Ep 593 - Nollywood (feat. Ben Avery & Kevin Iso)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Ben Devan and Jace @ https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live y00o0oo. Dang we haven't casted since 2025. haha just a joke. Podes are back - nbd nbd. We got Benny while he's in town and Iso - two of our great broz. We talk somalis and some other things. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt McCusker?

  Chinese girlfriend.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Just lead with it, just lead with it.

• 0:08Matt McCusker?

  Chinese girlfriend.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Fuck, this guy's a genius. I heard him for three seconds and now I can't forget it.

• 0:16Matt McCusker?

  I know. Chinese girlfriend. How sad would you be though, dude? You're like a maybe 55 year old black dude and you lose your Chinese girlfriend. That would kill me. I just feel like more so, and again, you correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like, you know, if I had a Chinese girlfriend, I mean, I'm married, my family would probably disapprove, but if I had a Chinese girlfriend, my family would be like, kind of sick, I might get a couple of like, Chinese girlfriend, but I feel like in a black family to have a Chinese girlfriend, you'd get a mega high five. Correct me if I'm wrong. From the unks.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  From the, oh, from the men. Oh, yeah, the men would, they'd be like, you did it right.

• 0:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  The men would definitely. The women, eh.

• 0:59Matt McCusker?

  They don't like that, do they? I think all women don't like seeing their man of race date a other race. Women are quietly racist against, they don't like interracial stuff.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  You think white women mind?

• 1:12Matt McCusker?

  Oh, they do. I know they do.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Oh, they do? Oh, I didn't think they cared.

• 1:15Matt McCusker?

  They're, no, they get mad. They'll tease. They'll get like three glasses of wine and be like, so damn black girl.

• 1:24Matt McCusker?

  Are you afraid she's gonna like beat you up? They get like a couple glasses of white, white wine. And all their dad's information just trickles out.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  You're afraid he's gonna beat you up?

• 1:36Matt McCusker?

  Is he gonna hit you? I've, I've been, you know, I'm in an age gap interracial relationship, so I know.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Is it, you think it's, you think it's harder, you think it's harder to lose your girlfriend when you're older or younger?

• 1:49Matt McCusker?

  To, you mean lose?

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause you said it's pretty rough on a 55 year old dude.

• 1:54Matt McCusker?

  To lose your Asian girlfriend? Ah, man.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  I think it's rough for when you're young.

• 1:58Matt McCusker?

  Younger, yeah, you lose them easier when you're younger. Yeah, you get.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  If you lose the.

• 2:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, pre 30, every girl's a kind of free agent. Once they kind of hit thirty, then they start going like, alright, let me nestle into the sitch.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:11Matt McCusker?

  Cause you know.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  But then, but then when you're young and you lose them, you didn't really ever really have them, even though you thought you did.

• 2:17Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  When you old and you lose them, you had that.

• 2:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  And it's gone.

• 2:22Matt McCusker?

  And that's your final form. She was like, I've seen, the flower has fully bloomed and no thank you for me.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  That's all you got.

• 2:30Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna take my chances dating as a fifty year old woman, which probably is no picnic if I had to imagine.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, people say like, you know, before you date a woman, just like look at her mother.

• 2:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I'm like, I'm not gonna do that.

• 2:43Matt McCusker?

  I thought the saying was fap to her mother.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:46Matt McCusker?

  I thought it was before you date a woman, try to fap to her mother.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  And if you. Crank one off. The night before the wedding, pull up a big photo of her on an iPad. Zoom in on her Facebook.

• 2:57Matt McCusker?

  That's what I thought the saying was.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  I never heard that.

• 3:00Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, that's a bachelor, that's the last hurrah of your bachelor party. You and all your boys.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  But does that mean you like truly love your wife that you fuck your mom? You go, ah, baby, I love you so much. I would eat your mom's pussy.

• 3:17Matt McCusker?

  I mean, I don't, I mean, that is one form, I guess, but that is the saying, like, yo, if you think her mom's hot, that's what her daughters, that's what her daughters are gonna look like.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, and sometimes they don't pan out.

• 3:28Matt McCusker?

  I would like the opposite. I like to have a very attractive woman with an absolutely busted mom and just sit on the edge of my seat for like fifteen years.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Waiting for it.

• 3:36Matt McCusker?

  Just to watch the change. Just to see the transformation.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  That's Italians.

• 3:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  That's Italians. You just wait for that meatball to cook in the oven, you know?

• 3:46Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  She looks like. Oh, is it all, sorry, it is all fucked up?

• 3:49Matt McCusker?

  It's okay. We got a little technical difficulties.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Do we have phone books maybe to, or I can do this.

• 3:53Matt McCusker?

  No, we can't have that.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  You got a cowboy mic?

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Hey, yo.

• 3:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you got it. I'm not having, am I having problems because I'm tall as hell either or no?

• 4:06Matt McCusker?

  Now my mic's fine. I think I have a different mic to catch this. Dude, thanks for doing it, man. Ben Avery, Kevin Iso. Thank you, Matt. Hell yeah, man. Thank you guys for coming. Uh, Sean was telling me that you had some hot takes on the Ethiopian scandal.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  See, you don't even got the right.

• 4:21Matt McCusker?

  No, Somali, my bad, dude. I, no, I did. I'm more Ethiopian, I think. Somali, Somali. Sorry, I just, dude, I get a little nervous sometimes. Been here for 10 years. It's a hot button issue.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:32Matt McCusker?

  The Somali and... That's what Cardini pitched me. He goes, "The Isotope has some takes on the..."

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I feel like they've all been said at this point.

• 4:42Matt McCusker?

  No, no.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  But my, my thing with it is, uh, it's twofold, right? One is like, they definitely scamming.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  But...

• 4:52Matt McCusker?

  It's a matter of fact, I think.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's happening, but at the same time, that doesn't exclude dude from being racist about going about the way he did it.

• 5:01Matt McCusker?

  Talking about the dude Shirley.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:03Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, that was, so I watched the video. So I didn't know anything about it. So I'm like, alright, let's see what we have here. And I read up on it first and I was like, yeah, for sure. There's, there's like matter of record scams going on for sure. But that dude was pulling on daycare doors.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:18Matt McCusker?

  And being like, "Where are the children?" And they're like, "Bro, get out of here." And he's like, "I fucking told you this was a scam." You're like, "You're legally, they're supposed to be locked."

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:27Matt McCusker?

  It's... If you have a kid in daycare, it's locked doors and you're like, "Please don't let them see into this building."

• 5:32Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 5:32Matt McCusker?

  I don't want weirdos staring in. I've never been allowed into daycare. You have kids. You know what I mean? You gotta come with that right energy and be like, "Where the fuck are the kids? Where there's taxpayer money?" Exactly. Or, and filming the kids too, which is... It's illegal. Which is like... You can't do that. Yeah, I don't think, I really don't think you allow, I mean, you, I guess you could technically film them, but you can't do anything with the footage. Like, even a daycare has to, as a parent, ask you if it's okay if they take pictures of your kids.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:00Matt McCusker?

  So if I roll in with the Metta's and I'm like, "Show me the fucking children. Let me in now."

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 6:05Matt McCusker?

  With like a 60-year-old guy. He's just waving documents. The video was insane. I watched it being like, oh man, they're gonna blow my socks off with the scandal. And I was like, this guy's out of his fucking mind. You're not, he's wrong. You're not allowed. I mean, again, it's like, yes, there's clearly massive fraud in Minnesota.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:23Matt McCusker?

  He's acting like he blew the lid off. It's like, bro, you're like a year and a half late.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Right, cuz they already caught the lady that was originally doing it.

• 6:30Matt McCusker?

  Well dude, there was that, there was also, there was the autism centers, that got busted. And then there was that.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  What happened in autism centers?

• 6:36Matt McCusker?

  It's just, you make a building like this, imagine if we all down here like, yeah, we're working on autism kids. And they came down, we're just doing a podcast, making like a million dollars.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Somebody gotta start counting shit fast. Oh fuck, they here, three, four.

• 6:49Matt McCusker?

  The big, the biggest, the biggest scam, and again, these are just the ones that get caught. There was one for 250 million dollars recently, where during the, during covid, they were getting government funds. It was called like Feed the Future or something. And dude, these, it was like, I think like 60 people got arrested. They were just taking money, and it was, unfortunately, it was mostly Somali dudes. But they were taking the money and they took like 250 mil, in just like food bank money. And they like, you know, they tracked everything. It was, they were saying they bought, they gave money to the, whatever that terrorist organization is. They, but they, they did a deep dive, it was just sick whips. And went to warlords and stuff? They, no, it didn't. They said it was, but they like did a deep dive and it was apparently just like sick ass Lamborghinis and shit.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  But see, so, okay.

• 7:33Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda tight.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, and that's, that's, that's where one of the dudes like messed up at, cuz they like, he got in front of the learning center. And he was like, yeah, this is a, this is an, this is a legit business. And then they went on his Instagram. He was in pictures with like Lambos and stuff. It's like, damn, I don't know no daycare.

• 7:52Matt McCusker?

  I think he pulled up on the Uber Eats order like, skirt! And dude's like, yo, where the fuck is that?

• 7:58Matt McCusker?

  Yo, what you get that with?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  But that that's my thing with, okay, so you said the the feeding center or whatever and they took.

• 8:04Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude, there is massive.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Right. There's massive fraud.

• 8:08Matt McCusker?

  And they busted it. They like, they got them.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 8:12Matt McCusker?

  I mean.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I personally, I just don't care about people stealing my taxpayer dollars.

• 8:19Matt McCusker?

  That's a fair point.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  I don't know where them shits is going anywhere. So what the fuck, they stealing the money that we took from you that you don't know what we doing with it?

• 8:27Matt McCusker?

  To be fair, somebody's gonna steal your taxpayer dollars. Like that's, I think people need to wake up to that reality. If it's not that blatant, it's gonna be a bazillion nonprofits who are going like, we just need a hundred thousand more and they just fucking pocket it.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Right. And it's already, or it's going to the war shit and it's like, I don't know where this shit is going at all, bro. Y'all don't send me no kind of update after I pay this money about, yo, this is what this is doing here.

• 8:51Matt McCusker?

  The Venezuela shit's, I don't know, the Venezuela shit's been like, pretty open as far as wars go. They're like, yeah, we just took their oil. They're not even hiding it. Before, like Iraq was like, we're going there just for the oil. Like, remember not? And they're like, yeah, we went there for the oil and we fucking got it.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Oh, they saying that now?

• 9:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they just said like, we took, we seized their oil. They went in there, they had the Venice, what, Maduro, I guess his name was, was the, they were like, he was a tyrant and, you know, they're like, we just couldn't stand, you know, stand with that guy being a tyrant and like, smuggling drugs into our country. So we just stole all of their, we stole like a lot of their oil and we're just gonna take over their oil industry.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm glad they being honest.

• 9:24Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  I thought, I thought he was lying for a little bit, because they were talking about the drug situation.

• 9:30Matt McCusker?

  I mean.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  What do they need oil for?

• 9:32Matt McCusker?

  Venezuela?

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:33Matt McCusker?

  Did traffic drugs?

• 9:34Speaker 01

  We need it.

• 9:36Matt McCusker?

  Gas into a boat.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Fucking worry, this Grant F. Thado ass country.

• 9:41Matt McCusker?

  No, that's a fair take. You don't, so you were seeing a lot of the stuff about like, fuck, this is bullshit. And you're like, yeah, I don't, I don't care that they're scam, let them scam.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't know. Okay, yeah, I don't care that they're scamming, but also, I don't care where my taxpayer dollars go, if they're scamming that kind of money. I'd rather them scam that money than my money that I'm investing. Like, whenever these white dudes is doing they fraud, it's money that you actually gave to Enron. It's like my real money. I'd rather you take the money that was already about to be taken.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Did they, you know what I mean? I don't know where it's going. So, you know, but, uh, they definitely, they definitely, I'm not.

• 10:23Matt McCusker?

  There's some six year old white dudes in Minnesota right now who are furious with that take.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 10:30Matt McCusker?

  Sweating in a waz.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  He don't know where his taxpayer dollars is going. He don't even know where his shit go. Oh, they taking the money, my money? No, it's not. Your money is, you don't know where the fuck your money at. But my other thing, so with the, with the, with the racism shit. It's just like, it's like, it's like, uh, when I was used to like walking the stores and like they would follow me around. Like, oh, this black guy stealing. And then it's like, oh, you following me around, this is racism. And I was stealing too. But that's what the, that's what the Minnesota shit remind me of. It's like, yeah, it's racist, but eh.

• 11:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think they went the other way. I think the Minnesota government was like, how dare you say that? And then it came out where it was like, fuck.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:11Matt McCusker?

  We got, because they could have totally, that's not a hard thing to check with like the autism centers and stuff. You send out a couple of people with clipboards, be like, how many people we got in here? All right, we're good. But I think they were kind of like, we trust you. And they got fucking leveled.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, the problem, I mean, the problem with that shit too is that they, they just put in all Somalis now. And it's like across the country. Cause there's a couple of Somali homies I got out here.

• 11:35Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 11:36Speaker 01

  That people are like, yo, they just looking at they foreheads.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  They just looking at they foreheads like, yo, you Somali? It's rough out here for y'all right now. It's like, damn. Which, which, I mean, that's just, that's the, that's the part about it that just.

• 11:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  That stings the most.

• 11:54Matt McCusker?

  That's tough, but I mean, here's the thing though, like as a, like a black American, do you ever think about just like totally just ostracizing them and coming up off, like dunking on them racially?

• 12:03Speaker 01

  No, I'm Nigerian.

• 12:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you mother, well, that's what I'm saying.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 12:06Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so you're Nigerian, you're, you're from Nigeria?

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, my parents are.

• 12:10Matt McCusker?

  I'm Nigerian by marriage, so I totally get it. Don't, my wife's, her family's Nigerian.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 12:15Matt McCusker?

  I've been to a Nigerian wedding, they're fucking sick.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:17Matt McCusker?

  Lay on the ground.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  I was just at one a couple of months ago.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  Beg the father of the bride.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Oh, you did? Oh.

• 12:23Matt McCusker?

  I didn't, I wanted to, I asked to do it too, they're like, no, you gotta chill, but.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  You didn't have a Nigerian wedding?

• 12:27Matt McCusker?

  No, no, she's like, you know, she's not like, her like grandmother supposedly is, but you know.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:33Matt McCusker?

  They're not from where, you know, where from, but.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  This is the map of the daycares. It was four thousand in a 20 mile radius.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Are these the ones that are fraud, fraud, that's not, that's, that's a lot of guys.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  So here's the thing, when I hear, when people go.

• 12:50Matt McCusker?

  Why are some red and why are some green?

• 12:52Speaker 03

  I'm not sure, but somewhere in the middle of the water too.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Well, they are pirates, right? Makes sense. I personally, when everybody went up to the daycare, when people went up to the daycares, they're like, there's no kids in the Somali and daycares. I was like, I was relieved. I was like, thank God there's no children. It's like worst case scenario. When, thank, like, thank God they're empty.

• 13:15Matt McCusker?

  Were you worried, were you worried they like chiseled out?

• 13:18Speaker 02

  They're pirates.

• 13:18Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were worried.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  They have eye patches.

• 13:20Matt McCusker?

  They chiseled out the cement floors and were mining lithium.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  When did they, when did they run into these daycares too? That's the, that's my other thing because I saw this shit on Christmas.

• 13:32Matt McCusker?

  I mean.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  It was like, it ain't nobody in the daycare. I'm like, it's the holiday.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  Supposedly there's, supposedly this video is debunking it. I didn't go looking for it.

• 13:41Matt McCusker?

  Well, the, so here's the thing too.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  And I'm pro pirate. I've always loved pirates. I'm a big fan. Who doesn't love pirates?

• 13:48Matt McCusker?

  True. That's fair. My, so the video itself, apparently, and this, I was curious too because they looked into it and it was like, no, these were all legit daycares. Cause I guess, whatever, Minnesota state came through, Minnesota Vikings came through and just like, no, these are all check out. And then you go, okay, well, is this like a government cover up? Like the Democrats being like, dude, we can't take another political hit. It's going to be an election year. But then it's like, apparently it's, I think they were legitimately running because dude, like Republican, like lawyers, they were, the moment that video came out, there was probably a bazillion lawyers like digging in and all that stuff. So if it wasn't above board, they would have, I think they would have cracked it. You know what I mean?

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:29Matt McCusker?

  Cause they were like the, you know, if you get like the Republican guys, they're super motivated to like prove that there are scams. It just looks good.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  It's a big slam dunk.

• 14:37Matt McCusker?

  Huge slam dunk, 360 slam dunk. But they already got the slam dunk. A young YouTuber went in for like a weird victory lap.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 14:44Matt McCusker?

  And it worked. Tim Walz quit. Tim Walz.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I saw that. I saw that.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  And he, it was a headshot.

• 14:49Matt McCusker?

  It was a headshot. And he, hey, Walz is like, and that guy went on like, I ended Walz.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Well, and reality is kind of memed into existence anyway. So it doesn't really matter what's true. So he had, he had to take the L. I don't even know if it's, it's real or not. Have you actually found out, like, the real, like, definitive?

• 15:06Matt McCusker?

  I looked it up. There's, there was a definitive scam. People were prosecuted for $250 million. You have to think, like, say you're selling drugs, when that finally gets busted, you don't bust them right away. So it was, they were probably rocking.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  They were running it for a while.

• 15:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They were rocking.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  They rob us at sea and they rob us at land.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Did you see the lady?

• 15:27Speaker 02

  They, uh.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  You, you, you, oh, go ahead.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  No, no, go ahead.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Finish the bit. No, no, no.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Get it out, get it out.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Kevin Iso, please have the floor.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Get it out, get it out.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Look, he wanted someone on to defend the, the pirates and, um.

• 15:39Matt McCusker?

  No, it wasn't it. I thought it was just a funny take, because I didn't know anything about it. And Gargini was like, yeah, I so want to talk about this.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Definitely, I'm definitely passionate about it.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  I'm all for scams. I mean, we live in a bureaucracy, right? And like, that's, scams are supposed to be hidden within the bureaucratic state. That's why it exists, so they can do all their scams.

• 15:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  So, uh, when other people are scam, I mean, everybody's scamming. Nancy Pelosi's scamming, you know? We're paying for health insurance for Israelis for some reason, apparently.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Tax dollars.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  It's going everywhere. It's going everywhere but us, to our roads, to our children, to our, so, you know? Go pirates.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Did you, did you see, which is, which is a fair point, by the way, everybody scamming. It's just that when you, when it's so obvious what the scam is.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  That's when everybody get a little tight. We're like, yo, you, there ain't no kids in the daycare. It's like, uh.

• 16:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Versus, versus the bank fraud scam where it's hard to see. You walk into the bank, it look like it's real shit.

• 16:33Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  And then you pull the thing down and it's, I don't know.

• 16:36Matt McCusker?

  Pulled off a little better. Yeah. And also too, like, you have to think, if you're, I mean, I don't know, I don't know really much about Minnesota, but you can never underestimate just like an older, kind of angry, like, white, old white guy.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:48Matt McCusker?

  There were eyes on those fucking guys.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:50Matt McCusker?

  They're, they had eyes on the Somalis from day one.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, for sure.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  He was on to them immediately.

• 16:56Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck is it? And they just, they just got stared at for 10 years until a guy was like, hold on a second, I noticed something here.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Come on, man. You know how many times I've seen Fargo and seen one Somali in inside that shit?

• 17:08Matt McCusker?

  What, in the movie you're saying, in the show?

• 17:10Speaker 01

  All of it. Is Fargo in Minnesota?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  I think it's the Dakotas, yeah.

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  Dakota, Dakota, yeah.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  I think, maybe.

• 17:16Matt McCusker?

  I think, I think Minnesota's like-

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Minnesota, maybe, I don't know.

• 17:19Matt McCusker?

  Minnesota might have like the biggest Somali population.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they, uh, they, they, they, they let the men-

• 17:26Matt McCusker?

  Sanctuary, yeah.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sanctuary, right.

• 17:28Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Cause they're scamming.

• 17:30Matt McCusker?

  No, they did Sanctuary City.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Did you see the, did you see the, um, the kid on CNN?

• 17:37Matt McCusker?

  Which is the kid who did the video?

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see the CNN interview?

• 17:40Matt McCusker?

  What was he doing?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Y'all can't play that shit on here?

• 17:42Speaker 02

  You talking about Nick Shirley?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  He looks so dumb on there.

• 17:45Matt McCusker?

  Who, Shirley?

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:46Matt McCusker?

  How old is Nick Shirley?

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Like, 21.

• 17:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he, that's the thing, he's a youngster.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a kid.

• 17:50Matt McCusker?

  He's a youngster.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  He kinda end over his head a little bit.

• 17:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's drunk on YouTube now.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Who the fuck is this old guy that's next to him?

• 17:56Matt McCusker?

  The old guy, dude, the old guy-

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Waving papers.

• 17:59Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the old guy has a thousand pages of loose leaf or he's been tracking Somalis. He is, that guy's not fucking around.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  He's been thinking about preschools way before this scam ever happened.

• 18:11Matt McCusker?

  Well, no, the thing that, the thing that they didn't mention though, they brought up in the video, which again, to the, to the video's point, like, yes, they had a, they have a major problem with Somali scamming in Minnesota. But then there was like these just vehicles that were like, hey, we can, we just drive people around for medical appointments. But then they were like, they're not checking, and again, I don't know if this guy's, if that's true or not.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  I heard him say that.

• 18:31Matt McCusker?

  He's like, but that's, that's, that's in every city, dude. Home, the home care hustle's like the oldest thing in the world.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 18:37Matt McCusker?

  Just chill with your aunt and get 30 bucks an hour.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 18:40Matt McCusker?

  Everywhere, that's everywhere.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:41Matt McCusker?

  Which, again, kinda chill. I honestly think the home care thing's kinda, that's kinda nice.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  It's a good scam.

• 18:48Matt McCusker?

  It's a really good scam.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  It's a really good scam, and it's like a low-stakes scam for real. Like, even the daycare thing, it's a low-stakes thing for, like, if you say that you got 50 kids in a daycare, but you really got 25, who you hurting?

• 19:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, those other 25 kids, they should be in there.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, they're, they're printing so much money every month anyway now, it's-

• 19:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Money's not real anymore. I'm kidding, it'd be all right.

• 19:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, hey, look, tell that to fucking, uh, what's the guy's name again?

• 19:16Matt McCusker?

  Shirley, Shirley's gonna be on your fucking ass dude, he's gonna end you. You're next, you're on the Shirley hit list.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  That guy, I'm skeptical of that guy's video. There's clearly like fraud of some kind, but the, he had a video with Joe Biden where he was holding up immigration signs and shit.

• 19:31Matt McCusker?

  Who was this one?

• 19:32Speaker 02

  He was paying immigrants to hold up signs that said like, we're for Joe Biden because he's gonna have open borders. And like Nick Shirley copped to that, that he was paying people in the video to look like.

• 19:40Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 19:41Speaker 02

  So he stages stuff in his videos, but that doesn't mean it's not on, that it's untrue. It just means he embellishes things.

• 19:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  See, he's scamming the scammers.

• 19:50Matt McCusker?

  Sure, I mean, he definitely came up. And again, the video, I, I watched it. I gave it an honest look and I was like, dude, this is.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  It's weird.

• 19:56Matt McCusker?

  Like every, I was like, I was trying to look at the comments to see if there'd be one person being like, yeah, you're not allowed to just barge into it. Everyone's like, get him, brother.

• 20:06Matt McCusker?

  I'd be, if that was my kid's daycare, someone was kicking in the door and they were like, I'm so sorry, sir, please tour the facilities. I'd be like, dude, I'm taking my kids out here.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  Objectively funny, leering daycare center. Objectively funny. Missing that in objectively hilarious.

• 20:25Matt McCusker?

  Well, there's still, to be fair, there's still just leering. So there's obviously there's, there's improvement. There's improvements to be made. We're all lifelong students.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Why aren't there like the parents of the kids coming out? Like if there was kids there, like Matt said, he'd be like, he'd be like, oh.

• 20:42Matt McCusker?

  Cause the kids are gonna be in the daycare with them.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:45Matt McCusker?

  And also they're probably scamming too, a little bit. So they're probably like, dude, get the fuck out of here.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  And also how we know it wasn't overnight daycare? How we know it's not?

• 20:58Speaker 02

  Cause some people are in night school.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  How we know it's not a daycare for strippers?

• 21:04Matt McCusker?

  That is always, that's always sad when I see, you see that in Philly sometimes. You're driving through a neighborhood and you see the daycare hours and it's like 2am pickup and you're like, God.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:15Matt McCusker?

  They legit have like midnight pickup on daycare.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  How we know they don't get paid in ones?

• 21:23Matt McCusker?

  True, you gotta drop-

• 21:24Speaker 01

  We're not looking at this the right way.

• 21:26Matt McCusker?

  He's gotta drop the Crown Royal sack full of ones, everybody.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  No, I work at a daycare, I swear. I swear. I swear I watch kids. You watch kids with this? Hold on.

• 21:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, look, maybe we should have a live cam in a Somali daycare 24/7. Everybody nice as a pedophile watching that being like, there we go. Things are about to change.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  I don't think pedophiles like Somali kids.

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  Ah, I don't know. You don't think so?

• 21:55Speaker 01

  I'm just, I don't, I don't.

• 21:57Matt McCusker?

  You don't think they like it?

• 21:57Speaker 02

  I think Kevin's right on this one.

• 21:59Matt McCusker?

  You don't think so?

• 22:00Speaker 02

  I looked into Michael Aquino and Country Walker Presidio, McMartin, and there's no Somalis mentioned in any of Tim Tate's books or anything.

• 22:07Matt McCusker?

  You think it's, nevermind, that's a bad comparison.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  When it comes to satanic ritual abuse, you know.

• 22:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Usually there's not a Somali involved.

• 22:15Matt McCusker?

  They're just kinda like, ugh, too gamey.

• 22:23Matt McCusker?

  Maybe pedophiles say that, I don't know.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  We want Kevin. We want Kevin. It's funny to be mad about daycares now, though. Like the satanic panic and everything in the 80s and the 90s, you know?

• 22:34Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, I should've kept that to myself.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Oh, no, it's fine. It's, we're podcasting.

• 22:39Matt McCusker?

  Wait, so here's the thing, though. From like, okay, Nigerian, right?

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:44Matt McCusker?

  So you-

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Excellent scammers.

• 22:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And they're also like Nigerians. I'm, I'm a big proponent of Nigerian excellence. In terms of mathematics, all that stuff. As a Nigerian, wouldn't you like just see a Somali and be like, pssst? Or is it like more unity than that? Cause that's like, I know Ethiopians and Somalis. Ethiopians and Somali.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  They don't like each other?

• 23:02Matt McCusker?

  Uh, I think there's a bit of a-

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Everybody, everybody beefs, but then, like, on, when, when you outside, when you off the, off the continent, I think there's a little bit more unity.

• 23:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  You know, but on it, it is a little bit of, you know, everybody, people beef with, they, Nigerians that hate other Nigerians.

• 23:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's fair. It's like Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right. The closer you are, the worse it feels like it really is. But Nigerian scamming, I hope they don't start looking at, into that shit.

• 23:31Matt McCusker?

  Well-

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Nick, stay away.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  They will fuck us up.

• 23:39Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I actually looked into, um, I was, I was, I went to a Nigerian restaurant one time and I was watching, there was like the Nollywood movies. I didn't know what it was. I was watching like, what the fuck is it? Yeah. You know about Nollywood?

• 23:48Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 23:49Matt McCusker?

  Nigerian, Nigerian Hollywood. And dude, I like looked into it. You can film a movie in Nigeria for like 15 grand.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:56Matt McCusker?

  Thinking about it.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:57Matt McCusker?

  You know, here it's like a million bucks.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  That would be hilarious.

• 24:00Matt McCusker?

  If I did a Nollywood epic, it'd be nice. Just put myself in it like Clint Eastwood style, right? Directed, star.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  For 15 grand, you could shoot like Mission Impossible.

• 24:08Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no, no.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  She like, you're jumping out of airplanes.

• 24:11Matt McCusker?

  An indie movie.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Oh, an indie.

• 24:12Matt McCusker?

  You do like a nice, a really sick indie movie.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Hmm. That would actually be hilarious.

• 24:16Matt McCusker?

  That'd be a sick move.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:17Matt McCusker?

  Try, I would have a brutal schedule though. Cause I try to be like, maybe a month. I'm like, you know, I can bring my whole family.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  I'd watch it. I'd, I'd definitely watch you not understand anything they're saying.

• 24:27Matt McCusker?

  No, dude, they're speaking English the whole time.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  No, they're speaking English, but it's also pigeon.

• 24:31Matt McCusker?

  Little something, yeah, yeah. Throw some French in the mix. No, check it out. Nollywood movies are sick. They're on YouTube for free.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 24:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:39Matt McCusker?

  Full feature, dude. There, I, I, I watched it in the restaurant and I'm like, bro, what the fuck is this? This movie's crazy.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  A lot of the movies have the same plot though. A lot of them is like a guy who like cheats on his wife. And then, and then she like, he, he like, he like gets in an accident and comes crawling back to her.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  What kind of accident?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Like, I don't know, like a car accident. Or she like puts a spell on him and then he can't fucking walk anymore. And then he's like, take me back. I'm sorry. And she's like, no.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Don't they believe in witches and stuff?

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Uh, believing witches is crazy.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  They know?

• 25:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  I've seen like newspapers from over there. And they say like a witch can touch your penis and it shrinks into nothing.

• 25:20Matt McCusker?

  No, that's, that's like, um, I know what you're talking about.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Witchcraft, but it's not like a belief. It's more so like.

• 25:28Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you're talking about the occult?

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Like voodoo type shit. It's like, it's like, I, I won't, I won't say it's like a belief thing, but it's more so like, it's more prevalent. And it's actually, it's actually real for real. Like voodoo.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  I'm not wrong. He goes, no, but yes and.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  That shit's real. It is real for real.

• 25:49Matt McCusker?

  I'd be scared.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  You go, yeah, if somebody, if somebody for real that could do that shit to you and take your fucking hair and wrap it around some shit, or put some blood on you and then, like, I, I think that shit is real.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  You can read about witchcraft in the newspapers there if you subscribe to any of the newspapers.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  You can read about it.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I'm about to scam your ass.

• 26:14Matt McCusker?

  There we go.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  That's not, is that real? It probably is.

• 26:22Matt McCusker?

  I saw, I was watching one earlier and I was like skipping through and there was, it was the exact plot you're describing where it was like, a guy had been cheating on her friend. And she like, there's, I was like trying to just like, I wanted to watch just the climax of the movie. I went to like the end. And this lady put like a handkerchief on her head, gigantic sunglasses and just confronted a guy being like, I know what you did. And he's like, you cannot prove it.

• 26:46Matt McCusker?

  It's literally, and I only watched for like 10 seconds. It was the exact plot.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, they all the same, but that, women love that shit.

• 26:53Matt McCusker?

  Comedies, yeah, and the comedies were, you know, I watched the comedy in the restaurant. That was actually, I was like kinda, it was like pure slapstick. It was kinda cracking me up.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:01Matt McCusker?

  Dude's like falling in shit.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Like Aki and Papa is like, oh, all right, nevermind. I thought you were like gonna type it in and think you were like, speak English.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  But, uh, no Nigerian scammers, best, best, best scammers. It's a dude that like scammed, like, like he sold an airport to somebody. I swear to God.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  That rules.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  He sold an airport to somebody. I don't, I don't remember the full story.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Which is basically a really big parking lot.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  He sold the airport that didn't exist.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 27:31Matt McCusker?

  To who?

• 27:32Speaker 01

  And I feel like it was like a, a government or something or some, like just some foreigner. But he sold an airport, a Nigerian dude, and then obviously Hush Puppy is like one of the most notorious.

• 27:45Matt McCusker?

  What was Hush Puppy?

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Nigerian scammers. He, he was just, he, he's in jail right now, I think for like 11 years, but he, he was just stealing money. I don't even remember how for real.

• 27:54Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, but a couple hundred million.

• 27:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I like the, I like the romance scams.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  He was trying to make a documentary about it.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Hush Puppy sounds like a hick hop rapper. Like he'd be featured on a Jelly Roll album. Jelly Roll featuring Hush Puppy.

• 28:08Matt McCusker?

  Hick hop?

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Hick hop, you know what hick hop is?

• 28:10Matt McCusker?

  Now I can bring it up.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  Hiccup is like, it's red dirt. We're from the red dirt road.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  Like that. And they're wave Confederate flags.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  My bad. Real estate mogul.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 28:23Matt McCusker?

  Hush puppy was a real estate mogul.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Sick. That's a great name.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  A hundred twenty-four million from an English Premier League club.

• 28:30Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 28:34Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's top. Go big or go home, man. Yeah. You fuck around the fake daycare or you can just go big. Get a hundred twenty-four million from an English guy. I think they only got him for like eleven years or something like that. That's not bad. That's not bad.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Not bad.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  Not bad. It's worth it. Yeah, I feel like if you steal a hundred million bucks, you can hide.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 28:50Matt McCusker?

  Probably fifty million and then give the rest up and like, ah, dude, I don't want to spend it all. Sorry.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  What prince?

• 29:00Speaker 02

  The email scams?

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  Dude, so apparently, so I looked into the, a long time ago, those like, that was like the, yeah, the, apparently, well, apparently that wasn't even, some of those weren't even from Africa. Some of those were just like a dude from Ohio. Feigning the Nigerian prince, which is like forty chess for sure.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  See, that's the, that's the, that's the scam right now, because everybody still think that's the scam that Nigerians is doing. We left y'all in the nineties thinking that, and now we doing new stuff. Keep thinking it. Keep the stereotype alive. Yeah, it's a Nigerian prince. We are white women now.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  The new shit is scamming the elderly. That's the new thing.

• 29:44Matt McCusker?

  That's meat and potatoes.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  Dude, just catfishing. You're, you, you're, some people go home for Thanksgiving to see their grandma and they go, I'm dating Matt Rife. You're like, oh, God.

• 29:53Matt McCusker?

  Fuck.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  I'm dating Vladimir Putin and I send him Apple gift cards every Tuesday and we're married. And, oh, God. And if you track it, it always goes to Kuwait. They're killing the game right now.

• 30:06Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 30:06Speaker 02

  Killing it.

• 30:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  There's a great catfishing YouTube channel and they always track these people down.

• 30:12Matt McCusker?

  I like a classic Indian robocall.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:14Matt McCusker?

  Just forty dudes sweating in a fucking call center, just banging the phone. That's what I like.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  In a warehouse that's flooded. I like when they're playing video games and the water's like up to here. Have you seen that?

• 30:26Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Where they're all playing, they're all playing like video poker and they have to swim to the next machine.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  No. Is that real?

• 30:33Speaker 02

  It could be AI. It doesn't matter. I made it up, maybe.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Yo, Sora's good though, dude. You never know. Nah, it's getting scary. Yeah. It's getting scary. I don't even want it. They got, they got a dude, they got Matt Barnes recently. They got him, like, he, some AI girl scanning him out like 60 grand or something crazy. Yeah. Who's Matt Barnes again? He's a former basketball player. Oh no, he fell for that? Yeah, bro. Sad, dawg. Scanning for how much? I feel like it was like 60. Jeez.

• 31:09Matt McCusker?

  I think, I still think the Shannon Sharp thing was like an intricate scam where you get lawyers who hook up with OnlyFans ladies and they start just fucking like, go, go, go, film sexual encounter, threaten the tape. This episode is brought to you by PrizePicks. We're in the second week of January and you've probably already given up on your resolutions, but there's good news. Some of the best football games of the season are around the corner. We've got great games on the schedule this weekend and there's no better place to get a piece of the action than PrizePicks. With team picks, there's even more to choose from. Hmm, I'd like to discuss a new feature. Want to pick winners in the race to the big game? You can now on PrizePicks. Hmm.

• 31:49Speaker 01

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• 31:51Matt McCusker?

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• 31:54Speaker 01

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• 32:01Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 32:01Speaker 01

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• 32:08Matt McCusker?

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• 32:44Matt McCusker?

  Next weekend, January 16th and 17th, I will be in Houston and then I'll be at Dallas. Uh, the 23rd, I'll be in Hartford, Connecticut, and then 24th, I'll be in Albany, New York. And then we have Las Vegas coming up, uh, 213, that's February 13th. Uh, that's a big one. Tickets are going slow because that's just how it works in Las Vegas. It's a week of town, fucking whatever. And then I'll be in Denver, Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City, and a bunch of other places. Go to mattmccusker.com for tickets. The, there's actually a little thing in the, uh, underneath the episode. Click it, please.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  Hey, hello everyone. January 15th, I'm gonna be at Hilliam Atlanta. And then the week after that, Sean's gonna be there. Yep, January 22nd through the 24th. Please come if you can and come to Optimum Noctis as well. January 20th. Oh yeah, and I'm gonna be at Hyenas Fort Worth, January 23rd. That's it.

• 33:33Matt McCusker?

  Thank you.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Oh, I cares.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Bro, the OnlyFans shit is getting bad. I saw something recently, it said it's easier for OnlyFans models in other countries to get a visa to this country than it is for like, like movies. Like they said, the OnlyFans models is eating up the visas.

• 33:54Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, so.

• 33:56Matt McCusker?

  I thought they were sex slaves. What the hell?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  They said they can get in with the, if they make a certain amount of money.

• 34:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  The visas that they like reserve for like Arnold Schwarzenegger type people.

• 34:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  They giving it to.

• 34:08Matt McCusker?

  That makes sense. I see what you're saying.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I looked it up one time because I wanted to see like, you know, how much OnlyFans actually makes like versus Patreon.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:16Matt McCusker?

  Like Patreon, I think all the Patreons globally, put everyone's Patreon money together. I think it's like, I don't even know. I think it maybe is like 80 million dollars, if that.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:28Matt McCusker?

  Oh, do you know how much OnlyFans is collectively?

• 34:30Speaker 02

  That's like one tenth of what Sophie Rain makes a month.

• 34:32Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's, it's like 13 billion dollars a year. OnlyFans is 13 bill a year.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  I think porn and gaming, like and gambling are the big three and comedy is like way under here.

• 34:42Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  When it comes to money. We should all start fucking each other on the show.

• 34:45Matt McCusker?

  At least.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  And play, and, and playing poker or something.

• 34:50Matt McCusker?

  Just, eh, we'll AI it. We'll just AI it. We'll wear mocap suits. We're not actually fucking, but it just looks like we are. We're just like, we're just like dry homing. What? Oh shit! No, no, no, bro.

• 35:09Matt McCusker?

  Dude, there's a typhoon. What are they gonna do?

• 35:11Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 35:12Matt McCusker?

  Gaming in the typhoon is actually kinda legendary.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  That shows you how addictive gambling is, right? Hold on, almost won. There's a snake on you.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  It's like anaconda.

• 35:28Matt McCusker?

  Shit dragged under.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  There's gators and shit.

• 35:31Matt McCusker?

  Dude, that's fucked up. Where was that again?

• 35:34Speaker 02

  They said Philippines.

• 35:34Matt McCusker?

  That was the Philippines.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  So that was a cafe?

• 35:37Matt McCusker?

  That was an internet cafe.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 35:39Matt McCusker?

  That's how you know, yeah. That's how you know, uh, the country's not doing well when they're like, yo, we, uh, we have the internet here. I'll pay five bucks an hour.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Okay, so that's gaming. I do get that, dude. Being 12 years old and playing Xbox Live.

• 35:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  The house could be on fire.

• 35:53Matt McCusker?

  You could have flooded my cousin's basement. We weren't going anywhere.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Not going anywhere, dude. I'm playing Halo. Especially if I just got to a level I ain't got to before. Come on now.

• 36:00Matt McCusker?

  Your game's not saved. I mean, that would be chill too. You'd never even think about it. Imagine just like chilling in water and gaming.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  If you rage quit though, you electrocute yourself. If you slam the controller down, it kills everybody.

• 36:12Matt McCusker?

  Everybody dies. Damn, that's fucking crazy. When I, I remember when I would go to the beach when I was little, the beach would flood all the time. So we, me and my cousins would go out in the streets and like swim in like the street floodwater.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:23Matt McCusker?

  I just realized not too long ago, sewage, it was all sewage water.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Assed. Poop and pee.

• 36:27Matt McCusker?

  Poop and pee. I was just in there, donkey my head.

• 36:31Matt McCusker?

  My mom would be like, don't go in there. And I'm like, whatever. And I'd be under and it's like, fully under, full breaststroke and poop and pee.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Mommy, look at me.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Piece of shit on your head.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Huge shirt.

• 36:46Matt McCusker?

  I didn't, I was like, when I first, when I had my first kid, we were in Philly, we were at this playground. And like, there was a, they're like a sprinkler kinda thing, but that had kept going and it like, it flooded one of the little drains, like the storm drains. And then that water was kicking out from the sewage and it created this other little pond. So I don't, like, kids would go to play in there. They'd be with another kid and that kid would jump in like the shit water and I'd be like, hold up. You can't play in there. They're playing in there. And I was like, They had bad lives, dude. You don't like, they don't have their parents here, dude. They're gonna swim in the shit water and you're gonna stay out of that. And you know, this is where your guys' friendship ends, so. Sorry, I was drunk on a couch.

• 37:24Matt McCusker?

  Unfortunately, I'm here, so. No shit water for you.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  Would you let them do the trampoline on the mattress that's been outside for like six months?

• 37:32Matt McCusker?

  Hell no. No way. Like, oh, it's just sitting outside. If I saw a mattress, first of all, if there's a mattress outside my house, I would call the city and like, remove this right now. I'm not having that. I bet, guys, this is a, this is infested. Take this out immediately. No, I'm, I'm a, yeah, I don't know. I, I try to, even in Philly, like, I remember, like, if, if someone would be, like, nodded out on our street corner, I wouldn't be mean to them, but I'd go up and be like, bro. You got him.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  But you used to do it, though.

• 37:57Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, I would have done. I used to walk along the side of the highway when I was a kid.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:01Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, I used to, like, throw golf balls at cars and, like, run away. Yeah, I was really bad, but, but no, my kids live like a completely, I mean, I'm letting them kind of roam a little bit now. But no, they're, they're like completely sheltered.

• 38:13Speaker 01

  You got a, a girl?

• 38:15Matt McCusker?

  Two girls.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Two girls. Oh, all right, never mind.

• 38:17Matt McCusker?

  True, exactly.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  I thought you had a boy.

• 38:19Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:20Matt McCusker?

  Be totally different.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:21Matt McCusker?

  I, I got hit in the nuts recently. I was like, I think my, my daughter was trying to, like, wash a baby, her, like, little doll out in the sink, but it was bedtime, so I'm like, come on, it's bedtime. No, no, no. So I went to grab her and she did that shit where she gripped the edge of the sink. So I had to, like, fucking, like, come on. I pulled her off. As I pull her off, she just, she's three years old, she just swung back and kicked me in the nuts. And I had her like this, like, because I have to hold her away from me so she doesn't hit me. Held her up and I, like, it went through my head to just do full, like, mm, onto the bed. And if it were, if she were a son, I would have spiked my son onto the bed. And I just gently lowered her, like, ooh, you little fucker, I'll be back. I was about to bounce her off the mattress.

• 39:00Matt McCusker?

  Like, just got hit. It's like a reaction. You hit the nuts, you're like, fuck you! But I was like, gently laid her down. I was like, I'll be back!

• 39:07Speaker 01

  The smashing machine.

• 39:08Matt McCusker?

  I would have chokeslammed a three-year-old boy right through that shit.

• 39:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, instantly. I, for real, had to stop myself. I was like, mm.

• 39:20Matt McCusker?

  And I knew it was coming, but I tried to move and she's like grown. So she was like, whack. Fuck.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Even if you did that, somebody would be like, we understand.

• 39:28Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude, yeah.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  Nah, man, that was, that was close. I almost fucking, I mean, it was a bed. She would have gotten like, she would have rattled her for sure, but.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 39:37Matt McCusker?

  If I'd spiked her, actually, she could have broke her arm. But I didn't.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  What's your parenting style? Are you, are you, um, are you copying what your parents have done to you? Or are you spreading the tra- the generational traumas that you, uh, experienced as a child?

• 39:51Speaker 02

  I hope not. I mean, you like to think you're not your parents, but then, you know, every now and then you go, fuck, I'm the exact same guy.

• 39:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Like I'm my dad, you know? But you like to, you like to think you're completely different, right? And they might've thought they were different, but I don't know. I feel like I was generally just fucking ignored. No one paid attention to me and I would just wander around in the woods.

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. And like find like knives and stuff.

• 40:12Matt McCusker?

  No, I, I don't.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  I would just get lost all day.

• 40:14Matt McCusker?

  I don't, uh, my brother told me this. I don't remember it at all, but like I used, my, I had like bedtime. They would put me in a room and just latch a thing on the outside and be like, bro, see you in the morning.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 40:24Matt McCusker?

  So they would just lock, they would lock. Cause I knew they did it to my sister and I was always like, that's so fucked up. They did that to Kathleen. My brother was like, dude, they did it to you too. And I was like, oh, fuck. They would just go full like, you're done. Your goodbye for the day.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Darkness now.

• 40:36Matt McCusker?

  I was just a creature, dude. I was in a room like.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  And you're in a Somali in daycare. And the windows are boarded up and the lights are off.

• 40:45Matt McCusker?

  Where the fuck was that kid? I needed him to be like, where the fuck are the kids in here? Let me see this child. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that was her shit. My mom too, she'd be like, like if she had like, uh, my, like my older brothers and like my cousins there, they weren't taking a nap. She would just trap them under her legs and just until they fell asleep and then be like, all right, good. Fucking put the, put the quads on them.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 41:08Matt McCusker?

  The thing, so yeah, I do way different stuff.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  I didn't, so I didn't have any fun growing up. Like my, my parents were no fun. There was no fun. Everybody was miserable. We were all strangers in the house.

• 41:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  So I'm just trying to make it where if I can teach them to have fun.

• 41:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Then that's a skill that they can take throughout the rest of their life and attract goodness and great things and good people.

• 41:27Matt McCusker?

  That's the plan.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  That feels like the ultimate, if you can have fun in any situation.

• 41:30Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  Then you're unstoppable, right? So that's what I'm trying to do.

• 41:33Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  So we like, uh, you know, we fucking drive around really fast.

• 41:37Matt McCusker?

  Tight.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  In the car, listen to really loud music, dance a lot. We do coke.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  She's drinking and driving.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  Three.

• 41:51Matt McCusker?

  That is, that is the one thing, once you have kids and it really dawns on you like, fuck dude, I'm in charge of your mental wellbeing. Like, I'm pulling from a poisoned well.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  I know, man.

• 42:00Matt McCusker?

  And I'm just dipping this bucket into your brain, you're like, God, help me, please.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Do you feel like your parents were like a lighthouse for like, you go, that's good that that's there because I can avoid that.

• 42:08Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  That rocky shore.

• 42:09Matt McCusker?

  My parents did a lot, I think a lot of things really good. They were just like, like, you know, now we have like the internet, we have like a thing, like when you yell at your child, seven seconds, they make neural path, there was none of that shit. They were just like, whoop their fucking ass.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:22Matt McCusker?

  We would all go out to dinner as a family and every, by like, towards the end of it, it would just be me and my brothers in the car by ourselves, just like chilling until everyone ate. Because you, if you acted up, you had to sit in the car. You're just sitting in a suburban by yourself, just like, damn, this fucking bullshit dude, I didn't get dessert.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 42:36Matt McCusker?

  They took y'all out to eat? Yeah, we would go to this place.

• 42:41Matt McCusker?

  True, like I said, there was good stuff.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  It's so funny that your punishment is, son, go sit in a hot car.

• 42:46Matt McCusker?

  It was nothing.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  Go, go, go do what Casey Anthony does to her children. That's your punishment now.

• 42:51Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I'd never even thought a kid could die from a hot car. Yeah, that's like a.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  Who's to say if they can?

• 42:56Matt McCusker?

  This is new kids.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  These are weak kids, maybe.

• 43:01Matt McCusker?

  These are peanut allergy kids.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  I do dry saunas every day, I'm fine. 20, 25 minutes, I'm fine.

• 43:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, if anything, the baby's just activated his heat shock protein, so.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  It's the telomeres that.

• 43:12Matt McCusker?

  That is so sad, dude, just to forget, because it's like, I get it, like, you're just like, oh, fuck, I need to think about it. And you come out and it's like, damn, kid's dead.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Nowadays, the car will.

• 43:21Matt McCusker?

  Car beeps.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Or the car will lock you inside of it and catch on fire.

• 43:25Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  Is that, have you seen this with the Cybertrucks? They, they, so the Cybertruck has a mode where it turns, it turns into a microwave, and then it locks, and then everybody dies.

• 43:36Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so you don't have to go through all the trouble of hooking like an exhaust thing into your car?

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess maybe if you like have a cold hot pocket.

• 43:42Matt McCusker?

  Flame my family.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Grok is like, do you have a cold hot pocket there amigo? Let me heat it up for you. But they will lock and then you can't get out and everybody dies. It keeps happening in the news.

• 43:52Matt McCusker?

  Nah.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  I like the Cybertruck though. It's good. It looks like Halo. I'm a big fan.

• 43:56Matt McCusker?

  Look that up. Is that true that?

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Cybertruck look like a piece of shit.

• 43:59Matt McCusker?

  There's no way you can get locked in your car unless you're Polish.

• 44:03Matt McCusker?

  That's the old joke. Here are the Polish guy got locked in his car.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  What's the joke?

• 44:07Matt McCusker?

  Polish people are dumb. They can't.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a.

• 44:10Matt McCusker?

  Little white on white racism.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  I don't know any Polish people.

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  It was a pretty. I don't think I'd really know. It was like the first meme kind of is like Polack jokes.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  But it didn't really, didn't really last.

• 44:23Matt McCusker?

  Well, how do you plan on doing your kids? You don't have kids.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  I don't have.

• 44:26Matt McCusker?

  How do you plan on doing your, uh, raising them up?

• 44:29Speaker 01

  Keeping them away from my parents. No.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  I don't know. I haven't given it much thought, man. I just, I just definitely don't want to repeat some of the stuff.

• 44:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was taught to me.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Like my, my parent, my parents are definitely better now. Right?

• 44:52Matt McCusker?

  They chill out majorly.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, they chill out, but then like you don't know if you've kind of adopted the things that your parents taught you or like unintentionally taught you or downloaded the shit that they've been doing, their behavior, until you're like under duress.

• 45:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  You know, when you stressed out and then all of a sudden, like you say, you want to spike the baby.

• 45:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, real bad. She's three.

• 45:15Matt McCusker?

  She's fine.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  There was two cases.

• 45:21Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 45:22Speaker 03

  There's two cases. One was in California, one in Texas where they got in an accident and then the power went out in the Cybertruck and they couldn't get out.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  Big microwave.

• 45:31Matt McCusker?

  Oh, fuck. Dude, and cars get really hot too. And like they're, I mean, obviously anything on fire gets super hot, but like, you're trapped, but when you're trapped inside that small of a container on fire, it's like.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Would you rather burn or drown?

• 45:45Matt McCusker?

  Drown, dude. Hundred percent.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ted Kennedy style.

• 45:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for sure. Drown and burn alive, dude? Drown, you just pass out. It's like, do you ever go underwater for like a little too long and you're like lightheaded?

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's almost romantic.

• 45:58Matt McCusker?

  You just get more and more lightheaded.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Really?

• 46:00Matt McCusker?

  It's chill. Burning alive is literally the worst of the worst.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  But what if you like sleep burn it?

• 46:10Matt McCusker?

  A little slow cooker. Low and slow for about 20 hours.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  You're asleep, it ain't really.

• 46:16Matt McCusker?

  No dude, burning alive is like, I think the worst. I'd rather have probably my dick chopped off than burn alive.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  But dude, I'm sorry to cut you off.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  No, no, go ahead.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  But dude, in Asia or the monks that be doing, they look pretty calm.

• 46:30Matt McCusker?

  Self immolation?

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but they've studied the art of chill, that's like, that's. Most people are not prepared.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Damn, how much you study chill? You on fire, you gonna scream a little bit.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Is somebody to be on fire and be like, I don't even care?

• 46:44Speaker 01

  I don't care dude.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Is that even real?

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Not even real.

• 46:46Matt McCusker?

  Well, they build, they build like temples where those guys burn themselves. Cause it's just like the supreme act of like, I don't know Buddhist chill.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:54Matt McCusker?

  It's like you can like, oh, you know, I haven't fucking, you know, I haven't jerked off in 40 years. People like, watch this shit and just fucking light yourself on fire. Like do this. Cause it is the ultimate. Usually they do it to like draw attention to something.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a protest.

• 47:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they don't, you know, they have guns over there.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  They caught a monk recently that was like, I think it was like OnlyFans. No, it was a girl that was going up into the temple cleaning it out. And I think dude was like, I think he was smashing and then she tried to extort him. I was like, damn, that's crazy.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  This is a plot of a Nigerian film, I think. This is an Hollywood movie you may have watched on YouTube.

• 47:30Matt McCusker?

  Damn, she tried to just like trick them?

• 47:31Speaker 01

  She tried to extort him and get bread out of him. I think, I think it may have been a few of them that she was like going up there and smashing.

• 47:41Matt McCusker?

  That's a bad plan, they're monks.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:43Matt McCusker?

  They're like begging alms.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:45Matt McCusker?

  They have to hit the alms circuit hard, like damn, I gotta fucking baby mama.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  But she probably knew they had, she probably knew they had money.

• 47:51Matt McCusker?

  True, they probably have some money.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:53Matt McCusker?

  Was this, where was this?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Somewhere, wherever the monks be, I don't know.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  They're everywhere, man.

• 47:58Matt McCusker?

  Dude, my, my brother, it was, my brother was just talking to his friend who had come from like Thailand or whatever. And she was telling him that like, the, like the tourism, so like if you have like a, like a kind, like a gay kid, you are from this, it's like a giant like victory. What the fuck?

• 48:17Speaker 02

  He does, man. He knows, man. He just called my kid gay.

• 48:22Matt McCusker?

  Well, hey, hold on, listen to this. So if you're in Thailand.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Maybe, should I be offended? I don't know.

• 48:27Matt McCusker?

  Thank you so much.

• 48:30Matt McCusker?

  Here's the thing, if you're in Thailand, you have like a recognizably gay kid. My verse. You turn the kid into a girl ASAP and your whole family's like, here we go. Cause then it's like part of that like sex tourism thing. Where what you do is you get a, even if you just have like a daughter too, you can do the same thing where you're like, oh man, she pretends she doesn't have like a husband, she can be married, whole family, all everything, kids. But then she'll go to work as like a prostitute, get like an English businessman and be like, yeah, like I'm single. Bring the English businessman back to like her family and her husband will like even be there pretending to be like her brother. And they just basically, you get like, even if you don't get knocked up, they just fuck these dudes. Send a letter back to England to like wherever they work being like, yo, I'm pregnant now.

• 49:12Matt McCusker?

  And if you don't want like the Thailand courts coming after you for child support and like blowing up your spot. Cause a lot of these guys are married, give me like 10 Gs a month. And that's like apparently like a huge thing over there. If you're out there just fucking having sex with hookers, you could get caught up in like a never ending scam. But that's why you do ladyboy. Here's the kicker. They got no ovaries. True. Who's? True, but then if you fall in love, that's the thing. And I saw a documentary, you fall in love. You fall in love. Dude, there's like, they'll bring you back to the village and like, you just have to start like buying fucking shit for like the whole village. The whole village. And it's like a huge thing for a village. If you get like a slamming ladyboy. Everyone's like, let's go, we're all gonna eat. It's gonna be so nice. We just need one rich British guy. We just need one old British guy. This whole place. Oh, this is with ladyboys.

• 49:57Matt McCusker?

  And it could be ladies too. Oh, okay. But I think ladyboys over there are just popping off so hard that it's like, and that's an easy one too, where it's like, bro, we're gonna send stuff back. The family. Who's giving the prostitute they real address?

• 50:11Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. But here's the thing, you get these old businessmen, they'll be like, I love you. And they'll start divulging info and it's just kinda like. You're done. Here, the funny thing is especially for like the custody stuff where it's like, yo, I'm pregnant with your child, like the courts are gonna come after you unless you send me hush money. Apparently, if you just ignore, like, the Thailand courts can't do anything to you in London. They can't like, there's nothing they can do. So.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Oh, you, you from experience?

• 50:35Matt McCusker?

  No, I've never been. I've never been to Thailand. Actually, when I hear people are in Thailand as like grown adults, I'm kind of like.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the.

• 50:42Matt McCusker?

  What are you doing over there, dude?

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Cause we already got their food.

• 50:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we got the food here. So.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  We got the food.

• 50:47Matt McCusker?

  It's like, what do you?

• 50:48Speaker 02

  We have elephants at the zoo.

• 50:50Matt McCusker?

  We have mopeds.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  We got mopeds. That's true.

• 50:53Matt McCusker?

  We even have ladyboys here.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  We got it. We had the big four. The big four of the economy of Thailand.

• 50:58Matt McCusker?

  Nah, if you're going over there, there's another itch you're trying to, in my opinion. I was talking to someone recently. He was in Asia and they're like, oh, my friend was supposed to meet me over wherever they were. He got his visa got messed up in Thailand. He's stuck there. And I was like, is that what he told you? Tails hold his time like, I was gonna leave and my fucking visa's all fucked up.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  See, all these stereotypes about these countries. A man can't even go to Thailand, the Dominican Republic.

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  DR, you can get away with the DR.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  You can't go to the DR without people thinking you're doing something.

• 51:28Matt McCusker?

  You can't go by yourself. That's crazy. You gotta get a girlfriend just so you can do the trip and then you break up with your girlfriend in the DR and then you go hog wild.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Go crazy.

• 51:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  What's this?

• 51:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh shit, this is the Thai monks.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:45Matt McCusker?

  Fifty-six hundred videos. Damn, that guy's the man.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Allegedly.

• 51:50Matt McCusker?

  Who was seeking Miss Golf Woman allegedly behind Thailand monks sex blackmailing scandal?

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Oh, so she ran a ring. That's where it was.

• 51:58Matt McCusker?

  That's, I heard there's a lot of meth too in some of, there was like, at one point in a lot of those, um, what you wanna call it? In the monasteries or whatever, there's a, they like did a drug test and there was like a couple of them where like everyone was just strong out on meth. They're in there just partying.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  Kind of sick.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  I know, but still, oh, that's what I think ayahuasca is.

• 52:16Matt McCusker?

  You think ayahuasca is kind of a cult?

• 52:18Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 52:19Matt McCusker?

  I think so too dude, because you hear all these people like being like, yeah, I've done it like seventy-five times. And you're like, bro, I thought it was the most powerful thing in the world. Why do you have to do it fifty-five? Fuck, I think it's just a giant party though.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, doesn't Alan Watts say, once you get the message, hang up the phone?

• 52:32Matt McCusker?

  That's what I've heard.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  So why do you pick up the phone seventy-five more times?

• 52:35Matt McCusker?

  I think it's just chill. I think you go down there again, you're like a tech billionaire and you just go down there and party. I think it's just a big party.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I think so too. And then people started talking about they crying on it and all the type of stuff. I used to want to do it a little bit. When I was on like my little mushroom journey. And then after a while, I was just like, kept listening to stories about it. I was like, what do I want to cry for?

• 52:57Matt McCusker?

  It is true. Like, yeah, you look shit flies out of your ass and you throw up. Then it's awesome.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  It feels great. And I get what they're saying, but at the same time, I'm like, I think I could get there myself.

• 53:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Without all the extras.

• 53:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't know, man. It's a.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  You think it's demons or angels you're talking to on those trips?

• 53:16Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I've heard about that stuff too.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Probably talking about both. You're probably talking about both for real.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  I mean, we all contain both, right?

• 53:24Matt McCusker?

  True. I don't know. I've heard. I have heard of like that. You're talking to like extra like interdimensional entities. That's a weird thing with the DMT dude, people.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Witchcraft.

• 53:34Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 53:38Matt McCusker?

  No, I've heard that, that like, yeah, you're really talking to a like entities. If you do DMT, there are like characters that you encounter. Cause I distinctly remember I had like the jester. It was a mean jester. It was on like a black and white checkered floor. Saw a clear as day and then I watched this video about DMT entities. That was one of them. I was like, whoa, that's fucked up. It was real. Guy was so mean to me. So fuck, he's laughing in my face. He's just like teasing me the whole time. It's like, you're a fucking loser. Yeah, just fucking bullied me. I went to the astral realm and just got absolutely kicked around.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  He's giving you titty twisters and shit?

• 54:10Matt McCusker?

  He was just like, you're a fucking dork. And I was like, what the fuck? I thought this was supposed to be chill.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Giving you a swirly and a wedgie?

• 54:16Matt McCusker?

  Like literally dude.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Calling you gay?

• 54:17Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was little, it was probably like fifteen seconds of just like a jet, like a multi-headed jester on a white, black and white checkered floor being like, dude, you're a fucking loser. And I was like, fuck, damn it. Sucked. Really fucking sucked. Yeah, it's, it wasn't that per se, but if you look up, there's like a, the jester guy. Dude, it's fucking bullshit.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm afraid of all that stuff.

• 54:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and honestly too, it's like, I feel like mushrooms are great, you know, you can do mushrooms. I don't really, I don't know, you can do a lot of them. You don't have to go to like the jungle.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Extreme.

• 54:50Matt McCusker?

  And dude, I swear to God, when people do it a lot, it changes the way their eyes look.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Really?

• 54:54Matt McCusker?

  You see someone who does ayahuasca a lot, they get this like, like very relaxed.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Started looking like, oh, I thought you.

• 55:00Matt McCusker?

  Like almost zombified. No, like.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  They look like Nick Reiner. Like the Nick Reiner.

• 55:04Matt McCusker?

  I never got a good, let me get a good look at that guy. I never got, I've heard about him.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Did you see him on the red carpet with his dad?

• 55:08Speaker 01

  They keep posting strange pictures of him. Maybe shit from the past.

• 55:12Matt McCusker?

  No, sort of, but there was, it was in like a black and white floor that wasn't as like, lines and colors. It looked just like a dude almost.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Got to pull up a picture of Will Silvins.

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  Let me see something.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Nobody? Alright.

• 55:25Matt McCusker?

  Who was it?

• 55:26Speaker 01

  It was a comic.

• 55:29Matt McCusker?

  Will Smith got the eyes. He did ayahuasca like a bazillion times as well.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I feel like Aaron Rodgers got some eyes.

• 55:34Matt McCusker?

  He's got to look at the eyes. If you look at the eyes and there's like, and I've known just people from like, just in my life who like have done it a lot. And it's just like, they get this, I can't explain it, man, but they get this kind of like, I don't know, it could just be me fucking freaking out.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Nah, I mean.

• 55:47Matt McCusker?

  Something's, there's something, something happened.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm.

• 55:51Matt McCusker?

  And dude, every time I do like a lot, any like big hallucinogenic, I'm always so fucking relieved when it's over that I go, yeah, I'm not, I'm just happy for my normal waking consciousness. I don't, I don't ever want to leave this ever again.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  The, the, the thrill of it kind of like is when you're young for real, at least for me. And then you start hearing all these stories about like, like the Matthew Perry situation and all that stuff. And it's like.

• 56:15Matt McCusker?

  Well, he was doing like oxy though.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  He was, I thought he was on ketamine.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  He got boiled like a crawdad in that hot tub.

• 56:21Matt McCusker?

  He got boiled.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  They do a potato, they found potatoes and carrots and shit and fucking corn in it.

• 56:29Matt McCusker?

  Hot tub death, hot tub death.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  He was cooking.

• 56:32Matt McCusker?

  A bay leaf. Hot tub death. Hot tub death is kingly though. I'll give you that. I'd rather, okay. Now it's like drowning to death, lighting on fire, dying in a hot tub. I might smash dying in a hot tub.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Especially if you're dressed up like Batman and you die in a hot tub.

• 56:47Matt McCusker?

  He was not dressed up like Batman.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  He would dress up like Batman all the time. I mean, they didn't release it, but I like that they keep it on a full, he's, he was a fat Batman and he got in a hot tub.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  He died in a hot tub?

• 56:57Matt McCusker?

  He did.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, he died in a hot tub.

• 56:59Matt McCusker?

  But maybe he was on ketamine, I think, but I think he had been doing like a lot of like oxys, pain pills. So maybe he did take ketamine and go in a hot tub. I could see the allure. So you might be right. Maybe, yeah, maybe he hit that and just.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  He had a good life.

• 57:12Matt McCusker?

  I think, well, yeah, I think he did.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Get high a lot, watch Batman, get in the hot tub. It's a sick life.

• 57:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  I don't know. I'm not convinced you need the last 20 years. Not yet.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Of life?

• 57:22Matt McCusker?

  20 years total?

• 57:23Speaker 02

  He went off at what, 55?

• 57:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  That's not bad.

• 57:27Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  I'm definitely, I'm definitely a strong component of getting out of here quick.

• 57:32Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Which is why I think I'm gonna live for a long time.

• 57:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  So I'm thinking I'm gonna be here for a minute, cause I do not wanna be.

• 57:42Matt McCusker?

  Really? You wanna do a quick one?

• 57:44Speaker 01

  I mean, nah, I'm just saying like, you know how life expectancy is fucking gotten out of here?

• 57:49Matt McCusker?

  With that hoodie, someone might come around and clock you right in the fucking head.

• 57:54Matt McCusker?

  You're asking, that's a suicide hoodie dude.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Dude, Kevin looks like he's gonna live a very long time.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Nah. Nah. Life expectancy, what is it now? It's like, I mean, my grandma still, I don't even know how old she is.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  It's getting too high.

• 58:09Matt McCusker?

  It's super high, you're right.

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Too high.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  I, I know I'm not gonna be this type of old person, but there are all those old people that are just like sitting around waiting to go. You know what I mean?

• 58:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Like they just don't leave the room or don't leave the house and it's like, but I don't want to.

• 58:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, that's and that's where I think the hallucinogenics come in because once you're in that stage, then I think it should be like you have the home care worker and it's just nonstop, just like feed me mushrooms. Let me watch the Lord of the Rings till I memorize all the lines.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, take, take my money. I don't care.

• 58:37Matt McCusker?

  Take my money. Yeah, my, I have a fake, I have two fake internet girlfriends. That'll be chill and we'll have VR, so it won't be as bad for us. I can be posted up on the auto blow.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Going to the machine.

• 58:47Matt McCusker?

  Auto blow Oculus, DRT.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Just hook yourself up into the code.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  I just want to see the falling rain.

• 58:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, just be in Oculus. I'll be in a nursing home. I'll be like seeing my family like, oh, hey, guys, what are you guys up to? Oh, man, remember when we went to the fucking mountains?

• 59:08Speaker 02

  That would rock. You're still racist, though.

• 59:10Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 59:10Speaker 02

  You're still, well, whenever it gets really old, they become very racist.

• 59:13Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  I've been in old folks homes. They are.

• 59:15Matt McCusker?

  They are.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  Wild.

• 59:16Matt McCusker?

  But here's the thing.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  They think it's pre-civil rights.

• 59:18Matt McCusker?

  Oh, they go nasty, but, but here's the question, though. Here's the question. Now we have, I, I would say almost for the first time ever, um, especially for white people, we have elder kind of like liberals, which that wasn't really a thing, I feel like. So did you see the, if you watched the video of that, uh, I keep forgetting the fucking guy's name, the young YouTuber who like Shirley.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  We, hey, stop saying his name. We ain't putting no light on my fucking, uh.

• 59:42Matt McCusker?

  He already, dude, he, his videos at 10 million, bro.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  I know.

• 59:46Matt McCusker?

  But.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  You think, you think? Yeah, man.

• 59:51Matt McCusker?

  But no, there was one, there was one, I think it was at the Leering Center, I swear to God, where he went up and there was just like old white lady who was like, ICE, they're ICE, do not enter the building. Like she started like, she was like a car alarm, just going off like, do not let these men in the building. ICE is here. So like, that lady's going to be in a nursing home one day and just be like, I think you're as cool as any, you know what I mean? She'll be doing like, uh, one of the soft handed stuff.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:00:20Matt McCusker?

  Be a Jamaican lady and just be like, I love you so much.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Can I touch your hair?

• 1:00:24Matt McCusker?

  Can I touch you?

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  You're beautiful. I should be wiping your ass. My, my queen. My goddess.

• 1:00:33Matt McCusker?

  That's just going to be, it's going to be old white lady, she don't wipe Jamaican.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  Like, I'm good, baby.

• 1:00:38Matt McCusker?

  Eat my food. I don't deserve it. Eat it all. So that could be the day, that could be, um, that could be it.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  I think that's gonna be it. The future's looking pretty bright, actually.

• 1:00:48Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  It's looking good to me. I don't know.

• 1:00:51Matt McCusker?

  I think so.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  Things could be worse.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  We hit the lottery being born in America, right?

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  Yep. We just got a fresh, we got, dude, oil, oil's booming right now.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:01:00Matt McCusker?

  Oil's gonna be killing. I mean, everyone, look, we're a fucking empire, dude. Like, we are an empire at the end of the day.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Definitely a fucking empire.

• 1:01:07Matt McCusker?

  We gotta bust some moves. Russia's busting fucking moves and China's busting moves. It's time America busts a fucking move. It's unfortunate. I wish they didn't have to do this, but we are an aging empire and it's time we

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  But it

• 1:01:19Matt McCusker?

  strike out. Just, dude, it was one guy. Venezuela, easy. Now the rest of Latin America, I called this, by the way, years, not that specifically, but like Latin America, the cartels, like, dude, I was like, years ago, I was like, we're gonna hammer down on those cartels.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  I, I feel like.

• 1:01:34Matt McCusker?

  Now you can say it to anything.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  I feel like one guy in dude's first year, I feel like if this, you know, this plays out the way that they want to play out, by his fourth year, he about to be going crazy.

• 1:01:47Matt McCusker?

  Who, Maduro?

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Trump.

• 1:01:49Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Trump. How many years in are we?

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Two.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  This is, this is two? Well, the year just started, right?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  I think he'll be dead by the summer, but.

• 1:01:56Matt McCusker?

  You think he'll be dead by the summer?

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think he's gonna drop dead.

• 1:01:59Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like a frog on a lily pad. He's just gonna drop.

• 1:02:03Matt McCusker?

  You think he's just gonna?

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  He's gonna eat his last fly and just fall in the pond.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Somebody told me he's gonna try to be president of another country. I thought that was crazy.

• 1:02:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's old. He's, he's getting there. You're starting to see the way, it's like Biden was so old that you're like, dude, this guy is fucking getting around pretty good, but yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  They're really good at creating problems to then act like they're fixing the problem.

• 1:02:24Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, that's what the bureaucratic state does. So like, what they're gonna keep doing is letting immigrants in on quote unquote accident and be like, but you could sign up for ICE and help us get rid of the problem. So they're employing people. With a problem, they have to create problems. Yeah, yeah. Then they go, we fixed it. It's like you fucking caused it. Yeah, that's another scam. And they did just shut, ICE just shot a lady in the fucking face today and uh, right before this, like an hour ago. I think it was in um. His hotel. I think it was like Minnesota, it might have been Minnesota. Where a lady was just in her car and ICE agent kept pointing a gun at her and she was, she didn't know what to do and then the ICE agent reached his huge gut across the grill and fired four times into her face. Damn. And then the car took off like a hundred miles an hour into a building. Oh no.

• 1:03:08Speaker 02

  Like right before that. And she's a US citizen, not an illegal immigrant. They killed her? Uh, yes.

• 1:03:14Matt McCusker?

  No, the accident, the accident actually killed her, wasn't it?

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Oh. Wait. She dodged that shit. He drove into a building.

• 1:03:20Matt McCusker?

  To be fair, dude, with the police, with the police footage, did they show the lady reaching at all?

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  I have not seen the footage, I saw it on the way in here.

• 1:03:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, when I, and again, I don't know what happened, I don't, I'm not proposing to, you know, I know what happened, but that police footage when they're like, and sometimes it's obviously pretty terrible, but then there's times where it's like, like I knew someone who was in a car, they were a cop, and like a 12 year old just went boom, boom, boom, boom, fired into the car and they came out of the car and fucking killed the kid.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:03:45Matt McCusker?

  Which is fucked, but it's like, dude, you've ever got a gunshot into your car? Like, you're not like, to be like, you have to like, think clearly and

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:51Matt McCusker?

  It's like, it's kinda hard to do. Whenever I see the police stuff, I'm like, I don't know, man. Sometimes it is bad when you see it, you're like, damn, that's fucking horrible.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Dude, I think if I was a cop, like I'm a pussy, I would empty a full clip every day. Um, first time, I'm just emptying mags, like on, like a bird flies a little too quickly in front of me, I'm just firing at it.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  I'd be terrified, you know? I'd be killing dogs that are running at me.

• 1:04:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't know. I mean, again, I don't know what happened, I'm not trying to say.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  You got the video?

• 1:04:19Matt McCusker?

  Let me see.

• 1:04:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah?

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  Oh, fatally shot. Damn.

• 1:04:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Oh, it is Minneapolis, oh man.

• 1:04:30Matt McCusker?

  Okay. Oh, hey, hey.

• 1:04:35Matt McCusker?

  Wait, I didn't even see it.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, so the car takes off once she gets shot. Because obviously she slumped over the wheel and...

• 1:04:42Matt McCusker?

  Yikes. I didn't even see it though, I was so fast.

• 1:04:48Matt McCusker?

  Well, that just in, um, I don't know. I don't know.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 1:04:53Matt McCusker?

  Hey, let's take some, uh, where are we at timelines on this shot? An hour or two. Can we?

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Just cut it out.

• 1:04:58Matt McCusker?

  No, no, it's fine, you're fine. We don't, we never, we never really cut.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Can you edit me out of the podcast?

• 1:05:05Matt McCusker?

  Alright, we got some, actually, this is from our premium subscribers. We got some questions, a little Q and A action. Uh, here you go.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Oh shit, really? This is sick. Okay.

• 1:05:14Matt McCusker?

  I'll start, I'll start it off.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  I gotta read?

• 1:05:16Matt McCusker?

  Um, I, actually, this kinda pissed me off. It was like, Matt, why is your wife so hot but you just look like a fucking potato? I've never seen someone with their eyes so close together and you suck a guitar and are gay. I fucking hate you. It's from, uh, it's from Nick.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 1:05:32Matt McCusker?

  Syracuse. That was, uh, just, that's a perk we give to our premium subscribers.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  That's very nice.

• 1:05:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I don't think my eyes are that close together, honestly, but... I mean, what do you want? So, that was my question.

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  There you go, okay. Hey, first time Patreon subscriber and huge fan. Graduating from high school this year, which is something I've been really excited to accomplish. At least until my older brother died. He was riding a motorcycle on 95 with his girlfriend on the back. A tractor trailer swerved to avoid a broken down car and the back of it literally smeared them along the divider. There were hardly any remains of their bodies, so we had to cremate all the pieces together and split the ashes evenly. Which is a bummer since my older brother barely liked this girl. It would have been beautiful if they had been deeply in love or whatever, but they fought all the time. My brother, and I can say this now that he's dead, hit her on several occasions. This is so good.

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  As our premium subscribers here, come on.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  It's good, okay.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  But anyway, oh wait, hold on. She cheated on him with her ex-boyfriend in the army. But anyway, I guess my question is that with my brother dead, that leaves me as an only child. I've never been an only child and now I'm worried that I might fall into that bratty, only child personality just before college and won't be able to make any friends. Do you think I should maybe join a fraternity? Did you write this?

• 1:06:59Matt McCusker?

  That's our premium.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 1:07:02Matt McCusker?

  That's our premium subscriber.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 1:07:05Matt McCusker?

  Man, that's a real, that's a real conundrum. I don't know what I was telling this.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  I thought I was going too dark on this show and then you hand me this. I'm like, oh, I'm fine.

• 1:07:14Matt McCusker?

  This is a perk we give to our premium subscribers. Thank you on Patreon for making this.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Very funny person.

• 1:07:19Matt McCusker?

  You don't have to answer. That's a very uncomfortable question. Do you, uh, do you have anything? I think there's, uh, one more.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got a book.

• 1:07:24Matt McCusker?

  The producers cherry pick these. Producer's been cherry picking these.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  All right. Lady dog here, whoop, whoop.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs. My boyfriend got me hooked to y'all's podcast. Anyway, I'll get to the point. I know girls have a bad reputation for circling around what they're trying to say with unnecessary details. So I try to spell y'all, spare y'all lol. But I'm in a bit of a pickle. The whole thing started with my boyfriend, when me and my boyfriend got drunk and watched porn together. It was his idea, so I let him pick the video since I'm not much of a porn girly. And he started off pretty vanilla, basically like girl scissoring and whatnot. We started hooking up with it on in the background and it was pretty hot, but then the video was over. It was like two minutes and I just clicked the next video, again, two girls and continue

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  giving my man a BJ. And things got, and things were all good. But then, in the video, a short, fat, black guy came into the picture.

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  Alright, a short, fat, black guy came into the picture and had, I'm not lying, the biggest dick I've ever seen. It was like two Coke cans stacked on top of each other. And so, anyway, we started having sex and the video really did something to me. And seeing those women just total, just being totally filled up with this guy's ma- Come on, man.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  It's a premium. Alright, alright, alright, alright. I just wanna, I just wanna reiterate as I'm reading, this is somebody else's words. This is not Kevin saying this shit. That's fair, that's fair. Alright.

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  So I clip this shit up.

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  Alright, and then-

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  Your audio listeners might not know you're reading. You're gonna have Nick Shirley on your-

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  I gotta start talking slower. Licking my lips. It's crazy.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  It's, alright, whatever. So, uh, these women are totally being filled up with this guy's massive penis. And my boyfriend kept saying how wet I was, glancing uneasily at the screen. And so I just pulled him into me, telling him to fuck me or whatever, but then-

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  Or whatever.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  I don't know if it was desperation or what, but my boyfriend, I guess trying to go along with, started dirty talking to me. But in like a black guy voice or whatever, saying stuff like, "You like this big ass black dick girl?" And like, "Oh, goddamn, this pussy slicker than a car wash parking."

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  This pussy, this pussy's slinking in a car wash parking lot.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  Hurry up and come, girl, so I can get back to doing my podcast. Stuff like that.

• 1:10:28Speaker 01

  And honestly, I was kind of mortified, but the video was so good that I actually came. But now my boyfriend thinks he has to talk in like a black accent during, and I've even noticed he's been dressing different too. Did I like accidentally turn him black? Which is, which if so, I'm okay with that, but I just don't know how to bring it up because it seems kind of weird. He's Asian, by the way.

• 1:10:57Matt McCusker?

  Thank you for our premium subscribers.

• 1:11:01Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I don't have any thoughts. Those questions are both a little too complicated for myself. I didn't know.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Yo, you're writing these shit?

• 1:11:07Matt McCusker?

  No, I swear. I'd ask the producer selected them.

• 1:11:14Matt McCusker?

  That's just one of the perks you get. I mean, I wish we had more. I can't really tackle. They're both are too heavy, you know, for me to comfortably tackle.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  He's Asian, by the way.

• 1:11:28Matt McCusker?

  Guys, I can't thank you enough. That was, you guys are great.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  Thank you, Matt. Thank you.

• 1:11:32Matt McCusker?

  You guys have anything you want to plug or whatever? Oh, go ahead, Kevin.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  What am I doing? When does this come out?

• 1:11:39Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. Probably like tomorrow.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. I'm in DC over the weekend, DC Improv with Chris Redd.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  And then follow me on Instagram, Kevin Isopropyl. Yeah, that's it.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  At Ben Avery is good on social media. I got a podcast with my brother, Jace Avery and Devon Costa called Lemon Party.

• 1:12:02Matt McCusker?

  Let's go.

• 1:12:03Speaker 02

  Patreon.com slash Lemon Party, and I do live streams sometimes, BenAvery.live. I go live once a week. If you want to sign up on my website, you'll get notified when I go live.

• 1:12:12Matt McCusker?

  Hell, yeah. Thank you, guys.

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  Thank you, Matt. Appreciate you, buddy.

• 1:12:15Matt McCusker?

  Later.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  Thank you. Cool.

• 1:12:18Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  Do it.

• 1:12:28Speaker 05

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• 1:12:59Speaker 06

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• 1:13:05Speaker 06

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