Jeff Goldblum Returns (Re-Release)

Re-release. Originally aired 6/5/2022. Please consider supporting those affected by the wildfires in Southern California. Jeff Goldblum feels utterly drenched and purged about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Jeff and Conan sit down once again to discuss Jeff’s mysterious dreams, jazz musicianship, the movie theater experiences that blew them away, and reprising the role of Dr. Ian Malcolm in the upcoming Jurassic World: Dominion. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:29Speaker 01

  Watch this. Hello, my name is Jeff Goldblum, G-O-L-D-B-L-U-M. And I'm reading for some of the first... Oh, yes, first name, last name. The empty something. Yeah, and then pause. Here comes. That's enough of that. "And I feel..." And then it says here, "However I feel." "Well..."

• 1:57Conan O'Brien?

  Madness.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Madness, madness. Hey, that's the last line of what movie? This is the, here, last line of movie, madness, madness. Tell me the movie.

• 2:07Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, I know that movie. I know that movie.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Is it an older movie?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Uh, yes.

• 2:13Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  I can give you a clue.

• 2:15Conan O'Brien?

  Madness, wait a minute. Is it?

• 2:18Speaker 01

  Madness.

• 2:19Conan O'Brien?

  Hold it.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Madness.

• 2:20Conan O'Brien?

  Is it, um, uh, Apocalypse Now?

• 2:22Speaker 01

  No. Uh, no, that's the horror.

• 2:25Conan O'Brien?

  The horror.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  You're close though.

• 2:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  And it has a similar.

• 2:30Conan O'Brien?

  Oh wait, it's The Last Family Ties.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:33Conan O'Brien?

  No, it does, it ends with madness. Madness. I love that this is the introduction to the show.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  We have to wrap up what this movie is and then do the name thing, all as one giant piece, we're still rolling.

• 2:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we're still rolling.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Really? Yeah, I mean, this has been, really, you can't use this as the.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  No, we can't, but give us a hint on that movie.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Uh, okay, I'll give you a hint. Hmm, a lesser cast member, Jack Hawkins. Probably don't even know who that is.

• 2:58Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my, what kind of clue is that?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Okay, set.

• 3:00Conan O'Brien?

  A ceramic mug features in a breakfast scene. There's a clue for you.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  No, no, Jack Hawkins, there are those who know very well Jack Hawkins. I'll get, and already know this movie, I'll give you the, uh, giveaway clue. Uh, Bill Holden, William Holden.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, uh.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Stalag 17?

• 3:17Speaker 01

  No, good, no, pretty good guess. It's a kind of a war picture, he does not deliver the last line, by the way.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Oh, uh, Bridge Over the River Kwai.

• 3:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, Bridge Over the River Kwai.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  That was my last.

• 3:26Conan O'Brien?

  Just as he blows up the bridge.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly. Now, all together, let's whistle the song that is, ready?

• 3:34Conan O'Brien?

  No, wait, that's the wrong one.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I can't whistle and I don't know that.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  You cannot whistle?

• 3:43Speaker 03

  I can't whistle and I.

• 3:44Conan O'Brien?

  Is that true?

• 3:45Speaker 03

  I, I don't, I've never seen this movie.

• 3:46Conan O'Brien?

  When I was a kid in camp, we used to, they taught us these old songs from the 50s as we trudged up the Appalachian Mountains. And we had to sing Comet. It makes your teeth turn green, Comet. It tastes like Vaseline, Comet. Make you vomit, so drink your Comet and vomit today. And then it'd be like, again! And we would do it again, and I climbed the presidential mountain ranges singing that song, not knowing what it was, how it, why, why, just because-

• 4:14Speaker 01

  And then you learned later that it was from that movie?

• 4:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  That's funny, that's funny. Hey, do you know this song? You reminded me of the song, "We're on the upward trail, we're on the upward trail, singing, singing, everybody's singing as we go." That would have been a more legit version of the marching song.

• 4:32Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yes, I suppose. Now, where does that song come from? Because you've confused us once again.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  And also, how do you feel about being Conan O'Brien?

• 4:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  My name is-

• 4:39Conan O'Brien?

  For god's sake!

• 4:39Speaker 01

  My name is Jeff Goldblum, and I feel-

• 4:42Conan O'Brien?

  Uh-huh.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  -being here with you now as if I'm revealing myself to myself, and-

• 4:52Speaker 01

  And I feel utterly drenched and purged.

• 4:58Conan O'Brien?

  It's okay. You, uh-

• 5:01Speaker 01

  Now, that's from a kind of a, an homage to a movie line also. That's not my originality and my, uh, unconventionality.

• 5:08Conan O'Brien?

  Why did you turn my podcast into a kooky trivia show?

• 5:11Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 5:12Conan O'Brien?

  That's what you've done.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  All right, testing, testing, one, two, three, testing, testing, bumblebee, testing, testing, all day long we sing the testing, testing song. Three, two, one.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Why can't you do anything normally?

• 5:42Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Why can't anything just be normal?

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, ask Michelangelo. Here we go.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:47Conan O'Brien?

  Three, two-

• 5:48Speaker 03

  There it is.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  The Ninja Turtle.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's who I meant.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:52Conan O'Brien?

  The best of the Ninja Turtles. Three-

• 5:53Speaker 03

  No, Donatello, big time.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  I'm a Leonardo guy.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Are you?

• 5:56Speaker 02

  And action.

• 5:58Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. The podcast that gives and gives until it can't give no more.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  What's it giving?

• 6:06Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  What are we giving?

• 6:08Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's spreading disease.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  We should stop.

• 6:09Conan O'Brien?

  It's spreading disease. This is a fantastic episode. I never say that up front, but we know for a fact because we bring to you today the amazing Jeff Goldblum, a force of nature, a star. And I don't mean a star in the sense of a Hollywood star. He certainly is that, but he is a celestial event, in my opinion.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  He really is, yeah.

• 6:32Conan O'Brien?

  He really is. So this interview that we have, I'm told, Matt, that you barely touched this one. Sometimes you do little edits and tweaks.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  I do.

• 6:40Conan O'Brien?

  Occasionally a guest will be on and they start to go into, you know, very inappropriate rant, and we have to take it out.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Occasionally, there's, you know, repeated stories or something through just natural conversation that I'll pull out. You're not missing anything as a listener from the things I'm pulling out.

• 6:56Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  But this one, it couldn't have any editing because it's music. It's a symphony. And I also always take out little mouth noises and clicks, but Jeff Goldblum has this repeating feline slurp.

• 7:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, he does.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  And it's just, I couldn't touch it. It would be like going, like you said, going to Michelangelo and editing his Sistine Chapel.

• 7:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Well, again, so not Michelangelo, the teenage mutant ninja turtle?

• 7:24Speaker 02

  No, I still mean him.

• 7:26Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  He was a wonderful painter.

• 7:27Conan O'Brien?

  Because he also worked on the Sistine Chapel.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:30Conan O'Brien?

  So it must be tough technically to edit a man who's constantly making low purring sounds.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  You can't do it.

• 7:36Conan O'Brien?

  Because how do you, you can't do an edit. I speak and then I stop.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:40Conan O'Brien?

  And there's nothing. But Jeff Goldblum, even when he's not speaking, hmm.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Well, you can do a crossfade and you can blend one sexual grumble into the next, but I would never do that. Like, who am I to censor his sexual rumblings, his subsonic sexual rumblings?

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:59Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you called it, first of all, sexual grumbling, which made it sound like a grumpy guy who's in a sexual mood, you know? I don't even know how that sounds. It's like, oh, yeah, I'd like to do it with somebody right now.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Kids today.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  So much to do.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  I have to do, I have to do the yard first, cause, but I'd still like to do it with someone.

• 8:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know what that means, but I'm, uh, yeah, there's not much to say when you have Jeff Goldblum and you've managed to capture a Jeff Goldblum in the wild and you get it to, uh, to talk. Um, it's, it's an event. It's a real event.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  And to that point, this introduction is about the interview. The interview itself is something like, I think 70 minutes long.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  And we do a segment at the end of this episode where we just talk about how wonderful that interview was. So this is an all Goldblum episode.

• 8:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And you know what? When I say all Goldblum, I don't hear one complaint.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:53Conan O'Brien?

  No one's going to stop me on the street and say that was too much Goldblum.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:57Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and set your filters, your Goldblum filters to high because you want to get all the Goldblum as it comes to it.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Was it 70 minutes? Just the part where he goes, my name is Jeff Goldblum and I'm, and I, I, I feel like that alone was like 45 minutes.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Will have already heard that moment.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  And that was, I think, three minutes and 46 seconds for him to say, hi, my name is Jeff Goldblum. And ultimately I feel, I think he said drenched, something like, like.

• 9:26Conan O'Brien?

  Who knows?

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Drained and drenched.

• 9:27Conan O'Brien?

  All I know is that once it was over, um, I had no memory of what had happened. I knew that I had, uh, you know, had an orgasmic high, but I didn't know what happened.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:40Conan O'Brien?

  And I think, I put it out to the listeners, listen to this Jeff Goldblum interview. And afterwards I doubt anyone's going to know what was said.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  I don't, you guys said so many names of shows and so many actors I had never heard of. And all three of you were like, oh my God, that guy was the best. Like, it was just like constant splooging over like seventies obscure shows. Okay. Come on. You, you're just doing a whole sex thing about grumblings.

• 10:09Conan O'Brien?

  Such a grumpy. Sexual guy.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  And you're telling me to clean it up because I said splooge.

• 10:13Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't say splooge. I didn't talk about.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  You got some you guys did all the whole interview.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  It's true. I mean, she's just saying the facts there. It's true. We did. Yeah.

• 10:21Conan O'Brien?

  Can you change that to squeegee, Nandit?

• 10:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:24Conan O'Brien?

  So it just becomes squeegee. You guys were just squeegeeing each other. That to me feels erotic.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  I didn't say each other. I said you were just every time someone would say, oh yeah, do you remember this one actor who was in one show for three episodes? You were like, oh my God, that guy was the best guy I've ever heard in my life. That's what I, that's what I just remembered.

• 10:42Conan O'Brien?

  Who's squeegeeing around you that talks that way? Never. That's not what it's, that didn't at all sound like a guy who was about to ejaculate. Then in no way, your guy who was about to ejaculate is like, yeah, so anyway, I'm gonna go get a sandwich and ah, ah, oh my God, I just came.

• 10:59Conan O'Brien?

  Who the fuck is that guy?

• 11:00Speaker 02

  You've been hanging out with Bruno the Spleger?

• 11:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Conan O'Brien?

  He just has orgasms when he least expects it. Anyway, so I think what we're gonna do is get a guy in here to rivet the beam. You need a good riveter. Cause the rivets have to be hot too, because they gotta go into the eye beam and ah, oh God, oh fuck.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Some people have narcolepsy. I got sploogylepsy.

• 11:23Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my, I got sploogylepsy.

• 11:26Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. This year I think the Mets are gonna go all the way. I'll tell you what it is. It's infielding. If you can keep the ball in the infield. Ah, fuck. Ah, fuck.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  I had to take my earphones off.

• 11:39Conan O'Brien?

  Fuck, I was talking about infielding. I thought I was safe.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Ew, Jesus.

• 11:44Conan O'Brien?

  I love this guy.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  This guy, Bruno the Spleuge.

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  You're listening to Bruno the Spleuge on KXW9.

• 11:54Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  All right.

• 11:55Conan O'Brien?

  Well, anyway, let's, let's do this. Let's do this thing. Strap yourselves in. My guest today is an actor who has starred in such movies as Jurassic Park, Independence Day, and Thor Ragnarok. Now he's reprising his role as Dr. Ian Malcolm in the highly anticipated movie Jurassic World Dominion. I, to say I'm excited is insane because it's beyond that. Delighted, excited, orgasmic.

• 12:24Conan O'Brien?

  To chat with him today, Jeff Goldblum, welcome.

• 12:31Conan O'Brien?

  Lord, I have to tell you, this is the inaugural podcast in our new studio with a genuine celebrity. We did a little messing around and testing beforehand, but you.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Genuine.

• 12:42Conan O'Brien?

  Genuine.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  You like that pronunciation.

• 12:44Conan O'Brien?

  That's what I say.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  You did Music Man at one point.

• 12:46Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I wish I had, I know you did.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Genuine. Uh, trumpet, uh, yes, I know, well, you know very well, you're in that movie.

• 12:52Conan O'Brien?

  So, listen, uh, I must tell you that, uh, I can't think of a better person to start this off with than you. You know that you and I have something, a certain freeze-on, admit it, admit it, we have something.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, we do.

• 13:05Conan O'Brien?

  No, and I will.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  A freeze-on, you know what that means?

• 13:07Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  I think it's French, and it means we're in constant, hmm, combination.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  The way you're moving.

• 13:15Conan O'Brien?

  You're moving like a lascivious snake.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Yes. Bring it out, admit it.

• 13:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, you are, uh, I've, I've interviewed you many times, you're one of my favorite people to talk to because you have a, um, an animalistic quality, yes, and I mean that in the nicest way.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Which animal?

• 13:34Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I don't know, it would be a reptile, I believe.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  I think a panther.

• 13:37Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, no, no, because it has a long darting tongue. I know that he can hit a fly at great lengths. Uh, you are, and you're a combination of animals, you are a panther, but you're also a lizard, of course, the fly, we must add the fly in there.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  Hmm, yes, yes. You just reminded me, I had, do you remember your dreams? I had a dream last night, I wrote down some of it, but I didn't remember until just this moment, this thing about the tongue, somebody last night in my dream had a tongue that was very, very long, and it came out completely, it, they, he, I don't.

• 14:12Conan O'Brien?

  The tongue detached from the mouth completely?

• 14:13Speaker 01

  It was a detachable, long tongue, yes.

• 14:17Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  You know, apropos of nothing.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  Well, first of all.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Of interest to nobody, but, uh, but you just, but that's true, and I had, forgot that, what the hell am I doing with that? The, um, yes, yes, I, I wrote these down madly as I, before I forgot them this morning.

• 14:31Conan O'Brien?

  This is your dream?

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Yes, some of my dreams.

• 14:33Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, let me pause for a minute, ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Goldblum, esteemed actor, is about to, he's relayed a dream that he had last night, and I can see that he's written it down, it looks like in Hebrew, I don't understand. Your handwriting is very bizarre.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Do you speak Hebrew?

• 14:48Conan O'Brien?

  It's very strange.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it is. You can't read that. It's, uh, my dad was a doctor like your dad was.

• 14:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's like Sanskrit. It's crazy.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  I inherited his, uh, thing. No, but, uh, that's what I wrote down. That's right.

• 14:59Conan O'Brien?

  Should we hear it? Yeah, should we hear the dream?

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can. Uh, but I, I did just remember that, uh, no kidding, that tongue part of it. That was also last night. Um, uh, this, this, there's nothing funny about these, but it may open a portal into our subconscious, all of us.

• 15:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, let's hope so.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  So, Robert Altman, you remember him?

• 15:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, the great, great director, Robert Altman.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  I worked with him a few times.

• 15:21Conan O'Brien?

  Sure. Name dropper?

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Well, I know. I know.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Uh, in any case, he was, he appeared in my dream. We're kind of in a hospital situation or something, and he appeared all of a sudden, to my astonishment and delight, alive.

• 15:35Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  He's now dead, lo, these several years. And, um, but he was alive, young and radiant, with his, I think they were his sons, and they were kind of sneaking him in and out of this thing. And I said, "Look at you," because he'd, I guess, I, I intuited right, I inferred right away, he'd, he'd, he had, uh, faked his death. For some reason. He seemed sly and delighted and, and it was now our secret. And he said, "Yes, be prepared for me to stay at your house." Something like that. And then they left.

• 16:08Conan O'Brien?

  That was the dream?

• 16:08Speaker 01

  That was one sequence. That's that sequence. The second sequence was, listen to this. I was in some kind of strange but heavy equipment pod that was, that was delivering us up a mountain, off the outside of, to view the, uh, a mountain. And it was the Alps. I think it was the Alps of some kind. It's the Swiss Alps.

• 16:29Conan O'Brien?

  You're in some kind of craft viewing the Alps?

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yes, and each of us in a separate pod. My wife Emily was in a pod a little bit away from me, and we were all experiencing this separately. And, but we could see a wonderful view of these mountains as they got higher and higher. And it was like the highest peak on earth. As we got further, we saw these old castles, kind of, you know, places. And that was amazing and wonderful. Then we got higher and higher until finally it got... And we knew we were at the top of the world. And then, and it was amazing and everybody was kind of, oh, you know, in awe. And then, before it started down the other side, like a roller coaster, we were like that. And then it started and it was a harrowing, uh, you know, ride that seemed like that.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I kind of retreated inside an inner compartment in this pod, in kind of a bathroom. And then I said, I'm missing it. I thought to myself, I'm missing it. So I went back up and kind of got some of it. That was it. And then, uh, it was over. We all, I missed my wife. I missed the group. And I seemed to be by myself, uh, left behind somehow. Couldn't find them. So I was like left behind. That's the second part of the dream.

• 17:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Kind of.

• 17:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. Let me say quickly, Freud had this, Freud had this theory that dreams have meaning. And we now know that Freud was wrong.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  That has no meaning.

• 17:47Conan O'Brien?

  This is insanity. There's no, there's nothing that opened no portal. There's nothing there. Robert Altman returns from the dead and wants to stay at your home and he's being sneaky and you're in a hospital. Then you're in a pod, you're observing the Alps, uh, you go up one side and down the other after spending a brief interval in the bathroom. Um, what's the last one?

• 18:05Speaker 01

  The last one, this may make sense of the whole thing. I was doing kind of a talk show or a podcast of some kind. Yeah, it's not curious to think.

• 18:13Conan O'Brien?

  Some kind. I guess there are so many.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Thinking.

• 18:16Conan O'Brien?

  None would come to the mind of a Jeff Goldblum.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  None, none like this. This is uniquely tippity toppity. That's how it relates to the second one. This is the crest. This is the summit of podcastery.

• 18:27Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you. Podcastery? We are the summit of podcastery, sir.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  The, um, and so I, but I was gonna perform in some way or being asked to perform. I wasn't kind of prepared or happy about it. And then the woman producer type, you know, laid on me some things that I wasn't prepared for. She said, oh yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna be talking to, um, Diane Keaton and Ron Howard. And we're gonna try to get you to get him to dance. And I said, nothing's right. The microphone isn't right. I have a pen. I have nothing. There's nothing right. And how long am I gonna do this? I, I said, didn't, she said, oh, another, you know, couple of hours. Well, that's altogether, that's five hours? That's two, that's, so it's, this is like a steady job. This is like a full-time job, right? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Well, okay. I was not happy about it.

• 19:15Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll tell you what. So you had a dream the night before coming here.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:18Conan O'Brien?

  About doing a long podcast.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:20Conan O'Brien?

  With a red-haired celebrity, Ron Howard.

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  And Diane Keaton, AKA Sonam Obsessian.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 19:27Conan O'Brien?

  And, yes, yes.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Obsessian, yeah. And then finally, I said, "There was a guy with great big bushy eyebrows." Let's see if I'm prescient at all. No, no.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Must be me. I mean, I trim them, but they could comb into my hairline if I needed them to.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, no kidding. Well, he was bad. And I said, "What's your la-" I said, "What's your name?" He asked, "Well, I want to learn everybody's name first and last." He said, "Last." He was kind of, you know, taken aback by that. And then I said, "Yes." And there was a big crew around. And I said, "Yes, I think I should learn everybody's name. In fact, I think if it were up to me, we'd all be wearing name tags." They seemed to be happy about that, dah dah dah. That's about all of that. That's that, Jeff.

• 20:01Conan O'Brien?

  Now, listen.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 20:02Conan O'Brien?

  Don't lose that sheet of paper.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:05Conan O'Brien?

  Okay? We can't have that lost to time.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  We need to frame that.

• 20:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that is, you know, here's what I'll say about you, Jeff. I never know what you're going to say. I never know what you're going to do. You are feral. You are a man that runs on instinct. You don't, and you're very much, I think, attuned. You should see the faces he's making right now. You're very much attuned to the universe, and I feel like you are constantly in the now. Is this correct?

• 20:32Speaker 01

  I aspire to presence, and yes, I'd like to be, yeah. I'd like to be here and now. That would be great, yeah.

• 20:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Yes, and you, that you've made a, you've devoted your life to the technology of the here and now, I believe. Isn't that also correct?

• 20:45Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I don't think I have at all. I don't know what you're talking about. I've, uh...

• 20:49Speaker 01

  You do, so you don't deny it.

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, all right.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  By the way, here, this, this, this, um, let me mention something. You know, I did, there is such a thing as, you go to, I don't know whether you're, you go to therapists and you've talked about dreams or interested in dreams, but there's a kind of, there's a thing called dream work. This may be of no interest to you, but there's a thing, but occurs to me, there's a thing called dream work whereby, this may not seem like it has any relevance to anything or makes any sense, but there are those who think, and I did it once with a good teacher, Sandra Seacat, that Laura Dern turned me on to, whom Laura Dern turned me on to, that you go to bed before the night of a, before you need an answer to something, you say, "Dear inner self," you write a letter, "Please give me an answer to something about this character that I'm..." Playing or my life aspect of this relationship and you have a dream and then you go to this dream

• 21:37Speaker 01

  coach and they go and you go well here's what it is I wrote it down doesn't seem to have anything to do with the play or my god and they go well not at first but how about this and they open you up to consider the possibilities of how your subconscious may be informing your activities and your questions where do you think of that?

• 21:57Conan O'Brien?

  My my mother-in-law lovely woman and very smart woman is a therapist and she yeah Liza's mom and she believes that dreams have all dreams have meaning if you have a dream and you tell her you know she starts to pick it apart I'm often having dreams that I defy anyone to make sense of because it just seems like random mush it really does it's just and then I realized that in most of my life I'm speaking in random mush yeah that

• 22:23Speaker 01

  So maybe they're related

• 22:25Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe they are related

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Yeah and you get fertile material in your dream life or not you know I I don't know about this I'm not advocating for one I don't know how I feel about it if you tell me dreams are just a kind of a weird you know you know discharge of your you know nocturnal you know

• 22:42Conan O'Brien?

  Well no there are nocturnal discharges that's a separate category

• 22:45Speaker 01

  Yes

• 22:46Conan O'Brien?

  Well there are they're just frankly are

• 22:48Speaker 02

  I know there are yeah What's that? I just don't know when you bring them up No

• 22:52Conan O'Brien?

  No no I wasn't gonna bring them up I was just gonna say it's a common term nocturnal discharge that and I and I wanted to make sure that people didn't misunderstand what Jeff was saying that you are separating the two

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Right

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Uh yes yes exactly and if we were not on air and I were more given to the ribald

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  Or ribald

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Or ribald

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Oh I don't know

• 23:14Speaker 01

  What do you think?

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Well he said genuine

• 23:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah I'm allowed to I as the host of the show I'm allowed to

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Make up your own

• 23:21Conan O'Brien?

  Make up the final laws on all pronunciations

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Really?

• 23:24Conan O'Brien?

  But please continue way

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know. So, well, my point is that I'm not going to continue into something that whole thing that I just thought of. I'd love it if you would.

• 23:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, don't be afraid of being rebald. We are all adults here. And I will say, this is a safe space.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, alright. No, I shouldn't. Well, you know, um, yes, yes.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  When I was young, you know, 12, 13, I think it happened.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Anyway, that's all, that's all I'll say. And, uh, you know.

• 24:00Conan O'Brien?

  Well, that seems young, is all I'm gonna say.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Really?

• 24:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. I was 37.

• 24:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. No, no, I was really watching them wrap up Seinfeld, and I just, it happened.

• 24:13Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I'm sorry.

• 24:16Conan O'Brien?

  Late bloomer I am. Um, you know, you have.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  You speak like Yoda.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Discharge late, it came.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  30,000 years old I was.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  By the way, I'm such big fans of yours. I've been watching a lot of, not just for my conscientious research purposes, but just for my own entertainment. Often, I go to YouTube and see, I've seen hours and hours and hours of your content.

• 24:50Conan O'Brien?

  Foolishness, I like to call it.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 24:52Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's nice. I love to think of you out there watching.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  I really, I really am. So, I know, I know.

• 24:57Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I think is something that makes me very happy is that none of our comedy was ever really about anything.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  No, that's for sure.

• 25:04Conan O'Brien?

  So, you can see something from 25 years ago, and it doesn't relate to any specific topical thing in the news. And other than the fact that my, uh, my head hasn't rotted yet in those clips, um, people can laugh at them all over again, which makes me happy. Uh-oh, you put on your specs.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  He's examining your rotted head.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Now that you brought it up, you all look great, you know, just great. Well, please, you can tell that this...

• 25:29Conan O'Brien?

  Those Irish heads that bloat as it gets older.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  You've said, I know.

• 25:33Conan O'Brien?

  No, I, this is true, you know, uh, you leave a gourd, you leave a gourd in the sun. Long enough.

• 25:41Conan O'Brien?

  And then winter comes and you have yourself a Conan. That's what happens over time. But, uh, you, I will say this, uh, I, I love talking to you because you're staring at me and you're examining.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  I like your glasses. I like your glasses.

• 25:54Conan O'Brien?

  You know why?

• 25:55Speaker 01

  You know why? Last, we had a conversation. I think I introduced you to these.

• 25:58Conan O'Brien?

  You did. Now, I will, I will admit freely that my style guru and my lifestyle guru is Mr. Jeff Goldblum.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 26:07Conan O'Brien?

  And I'll tell you why. He is a tall, good-looking drink of water. And whenever he's wearing something, I think, well, wait a minute, we have somewhat similar, uh, well, hold on.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 26:18Conan O'Brien?

  As Sona's about to really correct me. Let's say Jeff had been in an accident at some point, then Jeff and I would be very similar. That's all I'm saying.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  You guys have very different vibes.

• 26:28Conan O'Brien?

  Well, no, I'm not talking about the vibe. I'm talking just about when he is a tall man and he knows how to dress.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Right.

• 26:34Conan O'Brien?

  And I love, so during commercial breaks, often, often when he was on the show, people always wonder, what do you talk about with people? I can always tell you what I'm talking about with Jeff.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:45Conan O'Brien?

  A commercial break. I go right to, oh my God, that, those shoes. And, you know, I have large feet and you have large feet. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, my, oh, my boy. Oh, oh, yes, yes. And then, so I remembered once, uh, you came out and you were wearing these wonderful glasses that, that you really carried off well. And I said, I must wear those glasses.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:05Conan O'Brien?

  And I asked you, and you acted as if you were telling me where the secret ring was that would unlock the universe. You went, oh, oh, oh, oh, my boy. Oh, yes, yes. Jacques, Jacques Marie, uh, what is it? Limage?

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Jacques Marie Maje, yeah.

• 27:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Jacques Marie Maje. Oh, and he said, oh, my boy, I'll call ahead. I'll call ahead. And then you described going downtown and there's a secret knock and a corridor and a passageway. And sure enough, they're the greatest glasses.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Did you go, how'd you get them? Did you go to see?

• 27:33Conan O'Brien?

  I went with, I went with Sona.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:35Conan O'Brien?

  Sona came with me.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  You went to Jerome, to that studio? Oh, yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  I'm sure he, uh, greeted you and met you and showed you everything.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Wonderful. They were, everybody was wonderful.

• 27:42Conan O'Brien?

  But I mean, I have done this several times. You. We were doing something together that was not my project and not your project. We were recording something together.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  I remember the day, I do.

• 27:52Conan O'Brien?

  And you walked in and I always couldn't, I could never find jeans. I have a very unusual build, I'll say, and um.

• 28:04Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, so, sorry.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  What's your inseam? What's your leg? We have a long leg, you have a fine leg, I think. What's your inseam?

• 28:10Conan O'Brien?

  I have a very long leg.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  We'll say it together, ready? Here's our inseam, one, two, three, thirty-six.

• 28:16Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a thirty-six.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Thirty-six? Is it really?

• 28:19Speaker 02

  You said you were a thirty.

• 28:21Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I was afraid, I was afraid to go, I have a very, I have a long inseam and so I um.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  That's long.

• 28:30Conan O'Brien?

  So anyway, I see this gentleman come in and he's wearing these amazing jeans and I said, oh my god, Jeff, where'd you get those jeans? He went, oh, well, oh my boy.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  He said, oh my boy.

• 28:40Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my boy, oh, oh good, oh, and he went, oh, oh my boy, you simply must, oh. And then, and then you said, and then you said, and then you said, I'll never forget, you said, the Schaefer Garment Hotel.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  That's right. What?

• 28:52Conan O'Brien?

  And it's this place, yeah. He said, oh, the Schaefer Garment Hotel, and I go there and you said, just go, just go. So I go and of course, it's the coolest people in the world and they have like an old denim machine and.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  It's like the John Wick Hotel but for clothes?

• 29:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes, it is. It's the John Wick Hotel except just for jeans.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Oh my.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  And how about the hat maker in the back?

• 29:11Conan O'Brien?

  There's a guy there wearing like Slash's hat and he's like, I'll make you one of these. And I went, well, I don't know if I can carry that off. There's a dog that's in the store.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. You know who I ran into there once? I was with Emily, we went there to pick up a pair of jeans or a hat or something and um, it was just us and Bob Dylan.

• 29:29Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Yes, because he got his hats from that guy. Uh, I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I kept, I had important business, I was talking about hat and he came in and before I could say anything to him, he left, but I think Emily, I don't know, she said anything.

• 29:46Conan O'Brien?

  What, you didn't go up to him?

• 29:47Speaker 01

  No, no, I wish I had.

• 29:49Conan O'Brien?

  I think I, um, I mean, I've told this before, but I met him once.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:54Conan O'Brien?

  I got pushed to the front of the, I was, I went to see some concert of his and I was backstage and someone pushed me to the front of a line and there he was, the great Bob Dylan. It's my one chance to meet him and he, and he, all this conversation stopped and Bob Dylan looked at me and he went. I know you from the TV. It's true. It's true. The TV. He said, I know you from the TV. And just then, the other person backstage was Vice President Al Gore. And so all I hear is, I know you from the TV. And then I heard, Conan, Conan, it's me, Al Gore. And I'm like, what?

• 30:31Speaker 03

  What is this event?

• 30:32Conan O'Brien?

  And I go, what? We're all there for, we're all there for a concert to see Bob Dylan perform. And he goes like, I love rock and roll, you know, and, and suddenly, he's talking to me and, and I see Bob Dylan scuttle away. I was cock blocked with Bob Dylan by Vice President Al Gore. That's a true story.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  If you had told me that that wasn't a true story, but that was a dream you had last night, it would be just as credible.

• 30:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And then, uh, trust me, I wanted to detach Gore's tongue from his body to get him to stop yapping at me. He, uh, no, I'm sorry. Uh, you know, all due respect to a former vice president and of course, a leading figure in climate prevention change.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Just another nocturnal emission happening?

• 31:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. You know what? He does this to me. Jeff Goldblum does this to me. He unmans me.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're just bewitching and this is joyous.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:28Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:31Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen. You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 31:46Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 31:54Speaker 03

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 31:59Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 32:19Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space with available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View U.S. News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 32:57Speaker 03

  My kids.

• 32:57Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Or Okie.

• 32:58Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Or my dog.

• 32:59Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:10Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:14Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday. This fall, I want to try something different.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  What?

• 33:48Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 33:52Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:54Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Oh, that's good.

• 34:01Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:06Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:08Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Oh, that's weird.

• 34:15Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 34:17Conan O'Brien?

  And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 34:25Speaker 03

  You travel a lot.

• 34:25Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:27Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  That doesn't seem Like a good idea.

• 34:38Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:40Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 34:45Speaker 03

  My god.

• 34:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 34:50Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile dot com and find yours best based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile dot com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 35:21Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm around you, uh oh, look, I'm gonna take a sip.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  Isn't that really something?

• 35:25Conan O'Brien?

  Everything he does is perfection.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:28Conan O'Brien?

  You just want to take a sip and it's like there's a golden liquid in there, but I know it's just something. Okay, looks like ginger ale or rum. I don't know.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  No, it's some green tea that they made for me here. But I know how you despise ice drinks.

• 35:44Conan O'Brien?

  Of course, I heard that whole. I've seen every. I've heard every episode, every single one.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  I don't know if we should be excited or horrified that you're coming here, knowing.

• 35:52Conan O'Brien?

  I know everything, everything.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  I have to say.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  We're terrible people.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Jeff, you know, we really are an awful lot.

• 35:59Conan O'Brien?

  You can do better than us, Jeff. You know what? You can sip any day because everything you. Listen, listen.

• 36:06Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my god. That is Jeff Goldblum sipping. Oh, my god, you're the best. You know, you know what's interesting to me? There is a, there's a sensuality that you exude about, see, even with the smallest gestures, a sensuality. And then I find that I'm quite comfortable in my sexuality, but I find that when I'm around you, I'm open for anything. I really am. I am. I'm just saying that. I'm, I'm open. And Matt is as well. We're just up for it.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  I'd like to offer myself as a sacrifice in some way.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Wait, you mean like if Jeff invited you to like a weird sex party, you'd be like, oh.

• 36:46Conan O'Brien?

  You know how, you know how uptight I am, right?

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Yes, that's why.

• 36:49Conan O'Brien?

  But if Jeff Goldblum said, oh, this, come with me into this special sanctum and I want you to introduce me to, introduce you to my secret friends and it's gonna be, but first you must apply this wax. And oil. I would do it. I would do it because he's that.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  And it's gonna be Diane Keaton, Ron Howard, and Robert Altman.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  And Bob Dylan and Al Gore.

• 37:08Conan O'Brien?

  Bob Dylan's gonna see me and go, I know you from the TV.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  I'm gonna know you in a whole different way.

• 37:16Conan O'Brien?

  And then I'm just about to get it on with Bob Dylan when I get a hair. Conan, Conan.

• 37:24Conan O'Brien?

  It's me, Vice President Al Gore.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  Very erotic.

• 37:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Well, this, this little packet that we're in, don't you love this? Is this the first?

• 37:35Conan O'Brien?

  This is the first time, yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Well, I love this blue, blue velvet purse that we're in, you know?

• 37:40Speaker 02

  It's like a sex panic room.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 37:44Speaker 03

  With microphones.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Have you ever been in a sex panic?

• 37:46Conan O'Brien?

  This is sex, I have, yeah, I have been in a sex panic myself.

• 37:51Conan O'Brien?

  See, that's the problem. That's why I envy you is, is.

• 37:57Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think Jeff would ever be in a sex panic. Jeff Goldblum would never be in a sex panic. I am in a constant, even when there's nothing sexual happening, I'm in a sex panic. I'm constantly in my own head.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Well, he's the antidote because he could be a sex bomb to your sex panic. This is not.

• 38:11Conan O'Brien?

  A sex whisperer.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  Yes, sex whisperer.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Sex bomb, sex bomb. Who, who, who did that song? Sex bomb. It wasn't bomb, but it was bomb.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:20Conan O'Brien?

  Was it V52's?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  No, it was a big hit in Europe, particularly during these couple of years that I remember. Sex bomb, sex bomb.

• 38:27Conan O'Brien?

  You only remember a couple of years?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  I think we got it.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  No, during these couple, when it was a hit, he's looking it up. When it was a hit, I was in Europe making a movie and it was on all the time. But I don't think it made its way across the pond.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  I don't think it did either. It sounds familiar.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  And there was a video. I'll give you a clue. That same singer. It's not unusual.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Oh, Tom Jones?

• 38:48Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  Tom Jones, exactly. What James Bond?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Thunderball.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  You have a James Bond question?

• 39:00Speaker 02

  You're me.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  And they're called.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  And they strike, strikes like thunderball.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Do you know that Johnny Cash did a rejected Thunderball theme song?

• 39:10Speaker 01

  I did not know that.

• 39:11Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't know that.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Well, he unsolicited sent it to them and they went, we never asked for this.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  It was not that song. It was his own song.

• 39:17Conan O'Brien?

  You know, can I say something? And this is to be, uh, cause I know a lot about Johnny Cash. I revere him.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:22Conan O'Brien?

  He sent in a lot of unsolicited songs. He was constantly, uh, sending in like. Prell shampoo, Alpo dog food. He was constantly, yeah, he was constantly sending in, I've got a different way you could go with that song. Purina cat chow, chow, chow, chow.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  I can't even, I believed you for a second and now I feel really dumb. I was like, oh, you're kidding.

• 39:42Conan O'Brien?

  You know the best part of waking up? He's limping in your cup, you know, that's saying, Johnny Cash first sent it in. He did it in that Johnny Cash way.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, he first sang that song, you look sharp. Feel sharp. Be sharp.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Ring a burning fire.

• 40:01Conan O'Brien?

  Down, down, down, burning fire.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  I'm stuck on Band-Aids. Cause Band-Aids stuck on me.

• 40:08Conan O'Brien?

  He did the Oscar Mayer song.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Babylon has a first name, it's O S C A R. Babylon has a second name.

• 40:16Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, and you know what? I mean.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  No, no, wasn't the, wasn't the Oscar Mayer.

• 40:20Conan O'Brien?

  You know what the sad, last thing he did before he passed away was the cars for kids jingle. Yeah.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  I don't know that jingle.

• 40:26Conan O'Brien?

  Sing it.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  Is it one eight hundred cars for kids, something like that? Oh, that, okay, yeah. But I think the Oscar Mayer thing was, I'd like to be an Oscar Mayer weiner, or I'd like to be an Oscar Mayer weiner.

• 40:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I'd like to be an Oscar Mayer weiner, that is what I'd really like to be.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Now all the kids would be in love with me. I fell into a burning ring of fire.

• 40:48Conan O'Brien?

  Just so you know, to be fair, that most jingles that you love were written by Johnny Cash.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 40:52Conan O'Brien?

  Unsolicited, he would just send them in.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  But he did do the Thunderball, this is how we got started, dropping mental breadcrumbs, he did send in the thunder, you say?

• 41:03Speaker 02

  And it sounds like a typical Johnny Cash song, except it has kind of like John Barry horns in it. It's really something.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  I love that, I love that Thunderball, I was right at the right age for that, cause I had consumed Dr. No from Rush with Love, Goldfinger, I was so ready for Thunderball. Boy, that was great.

• 41:19Conan O'Brien?

  Is he your favorite Bond of all time? I'm gonna say for me, it's Sean Connery, but Daniel Craig is right, is right there with him, and I thought no one could do that. I thought no one could, Sean Connery was so incredible.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Fantastic. When he peaked, when he went to the summit of the Alps, after Thunderball, I think, nothing against John Connery, those movies.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  It started to.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  He was phoning it in.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  With her, yeah. And by the time he got to Jill St. John and.

• 41:49Conan O'Brien?

  Diamonds are forever.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Diamonds forever. Yeah, you know, not my favorite.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  I've never been happier in my life right now.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  I know, you're, you, this is right up your alley.

• 41:58Conan O'Brien?

  This is, I'll tell you, Matt Gourley is a Bond fanatic and a huge Jeff Goldblum fan. Now he's in a room, they've both come together and he's having an nocturnal emission.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Oh my God, there's so many emissions happening.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Diurnal emission all day long here. This is really.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  It what?

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  The what, the what?

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Diurnal?

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Diurnal? Oh, is that the daytime, the diurnal?

• 42:18Speaker 02

  I believe so.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Di diurnal, di diurnal, diurnal, diurnal, diurnal. I believe I know that song. Johnny Cash first sent that in.

• 42:26Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, listen, you have.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Yes, he submitted all my bar mitzvah songs.

• 42:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know what, you know what makes perfect? You know what makes perfect?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I fell into a burning ring of.

• 42:37Conan O'Brien?

  It's becoming more Elvis. It's becoming more Elvis than Johnny Cash.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  I never said I was the perfect, you know.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 42:44Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you are, you are a terrific jazz musician, and I'm bringing this up for a reason. I think to understand Jeff Goldblum, which is impossible, but to really understand what makes this man tick, I think is your love of jazz. You are constantly improvising in the moment and tuned into that crazy galaxy that real jazz musicians are tuned into. And a good friend of mine just went and saw you perform the other night and said that you were fantastic.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Really? That's very nice. That's very encouraging. Thank you. Yeah, we played the Disney Concert Hall.

• 43:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Two, a couple nights ago.

• 43:16Conan O'Brien?

  But what I'm saying is, am I, am I correct that, that there's something about music? You're, I just feel like you're in tune with some jazz musical score all the time.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:28Conan O'Brien?

  Is that, do you think that's, and this is a compliment, by the way.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Thank you so much. I like, well, I aspire to it. I'm a humble student of jazz and of the technology of presence in all its various ramifications, in the podcast world, in the jazz world, the musical world and everything. Oh, I had thought, by the way, aren't there, hasn't, hasn't anybody sung songs, a snippet of song about friendship? As you're still looking for friends? By the way, how, how many friends do you need? You've been looking, how long have you been looking for friends now? How many have you found by this time?

• 44:01Conan O'Brien?

  Jeff, they don't often take. That's the problem. I am. I don't wear well over time. That's one of the problems.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I feel that we are, you know, sometimes plants, they have to graft, they have to graft into each other is what you're saying.

• 44:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I'm right there with you.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  I think we have.

• 44:18Conan O'Brien?

  We need to graft into each other.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Yes, we need to, very, very much. Yeah, but think of, do you know any songs about friendship?

• 44:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, the, the song that, you know, we are gonna be friends, uh, that, uh, White Stripes did, Jack White. Um, he's a good friend of mine, and that's the song I wanted.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Name dropper.

• 44:36Conan O'Brien?

  He wrote the song, he wrote the song with Jeff Altman.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Oh, Jeff Altman.

• 44:40Conan O'Brien?

  Robert Altman, sorry.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 44:41Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, anyway, um, "Fall is here, hear the yell."

• 44:45Speaker 01

  You sing like a nightingale. I love your voice. When, you know, when you're not.

• 44:49Conan O'Brien?

  You really like my voice?

• 44:50Speaker 01

  When you're not doing that, you have a beautiful, authentic, conversational, delightful voice.

• 44:56Conan O'Brien?

  Can I say something?

• 44:57Speaker 01

  You must.

• 44:57Conan O'Brien?

  I, I'm always so self-conscious that I put trills and foolishness in there, and I never just sing.

• 45:02Speaker 01

  You just sang, and I loved it.

• 45:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Silent night.

• 45:07Conan O'Brien?

  No, he's gonna do a thing.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  You're gonna do a thing.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Holy night. All is calm.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's doing it.

• 45:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's doing it again, right?

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. All is bright.

• 45:17Conan O'Brien?

  Try to take all the, the vibrato out of it.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Sleepy.

• 45:22Conan O'Brien?

  No, no.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  I mean, you can't be normal.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  No, but you were just singing, so sing that, whatever you, you wanna sing, like the other voice, that, that's it.

• 45:29Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, let's see, uh.

• 45:31Speaker 01

  You've got a friend.

• 45:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no, I can't sing that song.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  How about the Jason Isbell song you sang to us that time?

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:37Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  What's him?

• 45:40Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah. Um, how's that go? It goes, uh, "Never could be happy in the city at night."

• 45:46Speaker 01

  That's beautiful.

• 45:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Um, yeah, "Can't see the stars for the neon lights."

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Beautiful.

• 45:52Conan O'Brien?

  Sidewalks dirty and the river's worse. Underground trains all run in reverse. Nobody here can dance like me. Everybody claps on the one and the three. Am I the last of my kind? Am I the last of my kind?

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Very moving, very beautiful. Boy, you should do, you should do a whole album of songs that way. I'd love to hear you do that.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  He can't do it.

• 46:15Conan O'Brien?

  I can't do it.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  I just want to say you two are just locked in icon.

• 46:18Conan O'Brien?

  I know, but can I tell you something? Can I tell you something, Jeff? I, I, I couldn't, and I'm supposed to, and I want to write a song with Amy Mann.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love Amy Mann.

• 46:29Conan O'Brien?

  I adore Amy Mann, and I'm intimidated by Amy Mann's talent, but we promised to write a song together. And then the last thing she said to me, I said, yeah, I'll do it. And she said, you know, it's just gotta be something like sincere. And something that you really wanna say. And I was like, oh.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:44Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's not gonna happen.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  You could do it.

• 46:45Conan O'Brien?

  No, I can't. I can't, Sona, will you tell them, please, say it over?

• 46:48Speaker 03

  I was on the edge of my seat the entire time you were singing, cuz I thought he was gonna go into some bit. And like do something with your voice.

• 46:54Conan O'Brien?

  Things eventually become a bit.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  It's a bit. It's a, you're like joking around.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Well, who knows where it will be consumed, or how it should be presented, but just for your own, just for, you know, just, just do it. I'd love to hear, just for me, and for Sona, and for us, I'd love to hear you do it. And you don't have to jettison your comedic force of nature. You could be surprising and do one like that, and one like that, and one like that. But that's a very useful part of your toolbox, in my opinion, and a very enjoyable one.

• 47:24Conan O'Brien?

  That's, well, that's very nice. I'm curious about something, because we have so much in common, not just our incredible height and physiques. Not, and not just our successful, incredibly successful careers, both of us, as, as, as actors. My point is that we both, and you mentioned this earlier, both of us, both of our fathers, doctors.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Yes, right.

• 47:50Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't know, there's this couple of similarities there. I'm fascinated by this idea that sometimes a salmon just knows it has to swim upstream. I don't know why, but somehow you knew, when you were a kid, that you needed to be a- An actor, you needed to be a performer.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Yep, I did, I did, uh, yeah, around ten, you know, we started to go to children's theater and, and I was like, what are they doing? Who is that? What are they doing backstage? And I'd be very excited, you know, to go. And then around ninth and 10th grades, I went to this summer session of Carnegie Mellon University and took real blue lessons and, and, uh, you know, oh, no, but before that, yes, I went to Chatta Music Day Camp around, uh, 5th grade and was in this show. And, uh, my dad had said, if you find something you love to do, that maybe is a key to your vocational choice wisely. And that night they said, so how'd you like that? And I was like,

• 48:43Speaker 01

  yeah, I liked it, but I kept it secret because there was no, you know, and we, I kept it secret. I wanted to be an actor and certainly in school, I was a well behaved, good boy and nobody would have thought that I would do anything like that, except that I played piano here and there and da, da, da, da. So that was it, yeah. And he was a doctor, but I must say, I don't know.

• 49:01Conan O'Brien?

  What kind of doctor, by the way?

• 49:02Speaker 01

  Uh, internal medicine, kind of a family doctor, you know?

• 49:05Conan O'Brien?

  Got it, got it.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  But like, you know, people, his patients loved him and he would always kind of keep up on his studies and this and that. And, um, you know, he liked medicine, but early on supposedly the story goes, he, when he just wanted to decide what he was gonna do, he was either gonna be a doctor or an actor. He, he had the idea to be an actor and then he stuck his head in the back of a class and thought to himself, this is out of my league, whatever that meant. Uh, so he was a, a doctor, but so he was a little bit tickled when I.

• 49:33Conan O'Brien?

  Of course.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:34Conan O'Brien?

  Did he, and he got to see you become Jeff Goldblum, the, the big deal?

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, not such a big deal, not even a big deal now, but he got to see me start to, cause things started to happen quickly. He died like in 83, around the time I did the big chill, but he saw a few movies before that and some plays, and I remember I did a play called City Sugar where I was the lead. I was a, a radio, uh, guy in England with an English accent, da, da, da, the Stephen Poliakoff play called City Sugar. And, uh, and I did it at this Off Broadway show. He went to see, when he came backstage, and he was not like this, he was burst into tears and threw his arms around me. Yeah.

• 50:14Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  I know, I know.

• 50:16Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I can't relate.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  I just realized something that's speaking of when you knew you wanted to do something. When I was a very young boy, my dad took me to downtown LA because that's where he used to work. First celebrity sighting was something being shot. A warehouse door opens up, outruns Ben Vereen, and then outruns Jeff Goldblum shooting 10 Speed and Brown Shoe.

• 50:39Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, and I was gonna bring this up, that the first time we met, I was, TV was our life preserver when we were kids. And my brothers Neil and Luke and I were really into, what's the new show? What's the new show? We're constantly looking for, what's the new show gonna be? It was a big deal back then. Now people are bombarded with TV and streaming all the time. Back in the late 70s, early 80s, you know, it was a big deal, like ABC's coming out with its lineup in the fall, and you'd, all summer you'd be excited. You'd hear rumors about what it was gonna be, and CBS is coming out with this, and NBC's coming out with that. And there was this show that we heard about called 10 Speed and Brown Shoe, and I, my brothers and I watched it, and it starred Ben Vereen and this guy I'd never heard of

• 51:24Conan O'Brien?

  before, named Jeff Goldblum. And it was fucking fantastic. It was so good. And I was like, who is that guy? Who's that guy? That guy's fantastic. And then the show didn't last.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  13 episodes is all.

• 51:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. It was fantastic.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Bring it back.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Stephen Jay Cannel, who had done Rockford Files and many other things.

• 51:46Conan O'Brien?

  But I remember.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  And what a great, greatest American hero.

• 51:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Well, believe it or not, I'm walking on air. But I, da, da, da, da, da, so good, yup.

• 51:55Conan O'Brien?

  Please don't ask me to sing that one.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  William Cat. Johnny Cash first sent that in. (singing) Walking on air.

• 52:02Conan O'Brien?

  So I, you know, but it's funny that, we all have, it's so funny that you bring that up, Matt, because that is the first time that I met Jeff Goldblum, I'm using your full name, just out of reverence. You know, it would have been a couple of years into the late night show that I met you, and you've, you know, you've done, I mean, everything. You'd have been in so many great movies, and I went back into your dressing Room and I was like ten speed and brown shoe and I remember you were you were like oh yeah ten speed and brown shoe and because I thought you might say oh well who cares about that you know I've moved on to so many other things and but it was such uh it really tickled me

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Yeah

• 52:40Conan O'Brien?

  when I was a I don't know is that um how old would I have been fourteen fifteen

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Well it was like nineteen eighty I think so you were born in

• 52:47Conan O'Brien?

  I was sixteen seventeen yeah

• 52:49Speaker 02

  So I was seven when I saw you guys shooting that and I just was baffled by the cameras and that you did it multiple times and going why are they doing it again and again

• 52:57Conan O'Brien?

  Really you were how did you wind up there what where

• 53:00Speaker 02

  My dad worked downtown and he would take me to downtown quite a bit downtown LA

• 53:04Speaker 01

  What did he do your dad

• 53:05Speaker 02

  He was a division manager for the gas company

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Oh I see

• 53:08Conan O'Brien?

  Well he also sold drugs

• 53:09Speaker 02

  He he Major kingpin

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Uh uh so downtown no kidding and you just happened upon us shooting no kidding

• 53:17Speaker 02

  And I was I was just blown away

• 53:20Conan O'Brien?

  I remember you know it's so funny when you think about these brushes with show business as we said earlier I was so far removed from you know show business in my childhood and then I'll never forget my father came home one day and he said they're shooting a movie at our at my hospital the Peter Brent Brigham Hospital which is now Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston it's a big hospital and he said they're shooting a scene right outside my office and we were like they're shooting a movie in Boston near my dad's like right outside my dad's office that's in that's impossible that can't be and so we rushed over there and it was a scene where actor James Coburn

• 53:58Speaker 01

  Oh

• 53:59Conan O'Brien?

  just has to walk out and open a car door and get in it and shut the door and um it and he walked out they go and action and so James Coburn walks up and he walks up to the car and it won't open and it won't open and they go cut the car's been someone had locked it with the keys inside so then we watched James Coburn just stand there while three like seven guys crowd around and start with a with a coat hanger trying to open the door and I gotta find out the name of this movie because I guess you can watch it

• 54:34Speaker 02

  What year would it this have been

• 54:34Conan O'Brien?

  This would have been like nineteen seventy one seventy two

• 54:38Speaker 01

  We could look that up we could find out

• 54:40Conan O'Brien?

  And uh and he trying to un un you know lift up the door and they couldn't get it and I thought this is movie making

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Wow, yeah.

• 54:49Conan O'Brien?

  The hell is this?

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Well, still, one is struck by that when you go to, you know, some movie and there's, you know, all the little things going on. Hey, I love James Coburn. You know, I saw the first run of Our Man Flint.

• 55:00Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  And in like Flint.

• 55:01Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, we're back.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do you remember how the telephone rang in Lee J. Cobb's office?

• 55:08Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have no idea what you guys are thinking about. This was kind of almost, almost a takeoff on James Bond, but not really. I mean, it was very silly.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  Derek Flint, Derek Flint.

• 55:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  And then Austin Powers had kind of borrowed some things like that, kind of went from there.

• 55:24Conan O'Brien?

  What is the James Coburn movie? I've got to find that out.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  I'll bet. Let me guess. Let me guess. After that, I think after that, he did a movie called The President's Analyst. You know, it could have been that. You know, I remember him talking about it on talk shows. I used to love talk shows when I was in Pittsburgh. I used to tune into, in summer, stay home all day and watch the Mike Douglas show. Go from Mike Douglas to, you know, Dinah Shore and the, Merv Griffin. And he used to come on. Remember, he was kind of a countercultural hippie actor then. And he used to come on with a turtleneck, you know, or in a medallion or something like that. And his act, he used to come on, not just talk, he wanted to play the gong. And he used to, he used to bring onto Carson a big, big gong and go.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  You know, that, that was his act, you know?

• 56:10Conan O'Brien?

  We had, you know what I love? In the tradition of, just to, just to let people know that we did our best during my late night run to keep the, the madness going. You talked about, you know, how people would just do strange things. One of the stranger things we did once was we just put out a salt lick on my show to see if we could attract a celebrity. And then you did it so nicely, out of nowhere, just Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, just in the corner, but he does it sort of like a, like a nervous.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Deer.

• 56:38Conan O'Brien?

  Deer. And he slowly approaches and I'm like, oh, looks like, looks like Jeff Coburn. Shh, everyone be quiet. And he came out, and then he like sniffed, sniffed the salt lick, and then he took a little lick. I remember that being one of my favorite, such a stupid, I don't care. So James Coburn played the gong with Carson. Yeah, let's see, uh, let's see, you have Jeff Goldblum. What do we got for Coburn?

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Coburn is the Carey Treatment. Carey Treatment is a 1972 American crime thriller film by Blake Edwards baseball.

• 57:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  Uh, it takes place in Boston.

• 57:09Conan O'Brien?

  In Boston.

• 57:10Speaker 05

  Doctor Peter Carey, played by James Coburn.

• 57:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 57:12Speaker 05

  A pathologist who moves to Boston where he starts working.

• 57:15Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I don't know it, but Blake Edwards, boy.

• 57:18Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? So this is another fun story. My dad's there, um, I, well, this didn't happen when I was there. They kept shooting this right outside my dad's window and he kept thinking, well, I could look, keep looking at this microscope for a cure to a terrible disease, or I could go outside and hang out with these movie folk. So he went outside and he's chatting and he can't believe it, but Blake Edwards is there with his wife, Julie Andrews.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:41Conan O'Brien?

  And Ju- and, and a friend of my dad's who doesn't know much, cause he's always looking in a microscope, is talking to Blake Edwards and then he turned to Julie Andrews and said.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  The friend of your dad's?

• 57:51Conan O'Brien?

  The friend of my dad's and said, now, now tell me, miss, what do you do?

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Oh, no, oh, no.

• 57:57Conan O'Brien?

  And she said, well, I'm, you know, an actress as well. And he went, well, and then later on, people told him what, what he did and the guy, I think, put his head in a cyclotron.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  It's like that scene from Notting Hill when, uh, you know, Julia Roberts comes in.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Hugh Grant's.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  I know that reference. Yes.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Notting Hill.

• 58:15Conan O'Brien?

  There you go, we're getting closer and closer to her references.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  When you said Julie Andrews, I was like, yeah, she narrated Bridgerton, so I know her.

• 58:23Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? Oh, my God.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Sound of Music, Sound of Music.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

• 58:28Conan O'Brien?

  You know, when that, when the Thanksgiving Day Parade, when I lived in New York, uh, we lived, uh, on the Upper West Side and my kids were crazy about seeing, um. You know, the parade go by and so I'd always take them, they were little kids to see the parade. And once I'm watching on the television and we haven't gone down yet and the parade is going by. And then they said, and here comes Julie Andrews. I lost my fucking mind. I'm at the time, you know, I'm whatever, I'm a 46 year old man. I ran without my kids. Oh, my God. And I ran all the way down. They were like, where are you going? And I ran because I wanted to get down there fast and I saw her go by and I was like, it's Julie Andrews.

• 59:11Conan O'Brien?

  And I've been on TV at this point, you know, whatever, 12 years and I'm like, ah, Julie Andrews. I mean, she didn't see me, but.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 59:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Amazing. How about the movie 10? She's in the movie 10 of course, too. But Sound of Music I saw when it first came out, you know, it was a big deal around that year. And I showed it to our kids now. I showed us, we showed Sound of Music. We haven't shown them many movies. I'm going to show them, they've never been to a movie theater, but I think I'm going to take them to see Jurassic World.

• 59:36Conan O'Brien?

  Your kids are.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Seven and almost seven and just turned five.

• 59:39Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Okay. So they're at such a great age and because of COVID, they've missed out on some of these great experiences. Like going to a movie theater is so, that was the biggest thing in the world that could happen to me was to get to go to a movie theater and see a movie.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Really?

• 59:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And so when I say to, you know, anyone in my family now, hey, do you want to go see a movie? And they're like, eh, I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. What are you talking about? It's because they can see anything they want at any time.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  Right. Oh, yeah. Go to a movie theater. I'm about to do, I'm involved in this cycle of publicity for Jurassic Park Dominion. And one of the things we're encouraging people to do genuinely on my part is to go out and see it in the movies, you know, of course. And I made a list because of that. I thought, oh, what are the best times I've ever had in movie theaters in my life? Because it's a, you know, that's a way to talk about it. And, um, and so I started to remember, and with the help of my sister too, uh, all the movies I saw importantly when I was a kid. And she said, oh, remember this one. And it's been a nostalgia blast.

• 1:00:36Conan O'Brien?

  So these are the movies that really. Really blew you away.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Yes, these are the ones we remember. She and I used to go to, they used to drop us off to the Leona Theater, this big beautiful jewel box of a three-tiered movie, movie palace.

• 1:00:47Conan O'Brien?

  In Pittsburgh?

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  In Pittsburgh, West Holmes, suburb of Pittsburgh, not downtown, it's a little suburb, but they had this movie theater. And we'd go for, you know, twenty-five cents, fifty cents or something, whatever tickets were. Get popcorn with butter and salt and then hot dogs.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  So Jeff Goldblum is about to read a list of his favorite movies. This is heaven.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  The ones that made a big difference that I can remember to this day.

• 1:01:05Conan O'Brien?

  Let's hear it.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Okay, we saw, see if, see if any of these mean anything to you, uh, The Absent-Minded Professor.

• 1:01:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  You know, Fred McMurray, Flubber, all that, that made a big impression on me. The Blob.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Oh, the original?

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Which I've seen recently, Steve McQueen, very good, his first movie, you know. Uh, now, who was, of course, you'll know who was in all of these movies, which we saw, you know, we saw whatever they, that came to there. But during this period, the sixty, you know, early sixty, The Bell Boy, Cinderella, Disorderly, Orderly, Visser Small, Planet, Geisha Boy.

• 1:01:35Conan O'Brien?

  Of course, The Nutty Professor.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Deliquently, Delinquent, Rockabye, Baby Night, Professor. Yeah, loved it. Then I got the chance to meet him. Did you ever meet Jerry?

• 1:01:42Conan O'Brien?

  I did. I got to meet him. I got to interview him, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  That's so interesting. Well, we could talk all about that.

• 1:01:47Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you meet Jerry Lewis?

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Yes, I did. I was going to play his son in that last movie that he did, uh, Augie Rose. Augie Rose? Augie?

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Max Rose. Max Rose, Max Rose. And, um, and so I went to Vegas in order, I was almost gonna do it before I got something else and couldn't, da-da-da-da. And, um, so I hung out with him in his office in Las Vegas.

• 1:02:09Conan O'Brien?

  How was he?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  And bonded. Amazing. We could talk for, you know, amazing. He'd made a big, he was big in my childhood and during this period.

• 1:02:17Conan O'Brien?

  Massive star, yeah.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Thrilled to meet him. And he was, you know, as you know him at that stage, great, you know, great and complicated and.

• 1:02:25Conan O'Brien?

  Very complicated.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Uh, but those movies, when we were seeing those movies, big deal. The, do you know what this movie is? The Sterile Cuckoo?

• 1:02:35Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  Uh, Liza Minnelli's first, Liza Minnelli's first movie. She plays a kind of a nerdy girl.

• 1:02:41Conan O'Brien?

  The Sterile Cuckoo.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Sterile Cuckoo is coming.

• 1:02:43Conan O'Brien?

  Terrible name for a movie. It is.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  Nobody wants, sterility is never.

• 1:02:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Something that draws the, the masses.

• 1:02:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  Now.

• 1:02:52Conan O'Brien?

  Come one, come all, bring the family. The Sterile Cuckoo. That cuckoo's not having children.

• 1:02:58Speaker 01

  How about this movie? Who knows this? I don't think you will. Georgie Girl.

• 1:03:02Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Hey there.

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  Georgie Girl. Walking down the street so fancy free was played by

• 1:03:09Conan O'Brien?

  Lynne Redgrave.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Lynne Redgrave, whom I worked with later, believe it or not. Oh, well, Bridge on the River Kwai, we saw the first viewing of. The man who shot Liberty Valance.

• 1:03:19Conan O'Brien?

  Ah, yes.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  I love that. Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte. How about, you know, Betty Davis and Joan Crawford together? Gay purree, P U R E E. About an animated movie about, in an impressionistic style, French impressions, about cats. And I think Robert Goulet did a voice, you know. Great, Dr. Noah from Rush with Love, Goldfinger, fantastic. Our man Flint, I have Pink Panther, the first Pink Panther. Now you went to a movie theater and there was Peter Sellers, never seen before, as Clouseau, Blake Edwards, unbelievable. I remember the day we saw that.

• 1:03:52Conan O'Brien?

  Those movies changed my life.

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Bobby D and I went, my best friend, went to that theater to see Psycho. First time run of Psycho. Unbelievable. I just spent some time with Jamie Lee Curtis in CinemaCon, you know.

• 1:04:05Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's so great about, there were all these great, they don't do it anymore, but there were these great promotional tricks that they did back in the day to get people to come see movies. And Alfred Hitchcock was a genius at this. So when Psycho came out, he had like ambulances outside the theaters. And he very much publicized, we're gonna have medical personnel available for people who faint or have seizures during this terrifying movie. And, you know, people went mad for it.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  And there was like a do not be late for this one, remember?

• 1:04:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  We won't let you in after the first.

• 1:04:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, we won't let you in.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Do not tell your friends what happens.

• 1:04:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, exactly. And, and, and he did all that stuff. He did it with the birds. He did, he had all these great, I mean, what a great showman he was, in addition to being, you know, this incredible.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Birds was another movie we saw first run, loved that day that we saw that. But then we went, oh, I had a crush on this girl. And we went, I went on a field trip hoping to kind of be near her. I had not made any headway. When we saw Hard Day's Night.

• 1:05:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Conan O'Brien?

  What girl did you have a crush on?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Stephanie Iguodala.

• 1:05:07Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I thought you said, oh, oh, okay. I thought you meant you had a crush on a girl in the movie.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  No, not in the movie.

• 1:05:11Conan O'Brien?

  Those were fellas, they just had long hair. No.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  In ninth grade, in ninth grade, no, Stephanie. And she was going, so I was gonna tag along too.

• 1:05:18Conan O'Brien?

  Have you ever kept up with?

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  Stephanie Ignatz?

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  You know, I um...

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  We have her here today.

• 1:05:23Conan O'Brien?

  Ah, here she is.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 1:05:25Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, look out, she's deranged.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Some ten or fifteen years after this period, we got in touch and we saw each other. She went out to California and uh, you know, I saw her.

• 1:05:39Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, okay, you saw her, but she didn't see you, huh? You followed her from a distance.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, not like that.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  They saw each other.

• 1:05:47Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  He closes the deal.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Not like that, no, no.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  He understands.

• 1:05:51Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I'm making it clear. What I do is I look them up and then I just, uh, I peer at them through shrubbery from fifty yards away.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:05:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's my...

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  You should...

• 1:06:00Conan O'Brien?

  When I say, "Oh, I saw her," that's what I mean.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Norman Bates, speaking of Norman Bates.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Threw a hole in the, in your office wall.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  He's got them all over this building. It's horrible.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:06:12Conan O'Brien?

  I have to ask you, speaking of movies, we have to talk about, because in Jurassic Park, in this character that you played, Doctor Ian, uh, uh, what's the last name?

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Malcolm.

• 1:06:23Conan O'Brien?

  Malcolm, that's right.

• 1:06:23Speaker 01

  Malcolm.

• 1:06:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, um, you, I mean, god, you nailed that character so much, and now you're coming back and you're assembling with the same people to, to bring this, these people back to life.

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Yes, sir.

• 1:06:36Conan O'Brien?

  So, who else is with you in this? Laura Dern?

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Laura Dern, of course, uh, the great Laura Dern, the great Sam Neill. Uh, so the three of us from the first movie are back together for the first time since then.

• 1:06:46Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  And we're reunited and have something to do with in this story with Bryce Dallas Howard's character and Chris Pratt's character, but also B.D. Wong is back from the first one and Omar...

• 1:06:59Conan O'Brien?

  That's great.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, isn't that great? And Omar See from most recently and um, Daniela Plonada and Justice Smith and wait a minute, wait a minute, and new, new characters, DeWanda Wise, Mamadou Ache and um, and Campbell Scott are in this, yeah.

• 1:07:16Conan O'Brien?

  But you know, kind of, give it, give it, think about, I mean, this is something that I think would be worthwhile for you to settle with for a second, is that movies were such a big deal for you growing up. You've now been in a bunch of movies, and you think about Jurassic Park, so many young people, that was an eye-opening experience for them, and you were a big part of it.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Conan O'Brien?

  Interesting how the the loop closes in a strange way, isn't it? It's fascinating.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  I know, it's a dreamy life that I've had. I can't believe it. I'm very grateful. And it's amazing that I had get a chance to be in some movies and some movies with people like I've said that I saw early on. It is amazing.

• 1:07:55Conan O'Brien?

  I have to say that that is something, and I brought this up before, but also I've had a dreamy life and getting the chance to just, to me, getting to interact with someone I saw on a movie screen or a television set when I was a child. Nothing tops that.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Conan O'Brien?

  And, you know, there are all these massive stars that come along later on in life and and and it doesn't have the same effect as meeting someone like a Dick Van Dyke or meeting someone who was in a movie in a huge deal when you were a kid like Jerry Lewis, you know, or or, you know, seeing a Julie Andrews on a parade float go by and even though she's 50 yards away, I can't believe that that, oh, wait, I saw you there as a child and now you're still here. Life is magic.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  Amazing. Vincent Price, we saw some Vincent Price movies, then I did, who was in The Fly, the first Fly, which I saw back then. I think I saw him in a Ralph's later.

• 1:08:56Conan O'Brien?

  You saw Vincent Price at a Ralph's?

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  I do believe so. I think I went up to him. Yes, yes, he was, you know, picking out melons or something. Yeah, he was a big chef, you know.

• 1:09:07Speaker 03

  My god.

• 1:09:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's too bad Bill Hader isn't here because he does. Bill Hader does the best Vincent Price of all and he'd be going, you know, he'd, I don't do it, but he'd be here doing Vincent Price at a Ralph's.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  We should remind him of that.

• 1:09:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:22Conan O'Brien?

  You know, we should do, we will be seeing him soon. We should remind him of that because Vincent Price at a Ralph's and I used to, you know, when I first moved out here to LA a long time ago in 1988, my brother Neil came out and visited me and there was a Ralph's across the street and he kept seeing all these huge stars. He saw Cesar Romero.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:09:39Conan O'Brien?

  The Joker. And he'd be, he'd come back and he'd go, I saw him. And I'm like, what is he? He was buying, he was buying dog food at at Ralph's. He was always going to Ralph's and he would hang out there and he would go right up to them and go, I loved you as the Joker or I saw Harry Morgan from MASH. And I, you know, and then he would always tell me what they were buying, you know? He was buying a giant thing of beans, you know? It always never matched. Like, I saw Cher. What was she getting? Industrial strength toilet cleaner.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:10:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, oh, I didn't want to know that.

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  She would never.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  She would never.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  I was so crazy about the, I hadn't met anybody famous or who was in movies when I was a kid. And the first couple of brushes I had, who did I first? We went to a, on a vacation and who was staying at this hotel was Darren McGavin.

• 1:10:29Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  He's great.

• 1:10:30Conan O'Brien?

  Of The Night Stalker.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  Yes. I was like, oh, do you think we'll see him at breakfast? Well, I, I do, you know, I never went up to him, but I was just, when, when are we going to see him again? You know?

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  He's the dad in Christmas Story.

• 1:10:42Conan O'Brien?

  In Christmas Story, he's the dad. But he's also one of the great, he's also in The Natural. Obviously, he's, he's one of the villains in The Natural.

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  One funny guy in that.

• 1:10:50Conan O'Brien?

  And, and, but he, he did, I think, maybe my favorite show as a kid.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  Kolchak?

• 1:10:57Conan O'Brien?

  Was, uh, well, he played Carl Kolchak in The Night Stalker, which was the scariest show on television. It only ran, I mean, maybe it ran two seasons, if that. It was not a success, but it was such a scary show.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  I have that on DVD.

• 1:11:12Conan O'Brien?

  Do you? No, it's, it's fantastic.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  I've never seen them. I don't know.

• 1:11:16Conan O'Brien?

  And, and Darren McGavin was, was fantastic. And I got to, I don't think he ever did my show, but I got to meet him once. And, yeah, my soul left my body. I was so excited. I couldn't believe I was meeting him.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Unbelievable. Unbelievable. So, uh, yeah, I'm back in this movie now and, yeah.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Come out June 10th. You brought it up.

• 1:11:37Conan O'Brien?

  That's your, I love that you went, so anyway, I'm back in this movie and, uh, well, da da da da da. June 10th, you brought it up. I love that.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  I was just trying to remember where we got off that. But next on my list was Diary of a Madman, Vincent Price and Tomb of Lygia. He was, he was a big deal to us, you know, some of those Roger Cormes. I was a teenage Frankenstein. I was a teenage werewolf. They're two hot, two horrible movies, but interesting. Ego.

• 1:12:01Conan O'Brien?

  Did anyone ever do, I was a teenage teenager?

• 1:12:05Conan O'Brien?

  I'm just curious. So it'd be kind of meta, but I'd do it.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  It's a good idea. That's a billion dollars.

• 1:12:10Conan O'Brien?

  It's a teenager who then like did, turns into a teenager who's just slightly older.

• 1:12:15Speaker 03

  He's like fifteen and he turns seventeen?

• 1:12:17Conan O'Brien?

  He turns into a sixteen year old.

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:19Conan O'Brien?

  He's a fifteen year old and he goes in a corner and it's like, "Ah!" And then he comes out and he's a sixteen year old.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  He can legally drive but doesn't know how to.

• 1:12:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he can legally drive but he can't, but he has the same amount of acne.

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  What a terrible movie.

• 1:12:30Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's a great movie and I've got the rights.

• 1:12:33Speaker 03

  Okay, no one's gonna fight you.

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  You can have him.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  I remember when TV shows would come out, what you were talking about, when, you know, the new lineup. Boy, I loved Friday nights when Wild Wild West would come on.

• 1:12:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, huge.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. Robert Conrad and Ross Martin, who played...

• 1:12:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yep, Ross Martin, uh, damn it.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  Artemis Gordon.

• 1:12:54Conan O'Brien?

  Artemis Gordon.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  King Kong versus...

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  We left that open for you, so I didn't take it.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  What, really? Why?

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  No, I don't know.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  How about Gigo? Nobody knows the movie Gigo.

• 1:13:03Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  Jackie Gleason, Jackie Gleason. He plays a mute dead, kind of a village idiot. Oh, it's great. First movie I ever cried at.

• 1:13:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I guess.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  It's heartbreaking, yeah.

• 1:13:12Conan O'Brien?

  I'm crying hearing about it. That's, uh, you're mentioning a bunch of movies that had a huge impact that I don't know.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  You'll know this one. Jason and the Argonauts.

• 1:13:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, of course.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  All that Ray Harryhausen stop motion stuff.

• 1:13:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  Magical day, magical day. Vertigo, did see the first run of Vertigo. Maybe my favorite Hitchcock movie. Speaking of Hitchcock, you know Vertigo?

• 1:13:31Conan O'Brien?

  I don't, it's not my favorite.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:13:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'm sorry.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Bernard Herrmann does the score. Wonderful music from that. But why don't you like Vertigo?

• 1:13:39Conan O'Brien?

  I didn't say I didn't like it. I just have the Hitchcock films.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  What's your favorite Hitchcock?

• 1:13:43Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, wow, it's gotta be Psycho. I also like Strangers on a Train.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  Oh, that's, uh, that's, uh, yesteryear, yeah, that's interesting. Farley Granger, Farley Granger was in that. I met Farley Granger.

• 1:13:58Conan O'Brien?

  You can't just say a name twice and have it have more impact.

• 1:14:01Speaker 02

  Yes, you can.

• 1:14:01Conan O'Brien?

  Farley Granger, Farley Granger.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  I think he's proven that he can.

• 1:14:06Conan O'Brien?

  You know, it'd be great, if you, I think you'd be a great prosecuting attorney. Because you'd say, you know, the killer is, of course, Steve... Steve Miller. And people would be like, well, he's gotta be guilty. He said his name twice.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  Steve Miller from the band?

• 1:14:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Well, I just threw a name out there. It's a common name.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  He's not suspicious in any way.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  He's the gangster of love. He's gotta be guilty.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  That's true. That's true.

• 1:14:29Speaker 02

  I stand by that.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  What were we talking? Oh, yeah. What were we talking about? Whose name?

• 1:14:33Conan O'Brien?

  You were listing.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  Oh, Farley Granger.

• 1:14:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  You know who introduced me to Farley Granger? Shelley Winters, whom I met on this movie called Next Stop, Greenwich Village, that Paul Mazurski directed in 1975. Right. I came out here and we were kind of palsy. Shelley Winters.

• 1:14:49Conan O'Brien?

  Lovely woman. She was lovely.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:14:52Conan O'Brien?

  She was on our show in the early years and I loved her because I knew her mostly from Poseidon Adventure.

• 1:14:56Speaker 03

  I know that one.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  That's fantastic. You know, she was, she was the, in the Poseidon, but she was also in Lolita. She's great.

• 1:15:03Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, she's great in Lolita.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  She's great in Place in the Sun with Montgomery Clifflin and Liz Taylor. Spectacular. Hey, did you ever, did you ever meet Liz Taylor?

• 1:15:13Conan O'Brien?

  I did not meet Liz Taylor. No.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  I knew, I knew Liz Taylor.

• 1:15:16Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, really?

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:17Conan O'Brien?

  What was she like?

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Spectacular. Spectacular.

• 1:15:21Conan O'Brien?

  She, yeah, she was one of those people. There's a, there's a, it all depends on when you get into show business. And I, you know, you need to get in at the, I, I missed, you know, I, I shouldn't say that. I got to meet all these amazing people who then passed away. It makes me sound like a killer. I met them and then they were gone. Suspicious, eh? But, but before that, but I will say that, you know, there are all these great stars that passed away, you know, before I came along in 93 and you think of, you know, all the great, so many great stars from the, she had not passed away, but refused to take my calls. Elizabeth Taylor.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:56Conan O'Brien?

  Wisely, very wisely.

• 1:15:57Speaker 03

  Don't blame her.

• 1:15:57Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Right. Who were we talking? Oh, so Shelley Winters, who was in Place in the Sun. And also, what did she win the Oscar for as supporting actress, as they were called in those days? What did she win for? She won for?

• 1:16:13Conan O'Brien?

  Why'd you become an evil German scientist?

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  What did she win for? You will tell us what she won. I just let me, you will not leave until you tell us what Shirley Winters won for. Supporting actress. I dish out sleep.

• 1:16:34Speaker 01

  What was it? Very good.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Patch of Blue.

• 1:16:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Patch of Blue with Elizabeth Harpren and Sidney Poitier.

• 1:16:46Conan O'Brien?

  The prisoner says, "Patch of Blue," and he goes, "Ah!" Okay, you can go.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  You're the first. I'm putting that down because I-

• 1:16:55Conan O'Brien?

  You can go. It is, uh... Did you, did you park you in our lot? Because we validate.

• 1:17:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I did. Okay, well, hold on. The guy completely loses his fervor. Patch of Blue. Oh, okay. So, you, you go out the way you came, just take the elevator.

• 1:17:17Speaker 02

  I'm crying.

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  Do you want me to validate that? Uh, very good. Yeah, I'm adding Patch of Blue because I'd forgotten it because we saw Lilies of the Field and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, all in the, um, Sidney Poitier category. In any case, so Shelley Winters took me to, uh, Musso and Frank's for the first time.

• 1:17:35Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God, that is the ultimate-

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Me and her and Farley Granger.

• 1:17:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:17:40Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  She said, "Get the sandabs. Sandabs are, they're known for their sandabs. Nobody else serves sandabs." You know what the fish, sandabs? At Musso and Frank's, you can get the sandabs still. Uh, fish. Kind of a fish.

• 1:17:51Conan O'Brien?

  A fish that you get. It's been fried often.

• 1:17:53Speaker 01

  Fried, the fried sandabs, kind of a, the sole of, uh, a variation of sole, I do believe.

• 1:17:59Conan O'Brien?

  I just, uh, those, I mean, I live for those experiences. I live for the idea that you would see an iconic star in a restaurant and you would end up hanging out with them, um, you know, someone you grew up watching on TV. And I was at, uh, some restaurant once and Warren Beatty was at another table and the next thing you know, I got invited over and I'm sitting with Warren Beatty and he's, I mean, uh, Bonnie and Clyde was such a huge deal to me.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  That's how I first run with my family.

• 1:18:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and, and then I'm sitting there with him and I just can't believe it. I'm supposed to play it cool. But then you can't because it's too big a moment, just too big.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Totally amazing. Splendor in the Grass, even before Bonnie and Clyde, my parents and I went to, we were in New York City, and I think we went to Radio City Music Hall, saw the Rockettes, and saw Splendor in the Grass with him and I think maybe Natalie Wood.

• 1:18:56Conan O'Brien?

  I saw the Rockettes, but I was 50 yards away. I was in shrubbery.

• 1:19:00Speaker 03

  Oh, God. Such a creep.

• 1:19:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm the only guy that watches the Rockettes from a distance. Peering through bushes.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  You can buy a ticket and be first row.

• 1:19:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, I have my own way. I like to do it.

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  It doesn't do anything for me.

• 1:19:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I gotta wait till all of them come out together into that field, and I'll be behind those shrubs over there. What? How are you gonna get them all out here? Well, we have a salt lick. We'll get them out there.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  Salt lick?

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  You lit up.

• 1:19:29Conan O'Brien?

  Look, we, I have to wrap this up.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  No, you mustn't. I beg you.

• 1:19:33Conan O'Brien?

  I beg you.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  He had a dream he expects a five-hour podcast. We can do this. It's okay.

• 1:19:37Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, we'll do it. We all need to be rehydrated. No, I just wanna, it's, my God. I wanna get the word out, and because this podcast, I'm not gonna brag, you can brag. A lot of people hear this podcast.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  Forty-three million, I believe, is the viewership, is the, what?

• 1:19:54Conan O'Brien?

  In Hawaii alone. And so what I'm saying, that's just on Maui.

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  Everybody listens five times.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I read forty-three million.

• 1:20:02Conan O'Brien?

  Very successful podcast. Not for me to say.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  Let's not fact-check that. It's forty-three million.

• 1:20:07Conan O'Brien?

  Just say, yeah, no reason to look into it. But the point is, a lot of people hear it, and so when I say Jurassic World Dominion, Jurassic World Dominion is coming out, and that you are reprising your role as Dr. Ian Malcolm, that is going to pack the theaters alone.

• 1:20:22Speaker 03

  That alone.

• 1:20:23Conan O'Brien?

  That's big.

• 1:20:23Speaker 03

  No one else would watch it otherwise.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  I appreciate you saying that. Very, because that's what they've sent me. That's what I'm representing, you know? I represent a lovely company of investors and people.

• 1:20:34Conan O'Brien?

  All right, let's not turn this into a money thing, right?

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  No, emotionally, emotionally they're invested. Colin Trevorrow, the director.

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  Steven Spielberg is still at the, at the, uh,

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Oh, he is.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Top of the pyramid. Yes, godfathering this all the way through.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  But let's be honest, you are the butts in seats of this movie.

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'm sorry, I was gonna say it. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I, that's how I felt. And as much as everyone else was spectacular, um, but you and one of the dinosaurs really, I can't remember which one, it's one of the velociraptors.

• 1:21:03Speaker 03

  The velociraptors, come on.

• 1:21:05Conan O'Brien?

  It'd be great if you got everybody back except one velociraptor held out. Like, fuck it.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  The Robert Duvall.

• 1:21:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  I was gonna say.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  Robert Duvall, godfathering.

• 1:21:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, like, fuck it. You meet my price, or I'm not showing up.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:21:19Speaker 02

  Can I just take a second to share my notes for this, uh, this episode of the podcast?

• 1:21:24Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh. Yes. Perfection erotic ideal.

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:21:28Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  That was just what today was.

• 1:21:31Speaker 03

  It really was.

• 1:21:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got to, we should do, I have, uh, we have many more hours of fun to have.

• 1:21:36Conan O'Brien?

  You have to come, you have to come back because my time with you is, is, I'm gonna be sincere, and it's hard for me to do that, uh, but you're one of my favorite people, you really are.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  Me too, me.

• 1:21:47Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, I just absolutely love talking to you, and it is, whenever we're together, whether it's been on the show or this podcast, um, it is unlike any other experience I have, and it means a lot to me. And so when I heard that, that you were gonna come in and inaugurate our new studio, uh, my head blew up. It exploded.

• 1:22:06Speaker 01

  Well, me too. I've been looking forward to this terrifically, and, uh, these are my favorite, these are peak experiences for me. And people come up to me on the street anecdotally and say, "You and Conan, you and Conan, you and Conan."

• 1:22:18Conan O'Brien?

  See, we gotta do something.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  They do. Well, I think so too.

• 1:22:21Conan O'Brien?

  I've been screen tested, and apparently it's not good. Uh, it won't be a film, but maybe an animated project. Something where my face is mostly hidden.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  And you're singing authentically a lot. I like that. Um, the, um, and I just saw a, um, a documentary about, or some kind of thing about talk show, the history of talk shows and the current, did you see this one? There are many of them.

• 1:22:45Conan O'Brien?

  I don't watch those.

• 1:22:45Speaker 01

  I love them all. And this one particularly said, "Here's why amongst the current..." crop in the last, in the last few decades, Conan O'Brien reigns supreme. He's cracked the code and why he's at the pinnacle of what this needs to be right now, et cetera, et cetera.

• 1:23:03Conan O'Brien?

  Well.

• 1:23:04Speaker 03

  Are you uncomfortable?

• 1:23:06Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't believe that that exists.

• 1:23:08Speaker 02

  They're talking about this Conan O'Brien?

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  He makes a, and he makes a, he tells you why.

• 1:23:12Conan O'Brien?

  It's an Irish Conan O'Brien.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  This guy makes a very good case for exactly why. It's a very erudite and.

• 1:23:17Conan O'Brien?

  There is a guy named Conrad Orion in Dublin who's huge and he's really cracked the code.

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  That's very cool.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  Well, it's true. It's true. It's true.

• 1:23:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Jeff.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  And you all together. I mean, I'm really starstruck with all of you.

• 1:23:29Speaker 02

  Oh, come on.

• 1:23:31Speaker 03

  Stop it. You pronounced my name right.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  I, I, there should be a, a perfume, not obsession, but Mofssessian.

• 1:23:40Conan O'Brien?

  I'm wearing the new, Mofssessian.

• 1:23:42Speaker 03

  What do you, like, it's gonna smell like garlic.

• 1:23:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I was gonna say.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  And Gourley, and Gourley. Is it, what's, how do you say, what's that vowel exactly? Is it?

• 1:23:52Speaker 02

  Gore.

• 1:23:52Speaker 01

  Gore, like gore, like gore.

• 1:23:54Conan O'Brien?

  Gourley.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  Gourley.

• 1:23:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, although when I went to Ireland, they said it's girly.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  Ah, girly.

• 1:23:59Speaker 03

  Is he really?

• 1:24:00Conan O'Brien?

  Well, they were just saying, you seem kinda girly.

• 1:24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:24:04Conan O'Brien?

  You seem girly to me.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  I said it's garlic. He goes, no, it's girly.

• 1:24:10Conan O'Brien?

  We saw you walking down the street and it was girly.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  Well, you two, you three have made me very, very happy for many hours and will continue to be.

• 1:24:17Conan O'Brien?

  You have delighted us and you're coming back.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  I want you, I, I want you, along with, you know, I've seen every single Schlansky.

• 1:24:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  Every single Schlansky.

• 1:24:28Conan O'Brien?

  No, we.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  I laugh out loud over and over again. I see them multiple times.

• 1:24:32Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, and it's all true. That's the one thing. I've been in, I've been in the darkest regions, darkest, most remote corners of the world and people will literally come out from behind a rock and say, Schlansky.

• 1:24:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:44Conan O'Brien?

  Is he being real?

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:24:46Conan O'Brien?

  And I'll go, yes, he's being real. And then they go back under the rock.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  You're, you're never funnier when, when, when he's driving you mad. It's just great.

• 1:24:53Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  Well, anyway.

• 1:24:54Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get him back.

• 1:24:55Speaker 01

  You know what? I could go on.

• 1:24:56Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, Mr. Goldblum, Mr. Jeff Goldblum, you're the finest man that ever lived.

• 1:25:00Speaker 01

  Conan Christopher O'Brien.

• 1:25:01Conan O'Brien?

  My God.

• 1:25:02Speaker 01

  Yes, you are the finest man that's ever lived.

• 1:25:05Speaker 03

  No, you're better. Sorry.

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  You're better.

• 1:25:07Conan O'Brien?

  I'm taking you to a Sizzler. We're going.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  Let's go. Langustino. Langustinos.

• 1:25:14Conan O'Brien?

  Goodbye.

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  Goodbye.

• 1:25:16Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:25:22Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 1:25:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 1:25:25Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:25:40Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 1:25:53Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 1:26:12Speaker 03

  Hello!

• 1:26:13Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 1:26:46Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 1:26:51Speaker 03

  My kids.

• 1:26:51Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you gotta get them your stuff.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Or my dog.

• 1:26:53Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 1:27:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get a head start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 1:27:41Conan O'Brien?

  Earth can be a lot. There's gravity, there's mosquitoes.

• 1:27:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Conan O'Brien?

  And a sun that will gulf us in about 5 billion years, give or take.

• 1:27:48Speaker 03

  Oh, good.

• 1:27:48Conan O'Brien?

  It is going to eventually incinerate us, the sun, but we've got 5 billion years.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  Okay, that's time.

• 1:27:52Conan O'Brien?

  Cosmically speaking, you're under break, so escape to Pluto TV.

• 1:27:56Speaker 03

  That's where this was going.

• 1:27:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yep, I knew the second I saw, the minute I saw the sun exploding and incinerating us, I knew this was going to Pluto TV. Turn off your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy to Dirty Dancing, from Alias to The X-Files, no subscription, no fees, zero dollars. When that sun's pulsating and burning you up, you've got the best thing on TV. And the best things on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.

• 1:28:30Conan O'Brien?

  We have to just take a second here and wallow in the joyousness of Jeff Goldblum. And we never do this, we talk to the guests, then we move on with matters, but Jeff Goldblum came in here, he is a, just an energy field. He is calming, but also enervating at the same time. He, you know, he electrifies, solidifies, there's no compromise, I have real nice thighs. He's, he's, no, no, he's incredible, he does it, he's, he's one of my, I gotta say. And, and I was really looking forward to seeing him today, and then to see how happy he was to see you, Matt Gourley, and you, Sonam of Sessi, and he knew you as people.

• 1:29:13Speaker 03

  As human beings.

• 1:29:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and, you know, a lot of celebrities, they come in and they're like, "Oh my God, it's Conan, it's Conan, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

• 1:29:20Speaker 03

  Never heard that, I've never heard anybody say, "Oh my God, it's Conan."

• 1:29:23Conan O'Brien?

  I know, I keep trying to get them to say it.

• 1:29:25Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:29:26Conan O'Brien?

  I have a cue card I hold up.

• 1:29:27Speaker 02

  I think Kato Kaelin was the only one.

• 1:29:29Conan O'Brien?

  Kato Kaelin was, said it, yeah, but he was testifying. But, no.

• 1:29:34Speaker 02

  But.

• 1:29:36Speaker 03

  That's not funny.

• 1:29:38Speaker 02

  But anyway, no. Please murder. When time passes, murders are okay.

• 1:29:41Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  Uh, to laugh about. Anyway, my point is that, uh, you know, he saw me as a human being, not as some godlike creature. And, uh, and he was so thrilled to see you guys as well. Oh, man. He's a human electrolyte. He just gives you energy, like you were saying. And he, and we know that he listens to all these segments and stuff. So this is as much for him.

• 1:30:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:03Speaker 02

  How much we loved him. Jeff, we absolutely love you. We know that he is, he is, he listens to the podcast. Um, so unless he's an incredible con artist who paid someone to listen, because he said, I can't, I, I, I can't listen to that crap. Oh, oh, no, no. No, he, he, unless he paid someone to listen and take notes. Put a test in there. Jeff, if you're listening this to prove it, come over to my house and watch some James Bond movies with me.

• 1:30:26Speaker 03

  Oh, Nat, that got sad quick.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  Just please come over.

• 1:30:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. Okay, that's better.

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  Do you have friends? Oh, God, no. You don't? No, not a one. That just occurred to me. I don't know if you have friends and you have people that you podcast with and you shuttle from place to place, uh, podcasting with people you may not really know well on a human level. But do you have friends that come over and do the things that you like to do? Yeah, I'm a human being. Well, I don't know. I've never heard you reference a friend.

• 1:30:53Speaker 03

  Do you really think he didn't have any friends?

• 1:30:55Speaker 02

  I don't know. I, you know that I have friends. Well, now Jeff Goldblum is my friend. So I do have a friend.

• 1:31:00Speaker 03

  Oh, well, now I'm, now I'm not sure either.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  You're not sure?

• 1:31:05Speaker 02

  Jeff, come on, let's prove these, these knuckleheads wrong. Your friends are all people you saw on TV and movie when you were kids in your mind. I'm ET. Yeah, last night I had dinner with Gumby. Gumby? This is supposed to be a Jeff Goldblum praise session.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. I love him so much.

• 1:31:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:22Speaker 03

  He doesn't have to know who we are, me and Matt, and he does. And that says a lot about him.

• 1:31:26Speaker 02

  Let me ask you a question.

• 1:31:27Conan O'Brien?

  Ladies love that man.

• 1:31:29Speaker 03

  Love him.

• 1:31:30Conan O'Brien?

  And I understand because, you know, again, we have a similar frame.

• 1:31:34Speaker 03

  Okay, don't do that. Don't do that.

• 1:31:36Conan O'Brien?

  I don't understand.

• 1:31:37Speaker 03

  Before you go down that road.

• 1:31:38Conan O'Brien?

  No, but what I don't understand.

• 1:31:38Speaker 03

  He said like not.

• 1:31:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, I can handle it. I can handle it. Why is it that the, that there's a fork in the road?

• 1:31:44Speaker 03

  Confidence, swagger.

• 1:31:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:46Speaker 03

  Ease.

• 1:31:47Speaker 02

  You know how like, at a time Porsche and Volkswagen had the same engine?

• 1:31:52Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  That's the difference.

• 1:31:53Speaker 03

  It's, it's also, it's like.

• 1:31:57Conan O'Brien?

  No, I can handle it. I really wanna know.

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  He is a chill person who seems very comfortable in his skin and very confident. Not that you're not, but it seems like he's been that way much longer than you have.

• 1:32:09Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, and I'm.

• 1:32:10Speaker 03

  You went through a very like awkward phase where you were like, ew, I don't like myself.

• 1:32:14Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 1:32:15Speaker 03

  Was that, that was, that was.

• 1:32:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, but what I'm saying is that it does, it does amaze me that he does have something that I wish I had, that I don't have.

• 1:32:25Speaker 02

  Oh, me too.

• 1:32:25Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and, and I'm being completely honest. He has, he does have an ease and he's always in the center. He's always centered. I think that's incredible to be centered like that all the time. And he's, he's like a tuning fork that's perfectly vibrating with the universe. And I feel like I'm a, you know, like a.

• 1:32:43Speaker 02

  You're just a fork.

• 1:32:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, like a fork.

• 1:32:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:46Conan O'Brien?

  That was eating clams, but someone didn't wash it afterwards and then it fell in some sand. And it's got some clam juice and sand on it.

• 1:32:53Speaker 02

  That's pretty good, yeah.

• 1:32:54Speaker 03

  Do you think we like him because he's nice to us?

• 1:32:57Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 1:32:58Speaker 03

  Maybe if you tried being nice to me and Matt, then we would like, mom, maybe still not then.

• 1:33:04Conan O'Brien?

  You get a paycheck, right?

• 1:33:05Speaker 03

  That's not being nice to someone.

• 1:33:07Conan O'Brien?

  You got a paycheck.

• 1:33:08Speaker 03

  I'm your employee. That doesn't mean you're nice to me.

• 1:33:11Speaker 02

  It's kinda worse because it's like you're paying her to be belligerent.

• 1:33:14Conan O'Brien?

  You.

• 1:33:15Speaker 03

  The fact that you even thought about.

• 1:33:16Conan O'Brien?

  Do you do okay with me?

• 1:33:17Speaker 03

  I do, yeah, I do.

• 1:33:18Conan O'Brien?

  Would you say that, uh, I mean, are there a lot of other people just sending you money besides me?

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  Nobody else is.

• 1:33:24Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Then I'm a good guy and I'm your friend.

• 1:33:27Speaker 03

  No, you can't do that. Doesn't that how niceness works?

• 1:33:29Speaker 02

  It's not transaction.

• 1:33:29Speaker 03

  What are we talking about?

• 1:33:30Speaker 02

  Jeff Goldblum asks nothing and gives everything. You are transactional.

• 1:33:35Conan O'Brien?

  You, you, you.

• 1:33:36Speaker 03

  Conan, you're missing the point, dude.

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  In a roundabout way, I do, yes.

• 1:33:40Conan O'Brien?

  In a roundabout way.

• 1:33:42Speaker 02

  Full disclosure.

• 1:33:42Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I didn't realize that you were just here on a voluntary basis. No, I've seen you. Driving, since the podcast blew up and suddenly you're driving a Bentley.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:33:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you're driving a Bentley on, you know, just on Hollywood Boulevard.

• 1:33:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:56Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and.

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  Classic girls.

• 1:33:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and, and whoa, your license plate suddenly Pod King?

• 1:34:02Conan O'Brien?

  And you're driving around? You guys have both.

• 1:34:05Speaker 02

  Pod King is seven letters.

• 1:34:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:07Speaker 03

  We say.

• 1:34:07Conan O'Brien?

  And your kids wear these like crazy satin outfits that you have handmade for them now that the podcast blew up. And so both of you have, your lives have been changed by knowing me, which means you have to like me. You have to.

• 1:34:20Speaker 03

  You know that's not how it works.

• 1:34:22Conan O'Brien?

  It should work that way.

• 1:34:23Speaker 02

  You can't buy friendship.

• 1:34:24Speaker 03

  That's not how it works.

• 1:34:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you can.

• 1:34:25Speaker 02

  No, you can't.

• 1:34:26Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I moved to Los Angeles.

• 1:34:27Speaker 02

  You can.

• 1:34:28Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 1:34:29Speaker 02

  You can. Sona and I are friends.

• 1:34:31Conan O'Brien?

  Do you think all of my friends?

• 1:34:33Speaker 03

  I genuinely like.

• 1:34:33Conan O'Brien?

  All of my friends work for me and I'm very comfortable with that because if any of them piss me off, I can terminate that friendship very easily.

• 1:34:40Speaker 03

  And you wonder why we like Jeff Goldblum more than you.

• 1:34:44Conan O'Brien?

  I still don't understand it.

• 1:34:45Speaker 03

  He's my favorite tall person and he just exudes this like sense of ease and you know what? He doesn't have to pay me for me to like him.

• 1:34:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:53Speaker 03

  And that says a lot.

• 1:34:55Conan O'Brien?

  Hmm, this is interesting. I have to look more into this.

• 1:34:57Speaker 03

  Into friendship? Into the concept of being nice?

• 1:35:02Speaker 02

  He leads with love, you lead with fear.

• 1:35:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:35:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:35:06Conan O'Brien?

  Stalin did that.

• 1:35:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:35:07Conan O'Brien?

  He controlled.

• 1:35:08Speaker 03

  Stalin.

• 1:35:09Speaker 02

  Stalin, Joseph Stalin.

• 1:35:12Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, oh, so now we're gonna rip on Joseph Stalin. You know.

• 1:35:19Conan O'Brien?

  I love how there's no sacred, there's no sacred cows anymore. Everybody gets torn down. Everybody gets torn down.

• 1:35:25Speaker 02

  Not Jeff Goldblum.

• 1:35:26Conan O'Brien?

  And now it's Joseph Stalin.

• 1:35:28Speaker 03

  Jeff Goldblum.

• 1:35:28Conan O'Brien?

  Jesus, no one's safe in this hypersensitive era.

• 1:35:32Speaker 03

  Jeff Goldblum is an angel. He's an absolute angel. Just such a sweet person.

• 1:35:37Speaker 02

  He might be an alien.

• 1:35:39Conan O'Brien?

  He is, you know, he is, you know, we should stick the landing on this. He is such an unusually, he's an unusual person. There's no one else quite like him. And I do have to tell you that when I, in my travels, people always bring up to me, oh my God, I love it when Jeff Goldblum is on the podcast or he's on the show. He brings an energy that immediately transforms the experience. I think we all are changed by him when we're in his, he creates like a biosphere, a Jeff Goldblum biosphere that's very enjoyable.

• 1:36:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. And he remembers everybody. He's just, he like, when he looks at you, he looks at you and he knows your name and he remembers you. And that goes a long way.

• 1:36:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but I don't, again, I have a list of all the employees. I can consult.

• 1:36:27Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 1:36:28Conan O'Brien?

  I can go to Jeff Ross. I can go to Jeff Ross now. I don't need to. All I have to do is go to Jeff Ross or Adam Sachs and say, the guy with the, you know, he's kind of a hipster and he lives in Pasadena. And they'll be like, yeah, Matt Gourley. And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, tell him I wished him a happy Christmas.

• 1:36:46Conan O'Brien?

  I gotta get out of here. My helicopter, my helicopter's waiting.

• 1:36:49Speaker 03

  It's me. Wait, what?

• 1:36:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. My helicopter's waiting.

• 1:36:55Speaker 03

  That's your helicopter?

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  God, your helicopter is ill.

• 1:37:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:03Speaker 03

  Wait, what? How does the helicopter?

• 1:37:06Conan O'Brien?

  No, but mine is different. Mine runs on pure malice.

• 1:37:12Conan O'Brien?

  It's very eco-friendly.

• 1:37:13Speaker 02

  It's also super pervy somehow.

• 1:37:19Conan O'Brien?

  Wow. Mr. Brian, you must really hate people today. We've got 600,000 miles.

• 1:37:28Conan O'Brien?

  I just get in it and put an electrode on my head.

• 1:37:33Conan O'Brien?

  Who are you mad at?

• 1:37:35Conan O'Brien?

  And it leaves a noxious cloud of just pure bad intent behind me.

• 1:37:39Speaker 02

  Metaphorically, that's what's going on here.

• 1:37:41Conan O'Brien?

  All right. Well, anyway, Jeff Goldblum, if you're listening right now.

• 1:37:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:37:46Conan O'Brien?

  Naked in the Lotus position as you, as you meditate, as he does every night. We love you.

• 1:37:52Speaker 02

  We do.

• 1:37:52Speaker 03

  We love you.

• 1:37:53Speaker 02

  See you next week at my house for James Bond.

• 1:37:56Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, let's cut it there.

• 1:38:01Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solotaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:38:24Speaker 02

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering by Will Beckton. Additional production support by Mars Melnik. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:39:04Speaker 02

  This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.

• 1:39:17Speaker 06

  Hey, that's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the Claw. White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Seltzer, work Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:39:48Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right? Yep. Well, did you know Alka Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka Seltzer Cold? Ooh. Did you know that, David? No, but I feel like we need it. Why didn't you know that, David? I know, you expect me to- Know everything. I knew this. Did you? Yeah, I've tried it. It's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka Seltzer Cold, fast dissolves tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action. Ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka Seltzer Cold, nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief.

• 1:40:33Conan O'Brien?

  Among oral products used as directed.