Ep 601 - Gen Z White Boy (feat. Devan Costa & Conner McNutt)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Devan and McNutty @ https://www.patreon.com/HateWatchPodcast Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Good morning everybody. Hope you're all having a nice week so far. We got a hot cast for you guys. Devan Costa and Conner McNutty from HATEWATCH podcast step up to the podes. Great broz. Support them. Please enjoy. God Bless. ps maybe a special treat on the paytch soon and an extra ep for you this week :) Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/secret Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  All right, start it now. All right.

• 0:03Speaker 02

  Start now, all right.

• 0:03Speaker 01

  Hey, we're here.

• 0:04Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  What the hell is going on? Conner McNutt, Devin Costa, we just had some secret talk that we, you know.

• 0:09Speaker 03

  Some secret talk.

• 0:10Speaker 02

  Top secret talk.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  It's gonna look bad now, because then the thing we're talking about, okay, we didn't have that kind of secret talk, because we're about to talk about the Baftas.

• 0:17Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  It wasn't, it wasn't, like, look, I can assure you, it was not that, that was not that secret talk, but.

• 0:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  The, uh.

• 0:24Speaker 03

  The guy with Tourette's, yeah. I mean, I, I.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Of course, of course.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Weird, because we technically did have.

• 0:28Speaker 03

  We were talking, yeah.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  We also started three times in a row, right now, which makes things awkward, but.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 0:36Speaker 03

  The Baftas thing was weird.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Everything's on the up and up, you can be assured of that, which camera, you can be assured of that, um, guys, thanks for coming.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  Dude, thanks for having us.

• 0:44Speaker 03

  Of course, we know we're a pretty big get, so.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Hey, you guys.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  You're lucky we're here.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  I, I'll take it. I, I am genuinely lucky you're here.

• 0:51Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  I'm fucking pumped you guys are here.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  Me too, man.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  God dang, so, with all the formalities out of the way, we're talking Baftas.

• 0:59Speaker 03

  Baftas.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  We're talking Baftas.

• 1:01Speaker 03

  It was a crazy situation, because I thought, I thought Sinners was overrated, but I think that guy went too far.

• 1:09Speaker 03

  And then I had to check out the Tourette's guy's movie, have you seen it, Twelve Years a Slave?

• 1:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  That's the movie, that's the Tourette's movie, it's a crazy fucking movie.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  It's called I Swear.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:19Speaker 02

  I swear.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  I swear.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  What did he, was he the director, writer?

• 1:22Speaker 03

  No, no, he's just, it's based on him, and an actor, really good actor, plays him in it, and it's very good. I watched it, like, right after the, uh, the N word dropped.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Guy was, that's a crazy marketing.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  It was, that's, I was, I, I felt like it was intentional, yeah, because I immediately watched the movie.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Also, they apparently, like, missed the Oscar, like, cutoffs by, like, a week or two, so this movie's gonna be in circulation for, like, the next year.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Like, it'll probably get nominated next year for the Oscars, so, like, we'll hear about the Tourette's guy for the next year.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Unless he gets killed by a black woman.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Why was he at the Baftas, though? Tourette's guy.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  He's a British guy, he's actually kind of famous in, uh, England.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Okay, but he's, he's a white boy.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  He's a white boy, yeah.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  He's a crazy, he's a crazy white boy.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  He's a very crazy white boy, why was his movie?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  He's never said it to Idris Elba, which is interesting.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  I don't know dude like he just Michael B Jordan is jacked.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Say to anybody whether they're weak or strong.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  Said it's a Delroy Lindo too who like is like an older black dude and probably really heard it directed at him.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Okay, so this this has been the this has been kind of the uh well, first of all, I'm curious. Why was his movie being nominated or he's just an actor?

• 2:27Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, the actor that played him won.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Plays him won.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  But was he played by a black man?

• 2:32Speaker 03

  No, no, no, what are you talking about?

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Is Baptist for black?

• 2:38Speaker 03

  No, it's British, British. No, no, it wasn't the fucking NAACP awards.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  You think there's a segregated award show for black people?

• 2:47Speaker 01

  There's the BET Awards.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Right, no, Baptist not that.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  I thought it was like the BET, British BET.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  No, no. It was like badass film awards.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Black actors film.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  That's very funny.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  I the whole time I was like, dude, he did it at the.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  It's British.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  I thought he did it at the British BET Awards.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  No, he did it at the British.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Like the British actors.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  It's a guy who's like actually like he's like a crown jewel of London, like everyone loves this guy. There's like a documentary series about the guy.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  And then they made a movie out of it. So like he's like, I mean, he called like the queen a cunt to her face.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  Did he really?

• 3:20Speaker 03

  His his his, one of his best friends died and when the cops came, he goes like, I killed him, I killed him. You say the thing that's never.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Thanks for clearing up the fact this wasn't the British BET. I the whole time is going.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  The British BET Awards.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  I love that you thought that.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  I thought that the entire time.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  That's beautiful, actually. You got a beautiful mind, dude.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  You're like, how cool of London. They have a black award show. Good for them, dude. That's so funny.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Embarrassing. So, okay, here and this is the question now where it's like, cause I I've read a lot of the comments on it. You do have a lot of like black ladies and even black guys being like, that shit was in him.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  He knows what he said.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  He knows what he did. Well, there was two things.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  It is in him.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  They should have edited. Cause apparently they did edit out Epstein stuff, but they didn't edit out the N word.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  They also edited out Free Palestine.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry, that's what it was.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  And he was calling the host of the show like a homo the entire time and they edited that out too.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:19Speaker 03

  Not, he didn't say homo, he's, you know.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously, yeah. Yeah, he's got the disease.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  I also have.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  You gotta do it.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  I also have Tourette's when I see.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  It makes you feel better.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Also, if he had, if his Tourette's made him go homo, that would have been like.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  People like, you know what you're saying.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  That's in you.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's funny the, the, like, the inflection is, like, so harsh. What if he had, like, Tourette's that was, like, sing song, you know?

• 4:39Speaker 01

  True.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  You're gay.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  That could be, yeah, maybe that's potential therapy.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Broadway Tourette's.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  That could be a potential therapy of getting him to kind of like, yeah, sing it out. But that's, yeah, I mean, I personally don't think the man, that was like some sort of, you know, showing of like innate evil. And it's also like, the question is, is like, what person, it was like, does that mean the word is there or the sentiment to use it?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  It's just that you've, you've heard before that that's the worst thing to call a black person. So then you say that, that's literally like the disability.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  You say the worst thing you could say to somebody. It goes to the taboo and you can't help it and it like helps you like live. You, you feel like, I've been watching all these like Tourette's people talk about it and yeah, it, it, it, it's like you can't, it's a, you feel like you're going to explode unless you don't.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Get it out. And then they also, you know, just go like, you know, they like bark and shit like.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  They're fucking animals, man.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're.

• 5:39Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this. I like this. I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mixes great, doesn't taste like a fistfight. Packaged travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out.

• 6:21Matt McCusker?

  So hurry up and go to drink AG1.com slash secret pod and for a limited time only get a free immune support bundle, including omega three, fish oil and vitamin D three plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 next gen or AG1 pro. That's drink AG1.com slash secret pod.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  The guy was podcasting at the bathroom.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I think honestly, I think Tourette's are now the most, I thought for a while I was like, it's definitely straight white men, most dangerous people in America or the world.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Tourette's have replaced.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Tourette's dude.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  It's caused. I mean, you have like Eric Cartman disease. I don't know what to tell you. It's, it's pretty, it's pretty brutal.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Terrorists. They're literally terrorists. And if you have Tourette's, you're an evil terrorist.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  He didn't apologize technically too. And black people on Twitter at least are very upset by that.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  What was his apology?

• 7:08Speaker 02

  It was just like. Explaining the disease.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. Explaining it. Cause in the movie, there's an entire scene where the lady that takes him in is like, you don't need to keep apologizing for something you can't help.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  A black lady?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. It was, Will Goldberg played his mom in the movie.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  It was Monique in the movie, actually.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  In the movie, and the guy, there was an actor who played him. It was like, yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Who probably had the time of his fucking life.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Imagine getting that role.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  Just saying it all over.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Where they're like, hey, man, you're gonna get paid like a hundred thousand dollars. You guys see the N word a bunch. You're like, oh no.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. You gotta yell it out.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck. That's terrible.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  He doesn't yell the N word in the movie.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Probably not.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  But now, okay, here's another thing, Matt. There's a scene in the movie where he's like painting his new flat, like his apartment with his friend. And it's like green paint, but it looks dark green. And he's like, puts it on his face as a tic. And then he like, puts it on his friend's face and they start doing it. And that clip has surfaced on Twitter. And black people are like, so there's a blackface scene in this movie too?

• 8:04Speaker 01

  But it's, oh, it's a dark.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  It's like a dark green and it has nothing to do with race. He's just being like wacky

• 8:11Speaker 03

  and painting his friend's face. And they're like, oh, you know, but now that's like an evil.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Like this is a fought out thing and the movie is this like secret racist.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  There is like a weird like cognitive dissonance with like, I don't know, black people on Twitter where it's like, they would like go to like a kid's birthday party and a guy that gets painted like a giraffe.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  You doing blackface?

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  What's going on here?

• 8:32Speaker 01

  No, it's, well, it came, the problem is though, if you're somebody who's like, you know, really prides yourself on being like socially aware and empathetic, you came to a very nasty crossroads. We're like, whose side am I on?

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Black people or the disabled?

• 8:46Speaker 03

  It's tough. Cause also he. He, there was apparently like a mic in, like he just said, like, why was there a big mic in front of me? The BAFTAs wanted this to happen.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  That was actually not a good, so they had it, they had the guy who was just all night.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  People think he did.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Boom mic on him.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  The entire time.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  No, there's this idea that he was front and center, you know, like wearing like with a swastika tattoo on his head, just like screaming the worst things of all time. You know, he was like 40 rows back apparently, and but somehow like kind of mic'd. And they cut everything else but this part.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  That's weird.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Wait, they caught, they caught, they missed every, oh, they.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  They cut, somebody on stage said, Free Palestine, they cut that.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Maybe they were kind of, there was a couple of guys where they were like, well, he was, you were saying he was yelling like gay stuff too, the whole time.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  To the, yeah, the host, Alan Cummings, kept like, like saying like, just so everyone knows, there's a, there's a guy here that.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  And he'd be like, shut up.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  Can't stop saying it.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  By the way, by the way, imagine being gay and your last name is Cummings. That's so funny, dude. That's incredible.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  That is really sad.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  And that's, that's driving the Tourette's guy crazy. That just, he's a fucking brilliant man.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's, he's my favorite.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  For sure. No, but it's also just created a war because he's like a very, like, people really, he's an earnest figure in England. People really, really love him.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  And they liked that he said fuck the queen or told, called the queen.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's because, because it's so.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Well, they forgive it.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  They forgive it. The queen forgave it, you know, like, like it's.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  She has bigger fish to fry right now. One of her sons is running wild.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  She's also dead, man.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  God damn it, I don't know anything.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Queen is dead.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Who's, who the fuck's running England right now? I wonder if they're having guys scream out in the awards.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  The Tourette's people are running.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Son's a damn pedophile.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Award show, they're yelling out insults.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  They're just, I don't know.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  That guy fucking knew it. I fucked that guy. That guy.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  He knew what he was doing, actually.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  That is the core of that man's entire.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  No, he's a sick man. He's a sick man.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  He's a sick man.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  His life should be ruined more than it has been his entire.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  So you're on the same page as Jamie Foxx.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Jamie Foxx was like, fuck him, dude. He knew what he said. Meanwhile, Jamie Foxx is like telling Leonardo DiCaprio, just fucking say it all you want, dude. Django, it's your actor.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  He's got the Edward pass.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  It's such a weird flex to be like. Like, yeah, motherf- if like, um, I'm trying to think. I feel like if a guy with like Down syndrome tripped me on accident, and I turned around, I was like, motherfucker, you know what you did.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  I know.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  You fucking know what you did.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  It's like when an evil, like reptilian, uh, like, like grandmother of yours, or like, I guess like even somebody's mom, they start kind of like, oh, they have, they have, uh, they're forgetful now, but they say like evil things in between the forgetfulness. And you're like, I know what you're fucking do- like fucking Livia Soprano or something.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Where you just like, I can't tell, like, people have said you have a, you know, a problem now, so I, but, but I still kind of think you're fucking with me.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  It's also, it, it just is so unbelievable if he has like a track record of like, oh, we kind of love this guy. And then he just gets the BAFTAs and he goes, finally. My evil dark philosophy.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  The long con, it paid off.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  I've been faking Tourette's for years.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  He thought he was at the BET Awards, like you.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  This is insane. It's such an insane thing to not immediately be like, yeah, okay, that guy. But I think what happened is it, it fell too neatly with, uh, who was the other fart lady?

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, fart N-word lady.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  Fart N-word?

• 12:12Speaker 03

  She was like, yeah, hitting it.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  That was, I think that was like a, a stun grenade for black people where they're kind of like, wait, what the fuck was that?

• 12:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like, stop being so silly about it. We don't know how to get angry about this.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  No, it was, yeah, it was, uh, it was just kind of like, cause that was clearly, you know, a slip up. Although my brother was like, there's no, my brother is completely against HETV ladies. Like, there's no way that was a slip up.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Oh, no, dude, I think that's the thing she says all the time.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Yes, definitely.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  She stubs her toe, it's just fart N-word. Like, it's, that's just in her repertoire.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  She was saying fart knocker is what she usually says, and it just.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  It just, you.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  She must've hit her toe.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  We've all been there.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  I mix it up, you know?

• 12:49Speaker 02

  I confuse knocker and the N-word all the time.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I go, that lady's got great N-words.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Also, here's the thing, it's like, how bad did you hit your toe? Broken toe?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  It's like.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  What I didn't understand about that clip was why did she go like, can we cut that? And some guy was like, no. Absolutely not. I hate you.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  No, someone clearly just took that and released it.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  I think they're like live streaming or something like that. I think they're like Instagram live.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Were they?

• 13:16Speaker 02

  I had to bet because why couldn't you cut that out?

• 13:18Speaker 03

  HGTV getting into live streaming?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  I think someone took the card and was like sick.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Really? You think that?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  We were just talking about these Gen Zers, dude.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  They love that shit, dude.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Nihilists. They're nihilists.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  They're, I, I think they are kind of nihilists.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Or, I don't know, a lot of them are like big time grind heads though, so.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  What's a grind head?

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Like grind, like rise and grind?

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, rise and grind. I'm gonna grind. I'm gonna get to the next level.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, they, and they don't care if they like die young. I mean, you know, they're all fucking doing the micro fracturing on their faces, doing meth and shit.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Well, Austin is also like the, uh, it's like the capital of like the most boring 24 year old of all time. Like all those like, get ready with me. Here's my day as a 24 year old living in Austin. And I'm like, dude, kill yourself. This is the worst life I've ever seen.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  I've talked to my younger cousin about that and he was like, I was like, is this what you and your friends do? And he was like, no, none of us, he's like, none of us do that.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  It is like a mindfuck because I'm trying to figure out like what Gen Z does or who they are. But, because all the biggest people are like streaming all the time.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  But I don't think that's like a fair reflection of like who they are. You mean?

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I'm telling you, I, I think they're completely checked out of like online stuff.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Like, I don't, I don't think that, that, I was just talking about like the rage bait of how like, it's like, if you get mad about something online, I think they view you as like a boomer fucking moron.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  We're like, almost if you get mad at all, it's kind of embarrassing.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  What was the sentiment we just said? If you don't say the N word, you're gay?

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Well, no, because that was what we were talking.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  No, because they, they'll just rip the N, it's like, you know, on the internet. And again, maybe there's a streamers versus other guys, but it does seem like young white dudes can just rip the N word on the internet.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  I mean, clavicular is constantly ripping the N word.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  Clavicular nonstop, Fuentes. And you can't tell me that's not trickling down.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Completely is. It's like an Xbox Live economy. It's just, that's like now the culture. You just say anything.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  So that's what I think, I think it's like, you know, I, I, you know, I didn't, I didn't predict this happening, but I think, I think white people are taking the word back.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  I think they might be the youth.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Why people are like, let's put the power back into it, actually.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  The opposite of Jay-Z.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  But it's gotta be crazy. Cause like, you know, I know black dudes that go into Xbox Live and like, yeah, people yell the N word and blah, blah, blah, whatever. But it's gotta be kind of a mindfuck to see like all these young white kids using it and like, as far as the internet goes, it's cool in the sense that it's working.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, we're being completely honest. The, the N word was gentrified by black people.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. And we're taking it back. All right.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  It's like, but you get your, you gotta be careful. Exactly. You can't say.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm not taking it back.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  I feel gay, like we just said, when I say the N word, like I'm like retelling something. I feel like a teenager's gonna call me like a homo. Like, like some, just pop out of a bush, be like, you're fucking gay.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  That's what I was saying earlier. Like, I think if you're like 22 and you don't say the N word and you're white, you're kinda, it's like kinda gay.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Kinda gay.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. Which is funny. I mean, dude, how crazy is that?

• 16:16Speaker 03

  They just, I mean, well, they're all at home. No one can punch them in their room.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  You know?

• 16:22Speaker 01

  You know what happened? I think it started, there's a lot white, there's a lot of white rappers that started just like ripping it. You know Jin Lee?

• 16:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  He was a Dallas rapper. He's a, he's a giant redheaded man.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  With long curly red hair.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yes, I, I've seen this guy. Yeah. He's good.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  He was ripping the N word. He's in jail now.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Okay. Yeah. I mean, I, I've seen, I've seen him like also like post videos like justifying saying it.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Just, and then like he'll go and he'll fight like black teenagers in the mall. So his, his stance.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Okay. So he's about that life.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Completely.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  He really hates them.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  No, he loves them.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Totally. Yeah. Going to the ball to fight black teenagers.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  I think he just roasts the ones he loves.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  But no, he'll have people like, if you have a problem, come fight me.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Then he'll end up just being in like, you know, near a smoothie.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Bro, he's fat as shit too.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Fucking, and he's like six foot three. He's huge.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Ugly as hell.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Hey, man, I think he lives in Dallas. He can get me.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Come fight me, dude. Let's go to the mall. Let's do it.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  I love, I love you. I love this guy.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  He's in jail. He's gonna get out of jail. He's gonna fight me. He might not. He might just be a crazy ass white boy.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  He probably is, dude. But he's good. He sounds like Big X the Plug, right? Kind of similar to that.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, kind of. Fat, I guess. I don't know.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  He just sounds fat.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I've never heard him. I never heard Big X the Plug. I'm like, he's probably fat.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Oh, you'd love it.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Is Big X the Plug white too?

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Nah, he's black.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Nah, but there's that. I think that's, you know, the internet is like, cause like you're, you're right. You can safely say it onto the internet and like, you know, if you live around all white people, it's like no one's gonna beat you up really for it. Maybe like, you know, your lesbian cousin.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  They're also saying it with the A, right?

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  So yeah, there's like, people have a think, it's not the same at all to them.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  True.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  You know, like, like, like when Nick Fuentes says it, it's, it's, it's in a way of like, I, I think he'd have a bigger problem if he was saying with the hard R.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Like every time.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  I think so. I, I, he also claims that Kanye gave him.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  The pass. And yeah, he's a sane individual.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Which?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. Imagine, imagine that's your justification.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  Like, no, the most crazy man of all time said I can say it, so.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  He's getting his shit together though.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Kanye.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's getting his shit together. Yeah. It takes a big man to apologize to all the world's Jews.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  It does. It does.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Have you done that before?

• 18:28Speaker 03

  I've, no, I've never been in that position before.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  Matt, I do it every single morning. Wake up and I apologize to all the world's Jews.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Get on Twitter, sorry Jews.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  That would be nice. Just hitting him with just like inspo content every like, what's good morning Jews, let's get it.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  But like pause, really positive stuff, like good morning Jews.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  That's like, that's like the real life equivalent, like putting more shields in your chest and like Call of Duty. You see that every morning, you're like, all right, I'm good. I'm fucking safe again.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Ah, that poor guy.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Let's get it, J gang. Let's call it J gang.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  J gang.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. I always find it impressive when someone can, hmm, let me talk about a skill I find impressive or a profession I appreciate. For example, Olympic athletes and their dedication to training, people can touch their nose with their tongues or someone who can speak multiple languages. Well, those are good prompts, but I just love a good accountant. Guys, one skill I found tremendously helpful in my life recently is, hmm. Let's say accounting, that's my new passion. I've been doing all of my own accounting lately and I really like it and it's helped me gain a better sense of what all of my accountants have done and I love it and guys should all develop this skill. It's very important.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Having a certain set of skills is important, like I said, especially when it comes to hiring. And one of the best ways to make sure you're finding the right people with the skillset you're looking for is to use a ZipRecruiter. Try it free for yourself at ziprecruiter.com/secret. Along with a powerful matching technology, ZipRecruiter lets you use screening questions on your job listing to help you find qualified candidates fast. So you can make sure you're talking to exactly the kind of talent you need. It's one of the many reasons ZipRecruiter continues to be ranked the number, oh, well, it just says the number hiring site. I'm gonna say number one. They didn't give me the number, the number blank hiring site. Guys, I'm saying

• 20:25Speaker 01

  number one based on G2. I'm gonna make that leap of faith for ZipRecruiter. Number one hiring site based on G2, of course. Let ZipRecruiter help you find amazing candidates with the skills you seek. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/secret. That's ziprecruiter.com/secret. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  I hope Kanye comes back. I don't know, man.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  He is, he's coming back. Bully's coming out, apparently.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  You ever listen to Bully?

• 20:56Speaker 03

  That's what they say. Yeah, I love Bully.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Bully was the album he put out that had like some AI songs on it, but he put it out at the time when he was going completely insane.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  See, I didn't know what was real.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Right, right. Some of the songs are like kind of fake, but man, it's just, he's just, and the funniest thing is that it's a really calm, like, thought, like, it's very, like, nothing's crazy on the album. It's really lovely and nice.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  It's beautiful.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  And then you look at his, you know, he's online saying like, "Kill them all." And you're like, "This is so nice to listen to. This is insane."

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, just sucking your cousin off.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  There's this musician I like, who, John Martin, he was like this guy, like a British folk singer from the 70s. And he would like, he was, you know, one of the first people who was doing the looper pedal. So he would do these like beautiful ambient soundscapes. And then I learned he'd have been like beating his wife the whole time.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  That's sad, I know.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  So he would like have a vicious altercation with his wife. Beat her and then go like out in like the other room and just rip like a beautiful.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz it it helps you possess.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  So yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  You know, the, the, the, yeah, like the hating yourself for doing bad things like helps the artist in some unfortunate way.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Maybe hating your wife is the key to success.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Hating or hitting?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Hating. Well, both. I think, yeah, I think it'll come down to both for sure.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  John Lennon used to fucking like beat, beat women.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  He wrote a song about it. It wasn't jealous guy all about.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Women are the N word of the world.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was him trying to help them weirdly.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  That's dude. He hated his wife so much. He goes, you're the N word of the world.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go hit my wife and go, I'm trying to buy a house. That's what I'm doing.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Lyrics to that. Oh, wait, he was actually being mean. I thought he was trying to be the ultimate emancipator.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  What a dick.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, that was a, that was a wild move he pulled.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  I, I think women were like, yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? I have a hard time believing they wouldn't be like, well.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  No, I think they loved that.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, women have been fighting for, there's been that oppression Olympics for a while.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  It is funny that they have been in terms of like num- sheer numbers, they've been completely shitted on for the longest. Like if you go back into like history, when you used to be able to fucking.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Rassle them and shit.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  And then all they get is like Hillary Clinton.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it sucks, dude.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  She just gets destroyed.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Really sucks.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  It's tragic. Kamala Harris.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  They need like their own Farrakhan.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  But that's cool. When women get like too feminist, that for some reason they lose their cool.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Unfortunately.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  But they do that and we go, eh, shut up.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Like they tried a billion times.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  They have tried a billion. You know what? This is embarrassing of me to admit, but I recently, I don't know why I got this idea where I was like, dude, I think women in like, you know, heavily Muslim controlled areas are genuinely happier than women in the West. Uh, like Sharia law and stuff. Looked it up. Not the case.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Not at all.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  I was like with Grok, like, yeah, but like, what about? He's like, not even dude, they're not, they're so sad.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  I love that like ignorant take.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  That is funny.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  You meet a, like a person from like a different culture. You're like, oh, it must be peaceful. And then you're like, are you Google? You're like, oh, they hate gay people. It's actually illegal to be gay. They'll kill you.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  I was like, maybe they're like, you know, it's like as much as it sucks not being able to drive or leave your house and having to do all the.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Or have a clit.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Muslim women are like, the clit is like the appendix. It's not really necessary.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  It was a shameful thought, but I was like, maybe there's a certain freedom in that that women actually. And then I looked it up. It's like, no, depress. And it's also like the reporting of depression is probably so low too. And it's still.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Right. Are they even allowed to get into that?

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Well, that and that's why they ask them more like, you know, like they, instead of being like, are you depressed? Cause they probably like, no. So it's like, well, how did you ever feel like tired for days at a time? And they're like, yeah. And they're like, do you ever like, think about just like sleeping forever? And then they hit him with all those questions. And when they collected a lot of data, it was like.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Just coded killing yourself, you know?

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. But then I was like, are Muslim men happier? And I don't think so. I don't think so either. The Middle East.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Loud and angry.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  I think if you're like religious, you're just never happy. Like if you're like fully like, God will hate me if I do anything.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  You can't be happy.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  But imagine if you don't beat off for one day.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  I mean, I kind of lose my mind.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  You'd be happy. I've, I don't know. I lately, lately I've been able to go. When I like do shows, I've, I, every now and again, I'll go to a hotel, sleep there, not beat off and leave in the morning. And I always feel like, feel good.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. I didn't leave a fucking disgusting towel for that lady to get.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  That's why they're doing it. They're being Muslim guys are just considerate. They're like, the women have to clean up our jizz, this.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  You're not jerking straight into the toilet. When I'm at a hotel.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  At the hotel? That's, I do that at home.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Jerk right into the toilet, like just get it out. Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  It's a late night sneak away for sure.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  I know what you mean. Late night sneak away.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  A hotel. I like, I just, whatever, dude.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. You just pay the room.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Not my bed.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Treat hotels like shit. We were just, we just turned everything on at ours.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Dude, that's our favorite thing.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  We go make sure turn the TV on, turn the air conditioning on, fan, get everything going.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Get your fucking money.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Hey YouTube, you stay on. You're my slave. I own you. But yeah, dude, it's just, well, sorry. My bad.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  If you're a Gen Z, you gotta.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  Tourette's.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  I'm at the BAFTAs right now. My bad.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  So, no, did you ever lay in a hotel room and think about how many people have came in the bed that you're in?

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. It's that top cover you gotta worry about, right? That they always tell you about, like.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  That's how I get cozy.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  The one on the top.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  I think about that. I go.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  That's how you fall asleep.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Ooh, it's nice.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, uh, I don't know. I, I, I've always, you know, obviously people are doing stuff in there, but like I, I got hit with the like genuine scale of it. I was like, dude, it's like every time someone hits one of these beds.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  You're coming.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. Me and my ex, we like, she like demanded to like leave a hotel in New York one time because there was just like kind of obvious jizz stains on the, oh, yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna tell a totally different story where she like made you.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  She made me, I jizzed all over her. She got the bed wet. It was all, she's a pimp.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Dude, dude, come on.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  It is funny to be like, there is too much jizz in this bed and you get a different room and you just jizz all over it.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  You get there and be like, there's not enough jizz on this bed, actually.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  You lay down, nothing like crunches or you don't see like a pile of dust just fly out.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  I kind of miss the days when I was like a kid and like nothing came out.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  It was easier. You got the whole feeling. The orgasm happened.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  That was the best, dude.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Nothing came out.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. It was great. I don't know. Every, the only downside of that is my uncle will be like, what the fuck, man? I thought.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Trying to get pregnant over here.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Trying to get bukkake by my nephew. This is unbelievable.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really like, I always let down my uncles.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  My uncle hates it, dude. When he went to molest me and I didn't come.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  I'm joking. I've never been molested, but I went to my, uh, I went to Penn State one time years and years ago. And it was like my uncle was there with his kid. We're all hanging out and we would go to the bar and I got hammered with my uncle. And I always like fuck around with him, but like anytime there'd be like a woman there, I'd be like, yeah, this is my uncle. So like, oh, great. He's, he's like a handsome guy for his age. He always has been. And every time like I would kind of like hype him up and be like, yeah, he, he used to molest.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  What the fuck, man? He was not, I was crushing him.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  He's like, Penn State has no history of molestation.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  It's totally true, but I would just be like, I would just like build him up to a babe and he'd be like, fucking nice. And I would say something terrible and they'd be like, oh, what the fuck?

• 28:21Speaker 02

  I mean, it's kind of the ultimate bit with you, with your boys.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  You're like, yeah, he's a pedophile.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  I have a friend, Joey, that, that if we're in public at like a grocery store and I'm checking out, he goes, just so you know, this guy's a registered sex offender.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Like every time.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  I mean, doing, doing that to your friend, just in a grocery store, be like, he's here to meet a 13 year old boy.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  He levels it up too. He'll go like, he's a convicted pedophile.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  He's a violent pedophile.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Violent pedophile.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  How do you play it off?

• 28:52Speaker 03

  I just go, he's not, I look more like a pedophile, I look guilty.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  No, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. He is. I'm not.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  You can't fight it. You just gotta laugh it off. If I were like, no, and I like kill myself.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Try to hit like Uno reverse, like, you're a pedophile, actually.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  You gotta hit him with you wish, like he wishes.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Dude, you wish I was a pedophile.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  Life would be so.

• 29:14Speaker 03

  You wish.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  In your dreams. Oh, man. That's a fun prank to play. Yeah, he plays a lot of pranks. They're not always fun. Hitting the, if you have the video, the best one is a video, like, you know, you have guys, the cameras, you surround someone in a Walmart and go like, oh, you're here to fuck it. That is, I mean, that someone's gotta do that prank video. That's gotta be so funny.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  They do.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  That's all done.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  It's not even like, they don't even pose it as a prank video. They just get people in trouble. There's like, like, you know, these nihilist Gen Z kids. They just go to like Walmart and they'll just like point at somebody and be like, this guy, and he's not. It's just a random person. Yeah.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  That sucks.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Sucks, dude. I know.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  The pedophile hunting is crazy. Part of me, like, I hate to be that guy. I'm like, you just, you wanna beat up an autistic guy. That's all this is.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Sometimes it is. Sometimes I am like, I'm uncomfortable with how I feel like weirdly a little more empathy for the pedophile than the hunters. I'm like, let's stop pouring Tabasco in his eyes.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  And obviously like, kill that guy, sure, but I don't, I don't wanna see it.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Kill, take him out back.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, do something.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  I mean, you know.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  Well, it's like, you know, if you're, it's hunting, man. You're hunting games. Sometimes you catch a big deer, sometimes you catch a little deer.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Exactly. But when it turns into like an influencer thing, like you're getting views off this, you know?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  It's gone down a little bit, but for a while there was so insane how like Akon and like T-Pain.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  All these guys.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  They started getting like celebs to go on.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Dude, it was like part of the circuit. It was like, you're promoting your album, like you're gonna hunt a pedophile.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Like Ty Dolla Sign is like shaving Epstein's head, pouring Tabasco in his face.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Those are so weird though. It's like, I mean, cause those guys are being hunted for real, right? So it's like, there's a pedophile who's in his head, he's like, dude, I'm about to get some little boy pussy.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  And then Akon shows up, he goes, this is the best day of my life?

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  Holy shit, Akon's gonna serenade me fucking a boy? And then he's like, oh, it's the worst day of my life, actually.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, Akon's here to get me.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  He's like, play Locked Up. Can you sing Locked Up?

• 31:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, he, uh, it sucks when they're clearly, you're like, oh, this person is like, either severely autistic or like,

• 31:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  has something.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  And you're like, oh dude, alright.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  They kind of always are, though, man.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Definitely stop the guy from molesting, like, you gotta stop him, but it's like, I don't know, that should be, you gotta get him back.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  Just kill him.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  Sonic, bro.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just kill him.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  There's a comic I know.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  I mean, why not? Why kill those people?

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Pedophiles?

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, all, for sure. But I'd say, if it was like, if you have severe developmental delays and all that stuff, and then like, you get caught being a pedophile, and people like, beat them up, I'm like, alright dude, definitely.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  It's a disability.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  Blow up the, it's kinda like the Baptist.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  There's gonna be a pedophile at the Baptist next year, dude.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  No, that shit was in you, I know what the fuck is in your soul. It's evil.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  You ever see the pedophile fight back and they're kinda good, they got hands a little bit? There's a couple of videos where like, they beat up the pedophile, and the pedophile's like, fucking square up right now, and they almost lose a fight to the pedophile. I'm like, dude, could you imagine?

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Getting your shit rocked by a pedophile?

• 32:11Speaker 03

  A buff pedophile.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Holy fuck, dude.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  A saloon pedophile?

• 32:17Speaker 01

  Definitely is not his first rodeo.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Rambo first kid.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  It's not his first rodeo, he's trained. He's got, they probably caught him slipping back in the day.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Never again. Has someone for real almost lost to the pedophile in the Walmart?

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, in like, a convenience store, like a liquor store.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  Walmart should have like, a boxing ring for if someone finds a pedophile.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  They should.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  They should absolutely do that.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Like Disney jail or something.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. Should be an old black guy, like, come on, put on the gloves, we're gonna send this like men, and then you get in there and fucking.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  Also, at this point, how dumb do you have to be as a pedophile? It's like, if a kid's asking you to meet at a fucking gas station, it's a trap. Are you not seeing these videos?

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Come on, I mean, your dick's never led you to a strange place.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Never once. Not a gas station. I mean, like, all the videos are at a gas station or Walmart. So if I was a pedophile, I'd be on my Ps and Qs being like, I've seen the videos.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  You mean?

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  I'm not meeting at a Walmart. That's an obvious trap. I'm not asking.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  You know what's funny, though? Now, now that I think about it, it's pretty, you know, like, the bar lets out at 2 a.m. That's kind of like, that's 3 p.m. is the pedophile's 2 a.m.

• 33:20Speaker 00

  True, dude.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? If you're like a teacher pedophile, you're like, fuck, it's almost 3 o'clock. And you're like, so like, what, uh, what do you?

• 33:28Speaker 02

  You guys just going home after this? Sure, why? We can keep the party going if you want.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  You guys want to do robotics class?

• 33:35Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  I like this.

• 33:40Matt McCusker?

  I like that, too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still, just one scoop, once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great. Doesn't taste like a fistfight. Package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which, dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle,

• 34:25Matt McCusker?

  including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 34:35Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by BlueChew. Oh, yeah. Fellas, let me introduce you to BlueChew Gold.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  No, it's not something a rich guy orders at a steakhouse. BlueChew Gold is the newest innovation. This isn't your typical good luck buddy pill. BlueChew Gold combines two ingredients for blood flow. With two for mental arousal and connection. So now your body and your brain are clocking in for the shift.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Because sex is not just be about being able to perform. I totally agree with that. It's about actually wanting to.

• 35:09Matt McCusker?

  Wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse. A million percent, dude. And we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code DRENCHED. You'll also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Oh, yeah.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Well, that's the thing like we're kind of okay with is the women pedophiles. Like, like, there's been like a revolution going on lately where it's like every week, there's a decently attractive teacher that like fucked like a 15, 16.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Has that been happening still?

• 35:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Happened like a week ago, yeah. And she was hot.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  It happens all the time.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, now they're reading too much Darren erotica.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  That's why they're fucking becoming pedophiles.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  That's like big TV, there's like shows about it and it's like hot, the show's hot.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  What was the FX show called, like The Teacher or something like that with a Rooney Mara or whatever?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  There was a new book that just came out about a, it's from like a, fuck, what is it called? I think it's like Jeanette McCurdy. I think she was a.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  She has a book called Half His Age and it's about like a 17 year old seducing her teacher. I read the whole book.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Well, I was gonna have her on.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  I'm on my, I'm on my third reread, actually. I can't get enough of this book.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  I was gonna have her on because I'm like, man, that's kind of wild.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Because you wrote the book, you could have, it was a senior, she could have been 18 and like.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  You know, then you would have been, but it's just like, you know, so I was kind of curious, but I read it and it was a, it was like kind of, I mean, it was like really fucked up. I can spoil if you guys want to hear the ending.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  But it's like, so the story is there's this chick, she's 17, she's like white trash, her mom's kind of like never there. Her mom's always trying to find like the dude that's going to save her.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, so.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  It's already, it's already hot as hell, dude.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  White trash is so hot for some reason. I don't know what it is.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  So, she, you know, and then she has this teacher, the creative writing teacher who like loves her writing and thinks she's like super smart. And then she just becomes as a 17 year old obsessed with like how he's just like, he has like a, you know, a belly, he's a receding hairline. And how she's like, I want to make this guy feel good. And like, I'm going to show this guy how to like, you know, like.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Oh, like a pity, like I want to give him a great moment.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  I just love this guy. I like, I want this guy.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  She's the nicest lady of all time.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  And then, uh, so she just like sees this guy and he gives her like, you know, some positive attention. Like, I like your writing and I just, it somehow just like triggers something in her where she's like, I am going to base, this guy will be mine. And she like seduces him and he carries out an affair with this lady and this girl. And eventually leaves his family for her. And then she just like, they're about to go on a flight together and she's like, this guy sucks and just leaves. That's the whole book.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  That's the ending?

• 38:01Speaker 01

  The whole book.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  After, but they, they have like, there's like a bunch of very gratuitous sex scenes written and it's pretty.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Thank God.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's kinda hot.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  You just described the most bleak book of all time. Thank, thank God, dude.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  But yeah, it was pretty wild. I read it and I was just kinda like, fuck, that's a, it's pretty wild. Like, what do I take from this? She realizes she like, you don't need a man to justify your existence. Right, right. Yeah, I'm not just my femininity. Yeah. And the mom goes to Romantics, uh, yeah, Romana-holics Anonymous. Romanta-holics? Sexaholics, it's Romana-holics. She's just like obsessed with flirting? Pretty much. The fact that there's like a guy that's gonna come save you. There's gonna be Romana-holics, dude. I'm telling you that the, the erotica books aren't even so much about the like sex as it is like the two people finally colliding, like what are the circumstances leading to that? Is it high class, low class?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Well, yeah. Cause if not, it would just be literal porn. So.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  It kind of is like porn comments put in a book.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  But it's, it's more so about like the, um, it's more about the situation around it than like, just kinda like. Right. And then she sucked his dick. It's not that, it's like, they're from two different families. They're not supposed to see each other. He's rich, she's poor.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Romeo and Juliet.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  He sees, yeah, pretty much. He sees something in there. I like touch her and you die.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  That's about a guy, if like someone touches a girl and a guy's like, I'll fucking kill you.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Right, right. So that's what I'm saying. They're getting charged up off of like a homicidal guy.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Do you have that? I don't have that at all. I'm not like protective over my wife in that way.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Like I don't like when she gets hit on, I go, cool.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  I'll get, I'll get a little angry. I was in a casino and a guy was like, he was in a slot machine like this. And when she walked by, he did one of these. And he leaned almost on the floor.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Fell.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Look at her ass. And I, I like, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? I, it'll get me every now and again. He's like, I'm like, no, I'm sorry.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  You can cross the line, but I was at a bar in New York with my wife and I'm sitting at a bar stool and she's in between my legs. And I'm like kissing her neck, you know, full lovey dovey. And this like black dude walks up, he looks like Quavo from like Migos. And he comes, he's like, hey mama, you got a man or what? And I was like, I'm literally holding her.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  I'm kissing her.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  And she, he was like, yeah, this is my husband right behind me. He goes, I bet. And he walked away. And I was like, can you believe that guy? And I was like, that's the coolest guy I've ever seen in my entire life.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  I would have been furious.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  I was like, that's I, the confidence to like, see what the situation was, be like, you got a man?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  That's fucking crazy. That shit fucking, it makes me so angry. Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  I was just shocked. I was like struck by it.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I've almost. That's why I don't put myself in those positions. True. Stay away. Never with a woman.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  That's why I'm an incel, actually.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know. Something about that really chaps my ass. I was, uh. I don't think it's weird. I think it's a normal thing to get angry.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  No, no, I, I think I'm like abnormal.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Something about, uh, men cucking me in public chaps my ass. Something about a man pretending I don't exist and trying to fuck my wife for some reason grinds my gears.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hey, you're really weird, man. That's weird shit.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  You gotta be more like him, dude.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, more like me, dude.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Well, I'll, I'll deal. I mean, maybe I should zen out. I mean, it is, the fact that I'm cortisol spiking like that in public is embarrassing.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Dude, clavicular would be fresh shit. These Foids are getting to you.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  No, I, I, well, the thing is too, is like, you know, my wife's black. So every now and again, like younger black dudes will like try to like.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  What if me and Devin had the worst reaction to that?

• 41:33Speaker 01

  I go, what?

• 41:34Speaker 02

  We go, what?

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Well, they'll test every now and again, they'll test me as like a thing or like to like, you know,

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  And every I'll completely 100% Irish spasm like fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  I got the Irish spasm for sure.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Once it gets going, it's.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  You can't stop it. It's really embarrassing too.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  No, I was like a thing with her like coworkers one time and like some like 20 year old popped off and I like fully was in his face like I'll fucking kill you.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  And she was like, dude, can you please chill? He was like so young.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  He's like, dude, I'm a virgin. Can you please leave me alone?

• 42:12Speaker 01

  I'll fuck you right now. Fucking kill you.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, I have that.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  It's embarrassing. I'm gonna, you know, I like, I'd like to chill, but I can't, I can't.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  You seem so zen. You seem so chill.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  I'm zen'd out, but if I lose it, it's called like it's just a flick of it's.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  I'm kind of the same way.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  I'm pretty, I am pretty chill for the most part. I can kind of chill and be like, all right, what does this actually affect? Is this a big deal?

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  But every now and again, if I'm in the right mood, you push my buttons.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  I gotta get hammered to have the confidence to just scream at somebody and act like I could fight.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  That's, that would be, yeah, that'd be nice. Drinking, I'm either like very friendly, but that is the thing. If I'm drunk enough and like someone, it can be like the littlest thing. I'm like, what the fuck?

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. There's some flip switches.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  It's kind of scary.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  All of a sudden, yeah, I think I'm strong and I can handle anything. Fighting words don't exist. I'll say anything to you. And I'm like, what do you, I'll sue you.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hit me, I'll sue you is always great.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  I've yelled that many times.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Hit me, I'll sue you. So nice.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  I go, go ahead. I'll sue you. You don't know how the legal system works?

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Could you imagine like actually falling through on suing somebody?

• 43:13Speaker 03

  It makes me laugh thinking about taking it that far.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Actually happened to my buddy one time.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Really?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  We were at a bar in Pasadena and he like got like a booth, like he paid for a booth with like bottles and all that stuff. And he kept inviting girls over and they're like, where's our husband?

• 43:27Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  He's like, get over here, Shawty, you know? And then the girls are like, what with our guys? We can't come in. He's like, fuck your guys. And the guys got all pissed and we like, you know, died down the situation. We're like, all right, everyone chill, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Me and my friend went to the bathroom. We came back. He's just getting stomped out the booth by all these guys.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Like absolutely fucked up, like eggs on his fucking. Head.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Did he?

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Getting killed.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Was it high ground?

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like a table, like a secret, like, you know, like a club type table.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  But what I'm saying, was it up higher than like?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it was like elevated a little bit.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  And he couldn't defend the position.

• 43:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. He had the high, and he had the high ground. This is crazy. Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  But I mean, you have not.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  He was by himself.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Literally siege warfare.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  We thought, we, we thought we like, you know, killed the situation. It's all good. We come back from bathroom. He's just getting fucking stomped out completely. Bleeding everywhere, bruises all over the place. He woke up the next morning, he sued the bar for like lack of security.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Huge settlement.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  That's a thing.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Did he really?

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Bro, I think he got like a hundred and fifty thousand dollars from this bar.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 44:21Speaker 03

  Lawsuits rule.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, isn't that crazy?

• 44:23Speaker 03

  I sued Postmates back in the day.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  For what?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  I just, they, they banned me for stealing food. So I post, I've sued them and I won like twenty four thousand dollars.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  What?

• 44:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was kind of crazy. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but like, yeah, they'd like the app banned me and then I, I, you know, you get like those mesotheli, you just sign like an email, like, sure, I'm a part of a class action thing. And one day I just kept getting calls from some law office in Chicago and I'd be like, what is this? I kept ignoring it. And then finally they got ahold of me. And they were like, we think you could go to arbitration and this. And I was like, oh, this is like a real thing. Why am I, I guess I signed something that most people don't.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  So I put myself in a situation where I'm like, yeah, sure. I'll actually like be a part of this.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Why did you get fired again?

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Oh, you, uh, I, uh.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  You're stealing food.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  Get an order and then cancel the order and then eat a meal. I had like, I, you know.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  They had a genuine reason to fuck.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's, no one's working for them. So I'm like, fuck, what my phone's gonna like?

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Were you delivering for them or ordering?

• 45:24Speaker 03

  Yes, yes. Yeah, I did Uber. I would do them all at the same time and like.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  And you would, they would have an order and you would just be like, actually, I'm not going to take this.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, sometimes, I mean, technically Postmates, I didn't steal the food that often. Uber eats all the time. Uber eats constantly. I'd call. I, I figured out that they didn't track your like car or your, or who you were. And it's just some like sad lady in like the Philippines picking up the phone. So I would, at the end of a night, at the end of, at the end of a long day of delivering food. Cause you get, if you cancel the order, you also get paid for the mileage too.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Like, like, whoa, we're sorry.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Oh, you get to the restaurant and you go like, ah.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  I can't do it. And they're like, oh, it's okay. Your car is broken. Fine. Just try to get back out there. But I so so at the end of every delivery shift, I would like work. You make like 60 bucks at working like nine hours. It's terrible. No one tips. Just delivering to like celebrities and.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  I tip. I always tip my Uber driver.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Thank you. Thank you. It's appreciated.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Did you ever deliver food? I was a pizza guy for a while. Yeah. So you have the empathy. I have the empathy. I tip the fuck out of them. Yeah. It's crazy. Why wouldn't you?

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Same.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  They're risking their lives to bring you the food. And you see the service charge. I think the service charge gets people being like, fuck them. As a pizza guy, it was the same thing. It'd be like, there was a delivery fee that the restaurant would take.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  And I would get my, my, uh, tip.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  So like, it was like my version of like giving myself a little nice end to like a long day.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  So I would pick up, I'd wait for a huge order, like a gigantic, I'd like feed my friends. And so I'd go pick it up and then I'd get in my car, drive a little bit away from the restaurant. Then I'd call and be like, my car broke down. It was kind of fun. I got to like pretend like to act and stuff too. I'd be like, I don't know. It's my car, you know, the engine, it's smoking. It's, yeah, I'm, I'm dead.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  And they go, oh, it's okay. Just try to get back out there. And then they'd cancel it. I'd get paid for like, you know, an 11 mile drive. And then I'd get to keep all the food. I did this like, I'm not kidding, once a night for like seven months straight. And I, I felt bad initially, the first time I ever did it. And then I found out that like the restaurant, they still get paid, like it's, it comes out of the like Uber.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  Like, it's not like, like the people have to remake it, but they didn't like, they don't lose their money or whatever.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Dude eventually gets his meal, just a little later and he'll be fine.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  And then, yeah, that's kind of sweet, actually.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, I mean, I, I, I'm not like super proud of it, but.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Sorry to interrupt the podcast, guys, but this episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Shoot your shot on PrizePix and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's right. PrizePix is now giving you $50 in lineups when you sign up and play your first $5. PrizePix makes every dunk, every dime and every board that much more exciting. So don't miss this chance to get started on America's number one app for sports picks. Hmm. It's got me thinking about discussing specific players that I've seen play really well with my audience right now. And if I had to guess, or think of one guy who I think's really got it in terms of basketball.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  I don't know if you guys ever heard of this guy. His name's LeBron James. I think he has been, he's just been spectacular out there. I'm really admiring what he's doing. And if I, you know, if I was on PrizePix, if I was on the number one app for sports picks, I might say, hmm, maybe I can win big on this LeBron feller. PrizePix is simple to play. Just pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in. Pick from all your favorite sports, anything from basketball, baseball, hockey, UFC, soccer, college basketball, tennis, golf, esports, and more, if you can believe that. Get in on the action. PrizePix is now available on, in all 50 states, including California, Texas, Florida, and Georgia.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Download the PrizePix app today and use code DRENCHED to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCHED to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, it's good to be right. Hey, real quick while I have you guys, I have some shows coming up and, well, we have some good news and bad news. The good, well, depends on, for me, the good news is I'll be in Cleveland and Pittsburgh this weekend, March 6th, Cleveland, March 7th, Pittsburgh. And I'm not fronting, I think both shows are going to sell out. So if you want to come, here's your CTA, your call to action. If you want to come to those shows in Clitz, or if you want to come to those shows, I almost called it Clitzburg, that's crazy.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Uh, Cleveland, Ohio, or Pittsburgh. Forty and slip. Um, yeah, just come, you can get my tickets. I think there's a link in this video to get them. Pretty sick. And, um, also after that, I'll be in St. Louis, Missouri, Indianapolis, St. Paul, Missouri, I guess that's M.O., Missouri, Des Moines, Iowa, Phoenix, here's the big one, guys. All of them are selling pretty well. God damn that Phoenix Celebrity Theater is, it's not till

• 50:18Speaker 01

  April 17th, so we have some time, but that show's in the round and I actually enjoy performing in the round. So if you want to see my butt for like good 10 second stretches while I do my thing and, you know, I'll turn around, I'll show you my bulge at the Celebrity Theater as well. It'll be butt and bulge all night at the Celebrity Theater. Just an angry little micro bulge. I'll wear some joggers that night so everyone gets their money's worth. They can all go, ha, ha, ha. Look at that. It's barely sticking out. Guys, I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. Toronto's a big one. Two shows, again, not bragging, Nature of the Beast. Two shows, both have sold out in Toronto. I'm thinking about adding a third, so.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Canadians, I know I've said a lot of bad things about your country. I was just fucking kidding around. I love you guys. You guys love me more than all these bastards in fucking Phoenix, Arizona, apparently. So come on out to the shows and then Chicago, of course, I'll be at the Riviera Theater. Uh, probably gonna add a second show there, hopefully, because that, that thing done sold out. May 26th, so whatever. Hopefully that makes sense to you guys. Go to mattmccusker.com. And, uh, yeah, come to a show, man. We're having a good time. Also, I'll be doing Algonauts in Austin, Texas. That's once a month I do that where me and Tim Butterly take people's cell phones, project their algorithm through Instagram, usually on the screen and, you know, try to get a picture of like, who is this person? What are, what are they, what is the algorithm being sent in there? Or what is being sent to them through the algorithm?

• 51:41Speaker 01

  What does that say about them? What doesn't it say about them? Because you can't just judge someone on their algorithm, or maybe you can, I don't know. Come out to that. That's at the Creek and Cave. Uh, so if you go to Creek and Cave ATX, you can get that. And last, and I don't remember the saying, last and

• 51:59Speaker 01

  cool enough, guys, I'm tired. Last and most importantly, um, noble bomb. I'll be in Philadelphia, March 16th. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm just visiting family, figured I'd strut my stuff. On the old flagship stage that is Helium Philadelphia, I'm gonna get some of my friends and we're all gonna try newish materials, stuff we're working on. It'll be fun. Come out. It'll be St. Patty's Day weekend. You can get drunk if that's what you feel you must do. And if you're trying really hard not to be drunk, well, try to hold out. Come to the show, be sober. You know, be fun. Learn how to be fun while sober, or get fucking hammered on St. Patty's Day.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  It's really up to you. All these, I'm weighing out choices. That's all I'm doing. I'm, I'm not trying to coerce you. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just giving you choices. Do whatever you want. Love you guys. Back to the show.

• 52:52Speaker 05

  Pardon the interruption, pardon the interruption. This is Shawn Gardini. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club, March 27th and 28th with Nate Marshall. So please come see that show if you'd like. And I'll be at The Comet in Cincinnati, not Comet Ping Pong, just The Comet in Cincinnati on May 22nd and 23rd. So please come to those. That was a little joke there, but I'd like, I'd really like to see you guys at the show. So please come if you can. Tickets are at ShawnGardini.com. And we also have Optimum Noctis at The Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas. Me, Nate Marshall,

• 53:35Speaker 05

  and LaMara Lee every first and third Tuesday of the month. So thank you very much for your time. Pardon the interruption. Enjoy the rest of the show.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  No, I, I, I work for Insomni- do you guys have insomnia cookies?

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I know, not in LA, actually. No. Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  I, I worked for Insomnia Cookies when I was in college. I had this idea that like, I was like, dude, I could totally stay up all night one day a week and be fine. So I was like, I'll work during the day, go to school, and then I'll stay up all night and deliver insomnia cookies and just ride it into like Tuesday. This is how that works. I was like, you don't have to sleep every night.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like the worst version of hustle culture I've ever heard.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  I was like, if I just do one all night or a week, I'll take a nap, I'll be fine.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  And I did Insomnia Cookies and, you know, so I would go in there and I wanted to do my bike. And they're like, we have enough bike delivery people. You have a car? I'm like, yeah, I have a car. So I get this big order, put it in my car. I like pull up to the place, pop my tire on like, Philly has a lot of these like metal lining to the curbs. I don't know why they do it. It's the only way a curb, they'll put like a coping on it. And, and I just popped my tires. One of them was sticking out. It's like, fuck. So I'm like sitting there with a popped tire. I call Insomnia being like, yo, my tire's popped. And they're pretty much like, yeah, just figure it out. I was like, fuck. So I'm like, okay.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  No support.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  No support whatsoever. And you know, it was one of those cars that had like the hubcap key where you needed to get like a certain thing from inside to even take the tire. And it was just like, I was stressed out. All right. It was a very stressful night. And yeah, luckily this old black guy came up and said, what the hell are you doing? And he was like, he saw and he goes, oh, that's a Mercury. I had a soft top Mercury Cougar.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  And it was like old black dude sweating the shit out of the car. So they were like, bro, you need the hubcap. So this old guy came up, he knew exactly what I needed. Pause and like.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  He's walking over you zipping down his pants like, oh, what you doing, man? I know what you need.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  He dude, he completely dad bogged me and he like knew he like, he got the, he like, you need a, you need a security key. He showed me, he took it out and he like, you know, paused again and then he fucking, he fixed the tire. So he fixed the tire. So, you know, my black daddy came and fixed the tire. And then, um, so I go back to insomnia, a bit of a chip on my shoulder now. And they're like, are you ready for more deliveries? And I was like, that's all you guys care about, huh? I hadn't slept, I hadn't slept all night. So now I'm all sensitive. Like, you guys don't even fucking care about me, do you?

• 56:02Speaker 02

  There's nothing worse than like, uh, working at a job and people care about the job. You know, you're higher ups, you know what I mean?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Was that shirtless or was that Hollister?

• 56:12Speaker 02

  They asked me to do shirtless and I said, I can't do it. Cause it's like a hundred bucks a day. I was like, that's not the price.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  That's crazy to be shirtless in a mall.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  That's fucking.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Me and my, I didn't know him in high school. We stopped hanging out with a guy when he got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Really?

• 56:27Speaker 03

  I mean, we're kidding, but we were kind of like, we, we really like.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  I don't mean to brag.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  Brutalized him for doing it.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  I don't mean to brag. I got, I got recruited.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Genuinely, by three different Abercrombies. I'm walking like a community college campus. People are like, do you want a job? And I was like, no, I'm good. And then the third time I was like, all right, I'll take the fucking job.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Really?

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Constantly happening.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  You're like, thank you, Mr. Wexler. I'll be glad.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  But dude, I, I, yeah, I worked there for, I think, three weeks.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Worst job of all time. It's like four hour shifts. It feels like it's 10 hours.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  They pump the perfume through the vents. You're like nauseous, headache.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Retail is the one job I've never worked at.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Anytime.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  Just hearing the same song over and over again, stacking pants.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  People who work retail, I'm like, why are you doing this? Work anywhere else.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's, people get addicted. There's some people I know who just do retail.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Clothing stores. A lot of younger women do it because they can get the discount and they can get their clothes.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  But, yeah, it always seemed like super fucking miserable.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Well, dude, yeah, so I'm working there and like, I also got like class action, like checks from these people all the time because they were just fully illegal, you know? Like, so I like, I get the job. They make me buy an outfit. Like, you have to dress head to toe in Abercrombie. They make you buy it. So I had to spend like a hundred forty dollars on the outfit.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Discount though, isn't it?

• 57:39Speaker 02

  It's not. It was like 20% off.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 57:41Speaker 02

  It's an expensive store and I was like fucking 19, you know?

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's kind of brutal.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  So I remember like I went, the manager was like this like really like, um, gay guy, you know? And I go and I put my shirt on, wear large. I like bag your clothes and he goes, it's not small enough. And I was like, for real? And he goes, yeah, tighter. Put a medium on, he goes, not tight enough.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 58:02Speaker 02

  And I was like, what? This is crazy. You're like, you're raping me right now.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  I go put a small on and dude, my arms like cutting circulation off. He's like, perfect.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's heaven's crazy.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  And then they make me like pose for photos for like the employee catalog. I have no fucking clue what's going on. But I'm truly in a shirt that's like killing me and pants are killing me. And then, uh, I just had such a weird vibe from that that I was like, I can't do this job. And I put my two weeks in. I was like, I'm out of here, you know?

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  And then, um, that manager came up to me.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Fine, you can wear a medium.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  No, for real, for real dude, it's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. He heard that I put my two weeks in. He comes up and he goes, so I heard you're too good for the fitch.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Dude, I went, dude, I quit now and I left. I just left the store. Too good for the fitch. I was like, you're the worst person I've ever met, dude.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  So, heard you're too good for the fitch. This is like a guy who's like a career manager of Abercrombie.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  He's probably the regional.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Dude, he moved from Salt Lake City to Glendale, California to like manage this Abercrombie.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Dude, that is the thing with retail. It sucks, but if you become like a, you know, regional or whatever director, you, you kind of have like a cakewalk the rest of your life. You just get to drive around and check on stores and you get paid like a hundred something grand.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure. I mean, I know people that like make a really good living. Just like they work their way up at like In-N-Out.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  And now they're.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  I knew, I know dude who did it at Target like years ago. He was just like the regional VP or something. He just, he's like, I just drive to stores and I'm like, man, it looks good.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think I've ever had a good job.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Like never once.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Uh, dog walking was sick, but I, I think the boss.

• 59:37Speaker 02

  The money's not good though, right? Yeah, money sucks. I'm sorry. I've never like once had a job where I'm like, I could do this.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:42Speaker 03

  I worked on a weed farm for a while. It was kind of fun.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  That's kind of chill.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  You could just smoke weed and trim and shit like that.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  You know what? I painted with my friend. That was nice. We painted houses.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  That was actually pretty, actually like kind of like that. I got paid, you know, decently. Oh dude, the, I forgot to tell you. So the, uh, I just completely forgot. The, uh, what's it called? What's it called? Insomnia cookies or whatever. So then when I pulled back up and then I could tell they didn't care. I went in like, you, can you take another order? And I was same thing. I was like, I'll take an order. I was like, I'm taking this right home and eating it, but like, yeah, I'll take it. So I take an order and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go get these to my roommates for any cookies. And then I like forgot my jacket and they were like, oh dude, can you take another order? And like a bunch of milks? And they handed me like a fucking massive cookie order with a bunch of milk. And I was just like, definitely taking this all home. So I went home, I just left and I was like, I went back and I was like sitting there eating cookies with my roommates.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  And then I had the phone numbers for the orders on the little slip.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  So I started calling them and being like, you know, I'm outside. Where are you? And they're like, huh? I'll see you. And I'm like, oh, come outside, man. So I had this guy walking around.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Looking for cookies.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  I was like 19 and I called him and I was like, yo, I was like, oh dude, I had to spin the block. There was a bunch of like really shady guys standing outside and he was like, where? I'm like, I don't know, dude. I think it was like a gang outside. You gotta watch out for those guys, man. They're always trying to steal my cookies. And he was like, oh, oh, I was like, just keep coming out. I'm like, wave your, are you wave your arm so I can see you. So the guy who was outside, I had him doing all these like weird like cow stand.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  You're like, I think the Bloods are in Ambler, Pennsylvania.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  It was, it was University of Penn.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Dude, there was these guys out there. I think it was like a gang, bro. What the hell? And he was just like, I don't, I don't see anybody out here. I'm like, I'll be back, man. I gotta spin.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Dude, for my own safety, I'm not making this delivery, dude. Can't do it, dude. I might die.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Then I called the headquarters of insomnia as one of the other deliveries that never got ordered. And I called, I was like, hey, my order never came here. And they were like, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah, like making all these things. And like, as they were like, hey, we'll figure it out. I was like, I probably shouldn't eat them. I'm so fucking fat anyway. And they started being like, oh, come on, man. Don't say that. I'm like, no, I'm a fucking, I'm a fat piece of shit. I just shouldn't even have, I don't.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Probably the weirdest shift that guy's ever had. I mean, like, I think I have to talk to, he's gonna kill himself, I think. I don't know.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  This store finally called me like an hour later, like, are you okay? I was like, man, I'm chilling. And they're like, okay. And they just hung up. Yeah. That was the end of that.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  I used to deliver whippets to a drug addict.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Did you really?

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  In Compton. Yeah. Cause I don't even understand. You can go to a smoke shop and just buy like whippets.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  And there's somehow like, it's like, I guess the, the law like is like, oh no, people also just love whipped cream and stock or something like, I don't know. But yeah, and this guy tipped very well. He would literally answer the door like a Breaking Bad mess head, like in a robe, like, and like grab this big package of like, yeah, whippets I would get him from like a smoke shop for like Uber. It was just, it was like legal.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  Dude, apparently, so apparently if you do whippets all the time like that, your body just stops producing vitamin B12. Like it like fucks you up. That's why people go paralyzed.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Puts holes in your brains too, right? Like your brain has like weird spots maybe from, I don't know.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  The biohacking whip it addict. You gotta supplement with the whip its.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Well, there's a, there was a lady who went like paralyzed. Like she, you're like legs stop working. Cause it's something to do with your body not producing like certain things and like it just shuts it off. Dude, that, did you ever fuck with 70H?

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  No, that is.

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  70H is, uh, it's funny cause I brought it up one time because I just like found out what it was. And I like brought it up on a podcast and never finished talking about it. So people were like, dude, whatever you do, please don't do, it's like 70H is kratom. That's been like processed and refined, almost like, you know, there's like Percocets and then OxyContin. Or it's like the same ingredient, but you just make it super strong. So, uh, 70H is the shit they sell at gas stations. That's like stronger than morphine. But you can just go buy it at a gas station.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  It's insane.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  So like people go there. So you're there, you know, you're at the gas station. You're like, yeah, let me get a, you know, let me get some zins. And those guys, some of the guys would be like, oh man, set, try the 70H. And people are like, what's it like? It's like, it's very chill. There's dudes that start doing it and become literally, they gotta go on like fucking like methadone to get off.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Oh, crazy.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Christ. It's like the smoke shops were selling spice for a while. It was like the fake weed and people were having like seizures and shit.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  I've talked to people who do like a lot of drugs and like meth, heroin. They're like, dude, K2 is fucked up.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Which is, you know, same thing. And it's like, yeah, it's, it's a big jail drug. People do, they would do K2 in jail.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  Is that ketamine?

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  No, it's spice.

• 1:04:20Speaker 02

  Oh, spice. Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Synthetic weed, call it deuce. So it's like crush, you're like, yeah, dude, we're smoking deuce. And like my friend who's done literally every single drug you can imagine is like, bro, fucking K2 is fucked up.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  I mean, I can't smoke weed even like.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  You should try spice once.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  You think I should? I'll lose my fucking mind, dude.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  I knew dudes who could smoke like ounces of weed.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  And they would have, they had, like, they would go on probation. They would smoke spice and they were like, bro, that was fucked up.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  He smokes weed, he turns into like the Kony 2012 guy who just starts jacking off.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  It fucks you up.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Dude, it fucks me up in a crazy way. Last time I smoked weed, I was probably like 24. And, um, my friends from Calif, I was living in New York. They sent me like a weed pen. I ripped it twice. I was up till 5am crying. Cause I couldn't remember like Alan Rickman's name.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  I'm like in bed with my wife. I'm like, what's his fucking name? She's like, who? And I'm like, in Harry Potter. And she's like, Daniel Radcliffe. I'm like, you bitch, no. I made her go on like IMDb and she goes, Alan Rickman? And I go, yeah.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  Oh God, I love weed.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Dude, truly. And then like, I remember like that same night, I was like such a cliche. I was like watching Family Guy to comfort me. I was like, I need something like comfortable to watch.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  I would laugh at a scene in Family Guy and then start crying because I forgot what I laughed at.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Weed does something to me that it's unbelievable what it does to me. I get Alzheimer's, truly dude. I have dementia when I smoke weed and I'm scared, you know?

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  There, there is something scary about that though, because I, I used to smoke weed constantly and like having like the coolest thought ever that's going to change your life.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  And then two seconds later going, wait, what was that?

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah. Forget it.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  What the fuck is going? Yeah. You do get like.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  So I do that and then cry like a baby.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  I'm like way too emotional. It fractures me, dude.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  I used to get so high that I'd forget what room I'm in. So I'd be like so high and I'd be in the bathroom like peeing and I'd finish peeing and just be sitting there like, and then it'd slowly be like, where am I? And I'd look around like, oh, fuck, man.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  I used to, I used to smoke so much weed that I'd get like panic attacks.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  From them and like, but I knew how to handle them. And I'd be like, all right, I'm going to go put my feet up, get some blood to my head. And then the next day I'd be like, that's good weed. Not thinking about like, that's kind of a crazy experience to have had.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  I would also on dates when I was younger, I would go, I would get secretly so high from edibles and go on dates.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  So like, I'd be like a movie date, just like chill with my wife now. We went to the movies one time at like, you know, middle of the day and I was like panicking from an edible. I went in the bathroom and I'd be like mid date, like staring at myself in the mirror, being like, dude, you can alter your reality right now. You don't have to be afraid. It's all in your head. Like go sit back down.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  Get back in there and enjoy Wuthering Heights. All right. You have to.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  For your wife and your family, you have to enjoy it.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  Like you have Marvel movie.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  I'd go back in and be like, stop.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  I think I just hacked my fucking brain. I'll never be afraid.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  I think I'm Iron Man, actually.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  We're immortal. I just found out we're immortal.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, I rarely, I like, I'm like such a baby with it. We're all like, it's like a little bit.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  It changed my brain over time. I just smoked it so much that as I got older, I was like, I, I, why am I doing this to myself? I'm like nervous and uncomfortable in public now. It used to be like the total opposite, but yeah, it just fucks me up now.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm just not a drug guy at all. I've never done cocaine.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  Me either.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, never will. I don't understand the point really.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  Never will, never have.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  I did Molly for the first time with Devin.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  That's sick.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  New Year's, yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Molly's chill, I think.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  I lost my mind.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, at a party it'd be tough, but I feel like, was it a party?

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  It was an Airbnb in Joshua Tree. It was sick. It was actually great.

• 1:08:02Speaker 03

  We were alone, it was just us.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  It was just me and Devin, holding each other.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  We became one. I'm caressing his back.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  No, Molly with the bros is nice though.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  It was me and all my like high school bros and Devin and uh.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Everyone's drinking too though, so you're not really getting the full experience.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  The kicking on Molly does, it, it's actually, this is kind of embarrassing because I've, I've only ever, well, this isn't the embarrassing part of things, but I've only ever taken it with my wife. We go to a hotel room, we take it, we just like chill.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  That was the best part though.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  That's chill.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was great.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Kicks in, I need her to like, hold me because I, like it hits me so hard that I'm like.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Do you shake?

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  When it hit me. The first time I ever did it, like earthquake, like the whole world started shaking and it came on and I like.

• 1:08:44Speaker 02

  You ever seen like butterfly effects?

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  You know when he like transitions to a new timeline? That's how Molly hits me.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  The whole world's doing this and I was like, holy fuck, this is the most scared I've ever been.

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  The high was cool. The come down was the worst I've ever felt in my entire life.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  So, yeah, I, the come down for me is not bad.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  I didn't have a problem with it.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  I learned if you just have, if you just smoke a little bit of weed during, like a vape pen during the.

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  I'll lose my mind.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  But like you gotta, my brother was like, just sip it from the vape pen, just have a little bit. That actually did help. Last time I did it was like, the come down was kinda nothing. I went out and I ate a huge meal.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Sam, I felt like really happy actually for about a week after I first did it.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  If I, if I cope with the come down with weed, I wouldn't be here today. I think it would actually kill me.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, the come down can be, I could see it being kind of uncomfortable.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  Dude, I felt like I was going down a roller coaster for three days straight.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  I had that like body anxiety, like my stomachs and my throats.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Three days straight.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  My, I think my baseline is so low and depressive that like the molly wear off him is like, alright.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  I, I still feel like, like he hates when I, I discount that it's the molly that gave him this feeling. We were like binge drinking for days on end. There's like nothing worse than alcohol, like it makes me, I have like visions when I'm hung over and shit.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  I, dude, I'm the same way. If I drink heavily, especially if I like tackle like two days together, I'm like anxious and depressed for like three days straight.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it didn't help for sure, but I've been hung over a million times. I've never, I'm hung over right now.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  So, you know, I don't, I feel alright, you know?

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  Okay, that's fair. But no, I think maybe the molly by itself, if you ever tried it completely by itself, I don't think it's that, it's pretty chill actually.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, the first time I ever did it, I, I had like two tall cans. I was like, this sucks. And then my friend had given me a bag of molly. Cause I was very depressed about Kobe dying. And he was like, you gotta, you gotta get out of this funk, man.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  That's.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  It was, he's a great guy. Love you, Mark.

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  That's so funny.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And we were all gonna do like, it was very, yeah. We were all gonna do like mushrooms and then it just kinda fell through and I was just kind of like, man, fuck, I wanted to like, it was in the pandemic too, we were all stuck inside. So I just kept like dipping into this bag of molly throughout the night and then it all hit at once. And everything shook and it was like crazy and I vomited and then I went into the bathtub and just like kept feeling like the tub and shit. And then I just stayed up all night watching Kobe highlights and just going like this, like in front of the TV. It was amazing. It was like amazing. Everyone else hated me because they, I kept vomiting and making their lives horrible, but I had a great time.

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  No, it was great, man. My best night was their worst night. It's awesome.

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  So funny all night just.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  My friend came up, he came upstairs to check on me and I was just like doing this in front of the TV.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Cartoon.

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  Cartoon happiness.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  You're like a Sims character that's glitching.

• 1:11:38Speaker 03

  I went to bed grinning. Like, I remember falling asleep like.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  It was amazing.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  I mean, I've seen you watch Kobe highlights sober. It's the happiest I've ever seen.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love it. Love it.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Kobe freak over here.

• 1:11:49Speaker 03

  Love him.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  Obsessed.

• 1:11:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's awesome. My cousin played against the Mamba in summer league.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  For real? At Lower Marion?

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, my cousin's like a really, yeah. He was a really good basketball player and he played in the summer league. And I remember him being like, dude, there's this guy, he's from Italy. And he's like, he's like, and my cousin was really good. And he was just like, bro, like, this guy's a freak. He's definitely going to the NBA.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  That's unbelievable. That's the greatest. I met, you know, Pedro.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  When I started doing comedy with Pedro, Pedro said he went to Lower Marion and I was like, can I shake your hand?

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  I, that was, that was the coolest thing ever to me.

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  My dad went to Lower Marion.

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  Oh, snap.

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, pretty sick.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Well, guys, I think we did it. We're at an hour and I have to go now pick up my kid.

• 1:12:30Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  And, um, we're gonna have a date.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  Sick.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Little date.

• 1:12:33Speaker 03

  Little date with the kid?

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  What are you gonna do with son?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Cause I have two kids and the one's going to gymnastics. So every now and again, when one of them's busy, I get to do like one on one.

• 1:12:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  Uh, what are we gonna do? We are going to, well, it's funny. She already, she picked out her outfit she wants to wear. So she's gonna wear, there's like an outfit she got.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  This is the cutest thing I've ever heard.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is great.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  And then we gotta go to the Thinkery, which is like a kids museum and just like let her play in there and probably go out to like, like, early dinner.

• 1:12:55Speaker 03

  And take her to the mothership.

• 1:12:58Speaker 02

  Top it up at Mitzies.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  So we're gonna go, I gotta go pick her up at two thirty, what time's it right now? Oh, perfect. Two thirty. So.

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, man.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  Sorry, I don't know why I said, I was just excited about it.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  No, I should, I should have kids, you know?

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sorry. It just sounds.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  What's your fucking problem?

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  I don't know. I know. You're happier than me. It's fine.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  Thank you, man.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Oh, do you have anything you guys wanna?

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, Hate Watch Podcast.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Hate Watch Podcast.

• 1:13:26Speaker 03

  We're both on that. And Lemon Party, uh, we were banned off YouTube recently. Uh, there's a, there's a much more powerful, uh, Jeff out there than Epstein, I believe. Uh, check out Lemon Party. It's fine. It was just, somebody kept reporting us or something.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  Hey, you guys wanna get it back on YouTube's or you guys?

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  You hit up people, no one gives you a response.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  True.

• 1:13:43Speaker 03

  We got some emails from like our ad people. No one responded to us.

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  I don't know, but.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  We'll figure it out.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  It's fine, you know?

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, hell yeah. Hate Watch Podcast.

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. See you, guys.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  Bye. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:13:58Speaker 00

  Do it.