Mom's Car: Monica Padman

On this week’s episode of Mom’s Car we welcome none other than the Duchess of Duluth, Monica Padman. Dax, Monica, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through the most tempted they’ve been to sample their own wares, a definitely real, meet-cute write-in question that could have been a full-circle big twist, why Monica’s kink is sick men and tasty food, a historic review of pubic hair styles, and whether there’s something unattractive or scary about a partner being totally immersed in a new pursuit. #sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance. Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Hello and welcome to Mom's Car. Today we have the Duchess of Duluth, Monica Lilly Padman. She joins Aaron and I today to really educate us on all the fun-to-eat places in Los Feliz that we're not stopping at. Uh, please enjoy, Monica "Miniature Mouse" Duchess of Duluth Padman. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check your phones in your pocket before leaving the house. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North America Insurance Co. and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:00Dax Shepard?

  You know what's funny is I always donate my clothes to Salvation Army. But then I buy them.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07Dax Shepard?

  Then I buy someone else's. And I love the thought that someone's gonna like my t-shirt that I don't like anymore.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  They will. Sustainability.

• 1:15Dax Shepard?

  Right. Then I get someone else's.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Do you get a credit there?

• 1:19Dax Shepard?

  Picture of a beach or something. I'm like, oh, I like this. No.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  One person's trash is another person's treasure. They say that.

• 1:26Dax Shepard?

  That's one of the famous things. I have a weird experience where it's like, I'll give away a bunch of stuff and it's nice stuff. Yeah.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34Dax Shepard?

  I've given Jordans to the Goodwill. Sure. And then I have this weird desire that I hope they know that it was expensive. Or a $350 sweater. It's important to me that they know they got something that's normally $350 for $2.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  It's not very Buddhist.

• 1:52Dax Shepard?

  It's not very Buddhist. And why does it matter? But can you relate to that? I do, yeah. You go like, oh, I'm giving this $1,800 purse to Goodwill. I sure hope they know what they got. Yeah, right.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Or it's kind of fun for someone who has no idea and really just likes the way it looks. And lucky. Them, they got a $28,000 purse.

• 2:12Dax Shepard?

  And maybe that's the best case. They don't even know what they have. And then they're walking around with a Birka bag.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:16Dax Shepard?

  And people are like, oh, my God, I love your bag.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:19Dax Shepard?

  Where did you get it? Those are hard to get.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  That would be cool.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Where's our first stop?

• 2:24Dax Shepard?

  Well, we just kind of drive around, Monty, and then it'll sell us.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Look, it's lunchtime.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a good time for this.

• 2:31Dax Shepard?

  Prime time.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Prime time.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, we're just gonna ride until we get a dingles?

• 2:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and sometimes we just kind of post up at Sunset Junction and wait. I've told you a lot about this. This has broken a lot of my assumptions.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:44Dax Shepard?

  My first assumption was like, oh, food delivery is pretty pricey.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  This is a cute restaurant I like to go to sometimes.

• 2:50Dax Shepard?

  La Poudie?

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:51Dax Shepard?

  What's it called?

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Le Pire. It's French, and on the inside, you feel like it's Christmas time in Europe.

• 2:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, and the food's delicious?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good.

• 3:00Dax Shepard?

  Do they have a French onion soup?

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't think so.

• 3:04Dax Shepard?

  Do they have French fries?

• 3:04Speaker 01

  I don't think they have any of those things.

• 3:06Dax Shepard?

  Their French dressing?

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, no.

• 3:08Dax Shepard?

  What if everyone in there was French kissing? Who of you are invited to French kiss your waiter?

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Oh, this is kind of fun because I kind of feel like while we're waiting, I can just tell you all the places I like.

• 3:19Dax Shepard?

  I already anticipated this.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:21Dax Shepard?

  Sincerely. But what's counterintuitive is like, OK, yeah, people without a lot of money are using delivery service. I thought I was gonna be delivering to a bunch of rich people. Not the case. Secondly, I would think, oh, I'll go hang out where all the restaurants I eat at. Most of the times we get a dingle, it's a weird duck restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Wow. What's the most tempted you've been to eat one of the items?

• 3:45Dax Shepard?

  We picked up Lucifer's once.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, that smells real good. I can tell you the most untempted I was. Actually, they were both with Joy.

• 3:53Dax Shepard?

  Well, Jackie, too.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Was it Jackie?

• 3:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  There was one that smelled like a pile of garbage. Oh, yeah, that was with Jackie.

• 3:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  It was assholes inside of a bag, like leaking assholes.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  And then...

• 4:07Dax Shepard?

  Someone got the asshole sampler.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Then someone else fucking ordered a bunch of whole ducks. I was like, oh, I couldn't stop thinking about that duck in that bag.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Was it cooked or raw?

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 4:21Dax Shepard?

  But we're confused because they don't sell duck wings. Like, they sell chicken wings.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:27Dax Shepard?

  But they take the wings off, but they give you the feet.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  There's no trace of the wing anywhere.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 4:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, they get it out of it. It might be like bad luck or something.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it probably is bad luck.

• 4:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so we're gonna do a moral dumbfounding question, which we like to do.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  I'm excited.

• 4:42Dax Shepard?

  And then a listener question.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:44Dax Shepard?

  Let's do a listener question.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Guess what else? You would think that we'd be busy because it's lunchtime. Oh, we're not.

• 4:50Dax Shepard?

  It's the slowest time of day lunch.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  It's the only second slowest at dinner.

• 4:57Dax Shepard?

  They're trying to figure out what is the sweet spot.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  That's interesting because I do think here in L.A., people don't have regular jobs. So their eating is off. They might eat lunch at 4:00.

• 5:09Dax Shepard?

  They had breakfast at 11:30.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:12Dax Shepard?

  Dinner at 9:00.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  There's no real lunch hours here.

• 5:14Dax Shepard?

  What's the hardest time to make a reservation, though, at one of your restaurants?

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Ooh, that's a good question.

• 5:20Dax Shepard?

  7?

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably 7:00. I like to get a 5:00 P.M. I like to be in and out by 7:00.

• 5:26Dax Shepard?

  Really?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like an early bird.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  We do that, too.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  It's better that way.

• 5:30Dax Shepard?

  What are the advantages? It just takes less time to get your food?

• 5:33Speaker 01

  No, you can just go to bed early.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, right, right, right.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  You can get in your bed, watch The Pit or E.R.

• 5:39Dax Shepard?

  Or both.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Oh, I love this store.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Pit?

• 5:42Dax Shepard?

  The Pit on Max?

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Medical drama.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, no, with.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  No, Wiley, he's so hot.

• 5:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, he's very horny.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  He's so hot.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  He went from cute to hot.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Oh, what if we run into him on our drive?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  I hope so. I hope we're delivering a big duck to him.

• 5:58Dax Shepard?

  Big armless duck.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  I would only eat duck with him.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  He probably knows about the wings, because he knows about anatomy.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  He probably grows wings in a garden. Okay, we're gonna hang for a minute?

• 6:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, hang for a minute.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  All right, Monica, you're gonna love this one. This is from a listener. "To move or not to move? Hey, vulner boys. I'm a 39-year-old vulner boy, living in the South, and I'm very inspired by both of y'alls willingness to show your emotions. I'm writing because I've been considering making a move to a bigger city where women would be more attracted to my sensibility.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  It's a hard decision to make, because I've planted roots in my hometown, but I can't seem to find love here. I don't think it's anything physical. I'm 6'1", athletic. Not that I believe them, but many people have compared me to Ben Affleck."

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Is this a, what? Is this a meet cute?

• 6:57Speaker 02

  What? Hold on.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  "My last girlfriend would get uncomfortable when I would cry during movies."

• 7:05Speaker 01

  This is a joke.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  "Or when we would have a disagreement. I tried to rein it in, but I just can't. I'm wondering if you guys think it's time to try another city. I'm very drawn to LA because of the food and outdoor lifestyle. I'm a shameless sun worshiper, but New York is great, too. It's my favorite city to visit. I'd probably live there, but I tend to get nauseous from all the commotion and tend to vomit a lot while I'm there."

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Oh, oh.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  And I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking to care for someone who is always throwing up and crying. Please help.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  You wrote this, Dex. You wrote this. You did this.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm embarrassed, because I believed it until the very end.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Good, that was my goal. I said a couple things where I'm like, "That's too much." The Ben Affleck thing, I'm like, "I might tip it on Ben Affleck." But the fact that he said, "Not that I believe them."

• 8:17Dax Shepard?

  Is your basement flooded for this guy?

• 8:19Speaker 01

  I'm actually so sad that this person isn't real. Oh my god.

• 8:24Dax Shepard?

  I was like, I want to write a fake question for Monica. And I couldn't think, there's a lot of different ways to go.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Moved cities into my pants.

• 8:32Dax Shepard?

  He gets nauseous. All the commotion.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  I vomit a lot.

• 8:39Dax Shepard?

  I doubt anyone wants to care for me. I was like.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  New York is not a city for him.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm so sad.

• 8:48Dax Shepard?

  But you know what's funny? As I was writing it, I also had this thought. This could offend you, but I was like, even if this was real.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Go ahead, yeah.

• 8:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Even if this was 100% real.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:00Dax Shepard?

  I was like, I don't know that Monica would jump at this.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  But I was.

• 9:03Dax Shepard?

  You were jumping.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  I was. I was like, oh my god, this could be such a fun.

• 9:08Dax Shepard?

  Crazy twist.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Full circle, big twist. I need my husband to your show.

• 9:14Dax Shepard?

  Delivering food.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Special. Really, you're just tricking me. I might need a frame then.

• 9:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  I can't imagine there's anyone out there looking. Looking to care for someone who's always throwing up and crying.

• 9:36Dax Shepard?

  But try to imagine your heart is that it's dead real. Are you actually gonna like, send him an email?

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think we would here devise a plan.

• 9:47Dax Shepard?

  And we'd be up for it.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Six one.

• 9:51Dax Shepard?

  Ben Affleck.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Six one athletic Ben Affleck?

• 9:54Dax Shepard?

  I was toying with the idea of saying when I said that I've put down roots here. I was gonna say, I have a pretty successful pottery shop. He would fill in the blanks and think he makes really cool coffee cup mugs.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Oh, like trinkets that I love.

• 10:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like mugs and.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Okay, so this was a good test. This is like you creating my perfect man.

• 10:17Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm. Everything you think you want, and here it is, will you pursue it?

• 10:21Speaker 01

  I mean, I didn't love the part that he couldn't rein it in. When he was crying a lot. I do want him to be able to rein it in a little bit. That was a little bit of a red flag.

• 10:33Dax Shepard?

  You could build on that.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  I can't believe I didn't get it when you read, "I'm a shameless sun worshiper."

• 10:38Dax Shepard?

  I got so nervous because I was looking for you outside and I said, "Were you sun worshiping?" I was like, "Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that. I just wrote that. That's gonna tip it."

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Did you write it just now?

• 10:49Dax Shepard?

  On the toilet before we left.

• 10:53Dax Shepard?

  I thought of it last night and then we got home so late, I didn't do it. Then, as you know, I took a nap before work.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  I feel sad with myself because you're right. He sounded great, but when he threw up in New York, I was out.

• 11:05Dax Shepard?

  Because you love New York so much.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  He can't, I mean, that's embarrassing.

• 11:09Dax Shepard?

  But he loves it still.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  But he's throwing up everywhere.

• 11:12Dax Shepard?

  He just needs you to care for him a little bit.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  I think you're confused about my desire.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  To care?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  To care. To care about anybody. That's not what it is.

• 11:21Dax Shepard?

  That's your own proclaimed.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  No, no, no. They have to be sick.

• 11:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's very sick from all the commotion.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  He's a baby.

• 11:29Dax Shepard?

  He's psychosomatic. He's weak.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a weakness.

• 11:32Dax Shepard?

  That's the problem with vulnerable. Where is the line?

• 11:35Speaker 01

  I know.

• 11:35Dax Shepard?

  Like, you're free to cry and vomit if you have a...

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Sickness.

• 11:40Dax Shepard?

  Flu.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that.

• 11:42Dax Shepard?

  But if the commotion sometimes makes you...

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't mention anything.

• 11:46Dax Shepard?

  No, get through it. Shove your feelings right down.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  No, he can talk to me about it. We can discuss it. But just don't throw up on the street.

• 11:56Dax Shepard?

  It's not in the street. It's just, he's like, "Oh, I think I need to stop back at the hotel."

• 12:01Speaker 01

  I can't stop. I'm on a mission there.

• 12:05Dax Shepard?

  If I would have said, "I love shopping," would that have been too much? I love shopping for luxury goods. People are always mad at me because I spend so much on luxury goods, but I can afford it and I don't have kids.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  But I want them.

• 12:20Dax Shepard?

  But I am toying with Buddhism, so I might say goodbye to all this. But probably not.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  I mean, in real life, who do you think is my perfect partner? If you really had to create him? Who you really think would be a good partner for me? Not who I would want.

• 12:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Like a famous person?

• 12:40Speaker 01

  It could be that, or just creating the characteristics.

• 12:43Dax Shepard?

  That's really hard. I always just go to whoever I love. Guy would go, "Oh, you and Nate would have so much fun married. You and Aaron would have so much fun married."

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 12:53Dax Shepard?

  I just end up thinking whoever I'm in love with. Would be a great match for you.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Yep, that'll work.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  That'll do.

• 13:01Dax Shepard?

  But it is weird. If I had to pick, oh, except.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  Yes, $3.

• 13:05Dax Shepard?

  $3.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  $3?

• 13:07Dax Shepard?

  Don't worry about it.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:09Speaker 02

  I'm only gonna go downhill from here.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 13:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we're going to Barbecue and Rice. You ever been here?

• 13:13Speaker 01

  No, I haven't. Not yet.

• 13:15Dax Shepard?

  Maybe this'll tempt your palate. This could lead to a list of to-dos for you, honey.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:21Dax Shepard?

  My problem is I get stuck in ruts. Like, I know what I like, and it's hard to go somewhere new when I know I could be going and getting something I love.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  We're different that way.

• 13:32Dax Shepard?

  This is your hobby.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  It is. It's something I enjoy. Finding new places and new things. You do? You're a creature of habit?

• 13:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Well, it's kind of counterintuitive, because in life, I'm safer. I'm a creature of habit. I like safety and things I know.

• 13:51Dax Shepard?

  You watch the same thing, because you know how it ends. You like knowing how things are gonna go down.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Right, but in exploration of cities or food. Yeah, that's where I get kinky.

• 14:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's your kink.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  I'm kinky at eating tasty food. I'm so kinky.

• 14:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I gotta find a guy that loves kinky.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  I am kinky, because I was down for all the vomit for a second. Only for a second.

• 14:15Dax Shepard?

  Vomit, crying.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Only if he's sick.

• 14:17Dax Shepard?

  Some crying. Controlled crying.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Crying if it's...

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Except for once, he couldn't reel it in.

• 14:23Dax Shepard?

  That's too many times.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Once is enough.

• 14:28Dax Shepard?

  I do think it's really tricky. I think we're telling boys have the full range of emotions that women have, but I don't know women have caught up to that.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  But can I tell you something? If my girlfriend was also so overwhelmed by New York that she threw up everywhere, I can't go to New York with her.

• 14:44Dax Shepard?

  True.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  That's just a person thing, right up there.

• 14:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, on the corner. Oh, world famous barbecue rice bowl. Yes!

• 14:51Speaker 01

  So what happens now?

• 14:53Speaker 02

  You guys hold tight.

• 14:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Aaron runs in.

• 14:57Dax Shepard?

  Grabs the rice. I don't think it'll be far, because it was only three bucks.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh, this man is eating it?

• 15:03Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  And he's wearing a Muay Thai shirt. Oh, I shouldn't be pointing.

• 15:07Dax Shepard?

  He and Matt might know each other from Muay Thai.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  I wanted to ask him if he likes his food.

• 15:13Dax Shepard?

  I was gonna admit to you that when you're talking about your watch thing.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, the Cartier watch I wanted.

• 15:18Dax Shepard?

  Right, that was too much money.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:20Dax Shepard?

  I was not judgmental, but also I didn't want you to buy a watch that expensive.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Really?

• 15:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because I want you to save your money and invest it. You know, to be safe.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  That's funny. That might be because you, well, a few things. One, you feel paternal. But two, and I want to relieve you of this, I think since our job is together, the money, if it runs out, it's on you to make sure I still have some or something? Is that a part of it, maybe?

• 15:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's not, just so you know.

• 15:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's none of my business. All to say, I had had the same exact moment the day before. I just recently was like, I gotta sell, and I'm going to, I gotta sell some of these fucking vehicles.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  You are?

• 16:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I gotta get rid of some of these motorcycles. I don't know what car I'm gonna get rid of, but I have too much crap. I gotta get rid of it.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Buddhism.

• 16:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And then I met my dad, Tom Hanson, for dinner at Katsuya.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 16:20Dax Shepard?

  And he was in a brand new... AMG GT. This so sexy two-seater sports car. Isn't that silver, that Mercedes silver? That's from the Goldwing that you love? It's so sexy.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 16:32Dax Shepard?

  And at first I was like, mm, who cares? I'm not that interested. And then he was getting it in and I said, "Do you like it?" And he goes, "Yeah, yeah, it's good." I go, "Is it fast?" He goes, "Yeah, yeah, it's fast." I said, "It's not as fast as the wagon, right? That AMG wagon that we both had." And he goes, "Oh, it's way faster." I'm like, "No, the wagon's supposed to be the fastest." And he goes, "No, this thing has a nine-speed and 600 and some horsepower."

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 16:56Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, "Oh, fuck."

• 16:57Speaker 01

  See?

• 16:58Dax Shepard?

  Hearing those numbers.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you wanted it.

• 17:02Dax Shepard?

  Like your watch. All of a sudden I was like, "I gotta have this car." If I can have this car, why wouldn't I have this car?

• 17:09Speaker 01

  I know.

• 17:10Dax Shepard?

  It took over all my thinking. And I was like, "You cannot buy another car. I don't care if you have a billion dollars. You're not allowed to." Because all you do is worry about it and don't use it.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:21Dax Shepard?

  The watch, you're gonna wear it sometime.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  I know. Well, actually, the watch was an interesting thing because when I was talking to Anna and Jess about it, Anna said I could buy it.

• 17:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  So I was like, "I'm gonna buy it because Anna said I could."

• 17:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and she's reasonable.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Yes, but then she said, "But what you can't do is go on your walks wearing it."

• 17:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Fuck, that's true."

• 17:46Dax Shepard?

  Monica, I do better at this normally. I don't know why. I'm so engaged in your stories.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  I tell good stories.

• 17:52Dax Shepard?

  You do. You're one of the great storytellers. That's actually true. On paper, your stories are boring.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Hey!

• 17:58Dax Shepard?

  And they're riveting. No, I'm telling you. They're absolutely riveting. But on paper, if it was a pitch to a studio and you're like, "Here's the situation. This woman cannot stand these people that hang out on the sidewalk when she's walking." They would go, "No, there's no story there." But there is a story. You just haven't heard Monica tell it.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  That's true. So she said, "You can't go on your walks with it." And I was like, "That's right, I can't." I would feel so scared on my walks wearing a $30,000 watch.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  But then, I will never wear it. The point is that I would wear it as a daily watch, but that includes my wogs.

• 18:40Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Aaron, I almost bought a 30,000.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  I'm getting, yeah.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  I didn't. I didn't buy it and I'm not going to. I've decided definitively I'm not going to. But Dex, you own some expensive watches.

• 18:53Dax Shepard?

  I have one expensive watch.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  And that's kind of how I feel. I could have one expensive.

• 18:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but you're not gonna like this, but I personally don't really have a ton of faith that that Cartier watch is gonna accrue value. I don't think there's a good enough history of Cartier's doing that. My one really expensive watch is one of very few that has just gone up every year for 25 years.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:20Dax Shepard?

  So that one, I really did feel confident that, oh, I'm just getting this and in a pinch, I can definitely sell it and probably make.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  But these are lies we tell ourselves.

• 19:29Dax Shepard?

  You're right. I'm never gonna sell it. My kids are gonna probably find it in a box of shit when I die and they'll have no idea what it's costing. Someone at Goodwill will buy it for $13. And I'll be beyond the grave going, I hope they know they have a fucking Rolex.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Do they know what they have?

• 19:46Dax Shepard?

  That's a panda.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:51Dax Shepard?

  No, none of it means anything. You can like learn it, but you can't internalize it because I had the experience of going to my dad's house after he was dead. And just you look around, you're like, none of this has any value anymore because there's no one here to care about it.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, with the fires, we had to think about all of that a lot. What has real value? What's meaningful? What are we packing? I'm packing a note that Delta wrote me when I had my seizure.

• 20:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Like, that's what matters.

• 20:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Aaron, did you have to clean out anything of your dad's when he died?

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Did you take anything?

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  All his money?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  All that money. He had some things from Vietnam, you know, like his dog tags.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Uh huh, that's cool.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  Military ID that was fascinating to me.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  We've arrived. And by the way, Dax, can I say we're at someplace cute?

• 20:44Dax Shepard?

  We are. And is it leave that door? It is. So I'm not even gonna get to meet Kai, which I would love to, because what a cool name. Maybe I'll knock on the door. Maybe we should just risk getting fired.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Oh, could you get fired that way?

• 20:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they could complain, right?

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  I wonder what you'd have to do to get fired.

• 21:03Dax Shepard?

  Think there's another delivery person?

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Oh, you know what? I'm guilty of that. Having two deliveries at once from different places.

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then there's a third delivery person behind us.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, is it really going to the same place?

• 21:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, let's see. This is very...

• 21:24Speaker 02

  You should ask him, how many deliveries have you had?

• 21:26Dax Shepard?

  What if the door finally opened and then just weed smoked a little out of there? Because the person had the munchy. This is a delivery person as well?

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 21:38Dax Shepard?

  Please go to the same house. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, well, we go three for three? He's taking a picture just like I did.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Good, you did. Good job.

• 21:49Dax Shepard?

  I gotta know what this gal's doing.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Get out of there. What if her ride?

• 21:57Dax Shepard?

  She's gonna take all that food to a second location. Back to the restaurant. Where she bought it from.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Wow, that would be exciting.

• 22:08Dax Shepard?

  That would be an elaborate system is you hate waiting for food, but you love eating at the restaurant. So you get a Postmates to your house, then you Uber to the restaurant.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, he's got a big ol'...

• 22:18Dax Shepard?

  Groceries!

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, grocery delivery.

• 22:20Dax Shepard?

  That's probably the dessert, ice cream and stuff.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, big tub of ice cream.

• 22:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, so you have your dad's dog tags. That's cool.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't think of really anything else besides that.

• 22:31Dax Shepard?

  The only thing I took is all my dad's AA coins.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Right. Oh, yeah, and you gave me one, which I have, by the way.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  That's really sweet.

• 22:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in fact, I owe you probably three more of them.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Can I have one?

• 22:44Dax Shepard?

  There's no five-day...

• 22:47Dax Shepard?

  They don't make a coin for five days.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  I like this street a lot, so I go to this place, L and E.

• 22:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Right there.

• 22:56Dax Shepard?

  What do they specialize in?

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Oysters, seafood. It's very cute. They have a happy hour upstairs. Well, yeah, aphrodisia.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  I always say they get all horned up.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  I've never experienced that from oysters, by the way.

• 23:12Dax Shepard?

  I'm such a perv. There's nothing fucking grosser than oysters to me. And I've stared at them on a menu for like 10 minutes thinking, it'd be worth it to feel really horny. Which is so weird because unless you can do something with the hornies, why do you want to feel? But I do want to feel horny, even if I don't have an outlet.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  That is weird.

• 23:32Dax Shepard?

  I do. Do you like being horny?

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like being horny.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  You do? Even if you can't?

• 23:38Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess you can always masturbate.

• 23:40Dax Shepard?

  I don't get horny to masturbate.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  I do.

• 23:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Don't you, when you go to a hotel or anything?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're right. I do. As soon as I walk in the door, actually.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  You're naked?

• 23:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. As I've said before.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Close the door, let's get some deep.

• 23:55Dax Shepard?

  I eventize it. I get bare naked. I use lotion, which I never, ever use. And I make a warm towel for myself before I start that I put on the nightstand.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 24:07Dax Shepard?

  I do everything short of putting music on.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  And light candles.

• 24:12Dax Shepard?

  Or a big bath for myself.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Have either of your wives walked in on you masturbating?

• 24:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Or girlfriends, I guess.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 24:20Dax Shepard?

  That's a great topic, Monica.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Girlfriends have?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  And did it go poorly?

• 24:26Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Did they join in?

• 24:28Speaker 02

  One time Ruthie was like, well, she was like real busy. You could tell. And I was like, not busy.

• 24:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, you're getting busy.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  I was busy in a different way. She's like on a meeting and I went.

• 24:43Dax Shepard?

  Making money.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, making money.

• 24:45Dax Shepard?

  For the family.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  I was jacking at noon.

• 24:50Dax Shepard?

  During the workday.

• 24:54Dax Shepard?

  Primetime business hours.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Folks people are getting paid. She was like, alright.

• 25:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, this is really weird, cuz I'm obviously so open. And I, of course, am not saying I don't jerk off. But I am embarrassed to be caught jerking off.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Right. I could see that.

• 25:14Dax Shepard?

  Are you embarrassed, or no? You love it.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  A little bit. No, I don't love it. No.

• 25:20Dax Shepard?

  Look at this juicy.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  I'm somewhere in between. You know, I always think how sexy I am when I'm jerking off. I know we've discussed that, so like...

• 25:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  So I guess I kinda wanna get caught, but...

• 25:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  But it depends where I'm at in it. If I'm just starting...

• 25:36Dax Shepard?

  I wanna get caught by someone that doesn't know me.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 25:39Dax Shepard?

  That's attractive.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 25:40Dax Shepard?

  Cuz I think in that moment, yeah, that I would look sexy too.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:43Dax Shepard?

  Of course, it would just be terrifying.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 25:45Dax Shepard?

  But I don't really want someone that knows me to walk in.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:49Dax Shepard?

  Like, what are you doing in here, you creep?

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh my god, ding ding ding, this is where I get waxed.

• 25:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you wanna pop in?

• 25:57Speaker 01

  I do need to pop in.

• 25:59Dax Shepard?

  You could hit two birds with one stone. We'll just bring all the equipment in.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Isn't it cute? It's a store up front.

• 26:04Dax Shepard?

  Wow, that's quite a job. Just one pussy after another you're seeing.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  I know. Oh, god.

• 26:11Dax Shepard?

  There's no male waxers, right?

• 26:13Speaker 01

  I've never seen one.

• 26:15Dax Shepard?

  Would you allow a gay waxer male?

• 26:17Speaker 01

  A gay man?

• 26:18Dax Shepard?

  A gay man.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:19Dax Shepard?

  A gayman?

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 26:20Dax Shepard?

  No, cuz he could just be acting gay.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  It's not even about the sexuality.

• 26:26Dax Shepard?

  Like, if we work together?

• 26:27Speaker 01

  I mean, it is of course.

• 26:29Dax Shepard?

  We put on a whole thing.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  I hate to say that everything is about the sexuality when I'm...

• 26:33Dax Shepard?

  Where anywhere?

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Well, no, because if it was a gay woman, I wouldn't care. It's something about a man near my vagina that I don't want unless I've decided I want.

• 26:49Dax Shepard?

  But it is interesting, cuz, yeah, it's so weird. I would, of course, rather have a girl wax me than a man.

• 26:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would never have a man wax me.

• 26:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Like, the notion of pulling my pants down in front of a strange man, and then him applying wax all to my mom's pubis. I'd way rather have a woman.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  But it's kind of for the same reason. It's because men might lose control at any moment and behave horribly. Pretty much just a woman to do her job.

• 27:19Dax Shepard?

  Even if they kept it together, God knows what's going on.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, after.

• 27:23Dax Shepard?

  They're like click, click, click, click for later.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  I know, exactly, exactly.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. Taking their time might take longer if a guy's waxing you.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  And he's really getting in there.

• 27:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he really is taking his time. Under the guise of being thorough.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Also, taking the time is the last thing you want. You want that done so fast.

• 27:42Dax Shepard?

  You want to keep walking, basically. Take your pants off and never stop moving.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  It's awful. I'm considering getting laser, but I'm also scared of that because it's so permanent.

• 27:53Dax Shepard?

  It's so permanent. And then, yeah, what if this guy from the South likes grass on the field before he plays ball?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  People from the South tend to.

• 28:02Dax Shepard?

  They're notorious for it.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  But they don't really care, right? Don't most guys just kind of take what they can get?

• 28:10Dax Shepard?

  I like both.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:11Dax Shepard?

  Both are very exciting.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  I know.

• 28:13Dax Shepard?

  I think for our generation, it's specific, though, because I grew up looking at Playboy. That's the first time I saw women naked.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:20Dax Shepard?

  And they all had hair, bouge. It represented like womanliness. That's a mature, fertile woman right there.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Not a baby.

• 28:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And so I very much have that seared into my head. I don't know what Gen Z's relationship with it is.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, good question.

• 28:40Dax Shepard?

  I can tell you my children think pubic hair is disgusting. And it is.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, objectively, is pretty gross.

• 28:48Dax Shepard?

  But I like it, dude.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  I miss you.

• 28:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  I remember when we were 20-ish, girls started shaving and that was kind of a newer thing. Because I do remember you.

• 28:59Dax Shepard?

  But it started with just a strip.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, a strip.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  A blending strip, classic one.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  And I know that was exciting for people.

• 29:06Dax Shepard?

  Because it was new.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:08Dax Shepard?

  And I remember at one point I commented on a certain girlfriend's. I was like, oh no, there is no shaving going on. And you're like, oh, really? Don't you want that? And I'm like, oh, no, I love it. I love them.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, you like it wild?

• 29:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess it's wild.

• 29:27Dax Shepard?

  It's kind of wild.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  There's something primitive about it.

• 29:30Dax Shepard?

  There is. That's a great way to say it.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  Is it making a comeback?

• 29:33Dax Shepard?

  It is, it seems. But you see that on like, I'll see movies and girls are having some bush. And they're younger and I think, oh, cool, it's coming back.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think there is sort of this train of thinking that's like, if you are removing all your hair, why are you trying to be like a doll or a baby? That's weird and probably not what you want. So some people think that.

• 29:54Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's a tactile appeal to it when it's completely bare.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I like it bare.

• 30:00Dax Shepard?

  That's like the cheeks, someone's cheeks.

• 30:04Dax Shepard?

  Not a baby's, but an adult woman's cheeks.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  We gotta be careful to say not a baby's cheeks.

• 30:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  If you walked in on your girlfriend masturbating, would you be upset? Like, you were in the house.

• 30:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, like, why didn't you let me?

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Exactly. Why didn't you just decide to have sex with me?

• 30:20Dax Shepard?

  I would just be so happy they're horny. That's kind of all that I think is cool. Like, oh, good, you're horny. You'll want all kinds of things.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 30:33Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Mom's Car. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. You know, it reminds me of all those times when checking first really pays off. Like that time I didn't check the weather before planning a backyard barbecue. Rookie mistake. Or how about when you're about to head out on a road trip and you know to check your tire pressure first? It's those little check-first moments that save us from bigger headaches later. I mean, think about it. You always check if you have your wallet before sitting down at a restaurant, right? Or make sure you've got your keys before closing the front door? These are just smart moves we all make. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.

• 31:18Dax Shepard?

  Terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Co. and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmigiana delivered. A day at the lake? That's a no. A Philly cheesesteak? That's a yes. An afternoon stroll? Sorry, no. A burrito bowl? Happily yes. What about a day of sunshine? Not happening. A box of fine chocolates? Yes, that's happening. Delivery on its way. Okay, how about some clear skies? Nope. Well, then how about some french fries? Yep. A little escape? No. A delicious bowl of grapes? Yes, yes, that. How about a freshly cut lawn? Can't help you there.

• 32:02Dax Shepard?

  But barbecued prawns? Order it and it's on its way. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

• 32:17Dax Shepard?

  Okay, we're gonna take a real question now. I promise I didn't write this one. But I did go through them and think what ones would Monica and I debate about.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  My husband started TRT a few years ago because of low testosterone. This led him into the world of bodybuilding, podcasts, et cetera. He started-

• 32:33Speaker 01

  You wrote this one too?

• 32:34Speaker 02

  No, no, no. He started bodybuilding and has been at it for about three years. I hate it. I love that he has a thing he does that makes him happy, but I can't get past the connotations and the vanity of it all. I know it's completely my issue, but it's weird going from a man who didn't give a shit about this world to a pre-workout-loving, meat and rice-eating, stringer-wearing bro. For context, we are 41 and we've been married 12 years. Have two boys, seven and nine. I do a lot of running and sometimes triathlon, so this is not against working out. It's specifically bodybuilding and how involved it is,

• 33:19Speaker 02

  and I cannot let it go and be cool. And that was from Kate Merrihue.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Kristen Bell.

• 33:28Dax Shepard?

  I K A Kristen Bell.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  She changed a couple of details, but I hear her in that. Gosh, this is tricky. I mean, I get it. I think what she's feeling is how I would feel, which is I don't even know you anymore. That's what's underneath it, is I thought I knew you. You didn't care when we got together. You were this person, and now you're changing. That's scary in a relationship.

• 33:55Dax Shepard?

  I agree. That is kind of inherently scary, because who are you? But then the real personal thing is, and does this different person still like me?

• 34:04Speaker 01

  And do I like this new person?

• 34:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so there's probably like two different things. Is she repulsed by muscles? That's an issue. And is no longer physically attracted to him? That's one issue. Let's just pretend that's not the issue for a second. So this new person has this new pursuit, and I didn't even know they had it in them. And then what else is next? You're unpredictable now.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 34:25Dax Shepard?

  And it's kind of scary. The things I think are perhaps not fair are the pieces she uses to build the argument instead of like what the very vulnerable thing is that's going on. It's like, I don't really buy vanity as a thing. Everyone's vain. It's like, what version of vain are you? I don't know if I buy the vanity part. I think that's an easy thing to... It's like a moral sin to be vain.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:51Dax Shepard?

  But it's also bullshit. We're all vain. We're all looking in the mirror. We all care how we look. We care how we dress. Anyone that does triathlons, they get it. They're into challenge.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  I know, is that?

• 35:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so like, I want this challenge. I want to rise to this thing. I've set for myself this goal. So that should be relatable. I don't see any difference between bodybuilding and doing triathlons.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  I do, because there is a kind of culture around it. It can be, not always, but it can be kind of... Bro-y and douchey. And it kind of sounds like that's sort of what she's saying. Like, the podcast, he's like really immersed. Exactly. Like, he immersed himself in this culture, more than just he wants to be fit. But he wants to be one of these types of guys.

• 35:39Dax Shepard?

  If I'm being dead honest and I was her, I'd be kind of embarrassed to be moving through the world with a bodybuilder as my partner.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 35:47Dax Shepard?

  Just truthfully, I don't think I would love how it reflected on me or what people would assume. Like, oh, she likes Jersey Shore meatheads? So that's something to contend with. Is it about you don't like how it makes you look? Which is very complicated. I'm not willing to say it doesn't matter.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Back to the thing we were talking about earlier with my southern gentleman.

• 36:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  That it's really hard for men, for my soulmate. And that it's hard for men to walk this line, because we are asking now for men to be feminine and masculine and this and that and all the things, and that's really hard. There is something about caring so much about your body that it almost feels effeminate.

• 36:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. This is what Erin's original criticism of me being obsessed with my body at a young age. It's like, that's what girls do.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  Right, right. Like, girls are obsessed with looking a certain way.

• 36:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, having a flat stomach. And it felt very feminine for Erin, right? A little bit, yeah. Yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's interesting.

• 36:50Dax Shepard?

  To like be consumed with it. And I get it. I think in many ways Erin was way more attractive having a belly than me not having a belly, because I thought about it.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Anytime anyone's just fully consumed, there's something a little unattractive about it. I don't know.

• 37:05Dax Shepard?

  You'd have to actually know how it's affecting you. Is he unavailable because of this pursuit? Is he not present as a dad and as a husband? And so, there's a theoretical version where he has this whole thing, but it has no impact on her. He's squeezing in these trips to the gym on his lunch break at work or whatever he's doing, he gets up so early. If it's not affecting you... And you just really have a lot of judgment about it. I'm in an interesting place in this conversation because obviously I work out a lot.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:37Dax Shepard?

  And I take testosterone. I don't listen to bodybuilding podcasts.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:40Dax Shepard?

  I love bodybuilding documentaries. I would never want to look like a bodybuilder. And I guess for me, it's kind of like, why would you care if I'm pursuing this goal of this body? But I'm doing every single thing I've always done. It has had no actual impact on our relationship other than just you don't like the idea of it.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  She made it sound like he went from doing nothing, standing on his ass kind of thing. She seems to exercise and do her thing. She's probably wanted him to take part in something together with her. Instead of going for a walk with her, he fucking went this route. Spends maybe less time there.

• 38:23Dax Shepard?

  If you're a jealous person as well, it'd be hard to not make the conclusion like, well, if you're putting all this time into your body, you're gonna want someone to appreciate it. I know we gotta ride.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Where are we at? Where are we going?

• 38:33Dax Shepard?

  Do you know this place?

• 38:34Speaker 01

  What's it called?

• 38:35Speaker 02

  Oh, it's 600 feet from here.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Oh, this is amazing.

• 38:38Dax Shepard?

  Boo, Vietnamese.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Vietnamese. And Thai kitchen.

• 38:42Dax Shepard?

  I just think in a situation like this, you have to spend almost way more time thinking about all the ways you're affected by it to really figure out really what is the core issue so that you can address it. You just can't go in and go like, I don't like that you go to the gym.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I do think back to what I said at the beginning. I think it's more about identity. In her head, she's probably worried that he's taking on this new identity. And it's not one that she would have maybe chosen to be with.

• 39:12Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  And now she's in it. She has two children with this person. That's also probably a piece of it. If I had kids.

• 39:19Dax Shepard?

  Well, and if you had boys, are they gonna want to be just like that?

• 39:21Speaker 01

  Exactly. And then what are we telling them about what our bodies should look like and what's important? That gets complicated. So I think she's probably struggling with, now I'm married to this type of guy.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  12 years later, a big... Life change like that?

• 39:35Speaker 01

  That's big.

• 39:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but let's just say for a second it was that she's just nervous he's changing. She doesn't know what she's gonna have and if he'll be around. And she could say that and leave bodybuilding out of it. So just like, I'm afraid of change. You're a different person. I don't know about saying that, cuz then he'll say I'm not, I'm just a bigger.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Just huge.

• 39:55Dax Shepard?

  I'm just jacked.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  But don't you think?

• 39:57Dax Shepard?

  But you could comfort someone and go like, honey, this in no way leads to me wanting anything different in life. Like, I still very much want you. I still love our kids. You could address that and reassure that.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:09Dax Shepard?

  But if it's just a simple request to stop doing this thing you love.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  I mean, look, as we have learned on this trip, I love eating, I love going places, I love restaurants. And if I was married to someone and that's what we did, like, we went out, that's part of our life, that's part of our fun, and then he decides to become a bodybuilder, he can only eat protein shakes and chicken breasts. And that is affecting my life. That's affecting the relationship. Like, what we do together is totally shifted.

• 40:38Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  That sucks.

• 40:39Dax Shepard?

  See, that to me is defendable as a topic to bring up. You go like, we used to do this and I enjoyed it so much and now we don't. So how do we fix that?

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:48Dax Shepard?

  As opposed to just like, you quit bodybuilding, that'll fix itself. You gotta address the specific things that are coming up that have changed, that are not working for you. As opposed to just the theoretical umbrella of bodybuilding.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Bodybuilders, am I right?

• 41:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, they're all the same. They're all big.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  I'm trying to make it an equivalent. Like, if Kristen all of a sudden decided showers are bad for you.

• 41:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, she has decided little things, like she decided, I'm not shaving my armpits or my legs anymore.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Right, but you didn't care.

• 41:20Dax Shepard?

  And she didn't consult me. And it's in a sanctified space that I can't even bring it up cuz it's under the umbrella of feminism, kinda?

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Of course. She can do what she wants with her body.

• 41:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she doesn't have to participate in this pageantry so men like you more. And I agree with that, so what am I gonna really say? And I don't care enough. Would it be my preference that there's scraggly hair? coming out of our armpit.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  All these suckers trying to find parking for their deliveries.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  I hope we meet some other delivery people when we drop it off.

• 41:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I hope this person also ordered a dozen.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:55Dax Shepard?

  I really wanted to be to my house one of these times, like my sister just ordered it for the children.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, so this is a good example, but also like, what if it was more extreme? Because you didn't care enough about it.

• 42:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I don't really even care.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  But you would probably care.

• 42:07Dax Shepard?

  I just go like, oh, I don't know that I would do something stylistically or aesthetically and not ask her. Like, I wouldn't go get a nose job and get a tiny nose before I ask her how she feels about that.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Of course, you didn't ask her when you started to bulk up, because also it kind of happened.

• 42:22Dax Shepard?

  I did.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  You did?

• 42:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I said to her, hey, you know, I've always said if I got a Marvel movie, I would get a trainer. I would do all the shit to do it. And I've been kind of waiting as an excuse for that to happen. And it was during COVID and I was like, I'm never gonna be in a Marvel movie. I will have no excuse. If I want to experience it, I just am gonna do it. What do you think about that? So right there is probably, this is a different scenario. This dude probably didn't ask her, so she felt.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Left out.

• 42:52Dax Shepard?

  Like she was.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Abandoned.

• 42:53Dax Shepard?

  Yes, or a part of this huge decision. And she said, I don't care unless I notice that you start acting differently, like more aggressive or something. I want the right to pull the plug on the whole thing. And I was like, yeah, great. And then that hasn't happened. And then in my defense, what happened in those pursuing for years was like you have Atiya's book coming out. Like, it's just more and more, science is now on my side that a good muscular body is going to be healthier metabolically. And it's probably a great decision as you decline that you're starting with more. So now it all worked out.

• 43:33Dax Shepard?

  So I got lucky in that the popular wisdom of the day happens to be that, yeah, being strong is a good thing. Because I could see her saying, in the absence of that, okay, you did it. Now what? Yours is you for the rest of your life. You're gonna work out six days a week? But she too likes to work out.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  She's like now taken on some of it too after you.

• 43:54Dax Shepard?

  Reading out lives.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  Right, but I mean, you kind of brought her into that space, I think. And she's decided to take some of that on. But what if she decided?

• 44:03Dax Shepard?

  She wanted to become 400 pounds.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Do people make that decision?

• 44:08Dax Shepard?

  No, but for the sake of this, I'm willing to pretend that she makes that decision. That one's tricky, but I guess this bodybuilding thing is not too dissimilar. There is a weight of muscle that's unhealthy. You start cannibalizing your organs. That's a well-known condition. But I would, of course, have on my side, I would be able to say, at this BMI index, scientifically speaking, you're shaving 20% of your life off at the end. And we want you to stick around. I don't know that that would be entirely honest.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you could mask it as health.

• 44:42Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  But the truth is...

• 44:44Dax Shepard?

  And I think people do do that. They're not really being honest about the real thing that scares them. And they just mask it under that.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Well, which I like that this woman is not saying that. She's not like, and I'm worried it's unhealthy. She's like, I don't like it.

• 44:55Dax Shepard?

  I think you're right. I just think it's more of, who is this person?

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:00Dax Shepard?

  And even more scary, she might be OK with this version. It's just, what's next?

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Yes, where will it go?

• 45:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes, this kind of unknown fear of like, well, I thought I could have predicted how this person would have done when he was 69.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Approaching the limit.

• 45:14Dax Shepard?

  UPS, boy, this city's full of delivery folks, UPS.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Oh, that's all that's happening around here.

• 45:19Dax Shepard?

  It's like there's one legion of people in their house and the other legion of people is out delivering stuff to their houses.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  Meet at door, you are meeting them.

• 45:26Dax Shepard?

  OK, I'm going up to 5:07. I'm going to climb five flights of stairs. This is what I was telling you about, Monica. They don't ask you how in shape you are.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's a factor.

• 45:35Dax Shepard?

  And not everyone can take five flights of stairs.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  No, they can't, they can't.

• 45:38Dax Shepard?

  What's the weird line to get in the place?

• 45:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 45:40Dax Shepard?

  This is exciting.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  I'll take a dime bag and a...

• 45:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I might come out with...

• 45:44Speaker 02

  Something's going on there, right?

• 45:45Dax Shepard?

  I might come out with a lot of stuff.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  God, you've got to be brave to be a food delivery.

• 45:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, luckily I am.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, look, they met him right outside.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Oh, he didn't even have to climb the stairs.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  He has climbed a few stairs on these trips.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  I'll give him that.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  They were standing right there.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  Tell us about her.

• 46:06Dax Shepard?

  She said, "For Rachel?" I said, "Rachel B?" And she said, "Yep." And I said, "Here you go." And she said, "Thank you." And then she looked at me a little bit weird.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  OK.

• 46:16Dax Shepard?

  And then she went inside.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  And she's like...

• 46:19Speaker 01

  We should have printed, um...

• 46:20Speaker 02

  You are handsome.

• 46:22Dax Shepard?

  God, are you a bodybuilder?

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Have you been working out?

• 46:26Dax Shepard?

  Your wife is so lucky. I've been looking for a man who knows how to build his body. I'm gonna go left here, too. This is where we pick up some action. The places you don't think anyone goes.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  This is near where you told me about the tire guy.

• 46:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes, exactly, John.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  John.

• 46:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, right up here. American Tire Centers. So to put a bow on it.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:48Dax Shepard?

  What's your final recommendation? Mine is to just really explore what's going on maybe a little more. Forget for a second whether you have a good argument, whether it's just stupid activity or not.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:57Dax Shepard?

  Let's say it is. But I think just trying to really figure out what the key fear is that's happening. And then share with your partner what your fear is and give them the opportunity to comfort that. And if that doesn't work, then I guess we're dealing with something else.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Divorce.

• 47:14Dax Shepard?

  Divorce.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  I think it's a conversation that you have. You're vulnerable and then you say, "I'm scared that you're changing and I don't know if it will stop."

• 47:25Dax Shepard?

  Maybe you agree to some kind of boundaries. I don't know what that looks like.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:29Dax Shepard?

  You touring for shows doesn't work for our family. Or if it's too much time. Or if he's really into bodybuilding, he's probably on real anabolic steroids and I don't know if his temperament's changing, you know?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, also, look, listening to all these podcasts, not to be a hypocrite, but... It changes you.

• 47:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, people have gotten sober from our podcast.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  Yes, and that's a beautiful thing. But your mindset can fully change when you are listening to something nonstop. And so I understand a fear of like, that's all you're consuming? That's scary. Maybe there's a boundary of like, can you just promise me that you'll diversify some of the things you're listening to? Oh, guess what we're close to.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Baskin Robbins?

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Kara.

• 48:14Dax Shepard?

  It's really a bigger question of like, how much autonomy do you have in a marriage?

• 48:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 48:20Dax Shepard?

  Which is hard. Kristen could write in and it would be a very easy to defend position where she'd go, my husband's into racing motorcycles. We have a family. My girls love their dad. I don't know why he needs to risk his life doing this.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 48:36Dax Shepard?

  And that's such a legitimate.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  It makes me feel really unsafe.

• 48:39Dax Shepard?

  Scared. And that's a really legitimate fear. And then I would have the opportunity to go like, well, look, they don't die riding motorcycles. Could I get paralyzed? Maybe, but I've been doing track days for 19 days.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  People definitely die.

• 48:53Dax Shepard?

  No, no one's died at a track day that I've been at in 19 years. No one I've ever heard about.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  At a track day, but not on the street.

• 48:59Dax Shepard?

  You could get hurt. I have been hurt. But yet, my defense would be like, this is who you met. This was my passion and I didn't false advertise. And it's really important to me. I get so much spiritual action out of that.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  It's part of who you are.

• 49:13Dax Shepard?

  You're asking me to really give up a big chunk of who I am. I have an air suit, so when I crash, the thing will inflate. That's an improvement. You know, like what things am I doing to be safe? I've stepped down from a thousand to a smaller bike. I did do things, not even with her asking, but post accident, I did some things.

• 49:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think you can ask someone to change fundamentally for you. I do think it's different if you're mid marriage.

• 49:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Like she didn't sign up for this.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  But also people are people. They get to, you know, make decisions about their life.

• 49:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in a dream world, you get to try a lot of different things in life. And they might seem scary or out of character, but I think. I certainly want to do as much stuff as possible on my little trip.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  I agree. Change is good sometimes.

• 49:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. A real hard one is when people get sober.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Those relationships are impossible. I've noticed.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Seen.

• 50:07Dax Shepard?

  Especially if you use together.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:09Dax Shepard?

  Bree and I had definitely had other issues, but that wasn't easy.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:14Dax Shepard?

  We had been drinking together for 19 years. I mean, 19 years, nine years. And all of a sudden, I don't drink when we go out to eat. And then even worse, what was true to me was I didn't mind if she had two glasses of wine, but if she had three glasses of wine, we're having a different experience.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:30Dax Shepard?

  And it sucks that I had to go join this version of it. It just sucked for both of us. It's not fair to her. And for me, I don't want to be at dinner with someone who's a little drunk and isn't going to remember much of it, or is feeling overly emotional, which hasn't been warranted without alcohol.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  There was people who have written in about that.

• 50:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Experiences, yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Oh, God. I mean, I tend to think in that case, even though you're right, it's not fair. But if I was married to someone and they got sober, I would have to change my lifestyle. Maybe not be completely sober, but know that I care about this person's well-being and me drinking a ton around them is maybe not the best.

• 51:15Dax Shepard?

  In my defense, I was like, go out with your girlfriends and get hammered. If we're going to spend the evening together and one of us is a little drunk and the other's not, it's just...

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Not fun.

• 51:24Dax Shepard?

  Not terribly fun for me, yeah.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  It's a tough search. That's the definition of a sticky search.

• 51:29Dax Shepard?

  That's a cat's tutu, as I say.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 51:33Dax Shepard?

  I say that a lot, right?

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I don't get it because cats don't wear tutus.

• 51:38Dax Shepard?

  No, it's catch 22.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 51:40Dax Shepard?

  And then I used to say catch 22 because that sounds funny. And you still actually know what I'm saying.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 51:46Dax Shepard?

  Like, oh, that's a real catch 22.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 51:48Dax Shepard?

  That sounds fun.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's cute.

• 51:50Dax Shepard?

  But then over the years of saying catch 22, it became cats tutu.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 51:53Dax Shepard?

  Which sounds like a kitty cat's tutu.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Exactly, and that's not a thing. That's not a thing that they do.

• 51:59Dax Shepard?

  They don't wear...

• 51:59Speaker 02

  That's not a thing.

• 52:00Dax Shepard?

  Although, they definitely... Only wear tutus on Instagram.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:04Dax Shepard?

  But most don't.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Our phones are gonna be just lasted with cats wearing tutus now that we said it.

• 52:11Dax Shepard?

  I would love to see that. Although I have a hunch if they existed, you and Kristen would have already sent. You know, I'm on a text chain with Kristen and Aaron, an Instagram.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Oh, a chain.

• 52:21Dax Shepard?

  DM chain. And these two love animals so much. I can't tell you how many. And I'm just like, I'm not sure why I'm on the text chain. Like, you guys do not need me on this.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Is it animals?

• 52:33Dax Shepard?

  Just enjoy your animals.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  We do send a lot to each other without you as well.

• 52:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you do? Okay.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  But I think it's become, we both think you need to see. And I'm sure you don't. You don't feel the same way. But it's also really funny to me, some that, I know when she's sending something, I'm like, this is really funny she put it on the one with Dex, because it's gonna fucking hate it.

• 52:55Dax Shepard?

  I don't hate it. It's hard for me to watch them. I'm like, oh, it's another animal doing something.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  They're like minutes long.

• 53:03Dax Shepard?

  Maybe three minutes before the animal does something interesting.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Aaron, you sent me a funny DM the other day of a picture of, what did it say? Like, Monica, let me in your pussy or something?

• 53:13Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I'm on a gem. I forgot about that.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was such a good gem.

• 53:17Dax Shepard?

  What was it?

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Let me look for it really quick.

• 53:19Dax Shepard?

  It says, let me in your pussy? Put me on that chain.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  That's one I'd love.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Oh, it says, Monica, let me eat you out.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Let me eat you out, yeah.

• 53:30Dax Shepard?

  It was like a tag or like someone tagged it?

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, someone graffiti that somewhere.

• 53:34Dax Shepard?

  Well, Monty, we love you. Thank you so much for coming.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  This was fun.

• 53:37Dax Shepard?

  It's fun, right?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm glad we delivered some tasty treats to people.

• 53:41Dax Shepard?

  Did we make two or three deliveries?

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Two.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Two.

• 53:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  How much money total today?

• 53:48Dax Shepard?

  Let's see. No, we're at $4.65.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. And we spent an hour and a half.

• 53:55Dax Shepard?

  We were working it. I wonder if the gal Rebecca B., though, will go inside and then give me more of a tip? I hope not.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Oh, because she knows it's you?

• 54:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  What if she gives you $1,000?

• 54:09Dax Shepard?

  I'll drive back to her house and give her 1,500.

• 54:16Dax Shepard?

  That would be a good trick to fuck with me, actually.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe next season, you guys, you can get the things.

• 54:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  And then when you drop off the food, you leave like a hundred dollars in there.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Just leave everyone cash.

• 54:28Dax Shepard?

  If enough people watch this, I'll commit to that.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  I love you. Love you.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Oh, man. What a date time.