The Shroud Of Kurpin: Jesus CONFIRMED?? | FILE_25 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: https://www.duncantrussell.com/tour ⁠ 🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger 🦊 Buster (Tanner's Friend From School): https://instagram.com/mysterybuster666 To learn more about the Shroud visit ⁠othonia.org⁠ or follow ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@OthoniaInc⁠ To learn more about the Catholic faith: Alex’s channel ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@babelforgod⁠ Follow Patricio Gutierrez on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/patricio.gutierrez.pro⁠ SPONSORS: It's time to upgrade your nicotine pouch. Get 20% off your first order by using code MYSTERY at https://lucy.co/ #ad Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. Is the Shroud of Turin actually the burial cloth of Jesus Christ? One of the most controversial religious relics in history becomes the center of a conversation about Christianity, Catholicism, ancient artifacts, miracles, and the mystery surrounding the life and death of Jesus. Kurt and Duncan explore the Shroud's authenticity, the controversial 1988 carbon dating, religious worship versus idolatry, and why people are finding their way back to Jesus. What does God actually want from sacrifice, and where does faith end and idolatry begin? The boys also get into the strange intersection of religion and popular culture, including the Catholic symbolism of The Lord of the Rings, the end of the world, countries preparing to stockpile food, and whether we're living through the beginning of something biblical. Plus, Kurt's Jewish heritage comes under investigation, the Circumcision Board makes an appearance, and the papoose board enters the discussion. It's a theological investigation that somehow ends up involving foreskins, ancient religious mysteries, and the apocalypse. Mystery Boys File_25 The views and opinions expressed by The Mystery Boys and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views or official positions of Othonia Inc. https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:56 - How Do We Know The Shroud of Turin is Jesus? 00:19:50 - Worshiping and Idolatry 00:32:28 - God and Sacrifice 00:36:18 - The Golden Leaf Judas Coin 00:48:35 - Why Are People Moving Towards Jesus? 00:59:50 - Events Surrounding The Shroud Of Turin 01:19:22 - Carbon Dating Claims 01:25:19 - The World Is Ending? 01:28:54 - The Lord Of The Rings and Catholicism 01:40:26 - Is Kurt Metzger A Jew? 01:43:21 - The Circumcision Board Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:52Kurt Metzger?

  Well, hi, I'm Celebrity Chef, Shemp, Chartworthy. And with me as always is

• 0:58Duncan Trussell?

  Alfredo Gonzalez of the Seventh Veil.

• 1:06Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can you guys, can you guys move, I can't see the intro.

• 1:10Kurt Metzger?

  Also, can we put the stuff more close to me so that I knock it over?

• 1:13Duncan Trussell?

  They're doing that on purpose.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 1:15Kurt Metzger?

  I have suspected it. What'd you say your name was again?

• 1:18Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, and what?

• 1:20Speaker 03

  Gonzalez, I heard that.

• 1:22Duncan Trussell?

  Alfredo Gonzo, are you joking? I'm Alfredo Gonzalez of the Seventh Veil. And with us here today are Alex and Patricio Gutierrez from Athonia Inc. Here we have with us a shroud of Turin expert, two crusading knights, a crusader.

• 1:41Kurt Metzger?

  Let me change my name.

• 1:43Duncan Trussell?

  To what?

• 1:43Kurt Metzger?

  Something Hispanic.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Carlos.

• 1:46Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Carlos.

• 1:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's my Spanish name for Spanish class.

• 1:50Duncan Trussell?

  How about Carlos Interrupto?

• 1:53Kurt Metzger?

  Hi, I'm Celebrity Chef, Carlos Interrupto.

• 1:55Duncan Trussell?

  And I'm Alfredo Gonzalez of the Seventh Veil. And with us here today is Alex and Patricio Gutierrez from Athonia Inc. These are experts on the Shroud of Turin. And as you can see before us, we have scale replicas of the implements of torture and the nails that were driven into our Lord Jesus Christ's hands.

• 2:20Kurt Metzger?

  Is this like a Christmas episode or something?

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Pretty close, yeah.

• 2:23Duncan Trussell?

  How y'all doing?

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Good, great, yeah, it's great to be here. But yeah, Alex Gutierrez, my brother here.

• 2:28Speaker 04

  Today I will be, yeah, today will be Geoffroy de Charny, the first knight to come into possession of the Shroud of Turin.

• 2:35Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Geoffroy first and second, I'll be the dad.

• 2:38Duncan Trussell?

  Geoffroy?

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Geoffroy, Geoffrey.

• 2:39Duncan Trussell?

  Geoffrey.

• 2:40Kurt Metzger?

  And you merry worshippers drink White Claw?

• 2:43Duncan Trussell?

  I already offered, yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Thanks.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Water here is good, yeah, thank you.

• 2:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you're gonna turn it into White Claw?

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, there you go.

• 2:49Kurt Metzger?

  Carlos Interrupto.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 2:53Duncan Trussell?

  What, what's your name?

• 2:54Speaker 03

  I'm Patricio Gutierrez, but King Abgar V of Edessa.

• 2:59Duncan Trussell?

  And what'd you do, king?

• 3:00Speaker 03

  First Christian king.

• 3:02Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, the first Christian king.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  I think I was sick, you know what I mean? I think they thought I had a leprosy.

• 3:07Kurt Metzger?

  Is it okay to handle this with the grabber?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  There you go, but

• 3:10Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I didn't know that was on there like that.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  First, first big fan of Jesus, heard Jesus's miracles and sent him a letter to see if he could cure me. Told me I was too busy about to get, you know, with his mission in Jerusalem.

• 3:23Duncan Trussell?

  Sent Jesus a letter?

• 3:24Speaker 03

  I sent Jesus a letter.

• 3:25Kurt Metzger?

  Wait a minute, I'm sorry. Are you the actual, is this like Indiana Jones third movie thing where like you've been guarding the grail the whole time and you're alive? Or are you saying as the

• 3:34Duncan Trussell?

  The historic king that he's portraying.

• 3:36Kurt Metzger?

  So you're portraying as that king?

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're historical people.

• 3:38Kurt Metzger?

  But you're really embodying him.

• 3:39Duncan Trussell?

  Hold on a second. Even more mysterious to me than the Shroud of Turin is that there was a mail system back then and that Jesus got mail.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 3:47Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus got mail?

• 3:48Kurt Metzger?

  He's a king of where?

• 3:49Speaker 03

  From King, King Abgar V of Edessa.

• 3:53Kurt Metzger?

  Odessa, like Ukraine?

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Uh, no, that's a Texas.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  This is modern day Turkey.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Modern day Turkey.

• 3:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, Turkey.

• 4:00Duncan Trussell?

  So like Jesus would be like walking with the disciples. And somebody would come and be like, is there a Jesus Christ here? Jesus Christ, we have a letter from the king.

• 4:09Kurt Metzger?

  It was a lot like Elder Scrolls back then. Sir, there's a message for you.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:13Duncan Trussell?

  Are you joking?

• 4:14Speaker 03

  And it would be my letter, yeah, I sent him a letter.

• 4:16Duncan Trussell?

  What's his address?

• 4:17Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, tell me this story is not you, because we're getting very confused.

• 4:20Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, this king?

• 4:21Kurt Metzger?

  So who's the king? Tell me the name of the king that you're portraying.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  King Abgar V of Edessa.

• 4:26Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, Abgar V, and what year is this?

• 4:28Speaker 04

  This is during the time of Jesus, so

• 4:30Kurt Metzger?

  So first century.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  First century, yeah.

• 4:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  It's a legend, a legend.

• 4:34Kurt Metzger?

  King Abgar V?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  There we go.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Ah, see, what does he have in the, in his hands? The image.

• 4:41Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know this, all this about the shroud that it was supposedly went to this king.

• 4:46Duncan Trussell?

  Do you think he ended it with, I hope our paths cross one day?

• 4:51Speaker 04

  He requested for him to come to

• 4:54Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  He said, I want him to come.

• 4:56Kurt Metzger?

  That's very good.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Jesus sent me

• 4:58Kurt Metzger?

  I missed it, but it's actually very good.

• 5:00Speaker 04

  What's that?

• 5:01Duncan Trussell?

  I hope our paths cross one day?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you go.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Oh, man, okay. Yeah, got you.

• 5:07Duncan Trussell?

  I, I just am trying to think about this, man, and I don't want to get hung up on it.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:13Duncan Trussell?

  But I didn't know there was a mail system back then. And I didn't know that Jesus potentially received mail from different people. And also you have to wonder, how did this king hear about Jesus while Jesus was alive? Like, how did word get to the king?

• 5:30Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, how early is Eusebius?

• 5:33Speaker 04

  I think fourth century.

• 5:34Kurt Metzger?

  So that was like a popular pharmacy at the time, Eusebius. Take your letters there.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 5:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, what do you, what happened? Are you still in pictures? All right, let's see, he wrote the, oh, I can't see it because you're, okay. Uh, together with Pamphylis, Pamphylis? I guess a guy made like zines. Eusebius was a scholar, stop making the windows pop up, I can't read it. What are you doing? Are you, you see how we're plagued by a demon named Tanner?

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:03Duncan Trussell?

  And Lindsey Graham's AI has infected our computers.

• 6:07Kurt Metzger?

  On AGI, so we're covering all the angles, the tech problems and the mystical problems on this show.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 6:13Kurt Metzger?

  Pamphylis. Okay, so I, this story, they keep saying it's a tradition, so it sounds like it's not a real story is what it sounds like.

• 6:20Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it's still cool.

• 6:21Speaker 04

  Tradition, it's not, it's not dogma, that's for sure.

• 6:23Kurt Metzger?

  Because how do you know this? Look, here's my big question on the Shroud of Turin. And I'm all for it, if you could get some squeezins out of it and make, I don't know what you do with it. But how do you know it's Jesus, not just some guy with a beard?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Well, I would say up until this day, nobody can explain how the image was formed.

• 6:40Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's fair, but still, there's no idea of Jesus other than a beard.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  Well, no, no, no. It, it, the image, it has a clear image of a man who was crucified, crowned, scourged, pierced on his side, and plucked beard. And there is no other person in, in history that meets that description.

• 6:58Duncan Trussell?

  They plucked his beard?

• 6:59Speaker 04

  They did.

• 7:00Duncan Trussell?

  How much?

• 7:01Speaker 04

  I don't, well, it's on the shroud, it's, I don't know, a little bit.

• 7:03Duncan Trussell?

  So they took a chunk out of his beard?

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:06Duncan Trussell?

  Romans were so fucked up.

• 7:08Kurt Metzger?

  Who would have had his shroud? And also, is a shroud, so who is it? Joseph Arimathea gave him a nice shroud?

• 7:13Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  It is Joseph Arimathea, yeah.

• 7:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, well, how does it work?

• 7:17Speaker 04

  Okay, so yeah, let me just start off by saying, yeah, so I'm with Athonia Inc. My brother's a volunteer, he's helped at many events with Father Andrew Dalton, taking pictures, and he's been around. So I'd say if we want to start at the beginning, then it was Joseph of Arimathea who purchased the, the tomb. Because he had to be, Jesus had friends in high places. You needed to be rich to buy a tomb like that. Jesus was killed like the worst of criminals, but he was buried like a king.

• 7:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  And he also bought the shroud. So it was when he was crucified on Good Friday, then he, he goes

• 7:49Kurt Metzger?

  There was a sale on shrouds, so that was handy.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, he goes and asks for permission from Pilate.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  It's two for one, I think.

• 7:57Kurt Metzger?

  I just stared at Duncan's eyes after I said that nonsense.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  He, he

• 8:02Kurt Metzger?

  I want to see him have to listen to it and register.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  He gets permission from Pilate to take the body down. So between Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, they wrap the body in the linen and they put him in the tomb. That's on, on Friday.

• 8:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Then on Sunday, if we go to the Gospel of John, chapter 20, I think it's verse eight, it's the resurrection passage, so Mary Magdalene wakes up early that morning, but not early enough because the body's gone.

• 8:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 8:29Kurt Metzger?

  It is Mary Magdalene, it's not?

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Mary Magdalene, yeah. And she sees who she thinks is the gardener. And she's saying like, tell me where they've taken my Lord, like I'll do anything and just tell me where he is. And then Jesus appears to her, it was, it was really him and says, calls her by name, says Mary. And then she recognizes him and says Rabbi to, to him.

• 8:50Duncan Trussell?

  Why do you think, I've always wondered this, why?

• 8:53Kurt Metzger?

  Is that like an anti-Semitic insult or something?

• 8:55Duncan Trussell?

  In, in these stories

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Good kind of Rabbi.

• 8:57Duncan Trussell?

  When people encounter Jesus, at first they don't recognize him.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  They don't, yeah.

• 9:01Duncan Trussell?

  What is that?

• 9:02Speaker 04

  That's very interesting, and it's something I'll share later about the, the road to Emmaus. We have multiple examples of, for whatever reason, Jesus was there, but they didn't recognize him. So it's almost like he has, I mean, he's God. He has a way to make himself known or perhaps not yet, so to reveal himself.

• 9:21Duncan Trussell?

  Can I tell you why I, this is again, like, I love these stories, I love Jesus, I'm not trying to be edgelordy or offensive.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 9:28Duncan Trussell?

  But anytime I hear these stories, I always think, these are people who are grieving and some clever person realized that all he had to do is be like, uh, I'm Jesus.

• 9:39Kurt Metzger?

  I told Duncan I was his mom for two years once. Now, he knew right away, but I kept, kept it up for two years. It was very strange.

• 9:46Duncan Trussell?

  It was really sad when I found out you were my mom. I thought it was weird when you're like, you can breastfeed again.

• 9:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, he didn't fall for any, any of it. He said I didn't sound like her. And also I didn't have the same taste of milk, right? Anyway, it's not important, but

• 10:00Duncan Trussell?

  It tasted very sour.

• 10:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you're not supposed to adjust.

• 10:03Duncan Trussell?

  Tasted like White Claw and kratom.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Tell a lie enough, it becomes true, is that, that type of thing?

• 10:08Duncan Trussell?

  But, so, yeah, what is that? Like, I, what, what is the general explanation for that? Why was he disguising himself and then revealing himself like that?

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I think it always has to do with

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Testing us in a good way, not like, ha, like, I got you.

• 10:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  But he, you know, he, he performed miracles. He showed everybody who he was and people still didn't know. Except Peter. Peter went, went to say, hey, who do you say that I am? And he said, you are the Christ.

• 10:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  And he says that it's, it's my father that revealed this to you.

• 10:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  You wouldn't be able to know this without the Holy Spirit. So it's, it's a mystery. We're on the mystery boys and who is more, you know, more, more enigmatic than the Shroud of Turin and, but Jesus did reveal himself. That is part of the God became man. He, the incarnation.

• 10:54Kurt Metzger?

  Was he like, look, I just gotta pick up my shroud I left? I'll just be in and out real quick.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:59Kurt Metzger?

  I left my shroud in there.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  I gotta take it back. I left my dirty laundry there. Gotta get it back.

• 11:02Duncan Trussell?

  It is dirty laundry.

• 11:03Kurt Metzger?

  Has anybody seen my keys?

• 11:05Duncan Trussell?

  And in defense of the shroud being real, for sure, Jesus was renowned enough at the time that someone would have taken the shroud. Because the soldiers were like betting on.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Casting lots.

• 11:17Duncan Trussell?

  Casting lots. They're betting on.

• 11:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, just to point this out, just to play devil's advocate.

• 11:21Duncan Trussell?

  Sure. Go ahead. Literally the devil's advocate that you would ask any questions about this not being.

• 11:26Kurt Metzger?

  Carlos interrupto.

• 11:29Kurt Metzger?

  Let him cook.

• 11:30Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead, Carlos. What do you got?

• 11:32Kurt Metzger?

  Um, so we don't know how famous he was at the time. I mean, it's like, not a lot of records of him. We know the Bible story, which I, I said, go ahead and take it.

• 11:42Duncan Trussell?

  If you're not listening to Jesus Christ Superstar, he was super famous at the time.

• 11:46Kurt Metzger?

  He was, well, okay, they have no records of him like that. Now, there's some things here and there. I don't think that means he wasn't real or any dumb joke like that. I'm just saying.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  You're not a gnostic.

• 11:57Kurt Metzger?

  No. Well, I don't know enough about it.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  How's it going?

• 12:06Kurt Metzger?

  I need to know more.

• 12:08Duncan Trussell?

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• 12:51Duncan Trussell?

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• 13:35Duncan Trussell?

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• 13:56Speaker 05

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the.

• 14:00Speaker 05

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• 14:26Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, but he had huge throngs of people following him around.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:30Duncan Trussell?

  Like, so that, you know, he would have.

• 14:32Kurt Metzger?

  They say that in the Bible, but if I'm going to be Mr. History guy.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 14:35Kurt Metzger?

  Which I am a Mr. History guy.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 14:37Kurt Metzger?

  They're gonna go, well, we only have a couple of things that.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  You have Josephus, you have Jewish sources, you have Romans.

• 14:43Kurt Metzger?

  Josephus, I think is a good one because he was like, uh, he wasn't like.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  He's a historian.

• 14:47Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And well, what do you think? Cause they say what he wrote about Jesus, someone altered it also later. You've seen that, right? Where they go, he, he goes, um, you know, the Romans executed him as this and that. And then, uh, there's this added part to it supposedly. Or maybe it's not. Maybe he wrote it.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  Something like this, but can't, can't speak to that.

• 15:05Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, what do you think about, not to get weirdly political, my wife sent me this. What do you think about Talarri? Have you seen Talarico's pastor? Have you seen this Metzger?

• 15:14Kurt Metzger?

  Well, let me guess, there's some kind of non-binary Episcopalian nonsense and.

• 15:18Duncan Trussell?

  Presbyterian.

• 15:19Kurt Metzger?

  Aaron spent so much time on social media.

• 15:20Duncan Trussell?

  Presbyterian.

• 15:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Presbylothery.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Some respect.

• 15:23Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think? No, she basically like, which is wild because she's like, I guess, what do they call Presbyterians? Ministers? She's a minister, but she said, you know, Jesus, there is no historic Jesus. It wasn't real.

• 15:35Kurt Metzger?

  Why bother going to church?

• 15:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I know. It's just weird for a minister to say that. What do you guys think about that?

• 15:41Speaker 04

  I mean, if you can't get the basis right, like Jesus was a real person, how do you call yourself a Christian, you know?

• 15:49Kurt Metzger?

  I see they go all in and don't do it. I think Christ said that as well.

• 15:52Duncan Trussell?

  He, it's his words exactly.

• 15:54Kurt Metzger?

  No, it's paraphrasing, but he said, I don't like lukewarm. I like you to.

• 15:57Speaker 04

  He did. He said he would vomit you out. God said that.

• 15:59Kurt Metzger?

  Spit you out. You know, things that are safe for work. I spit it out. Safe for work.

• 16:04Duncan Trussell?

  So.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Go bigger, whoa, whoa.

• 16:05Duncan Trussell?

  I'm just saying, I'm saying there is, if he was, even if he wasn't like super renowned, if he had followers, there is a chance that they would have taken the shroud.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Right. Well, so that's where we were getting to. So we know that Peter and John. Okay. I didn't get to that. So, so Peter and John get to the tomb. Uh, John gets there first and he makes you know that, that he was faster. He waits for Peter, he stoops in and then three times the word Athonia is mentioned. So Athonia is, that's the nonprofit that, that I'm with and that promotes the Shroud of Turin. They make Jesus known through the Shroud of Turin. Uh, but that word is there in that, in that passage three times. Why? Why are we focusing on the dirty laundry? And it must be, at the, at the end of that passage, it says that he saw and believed. We don't know what he saw, but he know, but he didn't say like Mary Magdalene, like where is the body or did somebody take the body?

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Something about what he saw in the tomb made him believe. It could be the condition of the tomb. It could be that he saw the mysterious image. It could be that he saw light. It could be many, many things. The only thing we have to go on the participle is the word kamen in Greek, which is, uh, lying. So the, the shroud was, the Athonia was lying there. It was still.

• 17:14Duncan Trussell?

  Athonia means shroud?

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Athonia means shroud.

• 17:16Kurt Metzger?

  In Greek.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  In Greek. So if we were able to read Greek, maybe, I don't know if someone does, then we would be able to.

• 17:23Kurt Metzger?

  I, I had to stop.

• 17:26Speaker 04

  Greek life?

• 17:26Kurt Metzger?

  It's dirty. Feel dirty reading it. I don't know how to describe it, but it's really.

• 17:32Duncan Trussell?

  I know what you mean.

• 17:33Kurt Metzger?

  Not gonna name names, but you know, there's a guy, creep, we know who speaks Greek.

• 17:38Speaker 04

  So, so yeah, if we were able to read Greek, you would see the word Athonia three times. And then in Latin, the face cloth, uh, is the sudarium. That's the one that's in Oviedo, Spain today. So they're, they're there and it's like a balloon that was inflated, but it stayed tied and the air went out. So it was like, it, it was just flat, meaning that's when we get to the science about the shroud is there is no smudging. There, it's not like Jesus got out and just tore the sheets off.

• 18:02Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Because there is no signs of smudging or smearing or, or anything on, on the shroud. It's as if he passed through like a, like light through a windowpane.

• 18:10Duncan Trussell?

  Whoa.

• 18:11Speaker 04

  And some people have kind of studied this.

• 18:12Duncan Trussell?

  That's what baked it in.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Well, yes.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Kind of like a photograph or an X-ray because the shroud itself does act like a, we'll get to this in a bit, I guess, but it's like the, the shroud itself acts as a photographic negative. And, um, they think if the, the, there would have had to be some light, I guess, if it's behaving like a film.

• 18:29Duncan Trussell?

  Wild. So he sort of, he ascended, he turned, he turned into light and baked it, baked his image.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  There was a physicist and his name is Paolo di Latzaro in Italy. And he, for five years played with, uh, light and like the amplitude, the frequency and kind of trying to see what color, what, what would I need to get the coloration on the shroud that is there? And he came up with a number that's like 34,000, 34 trillion, thousand trillion, uh, watts of energy in like one 40 billionth of a second.

• 18:59Duncan Trussell?

  But wouldn't that have incinerated the shroud?

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Well, that's the thing. So it's the numerator and the denominator. It's a fraction. You need, you don't just need a lot of power on top. You need in a split second to not char the whole thing. So, because he would, when he was testing this, he would just burn. It's like a flash.

• 19:14Kurt Metzger?

  Um, Paul have mentioned the importance of this fucking shroud? You know, like.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  Maybe he didn't see it. Well, he didn't, he, he saw, I, I've heard you guys talk about Paul. You're like.

• 19:23Kurt Metzger?

  I'm a big Paul guy. Cause I like how he just comes in and is like.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  We'll get to the road of Damascus.

• 19:27Kurt Metzger?

  I talk to him.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  Hey, 50% of the New Testament is Paul. So I mean, he's, he's great, but he saw Jesus, but it was in a different way. He didn't meet him like. It's hard to, I don't know if in person.

• 19:39Kurt Metzger?

  He got blinded and then he had to, I did correct Doug it on JRE about this.

• 19:42Duncan Trussell?

  You didn't correct shit, boy. You're a weirdly a literalist non-believer. If you ask me, the Paul going blind, by the way, you're watching the Christian boys with the two crusaders. Um, on the road to Damascus, that to me is a symbol.

• 20:06Kurt Metzger?

  We're trad and we're bad.

• 20:07Duncan Trussell?

  We're trad and bad. The, the, now, listen to Hot Dog Man. Listen to Hot Dog Man.

• 20:13Kurt Metzger?

  Doesn't mean gay like it usually does.

• 20:14Duncan Trussell?

  Listen to Hot Dog Man talk about this, solve tarsus, the conversion. I think the blindness represents that anyone who has yet to come in contact with the spirit of Jesus is blind. And that Paul wasn't made blind. Paul realized he was fucking blind. I think that's what happened.

• 20:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's a very interesting take on it.

• 20:36Duncan Trussell?

  He realized he was blind.

• 20:37Kurt Metzger?

  I find that interesting.

• 20:38Duncan Trussell?

  That's my take on it. That's the, my interpretation of it.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  I'd say it's both. It's usually things have more layers.

• 20:44Kurt Metzger?

  A lot of yes ands and not either ors and these things.

• 20:47Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Enough said.

• 20:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 20:53Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I just don't get why the thing of relics and, uh, cause I, it seems like you're just veering and, you know, not to point out a constant problem with papists.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Go ahead. I'm a, I'm a big papist.

• 21:05Kurt Metzger?

  Constant relic, constant idolatry, I would call it as a, as a gay.

• 21:10Duncan Trussell?

  You don't even understand idolatry.

• 21:11Kurt Metzger?

  As a Presbyterian queer, I would call it idolatry.

• 21:14Duncan Trussell?

  You don't know what idolatry is, boy?

• 21:16Kurt Metzger?

  Idol worship.

• 21:17Duncan Trussell?

  No, you don't know. Idolatry is false idols, right? That's what's in there. It doesn't say don't worship idols. It says don't worship false idols.

• 21:27Kurt Metzger?

  They didn't make idols of, I mean, no, you're not supposed to worship idols.

• 21:30Duncan Trussell?

  It says false.

• 21:31Kurt Metzger?

  I think even Catholics who I'm accusing of that would agree you shouldn't worship idols. They would say they're not doing that.

• 21:36Duncan Trussell?

  Doesn't it say, but it says false idols. Am I wrong about that? Or does it just say idols?

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:42Kurt Metzger?

  Don't worship the creation instead of the creator.

• 21:44Duncan Trussell?

  Look up and see if it says false idols or just don't worship idols. Cause I might be in a little bit of trouble.

• 21:49Kurt Metzger?

  Don't worship creation, worship the creator.

• 21:51Duncan Trussell?

  I have so many real idols.

• 21:53Kurt Metzger?

  Like what?

• 21:54Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 21:55Kurt Metzger?

  Hunter S. Thompson, I ruined that one and I'm sorry.

• 21:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you fucked that one up.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  American Idol.

• 21:58Duncan Trussell?

  Elvis.

• 21:59Kurt Metzger?

  I think Hunter S. Thompson, gonzo journalism, just him lying.

• 22:03Duncan Trussell?

  It's craven images.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  What Bible?

• 22:05Duncan Trussell?

  You shall, from here, here.

• 22:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, craven image. It doesn't say false.

• 22:08Duncan Trussell?

  Shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar. Oh shit. I read it wrong. And you shall not set up a figured stone. Ooh.

• 22:17Kurt Metzger?

  But you don't understand back in the day, yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  The key thing that there is, is the word worship. And that's what differentiates Catholics and Protestants really is they think praise and worship is like guitars and all this. Like worship involves sacrifice. So sacrificing the Old Testament was slaughtering a lamb or a ram or anything like that. And Jesus is the ultimate high priest. He's the victim. You don't need to kill any animals anymore. You don't need to, to, to do that kind of sacrifice. He's supposed to be the last sacrifice. He's, he's the ultimate sacrifice. That's what the mass.

• 22:47Kurt Metzger?

  Well, actually, Jesus is supposed to be the last sacrifice. I, I, what I'm saying is now worship, cause there's a billion idols. I, if we tried, so when I was telling, uh, DeRosa about what a piece of shit Spielberg is, he, he, he can't let go of Indiana Jones. Uh, which I don't even understand how it's connected. It's like.

• 23:03Duncan Trussell?

  You mean he keeps making them?

• 23:06Kurt Metzger?

  No, like Joe, like.

• 23:07Duncan Trussell?

  I heard DeRosa can't.

• 23:08Kurt Metzger?

  Some bad, dark shit involving a lot of other bad, dark shit, I say. But DeRosa don't even want to hear any of it because he likes some movies the guy made. Or where people are like, they think Michael Jackson was framed or whatever dumb shit. And I'm like, I'm sure Michael Jackson was treated unfairly and also some things probably shouldn't have happened, happened. But it's because they made an idol of him. In fact, we have a show called American Idol. Where you make an idol.

• 23:31Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 23:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't.

• 23:33Kurt Metzger?

  Hollywood star. I mean, it's the most Luciferian thing I've ever heard.

• 23:37Duncan Trussell?

  So what, but so basically you're saying Catholics draw a distinction between relics and idols because you're not killing animals.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  That's why we're not married worshippers either. There's a Latin word out.

• 23:47Duncan Trussell?

  That's what he calls you.

• 23:48Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I say, I say the Templars brought meat worship, AKA, oh, legal, don't they? Some idol worship, AKA, uh, the, the mother of heaven, which is, uh, Asherah, which is specifically forbade. The Templars brought it back. They hooked up with Sufis when they went over there. They started using John the Baptist's fucking head as a Ouija board. I mean, what?

• 24:09Duncan Trussell?

  Is that true?

• 24:10Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's their words. I don't know what they did, but it's great.

• 24:12Duncan Trussell?

  Seems like a cumbersome plan shit.

• 24:14Kurt Metzger?

  It's supposed to be in Turkey to this day. Um, but a reliquary always has a head of a saint or something, right?

• 24:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. So it, it would be, the, the, the mass was celebrated and it still is in, in a lot of the altars in Europe. They have like the bones of a saint. But that doesn't mean you're, you're worshiping that. It's, you know, the, the early church was underground. It was the catacombs. It was Roman persecution and it's a way to remember. So we're coming up on All Saints Day.

• 24:40Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that is very interesting. Would you say they were going in under, so like Vatican is, uh, named after Vatican. It's on top of those underground tombs where was Peter is supposed to be there?

• 24:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, Peter's there.

• 24:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. So you're saying that they worship in those underground areas of Rome?

• 24:54Speaker 04

  They celebrate, yeah, they were underground, but the altars are on, they have a relic inside the altar. So you're celebrating mass on top of the bones of a, of a saint because a saint, a saint is anyone that's been sanctified. That's what it comes from.

• 25:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 25:07Speaker 04

  So it's anyone that's in heaven. So they're just a good example.

• 25:10Kurt Metzger?

  Like how, do you know how they have the Pope declare, like Mother Teresa, who I, I don't think was that great, but people liked her so.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  She's, she's in heaven. So she did something right. She was okay. You know what I mean?

• 25:20Kurt Metzger?

  Well, they rushed, even if I was going to be really Catholic about it, let's be Catholic about it. They rushed that whole, they're like, yeah, I think it's miracle. They, they rushed that process. I remember when it was going on at the time. Cause Sean Hannity was demanding it and all these other people. And, um, it's like, why would that be up to the Pope? Or why would it be up to the Pope if there is a, um, what's the purgatory? Why would that be up to the Pope?

• 25:41Speaker 04

  So it's not up to the Pope. It's, uh, I forget the verse. I'm not a Protestant. I can't quote that well, but.

• 25:46Speaker 05

  Priceline negotiator. It's me, the Priceline negotiator. We don't need the jingle twice. What about a third time? Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights and rental cars. Seems like they just started. Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app. Time to read the timeline. Fine. No one deals more deals than. Priceline. Please stop. Priceline. Touche. Priceline.

• 26:16Speaker 00

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• 26:46Speaker 04

  You know, nothing unclean will enter heaven. So you, I, I think the purgatory is like summer school. If you don't get your stuff together now, like you're going to have to make up for it.

• 26:54Kurt Metzger?

  He didn't say there's no purgatory, right? Or he did?

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Who didn't?

• 26:56Kurt Metzger?

  The Pope. Remember when they came out and said they changed it?

• 26:58Duncan Trussell?

  You can't just go and say there's no purgatory.

• 26:59Kurt Metzger?

  It was big news when it happened.

• 27:01Duncan Trussell?

  How can you just say that?

• 27:02Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. Which, which Pope said this? Put in, I, I could be misremembering it poorly. So keep that in mind.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. Let's just say that a Pope did say that. That wouldn't change the reality.

• 27:11Kurt Metzger?

  Um, yeah.

• 27:12Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 27:13Kurt Metzger?

  Pope and purgatory, just put that because.

• 27:15Duncan Trussell?

  So Pope could come out and say, guys, I, I, there's no heaven. That doesn't mean there's no heaven.

• 27:21Speaker 04

  And we don't have to believe that. And he can misspeak on an airplane as sometimes they do with a microphone. It doesn't, we don't, we're not bound for that.

• 27:28Kurt Metzger?

  Don't close this stupid AI. Keep going, keep going.

• 27:30Duncan Trussell?

  This is one thing I think people misunderstand about Catholics is they think you guys like, like the Pope is like an Ayatollah.

• 27:38Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. The Pope abandons Limbo. Well, I didn't know none of this shit.

• 27:43Duncan Trussell?

  Limbo is gone, not purgatory.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  United Church of, he doesn't like that kind of parties where you go all the way back and.

• 27:48Kurt Metzger?

  When you, yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Doesn't like having fun?

• 27:50Kurt Metzger?

  How low? Yeah. Well, it just sounds, but doesn't that just sound like Hades?

• 27:55Duncan Trussell?

  I hate Limbo.

• 27:56Kurt Metzger?

  It sounds like the Greek Hades hit Limbo.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Too tall for Limbo. Can't do it.

• 27:58Kurt Metzger?

  Right. It's like gloomy. It's not like hell, but it's like a gloomy place that they don't like.

• 28:02Duncan Trussell?

  Didn't the Catholic Church do away with purgatory?

• 28:03Kurt Metzger?

  So this is what I thought. What year is that?

• 28:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, we pray for, I mean, we're coming up on, uh, All Saints Day, All Souls Day. We're, we pray for the souls in purgatory because they can't pray for themselves. There's a whole like hierarchy of like heaven can pray for us.

• 28:15Kurt Metzger?

  I'm making a movie about it called The Purg. Oh, look at that. Wait a minute. New evidence has come in.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 28:22Duncan Trussell?

  What is that? That doesn't remind me of Jesus.

• 28:24Kurt Metzger?

  Now, you tell me how that face would be imprinted on there. Duncan?

• 28:27Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. I believe it. I'm not like you. I don't spit in the face of every great thing.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  Is that you though? Who's, I can't recognize. So that's always been there for 2000 years.

• 28:37Kurt Metzger?

  Look deep in the eyes.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Turns out, yeah.

• 28:39Kurt Metzger?

  Alfredo.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  Carlos interrupto after all.

• 28:41Kurt Metzger?

  Ah.

• 28:42Duncan Trussell?

  That, you were shrouded?

• 28:44Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I couldn't afford it, but I had a patron.

• 28:47Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God. Can we pull up a picture of one of those saints skulls?

• 28:51Kurt Metzger?

  Peter Astilicus paid for my.

• 28:53Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up a saint, a saint skull?

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Have you had that injury since then? Is that what happened after the?

• 28:58Kurt Metzger?

  No, this was having my mind fucking expanded. Oh, that's awesome.

• 29:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that's incredible.

• 29:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, that's fucking great.

• 29:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's amazing.

• 29:05Kurt Metzger?

  We need something for the Halloween one too, by the way. Just so you know, I have the new song, but I didn't have the image, but I love that.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Which is Hallow's Eve. That's a Catholic holiday, by the way. Holiday.

• 29:12Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't, that's the only one I wanted to do as a kid. I wasn't allowed to do it because it was, uh, Jehovah. So we, we couldn't do Halloween.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Oh, you can do that one. You could do St. Patrick's. You could do St. Valentine's.

• 29:22Kurt Metzger?

  Now, St. Patrick's Day commemorates the genocide of the serpent race in Ireland, uh, is what I'm told.

• 29:27Duncan Trussell?

  The serpent race?

• 29:28Kurt Metzger?

  The elf bloods. The filthy elf bloods.

• 29:29Duncan Trussell?

  You think there were reptilians out there?

• 29:31Kurt Metzger?

  No. That's not what that means. And you're being, it's not what that means.

• 29:36Duncan Trussell?

  What does it mean? You said serpent race?

• 29:38Kurt Metzger?

  That's what, uh, Freemasons call themselves, the sons of Cain. They call themselves the sons of Cain.

• 29:42Duncan Trussell?

  Freemasons call themselves the sons of Cain?

• 29:44Kurt Metzger?

  And I'll bet you got some Cain blood because if you were just a mere son of Seth, the people that come after you, hot dog, wouldn't be after you.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  But they can't eat pork, right? The Jews?

• 29:53Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 29:54Speaker 03

  I thought you were talking about the actual serpents.

• 29:56Kurt Metzger?

  The what?

• 29:57Speaker 03

  The actual serpents, right? There's no serpents in Ireland anymore?

• 29:59Speaker 04

  No, neither.

• 30:00Kurt Metzger?

  Right. It's another one of them stories where it's like not in either or. It's a yes and, but what they did was Saint Patrick comes in and he's clearing out the, uh, you know, the elf. That's how those people that think they're bloodline talk about it. They go, we got-

• 30:11Speaker 04

  The Druids?

• 30:12Kurt Metzger?

  The Devers, the Dragon Court. It's all this French shit and, and you know, the Mary Magdalene thing, well, you've seen Dan Brown horse shit where they go to France and, Josephine Mathia, I don't know if he spirits her away or gets them out of there or something. You know the story?

• 30:27Speaker 04

  I, I just know Dan Brown. I mean, I wouldn't-

• 30:29Kurt Metzger?

  Dan Brown's a shit, like a really bad version of it. I don't think the story is true. But I think that it has justified a lot of shit for a lot of people for a very long time.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  It's true. Magdalene ended up in, in France. She's from Magda Magdala, but then in France they called her Magdalen.

• 30:46Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  That's where the, like Madeline.

• 30:48Kurt Metzger?

  So meanwhile, you got the Templinites bringing back the divine feminine, right? Which is a principle that was not really in the early Christianity of Paul, a guy I'm-

• 30:56Speaker 04

  They like Eve. Or no, no, they like-

• 30:58Kurt Metzger?

  They, they tried to elevate Mary Magdalene to Mary. They tried to make all these-

• 31:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, there was some weird stuff.

• 31:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wasn't Mary Magdalene a prostitute?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  She was.

• 31:06Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 31:07Kurt Metzger?

  Why did you say that? There was not, there's no evidence she was prostitute.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  She had seven demons in her. She, I don't know if the word prostitute is, but she, I think she was promiscuous.

• 31:15Duncan Trussell?

  How do we know she had seven demons?

• 31:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, is that why they say she was a prostitute? Cause she had seven demons in her?

• 31:19Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no. She-

• 31:21Duncan Trussell?

  Who counts demons?

• 31:22Kurt Metzger?

  That's the perfect number.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  I'm pretty sure. I can't remember the word. I don't think the word prostitute is used, but I think she had, she had had a promiscuous past, let's just put it that way.

• 31:29Kurt Metzger?

  But how do you know that? That's on the Bible?

• 31:30Speaker 04

  It's in the Bible.

• 31:31Kurt Metzger?

  What's it say? Look it up right now, Tanner.

• 31:34Speaker 04

  I'm not a Protestant.

• 31:35Kurt Metzger?

  Don't put your Filipino Catholic bias in it either.

• 31:39Kurt Metzger?

  Have the other Tanner do it. If you can't be objective.

• 31:43Duncan Trussell?

  Look, look what they do. They did that on purpose to-

• 31:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, go to Catholic Answers.

• 31:46Kurt Metzger?

  You see what happens?

• 31:47Duncan Trussell?

  Mary Magdalene prostitute.

• 31:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, she's not prostitute. Also-

• 31:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause all the-

• 31:52Duncan Trussell?

  Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. The New Testament never described her as a sex worker. That's a point-

• 31:57Kurt Metzger?

  Pope Greg put that in.

• 31:58Duncan Trussell?

  For interruptus.

• 32:04Kurt Metzger?

  But wait, wait, let me see. Is Pope Greg, right? He assumed, oh, okay. That's interesting. Wait, wait. So she had many sins and looks out, you know, a lot of things are sins, by the way.

• 32:13Duncan Trussell?

  Woman who anointed Jesus' feet.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 32:17Kurt Metzger?

  I mean that, you know what? That sounds like a whore.

• 32:22Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 32:22Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I'll be like, hey, come here and anoint my feet.

• 32:24Duncan Trussell?

  But Mary Magdalene represents like, like anyone who ran into Jesus had a, usually they're-

• 32:29Kurt Metzger?

  We all agree women are dirty.

• 32:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, that was, I mean, Jesus for sure. He was accused of, why are you hanging out with lepers and with prostitutes?

• 32:36Duncan Trussell?

  That's part of what's cool about it. It's like-

• 32:38Kurt Metzger?

  Tax collector.

• 32:39Duncan Trussell?

  All of his friends-

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, tax collector.

• 32:40Duncan Trussell?

  Tax collectors, which is, I never understood that. Why, why did he like tax collectors?

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Why didn't people like them?

• 32:46Duncan Trussell?

  No, why did he like tax collectors?

• 32:48Speaker 04

  I don't know. He didn't like them. Like Zacchaeus? He was, he climbed that tree and he said, hey, like I'm going to your house today. And it was always Jesus, anytime he met with sinners, that's what a lot of people don't understand. He never validated their sin. He always told them like, go and sin no more.

• 33:01Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  So it wasn't-

• 33:02Duncan Trussell?

  Stop collecting taxes.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  Right. Yeah. Same boxes as all of you. No usury, let's say that.

• 33:08Duncan Trussell?

  He's a hippie for sure.

• 33:10Kurt Metzger?

  But usury, usury is when you charge interest on it, I thought.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  That's right. Yeah.

• 33:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  But the tax collectors were known for being corrupt.

• 33:17Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, you gotta translate this through like three, two or three languages to get the, the context is so drained out of all the Bible. And I didn't realize how interesting it was until I was older. Because of, uh, you get no context. So Abraham, when it, when God, he's God's friend, he tells him to go kill his son Isaac, right?

• 33:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:35Kurt Metzger?

  And Abraham goes and Louis had that joke about it where he's like, and you know, it was thought to me, which I don't agree with at all was, well, God gave him a son at a hundred and he can take it away if he wants. And Abraham's acknowledging that, but it's not like, what, what the point of that is. At the time, when Abraham, I don't know his name, Abram, I don't know why it changed.

• 33:52Speaker 04

  It was Abram, yeah.

• 33:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. At the time, Abram's dad probably sacrificed a brother of his. They all did that shit. They all sacrificed their kids to gods. So God was telling him to do a thing that all of them were doing at the time. And when he got there, God said, no, don't do that. I don't like that. See how it sucks? That's a very different story than I'm gonna trick you and go, eh, what? You were gonna kill-

• 34:11Speaker 04

  I don't think it was a trick and I don't know what source that, that would come-

• 34:14Kurt Metzger?

  But Abram at the time is the first guy following-

• 34:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was, cause he was, there was a promise that he'd be a father of all nations.

• 34:20Kurt Metzger?

  But this is, but so, so what I'm saying is Abram, that means Abram grew up in a pagan household where they're doing that shit.

• 34:27Duncan Trussell?

  Why was God so into-

• 34:29Kurt Metzger?

  He didn't grow up with God like that. He grew up, his family wasn't doing that. He, he converted to, to the, you know, the God of Abraham.

• 34:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:37Kurt Metzger?

  There wasn't a God of Abraham before.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  Before, I see what you're saying.

• 34:40Duncan Trussell?

  But why did God encourage so much bloody sacrifice in the beginning? And why did God change his mind? And, and, and-

• 34:48Kurt Metzger?

  He did it. You're trapped in a dimension where you have to do that because of the original sin.

• 34:52Duncan Trussell?

  But God's always-

• 34:53Kurt Metzger?

  Why women are dirty, by the way.

• 34:53Duncan Trussell?

  But God's always telling people, like at the beginning, the flood.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:57Duncan Trussell?

  God is into sacrificing and killing people. And then with the New Testament, it's like God changes his mind or something.

• 35:05Kurt Metzger?

  The flood was not, is that what you think the flood was about?

• 35:08Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 35:09Kurt Metzger?

  What do you think the flood was? A giant sacrifice?

• 35:11Duncan Trussell?

  Clearing the hard drive.

• 35:13Kurt Metzger?

  Right, but why would you need to clear the hard drive? That's a great, why would you need to do that?

• 35:17Duncan Trussell?

  Cause it was corrupted.

• 35:17Kurt Metzger?

  There you go. And how did it get corrupted?

• 35:20Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, look, you call it whatever you want. It was sacrifice. You had to sacrifice a bunch of people to make the world better.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  I don't think that was sacrifice. That was more of a chastisement and punishment.

• 35:29Duncan Trussell?

  Can I just say this? I just found out you're not supposed to do blood sacrifices anymore to pillars until I've been, I have, when I get home, you have no idea. You have no idea. You have no idea.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 35:43Duncan Trussell?

  Like it's fucked and I don't know what to do. Cause my assumption-

• 35:47Kurt Metzger?

  Who brought up Veggie Tales? Now goddamn it.

• 35:51Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pass me a white claw, please?

• 35:53Kurt Metzger?

  Sure.

• 35:53Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, you're, you're listening to Christian Round Table.

• 36:00Duncan Trussell?

  We're three scholars of, um, biblical scholars. Thank-

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Thank.

• 36:05Duncan Trussell?

  Thanks, my friend.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  That claw works well. I think this is a good time to-

• 36:08Kurt Metzger?

  Where's the claw claw?

• 36:09Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, what do you got? What's in the bag?

• 36:10Speaker 04

  I got some, some gifts for you guys.

• 36:12Duncan Trussell?

  If he pulls out a gun and kills us, it would be the best fucking thing.

• 36:16Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, hey, Mark David Chapman. Oh, that's cool. You're watching Trad Brain and the Hot Dog.

• 36:24Duncan Trussell?

  Put me on your grill.

• 36:26Speaker 04

  So we've got-

• 36:29Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wow. Cool.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Let me make sure these are right.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Hey, holy face.

• 36:35Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you. Holy cow, it's a hologram.

• 36:38Kurt Metzger?

  Will you put in the historical Jesus? I want to show that to Duncan too. Uh, yeah. Because that looks, oh, thank you.

• 36:45Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, thank you so much.

• 36:47Kurt Metzger?

  There it is. There's, look at, look at who that is, Duncan.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Oh, that's a real-

• 36:51Kurt Metzger?

  Wrong, guess who, Duncan? Look at-

• 36:53Duncan Trussell?

  What? That's you.

• 36:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Now let's look at that shroud again.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, so that's, that's a good point. They always, this meme comes up. I, I see it on my feed sometimes like, oh, this is what Jesus really looked like and it's a caveman. Uh, it's the magnets, I think.

• 37:06Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I see.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  And you each get a, uh, who is the man of the shroud booklet it has.

• 37:12Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  All our exhibit information, basically.

• 37:15Kurt Metzger?

  What I'm saying is, how do you know this is not Osama bin Laden? Because-

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Who does it look like?

• 37:21Speaker 03

  The timeline's a little bit off.

• 37:21Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like the shroud of bin Laden.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Shroud of bin Laden. Oh my god. I think it's, it's interesting.

• 37:26Kurt Metzger?

  What is the Mithra statue next to that? That's what they're trying to say Jesus was?

• 37:33Kurt Metzger?

  You see that on the left?

• 37:36Speaker 04

  Hmm, the Mithra statue?

• 37:40Duncan Trussell?

  How much do you think, like, how old is the shroud?

• 37:43Speaker 04

  So if it, if it turns out to be authentic, and I believe it's authentic, and by the way, like, like the booklet says, it's when we do exhibits and we show people, it's, we ask them the question like, who do you say that this is? Jesus asks us that question. Who do you say that is? And we don't go tell, telling people, you have to believe that, that the shroud is real. Uh, but if it is, then it would be 2,000 years old. It would be, you know, we're coming up on the anniversary of 2033, 2,000 years since-

• 38:07Kurt Metzger?

  You ever hear of a creepy ass Joshua coin?

• 38:10Duncan Trussell?

  Of what?

• 38:11Speaker 04

  Joshua coin.

• 38:12Kurt Metzger?

  Or Judas coin? Put in the golden leaf and put in Judas coin.

• 38:16Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that's weird. Like they still have the coin that Judas took?

• 38:20Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And people are like real creeps. If you're like a generational magician creep, you, you, that's a sought after fucking thing to have.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Like the silver coins that he used to create?

• 38:29Kurt Metzger?

  Now, let's say it's, let's say it's just an old fake from a long time ago, a coin right now.

• 38:33Duncan Trussell?

  It's still creepy that you want it.

• 38:34Kurt Metzger?

  It's still been imbued with horrific intention.

• 38:37Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. No way.

• 38:40Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Now I don't know what a genuine would look like. I thought it was a Drachma or something, right? Is that what he's supposedly got? But in the book to Golden Leaf, it's the Reynolds Tobacco family wrote it. They, their family had a Joshua coin or a Judas coin.

• 38:53Duncan Trussell?

  No fucking way.

• 38:54Kurt Metzger?

  The whole book's about that. And then he throws it in the water. Yeah.

• 38:56Duncan Trussell?

  That is so spooky.

• 38:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Dude, if you take a little bit of time and look at any of this shit, it's like, everything's crazier than you could imagine.

• 39:06Duncan Trussell?

  Let me ask you a question, a theological question. Something I've always struggled with.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 39:10Duncan Trussell?

  No Judas, no Jesus. Therefore Judas-

• 39:16Kurt Metzger?

  No, there would just be another guy who was Judas.

• 39:18Duncan Trussell?

  But then no that, no, no traitor, no Jesus. In other words-

• 39:22Kurt Metzger?

  Right, but Jesus says that.

• 39:24Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 39:25Kurt Metzger?

  But woe to him that does it.

• 39:26Duncan Trussell?

  But still-

• 39:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:27Kurt Metzger?

  This is a play. Well, look at it this way. Okay? There's a play. You don't have to play the part of Jud- Judas, but in life, you get to go out for the part you want a lot of times.

• 39:38Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 39:38Kurt Metzger?

  You get it? Like, so woe to the man that gets the part.

• 39:42Duncan Trussell?

  But don't you think like, like without a betray, without that kind of dark backstabbing piece of shit?

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 39:48Duncan Trussell?

  You don't get the resurrection.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  I see what you're saying. So there's, I've heard there's two things. I think Borges, who was the Argentinian author, he wrote about like, oh, kind of like Judas is the hero or something.

• 39:58Kurt Metzger?

  You hear that cabal bullshit he's trying to play?

• 39:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've heard like a lot of Jews say this. It's, it's saying like, oh, look, like he's the hero because without him, we don't get.

• 40:06Duncan Trussell?

  That's true.

• 40:07Kurt Metzger?

  If you did a sting operation on a gangster.

• 40:09Duncan Trussell?

  No Darth Vader, no Luke Skywalker.

• 40:12Kurt Metzger?

  Even George Lucas didn't push that. If you, if you're doing a sting operation on a hideous gangster, okay, because inside of some kind of revenge, this is different than a Jesus story, which is not a revenge story. Okay. This is a revenge story, but what do you like? Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, just because you did a sting on him, doesn't mean you're grateful to the guy. Every, the, the, the worst choice in every scenario is, oh, you know what? The gangster killed my family, so I went for revenge. And honestly, I'm glad he killed my family. Because I didn't want to have a family. I want to do this. That's bad. That's a bad feeling.

• 40:42Duncan Trussell?

  No, I'm, I'm, I'm pointing more towards the divine plan.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, the divine plan. Like we needed someone like that.

• 40:47Duncan Trussell?

  It requires evil.

• 40:48Kurt Metzger?

  That just means I anticipated what you were going to choose in my plan. I already knew you were always a hot dog. You're going to do hot dog things.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  So.

• 40:56Kurt Metzger?

  I hope you won't do hot dog things, but you will.

• 40:58Duncan Trussell?

  No, I will do hot dog things and you're never going to stop me. I like to do.

• 41:02Kurt Metzger?

  God shouldn't have had to send Jesus in the fucking first place is the issue. So the only way we have Jesus is a rescue mission because of the first bitch doing a thing she shouldn't have done. So now, and then her dumb shit, then her dumb shit simp husband going along with her. So that led us into a prison. It's like being born in prison.

• 41:19Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 41:19Kurt Metzger?

  Not to be gnostic. I'm not gnostic. However, you're, the, the devil owns the world is the story.

• 41:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 41:26Kurt Metzger?

  He owns the kingdoms of the earth. Why did God want blood? Well, the God of the world wants blood. That's called the devil. He wants blood.

• 41:32Duncan Trussell?

  Who made the devil?

• 41:34Speaker 04

  The devil's a creature. He's, you know.

• 41:35Kurt Metzger?

  God made a guy that became that.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  They all had free will. Is that what we're getting at? They all had free will to do it. It's not like, it's not like God made him to do this.

• 41:42Duncan Trussell?

  But God did make the devil.

• 41:43Kurt Metzger?

  No, no. There was a difference. But he wasn't called the devil when he fucking made him.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Right. It was.

• 41:47Kurt Metzger?

  You understand that?

• 41:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but God's omnipotent, so he knew he was going to be the devil.

• 41:50Kurt Metzger?

  You still get free will. And you know what? I'm omnipotent when I write a script.

• 41:54Duncan Trussell?

  If you're omnipotent, where's free will?

• 41:57Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, you, you never wrote a script in your life?

• 41:59Duncan Trussell?

  No, I'm saying if God wrote.

• 42:00Kurt Metzger?

  You never wrote a fucking script?

• 42:02Duncan Trussell?

  Sure. And you write in the character.

• 42:03Kurt Metzger?

  All the characters are an aspect of you. However, however, you begin to have a collaboration with the characters you write. If you're a writer who's any good, and I imagine the greatest writer, AKA God, would be really good at that. So no, that's gnostic, stupid, dualistic, fucking queef bullshit, typical from a fucking hot dog, and you're making me sigh with fucking Mary worshippers and I resent it.

• 42:27Kurt Metzger?

  And now I.

• 42:27Duncan Trussell?

  Geez, don't need to get so defensive, man.

• 42:32Duncan Trussell?

  I'm just saying God made the devil.

• 42:34Kurt Metzger?

  That's why I haven't had it.

• 42:35Duncan Trussell?

  That's also my favorite.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Is that because you were wearing the, is that because you were wearing the crown of thorns there? It seems like that.

• 42:41Duncan Trussell?

  God did make.

• 42:41Kurt Metzger?

  I was looking. I bet that was a red.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Carlos and Durco was in the shroud there.

• 42:47Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, I guess.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  We have a decision. We can, we can follow or not follow. Because love has to be free. He wants us to love.

• 42:52Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, I'm on board. I go to mass every Sunday, but what I like about Catholics is, is it, contrary to.

• 43:00Kurt Metzger?

  More like ass.

• 43:00Duncan Trussell?

  Contrary to popular, contrary to popular opinion, you guys do let yourselves think about this stuff in ways that are seemingly blasphemous.

• 43:12Kurt Metzger?

  The hell is that?

• 43:13Speaker 03

  Kirk, one thing real quick. Do you think, um, Jesus is basically like God writing himself into the script? If we're talking about him being like the ultimate author?

• 43:20Kurt Metzger?

  I think Jesus is God's son. I would be what's called an A R I A N, now the Y with an I, an Arianist, because it's just how I was raised, which is that God and his son are separate people. Uh, it's his son. Um, or, or like.

• 43:34Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah. You don't believe in the Trinity.

• 43:36Kurt Metzger?

  Right. And, but the tri- look, just to be clear, just to be clear, I, I, the Trinity could be what it is. I don't give a shit if he's got three heads or one head. I don't care. Why would that? Why would any salvation be contingent on believing one or the other? I don't see it. Um, the way I was taught, which could be wrong, is that Christ is the one interceding. So. Cause otherwise, I asked Jay Diya this, who's an orthodox.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  Oh, you've talked to him?

• 44:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's great. I'm great.

• 44:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, Jesus was smart. But I go, and James McCann, a comic we know who's a Catholic, who had a better answer. But I go, so you're telling me that God got his mom pregnant with himself is your story? And Jay was like, well, and he, he didn't have a good answer. I'm just going to put it that way. It's on the episode. Uh, James McCann just went, yes. James McCann's a better answer because he's, the old Doctor Who with Tom Baker, the best Doctor Who. They asked him how he could be on his cheap sci-fi show and sell it so well? And he goes, because I'm a Catholic. If you could believe that, you could believe anything. And that's why he was the best of all the Doctor Who actors, because he had that. James McCann is like, I'm all in. I don't give a fuck.

• 44:44Kurt Metzger?

  So that's kind of weird because with the shroud, it's like, how would any of my faith be contingent on this relic? Like, other than a curiosity.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Let me say two things. So, because you brought up, uh, this is the perfect moment to bring this up. This is, we're not feediest and we're not pure rationalist. We're Catholic.

• 45:00Kurt Metzger?

  What's the, wait, was the thediistic? I don't know.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Feedism is blind faith. So if I use an example, for example, let's say you're getting married. So blind faith would, would be, I, I've, I don't know anything about the person I'm marrying, but I just hope that it's all going to work out. I, I have faith that it's going to work out.

• 45:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  Your faith is blind because you're not basing it on any substantial reasons at all.

• 45:19Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 45:19Speaker 04

  Purely rationalistic would be, I will not get married until I can guarantee that everything's going to work out and that every little thing is perfect.

• 45:26Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  So these people are paralyzed. We're Catholic, which is faith and reason, fidus et ratio, they work together.

• 45:33Kurt Metzger?

  Now, Duncan, to get into how you like to be a Hindu about it, that's where the Mary worship comes, because they, the divine feminine masculine, so you got a right brain, left brain, right? What he just described as an ideal, I'm paraphrasing you, is the balance between your masculine feminine sides of.

• 45:48Duncan Trussell?

  I like it.

• 45:49Kurt Metzger?

  Personality. So I understand like the framework of it, of how certain things are like, because you want to have the balance. And that's why. Like real smarty pants Catholics are the best people to talk to. You know Tom Chalou?

• 46:00Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 46:01Kurt Metzger?

  Tom Chalou, you know, comic?

• 46:02Speaker 04

  You talked to Bishop Barron recently, and that's what I'm saying. It's like.

• 46:04Duncan Trussell?

  He's amazing.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  We're, we're a lot, we don't have to check our brain at the door.

• 46:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no, the, it's just the laity do. The clergy, hey, I talked to all kinds of priests. They're delightful, intellectual types. The laity I'm talking about.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Well, we need better catechism. We, in the sixties, we're not that great, but we, the Bible in a year, Father Mike Schmitz, we have a lot of people are becoming Catholic, uh, in France and other places, like record baptisms.

• 46:28Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I'll bet it's the end times in there, my, hey, wait, oh, you know, you just reminded me, dude.

• 46:32Duncan Trussell?

  Do you think it's the end times?

• 46:34Kurt Metzger?

  No, I, I also want to ask about, because there, there's this orthodox revival, not, I'm not including Jay Diya in this. I think he's just an orthodox Christian.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  And I like him. He's great.

• 46:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And he, his wife's cool too, and they got good books that I recommend. Uh, Dirk with Kirk episode, you can find what me, anyway. There's it, when you say to Tartaria and all this other stuff, we had Dr. Heather Lynn on talking about it. Um, and the, the Satan's little season thing, which I have never seen pushed in my entire lifetime until just now, which is that we're in the little season when. So for that to be possible, it means there was a real, like Christ kingdom was on earth for a thousand years. And I think they're trying to say Byzantium is that?

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't, I don't know.

• 47:16Kurt Metzger?

  Which can't come on.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:17Duncan Trussell?

  Satan's little season is spooky though.

• 47:19Kurt Metzger?

  That was our old man. It was spooky. First of all, he's dressed like a hot dog. People are like, what the fuck?

• 47:23Duncan Trussell?

  Well, yeah, but people.

• 47:25Kurt Metzger?

  It was before the Epstein.

• 47:25Duncan Trussell?

  If you know, you know. If you have eyes to see, you will see what this means.

• 47:31Kurt Metzger?

  Look into the eyes of young Kirk.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Did I see your name there when I was scrolling through the, through the Epstein file?

• 47:38Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, oh my, yes. I popped right up. Anyone is relevant.

• 47:41Duncan Trussell?

  He is in the file.

• 47:42Speaker 04

  Is he really?

• 47:42Speaker 03

  I thought I saw that, yeah.

• 47:44Kurt Metzger?

  So is Big Jay. So is, uh, Joe DeRosa. Are you in? No. We were on a Comedy Central stand-up show.

• 47:50Speaker 04

  I'm not in the club.

• 47:51Kurt Metzger?

  And someone invited, I do a bit about it because it makes me laugh, like someone invited, we don't know who, because it's been blacked out for national security reasons.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  I'm sure it is, yeah.

• 47:59Kurt Metzger?

  You can never know that or it would end this country. If you knew who invited Jeffrey for a night of comedy on his birthday.

• 48:05Duncan Trussell?

  Who?

• 48:05Kurt Metzger?

  We don't know. And if you do know, keep it D S L. Because America's on the, it's back to the wall right now with gas prices. So anyway, uh, I have a whole joke about it because it makes me laugh because I'm like, you know, it doesn't mean I did anything wrong, but look, even if I did, what would you fucking pussies do about it?

• 48:23Duncan Trussell?

  They've got swords.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  We got swords.

• 48:25Duncan Trussell?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 48:26Kurt Metzger?

  You see any fucking vigilante or police action for the Epstein? No, you don't. You don't. So everybody can talk shit they want, but like, to me, the Epstein files should be the end of America itself. I, everybody's a bitch here. That's why they're all going on like it's fine, but never mind aliens landing. You just got disclosure of the craziest shit I've ever heard in my lifetime. And I'm watching every punk on this fucking, except me and one black guy at that airport in Atlanta, who I wish I could get on the show. Who's screaming at everyone like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

• 48:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 48:58Kurt Metzger?

  So there you go. And so let me tell you, the real appeal of Jesus is that is like one guy who's definitely right.

• 49:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:06Kurt Metzger?

  And he's just gonna be, and he's right.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  He's the antidote to this whole thing is maybe you can't change the system. You can't change all, but you can change yourself. You can

• 49:13Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  baptize, get in the church.

• 49:14Kurt Metzger?

  Now you hear the hermetic aspect of that? Not that they would call it that, or I'm into hermeticism, but it's, there's still a thing that's a theme that is common, which is, but I, I don't think it's invalid. I'm just saying the, pull the rapture out of your own eye. Jesus says to the guy.

• 49:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:28Kurt Metzger?

  You know, before you pick the splint out of your brother's eyes, if you are acting like even Gandhi said it, in fact, most of the Hindu gurus will tell you, will do what Jesus said.

• 49:37Duncan Trussell?

  By the way, what you just said

• 49:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 49:39Duncan Trussell?

  would fix the internet. If like every, everyone could discard all of Christianity, but if they just adhered to that one recommendation, which is, why don't you deal with your own shit before you start getting into someone else's shit?

• 49:53Kurt Metzger?

  I'm joking. That's

• 49:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 49:54Duncan Trussell?

  You know what I mean? That, that alone, like if you, if you look at some of the recommendations and you apply just one of them to society, society instantly improves.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I would, I would, I would caveat that by saying that a lot of people want to do like social work, like UN, like kind of volunteering all that.

• 50:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the UN is fucking

• 50:16Speaker 04

  Without Christ, basically, you take away the whole point.

• 50:19Duncan Trussell?

  How so?

• 50:20Speaker 04

  Because we're made by him and for him. Everything

• 50:25Duncan Trussell?

  Can I stop you? I'm gonna push back on this one.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 50:27Duncan Trussell?

  So I'm some starving kid.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:31Duncan Trussell?

  And a UN worker comes to me with a bag of rice. I'm not gonna be like, did Jesus tell you to bring me rice?

• 50:36Speaker 04

  No, no. What did Jesus say? He said, if you fed me or if you clothed me, like anytime you did that to, to the least of them, like you did it to me.

• 50:42Duncan Trussell?

  But if your point is if you're doing social work without Jesus, it becomes somewhat

• 50:46Speaker 04

  I'm saying it could, it leads to pride, like it leads to saying, look, like we don't need

• 50:49Duncan Trussell?

  So what? The boy gets rice.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  We're not consequentialists. We're not about like the outcome.

• 50:54Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, I got news for both of you nerds.

• 50:56Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 50:57Kurt Metzger?

  You call it whatever you want. It turns out the same problems happen whether you call it Christian or you don't call it Christian. In fact, you know, the reason I grew up a Jehovah's Witness is because my mom grew up a disillusioned Catholic.

• 51:09Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. She converted to Jehovah's

• 51:12Kurt Metzger?

  And my aunt, who looks just like my mom, converted to Harry Cre- my uncle is the lawyer for that religion.

• 51:17Duncan Trussell?

  This is why we're friends. I almost became a Harry Christian. My wife's Catholic.

• 51:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's my cousins were, grew up in that.

• 51:23Duncan Trussell?

  So cool.

• 51:24Kurt Metzger?

  And, and honestly, God dude, and we get along very well. Like it's, I, my mom, her sister look like twins. They're not, but they look like they're twins. But they're both disillusioned Catholics in a certain time period that find like friends. So just like now, you have like this upheaval and people looking for, and so you'll see people returning to like Catholicism.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:44Kurt Metzger?

  So people do different things. They go, I want to find a thing. They want to find it. They're like, oh, the thing I had, I had as a kid was right.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 51:50Kurt Metzger?

  But this is an unfreezing of your, if I was the, uh, one of the lizards running the world, that this would be a traumatizing time to unfreeze your set ways. And I would use stupid language like, oh, everyone's ascending and we're moving into a different whatever. Because right now, the crisis, the instability creates a lot of free agency in the mind. Okay. So it's like a, a open market, like people are just grabbing mental real estate right and left with stuff.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  I would say that we would have to go with whatever's true. Like I, I don't know about you guys.

• 52:20Kurt Metzger?

  Go with

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Objective truth, you know?

• 52:22Kurt Metzger?

  So, and so you could, right. So my thing is

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Figure that out, yeah.

• 52:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, love and light. Well, what, um, what about the truth? I would like to know the truth. If you really love me, I, I feel like you would be telling me the truth, you know?

• 52:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:33Kurt Metzger?

  That's a number one part. So

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Tough love.

• 52:35Kurt Metzger?

  The truth. And, and that's the thing, dude. If you think about that Adam Eve story, whatever the actual story is, the story of the first lie, that's really fucking interesting because that's the basis of magic. The first magic, I want to alter reality with my very will.

• 52:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, it was the, the lies of the devil. You'll be as great as God. All that. I get it.

• 52:58Kurt Metzger?

  Well, oh,

• 52:59Duncan Trussell?

  What do they say?

• 52:59Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. I mean, I mean that there's a house of cards of lies.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Just like God. You'll be God.

• 53:04Duncan Trussell?

  And then his false promises.

• 53:05Kurt Metzger?

  Listen, listen, there's a house of cards of lies that all of civilization rests on, that if you read that Genesis story, it tells you, we forget all the little stupid details. It might, might sound dumb. Somebody lied and no one was telling lies like that, but, and not a lie, that's a full lie, but like a

• 53:21Speaker 04

  It's a half truth.

• 53:22Kurt Metzger?

  Which is a lie.

• 53:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 53:24Kurt Metzger?

  So based on that, then think about your country or you, whatever it is that you think is very special or your church or your family. Is it based on lies? Well, then you know, you got a fucking problem.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:35Kurt Metzger?

  And, and

• 53:36Speaker 04

  So who's the one who said, I am the way, the truth and the life? I would say that, for example, if we could not be Gnostics and say, Jesus of Nazareth existed, right? He's a historical figure.

• 53:46Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not Gnostic.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  Good, good, good. That's the first step. Then you would have to say, answer the question, like, did he die?

• 53:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Historically, Jesus of Nazareth, was he, did he die?

• 53:55Kurt Metzger?

  If you're gonna be in the religion, you gotta say he died and not, so we had Daryl James, uh, veteran of the secret space program. I remember. I remember his commanding officer, because they had that looking glass. I'm just

• 54:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 54:05Kurt Metzger?

  Not telling you whether it's true. I'm just telling you the story. Uh, and he said, uh, no, yeah, Jesus lived and his, uh, he, they had a kid, he had three kids. And as soon as I heard that, um, because I'm listening for little details in these stories, as soon as I heard that, I'm like, okay, I know what the fuck this is. So that's, you, that's how you know, by the way, Templars are connected to the programming done on Daryl James. Jesus has to have died if the religion's valid. If he didn't die, Christianity is in fucking valid.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  If he didn't rise, it's invalid, but he, he historically, both of you, he need to die and rise.

• 54:36Kurt Metzger?

  So if you want, you don't have to believe it, but I'm telling you, if you want to be like, I'm a Christian for it to work out. And the reason it has to be that way is because you're born in a goddamn Saturn cube. Okay. And the only thing that free, and a thing, you're born in a, a thing where you have to keep feeding it blood. The, the God of the world, you gotta feed blood.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  So

• 54:55Kurt Metzger?

  Right? And, and Christ is the reason you don't have to give it any more blood. If, if you don't believe in nothing else about it, but you're into it, stop feeding the beast blood. They, you, they made a deal somewhere along the line where we all gotta feed blood to this thing. And Christ was like, because they fucked up and collected a bill that wasn't due on one guy who might've been, you know, God. That means now you're not in that debt that they wanted to have you born in.

• 55:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, man.

• 55:21Kurt Metzger?

  And it was a thing done in accordance with the rules of the maniac that rules the world. Not God. Do you understand?

• 55:28Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's why God had to have a Judas and all those stupid fucking things people say is because you don't live in God's world. You live in the adversary of mankind's world, Satan.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  But we do pray thy kingdom come, like on, on earth as it is in heaven. So we, we want the kingdom to be, the kingdom of God is already here. It's just not as it is in heaven.

• 55:46Duncan Trussell?

  My Catholic friend.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  This is a battle.

• 55:48Duncan Trussell?

  Let me give a really irrational, maybe irrational, non-complex experience.

• 55:56Kurt Metzger?

  You're watching non-complex hot dog.

• 55:57Duncan Trussell?

  When I go to, when I go to mass, I experience something that I've never experienced before.

• 56:06Kurt Metzger?

  Are you dressed as a hot dog? Because I can explain.

• 56:08Duncan Trussell?

  They won't let me, which by itself is really weird. Cause you know, you get to be my age, you think you've felt everything.

• 56:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:15Duncan Trussell?

  And then that, whatever that thing is, I really don't care about all the other bullshit. Like it makes me not care about this stuff or the complexities of it, or the math, or you need Jesus, Judas to get Jesus, or this or that, or all of those things kind of dissolve into some kind of like, everything becomes very mysterious.

• 56:37Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, go back, go back. Put that back, put that back.

• 56:40Duncan Trussell?

  Everything becomes very mysterious, understandable.

• 56:44Kurt Metzger?

  I just felt something.

• 56:45Duncan Trussell?

  Shut up. Wait, hold on. Everything becomes very understandable for me.

• 56:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:50Duncan Trussell?

  And beautiful in, in a way that I haven't experienced.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:53Duncan Trussell?

  And it makes all of this stuff seem secondary.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I agree. Well, that's why God is first. I would say you're supposed to have this divine experience. It's the Eucharist. God is there literally, maybe you don't believe that yet, but he's there. If, I would recommend anybody

• 57:08Kurt Metzger?

  It's not the Miquehrist.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  It's the

• 57:10Duncan Trussell?

  The what?

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Not the Miquehrist, the Eucharist. Eucharistia. Yeah. It's, it's, we, Catholics, maybe you know already, we, we literally believe that Jesus is in, in the bread, in the host.

• 57:20Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta do the old X.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:23Duncan Trussell?

  I can't eat it.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  You get the blessing.

• 57:24Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta go up there like that.

• 57:25Kurt Metzger?

  Look at, look at this, um,

• 57:26Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, let him finish his point.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Just this last point. Yeah. Just a mystery for mystery boys would be if you've, are you familiar with Eucharistic miracles? Have you, have you heard about those? Because Jesus told, he shows us sometimes, like we, there are those who believe without seeing and, and they have good reasons too, because he said, but there have been times where the host actually has blood on it and they've tested that blood scientifically and

• 57:49Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 57:50Speaker 04

  You can look into, if you just look up, you look up

• 57:52Duncan Trussell?

  I'm gonna be honest, if they gave me the, the wafer and they have blood on it, I'm not eating it.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. And yet it's weird because, I mean, that is a weird thing about Catholics. We literally believe we're drinking our Lord and Savior.

• 58:04Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean? There's no transubstantiation?

• 58:08Duncan Trussell?

  But you would

• 58:08Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean?

• 58:09Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, you would call it cannibalism, right?

• 58:12Speaker 04

  I don't think I would use that word, but I see why you would think that. Yeah, like you're eating.

• 58:16Duncan Trussell?

  If Jesus was a human, and that's his flesh.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  He said some gnaw on his flesh, yeah.

• 58:19Duncan Trussell?

  So it's cannibalism.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  Well, if it gives me eternal life, then sure, I'll take it.

• 58:23Duncan Trussell?

  You'll eat flesh. You're the guy. You know what? You can eat my body if you need to.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  I don't need hot dogs.

• 58:28Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, literally, they didn't eat him.

• 58:31Duncan Trussell?

  I'm a hot dog. He just like, guys, eat me. That's what we're here for.

• 58:35Kurt Metzger?

  Jesus literally, right? I mean, in any rendition of that story.

• 58:39Duncan Trussell?

  But in the transubstant- this is, we're talking about Catholic doctrine.

• 58:43Kurt Metzger?

  You don't think maybe a metaphor is getting muddled?

• 58:45Duncan Trussell?

  Catholic doctrine.

• 58:46Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, let's say, let's say that that didn't happen. Transubstant- let's just say it didn't happen.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  Sure, okay.

• 58:51Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 58:52Kurt Metzger?

  The metaphor doesn't still work?

• 58:53Speaker 04

  No, I would say to hell with it if it doesn't, if it's not real.

• 58:56Duncan Trussell?

  He wants to eat the god's flesh.

• 58:58Kurt Metzger?

  But you don't understand how meta- dude, the holographic principle, if you want to be scientific, or the hermetic principle, if you want to be a fairy, okay? The, when you break a hologram plate, the smallest piece of it has the hole in it.

• 59:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 59:10Kurt Metzger?

  So that's what all these creeps that do shit to kids are. They're like, they think they're stabbing God. Do you understand?

• 59:16Speaker 04

  I see what, yeah.

• 59:17Kurt Metzger?

  So, so what I'm saying is, since that principle is a, and there's something to it, there's not nothing to it.

• 59:23Duncan Trussell?

  There's something to it.

• 59:24Kurt Metzger?

  And the point of Jesus was to stop shedding blood and whatever, like, uh, uh, does it have to be like stranger in a strange land? I don't think that it does.

• 59:32Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 59:32Kurt Metzger?

  To have the same effect.

• 59:34Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean stranger in a strange land? Grok?

• 59:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 59:36Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 59:37Kurt Metzger?

  If you grok what I'm saying?

• 59:38Duncan Trussell?

  At Grokia.

• 59:39Kurt Metzger?

  You get, you grok.

• 59:39Duncan Trussell?

  At Grokia.

• 59:40Kurt Metzger?

  There, that's a guy doing a Gnostic Jesus bit where he's actually like, cause uh, in the book, I forget the guy's name, but um, you know, he starts a hippie cult and they uh, when he gets killed, they, cause cats eat like they're dead young or something and Martians think like cats. So everybody's, oh, this soup is really good. They're doing like, and it's supposed to be like a clever commentator, but I don't think it's a clever commentator in a Last Supper. I think he's representing a thing at the Last Supper, cause the whole point is to not feed blood to the goddamn beast. With a perfect, the perfect sting operation happens. Everybody owes a bill just cause you live here for some fucking reason and because, you know, is there a rock so big God can't move it? That kind of logic?

• 1:00:24Kurt Metzger?

  So God playing by the rules of this world sends in a thing to make you not have to be subject to it, that Satan, the adversary, not of God, but of you.

• 1:00:34Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 1:00:35Speaker 04

  I mean, why else would he?

• 1:00:36Kurt Metzger?

  Would never see coming because he's a creation like you're a creation.

• 1:00:38Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 1:00:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. He, he took the sins of the world upon his head. Why, I mean, we're looking at the crown of thorns like.

• 1:00:44Kurt Metzger?

  Right. There's a bill that gets passed down. Everybody's like, who's gonna pay, like the deficit?

• 1:00:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:49Kurt Metzger?

  The deficit's almost the original sin in a metaphorical sense. Now, I'm not saying it is the original sin.

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  Jesus is the new Adam.

• 1:00:54Kurt Metzger?

  Like the host or the, but, but you see the metaphor?

• 1:00:57Speaker 04

  Yes, I do.

• 1:00:57Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, Jesus is the what?

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  The new Adam. And Mary is the new Eve. So Mary obeyed where Eve disobeyed.

• 1:01:03Kurt Metzger?

  That is what explains a lot of Italian guys.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:01:08Kurt Metzger?

  And Mary's the new Eve. I, I don't want to get into the Oedipus parts of that, but that is weird as shit. Jesus is the new Adam.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  Yes, and Mary's the new Eve.

• 1:01:16Kurt Metzger?

  His mom is the new wife of Adam.

• 1:01:19Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I see what you're saying.

• 1:01:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you see how it could cause.

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:23Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, gen- like Italian guys that live with their mom till they're thirty and then.

• 1:01:29Kurt Metzger?

  That was the original guy that don't move out was some Italian guy, cause he's not married. So he's out banging, but you can't leave your mama's house till you have a new, yeah.

• 1:01:37Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can you talk?

• 1:01:37Kurt Metzger?

  That's Catholic.

• 1:01:38Duncan Trussell?

  Can you, can you talk about, I would guess that weird shit probably happens around the shroud of Turin.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:01:47Duncan Trussell?

  Can you talk about some events that have happened around it?

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  Weren't you just telling me that uh, um, people have tried to use like the, cause this, I, I feel like this might be like my last public appearance like ever.

• 1:01:57Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Well, I think.

• 1:01:58Duncan Trussell?

  It's that bad a podcast?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  No, you were, you were just, you were just telling me.

• 1:02:01Kurt Metzger?

  A lot of people do say that.

• 1:02:02Duncan Trussell?

  That's the most intense.

• 1:02:03Kurt Metzger?

  Wouldn't be the first time we've heard it. Hasn't stopped the shit.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  Remember, he's the I like swimming guy.

• 1:02:11Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 1:02:12Duncan Trussell?

  You don't like hot dog in the brain?

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  I love hot dog in the brain. No, but this is, uh, my brother was just telling me before we went on that.

• 1:02:19Speaker 04

  I don't know where he's going with this. I want to hear what.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  You, you were telling me that people have tried to use the shroud for personal gain and they've died in very mysterious ways.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  And you, you were saying that.

• 1:02:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's like those rocks from Hawaii.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  You were saying that a guy tried to use the shroud for personal gain. He died in a fiery car crash. So I feel like I might die.

• 1:02:34Kurt Metzger?

  What did he gain?

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  I feel like I might die in a fiery car crash on the way home.

• 1:02:36Kurt Metzger?

  What did he try to gain?

• 1:02:37Duncan Trussell?

  You're not using it for personal gain. I think you guys are doing a good job.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  No, we're here to share, yeah.

• 1:02:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but what about?

• 1:02:42Kurt Metzger?

  If he gives me free shit, then it's not.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  Let me make a quick list for you.

• 1:02:46Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:47Speaker 04

  How about?

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  I'm worried about the fire car crash on the way home. I might take, I might take a cyber cab. I'm not sure.

• 1:02:51Speaker 04

  You'll be fine. Uh, the image sits on zero point two microns on the surface, so it doesn't penetrate uh, the cloth. The blood is soaked in, but the image you could shave off with a razor blade. It's super thin. Our best lasers today can't make an image like that. That's one. Uh, two, just the two variables themselves. The crown of thorns plus uh, someone being crucified. There is nobody else in history that ha- that matches that description. Uh, three is that the blood came first. That's nothing unusual about that. A cloth and burial cloth and, and blood. But then the image, we can't explain when it was, but it is there. Like you cannot deny that it is there. Uh, it has a photographic negative effect.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, can we talk about how like what started the interest in this whole thing?

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, how about, oh, this is.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  So, right, so there was a um, photographer, um, amateur photographer, Italian. His name was Secundopia. And he was the first guy to photograph the shroud of Turin. And what he realized, when he looked at the photographic negative, uh, that image looked like a positive. It looked more real than the real shroud itself. And this is what we're seeing here on the, on the plate.

• 1:03:50Kurt Metzger?

  I've heard this before.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:03:51Duncan Trussell?

  I've never heard this.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  So, he, he's a photographer. He, he can explain that better, but essentially.

• 1:03:56Kurt Metzger?

  It looks like in Mexico when they had the alien bodies and they unboxed aliens.

• 1:04:00Speaker 04

  So here's, let's uh.

• 1:04:01Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what is that?

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  This is a reproduction of the, of what Jesus would have looked like in the tomb.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  They did a scan called the V, the VP.

• 1:04:08Kurt Metzger?

  Of that, of that image.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  They did, yeah. Oh, and that's 3D information encoded.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  Called the VP8 Analyzer.

• 1:04:14Duncan Trussell?

  So this is a 3D rendering of what's in this shroud.

• 1:04:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just carefully, yeah.

• 1:04:19Duncan Trussell?

  Be careful.

• 1:04:20Kurt Metzger?

  What's the meaning of?

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  Uh, it's, it's coded, it's 3D printed, but it's coded, coded in bronze resin.

• 1:04:25Kurt Metzger?

  Well, now, obviously I'm checking nose length first to make sure this could be accurate.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  Here's a shroud. We haven't shown it yet.

• 1:04:30Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean, come on? That's a fact.

• 1:04:33Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, this is a mini shroud.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  That's right, yeah. But they ran, they ran the shroud through uh, this analog computer called VP8 Analyzer. What it did was it um, took uh, light and, light and shadow data and turned it into like high and low data.

• 1:04:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  It made a topographical map. So this is based, this is a 3D model based on that scan.

• 1:04:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's pretty cool, dude.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  Of the man of the shroud.

• 1:04:52Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, it's, it's wild that you guys made action figures of this.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that. Wait, wait, look. It has a shroud you can put on it?

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  These are the only ones we're allowed to play with at home, you know?

• 1:05:02Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, you can actually put the shroud over it now?

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  Dude, I couldn't, I couldn't write.

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Let's do it right here, though.

• 1:05:08Kurt Metzger?

  A sketch, uh, more.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  On, like I was saying, on, and this is something, I mean, you know, it's not.

• 1:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  This is a.

• 1:05:16Speaker 04

  This is usually for, for the. Yeah, this is usually the kid friendly, like, I don't know.

• 1:05:20Kurt Metzger?

  Check it out.

• 1:05:21Speaker 04

  It's a good teaching tool for kids because they can, they can kind of do this, but it's uh, Jesus would have been wrapped like this.

• 1:05:27Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I see, I see, I see.

• 1:05:28Kurt Metzger?

  I don't get that part of it.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  So.

• 1:05:30Kurt Metzger?

  I, well, I did taste it.

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  He was wrapped and then he was bound. And we know this cause he was, he was buried according to the Jewish burial custom. And we don't have to go very far on the gospels to know who else was buried. There was a guy, Lazarus.

• 1:05:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Who was buried the same way. And then when Jesus tells him, you know, come out Lazarus, he, he comes out and then he tells the disciples, unbind him, meaning he was bound still. So there was clearly something to unbind. So that's what I was saying before about the balloon, how it, it seems like.

• 1:05:58Duncan Trussell?

  Cause the gases would fill it up.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  It just like deflated like this. Just went all the way down. There's no signs of that he weren't, you know?

• 1:06:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  Exactly, yeah.

• 1:06:06Kurt Metzger?

  But where was this uh, it got burned where in France? Was it in France?

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  It got, yeah, in Chambéry, uh, fifteen thirty two. The shroud. So if you see these, uh, these are burn marks.

• 1:06:16Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that's what that is?

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, and they're symmetrical because this was in a reliquary. Patricia, maybe you can fold it.

• 1:06:22Duncan Trussell?

  I see. Oh, that's crazy.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  So if you see.

• 1:06:26Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know those were burn marks.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  That's why it's symmetrical.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  You can tell how it was like wrapped up. I'll have to show it to you.

• 1:06:32Speaker 04

  Stay wrapped up.

• 1:06:33Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  So it would, it would have been.

• 1:06:36Kurt Metzger?

  Will you put something in, guys? Uh, uh, the, a scol, S C O L E experiment. Photos. And, and there's a reason for this. S C O L E, scol experiment.

• 1:06:50Duncan Trussell?

  Scol experiment? That's when I was in high school. Tried dip for the first time. I peed for three hours straight.

• 1:06:56Kurt Metzger?

  Now, that's a Tar Heel if I ever heard one.

• 1:06:57Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, you got it, man. It wasn't fun. It weren't fun.

• 1:07:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that guy's from the Piedmont if I, if I don't.

• 1:07:04Duncan Trussell?

  You got it, brother. The shit was spinning.

• 1:07:07Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait, wait. Uh, scol experiment, photos. No, no, go, go down. Uh, scol experiment, photo, photo images.

• 1:07:16Kurt Metzger?

  There's something that this story is reminding me of a lot.

• 1:07:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:07:19Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, well, we could click the images.

• 1:07:23Kurt Metzger?

  Now, so when they did these experiments, uh, we gotta get Tony Mera on. Cause he knows all about this. So do you see that little big head? Now this, the same kind of alien that, uh, what's his name? Uh, the guy that stunk up that house, uh, Crowley.

• 1:07:41Kurt Metzger?

  A lamb type.

• 1:07:41Duncan Trussell?

  Guy who stunk up that house?

• 1:07:43Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we all gotta admire him because he stunk a house up once.

• 1:07:47Duncan Trussell?

  Didn't that even the house Led Zeppelin owned?

• 1:07:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:51Duncan Trussell?

  That burnt down? You know, they say it, the Crowley, the Loch Ness monster was never seen before Crowley stunk up the house?

• 1:07:58Kurt Metzger?

  Well, look, I believe he could have done it, but if you think he's the only one doing that, plus think of what an atomic weapon detonating. Think of the ritual nature of that. David Lynch knew that. That's why he put it in, uh, Twin Peaks remake.

• 1:08:11Duncan Trussell?

  Cool.

• 1:08:12Kurt Metzger?

  Bob, the demon comes in through the atomic blast.

• 1:08:14Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 1:08:15Kurt Metzger?

  David Lynch put in a couple of like things that are like deep cut.

• 1:08:18Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 1:08:19Kurt Metzger?

  Into like, okay, and the lodges and all. Okay. So this image.

• 1:08:23Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:08:23Kurt Metzger?

  These were burned into the, without taking a photo, they were burned onto the film. The thing you were describing with this.

• 1:08:30Speaker 04

  Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:30Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, cool.

• 1:08:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. And so I, I don't want to get into all details of the story, look it up, but, uh, Tony, uh, Steve Mera, sorry, Steve Mera. And Nathaniel Gillis, who's been on our show, Smart Chain. Duncan, remember Smart Chain?

• 1:08:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah.

• 1:08:45Kurt Metzger?

  They have a great channel where they talk about this, but Steve Mera could talk all about this. The things where they were in some thin place, talking to the other side, whatever the fuck that is. All kinds of shit can happen. All kinds of shit can happen.

• 1:08:59Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, explain the experiment. What was it? Like, explain it to me. What happened?

• 1:09:02Kurt Metzger?

  It was like a seance and a.

• 1:09:05Duncan Trussell?

  And they burnt something in a photographic film or what did they?

• 1:09:08Kurt Metzger?

  That without, they actually had, um, he said, uh, uh, well, apportation shit, but they had, um, like a newspaper.

• 1:09:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Kurt Metzger?

  That they kept under glass. It was like a newspaper from the time, but it, it disintegrated like almost immediately. After, it sounds like the Bledsoes.

• 1:09:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. So some kind of energy.

• 1:09:26Kurt Metzger?

  So, so there's something, if you do it right, where you can get effects like this. So.

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:09:32Kurt Metzger?

  The Shout! Turner, a hu- look, a hundred percent, I don't believe in supernatural. If a thing happens, then it's natural. It either don't happen or.

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  That's what, I mean, there's a million dollar reward to anyone who can replicate it. Nobody's been able to do it. It's, it's all the very, they sometimes we get one variable, but they don't get all of them at the same time.

• 1:09:47Kurt Metzger?

  Somewhat the skull experiment where I think that they replicated it in some way because all this is, is the, it's like the same thing of like, how could this image appear in this thing without doing this and that?

• 1:09:58Duncan Trussell?

  But they replicated it with a super, with a super normal or whatever.

• 1:10:02Kurt Metzger?

  If you read Tracy Twyman research, by the way, when she went to France and studied the, uh,

• 1:10:09Kurt Metzger?

  the Templars and all, and she got the actual, when the, she, you know, the Vatican put out a, it was not a pardon of the Templars. Okay?

• 1:10:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:10:18Kurt Metzger?

  And I say the, by the way, let me be pro Pope here. I don't think they were wrong to execute them Templars at all. At all.

• 1:10:26Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think about that?

• 1:10:27Kurt Metzger?

  In fact, they lured, they lured the guy that they went in, uh, uh, you know, who's the prince? Uh, uh, uh, who's the, uh, the guy or who's the guy they burned? Um, he thought he was going in for the Pope to tell him to start a new crusade. The crusaders had a real Pete Hegseth Department of War, uh, Bannon mentality that people are only good in the crucible of war.

• 1:10:51Speaker 04

  I see.

• 1:10:52Kurt Metzger?

  Forever war, that idea where a bank finances forever war, that originates with the Templars. Just not the Jews. Although the Jews were put in the Judas situation of being the front of the tax collector that you hate. Okay? Jacques de Molay. So Jacques de Molay, when he went back to France, he thought he was going in to get a new assign, just like in, um, Goodfellas where he thought he was getting made.

• 1:11:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:17Kurt Metzger?

  You know, oh no, that's what happened. Okay. So what's Tracy Twyman's research, why it's so great? What is it the Templars were channeling with their John the Baptist skull? The first thing on a Ouija board they were doing? They invented the banking system we have now. So you see like, never mind rockets and spaceships. Imagine the, who gives you the vision to set up banking a thing that we've had since then, the same way?

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:11:44Kurt Metzger?

  Money lending is one thing. That's like mobsters can do that, but banking is a different thing.

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  Yeah. All I can think of to this is I, I think of Father Ripperger, who was an exorcist and he talks.

• 1:11:54Kurt Metzger?

  Didn't he get in trouble or something?

• 1:11:56Speaker 04

  He, I think so, yeah.

• 1:11:57Kurt Metzger?

  Cause what do you? Yo, I mean, I want to ask you about that.

• 1:12:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, tell me.

• 1:12:00Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, will you pass me a white glove of?

• 1:12:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh yeah, sorry.

• 1:12:04Duncan Trussell?

  I'm so, wait, wait, wait, wait. I saw him on.

• 1:12:09Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up Father, what's his name?

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  Ripperger?

• 1:12:11Duncan Trussell?

  Ripperger.

• 1:12:12Kurt Metzger?

  I saw him on, uh, the, uh, Sean Palmisano.

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  Sean Ryan?

• 1:12:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, his real name's Palmisano.

• 1:12:18Speaker 04

  Oh, is it? Oh, no.

• 1:12:19Kurt Metzger?

  Paul, yeah. Uh, the Sean Palmisano, Paige Shell. Now, he's had people on there. Interesting. My good buddy Eric, uh, Hacker was on.

• 1:12:26Duncan Trussell?

  What'd he get in trouble for?

• 1:12:29Kurt Metzger?

  Um, but, but was he the one said, so yeah, you, you explain it better. Cause he gotten some kind of problem with the church?

• 1:12:35Speaker 04

  I, it could just be a sanction. It could, it seems like, I, I can't speak, I don't know the details, but it seems like they told them for a year, you're not allowed to go on podcasts or to.

• 1:12:45Kurt Metzger?

  Because he said the visitors are, are demons or something?

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  I'm not sure what it was for, but what I was trying to get at is that ain't, the demons are fallen angels and they're highly intelligent. And he's an exorcist. Like that's his job is he, he takes demons out of people.

• 1:12:59Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on. Dymon's a Greek word. Fallen angels comprise one, which I think, I forget what they're called. Um, but there's other shit that are not fallen and it's not necessarily non biblical either. There's other shit that are Dymon.

• 1:13:13Speaker 04

  What are you talking about?

• 1:13:14Kurt Metzger?

  In the Greeks, you Dymon is the point where you're, you're interacting with God and the universe, you know, like your material body.

• 1:13:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Kurt Metzger?

  There's a connection point to the unreal, right? There's no room for the real in the world of the unreal. So when something real goes in unreal, something pops out.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 1:13:32Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I'm blathering a lot of my own shit, but anyway, the Dymon idea is that's where you connect. So genius is a form of Dymon.

• 1:13:41Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:13:42Kurt Metzger?

  Right? That's just what those words mean.

• 1:13:44Speaker 04

  So all I, yeah, all I know is that.

• 1:13:45Kurt Metzger?

  Demon's negative.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  They're highly intelligent.

• 1:13:47Kurt Metzger?

  They don't have to be fallen angels. There's other stuff.

• 1:13:49Duncan Trussell?

  Demons are all highly intelligent. There's no dumb ones.

• 1:13:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, if you wanna be biblic.

• 1:13:53Speaker 04

  Angels and demons. Yeah, they're.

• 1:13:54Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I'm telling you, if you wanna be biblic, Gary Wayne, who's not, who's, I had him on my show. His research on is great because he, he thought of things I would have never considered.

• 1:14:04Speaker 04

  Yeah. And that's what I'm saying is that these ideas, a lot of our thoughts that we think are not necessarily ours and there could be.

• 1:14:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's creepy.

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  Throughout history, people got a certain kind of intelligence and it may have come from, from demons. And I've heard.

• 1:14:15Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever seen an exorcism?

• 1:14:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:14:18Duncan Trussell?

  Would you ever go to one?

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  Actually, yes, because, uh, trivia question here is that every baptism has a, has an exorcism.

• 1:14:25Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, that's right. You know, and this is what sucks about baptism because it might.

• 1:14:29Kurt Metzger?

  Does that mean playing Jesuit?

• 1:14:31Duncan Trussell?

  When I, when I, when I.

• 1:14:34Kurt Metzger?

  Now I'd like to get a painting.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  You're playing against yourself. Knight to E4.

• 1:14:38Kurt Metzger?

  We have a gift for you. It's a painting of this.

• 1:14:40Duncan Trussell?

  When you go to Ca- when you go to Catholic mass.

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:45Duncan Trussell?

  When they, they, they did it, they do baptisms.

• 1:14:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:47Duncan Trussell?

  And some kids.

• 1:14:48Kurt Metzger?

  That's actually beautiful.

• 1:14:49Duncan Trussell?

  They start screaming.

• 1:14:51Kurt Metzger?

  Look at Jesus exasperated with Carlos.

• 1:14:54Speaker 04

  Could be coming out of the thing.

• 1:14:56Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think?

• 1:14:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:57Speaker 04

  I mean, kids scream all the time. I have kids.

• 1:15:00Duncan Trussell?

  I know. I don't wanna judge him, but what they.

• 1:15:02Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta shit soaking.

• 1:15:03Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead.

• 1:15:05Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look at Jesus. Oh, Carlos, you're so immature. Look at him.

• 1:15:11Kurt Metzger?

  Carlos interrupto. What? Jesus, I gotta shit. You see Carlos interrupto talking?

• 1:15:15Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus is like, can I talk?

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  Oh, you have little faith.

• 1:15:23Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus is like, shut the fuck up.

• 1:15:27Speaker 04

  Have you learned nothing?

• 1:15:29Kurt Metzger?

  Did your boy Peter Till tell you about the interrupticon?

• 1:15:32Speaker 04

  Did I make this one?

• 1:15:33Kurt Metzger?

  He interrupts the man of walllessness.

• 1:15:37Kurt Metzger?

  All right. Well, I really do have to shit though. It's not a bit. I'm taking a full shit.

• 1:15:41Duncan Trussell?

  Are you actually going to shit?

• 1:15:43Kurt Metzger?

  Not that it's your business, but I did bring it up myself. So yeah.

• 1:15:46Duncan Trussell?

  All right.

• 1:15:47Kurt Metzger?

  You better believe it.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  Do you need a poop dula there or how does that go?

• 1:15:50Duncan Trussell?

  Did you say poop dula?

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  This is your thing there.

• 1:15:53Kurt Metzger?

  He knows that I'm a poop dula.

• 1:15:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:55Kurt Metzger?

  He probably sensed it on me.

• 1:15:56Speaker 04

  Uh huh. Do you need like a fellow like poop dula?

• 1:15:58Kurt Metzger?

  Do you have the gift? Did your abuela give you a gift?

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  She did, yeah.

• 1:16:02Kurt Metzger?

  I know what a guy needs is shit.

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  Mexican abuelas, this is what they do.

• 1:16:05Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on.

• 1:16:06Duncan Trussell?

  Can you solo this?

• 1:16:07Kurt Metzger?

  Someone else in here needs to shit right now. Okay. Well, I can't worry about them because I gotta shit.

• 1:16:14Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, we need to make an action figure playset of this. And then we need to make an action figure, I'm gonna make the commercial.

• 1:16:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yes!

• 1:16:22Kurt Metzger?

  The commercial's gonna be...

• 1:16:23Duncan Trussell?

  Please!

• 1:16:24Kurt Metzger?

  The, the action figures of this have, they come with smaller action figures they play with of this.

• 1:16:29Duncan Trussell?

  I love it.

• 1:16:33Duncan Trussell?

  What, what is, what, what is the, you know, I, I do think that like one thing that's cool about...

• 1:16:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:40Duncan Trussell?

  That's not gonna feel...

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  Flagellation?

• 1:16:42Duncan Trussell?

  Not gonna feel good.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Self-flagellation?

• 1:16:45Duncan Trussell?

  The stones.

• 1:16:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're supposed to be...

• 1:16:47Speaker 03

  They're led.

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  Bone and lead.

• 1:16:48Speaker 03

  Bone and lead.

• 1:16:49Duncan Trussell?

  Rip you up.

• 1:16:49Speaker 04

  A hundred and, what is it, a hundred and twenty, a hundred and forty?

• 1:16:52Duncan Trussell?

  There's a, isn't there a Rolling Stones song? What's the Rolling Stones song about the lashes Jesus got? What is it? What, what is? What is like a supernatural thing that you have personally encountered working with the Shroud of Turin?

• 1:17:11Speaker 04

  Oh, man. Well, I would say even just how I started with this whole thing. It, I would say that's pretty amazing. It's, it's literally a blessing and I, I have a picture, maybe they can pull up, but the reason that I got involved was my wife and I took a trip to Rome and we switched our itinerary. We weren't really supposed to be there that Wednesday. We were gonna go to the papal audience on Sunday. Now Pope Francis had just passed away and Pope Leo had just been in three weeks after he was inaugurated. And we brought our eight-month-old son and we put a little pope hat on him to see if we could get the pope's attention.

• 1:17:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  There are so many things that had to line up, but next thing I know, the pope's blessing my son.

• 1:17:55Duncan Trussell?

  Whoa, cool.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  And that day that I...

• 1:17:57Duncan Trussell?

  That's intense.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  The picture's on the news.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I made a Rome report. It was on the news, which is funny because my wife doesn't want...

• 1:18:03Speaker 03

  My nephew.

• 1:18:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, but that picture's fine.

• 1:18:05Duncan Trussell?

  You mean you don't want pictures of your kid out there?

• 1:18:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one's like on the side. He was little and, and the Vatican just, I mean, it went everywhere.

• 1:18:11Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  But that same day is the day that I went to dinner to, to have, you know, lunch with some friends and basically I met a priest named Father Andrew Dalton, who is the expert on the Shroud of Turin and he's the one who got me involved in this.

• 1:18:23Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:18:24Speaker 04

  And I, you know, the timing of being there, getting a good spot, the fact that the pope, like he, he has spots to that he can spot, uh, stop in. Why did he have to stop? And he could stop but just wave, not necessarily like get the blessing. And then out of all the priests in Rome, there are many priests. You see them all the time.

• 1:18:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  I'm always trying to greet them like, "Hey Father, hey Father," and over there it's, you gotta pace yourself like Roxbury.

• 1:18:46Duncan Trussell?

  There's so many of them.

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  But I think, and, um, anyway, why, why him? And then the fact that my life changed after that. I didn't, I'm a cradle Catholic and I didn't even know about the Shroud of Turin. I didn't, I thought it was something on the History Channel. I didn't think it was something...

• 1:19:01Duncan Trussell?

  When you're around it?

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Duncan Trussell?

  Do you feel anything?

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  Not the replica itself.

• 1:19:06Duncan Trussell?

  Have you been around the actual shroud?

• 1:19:08Speaker 03

  We gotta go to Turin.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  No, you have to go to Turin. Yeah, I've been, I've been to Rome, I've been to Venice.

• 1:19:11Duncan Trussell?

  So you've never been around it in Paris? Why not?

• 1:19:14Speaker 04

  I have to, I need to take the trip, yeah. But I've heard, I keep hearing from people that have and like the other thing is if we took a trip right now, then we wouldn't be able to see it. It's, it's, you could pray outside of it. It's in a, in the chapel of, of the cathedral of John the Baptist. Inside a chapel, in a dark room where light doesn't hit it, with argon gas.

• 1:19:33Duncan Trussell?

  So no one can look at it.

• 1:19:34Speaker 04

  You can look at a replica.

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  They haven't shown it, I think, since 2015, is that right?

• 1:19:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:19:38Speaker 03

  For some reason, I'm not sure, but...

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  The Jubilee year. They were supposed to do it last year, but because Pope Francis passed away, I guess the, the plan's switched, but...

• 1:19:46Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:19:47Speaker 04

  The owner of the shroud, that's something else that's important, is the pope. Since 1983, it used to be King Umberto, the last king of Italy, which is weird to think about how Italy had kings. But he bequeathed it to the popes. So now from John Paul II to Pope Benedict to...

• 1:20:03Duncan Trussell?

  You own the Shroud of Turin.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  He, he owns the shroud.

• 1:20:05Duncan Trussell?

  Put it, so the pope could theoretically put the shroud on eBay.

• 1:20:10Speaker 04

  I mean, he could do what he wants.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  Put him on his back like a superhero cape, you know?

• 1:20:13Duncan Trussell?

  He could, he owns it.

• 1:20:14Speaker 04

  He, he is the owner, yeah. And that's actually why we're coming up on all the, on the 50th anniversary of STURP. We haven't talked about STURP. STURP is the Shroud of Turin Research Project. So after...

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Right, this is after Secondo Pio took that picture. This is what brought up this interest and they found, they established this STURP.

• 1:20:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, they realized...

• 1:20:31Speaker 03

  Shroud of Turin Research Project.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  Why is there a photographic effect on the shroud in the first century or in medieval times, whatever you wanna data to? Explain the photographic effect before photography. That led the scientific community to say, "We're gonna get the best team of, of Americans here," and they had, uh, you know, agnostics, Jews, Christians, Catholics. They would go to Italy, they'd get some people from Italy as well, and they'd do a hundred and hour, a hundred and twenty hours of testing, five days uninterrupted with the shroud. And the conclusions from STURP were, they still can't tell you what it is, but they can tell you what it's not. They realized, this is not paint. This is not dye. This is not pigment. This is not a scorch. This is not a rubbing. There's no directionality. There's no brushstrokes.

• 1:21:11Speaker 04

  You know, it's, we don't know how this thing was made. And so the pope has the ability to, if some people wanna do another testing on it, like either carbon dating or something else, he's the owner, so he could make that happen.

• 1:21:24Duncan Trussell?

  They haven't done carbon dating on it?

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  They did do carbon dating. In 1988, they carbon dated it. And this was all over the news. Yeah, they, it came out all over that it said, "Shroud of Turin, fake, medieval forgery."

• 1:21:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:36Speaker 04

  But what happened is they took the, many things happened, but they took the sample from the only location that was different to the rest of the cloth. So it wasn't representative of that.

• 1:21:44Speaker 03

  It was repaired there.

• 1:21:45Speaker 04

  It had been patched by some nuns, uh, the poor sis, poor Claire sisters. And that's one thing. Also, there were supposed to be seven laboratories that were supposed to examine it. They only sent it to three, Oxford, Zurich, and Arizona. They were supposed to be independent of each other and publish independently. They collaborated and published together.

• 1:22:04Duncan Trussell?

  I'm gonna ask you a hard question.

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 1:22:06Duncan Trussell?

  If you, if it did come out, like you said, Catholicism, rational faith in between.

• 1:22:13Speaker 04

  Great, yeah.

• 1:22:14Duncan Trussell?

  If it did come out, that in fact, this was a forgery.

• 1:22:18Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:22:19Duncan Trussell?

  How would you react?

• 1:22:20Speaker 04

  It wouldn't change anything. And this, I'm so gla...

• 1:22:22Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 1:22:22Speaker 04

  I'm grateful for the question because this is so important. The Christian faith, Catholic faith, because that's, it's the, the OG, is, is based on the witness of the apostles to the resurrection.

• 1:22:33Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:22:33Speaker 04

  That's what it's based on. The Shroud of Turin could be fake and it wouldn't change it.

• 1:22:37Duncan Trussell?

  It's icing on the cake.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  It, it's not what?

• 1:22:38Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 1:22:38Duncan Trussell?

  The Shroud of Turin, just like icing on the, it's cool.

• 1:22:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't rest on that. That's not the foundation. What is, and actually I would, I would go as far as to say that not believing in the resurrection is almost irrational because you have to come up with an alternate theory. Jesus appeared to many people, 500 at a time, many at a time. You have to kinda say that you had mass psychosis or mass delusions, like, but you have to make the choice. Do you believe the apostles who said, "We saw the risen Lord," and that went to their deaths for it? Because remember, they had been scared in the upper room for their lives, for fear of the Jews. That's what it said. So now saying, "I'm gonna be tortured, crucified upside down, boiled, and I won't deny Jesus," and that many people have gone, like many people will die for a lie.

• 1:23:22Speaker 04

  People like to say that nobody will die for a lie. I think that's false. I think many people genuinely die for things that they think are true.

• 1:23:28Duncan Trussell?

  Vietnam!

• 1:23:28Speaker 04

  Vietnam, uh, jihadists, like, well, you can use many examples. But what people will not do is die, is do a whole 180. Go from being scared to the same people saying, "I can't deny this." You can, you know, boil me, you can do whatever, and, and, and have a complete 180. That doesn't make sense.

• 1:23:46Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think's more important? The historicity? Or the experience you have

• 1:23:57Duncan Trussell?

  engaging with Catholicism?

• 1:23:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:00Duncan Trussell?

  What's more, what's more important?

• 1:24:01Speaker 04

  I would say you don't need to have all the knowledge, data, uh, as Father Max Schmitt's like to say, you, you need to have a relationship with Jesus because he became a, a, a human so that we could relate to him, so that we could relate to the divinity that is in God. So he became like us so that we might become like him.

• 1:24:18Duncan Trussell?

  Do you think Jesus would say, like, don't you, sometimes it just feels like people get lost in the sauce. It's like, I've all, anytime I see anything about examining the historical Jesus, I, I, my eyes glaze over. I'm so bored by that.

• 1:24:35Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:24:35Duncan Trussell?

  And, and the, the bickering that inevitably happens.

• 1:24:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, debates and things.

• 1:24:40Duncan Trussell?

  The debates and all of that stuff. Don't you think that is distracting from the whole point of the...

• 1:24:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:48Duncan Trussell?

  Of, of, of the event, or what it's saying is that the church is the body of Christ?

• 1:24:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:53Duncan Trussell?

  That you, that's literal. That's meant to be taken literally.

• 1:24:57Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:24:57Duncan Trussell?

  Right?

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  So, yeah, no, I'm, I'm grateful for that question because the way we come to know Jesus can be different. But some people, even this, when we finish our exhibit and in that booklet, we think of doubting Thomas, who said, "I will not believe until I put my finger in the side."

• 1:25:13Duncan Trussell?

  Stick his fucking finger, sorry for cursing. He had to stick his finger in a, in a wound.

• 1:25:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. There are some people, to answer your question, that need that. So if you want the intellectual tradition,

• 1:25:24Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 1:25:25Speaker 04

  It's there. If you were raised a certain way by your parents, I always say that when I help teenagers, like, you should question your faith, like, don't do it because you were just taught that. Because it can, Catholicism can withstand it. So you can have that, but you ultimately, you need a relationship with Jesus. And so it's about love. It's about that. If, uh...

• 1:25:47Kurt Metzger?

  Poop timer, what is that?

• 1:25:49Speaker 04

  If you have, if you do all the great works and all, but you don't have love, it's all in vain.

• 1:25:53Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, so there's not record time.

• 1:25:54Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, will you put it back so I can see myself on the things? I wanna see if these hats are covering my injury.

• 1:25:58Speaker 04

  And adoration. And for people that don't know adoration, if people want silence in this world, there's a lot of noise and chaos. Just look up adoration to see what it is, because it's you alone in silence with God.

• 1:26:09Duncan Trussell?

  That's called adoration.

• 1:26:10Speaker 04

  Adoration.

• 1:26:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  And it's just the body, the body there, and you can just have silence and just go and experience it for yourself, I would say.

• 1:26:18Duncan Trussell?

  There you go. Shroud of Turin.

• 1:26:20Speaker 03

  There you go, that works.

• 1:26:20Duncan Trussell?

  It's just cool, but it's not the whole thing.

• 1:26:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, but if it is, if it is true, then it would be, it is, it would be the most prized relic of all the Christendom because it has our Lord's blood on it.

• 1:26:31Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds very materialistic to me. Sorry, I just took a shot.

• 1:26:34Speaker 04

  And it's...

• 1:26:37Duncan Trussell?

  Have they, have they done DNA tests on the blood?

• 1:26:39Speaker 04

  I think DNA test, it's too, it's been handled by so many people that it's not reliable. I don't know if you know.

• 1:26:45Speaker 03

  Didn't, weren't you telling me something? They were, um, found what the, the blood type is on the, the Eucharist and the Shroud as well?

• 1:26:51Speaker 04

  I think they used to say like AB and M. If it is, and I believe it is, then it would have to be AB and it matches the Eucharistic miracles. But there's, the good thing about science is like, it keeps evolving. There are debates. People can go to shroud.com and look at the research papers. Some people spend their whole lives...

• 1:27:05Duncan Trussell?

  Shroud.com?

• 1:27:06Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, that's not a dating site?

• 1:27:13Speaker 03

  For what?

• 1:27:13Kurt Metzger?

  To meet Orthodox Jews in my area that wanna fuck and throw shit.

• 1:27:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, so Metzger, I gotta ask you, do you think it's the end of the world? Do you think this is the, this is the end of the world?

• 1:27:23Kurt Metzger?

  I think that they're gonna try to make it the end of the world, but they don't get to say when it is.

• 1:27:28Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, and can you guys pull up, I don't know, can you guys pull up the whole storing up food thing that's, that is in our notes? Cause I don't know if you can find it. I, I know Japan, look up Japan, England tells people to store up food. Have you heard about this, Metzger?

• 1:27:44Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:27:45Duncan Trussell?

  This, like, it's, it's, this is like, okay, here we go. Japan will issue a nationwide emergency request on November 2nd, urging citizens to stockpile at least three days and ideally a week of food and water. Can you pull up?

• 1:27:58Kurt Metzger?

  That's to get them hyped up to fight Russia.

• 1:28:00Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up the England one too? Is that what you think this is?

• 1:28:03Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I mean, any mention.

• 1:28:05Duncan Trussell?

  Stockpile food.

• 1:28:06Kurt Metzger?

  It's over for Europe.

• 1:28:07Speaker 03

  That's Day of the Dead, by the way, is that a coincidence or?

• 1:28:09Kurt Metzger?

  No, it's not. In fact, they did, you remember this?

• 1:28:12Duncan Trussell?

  Look, wait, real quick, real quick. The UK government launched the B red, ready, keeping, urging households. But why Japan? Why is Japan doing that? Russia, Russia's gonna attack Japan.

• 1:28:22Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know why Japan's doing that. Where does it say that?

• 1:28:23Duncan Trussell?

  Pull, oh, you just, go back, rewind the tape, you fucking asshole.

• 1:28:28Kurt Metzger?

  You sound crazy.

• 1:28:29Duncan Trussell?

  You're just over there rambling.

• 1:28:34Duncan Trussell?

  Japan will issue a nationwide emergency request on November 2nd, urging citizens to stockpile at least three days and ideally a week of food and water.

• 1:28:48Duncan Trussell?

  Rewind the tape.

• 1:28:49Kurt Metzger?

  I'm over here trying to see a good hat for my injuries.

• 1:28:51Duncan Trussell?

  You're over there taking pictures of you in your leprechaun hat, you fuck. Look, Japan to ask people, Japan, Japan to ask people to stock up supplies ahead of National Disaster Agency launch. So people online right now are freaking out because all of these Japan, UK, people are saying store up food and people are saying, then pull up CNN, uh, pull up CNN mega, mega volcano.

• 1:29:17Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, one point I'd like to make.

• 1:29:20Kurt Metzger?

  Carlos Interrupto would like to make a point.

• 1:29:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, this is a good interrupting wand. Look at this. Who made this? This is genius. Carlos Interrupto.

• 1:29:31Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's not it.

• 1:29:32Kurt Metzger?

  No, I don't even, so look at this.

• 1:29:33Duncan Trussell?

  I would have to send the link to you for this, but CNN accidentally.

• 1:29:35Kurt Metzger?

  Excuse me.

• 1:29:36Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead, sorry.

• 1:29:37Kurt Metzger?

  This is incredible.

• 1:29:38Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know you had the wand. I didn't know you had the wand.

• 1:29:41Kurt Metzger?

  It was on my chair when I got back from my shit.

• 1:29:43Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead, go ahead, interrupt. I'm sorry, go ahead.

• 1:29:45Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, you know, like, people get scared when I start, when I come, I go, oh, and I start.

• 1:29:50Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, okay, go.

• 1:29:52Kurt Metzger?

  Oh God, he's gonna interrupt. That's what they say when I pull it out.

• 1:29:55Duncan Trussell?

  Pull it out.

• 1:29:55Kurt Metzger?

  Like the bad guy from Indiana Jones?

• 1:29:57Duncan Trussell?

  What do you got?

• 1:30:00Kurt Metzger?

  What are you guys talking about?

• 1:30:02Duncan Trussell?

  You fucker, you don't even have any rights to it.

• 1:30:04Speaker 03

  To see what you were gonna say when you interrupted.

• 1:30:06Kurt Metzger?

  Carlos.

• 1:30:07Speaker 03

  Carlos Interrupto.

• 1:30:08Duncan Trussell?

  It's just nihilism.

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  He has to break into a song or something.

• 1:30:11Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, now I remember.

• 1:30:12Speaker 03

  Patricio Carlos, is that a thing?

• 1:30:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it looks great.

• 1:30:14Speaker 03

  That's my, that's my patron saint, by the way. Patrick, Patricio, Patrick, Saint Patrick, you know?

• 1:30:18Duncan Trussell?

  That's your patron saint?

• 1:30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:20Kurt Metzger?

  Really kill those filthy elf bloods. Listen, uh, you know, uh, uh, who's the Lord of the Rings guy?

• 1:30:27Speaker 03

  J.R. Tolkien?

• 1:30:28Speaker 04

  Tolkien?

• 1:30:29Kurt Metzger?

  Now, that's a Cambridge, uh, convention, uh, using your initials like that, like J.K. Rowling. J.R. Tolkien.

• 1:30:36Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean, what do you mean?

• 1:30:38Speaker 03

  Like the way they write their names.

• 1:30:38Kurt Metzger?

  It's a Hogwarts, uh, convention, naming convention.

• 1:30:41Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:30:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, did you know that?

• 1:30:42Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean, I don't understand.

• 1:30:44Kurt Metzger?

  Like, we all do that. We write a book, we put like, DP, DP, oh, I'm DP Johnson also.

• 1:30:53Speaker 03

  Do we all know, by the way, that, uh, the Lord of the Rings is like the most Catholic, like, uh, movie, like, series as well?

• 1:30:58Kurt Metzger?

  Well, before you get excited, you should know that, uh, his son became a priest. Also.

• 1:31:04Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:31:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:06Duncan Trussell?

  Is that true?

• 1:31:07Kurt Metzger?

  No bearing on your faith, I'm just telling you what is.

• 1:31:09Speaker 03

  Take anything away from Lord of the Rings. But I didn't know.

• 1:31:12Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I, I think Tolkien thought he was writing down kinda like the real history. It is, because it is merely a metaphorical overlay for Atlantis, like many of these stories.

• 1:31:21Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:31:22Speaker 04

  He said, the most important thing about this work is that it's Catholic.

• 1:31:24Duncan Trussell?

  I have a bowel movement. I don't think that's.

• 1:31:26Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, can we get a timer for, uh, hot dog here?

• 1:31:30Kurt Metzger?

  Look, a hot dog's gotta go reproduce asexually, we like to say.

• 1:31:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:34Kurt Metzger?

  Think about it on the pot.

• 1:31:36Speaker 03

  No, okay. Thank you.

• 1:31:38Kurt Metzger?

  Let me tell you something. Oh, this is great. Who made this?

• 1:31:43Speaker 03

  But, but.

• 1:31:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 1:31:45Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:31:49Speaker 03

  Gandalf the White, when he came back. Same thing, same thing we're talking about, like, maybe.

• 1:31:53Kurt Metzger?

  He came back rainbow colored, believing in queer shit.

• 1:31:55Speaker 03

  No, he came back, uh, glowing in life and they didn't recognize him like you were saying before.

• 1:31:59Kurt Metzger?

  You know, Christ is really an allegory.

• 1:32:00Speaker 03

  Duncan was saying, but I don't recognize him. They didn't recognize him. He was, he was shining while white, like, like in the scriptures, like Jesus, when he comes back to the disciples. Same thing, he's a mirror right there.

• 1:32:08Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I like those books.

• 1:32:09Speaker 03

  And kinda like similar, yeah, they're great books, great movies.

• 1:32:12Speaker 04

  And the ring is a symbol for sin, so that's, maybe that falls into your worldview somehow.

• 1:32:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I, it probably means a lot of things, don't it?

• 1:32:20Speaker 04

  Cause when you, when you put it on, this is, uh, who am I going to hear?

• 1:32:24Kurt Metzger?

  Because they're trying to do a one eye to rule them all and they're trying to do a.

• 1:32:26Speaker 04

  You become visible to the, to the palantir, right? To the, to the, to the all seeing eye.

• 1:32:31Speaker 03

  Palantir we're dealing with right now.

• 1:32:32Speaker 04

  So when you sin.

• 1:32:34Speaker 03

  Exactly. They couldn't have picked a more evil name, right?

• 1:32:36Kurt Metzger?

  Well, and then, uh, we.

• 1:32:38Speaker 03

  They're not trying to hide it, is that what that means? Like?

• 1:32:41Kurt Metzger?

  It, it's almost like, uh, giving shout, it's like putting 33 and everything. It's, it's gang signs you're throwing up kinda, I think, I view it as, you know? Um, but the, the, that's really like something, the, um, Lord of the Rings shit. I mean, it's really like.

• 1:32:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause Aragorn is a figure for Christ.

• 1:33:00Speaker 03

  Gandalf.

• 1:33:01Speaker 04

  Who's the?

• 1:33:02Speaker 03

  Gandalf and Frodo as well.

• 1:33:03Speaker 04

  Oh, Frodo, yeah, I was like, who's the main guy?

• 1:33:04Speaker 03

  In different ways, yeah, Frodo.

• 1:33:05Speaker 04

  They all represent an aspect of Jesus.

• 1:33:07Speaker 03

  Has to carry the cross, has to carry the ring. We got, uh, we talked about those here already.

• 1:33:11Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 1:33:13Kurt Metzger?

  You've heard the gypsy legend, right? That, um, there was like golden nails for Jesus and then a gypsy boy stole the nails? So they couldn't like crucify him right away. So they were like, oh, that's good, you did that. So now you guys can steal.

• 1:33:26Speaker 04

  Never heard of that.

• 1:33:27Kurt Metzger?

  But I mean.

• 1:33:28Speaker 04

  And again, I would, I would just, let's look at any of these stories, like, I mean, let's just put it to the test. See what, see where the evidence leads.

• 1:33:36Duncan Trussell?

  Got a basketball!

• 1:33:38Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:33:38Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, an old school basketball!

• 1:33:43Kurt Metzger?

  You know what this reminds me of? A movie idea I had a while back. A man alone on an island in a hot dog suit with only a basketball.

• 1:33:51Duncan Trussell?

  Volleyball would be better.

• 1:33:53Kurt Metzger?

  It would be better.

• 1:33:54Duncan Trussell?

  Volleyball with the imprint of like a child.

• 1:33:56Kurt Metzger?

  That's the name of the movie.

• 1:33:58Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:33:58Kurt Metzger?

  A volleyball be better. Starring Duncan Trussell.

• 1:34:04Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, man.

• 1:34:05Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Uh, first of all, how is your shit?

• 1:34:11Duncan Trussell?

  I'm gonna be honest, I lied, I had to pee.

• 1:34:16Kurt Metzger?

  That's pretty fucked up, dude.

• 1:34:17Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:34:18Kurt Metzger?

  Now, let me ask you guys.

• 1:34:20Speaker 03

  You know lying is a sin, right? Did we not talk about this?

• 1:34:21Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:34:22Speaker 03

  You know lying is a sin, right? Have you not talked about this?

• 1:34:24Duncan Trussell?

  Missing the mark.

• 1:34:25Speaker 03

  Missing the mark?

• 1:34:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, missing the mark.

• 1:34:26Duncan Trussell?

  Missing the mark. That's what people don't like about Christianity. They don't wanna look into themselves. They wanna think they're just perfect the way they are. And I get that.

• 1:34:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, you haven't had anyone since I tried it and it didn't work.

• 1:34:36Kurt Metzger?

  They might have been raised in it and didn't care for.

• 1:34:38Duncan Trussell?

  Also, people have been religiously abused. I mean, that's the other problem too.

• 1:34:42Kurt Metzger?

  Most of society, you can bet your ass, was traumatized on.

• 1:34:46Speaker 04

  We're all fallen, there's evil everywhere.

• 1:34:47Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that sounds like it's my fault, but it's not.

• 1:34:50Duncan Trussell?

  Whose fault is it?

• 1:34:51Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know, I just got here, man. Somebody has to pay the bill, but that could be Jesus. I didn't start it. We didn't start the fire. A great man said that.

• 1:35:00Duncan Trussell?

  Billy fucking Joel, baby.

• 1:35:02Kurt Metzger?

  A saint, I believe, if I'm not mistaken.

• 1:35:03Duncan Trussell?

  Saint Joel.

• 1:35:05Speaker 03

  Is he, is that, is he in the process of getting canonized? Is that what's going on?

• 1:35:07Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I thought it was that guy that looked like a hot, like, uh, Gollum, Pope Gollum, that left real quick under weird circumstances.

• 1:35:13Speaker 03

  Oh, the 16th?

• 1:35:14Duncan Trussell?

  I listen, I have a question.

• 1:35:15Kurt Metzger?

  The modern one.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  Are you talking about Pope, the 16th?

• 1:35:17Kurt Metzger?

  German one.

• 1:35:18Speaker 03

  Pope Benedict 16th?

• 1:35:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Benedict.

• 1:35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's the only one that like, uh, kinda like renounced, right?

• 1:35:22Kurt Metzger?

  Well, cause he didn't wanna release all the, you know.

• 1:35:24Duncan Trussell?

  I have a question for you two.

• 1:35:25Kurt Metzger?

  He was a good.

• 1:35:26Duncan Trussell?

  You two are devout Catholics. You have a, uh, you know, this is a platform. And if you, if, if Jesus was moving through you and was saying, talk to these people out there, and mo, many of them are gonna be like, just, I don't wanna hear this shit. What would you say to the people listening right now who could be on the fence? Or maybe like, you know, being, feeling that bizarre magnetic pull towards the church? What would your message to them be?

• 1:35:56Kurt Metzger?

  Can I just interrupt? I'm sorry.

• 1:35:59Speaker 04

  Perfect timing.

• 1:36:01Kurt Metzger?

  I was trying to hold it.

• 1:36:03Speaker 04

  I would tell them like, God loves you. He made you. He knew you before you, before you were born, but when, when you were conceived, because life starts at conception. And I would tell people, go to adoration, even if you don't know what it is. Look it up and just spend an hour in silence, 30 minutes in silence and see where that leads because we truly believe he is there.

• 1:36:25Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what is that?

• 1:36:25Speaker 04

  Adoration? So it's, uh, the, but we believe that the, the host, again, the Eucharist is the, literally the body of Christ. So you can go to any Catholic church near you and you can spend some time, quiet time with Jesus. It's just a good time to just get away from all the noise that we have, all the scrolling, all the, uh.

• 1:36:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you mean you go into a church and you can just sit there and pray if you want?

• 1:36:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, but not, I'm not talking about just.

• 1:36:52Speaker 03

  It's a long moment of silence.

• 1:36:53Speaker 04

  The, the big, like, uh, building. I'm talking about in, in the chapel, just ask for where, where the body is exposed. Because we don't, we would be, we would be worshiping it, but.

• 1:37:05Kurt Metzger?

  What's it, where the body's exposed? Was that me?

• 1:37:06Speaker 04

  Yeah. Meaning the host is exposed. So the same wafer that, uh.

• 1:37:11Kurt Metzger?

  The wafer's the host. Okay.

• 1:37:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the host. There we go.

• 1:37:13Kurt Metzger?

  That AI description looked like porn and then it was like a body exposed and I didn't know what was happening.

• 1:37:18Speaker 04

  So if Jesus is truly there, then I would say just go and, and, and, and look.

• 1:37:24Duncan Trussell?

  You just sit quietly and look at it?

• 1:37:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. You can, you can pray, you can think, you can, I don't know, think of your loved ones. Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:37:31Speaker 03

  Can I say what it is for me? I think like what I appreciate about the shroud is because, um, you're like, you're saying you, you don't have to shake your brain at the door. I, I appreciate that it's something where you can actually bring science into it. I'm kind of like a man of science, but it, you know, I studied optometry, you know, eye doctor.

• 1:37:43Kurt Metzger?

  What kind of science?

• 1:37:45Speaker 03

  Uh, well, you know, physics, there's a lot of physics in this, you know, um, but I went to, you know.

• 1:37:49Kurt Metzger?

  Why Catholics and physics? That's a fact. In fact.

• 1:37:51Duncan Trussell?

  Is that true?

• 1:37:52Kurt Metzger?

  Isn't the Big Bang a Catholic?

• 1:37:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, Georges Le Maître, he was a Belgian priest.

• 1:37:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:57Speaker 03

  I went to the.

• 1:37:58Duncan Trussell?

  Are you serious?

• 1:37:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. You also, the guy who, something about molecules.

• 1:38:02Duncan Trussell?

  I would never knew that and I would not expect that. That is wild.

• 1:38:05Speaker 04

  And you know, Aquinas or a lot of our laws and things that way are, are based on like common law, this on, on, on the angelic doctor Aquinas. Like there is, we've had some of the great intellectuals, some of the best intellectuals have been Catholic and I don't think it's a coincidence. I think it's because truth cannot contradict itself.

• 1:38:22Kurt Metzger?

  Pope coincidence, the third, I believe was the guy who.

• 1:38:25Speaker 03

  Can I interrupt you here? Can I just say like, uh, I, I went to the only Catholic optometry school in the country. University of the Incarnate Word in, uh, San Antonio, you know, it's its own like separate like satellite school, but it's associated with the University of the Incarnate Word.

• 1:38:38Kurt Metzger?

  There's only one?

• 1:38:38Speaker 03

  There's only one, uh, you, uh, optometry school that's, it's associated with a religious, uh, institution and it's University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio.

• 1:38:45Kurt Metzger?

  Really?

• 1:38:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. And by the way, that, that was founded by nuns. They have all these medical schools now.

• 1:38:49Speaker 04

  Where do we get hospitals from?

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  And by the way, this is what I was getting at when we were talking about, you're, you're an author, you write, you know? I feel like this is what, this is what we're getting at. It's like, it's the incarnate word, right? That means like, uh, God boarding himself into the story, right? In the ultimate way, right? And he's.

• 1:39:02Kurt Metzger?

  I, I think that it is kind of because.

• 1:39:04Speaker 03

  The word became flesh. Is that what that?

• 1:39:06Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'll, I'll give you an example. When I, I always love making, um, anything I ever wrote for where they had to make props that like, and, and you know, a good writer is worried if you're pro, you're like, our budget can do this, but I am not. So I would just, whatever I could imagine and put into a thing, I would with no, like zero thought.

• 1:39:25Duncan Trussell?

  That's how you do it. That's why you love AI.

• 1:39:29Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, and so then when a prop will be made, like the dumbest shit in the world, uh, I, I would be delighted because I had just thought of it. And it like manifested. And so a team of talented people had to make my stupid.

• 1:39:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:43Kurt Metzger?

  Something I farted out like an idiot.

• 1:39:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:45Kurt Metzger?

  And then it's hysterical in real life because it's so dumb.

• 1:39:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. It's me. It's like that, uh, 3D printed, uh, shroud of, uh.

• 1:39:50Duncan Trussell?

  That's cool. That's a great.

• 1:39:52Kurt Metzger?

  But that's a manifesting that, you know, the people that invent this shit are, are acutely aware of that, that that is a, a form of that. Is, is the word made.

• 1:40:01Speaker 04

  The word made flesh. Yeah. The logos.

• 1:40:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:04Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think about Tale, what I can never pronounce his name, Thélier Deschardon?

• 1:40:09Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:40:09Duncan Trussell?

  Do you know about him?

• 1:40:10Speaker 04

  I don't know. Tell me.

• 1:40:11Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys pull up him? You'll love him. He was a Jesuit. He hates the Jesuits.

• 1:40:15Kurt Metzger?

  Why do you say that?

• 1:40:16Duncan Trussell?

  Didn't you say you hate Jesuits?

• 1:40:18Speaker 04

  So.

• 1:40:19Duncan Trussell?

  I thought you hated Jesuits.

• 1:40:20Speaker 04

  All I can say about the Jesuits.

• 1:40:21Kurt Metzger?

  I'm very honest about their fucking crimes. The left-hand path of the Pope. Yeah.

• 1:40:25Speaker 04

  My, my saint is, uh.

• 1:40:26Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry. For some reason I thought you didn't like the Jesuits.

• 1:40:29Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'm not pro Jesuit.

• 1:40:30Duncan Trussell?

  You made me scared of Jesuits. I wasn't scared of them until I talked to you.

• 1:40:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you're not a small boy, so you should be fine.

• 1:40:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, my patron saint is Saint Ignatius of Loyola. He's the one who founded the Jesuits. And I don't know all the whole history, but I think it, it, you know, you will know them by their fruit. It kind of speaks for itself. Something has changed. Uh, and so they get a bad reputation and I don't know.

• 1:40:51Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:40:52Speaker 04

  What, so they're, I'm not, I'm not against.

• 1:40:54Kurt Metzger?

  Like every other group.

• 1:40:55Duncan Trussell?

  Let me tell you, okay.

• 1:40:56Kurt Metzger?

  A serpent goes in the garden. So you make.

• 1:40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. So.

• 1:40:59Duncan Trussell?

  There's always someone who fucks shit up.

• 1:41:00Kurt Metzger?

  But even the initial group formation is kind of strange.

• 1:41:03Duncan Trussell?

  Thélier Deschardon.

• 1:41:05Speaker 04

  Tell me, yeah.

• 1:41:05Duncan Trussell?

  He predicted the internet before the internet happened and he, and he talked about the singularity. He was basically trying to, uh, make evolution harmonize with Catholic doctrine. He came up with this idea that we're being convicted.

• 1:41:21Kurt Metzger?

  Like a Satanist.

• 1:41:21Duncan Trussell?

  Or inhaled into God. He called it being convicted. And he said that we're moving towards the, for him, the apocalypse would be called the Omega Point, which is a point of maximum harmony and maximum complexity. And as we are being inhaled into the divine mind, things start speeding up. We, he predicted, he, he had a different name for it. I think he called it the news sphere or something, but he predicted this like super connection between every human on the planet. Fascinating person. It's really interesting.

• 1:41:53Kurt Metzger?

  Every time you see mysticism pop up, that's how you know it's a goddamn heretic.

• 1:41:58Speaker 04

  You got me. I've never heard of him. I'll have to do some research.

• 1:42:00Speaker 03

  Including Pope Benedict the 16th.

• 1:42:03Kurt Metzger?

  Where?

• 1:42:03Speaker 04

  And Pope Francis.

• 1:42:04Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what?

• 1:42:05Speaker 03

  Some eminent Catholic figures, including Pope Benedict the 16th and Pope Francis.

• 1:42:08Speaker 04

  Positive comments on his ideas.

• 1:42:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, look, Catholic means universal. It's supposed to be a universal church.

• 1:42:13Duncan Trussell?

  Is that what it means?

• 1:42:13Speaker 04

  That's what it means. Universal.

• 1:42:15Kurt Metzger?

  So look, um, just not to.

• 1:42:17Duncan Trussell?

  How are you converting me to Catholicism right now?

• 1:42:20Kurt Metzger?

  Well, Christ said narrow and cramped is the way and few are the ones finding it. So Christianity will never be universal if it's the real thing.

• 1:42:27Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, you hear that?

• 1:42:28Kurt Metzger?

  Christ said that. It's not a curse. He's just saying that's what it is. The thing, so there, all this mysticism and shit is a way, it's like, I've got to digest all these previous pagan beliefs and something and alchemize them into a new thing.

• 1:42:42Duncan Trussell?

  What's wrong with pagan?

• 1:42:43Kurt Metzger?

  What's wrong with, it's like paying retail when you could pay wholesale. It's that stupid. It's, I mean, that's, that's how I look at it. And I know people are going to say I'm a Jew and I'm in the CIA, but I have never been in the CIA and I like.

• 1:42:56Duncan Trussell?

  Why do you lie about being a Jew? You go to the same synagogue.

• 1:42:59Kurt Metzger?

  I don't go there because I'm a Jew. That's not why we go there. We go there to study.

• 1:43:03Duncan Trussell?

  All right. He's not a Jew.

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  I thought you were a hardcore Muslim now. Didn't you say that?

• 1:43:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, you.

• 1:43:07Duncan Trussell?

  Let me just say.

• 1:43:08Kurt Metzger?

  There's free will in religion.

• 1:43:09Duncan Trussell?

  Can I just say this?

• 1:43:09Kurt Metzger?

  As the prophet teaches us, there's no compulsion in religion.

• 1:43:12Duncan Trussell?

  Guys.

• 1:43:12Kurt Metzger?

  There is no compulsion.

• 1:43:14Duncan Trussell?

  Carlos interruptus. I just want you all to know.

• 1:43:16Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know if I believe you about the Muslim thing. I don't know.

• 1:43:17Duncan Trussell?

  The most Jewish man I've ever met. He is a Jew. We go to synagogue together. We go to synagogue together. He's very circumcised. Very circumcised.

• 1:43:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's everybody in the room except these two.

• 1:43:30Duncan Trussell?

  Very.

• 1:43:30Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. I, I haven't seen, but you can show us if you want.

• 1:43:34Speaker 04

  Say, no, no one needs to do that. Baptism is the way to, to, you know, cause in the Old Testament, that was how you became part of the.

• 1:43:40Duncan Trussell?

  We didn't snip our kids.

• 1:43:42Speaker 04

  The covenant.

• 1:43:42Kurt Metzger?

  No, that was a major thing in Paul's letters to the, uh, congregations.

• 1:43:45Speaker 04

  People were saying, do we need to get circumcised before we become Christian?

• 1:43:48Duncan Trussell?

  Stop cutting your children's penises.

• 1:43:49Kurt Metzger?

  Back then, everybody wore a short skirt and bathed together. So the circumcision came up.

• 1:43:54Duncan Trussell?

  That was a revolutionary moment. He's like, maybe you shouldn't snip the tip of your fucking kid's dicks off.

• 1:44:01Kurt Metzger?

  Do you ever go, um, with your outfit, just pull the hood down and do a little circumcision?

• 1:44:07Speaker 03

  You know what I don't like is like when I.

• 1:44:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's, that's European. You ever go American style and just pull that tip down?

• 1:44:14Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 1:44:15Kurt Metzger?

  Pull it off your head. So you just, it's like, like a hood.

• 1:44:18Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, you mean circumcise myself?

• 1:44:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:20Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, sure. Sometimes.

• 1:44:21Kurt Metzger?

  Is it less sensitive?

• 1:44:22Duncan Trussell?

  What? No, but I feel more connected.

• 1:44:24Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I like that. That could be a sweatshirt.

• 1:44:27Duncan Trussell?

  It's the bad, the hot dog outfit is all I, I, I might only wear this from now on on the.

• 1:44:31Kurt Metzger?

  I was looking at it, uh, and I was like, that's a night. I don't want to say you mogged me at it, but.

• 1:44:37Duncan Trussell?

  It's not, it's not your fault, man. It's just a, it's like a.

• 1:44:39Kurt Metzger?

  I got hot mogged.

• 1:44:40Duncan Trussell?

  It was, and it was the last one at Spirit costume. So I got lucky.

• 1:44:44Speaker 03

  I love it. Yeah. Spirit as well here.

• 1:44:46Kurt Metzger?

  You know, if I had a vision of a hot dog that told me to do some stuff, I'd probably do it.

• 1:44:50Duncan Trussell?

  I know you would. Trust me. I know. You forget a lot of stuff we do.

• 1:44:53Kurt Metzger?

  If I ever hit my head around here.

• 1:44:55Duncan Trussell?

  You know that, right? You forget a lot of stuff we do.

• 1:44:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:44:58Duncan Trussell?

  How do you know? You forgot it.

• 1:45:01Kurt Metzger?

  That's the irony of Carlos interrupto. He's the most interrupted of all.

• 1:45:05Duncan Trussell?

  I like your interruptions, Carlos.

• 1:45:07Speaker 03

  On the circumcision thing, I don't like that when you study anatomy textbooks, a lot of the time, have you seen this? Like they're, they're displayed as, uh, as circumcised, like they're not displayed the original way that they're supposed to be.

• 1:45:15Kurt Metzger?

  Well, because it's like it's wearing, uh, I don't want to call it a shroud of Turin, but a shroud.

• 1:45:20Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys pull up what the, the, what they strap babies to to cut their tips of their dicks off?

• 1:45:26Speaker 04

  There's a good, you've probably seen American circumcision. You've seen that documentary?

• 1:45:30Duncan Trussell?

  Part one, two, and three.

• 1:45:32Kurt Metzger?

  I, look, I got a lot of gripes. I don't need a new one about my foreskin.

• 1:45:35Speaker 04

  The, the United States is the only country that does it non-religiously, which is interesting.

• 1:45:39Duncan Trussell?

  It was so weird.

• 1:45:40Speaker 03

  It has to do with Kellogg, is that right? The cereal?

• 1:45:42Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:43Speaker 03

  The cereal guy?

• 1:45:43Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I have a bit of silver wire around, around my.

• 1:45:46Duncan Trussell?

  The board they strap babies to is called a circum strength board.

• 1:45:51Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. We're going to need one of those for the show because we're going to do Buster.

• 1:45:54Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up? No, you're not. You're not going to circumcise me.

• 1:45:58Kurt Metzger?

  Buster there.

• 1:45:59Duncan Trussell?

  I'm unkind. Look at this, guys. Look at this.

• 1:46:03Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, careful.

• 1:46:05Duncan Trussell?

  No, no, no, put me back. No, no, no, I'm done, I'm sleeping.

• 1:46:11Kurt Metzger?

  We're looking for, what's it called? Go back, what's it called?

• 1:46:13Duncan Trussell?

  Circumstray.

• 1:46:15Kurt Metzger?

  They call it a papoose board, but it's called a circum-

• 1:46:17Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up the images, though?

• 1:46:18Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what was the actual name? It's gone.

• 1:46:21Duncan Trussell?

  It's called circum-

• 1:46:22Kurt Metzger?

  We're getting a circumstray-

• 1:46:23Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, hey, guys, I just wanna go back to sleep. I'm okay now. I don't wanna get circumcised, okay?

• 1:46:28Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I don't know if we wanna do it with a bastard sword.

• 1:46:30Duncan Trussell?

  I like my uncut hog. Now, put me back. I wanna go back to-

• 1:46:34Kurt Metzger?

  You see Buster now?

• 1:46:35Duncan Trussell?

  Look what they put him in. They put your baby in that. They take the baby away from you.

• 1:46:39Kurt Metzger?

  Buster, you're gonna be like, ah-

• 1:46:40Duncan Trussell?

  Strap him down and cut his, the tip of his dick off.

• 1:46:43Kurt Metzger?

  Han Solo, frozen in carbon-

• 1:46:45Duncan Trussell?

  How is this legal? This happens.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  This is wild, yeah.

• 1:46:47Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, we gotta get one of them.

• 1:46:48Speaker 03

  There's a reason.

• 1:46:49Duncan Trussell?

  No, you're not gonna get circumstray.

• 1:46:51Kurt Metzger?

  Buster, look, it's perfect for your size.

• 1:46:52Duncan Trussell?

  No, it's not perfect. Leave me alone. Put me back to sleep.

• 1:46:55Kurt Metzger?

  And then we can get to work right around there.

• 1:46:56Duncan Trussell?

  I'm too old to be circumcised anyway. I'm fine the way I am.

• 1:46:59Kurt Metzger?

  A gross turtleneck on your dick.

• 1:47:01Duncan Trussell?

  Don't matter. You don't need it. But take that off. Why don't you guys talk about the dumb old trout again? Let me go back to bed.

• 1:47:07Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that. Look at how it fits him perfectly.

• 1:47:10Duncan Trussell?

  It don't fit me perfectly.

• 1:47:11Kurt Metzger?

  We're gonna do a Korean style as an adult.

• 1:47:13Duncan Trussell?

  Please, no, you guys have been so harsh with me. Look at that shit. What is that? That's not from circum-

• 1:47:17Speaker 03

  Oh, whoa, that's like a cross again, dude. What's going on there?

• 1:47:19Duncan Trussell?

  The papoose board is, what the-

• 1:47:20Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, ah-

• 1:47:21Duncan Trussell?

  What is that? Pull up the crucifix.

• 1:47:23Speaker 03

  Whoa, why is he being crucified as well? What's going on? Oh, my god.

• 1:47:27Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck is this?

• 1:47:28Kurt Metzger?

  What is happening?

• 1:47:30Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta get this for my kids.

• 1:47:31Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:47:33Kurt Metzger?

  It's sold out.

• 1:47:34Speaker 03

  Also, look how expensive-

• 1:47:35Duncan Trussell?

  It's sold out.

• 1:47:36Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what does it say?

• 1:47:37Duncan Trussell?

  Out of stock.

• 1:47:38Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what does it say it's for?

• 1:47:40Duncan Trussell?

  What is, what are you?

• 1:47:44Duncan Trussell?

  It's out of stock. It's 641 bucks. All of them, boys, 39.

• 1:47:54Speaker 03

  Where are we drawing the blood from, though?

• 1:47:55Kurt Metzger?

  Why would you, wait, what? I had blood drawn as a child. They didn't crucify me.

• 1:48:00Duncan Trussell?

  The mystery boys have stumbled upon something so sinister. This is what, this makes way fair look like nothing.

• 1:48:07Kurt Metzger?

  We're gonna test this out on you.

• 1:48:07Duncan Trussell?

  No, you're not. You're gonna put me back in my drawer.

• 1:48:10Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, I don't see why we can't just circumcise and draw blood from him.

• 1:48:13Duncan Trussell?

  No, you can't. Number one.

• 1:48:15Kurt Metzger?

  We don't need two.

• 1:48:16Duncan Trussell?

  I just wanna say, I don't consent to this. And I just wanna go back to sleep.

• 1:48:21Speaker 03

  You don't consent as a child, yeah?

• 1:48:22Kurt Metzger?

  You'll go to sleep.

• 1:48:23Duncan Trussell?

  I'm not a child. I'm 73.

• 1:48:25Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:48:26Kurt Metzger?

  You'll go to sleep with a breeze on your puppet helmet.

• 1:48:28Duncan Trussell?

  You don't know me, motherfucker. I'm old. I'm old. Now, put me back.

• 1:48:33Kurt Metzger?

  Now, what is that shit? Where they, what is that supposed to be?

• 1:48:35Duncan Trussell?

  What? That's just to calm him down.

• 1:48:38Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what?

• 1:48:39Duncan Trussell?

  That's for shipping.

• 1:48:40Kurt Metzger?

  Why is it Olympic?

• 1:48:41Duncan Trussell?

  That's for shipping.

• 1:48:42Kurt Metzger?

  Is this for the Olympics?

• 1:48:43Duncan Trussell?

  That's shipping.

• 1:48:44Kurt Metzger?

  What is happening?

• 1:48:45Duncan Trussell?

  Now, what have you found? We have found, look, look, there they are, wrapping them up.

• 1:48:50Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck is that?

• 1:48:52Duncan Trussell?

  It's horrible is what it is.

• 1:48:54Kurt Metzger?

  You go down there.

• 1:48:55Duncan Trussell?

  Ow, what the fuck, man?

• 1:48:57Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I wanna know.

• 1:48:58Duncan Trussell?

  Ow!

• 1:48:58Speaker 03

  We don't do this in my field. That's what I was saying.

• 1:49:00Duncan Trussell?

  I can't feel my legs.

• 1:49:03Kurt Metzger?

  What, what, dude?

• 1:49:04Speaker 03

  Well, you know what's interesting?

• 1:49:05Duncan Trussell?

  Well, this is for restraining kids. What else do you need to know?

• 1:49:10Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, what is, I don't understand. Who buys these?

• 1:49:14Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys-

• 1:49:15Kurt Metzger?

  I've never seen one in my life.

• 1:49:16Duncan Trussell?

  Will you guys do a Google image search for a bondage cross?

• 1:49:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, no.

• 1:49:22Duncan Trussell?

  This dominatrix I did a podcast with had one of these.

• 1:49:25Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:49:28Duncan Trussell?

  St. Andrews. Yeah, pull up the image search, image search.

• 1:49:31Speaker 03

  He has a saying name for it. I don't, oh, no.

• 1:49:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, see?

• 1:49:33Kurt Metzger?

  No, but that's a cat.

• 1:49:34Duncan Trussell?

  That's the adult, that's the adult version. I wouldn't call it blasphemy, cuz it's not in the crucifix. It's an X.

• 1:49:39Speaker 03

  This is gonna be, this is gonna be in there. Saint Andrew got crucified as in that position.

• 1:49:43Kurt Metzger?

  What did Jesus get crucified on? Because they were like, I mean, Joseph was big on it's not a cross. It was probably like a tree or an X or a pole.

• 1:49:51Speaker 03

  It was a-

• 1:49:52Kurt Metzger?

  But I don't know what-

• 1:49:53Speaker 03

  What he carried was called the patibulum. It was just like the beam. It wasn't necessarily the whole T.

• 1:49:58Kurt Metzger?

  An anti-masturbation cross. Is that really what that is? Somebody is making that up.

• 1:50:02Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's bullshit.

• 1:50:03Kurt Metzger?

  Cuz that makes more sense than what it was for.

• 1:50:05Speaker 03

  Right. That's the, that's the crosses from Dune, by the way. Part three. Have you seen the trailer for that?

• 1:50:11Duncan Trussell?

  No, can you pull up Dune part three?

• 1:50:13Kurt Metzger?

  Was there a cross in Dune?

• 1:50:14Speaker 03

  Dune part three, yeah. I, I haven't read the books or like, but I'm-

• 1:50:18Duncan Trussell?

  Doom or Dune?

• 1:50:19Speaker 03

  Dune, part three.

• 1:50:20Kurt Metzger?

  No, don't put dominatrix.

• 1:50:22Speaker 03

  Just cross, just cross.

• 1:50:23Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I guess it came up.

• 1:50:24Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wow. Look at this. Well, I'll be damned.

• 1:50:27Speaker 03

  This is coming up, yeah.

• 1:50:28Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:50:30Kurt Metzger?

  This is what the Wachowski brothers turned into sisters on.

• 1:50:34Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. Look, I, I've gotta say, you guys are super cool. I think I'll, I'll convert to Catholicism, not because of you guys, no offense, because of Kurt.

• 1:50:42Speaker 03

  Okay, there you go.

• 1:50:43Duncan Trussell?

  But I feel like you've testified, you didn't even know it, but you're a tool. You know what? You, you're like a useful idiot for Jesus, and you don't even realize it, Mr. Brain. You don't even know you exude the Holy Spirit.

• 1:50:54Kurt Metzger?

  Useful idiot for Jesus is just fine. I pray for that. Useful idiot for the Pope? No. All right.

• 1:50:59Duncan Trussell?

  We'll get you.

• 1:51:00Kurt Metzger?

  With what? More fucking magic relics and shit?

• 1:51:03Duncan Trussell?

  We're gonna get you.

• 1:51:04Speaker 03

  I love how it's we, uh, we're now, yeah, we're on the team, yeah. You're on the same team now, yeah.

• 1:51:08Kurt Metzger?

  Um, and who's this? Prince Louis of, somebody who's not Jesus? Who's this fucking caucasoid?

• 1:51:13Duncan Trussell?

  That is a prince, isn't it?

• 1:51:15Kurt Metzger?

  The beautiful black man I know is-

• 1:51:18Speaker 03

  King of kings.

• 1:51:21Kurt Metzger?

  Um, okay, uh, so-

• 1:51:23Speaker 03

  Jesus said, circumcise your heart, by the way. That's, the cap to that conversation was, not literally, but it's, you said what?

• 1:51:29Duncan Trussell?

  Circumcise your heart? What does that mean? That's gonna be one thing Jesus said or-

• 1:51:33Kurt Metzger?

  Take the covering off of your heart.

• 1:51:35Speaker 03

  Oh, got it, got it.

• 1:51:36Kurt Metzger?

  That makes it smell. I don't know.

• 1:51:38Speaker 03

  People can look that up. Y'all are on the same wavelength, you know, but yeah.

• 1:51:40Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, it's a, it's a, basically, a permanent identifier of yourself.

• 1:51:44Speaker 03

  It's, it's internal, it's, it's interior.

• 1:51:46Kurt Metzger?

  So in your heart, you're like, I'm permanently different than, I've been altered permanently. I, I would assume is what it means, but I'm just an interrupter.

• 1:51:54Duncan Trussell?

  Your interruptions are great.

• 1:51:56Speaker 03

  You're a converter now.

• 1:51:57Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, I like your interruptions. I love you, man.

• 1:51:59Kurt Metzger?

  In the tech industry, they like disruptors, but-

• 1:52:01Duncan Trussell?

  I like you.

• 1:52:02Kurt Metzger?

  Let me tell you the next phase, interruption.

• 1:52:03Duncan Trussell?

  I like your interruptions.

• 1:52:04Kurt Metzger?

  Tech interruptions.

• 1:52:06Duncan Trussell?

  I want you to, I know, now it'd be sad if you stopped interrupting, Kurt. I didn't mean to shame you.

• 1:52:10Kurt Metzger?

  You'd have to, it'd be like the end of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. You'd have to smother me with a pillow and then-

• 1:52:15Duncan Trussell?

  Never stop interrupting, baby, please.

• 1:52:18Kurt Metzger?

  Then jump out of the fucking window of the asylum.

• 1:52:19Duncan Trussell?

  Never stop.

• 1:52:20Kurt Metzger?

  In a hot dog outfit?

• 1:52:21Duncan Trussell?

  She interrupt till the end of time.

• 1:52:23Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, you get what I'm saying, though.

• 1:52:24Speaker 03

  How'd you get a picture of my bedroom?

• 1:52:28Duncan Trussell?

  There you go. There you go. And we're, we, and by the way, we're gonna dub you guys official mystery boys after this episode. Take the sword.

• 1:52:38Speaker 03

  You will knight us?

• 1:52:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, with a sword?

• 1:52:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:40Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, the interrupticus is-

• 1:52:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:52:43Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, do the interrupticus.

• 1:52:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:52:44Duncan Trussell?

  First, we have to cross swords. You know what I mean? You don't remember.

• 1:52:50Speaker 03

  Go over the shoulder.

• 1:52:51Duncan Trussell?

  We now hereby, in the name of mystery itself-

• 1:52:54Kurt Metzger?

  Magna patru, interrupta. That means the divine uncle.

• 1:52:58Duncan Trussell?

  And thou art dubbed-

• 1:53:01Kurt Metzger?

  That's from the Magnus Patrus.

• 1:53:03Duncan Trussell?

  You are both now mystery boys. Welcome to the family. You can never get out now.

• 1:53:07Kurt Metzger?

  Well, Mr. Ekins is what we have.

• 1:53:09Duncan Trussell?

  And you have to tithe to us.

• 1:53:11Speaker 03

  Tithe, 10%?

• 1:53:13Kurt Metzger?

  And we-

• 1:53:14Duncan Trussell?

  It's actually 15.

• 1:53:15Speaker 03

  Oh, boy, it's gone out.

• 1:53:16Kurt Metzger?

  We will do arbitration for any disputes which were was in, in burning.

• 1:53:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:20Kurt Metzger?

  On Friday the 13th, the same day as your boy Ignatius of Jock de Mole.

• 1:53:25Duncan Trussell?

  And thanks for being on the show, you guys.

• 1:53:27Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Appreciate y'all.

• 1:53:30Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you don't take our word for anything. Go to your local library, crank one out, clear your head, go back and look it up on your phone.

• 1:53:43Speaker 06

  Mystery boys are so killers for you. Betty Cool Rocky, they bring me engage. Spooky ghosts for me, sex fighter, ooh. Frank Garden style, I tackle you. Hey, big foot, oh fuck, who are you? Hey, rockness monster, man, fucker you. Mystery boys, they strong, who resolve dispute, take you fool me, these boys fuck, hey.

• 1:54:24Speaker 06

  Mystery boys do sex, ghosts very hot, go scene, then say, get off our yacht, ghost so mean. Go swimming home, very dishonorable. Cry in ocean, boo, so sad, ah. Hey, big foot, oh fuck, who are you? Hey, rockness monster, man, fucker you. Mystery boys, better humble, winna, believe it from me, these boys fuck.

• 1:55:04Speaker 06

  Mystery boys go in nightclub, run by werewolves. nightclub of hairy monster, howling loud, hairy swerves. Long story short, they kill all werewolves. Save hot chick, she very beauty and sexy curve. But werewolf, she turn out to twist surprise, oh no. Mystery boys, must you mean light her on fire, sad but necessary end.

• 1:55:50Speaker 07

  Red Band is watching.

• 1:55:52Speaker 00

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• 1:56:01Speaker 00

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