841. Q&AF: How To Be Efficient, Humility Vs. Ego & Overwhelmed By Fear Of Failure

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to learn to break the habit of procrastination to be more efficient with your time, understanding the real meaning of ego and humility to level up in life, and how to get rid of the fear of failure when planning to take action for your big dreams.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions in modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is- Guys, email these questions into [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube, drop your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Other times throughout the week, like tomorrow, we're gonna have Cruise the Internet. We call that CTI. That's where we put topics on the screen, we speculate on what's true and what's not true, and we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're gonna have Real Talk. Real Talk is

• 1:00Andy Frisella?

  just five, 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then we're gonna have 75 Hard Verses. That is where people who have completed the 75 Hard program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard program to get everything back on track. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. Live Hard is the world's most popular mental transformation program, and there's also a book on it. You can get it at andyfrisella.com called The Book of Mental Toughness. It gives you the

• 1:43Andy Frisella?

  whole Live Hard program comprehensively. If you're one of those people that likes the ins and outs and all the details, I'd highly recommend it. Plus, it has a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, and how you can use it to build the ultimate life. Alright, we do have a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. We ask that you share the show. I'm not gonna fill your ears with 30 minutes worth of ads. Alright, we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't take ads. I don't want to listen to people tell me what I can and can't say. We try to keep it real. So if we're gonna keep keeping it real, I need you to help us grow the show. All right, that means tell someone if the show is good, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. If you learned something, if it's something you think people need to hear,

• 2:29Andy Frisella?

  uh, don't be a hoe.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. What's up?

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Hey, good morning.

• 2:34Andy Frisella?

  What's going on?

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Oh, nothing much. We're energized.

• 2:36Andy Frisella?

  You got a little whiskey in your cup over there?

• 2:38Speaker 01

  No, no, this is a great cup, though.

• 2:40Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Um, I stole this one a few years ago. Um.

• 2:44Andy Frisella?

  I could tell it's old because of the logo.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's old, man. This is OG shit, man.

• 2:47Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  It's OG right here.

• 2:48Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Hey, uh, did you happen to see the hockey game last night?

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 2:53Andy Frisella?

  Did you, did you watch it?

• 2:54Speaker 01

  I've, I've seen the clips. You know, I'm not a big hockey guy.

• 2:57Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, I, I guessed.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Makes sense.

• 2:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Um, but, but I did see it.

• 3:03Andy Frisella?

  Bro.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  I've been seeing clips.

• 3:04Andy Frisella?

  Bro, so if you missed it, uh, Team USA beat the shit out of, uh, Team 51st State and Governor Trudeau. You know, I think they're mad. They were mad about it.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Well, you know how it started, right?

• 3:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, they booed, they booed their own national anthem.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  They booed ours.

• 3:21Andy Frisella?

  No, theirs.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Oh, they booed theirs.

• 3:23Andy Frisella?

  That's, no, they, that's gonna be theirs soon.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Oh, I see.

• 3:27Andy Frisella?

  Cause it's ours, so it's gonna be theirs and they're booing it. Like, what are you guys doing?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  And bro, like, three seconds in, the puck drops. I'll help break loose.

• 3:36Andy Frisella?

  Hey, man, we'll beat your ass. That's just it. We'll beat your ass.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  It's great. And then we'll beat them three to one.

• 3:42Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's great.

• 3:44Andy Frisella?

  I know. We'll beat your ass.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  On your own turf.

• 3:49Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  That's right, man. No, it was great. Uh, I've been seeing the clips, man. I like hockey. I'm just, I've never been.

• 3:54Andy Frisella?

  Bro, hockey, you've never been to a game?

• 3:55Speaker 01

  I've been to one, two games in my life.

• 3:58Andy Frisella?

  Bro, hockey is the best sport to watch live.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:01Andy Frisella?

  No question. Playoff hockey is completely different.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Dude, I remember my first game, um, it was a hat trick and everybody throws shit on the ice.

• 4:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  I was like, I didn't know what was happening.

• 4:12Andy Frisella?

  What'd you throw?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  I didn't throw anything. I was about to go down and pick the shit up.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  I'm like, what, what's happening? Why are they fucking up? But then like, it's a cool culture.

• 4:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  It's cool, man. I just, I don't really understand like the whole rule of it, obviously. I mean, yes, like get the puck in, in the goal, right? Score the touchdown.

• 4:28Andy Frisella?

  That's pretty much it.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 4:30Andy Frisella?

  So, um.

• 4:33Andy Frisella?

  I would have a hard time throwing a hat on the ice during a hat trick. Cause hats take a while to break in and get right. And once you get them right, like you're gonna throw it on the ice.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got to, you got to throw one you don't care about.

• 4:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  But then I'm like, how do they even get these in?

• 4:48Andy Frisella?

  No, it's off their head.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Oh, that's okay.

• 4:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I'm just saying, I don't think I would do it.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, damn.

• 4:54Andy Frisella?

  But I enjoyed watching Governor Trudeau and his team take the L. Now, we might have to play him again, so I might, I might have to eat some, eat some shit.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe.

• 5:03Andy Frisella?

  But not today.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got, hey, listen, they did it.

• 5:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  They did it, man.

• 5:07Andy Frisella?

  You better learn how to sing this song.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Dude, we have a great national anthem, actually.

• 5:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's better than theirs.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  It's better than pretty much everybody's, honestly. I think.

• 5:16Andy Frisella?

  America's better than everybody. That's what it is.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 5:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  The, uh, the only national anthem I think that can even compete is, is the French national anthem.

• 5:23Andy Frisella?

  Oh, really?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, the French one's pretty good.

• 5:25Andy Frisella?

  Is it?

• 5:25Speaker 01

  It's pretty good.

• 5:26Andy Frisella?

  I don't think so.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, you know, teach us all. Guys. Andy?

• 5:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we're gonna get better or what?

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Let's get better today. Why, why not today?

• 5:37Andy Frisella?

  We could, today's the day.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 5:39Andy Frisella?

  Today should be the day that you look back many years from now and be like, that's the day.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  It was today.

• 5:45Andy Frisella?

  That everything changed. You know what I'm saying?

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Well, let's do it, man. Let's see how we can make people better today, guys. Andy, I got three good ones for you, man.

• 5:53Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Guys, any question? Number one, Andy. Uh, very simple question here. Andy, I've always been a chronic procrastinator. And it's starting to affect my career. I get so overwhelmed by big projects that I just keep putting them off. How can I break this habit and learn to manage my time better? Very simple question.

• 6:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, I, most people struggle with this at some point in their life, you know? It comes down to, uh, understanding and recognizing when our internal dialogue is talking us out of the things that we need to do. All right, that's the point of the 75 hard program and the live hard program is to teach you to understand your internal dialogue and become in control of what are seemingly uncontrollable choices in our life. And

• 6:45Andy Frisella?

  When we think about what we have going on inside when it comes time to do something that we know we need to do, but we don't want to do, we all have a dialogue and I call that dialogue, your bitch voice and your boss voice. It's kind of like in those cartoons where you see a little angel on one side and a little devil on the other side, right? And the bitch voice would be the devil, the boss voice would be the angel. And we all know what we're supposed to do, but we don't want to do it. And a lot of times because we become chronically used to procrastinating, we easily listen to the bitch voice and we don't even hear the boss voice. We don't even hear it. So these voices become louder or more quiet depending on which one we feed through our

• 7:30Andy Frisella?

  actions. And so that's why, you know, it's, I think it's very important for anyone who wants to, you know, who's ambitious, who wants to, you know, become a successful person to understand how to make the choices that you need to make when you don't feel like doing it, which is discipline. That's what we talk about and discipline, grit, fortitude, perseverance, self-esteem, self-confidence, all of these things are intertwined and develop no different than a muscle. All right. You go train your muscle, your muscle gets bigger and stronger. You go train your mind by doing things that you don't feel like doing, that part of your brain actually

• 8:12Andy Frisella?

  gets tougher and bigger. And there's actually science that shows that that is a physical, physiological reality inside of your brain. Andrew Huberman talks about this a lot. So we have to understand that our mental strength is no different than anything else that we practice or train or, you know, try to get better at. At first it's going to be hard and as you go, it's going to get easier and easier and easier until it's automatic. And that's where we want to be because it's not that we don't know what to do. We all know what to do. We all know how to be in shape. We all know you gotta work out and, you know, eat good food and eat less.

• 8:54Andy Frisella?

  Uh, then you burn if you're fat, eat more than you burn if you're skinny. I mean, these are very simple things. Drink water, eat protein. Uh, you know, we know how to be productive at our careers and at our jobs if we want to. We might pretend we don't know, but you fucking know. All right? So how do we get ourselves in a situation where we can lay out any plan in front of us? And execute the plan because ultimately, most people don't win in life. Uh, because they, they lack the ability to adhere to a plan. So if you can condition your mind to adhere to a plan, AKA stop procrastinating, not listening to the bitch voice. What is it that you cannot achieve?

• 9:37Andy Frisella?

  And the answer is nothing because if you execute day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out. Even if you're 400 pounds right now and you wanted to climb Mount Everest, you could get there. Now you're gonna have to lose weight. You're gonna have to condition yourself. You're gonna have to go through the plan of how you're gonna do all that. But you can, and it's reality. So I am a firm believer that most of us can do anything we want to do. And are there physical limitations? Am I gonna be able to 360 dunk? Probably not, but most things we would want to do, build a business, build a career, have a good income, do some cool shit, be active, be in shape, look good, feel good. Be proud of us. All these things are easily accomplished when we become aware of our internal dialogue.

• 10:21Andy Frisella?

  And we learn to listen to the correct internal dialogue. So when you want to stop procrastinating. This comes down to the very simple idea of

• 10:34Andy Frisella?

  what voice is louder right now? And the voice that's loud for you right now is the bitch voice. And you have to become aware of the other dialogue, which may be very quiet right now. You might have to listen very closely to hear it. But once you start listening and obeying that dialogue, it gets louder and louder and louder and the bitch dialogue gets lower and lower and lower. So how do we do this? We do this through forced action in the beginning. So when you get home from work and you know you have to train. And you have to, uh, you know, you're already tired, bro. You had a rough day. You, you, you, work was tough. We all have tough days at work. It was stressful. It was hard. I'm tired. Uh, I didn't get to eat what I wanted to eat. Uh, we have all the excuses in the world. I got in

• 11:18Andy Frisella?

  a fight with my wife or my husband, all the excuses. And you sit down on the couch and you start saying, man, I deserve this. You need to tune that voice out and you need to ask yourself, what am I supposed to be doing right now? And the minute that you hear the answer to that question, you have to get up and go do the thing. All right. Like if you're doing 75 hard and you get home, it's 10 o'clock at night and you're like, fuck, I didn't get my 45 minutes of cardio in. And you start saying, well, you know, like dude, immediately get the fuck up, put your shoes on and go do it. And taking immediate action, forcing yourself to take immediate action will

• 11:59Andy Frisella?

  eventually lead to less and less and less effort to create a scenario where that action can be taken. So the first time you do it's gonna suck. The second time you do it, it's gonna suck less. The third time you do it, the fourth time you do it, the 100th time you do it, it's gonna be automatic. And that is where we want to get our minds, bro. Our mindset is the key to our success in all areas of life. And we are told through victim culture, through this overly accepting culture that mediocrity and performing less than what we can be and living a life that's

• 12:39Andy Frisella?

  less than what we can be is somehow okay. And it's not, it's not okay. It's not okay for a number of reasons. One, you have people in your life that look up to you. You have people in your life that are gonna either win or lose because of the actions that you take. And if you show them that it's okay to be, you know, way less than what you could be, they're gonna be way less than what they could be. And that has an impact on society, on culture, on this country. So you cannot say that you are a patriotic American. If you are not living the standard to what you think American individuals should live to. Not saying anything other than that, you cannot be a patriot. You cannot be patriotic American and live less than what you are supposed to do.

• 13:24Andy Frisella?

  We have an obligation to do that. We have people, including people in my family and probably yours too, who have either been injured or been killed or laid down their life for us to have the opportunity to be great. And if we're not taking advantage of that opportunity and we're saying, well, freedom means I can just float through life. That's not what the fuck these dudes died for. That's not what these people sacrificed for. And quite honestly, I think you're letting down, you know, everybody around you. And that's one reason. Another reason, you know, a lot of people right now, it's real popular to claim their Christianity, which is great. And to talk about God, which is great.

• 14:07Andy Frisella?

  But there's also a lot of people that, you know, don't live to the standard that, you know, we've been blessed and able to have the opportunity to live. Do you think that's being a good Christian? Do you think that's being good to God? It's not, okay? A lot of misinterpretations of the Bible exist. And people use the idea of humility and meekness to not go out and achieve the things that they want to achieve. All right? If you had a son or a daughter, would you want your son or daughter to live less than what they could be? To have a life that represents far less than the potential that you actually created for them? No, you wouldn't. You would be ashamed of them. And God is too.

• 14:49Andy Frisella?

  So when you sit there and say, oh, I'm humble and I'm meek and I don't want to do anything. And I want to sit on the couch and you want to fucking eat chips and be fat and be lazy and not achieve anything, not contribute to anything, not build anything, not become anything. You're letting down your obligation, not only to the United States of America and all these people, but you're letting your obligation down to God as far as I'm concerned. So there's a lot of reasons why it's important that we get control of our ability to adhere to a plan. To control our inner dialogue, to have discipline, to build grit, perseverance, fortitude, and, and become proud of ourselves because it shows other people how to do the same.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Well, I wanna, I, I love this topic. I wanna, I wanna ask you this because, and you've said this, you know, many of times, uh, me, you said it to the podcast, right? Like, you're naturally a lazy person. Fair?

• 15:39Andy Frisella?

  Very fair.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Okay. Uh, I just don't want people to think I'm talking shit like you.

• 15:42Andy Frisella?

  No, it's very fair.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  It's a true thing, right? Like, and, and it's work, right? And I think a lot of people.

• 15:46Andy Frisella?

  You don't get to 350 pounds without being a lazy fuck.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:50Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Right. Same. I get it. Right? I think the thing is though, like, you know, it's very easy for people to say, I want this result, but I don't want that work.

• 16:00Andy Frisella?

  Well, then they're not gonna get the result.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Well, I, I think.

• 16:02Andy Frisella?

  That's entitlement, bro.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but.

• 16:05Andy Frisella?

  Go ahead.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  No, I, I think too, it's like for a lot of people, achieving success, achieving that dream body, achieving, you know, that, that new job, that new position, the new promotion, it can seem, the work can seem overwhelming, right? And so when you are a lazy person, naturally, whatever the case is, how do you strategically tackle this to make it to where it's not this overwhelming thing?

• 16:29Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, uh, it doesn't matter if you feel overwhelmed. Like, it doesn't matter if you're frustrated. It doesn't matter if you're mad. It doesn't matter if you're bitter. It doesn't matter, doesn't matter if you don't feel like it. It doesn't matter. Those things do not matter. It doesn't matter if your friends don't believe in you. It doesn't matter if your parents don't believe in you. These things do not matter. How you feel does not matter in the equation of building a life. Okay? What you do matters, and that is it. So, if you say, I wanna go out and I wanna do these big things, but the work is overwhelming, then you have to go out, you have to decide what it's gonna take to get to where you wanna go. You break it down from where you wanna go backwards to where you are, and you make a plan that you execute on every day.

• 17:14Andy Frisella?

  And if you get yourself in a position where you can adhere to a plan, what the fuck can you not achieve? And the answer is, you can achieve anything. There's nothing that can stop you. All right? So. Where do you want to go? Where are you? Reverse engineer the plan. Execute the plan forward by creating a scenario where you're able to execute on the things that may overwhelm you or may frustrate you. Or, you know, uh, you know, all the things that we deal, everybody deals with this, by the way, and we need to understand this. The people that you admire, the people you look at, the people who achieve all these amazing things. All of those people along the way have been frustrated a lot, have been angry a lot,

• 17:59Andy Frisella?

  have felt demoralized a lot, have felt overwhelmed probably the whole time. Okay? Greatness and achievement are not fucking free. They're not free. They come with a price, but all of those things are feelings. They're not actions. And in the real world, actions produce the result, not how you feel about it. We live in a society right now where people think their feelings fucking matter and their feelings just don't matter on the end result. So you have to learn to operate in spite of those feelings. And if you do, you will move forward when everybody else, when they feel overwhelmed and they feel frustrated and they're tired, they'll stop and you'll keep going. And that's how you get where you want to go.

• 18:43Andy Frisella?

  And, and honestly, that's how you beat everybody that's competing with you for, for the same position and they are. There's millions of people out there that want to do the same shit that you want to do. And, you know, everybody says abundance mentality. That's cool. I, I get it. I want everybody to win. I, I don't get jealous of people winning. I think it's an amazing thing. However, the reality is there are limited seats at the table and you cannot argue that. It is fact. How many people are at here at the top versus how many people are at the bottom? It's a massive difference. So statistically speaking, there are limited amounts of spots here and unlimited amounts of spots being at the bottom.

• 19:25Andy Frisella?

  And you want to work your way to one of those limited spots and you have to be competitive. You have to understand that there's a timeline. You have to have a plan and you have to be able to execute the plan whether you feel like it or not. I mean, dude, look, if you need help with this, there's a tool called the power list. All right. I developed this tool fucking 20 years ago. So that I could be productive day in and day out. We're not talking about hundreds of things a day. We're talking about five simple, critical tasks that you do every day. And not only does this help you be productive and get things done, whether you feel like it or not. It gives you an even pace of moving forward. Every time you complete your powerless, you get confidence.

• 20:07Andy Frisella?

  Every time you don't feel like it and you execute on it anyway, you're still moving forward. And it's a great tool to allow you to live your life and have free time. We have all these knuckleheads on the internet telling people they got to work 50 hours out of 24. That's not true. You just have to be effective. So if you want to learn that system, which is very, very, very effective, there have been tens of thousands of people over the, you know, probably hundreds of thousands of people. Over the course of my podcast career. In fact, I know that's true because we sold that many books. All right. So it's, it's probably millions of people at this point. Uh, that have used this to become more productive and become successful and it's free.

• 20:50Andy Frisella?

  Okay. You can get it episode 16 on audio feed. I give all my fucking shit away for free, guys. All right. They're very powerful tools. Go get them. Go to episode 16, listen to the episode, learn how to do the powerless incorporated in your life. And you're not going to have problems moving forward.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two, Andy, you actually mentioned, you talked about this just a little bit. So this question too is perfect for humility ego. Um, in the pursuit of winning. Okay. Let's talk about it, guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy. Been a long time listening to the podcast. I love the show. You are the reason for me getting into business. I have recently had a weird thought pattern in regards to success and confidence versus ego. I was driving home from the gym and started having thoughts that made me uncomfortable. Because it felt like it was coming out of ego. I'm 23. Uh, with a decently successful business and I bought a C7 Corvette Z06. Um, PS, you need to get one manual.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  But on my way home from the gym, I noticed myself looking at other people driving around in the cars on the road while they were commuting to work. I couldn't help myself but to have thoughts of I am better. Or even at the gym, working harder than everyone in there and knowing no one else is leading to me thinking I am better. I've always compared myself to guys like you, successful people, guys who are winning, because you guys are the top of the top in terms of business. I can acknowledge that I'm not even close on the list to you guys, but not fully at the bottom. I know I am not better than these people, and it doesn't make them less. But where

• 22:35Speaker 01

  is the healthy amount that is no longer a humble confidence because of what you have sacrificed and the work you put in, compared to is it just ego that needs to be humbled? How do we do this?

• 22:47Andy Frisella?

  All right, first thing is the fact that you're aware of this is a good thing. Most people, the reason that their ego gets out of control and it ends up fucking them over is because they're not aware of it at all. Okay, they just start to have little wins and then they think they're better than they really are. And I want to be real with you, dude. Driving a C7 Corvette ain't a fucking win. Okay, it's maybe a win for you depending on where you came from. Just like when I started getting nice cars, I thought I was winning too, but I'm here to tell you as your big bro, it ain't a fucking win. Okay, now, it's a good little bite, it's a good little taste.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Taste of it.

• 23:24Andy Frisella?

  Okay, but you got a long way to go. All right, so let's, that should humble you a little bit. All right. Here's the reality. When you fucking work hard and you produce a result, and it's clearly a result that everybody else is not getting, it is okay to acknowledge that and say, all right, I'm on the right track. Okay, I'm doing good. And to feel proud of what you're doing and

• 23:51Andy Frisella?

  Still in the same breath, understanding that everybody else, if they did the work that you do, would be in a similar position. Okay, where we get in trouble with humility and ego is when we look at other people and we think, they're pieces of shit because they're not me. Well, it's not true. They, they have the same capacity to produce results as you do. They just haven't followed the plan. So what does that mean for you? That means that you're not really that special. You've just been executing when they haven't. And if you acknowledge that as the truth, that's humility. Okay, humility is not thinking less of ourselves.

• 24:32Andy Frisella?

  It's thinking more of someone else and understanding that they could do the same things that we could do. If they had made the same decisions that we have made, if they had done the same work that we have done. So this is how you balance out ego and humility. Humility is very important to the success process. Because once you lose it, you lack the ability to learn and develop and progress. If you know everything because you're so good at it, how can you get any better? You can't. It's impossible. So the minute that you think, man, I'm the best. Man, nobody can fuck with me. You know, and people usually do this at the level that you're at, at a level that's far below uh what they really should be at. So,

• 25:16Andy Frisella?

  when we get to that level, it makes it impossible for us to progress. And this is why we see so many people kind of get to a minor level of success and then fucking peter out. And then eventually it goes away because they lose, you know, they lose the drive, the hunger, the will to do the work that got them there. Uh, and definitely lose the drive, the hunger and the will to progress further. So, when we think about our egos, we have to understand that both ego and humility have their purposes. All right? If you're going to perform at a high level, Under pressure, you cannot walk in being timid and meek and scared and afraid. You have to walk in like you're the motherfucking man. You got a 20-foot dick.

• 25:58Andy Frisella?

  All right, that's the truth. When I go on stage and talk to people, I don't go out there thinking, "Fucker, I hope they're gonna like me." I go out there thinking, "Man, these motherfuckers are lucky to fucking see me today because I'm gonna blow their motherfucking minds." That's a different attitude, but I don't carry that outside of that. You see what I'm saying? It's about knowing when to apply the tool versus knowing when to apply a different tool, all right? And most of the time, you want to live in a state of confident humility. Meaning, you know that you know what you know, but you also know that there's way more that you don't know than what you know, all right? So, and then there's another truth.

• 26:39Andy Frisella?

  The truth is, if you're training and you're in shape and that's the goal, and they're not, you are better. That's competition, okay? But it doesn't make you a better person. It just makes you producing a better result in that framework. So, you know, it's a delicate scenario and we live in this society that, you know, really beats humility into people's head because most people don't understand the true definition of humility and they use humility to hide behind the lack of work, the lack of effort, the lack of care, the lack of producing results. You know, how many people do we know that their life looks like a fucking dumpster fire,

• 27:20Andy Frisella?

  who then turn to you, who you have ambitions and you're doing work and you're working hard, and say, "Don't forget where you came from." You know, "Oh, you know, you're not very humble anymore. You better be humble." "Oh, humble like you, someone who can't pay their bills and shitty little house and shitty little car and shitty little life?" No, thanks, okay? I'd rather fucking be a cocky fuck who produces than be a poor little me who uses concepts from the Bible to fucking hide behind. We talked about Christianity a minute ago. Let's talk about it again. How are you honoring God by using the Bible to hide behind your lack of effort, development, and results?

• 28:04Andy Frisella?

  You think he luck, you think that's an approved thing with him?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  It doesn't know we're in there.

• 28:09Andy Frisella?

  Bro, not only that, if that was, if that was your son or your daughter, and you said, hey, why aren't you doing this stuff? Why aren't you becoming the most that you are? Why, what? And you said, well, you know, you said to be humble. You said, you know, and then, you know, they sit on their fat ass playing video games. You're gonna look, I don't care who you are, God's gonna look at that and say, mm-mm, that ain't what it is.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  That ain't it.

• 28:30Andy Frisella?

  Right? So, there's a lot of fucking propagation of humility that is not the real definition of humility, because most people, quite honestly, just don't want to do the work to win. And they want to call you out and make themselves feel better, saying you're not humble. Bro, listen, you have to be humble to be successful, okay? But, to be humble, you have to be good first, alright? You can't be humble about not doing anything. How can you be humble about having no skills, no results? That's not being humble, that's just being a loser, alright? So, we have to understand that not only is humility, uh, you know, required for success,

• 29:16Andy Frisella?

  most people don't even understand what it means at all. It's an excuse, right? And, and here's what I mean by required for success. How can you keep up, how can you keep going up the ladder if you already know everything? So, hu- hu- like, those people that you see, that you, like, for example, dude, a lot of people think I'm not humble because I show my cars and I show my life and all this. Bro, I worked 26 fucking years. If you don't like that, eat a dick, okay? Real talk. I've earned what the fuck I have. Secondly, it inspires all the young people out there who are 20, 30 years old, to know that what they are doing will have a payoff of a certain kind, okay? It has nothing to do with humility, alright?

• 29:59Andy Frisella?

  Humility is me understanding that as much success as we've had in business, uh, a lot of it is due to my smart people around me, uh, you know, it's due to my ability to pick up new skills. It's, it's due to our, our collective ability to know what we don't know and what we need to learn and improve. That all takes humility. So, you actually can't be successful without humility. And, uh, you know, the people who throw the rocks and say you're not humble, they don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. So, you know, when you're driving down the road and you're C7, which I can appreciate, like I said, just remember you got a long way to go, bro. You haven't even started.

• 30:40Andy Frisella?

  And to look around and think you're the shit because you're driving a certain car is not how you should be thinking. You should be thinking, all right, I'm doing okay. I'm on the right track. I got a long way to go. And you know what? All these people out here could do the same thing if they were following the plan I'm following. It doesn't make me better. I better keep following the plan and I better get better. That's humility. See what I'm saying?

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Absolutely, man. Uh, one follow up on this because you know, you touched on it. You hear all these people say, all these, you know, success gurus, they're always like, oh, you gotta stop and smell the roses. Right? Now you had mentioned while you're all along on that path, maybe that C7 is that

• 31:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  That reminded, okay, here, I'm doing it.

• 31:20Andy Frisella?

  Listen, my first exotic car was a, uh, what we call it, we call it a cheater car in the car world. Okay? It's, it's a car that looks cool, but has a shit ton of miles on it. So I bought a cheater Aston Martin V8 Vantage for 60 fucking grand. My first nice car. Now, you know, that car when it was new was like 130 grand or something like that. So, you know, I drove that car and I love that car. It made me feel good, but at no point did I fucking say, I got it made. You know what I'm saying? I, I, I knew what I, I knew where I was. And I told the truth to myself about where I was. And I think that's really what it comes down to, you know?

• 32:05Andy Frisella?

  And yeah, dude, you have to make things that you want in your life, reality. And that can be tasting it along the way, like picking up this C7. Cool, bro. Uh, but that can also be like window shopping, you know? One of the things I used to do was I would go to the exotic car dealership, the, the one that I go to now and buy cars. And I look at the cars and you know, Sal and I would go out there and we'd look at the cars and they'd chase us off because, you know,

• 32:32Speaker 01

  I knew you wasn't serious.

• 32:33Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right. And, uh,

• 32:36Andy Frisella?

  You know, I used to go around and live, look at houses, dude, and for example, like my house, the last two houses I've lived in, I, I knew that I would live on those streets or in those houses before 20 years ago. Okay. You know where my old house is. My old house up here in Sunset Hills, when they were building that street, I used to drive up there when they were building it and I would think, fuck dude, one day I'm gonna fucking live on this street. Okay. And eventually I did and I lived there for five years. I used to drive by the house I live in now and like just park there and fucking look at it. And they used to chase me off. Okay. So, and there's a long story to that that I can tell, but

• 33:18Andy Frisella?

  the point of the matter is, is like you have to window shop. You have to go see what you want. The reason most people end up with nothing is because they never make a decision about what they actually want. And then they don't make a plan on how to get there. Well, if you don't know where the fuck you're going and you don't know how to get there, how are you ever gonna get there? Like if I want to get to fucking, uh, you know, Los Angeles and I never decide that I actually want to go to Los Angeles and I certainly don't figure out how I'm gonna get there. How am I gonna get there? How can you be mad about where you're not if you never actually make a plan to get there? Right? And that's how most people spend their lives. They spend more time planning a vacation. They spend more time planning a Friday or Saturday on the weekend than they do where they want to be in life.

• 33:57Andy Frisella?

  And they let life happen to them. They let it float towards their way. They grab the shit they think is the best option at the time. And then they look at it like, well, fuck, this is just what life gave me. And that's a reactionary state and that's just not how we're supposed to live. We're supposed to go out and make it happen. We're supposed to decide what it is we want, make a plan and execute that plan and then eventually end up where we want. This is real shit. And most people just don't do it. If you ask most people what they're gonna do this weekend, they can fucking tell you, we're gonna go here, we're gonna go here, we're gonna do this, we're gonna go to this game. We're gonna, we're gonna do this. If you say, hey, where do you want to be in three years, five years, 10 years? They fucking can't even answer you.

• 34:40Andy Frisella?

  They'll say generic shit like, well, I want to make twice as much money. Or I'd like to live by the ocean. Or I'm gonna tell you right now, dude, nobody accidentally makes more money. Nobody accidentally ends up on the ocean. Like that takes effort, that takes planning and it takes ridiculous diligent, consistent, disciplined execution over time. And, um,

• 35:05Andy Frisella?

  It's like that for everybody. So mo- most people, honestly dude, I don't think they understand the rules of the game. You know, and then they end up mad that the game doesn't, you know, reward them. You know, there's rules and if you're not executing on the rules, you're not going to get what you want. Like it just is what it is.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Love it, man. I absolutely love it. Guys, Andy, let's get our third and final question in here. Um, this is like going all, all together. Let's, let's, let's full circle jerk this thing right here. Uh, guys, any question number three, Andy, I have had a business idea in mind for years.

• 35:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, most people do.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  But every time I start thinking about it, I get overwhelmed by the possibility of failing.

• 35:44Andy Frisella?

  Yep. Most people do that too.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  What if I pour my savings and energy into this?

• 35:48Andy Frisella?

  And it doesn't work.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Only for it to fly.

• 35:50Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Uh, the fear of making the wrong decision keeps me stuck in this planning stage. How do I move past this fear and take action?

• 35:56Andy Frisella?

  Uh, well, you should first realize that if you don't change the way you think right now, you're not going to get shit. You're guaranteed to not get shit. Okay. So you should, instead of ask yourself, what if I do all this and it doesn't work out? You should ask yourself, what, what's my life going to look like if I don't do it? And the, the answer is it's going to look like it looks now, and it's going to progressively get worse and worse and worse as you age. Cause it gets harder to make money. All right. So which leads to a lesser quality of life. And no matter what all the do good or hippies say, money matters a lot. It's just reality. Okay?

• 36:31Andy Frisella?

  So you have to understand that the thought process that you're dealing with is natural. It's most people and it's easily overcome. All right? If I were to take you to the base of Mount Everest and we were to stand there and you're to look up at the mountain, your natural thought is like, fuck, I don't know if I can make it. But you know what the truth is? Every single person who's ever climbed that mountain did it the exact same way. And every single person who's ever built a life that they dreamed, did it the exact same way. And the way is very simple. It's one step at a time. And we make up this story in our heads. What if I do all this work and it doesn't work out? What if I put in all this time and it doesn't?

• 37:14Andy Frisella?

  Work out. What if I put in all this effort and money and quote unquote sacrifice and it doesn't work out? Well, first of all, it only doesn't work out if you quit. All right. And the path that you're taking is not a clear path. You think that it's going to be, I'm going to go and maybe something's going to happen that's going to crush me. That's not how it works. You're going to take steps and as you take steps, you're going to take a misstep. And when you take that misstep, something is going to happen where it's going to teach you not to step there again. All right. So that's a lesson. Now you have to look at that as a new acquired skill. As stupid as that sounds, a new acquired skill is to know not to step fucking there. All right.

• 37:57Andy Frisella?

  Then when you go back, when you get to go back again, you're going to know not to step there and you're going to get a little bit further. And then you get a little bit further down the path and something else happens. Uh, fucking you get to a roadblock and you have to go backwards. And you're going to know from then on, like, hey, I can't go down that path because it's not going to work. And then you amplify this process over time, meaning going, making mistakes, learning the lesson, acquiring the skill, going back one step and applying the skill to overcome. This is the fucking plan of getting anywhere. And so you have to understand that you are in control of your ability to get where you want to go. And it's not up to chance as long as you don't quit. Okay. And you have the intelligence capacity

• 38:43Andy Frisella?

  to not make the same mistake multiple times over and over and over. Meaning if you step in that fucking hole and sprain your ankle, you're smart enough not to sprain your ankle again. If you hit a roadblock, you're smart enough to fucking not go down that path again. And you know, some people just lack that intelligence. Some people don't get it. But if you're that smart to, you know, touch the stove, burn your hand, not touch it again, and you could develop the tenacity and the grit and the perseverance and the discipline to go no matter how you feel, there's nothing you can't do. So that's the way the path really works. A lot of people think, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to go and then something's going to happen and it's going to stop me. Yeah. But what are you going to do after that? All right. And these are the key things that we need to be successful. So.

• 39:27Andy Frisella?

  Everybody thinks that way, but that's why everybody is everybody else and you're you. All right. So for you to get where you want to go, you have to understand that the things that you're going to do are only a sacrifice if you quit. Otherwise they're an investment. And if you know how to go and you know how to persevere and you develop the discipline, grit, fortitude, perseverance, and all that shit that we talk about with live hard program, that it does help you develop very strongly, which is why there's millions of people that do it over and over and over again. You can get wherever you want to go. So this, this idea of what if I do all this work and what if I do all these things?

• 40:11Andy Frisella?

  That's a, that's the faulty way to think about it because the way of achievement is not a clear cut path. It's a process of going, fucking up, learning, applying, and then going again. And it's, it's very simple. And the, the ultimate question that we should be asking ourselves, anybody is not, what if I do all this work and it doesn't work? It's what am I guaranteed to get if I don't do it? And you already know what that is. You already lived that. That's why you want to do something else. The reason you have this idea, the reason you want to do something else is because you're not satisfied with where the fuck you are. So you either get to go or you get to stay where you are. And that's that. Those are the two choices. So what

• 40:54Andy Frisella?

  would you rather have? I would pick a hundred times out of a hundred to go because I know I'm going to learn new skills. I know I'm going to meet new people. I know I'm going to progress. And even if I don't ultimately get where I want to go, I'm going to be in a much better spot than where I am now. And that's that. They're the only guarantee that you're going to have when it comes to success is that if you don't chase it, you're guaranteed to have nothing. And that is it. So we have to understand, those are our choices. This is the process. There's no other way. All these stories you tell yourself about that guy got lucky or he had the perfect circumstances or this, that and the other are bullshit. All right. And that's why I live hard. You know, people are like, why do you have to go outside in the wintertime? That's not safe because guess what, motherfucker?

• 41:39Andy Frisella?

  Conditions are never perfect and you have to learn to execute when conditions aren't perfect. If you can't execute when conditions aren't perfect, that means that your success is determined by the circumstances that are laid out before you. And if your success is determined by the circumstances that are laid out before you, it only takes one or two things of unideal circumstances to keep you from going where you want to go. And that happens to everybody. There's nobody that's ever accomplished anything that went down the path without, without constant bad circumstances, hardships, and all this other shit that's gonna happen that you don't plan. That's why success is so special. That's why winning is so special. Cause you're showing everybody else how to overcome these things.

• 42:21Andy Frisella?

  Okay, and it's a duty and it's an obligation and you take it seriously. So, um, here's the choices. Be where you are and fucking hate it, or go and get to a better place.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Let me ask you this, Andy. What, what, what is more valuable? Is, you know, when you talk about, you know, taking, going down, going down this path, making those mistakes, learning from it. Okay, what's gonna be more valuable?

• 42:43Andy Frisella?

  Do you know, do you know why people listen to me, bro? Do you know why fucking people give value out of what I said? It's not because I fucking know all this shit. It's because I stepped in every fucking bad hole. I found every roadblock. I fucked every single thing up. Not in theory, in experience. I've been an entrepreneur for 26 motherfucking years. Name me another dude out there with a podcast besides maybe Ramsey, okay, who's been doing what I do for that long and built iconic shit with it. Alright, real talk. There's nobody out there. So, the reason that you guys find value in what it is that I have to offer is because

• 43:23Andy Frisella?

  I went when I didn't know shit. I wasn't born with this, dude, I was a CD student. I'm, you know, I was, there's people at, at my high school that are like dumbfounded by where the fuck we are.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Fuck away.

• 43:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but it's alright, man, because that's how it should be. And it shows you, the reason I believe in all of you and the reason I know you're capable is because I was fucking you. I wasn't born with extra shit. Okay, so I know how to build it. I know how to create it. I know you can do it too. So, we talk about, you know, what the value is. The value is in the journey because you acquire all these skills.

• 44:02Andy Frisella?

  That allow you to do amazing shit in your life, man. And like, you guys, you guys are bombarded by fucking losers. That's the truth. Most of the people that you spend your time around are fucking losers. They might be nice people. They might be good people, but when it comes to achievement, it comes to ambition, it comes to building, creating, becoming, they've just accepted what they are. And that's fine. They're probably, you know, fucking so ignorant to what they could be that they're happy. Ignorance is bliss. Okay, that's okay. It's okay, I'm not judging it. But if you're listening to this, you're ambitious. You want to win. You want to achieve. So you have to understand that that is a different fucking path than all these people.

• 44:44Andy Frisella?

  And they're all going to tell you the shit that they think, and they don't know a fucking thing about what you're trying to do. So we tune it out. We understand that if we go down the path for the next five years, the next 10 years, dude, this is the greatest thing that happens. Okay, this is the greatest thing that happens. In the beginning, everybody's on the same level. There's all these people that want to do all this shit that you want to do. But they won't go because they think, what if I do all this work and it doesn't work out? And then you go for just five years, okay?

• 45:18Andy Frisella?

  There's so many less people at five years in than there is in the beginning, that the competition is, is way less. If you go for fucking 20 years, like dude, listen. I've been in my business for 20 fucking, 26 years, what I do, okay? If a new company comes along and they have some success, and they, they hit a couple, couple doubles and they're doing okay. Do you understand how much more understanding of the game, in the game that they're playing that I have than they have? You understand?

• 45:51Speaker 01

  It's, it's not comparable.

• 45:53Andy Frisella?

  I can look at them and say, you're doing this, this, this, and this is going to fuck you up. I can see it because I've already seen it or done it. All right? So when we develop that level of understanding of the game that we are playing. It's not hard to operate, bro. You don't have that much competition. Sure, there's people out there that are much bigger than us and, you know, do things better than us, but dude, they've been doing it longer. You know what I'm saying? They've been, or they got in the right place at the right time and they go up and they come right back down because they don't have the 20 fucking six years of skills that I give you motherfuckers for free. You see what I'm saying?

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:26Andy Frisella?

  So, so, yeah, well, how do you explain this? Well, that's an anomaly. They went here and now they're back down. And the reason they're down is because they don't have the experience. So, the value in the skillset, it's immense, bro. It's everything. And you only get it through going.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  I love it, man. I fucking love it. You can't win this week. I don't know what to tell you.

• 46:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  That's a hell of a way to start.

• 46:47Andy Frisella?

  Guys, I want to remind you again, that the MFCO project, which is all about success and all about personal development and all about becoming the best possible individual citizen that we can be so that we can turn this country to the, to the way that it should be, is launching very soon. And if you're interested in it, it's only going to be launched through my email. And if you want to get on the email list, go to andyfrisella.com, register for the Andygram, which is my daily email. You'll get one email a day. It's a, it's a positive message that you get every day, a message of reality and truth and success and personal development. Get on that email and you'll, you'll know how you can get the MFCO project when it launches. So.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Guys, Andy, that was three.

• 47:33Andy Frisella?

  Yep. We'll see you tomorrow for CTI. Don't be a hoe. Share the show.