Kevin Hart ON: How to Conquer Your Fear of Failing & Processing the Obstacles of Forgiveness, Love, and Loss

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. Today, I am talking to Kevin Hart. Kevin is an actor, comedian, author, investor, and CEO. Over the years he has become Hollywood’s box office powerhouse, opening ten films at number one at the box office with $4.23 billion revenue at the global box office. In 2020 Hart starred in “Die Hart,” the first production of its kind, created through his digital network, Laugh Out Loud, and Executive Produced through his production company, Hartbeat Productions. Kevin’s memoir, I Can’t Make This Up, debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Sellers List and remained on the Top 10 Nonfiction Hardcover Bestsellers List for ten weeks straight. Kevin’s digital network, the Laugh Out Loud Network, serves as a platform for emerging comedians and is home to two premium series which both feature Kevin – “What the Fit?” and “Cold as Balls.” We get to see Kevin’s serious side as he talks about self love and team effort. He places emphasis on the importance of focusing our energy on finding a solution rather than wasting time on the problem, how team effort is the foundation to all forms of success, why we should always consider both sides of the story, the beauty of cheering for others success and celebrating it with them, and how self love and self appreciation must start with you and not come from someone else. Truly, there is no shortcut to success. It is earned through hard work, clear purpose, surrounding yourself with the right people, and a multitude of self love. What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:19 Looking in the mirror and being okay with yourself 00:07:38 Having parents that opens opportunities for you 00:13:06 Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution 00:20:45 It’s hard to see the good if you’re only seeing the bad 00:25:20 The simplest things came from an idea 00:35:12 Team effort is the foundation of success 00:43:19 Celebrate each other’s success 00:58:24 Talk to yourself 01:06:47 Looking at things with both lenses 01:10:16 You gotta learn it 01:15:12 Would you wish pain and suffering for anyone? 01:20:50 Critical thinking 01:25:27 There is no handbook to fame 01:29:56 Kevin on Final Five Episode Resources Monsters and How to Tame Them Kevin Hart | Website Kevin Hart | Instagram Kevin Hart | Twitter Kevin Hart | Facebook Kevin Hart | TikTok LOL! Network Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the chance to step outside of our routine. Travel is a way of slowing us down and shifting our perspective. And with the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, every journey becomes even more rewarding.

• 1:27Jay Shetty?

  Earn four times the points on flights and hotels booked direct. Enjoy access to award-winning airport lounges, three times the points on dining, and reserve exclusive tables. Learn more at chase.com/sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank. NA Member FDIC. Subject to credit approval, terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose

• 2:11Jay Shetty?

  to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  The biggest drug, it's not cocaine, it's not heroin, it's not Molly or opioids. And biggest drug is fame. Anything you want, everything you want. It's a thing. And if you can't handle this thing, the consequences attached are severe. Do you know you and are you okay with you? If you are not, it'll break you.

• 2:54Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier and more healed. And I'm so grateful for this community that we have here because I get to sit down with some of the most incredible minds in the world, people that I find fascinating, not just personally and professionally, but because of the potential and the purpose that they have. Today's guest is someone who has been on my list to interview from day one. So it's a very special moment for me. I'm very excited. I'm speaking about someone, the one and only Kevin Hart, Hollywood's box office powerhouse, opening 11 films at number one at the box office

• 3:36Jay Shetty?

  and grossing more than $4.23 billion in global revenue. Kevin has also become a successful entrepreneur. He's a chairman of Heartbeat, a global multimedia platform company creating entertainment at the intersection of comedy and culture with a mission to keep the world laughing together. I love that. Kevin is also the founder of Heartbeat Ventures. Kevin is a New York Times bestselling author, twice over, and his first Audible original, The Decision, was nominated for an Audi Award for Best Original Audiobook. And I spent my last five hikes listening to his new audiobook, Monsters and How to Tame Them. And I have to tell you, and I'm gonna tell Kevin right now because he's sitting in front of me,

• 4:21Jay Shetty?

  dude, I have not been that into something.

• 4:26Jay Shetty?

  For a long, long time, and I'll tell you why. I have not stopped talking about the different monsters, the different personalities to my wife, to my team, to my colleagues. You've made it so relevant and accessible to talk about your flaws in a way that I've never seen before. So, thank you so much for being here, man.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 4:45Jay Shetty?

  So grateful to be sitting with you.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Thank you. And, you know, uh, you know, when flowers are thrown out, I believe that they should, uh, they should sometimes be returned. And in this case, man, I'm here for a reason. The work that you've done, the success that you've had is groundbreaking. Uh, so major congrats to you. I just want to say there's an, there's an equal level of appreciation and excitement for the moment, man. You've done some, uh, some groundbreaking podcasts. Uh, your guests to how you've gotten people to open up the conversations that you've had. More importantly, you know, um, the lives that you're saving by just being transparent, authentic, and true to who you are. I think it's, it's dope as hell. So, uh, it's an honor to sit across from you. I'm excited about the conversation. Um, and it's one that's been on my, my list as well.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  So I'm glad that, you know, we finally got it worked out to where we can make this happen.

• 5:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you, man. That's, that's very kind and it's really beautiful hearing that from you, honestly. So, let's dive in before we keep going back and forth with roses.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 5:39Jay Shetty?

  Let's get it, uh, you know. One of the things I want to start off, and this is going to take us anywhere and everywhere, is how does it feel when you're winning? And then you discover you got monsters? Because that's kind of the journey you've been on. And I want to go back and forth in this journey, but I want to start there. Like, what does it feel like when you're winning, you're succeeding, but then you all of a sudden go, I've still got monsters in me?

• 6:04Speaker 01

  You know, when you say and, and, and use the, the word monsters, just for, for clarity, so people can understand, of course, we're talking about, um, the, the different levels to you, right? And, um, within the levels that I've discovered in myself, uh, of myself, you know, you got your good versions and your bad versions. And the bad versions I refer to as monsters, but just because they're bad doesn't mean they don't have good quality. And when you're winning and you're succeeding, there's this idea that everything is right. There's this idea. That perfection is now presenting itself in life moving forward is gonna be just an easy road. And it's not until you're in that position where you expect perfection and you think that,

• 6:48Speaker 01

  that you start to see the true problems and flaws really present themselves. And you know, my monsters have been masked in disguise in various different ways, but I've been able to pinpoint them throughout the years. Because some of those monsters grew, got stronger, developed. You're talking about the world of an ego, the idea of who you think you are versus what you are. Or the idea of expectations and needs as to what you feel you need and what you have to have. That's a monster that's feeding that, right? That engine of, well, now that I'm making money, this is what I should have.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  This is how I should look. This is how I'm supposed to be. That's a monster that you're feeding because ultimately you're buying in to something that you're creating. You're enhancing this world of thought. And it's not till you sit down and you take a breather and you start to really kinda, you start to really figure out the true definition of happiness for you. You start to really understand the adult that you have grown into and the level of maturity that has now, I guess you can say, have been banked inside the human that you are. You're banking so much over the years.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  And ultimately, you're shaping and molding yourself into this grounded, hopefully, this grounded individual that you're proud to look at in the mirror at the end of the day. I had to start to, I had to get to a place to where I was looking in the mirror and I was proud of what I was looking at and I was okay with checking myself. I was okay with pointing out my flaws. I was okay with knowing what I do well and what I do wrong. And at the end of the day, there's no consequence to always improving. There's no consequence to. Growing, you're in a time now where people almost frown upon the world of growth. I embrace that. I embrace the world of correction.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  So the monsters in the world of how to tame them came from me understanding the different levels of monsters that have presented themselves to me over the years and me getting them to a point to where I put them in a place where I can control them. They're still there. They can rear their heads, but I can say, sit down. That's not necessary. That's not needed. And I can tell when one is trying to take me back to a place of old. But at the age forty-three, it's exciting to know that I've grown from so much. And, and you know, the, the world of want is significantly different than what it once was.

• 9:31Jay Shetty?

  It's really interesting. You use the analogy of like looking in the mirror and being okay with yourself. And when you said that, I was thinking, yeah, when you look in the mirror, there's no trophies. The reflection doesn't show the trophies, the wins, the money, the whatever else. It just shows you you. And the fact that you've had the courage to look at that. Where do you think, when you track back, I've always been fascinated by memories that we hold from our childhood that have left an imprint that's really strong in our lives, whether it be positive, challenging, whatever it may be. What's a, what's a difficult memory from childhood, do you think that has been the catalyst for so many things in your life? Is there anything that you go back to that you're like, I can see how that, and I had to turn that into a positive?

• 10:16Speaker 01

  I think the biggest memory for me is the, the one of being complacent. You know, as a child, I, I wasn't really a kid that embraced the world of challenge. Right? I was very complacent. I was okay with being a subpar to low average student, right? I was okay with not trying. I was okay with not giving my all. And I was kind of okay with getting over, right? So the biggest memory that I have in my childhood is like when I got to that early teen years, that twelve, that thirteen, that fourteen, being sneaky and thinking that you're constantly.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  One-upping someone was the, the, that's what I was embracing at the highest level. Do your homework. I did it. Did you really do your homework? I did it. And you taking my word for it and not checking my homework. Oh, I didn't do it, but you think I did. I got over. Uh, ultimately, you're, you're slowly cheating yourself over the course of years. And it's not until you get a reality check as to why that work was necessary that you realize you're just not doing what you're supposed to do with your life, right? You're not, you're not giving your all. I had a lot of different examples of that. I truly had a mom that made sure that I had.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  And I didn't take advantage or embrace, um, the real work that she put in until I got to an older age of true understanding. But to be honest, I really threw a lot of those things to the side. The extracurricular activities, the swim teams, the, the football teams, the basketball teams, the track and field, the baseball. All of these things as a kid, you don't understand your parents are doing to try to provide you with a world of opportunity. They're trying to keep you occupied. They're trying to embrace this idea of hard work, effort, activity, engage. They're doing all those things or all of these things to their kids

• 12:16Speaker 01

  or hopefully, right, for their kids to put their kids in a position to just want, right? Want the best, compete, uh, study, learn, be excited about their future. That light bulb went off late. Thankfully, when it went off, it went off at the, the right time. And I was able to identify a lot of stuff that I couldn't then. And also thankfully that a lot of the lessons that my mom constantly embedded in me about you don't start things that you're not going to finish. You don't quit, apply your all, do this or don't do it. You're not cheating anybody but yourself. All of these things that I heard over the course of time. There was a moment when I got older, it, it, it, it all hit at the same time.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  But the real memory for me now, looking back, is I'm glad that I do see that, that I am aware of that, because not being aware of that is the hugest loss. Thinking that I took full advantage, thinking that I really applied or tried myself, thinking that that was a hundred percent would be the real loss. So one of my best memories is knowing that at one point I was a slagger. You know, I was the guy that wanted to look like he was doing, but never truly was. Unless it was something that I loved and embraced and, you know, that was basketball. But the chances of me making that were very slim. But, you know, that's to answer your question.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  It's a ballpark of those memories that I now look back on that I appreciate, but that also act as the fuel for the hard work and the hundred percent that you see that I put into everything I do today.

• 13:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's such a great reframe around what you saw as a bigger loss. I think that's so powerful for you to sit here and say, actually, I'm really happy that I can see that I wasn't putting my best foot forward because that helps me be grateful to my mom. It helps me understand it from a different perspective. And the one thing that came to mind for me when I'm listening to you say that is there's this quote that says, "The day you realize your parents were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong."

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 14:21Jay Shetty?

  And that's always been one of those statements that I think about that in my own self. I thought my parents were wrong my entire teenage life and I think most teenagers do. And then all of a sudden I hit my mid twenties and I'm like, oh, wait a minute. My mom's been through a lot, you know, my parents put in a lot of sacrifice. And so I love that you brought that up. I mean, one of the reasons we pushed this show back was you lost your father recently. And when I heard the news, obviously, you know, my love and condolences to your family. And I was, I was looking at what you were sharing and, and commenting about. And there was this one thing that you said that, that really stuck with me. And you said that my kids actually think I'm the coolest dad on the planet. I know why I am the way I am.

• 15:06Jay Shetty?

  My dad has a lot to do with that. The mistakes that my dad made, you know, the decisions to do drugs, being in and out of jail, in and out of your lives. I saw firsthand what not being present did because of that. I now know what being present means. I know what I can do. I know what effect it can have when your child coming up. But it sounded like, obviously, when you lost your father recently, it sounds like you've, you'd reconcile, like you'd built somewhat of a connection.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  You know, me and my dad, we. We weren't the closest, um, but we weren't not close. My dad, uh, at the end of the day, I'm gonna love my dad for simply being my dad. And then my dad's life, you know, had several different versions of, of drastic downs, right? A small amount of ups, but a lot of downs. I can easily sit here and ridicule or judge my dad for the mistakes that he made or for his past, but that does nothing. It, I don't, I don't like to focus on problem, I focus on solution.

• 16:09Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  So with me and my dad and our relationship, it was always one of solution. Like you can't go back and fix the years that you weren't present. There's, there is nothing that we can do about that time. We can have a conversation about it, we can talk about it. And then me and my dad talking, my biggest thing was you don't have to focus on what you can't change. The fact that you're here now and that you made a decision to, uh, get clean, to turn your life around. It's never too late. My dad was, you know, fifty plus at the time when he said, I'm gonna go ahead and figure it out. And I'mma, I'mma close that door and I'mma work on this other door. This door over here was, like I said, jail, drugs, um, in and out of his kid's life,

• 16:55Speaker 01

  uh, to the point where, you know, there was a, there was a time when we didn't know where my dad was. And I, I bumped into my dad on the train, I tell a story. Um, I bumped into my dad on a public transportation in Philadelphia. Like not seeing him in years, I randomly saw my dad. And my dad was so embarrassed, he got off the train and ran. But it's like, that's, that's where

• 17:15Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  that world and that relationship was. And what I do very well, I don't hold on to grudges or gripes.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  It takes too much time. It takes too much energy. Things will work themselves out. They never not have. It always work itself out. And then my dad worked it out, right? Like, it's about the grandkids. And our relationship got better as he embraced the opportunity to be a great grandpa. And seeing him try to do that right was his way of saying, I wish I could have done this right for you. I can't. Like, I know what you're saying without saying it. Sometimes you don't, you don't need words. Although some people do need them, sometimes your actions are a little better. And my dad's actions in trying his best to be an unbelievable grandfather

• 18:10Speaker 01

  made our father-son relationship that much better. And, you know, there was a lot of conflict between my brother and my dad. And seeing that mend over the time. And just saying, look, I'm, I'm not supposed to be here. Dad, look at what your son has done. Look at where I am. Being that I can, I want to make sure that you get to see some dope things in life. Here, let's do this and take that and live like this and do. So, things work themselves out. His reward for giving his energy to something positive and life-changing was his son becoming successful and his son saying, Dad, huh?

• 18:56Speaker 01

  It's not expected. That wasn't the plan. You got a great piece of light at the end of that dark tunnel that you didn't expect, that I didn't expect, because I didn't expect to be here. So, everything kind of, it works itself out.

• 19:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  And, you know, and losing my dad is when you look back and you go, yo, he was all right. Right? Like, my, my reflection, my conversation, my words when I speak on behalf of my father, they're so positive and dope because he did good.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  I'm alright.

• 19:27Jay Shetty?

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  I came out okay. Mom, Dad, you did good. Like, whatever, whatever you did to, to put whatever recipe in this pot, the food came out alright. I'm a good person, I got a good heart. I treat people with respect. Ultimately, I want the most that I can possibly get out of life. I love to love. I'm a good dude. Am I perfect? No. I got some of them imperfections over there. I got some of the ones from over here, from my man Dad. Okay. That's life.

• 20:01Jay Shetty?

  Of course.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  I'mma figure it out, but I, I figure it out without the want or need for problem.

• 20:12Jay Shetty?

  That's real, man. I mean, I, I, listening to you say that, what I appreciate so much is about how you're changing our perspective again, that often we feel to heal, what was broken needs to be fixed. And actually, what you've just said is, seeing him try with the grandkids, that's not even the area that needed fixing or was broken, but seeing that starts to create some healing.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  That's the best example that I can ask for.

• 20:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Because it's not about, it's not about us, right? Like, me and my ex-wife got to a point of realization, you know, after having a significant amount of ups and downs, you know, after our divorce. We got to a point where you realize it's not about us. Like, we, we did it. We had our opportunity and we're now adults. How we choose to live as adults, well, that's a choice that we make, but we're trying to make the best choices so that they have a better life. So it's about them.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  When I see somebody making the efforts to make life for them better, well, then we're on the same page.

• 21:26Jay Shetty?

  We have the same vision.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  We have the same vision. It's not, it's not about us at this point. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to do things, to create change, to move ground, shift the gears so that they have a much better opportunity than what we did.

• 21:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  That's, that's the world of the baton being passed correctly. And if you understand that and you have that mindset, you approach your day to day differently. And I do. I do have that mindset and it's one thing that I'm very thankful for. And through the things that should be problems or were supposed to be problems, I've never held on to them long enough. And by the way, just bringing it back full circle, that's a monster. That grudge monster, that's a monster. That I'm gonna get you back. I'mma, wait, you just watch. I'mma hold on to that and I'mma prove to you or I'mma show you. Or I'm not talking to nobody over here.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  That's a monster. So you can fuel that monster or that monster doesn't have to have an existence in me.

• 22:40Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my on purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jayshetty.me and get yours today.

• 23:16Jay Shetty?

  This year, create positive habits that make you feel good and feel productive, like learning with Wondrium. Wondrium is an educational platform with content covering almost any topic you can imagine. With Wondrium, you get unlimited access to thousands of hours of trustworthy audio and video courses, documentaries, tutorials, and more. With programs about everything from history to science to baking, there's something for everyone. The Wondrium app allows you to take your love of learning to the next level. Get inspired anytime, anywhere, learning from top experts and university professors with ad-free curated content without any pressure of homework or exams.

• 23:59Jay Shetty?

  Right now, I'm diving into the program "Finding Strength in Mental Health." It's so powerful and inspiring to hear successful individuals share how they fought their own battles with mental illness and how these experiences made them stronger. My personal favorite is Mary Lambert's episode about how she found an escape through songwriting and poetry. It's truly moving to hear about the healing power art can bring to us. Think of how much you can learn this year with a subscription to Wondrium. To ring in 2023, Wondrium is offering my listeners a 23-day free trial. But it's only available if you sign up through my special URL. Go to wondrium.com/j.

• 24:41Jay Shetty?

  That's W-O-N-D-R-I-U-M dot com forward slash J. Wondrium dot com forward slash J. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you're at your best, you can do great things. But sometimes, life gets you bogged down and you may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up the way that you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of yourself. And when you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything life throws at you. Some things that helped me show up as my best self is having a daily mindfulness practice. For me, it's meditation, some form of journaling. I like setting intentions for the day. But sometimes, when life gets tough and it's good to have a professional you can speak to that's there to help.

• 25:26Jay Shetty?

  Without any judgment, if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It's convenient, flexible, affordable, and entirely online. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Therapy can be a great way to empower yourself to start setting healthy boundaries, to heal the past that may still be holding you back consciously or subconsciously, or to even just learn better mindsets to cope with life's everyday struggles. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. To see my top three reasons why you should try online therapy, visit betterhelp.com/jestop3. That's better, H E L P, dot com, forward slash jestop3.

• 26:11Jay Shetty?

  And get 10% off your first month of online therapy when you sign up.

• 26:17Jay Shetty?

  It's really, really interesting hearing that perspective again because, you know, one of my favorite lessons that I've learned is that often the thing that's holding you back is something you're holding on to.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:29Jay Shetty?

  It's one of my favorite lessons, the idea that something that's holding you back is you're holding on to it. So whether it's a grudge, like you're saying, the grudge monster, or a feeling, or an emotion, or an idea, that you're not allowing it to let go when it no longer serves you. And being able to walk away from that requires real strength and courage. But one of the things that you said about you and your partner, your ex-wife, that I think is really powerful is that when it's just about us, whoever that may be, you're either looking at each other or you're looking past each other. And what you just said is now we're looking in the same direction when it's the kids. And so that switch, if you think about any relationship in our life, when we think it's just about us, when it's not about anyone else,

• 27:14Jay Shetty?

  you're always gonna be against each other. But as soon as there's a higher purpose, or there's a commitment, or there's a value that supersedes that.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  And understanding.

• 27:23Jay Shetty?

  And understanding, yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  And understanding that comes with. The world of communication and great dialogue. I can, you know, and having this conversation, I can point to so many examples of how it's so hard to see the good if you're only seeing the bad. Like, there's so many people that struggle with, with their version of success is because they're looking at someone else's. There's so many people that struggle with their world of relationship because they're judging theirs based off of someone else's, right? And when you're constantly in the space of not realizing or noticing your world, your reality, because you're living in what appears to be someone else's, well, your shit is never gonna be right.

• 28:08Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  It's never gonna be right, right? Like, if I'm, if I'm looking at everybody's relationship with their father and I'm going, I want that.

• 28:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Well, I'm not embracing the world of good that came from my dad. I could've went down the road that my dad did. I could've easily been wrapped into the same world of, you know, drugs, gangs, violence, stick-up boys, right? Like, the embracing the hood at the highest level. Not that I don't, because I do. That's where I'm from. But I could've, I could've embraced it at a much higher level and followed in the footsteps of my father because that's what he did. Um, but I was able to realize the mistakes he made. I was able to go, well, I don't wanna go down that street, 'cause I see the consequences of it. That's a choice that I made, right? Some don't make that choice. By the way, no disrespect to those that haven't. It's to each his own.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Um, you do what you want based off of who you seen or what you wanna be true to. Live your life.

• 29:07Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Ultimately, we get one, live it for you. Live it to the best, to the best space and place that you feel you can win at. Ah, that's my motto. I'm not here to tell you right from wrong. I'm saying- I identify things differently and I make decisions based off of examples that I can look at as not bad, but ones that if I didn't have, I could have made that mistake.

• 29:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  So without a lesson that was intentional, my dad's giving me lessons.

• 29:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Right? It's not intentional.

• 29:39Jay Shetty?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  My dad never said, "I went to jail, so you didn't have to."

• 29:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  He never said that. But hey, man.

• 29:45Jay Shetty?

  I can imagine.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Seeing you in jail, dad.

• 29:47Jay Shetty?

  That's my wisdom, yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Well, that just made me realize, "I don't want to go there."

• 29:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  Hearing how you talk about it, hearing how many times you went. Well, I don't want to go there. Seeing what drugs did to you and you talking and telling the stories, what you lost, what you had, what you don't. Well, I don't want to do that. Okay, you know what? I'm going to embrace my father. I'm going to embrace this imperfect human being. Because I'd be damned if he's not, if he's not positioning me for personal success in just understanding what I should and shouldn't do. And it seems so logical, it seems like common sense, but sometimes it's, it's not that easy for some.

• 30:28Jay Shetty?

  It's not.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  It's not that easy.

• 30:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and sometimes what I'm hearing is sometimes the greatest wisdom is unsaid and unintentional. Right? Like sometimes the greatest wisdom is not what someone said to you. And sometimes the greatest wisdom is knowing what not to do. I think we think of it as like knowledge or learning means someone's telling me what to do and they told me the right thing. Sometimes it's looking and saying, "Well, I know what not to do now." And what I'm fascinated though, and I think you're going to give people a lot of hope, listening to you today. Because when you say that you were complacent growing up, and I consider you today to probably be one of the hardest working people in entertainment, from what I see and observe and when I've watched your interviews or listened to you. You work super hard, you give it your all, you're invested from a mission, purpose point of view.

• 31:14Jay Shetty?

  But hey, wait a minute, this person says, "I was complacent growing up." And it's never one moment, it's never one thing, so I don't even want to simplify it with that kind of a question. What were the shifts that needed to take place in order for you to go from being complacent to being one of the hardest working people who's committed to something?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  I'm big on just like, um, logic, right? And- There's this, there's this like moment that I had. Where I, I, I just kept saying, why not? Like, why? Right? And, uh, Russell Westbrook is a good friend of mine. I tease him all the time because the, the one saying that he has that I, I wish I would have had, or I wish I, I, I got to first is why not? Right? And it's so genius. It's so genius. It's so simple, but yet so profound. You don't just have to have one job. And working any job and whether that job is a nine or five, or whether it's a, you know,

• 32:13Speaker 01

  half a day, full day, whatever it is, you don't just have to do one thing. You can do a lot of different things. But there's this weird, this weird mindset that a lot of people have that you can only do one thing. And when I realized, I don't have to just do one thing. I can do a lot of different things. You can be good at a lot of different things. But you don't know that you're good at a lot of different things unless you try a lot of different things. And when I looked around and I kind of just realized how the world goes around, it's all based off of creativity. It's all based off of ideas. It's all based off of thought provoking,

• 32:58Speaker 01

  then groundbreaking opportunities. But the simplest things have come from an idea. From your chair to your table to your wheel, to your light bulb, to your car, to your plane, to your helicopter, to the idea of a hotel. From hotels going to a place of people renting out houses and Airbnbs to taxis to then people driving their own cars. These are all ideas. And the groundbreaking thought that I had in realizing all these ideas is that these ideas have the potential to touch the sky if a person believes that they can.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  If a person believes that they can, well, your world of idea changes. Your reason for getting up, your reason for putting your feet on the ground every morning, it can change if you believe that the purpose that you now have and that you're working towards, based off of an idea, is something that you can succeed in. I grasped that understanding and I attached it to everything that I tried to do. I did not set out to be the actor, the director, the writer, the producer, the CEO, the chairman, the advisor. I did not set out to do any of these things and I'm gonna make it very clear.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  I don't have the educational background for any of these things. What I had was an idea to try. And after you get an idea to try, what I had was the patience to sit and listen, be a sponge, learn, figure it out. And figuring it out, there was another side of not being okay with the incomplete version of figuring out the thing that I didn't do. Well, why did I go ask all these questions if I'm not gonna try it now that I know how?

• 35:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  All right, well, let me, let me try it. The only consequence is failure. By the way, not trying is failing.

• 35:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well said.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  I'm gonna make that very clear.

• 35:13Jay Shetty?

  Well said, yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  Not trying is failing. There's a lot of things that people can't do simply because you've never tried to do it. And I'm not saying that you should try everything. I'm not saying that you're supposed to do everything. I'm saying that for me, when someone says something and I go, no, I never did that. I have to have a reason for why I've never done it and a justification. If you ask me something and I go, no, and you just say why and I go, mm-mm, that's not good enough for me.

• 35:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  I like to have a reason why. And that's, that's the foundation that I stand on. That's how I built this mindset, this, this level of energy to go ahead. Rhyming reason within my why.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Why not?

• 36:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  Well, it's the- Russ again.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  I love you to death, my brother. It's the one that got away from me. And you're a genius for saying it because it's so simple. But yet so profound. So, everything that I'm doing or that I'm attempting to do is because I started so much and I'm just trying to finish it. And I like the fact that I'm 43 and I still got energy behind what it is that I'm trying to do.

• 36:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it sounds like it's like where you're going is not as important as who you're growing into. For that direction.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 36:44Jay Shetty?

  Like the person that you're evolving into, the things you have to learn, the things you have to be surrounded by. And I think that's the part that I get excited about. It's like, yeah, like you said, whether you get there, whatever there is or not. And it's not just the journey and the destination, because I think that's the old cliche. But what I'm really hearing from you is the person you grow into, the people you surround yourself by, in order to reach this big goal, that is so fulfilling. And that pursuit is worthy, right? The pursuit is the happiness.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  It's everything. Jay, I've said this before and you'll hear so many people say it that come from where I've come from, the bottom, or what's considered to be the bottom. We are not stereotypically supposed to be in the rooms that we're in. And when we say that, there's a level of comfort, right? We're not supposed to be in these rooms. And it's kind of cliche when you say it. When you start to get in these rooms, you go, wow, why are we not supposed to be in these rooms? Right? Like, it's so amazing when you get to the other side, you see the other side, and you look back and you just look at what you've grown from. The conversations that I'm able to have, the knowledge that I'm able to speak with, and the understanding.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  I understand, not because I'm a trained machine and I spent all of this time prepping for, and you know, this is what, the idea of education was all based off of. No.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  The idea of discovery enhanced the muscle that made me want for so much more information in the space of life that I chose to love. So in entertainment and business, the level of failures that I have had, that I'm still having in some regard, the world of fixing, cleaning up, making better, understanding, growing, uh, relationships, building, it's, there, there is nothing more intriguing to me than being able to turn around and look at Kevin at the age 22 and then looking at Kevin at the age 43. This was not the plan. What, what are you talking?

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Every day is a new day and every day I found another thing to be excited about. Every day I found another goal that I decided to attach to my tree. And that tree got so many branches on it right now. And so many people say, "You're doing so much," or, "Why do you do so much? How do you do so much? What is the, what's the end game? What's the goal?" The game is being in the game. Right? Like it's, it's, it's being in the game. The foundation that I'm trying my best to create, I hope and pray that with these four kids that I have, that they look at it, that they see that they understand, we just got a shot at something different.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  We got a shot at generational wealth. We got a shot at changing the quote unquote trajectory within our culture of opportunity. We got a shot to make this normal. Once again, I'm looking past me. I'm looking at, I'm looking at the bigger piece to the plan. My kids got a bigger shot at breaking ground and making this normal because other kids that look like us, that came from where we come from and that grew up how I grew up, will now have a different level of association for what can be achieved. If it's based off of what I was able to do,

• 40:29Speaker 01

  I'm igniting a different level of thought, a different level of want, a different level of motivation and inspiration. I'm inspiring at a different level.

• 40:37Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  When I get there and at the last second, I miss it and I fall. I got there.

• 40:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  I got there and all that does is show them that they can get there. They not gonna miss.

• 40:47Jay Shetty?

  And they can go further.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  They can go further. They not gonna miss.

• 40:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  They're equipped with too much of the weapons. I've, I've equipped you along the way with so much. So you're prepared for all this war that's coming up here.

• 40:59Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  You're not gonna miss.

• 41:01Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Dad might miss, dad might fall. You're not.

• 41:05Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  And the kids coming up from under them, they're not gonna miss.

• 41:09Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  But you have to have this energy.

• 41:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  It's bigger than me.

• 41:14Jay Shetty?

  What's that, what's that one mindset that you're trying to pass on to that next generation? Your kids, the kids that come after that, because it sounds like while you were honest in saying, "Look, I didn't know I was gonna be a writer, director, entrepreneur, a CEO. I didn't have these, I didn't have the education," as you said. But it sounds like you have some, you have the mindset. That's very clear. We know that. But there's some core skills here that it sounds like you've invested in very deeply and that you're trying to pass on. If you could narrow them down to one, two, or three for us, what would you say are the skills that you like? This is how I want my kids to be able to operate in this world, and that's what they need.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  The best skill that I have developed is the skill of noticing and understanding that nothing is done by one individual. No level of success is reached by one person, right? Like there, there is a team effort that goes into the smallest moment of success to the largest.

• 42:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  And the person that wants the rewards and the accolades for it all, and that doesn't embrace the world of team and the foundation that stands underneath, whatever that thing is, is a person that won't last long.

• 42:38Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  The thing that I am most thankful for and the thing that I, that I'm glad that it has just improved over the course of time is the world of inclusion with the we. There's no I. And, and I hope that that's what I'm passing down to my kids is that, you know, nothing is given, everything is earned.

• 43:02Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  And for things to be earned correctly, you know, you, you have to surround yourself with people. That you can not only earn with, but that will support and embrace along the way, right? I have an amazing team. All of my team grows to be the stars of tomorrow. From execs to creatives, to talent, to writers, producers, directors, everybody that's underneath this umbrella of Heartbeat, of Heartbeat Ventures, of the brands and the brand partnerships, and the space of entertainment and this ecosystem within media that we've created. We flourish because they flourish.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  And knowing that, identifying that, and trying my best to support that, that's the thing that I have had to work on. And when we talk about monsters, Jay, there was a, there was a I monster.

• 44:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  There was a, I need to do it.

• 44:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  I'm gonna make the call.

• 44:06Jay Shetty?

  Me first as well.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  I gotta, I'm a boat, I'm, no. Everybody move. Watch out, I'ma show y'all how to do it. I'ma take the meeting. Hit, we're not listening to that, we're gonna do it my way. There was this heavy thing of me, I, I, I, I, I. Get out the way, Kevin. Get out the way and let other people be great. They're only going to make this thing greater. You're prohibiting that by trying to stand in a moment of, of great so that people can look and point at you. Let other people do the thing that they were brought here to do. And while they do it, align yourself with them, embrace them, support them. And as they grow, we grow.

• 44:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  That's the thing that I flourish in the most. Which is why, the first thing that I asked you.

• 44:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Think about it, the first thing that I asked you when we're here, we're setting up, I said, how long have you guys been together?

• 44:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  That's just me asking, because I wanna see what the world of your team is.

• 45:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sure.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  And when you say what you say, well, there's no coincidence that the level of success comes with a relationship that's evolved from day to said date.

• 45:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  It comes with an understanding, it comes with a, a level of community, more importantly, a want for success. But we have it together because we're embracing the world. It's not just one.

• 45:23Jay Shetty?

  I love that you went there, man. Like, there could have been so many ways to answer that question. And the fact that you brought it back to being bigger than you.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:33Jay Shetty?

  I mean, that mindset. I mean, that mindset is everything, but it's so easily missed because we grow up in a dog-eat-dog society. We grow up in a you versus me. I feel like when I speak to people in the entertainment industry as well, for years, especially if you were a minority or a person of color, you were put against the only other person of color.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 45:55Jay Shetty?

  And so it's like, there can be only one person of color comedian. There can only be one person of color actor, right? Like, it's all divided.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  I just talked about this.

• 46:03Jay Shetty?

  Oh, really?

• 46:04Speaker 01

  I just talked about this. It was, it's, you know, Dave, Chris, myself, we're very close.

• 46:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  And.

• 46:09Jay Shetty?

  And I love seeing that. That makes me happy, yeah.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  The reason why we're so close is because, you know, there is no competition. We're not, we're not competing with one another. And, you know, we all have different level of success that makes sense for, for us, right? Like, one success has nothing to do with the other.

• 46:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  And the support, the love that we give each other, that we embrace each other with, it's, it's all done with the understanding that we can all exist at the same time.

• 46:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  And the conversation of there can only be one is one that we've created as a culture. Like, you know, we really do pit our own against our own, right? We, we really have done it throughout the time. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with competition. There's nothing wrong.

• 46:59Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  With wanting to be the best. There's nothing wrong with that conversation. But it's, it's a conversation that can be had and should be had without the malicious intent behind it, right? Because ultimately, success is success, and that's what you're, that's what you're in the game for.

• 47:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  To have some type of level of success that checks the box for you.

• 47:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  And, you know, once again, if you get to looking, looking across the street and you're looking at what the others are doing over there, well, you're missing what you've done over here. And I, I just, it's something that I think over the course of time. Has developed. Uh, it didn't start off like this. I definitely was, once again, in being transparent. I was a young comic that was like, man, when am I gonna get my turn?

• 47:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  I'm funny. I'm funnier than, I need to, I don't understand, oh my god, nobody want, like, you do go through that. And rightfully so. There's frustration in not knowing or not understanding why my opportunity hasn't or isn't. There's frustration in that, but there's also a sense of calm that comes in confidence of knowing that you're putting the work in for a reason and that it will pay off.

• 48:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  And I had to make that change.

• 48:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  I had to make the change of saying, I'm doing the work. Am I showing up every day and am I prepared? And if this opportunity does come, am I ready for it? Cause there's nothing worse than it comes and I don't have a set. I don't have a tight five minutes. I don't have a tight 10. I didn't have a 25 minute set. Oh my god, they wanted the clean material. I didn't have no clean material. There's nothing worse than not being ready.

• 48:43Jay Shetty?

  Oh my god.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do the work and make sure I'm ready. Let me go take these acting classes before I even got an acting role.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  I'm sitting in damn acting classes. I'm spending the little bit of money I got doing one-on-one sessions. Cause I wasn't comfortable being in the class. I had to get the space of comfort. I don't have any roles. I didn't have any auditions yet. I'm doing the work so that when I get there, I don't have to go backwards and do it.

• 49:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I love that mindset. I think that is so underrated of, are you even ready if the opportunity came knocking? Are you even ready? And two things that I took away from that, the first was,

• 49:23Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, company- Like yours made twenty seven hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a seventy five dollar sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast.

• 50:09Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under sixteen will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built in safety features to help create age appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. This episode is brought to you by Mazda.

• 50:51Jay Shetty?

  The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July twenty twenty six, Mazda has won more twenty twenty six IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit mazdausa.com to learn more.

• 51:36Jay Shetty?

  Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. Something you said about you, Chris and Dave, which, and I love hearing about that friendship. It's so beautiful to hear about that. I read something from Bob Iger where he was talking about how at one point. Spielberg, George Lucas, and I think it was Tarantino, they would show each other their movies before it went anywhere. So they'd sit in this tiny little theater or whatever. They'd show each other their movies, give each other feedback, and then they'd all launch their movies. And of course, all of those people are, you know, I mean, icons. And it's unbelievable because you think they were so confident in who they were and what their style was. I mean, a Spielberg movie doesn't look like a Lucas movie,

• 52:20Jay Shetty?

  and a Lucas movie doesn't look like a Tarantino movie. They were so confident in who they were and what they brought to the table that they could even show their best work.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  I, I trust your level of understanding, opinion, and story in the highest regard, that even though we don't share the same love for genre material, whatever, whatever you want to call it, right? Like, uh, whether it's sci-fi to drama to action, like, these are all, like you said, different people. But you know story, you know, character. I trust that you'll be able to watch my project, tell me if my characters are easy to track, and if you care. And if you don't care, I also trust that you'll be able to tell me why you felt you didn't. I also feel that in the space of solution, you're not going to throw things at me that are not doable.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  You're going to know the context of what I have that I'm working with, what's left on the cutting room floor, what I can possibly do to do reshoots. Everything that you're going to tell me is within regards of having my best interests. That's confidence, that's also a strong relationship and a friendship that along the journey of success, as we've all gotten to the top of this mountain, we understand that your stance on your mountain has nothing to do with mine's. Dave Chappelle has made me and Chris Rock feel stupid at times when it comes to our choice of material. We have watched Dave in our earlier stages of just working on our set. And we would spend time at the cellar and one would come and we would all go.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  And Dave would go up and me and Krista just went up and we're happy about our material. We're giving each other notes and we watched Dave. There's been times where we had looked at each other and we balled our papers up and said, we gotta start over. We gotta start over. Not because of jealousy or envy, no, because we challenge each other. And we spark and amp the world of like, we want the best for not only each other, but for ourselves. And you inspire me and you encourage me. And I love the rapport that we have because we do exactly the same thing. Yeah, I think my hour is ready. I want you to come see me, Krista. What you think? Kev, I like it, but I still think you can. Kev, come see me. I'm doing an hour and 40 right now. Hour and 40?

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, tell me what you think. I'm probably gonna trim 20 out of it. I like where it is. Alright, I'm coming. Dave, what's up? Come to Ohio. You're gonna like what I'm working on. I want your eyes. Alright. Like, that's a strong relationship and it's one that I embrace. And I celebrate it often, man. I celebrate it often. I think it's very important for people to see other entertainers at this level. Just simply celebrate each other's success. I love it. Whether it's rappers, singers, actors, actresses, comedians, writers, directors, whoever. I love to see a room where people are in it and they're celebrating one another.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  We're all a part of a fraternity and, you know, if we treat it right, that fraternity will have an amazing stance forever. Right? Like, you don't wanna attach bad stories to it if we don't have to.

• 55:30Jay Shetty?

  And I think that's the most inspiring thing for the kids, because when I think about younger generations. If you grew up watching your favorite people and you knew they were all friends, how does that change the game now? Because if you're seeing your favorite people fight each other and battle it out for the crown, what are you gonna do with the person sitting right next to you at school? And I think that's, I saw that so much growing up where I've always wanted to connect with people, regardless of what we do in this space. But you saw so many people who were coming at it from the perspective of, let's see who does better, let's see who does more. And again, I love what you said, competition's not a bad thing. Let's not give it a bad name. But the idea that we've got to be able to hold two truths, we can compete and still be friends.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  And still be friends.

• 56:15Jay Shetty?

  And, and I think people, yeah, you have to choose, but you don't.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  And still be friends. You know, there was a time where the, uh, the USA men's swim team, the Olympic team, this team was just so elite. And this is in Phelps's like, Phelps was Phelps. A human fish, right? But when you look at Lott and you look at the other men that were competing on that team, and you looked at the world of competition between them themselves, those practices were more than just practices. The, the world of training before the Olympics and the battles that took place in those pools, where they got ready and they were by each other's side every single day. When I tell you that atmosphere is one that nobody else can understand,

• 57:04Speaker 01

  except the ones that are competing to be great. By the way, at the end of every practice, they would get out and shake each other's hands. Without me being here, I'm willing to bet and say, good, when you pushed me today, you kicked my ass today. Hey, tomorrow, man, I'm gonna see if I can lower my time. I'm not happy with my 200. I'll go, I'll do it with you, I'll push you. Hey, my backstroke is whatever. Hey, you know what, today, uh, on those 50s, we did the reps. It seemed like you got stronger along the way. Well, I saw you next to me. That motivation, that motivation that you're pulling from being alongside of somebody that's quote unquote, the best, or, or the quote unquote, greatest, you're using that as fuel. That's not bad. But not in one interview did you ever see them have any type of rapport and looked as if

• 57:47Speaker 01

  there was animosity or anger towards one's success. The happiest people for Michael Phelps were the people on his team. The happiest people were the people that that got the silver, that were on his team.

• 57:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  That to me, that's the mold in the making of real champions, right?

• 58:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  That's the mold in the making. Like, if if if you're in it and you have said, this is what I'm destined to do, and I'm gonna give my all, and every day I show up with a hundred percent, regardless of the outcome, I'm showing up with a hundred percent. That day gonna come. Whenever it comes, I'm gonna be ready. It's gonna come. I'm gonna get my just doing, my fulfilling, my fulfilling, like, need and energy and want for knowing that I have just delivered for myself. That's who I compete with. That's who I look at the mirror.

• 58:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Sometimes I let myself down because the thing that I'm trying to do, I should know I can't redo.

• 58:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Sometimes I'm chasing a thing that can't be redone again. Sometimes the lightning in the bottle strikes once, you're not gonna get that again. There's times where I'm so hard on myself that I miss the moments of success that I should realize that I'm having.

• 59:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Because I'm chasing this thing.

• 59:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:04Speaker 01

  There's a time where I was doing two shows in arenas a night, four shows in a city in arenas as a comedian. Go back on tour the next one, I only do two shows. Oh my God, I'm falling off. What's happening? No! Sold out six, seven shows in Madison Square Garden. What? I feel bad because I didn't do it again. That ain't gonna happen again. That was lightning in the bottle. You gotta get to a place of understanding and realization. But once again, it's the monsters, man.

• 59:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's the monsters. It's uh...

• 59:35Speaker 01

  It's the monsters.

• 59:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you talk about this in the audiobook, and I loved it. It was all about the addiction to number one.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 59:42Jay Shetty?

  It's this uh, this idea, and you'll love this. There was a study that I saw that said, because you brought up the Olympics, it sparked my brain. There's a study that I saw that said people who win bronze are happier than people who win silver. Because the people who came second were this close to first.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Oh my god, yeah.

• 1:00:01Jay Shetty?

  But the person who came third, they were happy. They were like, we weren't gonna get first. But we got in, we got on the podium. And it's that podium syndrome of, at least we got on. But the second, the person in silver, they are mad at themselves.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:15Jay Shetty?

  Because they didn't get number one.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:16Jay Shetty?

  And so that addiction to number one is so strong.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  It's a bigger addiction when there's multiple versions of it. I'm guilty of the multiple like, okay, I need it. Got a movie coming out. Movie going on the box office, I need it. I need number one. I don't get number one, I'm gonna fail. Like, I fail. We flop. I don't get number one, it was flop. It's a flop. I gotta get number one.

• 1:00:37Jay Shetty?

  It's one or a flop.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  It's like, there's no in-between.

• 1:00:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  It's one or flop. Like, I've always gotten number one. It's gotta be number one.

• 1:00:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  What happens is, you're so, you're so unrealistic in expectations. You're missing real success. Now, I've been fortunate and blessed enough to have a

• 1:00:55Jay Shetty?

  Got a number one.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  A ton of them. But I got to a place where the win was attached to the project. The win was attached to me finishing a movie and being happy about the movie that I did. Union workers are happy. And a director coming out with the finished piece of the product going, you're gonna like this. And we see it and we actually like it. And then we screen it for fans and fans go, we loved. That's the win.

• 1:01:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  That's the win. This other thing, I'm trying to control, Kev, stop. You can't control that. And if you keep on going in the direction that you're going in, if and when that thing changes, you're gonna be so hurt. That the world of recovery might not be easy for you. Your logic and what you're now deeming as like, reality for you. It's not reality. If you don't grasp the, the real concept of what it should be now. It doesn't mean that you're saying that you are ready to fail. It's saying, be prepared for the world of real to present itself at any point in time. Don't get caught up in the world of fake.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  And me acting as if I control these numbers, as if I can navigate and direct and, and, and, and make it happen. When and how I want all the time. I'm setting myself up. So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna check myself now.

• 1:02:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  Let me balance it out now.

• 1:02:24Jay Shetty?

  Huge.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  What are you doing? I love what I do. All right, well then let's be happy in what we do. I talked to David Letterman on, uh, my, my comedy podcast, right? Comedy Gold Minds. And Letterman said he was so dark at one point. Because all he did was show up and he looked at the numbers between him and the other shows every day.

• 1:02:46Jay Shetty?

  God, that's painful.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Every day.

• 1:02:48Jay Shetty?

  It's like Instagram numbers.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  He said, every day I got there and I, and I looked at it and, and I would, my team, you were not working hard enough. And I was so hard. He said, I'm so hard on people. And when you hear him talk, love David. By the way, I don't know the Letterman of old that some people ran into. I know the Letterman of now. And he's so transparent, the information and how he talks and what he's overcome. His stories were just, it was so good to hear. Because when you hear people that are openly telling you, you can't do this. You can't operate like this, cause it eats away at you. It eats away. It made me realize I did go through a piece of that. I just was able to catch mine early.

• 1:03:30Jay Shetty?

  And in the worry of like, we might fail. We risk being open to being broken, right? Like, that's the risk. Like, you don't want to go down, but you don't realize that if you're not prepared for that down, the down's gonna be far worse.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  It's gonna be far worse, man.

• 1:03:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  We have had a live example of a lot of those downs. Right? Like, in real time, we're watching, I call it The Truman Show.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  And for everybody listening to your podcast, if you're not familiar with The Truman Show, it's a Jim Carrey movie, but basically, you know, people's lives, it's the movie.

• 1:04:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Right? We're watching, we're watching real-life movies every single day. And you're watching people make mistakes, recover from mistakes, not recover from mistakes, make rights instead of lefts, lefts instead of rights. And seeing that, we choose to ignore it as if it's not real life.

• 1:04:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  We choose to ignore it.

• 1:04:27Jay Shetty?

  Because it feels like it's TV.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  And the biggest drug, the biggest drug, it's not cocaine, it's not heroin, it's not Molly or opioids, and the biggest drug is fame.

• 1:04:41Jay Shetty?

  And now it's more accessible in different doses.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  It's the, it's the biggest drug.

• 1:04:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  And the reason why it's the biggest drug, because it's a drug that makes you feel like you are powerful and like everywhere you go, anything you want, everything you want, it's, it's a thing. And if you can't handle this thing, the consequences attached.

• 1:05:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  To when that thing is removed are severe. Nobody prepares you for the world of fame. There is no handbook, there is no outline, there is no guide-by-guide, step one to step ten. There's nothing. You get it? And yesterday you weren't, and today you are.

• 1:05:29Jay Shetty?

  And tomorrow you're not.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Well, no, we're done. People get shell-shocked.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  That to me has always been the point of no return. At the end of the day, this can wear off if and when however sees or decides and if that were to happen, well, what am I, where am I?

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  It's all gonna, it's all gonna send it back to, are you happy with who you are and what you did? Are you at a point where you are okay? Do you know you and are you okay with you? If you are not, it'll break you.

• 1:06:09Jay Shetty?

  Your energy is incredible and, and just the depth, what I love about this, and this was my vision with the show and you were helping me achieve that, which I'm very grateful for is, I don't think, and I love that you've been doing this more and more with the audible, with heart to heart, like, we're getting to see your depth, we're getting to see the mind behind you. Again, as we said earlier, we like to limit people, we like to limit people into like, you just be a comedian, or you just be a race car driver, or you just be an actor. And it's like, we're starting to realize that, like you said, you're not just watching someone's life on TV, there's a human here, there's, there's a story here and we're getting that with you. Do you think it was, was this something, was this an epiphany that you had before the accident?

• 1:06:51Jay Shetty?

  Or was it that this really, because in your audible, when you talk about like how, when it's just silent, you figure out what really matters. Like, when I heard that, I was just thinking like, our near death experiences, you were told when you came out of it, you should be dead, and you're like, well, I don't remember anything. Does that feel like that was a moment that there is a massive awakening? Or were you already kind of working with some of this?

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  No, I, I had a, I was always a transparent and authentic person, but you definitely change.

• 1:07:23Jay Shetty?

  That's what, yeah.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  You, you definitely change. And by the way, still changing. I'm not sitting in front of you, yes, as an unflawed man. Like, I, I am my dad's child and I'm, I'm my mother's child as well. There's nothing more humbling.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Than a quiet room. There's nothing more humbling than the realization of what is really like necessary. What you take for granted and what we don't think twice about is not until that's compromised that the true appreciation for life, I feel like, can sometimes be had. I don't want to speak for everybody because I think there are some people that truly do get it and that truly do think whatever their space or version of a higher power is daily for life and for what they do. You know, I believe in God, so I'm not as spiritual as some may be, but I'm very thankful

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  for the life that God has allowed me to live and the opportunities that I've been able to embark upon. But I got a lot more appreciation after life was almost gone. Right? Like, do you really appreciate your toes? Do you really appreciate your fingers? Like, do you really think about your movement, your joints, vision, smell? Do you really think about how fortunate and lucky you are? It's the only time where I get a little, where I slow up. Right?

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  And when I'm slowing up is because the reality of that was significant. I really almost died. My kids and all that, like, what? As I'm moving so fast, I didn't even have everything dialed up for if said thing were to happen, what? Oh, because I'm out here, I'm just roaming. I'm out here aimlessly living and I'm moving so fast, I've yet to grasp the true concept and reality of responsibility immediately. Let me get my responsibilities in order. Because if that had have been, there would have been a lot of people with their hands up as to what, how, when. Fame is great, the lights are great.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Give a heart, give a heart, give a heart, number one, number one, number one. God was in that room. My goddamn wife, my brother, my kids. You look around, you got a lot of friends, you got a lot of people to love you, but then you start to... Well, what really matters? That's when my mindset started to change. That's when you go, okay. My approach to just me and working on me, it needs to be different. I've contradicted myself a lot since, you know. You know, I want to slow down, I'm gonna make sure I give my family more time. I have, that doesn't mean that there can't be more. The day-to-day battle of, am I giving enough?

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  Am I, guys, you know how much dad loves you, I'm here, I'm like, you know, always working to make sure I do more, but is it enough? Am I a workaholic? Okay, but that's not a bad thing, uh, cuz I'm, you love to work, yes you do, that's a passion. You get, you got something that you go after every day. That is a driving source for me. I'm not in the business of letting that go, but, boy, you better put your hands on these people and make sure. You better make sure that you are giving the time that you said you would when you were in that time of solace. Okay, alright, I'm constantly talking to myself. I have these conversations all the time, that's the beauty of taking my little runs. The beauty of working out, being in the gym, you talk to yourself.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  You better talk to yourself, you better have conversations, figure out a yin and yang of good and bad. For me, it was about personal evolvement after that accident. And still trying, man, it's the biggest battle. It's the big, the biggest battle is just doing right all the time. That's a battle. And knowing you're gonna get it wrong. That's a battle, man. When I go to a restaurant and they bring out a plate, the waiter say it all the time, don't touch that plate, the plate hot. You know what I do, Jackie? You know what I say after I touch it? It wasn't that hot.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  They told me not to touch the plate. He said it's hot.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  But I still gotta, I still gotta go and touch the plate anyway. It's a battle. So being okay with understanding that I'm going to lose and win in this battle. And this battle is not over until the day I'm in the ground.

• 1:12:13Speaker 01

  Cause you're not gonna get it right.

• 1:12:14Jay Shetty?

  Nope.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  You're not gonna get it right. And there's people with this idea and his mindset and mentality. They're gonna get it right and everything's gonna be perfect. It's not. Don't play that perfect game. Because all you will do is get let down because perfection does not exist. I do firmly stand on that and believe that.

• 1:12:34Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  It doesn't exist, man. You should try your hardest to get things right. In moments where you got them wrong, figure out how to never get them wrong again. That's the, that's the world of compromise. That's the world of growth. That's the world of evolvement. I mean, I got a teenage daughter. Nobody prepared me for the world of, you know, like you talking about gotta get it right. Are we talking enough? Am I loving enough? Am I present? Am I listening? Am I just delegating? Am I parenting? Am I your friend? Am I, there's so much.

• 1:13:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so much.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  Teenage son, little ones. I mean, my wife. It's a constant battle of energy. And as a guy who is an output, right?

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  And I don't complain about that output.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  But those that I'm taking in from, I just gotta, I gotta make sure that I'm receiving that. And that I'm not, I'm not haul assing or moving too fast. I'm not making the most of those moments. And that's, this level of consciousness I did not have before the accident. I was, I was a thousand miles per hour. And not that I'm not still moving fast. But I look at my peripheral.

• 1:13:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  I'm looking at my rearview mirrors, slowing down. I'm stopping. I'm sleeping. You know what I mean? Like I'm, I'm, there is a difference. I know there's a difference, but it's still a battle.

• 1:14:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's still a battle.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  It's still a battle.

• 1:14:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I love that you describe it like a battle because what you just described is exactly the practice we have to have every day, which is you have to revisit, how do I get it right today? There isn't a day where now you just get it right from now till the end of time. It's revisiting that every day, saying, I'm recommitting to this. I'm gonna be a good dad today, right? You don't get to make a decision to be a good dad in 10 years. You have to do today and then you do tomorrow. And, and I think that what's, what's really interesting, the reason why I asked that question too, was because I think memory is such an interesting thing. Sometimes when something big happens to us, we feel the shift that this is gonna change how I think.

• 1:14:57Jay Shetty?

  And then all of a sudden, when things go back to normality, it can sometimes feel as if it never happened, but it sounds like for you, you've really used it as an anchor.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Well, I did.

• 1:15:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you've used it. It's.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  Even when you say like, you said like, I'm, I'm gonna be a good dad today.

• 1:15:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Right? You can only try your best.

• 1:15:13Jay Shetty?

  Try your best, yeah.

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  To do that.

• 1:15:15Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Ultimately, just because you say you're a good dad, don't make you a good dad.

• 1:15:19Jay Shetty?

  No, of course not.

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Just because you say you're a good boss, don't make you a good boss. I can say it every day. I can think I'm doing it, but if on the opposite side, if I'm viewed differently, well, that will be because I'm doing something wrong and I'm not aware.

• 1:15:33Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  What I now do is make sure that I'm looking at things through both lenses.

• 1:15:38Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  Not a one-sided POV.

• 1:15:40Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not just my perception of what I'm doing and how everybody else should see it.

• 1:15:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  And doing that, the, the way that I try my best to back up the, the hope of me being perceived as that, is by putting a true work in to be that.

• 1:15:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Making sure that I'm really engaged with the other people, making sure that there's a rapport, that there's energy. Um, and you know, the wife and kids, the same thing, making sure that there's a rapport, that there's, you know, I'm asking the questions and I'm getting the answers, but I'm, I'm asking for things so I can get the proper feedback so that if I do need to adjust or if I do need to fix, at least I'm aware.

• 1:16:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  Um, operating, um, with the assumption.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  That you are or that you're doing, it can be a crutch. Like it can be, it can be a bad thing. If I'm operating with the assumption, because one day you'll wake up and they'll go, you know, I never liked when, or what acted as a problem for me for all these years was when you, and then you just go, I never knew, you never said nothing.

• 1:16:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  And sometimes people don't wanna say anything. Sometimes people don't know how to say anything. So the world of dialogue, communication and just openness is what I think I've gotten better at.

• 1:16:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  Over the time, but once again, what, it's a, it's a constant space of improvement.

• 1:17:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  You're constantly trying to improve.

• 1:17:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's, and that's, that is the only way it can be. There is no other alternative. And there's a beautiful conversation between the Buddha and a student that I love. This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip.

• 1:17:46Speaker 02

  Your heart can tell you a lot about your health. Apple Watch Series 12 measures your heart rate every five seconds with the most accurate heart rate sensing and wearable. So your vitals app, now with heart rate variability, can tell you when something is off. And your readiness score can let you know when to rest and when to push. Hear the story in every heartbeat with Apple Watch Series 12. The features described are for wellness purposes only and not for medical use. iPhone 11 or later required. Based on Apple conducted study of heart rate accuracy, August 2026. Visit apple.com slash Apple Watch Series 12.

• 1:18:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees.

• 1:19:01Jay Shetty?

  So you keep every dollar you earn. And the student approaches the Buddha and says, what's the difference between I like you and I love you? And the Buddha says, when you like a flower, you simply pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it every day. And I'm like, that to me is what you're describing, that when I love my kids, I have to be trying every day to understand from their point of view. The flower is going to show you whether you're watering it or not. It's going to die, it's going to wilt, it's going to not bloom or whatever it may be. And I feel like you've got to be so in tune with yourself and someone else in order to sense that. But I, I know what you're saying is so true. And I really do recommend this to anyone who's a big fan of Kevin's, as I am.

• 1:19:43Jay Shetty?

  Please do go listen to the audiobook because Monsters and How to Tame Them. I mean, I have never heard someone be as open and transparent as you are in it. And you're so open about all your flaws. And there's one thing that you say here that again, just, I was like, I have to talk to you about this because it was just, it, it stuck with me. And you talk about it and you say, you know, and you're just talking about the fame. And that's, that's where the idea came from. You're just talking about how fame makes you feel invincible. And then when you talk about getting caught cheating and you're like, I was in that frame of mind where I was like, it can't happen to me, right? It's not possible. And then you open up about it so raw. And in my head, I'm thinking, what is it about the monster

• 1:20:28Jay Shetty?

  that gets you to do things even that are against your own values, right? Like the monster gets so strong that you go as far as that. And when you get caught, you go, that was an awakening, but it still doesn't wake you up fully, right? There's, there's, there's a limitation. So walk us through that.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, look, you're talking about fame, you're talking about power, right? And that idea of invincible. Once again, this is a, this is a thing that.

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  A very small percentage of people are going to be able to experience or understand, right? And it's very easy from the outside looking in to go, or how, or I don't believe, or how can, right?

• 1:21:12Speaker 01

  But from the other side, not that it's right, first of all, wrong is wrong. You're never gonna hear me try to justify or excuse. Wrong is wrong, but in being wrong, sometimes comes with world of situation, the world of opportunity, right? If you constantly around bad apples, and you're hungry, and people keep saying, don't eat these apples, some people are gonna be able to hold off. You do have some people that are gonna pick up that apple and bite it. It's not right. It's not something that's justifiable to some. What's the worst that's gonna happen? I'm gonna eat it, and then what? I'll probably be sick for a second, and I'll throw up, and then I'll be fine.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  Well, that apple killed you. But your way of looking at it, in that moment, I'll be fine. The idea that comes with that level of success, and that comes with opportunity based on situation, is one that you look at is, I'll be fine, it's easy, it's nothing.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  It's not till your hand is in the pot, and you get burned, or caught, or whatever. You know, that you gotta sit down, and then you gotta think about it. You gotta, you gotta look at it, and then you realize the layers that are attached to it. And that's when the life-changing side of thought happens, right? And then it becomes about you, and how you look at yourself. How do you view yourself? And what do you expect from yourself, right? It's not, it's bigger than just the partner, of course, that you wanna respect. It's also about you and how you wanna be viewed at that point. Like, what's important? Where, where are you at? Where are you at with, with you? And that mirror, you get to look into that mirror. You know, if you all right, what were you looking at?

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  And you're fine, flawed and all, then all right.

• 1:23:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:04Speaker 01

  Getting older puts you in a position to where you just start to look at yourself and you're talking about the complete finished product that is and will be you. Those are the moments that you just gotta do your best to not only overcome, but just get by.

• 1:23:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  And, and, you know, once again, it's a battle.

• 1:23:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  Right? Marriage, love, you gotta learn it. And at a young age, when you're embedded into it, you're not gonna get it, right? You gotta learn it. It's unfortunate how the lessons come from whichever side, however it happens. But when learned or when taken as serious as it can be, of course, you reap the benefits and you see how amazing it is. But, you know, I, I wasn't that smart and I'm not gonna act as if I was. And that's from my first marriage to that. It's.

• 1:24:01Jay Shetty?

  Is it, is it harder forgiving yourself or is it harder asking for forgiveness?

• 1:24:06Speaker 01

  I think it's, I could be hard on myself. I could stand in the fire. Having another person do it, that's where it gets tough, right? Like, you throw rocks at me all day. When the other person is in there, I think that's, that's a different level. And the mistakes that I've made in my life, the biggest side of consequence has always been the effect that it's had on others. I'll, I'll figure it out and do my best to evolve and grow and however that has to happen with me. But I can't dictate how you would receive and how you would handle or how you would do.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  So, you know, watching other people hurt is never good. I think that would be ever the toughest side of it.

• 1:24:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:24:57Jay Shetty?

  That's a really thoughtful answer, man. Yeah, I, I feel like that's that genuine compassionate heart saying, I know I can figure my way out. But why would I put someone in a situation where they have to figure it out for themselves? It was, someone was reading me a quote the other day and it was like saying how. I think it was Nietzsche who was saying, "I wish pain and suffering on anyone because that's what helps them grow."

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:25:20Jay Shetty?

  And I was like, "Hold up a second."

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 1:25:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I was like, "I would not wish..."

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 1:25:25Jay Shetty?

  I was like, "Yeah," it was someone ready out to me and I was like, "I was like, "I can't subscribe to that."

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  No, that's a lot.

• 1:25:30Jay Shetty?

  It was a lot. I was like, "I can't, you can't wish pain and suffering on anyone because even though we know you grow through tough things and you've grown through so many tough things that were not your choice and then some things that were your choice, but we shouldn't expect that other people can navigate those situations."

• 1:25:50Speaker 01

  You know, it's good when you say like, you know, the choices that you make, right?

• 1:25:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:56Speaker 01

  And because of our times today, the world of what one does or has done is amplified.

• 1:26:03Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  Because we're in a position where everybody can have an opinion and there's a space to voice that opinion, right?

• 1:26:13Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  I'm gonna dumb it down and I'm gonna go to the lowest level right now. When people do some of the dumbest mistakes from crime, theft, infidelity, cheating, all of them, go all around.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  Who has vetted out the consequences?

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  Nobody has sat and vetted out the consequences, right? Everybody that's robbed a bank has attempted to rob a bank because they found it to be a very easy thing. And I'm going here, 12 o'clock, that man going break. When he going break, I'm gonna go in there. And while he on break, I'm gonna get the money and then we gonna come out. All we gotta do is get back before he get back from lunch.

• 1:27:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  And we, we, we got it.

• 1:27:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:09Speaker 01

  And they go in, rob the bank.

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  The alarms go off, ink blow up on the money, they don't know nothing. They didn't know, they get locked up and they say something crazy like, "Yo, I ain't want, I ain't mean to do this."

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  And the world goes, "What you mean you ain't mean to do it, you robbed the bank?" No, some people are that, that, some thoughts

• 1:27:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  are that simplistic.

• 1:27:32Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  Some actions are just that stupid and they're not thought out. But everything is not that deep.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  Everything did not have that many layers to the mistake when a mistake happened.

• 1:27:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  I'm grounded in the world of reality. Everything that I have done, in my mind, I attached a piece of logic and made it make sense to me.

• 1:27:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  You can make anything make sense to you if you wanted to. And sometimes it's not until consequences present themselves that you realize the idiotic way to thinking or the idiotic approach to what you feel you can do. The bigger than the world like mentality.

• 1:28:20Speaker 01

  Humbling is something that has to happen.

• 1:28:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:23Speaker 01

  You can either welcome it or not, but we're all privy to it. Minds is count and, and different doses, shapes and sizes, man. But I just don't, I don't want to say I don't like, I think the thing that like, it just, you have to shake your head, it's not even worth the battle and conversation.

• 1:28:44Jay Shetty?

  It's simple, yeah, it's not, yeah, it's not deeply thought through.

• 1:28:47Speaker 01

  It's just not deeply thought through. I was watching Biden, there's a clip of Biden, what Biden says, and this is, I, I probably watched this clip. I'm not into politics at all, but this, I, Biden goes, "I got something important I want to say and the whole world needs to hear it. I need everybody to listen right now." And he takes a beat, he goes,

• 1:29:12Speaker 01

  "I forget it."

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  The President of the United States. No, Biden didn't mean to do that.

• 1:29:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:21Speaker 01

  Biden didn't go up there and say, "I'm gonna set up..."

• 1:29:25Jay Shetty?

  For the best joke in the world.

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  And, and, and, and the middle of it go,

• 1:29:30Jay Shetty?

  You gotta send me that clip. Yeah, I haven't seen that one.

• 1:29:32Speaker 01

  I'll show it to you.

• 1:29:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you're gonna show it to me.

• 1:29:34Speaker 01

  I said to say, it was, it's something later that he went and watched. God, I'm sorry. He apologized. I'm sorry. I know, I know. I know, guys. I don't know. I'm sorry. Like, he didn't mean it. He didn't plan it.

• 1:29:54Speaker 01

  I hope, I hope my way of making my point makes sense.

• 1:29:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it makes sense.

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  I hope, I hope that I'm articulating this correctly. I'm saying that.

• 1:30:05Jay Shetty?

  I'm relating.

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  There's no excuses. There should never be any excuses. Wrong is wrong. Problems are forever. I'm saying that I don't like it when people tell you how you thought about something and you go, wasn't that, I didn't even, it wasn't that. Nope, I just, I kinda just, I just walked down there. I didn't even know that there was. Yeah, you think you just walked?

• 1:30:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  Did you get out the bed? Did you put on those boots on purpose? Nope, I just, there's actually no, I didn't. That's not what I did.

• 1:30:42Speaker 01

  It's like, I don't like that.

• 1:30:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  Some thoughts are not that deep in that layer.

• 1:30:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's, that's the difference I've found between being critical and being a critical thinker. Everyone's critical today where it's just, we try and find the flaw. And what you're encouraging through this book, through your work, and what we're encouraging here on this platform is critical thinking. Let's be open to the fact, it could be really basic, it could be really deep, it could be somewhere in between, and most likely, you have no idea, because you're not that person, right? You didn't do that. You didn't have to live through that.

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  It's a very slippery slope to go down when you talk about it, because like I said, you're in a time where everybody knows everything. Everybody's the smartest person in the room today. And that's, that's an amazing thing to me. Like, everybody's right all the time. You're telling me nobody's wrong today?

• 1:31:31Jay Shetty?

  Even if they're two, three, four, six, X, Y, Z, yeah.

• 1:31:34Speaker 01

  Everybody, do you understand that we're in a time where everybody's right? Everybody knows everything.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  Everybody is the smartest person in the world. I call them the best coaches that have never won a championship. People don't think about that enough.

• 1:31:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, the coaches in the stands.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  I mean, it's something that we're eventually gonna have to get out of. The world of anxiety in mental health is at the highest level just that it's ever been. It's on the front page. I wasn't aware of mental health at the, at the level that it is, uh, pre pandemic. I, I had no idea that existed at the level and that so many people suffered. I had no idea about the battles of real depression or real day to day. I had no idea. But what that time did, it put it on the forefront. And you get to see how people are truly battling, battling on a day to day

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  based off of perception, doubt, and how they feel based off of what I think you think.

• 1:32:40Jay Shetty?

  Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  That's a scary thing.

• 1:32:42Jay Shetty?

  It's a scary thing.

• 1:32:43Speaker 01

  It's a scary thing. And, you know, I can, I can only be transparent and authentic in hopes that people will find it is what it is, man. Be you unapologetically. And as you are correcting or fixing or evolving in you, understanding you got a dope thing to look back at, and that's the old you versus the new attempt in who you are trying to be. That to me is beautiful. Every piece of art that I look at, that I love, that I embrace, there's nothing better than looking at it from the start.

• 1:33:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:21Speaker 01

  What did it start out as? Every house that gets built, what did it start out as? Every car that gets built, what did it start out as? Clothes that we wear, what was the design in the beginning? Everything has stages of growth. Why in today's time are we forgetting that? Why are we forgetting that and expecting an immediate space of perfection?

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  I didn't know the babies come out the womb and know it all off the back. I thought they have to be taught. The way that we're talking today, that's tough.

• 1:33:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:52Speaker 01

  It's tough.

• 1:33:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  So I try my best to remove myself from as much as I can. I try myself to act as a aid for laughter, happiness, joy. And I can only hope that the conversation attached to my name will be one of good. I can't control it. If it is, great, man. If it isn't, I try. That's where I'm at.

• 1:34:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:19Speaker 01

  That's what my mindset is today, Jay.

• 1:34:21Jay Shetty?

  Well, when I, when I listened to your audiobook, which I felt was a very intimate take on you as a human, not as an entertainer. I can honestly say that I walked away from it saying to my friends and people that I speak to going, you know what, Kevin didn't have to do that. That's how I felt when I listened to you. I was like, Kevin didn't have to do that. Like, he's successful, he's winning, he's great at what he does. He didn't have to create anything to talk about his flaws. Like, you just didn't have to do that. And to me, that's why I respect and admire you. Because when I heard that, I was like, well, if he's happy to go there and he's happy to talk about how these monsters never die, and he's happy to talk about how he's still dealing with them.

• 1:35:06Jay Shetty?

  I find it to be some of your most meaningful work, at least in the work I do, of course. And I don't want to feed your approval monster either, but you know, like, I, I really feel that way. Like, I really feel that way.

• 1:35:16Speaker 01

  There's a place that you get to in life, right? Where you start to, you start like, what did I do?

• 1:35:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:23Speaker 01

  Like, what did I do? Right? Like, what's, and it doesn't mean like you healed the world or you, you know, changed the world, created this, you have something like this. I'm not, I'm not saying it for those answers. But for you, like, the question of like, what did I do? And I'm at a place where, okay, outside of the success and the fame, it's like, what am I, what do I want? What am I doing?

• 1:35:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I see that.

• 1:35:43Speaker 01

  And The information that I now have the opportunity to give, like the information. If nothing else, the information, if you really wanna have impact, you wanna try to position yourself to help create the opportunities for change. Uh, financial literacy in the black community, not understanding banking, haven't known it. My alignment with Chase and, and, and JP Morgan, but my why. There's a why attached to it. Okay. I'm, I'm, this is a reason. I got, I got something bigger than my famous success. I, okay, this is a passion.

• 1:36:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:36:22Speaker 01

  And something that we're trying to correct. Okay, in the space of inspiration, motivation, there's a passion attached to me trying to simply inspire and motivate those that just simply aren't getting motivating messages on a day to day. Because some households just don't do it. Some may not have the households that do it. I didn't grow up in a mom and dad, the dinner every night, the, uh, family prayer at the table. I didn't have that. I, that's not my life. There's other people that do have it. There's some people that just them and their mom, them and their dad. Some people don't have anybody, whatever that thing is, you don't know who's pulling

• 1:37:05Speaker 01

  from what to try to get to where, like you, we have no idea. So if I can now act as a aide that is giving you nothing but verbal warfare attached to truth and authenticity. If I'm giving you anecdotes and gems that are attached to a real life concept, like this isn't, it's not made up. I'm giving you simple information based off of me and my battles. I just told you there's no handbook for fame. Yet and still, I'm giving you in some way, shape or form. Something that can be camouflaged. As an example of how I had to handle a just deal.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  I have an opportunity to have an on season and off season. My on season is movies, maybe a standup comedy tour, maybe not. My off season, I can go and I can, I can be a speaker at. I can talk to companies about. I can go to said conventions and give X, Y, and Z. That's used to simply amplify, motivate, inspire. Whatever those things are, once again, I'm creating another door attached to a piece of passion that I discovered. I discovered this. I didn't set out to do it. I discovered it. And those that I see doing it, you know, when Will, right now, Will Smith, good friend of mine. You know, Will's book had a tremendous amount of success.

• 1:38:37Speaker 01

  Will sold a million books. It's not just because of the Will Smith factor. Will Smith is telling you the truth. Hey, man.

• 1:38:49Speaker 01

  You guys got the glitz and glamour of gold from the perception that I gave you without ever really pulling the veil back to show you everything else that was back here.

• 1:39:02Speaker 01

  I can't hold it no more.

• 1:39:05Speaker 01

  I was in this business for 30 years or whatever. I cannot.

• 1:39:10Speaker 01

  I don't want to get to that point, so I do it all the time. You're still going, you're still working. But I promise you, there's a person that will listen to this, that will understand it, and that will go, you know what, man? You shouldn't be afraid to be who you are. If I can embody and embed the space of confidence for others, to make people understand how dope it is to simply believe that you can do whatever you put your mind to. If I can help and just give you that push, I did my part. Self-confidence and belief.

• 1:39:41Speaker 01

  That's how dreams get met. Self-confidence and belief. That's how you check off goals. That's how you march towards whatever your versions of success are.

• 1:39:51Jay Shetty?

  With a sprinkle of that humility.

• 1:39:52Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:39:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Kevin, it has been such a joy talking to you today, man. We end with five fast questions. These have to be answered in one sentence.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  Five, five, 143 pounds.

• 1:40:02Jay Shetty?

  One sentence.

• 1:40:03Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 1:40:03Jay Shetty?

  One sentence, one sentence only for each answer. All right. Kevin Hart, these are your final five. Question one, what is the best advice you've ever received?

• 1:40:11Speaker 01

  Don't be local.

• 1:40:13Jay Shetty?

  Be global.

• 1:40:14Speaker 01

  Chris Rock.

• 1:40:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:15Speaker 01

  Do not be a local comedian.

• 1:40:16Jay Shetty?

  Love that.

• 1:40:17Speaker 01

  Make the world laugh.

• 1:40:18Jay Shetty?

  Uh, second question, what is the worst advice you've ever received or heard?

• 1:40:22Speaker 01

  Worst advice I've ever received or heard is sometimes you gotta make a studio respect you. You said, don't give long answers after, so I'll summarize it.

• 1:40:29Jay Shetty?

  I, I wanna know, yeah.

• 1:40:30Speaker 01

  It was based off of. It was based off of, you know, after you get to a place in acting where you become number one on the call sheet, if a studio isn't doing things to your liking, well, you know, sometimes you gotta not show up. And the reason why I say that's the worst advice that I've ever received. I'm a straightforward businessman and always have been. And the world of negotiation can be simplified. It doesn't have to be the game of back and forth and true war, right? So being in a room and having a face-to-face conversation with foundation of understanding of what you want versus what I want, you can succeed a lot more. And I've never not done that.

• 1:41:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:08Speaker 01

  All opportunities, all business, all relationships have flourished because of an understanding of communication that I've done in the room, uh, whether it be my team, studio, studio, me, my team. That, that to me has, has allowed me to achieve much more success than allowing other people to talk for me and other things to be elongated and go on and on. And you end up with a perception that's not of you.

• 1:41:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:35Speaker 01

  That's created based off of the idea of what people think you are because of the way that you've handled business.

• 1:41:39Jay Shetty?

  And what's great about that is it breaks the pattern so that other talent don't get that same advice.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:41:45Jay Shetty?

  So then it keeps perpetuating the pattern. Now 25 years from now, your kid's having to deal with it because that was the pattern that you continued and set. So, yeah, I love that. Uh, question number three, how would you define your current purpose?

• 1:41:57Speaker 01

  My current purpose is about embracing the world of we and making the we bigger than the idea of me.

• 1:42:04Jay Shetty?

  Love that.

• 1:42:05Speaker 01

  And that's, that's for anybody in the position of, you know. Whatever your version of star success is, it's embracing the word of we. Making other people feel like they can, creating opportunities, you know, changing the economy by broadening your businesses and more jobs, more opportunities, et cetera. We, right? More, further. How do we have more success? More wins.

• 1:42:33Jay Shetty?

  Question number four, what's something you used to value that you don't value anymore?

• 1:42:37Speaker 01

  The world of approval that you can't control.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  I can't control what the world thinks or what people thinks. And I thought that I could. I thought that I could do everything to show you that I'm a good guy, a nice guy, trying to do that because that's naturally what you are, who you are. And you want people to know that. But you can't control that.

• 1:42:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you can't.

• 1:42:58Speaker 01

  You can't control it. So one thing that I do not need is the idea or understanding that everybody loves you.

• 1:43:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:06Speaker 01

  Right? I don't, I don't need that. And, and once upon a time, I thought that I did. There was a fear of, people don't like me, why? What'd I do? I didn't do it. And that's not, that's not the case anymore.

• 1:43:19Jay Shetty?

  That's incredible. All right. Fifth, the final question. We ask this to every guest. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:43:28Speaker 01

  Practice what you preach.

• 1:43:30Jay Shetty?

  That's a great law.

• 1:43:31Speaker 01

  Very simple.

• 1:43:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:32Speaker 01

  Practice be a definition of what you preach. Right?

• 1:43:37Jay Shetty?

  That's a great.

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  It's easy, it's easy to have words. It's easy to say, it's harder to do.

• 1:43:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:44Speaker 01

  I would love to, to see a world of more doers than sayers.

• 1:43:49Jay Shetty?

  Everyone, Kevin Hart, I know you already watched the movies, already watched the specials. Keep doing that, but please do not miss out on what's going on inside the mind of, of this human and don't miss out on everything else that's happening around building this mindset of we. I want you to show Kevin a lot of love from our on purpose community. Please tag us on whatever social media platform you use, sharing the greatest moments, insights, nuggets of wisdom from Kevin. There were so many great gems that he dropped today. I want to make sure that you screenshot the episode, share it everywhere that you share, and make sure that we see that because I love seeing the ideas that resonate with you, that stick with you, but most importantly, the ones you apply, the ones you practice,

• 1:44:31Jay Shetty?

  the ones you put into your own reality and start seeing changes in your life. Kevin, thank you for being such a generous guest. Such a present guest. I've felt every question I've asked you. I've felt your presence. I've felt your energy and you've just brought it tonight, man. And I'm so grateful to you. And that was so special and beautiful. I hope you'll come back.

• 1:44:50Speaker 01

  Hey, man, I want to say thank you. And you've created such an amazing environment of comfort to your community. And you just speaking to your community the way that you do, you've built something amazing. And you know, when I'm talking about being in a space of trying to motivate, inspire, or push however I can, you know, you do it now on a daily. People come here and they're leaving with a sense of feel good. So, congrats again, man. But I hope you truly understand like the real work that you're doing and that you've done. And the guests that you get here, they're coming here for a reason because we too are listening to you. And we're, we're taking away anecdotes, like your mindset, your perspective.

• 1:45:34Speaker 01

  As a man watching you, as a husband with your kids, like you, as we pull from that, right? You find energy and motivation to seeing people do it correctly. So, please continue to be the example that you are and, and, and put your life on display at the level you do, man. The right people are watching and I hope that you continue to get the responses that you're doing.

• 1:45:56Jay Shetty?

  Well, I'm gonna keep coming to you when I need help too. So, just, just know that. But I appreciate it coming from you, man. Very empowering, honestly. Very empowering.

• 1:46:04Speaker 01

  I mean it. I mean it with a word, man.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  It arrives in a cloud of feathers with a cry to wake the dead. Espolón Tequila. Balanced, delicious, perfect for nights out, nights in, and people who like to drink tequila. Just add ice, lime, and your mouth. Then hold on tight. 100% agave, 0% eagle. Espolón Tequila. For a real margarita, ride the rooster.

• 1:47:08Speaker 04

  Espolón Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Campari America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly.

• 1:47:17Speaker 05

  Every mile matters. Whether you're driving your dream car or your daily commuter, the Mobile One team knows that. It's why we created Mobile One Advanced Clean Motor Oil. It cleans your engine in one oil change and helps extend engine life, delivering performance, protection, and cleanliness for vehicles of all ages. All to help keep your engine running like new. Whatever you're driving. Visit mobileone.com/advancedclean to learn more.