Substack Live Re-Air: Finding Beauty in the Mundane

We’re sharing something special that was previously only for the breaker community on our Substack page: a chat Jonathan and I did with our special Substack community about what happens when we stop defining ourselves by what we do and start looking at who we actually are. We explore the profound connection between our unique souls, our internal states, and our physical health. Building on our recent conversation with Simon Sinek (world-renowned author of Start with Why and The Infinite Game), we discuss how to find your purpose by reconnecting to your “soul traits”—those inherent qualities you’ve carried since childhood. Mayim breaks down the neurophysiology of optimism, explaining how the state of our nervous system acts as the ultimate gatekeeper for our capacity to heal. In a world that often feels increasingly cynical and designed to polarize, maintaining a state of openness is a biological necessity. Jonathan explores how to find our unique purpose, highlighting how we often box ourselves into perceived limits that leave us feeling constrained and disconnected from our potential. To get more on rewriting these narratives, check out the recent Live with Mayim on Jonathan’s Practical Spirituality page https://jcstories.substack.com/p/the-3-stories-shaping-your-life. Drawing on the wisdom of Michael Singer (The Untethered Soul), we also discuss the importance of “not fighting the universe”—dropping the internal resistance to what is happening so we can trigger biological responses that facilitate healing, even on a global scale. “Optimism is believing that even in a dark tunnel, there’s light at the end.” It is about holding space for the belief that peace and reconciliation are possible, regardless of current suffering. This Live also covers: - The “Junk Room” Metaphor: How to identify the mental clutter and limiting stories that keep you feeling disconnected from your true potential. - Biology vs. Belief: How to clear the “energetic residue” of stress to allow your body to move from survival mode into recovery. - Finding Beauty in the Mundane: The power in finding the awe and wonder hidden in your daily routine. Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://www.bialikbreakdown.com/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/mayimbialik%E2%81%A0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices https://megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Mayim Bialik?

  Hi, I'm Mayim Bialik.

• 0:04Jonathan Cohen?

  And I'm Jonathan Cohen.

• 0:06Mayim Bialik?

  And welcome to our Breakdown. Today, we're going to share a conversation that was previously only available for the Breaker community on our Substack page. It's a conversation that Jonathan and I had, which turned into a whole episode about what happens when we stop defining ourselves by what we do and start looking at who we actually are. Here's some of the stuff we tackle in this episode.

• 0:29Jonathan Cohen?

  We talk about the connection between our unique souls, our internal state, and our physical health, how all of those are actually connected. We also cover how to find our unique purpose by reconnecting with our soul's traits. These are inherent qualities that we have carried ever since we were children.

• 0:49Mayim Bialik?

  I struggle with openness, and we talk about why maintaining a state of openness is actually a biological necessity. We also talk about our unique purpose, something Jonathan is kind of an expert on. Where do we box ourselves in with old stories, perceived limitations that can leave us feeling constrained and disconnected from our true potential?

• 1:11Jonathan Cohen?

  Also, one of the most powerful practices that keeps getting spoken about is the idea of finding awe and wonder in hidden ways throughout your day or even your week, and how that can change your mental health and even your physical health.

• 1:27Mayim Bialik?

  We hope this episode gives you a sense of awe and wonder. And if you want to hear these conversations before we even air them anywhere else, please make sure to join our Substack community. That's Mayim Bialik's Breakdown on Substack. You can go to bialikbreakdown.substack.com. Please join us over there. We hope you enjoy this incredible episode, and we hope to see you over on Substack.

• 1:50Jonathan Cohen?

  If you have to describe yourself as who you are at your core that is not related to the things that you do for a living, what would it be? How do we define ourselves? How do we actually find out who we are in a way that is not, hey, I do X for a living? It's not that I am an accountant. So I'll give you an example. My father, who is an accountant.

• 2:13Mayim Bialik?

  Yes.

• 2:14Jonathan Cohen?

  I would not say that he is an accountant. He may say that he is an accountant, but actually, what I think he is, is a man who loved systems and organization.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  He loves to find the best way to do something. That's actually who he is at the core. And no matter what he would have done for a living, he would have brought that aspect of himself to that job.

• 2:38Mayim Bialik?

  Okay, so think about all the things you've ever done in your life that you've been good at, that you've enjoyed, or that you've felt drawn to. What is the thing that is uniquely you? Even if you're an identical twin, what's the thing that is uniquely you about all of those things? It's actually, it's a great question when framed that way. I will say that my experience, when I got to direct a movie for the first time, which I did a few years ago, I felt like pretty much every single aspect of all the things about me were contained in one place. And that's not to say that, oh, God put me on this planet to be a director. But I'm very persnickety.

• 3:24Mayim Bialik?

  I'm very particular. I'm very tuned into details. And I'm deeply emotionally wired. So for me, storytelling and crafting a visual image that conveyed an emotional concept in a way that required specificity, list making, task orienting, and being able to manage the personalities around that. I was like, yeah, that feels like the skill set, right? That I was supposed to have. So what was, what's me about it? My friend Emu, who actually helped me start the YouTube channel that, that we all use and know and love, he said, "I find beauty in the mundane."

• 4:07Mayim Bialik?

  And he feels that that's something I do when I'm a human, when I'm a mom, when I'm a writer, when I'm a creator. He felt that that's like my superpower. I mean, I guess you can use it in a lot of different ways. You know, I use it interpersonally. When I see people picking up trash on the street, when I see, you know, I want to connect with those people, right? I want to have an experience of connection in a situation that otherwise might be mundane. There always is purpose. There always is beauty. Maybe that's what I'm, that's, that's the me, right?

• 4:39Speaker 02

  I would actually even connect that to your scientific pursuits, which is helping people understand things brings a beauty into something that may feel inaccessible. It may not even just be the mundane that you create and find beauty in. You find beauty in ways of the intricacy of our biology, the way in which our psychology is constructed, our spiritual lives. You, by unpacking it and looking at it in a certain way, you find a beauty in it and an awe and a wonder. I actually say, spending time with you is partly so amazing because you have a sense of awe and excitement about things that other people don't.

• 5:21Mayim Bialik?

  What's the you, Jonathan, that is throughout everything you do, besides being adorable and clever?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Well, I've been like that ever since I was young. My grandmother told me.

• 5:34Mayim Bialik?

  Is that right?

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, my grandmother was very loving and was a very loving force in my life. I had a conversation recently with a very old friend. I played hockey with him when I was six years old.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  I was playing competitive hockey at a young age and

• 5:51Mayim Bialik?

  Like you do.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  He and I went to went to fourth grade together and he said to me, he's like, the one of the great things about hanging out with you, you were always looking to get into a little mischief, you were always looking to push the edges and the boundaries, you were constantly experimenting and like when I hung out with you, I never knew what might happen.

• 6:12Mayim Bialik?

  You're an adventurer. That's really the question you're asking. 10,000 years ago, who were you? If you place yourself 10,000 years ago, what purpose did you serve in the function of common humanity? So you're an adventurer.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  I had, I have a great, either a great grandfather or a great, great grandfather who left Poland at 10 years old and made his way to the UK, smuggled himself onto a passenger ship and came to Canada. There is an element of trying to explain things that are somewhat unexplainable. That that is part, like as a very young age, I can remember feeling like this overwhelming sense of curiosity and imagination and trying to translate that into a way that people could understand and share.

• 7:01Mayim Bialik?

  Okay, so if I'm gonna link those things, because I really like this game. You are very resourceful. You're very resourceful. You're very scrappy. And I would hold that those, that ability to make meaning out of meaningless things, to find explanation in inexplicable things. To me, that's the same skill that allows one to leave the village therefrom and freaking get it together to survive and get yourself on a boat to live. Like, is that the same, you know, Cohen's skill set, right?

• 7:40Speaker 02

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna add one piece to this and then I'm gonna land this plane back to Simon Sinek and to everyone listening.

• 7:47Mayim Bialik?

  Right now, you're circling Newark, as we say.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  The other thing that I think is related to this is always believing that there is something else that's available outside of the current constraints.

• 8:00Mayim Bialik?

  Same story. That's survival.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Same story. When I was in Toronto, we were building a media team and the office literally had no space for us. And that didn't make sense to me. Like, we had a-

• 8:13Mayim Bialik?

  So you said, "Let's go into another portal of consciousness and there's rooms for everyone."

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Correct. Because here's the thing, it was an open office and everyone was getting super annoyed because editing is sometimes a collaborative experience and there were, and like, you need to like have multiple people listening. And there's a video that, that's online. It's so funny. It's like the girlfriend of an editor or the boyfriend of an editor, where you hear them dragging the marker over and over. It's like, hello, hello, hello. Because they're trying to get the cut just right. And so if you've never edited a video, it's a wildly annoying activity to anyone else who's listening to you. And we have a whole team of editors at, on a floor of other people.

• 8:53Mayim Bialik?

  That's literally what God is saying as God is watching us unfolding. Like, this is not a show that I'm enjoying.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Or he's loving it. We don't know. We needed a space. We needed a room. There were no rooms. No one would give us a room. What did I do? I found a room that literally had wall to wall junk in it, storage. And I started going through piece by piece, saying, this could be given away. This is all, this doesn't need to be here. And I turned a, a room that was previously condemned with junk into our office and we flourished.

• 9:31Mayim Bialik?

  And that's the metaphor for what Jonathan did for my life. He said, this is a room full of stuff that needs to be given away, resorted or redistributed. And underneath, there's a beautiful office just waiting to be utilized. If you pull back, you're still describing who Jonathan is. You're still describing someone who sees this is, there is no no. There is no no.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Almost, almost never. There's always a, this could be something else.

• 10:03Mayim Bialik?

  And I'll be like, you see this closet full of crap? I will just sit in the corner with the crap on top of me and I'll make it work.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  I will put a skylight in. I will rearrange it. You can make it beautiful. You could sleep.

• 10:16Mayim Bialik?

  That's creative. You know, your Substack page is called Practical Spirituality. I think it could be called Creative Survival.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  We talk about this notion of the soul. That we are all imbued with specific characteristics that are uniquely us. And part of our challenge in this world is that we are not connected to those aspects of ourselves. And we don't use those aspects to help us navigate a life that is truly ours. More so than ever before, we are looking from the outside to try and answer the question, who am I? What should I be? What should I do? And how do I make my way in this world? And what Simon suggests is, in fact,

• 11:05Speaker 02

  You have to answer that question by going backwards in your life to find the things that you were uniquely good at, that sparked a sense of excitement in you, that uncover these inherent characteristics that are purely you and use those to help bring yourself to life. And there are so many different ways that you can bring those to life. For you, you could have been a closet organizer, you could direct movies. There are so many ways that making beauty out of the mundane exists, and they're all uniquely you.

• 11:41Mayim Bialik?

  Simon Sinek also talked about, you know, a kind of openness that only optimism allows, only optimism allows. And I wanted to mention, you know, especially for those of you who are new, we don't typically talk really about politics. And I've sort of, I've literally stopped, you know, kind of posting about politics for the most part, you know, in the last period of time, just for a lot of mental health reasons, which I think a lot of you can probably relate to. But especially, and this is not a political conversation, this is not a partisan thing, especially in the times that we're living in, where there is at the least confusion, maybe some skepticism about where we're going, what

• 12:24Mayim Bialik?

  we're doing, what are places in the world, no matter where we live, because I know there's people here from all over the world. But the notion of optimism in this case means, no matter what, no matter what, we have to hold a place where there is hope. Peace is the only thing that can last forever, right? So when people ask me how I feel about, name a situation in the world right now where it feels critical, where our hearts are breaking, where there is suffering, where there is injustice, where we need to speak up. It's happening all over the world. I have to hold that space. This is a place where I really resonated with what Simon Sinek said. I have to hold that place where no matter how negative you are, no matter how cynical you are, no matter how much you

• 13:08Mayim Bialik?

  hate this leader or that leader or this person, there has to be a space for that hope that at some Point, we can keep working towards reconciliation, peace, love, more rights, more opening, more acceptance. I agree with him. We have to do that. My and Be Alex Breakdown is supported by Quince. You know those pieces in your closet that you reach for over and over again? That sweater that somehow works with everything? The jeans you know will always fit just right? The bag you carry everywhere? Those are the pieces that earn a permanent place in your wardrobe and that's what Quince does so well. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, premium stretch denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted,

• 13:52Mayim Bialik?

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• 14:35Mayim Bialik?

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• 14:57Speaker 02

  Talk to us a little bit about the neuroscience of what happens when we reroute away from the catastrophe, away from focusing on the negative, and recognize and hold the belief that Simon amazingly articulates, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to ask how much bad has to happen before we get there.

• 15:20Mayim Bialik?

  Well, right. I mean, can't always know the answer to that question. You know, this is like a little bit of a, as the kids say, this is like a little bit of a trigger warning for, for, for those of you who, like me, tend towards the cynical, tend towards the pessimistic, feel like we're in a hole, or that we personally are experiencing something that's putting us in a hole. So, like, short story long.

• 15:41Mayim Bialik?

  It does matter, the state that you allow your nervous system to be in, in order to determine how much optimism and healing can happen.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  You said something like, it's important, the state of your nervous system. Like, what does that mean practically to people? Explain.

• 15:59Mayim Bialik?

  We've spoken to people like Bruce Lipton here. We've even spoken to people like Joe Dispenza. We've talked about the work of Tony Robbins. We've also spoken to people who are healers, mystics, channelers. What is that? What all of these people have in common, right? Whether they're a doctor, a physician, a specialist, a healer, is that when you place yourself in a mental state of optimism, of openness, of any of those positive emotions, right? And we're speaking somewhat subjectively, but those kinds of emotions, there is physiology that science now has caught up with that for thousands of years, mystics, yogis, healers have talked about.

• 16:44Mayim Bialik?

  And what happens is there is a resonance in your body that produces the state that many new age people would call manifesting. What does it mean to visualize? Why are people telling you to do positive affirmations? Guess what, people? It's all the same. It's all the same. Can you put your nervous system in a state of more calm, more relaxation, more vagal toning, when you're told to exhale through your mouth in a yoga class to kind of get that heat out? That's the same kind of breathing that any doctor trained in nervous system regulation will encourage you to do. One of the most documented things we can do to promote healing,

• 17:26Mayim Bialik?

  a stronger immune system, and better outcomes for many challenges. Is all of this stuff, and guess what? If you want the scientific term for it, it is. It's vagus nerve regulation. It's sympathetic nervous system regulation. All of those things create cellular possibilities, immune possibilities, and literally a happier, more open state in your body with which you then can change your life. I mean, that's just the truth.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  When you're looking at something, for example, and Guy in the comments mentioned something that like is in the news right now, extremely distressing. Saying that you are optimistic does not mean that you like or accept any particular behavior or action. We can be horrified and outraged. However, what it means is that you don't go into a cycle of breaking down and spiraling into

• 18:20Mayim Bialik?

  Correct.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  society is fundamentally bad. The world is fundamentally ending. There's like, you can see how one thought quickly spirals. And those, that type of spiraling with a negative bias has a physiological impact

• 18:37Mayim Bialik?

  Correct.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  on every part of our body, even being shown to suppress and repress the immune system's ability to fight disease.

• 18:45Mayim Bialik?

  We, and we talked about this in our episode with Gabor Maté, which I highly recommend. His book, The Myth of Normal, which is kind of his opus of all of his research he's done on trauma, on addiction, on ADHD. And what he talks about is that the body places itself in different states depending on the thoughts and the behaviors that you're exhibiting. We talk about autoimmune conditions. So many women are having autoimmune diagnoses. So many women, especially in hormonal shifts in life, are experiencing autoimmune challenges. What Gabor Maté talks about is that people who tend to do a lot for other people. Often get sick more.

• 19:26Mayim Bialik?

  People who are naturally inclined to shove down their feelings and their needs in service of other people, insert women for most of human history here, those people tend to have a profile, which it's true, given the environment, given the social pressures, given all the chemicals that we're putting in our body, like those things are also, you know, accurate. That combination and that conglomeration of complexity is, is something that we can see play out with immune function, we can see it play out with autoimmune diagnoses, even with things like multiple sclerosis, we can see it in cancer. I mean, it's shocking. And also, when I say it's true, I don't mean because I said it.

• 20:08Mayim Bialik?

  I'm saying, science is finally catching up to what so many of us either intuitively knew, or if we come from an eastern tradition or an alternative health perspective, we also have been, you know, taught and know.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  This is potentially actually one of the most important conversations we are gonna have about how to program yourself to interact with the world for your well-being. Michael Singer explains, and so does Simon, that you do not have to like what's going on. You don't have to look at the person who has done something horrific and say, I accept it, or I believe that that's okay.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  What you can do is hold the possibility that that is not the end state, that it doesn't have to continue, that there's another way of being that us, as humanity, can get to.

• 21:06Mayim Bialik?

  Forgiving someone, not holding rage and resentment in your heart for even something that was done to you that is wrong, the more that we cling to that, the more that we hold on to it, it continues to punish us and not the other person. So the notion of acceptance, right, being an acceptance of what is, does not mean you like it, does not mean you approve of it, does not mean like, oh, now I have to interact with this person all the time. The notion of being able to say, something happened to me, or I was hurt, and I do not want to hold that negativity anymore, and there's many, many skilled practitioners who can help you work through that and move through that. That does not mean that you are happy about that it happened or that you hold love in your heart.

• 21:51Mayim Bialik?

  Someone said, you know, the notion of Jesus, right? Like, that sense of forgiveness and redemption is possible. It does not mean, though, that you like it or that you necessarily approve or support that.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Each one of our thoughts start to lead us into more thoughts than create this impact. So when I'm with someone and I dislike what they're doing, I have to catch myself very quickly to not go down that spiral. How could they do this? Why would they do this? They're all bad. Because as I get into that narrative, it's a very fast tangle that the mind is amazing at creating, which will then have that physiological impact on me. So how do we do that?

• 22:32Speaker 02

  We create the pause. We notice those things. We create the pause and we say, what else might be true? To give the mind the opportunity to build something else.

• 22:42Mayim Bialik?

  Okay. Also, I don't want people to presume that, like, Jonathan and I are giving you the answer in this live. The answer is a process. The answer is a conversation that you are having with yourself, the universe, and guess what? Something greater than you. I don't care if it's gravity. I don't care if it's a tree. It could really be whatever you'd like. If you want to call it God, congratulations, great, whatever. The notion that that is a process you engage in is the answer. You know, someone's like, how do I get rid of it? Many different ways. If you've got an addiction, seek the root of that addiction. If you want to figure out why you're doing something, stop doing it. If you find that you are leaning on, name the things we use to fill the God-shaped hole.

• 23:24Mayim Bialik?

  Alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, codependency, fantasy and intrigue.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Gambling.

• 23:31Mayim Bialik?

  Work.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Digital distraction of all kinds.

• 23:34Mayim Bialik?

  Digital distraction, cognitive distraction. I've found that, like, me thinking hard about things is its own distraction from, like, feeling what's happening in my body. All of those things, you get to figure out, like, what is your thing? And then how, how did the universe place you here for you to get the support you need? And that's why, literally, Jonathan and I started this podcast is because For everything that ails us, there are people who are experts. There are people who have told us what works for them and what doesn't. There are books, there are therapies. Depends on your thing. So if someone were to come to me and say, I cannot control what happens when I drink alcohol. And I don't know if I'm gonna have one drink or 65 drinks. Or I don't know where I wake up sometimes, or how I got there, and I don't like it.

• 24:18Mayim Bialik?

  There, there are ways to address the, the disease of alcoholism, right? There are ways to address that. Chances are there's fear, resentment, anger built up there. But for someone else, it's gonna be a different path. This is like the job of the simulation that we're in. Figure out what ails you. What are you trying to put in that God-shaped hole? Get to the other side of it. There's something waiting, and it may not be enlightenment. It may not be feeling the energy in your hands, as Jonathan can train us to do on his page. But it can be different than what you're in. And I do believe there is some hope, my Simon Sinek hope, that it can be better, even incrementally.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  This conversation is better than I imagined. I'm really very excited by this. The connection point here for me is that Simon is very much of this world. And yet he talks about the unique expression of each of our souls. And how we can do better in the real world by having that connection. And knowing who we are on a very deep level, which mirrors the spiritualists. I really appreciate going in this very beautiful circle. We circled Newark, but we landed the plane. I think we went to multiple airports today.

• 25:35Mayim Bialik?

  We circled Newark and many, um, and many other airports.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Been a lot of connecting flights.

• 25:42Mayim Bialik?

  Are the books behind Mayim ones that she has completed reading? You know what, Caroline Chavez? All of these books are people that we've had on the podcast. We have them color blocked, because that's a very important thing for me. I, I am a very fast reader. I'm a disproportionately fast reader and compiler of information. Jonathan calls me the robot. I would say I've writ, I've read most of these books. Valerie, now our producer Valerie is here. I think I've read most of these books.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  I'm gonna give a, uh, A consideration for the end of this live. Thank you, everyone, for being here, especially if you're new. We do these every week. Consider becoming a paid subscriber. We have an amazing team that helps us pull off all this content. There is a lot that goes in to getting this stuff out, in organizing it. And also, we, along with these lives, we release exclusive content that is here, only here, and not available anywhere else. So please consider it if you're able to.

• 26:38Mayim Bialik?

  I did want to mention, this deserves a shout out. Kristin said, "Read the Book of Life, based on your rec, so good." Deep cut, Peter Kingsley, if anybody wants to read the Book of Life and lose your mind. Also wanted to say, especially for people who are new here, there are different things you can get on our page. We do a Founder Zoom. If you'd like to become a founding member of our community, which is a commitment to support the business that creates all of the things that we do here, please join, become a founder. We do special Founder Zooms, which is like this, but much smaller. And it's just me and Jonathan on a Zoom with the founders. And we take personal questions, and it's a really fun community. So if you want more of this, and you want even like a smaller, more intimate community, please consider becoming one of our founders.

• 27:21Mayim Bialik?

  And our company really appreciates all the support we get from Substack. So anyway, oh, do I have a recommended book list? Don't get me started, Bethany. Maybe for another time.