MBMBaM 809: Lesser Luigi Model

We need someone to tier up on a soapbox for us, so we're finally pitching our own mascot. We need a fun, fuzzy monster that can guide our tummies through eating too many tiny hamburgers. Saucier! More depressing! And with more bones! Suggested Talking Points: Zan-pope-i, A Huge Amount of Bones, Saucy Based on a Book By Sapphire, Daddy's Sports Award Marsha P. Johnson Institute: https://marshap.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis Nation? It's been your middlest brother Travis Big Duck Wolf, from the heater award-winning McElroy.

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  It's me, Griff, yo, McElroy. I got the fucking, I got the fucking bug bad, boys.

• 1:34Travis McElroy?

  Oh, no, you're sick. Mario Galaxy fever.

• 1:37Griffin McElroy?

  I've got Mario Galaxy fever, me and fucking every other American on Earth. $207 million domestic gross so far. Fucking, the train can't be stopped. They could have Waluigi get up on the screen and take a shit in a toilet for an hour and a half, and we're talking about 250 million opening weekend. This guy can't be, this guy can't be fucking stopped.

• 2:02Travis McElroy?

  I haven't seen it. Does that happen in the movie?

• 2:06Griffin McElroy?

  Here's, you know what sucks? Can I tell you what sucks, guys? I Googled Wario Waluigi Mario Galaxy movie post-credit scene? Question mark? It's not in there, before you think I'm giving away some sort of insane spoiler. I Googled it, and you know what happened? Google AI said, "Early reports show that Waluigi and Wario do show up in a post-credit scene of the Super Mario Galaxy movie." And guess what? They fucking don't, so...

• 2:28Travis McElroy?

  What kind of early reports? Do they have boots on the ground? They have people like on site in the trenches, like reporting on this?

• 2:37Griffin McElroy?

  I have to imagine this dipshit, large language model machine found my live journal that was like, "Christ Jesus, I would do anything to get these two nasty Italian brothers in the film. Please, I would do anything." And it saw that and said, "Well, that must mean they're in it." Because it's a fucking robot. It doesn't understand like wishes and dreams. It doesn't understand aspirations.

• 2:59Travis McElroy?

  That's what LLM is. It's the Lesser Luigi model, and it finds the Lesser Luigi and tries to insert it into all the...

• 3:05Griffin McElroy?

  Jam it in there. God, I was so fucking pissed off.

• 3:08Travis McElroy?

  Are Wario and Waluigi brothers?

• 3:11Griffin McElroy?

  We don't need to. We've talked about this so many times before.

• 3:15Travis McElroy?

  I thought they were a couple.

• 3:16Griffin McElroy?

  They're married.

• 3:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 3:18Griffin McElroy?

  It's just, um, they, I guess...

• 3:20Travis McElroy?

  They're business partners.

• 3:21Griffin McElroy?

  They were roommates.

• 3:22Travis McElroy?

  Ben and Jerry's.

• 3:22Griffin McElroy?

  They're roommate business partners.

• 3:23Travis McElroy?

  They're married. I realized this when I was watching the Super Mario Galaxy movie. That kind of surprised me.

• 3:28Griffin McElroy?

  What's that?

• 3:29Travis McElroy?

  I'm still like, I was watching it, and I was like, "Why don't I like the first one of these more?"

• 3:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:37Travis McElroy?

  Because it's like, I'm seeing all this stuff, like plants I know from my childhood, you know? Pipes that I recognize as though I know my own name. And then Mario starts talking, and I realized something that I don't feel great about, but I'm going to tell you guys. I still hate that he is Mario.

• 3:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Travis McElroy?

  I, it still makes me mad that Chris Pratt is Mario. And once he started talking, you know, I started thinking, "He's still bad at this." And I'm still mad that he's Mario. I thought it's been years.

• 4:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:05Travis McElroy?

  I'm still furious. He sucks at it.

• 4:09Griffin McElroy?

  Tell me.

• 4:09Travis McElroy?

  He doesn't sound like Mario, still. Boys, can I have a second on a soapbox about Chris Pratt and voice acting?

• 4:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:17Travis McElroy?

  What I think is, there was a TikTok clip, Justin, to your point.

• 4:20Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like that was always.

• 4:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, I'm backing you up.

• 4:23Griffin McElroy?

  Can Travis have a minute to, to, can Travis have a minute to back you up?

• 4:27Travis McElroy?

  Hard. Are you building a second bigger soapbox behind my soapbox?

• 4:32Griffin McElroy?

  Envelopes, the soapbox is hollow, so it can envelop your soap.

• 4:35Travis McElroy?

  Take is tiered.

• 4:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:37Travis McElroy?

  My soapbox is on top of yours, so it's higher, but it's smaller.

• 4:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Travis McElroy?

  I feel like yours is bigger and you have kind of put yours on top of mine like a dad putting his son on his shoulder like. I would never do that.

• 4:49Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 4:49Travis McElroy?

  There was a TikTok clip to publicize the movie with the cast and it was like, do your impression of Yoshi and then Donald Glover will judge your Yoshi. And Chris Pratt volunteers to go first and then just goes, Yoshi.

• 5:05Griffin McElroy?

  So he just does it. It might just be the only thing he knows how to do. It might just be.

• 5:09Travis McElroy?

  It's like. Sucks.

• 5:12Griffin McElroy?

  When you do voices, when you do voices, that is technically lying, which is a sin, which Chris Pratt cannot do.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  It's against his religion to sin. Christ, it's short for Christ Pratt. Yeah.

• 5:27Griffin McElroy?

  It is against his religion to do sinning. I will say this, boys, in, oh gosh, I don't want to be on this hill, so I'm going to say it and then I'm going to get off the hill real fast.

• 5:36Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 5:38Griffin McElroy?

  In Chris Pratt's defense.

• 5:40Travis McElroy?

  What? No, no, no, say it with your old chest.

• 5:44Griffin McElroy?

  In Chris Pratt's defense. Show me the voice actor that they come to and they say, you're Mario now. And this voice actor, you can name literally anyone, says, all right. And then the casting director says, not so fast. You can't do it Italian at all. You show me the voice actor who's going to fucking crush that role.

• 6:03Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so my first thing is, it might be nice to ask an Italian person. Like, as long as we were putting together a list, like, if you're like, hey, Justin, give me a list of. Give me a list of Snow White gentiles.

• 6:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 6:19Travis McElroy?

  Play Mario better than Chris Pratt.

• 6:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:22Travis McElroy?

  I could probably come up with 10.

• 6:24Griffin McElroy?

  Right, right, right.

• 6:25Travis McElroy?

  You know, like, I mean Mercer's gonna be on the list. Yeah, Fred Tescor is gonna be on the list.

• 6:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:29Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I got a lot of greats that I think would really clean his clock in a pretty authoritative way.

• 6:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that, I mean, Matt Mercer can walk the tightrope. Matt Mercer got Ganondorf, but do it hot. And Matt Mercer was like, I can do a hot Ganondorf. Bazinga, he gets it done.

• 6:43Travis McElroy?

  There is also a way, Griffin, to do a Mario voice.

• 6:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:48Travis McElroy?

  At all.

• 6:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:50Travis McElroy?

  That's also your own, like Ben Schwartz did Sonic. And he's not doing Jaleel White.

• 6:55Griffin McElroy?

  He transforms.

• 6:56Travis McElroy?

  But he's doing a Sonic voice.

• 6:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I will say.

• 7:02Griffin McElroy?

  You guys want some silence? Jaleel White?

• 7:05Travis McElroy?

  You've gotta stop being a Chris Pratt ficket.

• 7:08Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no, no, I'm not, that's nothing. I, I'm not being a Chris Pratt ficket. I'm just saying that Sonic.

• 7:12Travis McElroy?

  You're taking a Chris Pratt fall right now and it sucks to see.

• 7:15Griffin McElroy?

  I'm just saying that Sonic doesn't have a rich accent of a different sort of culture. A different sort of ethnic group. Um, and so it is slightly easier for one to transform that role. To take Mario and do him pretty much not, not really Italian. He sneaks a little bit of, he puts a little bit of on it sometimes, but like, for the most part, zero Italian content in this Mario voice.

• 7:42Travis McElroy?

  Alan Tudyk.

• 7:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:44Travis McElroy?

  I mean, yeah, like, there's lots of, like, people that are better at acting than Chris Pratt. Peter Cullen, but doing the Optimus Prime voice.

• 7:52Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay.

• 7:54Travis McElroy?

  Now, this might be because you said transform a lot.

• 7:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:57Travis McElroy?

  Played it in the seat of my head, but if he was like Luigi.

• 8:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:01Travis McElroy?

  We must get the old spark. Like, that would fucking rule.

• 8:04Griffin McElroy?

  Now, show me a better wart than Luis Guzman. That doesn't exist. That can't be done.

• 8:10Travis McElroy?

  That's a, that's a choice. That's something he's making a choice.

• 8:13Griffin McElroy?

  Making a choice.

• 8:13Travis McElroy?

  Louis Guzman's an actor.

• 8:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I don't know.

• 8:16Travis McElroy?

  He sounds like somebody.

• 8:17Griffin McElroy?

  I don't understand.

• 8:17Travis McElroy?

  Sounds like somebody.

• 8:18Griffin McElroy?

  Sounds like someone. I don't know why Wart's in the motion picture. Wart's whole sequence in the movie seems like a total fucking fever dream. Wart, there's like.

• 8:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, it's just.

• 8:26Griffin McElroy?

  It's just out of nowhere and then Wart's there and Berto's there and they're like, what's up? We're from the one that people don't talk about a whole lot. Um, do you want to have a big casino fight? And they're like, yeah, that seems like it'd be cool to have in the movie. And then they made $207 million domestic.

• 8:40Travis McElroy?

  You know that, you know, those packing peanuts that you get sometimes that are made from digestible materials like corn?

• 8:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:48Travis McElroy?

  And they advertise on there like, check it out. This stuff is made of corn.

• 8:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Travis McElroy?

  Like you could eat it. Don't.

• 8:55Griffin McElroy?

  Don't.

• 8:55Travis McElroy?

  But like you could eat it. But if you accidentally did.

• 8:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:58Travis McElroy?

  That to me is, that to me is Chris Pratt's acting.

• 9:01Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 9:02Travis McElroy?

  It's like you, they give it to you and you're like, what do you want me to do with this? Is it acting? And they're like, well, sort of. I mean, it could be acting.

• 9:10Griffin McElroy?

  Could be.

• 9:10Travis McElroy?

  Don't eat it.

• 9:11Griffin McElroy?

  Don't eat that.

• 9:12Travis McElroy?

  Don't eat it. But if you accidentally did, you won't die.

• 9:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 9:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. It's, you won't die. You'll live through it. You'll have no poops.

• 9:22Griffin McElroy?

  You won't shit.

• 9:22Travis McElroy?

  That does happen every time I watch one of the Jurassic World movies. I don't poop for days.

• 9:27Griffin McElroy?

  I saw the Garfield movie twice in theaters and I'm, I mean, I had to go to the hospital and get it cut out.

• 9:34Travis McElroy?

  If you think that the same person can play a dinosaur adventure man and the world's laziest cat.

• 9:44Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 9:45Travis McElroy?

  I give you credit for that. Like, because there's probably an actor that has that range. It's not Chris Pratt.

• 9:53Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 9:53Travis McElroy?

  Do you know what I'm saying? Like it's not, it's certainly not Chris Pratt.

• 10:00Griffin McElroy?

  Luis?

• 10:00Travis McElroy?

  He's not a dinosaur man and a fat lazy cat and the hero plumber of the day. I don't think he's all of those. What it is, Justin, is Chris Pratt has range, but no aim. So he can fire arrows wildly in any direction.

• 10:15Griffin McElroy?

  Here's what's fucked up. His Mario is a great Garfield. His Garfield is a pretty good dinosaur adventure man. He's just kinda always one to the left.

• 10:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Chris Pratt's Star Lord brought about the idea into the MCU that literally anybody could be a Marvel superhero. And I swear to God, it was the beginning of the end for the whole enterprise. The moment that, the moment the audience saw themselves represented on the screen by Chris Pratt was the fucking first coffin nail. Now we're just watching a guy with a tape player running around shooting aliens. We're done.

• 10:51Griffin McElroy?

  It was also the first time that someone got super hot for a Marvel movie. And I, I mean, I don't know that that was as bad of a sort of transition.

• 10:59Travis McElroy?

  Obviously you didn't see Eric Bana, but alright.

• 11:02Griffin McElroy?

  You're right. Damn, you're right. Eric Bana.

• 11:03Travis McElroy?

  He hulked out, man. He was like eight feet tall.

• 11:06Griffin McElroy?

  Well.

• 11:07Travis McElroy?

  He got puged. Yeah. Bradley Cooper doing the Rocket Raccoon voice would have been better as Mario.

• 11:15Travis McElroy?

  Rocket, Rocket Raccoon would be better as Mario.

• 11:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:19Travis McElroy?

  If they said Bradley Cooper as Rocket Raccoon as Mario Mario, I'm there day one. I was already there day one. I'm there day zero, I guess.

• 11:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Well, I think they recognized sort of the shortfall, the, the shortfall in of Chris Pratt in the first Mario movie. The Chris Pratt fall in the first Mario movie, and that's why they gave him approximately nine lines of dialogue in the second movie that bears his Christian name.

• 11:44Travis McElroy?

  Yes. They, he said this one via voice memo, I think.

• 11:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Travis McElroy?

  Is Seth Rogen back as Donkey Kong in this one? Fucking no. No. They got the reports in that people liked that part, so they had to get rid of it.

• 11:57Griffin McElroy?

  They said Seth Rogen, Seth Ro- okay, do a Donkey Kong voice. A hundred out of a hundred people aren't gonna bring what Seth Rogen brought to the role. He took it. He owned it. Donald Glover, Yurioshi, you can only say. Yoshi and you can say that also fuck I didn't know I had that in me you can say that also he takes it owns it disappears becomes it it's like

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  Luis Guzman you've got your plaudits please Mr. Guzman we must make time for the others

• 12:22Griffin McElroy?

  Who am I gonna play in this one well uh do you remember Super Mario Brothers 2 no no one does well the final boss that is a big frog that burps bubbles named wart Um be him you're him now own it become it he does he disappears where'd he go where's Louise

• 12:36Travis McElroy?

  And then he says and then he says do I need to do the whole Louise Guzman voice that everyone always loves and they say yes

• 12:43Griffin McElroy?

  And it's not in that voice he says Guzman which like do you want me to do the Louise Guzman voice that everyone enjoys

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  And it is I Danny Trejo do you want me to do the Danny Trejo voice as well oh Danny you're not in this one oh very well

• 12:59Griffin McElroy?

  Danny Trejo as Waluigi would fucking slap ass that would be good I'd love a menacing a deep and menacing Waluigi

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  Oh and give me Idris Elba as Wario and

• 13:08Griffin McElroy?

  Idris Elba's already knuckles so that can't fuck Idris Elba's already knuckles so he can't Idris Elba has to Idris Elba took knuckles and fucking turned it into A new better knuckle like Idris Elba is the fucking like the the the exception that proves the rule here cuz he took it he made it something Fucking so strong that Paramount spun off a whole series about him

• 13:29Travis McElroy?

  He elevates the material because if Idris Elba thinks knuckles is cool then maybe I'm cool too you know what I mean yeah hey Idris me too Knuckles is cool man yeah we have something to talk about I do like to picture Idris Elba like entering a club going all these nerds are with me and like getting them in there too it's nice

• 13:49Griffin McElroy?

  I hate that I'm gesturing

• 13:50Travis McElroy?

  I ran out for my second pee break during Super Mario Galaxy and I no kidding Had the thought after they brought me the cheese from my pretzel bites I said out loud I wish that had taken longer

• 14:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay

• 14:02Travis McElroy?

  If they went to go get the cheese from the pretzel bites I said I wish that had been a longer I wish that had taken more time.

• 14:08Griffin McElroy?

  It's exhausting.

• 14:09Travis McElroy?

  I wish there'd been a longer line or something.

• 14:11Griffin McElroy?

  It was an exhausting.

• 14:11Travis McElroy?

  I have to go back in.

• 14:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Travis McElroy?

  How often do you think somebody in a boardroom in Hollywood is pitching a Mario movie, Sonic movie crossover movie?

• 14:21Griffin McElroy?

  Everyone is pitching that.

• 14:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah?

• 14:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. They should just compete in the next Olympic Games. Mario and Sonic. We have a, there's precedent. A Smash Brothers game is probably actually the more like, most likely scenario. Can you even imagine all how horny Hollywood is going? Hollywood is gonna be so horny when they're like, have you seen this video game that has every character ever in it? How toyetic is it? The most toyetic. It's.

• 14:41Travis McElroy?

  If they use that as like an Avengers thing where it's like, now we have an excuse to make a Metroid movie.

• 14:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Travis McElroy?

  We have an excuse. I think they're working on the Zelda movie.

• 14:49Griffin McElroy?

  They are.

• 14:50Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna make. The Zelda movies, actually I finished that recently. Oh, sick.

• 14:53Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, you got the part?

• 14:55Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm all the parts. Whoa. I am also filming it in the backyard. It's pretty good so far. It's 13 minutes long. I, highly sexual. I'm a professional mascot costume, fully nude. I'm a professional mascot costume maker. You can't say that in the middle of asking a question.

• 15:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you can't inject fully nude into someone else's.

• 15:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm a professional mascot costume maker. And I have recently gotten into ice hockey. I've started going to a local rink with friends and supporting the team, Go Red Hawks. They don't have a mascot and I can't stop thinking about making one for them. How do I offer to make my local ice hockey team a sick ass Hawk mascot and hopefully get paid for it? That's Lucy from London.

• 15:40Griffin McElroy?

  Here's a, I know a little bit about ice hockey. And I, I think that there's a.

• 15:45Travis McElroy?

  Follow your lead here.

• 15:46Griffin McElroy?

  I think that there is a route you can follow here that is like, pretty good. It is so much easier to ask forgiveness than permission in, in this regard. The St. Louis Blues Hockey Club.

• 16:02Griffin McElroy?

  I really like, it's so cool to wear sports stuff in the show, guys. I wish you knew what this power felt like. I feel like I can really mask like so deep when I'm like.

• 16:11Travis McElroy?

  People really like my hair, so I don't wanna cover it up. My hair is kind of iconic at this point.

• 16:16Griffin McElroy?

  True, the St. Louis Blues have a guy named Towel Man. Towel Man, he sits up in the nosebleeds. Every time that the Blues score a goal, they ring a bell the number of times that they have scored a goal, and Towel Man whirls around a towel while they all scream the number of goals, and then he throws the towel forward into the front, the more forward rows. So you know, if you know where Towel Man's sitting, you can sit in the section below him. You can buy what's called the VIP towel seat, and odds are you're gonna catch most of those towels. Assuming the Blues are having a good game.

• 16:48Travis McElroy?

  Wait, the Towel Man's an employee?

• 16:50Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 16:50Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, this is the question. You said they have a guy. They have a guy. So, do they have a guy like I have a rat problem? Or do they have a guy like I have an employee?

• 17:01Griffin McElroy?

  No, he, he, he's not, he's super not official, guys. He wears, he wears shorts.

• 17:07Travis McElroy?

  They have towel VIP seats. They're, they're selling, they're marketing against the presence of Towel Guy.

• 17:14Griffin McElroy?

  He's been around since the mid 90s, and he has shorts that he painted with Blues logos, and sometimes he wears a tuxedo shirt and a little bow tie, and he calls himself Towel Man, and he spins around the towel and he throws. He just started fucking doing that. And then he's been in institutions at every, every, every home game. People love Towel Man. He gets a close-up. Every time they score a goal, the TV cameras, zoop, right to Towel Man. So that's a pretty strong mascot.

• 17:40Travis McElroy?

  But he's not employed. He could just stop coming if he had something better to do. He doesn't represent the team.

• 17:45Griffin McElroy?

  He's more of a mascot than fucking Louis. The, hey, who's our mascot for our cold sport team? Uh, polar bear, uh, call him Louis for the, like, it's fucking, you didn't think about that for a second. That's got huge Chris Pratt energy. I, but Towel Man has-

• 18:00Travis McElroy?

  Chris Pratt stars as Louis in Louis the Movie.

• 18:03Griffin McElroy?

  Towel Man has lore, Towel Man has drive, Towel Man has power. He got up there and he just started fucking doing it, and then the Blues couldn't get rid of him. So if you start showing up to these Red Hawk games and you start handing out Arby's coupons.

• 18:16Travis McElroy?

  They're not gonna get rid of you.

• 18:18Griffin McElroy?

  What's the exact number of times you have to throw your towel into the crowd before they're like, actually, I know what we've said the other times, but don't stop doing that.

• 18:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Griffin McElroy?

  We love it. Do it every time.

• 18:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:31Griffin McElroy?

  We know we've been begging you to stop throwing the towels because everybody hates it.

• 18:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:35Griffin McElroy?

  But now it's an institution and you can never stop.

• 18:38Travis McElroy?

  I think that it would be very powerful if you started wearing a full blown mascot costume. And then just sitting there until the camera pan to you and like you're up on the Jumbotron or whatever. And you're like, oh, me? I guess I could do a little like dance and maybe hype. But I wasn't planning on this, but here I go. I think that if you're a security guard at a sporting event, the number one thing you are trying to stop getting through. Fake mascots, because if you, if you get somebody in there who's like rep, I, you just see somebody in a mascot costume you don't recognize. It's like, no.

• 19:20Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 19:21Travis McElroy?

  I can't today. Like I've got a lot of other stuff going on. I don't have an email about this. Like, I can't do that. Just go to, go to, try Greg because I can't.

• 19:33Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, it's hard to judge someone who has that kind of uh, reaction because I do think that mascots have gotten nastier in the last decade and most stuff has gotten nastier in the last decade, but like you can't see some random mascot show up and be like, are you gonna be chill like Gritty? Or are you going to be unchill like the Toronto Raptors mascot? Who just devours, who just devours people, just eats people raw, whole, out in the stands.

• 20:01Travis McElroy?

  Justin, can I, can I extend, you're a security guard, right? You see six people show up, each one, one person has a mascot wing on, but nothing else. Right. And then just normal clothes. Another person, the right arm wing.

• 20:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 20:16Travis McElroy?

  Another person, leg, leg, chest, head.

• 20:21Travis McElroy?

  That's more, the head is probably the most suspicious.

• 20:23Griffin McElroy?

  The head's the hardest one to get in there, huh?

• 20:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. The head, I think you almost have to put onto a kid as they're walking in and then take it back after their threat.

• 20:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:32Travis McElroy?

  I think that that's the only way you get the head in. But yeah, you're right, Trav. Maybe the, maybe like the wing, you put it in a sling in like a cast. They don't notice that one. You got maybe the leg, you wrap like a cast.

• 20:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:46Travis McElroy?

  And then the other leg. A lot of casts. This is where you have the different casts. So you get like one person has their left leg broken.

• 20:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. You know what I think's bullshit is that mascots only have to perform at their home games. I think that's foolish. I think that they should have to travel with the teams and I think that they should have to be there. Do you think that when the St. Louis Blues are playing a game in Dallas, they want to fucking be, no, they know everyone there hates their guts and I don't see why Louis doesn't pack up and travel along with them and just try to give them strength. You're only here to help them in the home games. Kind of a fair weather fan, all mascots ever.

• 21:25Travis McElroy?

  And I'm just gonna say in character, the whole trip.

• 21:28Griffin McElroy?

  The whole trip.

• 21:29Travis McElroy?

  If I'm on the bus, I don't want to see Jeremy.

• 21:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:33Travis McElroy?

  You know, I want to see Louis.

• 21:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:36Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, guys. That's a tough room. That's a tough room with limited perif.

• 21:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:41Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like you're gonna, that's tough to win a crowd.

• 21:44Griffin McElroy?

  You have a 35 degree cone of vision.

• 21:46Travis McElroy?

  Your FOV.

• 21:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:47Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's like 20%. You know, you got, you got beverages chucking at you from all directions. It's a tough room. Mascot Pope Mobile.

• 21:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 21:55Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 21:56Griffin McElroy?

  It's a Zamboni.

• 21:57Travis McElroy?

  This is a taunting, a taunting action. Yes. Drawing the ire of the crowd.

• 22:02Griffin McElroy?

  A Zampopi, if you will, that you can travel around on the ice and you will protect him. And it's like a two, it's like an Orwellian two minutes hate. Like the home crowd's gonna love that too. Throw all your shit. Throw all of your shit at, at Griddy. He'll, he will take it like a fucking champ.

• 22:18Travis McElroy?

  And it will make him stronger.

• 22:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah. Gritty should show up to games that his nut team is not involved in at all.

• 22:26Travis McElroy?

  People would be excited to see gritty.

• 22:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Travis McElroy?

  I think that gritty could be treated like a visiting dignitary.

• 22:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:31Travis McElroy?

  Like you can't get mad at gritty.

• 22:33Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 22:33Travis McElroy?

  And by the way, huge congratulations to whoever had the strength of vision to see gritty through the creative process.

• 22:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:40Travis McElroy?

  Yes. You know, I, as somebody who does a lot of creative work, you know, I can, it's hard for me to imagine having an idea like gritty and just withstanding those meetings where you're like, no, yeah, you don't get it.

• 22:55Griffin McElroy?

  You don't get it.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  He's a dirtbag. He's a dirtbag and he's insane and he's barely even aware that we're playing hockey.

• 23:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like he's, it's cra- like it's, and they had to go through those meetings like, no, you don't get it.

• 23:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. He's a crazy dirtbag. No notes at this time. Yeah. Trust me. Please just make the co- the eyes have to be bigger.

• 23:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:16Travis McElroy?

  I told you. Just make what I told you. It's gonna rule.

• 23:20Griffin McElroy?

  Oranger.

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  He needs to- Oranger, crazier, angrier.

• 23:23Griffin McElroy?

  He needs to be able to hump so hard that his belly shake up and down. He needs, he needs that.

• 23:29Travis McElroy?

  You need him to look so wild that if he froze in place for four straight hours, it would seem in character, right?

• 23:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Travis McElroy?

  Like, trust me, people will love hockey about it.

• 23:39Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, my God.

• 23:39Travis McElroy?

  Listen, I'm the one who's seen this sleep paralysis demon that I'm bathing him all of. I have to deal with it. So, listen to me. You have to make it so it gets out of my head. Please.

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  I'm pretty sure that the person who designed gritty also designed the Philly Fanatic, which is like a gritty with a wild proboscis kinda coming. I mean, Philly Fanatic and gritty are definitely related, right? Philly Fanatic is a big green monster. It looks like if Oscar the Grouch was different in every capacity except for the color of his fur and had a huge honk and horn on the front of his face. Gritty is like this, but way wilder eyes, way more, a feral gritty, I think, is, is the Philly Fanatic. I think that-

• 24:19Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 24:19Griffin McElroy?

  That's the same designer. And so this is a person that needs to be protected from themselves.

• 24:26Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 24:28Travis McElroy?

  That's the end of this.

• 24:29Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay, yeah, got it, got it, got it, got it.

• 24:31Travis McElroy?

  Another, another question. I like to eat lunch in my car, but where I live, it is increasingly hot and my car has no AC. Recently, I noticed the cemetery down the road from my work has some nice big oak trees. Has great air conditioning and a built in McDonald's. A nice big oak trees next to the roads that run through it. Would it be okay for me to pull over next to one of these trees and eat my lunch in the cemetery? Or would that be disrespectful to the spirits that make it their home? That's from a lunching fiend. Now, I will say this, pretty authoritatively. You must make sure that driving is permitted in the cemetery first. Because you do not want to run afoul of that.

• 25:12Travis McElroy?

  If it is a no driving cemetery and you're just driving around, it doesn't matter where you eat your lunch. They're gonna ask you to go.

• 25:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, if I, if I see someone sitting in their car in the shade of a big oak tree in the cemetery, eating a hoagie, I'm going to assume that they are a detective and they are staking out, like maybe some crime boss has gotten murdered and like this detective is like, even though he's gone, I'm still gonna watch the family. Cause like, I don't know, maybe he got in too deep and he felt like he was part of the family. I don't know, this is turning into something else as I sort of talk about it, but I will assume you're a detective staking out.

• 25:47Travis McElroy?

  You boys just made me so happy, specifically Griffin talking about a big hoagie. Cause I was picturing like somebody like a Lydia Dietz-esque character. That's like, I wanna connect, I'm, I feel at home with the dad, I'm comfortable here. I'm like a poet and a poet's heart. And then they pull out a big old submarine sandwich and a bag of baked lays.

• 26:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Travis McElroy?

  Capri Sun and they're slamming it down and it made me so happy to picture. Thank you.

• 26:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:16Travis McElroy?

  Um, I, uh. I used to work a lot of mall area jobs. Um, and I, when I was on the, I used to do the Atkins, you know, when the low, the low carb craze was, was all the rage. And it was not uncommon that I would take a, a lunch break from my mall area job and then go into the Arby's that's physically inside the Huntington Mall. And then go and order a Big Montana and discard the bun. And then sit there and eat a half pound of roast beef inside an Arby's inside a mall in my Best Buy uniform. Now, the reason I mentioned this is because I can remember thinking, I don't think there could be a more depressing lunch than this.

• 27:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:01Travis McElroy?

  But I do want to credit this question after because pulling into the shade of an oak tree in the cemetery, because it's too hot to eat in my car in the sun, may be a more depressing lunch.

• 27:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  Than my retail break at Arby's. So congra- thank you so much for this mental image. It has washed away me in my blues sucking down the slivers of roast beef. Especially if a ghost were to roll up on you at that point and be like, whoa, whoa. Hey, are you okay? Hey, man. This seems sad. I've got a lot, you know, going on with me, but oh boy, oh my. You have to practice the interaction. If a crotchety old caretaker comes by and they're like, what are you doing? You have to be ready to say, it was too hot to eat in the sun. So I parked under the shade of the cemetery tree to enjoy my lunch.

• 27:57Travis McElroy?

  Just, if you say that full volume with your whole chest, people are going to be so confused. They're not going to know what to say next.

• 28:03Griffin McElroy?

  They can't kick it out of their teeth.

• 28:05Travis McElroy?

  Just having Arby's with Gamma like we used to. Yeah. Yeah, sharing one more Arby's with Gamma. And also tomorrow and maybe the day after that, maybe like five days a week.

• 28:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm having a really hard time getting to processing it. So I may be here eating my Arby's beef for months, really. Until winter, until winter time.

• 28:25Travis McElroy?

  Gamma and I had beef at the end that we didn't squash. And so this is my way of squashing the beef with my dead Gamma.

• 28:32Griffin McElroy?

  I, I want to be one of those people that see a cemetery and see it as like a beautiful.

• 28:41Griffin McElroy?

  Well tended place of quietude and contemplation and a place where one can go to reflect and sort of think about life and what's important.

• 28:54Travis McElroy?

  Take family photos.

• 28:56Griffin McElroy?

  Let me finish my serious point before you do an unserious point. But there's, I couldn't, I don't know that I can get over just how many bones are close by. There's too many.

• 29:07Travis McElroy?

  It's like a huge amount of bones.

• 29:09Griffin McElroy?

  It's hard to, once you, and it's one of those things where you can't forget a thought, you can't not think about something and once I'm there and I think about one bone.

• 29:16Travis McElroy?

  It's like, don't think about pink elephants.

• 29:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's, but for me it's a bone and then it's like, yeah, it doesn't scare me, but I'd rather be somewhere with a lower, uh, you know, BPC, bones per capita.

• 29:26Travis McElroy?

  Bones are everywhere though, man.

• 29:28Griffin McElroy?

  They're really not.

• 29:29Travis McElroy?

  You live in DC.

• 29:31Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, there's lots of bones here.

• 29:32Travis McElroy?

  People have died there so much, and the whole world, long before cemeteries were a thing, people were dying, bones are everywhere.

• 29:39Griffin McElroy?

  But.

• 29:40Travis McElroy?

  Dinosaurs. There's those things when you're, when you're a parent and you do have to look at your kid and like, yeah, we, we keep all the bones here.

• 29:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Travis McElroy?

  We keep them all together.

• 29:49Griffin McElroy?

  The new bones. Sure, Travis, there's bones everywhere, there's lots of people who have lived and died, but a lot of those bones have turned into bone dust and enriched the soil, turn into a beautiful tree that a caterpillar eats and then that gets, powers a bird, like that's all beautiful circle of life stuff. But a lot of this stuff here is fairly new bones and they've, they're, they're gonna be around for a while. It doesn't like, again, I'm not scared, I'm not grossed out. I think I'd just like to be somewhere, just somewhere, I'm, I'm a little scared.

• 30:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, just a little scared. Yeah, you could say it.

• 30:19Griffin McElroy?

  I'm just a little.

• 30:20Travis McElroy?

  But I don't think that bones or ghosts or whatever care if you have a sandwich.

• 30:24Griffin McElroy?

  No, no.

• 30:25Travis McElroy?

  If you're eating some fries, you're having a burger, I don't think that's what would bother a ghost.

• 30:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Now, wait, do you make crazy noises when you eat a sandwich? When you slop one down and you're like, nah! With your windows rolled down? Cause don't do that. Don't munch super duper loud and tear at it like the Tasmanian devil flinging lettuce all over the place.

• 30:44Travis McElroy?

  B Griffin, only now do I realize that in your head, they're still in their car parked under the big oak tree eating their lunch. That's why they look like a cop and not because you thought that detectives always eat under, sitting on the ground under a big oak tree.

• 30:58Griffin McElroy?

  Would it be okay for me to pull over next to one of these and eat my lunch in the cemetery? So at what point did they say that they do get out of the car?

• 31:05Travis McElroy?

  I just assumed they got out and that's on me. I realized this now. Spread a little blanket.

• 31:11Griffin McElroy?

  Have a little picnic. Okay.

• 31:13Travis McElroy?

  Picnic in the cemetery.

• 31:15Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think that feels.

• 31:15Travis McElroy?

  They like to eat their car. They like to.

• 31:18Griffin McElroy?

  They love to eat in their car.

• 31:19Travis McElroy?

  It's where their stuff is. They love the smell of the food in the car.

• 31:22Griffin McElroy?

  Listen to their favorite tunes.

• 31:24Travis McElroy?

  Podcast, maybe. Should I be so bold?

• 31:26Griffin McElroy?

  So I think they're in their car. I think, I think they're in their car.

• 31:30Travis McElroy?

  I think they're in their car. Let's take a break and head on into the money zone.

• 31:43Griffin McElroy?

  So Squarespace is our first sponsor this week. Squarespace lets you make websites uh that can do basically anything.

• 31:53Travis McElroy?

  Like what?

• 31:54Griffin McElroy?

  Well.

• 31:54Travis McElroy?

  Like what?

• 31:55Griffin McElroy?

  Like a business. They can do a business. They can help you sell.

• 31:59Travis McElroy?

  They run the business for me?

• 32:00Griffin McElroy?

  Well, it won't run the bit. Well, I don't know if it'll run the business for you, but it'll let you sell products and services in your time, in your time on there and then you can get paid. They got, they do invoices. Appointment scheduling? I might just do one of these. I would love to have appointment scheduling, like a, like a platform.

• 32:17Travis McElroy?

  A website for you.

• 32:18Griffin McElroy?

  A platform for me. I get a lot of, a lot of requests like, hey, um, can I have 10 Rob, Rob bucks? And I'll say, put it on, put it on the calendar, man. Uh, you gotta request, you gotta request the appointment to get your 10 Rob bucks. Cause I need you to prove that. It's a necessity.

• 32:35Travis McElroy?

  Make me a pitch.

• 32:35Griffin McElroy?

  Make me a pitch. Why do you need the Rob bucks for the fucking Mr. Beast fart race 2000? Tell me why.

• 32:43Travis McElroy?

  Recurring.

• 32:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 32:44Travis McElroy?

  If it's recurring.

• 32:45Griffin McElroy?

  It's recurring 10 Rob bucks for each, for each Mr. Beast fart. So you could make that with Squarespace if you wanted to. Um, we've all made.

• 32:53Travis McElroy?

  Make sure Tommy Tallarico gets his oof money.

• 32:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. That's, there's no way he's getting paid for that. Uh.

• 32:59Travis McElroy?

  Why does Rachel keep asking you for Rob bucks, Griffin?

• 33:02Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, well, she's, she has a deep addiction to Mr. Beast's Fart Race 2000. And she says she's gotta be number one on the leaderboard so that, so that Senpai will notice her. I say, babe, Mr. Beast is not looking at the leaderboard on his Roblox game. That's crazy, dude. But she says, please, please, I need 10 Robux. I say, you have money, like, you have money. I don't know why I, and she says, I never learned how to buy the Robux. Um, cause you can buy them off-site, off-platform, and you get a better ROI, cause Apple's not dipping their snoot in. I say, babe, it's one URL. And, but she doesn't want it. She doesn't wanna hear about it. So Squarespace, we've used, all three of us have used it to make a million websites. And it's, it truly is easy. It makes something that looks good.

• 33:44Griffin McElroy?

  And, I mean, shit, man, you know by now, if you need a website for your business or for yourself, and if you do, just fucking use Squarespace, cause it could not be easier to make something that looks good and is so functional and is so great. Uh, so head over to Squarespace.com/mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 34:05Travis McElroy?

  And if you want to, if you find that URL hard to remember, you can check out GriffinRequests.com, and it's gonna get you right there. Thank you so much, Squarespace. And thank you, GriffinRequests.com, huh?

• 34:15Griffin McElroy?

  There's no way you snatched that, no, that doesn't. That site can't be reached.

• 34:20Travis McElroy?

  GriffinRequests.com? Check it again in 30 seconds, Jabroni. Griffin called me one day and he said, Travis, I'm hemorrhaging money.

• 34:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 34:26Travis McElroy?

  I don't know what's happening. And I say, oh, Griffin signed up for Rocket Money, and he did. And then he called me back and he said, Rachel is spending $8,000 a week on Mr. Beast's Fart Race.

• 34:39Griffin McElroy?

  $2,000.

• 34:39Travis McElroy?

  And I said, I said, okay, well, you need to cancel that. And Griffin said, I don't have the courage to stand up to my wife and tell her to cancel it. So then he had Rocket Money cancel Rachel's subscription to Mr. Beast's Fart Race.

• 34:53Griffin McElroy?

  Rocket Money saved my marriage. Rocket Money saved my marriage.

• 34:56Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 34:58Griffin McElroy?

  Rocket Money saved my marriage. It says here to say it three times, so it really locks in there, but Rocket, it did.

• 35:04Travis McElroy?

  So if you're looking to get your finances in order, right? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I use Rocket Money. I found it incredibly helpful, incredibly useful. If nothing else, I, and I keep this pretty close to the vest, you guys might not know this, but I have ADHD.

• 35:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Travis McElroy?

  I know. And there are times where I will-

• 35:31Griffin McElroy?

  You still haven't told me what that stands for, but it's part of the great mystery.

• 35:35Travis McElroy?

  I will look at a thing and be like, I need to cancel that. I'm paying for that thing. I need to cancel that. And then as soon as I look away from it, it's gone from my brain and I'll never do it. So being able to just click on Rocket Money, please cancel this for me, Daddy. And then they do it. It means the world to me. Thank you so much, Rocket Money. They can also categorize your transactions, keep track of stuff for you, let you know where your money's going. It's incredible. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/mybrother. That's rocketmoney.com/mybrother. Rocketmoney.com/mybrother. Let Rocket Money Daddy help you today.

• 36:13Griffin McElroy?

  It's, I want to say now that Rocket Money doesn't project the energy out maybe that Travis has assigned to them in this advertising spot. There is no sort of like

• 36:24Travis McElroy?

  They don't help?

• 36:25Griffin McElroy?

  Well, yeah, might.

• 36:27Travis McElroy?

  Daddy, Daddy doesn't have to be a Dom thing, Griffin. It could just be a nice-

• 36:31Griffin McElroy?

  I'd rather talk about anything else.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 36:35Speaker 04

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  No, I'm sorry. No sales calls. Goodbye.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I?

• 37:03Speaker 04

  Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast-

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is a musical theater, not a Parisian bordello.

• 37:11Speaker 04

  Simply go to maximumfun.org.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 37:19Speaker 05

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• 38:11Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch squad.

• 38:16Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch squad.

• 38:21Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast with a podcast profiling the latest trends of brand eating. Here's the scoop. Ooh. Saucy.

• 38:28Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 38:29Travis McElroy?

  By KFC. Introduces drips. By Pepsi. Crafted beverages across all locations.

• 38:36Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, what?

• 38:37Travis McElroy?

  You heard me right. Exactly what I said when I said it just then.

• 38:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:42Travis McElroy?

  Saucy by KFC. Saucy by KFC. Introduces drips by Pepsi. Crafted beverages across all locations.

• 38:51Griffin McElroy?

  Can you have a sentence that is all proper nouns? Cause I didn't think that that was grammatically possible until this moment.

• 38:57Travis McElroy?

  It's a saucy by KFC drips by pep drips by Pepsi is a saucy by KFC.

• 39:02Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 39:02Travis McElroy?

  And this is what I'm trying to get. I'm hung up on the crafted beverages.

• 39:06Griffin McElroy?

  Well, look at Travis, they're beautiful.

• 39:07Travis McElroy?

  But what is that? What is crafted to tell me in that moment?

• 39:11Griffin McElroy?

  Someone made on.

• 39:12Travis McElroy?

  They're crafted by Pepsi, Travis. It's a flavor forward experience with the introduction of drips by Pepsi Crafted Beverages.

• 39:23Travis McElroy?

  You know how when you're thinking about Pepsi?

• 39:25Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 39:26Travis McElroy?

  The image in your head is like a, a, a, a man in like a cap in a leather apron and he's crafting a Pepsi?

• 39:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's the image of Pepsi's like a craftsman. Well, now they're crafting beverages for you. A new lineup designed to elevate the brand's signature chicken tendies and sauce centric menu.

• 39:46Griffin McElroy?

  The KFC brand. I mean, see, this is where it's gonna get confusing. They can't say the brand because then I'll think Pepsi's out there.

• 39:52Travis McElroy?

  Saucy by KFC.

• 39:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:54Travis McElroy?

  Has 10 locations.

• 39:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 39:56Travis McElroy?

  And all the drips by Pepsi are at Saucy by KFC.

• 40:00Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 40:01Travis McElroy?

  Saucy's like KFC, but just tendies, basically, and a sauce forward. It's about flavors. It's about sauce. It's about drips. It's about Pepsi. So it's a sauce forward and a flavor forward experience. There's, yeah.

• 40:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:17Travis McElroy?

  One, a fifth beverage, Tropical Energy Escape, will be exclusive to the flagship Carrollwood location in Tampa, Florida. Tropical Energy Escape does sound like what the CEO of like an oil company does after he's been found out, like he's been defrauding millions of people and he's like, ooh, I better make a Tropical Energy Escape.

• 40:38Griffin McElroy?

  He's got a Dr. Evil rocket that just sort of blasts off.

• 40:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, takes them right to a, a tropical island with no extradition policy. Each drink incorporates layered flavors and mix-ins such as caramel cold foam, jalapeno, and popping boba to deliver a customizable, flavor-driven experience.

• 40:58Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 40:59Travis McElroy?

  So you got a Pepsi Zero Sugar Salted Caramel Fizz.

• 41:02Griffin McElroy?

  Crazy.

• 41:03Travis McElroy?

  There's Tropicana Rainbow Splash Lemonade. That's, that's Tropicana and Starry blended with passion fruit and pineapple.

• 41:09Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 41:09Travis McElroy?

  Mountain Dew Chili, Mountain Dew Chili Chill. That's Mountain Dew and Tropicana Lemonade with pineapple, jalapeno, and mint. Finished with tahin. I don't care. And then there's Pink Rays Pop. Yeah. How much you love jalapeno?

• 41:24Travis McElroy?

  I could see it in like a margarita, right? A beverage like that. The idea of like, here's this, like a soda to drink with your meal. Surprise, pranked you, punked. I put jalapeno in it. Drips by Pepsi was built to redefine what a crafted drink experience looks and tastes like. And we're thrilled to bring that vision to life on Saucy by KFC's bold flavor-forward menu, said Scott Finlow, Global Chief Marketing Officer of PepsiCo away from home, and presumably someone who still has to sleep at night.

• 42:04Travis McElroy?

  Quote, "Saucy is the perfect partner to debut these beverages and deliver a flavorful, share-worthy experience." Saucy by KFC positions itself as a flavor-obsessed playground. Holy shit, man. Where sauces are the centerpiece and chicken tendies serve as the canvas for customization across formats, from dipping to sandwiches and wraps.

• 42:29Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 42:30Travis McElroy?

  They've used the phrase "flavor-forward" multiple times. Are there people crafting flavor-neutral and flavor-backward food experiences? I mean, I mean, that's, that's presumably.

• 42:42Griffin McElroy?

  That's nice and everything. If you go to KFC Presents Drips.

• 42:47Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, you, sorry, you maroon.

• 42:50Griffin McElroy?

  KFC Presents Saucy, based on Book by Sapphire. Saucy by KFC.

• 42:55Travis McElroy?

  Saucy by KFC, featuring Drips by Dre.

• 42:57Griffin McElroy?

  Drips by Dre. If you go there, you can eat spicy mango chutney chicken dippers and jalapeno pesto ranch dippers, and then you can drink a goddamn salted Mountain Dew with mint and tahin and jalapeno. So yeah, Travis, it is a flavor-forward experience. The sheer number of flavors you can get with two menu items.

• 43:17Travis McElroy?

  We need to stop moving flavors forward then. That's too many flavors, maybe flavor backwards.

• 43:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 43:25Travis McElroy?

  With Drips by Pepsi, we're extending that creativity to beverages with bold playful combinations that elevate every bite and sip experience.

• 43:36Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think I want a playful.

• 43:39Travis McElroy?

  Experience in my soda.

• 43:40Griffin McElroy?

  If I drink a regular Mountain Dew, that's playful enough already. If I drink it, my body doesn't, wouldn't know what to do with a Mountain Dew at this point, at 38, almost 39. It wouldn't know what to do. I don't need to mix in a lot of other stuff in there.

• 43:53Travis McElroy?

  Every time I drink a dark soda, I'm playing a dangerous game.

• 43:57Griffin McElroy?

  With kidney stones.

• 43:57Travis McElroy?

  Kidney soda. Yeah. So like, I'm playing a dangerous game enough over here. Yeah. I, in conjunction with Yum Brands and PepsiCo, am hosting three, uh, events in Florida to celebrate. You, Justin? And the, yes, I personally.

• 44:15Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, cool.

• 44:16Travis McElroy?

  To celebrate new restaurant openings in Florida. Select locations will host Saucy Soirees. High-energy grand opening events featuring what? There are three, there's, there's, there's three different, four different things that it lists as being part of a Saucy Soiree in Florida. Okay. Celebrating these high-energy grand opening events. There's four things that I know that will be at them.

• 44:43Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 44:43Travis McElroy?

  In Jacksonville, Gainesville, and Tampa. Pitbull. What? I mean, maybe a Pitbull tribute band. Like, what are you talking about?

• 44:50Griffin McElroy?

  I was just gonna say live, live music.

• 44:52Travis McElroy?

  It's Saucy by KFC.

• 44:53Griffin McElroy?

  Is live music one of the four things present?

• 44:56Travis McElroy?

  Live DJ.

• 44:56Griffin McElroy?

  Live DJ. Okay.

• 44:57Travis McElroy?

  Bikini contest? So close. Sauce sommelier.

• 45:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 45:02Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I was right there. I was one degree off.

• 45:05Griffin McElroy?

  Water jetpack, water jetpack dancers.

• 45:08Travis McElroy?

  Guided sauce bar tastings. Oh, I was about to say mixologist.

• 45:12Griffin McElroy?

  Come with me. Take my, take my hands.

• 45:15Travis McElroy?

  No, that's what the sauce sommelier does. He takes you on a journey through the sauce bar tastings. There's also giveaways. And then I assume the fifth one is recovery tent.

• 45:25Griffin McElroy?

  Are you just?

• 45:26Travis McElroy?

  IV drip. They have, they also have flaming diarrhea hole.

• 45:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Travis McElroy?

  It's a hole there where there's fire underneath it, like a literal incinerator.

• 45:34Griffin McElroy?

  And you just blast off.

• 45:36Travis McElroy?

  And then they've invented something here. It's just called a bowel movement doula? I don't know.

• 45:42Griffin McElroy?

  But.

• 45:43Travis McElroy?

  We're just massaging it through the lower bowel. You need to breathe through this part. Do you want to do this in the bathtub? Yeah. Okay, so that that pain you're you're feeling, that is the jalapeno sauce. That's making it second run through the lower intestine. That is natural and beautiful.

• 46:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's awesome.

• 46:02Travis McElroy?

  I, uh, okay, this is not as important, I would say, as this information, but I did, I did wanna,

• 46:11Travis McElroy?

  I did want to share this, this, this discussion with you. Burger King tests sliders box in two markets. So you know how things have been lately?

• 46:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 46:22Travis McElroy?

  You know how things have been lately where everything costs $800? Well, here comes Burger King to the rescue with a possible sliders box. Now, this is what I want to talk to you guys about, and this fucking may not even be the podcast. I don't know. What is happening?

• 46:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 46:38Travis McElroy?

  What is happening? I think Burger King does not want to reveal the size of the sliders. So they have made a box with six tiny hamburgers. And I know what you are thinking how that is what a slider is, but it's not. These are hamburgers that have clearly been shrunk down and then they're showing a hand holding it. But do you see what I'm saying, guys?

• 47:00Griffin McElroy?

  It's like the thumb is hooked into. The thumb has burrowed into the burger. I think they just.

• 47:05Travis McElroy?

  None of this. Really want to show you scale, I think?

• 47:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:08Travis McElroy?

  I don't believe any of those elements were present in the same building.

• 47:13Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no, those, that's a superimposed PNG, uh, definitely. These are not, these burgers aren't, these are normal sized mid 1990s burgers. These are normal sized, 30 years ago, this is what burgers looked like. And now there's six of them. This is, this does not a slider make.

• 47:31Travis McElroy?

  I don't think this is what the offering will be. I feel like they took pictures of their regular burger burgers and hit Ctrl T and shrunk them down to this size. I swear to God. They also put two different boxes at two different sizes. That one's wide open, one's closed. Which box is it? Crazy, dude.

• 47:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:53Travis McElroy?

  Um, there's the king size sliders are bold flame grilled and snackable burgers designed for whatever craving strikes. Anything snackable if you try hard enough. That's That's right. Guests can build their own box of two or six king sized sliders. Okay, Travis. So that's what we have.

• 48:08Griffin McElroy?

  That's why there's a little box.

• 48:10Travis McElroy?

  Yes, but the boxes, even with that information, Justin, go back. Scale is wrong.

• 48:14Griffin McElroy?

  It doesn't look right.

• 48:14Travis McElroy?

  The two sized box?

• 48:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:17Travis McElroy?

  Is like It's wrong. Two thirds of the size of the six size. What's happening here?

• 48:22Griffin McElroy?

  You should be able to fit four or five burgers in that other box.

• 48:25Travis McElroy?

  From sharing with friends to sampling a little bit of everything. The king sized sliders box is built for how today's guests are craving more variety, more flexibility, and this is the part that really fucking cooks my noodle, guys. No tough choices.

• 48:42Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm, thank you.

• 48:44Travis McElroy?

  That is the last line, the last line of this fucking press release. It's built for how today's guests are craving more variety, more flexibility, and no tough choices. If you are at Burger King and you're looking at the menu and you think, boy, this is tough. You need some tougher things. You need some harder things in your life, I think. I think honestly, if you decide no tough choices, I'm gonna get six

• 49:15Griffin McElroy?

  Six burgers.

• 49:16Travis McElroy?

  Burgers to eat. You have put a tough thing in your life. I would say you've made life hard on yourself. You've made a huge difficult choice without even realizing that you've made a huge difficult life altering decision.

• 49:31Griffin McElroy?

  Potentially, yeah. Six

• 49:32Travis McElroy?

  Potentially.

• 49:33Griffin McElroy?

  Six boy gies. I'm different after that. I'm different now.

• 49:37Travis McElroy?

  You may be thinking back to this moment in several years, sliding doors style, if only.

• 49:41Griffin McElroy?

  Sliders doors.

• 49:42Travis McElroy?

  If I could change one thing. Mm hmm. Oh, Clarence. Yeah. I wish I could go back. Yeah, Travis, actually, to this point, the decision to eat either two or six tiny hamburgers is really hard because that is a hugely different thing. I mean, Especially Two or six? There's three varieties. One box only has two options in it.

• 50:07Travis McElroy?

  They know what they're doing.

• 50:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:09Travis McElroy?

  That's a huge difference. If someone called you and said, what are you doing? You say, I'm eating two small hamburgers at Burger King. Oh, interesting. Here's what I want to talk to you about. What are you doing? I'm eating six small burgers at Burger King. Oh, God, I'll be there in 10 minutes. Don't go anywhere. Stay put. Promise me, David. Promise me. It also seems like they, there's no dividers or containers within this box.

• 50:32Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no.

• 50:33Travis McElroy?

  It has a fun way. Damn it, Travis, you're right about that, too. It's a fun way to end up with a real jumble of burgers.

• 50:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Give me a burger ball.

• 50:43Travis McElroy?

  There are, guys, I'm not kidding you, probably 150 discreet components in this box. If it was like accessories, right? There's like probably 150 things. There's like onion petals and little pieces of bacon and cheese slices. Like, this thing's gonna be a wreck.

• 51:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's a disaster. This box, this box ain't getting through your front door.

• 51:03Travis McElroy?

  It's not get, yeah, no way. Door smashed more like. It's not getting there.

• 51:10Travis McElroy?

  All right. Well, that's the news. That's the news of, it's really important. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I'm sorry, as I am so many weeks, that I talked about fast food so much.

• 51:21Griffin McElroy?

  It's just, they're, they're really, really, they're really, I don't know, man.

• 51:25Travis McElroy?

  Some weeks they're not wilding out, and they were really going in hog wild this time.

• 51:29Griffin McElroy?

  Had to mention it.

• 51:31Travis McElroy?

  Should I throw my fantasy football championship ring?

• 51:36Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, my God, we have so much stuff before we throw something.

• 51:39Travis McElroy?

  I know that, but I just, I really want to get in the headspace.

• 51:42Griffin McElroy?

  Daddy got you that, and it's a sports award, and you're the one who has it.

• 51:46Travis McElroy?

  If you break the sports award, that would be very sad.

• 51:47Griffin McElroy?

  Sports award, I'll be pissed off. Dad will be sad. I wouldn't throw your sports award.

• 51:51Travis McElroy?

  I could throw this box of Paul's McBrowneys I just have sitting on my desk.

• 51:54Griffin McElroy?

  Now we're talking. Now we're cooking.

• 51:56Travis McElroy?

  Now we're cooking. Max Fun Drive starts next week. Whoa. Get stoked. There's a lot of fun content coming, and I'm sorry I call that content, but that, it's just the only term general enough for all the crazy crap we're gonna be doing next week.

• 52:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, there's a lot of different stuff.

• 52:10Travis McElroy?

  It's gonna be a lot of fun. I hope you're there. Along that line, make sure you follow McRoy Family on Instagram, because we'll be posting about like, we're doing streams like the whole time.

• 52:17Griffin McElroy?

  Constantly.

• 52:18Travis McElroy?

  And posting shit and everything, and we'll be posting it all on McRoy Family Instagram to let you know when that happens.

• 52:23Griffin McElroy?

  Get on board.

• 52:25Travis McElroy?

  Can I mention to you that Montane is doing an Australian national tour in August? Montane obviously created our incredible theme song and is an incredibly fun performer who, if you follow them on social, you really see someone who is pushing to evolve artistically constantly. It's a really fun

• 52:44Griffin McElroy?

  It's so good.

• 52:45Travis McElroy?

  journey to watch.

• 52:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:46Travis McElroy?

  So, go to montanemusic.com.au for details.

• 52:51Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks to Montane. Peace for a theme. Thanks to Montane. We have some new merch at the merch store. We got the Crow and Wilson and Hamilton. There's a Miggy prayer candle, a bunch of new stuff. It's an Omnia to win shirt celebrating our, it still feels good, by the way, guys. I don't know if you still like are getting

• 53:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's very, very validating. I put it on a resume this week and I couldn't have been happier.

• 53:13Speaker 06

  Still waiting on that award.

• 53:15Travis McElroy?

  I was so unironically delighted.

• 53:17Griffin McElroy?

  Haven't gotten that award yet, though, huh, Trav?

• 53:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, no, no, still waiting on the shipping on that one.

• 53:22Griffin McElroy?

  Right. They'll reach out.

• 53:24Speaker 06

  And delivered, I assume.

• 53:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 53:26Travis McElroy?

  All right. We were talking about this with Dad recently and Travis was talking about not doing a speech and Dad said, well, at least you brought home the hardware. And Travis said, well, actually, I didn't do that either. They're gonna mail it.

• 53:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're mailing it.

• 53:37Griffin McElroy?

  Is there a safe, Travis, I gotta say, I wanna, and honestly, this could be for you too, Justin. I worry about, I think you guys should maybe buy those nets that they have at like batting cages. So that you have like a great surf. I have a huge surface here that I can yeet whatever into and I'm probably not gonna fuck anything up. As long as I don't smash the Deku tree. I don't, I worry that Travis doesn't have a great spot to chuck this box of Cosmic Brownies.

• 54:05Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 54:10Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay. Yeah, we didn't expect that at all. Didn't expect that at all.

• 54:15Speaker 06

  That was great. All right, thanks. My name is Justin McElroy.

• 54:19Travis McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 54:20Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 54:21Speaker 06

  That's my brother, my brother. Me kissing your dad's square on the lip.

• 54:24Griffin McElroy?

  He threw all the, he threw the brownies individually. Several ones, yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 06

  It was one, yeah, but each one was like one frame in the video.

• 54:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it was really good.

• 54:33Speaker 06

  Now I can only find two.

• 54:35Griffin McElroy?

  Uh oh.

• 54:35Speaker 06

  Ah, you're sitting on them. Oh. No.

• 55:07Speaker 06

  Maximum Fun.

• 55:12Speaker 05

  A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.