Best Mall Food Court! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: DraftKings: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code AYG spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days - includes all markets. Factor: Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/garbage! Promo Code: GARBAGE BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage. Promo Code: GARBAGE Gambling Problem? Call one eight hundred GAMBLER, one eight hundred MY RESET. Connecticut: call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven, visit CCPG dot org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbook to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days OR Trade with DraftKings Predictions to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable Rewards issued as Fifty dollar click-to-claims every seven days for twenty-one days. Terms at d k n g dot c o slash offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Stop the presses, gang. The American Garbage Special is out on YouTube right now. Numbers are cooking. We thank everybody for their support. Keep sharing it. Keep telling everybody about it. We love you.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, and if you like what you saw, we are on tour right now. We're gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin, San Jose, San Diego, Tacoma, Atlanta, Philly, Springfield, Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Phoenix, Arizona, Timonium, Maryland, Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus. All tickets available at areyougarbage.com. If you got a garbage question, come out and see the boys.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:57H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they have to be classy.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02H. Foley?

  Just a big old piece of trash.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 1:04H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new addition. She's upstairs doing some chin-ups.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:12H. Foley?

  Got the bar crushing it out.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  What's she doing, overhand or underhand?

• 1:15H. Foley?

  Under, baby. She's got it. She has Cape Fear written on her knuckles, too. Fair enough, good movie. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode, just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is my best pal in the whole wide world.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 1:34H. Foley?

  And I love him. I'd do anything for this guy.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Except treat me nice.

• 1:39H. Foley?

  Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  How are you, gang? Thanks a lot. Henry, good to fucking see you.

• 1:46H. Foley?

  Call me by my Christian name?

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Nice to meet you, Mr. Foley. Inmate number 7943.

• 1:51H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  What? Uh, shout, first of all, shout out to the motherfucking homies and bozos who are making garbage for tuning in. Listen, the special has dropped and there's a fucking motor on it, gang.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Over a quarter million the first day.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  The army of garbage has shown the fuck up. Shout out to Ollie. We can't thank you enough.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, if you haven't already, if you're an audio listener, whatever, whatever, please go check out our special on our YouTube channel.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  American Garbage.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  Share with a friend. Throw it in the group chat. Throw a story up. We fucking love you. Thank you so much. Really bootstrapping this frickin' thing to get it up and get it going.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Grassroots.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Grassroots.

• 2:27H. Foley?

  Old school.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Old school, baby. I'm old school, Janice.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  How we do it. Talk about at the water cooler, something. Tell people in the office, you know what I mean?

• 2:36Speaker 01

  We're trying to get a season two around here, you know what I mean?

• 2:38H. Foley?

  Let's do this.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, so, but, uh, honestly, the response has been awesome.

• 2:44H. Foley?

  Fantastic.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  It's been really cool. A lot of comics reaching out. They're like, you wouldn't expect watching it. Like, hey, I watched it last night, blah, blah, blah. We're on the road, we watch it. So it was all very cool. It makes me feel nice and warm and fuzzy.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  It's a nice product.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Very nice. Very proud of it. Shout out to Connor Kelly and all the fucking boys that helped on it. Uh, and also, uh, shout out to the good folks of Tampa that came out and shared your insanely dirtbag stories and let us put it out for, you know, hundreds of thousands of people.

• 3:12H. Foley?

  Woo. I feel bad, though. We, uh, we missed one in the credits, though.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Who?

• 3:17H. Foley?

  Slide camera operator.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  I know, you were on there, no?

• 3:20Speaker 03

  I was in the producer.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  He's a producer. That's part of the producer. You gotta wear multiple hats.

• 3:25H. Foley?

  The thing wouldn't have took it off without the slide cam, Luke. You got screwed on that deal.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Instrumental into the transition.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Luke got to work one of the big boy cams and was, uh, you know, really went to his head, but like, like the rest of, like the rest of his responsibilities.

• 3:41H. Foley?

  Did you like your headset? You had your headset on.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Love that. It was the training wheels of cameras.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, we know. I wasn't paying them to give you a good camera.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  There was no way, yeah, to fuck that up.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  But I loved it.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Good shit.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  That special. American garbage, baby.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Check it the frig out. Um, all that being said, uh, I got a little something I wanted to get into.

• 4:03H. Foley?

  Lay it on me.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  I was, uh, I had a, I had a wedding last week and I needed a last, I needed a last minute shirt. So I went to, I needed a shirt. My wife needed something.

• 4:15H. Foley?

  Cause you don't do button downs.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  I'm taking that from Sal Vakano. I'm done with shirt and tie.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  What'd you have, a t-shirt?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Nah, I did like a knitted, uh...

• 4:24H. Foley?

  Collar?

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a knitted polo, kind of. But nice, nice. Real nice.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  Tucked in?

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Went no tuck. Looked better untucked, if I'm being honest. And not in like a... Yeah, it just, it fell perfectly.

• 4:39H. Foley?

  I get you.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Also, my suit, no belt, just them little fucking side johns. No belt loops on it. That's a real European or something, I feel.

• 4:47H. Foley?

  No belt?

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Which made me, no, which, it just has like these like pull tab, like these old school like belt and, you know, like a sailor would wear.

• 4:56H. Foley?

  You must have been sagging.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  No, I was all right. I was real nervous, though.

• 5:00H. Foley?

  What does that do for your, no belt? What's that do for your confidence?

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Not, not a lot.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  Freaked the fuck out.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Not a lot. Yeah.

• 5:07H. Foley?

  What'd you say?

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Diaper butt.

• 5:10H. Foley?

  Probably looked good for the first five minutes.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Well, that's what the, that's what happens with a shirt and tie with a guy my size. And like, and my wife's like, no, the shirt and tie looks good. I'm like, it pulled there. And then you add in, add in eight buttons? And then tuck that in? There's too much pulling. The fabric gets, I pull, I'm too, I even do this and my sleeves come up here. It's like a bad look.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  The sweat.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  That neck doesn't button right either.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Looks like I'm working at fucking, you know, Wannamakers. It's, I look like a schmuck, a schmendrick. But, so I had to go get it. I was trying to find a shirt. Typical me is like fucking the wedding's in like, you know, eight hours and I'm like trying to hit stores to find. That's the kind of thing that sucks about shopping now. Like, you can obviously get anything delivered to you in 48 hours. But if you need something in six hours, your options are fucking zilch.

• 5:58H. Foley?

  Looking around Burlington Coat Factory.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  You're going, mate, and then you're going, do you guys have this? And they're like, I don't think so.

• 6:04H. Foley?

  I always get fucked on the seasons. You know what I mean?

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 6:07H. Foley?

  Ah, we don't have any of that stuff anymore. It's whatever. You know what I mean? Fuck. Need a goddamn bathing suit.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  In January? Um, so I went, you know, I, we had to go to the mall. Went to the mall.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  This is day of?

• 6:22Speaker 01

  No, this is, this is day before.

• 6:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  But I did the thing where I saw a couple I liked online. I was gonna order them, but I didn't. And then I'm like, you're really at the, yeah. Went to the mall.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Macy's?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Went to, tried Macy's. Dude, it's, you go into a department, this is just a, this isn't even part of the thing, it's just of the times. They, I, we were in a, we were in a Bloomingdale's.

• 6:47H. Foley?

  Really?

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Which it's like, to me, going into Bloomingdale's before would be like walking into the bank vault. Like, you had to have clearance. We did not belong there.

• 6:55H. Foley?

  Suit on, you get lunch.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  We didn't even like exit through there. I never, I honestly, I don't think I went into a Bloomingdale's until I was probably 30.

• 7:03H. Foley?

  Really?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  In New York.

• 7:04H. Foley?

  We always walked through the nice store.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  My, none of my...

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Felt rich, walked through the perfume department?

• 7:09Speaker 01

  None of my malls had it.

• 7:10H. Foley?

  Really?

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Uh-uh. The closest one would have been Willow Grove.

• 7:14H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Oxford Valley and Neshamity didn't have, the big, the best thing they were doing was, I mean, Neshamity was a boscoffs. That was, that was the big anchor.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  Yikes.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Uh, I think that they had a Macy's tour, Straw Bridges or something. Had a cow door back when I was banging, but, uh, we, yeah, we never, so I didn't know, to me, that was like...

• 7:34H. Foley?

  Bloomingdales.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Bloomingdales was like Sex and the City. You know what I mean? I go to Bloomingdale's. Um...

• 7:40Speaker 01

  You go into any department, so I had to go to the bathroom in Bloomingdale's and they were like, oh, it's on the third or fourth floor. They're like empty vacant space.

• 7:48H. Foley?

  Back in the alley, fucking fluorescent lights.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  They're like, yeah, keep going down there.

• 7:52H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  It's just like concrete, it's like, it's bad. Retail in the US is in a bad, bad shape.

• 7:59H. Foley?

  Bad news.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Um, but I went to an Express and ended up finding a nice shirt at Express. Shout out to Express. Nice, okay, doing it. But I went to try it on. I don't like trying stuff on, but I went to try it on because I don't really have time. You know what I mean? It's like, I just have, this has to get it.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  You don't have time...

• 8:17Speaker 01

  For it to not work.

• 8:18H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Why you went to Express?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 8:23H. Foley?

  Pretty good, Luke.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  A bad joke, shark, double that.

• 8:25H. Foley?

  Would you have just rolled the dice and grabbed it and rolled?

• 8:27Speaker 01

  No. Uh, if I had another time to go out and get it.

• 8:32H. Foley?

  You would've.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  I would've. But I can't, I'm not gonna go home and then I'd have to drive back to the mall and get it. So I was like, let me just try it on.

• 8:39H. Foley?

  You got a true classic on it?

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Uh, dude, I'm waiting to, I'm waiting to, they're, all, they're all combined, the fitting rooms. It used to be by gender. That's no longer the case. It's like a goddamn orgy in there. You know what I mean? Like swinger party.

• 8:54H. Foley?

  People sitting in the middle?

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Like a key party. Yeah, it's crazy. I'm a little bit of fucking privacy here. You know what I mean? There's, there's three or four rooms, that's it.

• 9:05H. Foley?

  Right.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  For like the, the whole fucking men's and women's department. So I'm waiting.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  A woman comes out and they go, you can go in here. She had a sack full of Wendy's food in there with her.

• 9:22H. Foley?

  Really?

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Which one, you're walking around the mall with active, active fast food in the mall.

• 9:31H. Foley?

  Now what it used to be.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  She eating in there?

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Express used to be a nice, that was a classy joint.

• 9:36H. Foley?

  It was a young, cool store.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  She wasn't eating, she was just maybe taking it home. I mean, she was slurping, she was sipping her drink. Obviously, if you get the drink and you're not, you don't rip into the food, you have a couple of sips.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  But I felt like I was, once I got in there, I immediately closed the door. There's no vent, like, there's no ventilation. I felt like I was in the Wendy's bag, dude. It was, I felt, it was

• 10:00H. Foley?

  greasy.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Oh, it was bad.

• 10:03H. Foley?

  Yikes.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  But that's just like, that's where we're at now.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Why not eat, I don't get, eat it at the food court. I'm okay with getting it and eating it.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  Heathens walking around.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Well, you're, you're shopping for clothes.

• 10:16H. Foley?

  With a bag of Wendy's.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  With an active bag of Wendy's.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  Man, I'll give you some Annie Anne's, you walk around with some nuggets, something like that.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  A snack.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  This was like, this wasn't just like, this was like the big, like the eight by ten bag.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  Crushing a burger in there.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  And they never have handles, so it just looks even tr- you're like, it's at the top, you know, like you're an old bank robber or something.

• 10:38H. Foley?

  There's a bunch of cash in there.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, it was, it felt gross. It felt

• 10:45Speaker 01

  disgusting.

• 10:46H. Foley?

  Shirt fit?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Shirt fit looked good.

• 10:48H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Went with a large.

• 10:50H. Foley?

  Shirt's not bad. When you gotta do pants and stuff like that, I hate that.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  It all sucks.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  Take my shoes off and all that shit.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  I hate it. Like, I have my, I have like, there's something in my chromosomes that's like, from being a fat kid my whole life, and then it's just like, nothing ever fit and I never liked the way I looked, so I hate, like, it's like a bad physical reaction because I'm like, oh, I'm gonna look like the fat, I'm just gonna sit here and look at my fat.

• 11:14H. Foley?

  Oh, suddenly it gets hot in there, it's sticking.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Stomach starts hurting and feet start going and shit. Fuck that. Yeah, it sucks. But, all that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. Uh, as you know, when you join the old Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air. That's American garbage, folks.

• 11:33H. Foley?

  On YouTube.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Check it out.

• 11:35H. Foley?

  Thing's cooking.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Um, yes, yes, yes. Um, let's see here, this one's a great name, this is from Buttcheeks McGee. Uh, when's the first time you cursed in front of adult? When I was 13, my buddy's dad let us have a beer in the garage while he showed off his Camaro and I said, this thing's bitchin'. He looked at me and said, we don't talk like that here.

• 11:59H. Foley?

  That always sucked when the other family had like their rules that weren't yours.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  Fucking, I mean, if you were a little trashier.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  But it's also, you're sitting there having a beer with a guy, you're showing your Camaro, you can't say bitchin'.

• 12:12H. Foley?

  Come on. Bitchin', titties, ass, you have a couple of these beings to do.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Cause you know for sure there was some fucking, you know, there was some scantily clad, uh, calendar or something hanging out.

• 12:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, what the fuck?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Uh, that's, I am the king of that though. Uh, that, my whole life, I've been the guy who gets a little, like, if I go, oh, this is

• 12:32H. Foley?

  A little too comfortable?

• 12:33Speaker 01

  A little too comfortable, a little too quick. Yeah, and I always, and we're not that kind of family.

• 12:39H. Foley?

  I yelled one time in my buddy's house, like, walking up the stairs, I like, yeah, yelled, and his mom goes, we don't yell in this house. What the fuck, lady? Jesus Christ, make you feel like a dirtbag.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was always, I was always pretty good at toeing the line of like, hey, what, I I would read it and just go, this is, I was always like very respectful and go, this is it. But then the second you gave me, we're 13, cracking a beer, I'm one of the guys.

• 13:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, you're smoking in the living room.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:07H. Foley?

  Going through the fridge.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 13:09H. Foley?

  We were all, we always cursed. We were allowed to curse. Not fuck, but pretty much anything else.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. I curse a lot to my mom now. A lot.

• 13:20H. Foley?

  Oh, me too. I talk to my mom like she's a fraternity brother.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:25H. Foley?

  Fucking let her have it.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  I said dickhead the other day, that didn't feel great.

• 13:29H. Foley?

  To your mom?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Well, not to my mom, to my sister.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  You called your sister a dickhead?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  No. I think I was talking about you.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  For being, we're calling balls and strikes here.

• 13:40H. Foley?

  Should've saw that coming.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I mean, I wasn't gonna say, but you're really prying. Uh, yeah. There's nothing I won't say in front of my mom. And that's how I like it. That's how I want it.

• 13:53H. Foley?

  That makes sense.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Right? Let it fly.

• 13:56H. Foley?

  Call me a fucking dickhead. Bullshit.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  It did not stop there.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Um, all right, let's see, this one's from ambulance chaser. Did your mom let you bring a water gun to a public pool? That was a different kind of kid.

• 14:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Either the rich kid or a bad kid.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  Did you hit the wave of like super soakers and stuff like that? Like, was there a, was there a water gun phase?

• 14:19Speaker 01

  The super soaker probably hit when I was of eight, like, prime, right? That was in the early 90s, no?

• 14:26H. Foley?

  The original one was me, when I was in like fourth or fifth grade.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  I believe so.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Uh, it says the first super soaker went on sale in 1990.

• 14:34H. Foley?

  Yeah. Huh.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, that, that was prime.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  Cause the engineer built the first prototype in 1982.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  He also, I think, built something else.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  Or something?

• 14:44Speaker 01

  No, I think he, he leased it out and like made a bajillion, but I think he also built something. He was like a nerdy black dude.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, Lonnie Johnson.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  Lonnie Johnson.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Shut up, Lonnie.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  What a name. Shout out Lonnie.

• 14:52H. Foley?

  Guy named Lonnie in the 80s, let's go.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  Served in the US Air Force and he worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 15:00H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  And he's making the super suit.

• 15:02H. Foley?

  Soaker.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, we were a super soaker.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  I had the standard green one, like the, you know, the super soaker 100 or whatever, wasn't that it? I think they were like, they were by numbers. And then it got to like the 3,000. Then, I remember mid, this is early on in the divorce, this, one of the first things I really threw, you know, pinned them against each other.

• 15:28H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Was I wanted the big soup, the big backpack, John.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  And my dad got it. And I showed up to my mom's. And she was like, what the, she's like.

• 15:39H. Foley?

  At a pool though, they were kinda useless. You guys had those things that you sucked into the water and

• 15:43Speaker 01

  That was still, that was later than me.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  That was me.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was more him.

• 15:46H. Foley?

  Those things were serious.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  The stream machine.

• 15:49H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Those things were sick. You would fuck someone, if you got someone up close with those, you'd fuck them up.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  Fucking freaking out.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Cause you'd just push it and it was like all that pressure.

• 15:59H. Foley?

  We were big on, uh, water guns, last couple of days of school. That was big.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:05H. Foley?

  Getting a piece through the metal detector at school.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 16:07H. Foley?

  Hitting each other up.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Well, then they had the game Assassin, like, senior year of high school, where you like, have someone and you have to get them with a water gun.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  That's been bigger, that was more your, your guys stuff.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  Assassin?

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, you're like, hey, I have to get Luke at some point. And it's like a, a month long game, or yeah, it's like, however, it's

• 16:25Speaker 03

  And there's rules where you can get people and like, you have to get them like in the parking lot, coming out of like practice or whatever.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  At their house or something, like, you gotta get, you know, you can't like fucking run them on a church and, you know, spin the block. Um, but we would do, we would go to the swim club. Those days, I mean, I must've been seven, eight, whatever. Going to like the public pool and like, it was

• 16:51H. Foley?

  Mayhem.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  No, but those days seemed like a hun- each day.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  I think my mom would like drop us off or take us at like 8:00 AM. And then it's just like, you're just like, I'd be like, I feel like I was there for like a day and a half. Hot as shit.

• 17:07H. Foley?

  Sunburnt?

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:08H. Foley?

  Smells like malt vinegar?

• 17:10Speaker 01

  And then the older kids could leave and walk to Wawa and I wasn't allowed. Man, they would walk by, do Danny and say they'd all be leaving, their squad. They were probably, you know, 11, 12.

• 17:21H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Fucking leaving me in the dust, just saying.

• 17:25H. Foley?

  Give me some Skittles or something.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm at the fence, they're walking away from me, just fucking, so pissed, dude.

• 17:31H. Foley?

  That's awesome. Kim, let's talk about DraftKings.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  DraftKings.

• 17:35H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, the wait is over, football season is back and so is DraftKings. DraftKings is now live in all 50 states. One app, every sport, nationwide. Let's go, baby. Have some fun this season.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, new DraftKings customers, sign up with the code AYG. You spend five bucks to get 200 in rewards within 21 days. This includes all markets. That's code AYG. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. You got a gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESSET. Connecticut? Call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, bet tax pass through may apply in Illinois. 21 plus, voiding Canada. Bet with DraftKings Sportsbooks to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with DraftKings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Every contract

• 18:30Speaker 01

  trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 claim, click to claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at dkng.co offer, limited time offer, nationwide, based on sportsbook predictions and free to play sports. Contest availability varies by state, obviously.

• 18:52H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Factor, baby.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Factor.

• 18:55H. Foley?

  Let's go, Factor's back. Fall is here, you wanna eat right, you wanna eat delicious nutritious food, get over to Factor, get your routine locked in, ready to go. Factor with over 175 banned ingredients. They don't have it in there.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  They don't make the cut. Not everything makes the cut over there, Factor.

• 19:14H. Foley?

  Get it out. Every Factor meal is designed around what supports a healthier lifestyle and nothing that doesn't.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 19:21H. Foley?

  Love that.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Factor meals are ready within two minutes, it require no prep, no cleanup, so even on the days your schedule's completely bonkers, eating well is still achievable with Factor. That's my, that's my big thing. I use Factor. I got, in my brain, it's a little, it's a, it's a little safety net for me, I know. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna get off the subway and get pizza, cause I got a Factor at home. I could be eating in two, three minutes.

• 19:42H. Foley?

  Busy guy.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  I don't need to be running to the store grabbing something. I got Factor at home. It's easy, it takes that edge off, quiets the food noise for me. Uh, and here's the, here's the real feel, baby. Let's eat real. Head to factormeals.com/garbage50off and use the code garbage50off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year. While supplies last until 10/31/26. That's code garbage50off at factormeals.com, garbage50off at factormeals.com. See website for details.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Um, all right, let's see here, um, this one's from IP freely, outdated garbage rate. You's ever deposited an envelope full of coins in the ATM in order to withdraw a couple of bills? I didn't know you could, that can't be.

• 20:29H. Foley?

  I've never deposited anything at the ATM.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  I started doing checks.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Really?

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:35H. Foley?

  Is it available immediately?

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Uh, no. Maybe like, I think they give you like the 200 or what like the standard, whatever that is anymore. But once Mob, once the phones came out, that was...

• 20:51Speaker 01

  But I would, I've definitely done checks in ATMs.

• 20:54H. Foley?

  Deposit a check in the ATM?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  I never, I mean, I just started doing that later in, like comedy, you know what I mean?

• 21:02H. Foley?

  I wouldn't trust it. I want to tell her.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I never knew you could do that.

• 21:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, and I also never, I don't think I ever deposited a check. I always cashed it right away. Always. And if I didn't have an account, I'd go to the bank that the check was written on.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:15H. Foley?

  They'd be like, "You don't have an account here." But, "What is your checks written on this?" They'd charge you 10 bucks.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:20H. Foley?

  Fucking dickheads.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, not every play, I mean, uh... That was always big.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Says they give you about 200 to 500 instantly when you deposit the check.

• 21:30H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  If you have, a lot of times if you have that, which we never, we never had it. I'd have $32 and they're depositing a $400 check, and they go, "Maybe we'll give you 100."

• 21:41H. Foley?

  At midnight, it'll switch over.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  If it was written, so like I had TD, so if it was written, if it was a TD account, it was either like one day or maybe even like,

• 21:49H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  They could check immediately to see if the funds were available to draw it off of.

• 21:53H. Foley?

  Catch a Wachovia check, you're fucked. Waiting two weeks for San Dantaire to fucking clear.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Flying a kite. Yeah, that was, uh, that was, I learned that shit early and often. Especially come the first of the month in New York when rents due. I'd get my check, go to my guy's bank, it was a Chase Bank, the guy I worked for, cash it there, go over to TD, deposit it. Cash today. I need to draw, I need to draw off on this today.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  Patty was big on the, uh, drive-through with the thing that went up?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  That was my dad.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Yeah. Could never figure out how the fuck that worked.

• 22:33H. Foley?

  It was weird.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Air.

• 22:35H. Foley?

  Air. They'd send you back a couple lollies.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Lonnie Jenkins figured it out. Massive propulsion.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Uh... Yeah, that's, uh... That was, that's real dirtbag economics. You figure that stuff out now. I, but now it's like, it's all Venmo and Cat, like there's even ways to hack it that way that I just don't.

• 22:56H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  I've, I haven't really needed to.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  I'm a big instant transfer kinda guy.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Still, yeah, of course.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Give it to me.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  It's my money and I need it now, dog.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  Floating around out there, who the fuck knows what can happen?

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Uh, this one's great. This is from Knack Knack Patty Whack. You ever leave cigs out in the sun to dry after they got wet? Pro move. Gotta do it.

• 23:17H. Foley?

  Really?

• 23:18Speaker 01

  You've never done that?

• 23:18H. Foley?

  Never tasted the same. Couldn't do it. Can't smoke a wet cig.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  But you need to do it.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  Ugh.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  If I've, yes, if I, if my only thing was wet cigs?

• 23:26H. Foley?

  Man, can't.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, well.

• 23:28H. Foley?

  Tasted brutal.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  I didn't let, yeah.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  They get that stain on them?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  The brown stain.

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:35H. Foley?

  Vicious.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Uh, that, uh, somebody, I don't think we ever did it, microwaved them for like 10s, 5 seconds at a time to dry them off?

• 23:46H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Otherwise, it starts to cook, but I think, I think we learned that when somebody would do a blunt, like a blunt got wet or something.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, blunts in the microwave.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  And you can like dry it out or something. I don't even remember.

• 23:56H. Foley?

  Dry out the weed so you can bring it up.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, people do that with like the backwood wraps, like they'll like,

• 24:00Speaker 01

  That's what-

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Completely soak them in water and then microwave them and I, it's something.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:05H. Foley?

  After you roll it?

• 24:06Speaker 03

  No, before.

• 24:07H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, to like dry it out and then roll it.

• 24:10H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  I remember when blunt, I mean, I wasn't, but when blunt, blunt wraps hit. It used to be Philly,

• 24:16H. Foley?

  Philly blunt.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Then Dutch's, then White Owls, and then they just started selling blunt wraps and I was like, "We are in the future."

• 24:24H. Foley?

  The first time I saw brown, like weed wrappers, I was like, "Holy shit, that's fucking genius."

• 24:29Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. Wait, that's what we're talking about?

• 24:31H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:33H. Foley?

  But the, like, uh, what's the company?

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Like Zig Zag will just have the wraps, yeah.

• 24:37H. Foley?

  Yeah. Cutting out the fucking-

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  It's the same thing as a White Owl where it's just like the wrap paper, yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  And a clear tube.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, the tubes, dude. My, the, uh, there wasn't a fucking car I got into from 2002 to 2000, I don't know, 8, that didn't have the orange, the perp, dude, a white, a great white owl was like, "Yo, we're running to Exxon. Get me, get me great white owls."

• 25:04Speaker 03

  White great white owl?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  White great, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Oh my god, dude. And then like, that was always immediately followed by, like someone spitting out a seed or what, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Scooby snack.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Oh, dude.

• 25:21H. Foley?

  I hate it, blunts.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Just, dude, that's, we would just, we had no, nothing to do. I mean, I'm sure we did. Let me correct that. The kids who were contributing members of society were doing good stuff. We were just riding around like a fucking Bonneville, just fucking baking out. Just driving into the woods, just going, yo, going to blunt cruise.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  A blunt's like a bottle of champagne to stoners. It's like this special event.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  It is.

• 25:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  How to put the right music on. Like, "Oh yeah, bump this, yo, 50 got it, you know, new mixtape." A DJ Who Kid mixtape just dropped, or a Green Lantern mixtape. My, my, my boy, my boy J Mills got a fucking, a white, I didn't even smoke, I would just get high in the backseat of a car, going, "Drop me off, this sucks." Stunk, man.

• 26:07H. Foley?

  Stunk.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Stunk.

• 26:08H. Foley?

  Instant paranoia.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Secondhand hot box eye is no joke either, if you don't smoke weed.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  I didn't know I could go, "Hey man, just pick me up after." Like I thought-

• 26:18H. Foley?

  You were left out of the group.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I had-

• 26:21H. Foley?

  If you missed the fucking blunt circle, you might as well fucking be a transfer student.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Uh, that was brutal.

• 26:25H. Foley?

  Think you're a cop.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  That stunk, dude. Um... So much of my life, I don't know why we thought that was cool. We were always trying to be older.

• 26:38H. Foley?

  Sure. It was cool.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  Smoking blunts in a car?

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Is cool?

• 26:44H. Foley?

  I mean, when you're 16.

• 26:45Speaker 03

  At that age, it's, that's cool.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 26:48H. Foley?

  Pumping 50 cent, for us it was Cypress Hill.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Sticking it from the bar. Yeah, that's crazy.

• 26:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Um... I remember my buddy's dad had a thing of, uh...

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Easy, what are they, Easy Whiders?

• 27:06H. Foley?

  Easy Whiders.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  He had a disp, he had, he like opened up this drawer in his bedroom and he had like the dispenser.

• 27:16H. Foley?

  It was stuck to the side.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Stuck to the side, and he would pull out like a whole pack, and I went, "That was in the, that was a fucking surgeon or something like that, too."

• 27:23H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  What the hell? Remember he took us to a farm one time, he's like, "This is where I grow my vegetables." I'm like, "Dude, you're high right now." And you're a doctor, this is crazy.

• 27:32H. Foley?

  Growing chiba.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  That's wild.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  That's where I learned it was, uh, it was this, uh, like a big faux pas to wear shorts riding, riding a motorcycle.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, well, you burn yourself.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you fall. It's like, that's why you wear leather. It's like an extra set of skin or whatever.

• 27:48H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? It's like, and he was like, "You see that there?

• 27:54Speaker 01

  That's the cardinal sin. That guy's not a real biker," something like that.

• 27:57H. Foley?

  Where would, why, why is this the farm?

• 27:59Speaker 01

  This was the world's most interesting man, by the way. Where was the farm? I don't know.

• 28:03H. Foley?

  No, why was it at the farm that you would, would you ride motorcycles out there?

• 28:06Speaker 01

  No, I wouldn't. We were dry, he was driving us to his farm. Now that I'm looking, he was just, maybe just selling weed or growing weed. But we were driving out to his farm, and we were next to a motorcycle and the guy was wearing like cut-off fucking denim, like a cut-off jean short. He's like, "This guy's a pussy." Meanwhile, we were in like a fucking Ford Windstar or whatever.

• 28:26H. Foley?

  Go look at vegetables.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  I'm fucking rolling a blunt.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Craig with a K. What a name. Craig with a K is-

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Craig with a K?

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Dirtbag shit, dude.

• 28:45H. Foley?

  Oh, Craig with a K.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Craig, K-R-A-I-G.

• 28:48H. Foley?

  Craig's tough anyway.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Craig's alright. Craig's old school.

• 28:53H. Foley?

  I like a Greg.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 28:56H. Foley?

  Craig or Greg?

• 28:57Speaker 01

  I don't know, every Greg I knew was a fucking dirtbag.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll give you that. Greg. Be a manager's name.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Sure. Fucking Greg.

• 29:07H. Foley?

  Greg's fucking working today. Fuck. Such a dickhead.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Uh, is it garbage to name your firstborn child not in honor of your father's name but his preferred beer of choice? Lady I know named her daughter Millie Lou, M-L because her dad drank Miller Lite.

• 29:25H. Foley?

  Millie Lou?

• 29:27Speaker 01

  That's a trashy name, too. I mean, she's probably a sweet girl, but Millie Lou, I kinda like Millie.

• 29:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, Millie's a good name.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  But that's southern shit, right? Like anything with May or Lou.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Millie, M-I-L-L-Y. Is that how she's spelling it?

• 29:41Speaker 01

  No, I-E.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Okay, thank god.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Amilly, Millie. Amilly, Amilly, Amilly, Amilly.

• 29:46H. Foley?

  Miller would be a good first name for a boy.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be like real WASP-y. "Oh, this is, uh, Miller's, uh, Softfoot or something."

• 29:53H. Foley?

  Miller Foley?

• 29:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  Miller Thomas Foley?

• 29:56Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. You need the third. Miller Foley doesn't work.

• 30:00H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  You need like, yeah, Miller, you're-

• 30:01H. Foley?

  Like a nice name.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Thomas 30, yeah. Thomas Foley, yeah. Um, damn dude, that's-

• 30:10H. Foley?

  After a beer.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  After the beer, her dad drank is crazy.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  Wild.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  If you were just like a stone cold alcoholic, you're like, I love, I love MLs. I'm gonna name, I'm gonna give her, you know, the ML. But the fact that your dad drank it and you're like, this, he would have loved it.

• 30:25H. Foley?

  That's a middle name to me.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  What?

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Millie?

• 30:27H. Foley?

  The beer. Hey, my dad loves this beer. We'll do the middle name.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Hi, I'm Kevin Michelob Ryan. It's not kippy, it's Michelob. Uh. Yeah.

• 30:39H. Foley?

  My brother Lowenbrow. Brutal.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  You love a Lowenbrow reference.

• 30:43H. Foley?

  I love a Lowenbrow reference.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 30:45H. Foley?

  And the foil, it's classy. Didn't you say your dad drank, oh, Michelob?

• 30:49Speaker 01

  No, he's a Michelob guy.

• 30:50H. Foley?

  But that had the foil too. The old school Michelob.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  It wasn't like foil full, but yeah, yeah, it had the paper around the.

• 30:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Which.

• 30:56H. Foley?

  In that weird shape.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  I never saw anybody else that drank, maybe, but like, that was what beer was as a kid. It was like, beer, Michelob is beer. And then when they dropped that, it's not beer, it's Michelob. I remember me and Pat got a hold of that. That campaign, it's not beer, it's Michelob. Couple of mix.

• 31:19H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Told them Mick ultras, by the way.

• 31:20H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  Um, let's see here. Also, this class here trashy, the wedding I was at, my cousin shot at the Mikey, they had the Guinness cans that they would put, like the draft cans. So you could get like.

• 31:33H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  I guess because you probably can't, it'd be tough to like do drafts, like actual drafts of Guinness.

• 31:38H. Foley?

  The bartender would pop them up and pour them for you?

• 31:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:41H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Felt a little bit of, but felt not, it's, you know, I don't know.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  It's, it's the classiest way to do it without a proper.

• 31:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, if you don't have a tap, yeah. Makes sense.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  And you need the special Guinness tap, preferably, which is hard to come by.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  You gotta do like a proper Irish bar.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's a tough call. Never liked the cans though. Never came out the same.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  I don't know if I've ever, I still don't understand, is it like nitro in there or something? I don't get it. I don't know. I have no idea. Vinnie with the skinny started drinking them. We were like fucking nineteen. I'm like, that's crazy.

• 32:18H. Foley?

  Anybody drinking dark beer when you were a kid?

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Drinking a porter? The fuck? Wild.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  That shit was so foreign to me. Cause nobody I knew drank even decent beer. Like beer was Coors Light or Michelob. So then like when people started drinking like the chimay, like I'd like.

• 32:35H. Foley?

  Chimay?

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Flipping, flipping is fucking crunchy.

• 32:38H. Foley?

  Way too young people started doing that shit. Like in our twenties, people were doing it.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  That was like a.

• 32:42H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  That was when you were like trying to figure out, you thought that was your personality.

• 32:48H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I do the chimay blue. I just want to chill out, have some chimay. I'm like, you're just fucking smoking a blunt, listening to 50 Cent. Shut your fucking.

• 32:57H. Foley?

  Fucked up. That was Honey Brown, um, to us. There was a microbrew called Honey Brown.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:03H. Foley?

  It's like a dark beer.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Oh, that or a fucking Newcastle. People would do Newcastle.

• 33:08H. Foley?

  It's like drinking pennies. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck that. Newcastle sucks.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  I don't think I ever really did that, where I tried to make it my.

• 33:20H. Foley?

  Your thing?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  The kind of be like, like, oh, I'm the guy who drinks this. It's always been like. When IPAs got big, I'd be like, any IPA, like, uh, you know, oh, we got IPAs. I'd go, great. I don't fucking care.

• 33:31H. Foley?

  I tried to be a bass guy for a little while.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 33:34H. Foley?

  Then I had a bad allergic reaction to one.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  My whole face wore up. Done.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  That happened to me, dude. Uh. I think my brother came home and there was like some beers and I had a Miller Lite. And it was like, I was like, first time like drinking with like my fam, like, first time they were like, here's some beer, like, I was probably young, but trying again, trying to be cool. Had probably drank a couple of times. And it was like, yeah, I have a couple, like they came home early. And like, ah, yeah, party didn't pan out, but they had like a 12 pack or whatever, case of Miller Lite. I drank two and my neck broke out and like all blotchy paws, dude.

• 34:20H. Foley?

  I'm gonna die. Give me an heavy pen.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Dude, trying to fucking, trying to be cool, dude.

• 34:25H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  And just not, just not cool.

• 34:28H. Foley?

  Drinking out of a champagne glass?

• 34:30Speaker 01

  That and one, one time we were driving down the shore, again, probably.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  Fuck, man, we were young, probably thirteen or fourteen.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  And we asked my sister if we could smoke in the car.

• 34:44H. Foley?

  I remember, yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  And my, my boy got, he was, found out he was allergic to Camel Blues. He, dude, he turned green.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Heard a pull over and threw up on the fucking expressway.

• 34:58H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Just like, not cool. Just not cool, dude.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  I wonder why that is? Like, why did that Miller Lite have an allergic reaction?

• 35:06Speaker 01

  I think, I think I was just flying too close. My body wasn't that cool. You know what I mean? It was, I wasn't ready for the situation. It was probably nerves.

• 35:15H. Foley?

  Anxiety?

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably. That's what I'm saying. I was probably like, oh dude, I'm.

• 35:18H. Foley?

  I gotta get married now? I gotta get divorced? I gotta do this? I gotta get a job?

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Don't, don't butcher this, dude. You're hanging with the cool kids. Running with the big dogs now.

• 35:25H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, it was tough. Um. All right, let's see. This is one, this one's from Alex. Uh, I never have one read, Luke. Uh, it's, it's actually, I picked the questions, but you can yell at Luke. I appreciate it.

• 35:40H. Foley?

  I like when Luke gets pinned on for things. Probably Luke.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Uh, is it garbage to walk through the front lawn grass instead of walking on the concrete walkway to the front door of a house? This is very situational. Great for the show.

• 35:54H. Foley?

  Yeah. I always say this. Fuck the lawn, fuck your mulch. Not walking around through the fucking walkway. Can't walk on the grass?

• 36:05Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 36:06H. Foley?

  You gotta really have a nice lawn.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  I don't think it's not, I, I remove the ability to wa, remove like, I, I don't think anybody doesn't want you to walk on the grass, right?

• 36:17H. Foley?

  Luke?

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Like, I'm never anywhere and no one's like, duh, make sure you don't walk on the grass. No one's ever said that.

• 36:22H. Foley?

  Well, that would be the reason. Why would?

• 36:24Speaker 01

  No, I mean, I, to me, I interpreted this as. Is it like lazy and trashy to?

• 36:30H. Foley?

  Oh, cut through?

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, versus like, if you're going over to like a party. To like, let's say you're going to like a, I think if you're walking through the front yard and not on the walkway to a dinner party.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  With like nice slacks on and shoes?

• 36:41Speaker 01

  With your wife and you got a bottle of wine, that feels.

• 36:43H. Foley?

  Got trimmings all over your shoes?

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. You come in all fucking.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  When you were golfing?

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's a bit of a tougher, uh.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  That's a tougher one, I feel, yeah. Um.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  I love that, cut through the yard.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is trashy though. It is. Cause it's like your duck going.

• 37:06H. Foley?

  Walk on the walk. What are you doing?

• 37:07Speaker 01

  Not even, I don't think anybody would complain. You immediately get in trouble. That's what you go to, you're, had someone yelling at you?

• 37:14H. Foley?

  Somebody did yell at me when I was a little kid. He was seeding his lawn and I walked through his lawn. He's like, you ever walk on that lawn again, I'll beat your ass. Jesus Christ, buddy.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Overreaction.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  But you shouldn't walk on.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  It's also, you don't even live in that nice of a neighborhood.

• 37:26H. Foley?

  No, this isn't, this was early eighties.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  That guy's got.

• 37:30H. Foley?

  He was a dickhead.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Bigger issues.

• 37:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, hated that guy.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Um, I always, I mean, growing up, it was always like, if you could cut through someone's, there was houses in the neighborhoods that you could cut through or not cut through.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? It was like, like, certain people were cool with it. Certain people were.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Dicks.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  And now looking back, I.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  I kinda understand maybe why people, I wouldn't care, but I'm saying why people wouldn't love it.

• 38:01H. Foley?

  Don't want you cutting through their lawn.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  We would drive, there was this one guy that we always just, was a, he was a fucking dickhead. He had a koi pond that he lived next to, he connected the two, two neighborhoods.

• 38:12H. Foley?

  Did he have kids?

• 38:13Speaker 01

  I don't know. Not that I knew of.

• 38:15H. Foley?

  If they weren't in your crew, they didn't have kids, they were usually fucking.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Dicks.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, dicks.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  But we, dude, I mean, there would, there could be, now looking back, I get that. This might have not been like the coolest. It could have been a handful of times a day in summer day.

• 38:29H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Four or five days a week.

• 38:31H. Foley?

  Little dirtbags cutting through.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  And then I'd do like six or seven of us, eight of us at a time on bikes.

• 38:36H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  We'd fly down this hill, through his driveway.

• 38:41H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Right? This is kinda crazy.

• 38:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Through his driveway, down his backyard, was like down a hill.

• 38:48H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  And then like onto this little like path.

• 38:51H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  And we'd be like, fuck you dude, just like not caring.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  At some point, somebody could have killed a fish or something like that.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Well, not even that. Then at one point I was hard up for cash. I was gonna go back and steal those fish, cause another buddy's dad was like.

• 39:05H. Foley?

  Jesus, what?

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was in college or right out of college and I was really broke.

• 39:11H. Foley?

  Steal koi fish?

• 39:12Speaker 01

  This guy wanted, he was like, "I'd love to get a koi pond, but the, the fish are expensive." I go, "Buddy, I've been waiting..."

• 39:18H. Foley?

  How are you gonna move them?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  A glue cooler.

• 39:21H. Foley?

  No, how are you gonna fence them?

• 39:22Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 39:23H. Foley?

  You got a buyer for them?

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, my other buddy's dad, my buddy's dad...

• 39:27H. Foley?

  He said, "If you steal them, I'll take them?"

• 39:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, he wanted to buy them, but like a full grown koi fish is like, very, we've talked about this, it's very expensive.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  That's a fucking scumbag move.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:36H. Foley?

  The neighbor comes over and it looks just like Ernie.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Nah, they were, they lived far, far, they were different jurisdictions, you know what I mean? Had to get the state he's involved to try to fucking connect the dots. This is all pre-internet.

• 39:48H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Not really, but...

• 39:50H. Foley?

  That's wild.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  The internet was for sure out.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Large ones, fifteen to twenty-four inches are five to, five hundred to five thousand dollars.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:58H. Foley?

  Really?

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  And this guy, he was a single dad, he had some cash, and he like, redid the, like, his backyard and put like a pond in.

• 40:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  And we were like, we were sitting out there drinking, I was probably not even twenty-one, he's like, "You need some fucking, put some koi in there." He goes, "Those things are two grand." I go, "I'll get you, I'll get you koi fucking five hundred." "Get you a couple koi."

• 40:19H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Me and Vinny with the skinny were gonna fucking...

• 40:22H. Foley?

  Pull the job?

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, just do it.

• 40:24H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Cause it was like, can that, you could get away, we had it. That was when you were like...

• 40:30H. Foley?

  They were probably gonna be tougher to handle than you thought.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  For sure, but just net them, we had to, we had it. Vinny with the skinny had the net, we'd have the coolers.

• 40:39H. Foley?

  He's got a gun!

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Get you jacked up. I gotta kill Vinny afterwards, tie up loose ends, go, job goes bad.

• 40:46H. Foley?

  They always creep me out, koi fish.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  They're very tranquil.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  I like them.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  They're all like Japanese, right?

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:53H. Foley?

  Yeah. Oh, freaked me out a little bit, slippery.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're for sure, a little too catfishy for me.

• 41:01H. Foley?

  Something.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Anything that big, I don't trust.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  But if they're around, you're somewhere nice.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yes, that's what I'm saying, it's, yeah. There was a time when I was, we were drinking so much, there was like no real responsibility and like, the reality is obviously very, you know? Like a college summer or something?

• 41:20H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Just like fu, you know, just drinking, where I'm like, I would, you could have convinced me to really do some stupid fucking shenanigans.

• 41:29H. Foley?

  Sure, of course.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Not even like, yeah, really like, "Hey, we're gonna do this." I'd be like, "Oh, I, I can see how you get yourself in a bad position."

• 41:37H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Where you're like, "Ah..."

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Listening to too much fifty cent.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  A little, little too much fifty cent, you got, you got, you're hanging with a kid from the wrong side of the track trying to gas you up a little bit. You make, you make, you know, one or two bad, bad choices.

• 41:49H. Foley?

  Would the guy yell at you when you were going through?

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, we always fucking hated him, but now I'm going like, "Yeah, I guess you kinda didn't like fifteen guys on Huffy's rolling through..." I mean, it might, honestly, like a week, it might have been...

• 42:01H. Foley?

  Fucked up the grass, though.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Thirty, forty people like on bikes, like repetitively.

• 42:05H. Foley?

  If that was happening at your place, would you be cool with it?

• 42:07Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, like, I don't, I think you would eventually go like, "Guys, this is a bit excessive maybe." I don't know, I can, I can kinda see how you'd go...

• 42:18H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  It's a lot of people on your property, a lot. And maybe if he, I don't know if he had like a younger kid or something, I forget, but I can see, I can see the other side of this issue.

• 42:28H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm, yeah, makes sense.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  But...

• 42:31H. Foley?

  Back then, you didn't give a fuck, fuck you.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  You live and you learn.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Let's go. Kim, let's talk about Square.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Square!

• 42:38H. Foley?

  Gang, support for today's episode comes from Square, the system pounding like half the places I go. If you're tapped to pay and thought, "Wow, what is it? That was fast."

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Quick.

• 42:47H. Foley?

  It's Square, baby, let's go. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running the design studio, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Yes, and right now, listeners, you get a two hundred dollars off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/garbage. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash garbage. Visit Square to get started, because the right tools make all the difference. Listen, we are a Square business. You've ever been on the road, you've seen diesel, you bought a t-shirt and you go, you tap the car or you swipe the card, bing, pow, boom. You got squared, guy, that's what happens. And we got a lot of homies and bozos out there that are hustling, running side businesses. Square can take, take care of all that, all the, all the, all the business, all the, all, all the egghead stuff for you, you know what I mean? If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square's helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Right now, you can get two hundred dollars off Square hardware at square.com/go/garbage. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash garbage. Run your business smarter with Square, get started today.

• 43:53H. Foley?

  Yeah. Gang, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:58H. Foley?

  If you sat down and you thought about it, if tomorrow you could be better at one thing, what would it be?

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:03H. Foley?

  And how do you accomplish that?

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 44:05H. Foley?

  Could be watering the plants, it could be communicating, it could be cutting hair, I don't know, whatever you wanna do. But if it's your mental health, get over to BetterHelp, they can help you become a better person, day by day, year by year. Do yourself a favor, get over to BetterHelp.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, better is a feeling defined by you, and for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over one hundred countries. It's progress, and it's getting better at whatever you wanna do. If you wanna be present more, BetterHelp can help with that. It's, listen, boil it all down, it's about taking those little steps. Me and Foley have each used BetterHelp, it's about taking those steps to better yourself. And listen, it could be a dark time, it could be very bumpy waters, you could be in some turbulence, but, and it might not feel like it's working, but that little step helps in the long run. You gotta take this step, baby.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  And right now, you sign up, you get ten percent off at betterhelp.com/garbage, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 45:08H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see, this one's from Tooties Pilates Instructor, ten dollar Foley supporter.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  Yay, there's one on the board. It's you and me, big guy.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Uh, "Is it garbage if most of your tools have come from a breakdown lane on ninety-five? I just found a DeWalt battery last week, I don't have the drill yet, but I will someday."

• 45:29H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess that, what's that, shit fall off the trucks and stuff?

• 45:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, if you're fixing something on the side of the road?

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:36H. Foley?

  Scoop it up.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, yeah, it's very trashy, but why not?

• 45:42H. Foley?

  I don't ever remember my dad buying any new tools, really, until like the two thousands. They were always borrowed or old or something. Never any fresh stuff.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  We were just, we were different, cause my dad had a construction, my stepdad had a construction, so it was like, you know? Our houses, our garages were extensions of the company.

• 46:03H. Foley?

  Do you guys have like a drill when you were young?

• 46:05Speaker 01

  No, but also, we never had that shit at the house. It was like, "I'll bring it, I'll bring one home from work."

• 46:10H. Foley?

  At the shop.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  You know what I mean, it was like, it was all the, you know, we never like...

• 46:15H. Foley?

  We were a screwdriver family.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Oh, big.

• 46:18H. Foley?

  Brutal, brutal. The difference that made, having a little drill, zzz.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, we didn't know, we never.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  It's like bringing home an industrial kitchen, though, to like, solve like...

• 46:31Speaker 01

  That's what we would do.

• 46:32H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Dude, I remember my dad had this toolbox. I think it was like a ratchet set toolbox, the toolbox, it was one of those metal, looked like an old lunch pail from like the fifties, you know what I mean? Like the big, it was like this big, like a Craftsman.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Probably twenty-four inches long, eight inches deep.

• 46:49H. Foley?

  Ratchet set.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Big metal fuck, it had the big red tray in there, and I remember this thing had to be about seventy-five pounds.

• 46:55H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  I went, "What? Who the fuck is carrying this to work every day?"

• 46:58H. Foley?

  Ratchets escaped my mind so much, I could not wrap my head around what the fuck they were for or fucking, how they were used.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  Sure. That, I mean, I mean, we, yeah, get, get my ratchet set, get my rash seven sixteen ratchet set, um...

• 47:14H. Foley?

  We always had one, but never used it for anything, we were always missing ratchets.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  No, we learned ratchets, and then I skateboarded, so we would use the ratchet to get the, the ball, like, to get the, the wheels off and stuff like. That was my, like, fir, that was like our first car.

• 47:29H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Cause like, I couldn't really, I wasn't really handy, but like, I'm like, "Oh, I'll take, I'll, I'll do the trucks myself." And then to put the, the bearings in the wheels was real hard.

• 47:39H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  So you had to take, one of the ratchets matched up identically with, I forget the size, but identically with the ball bearing. Like, so you, it wouldn't, you couldn't just press the ball bearing in the wheel.

• 47:52H. Foley?

  Really?

• 47:52Speaker 01

  It was too snug.

• 47:53H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  So you have to use like a fucking shit ton of pressure, so you would put a ratchet that like fit on top of it?

• 48:00H. Foley?

  Right.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  And then hit it with a hammer to get it in there.

• 48:03H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, so we would do that, so we like really found, that was like my, I'm like, "Gee, guys can't hang out tonight, gotta swapping the trucks out."

• 48:11H. Foley?

  That's real mechanic shit.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  New, new, got a new set of lucky Swiss bearings.

• 48:15H. Foley?

  Ball bearings, pretty good.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Me and my boy Liam would just take out our bearings and like wash them in WD-40 to...

• 48:22H. Foley?

  Put them back in.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Put them back in, rotate the wheels. His dad, his dad had a little shop, like a shed, and he had a, a vice in there, so we'd put the board in the vice.

• 48:34H. Foley?

  Vices were nice.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Got one of those, you were alright.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  It'd be cold in there, we'd be in like our jackets, like close the door, have like a little window, it was like, it was like, uh, we were in there. He's like, "Okay, you know, hand me that," I'm like looking through inventory, looking for stuff. We were, we were running, "Yeah, bring the board over, we'll do the bearings, you know what I mean?"

• 48:52H. Foley?

  Take care of it, yeah.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  "Take care, sit down, have a cup of coffee, the boys will get you."

• 48:55H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  "What's the rush? Is this thing inspected?" You know what I mean? Um, uh, alright, let's see, this one's from, great name, Chicken Pharmaceuticals. That's a great fucking name, dude.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  Very good.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Great name. Um, ten dollar blue collar, love the special, thank you, sir.

• 49:12H. Foley?

  Thanks, buddy.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  "Are you garbage if you make chocolate milk for your cereal? I'm talking pouring the syrup over the cereal, then adding milk."

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Phew.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  That's...

• 49:26Speaker 01

  I don't know, I mean, that's more of like a dessert to me.

• 49:29H. Foley?

  I mean, there's a logical answer. If it's a chocolate or peanut butter cereal, sure. But if you're doing that to fruity pebbles, that's insane.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Sure, I mean, I think flavor aside, I think it's trashy.

• 49:40H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  I don't think you should be, also, that's like the, to me, that would be like the trashier way to make it. To me, if you made it like a chef where you're like, I'm gonna make the chocolate milk.

• 49:51H. Foley?

  And then pour it over the cereal.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Like, I'm gonna make the bake, I'm gonna make the broth. You know what I mean? Like how a chef goes, I'm making a sauce over here, then I'm doing it, and then I'm combining the things I made. If you did that, I'd go.

• 50:03H. Foley?

  I'd give it to you.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  I would do, today we're doing a whole milk with a Hershey syrup.

• 50:08H. Foley?

  But if it's a chocolate cereal, it always made chocolate milk anyway.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 50:13H. Foley?

  Which I thought was the best. Like a Cocoa Puffs milk at the end?

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:19H. Foley?

  Ooh, let's go. Let's go.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  Um, a couple times I got, I got into a fucking

• 50:28Speaker 01

  couple bowls of cereal this summer where I just like fucking, I just can't, I got, I got a handcuff myself. It's just bad.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Eat the whole box.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  Just crush it.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  And it's one of those things where I know I gotta start eating it quicker before the feeling hits me where I don't want anymore. You know what I mean? Cause I wanna eat as much as possible, but I know my body is.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 50:51Speaker 01

  What?

• 50:51Speaker 03

  What cereal?

• 50:52Speaker 01

  It was cinnamon toast crunch.

• 50:54H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  Down the shore. They had the kids have it.

• 50:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'll give you that.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  My niece walked up, she's gotta be about, I don't know, eight?

• 51:07Speaker 01

  And she was like, oh, and like she then grabbed the box and was like,

• 51:12Speaker 01

  this is mostly gone. I said, who the fuck?

• 51:14H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 51:15Speaker 01

  But they had got it, they bought it that night, like it was the next morning. So she knew she, for her, they brought down a fucking choc full box.

• 51:24H. Foley?

  Yeah, it spilled. What the fuck do you want?

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, what the, she goes, how much did you eat, Uncle? I said, what the fuck was your problem?

• 51:30H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  The baby was eating it.

• 51:33H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 51:34Speaker 01

  I know.

• 51:36H. Foley?

  Fat ass.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  I know, I know. He just, dude, I turned into an eight-year-old and she was bullying me. Like, I immediately regressed. I'll fight you right now. I will fight you.

• 51:45H. Foley?

  Start crying?

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's brutal. Tough, tough look.

• 51:49H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Marcus, $10 homie but still a bozo. That's a, that's a great tagline right there. Um, this is really just a statement. Mom owned a pawn shop named Cash Cow. I'd wear a cow costume and shake a we buy gold sign.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Man.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  That's a family business right there.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  I don't, I want, I want, I have so many followers. What age was that happening?

• 52:18H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Where is it? Cause pawn shops are rarely in decent neighborhoods.

• 52:25H. Foley?

  Not next to a Bloomingdale's, I can tell you that.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Not next to a Bloomies. You could, I, I have.

• 52:29H. Foley?

  He was too close to a highway to be a kid. Does that make sense?

• 52:33Speaker 01

  Sure, that was, that was a main thoroughfare. You know what I mean? There was a couple of DeWalt batteries on the side of that, you know, there was a couple of, uh.

• 52:40H. Foley?

  Probably a porn store somewhere in the vicinity.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 52:43H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's dangerous.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  I always gauge that anytime I go back to like my mom's, like you go back to Bucks or whatever, you can always gauge a town, and this is a very Pennsylvania thing, and I don't know why, but the tobacco stores. They're like the cig outlets or something. They had, they had, I don't know if it was like some sort of lull or bypass that they could, you know, but they were never in like a regular shopping center.

• 53:10H. Foley?

  They're always by themselves. It was like a Pizza Hut or something. It was always weird to go in there. Nobody bought cigs from there. You go to Wawa.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 53:17H. Foley?

  That was.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 53:18H. Foley?

  That's the weird guy that bought them there.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  And they were always by Jersey, cause I guess the taxes were higher in Jersey, so they would come over, like, they were always by the river.

• 53:27H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  I never understood, and like, this is coming from like someone who my dad smoked and my stepdad smoked my whole, and my stepmom my whole entire life.

• 53:36H. Foley?

  Couldn't catch them dead.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  No one ever went, I'm gonna pop in here and grab a pack of cigs. So it was always like this obscure, like are you buying a bunch, it felt like it was like people were coming from other places to get.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Cartons or something. Or buying loose tobacco.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:50H. Foley?

  Yeah, never.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  That and state minimum was always big. Wawa always had cigs at state minimum. Or a lot of places would go. Marlboro Lights, state minimum. Marlboro Reds, Winston, state minimum. Because a lot of times with the taxes, a state would apply taxes.

• 54:06H. Foley?

  Right.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  Certain taxes, like, this is how fucking, this is how much of heater family I come from.

• 54:13H. Foley?

  That's why in New York, they, they go get them in like Virginia and shit like that.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Sure, but, but certain states, so like, I think, let's say, this is maybe not, this is maybe 10, 15 years ago. Pennsylvania added like a $2 tax to a pack of cigarettes, or a dollar tax.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Some of those taxes you can pass off to the customer and some you can just eat.

• 54:34H. Foley?

  Right.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  And like, Wawa was at one point eating the, cause they were like, we don't fucking care. We'll get you in here for a cigs, we'll say you're sizzly.

• 54:43H. Foley?

  Get gassed, get this, get that, yeah.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  So that's what they were like, oh, that's why it was like.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  Go to Wawa.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  Go to Wawa, they're eating the tax for you. That's how good that company is.

• 54:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  That's trashy as shit.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  Dude, I went into a fucking Wawa the other day, told my, I was trying to eat healthy, told myself I wasn't gonna dance with the devil. I was not gonna get a sizzly. I was gonna get their egg bites. I've been big on their egg bites, well docked.

• 55:06H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  No egg bites cooking.

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Ooh, yeah, give me the mozzarella sticks.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Dude, a classic, did the gobbler. Uh, so I grab a, I dance in your world for, they don't even have that many sandwiches, but I'm already, I walked in eat, I'm gonna eat. So now I can't, I didn't have the willpower at the moment to walk out. That's just me, who I am.

• 55:27H. Foley?

  So what'd you get?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  They had the double bacon croissant. The croissant stinks.

• 55:33H. Foley?

  What?

• 55:34Speaker 01

  It stinks. It's all croissant.

• 55:37H. Foley?

  Craziest thing I've ever heard.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  You're just tasting like fucking bad butter and croissant. It's just.

• 55:42H. Foley?

  Their bagels stink.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  I'm not saying they're good, but you taste the sandwich as a whole. I want the egg, cheese, and meat is the main thing I'm going for there.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Otherwise, I'm just tasting the buttery croissant. I just get, if I, I'd go to a, I'd go to a Predame J or something if I was, if I was gonna be a little.

• 56:01H. Foley?

  The buttery croissant.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  But I'm checking out and she goes, it's a, I'm ringing you up for a hash brown. It's free hash brown day. If you buy a sandwich and any coffee, it's free hash brown day. So you can take it or you cannot take it. It's completely up to you. I said, lady, what the fuck?

• 56:23H. Foley?

  Fuck. Why'd you fucking tell me that?

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  Give me 12 hash browns.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  I know. I'll take three more sandwiches.

• 56:30H. Foley?

  Pre hash brown day? What the fuck?

• 56:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:32H. Foley?

  And state minimum? Not going to the fucking tobacco store like a loser.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  I know. Things coming up kippy. But that was like a, I'm like, god damn dude, this is, that's the devil. That's the devil out there. That's what I'm telling you. I don't care. Being a fat kid your whole life, waking up, trying to, trying to make the right choice. I was gonna have those egg bites. I was gonna come home. I was gonna go for a run.

• 56:55H. Foley?

  Never had a shot.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  That did not happen.

• 56:57H. Foley?

  No.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  Did not happen.

• 56:59H. Foley?

  Nice four-hour nap, all that croissant, didn't it?

• 57:02Speaker 01

  Brutal. Um, alright, let's see here. We got time for one or two more.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  Hit me.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  Um, this one is from, this one's just funny, good name. $10 bozo, what inning is appropriate to upgrade your seats at a ballgame? I say you gotta wait until at least the fourth, but according to my dad, quote unquote, if they ain't here for the anthem, they don't deserve those seats.

• 57:26H. Foley?

  Now, when we say upgrade, we're talking about stealing seats closer.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Moving forward.

• 57:30H. Foley?

  Anthem, that's crazy.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 57:31H. Foley?

  You'll get embarrassed. You gotta wait till like the fifth or sixth inning.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  But here's the thing, I think if you're willing to do that, you can be, but you don't give a fuck.

• 57:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, just move.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Just go, ah, I didn't know. Ah, this ain't section 119.

• 57:44H. Foley?

  I could never do that.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  It's tough for me.

• 57:46H. Foley?

  My anxiety would never let me do it.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  We did it all the time with my dad.

• 57:51H. Foley?

  Really?

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:52H. Foley?

  Huh. Would you wait to, till the people that were in those seats leave?

• 57:56Speaker 03

  No, that happened a couple times, but it was mostly just like second or third inning and we would just go get hot dogs. And then it was like, alright, my dad would be like, I think those ones are good.

• 58:06H. Foley?

  Second or third inning? Traffic and shit like that?

• 58:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, but third inning, third inning, I'll give you, he said fourth. I, I would say fourth is

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Safe.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Is the, is the admirable thing.

• 58:19H. Foley?

  Not the anthem.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  The anthem's crazy.

• 58:21H. Foley?

  That's wild.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:22H. Foley?

  Batting practice?

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  These are ours right here.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Um.

• 58:26H. Foley?

  They kinda put the kibosh on that now. You can't really do that.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  Well, there's a lot of those chaperones, or those ushers or whatever.

• 58:33H. Foley?

  And they know.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  But I went to the fucking, uh, I went to a World Cup game and like a lot of times you just go, they go, let me see your ticket. I'm sitting in, uh, 114. They go, okay, right down there to the left.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Like, no one checked my ticket at all, really. A lot of times, there is a kinda thing of just act like you belong there.

• 58:49H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  You know, and like, if you, if you're fucking.

• 58:52H. Foley?

  You stumble or something?

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Your eyes are darting, you're sweating, they're gonna go, this is unmeanful. You're a fucking section 218 guy.

• 58:57H. Foley?

  Hold it there, fat boy.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't belong down here in the ones. Uh, but we all also, when we would do events, my dad would get like free tickets or like a supply, like.

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Get good seats.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  We never, we also never went like, hey, you know what? Let's go to, uh, a ballgame this week.

• 59:16H. Foley?

  Never scalped?

• 59:18Speaker 01

  We did, oh, for sure, but.

• 59:19H. Foley?

  My dad would do that.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  We would also do like, uh, uh, my dad would go, I got tickets to the Flyers game tomorrow night. And that's what we would, it would be like, somebody from like some big plumbing company would be like, hey, here's so many tickets, cause you bought, you bought 50 toilets this month or something like that.

• 59:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  So that, we would get good corporate-esque seats.

• 59:43H. Foley?

  Spur of the moment.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Spur of the moment, yeah. Which was like, now that I have a kid, I wanna live more of that life. Cause at some time, those tickets were like kinda coming in pretty flush, I think when business was good.

• 59:56H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  And it would be like a Wednesday, like, we're going to the game. I'd be like, we're gonna get in the car, we're driving to South Philly, we're gonna, yeah.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  Get home at like 11 o'clock.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  When things got kinda tough, that fun, I'd be like, you wanna go to, you'd be like, well, go three months on a Saturday and you'd never go, or we'll see, a lot of, we'll see, you know what I mean?

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  How expensive that is? You gotta park and all that stuff?

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  The vibes changed a lot on the spur of the moment fun.

• 1:00:20H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:00:21H. Foley?

  The Snap-on tickets dried up.

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  Guy's a fucking dickhead anyway.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, that stuff, uh.

• 1:00:27H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  And then like, that was only through my dad. My mom never, would never take us to... That was just like a very dad.

• 1:00:34H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Uh, thing. And my stepdad didn't like sports, so he for sure wasn't... You know, I'd have to be explaining football to him or whatever, you know, it didn't... Unless it was racing. Um...

• 1:00:44H. Foley?

  That's funny.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  But yeah, I would, I wanna do the more like, let's go do... But then I see it now, you get tired and you're like, I just wanna fuckin'.

• 1:00:53H. Foley?

  Why did I commit to this?

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Well, not even like committing to something now. It's just like, I'll get home, and like, I'll be like, after traveling or whatever, I'll like sit on the couch and the, you know... My son will be playing, I'll be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah!", I'm like kicking the ball, you know, doing something with my foot. It's like petting a dog with your foot. Just bend down and pet the dog. You know what I mean?

• 1:01:10H. Foley?

  Got the ball on a fucking fishing rod?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Howard Huntley Lloyd the Fourth.

• 1:01:20H. Foley?

  Gentlemen.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  I think I read those Roman numerals right. One V is four.

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  Four.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  "You's ever organized the dirty dishes instead of just washing them?" I did it yesterday.

• 1:01:33H. Foley?

  Always.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  That is...

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  Rinse them off?

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  I don't even really rinse them.

• 1:01:37H. Foley?

  Stack them up?

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  Stack them in... That's... If you start that early... My wife does it. My wife dumps, and I go, "You're gonna make us..."

• 1:01:47H. Foley?

  Dumps.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Like...

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  She throws them all in there?

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Just that...

• 1:01:50H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Put the pan in like fourth? You go, "You can't put a pan in fourth!"

• 1:01:54H. Foley?

  You scrape, you... Line them up.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  I'm also a big on like, get the pan, do the pan right away. Like, it doesn't have to be great.

• 1:02:02H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Just get the pan over there, so it's like, it'll, it'll last the night, you can whatever, tomorrow, but like... Get it off right away, and then it's just like, what? You put that in the sink, you gotta do them dishes.

• 1:02:13H. Foley?

  It's fu...

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  You gotta... There's nothing worse than like, a pot filled with water, you're like, "I... There's gonna be mosquitoes in here in the morning if I let this sit."

• 1:02:22H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Gotta take care of it right away.

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  I'm a big fan of doing the pan and throwing it right back on top of the oven.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  That's how it goes.

• 1:02:27H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  Our pans live on our, on the oven, for sure.

• 1:02:30H. Foley?

  Dishes, they can wait.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  I don't fucking care.

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  You ever do a cookie sheet, all burnt, chicken cutlets or something? You're scraping that shit?

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that sucks, obviously.

• 1:02:40H. Foley?

  I was also a big soaker. I gotta let that soak. That soak about...

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Kick the, kick the can down.

• 1:02:45H. Foley?

  About two weeks.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:46H. Foley?

  Be ready to go.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  I, dude, it was the other night, it was bad. We were just fucking cooked. Me and you were traveling... Uh, baby started day, a version of daycare. We're just fucking fried. He's not sleeping, he was sick, whatever, not sleeping. And did the kitchen look like someone threw a fucking flashbang in there? It looked fucking, it looked like they pulled Gaddafi out. It was looking, it was bad. It was fucking bad.

• 1:03:15H. Foley?

  Like a busy shift at Denny's.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Oh, dude. Cause then like, he's got so much shit, and like, he's got a tray for the high chairs, sometimes that just gets shoved in there. That's like sticking out of the sink like a boogie board, you know what I mean? There's fucking shit all over that. He ain't no clean eater either. There's shit all over that, and like, they didn't look to me, and she's like... "You can do it if you want, I'll do it in the morning." Like, that's it.

• 1:03:38H. Foley?

  I respect that.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  She's like, "This is, that's going over", and I go...

• 1:03:41H. Foley?

  What'd you do, let it fly?

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  I turned the lights out, I'm like, "Say fucking toots." That room is a no, you know...

• 1:03:47H. Foley?

  Fill it up with soapy water, we'll call it a day.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, fucking seal the door, dude, that's it. Uh, but we gotta wrap it up, gang.

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death. Thank you for, everybody for watching American Garbage. If you haven't seen it, go over to the YouTube page. Check it the fuck out, tell a friend. We appreciate it. We love ya. And we'll see you in three days.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  Peace!

• 1:04:04H. Foley?

  Peace!