MFM Minisode 457

This week’s hometowns include an accidental kidnapping and a school drop-off mishap. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Watch full episodes of My Favorite Murder on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com http://www.exactlyrightstore.com/. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Karen Kilgariff?

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 help make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 0:35Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ Sunny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception, his mom.

• 0:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 0:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.

• 0:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 1:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 1:03Speaker 03

  In New Orleans, truckers kept getting sideswiped the exact same way. When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, the rubber hits the road. And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it. This is a story about fake accidents that led to real consequences. Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

• 1:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello. And welcome. To my favorite murder.

• 2:03Karen Kilgariff?

  It's just a little gal.

• 2:05Georgia Hardstark?

  It's a secret little whisper minisode.

• 2:07Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, it'll be fun. It'll be all ASMR this whole time.

• 2:11Georgia Hardstark?

  We promise. It's just me screaming. I'm first?

• 2:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 2:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. This one's long, but it's fucking worth it.

• 2:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 2:18Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm not going to read you the title. Hi, ladies. I was listening to minisode 450, and something about the lovely Lithuanian woman's story made me think it was time to write in. Do you remember that one where the little girl like went on a day trip with the drug dealing Lithuanian woman?

• 2:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, yes.

• 2:32Georgia Hardstark?

  In the small town?

• 2:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 2:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, place. It's not Mayberry, but you can see it from here. Time, the banging on pots and pans stage of COVID. Names changed to protect the innocent. We had just bought the worst house in the nicest neighborhood, and we were in the process of a full remodel. It being COVID, we decided to take our golden retriever on a long walk by the creek in order to socially distance ourselves from our plumber, John, who was working on the upstairs bathroom. Since we live in a northern climate, the first nice day of the year, could be March, could be July, everybody throws open their windows and doors. We did just that and set off. We had the loveliest time by the creek and then headed home and entered on the bottom floor to give John his space upstairs. Almost immediately, we heard childlike giggling above us.

• 3:19Georgia Hardstark?

  My husband quizzically looked at me. I shrugged and I said, I assume John's wife dropped off his daughter so she can run errands or something? A little blond-haired, blue-eyed cherub suddenly appeared and started cooing and petting our dog. I, being a team player, scooped her up and took her and her new furry best friend outside to play. When we had our fill of the sun, we came inside for a snack and some cartoons, which led to a nice midday nap on the couch. At this point, John was about done with the bathroom, so he called for me to take a look. I picked up his daughter and headed upstairs. When we finished talking business, I asked John how old his daughter was. He looked at me questioningly and told me that the little girl I was holding wasn't his daughter.

• 3:58Karen Kilgariff?

  What?

• 3:59Georgia Hardstark?

  I threw my head back and laughed. Then, very emphatically, he said to me, Cassie, she's blonde. John, well, he isn't. We, on the other hand, well, we are. I replied or shrieked, so who is she? John shrieked back, I don't know. I assumed she was your niece. John, I'm about to call the cops. You need to tell me one last time that you're not kidding before I make a false report. Cassie, call 911. I called 911, holding on to this innocent kidnapped child for dear life.

• 4:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my God.

• 4:33Georgia Hardstark?

  As soon as the operator came on the line, I verbal vomited. Um, this is going to sound weird. I have no idea how this happened. Um, you see, I have a little girl. And at that, it was time for the operator to shriek, what does she look like? I gave her a description and she yelled to whoever was in the room with her, we found her. We found Jane.

• 4:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 4:51Georgia Hardstark?

  They fucking kidnapped a little kid. She asked for my address and told me she was sending an officer to come get the little girl. Remember the place? Mayberry adjacent? Yeah, nothing much happens around here. They didn't send a police officer. They sent the three squad cars and the six cops we have in town.

• 5:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Yep.

• 5:09Georgia Hardstark?

  And they followed all the protocols. All exits were blocked on either side of our house. The lights were flashing and cops were in our driveway with their hands on their hips. I come out with little Jane and hand her to the first officer. My brand new neighbors were looking on, undoubtedly muttering, there goes the neighborhood. Turns out Jane toddled out of her backyard and ended up at our house a couple of blocks away while her grandmother turned her back for a split second. They were searching for Jane in the opposite direction in a different neighborhood the entire time we were playing with the dog, having snacks and taking a nap.

• 5:44Karen Kilgariff?

  So scary.

• 5:46Georgia Hardstark?

  After I'd been interviewed by the cops, Jane's dad arrived to reunite with his daughter. They thought she got fucking kidnapped.

• 5:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 5:51Georgia Hardstark?

  And she did.

• 5:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Georgia Hardstark?

  To reunite with his daughter and walk her the couple of blocks home. Jane started crying. She didn't want to leave her new furry best friend behind. Her dad asked me if iron or gold in, wouldn't mind walking them home. So we did.

• 6:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 6:06Georgia Hardstark?

  I hope beyond all hope that Jane's grandmother forgives me for the prolonged panic I caused her. And as Jane grows up, I hope she continues her lifelong exploration of the world, but only after she tells her family where she's going. Stay sexy and remember what your eighth grade teacher taught you. Making assumptions makes an ass of you and me, Cassie.

• 6:26Karen Kilgariff?

  But Cassie, that's not fair because

• 6:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Karen Kilgariff?

  you didn't cause anything. You are truly just the consummate host for people, old and young.

• 6:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And you basically, for a child who probably could have been traumatized or in a lot of strife, you like kind of gave her a nice little day and then got her delivered back to her family. There was no, no problem.

• 6:52Georgia Hardstark?

  No, and she also didn't throw the first stone. Like grandma lost track of her first.

• 6:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Grandma turned that back. You know, that's why my parents moved out of San Francisco is this exact same thing happened with my mom and dad. And when my sister was like two years old, she just walked out the front yard. And she basically walked into the yard of the next door neighbor and started talking to the old lady that lived next door. And meanwhile, my parents are running all over the, like, they think my sister has been stolen out of the front yard. And they were like, we gotta get out of San Francisco.

• 7:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, man, you would have had such a cooler childhood if, in life, if your sister hadn't fucking.

• 7:25Karen Kilgariff?

  I'd still be smoking cloves right now, damn it. Okay, here's my first one. I'm not going to read you the subject line. It says, hello Karen, Georgia, pets and the entire MFM crew. I'm actually the mayor of my small.

• 7:40Georgia Hardstark?

  What? We have a mayor?

• 7:42Karen Kilgariff?

  See, I told you I didn't read these.

• 7:46Georgia Hardstark?

  This is news to Karen.

• 7:47Karen Kilgariff?

  We have a mayor, we have a mayor. I'm, I'm actually, capital M, I'm actually the mayor of my small hometown in Idaho and have always felt it was my duty to represent my constituents with an epic hometown story. But alas, I live in real life Mayberry from the Andy Griffith show. Yeah. But then I heard your requests for stories where siblings almost killed each other and I knew I had my tale to tell. My dad grew up in the same small town I live in now. He was one of four brothers all close in age. This was Idaho in the 60s, when things were even more loosey goosey than they are currently. And I grew up hearing tales of the brothers' fights and escapades, chasing wild mustangs in the desert of southern Idaho, racing cars.

• 8:30Karen Kilgariff?

  There's even still a bullet lodged in the wall of my grandparents' basement from an argument gone wrong. Yeah. My poor grandma tried to discipline the wild boys by swinging her broom around, but nothing really stuck. One day, my dad, who was one of the younger boys, picked a fight with one of his older siblings. I'm not sure what started it, but I can tell you how it ended. My dad stuck his tongue out at his brother and was shot with a BB gun right in the tongue.

• 8:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Ooh.

• 8:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Ouch.

• 8:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, fuck.

• 9:00Karen Kilgariff?

  The BB was lodged too deep to easily get it out and the boys were and the boys were too scared of my broom wielding grandma to tell anyone.

• 9:09Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 9:10Karen Kilgariff?

  So my poor dad was sworn to secrecy and had to suffer through very painful dinners for a week or so. Until his tongue grew over the BB.

• 9:21Georgia Hardstark?

  I am, I am, I'm speechless.

• 9:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Hold on, because here's the next sentence. It's still in his tongue to this day.

• 9:30Georgia Hardstark?

  What the fuck?

• 9:32Karen Kilgariff?

  He says he has

• 9:32Georgia Hardstark?

  He has a tongue piercing.

• 9:34Karen Kilgariff?

  Right, exactly, like a tongue implant. He has no problem getting through airport security, but it does really hurt when he accidentally bites down on it.

• 9:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 9:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Thank you for your entertaining podcast that I listen to in earbuds on walks all around my small town to get my steps. You two, it's so funny. You two are always so real and I appreciate the laughs. Also, shout out to my cousin Rhonda, who was also a murderino and whose father shot a small piece of lead into my father for eternity. So basically Rhonda's dad is the, is the culprit.

• 10:07Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it.

• 10:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and maybe tell someone when you've been shot. Rebecca, she, her.

• 10:12Georgia Hardstark?

  He, it could have gotten infected and fallen out of his mouth.

• 10:15Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, the levels of

• 10:18Georgia Hardstark?

  The level.

• 10:18Karen Kilgariff?

  The levels, because I think they're kind of right in the way where you shoot your brother in the face, in the mouth.

• 10:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Karen Kilgariff?

  You would be in so much trouble for so long.

• 10:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and you know what's crazy is that the brother, the dad, who had it happen, like, didn't rat on him.

• 10:32Karen Kilgariff?

  No.

• 10:32Georgia Hardstark?

  He's like, I, I will take this because I know, I don't want to see you get in that much trouble.

• 10:37Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, and also

• 10:38Georgia Hardstark?

  And you were right, I fucking stuck my tongue out at you, I shouldn't have fucking done that.

• 10:41Karen Kilgariff?

  I bet you the older brothers that were older than the one that shot him, Rhonda's dad, I'd like to call him.

• 10:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Karen Kilgariff?

  They were like, you have to keep your mouth shut, he will do your dishes.

• 10:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Literally.

• 10:50Karen Kilgariff?

  He will, he will do anything you want, like I bet you they bribe the living shit out of him.

• 10:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Definitely, definitely.

• 10:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, again,

• 10:57Georgia Hardstark?

  That was great.

• 10:58Karen Kilgariff?

  I just want to underline that we just got an email from the mayor of a small town in Idaho, a woman, and I would just like to also say, I just saw TikTok about how women need to start getting involved in politics on the local level. That's the way to affect change. So thank you, Rebecca, because you're doing it.

• 11:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank you. Fuck, I'm just tickled by that, that we have a mayor.

• 11:21Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so cool.

• 11:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 11:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Someday we'll find out what the town is.

• 11:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, maybe she should be the mayor of My Favorite Murder, too.

• 11:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, get in here.

• 11:31Speaker 04

  OnDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow gaps, OnDeck's loans up to $400,000 make it happen fast. Rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five-star TrustPilot reviews, OnDeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in minutes at ondeck.com. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 11:59Karen Kilgariff?

  You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 12:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 12:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.

• 12:14Georgia Hardstark?

  If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.

• 12:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula.

• 12:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.

• 12:33Karen Kilgariff?

  I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.

• 12:49Georgia Hardstark?

  And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?

• 12:51Karen Kilgariff?

  How dare you call my feet stinky?

• 12:54Georgia Hardstark?

  For wellness, you can feel fine. Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 13:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 13:00Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+

• 13:05Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception, his mom.

• 13:13Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 13:18Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 13:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 13:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 13:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series Phony.

• 13:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 13:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye.

• 13:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, this is also a sibling trying to kill siblings.

• 13:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, great.

• 13:50Georgia Hardstark?

  My sister tried to kill me. Hi Karen, Georgia, and whiskered associates, including Steven.

• 13:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Yay.

• 13:55Georgia Hardstark?

  So I'm the youngest of three girls. There's five and eight years between them and me. When I was about nine or 10, my eldest sister had a ferret that she wouldn't let me play with. So of course I would sneak in her room when she wasn't home to look at the smelly creature.

• 14:09Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm sorry, it's so greedy. It's like the ferret has nothing but love to give and you're just gonna be like, no, your sister can't see it or touch it.

• 14:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, leave it alone. It's in the cage by itself, so leave it alone.

• 14:20Karen Kilgariff?

  So mean.

• 14:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Depressed in the cage. Okay, one day after school, it appeared to me as if I beat my sister home, so I took the opportunity to go see the ferret. Little did I know, my sisters had removed the giant vent cover in her floor in front of the cage and replaced it with a carpet covered with clothes like wily coyote, like a wily coyote Acme trap. They set a fucking trap for their sister, dude.

• 14:46Karen Kilgariff?

  They utilized the pre-existing hole in the floor.

• 14:50Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right.

• 14:50Karen Kilgariff?

  The heating vent.

• 14:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Brilliant.

• 14:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 14:53Georgia Hardstark?

  You can guess what happened next. Yep, when I stepped in front of the cage, I fell through the hole and plummeted all the way down to the, all caps, basement.

• 15:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Holy shit.

• 15:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Bouncing off a shelf in the process. She could have fucking cracked her head open.

• 15:08Karen Kilgariff?

  She could have absolutely died for just for wanting the love of a ferret.

• 15:12Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, she didn't answer. That's hilarious.

• 15:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 15:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Thankfully, I landed on a pile of clothes they had placed beneath the trap. So at least they like, you know, they were total assholes.

• 15:21Karen Kilgariff?

  They planned ahead. They planned ahead.

• 15:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes. Yes. I wasn't hurt, except for my pride and having the breath knocked out of me. My ass. She could have got a fucking concussion, like.

• 15:31Karen Kilgariff?

  A full story or did you say?

• 15:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Into the basement. Yes. From one story to the basement.

• 15:36Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, just so dangerous. So dangerous.

• 15:40Georgia Hardstark?

  My asshole sisters were hiding in the basement, laughing that their plan had worked. My mom didn't find it so funny.

• 15:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, no.

• 15:47Georgia Hardstark?

  No. I've since introduced one of my sisters to your show and she is now a murderino. So Jamie, if you're listening, you know what you did was fucking wrong. LOL.

• 15:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Are you reading the email? Are you saying that yourself?

• 16:00Georgia Hardstark?

  It's the email. So Jamie, if you're listening, you know what you did was fucking wrong. LOL.

• 16:07Georgia Hardstark?

  My husband and I drove five hours from Delaware to see you guys in Pittsburgh and it was amazing. I hope the person in the balcony was okay. What happened in the balcony?

• 16:14Karen Kilgariff?

  They had a seizure, I think.

• 16:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, that's right. Oh, my God.

• 16:17Karen Kilgariff?

  I love that Pittsburgh show.

• 16:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Stay sexy and don't sneak into your sister's room. Love, Kira. I don't know if that's the lesson here.

• 16:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, I don't. Yeah, Kira, that's very little sister of you to take that upon yourself and it's your lesson to learn.

• 16:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 16:34Karen Kilgariff?

  How about, don't be so goddamn greedy with your ferret.

• 16:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Karen Kilgariff?

  How about that?

• 16:38Georgia Hardstark?

  Let's go to the beginning.

• 16:39Karen Kilgariff?

  How about there's plenty to go around with that ferret? Oh, man, that's so good. People get this. People get, after 10 years, people are really getting the point of the minisode.

• 16:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, totally.

• 16:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Good job. And you know what, Jamie? Good job for you, too.

• 16:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Thank you, Jamie, for the story.

• 16:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you have to do asshole things to get good emails for the future, so. Okay. The subject line of this email is, "You didn't ask for this, but you're getting it anyway." And it just starts, "I recently got my dream job as a librarian in a small, private school. I get to read with kids and help them grow into competent, confident adults, unlike myself." And then, parentheses, it says, "JK, I'm usually pretty competent." It says, "Today was the first day of school, and I wanted to make a good first impression, so I decided I would show up 15 minutes before school started. I've never worked in a school before, and no one told me that teachers and everybody show up way earlier than that."

• 17:34Georgia Hardstark?

  I think I knew that, and I have never worked in a... like, no, I have worked in a school as a lunch lady.

• 17:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 17:38Georgia Hardstark?

  And I knew that.

• 17:40Karen Kilgariff?

  But you had to get there around lunch-ish, 11:30?

• 17:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, it was breakfast and lunch.

• 17:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Did you wear a hairnet?

• 17:46Georgia Hardstark?

  No, but I wore gloves, like, little plastic gloves.

• 17:49Karen Kilgariff?

  Good, good, okay. Okay, so it says, "I pull into the parking lot. I am then shepherded against my will into the drop-off line.

• 17:58Karen Kilgariff?

  This was a long-ass line, and I really couldn't cut out across the parking lot and risk running over any of my new students. I realized I would have to stay in the drop-off line and drive past nearly every single one of my new colleagues as they were standing outside to greet the students."

• 18:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Why didn't any... she... someone should have said something, right?

• 18:18Karen Kilgariff?

  Have you ever been in a drop-off line?

• 18:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank God, no.

• 18:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Because I had to go pick up Nora at our old grammar school one day, and there was a whole... my sister, like, had to explain it to me, and she's like, "And you have to get there on time. You have to, Karen." And I was like, "Okay," as if that's possible. But people get there early, and then you're just locked into a single lane that they have blocked off on streets, and everybody... it's like this pre-agreed thing where, like, no one else goes down those streets, and they're... and you...

• 18:46Georgia Hardstark?

  No one honks, and you just fucking... I have never been in a drop-off line, but I have a fear of them still.

• 18:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, I understand that they are just, like, terrifying to everyone.

• 18:56Karen Kilgariff?

  They become their own weird machine, and you have to know how the machine works. So if you're the artsy aunt... From outside, you better fucking, you better watch your watch.

• 19:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, God.

• 19:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay.

• 19:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Were you honk? Okay, go ahead.

• 19:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, so, it's so great to, I'm just thinking, because I, my sister just started school again too, so it's like day three of basically her teaching kindergarteners how to go to school. And she's like, it's so hilarious. It's just like, every year it starts over and you're like, how do we do any of this? How, how do public schools function? It's insane. So, okay, so she says, "So here I am, more than 20 minutes late by the time I pull up in front of the school and stuck in this long ass line. I slowly inched past each one of the teachers and eventually the assistant principal and the principal, who are literally doubled over in laughter."

• 19:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, good.

• 19:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, thank God. "I was later politely informed that I should have arrived much earlier, which I had, of course, already realized by then. I made a dozen more embarrassing mistakes today. Oh, this was a day of email."

• 20:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow, that's right.

• 20:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, reporting, hot off the presses. "I made a dozen more embarrassing mistakes today, but I learned a lot and tomorrow will be better. The students were great. I was counting down the days until a kid told me something wild and it happened in my very first class." In parentheses, it says, "A very happy and excited girl. Guess what? My grandpa got sick and he's in the hospital and he died."

• 20:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Guess what?

• 20:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Guess what?

• 20:26Karen Kilgariff?

  That's what this whole podcast is.

• 20:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, seriously.

• 20:29Karen Kilgariff?

  "Thanks for reading if you do. And if any of my new coworkers are listening, feel free to stop by the library and make fun of me. SSDGM Kay."

• 20:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, you can feel Kay's like happiness and excitement. I love that.

• 20:42Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, you gotta love those people who are like, that's a good teacher because that's a person who understands you are going to make mistakes and you are gonna do better the next day.

• 20:50Georgia Hardstark?

  I love that.

• 20:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, it's nice.

• 20:54Speaker 01

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• 21:24Karen Kilgariff?

  You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 21:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray?

• 21:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals, powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.

• 21:39Georgia Hardstark?

  If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.

• 21:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula.

• 21:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.

• 21:59Karen Kilgariff?

  I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just sprayed on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.

• 22:14Georgia Hardstark?

  And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?

• 22:17Karen Kilgariff?

  How dare you call my feet stinky?

• 22:19Georgia Hardstark?

  For wellness, you can feel find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 22:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 22:26Georgia Hardstark?

  The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+.

• 22:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Sonny's life is pretty great. Until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception: his mom.

• 22:38Georgia Hardstark?

  To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives. But for Sonny, he knows something is off.

• 22:43Karen Kilgariff?

  As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.

• 22:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Is this all in his head or is there really an imposter in his house?

• 22:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Neveola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.

• 23:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Watch the Hulu original series Phony.

• 23:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.

• 23:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, my last one is called "The Flamingo Ghost?"

• 23:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 23:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Hello, amazing ladies, pets, and people. I am anxious, so let's just get into it. I was listening to a minisode recently, and you had asked about meant-to-be stories, so here's mine. After a breakup and living on my own for almost 10 years, I moved back to my parents' house. I am so thankful for my amazing parents. They are truly two of the most selfless, wonderful people out there. Rag.

• 23:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, I know. Lucky, lucky.

• 23:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Sounds great. They made it easy for an almost 30-year-old to live at home. After a year of living at home, I was ready to start dating again. I'm on the apps, just letting whatever come my way. I start messaging with this guy, James. He was so nice and quick to ask me on a date, which I've actually... that's a positive, right? It's like, let's not talk for fucking three weeks until you ask me out.

• 23:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Exactly.

• 24:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Don't waste my fucking time, essentially.

• 24:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Georgia Hardstark?

  First thing he says on the date is he forgot his first cousin is from my hometown. I ask him their name. It was one of my close friends in high school, and our families are still friendly and see each other. That just put me at ease, knowing he wasn't a complete stranger, and I'm safe on this date. The date goes amazingly. We talk the entire time, and I really hope we go out again. I could go on about how great he is, but I will try to keep this short. Initially, I was like, they're gonna be related, I bet.

• 24:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 24:29Georgia Hardstark?

  They're not. Spoiler.

• 24:32Karen Kilgariff?

  We fall in love, and then we get the blood test.

• 24:34Georgia Hardstark?

  We're also cousins. When I get home, I told my parents about the date and how he was my old friend's cousin. We had actually met once at a birthday party. My mom puts the pieces together and realized she has something of his late mother's. She goes on to explain that after James's mother had passed the year before due to her long battle with cancer and cancer-related illnesses, her family was giving some of her belongings to loved ones. One of the items given to James's aunt, his mom's sister, was a flamingo figurine. Auntie has many things of her sisters and feels like the flamingo figurine deserves a home with someone who will love it. That home being my mother's. Everyone that knows my mother knows she loves flamingos. Aren't flamingos a sign of swingers?

• 25:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Or the pineapples.

• 25:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Pineapple, I've heard. And I think it's like an upside down pineapple.

• 25:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Right, something like that.

• 25:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Because you know, my welcome mat in my front door has a pineapple on it.

• 25:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Karen, that's like inviting swingers.

• 25:31Karen Kilgariff?

  I didn't know.

• 25:32Georgia Hardstark?

  When people go on cruises, they put a fucking, like a picture or a thing of a pineapple on their door to let everyone know.

• 25:37Karen Kilgariff?

  I didn't know. I didn't know, but that's why my, my doorbell's going off night and day.

• 25:42Georgia Hardstark?

  That's it. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm reading this. At a bridal shower for a mutual friend that my mother and I attended, James's aunt gives my mother this flamingo. She loves it. She puts it in her bathroom. I never tell James this because in my head, it's just sounds weird. Hey, I know we just went on a first date, but my mom was given something that belonged to your deceased mom. Hope we can hang out again.

• 26:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, don't bring that up.

• 26:03Georgia Hardstark?

  I'll keep that to myself for a while. A few months down the road and we're dating and it's time for James to meet my parents. He comes over to our home and things are going very well. After using the bathroom, he comes out laughing and says to my family, that is so strange. I bought my mom a flamingo that looks just like that one. Jaws drop. Oh, shit. Not only was that flamingo his mom's, he bought it for her.

• 26:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my God.

• 26:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Meant to be. We think so. Cut to three years later, James and I are now engaged and are getting married in November 2026. Our families always say that his mom, Joanne, saw me and picked me out for her son. I truly wish I could have met Joanne. I know she was spunky, had a huge heart and was an extremely strong woman. And I am honored that she chose me for her son. I cannot wait to see you at your late show in Boston. Thank you for fostering everyone's love of true crime and giving out more knowledge on sobriety and therapy. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Angelica, Rhode Island.

• 27:02Karen Kilgariff?

  God, Angelica, that is, wait, so James now knows? When did they tell James?

• 27:07Georgia Hardstark?

  I think when he came out of the bathroom. They were like, oh, yeah, your mom had one exactly like that because that belonged to your mom.

• 27:12Karen Kilgariff?

  It's hers. God. And also just like, you know, me and my story about the bell that my sister found, a little lady that's shaped like a bell. Like, that's the kind of thing where it's like, it seems small and no big deal, but it truly is like, oh, my God, this, this beautiful connection.

• 27:29Georgia Hardstark?

  Everything means something.

• 27:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 27:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Or nothing means anything sometimes.

• 27:33Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, I think it changes. It switches back and forth. Depending on the week. Yeah, I got one more. And the subject line of this email says, "Humanity Isn't All Lost. Light Hearted." It says, "Hi ladies, love you, love what you do. Thank you and please give your critters a snuggle for me. I was leaving a small town where my family reunion is hosted every other year. 100-plus Czech family members, 2.3 kegs of beer are floated by 3:00 PM when all the good kids go to church half-drunk and I go take a nap and then continue to party at my uncle's house. Needless to say, I was tired. I'm almost to the interstate and my tire goes from full to flat in the blink of an eye. Thankfully, I was able to

• 28:16Karen Kilgariff?

  roll into a gas station and call an uncle to come and help. My uncle's on the way and I start trying to get the spare out from under my truck. It's not going well. And over walks a cowboy. I'm in my early twenties and exercised my newfound ability from living in a major city for two years to say, 'No, thank you, sir. I'm just fine on my own and my uncle's on his way.'" And shut Mr. Cowboy down. Cool. Independent. Failing at getting this tire out, but still trying. Then comes a Boy Scout. Once again, this independent big-city woman shuts him down and sends him away.

• 28:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Boy Scout.

• 28:50Karen Kilgariff?

  A Boy Scout. Then, I kid you not, a priest, caller and all, comes over to ask if I was okay.

• 28:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Was it all the same person, just like changing outfits?

• 29:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Just going behind the gas station, coming back out. At this point, I'm just laughing because this feels like I'm in the middle of a joke where a cowboy, a Boy Scout, and a priest walk into a gas station and try to help this stupid stubborn woman. My uncle showed up about then and changed my tire and I went off smiling. That, yes, sometimes life is a joke, but sometimes life reminds you that there is goodness in the world, no matter how hard you try to shut it out. Stay sexy and try to see the good in the world. Megan, she/her. P.S. I might have gotten the order wrong, but the characters are accurate. A cowboy, a boy scout, and a priest.

• 29:35Georgia Hardstark?

  That's adorable. I would have let the cowboy help me immediately.

• 29:40Karen Kilgariff?

  Hell, yes.

• 29:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Right?

• 29:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes. Let the cowboy help you, then go to the bar with the cowboy that he will invite you to after he does that.

• 29:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Make out with the cowboy.

• 29:51Karen Kilgariff?

  Make out with that cowboy.

• 29:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes. All right. That was a good one. Thank you, guys, for sending your stories in. Have you made out with a cowboy? Let us know.

• 29:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes, any cowboy makeouts in detail. Did you go to the rodeo last year and make out with a cowboy? We'd love to hear about it.

• 30:07Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. Thanks for your emails. Stay sexy.

• 30:09Karen Kilgariff?

  And don't get murdered.

• 30:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 30:21Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right production.

• 30:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

• 30:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 30:28Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Leona Spolaci.

• 30:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 30:33Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 30:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 30:40Georgia Hardstark?

  And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.

• 30:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 30:52Georgia Hardstark?

  You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.

• 30:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 30:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals, it's designed to relax and prepare you for a night of rest.

• 31:03Karen Kilgariff?

  If you need a reset after your day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine.

• 31:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Generously spritz each foot before bed and you'll be all set. I've actually started doing this and I'm obsessed with magnesium. It does everything.

• 31:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Something like this is just like, it's simple, it's easy, and it actually works.

• 31:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. For wellness you can feel, find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 31:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 31:25Speaker 05

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• 31:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 31:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20th, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 32:07Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wisecrack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet-and-greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 32:24Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 32:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot. Goodbye.