Michael Bublé asks about selfless acts

Canadian icon Michael Bublé graces Handsome with a question he's afraid to answer for himself! Plus Starmeter silliness, 007-inspired decor, and an update on our fave mom, Ginger. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepod and Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/b583d0bc-eeb0-4560-8b2b-5c8ae0248a19?play=false&utm_source=shared_linkThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:06Mae Martin?

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• 0:24Fortune Feimster?

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• 0:56Mae Martin?

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• 1:08Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I put on some shorts before we debut the handsome gam cam? Oopsie. The whole point of the gam cam is to show off your gams, so you know I'm going to change out of these jeans quick.

• 1:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:47Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers.

• 1:49Mae Martin?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm one of your handsome ho- my voice very deep this morning.

• 1:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:56Mae Martin?

  I'm married.

• 1:57Fortune Feimster?

  Good timing, cowboy.

• 1:58Mae Martin?

  Whoa, I'm joined by?

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune Feimster.

• 2:02Tig Notaro?

  And Tig Notaro.

• 2:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Tig's back in her booth.

• 2:08Tig Notaro?

  I'm in my Colorado booth.

• 2:11Fortune Feimster?

  Colorado booth.

• 2:13Mae Martin?

  In the mountains.

• 2:15Tig Notaro?

  I am. I'm in the mountains and I went rafting yesterday.

• 2:20Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 2:21Fortune Feimster?

  You got that rafting blow?

• 2:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 2:23Fortune Feimster?

  How was it?

• 2:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. It was really fun. It was so beautiful and just floating down the river and saw so many just those kind of crazy nests in trees where like big bird probably lives, you know?

• 2:42Mae Martin?

  Whoa, yeah.

• 2:43Fortune Feimster?

  I wondered where big bird live.

• 2:45Tig Notaro?

  Bald eagles and just unbelievably beautiful.

• 2:49Mae Martin?

  Wow. I think that's, anytime you see a large animal like that in the wild, I think that's very auspicious. I'm still, nevermind. Don't check in with me much today.

• 3:01Tig Notaro?

  Why? What's going on? You're out of your mind? Were you laughing all night? Are you asleep? What's happening?

• 3:09Fortune Feimster?

  Very auspicious.

• 3:11Mae Martin?

  I was up really, I couldn't sleep. And yeah.

• 3:14Tig Notaro?

  Excited about the recording that you would see me in Fortune?

• 3:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I was so excited.

• 3:20Fortune Feimster?

  I can't wait to get on and talk about things with my pals.

• 3:25Mae Martin?

  I was just like-

• 3:26Tig Notaro?

  That's a hit song.

• 3:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that is a good one. I was up like smoking cigarettes and doing work and like feeling very inspired. And then now I've ruined my whole day today.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  And wait, what kind of work were you up doing while you were smoking cigarettes?

• 3:42Mae Martin?

  I was writing, I was painting and I was organizing.

• 3:47Fortune Feimster?

  I thought you about said orgasming. I was like, okay.

• 3:51Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  I thought that's what they were saying.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie.

• 3:56Fortune Feimster?

  Sorry Tig Marie.

• 3:58Mae Martin?

  You know, I probably would have been in bed earlier if I was, but.

• 4:01Fortune Feimster?

  I know, you would have rested, been chill.

• 4:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:08Tig Notaro?

  So do cigarettes kind of get your, your creative juices flowing?

• 4:12Mae Martin?

  No, and I have so much shame about it. I think it's more when I'm anxious and, and, yeah, or stimulated. And, and so I, yeah, I was, I don't know, I couldn't sleep. Anyway.

• 4:23Fortune Feimster?

  That's all right. Take a little nap later today.

• 4:26Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, I will.

• 4:26Fortune Feimster?

  Or you'll go to bed right after this podcast.

• 4:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, just wander back.

• 4:31Tig Notaro?

  When I used to smoke, I feel like it, I would always, well, like if I was playing guitar, you know, I was nineteen in my first apartment and just up all night smoking and.

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  I know, but I'm 40.

• 4:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:46Mae Martin?

  Like, what am I doing? You know what I mean?

• 4:48Tig Notaro?

  But I was just curious if it made you feel creative because I felt like when I would smoke and I don't know if I was just like recreating what I thought was a cool vibe of, you know, playing guitar and smoking, but I felt like it it inspired me, you know? Like, oh, I gotta have black coffee and a cigarette and get my guitar out. What was that that you just showed? It looked like burnt toast.

• 5:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, a slice of burnt toast. I was the same in my in my teens, but now I I guess I still have that habit, but I don't think I'm like putting it on a pedestal or thinking it's cool. It's more like I'm I'm like, I want to go to bed, but I've got stuff to do. And then I, you know, I've been I the you know, remember the fires?

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  Of course, we remember the fires. We've been following this closely.

• 5:40Fortune Feimster?

  We're worried about you.

• 5:41Tig Notaro?

  We're following the fires and your star meter, right?

• 5:46Fortune Feimster?

  And May's house, then whether or not it's still on the hill.

• 5:50Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, in fact, can you check in and see where May's star meter is?

• 5:58Mae Martin?

  I should just have on my wall, like a big counter, a big like, you know, and I can change the number.

• 6:03Fortune Feimster?

  Hitting number one is pretty difficult.

• 6:06Tig Notaro?

  But not just that, Fortune May stayed there for a long time.

• 6:11Mae Martin?

  But

• 6:12Tig Notaro?

  you were the number one star in the world.

• 6:15Fortune Feimster?

  In the world, May.

• 6:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I need you to really take that in. You were the number one out of TV and film. You bumped Tom Cruise. You bumped Sandy Bullock. You bumped them all.

• 6:29Mae Martin?

  Had any of us ever heard of the star meter before that? I'd never heard of it. Oh, really?

• 6:36Fortune Feimster?

  Well, because a lot of actors refer to IMDb for a lot of things. So it's kind of a you're always like looking up who directors are, who people are that you're working with. And that's like the biggest place to see like people's resume as far as. I should have got a lot more offers during that time. I should have been getting phone call.

• 6:59Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's why we're bringing it up again. Okay. Because this is, this is a big deal. And also, can you imagine Fortune if you had just signed on to a project? Or you were meeting, you didn't know May yet, and you were like, oh, I'm meeting with this person, Mae Martin. And then you go on IMDb. It's like, oh, my God, I'm meeting with the number one star of TV and film in the whole world. Thomas, where is May landing?

• 7:27Speaker 04

  As of today, May is number 355.

• 7:31Tig Notaro?

  That's still massive. I don't really understand how.

• 7:35Fortune Feimster?

  I don't understand how it works. Cause in March, in March, I was 85.

• 7:41Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:42Fortune Feimster?

  And now I'm 4,000.

• 7:46Tig Notaro?

  Well, you've been slacking off.

• 7:48Fortune Feimster?

  But I don't, I really don't understand how it works.

• 7:51Mae Martin?

  Wait till the hot comes out. I think, I think I cracked the mystery, which is just that the wayward was number one for a moment. And people were Googling to find out what gender I am. I think that's it. It was number one in Saudi Arabia.

• 8:05Tig Notaro?

  It was.

• 8:05Mae Martin?

  Oh. It was people just going, what is this?

• 8:09Fortune Feimster?

  But I didn't have anything happen in March.

• 8:11Tig Notaro?

  Wait, I didn't know you could look back and see other months. I've just seen it when I.

• 8:16Fortune Feimster?

  You can go back, uh, five years.

• 8:19Tig Notaro?

  Five years. Where was May five years ago?

• 8:25Mae Martin?

  I'd like to see the graph, like the chart, but.

• 8:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, as a line graph. Your page, you just click on Star Meter and it shows you the line graph.

• 8:34Tig Notaro?

  Guys, I just realized we're just about to boost both of your profiles quite a bit. And we need to make sure we have a regular check in with May's Star Meter.

• 8:45Mae Martin?

  Actually, that's really good. If we mobilize any listeners of this podcast, just to just, just go on IMDb and check out all three of us.

• 8:54Fortune Feimster?

  But do you think it's, the Star Meter is like people Googling us? Is that what it is?

• 9:00Tig Notaro?

  I wish I knew.

• 9:03Mae Martin?

  I think it's people visiting our IMDb pages.

• 9:05Fortune Feimster?

  Press hits and searching? I don't really know.

• 9:09Tig Notaro?

  I don't. Thomas, you know how May.

• 9:11Mae Martin?

  People looking at our IMDb pages.

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  Trying to find out our genders.

• 9:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah, seriously.

• 9:20Fortune Feimster?

  They're confused about all three of them.

• 9:22Mae Martin?

  Like, that's not me being humble. That is the only explanation that I can think of. Because there is no way.

• 9:30Fortune Feimster?

  Who are these three?

• 9:32Tig Notaro?

  What are these genders? What am I looking at?

• 9:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And is there a project in Mae Martin's history where the gender's clearer?

• 9:42Tig Notaro?

  Still no.

• 9:43Mae Martin?

  Still no.

• 9:44Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God. That's so funny.

• 9:47Tig Notaro?

  Gender alert. I got off IMDb and got on gender alert.

• 9:54Fortune Feimster?

  Gender. These people are like, we gotta get to the bottom of this.

• 10:01Mae Martin?

  So you went rafting?

• 10:03Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes. I went rafting. I'm here. I've been here in Aspen, you know, with my dear, dear love, Tony.

• 10:12Mae Martin?

  Tony.

• 10:13Fortune Feimster?

  Tony.

• 10:14Mae Martin?

  Who you sent me a picture of and has just the kindest face.

• 10:19Tig Notaro?

  Yes, because it's true. It's true.

• 10:21Fortune Feimster?

  We love a kind face.

• 10:23Tig Notaro?

  Yes, he's got it. And, but yeah, he went on a raft full of lesbians. He was like, this is my sweet spot. And.

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  Were these lesbians you knew?

• 10:34Tig Notaro?

  Two of them. The actress Beth Malone, who I told you, I think I just mentioned, she was the star of Fun Home on Broadway.

• 10:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yep, that's right.

• 10:43Tig Notaro?

  She's a real talent. And her wife Shelley, and they're gaggle of pals. And.

• 10:50Mae Martin?

  Fortune loves a gaggle of gals.

• 10:52Fortune Feimster?

  I love a gaggle of gals. It's truly my favorite.

• 10:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Well, this was a gaggle. And they were no joke rafters.

• 11:02Mae Martin?

  Wow, really?

• 11:03Tig Notaro?

  They're on the river every day.

• 11:05Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God. That's a hardcore lesbian right there.

• 11:10Tig Notaro?

  I mean, seriously. And.

• 11:12Fortune Feimster?

  You gotta bring up the slack in the back, ladies.

• 11:15Tig Notaro?

  That was truly it. That was truly it.

• 11:18Mae Martin?

  Did you ever see that movie with Meryl Streep? And she's a whitewater rafter.

• 11:22Fortune Feimster?

  River Wild.

• 11:23Mae Martin?

  The River Wild with Kevin Bacon is the bad guy. And he's, he is so hot in that movie. And she's doing a lot of paddle, paddle.

• 11:32Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And speaking of hot, I mean, he has aged well, that Mr. Bacon.

• 11:38Fortune Feimster?

  Good-looking man.

• 11:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, he's like, he should be number one on Star Meter. He should be. Number one all the time.

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  Nobody deserves it more than you, May. Okay, we're not.

• 11:51Mae Martin?

  I, you know, I have the most star power of any.

• 11:57Tig Notaro?

  Should we transition this podcast into IMDb Star Meter?

• 12:01Fortune Feimster?

  Star Meter.

• 12:02Tig Notaro?

  Star Meter Talk?

• 12:03Fortune Feimster?

  Star Meter Watch.

• 12:06Mae Martin?

  Star Meter Watch. Good morning. The date is Thursday, June. And checking in today on the Star Meter, we've got a spike.

• 12:14Tig Notaro?

  And then everyone's like, what is this? Unable to get this number one star on our podcast.

• 12:20Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 12:21Fortune Feimster?

  Everyone listening is like, what is this Star Meter?

• 12:24Mae Martin?

  Wait, actually, Thomas, who is, who's number one? Who is number one right now?

• 12:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 12:29Mae Martin?

  Should we guess?

• 12:30Tig Notaro?

  How took May's spot?

• 12:31Mae Martin?

  Let's guess. I think it's, it should be Kevin Bacon.

• 12:36Fortune Feimster?

  I think, I think it's like what's in the zeitgeist right now is what I think it is.

• 12:42Tig Notaro?

  But how much of a, of a heart attack and stroke would we all have if I was the number one on Star Meter?

• 12:48Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna say one of the off campus.

• 12:50Mae Martin?

  I'd be screaming.

• 12:51Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna say one of those off campus stars. I'm gonna go with Belmont somebody. His name's Belmont.

• 12:56Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna go with Hudson Williams from A Heady Rivalry.

• 13:00Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, Thomas, you know?

• 13:03Speaker 04

  It's Indy Navarrett from Obsession.

• 13:06Fortune Feimster?

  Who?

• 13:07Tig Notaro?

  Obsession. Oh, that's the movie.

• 13:09Mae Martin?

  Obsession, I want to see that, but I don't know Indy Navarrett.

• 13:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, that's the number one star in the world.

• 13:16Fortune Feimster?

  I think the number, the number one's like break, like breakout people.

• 13:20Mae Martin?

  It's the people who people are saying, huh?

• 13:23Fortune Feimster?

  Is it, but, but not like, but not like, huh? It's like, a lot of people have watched them do something and it's in the zeitgeist. And they're like, oh, you know, their star has exploded.

• 13:35Tig Notaro?

  Okay, but it's also what is their gender?

• 13:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:40Fortune Feimster?

  That's our other podcast. What is their gender?

• 13:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what is their gender? And we take people and we even take objects. We even, we'll have a whole episode of what is this gender? This can.

• 13:55Fortune Feimster?

  It's just a bunch of men trying to get to the bottom of it.

• 14:03Fortune Feimster?

  We've got to figure this out. I won't sleep until I know.

• 14:08Tig Notaro?

  Well, I've been talking about that on stage when Max and Finn were five. I was writing a bedtime story and Finn interrupted me mid-story, just a children's bedtime story. Could not focus on it because he had to ask me when he was five, "Mare, are you a boy or a girl?" And then I talk about how funny it is to me that, you know, he was saying to Max, like, um,

• 14:35Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna ask.

• 14:36Tig Notaro?

  I gotta get to the bottom of this mystery. Like, I have to know what I'm looking at.

• 14:41Mae Martin?

  Who will not.

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  Because I cannot concentrate on this simple bedtime story.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Mae Martin?

  Really good.

• 14:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I would, I'm up for, um, what's, what's, what's your gender?

• 14:55Mae Martin?

  What gender is this?

• 14:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. It's the gender reveal show. That's what it is. It's a gender reveal show.

• 15:04Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we're on to something, y'all.

• 15:06Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we are. Uh, what, how's, how's, what, what, May? I was gonna check in with Fortune.

• 15:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, let's check in with Fortune, yeah.

• 15:14Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 15:15Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, um, thank you guys for asking. I'm doing pretty good. I'm finally getting my house in order. Um, I have furniture, um, now.

• 15:26Tig Notaro?

  Because you've been standing for the past few months, right?

• 15:28Fortune Feimster?

  Standing except for this desk. Um, I've, I've ordered the last of it, like, um, artwork and rugs. Um, the last thing I have left are lamps.

• 15:39Tig Notaro?

  There's one behind you.

• 15:41Mae Martin?

  There's one.

• 15:41Fortune Feimster?

  This one probably won't stay because it's, it doesn't quite go with anything. It's just a fun yellow lamp.

• 15:49Mae Martin?

  It's pretty yellow, but it looks like that thing, that drawing where you can see two faces in it, you know?

• 15:54Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. It was, I was, during one of my phases where I thought Big Pops of Color were, where it was at.

• 16:00Mae Martin?

  I love that phase of yours.

• 16:02Fortune Feimster?

  My gay designers are just like.

• 16:04Mae Martin?

  Big Pops of Color?

• 16:05Fortune Feimster?

  My gay men designers are just like, no, this is not staying.

• 16:13Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm just like, okay. So.

• 16:20Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I know the regional folklore before visiting a new area? A goblin's curse be upon me. I pride myself on buffing up on local legends and myths before my arrival, so I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know what's said to lurk under bridges in this region.

• 16:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We went through a bunch of fun memorabilia the other day to get framed, so at some point, there's gonna be some fun things on the wall, because getting stuff together to get framed is a real pain in the ass, let me tell you.

• 17:07Mae Martin?

  Do you keep all of the memorabilia? Or are you like, this is special, this is not?

• 17:12Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I don't keep all the memorabilia. I keep things that I'm like, oh, at some point, this would be cool in a frame on a wall.

• 17:22Fortune Feimster?

  But it has been, some of this memorabilia I've had for like, five years. That's how long it's taken me to get my stuff together.

• 17:30Mae Martin?

  You mean memorabilia like, from your career? Like specials or tours?

• 17:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like my first Hatch poster at like, the Ryman, or like, my first tour poster, or like, there's a cool thing they gave me at Celebrity Will of Fortune with my name on it. You know, like little fun, fun things that someone drew, had an artist do a really cool painting of Biggie.

• 17:58Fortune Feimster?

  Things like that, yeah. And then, and then they gave me, as my wrap gift, our special effects guy on the Hawk gave me these really amazing, blown up, black and white photos.

• 18:12Mae Martin?

  Oh, I love that.

• 18:13Fortune Feimster?

  And they're really cool, and I'm getting those framed to put in my den. And I, one's really cool, I've got, I'm like, stretched out, holding this thing, and Will is staring at me. It's, and that, like, the black and white of it looks very artsy, so.

• 18:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and timeless, and that's good.

• 18:32Fortune Feimster?

  So yeah, I'm excited about that, and um, my butt's doing good. What?

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 18:44Mae Martin?

  I can't believe we'd forgotten to ask about your butthole.

• 18:47Tig Notaro?

  I didn't forget. I was not going to ask because I don't need to know.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  For those of you who didn't listen to the last episode, I got a colonoscopy. My friend Nellie Maines from The Chicks picked me up from my colonoscopy.

• 19:02Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna mute you.

• 19:04Fortune Feimster?

  And, and people told me, um, why didn't she sing Wide Open Spaces? And I was like, that's a good one. And now, um, update, she's texted me and was like, I now need you to pick me up in August for something. And I'm like, I got you, girl.

• 19:20Mae Martin?

  I like that. That's

• 19:22Fortune Feimster?

  We're friends that pick each other up from appointments.

• 19:25Mae Martin?

  That's really nice.

• 19:26Tig Notaro?

  That's when you know you're aging.

• 19:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 19:30Tig Notaro?

  Can you pick me up from my, my doctor's appointment, from my colonoscopy?

• 19:35Fortune Feimster?

  That's where we're at. We're picking each other up from doctor's appointments. This is wild.

• 19:41Tig Notaro?

  I want to know when your bright pops of color phase was. Was that like?

• 19:47Fortune Feimster?

  Good question.

• 19:48Tig Notaro?

  Thank you so much.

• 19:50Fortune Feimster?

  It was pre-marriage.

• 19:52Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 19:53Fortune Feimster?

  I had just gotten my first house.

• 19:55Tig Notaro?

  And, and that, and that, that was okayed by, um, Jax?

• 20:01Fortune Feimster?

  No, I wasn't with her then.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  I know, but you, you carried it into the marriage and she approved it?

• 20:06Fortune Feimster?

  No, she did not approve it. She's not a color gal. Um, she's blacks and whites and grays. Um, this, this lived in my office. That was the one space where I could live like a

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Where you can let your free flag fly.

• 20:24Mae Martin?

  So you, so we're saying that special where you had the pink suit, that wasn't during the pops of color phase?

• 20:30Fortune Feimster?

  No, no, that was

• 20:32Tig Notaro?

  Good question, May.

• 20:33Fortune Feimster?

  That is a good question, May. You're, you're right on in that assessment. It was not during my pops of color decor phase, but it clearly was a pops of color wardrobe phase.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  Are you still in that right now?

• 20:49Fortune Feimster?

  No, I think for my next special, I'm going to go back to regular like bomber jacket pants. Yeah, or, or no pants. Yes.

• 20:59Mae Martin?

  Bomber jacket, no pants.

• 21:01Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I don't think I'm gonna go.

• 21:02Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna go back to that.

• 21:03Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I'm gonna go as bold. I think you do it for one and then you switch it up, you know?

• 21:08Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Sure. That makes sense.

• 21:10Mae Martin?

  We're waiting for the gown special.

• 21:14Fortune Feimster?

  Can you imagine if I, I don't think I would be comfortable. My entire, my entire set would be me tugging at.

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  Tugging?

• 21:23Tig Notaro?

  At what?

• 21:23Mae Martin?

  That's what my special's called. Tugging.

• 21:26Tig Notaro?

  Tugging it.

• 21:27Mae Martin?

  Tugging it.

• 21:28Fortune Feimster?

  Tugging it.

• 21:29Mae Martin?

  Tugging it.

• 21:31Fortune Feimster?

  But, but I think I go through phases where I'm into pops of color and right now, everything in my house, there's not many pops of color.

• 21:38Mae Martin?

  I never thought I would hear the, the phrase pops of color so many times today. I didn't anticipate it and I love it.

• 21:45Tig Notaro?

  It surprised me too.

• 21:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:47Fortune Feimster?

  That's what I have to contribute to the design of my house. These gay guys will be very like dialed in and then I go, what about a pop of color?

• 22:00Fortune Feimster?

  And they ignore me.

• 22:02Tig Notaro?

  You can do a pop of color in your kitchen with lemons and oranges in a bowl, you know?

• 22:07Fortune Feimster?

  Right. I do currently have a pop of color in my kitchen with a red KitchenAid mixer.

• 22:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, that'll do it.

• 22:14Fortune Feimster?

  But here's how, here's how easily I'm influenced by these gay guys.

• 22:18Tig Notaro?

  Is that what they asked to be called?

• 22:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  Jesus.

• 22:27Fortune Feimster?

  It's my endearing.

• 22:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:29Tig Notaro?

  Okay, these gay guys came over.

• 22:32Fortune Feimster?

  My gay, every time I see them, I go, here my gaggle of gay men to help me.

• 22:37Tig Notaro?

  My non-binary designers came over today. My non-binaries came over.

• 22:43Mae Martin?

  My bisexual gardener was here today.

• 22:46Fortune Feimster?

  I have a bar, I have a bar cart in my den, cause I love a bar cart. And they somehow convinced me.

• 22:54Tig Notaro?

  Who did?

• 22:55Fortune Feimster?

  The gays somehow convinced me to buy a framed picture of Roger Moore, uh, the original Bond, smoking a cigarette and drinking a drink, cause they were like obsessed with this picture. And I'm like, but is this weird that like me as a lesbian has Roger Moore? And, and I got them away from it and then they came back to it and now I have bought this photo.

• 23:22Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm like, so now I'm gonna have Roger Moore drink cigarette with a drink and, and people, what I love about it is that anyone that knows me is gonna come into my house and be like, why do you have this? And I'm just gonna be like,

• 23:37Tig Notaro?

  The gays.

• 23:38Mae Martin?

  The gays.

• 23:39Tig Notaro?

  You know what you need to change that out with?

• 23:42Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 23:43Tig Notaro?

  A, a picture, a framed picture of Dudley Moore.

• 23:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:49Fortune Feimster?

  They did try to even it out with a very large picture in like literally the main part of the wall. It's a long framed photo of, it's a vintage photo of like six women from like the sixties in those vintage bathing suits with long, long surfboards. So that was their way of being like, here's the lesbian part.

• 24:13Tig Notaro?

  This is, is that the lesbian part?

• 24:16Mae Martin?

  Is any of this representative of your personality?

• 24:20Fortune Feimster?

  But it's gonna look cool, May.

• 24:22Tig Notaro?

  I say, take all that garbage out and put your flash of color light lamp in there.

• 24:28Fortune Feimster?

  No, I do have some pops of color in there. When y'all come over, you're gonna see that.

• 24:33Tig Notaro?

  When are we coming over?

• 24:35Mae Martin?

  I have an idea for a guest for you.

• 24:36Fortune Feimster?

  The end of July. Oh, you're not, you're not gonna be in town, Tig.

• 24:40Tig Notaro?

  I'm not home till early September.

• 24:41Fortune Feimster?

  God, why are you doing this?

• 24:44Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, I don't wanna fight on the show in front of everybody.

• 24:48Fortune Feimster?

  Why are you leaving for so long? Jesus.

• 24:51Tig Notaro?

  I got things to do. I got movies to film. I got jokes to tell. I got mountains to climb.

• 24:57Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a very mountain. Well, at some point, well, May will come over whenever May wants to and at some point.

• 25:05Tig Notaro?

  No, May's not going over there.

• 25:06Fortune Feimster?

  May's gonna come over here.

• 25:08Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, you quiet.

• 25:10Fortune Feimster?

  I think I'm gonna have my mom come visit at the end of July.

• 25:14Mae Martin?

  Oh, I'll come when Ginger's there.

• 25:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'll have people over.

• 25:18Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna, this is what I wanna get you. It's a big frame, but you remember that ad we do for Aura? Photo frames where you digitally, so it's gonna be like a big giant digital frame and it's live updated of whoever's number one on Star Meter and it, and every day.

• 25:34Tig Notaro?

  I think Tony's locked out.

• 25:37Fortune Feimster?

  Tony, not Tony locked out. Oh, Tony's locked out. Knock three times on the ceiling if you won't be. Twice on the pipes. Means you ain't gonna show. Oh, my darling.

• 25:58Fortune Feimster?

  Means you'll meet me in the hallway. That's all the pipes.

• 26:04Mae Martin?

  That was just a really good.

• 26:06Fortune Feimster?

  It's Tony Orlando, isn't it?

• 26:09Mae Martin?

  If you were gonna have a little summation of our sort of comedic personas, who was that? It was Tig getting back on Fortune Mid-Sight and Tig just a little facial expression of what the, what is it?

• 26:21Fortune Feimster?

  Tig's look of disgust.

• 26:23Mae Martin?

  And mid-sight giggling. Giddly giggling.

• 26:28Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's Tony Orlando who sings that song. Your friend's name's Tony and he knocked on your door. There's a lot of tie-ins here. Coming knock on my door. Coming knock on my door. We've been waiting for you.

• 26:51Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, you guys. I'm gonna get my mom, I'm gonna get my mom out here and get her in her bikini. Fortune.

• 27:01Mae Martin?

  Did she have a bikini?

• 27:02Fortune Feimster?

  The heck is going on between you two? No. I can't wait to get my mom out here in her bikini.

• 27:10Mae Martin?

  Get her in the tits out, Tom.

• 27:11Fortune Feimster?

  Get her in the tits out, Hot Tom. You need to get a framed picture of her in your bar. I know. And that's the lesbian.

• 27:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that would be a good surprise for her too, if she showed up and there was a big.

• 27:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. She would love a picture of herself or her, or just the name Ginger. She loves her name in places. I'm trying to, I'm trying to do, I'm trying to not to bring it down, but I guess I am. Her last scan was not good. Oh, I'm sorry. And there, there's more cancer, so I'm just trying to, uh, hmm, schedule some fun things together. Yeah. So, uh. I'm sorry, Fortune. It's all right.

• 27:53Mae Martin?

  And you're gonna get her out to LA as much as possible?

• 27:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, it won't be like all the time. She just hasn't been here and she wants to see my pops of color.

• 28:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 28:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:06Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, so yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go there this summer quite a bit and she'll come here and we'll just do it up.

• 28:14Tig Notaro?

  Yep.

• 28:15Mae Martin?

  We're sending a lot of love.

• 28:17Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed. Yeah, make some special fun plans.

• 28:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 28:23Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh, uh huh. Well.

• 28:27Mae Martin?

  Anyway.

• 28:30Mae Martin?

  Why did I do that? Why did I do that?

• 28:32Tig Notaro?

  Well, because it's.

• 28:34Mae Martin?

  That's part of life.

• 28:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's a, things pop in and they're not always just bright, pretty colors.

• 28:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Tig Notaro?

  Life pops, life pops.

• 28:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Tig Notaro?

  How is Ginger doing?

• 28:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, how was she after that scan?

• 28:49Fortune Feimster?

  Um, yeah, I think it kind of took the wind out of her sails a little bit.

• 28:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:55Fortune Feimster?

  It's weird, cause, um.

• 29:00Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know why I brought this up. It's so stupid.

• 29:06Mae Martin?

  It's not stupid.

• 29:08Tig Notaro?

  No, it's not.

• 29:09Fortune Feimster?

  I was literally talking about buttholes.

• 29:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 29:14Tig Notaro?

  You ruined me.

• 29:16Mae Martin?

  Singing one second.

• 29:21Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm like, my mom's cancer's growing. Oh, my God, I'm so insane.

• 29:29Mae Martin?

  That's what it's like.

• 29:30Tig Notaro?

  That is.

• 29:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:32Tig Notaro?

  That's the reality is.

• 29:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, it's, it's weird because she's lost like so much weight. She's lost like a hundred pounds. So on her outside, she has never looked better and never looked healthier. So it was a real mind.

• 29:49Fortune Feimster?

  Fuck, because we just got back from Europe a couple of weeks ago and she's walking better than she ever has. She's like full of spunk because she's not on chemo. Like she has all this energy.

• 30:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Fortune Feimster?

  And so we just kind of got this like, I think, false sense of like, she is kicking ass. Not that she's not kicking ass.

• 30:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I know.

• 30:11Fortune Feimster?

  But we were just like, and, and we knew that it wasn't going away. Um, but we just were like, okay, she's really keeping this at bay and we're just gonna ride that wave for a long ass time. And she got this MRI and uh, the cancer had grown and it's still in the bile duct, which is positive.

• 30:32Mae Martin?

  That's good. It hasn't, it hasn't spread.

• 30:35Fortune Feimster?

  No, but just, I think it really made us be like, fuck, this is a very aggressive cancer.

• 30:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 30:42Fortune Feimster?

  That it's just grown so significantly.

• 30:45Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 30:46Fortune Feimster?

  And so he called and he wants to do another surgery where he's gonna put more radiation in there. And so, you know, we'll see. It's just a reminder of that this is not going away. Um, and we just gotta make the most of our time and here and hopefully it's a long time. I don't want her to listen to this and get in to, to think I'm like, oh, she's gonna be gone tomorrow. That's not what I'm saying, but it just was like.

• 31:13Tig Notaro?

  Well, no, it's emotional.

• 31:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 31:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:16Tig Notaro?

  It's, it's not about that. It's just, um, yeah, riding that.

• 31:20Mae Martin?

  Roller coaster, yeah.

• 31:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm. But you like, the doctor sounds good and on it and.

• 31:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I mean, because originally they were like, we'll give you your scans in a month. And then he saw it and called, right. It was, he was so urgent that he called my mom. When my mom didn't answer, he called my brother.

• 31:37Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 31:38Fortune Feimster?

  And he's like, we have to get on this like immediately.

• 31:41Tig Notaro?

  And when are you, when is that being scheduled for?

• 31:43Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I think they're, they have to prove it through insurance first and then, um, hopefully that happens soon. That's why he was urgent with it. And then the surgery would probably be in July, early July, mid July, something like that. So, you know, that's, uh, her body, she's eighty, so she cannot.

• 32:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:01Fortune Feimster?

  Do chemo all the time.

• 32:03Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 32:03Fortune Feimster?

  Even though she wants it, she's like, I just wanna, I want to fight this cancer.

• 32:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:08Fortune Feimster?

  Um, she just can't.

• 32:11Tig Notaro?

  Going to spend a chunk of time out there.

• 32:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so you know, it's just, uh, I think she was really bummed out. Uh, you could hear it in her voice.

• 32:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:24Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but she's pretty good at second it up and just being like, all right, let's figure out if there's anything we can do.

• 32:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:32Mae Martin?

  So. One foot in front of the other. Yeah.

• 32:34Tig Notaro?

  Processing and.

• 32:36Fortune Feimster?

  Anyway, how's y'all's buttholes?

• 32:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Well, that is, uh, that's, it's, it's rough, but it's, it's like, there's no way to ride a roller coaster and not have different emotions as you go.

• 32:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:01Tig Notaro?

  Unless you're a robot.

• 33:03Mae Martin?

  It's like a maintenance thing, like the, you'll go through this next hurdle and then.

• 33:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I mean, hopefully, we'll see. It just was kind of jarring to see how quickly.

• 33:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Fortune Feimster?

  It just appears and you're like, good lord, this is very aggressive.

• 33:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 33:23Fortune Feimster?

  Um, so you know.

• 33:26Mae Martin?

  I'm, I'll try and think of some, of some sort of weird, nice things you could do for, not weird, but like weird surprises or something to do for her.

• 33:36Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. Well, we've got Tits Out Hot Tub on the list right now.

• 33:39Mae Martin?

  Well, bikini first of all, don't forget.

• 33:41Fortune Feimster?

  Bikini Tits Out.

• 33:43Mae Martin?

  Professional photographer, take a picture.

• 33:46Tig Notaro?

  You gotta get a picture of her, like especially, um, since she's feeling like she's looking like a million bucks. You gotta get a nice picture, get it framed and put it in your bar, above your bar.

• 34:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah. If you have a picture of her sort of with a nice glass of whiskey or something.

• 34:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yep. All right. Well, I'll, I'll put that on my list.

• 34:13Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Thomas put that on Fortune's list.

• 34:16Fortune Feimster?

  Well, thanks for a little.

• 34:20Mae Martin?

  Anytime sunshine.

• 34:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 34:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we want to ask. Um, yeah, so, yeah, thank you.

• 34:28Tig Notaro?

  Bye.

• 34:28Mae Martin?

  Sharing it.

• 34:28Tig Notaro?

  Guys, say bye to Tony.

• 34:30Fortune Feimster?

  Should I sing the song for Tony? Knock three times on the ceiling if you will.

• 34:35Tig Notaro?

  He can't hear you, so we can just move on from that.

• 34:39Fortune Feimster?

  Question.

• 34:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 34:42Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it. Let's, let's cleanse this palate.

• 34:46Tig Notaro?

  Bye.

• 34:48Mae Martin?

  Bye, Tony.

• 34:49Tig Notaro?

  Off he goes.

• 34:50Fortune Feimster?

  Tony.

• 34:51Tig Notaro?

  On a bus back to Denver.

• 34:54Mae Martin?

  I keep laughing about, well, I ate my lunch in a hole I dug. I, I told poverty about, I've told everyone I know about that.

• 35:03Fortune Feimster?

  That is so funny.

• 35:05Tig Notaro?

  I told Tony about it this morning over coffee and he had a real cackle. He's just like, that is so classic Max. It's just so his personality perfectly. Yes, let's get to our question.

• 35:21Mae Martin?

  I'm thrilled about today's question. I've never met this man, but we're Instagram buddies and, and DM. And there's a certain like camaraderie between all Canadians, I think. Today's question asker is the smoothest, handsomest, five-time Grammy-winning Canadian singer and songwriter, who has sold over seventy-five million records. Michael Bublé is asking today's question.

• 35:47Fortune Feimster?

  Woo.

• 35:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, nice.

• 35:50Speaker 05

  Hey handsome pod, it's Michael Bublé hiding in my laundry slash flicker cabinet thing room. So my kids don't ruin this. Uh, my question is, what is the most charitable and selfless thing that you have ever done? I've done so many, so many of these things about me. What's the most selfless charitable thing that you've done that no one will ever or has never heard about? Because you just did it because it was in your heart to do it and you really didn't want anyone to know. Can you tell us?

• 36:25Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, fine. Finally, we can get a platform to tell.

• 36:30Mae Martin?

  To toot our own horn.

• 36:32Fortune Feimster?

  All of our charitable actions. I'm like, hopefully, one day, someone will ask about this.

• 36:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I mean, I was saying before we logged on, this could be the most insufferable.

• 36:47Fortune Feimster?

  Even his speaking voice is so smooth and.

• 36:49Mae Martin?

  I was just gonna say.

• 36:51Fortune Feimster?

  In tune.

• 36:52Mae Martin?

  Can you do a Michael Buble impersonation?

• 36:55Fortune Feimster?

  Um, okay, um, and I'm feeling good.

• 36:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh, the answer is no.

• 37:09Fortune Feimster?

  That was quick.

• 37:10Mae Martin?

  I think my, my voice is deep enough to, to try it today.

• 37:15Fortune Feimster?

  I wanna go home. What's the, that song?

• 37:18Mae Martin?

  What about?

• 37:19Fortune Feimster?

  Another sun and sun, another sun and sun, and da ba da ba, and I wanna go home. That, was that better, Tig?

• 37:29Tig Notaro?

  Let me go home.

• 37:32Mae Martin?

  Okay, I Googled some lyrics. Okay. You're a fallen star, you're a getaway car, you're the line in the sand when I go too far. That was.

• 37:42Fortune Feimster?

  Thank God you have that deep voice this morning.

• 37:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, good thing you're up smoking all night.

• 37:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm kinda, I mean, smokey raps.

• 37:50Mae Martin?

  To be clear, I think I had three cigarettes. It wasn't crazy.

• 37:53Tig Notaro?

  To be queer.

• 37:54Fortune Feimster?

  To be queer. We can hear it.

• 37:57Mae Martin?

  Say what?

• 37:58Fortune Feimster?

  But I like the, I'm feeling good.

• 38:04Fortune Feimster?

  That's a sexy song.

• 38:05Tig Notaro?

  I mean, let's hope he didn't listen to this.

• 38:10Fortune Feimster?

  Let's hope he did. We're in the business of singing with people on stage.

• 38:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, that's true. Get me, put me in, coach.

• 38:19Fortune Feimster?

  Give me this, give me this opportunity.

• 38:22Mae Martin?

  Give me Buble.

• 38:23Fortune Feimster?

  Give me Buble.

• 38:25Mae Martin?

  Well, the, the tricky part of his question is something nice that you've done that you haven't told anybody about. Cause that's rare for me. Like, you know, you're doing something nice. You wanna.

• 38:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes, all the goodness.

• 38:41Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, God, I haven't done anything nice for anyone. This is tough.

• 38:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 38:47Fortune Feimster?

  This is might be the hardest question we've ever been asked because now I have to think of something nice.

• 38:54Mae Martin?

  Charitable thing that we've done.

• 38:55Fortune Feimster?

  Charitable thing that we've ever done.

• 38:57Tig Notaro?

  I let Tony take a bus up from Denver to hang out with me.

• 39:00Fortune Feimster?

  That was pretty charitable to. You let him stay in your apartment.

• 39:06Tig Notaro?

  Hotel, my hotel.

• 39:08Fortune Feimster?

  Your hotel that had an extra room and you didn't charge him. That was nice. Or did you? Did you charge him?

• 39:14Tig Notaro?

  Little bit.

• 39:20Mae Martin?

  What's the most charitable thing anyone's ever done for you?

• 39:24Fortune Feimster?

  Who's coming into my driveway, y'all? Someone is doing something charitable for me currently because someone's in my driveway and I feel like they're about to drop something off.

• 39:35Tig Notaro?

  If it's a bomb, that's not.

• 39:37Fortune Feimster?

  Y'all.

• 39:39Tig Notaro?

  Girl.

• 39:40Fortune Feimster?

  I'm.

• 39:40Mae Martin?

  Y'all.

• 39:41Fortune Feimster?

  Girl.

• 39:42Tig Notaro?

  Girl, what?

• 39:43Fortune Feimster?

  Someone's, I think it's my radio show just delivered me cupcakes.

• 39:48Tig Notaro?

  Why?

• 39:48Fortune Feimster?

  Why? Just for being you? Just for being me. It's my, because it's my birthday.

• 39:53Tig Notaro?

  It's not your birthday?

• 39:55Fortune Feimster?

  Not today, but in a couple of days, it's my birthday and I'm, I'm going to be out of town for my birthday. So it looks like they just dropped off cupcakes.

• 40:04Tig Notaro?

  I thought they just deliver you morning cupcakes every day just to get.

• 40:08Fortune Feimster?

  That would be 500 pounds. That would be bigger than I am now. Anyway, that was very nice of them.

• 40:15Tig Notaro?

  What kind of cupcakes do you like? Just for future reference.

• 40:18Fortune Feimster?

  I like red velvet. I like chocolate with peanut butter. I like carrot.

• 40:25Tig Notaro?

  I like chocolate with even darker chocolate little chunks in the chocolate.

• 40:30Mae Martin?

  Oh, that sounds good. I like a chocolate cake, cupcake with vanilla ice cream, like white icing, icing.

• 40:37Tig Notaro?

  Wait, is this what Michael asked us?

• 40:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, no, okay. Most charitable thing we've ever done.

• 40:43Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I always try to do nice things for people. Like, it's so weird to be like, I did this and this, but like.

• 40:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like I do big charity things, but then I talk about it incessantly, like the, the book of animal paintings. I did Doctors Without Borders, but you know.

• 41:00Fortune Feimster?

  That's really nice.

• 41:01Tig Notaro?

  Now, can charitable be just like?

• 41:03Mae Martin?

  Interpersonal.

• 41:04Fortune Feimster?

  Just, yeah, helping a friend out. Like, I'm gonna pick up Natalie from her.

• 41:10Tig Notaro?

  Butthole.

• 41:10Fortune Feimster?

  Doctor's appointment.

• 41:13Mae Martin?

  I can think of in my teens, so many people that were charitable with me like. I had a friend, well, it was my girlfriend at the time and I was living in her parents basement. And then I think they wanted me out and so they paid my first and last month rent on a place. That was really nice.

• 41:33Tig Notaro?

  Cause they wanted you out?

• 41:34Mae Martin?

  I think they were like, get out of here.

• 41:37Tig Notaro?

  We've had it.

• 41:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 41:40Fortune Feimster?

  A lot of my teachers were very charitable with me with their time and energy.

• 41:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 41:45Fortune Feimster?

  Which I was always very appreciative of. They spent extra time with me when they could see like if things were hard at home. They would spend the extra time in the morning just checking on me. I had, you know, if I, I was not great with math, so like teachers would take extra time to like.

• 42:04Tig Notaro?

  You seem like you're good at math now.

• 42:07Mae Martin?

  You're crunching numbers.

• 42:09Fortune Feimster?

  I can crunch numbers, but it's like more of the like algebra and geometry of it all, like that bullshit. That you only need if you're like an architect.

• 42:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Which we're not.

• 42:21Fortune Feimster?

  So, you know, and I, you know, I, people were charitable with me when it really, I really needed it. Like growing up, we didn't have much money and the recreation department like got me like a scholarship to a tennis. Summer camp, you know, like things like that made a big difference.

• 42:38Tig Notaro?

  Did you wear a tennis skirt?

• 42:40Fortune Feimster?

  I did not, I wore shorts, but I had to wear a skirt in college. Ugh.

• 42:46Tig Notaro?

  Was it the ugh about college?

• 42:48Fortune Feimster?

  No, about the tennis skirt. So I've always tried to like do that kind of stuff in return, like help people out if they need, you know. Especially in comedy, like with openers, like you try to give them people opportunities if they're like a good person and they're funny. And they work hard. I, I really, um, you know, try to do things for them in that way. As far as like bringing them on the road or introducing them to people like I like to think of like, oh, this person's funny. He'd be good on this show. And if he's on that show, that'll be good exposure for him for this.

• 43:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Fortune Feimster?

  I try to be charitable in that way in, in the careers. I don't run, I don't have my own show or anything like that. So I can't just employ people, but I'm always trying to put people with other people to network for them.

• 43:35Tig Notaro?

  How come you haven't done that for me?

• 43:36Mae Martin?

  You don't need it. How come you never let Tig open for you?

• 43:40Fortune Feimster?

  Tig does not need it and Mays is the number one star meter. You guys are good.

• 43:46Tig Notaro?

  Mays is the number one star in the world.

• 43:49Fortune Feimster?

  My biggest charity case is my mother.

• 43:54Fortune Feimster?

  I'm always buying my parents. I'm always buying stuff for my parents.

• 44:01Tig Notaro?

  I know. They deserve it.

• 44:02Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 44:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, I try. I try to be generous as in general.

• 44:10Mae Martin?

  I've worked in an orphanage.

• 44:11Fortune Feimster?

  So hard for us.

• 44:13Mae Martin?

  I know. Well, it's because like there's charity stuff, but then it's like a charitable act. Yeah. Well, there's, I've been trying to, I met this older couple when I was on tour. I probably, maybe I talked about them who were, they were security guards at one of my shows. And then I met them, I saw them in the parking lot after late at night. It was like midnight. And they were going through the garbage. They were collecting cans and they, and so I, then they came, well, the guy came over and they were in their 60s and, and he said, oh, I'm, I'm embarrassed you saw me collecting cans, but like we've been working since 7 a.m. then on, on other jobs. Then we took the job to do security at your show. Now we're going to trade these cans.

• 44:52Mae Martin?

  And because my wife has cancer and we, we are broke and we, she's beating the cancer, but it's like medical bills. And then, um, so they, and then I met the wife and they really stayed with me these two because they were borderline living in their van, you know? And then I got all their details and now I can't, because they're not getting back to me and I want to be charitable. And I'm like trying to find that, like I've been emailing and being like.

• 45:20Tig Notaro?

  Tell them you're the number one star in the world.

• 45:23Mae Martin?

  I want to, yeah, I just want them to know that.

• 45:29Mae Martin?

  No, but I really want to like set up a GoFundMe or just help out with, with some cash. But I don't know how you find people or maybe they're like fuck off. I don't know. You know, right now.

• 45:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Mae Martin?

  Tig?

• 45:46Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, it's interesting because years ago, when Hurricane Katrina happened and it leveled my hometown in Mississippi and, you know, of course, was so destructive in New Orleans and so many other places. But I have a lot of family and friends out there and I just, I thought, well, what, this is the first time I learned the, the power of connection through social media because I wasn't on social media and this woman I was dating put it on her social media

• 46:24Tig Notaro?

  that I was gonna rent trucks to bring food and clothing and diapers and stuff to drive that out there. And, and people were showing up with cash and for two days, like around the clock, people were in my front yard and house, like folding clothes and packing things. And I remember it was, this, it was such a, an interesting moment because I was personalizing it, thinking like, God, this is so nice that people are helping me in my town and that area of the country I came from. And then it was like, oh, right, this has nothing to do with me.

• 47:06Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 47:07Tig Notaro?

  Me organizing this doesn't have anything to do with me and people donating because people, I think, just instinctually want to be helpful. And, and then you become this vessel to create action and help. And, and then, once I had that real understanding of like, this is, this is, this, I am, I am not in this equation. This is truly, you're setting up a, a way for people to be involved and, and to help. And it just, it was a really big learning curve for me.

• 47:51Mae Martin?

  That's nice, yeah.

• 47:52Tig Notaro?

  As embarrassing as it is to admit that I was at, initially thinking like, God, this is so nice for helping me out because of my town. And I'm like, It doesn't have a thing to do with me. Yeah.

• 48:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, that's the, that is the one nice thing about having some sort of platform is like, sometimes you don't exactly know how to help, but you are sort of able to get information out to people better than others. So, um, like when the hurricane happened in, uh, western North Carolina, like you feel helpless. Like I can't go there and do anything, but like I can post about donate to hear here. This is a good charity. This is legit. Yeah. And then people start writing you and be like, you know, can you post about this? And so being the person that like, sort of just gets, because like you said, people want to help in these

• 48:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you've become the vessel.

• 48:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. They don't know where to, to, where to put their money or what to do. And so if there's someone facilitating that, it's really helpful.

• 48:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I'll also say so many of these charities, what they, what is so helpful to them is like regular monthly donations, even if it's small, because it allows them to budget and

• 49:06Tig Notaro?

  Plan.

• 49:07Mae Martin?

  Plan and change the services they offer and stuff and see where they're coming up short. So even like five bucks a month for, yeah, especially non-government funded charities. That's so

• 49:19Fortune Feimster?

  Something, something that my, in my twenties, so I would highly recommend this to any young people out there who, uh, for a multitude of reasons want to help and also like bring people together, like, uh, in a kind of communal way. Uh, when I was in my twenties, I lived with two roommates and none of us had much money, but we would, we had a yard. So we would throw these, um, backyard barbecues like once every like six months. And we would make it a potluck where like, we just bought like hamburgers and hot dogs and everybody would bring everything else. And I was a journalist at the time. And so I would get a lot of random things and like gift bags or like DVDs or

• 50:02Fortune Feimster?

  whatever. So I would accumulate all these random, and it, some of it was like the dumbest stuff that like you would throw away or not want, but like it's funny. So I'd accumulate all this. Stuff and because we lived in LA, we knew all these different talented performers and like a magician, singers, improv artists, actual artists, like, and every barbecue, we would have like three or four groups of people perform one of their talents. And we would have this raffle for these dumb presidents and we would raise, we would pick a random charity and it, and we never raised a ton of money, but a, you know, a couple or hundred bucks, because everybody our age just didn't have much money.

• 50:47Fortune Feimster?

  But we would raise like 500 bucks or something and donate it to a local charity. And then, and people had the best time in the process. They, we, we had people like meet their future partners that got married, meet people that connected at work, stuff like, we just brought all these random people together that we all knew and, and the process raised money in a little way.

• 51:11Tig Notaro?

  Good way to build a community too, a little block party. Yeah.

• 51:15Fortune Feimster?

  It's one of my favorite memories from my twenties. So if anyone's ever looking to just sort of, you know, branch out in your area, um, that was a really cool way to do it.

• 51:28Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 51:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 51:30Tig Notaro?

  Well, aren't we good?

• 51:32Fortune Feimster?

  We're so, you guys were so good.

• 51:34Tig Notaro?

  We're such good people.

• 51:36Fortune Feimster?

  Karma is vast.

• 51:37Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 51:37Fortune Feimster?

  In all the good ways.

• 51:40Tig Notaro?

  I mean, it's like, the, the stories we could tell of the good we have done.

• 51:47Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, luckily, you know, I think everybody, you know, hopefully finds their own way to, to donate or give back in whatever way they can. I mean,

• 51:58Tig Notaro?

  That's the thing.

• 51:59Fortune Feimster?

  Not always financial, yeah.

• 52:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Sometimes people think it has to be this huge, huge act of giving or.

• 52:08Tig Notaro?

  Kind of just the tiniest thing.

• 52:12Mae Martin?

  People also really need volunteers, like, like food on foot and, and also with midterms coming up, like boots on the ground, people knocking on doors for small grassroots campaigns.

• 52:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I thought you meant midterm exams for a second.

• 52:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But midterms are coming up.

• 52:29Tig Notaro?

  I gotta get the boots on the ground.

• 52:31Fortune Feimster?

  Boots on the ground. But if we, in financial terms, big shout out from this podcast to Mackenzie Scott, because this article just came out that of last year of the $19 billion that was donated, donated by big, the big money people, she was a third of it.

• 52:52Mae Martin?

  Who's Mackenzie Scott?

• 52:54Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, Jeff Bezos' ex-wife.

• 52:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Oh, no way. And she just said, fuck it. Um.

• 52:59Fortune Feimster?

  She, she got a lot of money in their divorce and she is giving it in boatloads to various charities, but like really amazing, like to women's health, to historic black colleges, to like.

• 53:14Tig Notaro?

  She's one of those billionaires that's understanding she doesn't need all of that money.

• 53:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:20Tig Notaro?

  And she's, I mean.

• 53:22Mae Martin?

  Elon Musk just became a trillionaire, right? I mean, sick it, it's absolutely like, just nauseating that.

• 53:29Fortune Feimster?

  She is doing incredible stuff. It's so, it's so amazing to see someone with that power and money.

• 53:36Tig Notaro?

  And not flashy about it.

• 53:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no, yeah.

• 53:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she's just, uh, it's, it's wild.

• 53:43Fortune Feimster?

  So we need more of that, we need more of that spirit.

• 53:46Tig Notaro?

  What people can or could do and what people aren't and don't.

• 53:51Fortune Feimster?

  Well, she's putting all them rich people to shame. She's doing incredible stuff. So shout out to her. And shout out to anybody else who's doing cool stuff for other people. Keep it up.

• 54:02Tig Notaro?

  Should we hear what incredible stuff Michael's doing?

• 54:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, let's hear it. Yes.

• 54:06Tig Notaro?

  Let's hear his pat on the back.

• 54:11Speaker 05

  I didn't realize I had to answer my question. I would have asked a way simpler question if I don't, I had to answer my own question. Something like, how do you wash your bum? Anyway, so my answer to my question is I think the most selfless, maybe charitable thing that I've done, never told anybody was that I bring my kids to a toy store a lot and we buy toys so that we can donate to the children's hospital. And, uh, but my kids are still little, so they don't understand why we're buying toys, but none of them are for them. They're for the other kids. And even though, I mean, they're beautiful, but they, yeah, they're very disappointed in me for many things. And I feel like that's a pretty selfless thing.

• 54:55Mae Martin?

  Can I say that, um, I had sent Thomas the question video that Michael had sent me and then Thomas said, hey, can you send the answer video? And I'd forgotten. So I quickly sent, and I sent it to a different Thomas friend of mine, my friend Tom Aaron, just, and he, he got this video of Michael Buble being like, anyway, guys, this is what I did. And he really, his, his response, like he tried to roll with it as though he thought I sent it to him because I thought he'd enjoy it. He's like, wow, this is great. Anyway, so cool. He's like, so cool that he goes to, uh, Toys R Us. And I was like, oh, this is not for you.

• 55:32Fortune Feimster?

  He thinks you're just like, look at what Michael Buble did.

• 55:37Fortune Feimster?

  Like Canadian giving spirits.

• 55:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 55:42Mae Martin?

  But that is great to teach that lesson to his kids at a young age, too.

• 55:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. For sure. My brother's really good about that. He's, they're always like, his wife will have them, um, go through their room when they were, especially when they're little, go through toys and be like, we're gonna donate this amount to charities. And, you know, anytime they got something new, they would donate other things. I felt that was a good, a good foundation to start at a young age.

• 56:10Mae Martin?

  When you were a kid, did you ever collect pennies? And then do you remember putting them in those little rolls of, to donate?

• 56:16Fortune Feimster?

  Still do it.

• 56:16Mae Martin?

  Do you? No, why? I, uh, I, I used to see that from-

• 56:20Fortune Feimster?

  I haven't seen a penny in years.

• 56:21Mae Martin?

  World Wildlife Fund.

• 56:22Fortune Feimster?

  I think they stopped making them now.

• 56:24Mae Martin?

  They did just mint the last penny. That was a thing. They minted the last penny. That's heartbreaking, actually.

• 56:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Yeah. So now places have to like round up or down.

• 56:33Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm. Outrageous.

• 56:35Fortune Feimster?

  Outrageous. What has this world come to?

• 56:40Tig Notaro?

  We were so generous giving away our pennies all those years ago.

• 56:45Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm feeling good.

• 56:51Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's a good.

• 56:51Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, that's good.

• 56:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you know how I feel, don't you know?

• 56:58Mae Martin?

  It's a new day.

• 56:59Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wait, that is the same song. I was like, that's a great song, too.

• 57:06Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, you guys, what a podcast.

• 57:11Mae Martin?

  I just need you to know that I'm saving for a future episode, a car incident that happened to me. But I'm saving it for next time.

• 57:20Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, you're gonna save it for the next one?

• 57:22Tig Notaro?

  Tune in, tune in.

• 57:23Fortune Feimster?

  Don't forget, Meg, because we're gonna be on the edge of our seats.

• 57:26Tig Notaro?

  Tune in either next week or another week.

• 57:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that would be funny if at the end of each episode, we gave a teaser.

• 57:34Fortune Feimster?

  Like, I promise you, next week, we're gonna talk about this car incident.

• 57:38Tig Notaro?

  Next week, we reveal May's star meter. That's at the end of every episode.

• 57:49Tig Notaro?

  I have some tour dates, if anybody cares.

• 57:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we do.

• 57:52Mae Martin?

  We care.

• 57:53Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, I'm gonna be in Rochester, New York. I am going to be in Calgary. I'll be in Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Olympia, Washington, Fresno, and Napa. And more dates are coming, and bigger markets also will be added down the road. Go to tignotaro.com for all of the information that you possibly need.

• 58:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Starting August 6, I pick my tour back up again in West Hampton Beach, New York. Then the Foxwood Casino in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Halifax, Canada, Provincetown, Mass, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina. That's all in August. And then there's tons more, like Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Chattanooga, Dayton, Louisville, and Madison, Durham, Oakland, Bakersfield, LA, Palm Springs, Nashville, and then filming my special in Denver, which they have been. Denver's been crushing it with this. I'm so excited. I think we're gonna end up doing three shows.

• 59:06Tig Notaro?

  Maybe Tony will show up.

• 59:07Fortune Feimster?

  Tony, get on that.

• 59:09Mae Martin?

  I'll turn on my door. I have, in the next few days, I have warm-up shows for my special taping in Toronto at Buddies and Bad Times Theater on the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. And then on the 26th, I'm taping in Montreal, doing two shows. I hope that they're sold out by now when this comes out, but if they haven't, please come there. And then the 29th, I'm back in LA at Largo. And then the 30th, I'm at UCB with Atlanta Johnston and Matt Fuller.

• 59:44Tig Notaro?

  Unbelievable. And also, please rate and review this podcast. It helps us like you'd never believe. Also, subscribe to the audio and YouTube. And we come out one day early on Hulu, if you can't wait for this nonsense.

• 1:00:02Fortune Feimster?

  And also, if you're looking for a fun new show to watch, The Hawk is on Netflix right now, streaming. Very fun show that I'm in and Amaze in, and you should watch it.

• 1:00:15Mae Martin?

  I mean, but imagine then, by the time this comes out, the star meter.

• 1:00:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, May, our star meters are going to be off the charts.

• 1:00:25Tig Notaro?

  I'm gonna fall off of the charts. You guys.

• 1:00:28Mae Martin?

  We're gonna bump you off.

• 1:00:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you're gonna bump me fully off. Well, until next time, what do you say we?

• 1:00:36Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at [email protected] and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:01:05Speaker 06

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:01:06Speaker 07

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:01:08Speaker 06

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 1:01:29Speaker 07

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:01:42Speaker 06

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:01:53Speaker 07

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.

• 1:02:01Fortune Feimster?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I seal my beans before I wrap up my coffee routine in the morning? Aw, rats. Now, my coffee's a bit stale, and I only have myself to blame for my subpar espresso.

• 1:02:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.