#189 - Johnny Pemberton

Johnny Pemberton joins the pod to discuss his new movie “Mermaid” out now on VOD, aging out of twinkdom, some of the most terrible things that have happened to him, missing an intestine, how AI could have changed the course of history, terrible business signs, being a Minnesota boy, and much more. Johnny and Stav help callers including a woman wondering if it’s weird to meet up with a gamer she played Xbox with and had a crush on in her youth even though they’re both in relationships, and a guy whose buddy’s wife infiltrated the group chat to get some dirt on the boys. Watch Johnny Pemberton’s new movie “Mermaid” out now on VOD! See Johnny Pemberton live and follow him on social media: https://www.johnnypemberton.dog/ https://www.instagram.com/johnny_pemberton https://www.youtube.com/justmynipples https://www.tiktok.com/@johnny_pemberton Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Chubbies - Get 20% off with code STAVVY at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/stavvy ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 0:25Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit SiriusXM.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.

• 0:44Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call the Stavi's World hotline presented by Visible and we'll solve all your problems. We're here on a beautiful, beautiful summer day in Manhattan. And we've got first timer Johnny Pemberton on the couch. What's up, Johnny?

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm first timer.

• 1:04Stavros Halkias?

  First timer Johnny Pemberton's on the couch.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Long time timer, first time dipper.

• 1:10Stavros Halkias?

  We love when you dip for the first time.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Nothing beats the first dip.

• 1:13Stavros Halkias?

  And people don't know, but we do have a Home Depot bucket full of nacho cheese you have to dip your nuts into before you do the podcast.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Before, but haven't you already started?

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  You haven't dipped? You didn't dip your nuts in the nacho cheese bucket?

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Oh, I was, I did, I did it, but I didn't.

• 1:28Stavros Halkias?

  You just did it for fun. You didn't know that was a part of it.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  I did it for me, but now, now that I know it's okay, it's like, okay. I thought I was fucking with you by doing that.

• 1:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, I would have been pissed if you didn't dip your nuts.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  I was gonna show you my orange nuts after the podcast where you showed that I had like, look what I did, I did it in the, I did it in the cheese.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  And you would have showed us and we were like, yeah, I mean, that's what you do.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  I would have been very disappointed.

• 1:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's all right. I'm glad we got that, you know, we got that. So he has dipped his nuts in the nacho cheese Home Depot bucket. And don't bring a Lowe's bucket. Don't do it.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  I don't know what that is. Is that like, isn't that a casino?

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  Lowe's is.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Casino, right?

• 2:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? I guess there's Lowe's that it's a movie. Well, the one I'm thinking of is a competitor Home Depot.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  There's a hotel.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  There's a hotel. Maybe there's a casino. And there is, that's a type of movie theater, isn't it?

• 2:16Speaker 02

  I think so. Maybe it was. I feel like all theaters are done now.

• 2:20Stavros Halkias?

  Little producing for fuck's sake, you motherfucker. Fresh off, fresh off this, this guy just got back from a vacation.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Where'd you vacay?

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Hey, doesn't count as a vacation if you have to go for a wedding.

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. It counts when you completely ruin our schedule. I was on a movie for a month. Did he go then? No. He went when I was, he went when I was.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  Wedding was locked, man.

• 2:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Decide when this wedding is.

• 2:42Stavros Halkias?

  Did you go on a, what, when was the wedding? Before? Was the wedding, did the wedding just happen? Did the wedding happen at the beginning of the trip?

• 2:48Speaker 03

  It was this weekend.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  You guys want me to leave?

• 2:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, Johnny's safe. Adjudicate this.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  I've got my cheese out there. I got a fresh coffee. I'm good.

• 3:01Stavros Halkias?

  We do have a nice snack setup. Uh, we, okay, we have, we've been bragging about being in a new studio, but nothing has changed visually to the listener.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, to me, I don't know. It looks like.

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  There will be changes at some point, but the outside, every room outside of this is nice. We got, the snacks are pretty nice out there.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  It's nice and cool, too.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Nice and cool here.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Some places are hot and you're like, this is offensive.

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  We are working on that. Uh, we, when's our AC renovation happening, elders? Do you know?

• 3:29Speaker 03

  I'm waiting for a response still from this woman.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  But it is cool. It is very cool.

• 3:34Stavros Halkias?

  It'll, outside is nice and cold. In here, we still need to get a little frigid. You're not a fat guy. That's the thing. You got, you're, you're, you're a slight man.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm pretty, I have, I have like, if I took my shirt off, you'd be a little disappointed.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm not saying you're hot. I'm just saying you're not fat.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  I wasn't taking that. I did not think that. Believe me, I know, I wasn't confused about that at all.

• 3:54Stavros Halkias?

  I can see you got some little titties probably, you know what I mean? Maybe a little paunch. Nothing wrong with that.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  A little paunson.

• 3:59Stavros Halkias?

  A little paunson.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  A little paunson. But the paunson, I don't mind having a little paunson.

• 4:03Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Remember that dad bod shit they were trying to sell us years ago?

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  I fuck, that's, that's like a psyop.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  It, I think the thing, you know, I, as somebody who, uh, I think the dad bod thing was purely just another, it's just repackaging of how much easier it is to be a man. Like every third years, there's a whole thing of like, you know. And now I do think there's a little bit to it because you see all these like looks maxing guys or you see like a really jacked guy. And women straight up don't wanna really fuck those guys. Some women do.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  I don't think anybody wants to even be near those guys. They're scary.

• 4:40Stavros Halkias?

  Gay guys wanna fuck them.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, but even then, it's like, that's like part of the trade.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  They're like just in and out. They're not living with, no one's living with Klevik Yeller.

• 4:49Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, I bet, you know, I bet Peter Thiel would love to have him chained up and like, you know, have him in the twink cage.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Have like a fucking orangutan in there that they just fight occasionally. Like rips off a cheek.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. I bet you that would be like a nice coup, cuz I'm, I'm assuming Peter Thiel's like, Twinks are now anonymous that he can throw off a balcony whenever he wants. It would make, I wonder if it's a little more juice if you get a famous sex slave you try and groom.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  Johnny, look, we just talked about, you got the little two, you're not his guy.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I'm twink, I'm almost aging out of the twink thing. I mean, I think I have aged out of it.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  But that was the thing, I learned about that in LA when I first, my first job, like maybe the first few weeks I was there, there was a guy who worked there, he was a gay, gay man. And he said that word to me and I was like, what's, what's a twink?

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  And I was like, oh shit, I have currency.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  I have fucking, I've got some, I've got some leverage on this guy.

• 5:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when you first moved?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz I looked like, I mean, I looked like I was someone's.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  This is what, forty, fifty years ago?

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, this was about, this was, uh, nineteen seventy-four and, uh, it was right when, it was right when Daryl Zanuck had just died and they were restructuring the department and they needed someone to come in and, you know, find a way to make these movies. These talkies, they just weren't working.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  But.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, we're talking, what? You moved to LA probably, what, like, what are we talking?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Two thousand and six, two thousand and five, yeah.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  So, a smooth twenty years ago.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, twenty years ago. It's so weird to say that word.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Because now when I talk about stuff, like, I used to have, like, a reference, like, oh, this was ten years ago. And now I'm just, I say, oh, that was a long time ago.

• 6:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Because I don't even know, because also the pandemic just soaked up all that time where...

• 6:36Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Was it three years? Was it, you know, you didn't see somebody for maybe four or five years, and the next thing you know, like, oh, I don't...

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they're married.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  They're married.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  Shit, shit did get really crazy, because it didn't feel, in some ways, with certain people, it's like you didn't miss a beat. Everything's exactly the same. Maybe they have a different haircut. For example, I did grow... The pandemic is the reason I grew my hair out, which, thank God. And I think we can all agree it was worth it. Because I never would have the courage to try bald, long hair.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  That's a courage thing?

• 7:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, courage, dude.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  But I mean, you have a lot of predecessors.

• 7:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'm lion-hearted.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  You got Steven Wright, is the...

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Who else? The guy, that guy who's really tall, who talks like this in movies, you know, they're really... He's like a character actor. He looks scary.

• 7:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not, it's not, I'm not getting somebody right now.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  Because it did feel like you were just saying Steven Wright again.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  It's honestly, he's like a really big guy. This is one of those things where, you know, forty-five minutes later, you know, he, he, yeah. He was in one of the Bond movies.

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  He was wearing a blue shirt in something.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  He had that line where he'd say, dooby dooby, but it was different. It sounded like a sound. But he was really scary to, uh, what's her name? Not Diane Keaton, but she looks like Diane Keaton. She's still alive. I think it's, uh, not Diane Lane. Is she still alive? She's beautiful, by the way.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  And then, no, let's not forget the movie Where She Cucks.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  You serious?

• 8:00Stavros Halkias?

  Richard Gere. Isn't that Diane Lane?

• 8:02Speaker 02

  I don't know. What movie is that?

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Eldis, that feels like an Eldis classic. You love movies for women.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Was it called Unfaithful or something?

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  Unfaithful, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Ooh, I don't even know about this.

• 8:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good one. Richard Gere gets cut.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  That movie's awesome.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Richard Gere gets cut big time. I know it. That's one of those classics you find it as a teenager because a hot actress is getting fucked in it.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  And you jack off to it when you're fourteen, and then you watch, and you're like, hey, this is a pretty good movie.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  I've never even heard of that movie. Unfaithful, it's actually good.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  I I think it's good, yeah.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  It's like seventies or eighties?

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Nineties and maybe even?

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Nineties?

• 8:38Stavros Halkias?

  Eighties?

• 8:38Speaker 03

  It was it was two thousands, I believe.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  So this is not old at all. This is not like.

• 8:44Stavros Halkias?

  Early two thousands. So that's, yeah, maybe that's a, that's, you know, I caught it fresh when it was on Mr. Skin. You know?

• 8:51Speaker 02

  All right, Mr. Skin.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'm slightly younger than you, so.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:53Stavros Halkias?

  Just that, that little change is in, just that little window is enough, you know?

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Trying to remember that. Uh, when was Perfect Storm?

• 9:01Stavros Halkias?

  Perfect Storm, that was in, no, that was.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  No way.

• 9:04Stavros Halkias?

  Two thousands, too.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Oh, that was two thousand.

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  So is this after Perfect Storm?

• 9:08Stavros Halkias?

  After Perfect Storm.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  That's how I asked my life.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  The great dividing line in Hollywood.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 9:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's in pre or post the Perfect Storm?

• 9:15Speaker 03

  This is a bedrock moment.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, it's like.

• 9:17Stavros Halkias?

  APS or BPS?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  That movie is studded. It's like got everybody in it. Everyone's like all these beautiful people who would never set foot.

• 9:27Stavros Halkias?

  Never be boaters.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  In the state.

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  You never even go in that. Is it Boston or is it?

• 9:33Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's some, some New England bullshit. Yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  God, it's all the, even like, well, even like William Fickner, like young William Fickner, that guy was hot.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep. He was, you you know, that is, and you got to be hot in different ways.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of circling back to the bald hair thing.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:50Stavros Halkias?

  There was, now, look, I'm not going for.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Hot bald?

• 9:54Stavros Halkias?

  Bald. I'm going for a very specific thing. Uh, but there is, I feel like in the, in the seventies and days, you could be just straight up balding and be a. And that kind of goes back to the dad bod thing, right? It's like, it's just so much easier to be considered a sexy man. Compared to a woman, which like, and I think that's what the, I do believe that is what the, all the dad bod shit was and, and then guys, and then. This would happen, we're just straight up fat guys would be like, yeah, dad bod's like, guys, they're not talking about us.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fine.

• 10:22Stavros Halkias?

  They're talking about a guy who can bench press a lot, but has a layer of, a thin layer of, of fat over his like nice muscles.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Talking about the dad at the baseball game who catches the ball while holding the baby. And has the beer, like that shit. That's the dad bod.

• 10:36Stavros Halkias?

  And you know what? I think dad had a lot to do with it because psychologically it's like. Someone who is in their child's life, a man they can depend on.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:45Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 10:45Speaker 02

  A dad who's there.

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Who's there. I think it was really, it's really crazy. It's like, I, I really just want, we need to figure out like a seminar or something, Elvis. Like, I want to speak to incels directly.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  Because it actually is the easiest it's ever been to be a good guy.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  It's so easy.

• 11:02Stavros Halkias?

  Stand apart so easy by just like, sort of being kind.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Just do anything. Just do anything. Have one hobby.

• 11:08Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Have like, one thing, like, you don't have to play the guitar, just have, so have a guitar.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be a guitar collector, that's something.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  That incel thing is so, because to me, when I was, you know, before I got laid, which was not, I did not get laid in high school.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Like, so I was an incel then.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. You were probably a slight little boy.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  I was a fucking.

• 11:27Stavros Halkias?

  You had little bird bones.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  I was a little lady. I was a little, I wasn't even a lady. I was like a, like a girl.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  I bet you were really, a really cute child.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  I guess so.

• 11:36Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you have like this twinkle in your eyes that does not match with your current body. You have a sense of wonderment.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  I'm done. I'm done. Jesus Christ.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  I don't have the twinkle. I just have the fucked up body. I'd love, I'd love twinkle eyes.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  The twink.

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the twink is dead, but the twinkle's alive and well in your eyes.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that idea, something like that. But you remember, just like you try to get laid.

• 12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Like the fact they have a name for it.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  It's like, guys, don't have a fucking name for it.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Why are you telling people?

• 12:07Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Don't tell anybody until you get it done. Then you tell people, hey, guys, I was a virgin.

• 12:12Stavros Halkias?

  I used to be, yes, that's true. That is true. That's, that's really what, you're right, because when we were growing up, the, the, the fear was being a virgin forever.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  But once you got pussy once, you're like, great. I'll go, I'll go six years without getting pussy. I'm not a virgin. You know what I mean? It's, it's this thing of like, go ahead.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  I was saying, you did it.

• 12:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's, yeah, it's just this thing of like, I don't know. It's like, maybe these guys need to, maybe they are virgins. I don't, I don't know. But either way. You know.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Well, I guess it doesn't mean that, right? It could mean involuntary celibate, so they could have had.

• 12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Voluntary celibate.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Right. But it seems like once you figure out how to pick the lock once, you're gonna.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  You should be, yeah.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, the locks changes a bit.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's like everything else. You used to be able to buy something. Now everything is subscription service.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  Even getting pussy, it's like you have to renew every month, or else you're a loser. It's like, that's not how it used to be, man. You used to be able to get pussy four times a year and talk about it with your boys. And that, you know, obviously it would run out of steam eventually. And then you get in a relationship and, you know, all this kind of thing. But it is, I don't know. I wonder. Anyway, we gotta, we gotta go fucking town to town, barnstorming, getting the incels together.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  I would love to do that, actually, because I really feel like they just need to have someone slap them in the face.

• 13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  And just like, stop, just do something.

• 13:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Do anything at all.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Just be nice, smile, take a shower.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Have you ever, hey, bro, have you ever tried?

• 13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Like, just try. Try really hard. There's so many ugly dudes who like.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  I, yeah, I, I think part of it too is like, no one's rewarded with, like, it actually, they are right in that everything in society is harder now. Like, when you try and, like, everything but interpersonal relationships, right? Like, like, actually even interpersonal relationships, because most people don't live in, like, cool city, walkable cities where people are mingling. A lot of people are in like a fucking, you know, in some shitty suburb where they can't, where they can't, you know, connect to people. But I think, like, it is harder to fucking get a good job. It is harder to like, do anything. And I think if you just feel like a loser in every sense, you think, well, if I can't get these things done, how am I gonna get, you know, affection from a woman?

• 14:23Stavros Halkias?

  And they've thought that it's all, it's all transaction based, when the reality is.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  You just have to be cool.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  But like, yeah, that, that's the only thing you don't need any of that shit for. If you're cool, like, human love is like a thing even fucking cavemen were up to.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  There's women who date, like, basically homeless guys.

• 14:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Ah, just, he's so cool.

• 14:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  He's so funny, you know? That was the thing, like, being a comedian. I, I used to be in a band.

• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  That was the whole point of being in a band was like.

• 14:52Stavros Halkias?

  The whole point.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Like maybe, maybe, just maybe.

• 14:58Stavros Halkias?

  The amount of effort you put into it just to maybe, and what kind of, what style band are we talking here?

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Uh, for a while it was like just Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins covers.

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Then I would play like a jazz trio for all high school and stuff. But that also, that gets you like, you know, divorcees wanna, wanna talk to you.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  It definitely was not, no. There was nothing.

• 15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Transitioning to jazz trio in high school is a really funny move.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  It was, it was fun, I loved it, but it definitely was not.

• 15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Did you keep playing music afterwards or no?

• 15:30Speaker 02

  A little bit, it's just hard to have a band because you have to like, you know, deal with the flakiest people on earth.

• 15:36Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  And, uh, I just wasn't that, it was good, but one of my good friends was so good. He went to music school, I'm like, well, if you don't go to a music school, then it just becomes a hobby.

• 15:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  I still have my bass and stuff, I played drums a little bit with like a band. But, you know, it's just like.

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  You just wanna do that shit to feel cool. I feel like a high school kid, like I tried to learn guitar, couldn't do it. Fingers too stubby, sausage fingers too fat.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:00Stavros Halkias?

  I should have gotten a little guitar.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Like a violin.

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Like a wide violin.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Or a fiddle, get a fiddle.

• 16:08Stavros Halkias?

  Fiddle's not bad.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  That would probably get some, yeah, get some pussy with a fiddle.

• 16:11Stavros Halkias?

  I can't, I can't play anything, I have no musical acumen whatsoever, and I wish, music is so much better than comedy, it's not even close. It's not even fucking close.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  It's so not even close at all.

• 16:21Stavros Halkias?

  It's so pri, like you could just, you could go just into a completely different country and sell out a fucking arena.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  That's what I'm so jealous for, all those guys, they can all go to Japan.

• 16:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  You can play tons of dates in Japan.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Except Elvis, Colonel Tom, never let him go to fucking Japan, right, something like, yeah. Yeah, you're the fucking Colonel Tom historian dude, you should know.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Who's Colonel Tom?

• 16:43Stavros Halkias?

  He's the, the fat German that Tom Hanks played in the Bosnian Elvis movie.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Didn't see it.

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty good.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 16:50Stavros Halkias?

  It honestly.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  I don't like Elvis, I can't stand Elvis.

• 16:53Stavros Halkias?

  Can't stand Elvis.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  I mean, I just really can't, I mean, it took, yeah.

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Why, where does the disdain for Elvis start?

• 17:00Speaker 02

  Just his music, I feel like, it feels like, I don't know, it's just all, it's like, you know that music where it's like,

• 17:12Speaker 02

  It's like a, like a 1950s nightmare or something like that, where you.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  I can't stand it.

• 17:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting. I was a big Elvis. As a baby, I liked Elvis.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  See, that makes sense.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  As like a little kid.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  It's baby music.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  It kinda, I kinda know what you're talking about. That's when the minds of the American populace were simpler and docile, you know? You didn't have to think too much. You knew President Eisenhower had your back.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and yeah, did a couple, did we have to round up a couple Japanese Americans and put them in a camp?

• 17:44Speaker 02

  What happened? Are you serious? What was that?

• 17:47Stavros Halkias?

  But the, but the president wouldn't do anything wrong.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  No, he was squeaky clean. He was Ike.

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  He's the president. And I, I don't mean, that was FDR, I know.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 17:56Stavros Halkias?

  Every Republican get off my dick saying, oh, your socialist president put Japanese, shut up. Yeah, the point stands, okay? Shout out to FDR, except for that. That I don't fuck with FDR. Getting pussy from many mistresses and dying in the hot beds or the hot.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  That's like every president, though, isn't it?

• 18:13Stavros Halkias?

  He died at the hot springs? Nah. Just the good, honestly, the cool ones. Except Clinton. Clinton was kind of a piece of shit, but Kennedy and FDR.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  Kind, pretty cool.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Do you think FDR was on lots of drugs and stuff?

• 18:25Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's a great question.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  JFK was definitely on.

• 18:27Stavros Halkias?

  JFK was.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Tons of speed.

• 18:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he was, he was, he was honestly getting some speedballs going.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 18:33Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he had a bad back, so I'm sure he had some kind of weird.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Well, bad back.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  Pain.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Everybody who takes drugs has a bad back. Like, didn't Cobain have a, had a bad back?

• 18:43Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  He had some sort of a pain thing, which is like, it's like the ultimate way to, like, oh.

• 18:48Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I know.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  I gotta take my medicine now. Oh, man, my medicine.

• 18:52Stavros Halkias?

  I have to. Dude, you know, I threw my back out this year and it, and I was just like, I cannot start taking pills.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  No, it's so, it's fucking bad.

• 19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Would fuck me up. Instead, I started doing, I mean.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Steroids?

• 19:03Stavros Halkias?

  No, a little bit. Yeah, I have a cortisone shot in my back.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  That's great, though.

• 19:08Stavros Halkias?

  It is good, but you can't do it forever. But what I was doing as a painkiller was straight up 100mg of edibles. So I was like.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Oh, man, I think that's anti-pain for me.

• 19:17Stavros Halkias?

  It were, it worked, but my brain was mush and I had this, and even right now, I'm like. But I slept so, I slept like fourteen hours every day.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  I can't, if I take this, I cannot sleep.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Like weed makes me like, I have to take like a sleeping pill. If I have, if I have too much weed, I can't, I cannot fucking sleep. It's just like fucking.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  It's like little elves. Just marching and dancing like, hey, it's time for the show, time for the show. I'm like, fucking, it's three o'clock in the fucking morning.

• 19:45Stavros Halkias?

  Is there a specific anxiety that gets to you with, when you're?

• 19:49Speaker 02

  It's not even anxiety, it's just, uh, my, my mind is just going. It's like chugging. I think that's like a fundamental difference between two people is if, does weed make you sleepy? Does weed like wake you up?

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, hmm, interesting. Yeah, I'm a sleepy, I'm definitely a sleepy guy. Although I had a little weed, I'm, here's how much, I, I like, I now know each, each week I gain more knowledge about weed.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Really?

• 20:12Stavros Halkias?

  And like now I know which edibles make me nervous. Like I know the brands, I know like which brands, which whatever. One really fucked me up, yes, like three days ago, I tried to sleep and that happened to me. And it was actually brutal because I was just thinking like, fuck dude, you fucking suck. It was, it was just the most negative shit. And usually I'm just in a blissful, like it's usually I like, I would take it when I was depressed and I wanted to just fast forward a couple of days.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Really?

• 20:38Stavros Halkias?

  Because I would get so fucked up.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Man, I wish I could do that.

• 20:41Stavros Halkias?

  It was fun, until it goes into that, it hits that anxiety vein and it was like, and it just makes you think things that you know logically you don't believe.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  They're not true at all.

• 20:52Stavros Halkias?

  They're not true at all. It's like it, it was shit talking me, my friends, like just the fact that it got to like my friends was crazy. It's like, why is my brain shitting on my friends right now?

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Why did you choose that guy?

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  And I was just like fucking, and then, and then I have to just like scroll or listen to a podcast and just put my mind, I couldn't even, I can't even read when I'm that kind of, that kind of high.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Do, uh, you look at TikTok at all?

• 21:19Stavros Halkias?

  I, right now, I'm really-

• 21:21Speaker 02

  That's a no, right?

• 21:22Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, I don't do TikTok, but I mean Instagram reels is the exact same fucking thing.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  I feel like it's not. I feel like TikTok is different. TikTok is like a deeper, more addictive thing. Or, cause like Instagram reels is basically, at least for me, it's like, this is trash.

• 21:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  You know, something about TikTok, man, it's so addictive. I can't, I hate it. I fucking hate it.

• 21:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I, I have to fucking, I have to just like, we need to hire another, we need a different friend of ours to just hold my phone so I never have to look at it. I need to just hire someone to just like, r- read me. I wanna go Nolan mode where Christopher Nolan says he doesn't have a flip phone, but it's like-

• 21:58Speaker 02

  He has a flip phone or doesn't?

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I'm sorry, he does have a flip phone. He's never had, he's never used email, he's never, uh, he's never had a smartphone. It's like, but somebody's doing that for you.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, someone's doing it. It's like saying, I don't tie my shoes or something. Well, they're tied, so.

• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm sure that's good for it. Like, definitely that's helped him be that, and, you know, one of the generational filmmaker. And, but he is pushing it off someone. And what I'm saying is, I'd like to push that off to someone. I'd like to make someone have to fucking answer my email. Cause my brain has been, the last couple of days has been kinda mush, but we're getting it back. We'll get, we'll get back in there. I mean, by the time people are hearing this, you know what? I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna stop actually talking about what's happening in the future. Cause we did a couple of episodes where I was like, and by now the special's done, and then I broke my arm.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  You call it out.

• 22:47Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm not saying that we're about to shoot the special. We're not, you know, but when people are hearing this, who fucking knows? I'm not even gonna, I'm not gonna start talking about the future, but-

• 22:56Speaker 02

  There might be some planes coming for us right now.

• 22:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. There could be a-

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Some really low planes.

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  Some really low planes, really good pilots with making really poor choices about what kinda terrorism to do. Cause taking out the Stabby Baby Enterprises global headquarters, that is not what I would target if I was trying to destabilize New York personally, but who knows?

• 23:17Speaker 02

  What would you target?

• 23:18Stavros Halkias?

  I don't wanna say.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  You don't wanna say that, huh? You don't wanna say-

• 23:21Stavros Halkias?

  I don't wanna have Plan 9/11 2.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  That would be crazy if we did have a second one. It was called, it keeps going like, yeah, we can't help, it's 9/11 2.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  What if they, what if they did it on 9/12?

• 23:34Speaker 02

  That would be very, um-

• 23:36Stavros Halkias?

  That would be convenient for the like, the like, you know-

• 23:39Speaker 02

  They don't have a guy now who can do that. Like Bin Laden was the guy. They're like-

• 23:44Stavros Halkias?

  You think there's a dearth of terrorist talent out there right now?

• 23:47Speaker 02

  They're scrambling right now.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  We're in a, we're in a, we're in a low, we're in a fallow period for terrorism.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  It's like the QB room on like the worst football, not even bad football.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a bad draft.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, yeah. The, the Jamarcus Russell draft.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Like the Bears five years ago.

• 24:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  He was the number one pick, but he can't throw.

• 24:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we got the Mitch Trubisky of Osama bin Laden's right now.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Like the Vikings before K O C.

• 24:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 25:26Stavros Halkias?

  Are you, you're from?

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Minnesota.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Minnesota.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Well, so I grew up at least, yeah.

• 25:29Stavros Halkias?

  You grew up there, okay?

• 25:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:31Stavros Halkias?

  Where you, where, uh, I honestly, sick place.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  I think it's great. It's great, you know? It's very cold.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's tough.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  And it's also, I don't know. I like it a lot. I do like going back there, but I would never.

• 25:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's the.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Living there is different.

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Have you heard, like, it's like the number one, not number one, but it's like, pretty high up there on the apocalypse rankings?

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Oh, definitely, because it's all the fresh water.

• 25:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, all like the arable land, all the good spaces and stuff.

• 25:58Stavros Halkias?

  I think a lot of motherfuckers are buying, like, rich motherfuckers are buying bunkers.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  It's been bought, all the land along Lake Superior, like, it's all rich people buying it up because it's fresh water and stuff.

• 26:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  I think it's too late.

• 26:11Stavros Halkias?

  Too late for us to pivot?

• 26:13Speaker 02

  We could probably get like, buy a little lake or something like that.

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  I would like to do that. If I get some real money, I want to buy like a compound up there on like some lake, like an hour from Minneapolis, maybe.

• 26:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. Yeah. I've become, I've been a lake skeptic, my.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Really?

• 26:27Stavros Halkias?

  Because I'm a beach guy.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 26:29Stavros Halkias?

  And lakes, yeah, this, this, if you grew up on a lake, you get it. I just think, you know, the big ass lakes are cool, but I just, I hate murky little ass fucking water.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  They're not murky.

• 26:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Bad ones are murky, but when you get a good one, it's like, ooh.

• 26:44Stavros Halkias?

  Alright.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Because it's like, uh, the temperature's warm in the shallows. I don't know, I think, you know what, also, I haven't been in a lake in a while. So this is like memory talking.

• 26:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  I might go to the lake and be like, oh, man, what the fuck is this? This, they, this, they changed this lake.

• 27:02Stavros Halkias?

  They changed, uh, they put dirt in the lake.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, who's putting, uh, do they paint the bottom of this?

• 27:09Stavros Halkias?

  And why is there algae in the lake now?

• 27:11Speaker 02

  But they can be great, though.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  But that's true. I guess that, really what we're talking about is just, everything you think you like, you're just remembering when you were young.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  The best version of it.

• 27:22Stavros Halkias?

  It's just your youth. It's just like, you miss being a little kid on summer vacation, which might be. Is that the best feeling you'll ever get? Is like a great, like, a great summer day on summer vacation when you're a little ass kid?

• 27:39Speaker 02

  You seen like a girl in a bikini who like, oh.

• 27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Like, you didn't know that was going on?

• 27:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's just the beginnings of getting horny because you don't have the ugliness of when it takes over your life.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  And it turns you into Neanderthal.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Like fucking like Dr. Jekyll.

• 27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Is it Mr. Hyde or which is the guy?

• 27:56Stavros Halkias?

  I think Mr. Hyde is the fucked up one.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, the one who just like, you're like a wraith.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Like the, for the ring, but it's, you know.

• 28:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what Mr. Hyde was up to.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  Hyde's the bad one.

• 28:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Cause the doctor can't be bad.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Doctor can't be bad. No doctor's ever done anything bad.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  No?

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  Never, never. There's, there's never a weird news story about a dentist injecting his own jizz in his patients' mouths or whatever. Or like a fertility doctor who like.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're all bad. Like all those guys. It's just crazy. That's another thing like that men don't have to deal with usually.

• 28:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  It's all women. Like, anytime you go down, you have to think like, is this guy, is this guy gonna like, is this super nice guy going to be the worst human alive?

• 28:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  While I'm sleeping?

• 28:41Speaker 02

  It's like, fucking Christ.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  I don't wanna know anything ever again. It's like I know all the bad stuff at this point. I just wanna coast with that.

• 28:50Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  I can dip into once in a while with a, with a nightmare, but now I'm like, I'm kinda filled up with knowing about, oh, that, oh, that happened?

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's horrible. Life is a nightmare.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, no more new atrocities. I just wanna.

• 29:02Stavros Halkias?

  I guess it gets to the point that where you're so numb to atrocities that you're just like, oh yeah, life's bad and hopefully we just have a couple of nice meals, go on a couple of vacations, you know what I mean? Like, you're just trying to get the good, good stuff. See, you know, you know, watch a, watch like a baby walk for the first time. You know what I mean? Like, see some beautiful shit. But even that, sometimes like, my brother just had a kid and some, and I'm like, the kid's, I love him, right? He's, he's the man, my nephew. But sometimes I'm like, you're so fucked.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 29:33Stavros Halkias?

  Life sucks dick.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  I don't know how you could be a parent now.

• 29:38Stavros Halkias?

  For you, cause right now is the best time in your life. Being a baby is so fucking awesome.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Cause I have a niece, it's the same thing. I don't know how. I don't know how you're a parent because you have to like navigate that stuff. How do you tell the kid, don't do this, don't do that?

• 29:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Are you gonna let him see an iPad? Like, you know it's bad.

• 29:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  But also, yeah, fuck that.

• 29:59Stavros Halkias?

  And then that's just the use of, even the stuff in a perfect world, it's like, you will experience heartbreak. You will have, you will have some kind of physical accident. At some point, your body will deteriorate. You know what I mean? There's just like so many elements of life. The ones you love, us right now, these adults that love you and will do anything for you. We're gonna die. We're gonna fucking die. It's gonna be brutal for you.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  So I think about the stuff that I dealt with. I can't believe, like, if my kid told me that stuff, I would like, okay, I can't do anything but think about this thing.

• 30:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  You're experiencing secondhand.

• 30:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Like what? What are some of the most horrible things that have ever happened to you?

• 30:39Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm kidding.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  This camera here?

• 30:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just directly to camera.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you don't have to say that. But actually, I do, because I am a, I'm a fan of the Doughboys podcast. And I did hear one of the most fucked up things of all time that happened to you, which is.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Oh, what was it?

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  Just you don't have a fucking, uh, like intestine or some shit?

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Well, it didn't really happen. It wasn't like an event.

• 31:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  It didn't like, I didn't get nailed down. They took it out like, oh my god!

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was kind of like a long, protracted thing.

• 31:09Stavros Halkias?

  Which might be worse.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  I don't know, I guess so. It's also, I've been dealing with it for so long. It's one of those things where I just, you know, I just know.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's just how your life is.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  Basically, I'm like, if there's a bathroom somewhere, I'm like, that's the bathroom.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  I know where their bathrooms are all the time.

• 31:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  I used to have like a crazy sixth sense for bathrooms, like a thing where.

• 31:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's very useful.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it was crazy. I've, I've impressed people with, okay, uh, that's the bathroom right there.

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Okay, there's a water fountain, so that means there's probably, there's probably pipes there. There's so many steps from that.

• 31:41Stavros Halkias?

  You kind of could be a plumber. You're like half a plumber, just because you've always had to shit your whole life.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  I don't have fixed toilets and shit, because I've clogged so many toilets in people's houses. You gotta learn to fix that fucking toilet.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you gotta have a seminar with Eldis. Eldis, Eldis, how many, how many plungers have you dooredashed in your life, Eldis?

• 31:59Speaker 03

  Oh, I've never dooredashed a plunger, but the first time I came to your apartment, I had to go out that night to buy a plunger.

• 32:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I remember. I remember. You really, you really christened my, my, my new apartment.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Was it a big shit?

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Not really. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I, I always think I'm like kinda reasonable on the paper.

• 32:19Stavros Halkias?

  You're not.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Probably fold too much.

• 32:21Stavros Halkias?

  You've clogged every toilet we've ever shared in our lives.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  You know what I will say? I was just in Amsterdam. I have never clogged a European toilet yet.

• 32:29Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're not allowed to flush paper in Europe.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  They also have bigger holes. Well, they have like really big holes at the bottom?

• 32:37Speaker 03

  I think it is. I think it is a big hole. I think it's like better water pressure too. Like the water in the toilet really gushes out.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I guess it depends where you are. It gets, I don't know. You've never clogged an Albanian toilet? Well, I guess Albanians are just, uh, uh,

• 32:50Speaker 02

  It's like a guy.

• 32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you just dig a hole in the mud.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  We got toilets about 10, 15 years ago.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  You're Albanian?

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  That's cool. That's like the place where, you know, you always try to get people to go there. No one's like, I'm gonna go about five other places first.

• 33:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:07Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I mean, actually, you know what? Shout out to Albania. I respect, they fucking, they were protesting against Jared Kushner.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Oh, right. Yeah.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  The Kushners are trying to steal fucking land from Albania. Those fucking cocksuckers. Shout out to Albania, man. Destroy everything those pieces of shit try and build on your land. We, you know what? The ironic racism towards Albania ends with the caveat, I'm still doing it to elders. But everybody else, I respect you. I love you, Albania. Shout out to you. America could use a little bit of that.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  But they did it, right? They overturned it.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  I think they paused it temporarily at least. I mean, it's probably gonna, you know.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  They did it for real.

• 33:46Stavros Halkias?

  You're up against a lot, but I do think, I mean, that's, unfortunately, we're kind of in an era where evil is winning objectively. And, and like, they know that you can just wait out. You could just wait out.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  You just, you just time them out.

• 34:00Stavros Halkias?

  You just time them out. They have all the resources in the world. So that's what I'm saying. But they don't know what it's like to go against fucking brickheaded Albanians. Respect to you guys. You get something.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  I mean, I mean, you should be afraid of protesting in a country where like barely anyone works. You know, people are ready to go.

• 34:17Stavros Halkias?

  They got time, dude. They're sharpening their sights.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  I also saw this awesome clip of a protester and he was like, he's basically threatening the prime minister's life. He was, he was like, he was like, he was like, I pray that, I pray that God takes mercy on him. And then, and then at the end, he like switches to English with a heavy accent. He's like, fuck you, mother. Fuck you, sister.

• 34:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, that's awesome. He's so eloquent in Albanian, he's like, "May his sins be forgiven. May the evils he's done upon this country be washed away like the rising tide." And then he's like, "We fuck pussy with knife. We put knife in pussy and rip apart."

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Ivanka, you have stick to go into ass out of pussy. You'll be blood from ass will be a mouth for me. You having problem with your nipples be chewed off by, by fish? You will be alive drowning as nipples are eaten by-

• 35:20Stavros Halkias?

  We wrap nipples in worms and have fish nibble at them.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  We cut your hair to be ugly. And now you must go back life as whore. As wasta.

• 35:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh fuck yeah, so shout out to Albania, man, and shout out. Everybody should be reacting, listen, take a look at what they're doing in Albania to the Jared Kushers. Think about doing that to data centers. Is what I'm saying as a joke on this joke podcast.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  It's all a joke, wouldn't it be funny if you like, I don't know, found a way to fire bomb them? That would be funny, like a joke.

• 35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like in a cartoon, if we wrote a cartoon. You do a lot of voiceover work, you have a very distinctive, great voice. Maybe we do a cartoon where you're a data center that's been set on fire. What would that sound like, Johnny?

• 36:09Speaker 02

  It'd probably sound like this, um.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  I froze up.

• 36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, great.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  That's what it would sound like. The one guy who works there. The one job they've created is one guy. It's just Homer Simpson.

• 36:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  It's like a worse than Homer Simpson. God, I've heard guys arguing about those data centers. You ever seen like the guys who are the pro?

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  The guys, you ever listen to Coast to Coast AM?

• 36:40Stavros Halkias?

  I don't fuck with that.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  It's like this old AM radio show that's been around forever. It's like, it used to be about aliens and

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  All kinds of stuff and you know, as with all stuff like that, it's trending to the right.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  And all, everyone gets older.

• 36:52Stavros Halkias?

  Which is a shame, by the way.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  It's such a, it's the biggest shame.

• 36:56Stavros Halkias?

  Conspiracy theories used to be kind of a

• 36:57Speaker 02

  It used to be fun.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  Hippie shit too.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:59Stavros Halkias?

  Like sometimes it was like communist, like, first of all, a lot of left conspiracy theories are just true. It turns out that we are run by pedophiles. You know, it's like, uh, a lot of like, like, or just cap, like the ruling class is trying to kill you. It's just true. Like, it's not really a conspiracy theory. And then, and then, I don't know, I guess like aliens and shit. But it used to, it used to, it used to be non-political, I guess. It used to be an apolitical.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Totally apolitical.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  You were just insane and a fun guy to talk to. But yes, they've been harnessed unfortunately a little bit by the right.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Cause all the, all those people are super paranoid. So a lot of them have had like, you know, very bad stuff happen to them.

• 37:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  So they're so paranoid about stuff. And now they're like, they see these right wing people who are feeding into that paranoia. And so they jump on that. They're like, basically victims of all that, those fucking hucksters.

• 37:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  It sucks. It used to be someone calling up, it was a call-in show. And if you want to hear like a character, man, that show.

• 37:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  There was some lady in like Rhode Island who's calling up saying how, so I have, I have a hundred rabbits, but three of them are able to speak to me. And they've been doing this for a few years now. And the host, George always like, what language do they speak? There's never a question. It's never like, really?

• 38:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  They never doubt at all.

• 38:21Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Someone saying that, that's like a normal thing. There's guys who call up who are fully, super deeply bipolar.

• 38:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Who are saying like, George, I know something's about to happen. Um, I'm the only one who knows.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  It's like, okay.

• 38:36Stavros Halkias?

  Great.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  All those guys now, they're all like, you know.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  So what was going on in the, what were they talking, how did we start talking about this? Was it a, something about, you ever listen to AM?

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Oh, there's like a guy, I was listening to it to fall asleep the other night and there's a guy who's like a pro data center guy interviewing someone.

• 38:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  And he's like got that lobbyist voice, you know?

• 38:56Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Sounds like Sidney Lumet or something was like, don't, no, there's nothing to worry about.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  There's nothing.

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's innovation.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  The jobs we're creating, these are very high paying jobs, hundreds of jobs and actually, no, no, no, those are the old data centers with the diesel.

• 39:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  These are ga- like he says the word gas so fast, you almost can't even hear it.

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  It's fucking, ugh.

• 39:18Stavros Halkias?

  It is, it's just been, it's so clear that all you have to do is just lie.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:23Stavros Halkias?

  And that's always been the truth, but it's like, they used to have to, you used to have to kind of make it seem like, base it in fact, like, I just think about the Iraq war versus the Iran war, where it was like, they fucking, they made Colin Powell, who was like a, you know, decorated war veteran.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  I was a big fan of his too.

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Back in the day.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, back in the day when we're kids, we're like, well, he's, you know, he's a general, we should listen to him.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Norman Schwarzkopf.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  They just made that guy give up so much of his personal credibility to pretend there was WMD, like, there used to be real sacrifices to certain people. Now they're just like, yeah, it's actually, we're just going, we're actually killing people in Venezuela because, ah, they're drug guys.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, they're drug guys, definitely.

• 40:04Stavros Halkias?

  They're drug guys.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  They just keep coming, they just keep coming.

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, you could just do, it's kind of, we're kind of, I, it's crazy to be nostalgic for, hey, um, can we get back to the, when evil Republicans lied to us as if we were smart? For even a second? Now they're like, no, it's fucking, they had a bomb or whatever the fuck.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  They had no shame. It's like they had no shame, like all, you see these clips of C-SPAN or something, where you've got like some Democratic congressperson interviewing like a Republican, whatever the fuck they are. And, uh, they'll be saying all these facts and the guy is just, they don't, there's no shame at all.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's actually not true, which is a good, honestly, it's like a smart, we just have to start playing fucking dirty at this point. I mean, actually, we're just on a such a post-truth society, we're so fucked. And AI is, the one thing AI is gonna be good for is putting, is making a, you know, a Democrat running in a red state that might win, making them seem gay. That's the only thing AI will be good for and just barely fucking taking them down.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  You see that guy who had his, his photo enhanced, looking as all muscular?

• 41:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 41:17Stavros Halkias?

  That was awesome.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  And that's something they can probably just shrug off and say, that was never out there.

• 41:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  They can say it because there's no, you can't verify anything now. Like, I can't even verify shit.

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  About, about myself.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  If someone told me it's AI, but yeah, I guess it's AI.

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  I don't even know.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  I do think the one good thing about it is that I think what they've done, what I'm hopeful is that it will be seen as, it's like the aesthetic for really low class shit. Because like, AI has taken over, you go to a fucking bodega, you go to a food truck, you go to like a laundromat, like, just like, you know, cash businesses that operate on like lower, you know,

• 41:59Speaker 02

  The margins.

• 42:00Stavros Halkias?

  The margins, like,

• 42:02Stavros Halkias?

  it's just guys who like, before that it was a hand drawn sign they drew on a fucking whiteboard, they're like, yeah, fuck it. I can get like a, I can just AI a menu. But like, that will look cheap in a bad way. And so that's all I'm hoping is that eventually how low class it looks, or just how uncreative.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  It does look low class. I gotta show you this sign I saw, uh, yesterday by my hotel, man. This is like, this is the opposite of AI. I want this sign so fucking bad, man. This, I just want this fucking sign, of course.

• 42:34Stavros Halkias?

  And I would like to, and while Johnny's looking, I would like to say, if you use AI, you are a corny bitch. If you use it for anything creative, you're a fucking idiot. That's incredible. It just says, we, I mean, this, yeah, show that, send it.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  Can you see that?

• 42:48Stavros Halkias?

  Text it to me, we'll, we'll pop it in, that's beautiful.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  That is just the greatest sign of all time.

• 42:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's really good.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  That is the anti, anti AI, totally.

• 42:56Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, it's, it's okay to not be creative. That's the other thing. It's like, dude, I don't fucking, if there was like, if there was like a, if there was a thing where I could type in a video and it's like, me, me scoring 20 points in an NBA game. That didn't happen.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  Why am I enjoy, why would I watch that and be like, whoa, that's like these guys being like, look, I get if you want to draw, you can't fucking draw. Figure out the thing that you're good at. You, you want to make movies, great, but you can't fucking do it. You suck dick at it, you're not creative, you're, but I'm sure you're good at other stuff. Why do you want to, it just, it also proves that everybody who's like, art is fucking gay and it doesn't matter. They actually want to, they want to be creative.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, they do.

• 43:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's cool. And now they think they can do computers to do it. And that's just not how this shit works. You're good at fucking computers, go keep stealing money from people. You, you're doing great, you fucking vampires. Why do you also want to be creative? Anyway.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  It's kind of incel.

• 43:51Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Like AI is sort of like, maybe that's the incel route out? Or maybe it's like burrowing in, it's probably burrowing in deeper.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's burrowing in deeper because then.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  I don't need a girlfriend.

• 44:03Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, I'll make, I'll make fucking, I, I have Akiko. My, my double, uh, forty, uh, triple G, uh, Weishun girlfriend that exists on my iPad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, the fit, I, every once in a while, I am, my lizard brain is completely taken over by big bobbling AI titties.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I've never, I've never looked at that.

• 44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  I don't even know what I'm referencing, is it, did I get it right? Did I get it right?

• 44:33Speaker 02

  The physics, the physics are just like captivating, because she goes left and they kind of go.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  The lag, it's all about the lag.

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit, they lag a little bit. In a way that's not real to real life, but is real to the video games you used to beat off to when you were 11 or whatever.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, real enough.

• 44:48Stavros Halkias?

  Real enough.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  The lag.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  D, DOA, uh, Dead or Alive Beach volleyball type shit.

• 44:52Speaker 02

  That's my super specific thing.

• 44:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  I gotta find a perfect lag.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Physics lag, mass lag.

• 44:58Stavros Halkias?

  On them titties.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  I'm a mass lag guy.

• 45:01Stavros Halkias?

  I think, oh, hell yeah, dude, I gotta get the mass to fucking bobble around. I would, I think like, I saw, like, in the World Cup, there's so much, there's so much AI hot girls.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  I haven't watched any.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I just mean like on the internet, they'll just be like, check it out, it's Ger- Germany came.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Germany's hottest chick.

• 45:21Stavros Halkias?

  But it's just like, these are clearly AI girls.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:24Stavros Halkias?

  But for one second, it gets me too, and I'm like, I think if, like, if you go back and think about what technology would be the most useful to take over the world. I mean, probably it's just guns, right? But if you had like a, if you could print out pictures of AI women that look like that and tell like a peasant like, here, man, here's a hundred of these women. If you guys all fight my enemies, you'll get to fuck all of these ladies.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  You could probably.

• 45:52Stavros Halkias?

  I bet you could take, I bet you could become like a, you could become like a landed, you could take over like England in the 1100s or whatever the fuck. Or even, not even that old, maybe like the 19, we'd have, it would have to be the 19 like 10s when photographs were first starting. So people were at least familiar with it. But if you went and, and you know.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  You could clean up big time.

• 46:11Stavros Halkias?

  Clean up big.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  What's that saying? What's the old Arthur C. Clarke saying? Any advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Just go back a little bit.

• 46:21Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  If you have a fucking iPhone, you could probably rule the world and like the.

• 46:24Stavros Halkias?

  I, I don't think that because I don't, I don't know. What would I do if I went back in time with an iPhone? Just show them videos until it fell, until it burned.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, because you have to have bring like a special.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Have to bring a bunch of batteries.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Bring a solar battery charger.

• 46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, a solar charger, but then the second some fucking barbarian.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Smashes it.

• 46:42Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, huh, huh. I guess ultimately it's probably guns. What are we gonna do? Hand out pictures of ladies with big tits?

• 46:52Speaker 02

  That would be the funniest guy to do, just to be like, the guy who thought like tits is what I need. Like you ask the genie, what do you want? Um, I want a thousand pictures of women with big tits.

• 47:03Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, what?

• 47:04Speaker 02

  The genie says, are you sure you want this?

• 47:06Stavros Halkias?

  You should do that at Kinko's, man. Well, I also want to go back in time. I'm gonna use the picture of tits to stop Hitler.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Stopping Hitler.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  With, with, with huge tits.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Give Hitler AI so he can make his shitty art. He never becomes a dictator.

• 47:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  That might actually work.

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  But what if you give him AI and he's like, he just shows everybody pictures of like blonde ladies with huge tits? He's like, this actually is what we're going for.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Flower line?

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, oh, fuck, dude. You know what I mean? Like, that's tough. So I don't know, that could go either way. Either he just stays at home making AI or he becomes even more powerful.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  I mean, he kind of was pretty powerful.

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying, dude. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to make him more powerful.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  As far as you could get. Like it did take like-

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  But what if that pushes him over the edge?

• 47:49Speaker 02

  The two biggest armies in the world, they're like, oof.

• 47:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they had to keep throwing Russians, they had to throw millions of Russians at him. But what if, what if, he's all, what if at D-Day, he unfurls two huge banners with ladies with huge tits?

• 48:04Speaker 02

  And all the, all the American soldiers are like, they're just drooling, getting shot in the head.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  What if Saving Private Ryan started like that? And it's like, they're coming out, and then it's like, whoa dude, look how big those tits are, and then, I don't know, something to think about.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  We would have never gone to the beach.

• 48:19Stavros Halkias?

  Military historians, call in, let us know.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  I forgot about that.

• 48:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  That's exciting.

• 48:25Stavros Halkias?

  It is exciting. The, the, what, what, what did you forget about?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Oh, getting calls.

• 48:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yes, we are gonna do some calls, sorry.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  It's very fun.

• 48:33Stavros Halkias?

  Why don't we go, you know, you forgot about it Johnny, but I didn't forget about the Stavvy's World Hotline, presented by Visible. We're about to take some calls right now and solve some people's lives, aren't we, Eldis? What do we got first, little buddy?

• 48:47Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 49:12Speaker 04

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• 50:02Speaker 05

  Hey Stavi baby, I'm calling to get your advice on how I should proceed or not proceed with the situation. So, I'm in my late twenties and when I was thirteen, fourteen, I used to play a lot of video games on Xbox Live.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 50:20Speaker 05

  So, I've met a few people when I was young, gotten a few online Xbox Live relationships. And in one of those, I've managed to keep up with one person who I've known for quite a while now. We met when we were like thirteen, fourteen and we're both in our late twenties, early thirties.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Thank god you're the same age. I was really, I was really worried.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Like, okay, um, I didn't hear that?

• 50:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  No, I have no knowledge of this.

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  First question, Aldous. Okay, so I'm glad you didn't get groomed over Xbox Live.

• 50:54Speaker 05

  Twenties, early thirties now. So, we are both in committed long-term relationships. But we've also kind of toyed around with the idea of meeting up with each other.

• 51:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hilarious. The bonds of playing Halo in 2013 run very deep for certain people.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Cause the imagination is running wild.

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's, by the way, that's fucking insane. I guess let's, let's hear her out, but you're out of your fucking mind, but let's finish it unless we're missing something.

• 51:24Speaker 05

  Nothing, every time we've talked, it's been platonic, it's been friendly, nothing too flirtatious. But I can understand how it might be weird for his partner and for my partner to be like, "Do you wanna cross the state to go meet some person that you used to talk to on Xbox Live?" Like, that's weird. So, should I even try and do it? Is it too weird? Is it like toeing the line of cheating?

• 51:52Stavros Halkias?

  This is, this is bad.

• 51:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't wanna be daft and pretend like it's not. It could look totally weird, so what do you think? Should I, should I still meet up with this person? How might I present this to them? Um, or should I abandon it entirely? So, thank you so much, I would love to hear your input and I love the show and blah, blah, blah, blah. Bye.

• 52:13Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so at first I thought she was explicitly saying she wanted to have an affair with her friend from Xbox Live. But now it seems like... Now I'm actually kinda sad cuz it feels like she wants a frie- like the second half of this felt like friendship.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Also, why? It doesn't seem like, what's the point?

• 52:32Stavros Halkias?

  I think because of what we were talking about earlier where it's like it's so hard to form connections that like a lot of, like, honestly, people that started, like, I think the Xbox chat rooms and the fucking Playstation and whatever, like, online gaming, was one of the first places we saw, it was almost an accident that it created like online friendships.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:53Stavros Halkias?

  But they were real, like, like before Discord existed, that was kinda the only way you could really talk to someone back in the day. And so I see why, like, if this girl, basically, as long as our caller here has truly innocent, if you really want, there's two questions here. Do you just want a friend? Is that really what this comes down to?

• 53:14Speaker 02

  She did say that, basically, right?

• 53:15Stavros Halkias?

  It sounded like that. And there's, okay, so there's two. So she seems like she wants something platonic, great, nothing wrong there. And look, if you wanted to cheat, we could counsel you on that too. We were basically your defense attorneys. We could've told you how to do it.

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  Not that I necessarily think you should, especially with a guy you met on fucking Xbox Live, you know, 15 years ago or whatever the fuck. But that's one thing, is, is, okay, so you wanted to be platonic, great. The second thing is, uh, do you think he wants it to be plat- my big sticking point here is like, what are his intentions? Cuz look, there, this could just be a dork who, you know, uh, cuz other, cuz basically if we say you can't do this at all, it's kinda misogynistic to be like, well, a woman can't have a friend. If she meets up with a male friend, it's fucking-

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Cuz he's in a relationship and so is she.

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  And so to me, here's the absolute easiest answer here is like, why does this have to be a one-on-one hang?

• 54:11Speaker 02

  I say, keep it on, if it started online, keep it online.

• 54:13Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Cuz even if, if you're meeting up in person, the only reason to ever do that is to, like, accelerate to a different- Zone.

• 54:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  If you're in a relationship and you're happy and so is he supposedly.

• 54:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Then I just like, what, what's, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

• 54:33Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I guess, I see what you're saying and I also tend to agree, but I wonder if that's a little bit of like, slightly generational, because I'm just coming around to the idea that like so many people younger than us.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:45Stavros Halkias?

  Friendship online is just real friendship. Like even, even our, in our generation, like I know we have friends eldest that like, you, like you, you and the elusive and mysterious big P were way more into like message board culture and like you, you had friends online in a way that I never, I really was way more like, or I was not, I was an online skeptic even as a youth. And I think even within millennials, I would say half are, and I think after us, everyone has, everyone.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have none at all, but my wife is like younger and she has so many online. Yeah, oh, just turned 19.

• 55:30Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, you, she's been a family friend forever.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, family friend.

• 55:33Stavros Halkias?

  You were there at her baptism.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  First, the first steps was so, I saw those first steps, I was like, okay, I'm waiting, I'm sitting this out.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Those legs are gonna get longer.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  I was actually her singing coach and helped her hit that IC.

• 55:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I met her playing a pop punk gig.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  She's got a residency in Vegas now and we're just so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy.

• 56:03Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, you're, you're, yeah, like even your wife has.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  She's got real online friends, but also I'm not like an internet, I, we're the opposite because we get, we get along, you know? I like dirt and being outside and not being the computer and she loves, she could live on the computer for days.

• 56:20Stavros Halkias?

  And that, that's what I'm saying is like for so many people younger than us, there really is no distinction between online and real life. Like I think we, us looking at it as like real world, you know, whatever. I mean, in fact, I would say some people feel more, which is a dangerous thing in my view, but for some people might just say that's how the world is, how civilization is progressing.

• 56:39Stavros Halkias?

  I think people are

• 56:40Speaker 02

  More honest online, they feel like.

• 56:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, 100% more themselves, which is sad, but in any case.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  That's why, what is, I don't get the need to meet up. I understand the want to, but also it's kind of like.

• 56:52Stavros Halkias?

  But let's, okay, again, let's say these are both women or both men, right? There is, it's just, if, if you take the gendered aspect out of it, then it's just an old, like, this old pal you've had on the air forever, and it's kind of, he's the only one that you've stayed in touch with, like, it would be kind of fun if it made sense to meet up for lunch or coffee or whatever the fuck. I feel like a lot of people have friendships that transition very easily to that. So my question is, so then I would just say though, if you were going to do this, I think it has to be like,

• 57:30Stavros Halkias?

  because it is intimate to be like, one of us has to cross state lines and we're gonna meet up at this specific place.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Crossing state lines, I've heard that before.

• 57:39Stavros Halkias?

  Trafficking.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Nothing like crossing state lines to get in trouble.

• 57:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, whatever, like how far away you are is a big deal. Now, if one of you happens to be in town for work or whatever the fuck, and you want to meet up for lunch or whatever, that's fine.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  That's different.

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  But I also think the way to make this not weird at all is like, what if you have a big barbecue someday? Or if you have a 4th of July barbecue, or if you have like a little dinner party, or you have just something, and you're like, hey, low stakes, why don't you come meet my fucking boyfriend?

• 58:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that, really the crucial thing for me here is you sussing out what he's looking for. Cause I think it's very reasonable for her to be like, oh, I just want a friend, but like, this, to me, could have guy, what we were talking about earlier, how everything from your youth is more nostalgic. Like, a guy in a relationship he doesn't really like so much, and he's like, oh, that perfect girl who's Said the N word on Halo with me like that's my soulmate. You know what I mean?

• 58:40Speaker 02

  That's a fucking play, right?

• 58:43Speaker 02

  That's a one act play. He's got his whole life about her. She goes over there and he's like, she's like, why do you have all these pictures of me? He's like, what? That's you? Like, oh, fuck.

• 58:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just really into street photography. Yeah, yeah. So that's my big question is like, and clearly she has some hang up which, but to me, her hangups feel like more about perception. And I think you need to separate the perception of it and how you actually feel.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:12Stavros Halkias?

  Are your hangups because you, deep down, you are afraid that there might, you actually have some latent romantic feelings for this person? Or is it that you're afraid that he might, whatever? I don't know. If it's just, will it look weird? I mean, you know, if you're in a relationship, you should be able to tell your fucking boyfriend or girlfriend like, hey, my buddy from, like, what if it was like a friend from, like, this when you were 13? What if it was an old friend from middle school? That was in town. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't feel weird going to see a girl that I was friends with when I was in middle school and on some like, let's catch up shit.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:48Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if you're in a good relationship, and if you really aren't, if you're really not looking for anything romantic, it's fine. It's just, I don't understand the hesitation in your voice here because, and maybe it's as simple as like, she's just worried about the optics from a gendered perspective.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Did she ask? She didn't ask? She didn't tell her partner though, yet, did she?

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  That's what I'm wondering. She didn't specify that, but I'm wondering like, has she ever brought this guy up to her partner before?

• 1:00:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Because I could see like, if I did this, or if my wife did this, if it was like, oh, I'm, I'm gonna go get lunch with someone from a message board that I was friends with. I became friends with when I was 14. When I was like the most pathetic horny.

• 1:00:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's crucial.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  You know, if I just sprung that out of nowhere, that would be sus as fuck.

• 1:00:36Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, but if you're still, if she's still a gamer, she's still on Xbox and, and her, her boyfriend also, cause the other thing is like, what kind of, is this a gamer to gamer relationship?

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Sounds like it.

• 1:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  I actually think that makes a big difference, right?

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 1:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  Cause like people who are in that, who really give a fuck about that kind of shit, would understand it in a way that somebody who, like, I was never really in this world. And, and like, it would be, if it, out of nowhere, somebody told me that, it would, I would be like, that's a little strange. But if somebody, if your boyfriend also respects the sanctity of.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  Sanctity of gamer culture.

• 1:01:11Stavros Halkias?

  Gamer, of gamer friendships.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Elite speak.

• 1:01:13Stavros Halkias?

  Which exists, that's, that's all the stuff you have to think about. I don't think this is necessarily a horrible idea, given you want it to be platonic, the, your friend wants it to be platonic, and this isn't completely out of the blue to your partner. But if you are, cause not talking, not mentioning them, and in fact, either way, you should mention this, because it's kind of weird to just have a secret friend to, like, just in general, it's weird. Even if they were the same gender, it's kind of bizarre to have a secret, decades-long friendship that your partner doesn't know about. It is a little strange. And that's all.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  It's always weird to bring something up where they're like, who's that? It's like, oh, you know, Jason L.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Jason L.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Who the fuck is Jason L? Like, you know, my friend I know from a long time ago.

• 1:02:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who I keep tabs with.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  I've talked about him all the time. I've always talked about him. Don't you, you know?

• 1:02:09Stavros Halkias?

  Don't you know him?

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Like making cereal. Yeah, you know, I've always.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:02:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh honey, can you get the door? Jason L's at the door. He's like, what?

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  You know, my friend Jason L.

• 1:02:18Stavros Halkias?

  He's just gonna come, you know, you're away for the weekend. He's gonna help me water the plants.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  My friend, headshot69. I'm going to see a headshot69 in Maryland.

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  Obama's birth certificate, 42.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Obama's birth certificate?

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ. You know, jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  It's my old friend.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's my buddy Building7.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's my buddy XX Building7XX. And the 1X is lowercase and the 1 is uppercase.

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Building7?

• 1:02:57Stavros Halkias?

  Next, next question, little LD. Uh oh. Holy fuck. What the fuck? What the hell's going on? Oh, I'm scared, Johnny. Oh, fuck. It's time to fucking...

• 1:03:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. It's the fucked up motherfucking ass question of the week. Brought to you by... At Twisted Tea. The smoothest motherfucking ass beverage on the market.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Double T, double P, H I T.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. We got the fucking party pack. I was sucking these off, celebrating the Knicks victory. In fact, you can tell my, my hat was trampled on 7th Avenue. And I haven't cleaned it because it feels like it was a, it's a mark of pride.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Sold that for so much money.

• 1:03:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's a mark of pride. So Eldis, what is the motherfucking ass fucked up question of the week this week? Brought to you by Twisted Tea.

• 1:03:47Speaker 05

  Esteemed guest, Eldis.

• 1:03:51Speaker 05

  I used to have an Albanian roommate and...

• 1:03:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry. I mean, good for you.

• 1:03:56Speaker 05

  He was like a grumpy little troll. Anyways, I'm a bisexual woman.

• 1:04:03Stavros Halkias?

  Nice. They're lying.

• 1:04:04Speaker 05

  And I've been with my male partner for eight years. We're basically married.

• 1:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:04:11Speaker 05

  We own a house together.

• 1:04:13Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:04:14Speaker 05

  Um, but I got really drunk one night while he was out of town. And I slept with a woman. It was like a friend, whatever. I called on my home...

• 1:04:31Stavros Halkias?

  Husband's like, yes! Fuck yes! Whoa, my god! Thank fucking god! Hopefully, your husband is dumb, because if... If he's dumb, this is awesome. But if he's smart, he, this is bad. But keep going, Eldis.

• 1:04:46Speaker 06

  It was like a friend, whatever. I called all my homegirls. They told me, girl, don't tell him shit. But I can't do that. I can't lie to him. I actually really love him and want the best for him. So I told him and he's like, he was really hurt about it. And I just feel like it's not that big of a deal.

• 1:05:07Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking, this, this, okay, our caller is keeping it way too twisted. You're keeping it mu- much, much too twisted.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  It's chill and twisted.

• 1:05:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She is being very chill and twisted, like a delicious twisted tea on a hot summer's day.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  That's what makes it so chill.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Which is good for a beverage, but bad for your bisexual, long-term girlfriend. I, okay, you, she's being homophobic.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  She's married?

• 1:05:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, they've been together eight years and they own a house together. She's basically, they're effectively, common law, yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:05:40Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it's crazy or confused why he's hurt. What, anyway, let, finish the call, I guess.

• 1:05:46Speaker 06

  Maybe because I'm a girl and I'm like, this is just like drunk girl stuff, like.

• 1:05:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's not.

• 1:05:52Speaker 06

  I feel like it's not that big of a deal.

• 1:05:55Speaker 06

  But he feels like it's cheating.

• 1:05:56Stavros Halkias?

  It is cheating. What do you mean he feels like it's cheating? You cheated on him with another person. That's how fucking dumb you are? You think it doesn't count? That's awesome. Fuck. And here's the thing, if you feel this way, right? If this is really, is she done? Is there more? All right, let's let her finish.

• 1:06:12Speaker 06

  It's just two girls like getting drunk and like, you know, eating puss. I don't know. It happens. Like all my friends were like, girl, I've gotten drunk. And fucked my friend before. I don't know.

• 1:06:23Stavros Halkias?

  Were they in relationships, though? Cause if they're not, then they're cool.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Even then, it's not like, like, that's not casual.

• 1:06:31Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, listen, I'm not, I'm not gonna sit here and tell girls not to get drunk and suck each other's tits. I, I can't do that, Johnny. That's against my morals. But if you're in a committed relationship with either a man or a woman, and it's not an open relationship, that is wrong to do. I don't even, I can't believe I have to explain that to you. That's, you're really fucking dumb to not get that. I think you're just in denial. You don't wanna, you, you even said it, I can't do that to him because you felt. Guilty enough to tell him, but you were hoping. That means that to me signals that your guilt wasn't real. You just wanted to get it off your chest. You just wanted it for him to be like, nice. What did her pussy look like?

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Or maybe you want to break up with them and this is how you're doing it because you're creating the problem.

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  To start the wedge.

• 1:07:16Stavros Halkias?

  Which would be again, much too twisted. Uh, is there, is there, should we just let her finish? Is there anything else?

• 1:07:22Speaker 06

  Well, what do you think? Would you be upset? It was like very much so.

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  Would I be upset?

• 1:07:28Speaker 06

  Yes, me being almost blackout drunk and.

• 1:07:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. Stop, stop giving yourself an out.

• 1:07:34Speaker 06

  It was like a friend. It was just like some dumb shit.

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, somebody's gonna have to see again, maybe.

• 1:07:40Speaker 06

  I'm not even attracted to her, which is the most anno- one of the most annoying parts. I also did not come.

• 1:07:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know what the most annoying part is?

• 1:07:48Speaker 06

  And she was like a pillow princess, didn't want to do nothing.

• 1:07:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:07:52Speaker 06

  So I'm like, don't even get mad. It wasn't even good.

• 1:07:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, sure. That's what you tell them. The pussy wasn't even worth it. Why are you being annoying?

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  It sounds fake.

• 1:08:01Stavros Halkias?

  I wish it was fake, but I think she's just a fucking idiot. And look, whatever. I like.

• 1:08:09Stavros Halkias?

  You might have these, these feelings towards hooking up. That's something you have to clear before you do. I'm not even saying you couldn't find a relationship where this works, right?

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  There's probably tons of guys who would be like, if you tell me.

• 1:08:22Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, for sure. Like.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:24Stavros Halkias?

  I, when I was saying, hopefully your boyfriend's dumb, like I've, like, this didn't happen to me, but I remember dating somebody and like, being shocked she wasn't bi and being like, and then, and then like dating somebody casually. And she was like showing me pictures of her with other girls. I was like, this is the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  Especially if it's, if it's like relaxed and chill and they're.

• 1:08:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  They're comfortable with it.

• 1:08:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  And they're letting you in, letting you know about it.

• 1:08:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's kind of cool. A friendship between like you and a girl that you're hooking up with who's bi. And it's almost like, it's like how that feeling of like dapping up your boy after getting pussy. Whereas with a hot girl, you get the fuck is kind of awesome. I don't know if it's sustainable. It's one of those things that burns too bright. You know what I mean? It's like such a beautiful lens, like. It's not gonna, it's not gonna light your world forever. It's like a firework. You have to enjoy it. You can't light your home with it. It's not, you know, that's, that's not a stable form of energy. But it, when it burns, it burns bright and it's awesome.

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  I feel like I could, I could be sustainable with something like that.

• 1:09:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that'd be cool. That'd be cool. But you found a guy who's not like that. And by the way, you could have just asked him ahead of time. And also, the other thing I would say is even within your own twisted logic, if you're this kind of person who's like, who cares? It's girls hooking up. The fact that you even haven't, he, first of all, he would reject this offer, I'm pretty sure. But the fact that you haven't offered a threesome is to make, make it up to him. And by the way, I'm not saying normally that's how this works, right? I'm not saying normally you should sexual barter, but for this girl who seems like, what's the big deal?

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  Give it a try.

• 1:10:02Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you should have at least tried, you haven't tried to make amends in your dumb way even. Which to me feels like you're just, you just did something fucked up. That's all there is to it. What do I think?

• 1:10:13Speaker 02

  I thought she was gonna say that too. I thought she was gonna say something like that.

• 1:10:16Stavros Halkias?

  She started that way and then she very quickly, when she didn't immediately get her way, immediately be like, oh yeah, who cares? Fuck more girls. That's what you were hoping? Didn't happen because he's, your boyfriend is much more stable, mentally stable than you. And you're, you know, kind of pissed off about it. So look, again, philosophically, it hurts me to say two girls hooking up is bad. It does. But I do have to say in this case, that is true. And I don't, what do I think? I think you fucked up. I think the ball's completely in his court where he decides where this goes. I mean, you did something that could ruin this relationship. Very, very possibly you put your eight-year relationship at risk.

• 1:11:00Stavros Halkias?

  And the fact that it was just a friend and you weren't that attracted to her and you didn't bust, that's all worse. None of that is good.

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  The friend thing is worse, because now it's like, he's gonna think every friend you have, you guys just casually fucking, getting blackout drunk.

• 1:11:16Stavros Halkias?

  And all your friends being like, don't tell them, they're scumbags. They're fucking scumbags, dude.

• 1:11:23Stavros Halkias?

  They are giving it twisted. So I guess what I would tell you to do is sit your boyfriend down, maybe with a ice cold twisted tea party pack and try the fresh lemonade that's only available in the party pack and maybe even the rocket pop, which I really enjoyed.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  That looks, looks interesting.

• 1:11:40Stavros Halkias?

  It was pretty good. I, like I said, I had him, I sucked down a bunch of them during the Knicks win. But yeah, look dude, you're, you just made a big, you made a big mistake. And if this is the kind of thing you wanted to do in your relationship, you should have been open about it. And you know, if he breaks up.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Just film it.

• 1:11:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And offer him, offer him double top for Christ's sake. I mean, dude, and again, I'm not gonna, get, give him, yeah, the double pop, double top rocket.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  Double top rocket pop.

• 1:12:10Stavros Halkias?

  Double top rocket pop. That's nice. You get your dicks up, you can pour them a little fucking rocket pop, dude. Nurish them. You know what I mean?

• 1:12:17Speaker 03

  You can use that twisted tea.

• 1:12:18Stavros Halkias?

  You can, hey twisted tea, if you want to do double top rocket pop, just, just break my boy Johnny off a piece.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna.

• 1:12:25Stavros Halkias?

  But you can use it. You can use it. He did sign a waiver. Everything he's ever, everything he said and thought during this podcast is, we do own it. So, you know, at the end of the day, we can use it, but please break him off. At least mail him a couple of party packs.

• 1:12:39Speaker 02

  I shouldn't have thought about that universal energy idea.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  Now I'm gonna be dead.

• 1:12:48Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, all right. Good luck. Good luck. And hey, maybe keep it a little less twisted next time. Keep it twisted.

• 1:12:55Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck. Shit, we're going back to the not untwisted zone.

• 1:13:01Speaker 02

  The detwisted zone.

• 1:13:03Stavros Halkias?

  We're getting detwisted right now.

• 1:13:07Stavros Halkias?

  What a, what a bad.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  It's like a home improvement. What is that?

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's the home improvement reboot.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  Or the Home Depot theme song, you know?

• 1:13:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  The whole music for Home Depot. Oh my God. That's hell.

• 1:13:19Stavros Halkias?

  What do we got? What else we got, little LD?

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  Hey, Stav. So I'm a virgin.

• 1:13:23Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Hang up. But I've been talking to this really hot girl on Snapchat recently.

• 1:13:29Stavros Halkias?

  She sounds real.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  She's like 25. And originally we met through Reddit DMs where I made some posts about being a virgin.

• 1:13:39Stavros Halkias?

  And she told me that she was kinda, her fetish was kind of taking guys' virginities. This is a guy in Bangladesh, man. This is definitely- This is a fucking guy in Bangladesh, bro. Come on, man.

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  That's the guy with like forty-five phones and a gun to his head, being like, you know what I mean?

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  Let's listen, there's some interesting detail.

• 1:14:02Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but like, if I was a scammer, I am going straight to our male virgins immediately. I'm going to our divorced dad and our, our straight male virgins. Anyway-

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  Did this guy say how old he is? Okay.

• 1:14:17Stavros Halkias?

  Anyways, she's like, a hu- she's got like borderline personality disorder.

• 1:14:23Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 1:14:23Stavros Halkias?

  OCD, she's a huge drug user and stuff. She's done like, she told me she's done like meth and heroin and fentanyl and she's currently a huge stoner. Keep it twisted. Anyways, uh- She's, she's keeping it rather twisted. Sounds like one of the last caller's friends.

• 1:14:41Stavros Halkias?

  Just eat some pussy and don't tell your fucking boyfriend.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  This is a piece of rope. It's so twisted.

• 1:14:47Stavros Halkias?

  She lives in Central PA and I live in Central Ohio. Oof. So we, we live sort of close. And she told me that, uh- The airplane emoji, but it's Central PA to Central Ohio?

• 1:15:00Stavros Halkias?

  In your bio?

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  Indiana Jones? It's like going from one-

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Different fentanyl hotspot to different fentanyl hotspot. It's tasked to, uh-

• 1:15:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. The, it's, it's the, it's the cities the Sackler family has ruined the superhighway.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:15:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go ahead. If I don't lose my virginity sooner or later, I can just go out and fuck her. Mm-hmm. Um- That's good.

• 1:15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Thing is, I told her I was twenty in our original conversation. Because she said, are you at least 20? I said, yeah, I'm 20. Uh oh, he's 14. I'm really 18. Gigantism? So. Oh, dude.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  I'm telling you, he does not care. Is this woman?

• 1:15:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's gonna check her ID, bro. Do you think she's gonna know? Think she's gonna like ask for my ID or something? Come on, dude. Like, what do you think I should do? First of all, you're gonna get there and her fucking cousins are gonna rob you.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, for real, this guy's gonna get fucking jacked.

• 1:15:58Stavros Halkias?

  You might, you might, you might fuck her, but you are def- your car's not leaving with a catalytic converter. I'll tell you that much.

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  He's gonna have his robbery virginity taken.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  They're gonna take his, his ID.

• 1:16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, okay.

• 1:16:11Speaker 02

  Oh, my fucking god.

• 1:16:12Stavros Halkias?

  This kid being 18 completely cha- like, if you were 24.

• 1:16:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe.

• 1:16:18Stavros Halkias?

  Get good with a butterfly knife?

• 1:16:20Speaker 02

  Get a fucking gun.

• 1:16:22Stavros Halkias?

  And head on over to Central fucking O-Hop PA.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  Hire some Albanians to come with you.

• 1:16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Bring an Albanian, uh, bring an Albanian valet with you and, yeah, Green Book, but for virgins.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  Green Book? That's gonna be a movie. Oh, my fucking god.

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hey, everybody back up.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  Green Book for virgins.

• 1:16:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, fellas, get out of here. He's gonna fuck your cousin. And we're getting out of here.

• 1:16:44Speaker 02

  Could you imagine, what's that Willem, uh, what's the guy's name?

• 1:16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Uh.

• 1:16:50Speaker 02

  The actor.

• 1:16:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's, oh, yeah, who did play the guy in Green Book? Vigo.

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  Vigo Mortensen?

• 1:16:54Stavros Halkias?

  Vigo Mortensen.

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ, shepherding you to get your V card taken?

• 1:16:58Stavros Halkias?

  So awesome. Whoa, wait, back up, fellas.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna take her first.

• 1:17:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna give the pussy a spin, make sure everything is in order.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  Well, this guy, man, he needs, he needs.

• 1:17:08Stavros Halkias?

  Buddy, you're 18, all right? If you were, if you were even maybe, I just, to me, the downside here, you're on, if she was in your town, if you kind of knew the, like, you have too, there are too many. Variables here.

• 1:17:26Speaker 02

  She was forty.

• 1:17:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, how old is she, did she say?

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  She's like twenty something.

• 1:17:30Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty-five.

• 1:17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:33Speaker 02

  You need to lose it with a woman who's, who's like a hairdresser who's divorced. Honestly.

• 1:17:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, yeah.

• 1:17:40Speaker 02

  Well, like someone who's got two kids.

• 1:17:42Stavros Halkias?

  We're, we're actually, we're big on this podcast. We're, we're trying to get, it's not, look, we're not against age gaps. We just think the, the glass ceiling on age gaps needs to be broken.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Why aren't more divorced hairdressers taking some twenty-year-old, you know, college, college, like fucking sophomores out for a spin?

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  I think they are, kind of.

• 1:18:01Stavros Halkias?

  I hope so, I hope so. And you know what? Maybe the media doesn't want us to know about it.

• 1:18:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:05Stavros Halkias?

  Cause the media wants to keep America a pedophilic society. Um, anyway, I would say at your age, uh, at your age, eighteen is just too fucking young to be doing desperation moves like this.

• 1:18:19Speaker 02

  That's okay not to get late at eighteen.

• 1:18:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's totally okay. You go to, I mean, go to college, or if you don't want to go to college, just start hanging out, get a fake ID, start hanging out at bars, or just going to house parties, whatever. You're too young for this desperation, this type of desperation. And look, I'm not even saying if you find a girl like this at a local bar, don't fuck her.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:18:37Stavros Halkias?

  If this girl was at your fucking, you know, at, at a dive bar, you, you meet her, she's deep-throating the big buck hunter gun, and you're, and like, yeah, you could fuck her.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  Oh my god, that's how you meet somebody.

• 1:18:50Stavros Halkias?

  But to me, to me, the, the, uh, variables of you having to take an away game to completely unknown territory, and this is coming from somebody who has hooked up with people in strange situations and been like, am I about to fucking? I remember I'm, like, I was dr- I was driving up ninety-five and I made a little detour for a, a friend I met on the internet, and I, like, walking into her apartment was like, let's bleep out the city, actually. Uh, walking, walking into her, it was like in an alley, and it, the door was weird. And it was one of those places where, once you got upstairs, it was a beautiful place, but I was like, why did I do that?

• 1:19:30Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, why did I risk? I was like, I'm about to get fucking jumped. Now, she was hot, it was awesome, I don't regret it, but, you know, uh, I, I, I have my wits about me, you know, I was in my twenties, I'm not an eighteen-year-old, and even then, I would- I could have gotten bludgeoned in the fucking.

• 1:19:47Speaker 02

  There's pizza guys who won't go into that situation.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  And those guys have been like jacked before.

• 1:19:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but I so I think right now where you are, you don't have enough life experience, let alone sexual experience to handle this. To me, the weirder parts are having to go to a strange city with a white trash drug user to get pussy. It's like you can find white trash drug users in central Ohio, brother. You don't gotta go to York, PA to find that. I promise you that. You're fine. You're fine wherever the fuck you are. What's what's central? Is that like Cleveland?

• 1:20:23Stavros Halkias?

  You should know, you're the resident Ohio expert.

• 1:20:25Speaker 02

  It's like all of Ohio is central.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Cincinnati is like by Kentucky and shit like that.

• 1:20:32Speaker 02

  There's no part of Ohio that's it's that.

• 1:20:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna say, is there a city called Lebanon, Ohio?

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  There's a Lebanon everywhere.

• 1:20:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:41Speaker 03

  I'm seeing places like the regions surrounding Columbus.

• 1:20:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Columbus.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Stretches across 10 to 11 county metro footprint.

• 1:20:49Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  Counties include Franklin, Delaware, Fairfield, I've never even heard of these shit.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, wow.

• 1:20:55Speaker 02

  There's definitely bar slays that will.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, there is.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  Help you out.

• 1:21:00Stavros Halkias?

  You're in Ohio and you're thinking you can't find a girl who's tried fentanyl to suck your dick? Yes, you can.

• 1:21:06Speaker 02

  Just go to a bar with a fresh pack of cigarettes.

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  Hang outside and when a woman who's clearly needs to have her hair done.

• 1:21:15Stavros Halkias?

  I love this.

• 1:21:15Speaker 02

  Who's got who's got like her her nails are grown out. Yeah, chipped out. She needs a fill.

• 1:21:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  Light her cigarette and tell her you're a virgin. She's like, I'll fucking fix that.

• 1:21:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, 100% dude. No, this is and this goes back to why we need to touch grass. You were trying to find these women online and they could be anywhere. Find them at your local bar. Put out this vibe in your local bar. Be a cute little fucking, you know, whatever you're old at a dive bar. One of these ladies will suck you off. I just think, yeah, but don't, don't, don't worry too much. All right, we, everybody in this room was a virgin at 18, it sounds like.

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  It's better.

• 1:21:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then, and we, we're fine now. Now you could say, actually, I'm clearly obsessed with getting pussy and it's, it's actually been a problem and it's wrecked other relationships in my life. So maybe we're not fine, but Johnny and Eldis are.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Okay, I guess, yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 03

  I guess.

• 1:22:09Stavros Halkias?

  I mean. You're both married?

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  I would like to have had it sooner, but then.

• 1:22:13Stavros Halkias?

  But it doesn't matter now.

• 1:22:14Speaker 02

  I think it's better.

• 1:22:15Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares? Who cares? I can't.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  I would have liked sooner.

• 1:22:18Stavros Halkias?

  But it doesn't matter, that's all.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  I've, I've said before, I would have liked sooner, but if I, if it didn't hap, when did it happen for me? Like 22 or 23 or something?

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow, I thought it was, yeah.

• 1:22:29Speaker 03

  I think it was like right after college, but if it didn't happen then, I'm like, well, I could see just living with it for a few years and thinking like, you know what? This will happen.

• 1:22:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, I would have, if I didn't, if I didn't fuck in college, I would have 100% gone to a sex worker and treated myself.

• 1:22:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:45Stavros Halkias?

  And just, just to get, just to break, cause.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  To break the seal.

• 1:22:49Stavros Halkias?

  You just break the mystique. It's nothing. Sex is really nothing. It's just, you feel like, you think you're gonna put your dick in and pussy's gonna be like, you're gonna be like, whoa, your eyes are gonna fucking roll back into your head. You're gonna be like, oh, this is the best feeling of all time. And it can get there if you're good, if both people are good at fucking and you care for each other. But at first, it's just gonna feel kinda cool.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:12Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it feels cool, but it doesn't, it doesn't change your life. And the more you build it up, the worse it is. And it's like, we're here to tell you at 18, you're fine, you don't need to be doing shit like this. You'll be fine, buddy.

• 1:23:21Speaker 02

  It's like that part in Rushmore. You've seen that movie Rushmore?

• 1:23:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's been a while.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  It's like the best line about virginity, cause you know, that's, he's a kid, he's trying to date the teacher.

• 1:23:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  She's like, it's, if you, not if you haven't fucked before, it isn't, like she's making it out to be. If you've had, have, if you have had sex, it's not a big deal, but to the person who hasn't, it's like this huge.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  The discrepancy is so big to where I can see why this guy is going so crazy, cause he just doesn't know, you don't know what you don't know.

• 1:23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:23:50Speaker 02

  And once you get there, you're like, oh.

• 1:23:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that was it? Oh, that's interesting. That was pretty cool. Uh, anyway, good luck, little buddy. You'll get pussy sometime soon. We believe in you.

• 1:24:02Speaker 00

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• 1:25:15Speaker 05

  Hey, Davi, Elvis and guest, longtime listener, first-time caller. I just had a weird situation

• 1:25:27Speaker 05

  that I kind of need advice in with a very old friend, one of my oldest friends from middle school. So, we have had our same group message with our, with the boys for, you know, the last 10, 15-plus years. And it's been, getting this particular friend has sounded off when he replies messages, both privately and in this group chat, where we were wondering if maybe his partner was taking over. And yesterday, she texted him selfie-

• 1:26:06Speaker 05

  Rain, am I right? And couple of the guys were like,

• 1:26:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, officer. It's like a guy, it's a guy in Timbs and the, and uncreased jeans and a Yankees fitted being like, anybody got drugs I could buy? That's fucking crazy, dude.

• 1:26:23Speaker 02

  What's?

• 1:26:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sophie Rain, Sophie Rain, am I right? It's just, I, I don't even know if she does porn or if she's one of those girls that has an OnlyFans.

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  And just made like a fuck ton of money on it.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  But she seems like one of those OnlyFans girls that like, some of them just got famous being an OnlyFans girl and they don't even actually do porn. It's like a weird, you know, maybe they show some tits or something.

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  But so saying Sophie Rain, right? Is that like a thing where?

• 1:26:46Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's her trying to be like, hey, pornography is cool, huh, guys?

• 1:26:49Speaker 02

  To the group chat?

• 1:26:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but anyway, let's finish because I'm a little confused about what's going on.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  I just didn't know who that person was.

• 1:26:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, nice, dude.

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  I mean, I really don't.

• 1:26:58Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, Sophie Rain. And I said, same thing. Uh, and I get a text from this friend through his number, but from her, uh, saying that just a whole bunch of, whole bunch of shit making me feel, calling me disgusting. Uh, questioning why I'm with my wife if I am gawking at, uh, a hot chick.

• 1:27:24Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, who said Sophie Rain?

• 1:27:25Speaker 05

  And

• 1:27:27Speaker 03

  The, the guy, the caller's friend, his wife, or?

• 1:27:33Stavros Halkias?

  And what, this, this guy took the bait and was like, nice?

• 1:27:35Speaker 03

  Uh, he said a few guys in the group chat were like, yeah, Sophie Rain. They're like, yeah, whatever. And

• 1:27:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's fu- first of all, that's weird. Imagine if you, in our group chats, you texted a porn star and was like, actually, I guess it's just weird because it's Sophie Rain. If you text like Jana Michaels, I'd be like, nice.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I could see that.

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Actually, yeah.

• 1:27:55Speaker 03

  I could see be like, yeah, fuck you.

• 1:27:56Stavros Halkias?

  If we did our generation of porn stars, what's weird? To me is that that girl's like, like, young as fu- like, it just, it's a weird thing for like,

• 1:28:04Speaker 02

  She's over 18, right?

• 1:28:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, but it's just like, but it's like, I don't know, man. To me, I, I find myself gravitating in the MILF categories, you know, and, and we even, we even discussed it with our, our, you know, new friend of the show, Jimmy, another Jimmy, Jimmy Tatro, we're, we're MILF aged men now. We're, we're men, we're MILF aged.

• 1:28:25Speaker 02

  That's, that's age appropriate. Not even really a MILF that just happened to be a mom.

• 1:28:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. But either way, at the same time, whatever. If you want to throw out any porn star in a group chat and somebody gets horny for it, fine. It's crazy, but let's finish it off.

• 1:28:39Speaker 05

  Hot chick. Um, and, uh, it was a lot of messages and I didn't know what to do. My friends are on the fence between messaging her back or messaging him back or just like letting it lie. And I'm frustrated because I just started getting this friend back in the picture because of his controlling partner. And she does have DPD, so that is another reason I don't want to respond. But also personally, selfishly, I guess I do. But, uh, I don't know. I just got this friend back and now it feels like I'm losing him. And, uh, she's also wanting to message my wife to, to make sure she knows how disgusting it is that I like tits.

• 1:29:21Speaker 05

  So, uh, anyway, any advice will be helpful. Take care. Hope you're both feeling better. Bye.

• 1:29:26Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, brother. I'm out of the brace. Um, I mean, this is insane behavior.

• 1:29:32Speaker 02

  That is nightmare level shit. I think I would have to, you gotta call the person up. You gotta talk to them. You can't, the texting thing, the amount of people who still text to solve something like, just fucking call the person because you cannot, the inflection isn't there. There's all this stuff that people, people will say stuff on text. They would never say out loud.

• 1:29:53Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's also, absolutely, absolutely.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  Never say it.

• 1:29:56Stavros Halkias?

  But it's also like this, his wife or girlfriend or whatever. It's like, That's fucking insane. That would piss me off so fucking much. It's like, what is it? What are you? First of all, it's like you got this information without a warrant, number one. This is not, this isn't you impersonated.

• 1:30:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's illegal.

• 1:30:13Stavros Halkias?

  This is, this is, you know, fruit from a poison tree, you know, cannot, you can't use it or whatever the fuck the legal bullshit is. Uh, you can't.

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  Sustained?

• 1:30:26Stavros Halkias?

  But literally just something I heard, I like, remember hearing from some legal thriller.

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  Like Law Order.

• 1:30:32Speaker 03

  You just watched SVU?

• 1:30:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I probably just watched SVU or some shit. Not even SVU, just SVU clips on, on, and, and that's mostly what I'm watching on Instagram reels. Is, I honestly, Green, I've never seen Green Book.

• 1:30:43Speaker 02

  You've never seen it?

• 1:30:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, I've seen like.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  Oh, it's the best. It's so, I fucking.

• 1:30:46Stavros Halkias?

  You actually think it's awesome?

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  The movie?

• 1:30:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:49Speaker 02

  I, it is outstanding. I fucking love it so much. I'm not kidding.

• 1:30:54Stavros Halkias?

  That shit looks like dad slopped me so much, dude.

• 1:30:56Speaker 02

  It's, no, it's not.

• 1:30:57Stavros Halkias?

  That looks like father-in-law, watch that shit with your father-in-law the day after Thanksgiving is what it looks like to me.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  I have a thing for.

• 1:31:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I'm gonna solve fucking racism. Hey, hey, don't say the N-word even though I say it a lot, obviously.

• 1:31:11Speaker 02

  You gotta watch it.

• 1:31:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:12Speaker 02

  It's different than you think. It's like, updated Driving Miss Daisy kind of.

• 1:31:17Stavros Halkias?

  Well, Mrs. Stacey sucks.

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  I think, I love that movie, man. I really do like that movie a lot.

• 1:31:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're like polite Minnesota liberal upbringing is coming out right now, where it's like, it's like, oh, this is what, this is perfect race relations. Anyway, to me, the clips I've, I've seen on, uh, on, and I'm, you've actually seen it, and I've seen like, you know, uh, maybe 22 minutes of it completely out of context over, over the course of six weeks.

• 1:31:46Speaker 02

  Of Green Book?

• 1:31:47Stavros Halkias?

  Of Green Book. But to me, it just seems like pandering, like, you know.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  It does seem that way.

• 1:31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Let's fix, let's fix, let's fix racism with one good white guy. But anyway, it doesn't matter.

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  It's a deeper story.

• 1:31:57Stavros Halkias?

  All right, all right, all right. The point is.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  Great performances.

• 1:32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Great, the performances, I, those, they are both great actors. I, you know, that is cool. Um, anyway.

• 1:32:06Speaker 02

  I'm there for the performances.

• 1:32:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know what it is about that movie? I probably wouldn't. Have such a negative reaction to it if it didn't win the Oscar.

• 1:32:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I

• 1:32:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's one of those classics where it's like, yeah.

• 1:32:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got an argument with a friend about this because she was like, oh, if Beale Street could talk like that's such a better version. I'm like, well, they they both can exist.

• 1:32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:32:25Speaker 02

  And they can both be good. And one obviously is way more Hollywood and popular.

• 1:32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just that, I guess it's symbolic of the type of art that gets rewarded, which is just like fine.

• 1:32:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:38Stavros Halkias?

  But speaks to the sensibilities of the people that make these decisions, right? Um, like old ass academy members are like, wow.

• 1:32:46Speaker 02

  They love that shit.

• 1:32:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, imagine if Obama was still in office. Like, to me, that movie's like, wouldn't it be great if Obama was still in office? Like, that's what that movie feels like to me, but I'm

• 1:32:55Speaker 02

  Wouldn't it be nice if I had a black friend, but I just have one on the movie?

• 1:33:01Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I was walking to Pilates and a couple of the homeboys outside smiled at me. Uh, that's what that movie feels like to me.

• 1:33:09Speaker 02

  Those are my friends.

• 1:33:10Stavros Halkias?

  My friend Jamarcus, actually, um, he's sitting out there and he, uh, he sings a lot. Anyway, um,

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  I love singing.

• 1:33:19Speaker 02

  Can I tell you, I just love your voice.

• 1:33:22Speaker 02

  Are you a singer? Can I just say, I think you might, you should be a singer.

• 1:33:29Stavros Halkias?

  Overhearing a barista hum. It's like, yeah.

• 1:33:32Speaker 02

  Here's a doll. What the fuck?

• 1:33:37Stavros Halkias?

  Um, anyway.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  This guy's fucked.

• 1:33:39Stavros Halkias?

  This guy, yeah, like, to me, this is the kind of thing where, uh, I would be so fucking pissed at this lady.

• 1:33:47Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:33:48Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck do you think you are? You you're running mind games. I'm not your fucking, I'm not in a, like, this would be a problem for me because I think I would, my mental illness would align perfectly with a BPD girlfriend girlfriend. And I would give her exactly what she wants. Which is calling her a dumb bitch and like, how dare you fucking do this? You like, I would like, so, but don't do that. That's my knee jerk reaction. I think how I would actually handle it is yes, you gotta call this guy and be like, hey, man. That was obviously not you. And I think it's really strange behavior, like on your girlfriend's part. And it's like, what the, it would honestly, you would just have to be like, what's going on? You know, this guy is spineless. You know, he's not gonna get an answer.

• 1:34:31Speaker 02

  He's being tread upon by her like hardcore. They have to break up. They have to break up. But you have to let them break up.

• 1:34:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:39Speaker 02

  You gotta call him or you gotta just like block.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  There's really not much you can do unfortunately when somebody has this, like, all you can do, it's, I mean, he is in an abusive relationship where the stakes aren't as high as getting the shit kicked out of you.

• 1:34:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's just your, I mean, who knows? Honestly, somebody's very controlling. And, and in these instances, all you can really do is be there for your friends when they want to reach out. You shouldn't do the thing I would want to do, which is like, argue with this woman who's clearly trying to start drama.

• 1:35:07Speaker 02

  She just wants something. She wants to have a fucking, like a second guy to yell at now.

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:11Speaker 02

  She's just creating a second problem.

• 1:35:13Stavros Halkias?

  Just be there for him if you can. Call him. Try and feel, feel him out.

• 1:35:18Speaker 02

  Send him an edible arrangement.

• 1:35:20Stavros Halkias?

  And realistically, you're probably gonna have to have two separate group chats.

• 1:35:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:35:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know, realistically, now you have to act as if the phones are tapped. So you need to have a regular group chat, cause if you want to keep him around, you have to keep this fucking idiot girlfriend like, you know, on your side. And you have to like, hey, like if anybody says Sophie Rain or whatever, like, you now know that group chat is compromised.

• 1:35:45Speaker 02

  It'd be cool to have a second one. You could have one that's like a red herring.

• 1:35:47Stavros Halkias?

  You need the second group chat that he's not in.

• 1:35:49Speaker 02

  Where you make it super dirty in a way where you try to drive her insane. You just text like, hey, guys, breasts.

• 1:35:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm saying you need one where she's not in.

• 1:35:59Speaker 02

  Right. You have, but you have like two of them. You have the real one, the fake one.

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so you think instead of making the fake, the fake one squeaky clean, uh, it should be, it should be super dirty to drive her insane.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  Super dirty. So you push her on the edge, cause you can't keep it. Clean because that's just like, or you make it so boring. You make like a

• 1:36:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:36:18Speaker 02

  Just

• 1:36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Talk about full sports, talk about football, talk about like mundane shit and no tits.

• 1:36:24Speaker 02

  Talk about like just the Epstein list, like going through the whole list, just guy by guy.

• 1:36:29Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe try and radicalize this insane person. Do a bunch of like inequality statistics. Talk about how much, how much CEO pay has skyrocketed. How if, if the minimum wage from the seventies kept place with inflation, it would be like fifty dollars an hour. Like, maybe you could turn this insane person into a warrior for good. Uh, who knows? But either way, your friend's fucked. You're gonna have to have a fake group chat and just kind of be there if and when he ever wants to get away from this person. But, um, you know, I think that's gonna do it for us. We've really, uh, saved, we really helped some people.

• 1:37:06Speaker 02

  A lot of BPD out there.

• 1:37:08Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of BPD out there. Johnny, is there anything you want to plug? I'm sorry, buddy. We should have asked earlier.

• 1:37:12Speaker 02

  Um, I'll be doing some comedy. You can all see my dates. I'll be in Madison. I'll be in Seattle. I'll be in some Florida stuff. It's all on Johnny Pemberton dot dog is my website.

• 1:37:22Stavros Halkias?

  Pemberton dot dog. I really like that.

• 1:37:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, uh, watch Mermaid. Watch, watch Mermaid on VOD.

• 1:37:28Stavros Halkias?

  Watch Mermaid on mother effing VOD. Johnny, thank you. You're so good.

• 1:37:32Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me. This is very fun.

• 1:37:33Stavros Halkias?

  Anytime. Come back. We'd love to have you.

• 1:37:35Speaker 02

  Can't wait.

• 1:37:36Stavros Halkias?

  Go see, go see Johnny live. Watch his movie. Watch the stuff he's in. Come see us, uh, special, actually, I think is about to be recorded this week. Or it's not, anyway, whatever. Fuck, we gotta promote the fucking, anyway, whatever. Just, we'll see you guys next week.

• 1:38:06Speaker 00

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