, I was naughty. Um, like I had been caught, like, um, uh, fornicating past the point I was meant to. No, it was weird because I was, and I, and it was, it was like I found an edge that I didn't, I hadn't been quite conscious of.

• 15:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Um, like, there's a certain, like, I was going outside of the parameters a little bit.

• 15:38Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  And I, and I, and that was, that was wild.

• 15:42Jason Bateman?

  How, what's the, what's, what's the age spread with the, the kid right before it?

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Um, so Cyrus is 12, he'll be 13 in December, Rowan, our second boy, is seven. And then Shay, yeah, so there's about five years between each.

• 15:57Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Um, but it's a trip. I mean, I have a teenager and a toddler.

• 16:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. And the last one is a girl?

• 16:04Speaker 03

  A girl, yeah.

• 16:05Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, I got really, really lucky.

• 16:08Jason Bateman?

  My, my, yeah, my OBGYN was like, you know you're having another boy, but no, turns out. You would have been pissed off. You definitely would have been pissed off.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  I would have been delighted, um, but I am more delighted that I, yeah, that she's pretty cool. And, um, and she loves a tutu.

• 16:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 16:27Sean Hayes?

  Who doesn't?

• 16:28Jason Bateman?

  Who doesn't?

• 16:28Speaker 03

  A tutu and a tattoo.

• 16:29Jason Bateman?

  Uh, I am noticing that this, this five-year gap is very good. Uh, my eldest has just left the house for college and the fact that I've still got a, a 13-year-old, so I've got another five years of like before, before I get really, really depressed.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:44Jason Bateman?

  Um, is great, instead of just, usually that usual gap of what, two, three years or something like that.

• 16:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you get built in. I same, I've got a five-year-old and an almost 17-year-old as of next week.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  It's, it's kind of a trip.

• 16:57Will Arnett?

  It's great. It's amazing.

• 16:58Sean Hayes?

  I have a five-year-old dog.

• 17:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 17:01Will Arnett?

  Sean, with your dog, you're gonna be moving into a 3-3 pretty soon. I mean, let's be honest.

• 17:08Will Arnett?

  Sorry.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  Do you take him to get pedicures too? Do you have to bribe him with the iPad as well?

• 17:12Will Arnett?

  Uh, no, I don't. I don't go, I don't go often enough despite.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  I know, I was asking Sean about his dog.

• 17:18Will Arnett?

  Oh, his Sean's dog?

• 17:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, exactly. How often do you get Ricky's toes done?

• 17:21Sean Hayes?

  Once a week.

• 17:23Jason Bateman?

  I'll bet you do.

• 17:23Will Arnett?

  Once a week.

• 17:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, once a week.

• 17:25Jason Bateman?

  You know, and that's, that's, and that's a thing, those, that nail grinder for a dog, I like, I don't know how they sit still for that.

• 17:32Sean Hayes?

  Well, they, well, they, you tie, you tie their neck around the thing so they stay on the, on the table.

• 17:38Jason Bateman?

  Jesus, what? What are you doing?

• 17:39Will Arnett?

  I'm a monster.

• 17:41Sean Hayes?

  And then Ricky gets up. No, I'm kidding.

• 17:44Will Arnett?

  Oh, great. Here come the letters from PETA. Here we fucking go. Way to go, Sean.

• 17:48Sean Hayes?

  No, because he's a golden, so you have to brush him out every week and all this stuff. You wash him, he gets real dirty. Anyway, who cares?

• 17:55Jason Bateman?

  Well. When's the last time you washed your own dog, Sean?

• 17:58Sean Hayes?

  Uh, when he was a puppy.

• 17:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Years ago.

• 18:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, absolutely years ago.

• 18:02Jason Bateman?

  When's the last time you walked your own dog?

• 18:04Sean Hayes?

  Every, almost every day.

• 18:06Jason Bateman?

  Liar.

• 18:06Sean Hayes?

  I swear to God, I love taking them on a walk.

• 18:08Jason Bateman?

  You actually do live in an area with sidewalks and trees and front yards? I would walk dogs. I'd have a dog walking service.

• 18:14Will Arnett?

  Sorry Claire, they'll be right with you.

• 18:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what about dogs there in the city? You have a dog there in the city?

• 18:20Speaker 03

  I had a dog. Um, I had a schnoodle for about 16 years. His name was Ouija, but he passed. And then we adopted a cat when we were filming a season of Homeland in Morocco. Harold Hamza, and he was a bit of a nightmare. He pissed on everything.

• 18:39Jason Bateman?

  Those Moroccan cats.

• 18:40Will Arnett?

  Is he still with us or no?

• 18:43Speaker 03

  You know what? After a really rough five years of, of dealing with this like urine soaked sofa furniture, I had, I had to rehome him, which was very stressful.

• 18:58Jason Bateman?

  I've done that.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  And, and not obvious. Um, but found this saint in Indiana, this woman who has a cat sanctuary. And then, three months into that arrangement, which was actually ideal. We got, you know, weekly photos and reports and things. He died.

• 19:17Will Arnett?

  Oh.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Like there was some clot or, I don't know, I think he was fine. The whole thing was wild. Um, from the rough streets of Casablanca to a pretty cushy situation. Uh, in Indiana. And, yeah. And, uh, and then, so when Ouija died, we had Harold Hamza and then we adopted another cat. Mary, as in like Christmas. Our son Rowan named her that when he was like three in the middle of the summer. It was very confusing. Um, and we said, why did you, why Mary? Everybody thinks it's Mary. It's not.

• 19:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  Um, he said, I just thought it was a good name for a cat.

• 20:03Will Arnett?

  That's a great reason.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 20:08Jason Bateman?

  Wait, Claire, how do you and Jay, how do you guys know each other? Did you work together?

• 20:12Speaker 03

  We don't, really. I mean, we've had a conversation, maybe, but.

• 20:16Jason Bateman?

  Right. It is, it is sort of surprising because we've both been banging around in this thing since we were kids.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  I know, it's a little weird.

• 20:24Will Arnett?

  You guys had a conversation, where, where was the location, Jason? We'll be right with you. Jason, I'm not asking you, I'm asking Claire. Because I want to get the truth.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  I think we like had a conversation on the phone, and I don't even really know why, but we did.

• 20:38Will Arnett?

  Were you surprised at how short he was? Sorry, go ahead.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  No, you know what? I know how long ago it was because it was around, I remember, I think it was like the same day that my parents delivered my schnoodle to me. They went and picked him up in Kentucky. They live in LA. I live in New York, but that, you know, and I was filming in LA and they delivered this tiny little animal to me in my hotel room in LA. And I just, I had just talked to you for, you know, curious reasons. It was a nice conversation, but.

• 21:09Jason Bateman?

  Where, where did you grow up?

• 21:11Speaker 03

  I grew up in New York.

• 21:12Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you did?

• 21:13Speaker 03

  In Soho, yeah.

• 21:15Jason Bateman?

  Oh, in the city?

• 21:16Speaker 03

  In the city.

• 21:17Jason Bateman?

  Ergo, the name of your company, yes? Is that, is that, is that the address of the, the place you grew up in, Crosby?

• 21:24Speaker 03

  Crosby, well, actually, okay, yes. I grew up on Crosby Street. My parents were artists and they moved to Soho, you know, in the late 60s. And when it, you know, because it, there were all these factory buildings that were closing down. And you actually had to legally prove that you were an artist to live there. Because there was this concerted effort to, you know, transform.

• 21:49Jason Bateman?

  And they're trying to retroactively now charge all these finance bros that have gone in there and bought these artists' lofts for.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  Really?

• 21:57Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Anyway, like you, you now have to prove that you're an artist to maintain this sweet deal on those places.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that.

• 22:06Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, they're trying to get it through. I don't think it'll.

• 22:08Sean Hayes?

  Wow, that's fascinating.

• 22:09Will Arnett?

  Wait.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  But then they went on to do different things and. My dad was a, he had been a photographer. We still had a darkroom in our loft. My entire, entire childhood, a vestige of his, you know, from his time as a photographer. But he was a contractor and had a company called Overall Construction. And now my production company name is Overall Production.

• 22:31Will Arnett?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, and my mom ran a toddler school in our loft called Crosby Kids.

• 22:40Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  So that was weird.

• 22:42Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  So, and, and then I, like, was, then I started acting and got jobs, which was very surprising.

• 22:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah, how'd that start? What was, what was the impetus for that?

• 22:55Speaker 03

  I always knew I wanted to act, and I danced as a kid. And occasionally, dance companies would come to my class looking for young talent, and I would get hired. And I started, you know, performing every so often in these black box theaters in the Lower East Side to 12 people.

• 23:17Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  And loved it. And then started taking acting classes at Lee Strasberg, which is like down the street from me now, which is very funny.

• 23:27Sean Hayes?

  And how old were you?

• 23:27Will Arnett?

  Same, same, I did the same.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Oh, really? I was 10. But it was like on a Saturday, and most kids were there because there, you know, it was either that or like tennis class. But I was just so invested in the experience, you know, like the, such an earnest Nellie about it.

• 23:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  And then I, there was a performing arts junior high school called PPAS, Professional Performing Arts School. It was its first year of its existence, and I, and I went. And then I met kids there who were professional performing people. And, you know, discovered what a headshot was, and what an agent was, and how to, you know, get them. And actually, that darkroom came in handy because the woman who was renting it out kind of swapped rent money for headshots. So she took my headshots, and then I, I'd done some student films when I was a kid. And so I had like something to show an agent. And, you know, my first job was Law and Order, you know, like every New York.

• 24:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's cool. And how soon after that did you get what I'm a huge fan of, and I'm sorry you get asked all the time about it, My So-Called Life?

• 24:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:38Sean Hayes?

  I used to watch all the time.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Oh, that's so nice to hear.

• 24:41Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I loved it, I loved it.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was 13 when I did the pilot.

• 24:44Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  And then it did not get picked up. And I, yeah, I'd gone to public school my whole life, but then made a chunk of change and could afford to send myself to private school. So I went to this fancy school called Dalton.

• 25:00Sean Hayes?

  Sure.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  And then halfway through my freshman year, they actually did pick up the show. And I went to make the rest of it in L.A. And stayed there for four years. My parents followed me. My brother is seven years older, so he was already at college at this point. So we were kind of available to have this adventure.

• 25:19Sean Hayes?

  And so were you working in correspondence with Dalton? Or did you enroll in a different school?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, for that first year. And then eventually I went to L'Élysée Francais in L.A.

• 25:28Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah, in Culver City?

• 25:29Speaker 03

  Barely there, yes.

• 25:30Sean Hayes?

  On motor? Yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  You betcha.

• 25:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I tried to get in there. They wouldn't have me.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  But yeah, like maybe went five days a year. And but I was mostly like tutored from that point on sets.

• 25:44Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 25:48Sean Hayes?

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• 26:32Sean Hayes?

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• 26:49Sean Hayes?

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• 27:33Sean Hayes?

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• 27:57Sean Hayes?

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• 28:33Sean Hayes?

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• 28:57Jason Bateman?

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• 29:27Will Arnett?

  I remember my So Cool Life, it had, it kind of had that, it was critically acclaimed, and so it was kind of like sputtered a little bit. It had, it lived in this weird place where everybody loved it, but the network didn't know what to do.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:40Will Arnett?

  Am I right about that?

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Nobody really watched it while it was on, and we didn't even complete a full season. We didn't make it to the 22, you know, mark. We got canceled at 19 episodes. But then it had a pretty, you know, the people who did watch were devoted and passionate, and they made a ruckus. And then, and then it got bought by other, it aired, like it was on.

• 30:11Will Arnett?

  Was it on MTV?

• 30:12Speaker 03

  MTV bought it.

• 30:13Will Arnett?

  It was on MTV.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  And so, and so it was, and then it found its audience kind of after the fact.

• 30:19Will Arnett?

  Tom Preston picked it up.

• 30:21Jason Bateman?

  Now, am I right that your mom was your manager during this period?

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, kind of, like by default. I mean, she was, you know, I was a kid, and she was with me all the time, and yeah.

• 30:34Jason Bateman?

  When did that, I ask only because my parents were my manager as well, and it was, it was complicated. Was it, was it, did you, did you, did you disengage from that before it became?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. It was, you know, it, it made sense for a period of time, and then it made more sense to just be mom and daughter.

• 30:56Jason Bateman?

  Right. Yeah, it wasn't uncommon. Most kids, their parents, yeah, yeah, but then, once they start, you know, you're paying them a percentage, and then that's kind of weird, and yeah.

• 31:06Will Arnett?

  It changes your relationship with your parents.

• 31:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 31:09Will Arnett?

  I mean, by definition.

• 31:10Jason Bateman?

  You're the employer.

• 31:11Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 31:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Yeah, that's super complicated.

• 31:14Will Arnett?

  Hey, grab me a coffee real quick.

• 31:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  But I was very, I mean, we were all just so stunned by this. You know, nobody anticipated this at all. We were just like totally naive. And, you know, then they, weirdly, we moved to LA the day after those Northridge, that Northridge earthquake.

• 31:35Sean Hayes?

  Nineteen ninety-six.

• 31:35Will Arnett?

  Ninety-four.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  Four.

• 31:36Sean Hayes?

  Ninety-four, ninety-four.

• 31:37Will Arnett?

  Sorry.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  And it was a wild way to parachute into our new reality there. Cause everybody was just ashen and traumatized.

• 31:46Jason Bateman?

  That must have been horrified, like, two days before you're set to leave, your bags are packed. You see on the news, oh, the place we're going just got shaken.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And then it was a week of aftershocks. So we landed, it was like, you know.

• 31:57Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  And it was like, it was a very apt metaphor for what we were feeling already, you know.

• 32:04Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Um, but, but yeah, so, and, but then my parents really loved it. My mom went to grad school in her 50s. They came back to their, their art. So she went to a school called Otis and my dad built like his and her studios in their backyard and then, you know, full circle.

• 32:21Sean Hayes?

  You just jarred my memory, cause my father was, my dad was also a photographer.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 32:26Sean Hayes?

  And he used to take

• 32:27Jason Bateman?

  Cue the tire screech.

• 32:28Sean Hayes?

  Oh. To take photos of all of us as kids all the time and blow the pictures up and put them

• 32:36Sean Hayes?

  put them up on the wall. And put them up on the wall.

• 32:39Will Arnett?

  What, you got a zoom lens? What's going on?

• 32:43Jason Bateman?

  And would he put those photos just above the sunshade in the car? So he could just look at them when he's going down the highway?

• 32:48Speaker 03

  You guys. Oh.

• 32:53Will Arnett?

  Wait, did he process his own photos, Sean?

• 32:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, so he had a darkroom in the basement.

• 32:57Jason Bateman?

  Sure he did.

• 32:58Sean Hayes?

  And he would develop, he would develop them there and then, you know, he would put them on the wall of the house. And it was really cool, but weird for them. So did your dad do your photos and your, your headshots and all that?

• 33:11Speaker 03

  No, no, he didn't. Um, but, no, I mean, he didn't really take many photos of people. He likes a landscape.

• 33:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, I see, I see, I see.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm sure, he does take photos of us, of course, all the time, but that's not, yeah.

• 33:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  People don't tend to populate his images.

• 33:26Jason Bateman?

  With, with, with, am I right, was your mom, your mom was a sculptor? Is it?

• 33:30Speaker 03

  My mom doesn't, yeah, she was a textile designer initially and then, and now she does, she has a lot of etchings, she does do a lot of sculpture and she paints.

• 33:40Jason Bateman?

  But both, but both being artists, were you just sort of, kind of, obviously it's in your blood, but did you kind of think from a very, very early age that arts is going to be your path? Because I think your brother's a lawyer, is that right?

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, so like where, how was it, was it kind of predetermined or no or no?

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Well, it was a pretty creative environment, that's for sure.

• 34:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  I mean, they had a lot of art materials everywhere. It was fun. We had, also, we had, even before the baby school, we had a trapeze and a trampoline and a swing.

• 34:13Jason Bateman?

  Wow, these dirty hippies.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it was like that.

• 34:16Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  And, and we, all of our furniture was like found off of the street and my dad collected these old signs, so it was funky. And, and they had fun tools, they had a light box and, you know, you know, I was at a very, at a very unfair advantage with my like school projects because.

• 34:39Jason Bateman?

  Right, yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:40Jason Bateman?

  And your brother just said, screw it to all of that, I'm going into law.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, he's creative, he was very athletic, he was, I don't know, yeah, it was, but then I did that show, I did that show Finding Your Roots.

• 34:55Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:56Jason Bateman?

  Uh oh, what'd you find out?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Well, many things, but, but my, my mom, my dad's mom, Claire, who I'm named after, she died when he was nine, so there was very, very little information about her. I knew nothing about her and people of course ask, you know, are there any people in the performing arts in your family? No, a lot of visual artists, a lot of academics, but not, you know, but it turns out, she, she went to Northwestern, it must have been in like the 40s, so I.

• 35:26Jason Bateman?

  Northwestern in Chicago?

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:28Will Arnett?

  Cool it.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  And got her.

• 35:30Jason Bateman?

  Easy, Sean.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  And like, studied theater and wrote her masters in the role of dance and Shakespearean drama and, and, and had directed plays and acted in them and I had no clue.

• 35:44Jason Bateman?

  How about that?

• 35:44Will Arnett?

  So it was in your, it was in your DNA a little bit.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was very moved by that.

• 35:48Will Arnett?

  Did she like her time in Illinois?

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know anything beyond that. But, but, uh, yeah. Anyway, I also had, uh, my, my ninth, uh, great, great grandmother was hanged in Salem for being a witch.

• 36:08Sean Hayes?

  What are you talking about?

• 36:09Speaker 03

  It's a big reveal.

• 36:10Sean Hayes?

  Is that, is that true?

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:12Sean Hayes?

  What, your great grandmother?

• 36:13Jason Bateman?

  You found this on the show?

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:15Jason Bateman?

  Well, how did they, how did they find that out? What are you, what are you?

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Through like legal documents.

• 36:20Sean Hayes?

  Through other witches.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Through other witches, yeah.

• 36:23Will Arnett?

  You were a crystal ball, you idiot.

• 36:28Jason Bateman?

  Wait, hung for being a witch?

• 36:30Will Arnett?

  Wow, hanged, hanged.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Hanged, I know, I learned that word. I didn't know it before then.

• 36:35Sean Hayes?

  So, so wait, so did she practice witchcraft and all that? I mean, is that?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  No, no, actually, she was, she was the oldest woman to be hanged. She was 72. She was a widow, and I think she was just like low hanging fruit. Like, she was just an easy scapegoat.

• 36:51Will Arnett?

  Yeah, how about that one crossing the road?

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, basically, I think maybe, I mean, who knows? But, yeah, like, we, there are reports, because this, she was, went to court and everything. But people accused her of, um, of what was it? Of, uh, like cursing their cows and then, and put it like, and, and then the cows would rear on their hind legs and she would penetrate people's dreams and like, yeah, she didn't do any of that, I can tell you.

• 37:18Jason Bateman?

  What is it, what's, what year is this? I wonder.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  A long time ago. I don't, I don't know.

• 37:24Jason Bateman?

  Like, would it be the 1500s, 1600s, 1700s?

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Maybe 1700s.

• 37:28Will Arnett?

  No, it's late.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  18, 18.

• 37:29Sean Hayes?

  18, probably early 1800s.

• 37:31Jason Bateman?

  In Salem?

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:33Jason Bateman?

  North Carolina? No.

• 37:37Sean Hayes?

  Salem, Massachusetts.

• 37:39Jason Bateman?

  There's a few different Saloms.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:41Sean Hayes?

  All right.

• 37:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm sure.

• 37:44Will Arnett?

  Between 1692 and May 1693.

• 37:47Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you got a Google machine?

• 37:48Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Is that right?

• 37:49Will Arnett?

  I had access to Google. That's what it says.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Wow, okay, well, I was way off.

• 37:53Will Arnett?

  More than 200 people were accused, it claims.

• 37:55Jason Bateman?

  That's it?

• 37:56Sean Hayes?

  Ah.

• 37:57Jason Bateman?

  The Salem witch trials?

• 37:58Will Arnett?

  30 people were found guilty, 30, 30 were, uh, found guilty, 19 of whom were executed by hanging.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:03Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 38:04Will Arnett?

  And your, your ancestor was one of them?

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:07Will Arnett?

  For cursing, for cursing cows?

• 38:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:09Will Arnett?

  And, uh, dream penetration.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  She had it coming.

• 38:15Will Arnett?

  Hey guys, let's go around the corner, everybody, your dream penetration, go ahead.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  That sounds so gross.

• 38:23Sean Hayes?

  Accent on the second word, yeah.

• 38:26Jason Bateman?

  So, marching through the canon of your career here, let's hit, let's go to 96, let's go to Romeo and Juliet.

• 38:37Will Arnett?

  Oh my gosh.

• 38:38Jason Bateman?

  The, the, working with Baz Luhrmann was, like, what was that set like? Was it, it was, I remember when that film came out, I was like, oh my god, like, the production design and like, this big swing on this classic and, really, like, was it, was it nerve wracking or exciting to be on something that was taking such a big swing and it was such a big project?

• 38:59Speaker 03

  All, yeah, all of the above. It was a total dream. I loved it. It was, it was intense. We filmed in Mexico City, and I haven't been since. I loved it, but it's like, it's a unruly, you know, vibrating, brilliant place.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  And, yeah, it was, the whole thing felt very charged and alive and scary and fun. And Baz was wonderful. And he was very clear about making this accessible and exciting for everybody, the way Shakespeare, you know, also intended his work to be, every once upon a time.

• 39:41Jason Bateman?

  Had you done some Shakespeare prior to that and have you done after?

• 39:45Speaker 03

  Um, no, I haven't. And I hadn't, there was like a month where I read everything in iambic pentameter, you know, like, the cereal boxes.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  But, but, yeah, it was, no, it was, it was amazing.

• 40:02Jason Bateman?

  So you, you did, so then, I hear you, you're saying you did some research there for at least a month.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  I think I read a book on iambic pentameter.

• 40:13Jason Bateman?

  There's my question, how diligent are you, what kind of actor are you? Are you, are you the one that, like, does a massive amount of research?

• 40:22Speaker 03

  I'm a little nerdy about it. I'm a little, but not every, not every role asks that of you.

• 40:28Sean Hayes?

  Correct.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't do it for the sake of it. I do it if I, you know, actually need to learn something.

• 40:33Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Like, right now, I'm about to play a pediatric neurosurgeon, and so I'm like, reading some books.

• 40:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you should know.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Neurosurgery. I sat in on a brain surgery.

• 40:42Sean Hayes?

  No way.

• 40:43Jason Bateman?

  I want to know all about that. I wouldn't be able to do that.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  It was wild.

• 40:47Will Arnett?

  Did you pass out?

• 40:49Speaker 03

  No, but, but the...

• 40:50Will Arnett?

  I, I asked that because I heard about somebody recently who, who sat in on one of those.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  I think it happens a lot.

• 40:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  I think it happens a lot.

• 40:56Sean Hayes?

  Really?

• 40:56Speaker 03

  And, and the surgeon's assistant did say, like, you may think you're a badass, but if you have the thought, oh, I might faint, you're fainting, and we can't have that happen, so please let me know.

• 41:07Sean Hayes?

  Wow, the second you feel it.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I don't know, there was like a half an hour where I was very, I was doing some conscious breathing.

• 41:16Sean Hayes?

  Wait a minute, so, so you're standing there while the brain is open and they're working on the brain?

• 41:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what was the moment that started to get you a little, a little bit, I might be starting to pass out here? Was it lifting of the scalp?

• 41:27Speaker 03

  When the residents were prepping the, the head for the actual surgeon to come and do his work. But yeah, so they cut the scalp and they peel it back and they bore four holes into the skull. Yeah, and then there's like, I think it's called the derma or something, there's a, there's a thin layer of, of skin that they have to suture, they suture the corners and then they hoick it up like a tent. And then you have the brain ready.

• 41:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but wait, but wait, you, what about the part where they take like a bone saw and they cut the piece of the scalp?

• 42:02Speaker 03

  That's right. So they do the four holes and then they cut with a saw and then they lift it up.

• 42:07Sean Hayes?

  And the brain's exposed?

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 42:09Sean Hayes?

  Oh my God.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  Yes. It was, I, I, I actually, I really understood in a different way that we are vehicles.

• 42:18Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  We are cars.

• 42:21Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  And we are not our bodies. Like, we experience ourselves and the world through our bodies.

• 42:27Jason Bateman?

  It's just something that carries your brain around.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  That was like, that was a profound thing.

• 42:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  That, you know, to really know that. On a different level, yeah.

• 42:34Sean Hayes?

  So did the person that you watched, was it a success and all that?

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, she had a brain tumor and then she didn't. But it was a lot of tumor. It took a long time to suction that out. But, but isn't it wild? Like the kind of access we have. I, it was very embarrassing because they have something called a timeout where everybody in the room has to announce themselves and, and say why they're there. And I was like, ugh.

• 42:59Will Arnett?

  Really, just to make sure everybody's cognizant and not...

• 43:01Sean Hayes?

  I'm Claire, I'll be playing.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll be playing you in a month and I'll...

• 43:06Jason Bateman?

  Wait a second, there's, in the operating room, there's a, let's go around and, and introduce ourselves?

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, mhm, just so everybody's accountable.

• 43:14Jason Bateman?

  They don't already know each other, this team?

• 43:16Speaker 03

  They do. I think it's just a, it's a ritualistic thing, just to kind of get everybody focused.

• 43:22Sean Hayes?

  And then they announce what the procedure's gonna be and so everybody knows they're in the right room.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's fast. It's rapid fire. It's not a big deal. It's just to, you know, so everybody...

• 43:29Sean Hayes?

  Right, you've heard all those stories about like they took off, out the wrong kidney or they took out something wrong. It's because, that's why they announce everything. So this is why we're here, this is what we're doing, this is who I am, this is what we're, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:40Jason Bateman?

  I mean, the people that do this, that surgeon.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  I know. And I have to say, like, our sets are so much more protected.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  You know, look, I, I was vetted, I, you know, I had a badge and everything, but I wasn't anybody, but it felt relatively porous. Like, you know, on a set, the feeling is so, can be so serious. Like, we are actually saving. It was much more serious than it was in the O.

• 44:04Will Arnett?

  Claire, I went to an event recently and it was a very sort of Hollywood event and they had dogs and looking into the cars and stuff. And I'm like, motherfucker, nobody's coming for our stars.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 44:14Sean Hayes?

  Right, it's so true. Everybody's over it, yeah.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  I was very humbled by it, but, um, but yeah. So, so in those kind of cases, I will do, yeah, like for Homeland, I, I had to figure out how to be a spy and got to go to Langley and meet those guys and, and also had to figure out what it was to be bipolar. That was fascinating. When I played Temple, I had to learn about autism, that, you know, so yes, in some cases you have to do some homework, but...

• 44:41Jason Bateman?

  What about a nice little sitcom for you? You know?

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:43Jason Bateman?

  Nice little multicam and, you know, it's just...

• 44:46Will Arnett?

  This is JB's dream, by the way. Sorry, Claire, he's just walking through his dream. JB, what time do you roll into your parking spot on the sitcom? Like 10 a.m., right?

• 44:56Jason Bateman?

  Don't you, I mean, you have played, taken on voluntarily, a lot of very heavy parts, and you do them incredibly well. Does it ever get exhausting to be believably in a space of weightiness, 12 hours a day for years on end?

• 45:15Speaker 03

  It's hard when you're first figuring it out, you know? And, and, once you are sort of oriented within the character and you've kind of made sense of her, it gets a little easier. It was very cool on Homeland to play somebody for so very long.

• 45:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  You know, like, you, you had kind of played your backstory, you lived your backstory, so.

• 45:39Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  And, and you know the actors that you're working with so very well, you know? Like, it was just, that was amazing to have that fluency and that, and that juice, you know? Yeah, getting, finding the momentum is always the toughest part. And, but I have to say, like, if the writing is good.

• 46:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  It holds you, it carries you. Like, doing a kind of technically easy scene, but with bad writing, is so much harder than doing an exacting scene that is really well constructed.

• 46:17Jason Bateman?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  And, and, and with a team that can actually support you.

• 46:21Jason Bateman?

  You guys were together for how long on that show? Eight years?

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Uh, it felt like, I think it was like, we did eight seasons, but it was about a decade in total.

• 46:29Will Arnett?

  And you and the, you and the great Damian Lewis, too, right? I love that guy.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:34Will Arnett?

  I don't know, I'm just a fan.

• 46:35Jason Bateman?

  And what about the, the travel on that? Did that, was that?

• 46:38Speaker 03

  That was a lot.

• 46:39Jason Bateman?

  Was it nice to, to visit those corners of the world?

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:42Jason Bateman?

  The way that, that I'm imagining you, you were traveled and, and, and looked after?

• 46:47Speaker 03

  It was, it was nice, but I was also, you know, I, I'd like just gotten married when we started the show. I had Cyrus in my second season, and then I had Rowan, I guess, you know, a few seasons late. I guess. I had Rowan in our penultimate season. So like making a family while globe trotting in that way was challenging.

• 47:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  And Cyrus, you know, grew up and all over the place. Like he was a toddler in Cape Town. He went to kindergarten in Berlin. He went to school in Casablanca and can't eat couscous to this day because he had it every day. You know, a bunch. You know, like when he was a little guy in a playground here in the city, you know, come up to people, his little other kids and say, you know, my name is Cyrus. I speak English, you know, it was just not a given that they did.

• 47:45Jason Bateman?

  What is, I had a mom who was a flight attendant for Pan Am. And so that we did a bunch of traveling and as a consequence, I'm, I can't, I don't like to travel because I did it at an age where it was just inconvenient because I was so small and I missed my friends. What is his relationship with travel nowadays?

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Well, now, well, then Homeland ended and it was very like careful what you wish for because of course I was desperate to just be anchored at home and then I never got to leave the, like immediately wrapped and then we were, you know, in the COVID era.

• 48:18Jason Bateman?

  Oh, right.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  That was a trip. And now, and now we're working really hard to figure out how to remain employed and local.

• 48:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  It used to be like script director, actor, and now it's location, location, location.

• 48:36Jason Bateman?

  That's how you decide what you do?

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Kind of. I mean, I'm sort of making a joke, but, but basically for the next 10 years, we just have to, you know, find jobs in the neighborhood.

• 48:49Jason Bateman?

  What about going back to some of your theater stuff, doing that? I mean, I know it doesn't pay the bills as well, but I imagine you guys are all right.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, I would, I would definitely be open to that. But yeah, lately it's been limited series in Westchester.

• 49:08Jason Bateman?

  A little two-hander with the Tony award-winning Sean Hayes.

• 49:10Will Arnett?

  I love this. I love this casting. Jason, keep going.

• 49:13Jason Bateman?

  What is it? It's a two-hander, you and Sean Hayes.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Okay. I do it.

• 49:17Jason Bateman?

  This is a new take on The Odd Couple.

• 49:19Will Arnett?

  I love it so much.

• 49:20Jason Bateman?

  We're going to switch roles every, every four weeks. We'll be right back.

• 49:29Sean Hayes?

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• 50:12Sean Hayes?

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• 50:33Sean Hayes?

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• 51:09Sean Hayes?

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• 51:52Sean Hayes?

  to give the gift of scent this holiday season.

• 51:58Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 52:02Sean Hayes?

  But you know what, Jason's right, you would be, you would be good at com- I saw you in Portlandia, because I was a huge fan of that show. You were so, you played like-

• 52:09Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right, I forgot I did that.

• 52:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. You played like an acting coach or acting teacher or something.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  I did, I played a terrible acting coach.

• 52:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  A wildly pretentious acting coach, that was enjoyable.

• 52:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was really funny.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Oh, that's so sweet, thank you.

• 52:22Jason Bateman?

  What about that Fred Armisen? Fred Armisen?

• 52:24Speaker 03

  He's, he's great.

• 52:25Jason Bateman?

  This guy, this guy, this guy, this guy's royalty. And I hear he's just, he's just put out an album, I hear, of sound effects?

• 52:32Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 52:32Jason Bateman?

  That's it. Sounds about right. Really?

• 52:34Will Arnett?

  Sounds about right.

• 52:35Speaker 03

  Yes, check and check, yeah.

• 52:37Jason Bateman?

  That's funny, I didn't know that.

• 52:39Will Arnett?

  I love, I love Freddie.

• 52:40Jason Bateman?

  All right, so we're leaving Baz Luhrmann and we're moving on to Francis Ford Coppola with The Rainmaker. Let's talk about, did we-

• 52:46Will Arnett?

  Well, can I just say something about Romeo and Juliet before we get off of it? So you got, you do that, and it has such a huge impact, and by the way, lasting impact, that film. It must have been a bit of a life changer. I mean, you'd already sort of made a lot of waves with My So-Called Life in that area, and then you do this, and Romeo and Juliet just must have changed everything. You're much more visible, you must have felt that, like your life-

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did feel it, and I have to say, I didn't quite know what to do with all of that. I was a little thrown by it.

• 53:20Will Arnett?

  Were you?

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:22Jason Bateman?

  What was the big jarring thing? Was it the, was it the press, was it people stopping you on the street?

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was kind of the attention, it was a different kind of attention.

• 53:30Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  And I just, you know, didn't know how to focus, like what, how to, how to work with it, or where to direct it, or, I was a tiny human still.

• 53:44Will Arnett?

  Right, and then it's like, oh, look who's getting coffee at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf type stuff, right?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just thought, oh god, like, I don't know, I, I, I, it, it made me anxious.

• 53:56Jason Bateman?

  You're sharing yourself with, with a whole world.

• 53:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I thought I was supposed to know how to be like a movie star and really didn't. And, and now I realize, oh, don't worry about it, it's not really a thing, but-

• 54:11Jason Bateman?

  What did, what did you do about that? I, I, I think I read that you're, you're a friend of therapy like all of us.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 54:17Jason Bateman?

  Was that helpful?

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 54:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Yes. I've been in therapy since I was six. I'm a New Yorker.

• 54:23Will Arnett?

  Right, right.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  And it's a great resource. If you have a great therapist, it can be very-

• 54:29Jason Bateman?

  You've been with the same therapist the whole time?

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Dangerous if it's not. Since I was about 18, yeah.

• 54:34Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 54:34Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow, that's great. I'm going right after this, actually.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  I go in and out. Like, I, I take-

• 54:39Will Arnett?

  Wish you'd gone before.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Very substantial breaks, but I'm back in now, and I'm glad of it.

• 54:44Jason Bateman?

  Have you ever lied to this therapist?

• 54:49Speaker 03

  Maybe by omission.

• 54:50Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  I don't think I've ever explicitly lied.

• 54:53Jason Bateman?

  Oh, I just forgot to mention that.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  But, yeah, there's sometimes a-

• 54:56Will Arnett?

  Claire, I asked Sean once, Sean, remember, I asked you if I ever came up in your therapy?

• 55:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, everybody does. Everybody in your whole life does.

• 55:03Jason Bateman?

  How do I do, Sean?

• 55:05Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, well, it's private. It's private. It's confidential.

• 55:07Will Arnett?

  It's private, dude. Yeah, what are you doing?

• 55:09Jason Bateman?

  I'll call your therapist. I'll just-

• 55:12Will Arnett?

  You're in touch with his therapist?

• 55:13Jason Bateman?

  I owe him a call.

• 55:14Sean Hayes?

  Hi, Nikki Jason. Um-

• 55:17Jason Bateman?

  Did I guess right? Is it a man or a woman?

• 55:19Sean Hayes?

  Me? It's a woman.

• 55:20Jason Bateman?

  All right.

• 55:21Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:22Jason Bateman?

  Nikki, huh? Nikki Glaser.

• 55:24Sean Hayes?

  Nikki Glaser, yeah.

• 55:25Jason Bateman?

  Unbelievable.

• 55:27Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, we got it all sorted out.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  I think she'd be an amazing therapist.

• 55:29Sean Hayes?

  She would be.

• 55:30Jason Bateman?

  I bet she would.

• 55:30Will Arnett?

  She would be.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:32Jason Bateman?

  All right, let's do Francis Ford Coppola, then I want to get to Steven Daldry.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:36Jason Bateman?

  You know, I do like these directors. I mean, you've been in some great, great movies. You've worked with so many great actors and directors. I mean, golly, what, what do you think is the, what is the most impactful thing you've absorbed, learned from any of these actors? You don't even need to say which one it is. What do you think has been-

• 55:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, what changed your life and how it applies either to you in life or professionally?

• 56:00Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, here's the story. So, my first audition ever, I was 12. It was, again, in some theater, not, like, Lower East Side kind of situation. And- I don't know what's happening. And there is a guy in, like, having his audition. I can only hear him. But he's like, it sounds like an exorcism is happening. It's like he's thrashing about, you know? And he comes in and he's like dripping with sweat and he's just like vibrating, this manic energy. And it was Philip Seymour Hoffman.

• 56:38Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  But, but I was like, holy shit. What's supposed to happen in there?

• 56:44Will Arnett?

  What am I supposed to be?

• 56:46Speaker 03

  What am I following? Like, what am I walking into? What do they expect of me?

• 56:53Jason Bateman?

  I loved reading for the kid that same day.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. But, um, yeah, so I don't know. I mean, I, I didn't know how, I mean, I sort of knew how extraordinary these people were when I first started, but, um, not, not like I do now. I don't know how, you know, wildly rare and absurd it is to get to collaborate with people of that genius.

• 57:24Jason Bateman?

  Have you, have you noticed that, you know, like, from, let's say, Meryl Streep to Leonardo DiCaprio, like, is there, there are so many different ways to go about doing what it is that we do. Some, as we were talking about earlier, some are very, very specific and surgical about it and very prep oriented. And others just sort of just kind of wing it and keep it all natural and, and, and the performances are equally great. Is that, has that been a bit of a, of an eye opener for you?

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Okay, so the thing I remember about Francis is that he, you know, he kind of asked a lot of you, but it was all in a playful spirit. So he, he gave everybody the homework assignment of writing, you know, six pages of backstory for their, you know, okay. And, and, um, I remember there was a scene where I was meant to be very distressed and crying and the big, and I sat on the chair and it was actually like a block of ice. That was, you know, and that he thought might help elicit some, you know, some feeling. He had a Teamster scream at me. And I kind of was like, okay, I didn't need it.

• 58:37Jason Bateman?

  How old were you?

• 58:39Speaker 03

  I was seventeen, I guess. And, um, but actually, I was very touched that he just cared that much. Like, that he was invested, that he felt present with me, that he was committed to creating something

• 58:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  special with me. Like, that was the thing that actually got to the feeling was that, I don't know, that I... And, and I remember on that set, like, it was something kind of magical that happened and ineffable. Like, it was, suddenly you landed on that set and you were held by it. Like, you knew, you were oriented, you felt grounded in whatever reality you were meant to be in. In the place. And that was his doing, but I don't know how he did it exactly. And the same is true of Baz, a totally different approach.

• 59:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  He did not have Teamsters yell at me. And actually, it was almost surgical, the way in which he directed. I mean, he knew exactly, it was very prescriptive.

• 59:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  But...

• 59:40Will Arnett?

  Was it result oriented?

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Um, no. Like, he just was very, it's so, so detail oriented, you know? And he builds the world, and it's really ornate, and it's really hyper-considered and stylized. But he wants a free-feeling performance from his actors. And that's why it's often exciting, the work, because it's that contrast.

• 1:00:06Will Arnett?

  Right. So it creates a sort of a, yeah.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  But, yeah, I mean, and I have to say, there are, what, there are a lot of directors too, not these guys. These guys are brilliant. But I think, I'm always surprised by the number of directors that are actually really terrified of conflict and visceral feeling. They would rather you not, you know? And they don't even know that they're guiding you away, like, they want you to make choices that's gonna take you further from... Actual expressive feeling, you know?

• 1:00:42Jason Bateman?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  And, you know, and you're like, but why are you doing this? I'm like, well, because you want to be out of a mood from it. Like, you wanna, you know, so there are those directors, too.

• 1:00:51Sean Hayes?

  It's too real.

• 1:00:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Sean, you used to pay a guy to yell at you, right?

• 1:00:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Will Arnett?

  You put an ad in Craigslist or something?

• 1:00:58Sean Hayes?

  I still do, yeah. I still do.

• 1:01:00Jason Bateman?

  You sit yourself on a block of ice, too.

• 1:01:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  But I think even, you know, the privilege of working with people like Merrill and Leah, like, is, yeah, they're insanely gifted and they're, you know, and capable. But they're also, you know, figuring it out.

• 1:01:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  You know, like, nobody gets to just like, you never get to a point where you're actually confident. I mean, you're never phoning it in, like, ever.

• 1:01:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, no, you're producing a lot of the stuff that you do as well now. And what about, did you, did you ever get behind the camera on Homeland?

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:01:42Sean Hayes?

  Any desire?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  No, not really. I mean, I kind of, if I had the time, I would like to shadow a director just so that I could learn more about the parts of the process that we don't have access to, because I'm curious. But not with the intent of really doing it myself. I am enjoying producing.

• 1:02:00Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  I like, you know, being part of the conversation, like, those consequential conversations about what it's gonna be in its entirety.

• 1:02:09Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  But, yeah, I don't, directing seems really hard.

• 1:02:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Will Arnett?

  You're right to put it.

• 1:02:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, it does. So Claire, you know, aside from, I love what you said now, it used to be script director, blah, blah, now it's location, location, location. I love that, that's so, that's so interesting and true, and I get it. But how does that, so that factors in with, your days consist of moming and parenting and being home with the kids, yeah? And making sure everything's taken care of with your husband?

• 1:02:39Jason Bateman?

  When you're not working, right? It's either one or the other.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, you try to just bank the hours.

• 1:02:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, so did you get any time during the day when you're not working to do something for you?

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Yes, for sure.

• 1:02:49Sean Hayes?

  Besides Manny Petty?

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Um, I like the yoga a lot. I like a little, a little hot yoga.

• 1:02:56Sean Hayes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, I have, like, lunch with my friends.

• 1:03:01Sean Hayes?

  Good, good, good, good.

• 1:03:02Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Book club.

• 1:03:04Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Jason Bateman?

  Wait, so you go to yoga and then you read a book? I mean, god damn, I wish I was like that.

• 1:03:11Will Arnett?

  It sounds like, doesn't Giomare, didn't Paul say that that's how his day is?

• 1:03:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I think so, yeah.

• 1:03:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Do you live with Paul Giomare?

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:20Jason Bateman?

  Hot yoga, it just, it just sounds so masochistic. Well, it's, first of all, yoga itself, you're sweating because you're stretching is just sort of like being trapped in a hot car. You know, torturous. But then to actually, well, we're gonna, we're gonna go ahead and we're gonna preheat the car.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Jason Bateman?

  It just seems like, what the fuck?

• 1:03:40Will Arnett?

  Jay, Jason, it's your nightmare. It's sweaty and nearly.

• 1:03:43Jason Bateman?

  And the smell of the unwashed and then getting sweatier. Ah! And then, guess what? And then you gotta walk across the floor when you're done.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:03:55Jason Bateman?

  To get to your shoes outside. And you're splashing through the fucking puddles of beast.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  So you sound like you really know it.

• 1:04:03Jason Bateman?

  Oh dude.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  You've done this.

• 1:04:04Jason Bateman?

  I knew it and I was like, I'm good. That'll, that'll do it.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  It was just one class for you?

• 1:04:10Jason Bateman?

  It was maybe one and a half, something like that. Yeah, I just, if I'm gonna sweat, I wanna be active. I don't wanna be holding a pose and feeling my pores open while I'm still.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  I love it, I love it.

• 1:04:23Sean Hayes?

  Wow, that really hit hard.

• 1:04:25Jason Bateman?

  I wanna get to, this trailer for The Beast in Me rocked my world. I watched it three times in a row. I cannot wait to see the show, which is out now. November 13th, it launched. I'm assuming it's doing very, very well. But this, this, this looks like, you got that pain in the ass Matthew Reese, but besides that, it seems like.

• 1:04:53Will Arnett?

  Such a pain.

• 1:04:54Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god.

• 1:04:56Will Arnett?

  The shame of whales.

• 1:04:57Jason Bateman?

  Right, and just, and talent free. I don't get it.

• 1:05:01Will Arnett?

  I know. Never got it with Reese.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  He's a little wooden, but, you know.

• 1:05:05Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna text him.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  He has a charisma.

• 1:05:10Jason Bateman?

  Uh, no, it looks so, so good. I can't wait to see you two go at it. Is it as good as it seems? It's gotta be.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think it's good. I think it's fun. It's a, yeah, I had a blast making it.

• 1:05:24Jason Bateman?

  Where was that shot? That looks like it's in a tasting area.

• 1:05:27Sean Hayes?

  Who do you play in it? Like, cause it's about like a guy who's a murderer or something, or, right?

• 1:05:32Jason Bateman?

  She's a writer.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  I'm a writer. Um, yes, a, a pretty successful writer and, um,

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  I, you know, won the Pulitzer, was kind of cresting in my, you know, success and my wife and I and our small boy moved to a pretty affluent suburb on Long Island and, uh, and then tragedy strikes. I'm, uh, I'm driving the car with, with our six-year-old son in the back and we get hit by a drunk driver and my world is ended. The marriage dissolves, falls apart, um, and I am kind of creatively paralyzed.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  I can't produce any work and am rattling around in this, you know, gorgeous but neglected home, needs a lot of work and suddenly I can't afford to pay for it. And, um, uh, suddenly this man moves in next door who is a pretty controversial figure, like a real estate scion and, you know, very famous, very moneyed and, uh, you know.

• 1:06:49Sean Hayes?

  And this is Matthew?

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  And a little problematic, maybe. And he has a wife who had committed suicide and there's a lot of talk about his involvement with that. And he wants to create a jogging path in our little suburb and I'm, you know, the Ken Tankerous writer, I'm the only one who objects and it's dumb, but he can't let it go. And, um, and he insists on taking me out to lunch to persuade me to, you know, agree to this thing.

• 1:07:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  And we get to, and then suddenly we were sort of repelled by each other, or I certainly am of him, but, um, weirdly like.

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  Kind of excited by each other also.

• 1:07:34Jason Bateman?

  A little dangerous.

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  And I tell this story about my son and the guy who's responsible was just under the limit when he finally had, you know, the breathalyzer done and, you know, and was never held accountable and still lives in town and he can see, I've kind of avoided feeling the difficult feelings and just fixated all of my grief on this man. And that man has committed suicide.

• 1:07:57Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:07:58Speaker 03

  And I don't know what to think of that. And I, and I decide to write a book about him and really as a way to figure out if he did in fact kill this guy on my behalf.

• 1:08:08Jason Bateman?

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  But also because he just wakes me up creatively.

• 1:08:12Will Arnett?

  It's dark, this is dark and troubling. I think the most troubling thing about it is it's produced by Conan O'Brien. That to me.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:19Will Arnett?

  That he got his grubby little fingers in there.

• 1:08:22Jason Bateman?

  You want to talk about a pain in the ass. You want to talk about a talent free.

• 1:08:26Sean Hayes?

  Talk about a Josh.

• 1:08:26Will Arnett?

  Big red comes in.

• 1:08:28Jason Bateman?

  This, son of a bitch.

• 1:08:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  But it's kind of like a cat and mouse story and it's a little Hitchcockian and, and it's fun.

• 1:08:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it looks great.

• 1:08:35Jason Bateman?

  What a great scene partner you got there with all those scenes with Matthew.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like the snake and the mongoose.

• 1:08:40Jason Bateman?

  Had you guys, did you guys know each other beforehand? You and Matthew?

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  No, no. But just a dreamboat.

• 1:08:48Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  Like the loveliest human.

• 1:08:50Jason Bateman?

  Charming, kind and talented.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  So smart and so very good at what he does with the, with the acting business.

• 1:08:58Jason Bateman?

  Easy, well, easy.

• 1:08:59Will Arnett?

  No, I like, I like.

• 1:09:01Speaker 03

  Nice guy.

• 1:09:01Will Arnett?

  He's a great guy.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:03Jason Bateman?

  You're taking well, okay? Back off. And you're, and you're back with Howard Gordon there, yeah?

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that was fun.

• 1:09:11Jason Bateman?

  Very, very cool.

• 1:09:12Sean Hayes?

  Who's Howard Gordon?

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  He was one of the creators of Homeland.

• 1:09:15Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. And he did 24 and X-Files and.

• 1:09:19Jason Bateman?

  Well, listen, we owe you three minutes and 40 seconds. We're over.

• 1:09:24Will Arnett?

  Claire Danes, sorry.

• 1:09:25Jason Bateman?

  It's like I could, I could, I could violate the time even further. You're, you're fantastic. Thank you for doing this.

• 1:09:33Speaker 03

  Oh, my pleasure. This was so fun. Thank you, guys.

• 1:09:35Jason Bateman?

  You know.

• 1:09:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Jason Bateman?

  Everybody watch The Beast in Me. It's on Netflix.

• 1:09:40Will Arnett?

  Yep. The great Claire Danes.

• 1:09:42Jason Bateman?

  Claire, we love you. Thank you very, very much.

• 1:09:45Will Arnett?

  Thank you so much, my God.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, bye. I don't know how to do this. I've closed the thing, right?

• 1:09:51Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Slam it!

• 1:09:54Jason Bateman?

  Claire Danes.

• 1:09:55Sean Hayes?

  Lovely, lovely woman.

• 1:09:58Jason Bateman?

  Been a part of our world for a very long time. That's thirty-plus years.

• 1:10:04Sean Hayes?

  I know. My so-called life when it was on MTV was such a huge show for, you know, our age. I mean, it was like a game changer. It was like our Dawson's Creek, you know what I mean? Anybody?

• 1:10:18Jason Bateman?

  Seventh Heaven, Dawson's Creek. I gotta say, I missed it.

• 1:10:23Sean Hayes?

  Oh, I loved it.

• 1:10:24Jason Bateman?

  Which is not too surprising.

• 1:10:25Will Arnett?

  It came out, uh...

• 1:10:27Jason Bateman?

  Here he comes.

• 1:10:28Sean Hayes?

  Wasn't Jared Leto in that too?

• 1:10:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, there was the two of them, wasn't there?

• 1:10:32Will Arnett?

  That's right.

• 1:10:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, isn't that crazy?

• 1:10:34Jason Bateman?

  What a couple.

• 1:10:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:36Jason Bateman?

  No, she's been, I just, you know, this is a hard business. It's even harder for women for some stupid unfair reason. And the fact that she's stayed so relevant at such a high level, doing such great work.

• 1:10:49Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, since she was a kid.

• 1:10:51Jason Bateman?

  In stuff that ain't easy, it's really, really admirable. She's had an incredible career thus far and seems not anywhere near done.

• 1:10:59Sean Hayes?

  She's one of the greats.

• 1:11:00Will Arnett?

  She's just got a big life in general, and she's got three kids, and she's doing so much.

• 1:11:05Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, we didn't even get into her charity work that she and her mom do for the women of Afghanistan, too, which is pretty cool. But what a delight, what a delight, you know? I mean, you know, guys, it's not that hard. If you guys just concentrate a little bit more, you could be charismatic. You could be warm, you could be, you know, people that people want to talk to and are charmed by after you're done speaking to them.

• 1:11:29Will Arnett?

  There's no way.

• 1:11:30Jason Bateman?

  No, I think you could do it.

• 1:11:32Will Arnett?

  I could never do it.

• 1:11:33Jason Bateman?

  Yes, you could. I want you to listen to this interview back and just focus on her. And just focus on just her magnetism, okay? And how she's engaging and she listens.

• 1:11:43Will Arnett?

  How am I ever gonna do it?

• 1:11:46Will Arnett?

  She's just trying to give a bye.

• 1:11:47Jason Bateman?

  Sean, I'm just trying to stall for you, Sean.

• 1:11:49Sean Hayes?

  I've read it by.

• 1:11:51Jason Bateman?

  No?

• 1:11:52Will Arnett?

  Sean, go to the left.

• 1:11:53Sean Hayes?

  You know what I'm doing? I'm just, I'm hanging, I'm hanging.

• 1:11:59Sean Hayes?

  Bye, your friend!

• 1:12:00Jason Bateman?

  About what?

• 1:12:03Sean Hayes?

  Coming up with a bye!

• 1:12:04Will Arnett?

  Coming up with a bye, I'll love it.

• 1:12:06Sean Hayes?

  Bye!

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

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• 1:12:18Will Arnett?

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• 1:13:04Speaker 06

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