Great White Shark Attack - Kenny Quits His Job

Kenny Doudt quit his miserable and job and found himself with all the time in the world to do what he actually loved. And so with his surfboard and best friend in tow, he ran out into the water off of Cannon Beach, Oregon and had the encounter of a lifetime. Watch us on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/qgvzaAOBmig ~ Quince - Upgrade your everyday—download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to https://quince.com/tooth for free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK. Hims - To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/tooth Ollie Pet Food - Ollie. Feed the Obsession. Go to https://ollie.com/tooth and use code tooth to get 70% off your first box! Dose - Ready to give your liver the support it deserves? Head to https://dosedaily.co/TOOTH or enter TOOTH to get 35% off your first subscription. ~ To advertise on the show, contact us! Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/c/toothandclawpodcast ~~ Tooth & Claw is brought to you by QCODE. Support the show and get access to an extensive library of exclusive episodes like this by supporting the show on Patreon or joining the Grizzly Club on Apple Podcasts. For the latest updates on the show and all things wildlife, follow us at toothandclawpod.com and social: Instagram: @ToothandClawPodcast Twitter: @ToothandClawPod Wes: @GrizKid Jeff: @jefe_larson Mike: @mikey3ds Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:12Jeff Larson?

  Hello everyone, we are Tooth and Claw Podcast. We have our wildlife biologist and star of the show Wes Larson, and then we have his two measly little good for nothing sidekicks Jeff Larson and Mike Smith. How we doing today?

• 0:30Mike Smith?

  Thanks for that introduction Jeff.

• 0:32Wes Larson?

  I'm doing good. How are you guys?

• 0:33Jeff Larson?

  Yeah. Good.

• 0:35Wes Larson?

  Mike's mad.

• 0:37Mike Smith?

  Oh, I'm always mad though, so don't worry about that.

• 0:39Wes Larson?

  You're like the Hulk?

• 0:40Mike Smith?

  I'm like a yellow Hulk today. You know, there's green Hulk, there's red Hulk, I'm yellow Hulk.

• 0:46Jeff Larson?

  I got kicked out of my college friend group chat.

• 0:51Wes Larson?

  Oh, again?

• 0:52Jeff Larson?

  I never got kicked out of that one.

• 0:54Wes Larson?

  Okay, I thought you were always kind of right on the edge of being kicked out.

• 0:58Jeff Larson?

  Nah.

• 0:58Wes Larson?

  What'd you do?

• 1:00Jeff Larson?

  It'd been silent for a while, so I just put in every, you can do polls on, in text now, you know?

• 1:08Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:09Jeff Larson?

  So I just put out a poll with all nine of our names, and I was like, vote someone out of the group. And they're voting me out. So then I left.

• 1:21Wes Larson?

  Alright.

• 1:21Jeff Larson?

  But then I-

• 1:22Mike Smith?

  Those are the rules.

• 1:22Jeff Larson?

  Before, I waited a whole day for voting, and then I put in a round two, and then I left. So I wanted someone else out too, you know?

• 1:32Wes Larson?

  We should do that for the podcast and see how hard Mike campaigns to get himself out.

• 1:37Mike Smith?

  Everyone, please. You know what the right choice is.

• 1:40Wes Larson?

  He'll push harder than he's ever pushed for anything in his life.

• 1:43Mike Smith?

  I'm gonna go pray to my effigy upstairs and burn some prayer incense. I'm gonna do everything I can.

• 1:49Wes Larson?

  Especially today, I feel like.

• 1:52Jeff Larson?

  Because of my intro?

• 1:53Wes Larson?

  Yeah, I don't know. Even before you started the intro, he seemed like he was upset.

• 1:57Jeff Larson?

  Is that why you're mad? I was just joking.

• 2:00Mike Smith?

  Yeah, I name dropped two listeners a couple of episodes ago, and you called my intro a little boring? Like, that story is a little boring for listeners?

• 2:08Wes Larson?

  Which one was that?

• 2:10Mike Smith?

  I was just talking about Yellowstone and animals. Yeah, but, uh, no, by all means, share your little group chat drama. We're here for it.

• 2:20Wes Larson?

  See? He's firing on all cylinders today.

• 2:22Mike Smith?

  Oh, I'm yellow Hulk today, baby.

• 2:24Wes Larson?

  Man.

• 2:25Jeff Larson?

  I thought it was funny, and not like five minutes long, about going to Yellowstone.

• 2:31Mike Smith?

  And seeing animals?

• 2:32Wes Larson?

  Yellowstone was also interesting.

• 2:33Mike Smith?

  Totally within the purview of the show.

• 2:35Jeff Larson?

  Hey, this all started from that one time I went to Taco Bell, and I tried telling you they didn't give me sauce packets, and you said, "That's the worst story I ever heard." I was like, it wasn't much of a story.

• 2:47Mike Smith?

  Please tell that story again.

• 2:51Wes Larson?

  I do feel like we don't always need to just come up with a dumb story right at the beginning, but anyway, a lot of this is gonna get cut.

• 2:58Jeff Larson?

  I'll vote myself out of this group chat.

• 3:01Mike Smith?

  No, no, that's my, that's, please vote for me, everyone.

• 3:04Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, I'm leaving.

• 3:05Wes Larson?

  Well, we might as well wait for him to come back.

• 3:07Mike Smith?

  Uh, no, we got, we got, uh, our captain and our second mate, even though we're missing our first mate.

• 3:13Wes Larson?

  We'll just keep going, I guess. Uh, I don't have anything funny to say, aside from the fact that, um, this morning I woke up and immediately put on the song Smooth by Santana and Rob Thomas.

• 3:26Mike Smith?

  Did that get rid of your headache?

• 3:27Wes Larson?

  At like 9:30 AM, I had a big old headache, and I walked in the living room and Jesse was in a really good mood.

• 3:34Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 3:34Wes Larson?

  And I was like, "Man, I've been listening to this song lately a lot that I really love. Do you want to hear it?" And we had this joke where we'll just like, play Smooth for everything. You know, she'll say like, "Oh, I love this song by whoever," and she'll just put on Smooth, or I'll put on Smooth. And so we listened to Smooth like 10 times in a row this morning. It's a great song. It doesn't get old, so, anyway.

• 3:57Mike Smith?

  It did there for a little bit.

• 3:59Wes Larson?

  Yeah, it did. You're right.

• 4:00Mike Smith?

  It was on every radio station for three years.

• 4:03Wes Larson?

  It got old, but now it doesn't. Song of the summer, baby, Smooth.

• 4:08Mike Smith?

  Still.

• 4:09Wes Larson?

  Carlos Santana with Rob Thomas.

• 4:11Mike Smith?

  25 years running song of the summer.

• 4:13Wes Larson?

  Alright, well, I got a story today, whether you like it or not. And to be honest, I had worked quite a bit on a different episode, because it kind of felt like it was time to do a new Critter. But then I realized that it's a very important week here in North America and kind of worldwide, which is Shark Week. And Shark Week has really turned into, uh, a very different thing than it was when it came out, I think, and we'll talk about that a little bit. But, um, for me, I just kind of wanted to do a shark episode because of that. I don't know why, it kind of gets in my bones. Go ahead, Mike. What did I say weird there?

• 4:50Mike Smith?

  I just, when did Shark Week come out? That's just a really funny way to phrase that to me.

• 4:55Wes Larson?

  I feel like Shark Week's been going on for the better part of my life.

• 4:58Mike Smith?

  Hmm, okay.

• 4:59Wes Larson?

  Like, since like, the late 90s, early 2000s, but I'd have to look into that.

• 5:03Mike Smith?

  I mean, it is kind of a product at this point, but it just kind of seemed like a product launch, which, yeah, it more or less is.

• 5:11Wes Larson?

  What do you guys think of Shark Week?

• 5:12Mike Smith?

  Michael Phelps is what I think, when they-

• 5:15Wes Larson?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:16Mike Smith?

  They said he was gonna race a shark, and then it just was, that's another one of the most disappointing moments of my life, is the buildup to that event.

• 5:24Jeff Larson?

  You were excited for it?

• 5:25Mike Smith?

  I was, because you know, Michael Phelps is the man, and then it was just like- This is not at all what I was promised. Not at all.

• 5:35Wes Larson?

  They really have just thrown everything at the wall with Shark Week. I think my favorite year was like the Jackass year, because someone actually got attacked by a shark. But I have really complicated feelings about Shark Week. I think, overall, it's a net positive. I think they've gotten pretty good at their messaging and picking people that are big fans of sharks, and people that are gonna actually like, give a good message about, you know, shark conservation and stuff. But then I also feel like, on the other hand, they just have to keep upping the ante of like, crazy ideas to do around sharks, and like, megalodon.

• 6:10Jeff Larson?

  Kind of funny you're saying this right after saying Jackass was your favorite title.

• 6:16Wes Larson?

  For sure, for sure. I know, it's very hypocritical of me. Uh, but I do, I feel like, that when it started, it was a lot about attacks, and, and they didn't always do a good job of representing the sharks in those attack stories. They were like, very dramatized and-

• 6:34Jeff Larson?

  They didn't let the sharks talk.

• 6:36Wes Larson?

  They didn't let the sharks talk.

• 6:37Mike Smith?

  Get both sides of the story.

• 6:38Wes Larson?

  So, I don't know, I, I kind of just go all, all over with it, but I think it's good overall. Anyway, what do you guys think? You guys big Shark Week fans, or not pretty ambivalent? Like, what do you, how do you feel about Shark Week?

• 6:51Jeff Larson?

  I don't think, well, I mean, I was gonna give this take at the categories, but I'll do it now.

• 6:57Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Jeff Larson?

  I think a week every year is just too much time, even though they're really cool.

• 7:02Wes Larson?

  It should be like World Cup, like every four years.

• 7:04Jeff Larson?

  It's just like, after three years of watching Shark Week for a week, it's like, I've seen most of all you're gonna show me here, you know?

• 7:13Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 7:14Jeff Larson?

  Like, I want to see some great whites jump out of the ocean.

• 7:17Mike Smith?

  Yeah, I feel similarly. I feel like they need, either need to lean even more heavily into it, and just commodify, and-

• 7:24Wes Larson?

  Like, just have a shark channel?

• 7:26Mike Smith?

  Every single thing needs to be just shark themed. Uh, shark sandwiches.

• 7:31Jeff Larson?

  What's that shark drummer?

• 7:32Mike Smith?

  Everyone dresses up like sharks. Yeah, Jabberjaw.

• 7:35Wes Larson?

  Jabberjaw.

• 7:36Jeff Larson?

  Have like Travis Barker as Jabberjaw every like, break.

• 7:41Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 7:44Mike Smith?

  Just play us out to commercial, Travis. It's just a sick drum solo.

• 7:49Wes Larson?

  It does kind of feel like they've done all their good ideas. Um, I was watching some of it-

• 7:54Mike Smith?

  Jeff just kind of came up with a new one, so I don't know, there's a lot of fertile ground here.

• 8:01Wes Larson?

  I was watching trailers, and like, one of them, my, like, a friend of mine is in, who's a shark researcher, but the show just kind of, they look like they're just trying to pull drama out of nowhere these days, and, I don't know, it's kind of hard. But, anyway, happy Shark Week, everyone. As you're listening to this, if you're not a Patreon member, Shark Week just finished, but hopefully you enjoyed it. And I do think July is the perfect time of the year for Shark Week, because it's hot out, people are going to the water, it's a fun kind of time to think about sharks. And weirdly, I also think about dinosaurs a lot in July. I don't know why, but I kind of do.

• 8:39Mike Smith?

  It's nice, as humans, we just have a place we can all go to cool off when it's hot out. What do sharks do when it's hot out, you know?

• 8:46Wes Larson?

  They go deeper.

• 8:47Mike Smith?

  Oh, that's a good point. I'm an idiot. Now it's my turn to leave, hold on.

• 8:52Wes Larson?

  All right. Uh, I was about to ask Mike a question.

• 8:56Jeff Larson?

  No, she asked me. I'll answer as Mike.

• 8:59Wes Larson?

  No, it's specifically for Mike. I have to wait for him, Jeff. Mike, you left at a bad time because I have a question that's specifically for you to lead off this episode. Recently, you brought up something that makes you feel better than anything else in the world. Do you remember what that is?

• 9:18Wes Larson?

  As I was reading that question, I was like, why did you write this like this, Wes? This is the worst worded question for our show. No, you said on the, on an episode that like, there's a thing you can do that gives you more relief than anything out there.

• 9:33Jeff Larson?

  Oh, I know what it is. Can I answer?

• 9:35Mike Smith?

  Jeff, yeah, steal it.

• 9:37Jeff Larson?

  Quitting a job.

• 9:38Wes Larson?

  Quitting a job.

• 9:40Mike Smith?

  Oh my gosh, you are right. Yeah.

• 9:43Wes Larson?

  Nothing hits just like quitting a job that you hate. And boy, did 26 year old Kenny doubt want to quit his job in 1979. Kenny was five months post divorce and the pain of separation seemed to get worse and worse every single day. He really missed his two sons, which were both toddlers more than anything. And he had been sleeping on his friend Jack's couch for a while. He's waking up every morning to cold coastal Oregon rain. He's living near seaside Oregon, which is an incredibly beautiful place, but during a really cold, wet winter,

• 10:20Wes Larson?

  that relentless damp, cold gray weather can be really depressing for just about anyone aside from Mike, who loves that kind of weather.

• 10:29Mike Smith?

  Oh.

• 10:30Wes Larson?

  Do you have a cap?

• 10:32Jeff Larson?

  Jacob and Twilight.

• 10:34Wes Larson?

  Jacob and Twilight. Does love it. Yeah. And Edward.

• 10:37Jeff Larson?

  Even though Edward got Bella, I kinda do think Edward got depressed in the weather still.

• 10:43Wes Larson?

  Yeah, he was always kinda depressed.

• 10:44Jeff Larson?

  Although he is a vampire, so that weather's pretty good for him, huh?

• 10:48Wes Larson?

  That's why they live there. That's why they live there.

• 10:51Jeff Larson?

  Oh my god. That makes so much sense.

• 10:53Mike Smith?

  You're putting it together now?

• 10:55Wes Larson?

  Anyway, for a lot of people, this can be really depressing weather, and especially when it's like really cold there too and raining. I, I can see how the winters would be pretty hard and Kenny was really depressed. To make matters worse, he absolutely hated his job. For about a month now, he'd been working at a construction site, pounding nails all day and pouring cold rain. He's getting really old, really fast. And to make matters worse, the construction site was on this bluff overlooking the ocean and one of the nicest surfing breaks in the area, which seems like a plus to most people. Like if you're working in a construction site,

• 11:33Wes Larson?

  it might as well be in a beautiful place. But if you absolutely love surfing and you have to watch other people doing what you love all day long and you're just stuck working, I can see how that would be a very special kind of torture.

• 11:47Jeff Larson?

  Yeah. I will say when I, when I was laying pipe for construction.

• 11:53Mike Smith?

  Phrasing, but sure.

• 11:56Jeff Larson?

  The, the guy who like worked the excavator, my boss, he would like reminisce about when he had a job in the desert because how pretty it was. Sure. It's like, oh, back where I did this in the desert. That was life.

• 12:14Wes Larson?

  Yeah. I mean, there are people out there that like love doing this kind of thing and, and but Kenny, Kenny didn't. He hated it. And um, on a cold late November day in 79, as he's watching these surfers in their thick wet suits catching waves in the drizzle, he makes up his mind to quit his job pretty much immediately. He decides he'll finish out the day just to kind of do his boss that small favor and then he's gonna quit. And the next day he's gonna go surfing. He's gonna try and figure out his life, his life in the waves. But the second he made this decision, the second he thought, I'm quitting my job, he felt immediately better.

• 12:53Wes Larson?

  Like it felt like the sun came out. There's like birds chirping. He just felt this huge sense of relief.

• 13:00Mike Smith?

  Yeah, but pretty soon he'll be looking back up at the work site and being like, oh, man, I miss it.

• 13:05Wes Larson?

  I miss it so much up there. Pounding nails.

• 13:08Mike Smith?

  Pounding those nails in with my pruney fingers.

• 13:11Jeff Larson?

  And now that he doesn't have a job, he's probably pretty happy. He doesn't have those damn kids with him.

• 13:19Wes Larson?

  He's like, I don't miss my kids anymore.

• 13:23Jeff Larson?

  He's like, I don't need, I can afford for just myself.

• 13:26Wes Larson?

  I can just go surfing now. Exactly. So he actually didn't even wait until the next day to go surfing though. He was so happy and so relieved that he quit his job. When he left the job site that afternoon, after telling the foreman he wasn't coming back, he pulls into Jack's driveway, his friend, and yells at him to get his board and to get ready. And Jack sticks this messy head of like surfer blonde hair out the door and tells him he'll be out in a couple of minutes.

• 13:53Jeff Larson?

  I love that. That's like, yeah. You'd need a friend who's just ready to go whenever, you know?

• 14:01Mike Smith?

  Yep. My bad, Jeff.

• 14:03Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, you're not that. It's all right.

• 14:05Wes Larson?

  You are not that person.

• 14:07Jeff Larson?

  I learned that early on.

• 14:09Mike Smith?

  Yeah, I appreciate that.

• 14:10Jeff Larson?

  Sometimes I'll just like pitch you a softball where it's like, but just give them one that's easy to say no to.

• 14:17Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Mike Smith?

  The best thing, uh, the best thing you could do.

• 14:23Wes Larson?

  I, it's uniquely, I think, hard for me, Mike, because I do think I'm a person that's pretty good at like convincing people to do things. And you are completely immune to all of my tactics. Like you are just not only immune, but they have the opposite effect on you where they make you just like really not want to go. And it's like, been really hard for me to shape my brain around that. I hate it.

• 14:46Mike Smith?

  I'm not proud of it, but it is the way I am. Working on it.

• 14:50Wes Larson?

  Yeah. Well, anyway, uh, Jack says he's ready to go. He'll be out in a couple of minutes. They're both really stoked to get out in the water. And they're so stoked that they actually overlooked a few things that later would become things that Kenny would always pay attention to. First of all, a big storm in Hawaii had pushed eastward toward the Pacific coast and had driven large schools of fish closer to shore. Observant Oregon beachgoers were noticing a lot of fish breaking the surface out in the waves. And that means there is probably bigger, more predatory fish underneath, pushing them to the surface. Also, sea lions had enjoyed perfect pupping conditions the entire year, and there were record numbers of sea lions around.

• 15:36Wes Larson?

  Most importantly, Kenny and all of the other surfers in the water that week had ignored two really important pieces of information that should have kept them out of the water. Elk Creek had flooded and was dumping a lot of muddy water into the ocean near Cannon Beach and Haystack Rock. And that's right where these guys are. It had created really murky water and perfect hunting conditions for large stealthy underwater predators. And the number one thing that they ignored or missed was that morning in the newspaper, there was a story from some fishermen that had witnessed a large shark attack a bull sea lion in Tillamook Bay, which was about 30 miles south of where they were about ready to go surfing.

• 16:19Wes Larson?

  But this shark had tossed this massive sea lion in the air like it was a toy. And then it ate the huge sea lion in front of these stunned fishermen. It was like so crazy that it was newsworthy. So all of these pieces.

• 16:33Jeff Larson?

  They don't have cars or boats or anything.

• 16:35Wes Larson?

  They can cover 30 miles in very little time. It's not hard for a great white to be, they're swimming. They swim, Jeff.

• 16:42Jeff Larson?

  Oh yeah.

• 16:43Wes Larson?

  Sharks are in the water.

• 16:44Jeff Larson?

  Michael Phelps.

• 16:46Wes Larson?

  Yep, just like Michael Phelps.

• 16:49Wes Larson?

  All of these pieces should have fit together to form a picture that warned any surfer in the area to maybe stay out of the water until conditions improved. But nothing was gonna stop Kenny from surfing after quitting this job that he absolutely detested. So these guys probably should have stayed out of the water, but nothing was gonna stop him. So they run into the water at that point and Kenny had been forced to watch the spot from his work site. So he's happy to go into that spot. And they surf perfect waves in the frigid water until it's too dark to surf anymore. They go up on the beach. Some of the other surfers that were there had built this bonfire. And Kenny's warming himself on the bonfire after a cold afternoon of surfing and just deciding,

• 17:30Wes Larson?

  you know, thinking to himself, that was the best decision I ever made. I'm so happy I quit my job.

• 17:35Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, I'm kinda glad we're doing a story with no attacks, just like a happy story.

• 17:41Wes Larson?

  Let's move on to our category.

• 17:42Jeff Larson?

  He had a good day surfing after quitting his job.

• 17:46Wes Larson?

  Huh. Maybe I should cut the rest of this. The next day was the 27th of November, and it's one of the first mornings in a while that Kenny had woken up free of depressive sadness. Sometimes that's Thanksgiving. I don't think it is in this case. He's ready to spend the entire day surfing with some of his best friends. His terrible job's already becoming a distant memory. So he makes some breakfast and coffee in an effort to get Jack out of bed. Jack's kind of having a hard time getting up so that they can get out to the ocean as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, down on the sand at Cannon Beach, a city worker is using a front end loader, a tractor to clean storm debris from this popular beach.

• 18:29Wes Larson?

  So Cannon Beach is like one of the closer beaches to Portland. It's only, I think, about an hour drive. And it's got that really big monolithic rock. Like if you've ever seen, seen the Goonies, they use Cannon Beach in the Goonies. It's beautiful. It's like one of the more beautiful parts of the country. I'm surprised that you haven't been there, Mike, since you probably lived in Oregon at some point.

• 18:51Mike Smith?

  Born there, baby.

• 18:52Wes Larson?

  Yeah, but Cannon Beach is great. I think it's, it's one of the more recognizable beaches in the world.

• 18:57Mike Smith?

  Uh, is there a cannon there? Are there cannons?

• 18:59Wes Larson?

  I don't know why it's called Cannon Beach. So yeah, but there's a huge, huge rock out in the water called Haystack Rock. It's a really popular beach. So this guy is cleaning all the sea debris off, sea debris, uh, off of the beach, like seaweed, driftwood, whatever. And as he's pushing a large load of debris, he notices a huge shape in the middle of the seaweed. So he gets out to inspect it and he's shocked by what he finds. It's a huge sea lion, or rather half of a huge sea lion. And it seemed impossible to this guy that such a big animal could be bitten in half. But everything behind the front flippers of this sea lion is gone. And its milky dead eyes are staring up into this gray Oregon sky.

• 19:44Wes Larson?

  And as he's clearing this huge mammal from the beach, he's wondering just how big of a predator must be out there to so cleanly rip a big sea lion in half. And then he shudders to himself and continues down the beach.

• 19:59Wes Larson?

  For me, summer has always just been a time where I try and wear whatever clothes are the coolest and make me feel the most comfortable when it's hot outside. But in autumn, I often kind of feel a necessity to get some new things in my closet. And that's why I really like shopping at Quince. Quince is all about fewer, better pieces. Their clothes are made with premium materials, they're built to last, and they're designed to become the ones you reach for day after day. And that's true. I got some corduroy pants from them. I absolutely love. I have a sweater that I always get compliments on. And then my favorite sunglasses ever are from Quince. They specialize in everyday staples that work harder, like their ultra soft organic cotton tees, their

• 20:39Wes Larson?

  premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters, they're versatile, they're timeless, and they work for a casual workday to a night out to just about anything. I actually just ordered some underwear from Quince, and they're incredibly comfortable. I couldn't be happier with them. I think they're gonna be great in the summer and the fall. I just absolutely love them. And Quince is not just clothing. Quince has become a go to for everything from hotel quality bedding to bath essentials to premium cookware and travel must haves. So upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers, or go to quince.com/tooth. Get free shipping on your order

• 21:17Wes Larson?

  and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash tooth. So when Kenny and Jack get to the point that they had surfed the previous night, the swells from the storm are really big, but they're pretty messy, and neither of the surfers really feel good about surfing there. So they decide to head to Cannon Beach, where there's this massive monolith of haystack rock towering above the waves.

• 21:45Mike Smith?

  You think maybe the sea lion got hit by that cannon, right?

• 21:48Wes Larson?

  It could have been shot in half by the cannon. Yeah.

• 21:53Wes Larson?

  So they go to Cannon Beach. The waves are a lot better. There are some surfers out already. But Jack says, hey, I want to check one spot further south before we decide, even though Kenny is just like itching to get in the water. So they go to this spot like three miles to the south. It's totally blown out as well. So they head back to Cannon. Right as the sun starts breaking through the clouds and just again reinforcing Kenny's decision to quit his job and focus on surfing. So when they get back to Cannon, they notice that some of the surfers were paddling in even though the swells are still perfect and breaking perfectly. And as Jack and Kenny are walking out, they pass these incoming surfers. They knew them, and they asked them why they were leaving. And one of them says, we saw something in the water.

• 22:40Wes Larson?

  Both Jack and Kenny had surfed countless waves in this area, and they knew that sea lions and dolphins were pretty common and were almost always to blame for any kind of like underwater shadows or things you might see in the water. And no one had really ever been bitten by a shark in the area. So they were just, they considered like shark worries as worries for surfers farther south in California. And these surfers getting a scare from this mystery shadow just meant more waves for Kenny and Jack.

• 23:09Jeff Larson?

  That's ironic.

• 23:11Wes Larson?

  How's that ironic?

• 23:13Jeff Larson?

  Cause Kenny supposedly loves quitting and he's the only one not quitting.

• 23:17Wes Larson?

  Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you should have quit this too. Maybe you would have felt even better. What they didn't know was that the something in the water that the other surfers had seen was no sea lion or dolphin, but rather the worst nightmare of a sea lion or a dolphin. It was a massive, solitary adult great white shark, and had perfect conditions for hunting, and that had brought it to the shallow waters of Cannon Beach. As it's cruising effortlessly just beneath the surface out by Haystack Rock, the regular sounds of the surfers piques its interest, and a single flick of its tail propels it toward the rolling and crashing waves.

• 23:58Wes Larson?

  So Kenny runs into the water, and right as he's getting into the water, a big splash erupts next to the side of him. And he looks over surprised to see his other friend Josh running much faster than him and splashing into the water on top of his board. So that we have Josh, Jack, and Kenny now. Josh had also realized that Cannon had the best waves that morning, and he's laughing as he outpaced Kenny into the water and out to these sets of waves. And what I kind of understood from this story is Kenny's a really good surfer, but most of the people he surfed with were like near professional, like they're really incredible surfers. So he's in some really good company.

• 24:36Mike Smith?

  How fast is Josh, right? That's his name? He was running pretty quick?

• 24:39Wes Larson?

  He's no Michael Phelps, Mike.

• 24:42Mike Smith?

  What's that really funny joke you say up in Montana every once in a while about not needing to be faster than the bear?

• 24:48Wes Larson?

  Oh, the bear. Yeah. I don't ever say that joke, but a lot of people do. You only be faster than the bear. You just need to be faster than your friend.

• 24:58Mike Smith?

  Jeff.

• 24:59Jeff Larson?

  What?

• 25:01Mike Smith?

  Are you laughing? That's crazy.

• 25:03Jeff Larson?

  I don't think it's fun.

• 25:04Mike Smith?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 25:04Wes Larson?

  I get sent that one a lot still. And the other one that people send me all the time is like the photo of a bear's ears and then being like, if not friend, why friend shaped?

• 25:14Mike Smith?

  Jeff.

• 25:15Wes Larson?

  Just like.

• 25:16Jeff Larson?

  I like that.

• 25:17Mike Smith?

  That one's funny. See? Oh, we can agree on that much at least.

• 25:20Wes Larson?

  So many times. Yeah.

• 25:22Jeff Larson?

  My thing is, I wouldn't, if my friend's getting attacked by a bear, I wouldn't want to live with myself if I just ran away.

• 25:29Mike Smith?

  That's funny. Jeff.

• 25:35Wes Larson?

  All right. So it isn't long before all three of these men are catching waves in this murky water. And then they're joined by two other local surfers and friends who are named Steve and Al. It's a perfect morning.

• 25:47Mike Smith?

  Owls.

• 25:48Wes Larson?

  Al, Al, A L. And Kenny couldn't be happier to quit his job. Money is just a worry for another day for him right now.

• 25:57Jeff Larson?

  Al?

• 25:58Wes Larson?

  Al, as in Al Borland.

• 26:03Mike Smith?

  You're gonna laugh at that, but not the bear joke, Jeff?

• 26:10Wes Larson?

  All right. Kenny catches a perfect wave, and he's already reliving it in his head as he's paddling out toward the other four surfers who are in the lineup. He's just so stoked. I mean, the kind of excitement you really only can have the day after you quit your job, or like the first day of summer break if you're a kid in school.

• 26:29Jeff Larson?

  Mmm, yeah. Good call.

• 26:31Wes Larson?

  All four of these other surfers are paddling out toward Haystack in anticipation of the next set of waves. And Josh and Jack are sitting on their board shivering in the frigid water. And as Kenny is paddling out through the breakers, a 15 foot great white shark, one of the most successful and refined predators to ever live on our planet, cruises silently under the four surfers sitting on their boards without even making a ripple. Josh, Jack, Al, and Steve have no idea how close they just came to the world's most perfect predator, much like what happens every single day in surf breaks around the world. And I do want to stress this, every

• 27:11Wes Larson?

  single day, there are surfers that have great white sharks swimming under them, around them, near them, hundreds of times, and they do absolutely nothing. This story that we are about to tell is by far the exception to the rule.

• 27:29Wes Larson?

  This shark was in hunting mode. The large number of sea lions, the murky water, the low light morning conditions had been exactly what it had been searching for. And this switch from curiosity to predation was flipped when it picks up on the erratic vibrations and sounds of splashing coming from the breaking waves. It circles around the unknown dark colored, elongated creature that's clumsily propelling itself across the surface, Kenny on his surfboard, and then it picks up speed to go investigate. It opens the only part of its body built for actual physical investigation, and it reveals rows of sharp serrated pearly white teeth.

• 28:10Wes Larson?

  Steve looks out across the water. He's looking into the breakers, and he really can't believe what his eyes are seeing. A large gray shape had risen out of the water, and then he watched as a huge pectoral fin, which are the side fins on a shark, rises horizontally out of the water as the great white shark turns on its side, opens its mouth, and his friend Kenny disappears.

• 28:34Jeff Larson?

  Wow.

• 28:35Wes Larson?

  It had only lasted seconds.

• 28:36Jeff Larson?

  Oh, man. You didn't put this category in, but Instagram moment? That would be a cool photo.

• 28:43Wes Larson?

  What this really reminds me of, and I think it's like kind of a perfect representation, is the scene in Jaws where the kid is out on his little float, and like the mom looks out in time, or whoever looks out in time just to see the shark like rolling and its fins go up in the air and stuff. That's pretty much exactly what Steve just saw.

• 29:02Jeff Larson?

  If it got airborne, that's even another level.

• 29:05Wes Larson?

  It didn't though. It was just like, it just kind of rolled out of the water. Yeah. Just like in Jaws.

• 29:11Jeff Larson?

  Spielberg knew.

• 29:12Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Jeff Larson?

  Just like Disclosure Day.

• 29:16Mike Smith?

  He disclosed to that shark's behavior accurately. He's so good at his job.

• 29:23Wes Larson?

  So this sight had only lasted a couple seconds, but Steve had clearly seen the gills, the eye, and the teeth of the shark. And now he's paralyzed staring at the spot of the water where his friend and his surfboard had just been. He turns to look at Jack, who's next to him, and Jack's also staring at that spot of water. And Jack had actually made eye contact with Kenny while the shark pulled him underwater.

• 29:49Wes Larson?

  Meanwhile.

• 29:49Jeff Larson?

  Mike would probably get bored and like look away. He'd be like, oh wow. And then stop looking.

• 29:55Wes Larson?

  He's like, hey, I have a movie to watch at home alone. Can I please leave?

• 30:00Mike Smith?

  John Carter, dude. Movie's not gonna watch itself. Uh, yeah, I wouldn't have not even been out there in the first place, I think.

• 30:07Wes Larson?

  That's a good point. Meanwhile, Kenny.

• 30:09Jeff Larson?

  Saying you can't even listen to my hot sauce stories.

• 30:13Mike Smith?

  I listened to like eight times. I kept asking you to tell that story. I liked it so much. I kept telling you to tell everyone we met for the rest of that day.

• 30:23Wes Larson?

  All right, we're right in the middle of the interesting part of the story, so I'm gonna keep going.

• 30:30Wes Larson?

  Meanwhile, Kenny hadn't seen the shark coming, but he simply heard the roar of the water as it rushed into his ears. And the jaws of the shark ripped into the flesh of his back and the foam of his board, pinning Kenny to his board. So just to picture this, like, the shark bit him and it was such a big shark that it was able to get most of his back and then the underside of the board at the same time. So he kind of has like a Kenny sandwich with his board. And they're stuck together.

• 31:00Jeff Larson?

  But interesting because the board, it seems, is almost keeping him from getting like bitten into pieces.

• 31:08Wes Larson?

  We're gonna, we're gonna talk about that here in a second. He thought that maybe a sea lion had pulled him a couple of feet underwater. And at this point, he's more annoyed than he is scared. And the buoyancy of his surfboard brings him back up to the surface. He's still in the jaws of the shark. And then he feels himself get lifted into the air and smacked back down on the surface, still pinned to this board. As he feels this immense pressure on his chest, he starts to hear and feel his ribs snapping in his chest. And then he turns to face this mystery attacker and he sees the fifteen foot sideways body of the shark extending out from his board with a five foot pectoral fin sticking up in the air.

• 31:51Wes Larson?

  And I just want you guys to take a second because I did this yesterday when I was thinking about the story. To picture some, like, picture fifteen feet away from you. Like, Mike, your bookcase behind you is probably ten feet away from you. So picture like five more feet. And that's a really big animal. Like, I don't think we really realize just how big a fifteen foot animal is. It's really, really big.

• 32:15Mike Smith?

  That would be annoying.

• 32:17Wes Larson?

  It'd be crazy annoying as.

• 32:20Jeff Larson?

  Plus, like, our bit, our, like, tallest humans.

• 32:25Wes Larson?

  I hate you guys so much.

• 32:27Jeff Larson?

  Our tallest humans get like close to like eight feet, but they're always like so thin. They're like just skeletons.

• 32:35Wes Larson?

  And this, yeah, this is like a massive.

• 32:37Jeff Larson?

  Beefy.

• 32:38Wes Larson?

  Yeah, they are beefy, beefy girls.

• 32:41Jeff Larson?

  I think it'd be more than annoying.

• 32:42Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 32:43Jeff Larson?

  I know Mike hates when I correct his grammar, but I honestly think it'd be even worse than annoying.

• 32:49Mike Smith?

  You're right. Yeah, no, that's.

• 32:52Wes Larson?

  So seeing this big of an animal like and realizing that it's biting you. And you see its tail thrashing fifteen feet away would probably like kind of break your brain. And its tail is thrashing through the water. It's really trying to submerge Kenny in the board again. And Kenny knows he's about to die. He's being attacked by a bigger shark than even knew existed. And it feels like the one he had just seen in Jaws. This is four years after Jaws came out. And he thinks that he probably only has seconds to live. Images of kids are flashing of his kids, not just kids. It's an important distinction. It's a very important distinction.

• 33:33Jeff Larson?

  Still correct, though.

• 33:37Wes Larson?

  Still correct, but it is important.

• 33:38Jeff Larson?

  Mess up, but you could have been more clear.

• 33:42Wes Larson?

  Oh, man.

• 33:44Mike Smith?

  Brother.

• 33:45Wes Larson?

  Images of his kids flash through his mind as the shark thrashes him back and forth like Andre 3000 thrashing a Polaroid picture.

• 33:55Mike Smith?

  Thrash it like a Polaroid picture. I think that was the lyric, yeah.

• 33:59Wes Larson?

  The shark is trying to tear through him, but this board is kind of holding them together like Jeff just said. And he's being whipped around and as he's being whipped around, his eyes actually meet the eyes of his friend Steve, who's not far away. Kenny starts screaming for help, but Steve and Jack start paddling for shore, worried that they're gonna be next on the menu for this shark. Kenny continues to scream for help as both Steve and Jack paddle away, making eye contact with their dying friend as they leave and yelling at Al and Josh to get out of the water too. Al and Josh also pass by rushing to get to safety. And then Kenny feels completely alone out in the water and he knows he's about to get eaten alive. He doesn't blame his friends, though, because he thought

• 34:44Wes Larson?

  there was nothing they could do against this huge shark and he didn't want them to die as well. Now, like in 2026, what do we know about intervening if someone's being attacked by a shark?

• 34:55Mike Smith?

  It actually does work.

• 34:58Jeff Larson?

  You gotta just be a faster swimmer than your friends.

• 35:06Mike Smith?

  A twist on an old classic. That's, I don't care who you are. That's funny right there.

• 35:12Wes Larson?

  Yeah, it, it does work. Like, often if someone else jumps in the water near a shark that's attacking someone, it's, it's like a big enough threat to the shark that they're not working.

• 35:25Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, off of your board? Or can you just paddle over there?

• 35:28Wes Larson?

  You could just paddle over. In this, in this situation, just paddling over would probably be good. But there have been instances too where that person ends up getting bitten as well. So I don't really blame these guys. I, I think at the time they were operating on the information they had. And for them at the time, this is probably the height of thinking that great white sharks are just the ultimate man eating machines, that they will stop at nothing to eat people. And they just wanted to get out of the water. And we know that's not true now. We know it's far from true, but they just, you know, they decide to leave. And Kenny didn't blame him and I don't necessarily blame him.

• 36:08Jeff Larson?

  It'd be like with us, it'd be like what you were saying earlier, Wes? Where you try to get Mike to do something and then he doesn't want to do it? So like he would have gone over to help you until you like locked eyes and said, come help.

• 36:22Wes Larson?

  Help. And he's like, nah, I'm good, actually.

• 36:24Mike Smith?

  I just folded my arms and be like, no, I don't actually think I will.

• 36:31Mike Smith?

  Maybe this is something you'll get into in its best safe for later, but would jumping in the water during a shark attack dissuade a predatory encounter with a shark? Or would that just be more if the shark is doing an exploratory bite?

• 36:44Wes Larson?

  I, so I just read a story about some bull sharks that were attacking a woman. And when a guy went, there was three different bull sharks. When a guy went out to assist, all three of them broke off their attack. And I think that was a predatory attack. I don't know. I, I, again, like, I don't think that it's one of those things where it's like, oh, groups of people with bears are incredibly effective all the time. I think with sharks, there is a little bit more nuance to it. But I think if you're a person that you're, you know, watching getting eaten alive or being killed by a shark, you probably should try and intervene in some way, even if that's just like splashing the water, doing whatever you can to try and get the shark off.

• 37:24Mike Smith?

  Sure. I'd hop in with you, Wes. I would.

• 37:27Wes Larson?

  Thanks, Mike.

• 37:28Mike Smith?

  Even if you asked.

• 37:29Wes Larson?

  Yes, and I do regret saying get the shark off just now. Um, so, yeah.

• 37:34Mike Smith?

  You got a couple forty and slips from you this episode.

• 37:38Wes Larson?

  Okay, so two more times Kenny is lifted into the air and slammed back down on the water. And on the third slam, he looks back at his body, expecting to see it torn in half. But instead, he sees the jaws of the shark still clamp down around his midsection, pinning him to the board. And just to kind of give you guys a reference for how big this shark is. The jaws extended from his armpit all the way down to the top of his left butt cheek. So it's a really big shark and it's biting within an inch of his spinal column.

• 38:10Jeff Larson?

  How tall is he?

• 38:11Wes Larson?

  Uh, he's a, he's like a.

• 38:13Jeff Larson?

  He's not a little.

• 38:14Wes Larson?

  Taller than six foot. No, he's not. He's a, he's a beefy boy, but in like beefy and strong and tall.

• 38:20Mike Smith?

  So like you, Jeff.

• 38:21Wes Larson?

  He's got a surfer bod.

• 38:22Mike Smith?

  Clear six feet easy.

• 38:23Wes Larson?

  Yeah, he does. So no matter how much he tries to hit this shark or twist free, it just continues biting down and shaking and tearing. And just as he's about to give up, the pressure releases and he finds himself floating in the water away from his board. He starts treading water. He's looking around rapidly. He's anticipating another strike from the shark. And as he watches, all of the water around him takes on this really dark red color.

• 38:52Jeff Larson?

  Beautiful.

• 38:53Wes Larson?

  Yeah. Then the adrenaline kicks in. He knows he has to get to safety. Um, I don't think he thought it was beautiful. I think, I think he thought it was scary.

• 39:03Jeff Larson?

  It sounds beautiful.

• 39:05Mike Smith?

  Yeah, that's, Homer was always writing in the Odyssey. He wrote that the sea was like a wine color. Uh huh. So Homer would maybe think it was beautiful.

• 39:14Wes Larson?

  I think seeing all this blood around him really kicks up his adrenaline and Kenny knows that he has to get to safety before the shark circles back in and takes another bite. So he swims the twenty feet to his board and then he starts paddling harder than he ever has in his life to close the hundred yards to shore. And this fear of the shark biting him again was so overwhelming that he's gasping for air both out of exertion and fear. And then he realizes something that's very disturbing. As he's gasping for air, he can hear the air rushing in and out of the open wound on his back. And it's gurg, it's gurgling as it mixes with blood and seawater. And he said it sounded like the last bits of ketchup being squeezed out of a plastic ketchup bottle.

• 39:59Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Wes Larson?

  Blood is gushing down his arms and across his board with every stroke, but he continues paddling, just totally determined to get to shore.

• 40:07Mike Smith?

  That's incredibly descriptive and I can hear that sound exactly in my brain, but that's not how I would imagine it sounding.

• 40:14Jeff Larson?

  Kind of like a fart.

• 40:15Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 40:16Jeff Larson?

  Like it's not, but it actually works too. Like, it's like, actually, yeah, I could see it making that noise, you know? Put in a sound effect of ketchup right here.

• 40:26Wes Larson?

  He has a collapsed lung and I think that's part of the reason it sounds so wet and like, and gross.

• 40:32Jeff Larson?

  And he's in water, so it's bubbling.

• 40:34Wes Larson?

  Yeah, blood and water. So it's like thick and viscous, kind of like ketchup.

• 40:38Jeff Larson?

  Like if you blow air into water, it makes kind of like a. You know?

• 40:44Wes Larson?

  Yeah, I agree. All right.

• 40:47Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, I guess you don't need this sound effect. I just made it.

• 40:49Wes Larson?

  We got it.

• 40:50Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Mike Smith?

  Takes a lot of work off of my shoulders. Thanks, Jeff.

• 40:54Wes Larson?

  A wave actually breaks right behind him and it pushes him forward. And as that happens, fear just washes over him because he's convinced it's the shark slamming into him again. And then that fear melts into relief because he realizes it's a wave and it's speeding him towards shore. And he gets into shore. He's floating in water that's now shallow enough that his fingers are brushing the sand. And he loses all of his strength and passes out on his board. He's floating in a pool of foamy, deep red blood and water. When I say pass out, I think I should rewind that. He's still conscious, but he just like loses all of his energy and just kind of goes limp on his board.

• 41:34Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, no, that a little example of that is when I ran a marathon and it's like, once you get to the end, you're just like, I can't even walk now. But like, I probably could have forced myself to run another mile. But then like, once you get to your destination, it's just like, okay, I can't do anything.

• 41:53Wes Larson?

  Right. Yeah, everything just kind of crashed. All that adrenaline, everything he was feeling just crashes. Steve, his friend, is already running to try and find a phone to call for help. The other three surfers splash into the water to pull their friend out and onto the safety of the beach. Blood is bubbling from the wounds along his ribs and his back. And they all look at each other with a knowing glance because they can also hear the sound of air rushing in and out of the wounds as he's struggling to breathe. They can also see the white tips of his broken ribs that are pointing out from his wet suit and all his ragged flesh. And as they go to pull him from his board and onto shore, gallons of blood spill out from his tattered wet suit.

• 42:34Jeff Larson?

  Oh, wow.

• 42:35Wes Larson?

  That's kind of holding him together. So they decide to try and figure out the best way they can get him onto the beach. They can actually see his heart and other organs pulsing within his rib cage.

• 42:47Mike Smith?

  What?

• 42:48Wes Larson?

  And yeah, and with each thump of his heart, blood is spurting into the air. So they know he's gonna die if they don't get help soon. So they roll him onto his back on the board and then they lift him up and carry him onto the beach. Kenny hadn't really felt any pain yet.

• 43:04Jeff Larson?

  Is that where stretchers were invented?

• 43:07Wes Larson?

  Surfboards?

• 43:08Jeff Larson?

  Like from this?

• 43:09Wes Larson?

  Hmm, no.

• 43:10Jeff Larson?

  After this, like, people were like, we should use this more often.

• 43:12Wes Larson?

  Need a better way to do this. Yeah.

• 43:16Mike Smith?

  Maybe it was the other way around, like forever ago, they had a stretcher and they rushed someone down to the beach and they're like, I bet we could use this to ride on the waves.

• 43:27Jeff Larson?

  Oh, they didn't carry him on the board. So stretchers hadn't been invented.

• 43:30Wes Larson?

  Yeah, so none of this is relevant. Yeah. Uh, but there is gonna be stretchers. Just you wait, Jeff. All right.

• 43:40Mike Smith?

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• 45:01Wes Larson?

  Kenny hadn't felt any pain yet. He's still conscious, but he's also like aware of this fact that he's about to die. He's no longer afraid of the shark coming back because he's on dry land and he's just ready. He starts to pass out as he's being carried onto the sand, but then Jack trips over his own surfing leash, falls down and they drop Kenny onto his back in the sand. And the pain just shocks through his body and brings him back into consciousness. And what else happens, Jeff?

• 45:29Jeff Larson?

  Sandy wounds.

• 45:30Wes Larson?

  Sandy wounds. Yeah, we do not like that on this, on this show.

• 45:35Mike Smith?

  It gets everywhere.

• 45:37Wes Larson?

  And it's coarse.

• 45:39Mike Smith?

  Annoying.

• 45:40Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Wes Larson?

  Kenny, uh, so now like residents and other surfers on the bluffs and around the water had seen Kenny being pulled from the water and the blood all around him. And they're calling for ambulances, knowing that this situation's really serious and he's critically injured. Meanwhile, Steve doesn't know that an ambulance had already been called. And he's rushing around looking for a phone. He's pounding on doors of like residents around the beach. No one's answering. And so he finally finds a house where he can see a phone. He breaks in and when he breaks in, there's like a guard dog that's like snarling and growling at him.

• 46:17Mike Smith?

  Oh, no.

• 46:18Wes Larson?

  And yeah, he like kind of tiptoes around it and it doesn't go for him. He gets to the phone. And he's just like fully panicked. Can't remember the number for 911. So he dials zero for the operator. And he says, I have an emergency. And the operator's like, call 911. And he's like, no. My friend's been attacked by a shark. I need you to call them for me. We're on Cannon Beach. Call them. And the operator's like, fine, I'll call them. And Steve drops the phone, turns to go out of the house and this dog lunges for him. And he managed to like sidestep the dog, run for the door and close the door right as the dog's jumping for him again and stops the dog from getting him. So almost two attacks.

• 47:03Wes Larson?

  He runs to his truck and he drives to the fire station just to make sure that help is on the way. But police, firemen, paramedics, and journalists had all heard this call about a shark attack and they're all speeding toward Cannon Beach. This isn't normal for Cannon Beach, for Oregon. So this like really, everyone like kind of drops everything and, and gets there. Steve sees the ambulance. He flips a like high speed U-turn in his truck, follows the ambulance until it skids to a stop on the gravel overlooking the beach. Meanwhile, Josh is doing his best to comfort Kenny. He's trying to like actually hold the torn flesh together to stem, to stem all the bleeding.

• 47:43Wes Larson?

  And now Kenny's pain is getting really intense. He's moaning, he's screaming, and it had kind of become too much for Jack. So Jack ran to find more help. Other surfers are arriving on the scene. Two of them named Tom and Mike had joined Josh and trying to help keep Kenny as comfortable as possible as he's bleeding out onto the sand. And there's so much blood that everyone who arrived on the scene knew that they were watching a man die. Mike's girlfriend, who's a nurse, gets there and pretty much says all they can do is try and keep him warm and comfortable. And so they're kind of wrapping him up in blankets and one of the tourists that was there is like, here, let me help. And as he steps in to help, he sees all the injuries and he like vomits and has to leave.

• 48:26Wes Larson?

  So don't do that. If you're ever like wanting to help, make sure that you're able to like see some gross stuff first, because that wouldn't help at all.

• 48:35Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 48:35Wes Larson?

  Kenny starts to feel his consciousness and his life slipping away. But then he hears the distant siren and the thought of his two boys goes into his head and he knows he has to stay alive for them. He knew that if he closed his eyes, that he would never open them again. So he fights to keep them open as the ambulance comes out onto the sand and two paramedics slide him onto a stretcher, Jeff.

• 48:59Jeff Larson?

  Oh, wow.

• 49:00Wes Larson?

  He's on a stretcher. Yeah.

• 49:02Mike Smith?

  It'd be good if they had like-

• 49:03Wes Larson?

  Just been surfing with it.

• 49:05Mike Smith?

  The clockwork orange thing where they pried his eyeballs open and they just showed him footage of his children. That would work really well.

• 49:12Wes Larson?

  It would work.

• 49:15Wes Larson?

  Kenny's pulse is thready and barely there when these paramedics take it. And they know that he needs blood and he needs it really fast. He has no blood pressure. And he's hypothermic. So they cut his wet suit from his body. They hook him up to an IV and they try and get him covered in blankets as they load him into the ambulance. And Kenny is thinking about how much his wet suit costs as they do this. He's like, that's a $250 wet suit.

• 49:39Jeff Larson?

  Get another job.

• 49:41Wes Larson?

  Yeah, which is like a small fortune. But um, he then feels pressure on his wounds as they wrap him in trauma bandages. And they put him in these specialized pants that increase pressure on the legs. And that pushes blood up to your vital organs. Um, which I'd never really heard of before. Yeah, they're skinny jeans. Yep. They're like 2006 emo pants is what they called them.

• 50:04Mike Smith?

  Oh dude, for a whole like 10 year stretch there, we were all safe from shark attacks, kind of.

• 50:09Wes Larson?

  We were. Yeah, our vitals were just fine.

• 50:13Wes Larson?

  Yeah. The paramedics speed off. They call into the hospital. They start describing Kenny's wounds. And this is what they said. The victim has a deep laceration on the left side of his body, running from just below his armpit to the middle of his buttocks, extending across his back, almost to his spine. There's also a major laceration across his left buttock. That's how deep the laceration is. He has lost most of his blood. You can see his ribs. His flesh is laid back in a four to six inch strip. This guy is in really bad shape. When the paramedics were probably not too optimistic about Kenny, he's starting to feel a lot more optimistic himself. He had faith that they could put him back together, but at

• 50:56Wes Larson?

  the moment, really, all he wanted was to be warmer. He'd lost about six pints at this moment of his blood, which is about two thirds of his blood, and he's experiencing hypothermia as a result.

• 51:07Mike Smith?

  Do you know how much blood you can lose before it's just point of no return? It seems like that would be about it, right?

• 51:14Wes Larson?

  In the Todd Endros story, who was a California surfer that got attacked by a shark and then saved by the dolphins, or he thought he was saved by the dolphins at least, he lost half of his blood. And I remember him saying that his doctors told him that he couldn't lose any more blood than that and survive. And Kenny loses more than that. We're going to talk about how much he loses.

• 51:34Jeff Larson?

  Isn't the ambulance putting more blood in him though?

• 51:37Wes Larson?

  Not yet, because this is 79 and they don't know his blood type yet. And they don't have just like blood in ambulances. So they have an IV, and they're probably putting like saline and stuff in to try to help increase blood pressure. But at this point, they're just trying to keep him alive until they get him to the hospital.

• 51:55Mike Smith?

  Do you think it hurt Kenny's feelings when they said he wasn't in good shape?

• 51:59Wes Larson?

  Ah, probably. It would hurt my feelings.

• 52:03Mike Smith?

  I've been going to the gym pretty regularly. My bad.

• 52:06Wes Larson?

  So an interesting thing about the hypothermia angle to this that he brings up, and I'd never really thought about, is that he was really cold and he's suffering from hypothermia. But the hypothermia might have been what saved his life, because when you get hypothermia, it slows everything in your body down, and your vital organs need less blood and oxygen when you're hypothermic. Or I don't know if they need it, but it's like less is being wasted, essentially. So he kind of credits the hypothermia was saving his life. I'm sure someone who knows a lot more about human anatomy is going to write and say, that's actually wrong, Les, and I'm sorry, and I'll correct it if it is. But that's what he said in his book.

• 52:47Jeff Larson?

  His words, not ours.

• 52:49Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 52:49Mike Smith?

  In Star Wars, if someone gets bit by a rancor, do you think they just freeze him in carbonite would be the best move?

• 52:57Wes Larson?

  I think if a rancor bites you, you're gonna die, right?

• 53:00Mike Smith?

  Unless it's exploratory.

• 53:02Wes Larson?

  Yeah, if it just nibbled on you. Yeah, maybe carbonite would save you.

• 53:09Mike Smith?

  There you go.

• 53:09Wes Larson?

  When he gets to the, when he gets to the hospital, nurses are ordered to get a blood sample so they could find his blood type. And this was crazy to me. They stick a needle in his veins, and then they're concerned because no blood is filling the vial because he has no blood pressure. So it takes them a while to get a sample with a needle. And for me, it's like, just scoop some up, like get a ladle, you know, you don't need a syringe.

• 53:34Jeff Larson?

  Right.

• 53:35Wes Larson?

  Like scoop up some blood. But anyway, they get a blood sample. And then a kind of crazy thing, too, is there was a carpet layer in Seaside who had just cut off two of his fingers. And he's in the ER waiting for like his friend to bring the fingers so the doctors can reattach them. And they're like, hey, sorry, you're gonna have to wait because we're gonna save this guy's life. So it's a pretty bad day for that guy, too.

• 53:58Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 54:01Wes Larson?

  Yeah, he sees them wheel Kenny in, and he can see his like exposed protruding ribs. And he's like, okay, this guy obviously needs the table a lot more than I do.

• 54:11Jeff Larson?

  He's like, I was here first.

• 54:12Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 54:15Jeff Larson?

  No cutting.

• 54:19Wes Larson?

  They get IVs in him. They start pumping blood back into his body. The doctor pushes a tube into his partially deflated left lung, which is pretty easy considering he can like see it in full view. Kenny is still conscious. He looks up to see Steve's girlfriend who works at the hospital. And as she looks at his body, she like raises her hand to her mouth in shock and stumbles away to like pass out or vomit or whatever.

• 54:45Jeff Larson?

  Hmm.

• 54:45Wes Larson?

  As they rush to stabilize Kenny, the doctors also know that they're in over their heads. So they ask the orderlies to call for a transfer from the Coast Guard a helicopter so that he can be taken to a better equipped Portland hospital where he might survive. But they hear back that this big snowstorm has like grounded all the helicopters. And doctors just say, okay, load him in an ambulance, put a lot of blood in the ambulance. And they put him back onto a gurney, push him into the ambulance and rush toward Portland. But this ambulance is also driving through the snowstorm multiple times, asked to come to a complete stop because of accidents on the road. And meanwhile, Kenny is starting to die. His blood pressure is zero. He's feeling no pain. He's feeling light and woozy

• 55:30Wes Larson?

  and euphoric. His life starts flashing before his eyes.

• 55:33Mike Smith?

  Again?

• 55:34Wes Larson?

  Yeah, again. He sees the time that he almost drowned when he was two, and then everything since that moment. But mostly, he sees his two sons, and that keeps him fighting.

• 55:45Mike Smith?

  Like Luke, looking up at the binary sunset?

• 55:49Wes Larson?

  Just like that. You got Star Wars on the brain today.

• 55:52Mike Smith?

  I do. What's going on? I don't really think about Star Wars usually. But those two suns in the sky, man, Luke.

• 55:58Wes Larson?

  Oh, I get what you're saying. Two suns. I get it. I got it.

• 56:03Mike Smith?

  It's fine. I'll cut it.

• 56:04Wes Larson?

  I feel like we, no, I think you should keep that. I feel like we often hear people say like, my life flashed before my eyes. And it's kind of just like a turn of phrase. But with him, he meant it. Like he, in his book, which I'm gonna talk about in a second, he was like, I know this is hard to believe, but my life actually flashed before my eyes. Like, I actually saw these images of different moments in my life. And his sons were like the main one that really kept him going. They finally get to St. Vincent Hospital in Portland, and Kenny goes right into surgery. They repair four broken and splintered ribs as best as they can. They reinflate his collapsed lung. He describes his wounds in really great

• 56:45Wes Larson?

  detail in his book, but I think I've kind of done them justice already. But he does actually include some pictures, too. And he looks like, just like a piece of raw chicken that had been chewed up and spit out. It also took them a long time to clean sand from his wounds. You guys might not really be able to see this, and it's nothing compared to what I showed you last week. But this is like a photo of his back of the doctor like holding it open so they can show.

• 57:16Mike Smith?

  That's not good.

• 57:17Wes Larson?

  No, he's really torn up.

• 57:19Jeff Larson?

  I didn't see any sand.

• 57:22Wes Larson?

  They'd cleaned it at that point, I think. Yeah. He sums it up, though, by saying, I had suffered severe damage to four ribs smashed by the power of the shark's teeth and jaws. In addition, I had a punctured lung, exposed heart and kidney, shredded muscles, not the good kind of shredded, Mike.

• 57:39Mike Smith?

  Not in shape. They said he wasn't in shape?

• 57:41Jeff Larson?

  Any, any shredded muscles.

• 57:43Wes Larson?

  He wasn't.

• 57:44Jeff Larson?

  In my book.

• 57:45Wes Larson?

  Yeah. Severed nerves, mutilation of fatty tissues, and massive internal bleeding. I had lost all but one pint of the 11 pints of blood a body generally holds. The doctors quit counting stitches when the count reached 500. The bite had come within a half inch of his spinal column. He would make an absolutely miraculous recovery, kind of like Glenn Bond last week, which his doctors attributed to his surfing and construction fitness. So he was in really good shape. Mike.

• 58:20Mike Smith?

  Oh, that's good to hear. No, I'm happy. I think it was messed up that they said that.

• 58:25Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, the ambulance was wrong.

• 58:27Wes Larson?

  Yeah, he would leave the hospital after like 11 days. And the next day, he was like out fishing for steelhead with one of his friends. Surfers from all over the Pacific Northwest and really the whole country raised money to help him get back on his feet and to pay his hospital bills. And he just felt this really deep love for the surfing community, for his friends, for everyone that loved him. He didn't get to see his kids for a couple weeks, I think, is because his ex-wife was like nervous about them seeing him all bitten up and torn up and stuff. But obviously, when he saw them, that was like a huge moment for him. And he seemed like he was a really good dad. He suffered some trauma, some mental

• 59:08Wes Larson?

  trauma. It took him a while to get back in the ocean, he says, but it was only like two and a half months, which for me is not a while. And after he surfed again, he felt just like fully restored and fully healed. He had like a moment on the beach where he like thanked God. And he just decided he wanted to surf the rest of his life. And that's what he did. He moved to Hawaii. He lived on Kauai for a while. And then as I was doing research for the story, I Googled him. And he died in 2010. He was surfing off of South Kauai, and they found him floating face down. And cause of death was drowning.

• 59:48Wes Larson?

  There was nothing, like no injuries or anything. And he was 50 years old at the time, I believe, 53.

• 59:55Mike Smith?

  Oh, man.

• 59:55Wes Larson?

  And according to like all the reports I read, he was incredibly well liked by the community in Kauai, by the communities in all the places where he lived. Everyone just loved this guy. I doubt Mark Zuckerberg.

• 1:00:09Jeff Larson?

  Doesn't he like own all the Kauai-ness?

• 1:00:11Wes Larson?

  He does, but this was 2010.

• 1:00:13Jeff Larson?

  Oh, I see.

• 1:00:13Wes Larson?

  So I don't think he was there yet. But yeah, people just said that he was a great guy and that they were really gonna miss him. So, alright, it really reminded me of the Todd Endros story in multiple ways, because he also was just someone that everyone loved in the surfing community. And then he died in a car accident.

• 1:00:34Wes Larson?

  According to his book, which now I'm gonna tell you, it's called Surfing with the Great White Shark. It was self-published, I believe. It, if you ever get attacked by an animal, write a book exactly like this one, please. It's like 60 pages long. It's really easy to read. It was just like a perfect source for this story.

• 1:00:55Mike Smith?

  So this is just self-

• 1:00:56Wes Larson?

  Please do that for me. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:01Wes Larson?

  What was I saying? Oh, yeah. In his book, he says that it was the first recorded attack by a great white in Oregon and the northernmost attack ever recorded in the world. I did a little digging and I do think there was one or two that happened before this. But I don't doubt that this was the northernmost one.

• 1:01:18Mike Smith?

  Wow.

• 1:01:19Wes Larson?

  At the time.

• 1:01:20Mike Smith?

  Interesting.

• 1:01:22Jeff Larson?

  About half a year ago, I adopted my tripod Australian shepherd named Shanks. He had to chew off his arm after a boulder fell on it while he was hiking in the desert and he was pinned there for 127 hours. But you already knew that. What you didn't know is that August is National Dog Poop Month. I love how much Shanks' energy matches my own energy, but he took it a step too far when he copied my diarrhea. I live in an apartment complex. I had to still pick it up and it was so gross. So anyways, I had a problem. I tried a lot of different things, but what worked best was just switching his food completely over to Ollie. They deliver fresh, human-grade food that's gently cooked to maximize your dog's nutrition.

• 1:02:08Jeff Larson?

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• 1:02:51Jeff Larson?

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• 1:02:57Wes Larson?

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• 1:03:41Wes Larson?

  This is something that Jesse was buying before we had them on as sponsors. So I was really excited to hear they wanted to come onto the show because I was always kind of stealing little sips of her Dose because it tasted so good and I knew it was great for my liver. And if you take Dose daily, it can help with reduced sluggishness. It can get rid of those midday crashes. It can support your metabolism and it can even aid your daily digestion. Your liver is doing a lot. It has real results with two double-blind placebo-controlled studies showing its positive impact on liver enzyme levels. So are you ready to give your liver the support it deserves? Head to dosedaily.co/tooth or enter TOOTH to get 35% off your first subscription. Your body does so much for you. Let's do something for it.

• 1:04:26Wes Larson?

  That's D-O-S-E-D-A-I-L-Y dot C-O slash TOOTH for 35% off your first month's subscription. All right. Briefly, I just wanted to talk about great whites in this area. I didn't really put a lot of biology into this one because it's a longer story and we've done this animal quite a bit. But typically, great whites that are passing through Oregon are adult great white sharks. They're ones that are migrating north for colder water. They're kind of following the food. So where we see these videos of like more juvenile great whites hanging out around like Malibu, down by La Jolla, those are sharks that are kind of just hanging out there year-round that are, you know, eating smaller fish, trying to get bigger.

• 1:05:11Wes Larson?

  These ones that are migrating across the coast are often big adults and they're typically passing through Oregon waters in like the spring and the fall. They are hunting. They're looking for food and you really have to pay attention to conditions if you're gonna go out surfing in these areas because there could be sharks around.

• 1:05:31Jeff Larson?

  It's interesting because-

• 1:05:31Wes Larson?

  And we'll talk about that in a minute.

• 1:05:34Jeff Larson?

  In Mona, when there's big storms, there's like a lot of sea animals. But I guess that's not true. The big storms normally sea animals leave to Oregon.

• 1:05:44Wes Larson?

  What's Mona?

• 1:05:45Mike Smith?

  I think it's pronounced Moana.

• 1:05:47Wes Larson?

  Oh, Moana. Yeah, sure. I was wondering what he's talking about. Like, who's Mona?

• 1:05:55Mike Smith?

  Jeff?

• 1:05:59Wes Larson?

  All right. Cool. That was a cool tidbit. Thanks, Jeff.

• 1:06:05Jeff Larson?

  Did they get the shark?

• 1:06:07Wes Larson?

  No. And they don't, um, I don't know if they launched like an effort to get him or not. They probably did back then. But we've talked about this before too. They typically don't do that anymore and they don't really, um, often get the shark responsible because they're already gone by the time they get into the water. Oh, I remember what I did want to talk about though. I personally think, I read some reports on this by biologists, by different people. There's one biologist that thought this might have been a territorial attack. So the shark had been hunting in the area and it saw him as like a threat or potentially another shark or something, which is totally possible. From what I've kind of learned from some of our stories now, and this was a guy in the seventies who was talking about it,

• 1:06:51Wes Larson?

  is that often territorial attacks are like pretty intense and sustained. I kind of think, in my opinion, what could have happened here, and I'm not doubting like this guy who knows a ton more about sharks than I do, but what I think could have happened is that this was an exploratory bite and the shark got stuck in the surfboard. That it was stuck to its mouth and it really didn't like that because it's slamming it down on the water a few times like that. My thought is it was trying to get the surfboard to release from its jaws because it really didn't like the feeling of being like buoyed up by this big floating thing. So the fact that it was like a slow rise and a bite feels very exploratory to me.

• 1:07:33Wes Larson?

  It doesn't feel like a predatory attack where it's fast and violent. This was a slower bite and I think it just kind of realized that it didn't want what it had, but it was stuck to its face. That's my guess, but I don't know.

• 1:07:47Mike Smith?

  Sure.

• 1:07:47Wes Larson?

  All right, let's do ouchies.

• 1:07:48Jeff Larson?

  Do the, the exploratory bites though, do they normally put that much effort into one? Where it kind of did like the side roll and everything?

• 1:07:58Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:58Jeff Larson?

  You know, I mean-

• 1:07:59Wes Larson?

  I mean, they kind of just bite whatever's closest to them and if it's like a side like that, it might turn on its side to bite. I think it's hard to know what effort in this one was bite and what effort was trying to get away from the bite, you know? Like I think it thrashing through the water and whatnot, in my opinion, was it trying to get the surfboard off of its teeth, but I don't know.

• 1:08:20Jeff Larson?

  Okay. I guess, yeah, my point's kind of like those like ambush, um, attacks you see where they like explode out of the water, obviously are predatory.

• 1:08:30Wes Larson?

  Exactly.

• 1:08:31Jeff Larson?

  And this one feels kind of like they was going for it more than just like curious.

• 1:08:37Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Jeff Larson?

  A little bit, you know what I mean?

• 1:08:39Wes Larson?

  Our first, our first, um, great white story, Rob Rebstock. If you remember that one, he was the one that was like abalone diving with his friends. Also back, I think in the seventies or eighties. And that one, we kind of thought maybe was a territorial attack. And then that one, again, the shark like really hit him hard. And I think that's what you tend to see in territorial attacks is it's pissed. Like it's angry, so it comes in hard. It's not necessarily trying to feed, but it's hitting its prey or it's hitting the threat like pretty fast and hard. And this one just felt slow and the fact that it didn't come back in after it, like it released him in the board.

• 1:09:18Jeff Larson?

  Had a wounded animal. Yeah.

• 1:09:20Wes Larson?

  Yeah, it kind of makes me think that it tried to bite, really didn't like what it got and was just trying to get away after that.

• 1:09:27Jeff Larson?

  Maybe it like noticed surfers were scaring away its prey or something.

• 1:09:33Wes Larson?

  Yeah, it's possible. Yeah.

• 1:09:35Mike Smith?

  Have you ever seen that GIF of like, um, the Japanese game show where they go around biting random things in a room? And sometimes it's made out of chocolate? That kind of reminds me of what the shark was doing.

• 1:09:46Wes Larson?

  Yeah, that's kind of what they do. And again, like I think people see this and they think a lot of different things. Like for a long time, the main hypothesis was that they think that we're seals, which I don't really buy because they've evolved for 30 million years or whatever. I don't think they are that kind of unsure of what their prey is. I do think they think that we might be prey though and it's something new that they haven't necessarily seen. And the only way they can check that out is with their mouth. Like that's what they use. They just don't have hands. They don't have a way to reach out and be like, oh, is this food? Um, so it's very similar actually, Mike, to that show.

• 1:10:23Mike Smith?

  I know.

• 1:10:24Wes Larson?

  Where all they can do is use their mouth. Yeah.

• 1:10:25Mike Smith?

  Do you think sharks-

• 1:10:26Wes Larson?

  It's actually a perfect, a perfect comparison.

• 1:10:29Mike Smith?

  You think they would like chocolate?

• 1:10:31Wes Larson?

  No.

• 1:10:32Mike Smith?

  Oh, really? Not at all?

• 1:10:33Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:35Jeff Larson?

  Maybe-

• 1:10:35Wes Larson?

  All right.

• 1:10:36Jeff Larson?

  Chocolate-covered seal.

• 1:10:39Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:39Mike Smith?

  What about it?

• 1:10:40Wes Larson?

  Probably like that.

• 1:10:41Mike Smith?

  Uh, Swedish fish?

• 1:10:44Wes Larson?

  Uh, no, I don't think so.

• 1:10:46Mike Smith?

  Are you serious right now?

• 1:10:47Wes Larson?

  Yeah, but maybe a Swedish fish-covered seal.

• 1:10:54Mike Smith?

  That's a good point.

• 1:10:56Wes Larson?

  Ouchies. I'm gonna do nine. No, I'm gonna do eight.

• 1:11:00Mike Smith?

  Me too.

• 1:11:01Wes Larson?

  Eight ouchies.

• 1:11:02Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:02Wes Larson?

  Sand in the wounds.

• 1:11:03Jeff Larson?

  Good recovery.

• 1:11:05Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Jeff Larson?

  Oh, it's sand. I gotta go nine.

• 1:11:07Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:09Wes Larson?

  He did in his book, and I do recommend this book. He talks a lot more about like his pain and his wounds and his recovery.

• 1:11:17Jeff Larson?

  It just sucks, dude.

• 1:11:18Wes Larson?

  A lot of that.

• 1:11:19Jeff Larson?

  His body was blocking it all out until his friend dropped him.

• 1:11:23Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Mike Smith?

  That's a tough, yeah.

• 1:11:26Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:26Mike Smith?

  I'd feel real bad.

• 1:11:27Wes Larson?

  Sooner or later, though.

• 1:11:28Jeff Larson?

  But it's like hard to carry a limp body too. Like I don't blame the friend too much.

• 1:11:33Wes Larson?

  True.

• 1:11:34Jeff Larson?

  For sure.

• 1:11:34Wes Larson?

  Also, big, big thanks to my friend Peter for recommending this one. This is a great book.

• 1:11:39Jeff Larson?

  Cool art.

• 1:11:41Wes Larson?

  Peter that um, that my, my, one of my best friends is dating. Ashley.

• 1:11:46Mike Smith?

  Wow.

• 1:11:47Wes Larson?

  Yeah. All right. Mike, did you, you did eight and Jeff, you did nine. Okay. All right. We're gonna move on then. Uh, we're gonna do our categories.

• 1:11:55Mike Smith?

  No way.

• 1:11:56Wes Larson?

  Yep.

• 1:11:56Jeff Larson?

  Woo.

• 1:11:56Wes Larson?

  It's time.

• 1:11:57Mike Smith?

  Are you serious?

• 1:11:59Wes Larson?

  The first category.

• 1:12:00Mike Smith?

  I do too.

• 1:12:01Jeff Larson?

  Mike.

• 1:12:02Wes Larson?

  I like them. The first one is your favorite monolith. Uh, so Haystack Rock is a really well-known monolith all around the world. So I want to hear your guys' favorite monolith.

• 1:12:15Jeff Larson?

  Mine's a little controversial if it's a true monolith, but I'm gonna go with Chief Mountain in Glacier.

• 1:12:21Wes Larson?

  I almost picked that too. So that's a good pick.

• 1:12:24Jeff Larson?

  The book I'm almost done with right now, audiobooks. I don't get credit, but Buffalo Hunter Hunter.

• 1:12:31Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:32Jeff Larson?

  And there's a lot of Chief Mountain talk in it.

• 1:12:36Wes Larson?

  There is. That's a great book. I think audiobooks count, so don't sell yourself short.

• 1:12:41Mike Smith?

  Sure. Totally viable way to experience a book.

• 1:12:45Wes Larson?

  Yep.

• 1:12:45Jeff Larson?

  Doesn't count for my New Year's resolution, resolution to read a book.

• 1:12:50Mike Smith?

  One book, right?

• 1:12:51Wes Larson?

  Okay.

• 1:12:51Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:52Mike Smith?

  Grab that sixty pager from Wes. Maybe get through that one.

• 1:12:54Wes Larson?

  This is an easy read. He's a pretty good writer, too.

• 1:12:58Mike Smith?

  I'll write a book for you.

• 1:12:59Wes Larson?

  Favorite monolith.

• 1:13:00Mike Smith?

  Like two pages long. Uh, my favorite monolith, oh man, I just watched Space Odyssey, Two Thousand One A Space Odyssey, the black, like the little alien monolith. That's just iconic. But I think in, if we're talking about ones that actually exist out there in the world, real life, I R L, uh, the Devil's Tower.

• 1:13:20Wes Larson?

  That's a good one. In Wyoming.

• 1:13:22Mike Smith?

  Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about Spielberg recently because I was just kind of distraught after Disclosure Day and I was thinking about Close Encounters. And I was like, man, he really had this whole alien thing on lock and then.

• 1:13:35Wes Larson?

  Yeah, he didn't need to do more aliens.

• 1:13:37Mike Smith?

  I'm not saying he shouldn't, but like, I, I don't know. I just, it was a missed opportunity, I guess, Disclosure Day. Had a lot of really fun, good ideas that weren't executed all that well. But Devil's Tower featured prominently. Dreyfus makes it out of like the little mashed potatoes. That's a fun scene, Wes.

• 1:13:54Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:55Mike Smith?

  The mashed potatoes.

• 1:13:57Wes Larson?

  I'm picking Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio. Um, it's that like big monolithic rock that, that's right above the bay. And I, there's something about a huge rock sticking out of jungle that I just really love. It feels very exotic and cool to me. So that's the one I'm picking. Um, best place you've ever been in Oregon?

• 1:14:17Jeff Larson?

  I haven't really been.

• 1:14:18Wes Larson?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:14:20Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, I went.

• 1:14:20Wes Larson?

  You gotta go to Oregon.

• 1:14:21Jeff Larson?

  Through like the very most eastern, just kind of sagebrush for ten miles.

• 1:14:28Wes Larson?

  Best place you've ever been in Oregon?

• 1:14:29Jeff Larson?

  Portland Airport was cool to fly into.

• 1:14:31Mike Smith?

  Wait, you say you've been to all fifty states, right, Jeff?

• 1:14:35Jeff Larson?

  Nah.

• 1:14:36Mike Smith?

  Okay, I was gonna say, cause I don't, some people have different criteria about what actually counts.

• 1:14:41Jeff Larson?

  I've driven through part of Oregon, so I could still count it, but I don't feel like I've actually seen Oregon because it wasn't.

• 1:14:49Mike Smith?

  You would count that.

• 1:14:50Wes Larson?

  I would count it for having been to them.

• 1:14:53Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Wes Larson?

  If you've driven or walked on them, I don't count airports, but I think if you pass through in a car, even if it's just like a corner or whatever, I count it.

• 1:15:01Mike Smith?

  Okay. I don't have strong feelings one way or the other, but um, I, so I was born just outside of Portland. Uh, the Oak Hills Community Pool is my favorite place. That's just where I have my favorite memories of spending time there, but um.

• 1:15:15Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:16Mike Smith?

  We moved away when I was so young that it just not, it almost barely even registers as a memory for me at this point. So.

• 1:15:23Wes Larson?

  Yeah, need to get back there.

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• 1:17:11Wes Larson?

  I had a brief stint where I was a long haul truck driver and my favorite route was from Vancouver, B C, down to like Fresno. And I would take the coast as much as I possibly could, and I loved Lincoln Beach, Oregon. It's like a little town, right? It's pretty close to the sand dunes in Oregon, and you still have that like beautiful coastal scenery with all the big rocks and stuff. Just really fell in love with that part of the world. So I think Oregon rocks.

• 1:17:43Wes Larson?

  I didn't mean to do that, but it does. All right.

• 1:17:46Mike Smith?

  Jeff, I don't care who you are. That's.

• 1:17:50Jeff Larson?

  That was a good one.

• 1:17:52Mike Smith?

  Right?

• 1:17:52Wes Larson?

  All right.

• 1:17:53Jeff Larson?

  I would, I would say Cannon, Cannon Beach is like from pictures I've seen. That's where I'm.

• 1:18:00Wes Larson?

  I love.

• 1:18:00Jeff Larson?

  Think it's the coolest looking part of Oregon.

• 1:18:03Wes Larson?

  Yeah. There's a lot of stuff like that on the coast, though.

• 1:18:06Jeff Larson?

  Does it have grizzly bear habitat in Oregon? Like.

• 1:18:10Wes Larson?

  Yeah, they could, they would do pretty well there.

• 1:18:12Jeff Larson?

  So, and they don't have them. So I'm like, why should I go?

• 1:18:15Wes Larson?

  Yeah, that's a good point. I, I support you fully in that. Uh, if you could have a nationally celebrated week dedicated to anything, what would it be?

• 1:18:26Mike Smith?

  Uh, table manners for me. People, uh, have gotten a little lax recently. Need to figure this back out. Parents, you're doing a bad job recently. That's all I'm gonna say.

• 1:18:35Wes Larson?

  I feel like boomers have like really slipped on all their table manners.

• 1:18:39Mike Smith?

  Yeah. Uh, let's just start with everyone chewing with their mouth closed, and then we can maybe move on from there, but that's first and foremost.

• 1:18:47Jeff Larson?

  That's a good answer.

• 1:18:48Wes Larson?

  Celebrate that week. Yeah. Jeff, what was your answer?

• 1:18:52Jeff Larson?

  Well, I knew it was gonna be in reference to Shark Week, so I kind of explored the Shark Week in general. And I almost think they should do it kind of like professional tennis or golf, where there's like four rotating majors. So instead of like Shark Week every year, it's like once every four years that you do Shark Week. Then once every four years, you do Bear Week. And then once every four we.

• 1:19:20Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:20Jeff Larson?

  Years, you do Cat Week. And once every four years, you do like a, an honor, like a random one, like canines or primates or something.

• 1:19:28Mike Smith?

  I like having a wild card for like that fourth year.

• 1:19:31Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:31Mike Smith?

  That's good.

• 1:19:32Jeff Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Wes Larson?

  It's funny. A lot of these channels have tried to like introduce like Cat Week or Bear Week or whatever, and they just don't hit the way that Shark Week does. Like Shark Week is the one that really.

• 1:19:43Jeff Larson?

  Outdoor magazine with Bear Week.

• 1:19:46Wes Larson?

  Bear Month. They do Bear Month. Yeah, but theirs is different because it's like they just publish a lot more bear stuff.

• 1:19:52Jeff Larson?

  Because we're on it.

• 1:19:53Wes Larson?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:54Mike Smith?

  Cause we're boosted.

• 1:19:55Wes Larson?

  That one's good.

• 1:19:59Wes Larson?

  All right. My answer was.

• 1:20:02Jeff Larson?

  Weeks just a little too long sometimes, dude.

• 1:20:05Wes Larson?

  Okay.

• 1:20:05Jeff Larson?

  For every year.

• 1:20:07Wes Larson?

  That's, that's not the case for my answer.

• 1:20:09Jeff Larson?

  Okay.

• 1:20:10Wes Larson?

  Cause what I would pick would be drive in movies. Um, I have this weird kind of sadness that washes over me whenever I think about drive in movie theaters. Because they're dying out, like everyone that owns one knows that it's worth more to sell for like apartments or whatever. It's what happened to the one in Salt Lake. Uh, but they are so nostalgic and fun to me. I just love a drive in movie more than just about anything in the world. And I feel like if there was a whole week devoted to them every summer, then it would be profitable to have a drive in movie. So I don't know, but I would help at least. So drive in movies is what I want.

• 1:20:48Jeff Larson?

  I think part of the problem too, it's like, it's too easy to replicate now.

• 1:20:53Wes Larson?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:53Jeff Larson?

  Like at home, like even for Wes's birthday, we put a projector on your shed and had like an outdoor movie. And like, I think that's the reason IMAX is doing so well. It's like, that's the one thing at home. We can't quite like.

• 1:21:07Wes Larson?

  That's true.

• 1:21:08Jeff Larson?

  Replicate.

• 1:21:09Wes Larson?

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 1:21:11Jeff Larson?

  So I do IMAX week.

• 1:21:13Wes Larson?

  Yeah, IMAX week.

• 1:21:14Jeff Larson?

  Let's change it to IMAX week.

• 1:21:16Wes Larson?

  Now I'm sticking with driving.

• 1:21:19Wes Larson?

  And I, I like going and like putting a blanket on the ground and just having my car open, playing all the sound. Okay. Anyway, we're going to play a little game. Bill cue the little saw guy saying, let's play a game.

• 1:21:32Speaker 05

  I want to play a game.

• 1:21:34Jeff Larson?

  Um, Jigsaw.

• 1:21:35Wes Larson?

  This is called the McRib game because his ribs were sticking out. And it's that game that you maybe have seen on social media where like, I'm going to say two things to you. And you have to pick the one that you like more, and then the one that you like stays for the next round. And we're going to go like five rounds for each of you. And it's the McRib is going to be thrown in there. So Mike, you famously hate the McRib. It turned you vegetarian for a little bit.

• 1:22:02Mike Smith?

  True.

• 1:22:03Wes Larson?

  Uh, so yours are going to be like bad stuff and we're going to see how much you actually hate the McRib.

• 1:22:08Mike Smith?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:22:09Wes Larson?

  Yours is going to kind of be the opposite. So Mike, that cheese from Antarctica, like a big serving of it or the McRib? And you have to answer truthfully here.

• 1:22:19Mike Smith?

  I mean, I can't, it's going to be tough for that cheese to get beat on things I dislike. I, yeah.

• 1:22:25Wes Larson?

  So the McRib survives.

• 1:22:27Mike Smith?

  I can choke a McRib down. That cheese was just immediate gag reflex.

• 1:22:31Wes Larson?

  Okay. A handful of sand or the McRib?

• 1:22:36Jeff Larson?

  Wait, what? Shouldn't it be the cheese?

• 1:22:39Wes Larson?

  No, the McRib stays. Like this is what he likes more.

• 1:22:42Mike Smith?

  The, okay.

• 1:22:42Wes Larson?

  I, I just picked gross things for Mike instead of good things.

• 1:22:45Jeff Larson?

  Is this eating?

• 1:22:47Wes Larson?

  Yeah, this is eating.

• 1:22:48Mike Smith?

  Sand or McRib?

• 1:22:49Wes Larson?

  Ten of those worms we ate in Zimbabwe?

• 1:22:52Mike Smith?

  No, I'm going sand. Yeah.

• 1:22:54Wes Larson?

  You're going sand?

• 1:22:55Mike Smith?

  Raising Arizona. You ate sand?

• 1:22:57Wes Larson?

  Okay.

• 1:22:57Speaker 05

  You ate what? We ate sand. You ate sand? That's right.

• 1:23:03Wes Larson?

  McRib loses already. All right. So handful of sand or 10 of the worms we ate in Zimbabwe?

• 1:23:09Mike Smith?

  Oh, those worms were gross, huh? I think I would be able to get those down easier than a handful of sand though.

• 1:23:15Jeff Larson?

  You can't have 10 worms over a McRib.

• 1:23:19Mike Smith?

  I could.

• 1:23:20Wes Larson?

  All right. Uh, the 10 worms or a McDonald's fish fillet?

• 1:23:24Mike Smith?

  Oh, the worms. Holy cow. Are you kidding me right now?

• 1:23:28Wes Larson?

  10 worms or five zero bars?

• 1:23:31Mike Smith?

  Zero, zero bars.

• 1:23:32Wes Larson?

  All right. The zero bars are your champion. All right. Now Jeff.

• 1:23:37Wes Larson?

  McRib or a handful of dog food?

• 1:23:41Jeff Larson?

  What? Ollie?

• 1:23:42Wes Larson?

  No.

• 1:23:43Jeff Larson?

  If it's Ollie, I might do.

• 1:23:45Wes Larson?

  Kibble, gross kibble.

• 1:23:48Jeff Larson?

  Uh, yeah, I'll take the McRib.

• 1:23:51Wes Larson?

  Okay. McRib or a really overcooked steak? Like really, really overcooked.

• 1:23:56Jeff Larson?

  McRib.

• 1:23:57Wes Larson?

  Okay. McRib or a bowl of Cheerios?

• 1:23:59Jeff Larson?

  An overcooked steak will make me like triggered because I'll be like, this could have been so good.

• 1:24:05Wes Larson?

  We're past it.

• 1:24:05Jeff Larson?

  So like, even if it tastes better, I'd rather have the McRib because I won't be mad.

• 1:24:09Wes Larson?

  Hmm. Okay.

• 1:24:11Jeff Larson?

  Sorry, what was it?

• 1:24:12Wes Larson?

  McRib or a bowl of Cheerios?

• 1:24:14Jeff Larson?

  Honey Nut?

• 1:24:15Wes Larson?

  No, normal Cheerios. No sweetener.

• 1:24:19Jeff Larson?

  Uh, McRib.

• 1:24:21Wes Larson?

  McRib or a quarter pounder? Also from McDonald's.

• 1:24:26Jeff Larson?

  Give me the McRib.

• 1:24:27Wes Larson?

  Okay. McRib or a huckleberry milkshake?

• 1:24:31Jeff Larson?

  Hmm. Yeah, it's gotta be huckleberry milkshake.

• 1:24:35Wes Larson?

  Okay. Huckleberry milkshake or dad's spaghetti?

• 1:24:38Jeff Larson?

  Dad's spaghetti.

• 1:24:40Wes Larson?

  All right. Dad's spaghetti wins.

• 1:24:42Mike Smith?

  Hands sweaty.

• 1:24:44Wes Larson?

  Dad's spaghetti.

• 1:24:47Wes Larson?

  Hands are sweaty. Dad's spaghetti. All right. Uh, what would Jeff and Mike do this story?

• 1:24:53Mike Smith?

  Uh, this one's easy for me. You want to go Jeff?

• 1:24:58Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, I would, I would just have not quit my job, you know? I would put in two weeks notice.

• 1:25:04Wes Larson?

  Yeah. That's a good point. Then you wouldn't have gotten bit by a shark.

• 1:25:09Mike Smith?

  That's a good, that's actually better than mine. I would have, I would have just hung 10 the whole time.

• 1:25:18Wes Larson?

  All right. Good answers. Um, we've talked about this a lot, but I think it's worth repeating, especially in the wake of shark week. Really the biggest things with shark bites are prevention. So paying condition or paying attention to conditions is the, the biggest thing. Mouths of rivers that empty into the ocean are notorious for being places where sharks are going to be looking for food. It's the perfect conditions for them. Uh, it creates a really good feeding opportunity for them. So murky water, especially around mouths of water that are emptying into the ocean are places that you should probably think about avoiding. You want to pay attention to any recent sightings?

• 1:25:56Jeff Larson?

  Is that why they call it mouth of the river?

• 1:25:58Wes Larson?

  No, it's not why they call it that.

• 1:26:02Wes Larson?

  Pay attention to any recent sightings. Look for maybe food sources in the water. If there's lots of pinipeds around like seals or sea lions, if there's a dead whale, that's a big one. There's just things that you should pay attention to. If you are in the water and a shark is approaching you, face the shark, keep watching it and let it know that you're like watching it. So if you can get your face underwater, so it can see that you're looking at it and continue facing it. If there's anything you can put in between you and the shark, do it. But you don't actually necessarily want to poke the shark. That could trigger like more of a defensive reaction. But just have that thing in front of you and the shark so that if it hits it and bumps into it, it knows that there's a barrier there.

• 1:26:45Wes Larson?

  And then if the shark does actually come, oh yeah, and then you want to slowly kind of back paddle to safety if you're able to. If the shark comes in and does.

• 1:26:54Jeff Larson?

  Sorry, but what about like with a surfboard? Because then you can't, you could put a surfboard in between you and the shark. But then you can't really keep eye contact.

• 1:27:05Wes Larson?

  I would, I would try and get on my surfboard and get any limbs out of the water is what I would try and do on a surfboard. Um, and then if it does bump your surfboard, there's a good chance that it's going to decide it doesn't want anymore. Yeah, I would not hang any, I would hang zero if it were me. Then if you actually are bitten by a shark, if you're being actively bitten, you do want to just try and get at sensitive parts. So gills, eyes, you want to fight back as much as you can. But like we always say, that's the situation you're trying to avoid because at that point, there's not much you can do. You just have to hope that you can break that off and anyone around you should do their best to intervene as well.

• 1:27:48Mike Smith?

  Where do they bite each other when they're mating? Do you think that would maybe throw them off?

• 1:27:52Wes Larson?

  I don't know exactly. I know that a lot of them have a lot of scars on each other. Um, what do you mean? Would it throw them off?

• 1:27:58Mike Smith?

  I don't know. Maybe turn like a fight into a bit more of like an intimate scenario.

• 1:28:01Wes Larson?

  Oh, if you bit it back?

• 1:28:03Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:03Wes Larson?

  Yeah. If you want to get fracked by a shark, go ahead and start biting it while it's biting you. But otherwise, um, just listen to what I just said.

• 1:28:12Mike Smith?

  Okay. If all else fails, let's just say that if all else fails.

• 1:28:15Wes Larson?

  Yeah. If all else fails, go ahead and bite it. All right. Let's do a little bit of conservation before we wrap this up. I'm also going to do, you know, I'm going to do one listener question, just one.

• 1:28:25Mike Smith?

  Ooh, lucky listener.

• 1:28:26Wes Larson?

  Grab one at random. Let's find one here. I've got some loaded up. Okay.

• 1:28:32Mike Smith?

  Like a diaper.

• 1:28:35Wes Larson?

  Loaded up just like a diaper. Yep. These are all ones I've done.

• 1:28:39Mike Smith?

  Do you feel like that word should be pronounced like that? Diaper? The way it's spelled.

• 1:28:44Wes Larson?

  Diaper.

• 1:28:45Mike Smith?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:47Mike Smith?

  I don't know about that or diamond, diam.

• 1:28:50Jeff Larson?

  What about Moana?

• 1:28:52Mike Smith?

  Moana is a little, I understand why you would get a little confused on that one.

• 1:28:57Wes Larson?

  Yeah. Okay. This one's from Margaret. Margaret says, we've talked a lot about bears and bear spray, but I'm not sure I remember hearing about when to actually use it. Is there an optimal distance you'd want to deploy your bear spray when charged? And does that change based on brand of spray? Uh, do you have a preferred brand? I'm always worried I'd use it too soon or too late in the heat of the moment. Uh, I would probably spray it at like 50 or 60 feet. And the reason for that is at that, at that distance, what you want is for that spray just to be suspended in the air between you and the bear. Um, at about 30 feet. And so the bear has that first wall of spray, it has to come through.

• 1:29:35Wes Larson?

  That's probably going to be enough to deter it. And then if it comes through that 30 foot wall and it's still coming at me, I would hit it again. And, and actually aim for the face of the bear. So that's how I would use it. And that's what I recommend to people. It has about seven seconds of spray in a can. So you got quite a bit.

• 1:29:53Jeff Larson?

  That's for like an actively charging bear from a distance.

• 1:29:57Wes Larson?

  Yes.

• 1:29:58Jeff Larson?

  Like if it's not charging, you wouldn't spray it.

• 1:30:02Wes Larson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:03Jeff Larson?

  You would maybe if it was like a foot away.

• 1:30:05Wes Larson?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:30:07Jeff Larson?

  Is that what it's taught is like 50 feet, but the spray goes 30?

• 1:30:11Wes Larson?

  The spray goes about 30, but it's aerosolized, so it hangs out in the air. Like I walked through a cloud of spray. I sprayed 10 minutes previous and it still made me choke and cough. So it's going to be suspended in the air and that's that first one. And then if it keeps coming, I'm spraying it again and that would be my tactic. When you spray, you kind of want to spray a little low because it's going to rise up in the air after you spray. That first one, you're just kind of spraying low and in front of you. And then if it comes through that, then you're really aiming just for its face.

• 1:30:42Mike Smith?

  Sure.

• 1:30:42Wes Larson?

  All of the brands currently are about the same. Uh, I teased that I'm going to be dropping my own brand at some point. It's probably not going to be this year now. Uh, we're making some improvements on the existing product. I'm excited for that. It is going to happen, but uh, hold tight for that announcement. That's our one question. We're going to do some quick conservation. This is a shark that is completely protected in waters off of Oregon. So you cannot target great whites. You cannot, if you catch one, you have to do your best to release it, uh, as quickly and as safely as possible. They're completely protected. We don't really know how many great white sharks are on their world, are in the world. Uh, there's lots of different estimates.

• 1:31:24Wes Larson?

  Um, there are places where they seem to be doing really well, like in Southern California. It seems like the great white shark population is doing well out in Maine, uh, where Danielle lives. They seem to be doing really well on the eastern seaboard. They're really coming back. So I do think we're in kind of a general uptrend for great white sharks, which is great. And the nice thing about them is how migratory they are. Climate change does affect them, but it kind of, it just opens up new water for them. And they're kind of leaving places maybe that they used to hunt in for colder water. There are places where they've mysteriously disappeared like South Africa, but I think overall worldwide they're, they're doing better than they were even 10, 15 years ago.

• 1:32:05Wes Larson?

  Over fishing is their, like fishing and shark finning is their main, their main threat. All right. Uh, you guys got anything else you want to add? 10 claw animal for me. We haven't done claws in a while, but 10 claws. Yeah.

• 1:32:20Mike Smith?

  Same.

• 1:32:20Wes Larson?

  Jeff?

• 1:32:21Jeff Larson?

  Yeah, 10.

• 1:32:22Mike Smith?

  I might even go 11.

• 1:32:24Wes Larson?

  Yeah. This might be, I mean, it's like back and forth with them and grizzly bears. If it's my all time favorite animal, so. Okay. Well, that's it. Uh, we'll be back soon with more episodes.

• 1:32:38Mike Smith?

  Hey.

• 1:32:38Wes Larson?

  I think we have a week off after this one, but after that.

• 1:32:42Jeff Larson?

  Wow.

• 1:32:43Mike Smith?

  Yes. I'm going to go get some dipping dots.

• 1:32:45Jeff Larson?

  Thanks Wes.

• 1:32:47Wes Larson?

  Thank you guys. All right. We'll see you.

• 1:32:49Jeff Larson?

  See you.

• 1:32:50Wes Larson?

  Bye.

• 1:32:50Jeff Larson?

  Love you everyone.