Noble Steed

The "fun fact" that Caligula tried to appoint his horse to the senate is a classic example of an emperor gone mad with power. The truth is, his appointment was likely a pointed political joke. But who was the horse at the center of it all? Support Noble Blood: — Bonus episodes, stickers, and scripts on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/noblebloodtales — Noble Blood merch https://store.dftba.com/collections/noble-blood — Order Dana's book, 'Anatomy: A Love Story https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250840578/anatomyalovestory' and its sequel 'Immortality: A Love Story https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250861016/immortalityalovestory' See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dana Schwartz?

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:04Speaker 01

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• 0:35Dana Schwartz?

  Welcome to Noble Blood, a production of iHeartRadio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Mankey. Listener discretion advised. It was a celebratory night in Rome in 39 AD. Dignitaries were arriving at the new glitzy palace. The wine was flowing freely, and the night's guest of honor was getting his final touch-ups. He was dressed in exquisite royal purple, a jewel-studded collar glistening around his long regal neck. Though this famed individual was not fluent in the tongues spoken by his team of servants,

• 1:17Dana Schwartz?

  he was a keen observer of body language, and from their meticulous combing of his magnificent mane of hair, he could sense that something was special that night. As the particularly raucous din of the commencing banquet echoed through the marble halls, the guest of honor couldn't hold it in any longer. He let out a curious whinny, because the VIP of this party, in Catatus, was not a normal ruler or aristocrat. He was a horse. Many horses would spook when walking into such an uproarious dinner party such as this one.

• 2:01Dana Schwartz?

  But not Incatatus. After all, this was his house. The event was taking place at the grand palatial stables, which had been built in his honor, and he had hosted numerous events, where members of the emperor’s inner circle gorged themselves and toasted him with golden goblets. Even the scents of many guests, especially the renowned chariot drivers, were thoroughly familiar to Incatatus due to all of his time spent competing at the track. The champion horse took his customary place, and even the meal served to him in his carved

• 2:44Dana Schwartz?

  ivory manger was of no surprise: barley mixed with gold. Again. As Incatatus began to happily munch away, there was a stir of excitement. The architect of that night’s event had arrived: an individual who happened to be the most powerful man in the realm, a monarch whose notorious reign would captivate historians for millennia to come, and who would be consistently referenced, at times misguidedly, as a classic example of imperial madness. This man was Caligula, Emperor of Rome.

• 3:27Dana Schwartz?

  Incatatus looked up and snorted amicably because to him, this pale, slightly balding young human, dressed in silk and finery, was simply his biggest fan. Caligula raised his goblet and, with a devious glint in his eye, made a surprise announcement. He planned to name Incatatus to the highest office any Roman politician could hold: that of consul. Incatatus understood none of the proclamation itself because, again, he was a horse, but judging by the spirited applause and mirthful hysterics of all of his bipedal dining companions,

• 4:11Dana Schwartz?

  whatever his main human had just done must have been pretty startling. I’m Dana Schwartz, and this is Noble Blood.

• 4:26Dana Schwartz?

  Quando esaminiamo la vita di Incatatus, il cavallo preferito di Caligula, è difficile trovare conti imparziali, senza esagerazioni, specialmente perché tutti i primi registi che affidiamo provengono da umani. Questi storici e biografi sicuramente hanno avuto il vantaggio della lingua scritta e dei dito, ma come molte scienze hanno arguto, spesso hanno mostrato un grande disgiusto nel coprire le figure controverse come Caligula, ed era membro della loro specie. Quindi, senza nessun storico cavallo disgiusto per fornire primi vista sulla esperienza equina durante l’empire romano,

• 5:10Dana Schwartz?

  vale la pena mettere i occhi a parte a alcune delle versioni più sensazionaliste di questi eventi, anche accettando la nostra stessa tendenza umana a desiderare “antropomorfizzare” gli soggetti animali. Quindi, mi scuso in anticipo per questo e per tutti i punti di dubbio che saranno venuti. Tutto questo detto, Incatatus era sicuramente il cavallo più amato e amato, che solo voleva essere un buon cavallo e correre davvero velocemente. Non abbiamo molti registi chiari su la sua vita iniziale o la sua pedigree, ma basandoci su quello che conosciamo della massica popolarità e l’intera industria del corso di cavallo durante questa era, possiamo fare alcune confidenze.

• 5:57Dana Schwartz?

  Incatatus nace un tempo all’inizio del primo secolo d.C. e probabilmente ha passato i suoi anni di culto in un’impresa diriguta da una delle corporazioni che supportava le quattro principali faccioni di corso di cavallo, i grigi, i bianchi, i rossi e i blu, o si è comprato in un’offerta di cavallo da uno dei agenti della faccione che cercava stali veloci. Poi è andato letteralmente in giro per le gare, come Incatatus sarebbe stato in viaggio in barca per allenarsi in una sede di gare conosciuta come un hippodrome o un circo. Ci sono diversi conti su come Incatatus ha ottenuto il suo nome,

• 6:42Dana Schwartz?

  che essenzialmente si traduce in “veloce”, ma una cosa è chiara: ha vissuto a questo. Inca Tatus revved his mighty horsepower so triumphantly for the Greens that he won the love of the faction's most influential supporter and all-around horse guy, Caligula. Caligula was actually a nickname that Gaius Julius Caesar Germanicus received as a child that meant "little boot." Those around him refrained from publicly referring to him by the playful, belittling nickname while he was emperor, feeling harsh punishment. But since Caligula is how he's most commonly remembered by the world today, I'll continue

• 7:27Dana Schwartz?

  to refer to him as such just for clarity. Growing up, Caligula suffered from several ailments, seemingly including what we might now identify as epilepsy, and he was, by many accounts, unathletic. But despite that, or perhaps because of it, horse racing and spectating played an outsized role in his "short but dramatic rule." In 37 AD, Caligula became emperor at age 25, and he quickly increased the number of ludii, or "public games" based around religious festivals that featured spectacles like beast

• 8:10Dana Schwartz?

  hunts, gladiatorial contests, and Caligula's favorite, chariot races. Chariot racing was a must-see sport of the era, with successful drivers and horses ascending to superstardom. Unlike previous emperors who mostly used such games to boost their public image, Caligula's fandom was so fierce that it veered into "unbridled obsession." Caligula's favorite races showcased the "quadriga," or "four-horse chariot," where the left inside horse was the most esteemed since it had to navigate the tightest turns.

• 8:53Dana Schwartz?

  So, given Inca Tatus's celebrity status, that was most likely his racing position. We don't have official surviving stats, but considering the best chariot horses' success rates at that time, it's likely that Inca Tatus would have had over 100 race wins to his name.

• 9:16Dana Schwartz?

  Inca Tatus must have been head and crest above the four-legged field, because not only did Caligula construct grand stables for him, he'd send soldiers to silence the neighborhood the night before races, so that Inca Tatus could sleep peacefully. Caligula also commissioned an entire private hippodrome, so that he could personally race chariots with his preferred thoroughbred. The two rode together, they dined together, and they partied together. But it wasn't all fun and horse racing games for Inca Tatus. Escalating tensions and treacherous plots

• 9:58Dana Schwartz?

  soon threatened to hobble his uniquely privileged lifestyle. The games themselves involved plenty of scandals. Caligula was rumored to have poisoned competing factions. He was also said to have gotten jealous of the fame of some chariot drivers, and even reportedly ran one over in a chariot at his private hippodrome. Although it's uncertain, if it happened, whether it was an accident or a purposeful act of cruelty.

• 10:32Dana Schwartz?

  For his part, Inca Tatus was never directly implicated as having a hoof in any of that foul play. Likewise, while it's possible that Inca Tatus's horse teammates and opponents might have become jealous of all of the attention and food given to him, if indeed horses can experience jealousy, there's no evidence that they plotted against him. Historically, these hierarchical horse disputes were typically settled through quick and simple physical displays of dominance, such as biting, pushing, and threatening to kick. The real herd to watch out for was the human aristocracy.

• 11:14Dana Schwartz?

  Caligula's relationship grew increasingly strained, with the Senate and all its prominent politicians desperately jockeying for position. This escalated partway through 39 AD, when a group of aristocrats, senators, the sitting consuls, and even Caligula's sisters took part in a conspiracy against him. The stakes could not have been higher for Inca Tatus as well. If his main benefactor was put out to pasture, or worse, Inca Tatus would lose his fancy stables, his private hippodrome access, and, being so closely affiliated with the targeted empire, possibly even his life.

• 12:01Dana Schwartz?

  Fortunately for Inca Tatus, that dire plot ultimately went belly up. But according to some historians, it served as a critical turning point in Caligula's reign and his relationship with his favorite horse. Early biographers recounted rumors of Caligula taking part in debauched orages, in incestuous acts, and even drinking pearls dissolved in vinegar. But these are mostly unsubstantiated, although the practice of drinking pearls has been noted in other ancient histories, attributed most famously to Cleopatra and Mark Antony.

• 12:42Dana Schwartz?

  To be clear, Caligula absolutely compiled a grim resume of punishing and executing opponents over time. But even his detractors seem to mostly agree that his governing style was less contentious during his first two years as emperor.

• 13:02Dana Schwartz?

  But the apparent conspiracy and number of people clearly champing at the bit to betray Caligula changed things. Rather than rein in his imperial impulses, Caligula sought to humiliate senators and aristocrats in any ways he could. Some methods were simple: he increasingly made them greet him as they would a god by performatively and demeaningly prostrating themselves before him. He was also said to have had sexual relationships with many senators' wives, and once again, horse racing factored heavily into his plans.

• 13:44Dana Schwartz?

  Putting on games was hugely expensive. During festivals, up to forty races were held in a day. There were monetary prizes, equipment costs, and the upkeep of hundreds of horses. And then there were the shockingly expensive celebratory feasts for both humans and horses. If some accounts are to be believed, both Caligula and Encatatus ingested literal gold. Caligula made sure to saddle individual senators with this financial burden by maliciously offering them the "honor of sponsoring each event."

• 14:25Dana Schwartz?

  This effectively muzzled many outspoken politicians, since they couldn't overtly refuse Caligula's calculated slights, especially if they held or wanted to hold a notable position such as consul. In the prior Roman Republic, consuls were essentially the highest elected officials who presided over the senate. In Caligula's empire, however, the consul was more of an honorific position that he would give to senators, or when he wanted to exert even more control, to himself. Or, as legend had it, a position he would offer to his favorite racehorse.

• 15:10Dana Schwartz?

  The two major human sources we look to regarding Caligula's life were both pretty hyperbolic about his most notorious suggestion for consul. For example, while describing Caligula's love of Incatatus, 3rd-century historian Cassius Dio claimed, “He swore by the animal's life and fortune, and even promised to appoint him consul, a promise that he would have carried out if he had lived longer.” However, the general consensus among scholars is that Caligula's plan to name Incatatus consul was actually all a pointed joke.

• 15:52Dana Schwartz?

  Although many early biographers cast Caligula as a vile despot capable of outlandish things, parsing their motives and political circumstances along with Caligula's pattern of behavior, the emperor comes off less as a complete raving lunatic and more a deeply paranoid ruler making spiteful jabs. His jest involving Incatatus had multiple possible layers. First, the idea of making Incatatus the consul was likely a basic dig at politicians' competence. Essentially, Caligula was claiming, “My horse could do a better job than you.”

• 16:35Dana Schwartz?

  Second, floating such a notion darkly ridiculed how trivial of a hitching post the position had become. It used to be the pinnacle of a senator's career, and despite the corrupted appointment process, the title still held the previously conferred extra prestige to a politician. But the idea of nominating a horse underlined just how harnessed any prospective consul was by Caligula, by his whims, and by his absolute power.

• 17:12Dana Schwartz?

  And finally, some key individuals' names might have been relevant to Caligula's joke, especially given how puns and wordplay often factored into the Roman sense of humour. Specifically, a consul candidate at the time was named Assinus Cellar, which could be crudely translated into "swift ass". So a quip about Caligula appointing Incatatus may have been a direct personal insult. His "speedy horse" was preferable to a "swift ass".

• 17:51Dana Schwartz?

  Ultimately, Incatatus never actually became consul, and after a couple more years of bitter and bloody friction, Caligula was finally assassinated by two Praetorian tribunes and a group of centurions on January 24, 41 AD. Even in the immediate aftermath of Caligula's death, horse racing came up. When arriving soldiers demanded to know who might replace the deceased Caligula as emperor, the vengeful tribune who was first to stab Caligula mockingly suggested that they can check in with one of Caligula's chariot-driver friends as their first choice.

• 18:36Dana Schwartz?

  So what became of Incatatus? Accounts are vague. Some say Caligula's successor ordered the horse's execution, although a death doesn't seem to have been confirmed. The relevant economics of the time offer another possibility. Thanks in part to Caligula's constant promotion, chariot racing was as popular as it had ever been, meaning champion horses were of significant breeding value. So particularly considering how many aristocrats Caligula led to financial ruin, it's not unreasonable to wonder if some entrepreneurial or entitled-feeling individual might have jumped at the opportunity to...

• 19:22Dana Schwartz?

  ...profit off Incatatus by selling him back to a stud farm. As much as that sounds like a euphemistic way for me to say that Caligula's favorite pet went to a farm upstate, there is at least some actual chance that Incatatus did go on to sire a new generation of racehorses. Although Incatatus never actually traded his jeweled collar for the official toga of the consul, his facetious nomination captured the imagination of plenty of political critics, historians, and horse enthusiasts over subsequent centuries.

• 20:05Dana Schwartz?

  In particular, Incatatus's nomination became a go-to reference when calling out political incompetence or madness. For example, a satirical column in a 1742 issue of The London Magazine and monthly Chronologer praised Incatatus as a wiser minister of the state than the Prime Minister of Great Britain at that time. In a somewhat convoluted response to the American colonies' Declaration of Independence, a British writer also used Caligula trying to make Incatatus a consul as an example of the issues that eventually arise from giving decision-making power to the wrong

• 20:50Dana Schwartz?

  people. Today, Incatatus even has his own Wikipedia page, and "Caligula's Horse" is the name of an Australian progressive metal band. From a political perspective, the notion of Caligula elevating his horse to a government position is enduringly memorable. But let's not put the chariot before the horse and get so caught up in all of the mocking hypotheticals that we fail to give the stallion at the center of the story his due. What Inca Tatis did accomplish in his life was still stunning. Sure, many aspects of Inca Tatis’ fate and the reason for his fame were beyond his

• 21:32Dana Schwartz?

  control, but on the other hoof, you can lead a horse to water, but once he sails across that water, it’s up to him to excel so remarkably at the hardest position in the most popular sport of the day, to the point that he makes the most diehard and powerful fan consider spending unprecedented resources on equestrian luxuries, the likes of which that horse’s four-footed forebears never could have imagined. From competing at the vaunted hippodrome to hosting human parties, there were numerous times when Inca Tatis could have spooked, balked, or stumbled, but when fear and confusion

• 22:15Dana Schwartz?

  threatened to get the best of him, Inca Tatis simply said “nay.” And I think, in the vein of this podcast always trying to, for lack of a better word, “humanize” the figures at the heart of history, it’s worth celebrating what a good horse Inca Tatis was. While Inca Tatis never actually made it into the government, he did get another official title. Caligula actually made Inca Tatis a priest of his imperial religious cult. This priesthood may have initially spawned similarly pointed jokes about the ineptitude

• 22:54Dana Schwartz?

  of human priests, but even if partly flippant in nature, in a way, this religious appointment still meant more than a political one coming from Caligula. After all, the emperor was consumed with the idea of placing himself among the gods, first as more of a snide prank, but then with increasing sincerity.

• 23:18Dana Schwartz?

  We may never know if Nketatuz himself had any such dreams of divinity while clip clopping to and from his grand stables, but at least if he ever accompanied his human to a temple ritual, he would have seen a familiar, long face. That of Pegasus, the mythical winged steed, who was often depicted in statue form alongside Jupiter, the king of the gods whom Caligula so desperately wanted to emulate. And in a sense, through his lasting and now fairly infamous legacy, our illustrious horse hero certainly trotted his own way to immortality.

• 24:04Dana Schwartz?

  That's the story of Nketatuz, Caligula's favorite racehorse. But stick around after a brief sponsor break to hear an additional intriguing question about our famous quadruped's political career.

• 24:25Speaker 02

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• 25:55Speaker 02

  Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound Terzepatide may be able to help. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity, or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Terzepatide and should not be used with other Terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it,

• 26:38Speaker 02

  or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia, if you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with asalfenolurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-5979 or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 27:26Dana Schwartz?

  Despite Inkka Tatus never being a formal consular candidate, some intrigued fans have mused about whether he would have been eligible based on the requirements for Romans to become senators. Per the changes enacted by one of Caligula's predecessors, these minimums included being at least 25 years old, owning property valuing at least 1 million cesterces, a type of Roman coin, and having an "unblemished" character. Two of those are easy: there appears to be no evidence Inkka Tatus ever had a criminal record, and his carved marble home was undoubtedly worth well over a mil.

• 28:09Dana Schwartz?

  The question of his age is a little trickier, as 25 would have been fairly old for a horse still seemingly close to his prime racing days. Although, that depends if we're talking human ears or horse ears. All in all, especially given Caligula's enthusiasm for bucking tradition, these prerequisites would likely have been easy hurdles for Inkka Tatus to clear in his senatorial steeplechase.

• 28:47Dana Schwartz?

  Noble Blood is a production of iHeartRadio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. Noble Blood is hosted by me, Dana Schwartz, with additional writing and research by Hannah Johnston, Hannah Zwick, Courtney Sender, Amy Height, and Giulia Malani. The show is edited and produced by Jesse Funk, with supervising producer Reema Ilkayali, and executive producers Aaron Manke, Trevor Young, and Matt Frederick. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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• 29:45Speaker 04

  Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) and obesity to improve their OSA. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Trzepatide and should not be used with other Trzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic

• 30:30Speaker 04

  reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant-to-be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-5979 or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 31:00Dana Schwartz?

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.