Martha Kelly asks about The Chipmunks

The hilarious Martha Kelly (Euphoria, Baskets) asks Handsome an un-squeak-ably fun question about a desert island and... The Chipmunks?! Plus two run-ins with a Beatle, "balls catching balls", and Atsuko Okatsuka's "proof of life" for Tig! Also, we have new PRIDE MONTH merch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepod and Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/b583d0bc-eeb0-4560-8b2b-5c8ae0248a19?play=false&utm_source=shared_linkThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:26Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSSOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, Handsome's big announcement. Just in time for Pride Month and the start of summer, we got some amazing new merch.

• 1:45Tig Notaro?

  That's right, we've got a handsome tank top, handsome tie-dye, a new handsome hat, and even a gorgeous new handsome bandana. So go to HandsomePod.com and get you some.

• 2:08Mae Martin?

  Cheers.

• 2:09Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the handsome pod. We're Tig and Fortune.

• 2:13Mae Martin?

  Everyone.

• 2:15Fortune Feimster?

  We're Tig and Fortune.

• 2:16Tig Notaro?

  And May, there's May.

• 2:18Mae Martin?

  I'm Tig Fortune and May.

• 2:20Tig Notaro?

  You sure are.

• 2:22Mae Martin?

  We're together again. Hello.

• 2:25Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we are. I'm in Orlando. Hey.

• 2:29Mae Martin?

  Quick Disney trip?

• 2:30Fortune Feimster?

  Nice. Yeah, you going to Disney?

• 2:33Mae Martin?

  Solo Disney jaunt?

• 2:35Tig Notaro?

  You, you know me. Um, I'm doing, um, a corporate situation.

• 2:42Mae Martin?

  Love it.

• 2:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:44Mae Martin?

  Love it. An Orlando corporate situation? Doesn't get better than that.

• 2:47Tig Notaro?

  No, it doesn't.

• 2:49Mae Martin?

  I'm back home. Fortune, you're south?

• 2:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yep, I'm about to, um.

• 2:54Tig Notaro?

  You're in your southern chair.

• 2:55Fortune Feimster?

  As of this recording, I'm headed to Europe. Oh, my God. And next time I talk to you guys, I'll let you guys know how that went.

• 3:04Tig Notaro?

  And this is with your mother?

• 3:06Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, she, she'll be there for half of it, yeah.

• 3:08Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 3:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 3:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so.

• 3:10Mae Martin?

  Are you excited? It's hard to know what to pack for England. I, I was just there. I was just in England.

• 3:14Fortune Feimster?

  The temperature seems a little cooler than I would have expected. Uh, it's like low of 50, high of 60. I didn't, I just thought it would be a bit warmer, but I have a little, a little jacket I'm bringing with me.

• 3:28Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's adorable. What about a little turtleneck? I have a little sweater. And what about some earmuffs? Earmuffs and a turtleneck.

• 3:37Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I need earmuffs. It's not that cold, but.

• 3:39Tig Notaro?

  I know, but it'd be adorable.

• 3:42Fortune Feimster?

  I know, it would be. But, yeah, so I, I'm here in the south as the halfway journey.

• 3:48Mae Martin?

  Uh huh. Right. If you're in the UK and you need a haircut, will you promise us you'll go see Debbie? Cause I, I was just there for four days for a wedding and I was so tempted to just pop in on Debbie and I didn't have time, but God, I, I wanted to see her.

• 4:04Fortune Feimster?

  I'm only there for a night, so I really don't have time, but it would be, I feel like Tig is the one who needs to have this Debbie experience.

• 4:12Mae Martin?

  Tig, hi.

• 4:13Tig Notaro?

  I've had it.

• 4:13Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wait, you did. Oh, you actually did go?

• 4:17Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 4:18Mae Martin?

  Debbie went to Tig's show. Actually, Fortune, would you mind if I?

• 4:21Tig Notaro?

  Because you don't pay attention.

• 4:24Mae Martin?

  Would you mind if I reached out to Debbie and asked if she wanted to go to your show? I'll pay for the ticket.

• 4:29Fortune Feimster?

  Ask away. I'll get her a ticket.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  She'd love it. She'd love it.

• 4:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:34Tig Notaro?

  She needs to have a commercial that where the theme song is Go See Debbie.

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Fortune Feimster?

  Go see Debbie.

• 4:43Mae Martin?

  You won't be disappointed.

• 4:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm excited. I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat a lot of cheese and a lot of pastries. And then when I get home, I need to go on a health kick.

• 4:54Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 4:55Tig Notaro?

  Ooh, what does that look like?

• 4:57Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I started before this and everyone, and I posted about it and everyone's like Tig would be so proud. I went to the farmer's market. Cause they, they said I was like one step closer to getting ready for the wellness weekend.

• 5:14Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 5:14Fortune Feimster?

  I went to a farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 5:19Fortune Feimster?

  And I bought tons of veggies. That's the part they said you would be super stoked about and just made myself every meal. And I lost like three pounds. For a week of eating like that.

• 5:31Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 5:32Mae Martin?

  And did you find it, like, can you cook? Did you find it easy to cook?

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  I did get better as I went. I felt like I started to find a groove. However, I did burn myself.

• 5:41Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 5:43Tig Notaro?

  Fortune.

• 5:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's a gnarly one, right?

• 5:47Tig Notaro?

  That is.

• 5:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's a gnarly one.

• 5:49Tig Notaro?

  What do you say when you have pain instantly?

• 5:52Fortune Feimster?

  Owie.

• 5:55Fortune Feimster?

  Owie, no.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie.

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it was an honest mistake. The oven, I had stuff going on in the oven. I was up top, nothing was going. And I dropped a sweet potato. And I went to get it and didn't realize the top of the oven was super hot.

• 6:11Tig Notaro?

  Did you call that an honest mistake?

• 6:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go back to honest mistake. It was an honest mistake.

• 6:18Fortune Feimster?

  Not a liar mistake.

• 6:20Mae Martin?

  And yeah, every part of that oven is going to be pretty hot.

• 6:23Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't think about that, mate.

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:26Fortune Feimster?

  I don't cook a lot and it got me. I've been putting scar lotion on it every day and new a score in the beginning.

• 6:32Tig Notaro?

  And done vitamin E?

• 6:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I need a little aloe plant in my house.

• 6:37Mae Martin?

  It's a real.

• 6:37Tig Notaro?

  I think vitamin E helps with, um, you know, scarring stuff.

• 6:42Mae Martin?

  That's a, that's a real burn.

• 6:44Fortune Feimster?

  It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned.

• 6:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:51Fortune Feimster?

  But yeah, I ate a lot of veggies, you guys.

• 6:54Tig Notaro?

  What kind of veggies?

• 6:55Fortune Feimster?

  Sweet taters, uh, broccolini, um, onions, uh, Brussels sprouts, red, uh, regular and a red onion. Uh, I got a nice piece of salmon that I made throughout the week. That's not a veggie. I know this.

• 7:12Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 7:12Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and I got some really good chicken breasts. Um,

• 7:16Tig Notaro?

  Hello.

• 7:16Fortune Feimster?

  And just, oh, and a spring salad and tomato, little cherry tomatoes.

• 7:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, that sounds great.

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  Hearts of palm.

• 7:24Tig Notaro?

  We'd love to come over.

• 7:25Fortune Feimster?

  Made us out carrots. Oh, I made, I got a bunch of carrots, the tri-color ones.

• 7:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I love those.

• 7:33Mae Martin?

  Oh, tri-color carrot.

• 7:35Fortune Feimster?

  Tri-color carrots, oh my God.

• 7:37Tig Notaro?

  Yellow, orange, purple.

• 7:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you feel like a gourmet when you're doing that. It's

• 7:42Fortune Feimster?

  I know. So

• 7:42Mae Martin?

  Like a purple carrot.

• 7:44Fortune Feimster?

  And I just, throughout the week, I was like, what do I have? Let me just figure out something with this stuff.

• 7:49Tig Notaro?

  That is divine.

• 7:51Fortune Feimster?

  I know. Go me. The pillar of health. But now I'm about to blow it in Europe. But when I get back, I'm gonna do, do what I did again.

• 7:59Mae Martin?

  Well,

• 7:59Tig Notaro?

  Gotta have your wheels of cheese.

• 8:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And then when you get back, it's, it's time to prep for wellness weekend.

• 8:05Fortune Feimster?

  It's time.

• 8:06Mae Martin?

  It's time to start prepping.

• 8:08Fortune Feimster?

  Time to start prepping, y'all.

• 8:10Mae Martin?

  I feel like we have so, so many updates for each other. Like I, I want to know about Tig, was that Stephen Colbert's last show? I want to know about that.

• 8:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:19Mae Martin?

  I, I went to the Survivor 50 finale.

• 8:22Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 8:22Mae Martin?

  Talk about that.

• 8:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, we have so much to update.

• 8:26Mae Martin?

  Tig, how was it?

• 8:28Tig Notaro?

  How was Colbert?

• 8:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:30Tig Notaro?

  It was really fun. Um, they were trying to get me on the second to last episode.

• 8:37Mae Martin?

  That's funny.

• 8:38Tig Notaro?

  But I was filming and it was. It was not looking promising for a while there. And I just kinda was like, I'm just gonna let go and let God. And then I got a call, you know, a few days before saying, they're gonna put you on the finale. And I was like, oh, heck yeah. And it was fun. It was, you know, your buddy Paul McCartney was the guest.

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  This is what I want to know about.

• 9:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and Elvis Costello was the musical guest.

• 9:12Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  Ryan Reynolds, Bryan Cranston.

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  Can we go back to Paul McCartney for a sec?

• 9:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, sorry.

• 9:22Mae Martin?

  So you were, you were in the same room as him, like closer than you, than you've ever been.

• 9:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, not just close to him. I met him and I also got to sing Hello, Goodbye with him.

• 9:33Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 9:36Fortune Feimster?

  Man, I don't want to, man, I don't want to pile on and you guys can keep discussing this, but I also met him at the Sarnow Live finale. I'll be right back. Keep talking.

• 9:46Mae Martin?

  What do you mean? Is he just going to everything these days?

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  He's making his rounds. He is making his rounds, but he's avoiding you in his rounds.

• 9:58Mae Martin?

  Did you, did you feel emotional when you met him?

• 10:01Tig Notaro?

  I can't say I felt emotional, but I was such a fan as a child.

• 10:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:09Tig Notaro?

  I mean, I'm still such a fan, but it was my fantasy to be the fifth Beatle, even though John Lennon had been killed the year before. You know, I was just in my own world. I'm gonna be the fifth Beatle. And so having loved this band obsessively my whole life, the feeling I had more than anything when I met, when I met him was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole lives.

• 10:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:40Tig Notaro?

  And so it just, it felt like.

• 10:45Tig Notaro?

  You know, when we said hello and shook hands, I was like, ah, finally, we met in person.

• 10:51Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. This is what I would feel too.

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Mae Martin?

  What were his hands like?

• 10:58Fortune Feimster?

  They're very soft, actually.

• 11:00Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 11:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And he looks incredible. He's 83 years old. He's just, he's still got that, like, you know, sexy, cool hair and sexy, cool face, facial hair. And he's rocking it, you know, and.

• 11:15Mae Martin?

  I can't believe you sang. You say yes.

• 11:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's pretty great.

• 11:19Mae Martin?

  I say no.

• 11:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And that's what is so, I was thinking also in my Netflix, like a Netflix special. I think it was in like 2019, I had the Indigo Girls on there. So I've played with the Indigo Girls and I've sung with Paul McCartney. And so I'm just going through and checking off all of my faves slowly but surely.

• 11:42Mae Martin?

  Did you get him? Did you tell him about me? Did you have a, did I come up?

• 11:46Tig Notaro?

  He asked about you. Like as soon, yeah, as soon as I met him, he was like,

• 11:53Mae Martin?

  Don't mess with me.

• 11:54Tig Notaro?

  Girl, tell me all of, oh my gosh, May's kind of believing it. May just said, don't mess with me.

• 12:02Fortune Feimster?

  It's so funny because we had just talked on a prior episode about how none of us had met him. And taken it very close.

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  Fucking met him.

• 12:12Fortune Feimster?

  And then within a week, I both met him. I went to the finale of SNL where he was a musical guest. And so I watched him sing a bunch of these Beatles songs at the end.

• 12:24Mae Martin?

  A bunch of these Beatles songs.

• 12:25Fortune Feimster?

  And then afterwards, I was like, I gotta like, I gotta say hi to him. And so he, he like was about to walk by me and then he stopped to talk to Emma Stone for a long time. And I was like, oh man, I'm never gonna meet him. And then he walked by and I just like shook his hand. I was like, and I was like, you're great. Like he's never heard that before.

• 12:45Mae Martin?

  You're great.

• 12:46Fortune Feimster?

  And he had very, very soft hands and then he was like having fun and dancing with his family. And at some point he pulled out allegedly a little joint, I think.

• 13:00Tig Notaro?

  Of course he did.

• 13:01Fortune Feimster?

  Either that or it's pretty sick, but I'm pretty sure it was a joint. And I was like,

• 13:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:05Fortune Feimster?

  Get it. Oh my God.

• 13:07Mae Martin?

  Like, I'm smiling and I'm so full of joy, but I'm having like slight flashback to the Alanis feelings.

• 13:13Tig Notaro?

  Yes, of course, of course.

• 13:15Mae Martin?

  Like.

• 13:16Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't, at least I didn't sing with him, so I'm off the hook for that one.

• 13:21Mae Martin?

  But I trust, I trust, I live in, in like God or whatever, I, I'm, I trust the universe's timing. I'm like, I will have my moment. I have to, because to me.

• 13:30Tig Notaro?

  You might not.

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  I was, I know, I know, I know.

• 13:34Tig Notaro?

  Let's be honest, you probably won't.

• 13:38Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 13:39Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. I know, like it's.

• 13:42Fortune Feimster?

  But you never know. I mean, I didn't think I was gonna meet him when we had that chat.

• 13:47Tig Notaro?

  I'm a little surprised how many Beatles I've tripped over in my life. I, you know, seeing Ringo at Air One Grocery Store and then eating dinner next to Paul at a vegetarian restaurant and then finally meeting him in New York. That's a lot of running into the Beatles, you know, in a lifetime.

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it really is. It feels like.

• 14:09Tig Notaro?

  Considering half of the band is gone.

• 14:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:11Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 14:13Mae Martin?

  It feels like, like, I don't know, he's representative. It's like, like, meeting him is like a glimpse of a whole other timeline. It's like, yeah, he was the defining figure of a whole era. But the fact that he's still so with it and energized and performing, he's doing three hour concerts and.

• 14:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 14:32Mae Martin?

  Oh, man. Yeah. Last night, my friend was like, maybe you don't want to meet him. Maybe it would ruin it. And I was like, absolutely not. I, I know it wouldn't ruin it. I've seen, I know enough about him that he's a nice guy and I could.

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it wouldn't ruin it. He's just so.

• 14:45Fortune Feimster?

  He did seem really nice.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 14:50Mae Martin?

  Well, I'm happy for you guys.

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  He's just kind of like, hey, hey.

• 14:55Mae Martin?

  Hey. Yeah, that's exactly right. And that's how he's always been.

• 14:59Tig Notaro?

  Fortune is not known for her Paul McCartney impression. Let's be honest.

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  Hey, you know, I actually, I would have guessed that.

• 15:06Fortune Feimster?

  Music.

• 15:08Mae Martin?

  Let's walk.

• 15:13Mae Martin?

  I last, so the luckily, I mean, if I'm on the spectrum in any way, which I'm sure I am, like my hyper fixations, the Beatles are up there and Survivor is up there. And so at least I, I got to go to Survivor 50 finale. Yeah. And it was like, I know you guys are not gonna emotionally connect with this the way I did, but this season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean and that this is decades of interpersonal relationships between these contestants, these returning players who are like, like Greek gods on Mount Olympus that like fight amongst themselves and, you know, flirt and fight,

• 15:55Mae Martin?

  but they're like a dysfunctional family and they are so human, like their hubris always gets to them. And we like root for them and then we watch them crumble.

• 16:03Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 16:04Mae Martin?

  This season was the culmination.

• 16:06Fortune Feimster?

  Like the colosseum.

• 16:07Mae Martin?

  It really is like, yeah. And so to be there and so you've got the cast of that season, but also there were, there were maybe 200 former contestants there who've had this unique experience of being on an island together, surviving.

• 16:21Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Mae Martin?

  And I get to go with the queen of Survivor. So people are losing their minds for part, which is always really gratifying to see her get the love she deserves, you know? And oh my God, it was good. And, and it was, this season was a battle between good and evil, because what happened was there was this MAGA alliance, kind of always it's a reflection, it's a microcosm of American society. And this season, really like the finals, there was this sort of Goliath, and then there was this little woman called Aubrey, who I've watched play for four or five seasons, who's just this little woman, she's always kind of, she's like the every woman where she's like, I have stomach problems. She's like, I feel sick. I'm sunburned. Like I'm anxious. Like I just relate to this woman. She, she rarely wins a challenge,

• 17:07Mae Martin?

  but she's a social mastermind and, and she always gets really far. And this season it came down to like a challenge where this beast man who is sort of a misogynist, he used to be a, a bodyguard. For Roy Moore, the far right politician. Yeah, so he's, he's in the, it's between her and him really, and they're in this final challenge. And Aubrey, you're like, come on Aubrey, you can do this. It's like balls catching balls. And then she says to the camera, she's like, oh my god.

• 17:36Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean balls catching balls? That's just supposed to tell me?

• 17:39Fortune Feimster?

  That is a good question, Tig. I was like.

• 17:41Tig Notaro?

  Thank you. You know, it's like balls catching balls.

• 17:45Mae Martin?

  Balls catching balls. It's like a.

• 17:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't care actually. Go ahead. Balls catching balls.

• 17:53Mae Martin?

  It's a marble run where you have to catch them and add balls and be really quick. And she's, she finds out what this challenge is, and this is a crucial moment in the game where, and there's three guys and her. So final four, and all the three guys are saying to each other, basically, we want a guy to win. The three of us will kick out Aubrey. She's, no, no way she's gonna win immunity. She sees the challenge and then she says to the camera, she's like, oh my god.

• 18:16Tig Notaro?

  She's gonna win. I feel like she's gonna win.

• 18:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it feels like, it feels like we're being set up for her to win.

• 18:21Tig Notaro?

  That's it. That's how I'm feeling for it.

• 18:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Mae Martin?

  But she goes, I bought this challenge on Etsy to practice it, but just in case it came up. And she's like, I, I can do this. I've done it for, I practiced for months. And then everyone's like, oh.

• 18:37Tig Notaro?

  Classic her.

• 18:38Fortune Feimster?

  Classic Etsy buyer.

• 18:40Mae Martin?

  And it's like, that, people are like, that's, oh, what a lucky choice. That's not luck. That's hard work.

• 18:47Fortune Feimster?

  They're bringing in past games as well.

• 18:50Mae Martin?

  Uh, yeah, the challenge is.

• 18:52Tig Notaro?

  Balls chasing balls.

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  Like, how did she know to buy this game? It was a previous game in another season?

• 18:58Mae Martin?

  They often repeat games. Yeah, often. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:01Fortune Feimster?

  Got it.

• 19:02Mae Martin?

  But then, so, yeah, she wins. And now this, this, it was just, I met her after, I was like in tears and I said, this is about more than Survivor. I was like, this, I don't know what I would have done.

• 19:13Tig Notaro?

  Wait, tears like, what kind of tears?

• 19:16Fortune Feimster?

  Like, I think I was crying.

• 19:18Tig Notaro?

  Right, but like, what were you feeling?

• 19:20Mae Martin?

  Joy, joy.

• 19:22Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 19:23Mae Martin?

  Relief, relief, like, I, I-

• 19:25Fortune Feimster?

  They went, "Oh."

• 19:26Mae Martin?

  It was like, "Oh, there's hope in the world."

• 19:28Tig Notaro?

  I'm having a hard time connecting with this.

• 19:30Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay, anyway, the point is, it was big for me. If anyone's listening-

• 19:35Fortune Feimster?

  It was big for me, that's all that matters.

• 19:37Mae Martin?

  There's gonna be like, a percentage of our audience who are electrified by this. But then, most people won't be, but-

• 19:43Fortune Feimster?

  No, there are a lot of fans of this show.

• 19:46Mae Martin?

  Watching the interpersonal dynamics between all the previous players, like, I'm sitting next to Ben, I'm sitting, you know-

• 19:52Tig Notaro?

  Ben was there!

• 19:53Mae Martin?

  It's crazy!

• 19:54Fortune Feimster?

  Not Ben.

• 19:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Fortune and Ben was there. Now, May-

• 19:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:59Tig Notaro?

  It's interesting hearing about this, because Fort- not Fortune, um, Survivor isn't really on my- Of course, I know about it, but it's not anything I follow or watch, obviously. And while you're talking about it, it's, it's that reminder of like, "Oh, right, these shows are about the interpersonal relationships and the like..." And have you learned anything, like, watching the show of like, "Oh, how to deal like, in social dynamics, or I could manipulate this person in this way, or I could become friends, or insert myself, and, um, yeah, what kind of lessons have you learned?"

• 20:37Mae Martin?

  Thank you for asking. What a wonderful question.

• 20:41Tig Notaro?

  That's what interests me more, is like, what, what have you walked away with personally?

• 20:46Mae Martin?

  I've learned so much, but, um, the people who, the main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable, fluid people, because if you carry a grudge for even a day, you're fucked. Because you, you might be left out of a vote, your best friends voted off, and now you're alone on this tribe with all people who, who don't really want to play with you. If you sulk, you're done, but you can come back and go, "Guys, that was an amazing move, you got me, wow, now, now, moving forward, what should we do next?" Like, and those people go far, and, and having that fluidity, and like, every day's a new day, you could completely turn the game around.

• 21:22Tig Notaro?

  That's interesting.

• 21:23Mae Martin?

  And that you make your own luck, you know?

• 21:25Tig Notaro?

  And do you feel like you're applying that, or it's just like, a lesson you're learning, um, kind of in a, you're observing that lesson, going, "Huh, but I'm having trouble applying it."

• 21:37Mae Martin?

  Oh, I'm always having trouble applying, but it's more like watching just there's, it's just so human. Everyone has different qualities that you see in yourself and stubbornness. And, and also you're like, oh my God, how would I do in the beating sun, not eating, sleeping on the dirt?

• 21:54Fortune Feimster?

  I can tell you right now, I'd not be good.

• 21:56Tig Notaro?

  Fortune would want her veggies.

• 21:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:00Fortune Feimster?

  I've been wanting to win those challenges where they, like, food is up for grabs.

• 22:06Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah, the rewards.

• 22:07Fortune Feimster?

  Where they just like-

• 22:07Tig Notaro?

  Where you have to eat bugs.

• 22:09Fortune Feimster?

  Where you eat stuff until you throw up because you haven't been eating like that.

• 22:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah. You know who was there at the finale was Adam Scott. I saw him. He's a big fan. Yeah. And Gayle King is a big fan.

• 22:21Tig Notaro?

  Big fan of Survivor or of you?

• 22:24Mae Martin?

  Survivor. No one was excited. It was, I was nothing in the room. It was so nice. Like the, there's such a deep fandom there. And so it was like, I'm sitting next to this guy, Todd Herzog, who won season like four or something.

• 22:40Tig Notaro?

  Todd was there.

• 22:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And he, to me is like the biggest deal. So it was great. Yeah.

• 22:46Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 22:46Mae Martin?

  And nice to be there with Parv, but yeah, Parv and I are doing good.

• 22:51Tig Notaro?

  Good, good.

• 22:53Mae Martin?

  I feel like I haven't talked about it on the pod.

• 22:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I mean, you've hinted at some things.

• 22:58Fortune Feimster?

  Anything you want to say.

• 23:02Mae Martin?

  Well, in a way, I feel like I learned my lesson last time by talking so much about her. And then that, that was tough, but we've, we've never really fully disconnected for a long period of time. We've stayed in each other's lives and yeah, Parv's the best. And people are complicated and it's feeling really good. People are complicated. We've always been like full of respect for each other and care. So yeah, it's been nice.

• 23:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 23:34Mae Martin?

  I mean, I'll keep you posted.

• 23:36Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 23:38Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you know, as you know, this is a podcast where we talk about a lot of things. And as far as what people share about their own lives is always your call. And, you know, sometimes we're in a podcast that as people have seen where life is happening around us. And sometimes it's complicated and tough. And it's hard not to like, want to talk about it, but also like trying to like have some boundaries and, you know.

• 24:02Mae Martin?

  That's it. Like, I don't want to feel like I'm being coy and like not, cause it, so I just, yeah.

• 24:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, you gotta, there's personal, I don't, I've not talked to at all about like my situation is in any more than just like the fact of it not being a current relationship. It's just, you know, some things have to be for yourself and that's just what it is.

• 24:25Mae Martin?

  But I'm really happy anyway. So that's good.

• 24:27Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's good. That's, that's what matters.

• 24:29Mae Martin?

  But mainly I'm happy in myself, you know, individually, I'm happy.

• 24:33Fortune Feimster?

  That's, that's important.

• 24:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:35Fortune Feimster?

  Cause you have to feel good about yourself. Cause that will also, that will also dictate how people treat you, not in your, you know, that relationship, just in general.

• 24:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's wise fortune. I like that.

• 24:46Tig Notaro?

  Wise, wise fortune.

• 24:49Fortune Feimster?

  The better we feel about ourselves, the less we're willing to put up with people not, you know.

• 24:54Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 24:54Fortune Feimster?

  Treating us well.

• 24:56Mae Martin?

  Also, did you know that in Michigan, there's a town called Hell that's being sold for $666,000? And it's like a tourist attraction called Hell, Michigan. And it's like, they have a church and they, and they have, where you can get married. They have a mini golf course and this guy, John Cologne, of course, that's his name. He's 80 and he's like, I don't want to run Hell, Michigan anymore. Can someone else take it over? So, so I was wondering if you guys wanted to go in with me.

• 25:24Fortune Feimster?

  I love that one guy was running the show there.

• 25:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it was just this guy. He's got seven, seven acres and he, he's made it a little town.

• 25:31Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, so hit, the entire town is just his property of seven acres. Okay. Cause I was like, how does one person become in charge of an entire town?

• 25:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 25:40Fortune Feimster?

  Now I know.

• 25:41Mae Martin?

  It's all him.

• 25:42Tig Notaro?

  I'm down.

• 25:44Fortune Feimster?

  Do we know if he named it that?

• 25:46Mae Martin?

  Uh, that's a good question, but maybe we could do Wellness Weekend at Hell.

• 25:51Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, clearly, he's leaning into it for that to be the sell price.

• 25:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like the door, the welcome says like, welcome, these are the gates of hell. He looks like a funny guy. There's all these eccentric people all over America.

• 26:04Fortune Feimster?

  This eccentric guy was like, I'm tired of running this place.

• 26:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Fortune Feimster?

  I'm ready to hang it up, let somebody else take over hell.

• 26:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Tig Notaro?

  People that don't like him are like, he's literally the devil.

• 26:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:17Tig Notaro?

  The guy that runs hell. What were you gonna say, May?

• 26:21Mae Martin?

  Well, I'm just over excited and telling you all my news, but yesterday I went to Brett Goldstein's premiere of his Jennifer Lopez movie.

• 26:30Fortune Feimster?

  Jennifer Lopez.

• 26:31Mae Martin?

  Jennifer Lopez.

• 26:32Fortune Feimster?

  I saw that. You were on the red carpet with your friends and looking very dapper and handsome.

• 26:38Mae Martin?

  Thank you, but it was, it was so good and I'm so proud of him, but I met, um, the person I was most excited to meet was Abby from Love on the Spectrum.

• 26:46Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:47Mae Martin?

  That was amazing.

• 26:48Fortune Feimster?

  She's cute.

• 26:48Mae Martin?

  She was so great and, uh, she, her mom knew who I was, which was an in for me, so I could say hi. And I said, I'm such a big fan, Abby. And she said, that means the world to me. And I, yeah.

• 27:01Tig Notaro?

  Look at you.

• 27:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 27:04Tig Notaro?

  Look at you.

• 27:04Fortune Feimster?

  Did you ever watch any of those shows, Tig?

• 27:06Mae Martin?

  Tig, have you?

• 27:09Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 27:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, I think you'd really love them.

• 27:11Fortune Feimster?

  I think you would too.

• 27:12Tig Notaro?

  I don't, I don't doubt that I would. I just, um, I don't know how to quite explain that nothing like that ever crosses my mind.

• 27:22Fortune Feimster?

  Nothing matters.

• 27:24Mae Martin?

  It would never occur to you to watch it.

• 27:25Tig Notaro?

  It just would never.

• 27:26Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know how to tell you guys that nothing like that matters to me.

• 27:31Fortune Feimster?

  I don't care about your TV shows.

• 27:33Tig Notaro?

  I've almost, almost a month, um, not on social media.

• 27:37Fortune Feimster?

  How you feeling?

• 27:39Tig Notaro?

  Totally fine. It's like it never even happened.

• 27:41Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 27:42Tig Notaro?

  I've switched to an Apple Watch.

• 27:45Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 27:46Tig Notaro?

  Which I did, um, a couple of months ago, but, um, I, uh...

• 27:51Mae Martin?

  What's that for?

• 27:52Tig Notaro?

  Well, I have the Apple Watch where you don't need to have your phone with you. So I just don't have a phone with me and I just have an Apple Watch and I don't have many options on it. Um, and so I just am completely out of touch.

• 28:09Mae Martin?

  I love that.

• 28:10Tig Notaro?

  And it's just, it's been such a nice experiment. Obviously, I'm like emailing out like on my flight out to Orlando. Those are always really great moments to catch up on emails and everything. But um, the whatever I'm just.

• 28:28Mae Martin?

  No scrolling.

• 28:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I just, I, as I mentioned, that kind of influx of information I wasn't even looking for. It really hit me on a deep, deep level. And, and that's not to say I'm not um, seeking out. You know, like I looked and oh, yeah, sure, I seek out news. Um, but also like after the Colbert finale, I went and looked at um, clips on YouTube. And um, yeah, I don't know, I just feel. And I, I, I always want to say I could end up TikTok Tig tomorrow, but for right now.

• 29:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, for right now, I'm just really enjoying the, the distance from everything and taking in.

• 29:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 29:17Tig Notaro?

  Things just very differently.

• 29:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I, I, I wonder what that would feel like for me. Cause like, like for instance, the, the hell Michigan thing. That's like, that feels like pressing news to me like that I had to, I make, I made a note of it in my phone. And it's like, I'm seeing thousands of those things a day. I must've scrolled past that and been like, whoa, and then wrote it down. It's like, what if I just made space of all that trivia and little things? Yeah.

• 29:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it depends on what you're looking for, you know?

• 29:48Fortune Feimster?

  We don't have as many May facts.

• 29:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 29:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, I do have a lot of books, a lot of fact books from tour that people gave me.

• 29:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh, real quick, I was, Stephanie and I were at a wedding this last weekend. And you know, the comedian, oh, yes, you do, Otsko, Okatska, she and her husband were there. And she was joking that um, because, because she was like, oh, I saw you're not on Instagram anymore. And I said, oh, yeah. And, and she goes, well, I'm gonna start doing proof of life when I see you.

• 30:22Tig Notaro?

  Just post things of you Tig was last seen in Montecito. Yeah, I thought that was really funny.

• 30:33Fortune Feimster?

  At least you have this podcast. People will know you're still what you're up to.

• 30:37Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, obviously. It's not like I'm erased from the internet or anything.

• 30:42Fortune Feimster?

  You will not exist if you're not on the internet.

• 30:46Mae Martin?

  What if you just started like fading, like, like just becoming kind of translucent and then fading away?

• 30:52Tig Notaro?

  I'm open to it.

• 30:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, to becoming a vapor?

• 30:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 30:56Fortune Feimster?

  Whatever.

• 30:57Tig Notaro?

  Sure. I'm curious to head down different roads, see what's down there.

• 31:07Tig Notaro?

  But I'm, it is, it's, I have to say, I'm genuinely enjoying this transition I've been doing of, like I said a few months ago, moved to Apple Watch and then it also naturally came up where I was like, I don't want to be on social media. And yeah, I'm just, it just feels good.

• 31:29Mae Martin?

  This is a boring question, but can you use your Apple Watch to get your maps on in your car? You know what I mean?

• 31:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:37Mae Martin?

  You can navigate and just use it. Okay, cool.

• 31:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And you can, there's, you know, you have choices of what you have. And I try to just have not inundated by, you know.

• 31:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Okay, cool.

• 31:50Tig Notaro?

  Email stuff.

• 31:52Mae Martin?

  I'm love, I'm driving a lot and I'm, I love, I love the maps. I love the little, I have a little British voice going, Sunset Boulevard. And I wish it was Debbie or Paul McCartney. Okay.

• 32:03Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you definitely need to know where you're going.

• 32:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:06Fortune Feimster?

  That was a, that was a good Paul accent. I'll try to work on mine.

• 32:11Mae Martin?

  I just listened to a podcast with him talking about what it was like in, in Liverpool, growing up, post-war and what effect that had on their music. I'm, I'm trying to listen to less true crime, like inspired by you Tig and what you're taking in. I'm listening to less horrific true crime. And instead I'm listening to like World War One podcasts and stuff and that are equally grotesque and awful. But in a way it's reassuring because things feel so cruel sometimes now. And then you're like, oh, it's always been really bad.

• 32:44Tig Notaro?

  It's always been.

• 32:44Mae Martin?

  It's always been.

• 32:45Tig Notaro?

  Always.

• 32:46Mae Martin?

  The trenches were not.

• 32:47Tig Notaro?

  People used to get regularly beheaded.

• 32:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:49Tig Notaro?

  As punishment.

• 32:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:50Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 32:51Fortune Feimster?

  And people would watch and be into it.

• 32:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they'd be cheering. Yeah, yeah. So at least.

• 32:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:58Tig Notaro?

  At least that's also still happening in some places.

• 33:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:03Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, it's just like it's there's so much dreadful history in the world. And it is, like you said, it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad.

• 33:16Mae Martin?

  And it's kind of interesting, like I'm onto the French Revolution now, which is always interesting. But you're like, okay, where, what point did it have to get to for the people to? But then they beheaded all these, well, Marie Antoinette I'm interested in because I, I didn't realize she was like 12 when she got married to.

• 33:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 33:37Mae Martin?

  Another 12 year old. They were, it was like, she was Austrian and then.

• 33:41Tig Notaro?

  Wait, they were both 12?

• 33:43Mae Martin?

  They were both about 12, 13, and he was, I think Louis the 15th in France, and they married them off to sort of align the two countries. And then she became this crazy projection of everybody's rage and desire and yeah. And she's pretty interesting. I want to watch that movie. Kind of like me.

• 34:05Fortune Feimster?

  Exactly like that.

• 34:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, I love that.

• 34:11Tig Notaro?

  That's funny.

• 34:12Mae Martin?

  That was funny, what you said.

• 34:14Tig Notaro?

  That was.

• 34:16Mae Martin?

  Should we, should we?

• 34:17Fortune Feimster?

  Let's get to our question.

• 34:19Tig Notaro?

  Let's do it.

• 34:20Fortune Feimster?

  Today's question is brought to you by AT&T.

• 34:23Mae Martin?

  Today's question asker is a comedian and actor who starred in the FX comedy Baskets and played the title character in the animated TV show Carol in the End of the World. She was nominated for an Emmy for her work in Euphoria and stars in the third season of the show out now. Martha Kelly is asking today's question.

• 34:41Tig Notaro?

  And I have to say Martha is a dear old pal of mine. We came up in the early days, like open mics with like Zach Galifianakis and Maria Bamford. And, um, and Martha was always like just the most.

• 35:01Tig Notaro?

  Ridiculous person that was so nervous, stood outside of the spotlight. I think even once hid behind a bookshelf on stage. But she and I have such a history together and touring. She and I did this Knock Knock It's Tig Notaro tour on Showtime where we went and did people's homes, like our fanbase. We went and performed in their homes and Martha and I always would get in little fights where she wouldn't allow me to drive my own car and like. And my endless, endless.

• 35:42Tig Notaro?

  I know we have to get into her thing, but like one time Martha was on a diet where she could only have like strictly, a strictly potato diet.

• 35:53Mae Martin?

  No.

• 35:56Tig Notaro?

  And she, she's, you know, she's, she's very much like, I need this and we have to get this. And so we were driving around looking for a potato and we pulled over. There were two other comedians with us. We pull over, we all stand in this long line to order our food. We all get our food, get back in the van and she is outraged, gets in the car. They didn't serve potatoes and all of us in the car, the rest of the comedians, we all have our food and we're just chowing down and she is, she's like, you know, the angry mom carpooling, like peeling out in the minivan that we're in tour and we all got very quiet and like, oh man, we can't mess with her.

• 36:41Tig Notaro?

  She hasn't had a potato today.

• 36:46Tig Notaro?

  But she also, God, makes me laugh so hard and I don't know, people might know her more as an actor now, but man, is she a funny standup. She's funny walking through the world and acting, stand everything. She's just a delightfully ridiculous human being that I adore so.

• 37:10Mae Martin?

  I remember Knock Knock It's Tig Notaro. I remember that with, and John Doerr did some.

• 37:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, John Doerr. Martha just makes a, Martha makes a, an appearance, I think, in the very beginning of it.

• 37:22Mae Martin?

  Okay, I want to rewatch.

• 37:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Anyway, Martha Kelly.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Hi, I'm Martha Kelly. I'm on Euphoria and my question is for each of you to answer individually. If you were trapped on a desert island with one of the Chipmunks, would it be, would you choose Alvin, Simon, or Theodore? And unfortunately, this is not hypothetical. I have already paid the contracts. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it.

• 38:00Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no.

• 38:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no.

• 38:03Fortune Feimster?

  I wouldn't mind. I don't want to be on a desert island. I'm too fair skinned.

• 38:08Mae Martin?

  I want to see what I'm made of. And I like the idea that if you're kidnapped on an island, no one could be mad at you, you know? You're like, you're-

• 38:16Tig Notaro?

  And no one can be attracted to you either, May.

• 38:18Mae Martin?

  Exactly. You're not a projection of everyone's rage and desire anymore.

• 38:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 38:22Fortune Feimster?

  Try it. I can't believe-

• 38:24Speaker 05

  Trying to survive.

• 38:26Tig Notaro?

  I love that Martha thinks, she just assumes we know the Chipmunks.

• 38:35Fortune Feimster?

  You guys are gonna have a lot to say about the Chipmunks.

• 38:38Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy. This is gonna really open up a conversation.

• 38:41Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, this definitely, I don't know how we're gonna fit in all the things we have to say about the Chipmunks in this episode.

• 38:48Tig Notaro?

  I know. I have so much to say.

• 38:50Fortune Feimster?

  Did y'all, did any of you watch The Chipmunks growing up?

• 38:54Tig Notaro?

  I saw it. My, my father-in-law is very into The Chipmunks and he's shown Max and Finn. And I feel like it's, is it that kind of older kind of show, Thomas?

• 39:06Mae Martin?

  They've brought it back. They brought it back, but now, but it used to be in the eighties, right?

• 39:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, well, like when I was growing, when I was young, it was like a popular cartoon on TV. But like in our, in, I don't know, 15 years ago, they made a animated movie of it, right?

• 39:22Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 39:23Fortune Feimster?

  Or 10 years ago, I don't know how long it was.

• 39:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, it started in 1958 as Novelty Records with like the sped up squeaky voices.

• 39:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, so this is my father-in-law's time.

• 39:36Speaker 05

  And then the first show was in the early sixties.

• 39:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Fortune Feimster?

  And then there is that Christmas song.

• 39:42Tig Notaro?

  What is it?

• 39:43Fortune Feimster?

  "Me, I wanna hula hoop. We can hardly stand the weight. Please, Christmas, don't be late."

• 39:56Mae Martin?

  Yep.

• 39:56Tig Notaro?

  Wow. I, that doesn't even sound remotely familiar to me.

• 40:01Fortune Feimster?

  I can't do the chipmunk voice.

• 40:03Mae Martin?

  I, the hula hoop thing sounded familiar to me. So.

• 40:08Tig Notaro?

  Well, you've probably heard of hula hoops.

• 40:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:11Fortune Feimster?

  Well, cause you know, there's the Alvin.

• 40:14Tig Notaro?

  No, I don't know that.

• 40:15Fortune Feimster?

  The father.

• 40:17Mae Martin?

  They're, the human that they live with is always annoyed.

• 40:20Fortune Feimster?

  Or something.

• 40:21Tig Notaro?

  They have a human father?

• 40:22Mae Martin?

  Just a friend, just a friend.

• 40:24Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, it's a friend?

• 40:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I thought it was like a father figure.

• 40:28Tig Notaro?

  A human friend?

• 40:30Fortune Feimster?

  That always yelled at Alvin. Wasn't Alvin kind of the like, um, mischievous one?

• 40:36Mae Martin?

  Well, Thomas has sent a link here, so just briefly.

• 40:39Tig Notaro?

  I'm just going with Alvin.

• 40:41Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 40:42Tig Notaro?

  I, I take Alvin.

• 40:43Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we have to, let us go through what each chipmunk is real quick.

• 40:48Mae Martin?

  The main qualities of each? Okay, we got.

• 40:51Tig Notaro?

  This feels like a version of the Golden Girls situation. It really does, yeah. What are we talking about?

• 40:57Mae Martin?

  So Alvin's like the troublemaker, the, the leader. The term look before you leap does not apply to him. He's an emotional roller coaster. He's enthusiastic, he's kind of greedy and selfish, but he loves his brothers. And he's fearless and he'll stick up for them. He does not like anybody touching his cap. And he has no trouble in saying, don't touch the cap.

• 41:17Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 41:18Mae Martin?

  Okay. Simon, Simon is the oldest nerdy one. He's tall, he's the middle child and he's, sorry, not oldest. He has an IQ bigger than Einstein. And he's got a dry sense of humor and a keen wit. And he's a chess master. And Simon worries a little bit. He worries about everyone. Theodore.

• 41:38Tig Notaro?

  What if we found out that May was just riffing all this?

• 41:41Fortune Feimster?

  And then May remembers all of this.

• 41:45Mae Martin?

  And then Theodore is the youngest and he's innocent. He's loving, gullible, trusting, naive. He, uh, he often is the peacemaker between his two brothers and appeals to Theodore's better nature. And, uh, his sweet nature makes him an easy target for bullies. But then they'll have to answer to his big brothers. His color is green.

• 42:04Tig Notaro?

  Can you repeat those again?

• 42:08Mae Martin?

  For real?

• 42:09Fortune Feimster?

  Do you guys resonate with any of those?

• 42:12Mae Martin?

  Well, I'm thinking about being stranded on a desert island. You don't want someone greedy and who who doesn't think before they leap. I think you want, I'm going with Theodore, even though he's serious and nerdy.

• 42:25Fortune Feimster?

  Simon.

• 42:27Mae Martin?

  You want sweet little Simon.

• 42:29Fortune Feimster?

  I want Simon because he's so smart.

• 42:32Mae Martin?

  No, Theodore is smart.

• 42:33Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I felt Simon was smart.

• 42:35Mae Martin?

  Simon is.

• 42:36Speaker 05

  Smart.

• 42:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Simon has the Einstein.

• 42:40Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, you're right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well. Sorry.

• 42:45Tig Notaro?

  Nobody wants Theodore?

• 42:47Mae Martin?

  Well, you're trying to survive. You don't want to be looking after.

• 42:49Fortune Feimster?

  Peacemaker. We don't, we don't need to get along. We just need to survive.

• 42:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:57Fortune Feimster?

  Alvin does seem like he would be fun.

• 42:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:00Fortune Feimster?

  So like he would keep, he would keep things lively. Theodore might just be too boring.

• 43:05Mae Martin?

  Wait a minute, there, this human is their father. It says Dave Seville, like any other single parent trying to raise three kids.

• 43:15Fortune Feimster?

  Single dad trying to raise three chipmunks. It's not easy.

• 43:19Tig Notaro?

  Shows get greenlit.

• 43:21Fortune Feimster?

  Well, it started in the sixties. It was popular when I was a kid.

• 43:27Tig Notaro?

  I mean.

• 43:27Fortune Feimster?

  Alvin. That's what he would yell. And I was like, man, must be hard to be a single dad.

• 43:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:35Fortune Feimster?

  You know, all those single dads out there raising three chipmunks.

• 43:39Tig Notaro?

  So where's his, his wife must have been a chipmunk, right?

• 43:43Fortune Feimster?

  That's what's worrying me. I don't think that the dad, I don't think biologically, he's the dad. I think, I think, you know, how chipmunks kind of make their way places.

• 43:54Tig Notaro?

  Adopted them. He adopted them.

• 43:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, let's not get crazy here.

• 44:00Tig Notaro?

  Okay, okay.

• 44:02Fortune Feimster?

  I haven't, I honestly have not thought about the chipmunks in so long. It's so.

• 44:08Tig Notaro?

  Since Christmas time.

• 44:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, of course I listen to that song every Christmas. It's funny though, because I have not thought about any chipmunk in forever, but I just went to the zoo and I haven't been to the zoo in forever.

• 44:20Tig Notaro?

  By yourself?

• 44:21Fortune Feimster?

  And I know with some friends and I kept seeing chipmunks running around.

• 44:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're cute. I love a little chipmunk.

• 44:28Tig Notaro?

  They're so cute.

• 44:29Fortune Feimster?

  I couldn't believe, luckily the zoo was a very like, you know, sometimes you hear about zoos and they seem like depressing.

• 44:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:37Fortune Feimster?

  This is the Atlanta Zoo run very well and the habitats are amazing. These, you can tell these animals are well cared for. I couldn't believe how childlike I became.

• 44:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:49Fortune Feimster?

  At the zoo going like, look, look at, look at the orangutan over there. Oh my God.

• 44:54Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 44:55Fortune Feimster?

  Look at, look at, look at them. You know, I'm just like, I became a legit seven year old, so pumped for every animal.

• 45:04Mae Martin?

  Okay, Thomas, I put it on the list. We gotta take Fortune to the zoo because I need to see that version of you, Fortune.

• 45:09Fortune Feimster?

  There's a silverback.

• 45:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Look at the tiger, look at the tiger, it's in the corner.

• 45:14Tig Notaro?

  Or we could just replay this.

• 45:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, true.

• 45:17Tig Notaro?

  We could edit in pictures of different animals and then show Fortune.

• 45:22Fortune Feimster?

  I was like.

• 45:22Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, can social media make that video?

• 45:25Fortune Feimster?

  Please.

• 45:26Tig Notaro?

  Where Fortune's saying different animals and then they show a picture of the animal quickly.

• 45:31Mae Martin?

  Can you do an elephant, Fortune? Do the elephant one?

• 45:33Fortune Feimster?

  Look at the elephants. Oh my God. Giraffe, zebras.

• 45:40Fortune Feimster?

  I was like, every single animal, I'd acted like I've never seen this animal before. And if they were like hiding in any crevice, I was like, you can see the tail. Look, look, look. And I was not doing this to be funny. I legit was like so present at the zoo in a way I've not experienced with myself in a very long time.

• 45:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, I love that. And then I love that even adults, like when you're leaving the zoo, the question is always, what was your favorite animal? Like which was, which was your favorite? Which, which was?

• 46:08Fortune Feimster?

  Mine was definitely the orangutan. Yeah. Uh, I mean, all the monkeys, it was very fun to see them, the chimps climbing on each other and. Amazing. You know, the lion, the lions were right by the window and their paws are just so massive. It's like crazy.

• 46:27Tig Notaro?

  So cute.

• 46:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Yeah, I was, I was very impressed with their setup there. They, they put a lot of care and money into the zoo, I think. Yeah. I don't like the reptiles. Really? Not into those. You don't like the cold blooded? I went to the little hall with all the snakes and the Komodo dragon.

• 46:53Tig Notaro?

  If someone came up behind you and you were looking at a snake and went, ah, would you?

• 46:56Fortune Feimster?

  I would piss myself.

• 46:58Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:58Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, so now Fortune, so socials can edit in like the reptile hall. Can you do your reaction to? Yeah, great, great, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom had a black snake climb up her door last week. And black snakes are, of all the snakes, that's the friendliest one. You want them around because they help with your garden and they kill like predators and yada, yada. But still, it's a big ass snake. This was a massive snake. It climbed up her door and it coiled itself around her door handle.

• 47:31Tig Notaro?

  Oh, whoa.

• 47:33Fortune Feimster?

  Not a snake, no. She was inside. It was a screen door and her friend happened to see it and they were like, well, we're not leaving. That snake stayed there for like an hour and a half. Just curled around the door handle? Trapped in her home for an hour and a half.

• 47:48Tig Notaro?

  That's like a, um, you know, the beginning maybe of a horror film?

• 47:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 47:54Tig Notaro?

  Um, I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to go wide with that pitch.

• 48:00Fortune Feimster?

  I like, um, I like the idea of being on a desert island with a chipmunk because they could get to the places that you can't get to. Like they could get the coconuts from the tree. They could go into little caves and find things for you to eat, hopefully. Thank you for bringing this back full circle.

• 48:19Tig Notaro?

  That's me trying to get out of this episode.

• 48:23Mae Martin?

  No, I would, if it were up to me.

• 48:24Fortune Feimster?

  The chipmunks could go read things that you could not get. This is true.

• 48:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:30Fortune Feimster?

  But yeah, I don't know about this contract that we have to be stuck on a deserted island.

• 48:35Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh. It's funny that Martha said a contract because we have an ongoing joke over the years of anything terrible that happens in life. We're always like, where do I sign?

• 48:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, because we were presented a very bad contract once for to buy a project that we were pitching. And that might be where that started was where do I sign?

• 49:05Mae Martin?

  Because they were like, sign here and you'll have no ownership over it. We'll give you zero dollars.

• 49:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we're gonna go straight into production.

• 49:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:13Tig Notaro?

  Where do I sign?

• 49:14Fortune Feimster?

  Do you think Martha has an answer?

• 49:16Tig Notaro?

  I would say Martha's Alvin.

• 49:18Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 49:18Fortune Feimster?

  Well, let's see what Martha thinks.

• 49:20Tig Notaro?

  Well, she, you know, she likes to have a good time.

• 49:23Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, she seems like she'd be a little mischievous.

• 49:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, have some laughs.

• 49:27Mae Martin?

  I'm, but I'm just thinking, not in terms of company, in terms of survival. You want the smartest, unless you're gonna cook and eat the chipmunk.

• 49:36Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 49:37Tig Notaro?

  Well, see, I have to laugh and have a good time in order to survive.

• 49:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 49:42Tig Notaro?

  That's gonna keep me going is to have that kind of joy in my heart.

• 49:47Fortune Feimster?

  I just feel like Alvin wouldn't really want to contribute to the like duties.

• 49:52Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 49:53Fortune Feimster?

  That's my concern. When they're so fun, they usually have gotten by on their personality and they haven't had to do anything.

• 50:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but they can come up with ways to, um, they're thinking outside of the box.

• 50:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 50:08Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Let's hear what Martha has to say.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  And then should I do my answer? Yes. Um, so I'm also, I paid to be kidnapped to go on a desert island and I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the chipmunks. Um, but Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time. And so, um, I can't, I actually can't wait to go and spend time with him.

• 50:43Tig Notaro?

  Okay, I just found out through this video that Martha is no longer vegan.

• 50:52Tig Notaro?

  She had called me to help her start her vegan diet.

• 50:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 50:57Tig Notaro?

  And it seems like maybe she's um.

• 51:00Fortune Feimster?

  I think she's.

• 51:01Mae Martin?

  Off the wagon, yeah.

• 51:02Tig Notaro?

  She's even, she's off the potato wagon too, apparently.

• 51:06Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's a difficult one to maintain.

• 51:08Tig Notaro?

  Uh, it sure was. Try going on tour with somebody who needs a potato for every meal.

• 51:13Fortune Feimster?

  That would be, that would be um, very tough to accommodate. I'd be like, you're not getting a potato today.

• 51:21Mae Martin?

  I can't think of any nutritional reason why that would be advised as a diet, but just potatoes.

• 51:28Tig Notaro?

  You, you don't ask any questions. Martha's got a new um, diet she's trying. You just get on board and you spend your time on tour looking for that potato.

• 51:40Tig Notaro?

  Well, and if she does Theodore, then somebody's chosen everybody at this point, right?

• 51:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 51:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 51:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 51:47Mae Martin?

  It's like. Simon's got to choose between me and Fortune.

• 51:50Fortune Feimster?

  That's right, or we're all stuck together.

• 51:52Mae Martin?

  Oh, great.

• 51:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my gosh. Who is Simon gonna choose?

• 51:56Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 51:57Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know, probably May. Cause May has, May's watched all the Survivor and probably has picked up a few.

• 52:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but you've watched all the Alvin and the, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

• 52:08Fortune Feimster?

  And culture. And I did go to the zoo.

• 52:12Mae Martin?

  Uh, yeah, that's true.

• 52:13Tig Notaro?

  That's true.

• 52:14Mae Martin?

  I'm allergic to coconuts, which will.

• 52:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's gonna be hard because we will rely on coconuts and its water.

• 52:21Mae Martin?

  This is why I couldn't play Survivor, because they survive off coconut. That's the only reason that I wouldn't.

• 52:27Fortune Feimster?

  The only reason.

• 52:29Tig Notaro?

  Uh, coconut is between you and Survivor.

• 52:32Mae Martin?

  Me and a million bucks.

• 52:34Fortune Feimster?

  Being a part of Survivor would be my literal nightmare. Me being on that show would be like, what did I do wrong? How did I get punished in order to be here?

• 52:43Mae Martin?

  Crazy that Mike White went back, season 50, he played for the second time and he was literally-

• 52:48Tig Notaro?

  Season 50?

• 52:49Mae Martin?

  Yes, thank you. That's a huge deal.

• 52:52Fortune Feimster?

  Anniversary.

• 52:53Mae Martin?

  Season 50.

• 52:54Tig Notaro?

  I think you mentioned that.

• 52:56Mae Martin?

  So Mike White, who he was writing White Lotus and went back and did it. Not great.

• 53:02Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 53:03Mae Martin?

  He didn't make it to the jury, but I think there was a big target on his back, you know?

• 53:06Tig Notaro?

  Do celebrities typically go on Survivor?

• 53:09Mae Martin?

  No, I think he is the only celebrity. Well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck became a celebrity after playing. But no, no one-

• 53:17Tig Notaro?

  Is she still a celebrity?

• 53:18Mae Martin?

  She's sort of-

• 53:19Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know where she went, kinda went. Is she still journal-

• 53:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, she kinda disappeared.

• 53:22Fortune Feimster?

  Like doing journalism stuff?

• 53:24Mae Martin?

  Like presenter.

• 53:25Fortune Feimster?

  Or interviewing stuff?

• 53:26Mae Martin?

  But they should do a celebrity season of, um, if, I would respect anyone who would be that exposed. Like to, you have no control over the edit, you got no makeup, you're, you're true person-

• 53:38Fortune Feimster?

  No makeup.

• 53:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god. I am out.

• 53:44Mae Martin?

  That would be a big deal for me. No clear mascara?

• 53:46Fortune Feimster?

  Oh no, I may.

• 53:48Mae Martin?

  No lip taint?

• 53:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you can't, you can't be on an island, uh, without your face on.

• 53:56Fortune Feimster?

  I don't have any lip taint.

• 53:59Mae Martin?

  But I know like, uh, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are big fans. Like, I'd love to see them play or, um-

• 54:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, to see their dynamic.

• 54:10Mae Martin?

  That would be great, yeah.

• 54:12Fortune Feimster?

  Well, lovely. Well, I mean, that's the thing about this podcast, you never know what we're gonna end up talking about because we never know what people are gonna ask us.

• 54:21Tig Notaro?

  We had no idea Martha Kelly was gonna ask us about Alvin and the Chipmunks. We did not see that coming, but now that it's happened, it makes sense.

• 54:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, now I'm glad about it.

• 54:33Tig Notaro?

  It makes sense. Um, well, um, wonderful to see you, friends.

• 54:38Mae Martin?

  Wonderful to see you, Tig.

• 54:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 54:40Mae Martin?

  Fortune have the best time in Europe. Thank you.

• 54:44Tig Notaro?

  If anybody cares, I will be doing some shows in Los Angeles. Um, I'm also going to be in Rochester, Colorado Springs, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia.

• 55:00Tig Notaro?

  The road goes on forever. Please come out and say hello right to my face from your seat, but don't say it actually from your seat. You know, let me do my show.

• 55:13Mae Martin?

  Right. If anyone wants to make a little road trip, um, wouldn't it be fun if we just went nuts and sold out these festivals? I'm doing, playing music at the Hillside Festival in Guelph on the 17th of July and on the 19th, I'm in Yellowknife, uh, doing a music festival. And then I'm going to be at Just for Laughs in Montreal right after that. But oh my God, how cool if, if a bunch of people just showed up in Yellowknife. That would be great.

• 55:39Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, got to.

• 55:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's true. Um, I just have a few shows, uh, June 18th and 19th, Portland, Maine and Detroit, Michigan, June 20th, and then Red Bank, New Jersey, August 8th. Um, and that's it until I figure out the rest of my tour. But also, uh, coming up, uh, my show that I did with Will Ferrell, um, is going to be airing on Netflix in a couple of weeks called.

• 56:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Guys, also, we have new merch for Pride Month.

• 56:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 56:09Mae Martin?

  Handsomepod.com. We've got a tie dye t-shirt, a bandana, a new hat and a tank top, and they're good.

• 56:16Fortune Feimster?

  They're real fun. This is a good.

• 56:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, they're really good.

• 56:19Fortune Feimster?

  We got some good stuff.

• 56:20Mae Martin?

  And don't forget to watch us on Hulu one day early.

• 56:23Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast. Make sure you subscribe, rate, review, send your favorite episodes to your loved ones. Help us build this handsome community. And until next time. Keep it handsome.

• 56:40Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 57:01Speaker 06

  That was a HeadGum Podcast. What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 57:05Speaker 07

  And Hannah Simone.

• 57:06Speaker 06

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dogged.

• 57:28Speaker 07

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 57:40Speaker 06

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 57:52Speaker 07

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.