Justin Baldoni interviews Jay Shetty ON: Self-Compassion & Finding Your Purpose Through Service

What happens when we ask ourselves if our actions are rooted in being of service to humanity or if they are self-serving? Podcast host, New York Times bestselling author, and former monk, Jay Shetty shares his fascinating journey of being raised by and around powerful women, how masculinity manifested in insecurities, and how he discovered that service is at the core of his being. Jay makes ancient wisdom relevant and accessible as he invites us to lean into self-compassion, solitude, and a purpose beyond ourselves. The Man Enough Podcast is produced by Wayfarer Studios and presented by Proctor and Gamble, in partnership with Cadence 13, an Audacy company. Achieve success in every area of your life with Jay Shetty’s Genius Community. Join over 10,000 members taking their holistic well-being to the next level today, at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 06:06 Appreciate the person who helped you learn a positive habit 08:28 When did you feel like you weren’t a man? 12:57 What is service for a man? 17:52 It’s human desire to be inspired and project perfection on to anyone 21:11 Doing business in a more spiritual way 24:07 Billionaires are people who impacts the lives of a billion people 27:36 Both the giver and receiver are serving 34:52 How not to get crushed by social media 37:51 Set your intention when you create a piece of content 42:56 Allow yourself to have compassion for yourself 43:30 Getting addicted to playing video games 48:05 Man Enough’s Rapid Fire Questions Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Episode Resources: The Man Enough Podcast We Are Man Enough | Twitter We Are Man Enough | YouTube We Are Man Enough | Facebook We Are Man Enough | Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:28Jay Shetty?

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• 2:10Jay Shetty?

  It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus Awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to On Purpose. This is a very, very special episode. I had the opportunity to sit down with three hosts, and one of them has been on here before. Someone we all love and admire, an incredibly talented friend of mine. I'm a big fan of his new book, Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity,

• 2:55Jay Shetty?

  where he helps readers think outside of the traditional definition of masculinity. He opens up to everyone, allows himself to be vulnerable, and admits that he is still working on healing himself. Everyone, please welcome back Justin Baldoni, and someone who hopes his book will inspire other men to let themselves be vulnerable as well. This is one that I don't want you to miss. Can't wait for you to hear this conversation. There's some big reveals in this one.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Welcome to the Man Enough Podcast. Man Enough is a conversation about what it means to be a man today and undefining all of the stereotypical, traditional ideas of masculinity to make room for anybody who identifies as a man to be allowed to be a man. We want to create a world where there is more unity and equality, and that starts with uncomfortable conversations where we go deep and we are growing and learning in real time. We have not arrived, we're just beginning. Check us out at manenough.com, or you can like and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome back to Man Enough.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  I'm Justin Baldoni here with the incredible Liz Plank, Jamie Heath, and the one and only, my dear friend, Mr. Jay Shetty. Dude, we're finally doing this.

• 4:20Jay Shetty?

  We're doing it. Thank you for having me, guys.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Have you ever been on a podcast?

• 4:24Jay Shetty?

  I've never been on a podcast with three co-hosts before.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  So this is not your first podcast.

• 4:30Jay Shetty?

  This is very special.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  I just wanted this to be your first podcast, but he's never been on any podcast.

• 4:36Jay Shetty?

  This is the first time I've been on a podcast, which has such a beautiful, clear purpose, to help people redefine who they want to be in the world. And so it is the first time. And it's the first time that I'm being interviewed by Justin. I've had him on the podcast before, which has been really special. It's the first time we're meeting.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Indeed.

• 4:57Jay Shetty?

  And Liz, I've been a huge fan of for like the last five years. I've just been name dropping all her video names since we met. And I'm so grateful to get to meet you today, Jamie. So thank you for having me.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Thanks for being here.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Jay, you're just, you're just special. You're a special man. It's like you meet people that you know were sent by God with a purpose to just like make it a little better. And you're one of those people.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  You are a bestselling author. You are a former monk and a purpose coach. You're the host of an incredibly popular podcast, On Purpose, speaking of purpose, which has more than 64 million downloads. Your YouTube videos have been streamed 2 billion times. That's like a third of the planet.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  I hope you find success one day.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Maybe one day you can be on a podcast.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  When you you finished your studies, you turned down jobs in the business world to go live in India and become a full-time monk. That inspired your book, Think Like a Monk. It came out in September 2020 during this pandemic, and I know you've talked about it so much. Hopefully, we will get to talk about it and so many more other things. But it's sold out, so many copies. And with that in mind, I'd love to welcome you to our show, To Me and Enough.

• 6:21Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for embarrassing me.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  I know, isn't it awkward to just like hear your, you know, even a portion of your life story and your successes, right?

• 6:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Perceived successes.

• 6:30Jay Shetty?

  Well, you know, no, I value everything you just shared. Like, I'm so grateful and blessed to have that. But I have this practice that we were trained in as monks, that when someone notices something good about you, even what you were just saying earlier, you accept it and you receive it. But you think of the person that helped you get that skill or ability or habit or practice that helped you develop that intentionally or unintentionally, and you pass it on to them. So I love doing this because I can just sit here and think about all my teachers and monk teachers and pass it back to them and thank them in my heart. So it's an opportunity to be thankful and grateful.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  I love that. You've been on the podcast for 35 seconds, and you've already dropped something that's helpful to me. Because I have a hard time accepting compliments. I just have a hard time with it. And I love, I love that I can accept it and thank somebody. I can, I can do that.

• 7:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's simple.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  I can do that because I, I stand on the shoulder of giants, right? I appreciate that. All right. All right. Thank you.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  And I noticed too, before you, before, I hope you don't mind me pointing this out, before we started, I saw you, I looked over you and your eyes were closed and you just took like 30, 50, 60 seconds. Is that something that you learned during your?

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Monastery.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  What?

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Monastery, during your time in monastery.

• 7:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it was the idea of using any opportunity before you begin something.

• 8:04Jay Shetty?

  You're setting your intention for service. So before you begin anything in the day, whether it's eating, or even sleeping, or spending time with someone, or, I mean, we literally are serving humanity through Justin and all of you and the incredible work that Man Enough does. So to just set your intention and be like, okay, let me get out of my own way. Let me be a channel, let me serve, let me, you know, not.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  So it's not really a prayer?

• 8:28Jay Shetty?

  It's a prayer. You could call it a prayer, absolutely. Yeah, you could call it a prayer.

• 8:33Jay Shetty?

  But the clear thing is you're setting your intention for service. So a prayer for to be of service, absolutely.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  So I'd like to start by asking you,

• 8:45Speaker 01

  when was a time where you just didn't feel like you were man enough?

• 8:50Jay Shetty?

  I'd probably say my whole life. Like, it feels like such a real thing, because when I was growing up as a young boy, I was overweight, and I was one of the few ethnic minorities in my area. And so I was bullied at primary school, and I'd always be picked on, or the mic taken out, whether it was racism, or whether it was about my weight, or body image, and all of those kind of issues. And I actually didn't take it that personally, because I'd go home and my mom loved me a lot. And so I was raised, I feel like I was literally raised by my mom, and that's one of the reasons why I never felt man enough, because my mother was the most involved parent.

• 9:31Jay Shetty?

  My dad was very much aloof, let me make my decisions, failures, choices. But my mother was always there. My mother taught me how to shave my face. She taught me my skincare routine. She taught, like, my mother was like the first person to teach me a lot of what people's dads usually teach them. And that wasn't because my dad was a bad father, it's just that that was his style, and we have a great friendship now. But with my mom, she was the one involved. So I never felt man enough because I didn't have a man teaching me man things, or however you want to put it. I was always surrounded by my mother, my sister, and powerful women in my life. And I wasn't really exposed to alpha males or any of those figures.

• 10:13Jay Shetty?

  So how's that manifest? Like, do people call you mama's boy? Did they call you names? Yeah, all of it. I remember when someone would pick on me at school, I'd go to my mom. Then my mom would come to school to like, you know, like be like, why are you treating my son like this? And that's like the worst nightmare for a kid, right? It's like, it's like everyone in the school is like, oh, gosh, it's Jay's mom again. And, you know, my mom can be pretty protective of me, especially when I was younger. And so she'd get right in there with the headmistress's office or the dean's office and just be like, can't have this happen. And then everyone would find out and then, and would laugh at you more. And so I think, I think it ended up, I actually think it just made me more of who I am today. But when I went to high school, I started to crave more male attention.

• 10:57Jay Shetty?

  So going from that, I then went to an all-boys school. Oh, wow. So I went to an all-boys school from the age of 11 to 18. And at that point, you have no one else's validation or recognition to get apart from other boys. Right. Now I want to fit in. Did you, so did you seek or crave that attention? Absolutely. That's when I was like, oh, now I want to be seen as strong. And I want to be seen as cool. And I want to be seen as the guy. And I want to be seen as this and that. And so I think that manifested in being quite competitive. And so I wanted to get a spot on the school's rugby team. I wanted to get a spot on the school's swimming team. I wanted to get a spot on the school's- Did you play rugby? I did. I think a big part of it was that masculine feeling that it gave me.

• 11:41Jay Shetty?

  And so I think it manifested in insecurities at high school. So as I got older, I actually think between 14 to 18, it manifested as insecurities of seeking validation and recognition.

• 11:54Jay Shetty?

  For that which was not me. So I wasn't looking to be loved because I was empathetic and compassionate and kind, which is how my mom raised me. I was looking to be liked because I was bold and courageous and strong and physical and competitive. And so you almost start looking for validation for the things that you're not.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  So you became, you were performing.

• 12:18Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Every day.

• 12:19Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  Masculinity feels like, like it's a total dance, right? It's a total choreography and you're kind of watching other men like do it, right? Like even the handshake, like how am I supposed to like do the hug, then the pull, then the.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  Then the what? Show us one more time.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  There's like a pull, there's a tap sometimes.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  The bro hug.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Double tap.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  No, no, it's the bro hug.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a lot of different, it's very funny, not funny, but it can be entertaining as a woman to just kind of watch that and be like, I'm so happy I don't have to figure that out. But, but I want to come back to the, you know, your point about service, which you really, you know, opened up our conversation with. I feel like we over emphasize service for women, right? That you are at the service of the people around you and that's your value in the world. And we kind of under emphasize service for men. And it seems like for you, finding service as purpose was really a very meaningful part of your identity. I'm wondering how you see, you know, us being able to make that connection. What does service look like for men and how is it tied to masculinity?

• 13:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I, I mean, I saw, what I was saying was I saw my mother's sacrifice growing up. So my mother was raising me and my sister deeply with love. I've always felt loved by my mother. And then she would also have her own business. So I didn't even know, I didn't know she was an entrepreneur, but she was an entrepreneur. Which was so weird because she never made herself out to be an entrepreneur. And so she had her own business. She started it so that she could work more flexibly. And she was taking care of my sister. She'd drop us to school, she'd pick us up, she'd make us dinner. She'd be working as well and at one point became the main breadwinner in the family as well. And so I saw my mom serve or sacrifice in this way. And so I feel like I got trained by watching her and observing her.

• 14:06Jay Shetty?

  And then when I met the monks, who, the predominant monks that I lived with were all men and service was at the core of their entire being. So our teachers would always tell us that the only way a culture succeeds is if everyone wants to serve everyone else. And so that was like the encouragement of that culture. And that's where it became so real to me. And for me, service and masculinity go hand in hand, but service and humanity go hand in hand. And I think this is, it's slightly veering off from where we are, but I think it's an important point to make is when I lived as a monk, we stopped identifying as men and women. And we were asked to identify as consciousness.

• 14:50Jay Shetty?

  And that distinction and difference just kind of created this huge like weight of my shoulders, because now it's like, oh, I'm not masculine or feminine, or I'm not this or that, I'm just.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  You just are.

• 15:02Jay Shetty?

  I'm just, I'm just consciousness, I'm a human, I'm a soul, and whatever you want to call it, I'm energy. And that energy is wired for service. And so the energy inside each of us at this table is wired for service. So the way it connects is that we've been designed to serve. But unfortunately, and I've heard that a lot from, from women, is that often it turns into being a martyr, or, or going to the point of self-sacrifice and self-sabotage because of how it's encouraged more. And I was speaking at this event, and a man came up to me, he was probably in his 40s. And I had just told a story about how when I met the monks at 18, they shifted my perspective to service.

• 15:46Jay Shetty?

  And he said to me, he goes, you're so lucky that you got that at 18. And I was like, yeah, I know, trust me, like, I'm so grateful to my teachers. He goes, no, no, no, really. He goes, I only realized that someone else mattered when I had a child. And he was like, that's the only, that was the first time I realized that someone apart from me mattered.

• 16:07Jay Shetty?

  And, and you know, he was obviously being really vulnerable and I appreciated him sharing that and I met it with compassion, but I think that's the case that for a lot of men, I don't think we're trained early on in our life to realize that not just do our kids matter or our partners matter, but everyone matters and more people matter.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Well, you're rewarded if you don't, right? Like on the rugby team, you know, sort of the culture you're describing where you get rewarded if you are individualistic, competitive and, you know, have this kind of attitude. And again, for women, it's the opposite. We, we get heavily punished when we, when we take on those characteristics.

• 16:42Jay Shetty?

  That's true.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that un-gendering is so interesting, right? That happened and, and that surplus of energy that you felt is something that we could all access, right? If we weren't weighed down by these gender stereotypes.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  It's like the freedom, right?

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  So you're saying that you had sight, you had knowledge growing up by your mother and you kind of held that to yourself?

• 17:05Jay Shetty?

  I gave it up because I saw it as less than. So it's not even that I held it back. I gave it up and substituted it.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  You traded it in for your man card.

• 17:14Jay Shetty?

  Correct, for this toxicity, which then obviously encouraged more people to go down that path. And then I think the best thing I've done to try and remove that is when I became a monk, I became the mentor to a lot of young men in London. And those young men are still involved in my life. So I've known them since they were like 16 to 18 years old. They're all like 26 to 28 years old now. And so I feel like those 25 guys, they know who they are, like those are like my favorite success story because those, I just see them make amazing decisions with their partners, their careers, like they're all, most of them in relationships now. And I see the husbands and the fathers they're becoming and, I mean, it's, it's, you know, many of them become fathers before I am one.

• 17:59Jay Shetty?

  And it's just inspiring that they're also leading that way and showing me that people don't have to make as bad a mistakes or go as far as I did.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Where do you go? Like when you're struggling, you know, when you and your wife are having a fight, or if you ever have a fight, I don't know if you guys have fights.

• 18:15Jay Shetty?

  Lots.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Where do you go and share that? Because you are, you are a spiritual guru to millions of people now, right? And in many ways, and so many people look to you for advice. But who do you go to? Where do you go when you need help?

• 18:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so the first thing I'm going to address that, the arguing with my wife, because I think that's such a good thing to talk about. This is what I find fascinating about the way humans are wired. And, and I'll give an example. So me, my wife's been my first guest every year when we launch a new season of the podcast. So she's been on the podcast three times, the guest we've had on the most. And every time we'll do like a one and a half hour episode of everything we struggled with that year. And so we talk about like the mistakes, the failures, the things that went wrong. And the number one comment will be relationship goals. And the number one comment will be couple goals. And what I've found is that the human desire to be inspired

• 19:10Jay Shetty?

  and want someone to project perfection onto anyone is so strong that my, my honest comment back is always, please listen to what we just said.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're not listening.

• 19:22Jay Shetty?

  Right, like, and not in a not listening in like, and I know you don't mean this, not in an attacking way, but just like, please just listen to me. Like, I just told you that when I first started dating my wife, I thought she wanted to be wooed like in the movies of Hollywood. And I got it all wrong because I was doing all this flashy stuff. And my wife's actually a simple person, did not want any of that. I just told you.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Do you know we have the same story? Yeah. Yeah.

• 19:44Jay Shetty?

  We haven't. I didn't know that. I don't think we were.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  What did we have our double date? We didn't talk about.

• 19:47Jay Shetty?

  We did not talk about that.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Identical story.

• 19:48Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:49Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  No, keep going, please keep going.

• 19:51Jay Shetty?

  So, so, so my point's being like, if I've just told you that actually for the first two years of our marriage, sorry, two years of our relationship, we didn't understand each other. Don't just look at us and go like, oh yeah, you guys got green eyes and they match. And so you match and like, you know, it's, there's just so much more to it. And I find that.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  So addictive.

• 20:09Jay Shetty?

  As humans, we so want people to be perfect that we create a pedestal, even if someone's telling you the truth. And I think if we just sit and all listen to each other, then A, we won't be let down by people. And B, we won't put people.

• 20:26Jay Shetty?

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• 21:09Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details. This episode is brought to you by Amtrak.

• 21:53Jay Shetty?

  You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. On the pedestal, but who do I go to? So the first thing I definitely turn to my texts. And I know we share this in common, but the Bhagavad Gita has been such a companion and guide in my life from so long since I was 18 that I turn to it all the time.

• 22:36Jay Shetty?

  My monk teacher, who's now 70 years old, who you actually met?

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh my God, so sweet.

• 22:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, when he came to my home, so you've met him. And he's now 70 years old. He grew up in Chicago and hitchhiked to India at the age of 19.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  The story is insane.

• 22:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  It's an insane story.

• 22:52Jay Shetty?

  And so. When I'm, when I'm struggling with something in a major way, when it's like a real like, like I feel like it's a tragedy at this point, then he's the person I go to. Because he always helps me see the reality and see the truth. Uh, again, there's monks in between that journey. So he's like kind of at the top of the order. But then there's other ones that are more like older brothers and I can be more vulnerable with them. And I, I don't feel like. So you have monks on like. On speed dial. Phone a friend monks.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  And they're there to help you like just recalibrate, bring yourself to account.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  So for men who don't have monks on speed dial, what is, what is your advice for them to do business in a more spiritual way?

• 23:34Jay Shetty?

  So spirituality in business is an interesting concept because a lot of people today see it as an oxymoron.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:41Jay Shetty?

  Or, um, you know, mutually exclusive. And the truth is that spirituality is so powerful that it actually spreads across everything. And I know, I know all of you understand that, but it's like, if spirituality is what we all say it is, then it has the purity and the power to spread across anything. And again, going back to our previous theme, the key element is, is this for service? Of humanity for others, or is this in the service of myself? Now that's a fine line.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:15Jay Shetty?

  And I've been on the wrong side of that line plenty of times. So there's plenty of times when I assess options and opportunities in front of me. And I realize I'm only taking that option because there's ego involved.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 24:27Jay Shetty?

  I'm only taking that option because there's an opportunity or there's a big payout or there's a nice dollar sign next to it and I'm only doing it for that. And I've said yes to stuff like that, plenty of times to know that I'm not perfect. But the awareness is what I would encourage people to do is, is having the ability to be like, here are the three, four options in my life right now. Let me write a word above them, which is the intention of why I'm choosing that. And if the, if the word isn't love or service, it's not going to feel good after I finish it.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 25:00Jay Shetty?

  And, and so that's, that's what I would encourage people to do as a reflection without needing anyone in their life or anyone around them.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  I love that. I love that there's this, I, I, I don't know the quote exactly, but, um, one of the central figures in the Baha'i faith talks about Abdou Baha, that when you are suffering and when you are going through something and you cannot find a way out. To immediately go be of service to another. Because when you are serviced to others, you find that your own pains and things just dissipate through that. So when you talked about earlier about being wired for service. Yes. So while I think that, also, there are some people that are put into service toward to others, not to be of pure service, because they're forced to be put there.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Women are some, wives oftentimes, unless we do something different. I have these conversations with Liz all the time. The service that I've always seen with women in my life, my mother, grandma, all of them, they, it was, it was, there was a lot of sexism going on as well. Not necessarily by my father. Certainly, I want to say no, but all of the stuff that was being experienced. So I think that this idea of service being elevated, but service being forced, how do we, how do we really talk about that?

• 26:23Speaker 03

  And how does service and capitalism, right? Like, which feel at odds? How do you, how do you reconcile that?

• 26:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, there's, there's a beautiful statement by Peter Diamandis, and he says that we should redefine the word billionaire to be someone who impacts the lives of a billion people. Now, whether you think of that from spirituality or from a money perspective, the wealthiest people in the world are creating something that services the most amount of people. And the scale of the problem you're solving and the depth of the issue is how much money you make. So if someone created a cure for cancer and was able to scale it across the world, they would probably be the wealthiest person on the planet because they created something out of service. Now, you may say, well, Jay, well, no,

• 27:13Jay Shetty?

  many people out of wanting the money will figure that out. I'd say that they may, but I'm hoping that on that journey, they'll upgrade and their desire and their intention will be purified. And I think this was what I loved learning from the Bhagavad Gita, which was this idea of there is no pure intention. All intentions are percentages and divided. So when you first start something, you may have a 70% pure intention, but there's 30% of ego in that.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:42Jay Shetty?

  Or when you start, it's probably the other way around. 25% good intention and 75% of ego. But it's purified in the process. So even if you look at people who've set out their lives, and I work with many of them, who set out at the beginning of their lives to become wealthy and famous. When they became wealthy and famous, they then realized that wasn't the point. And they were purified in the process of achieving their goal. And so the way I think about it is that in a capitalist society, even the people that are succeeding are succeeding because of service, whether it's conscious or not conscious, whether it's intentional or unintentional. They're still only successful. Like, Amazon is successful because we all want its service. Like, we want to be served by Amazon, right? And I'm not promoting or de-promoting Amazon.

• 28:27Jay Shetty?

  I'm just making the point that because it serves a daily need for the majority of the population, they are financially successful because of it. Does that make sense, Liz? I don't know if I'm answering your question.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Well.

• 28:39Jay Shetty?

  And I want, and I see your face, so I'm like, I wanna.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Well, because I, I feel like it doesn't purify. Like Jeff Bezos, uh, actually, I don't care about pissing out Jeff Bezos. I'm doing it with love. You know, Jeff Bezos, uh, I don't think, I don't, I don't have any evidence that he was purified by becoming a billionaire. Like, he still has 28 bathrooms, but then he's preventing his workers from unionizing, right? So like, yeah, I, I guess I'm still wondering how to reconcile those things. And we've talked about the intersection of masculinity and risk, about how, you know, women are willing to take big risks when it comes to redistribution, when it comes to more taxation, when it comes to the environment. And it's actually men who, and particularly white men, sorry,

• 29:26Speaker 03

  that I'm, I'm just talking, I'm just speaking the data. Hey, I'm sitting here. It's particularly white men because, yeah, the 10 most wealthiest people are, are white men. You know, they have the most to lose. So I think about that all the time, you know? I, and, and I, you know, I'm, I'm bringing this up because it's something that, that I grapple with. Yeah. Where I feel like my heart is in the right place and 100% I've known when it's not. Or when I've done something, I'm like, this was not for the right reason. But yeah, how do we, how do, how do we reconcile those things, I think?

• 29:56Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, whether anyone's been purified or not, and where their journey of life goes, we'll find out, right? With everyone. I really believe that everyone's on this recurring journey of life, and it's all to get people to realize that service is the only goal. And we kind of have to keep having life experiences and failures and shortcomings and issues and everything going wrong to only remind you of that, and that being the only satisfying thing. The way you reconcile it is only through stillness and solitude. Like, if you don't spend enough time alone every day and try to hear yourself, and try to hear the words of your spiritual teachers, guides, texts, then you are only gonna hear the noise from society outside,

• 30:41Jay Shetty?

  and that's what you'll end up following. Or if you're switching off the noise to listen to a podcast like this and all the other episodes that I've seen the guests you've had on and the types of conversations you're having on, you're all performing a service. And by the way, everyone who's listening is also serving by learning. So it's not only the giver that is serving, the receiver is also serving. I think the bigger challenge is also that we've just lacked examples of that. And so, to me, it's like, I would be traveling with one of our senior monk leaders, you know, this gentleman's 70 years old, I'm like 21 years old. And every day we'd wake up in the morning,

• 31:23Jay Shetty?

  and he would bow down before me on the floor to honor the soul that's within my heart. And I would do the same back, but he would always beat me to it, and there was no one watching. There were no fanfare, there was no audience, there was no one to do it for. I wasn't Jay Shetty, like, I was just a kid who's 21 years old. And that's how we were taught to behave with each other, with that much level of respect. Now, he would have done that with anyone in the room. So the reason I'm sharing that is like... When I experienced that level of masculine, or whatever you wanna call that, like, you know, if, when I experienced that, it gave me faith that a man could be extremely powerful by being extremely humble.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:08Jay Shetty?

  That a man could be extremely, could penetrate my heart by being really kind and caring and compassionate. But if you've never experienced that, how are you to believe that that's possible?

• 32:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:19Jay Shetty?

  I think the first step is to seek and find. Like, I, I think it's hard to tell anyone to, the formula for how to navigate that without them finding a purpose that is bigger than themselves.

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:31Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's, it's hard for anyone to navigate life. Sometimes your purpose bigger than yourself becomes your family, and your love for your family. And that's as far and wide as your mind wants to go, and that's beautiful.

• 32:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:43Jay Shetty?

  And for some people, it becomes the world, and for some people, it becomes their town and their city. But everyone has to have something. You know, those beautiful words of, of Martin Luther King of, you know, if you have nothing to die for, you have nothing to live for. Like, that to me is the clear purpose of life, where we have to seek out what it is that we really care about and what we really believe in. And that can be your family. That's totally fine. Like, this doesn't have to be like a, I'm gonna become an activist and change the world conversation. This is, I care about the quality of life my family has. But I think about quality based on the depth of their experience of life, not just what they have.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 33:24Jay Shetty?

  And I'm going to live my life, or try and live my life in that way. And so to me, the first step is to seek mentors, coaches, guides, guidance. It has to be, it always is. I had the fortune of interviewing Walter Isaacson. He's famously known to write the biographies of the biggest icons of all time. So he wrote the official biography of Leonardo da Vinci, Einstein, Steve Jobs. Like, you know, just, it's insane. And he worked at CNN in time before that. And he wrote a new book about a lady named Jennifer Doudna, who is the founder of gene editing. Now, she's a, a female scientist,

• 34:06Jay Shetty?

  who was told by her schoolteachers that women don't become scientists. Right? Like, women can't be scientists. She just won the Nobel Prize for, for her discovery. So, amazing. And he just wrote a book about her life. It's called Codebreaker. The reason why I'm sharing all of that is that... Some girls gonna pick up that book, or guy, both, or anyone, or they are gonna pick up that book, and they are gonna find their role model in that book. We all find, we may not have a monk on speed dial, we may not have met a monk when you're eighteen, but you're going to find when you start searching and looking, and when you find that, you're gonna read it, you're gonna internalize it, and it's gonna change how

• 34:46Jay Shetty?

  you think. And I just feel that encouraging people to find coaches, guides, and mentors is the best thing I can do, because there's no one we admire that doesn't have that. Whether they're an athlete, whether they're a singer, whether they're a musician, whether they're a videographer or editor, everyone's had mentors, guides, and coaches, but it's become so far removed from our lives today, that everyone thinks they have to figure it out for themselves, and that's where the mess is created from. It sounds like an obvious point, but it's almost like we obviously haven't pushed it enough.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:18Jay Shetty?

  Because as a man, to take another person as your mentor also requires you to have your humility, you've got to forgive yourself, you've got to be compassionate to yourself. So the simple act of taking on a mentor actually does more for your masculinity than anything else.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  And also, being a mentor.

• 35:37Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Right? You reach a, you reach a place, and you have your success, or you've achieved something, and then being of service to that person is sending the elevator back down. But it's the biggest, it's the biggest myth of masculinity that we have to do it by ourselves.

• 35:52Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Like, that we, you know, that we can't ask for help, we can't ask for guidance, we can't ask for those things.

• 35:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. I want to ask you something real quick, Jay, because, because I don't know how you do it. And social media, I want to talk about social media for a second. We talked about it a little bit when I joined your podcast, but we know what social media in many ways does to our brains. We get dopamine hits left and right, much more than, you know, we ever have in human history. Like, dislike, followers, comments, all of which are contributing, I think, to a different kind of pandemic, which is like extremely low self-worth, seeking external validation, and everybody wanting to become the center of attention, an influencer, to have influence.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  And then you mix in like what's becoming trendy or popular or woke in culture. And then you have service, right? And these lines get very blurred. Like I've struggled with like, do I post that? Do I not post that? Like, oh, that didn't get as many likes. And I still have those thoughts. And I just imagine 15 year olds and 12 year olds now that are getting social media and all of these things. And I remember watching this like, I swear she was eight years old. She was doing, she was by herself in a CVS, doing a TikTok, holding the phone by herself. And I was really confused and I looked at that and my heart broke. Just thinking about the performative aspect of what social media does. How, how have you stayed above water? How have you not been affected? Or, or are you ever affected?

• 37:23Speaker 01

  And I guess that's my question is, are you also affected by if something doesn't have a lot of likes? Or if a podcast doesn't have a lot of downloads? Because you seem impermeable in that way. Like you have the teachings, you're so rooted in the teachings and in your meditation and your practice. And it's like you're not shaken by the outside world, but you're, you're teaching people this wisdom, this ancient wisdom. But yet you're doing it from the swamp. How do you stay out of it? And do you struggle ever?

• 37:45Jay Shetty?

  You fall in and you fall in again.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  How do you fall in?

• 37:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, all the time. Social media was my last resort to try and share a message that I deeply believed the world needed. And so if I had it my way, I would never have taken to social media. I would have done it through one of these official channels that wouldn't give me a chance. But, and I think people don't think that people think, oh yeah, you join social media because you want to get a. It's like, I joined social media because I didn't know any other way to spread the message. So going back to mistakes on social media or failures, I've fallen into it so many times that I fall into on a daily basis. If your life revolves around serving through social media, you have to become phenomenal at social media strategy. It's, you can't separate the two. You have to. The problem is when the strategy.

• 38:33Jay Shetty?

  overtakes the sincerity. The problem is when the strategy overtakes the creativity or overshadows the creativity. The problem is when the strategy just becomes a game. And now you're just living in this fake world you've created. And that's the problem. When you just look at the likes and you don't look at the comments. When you look at the views, but you don't look at the engagement. And when I say engagement, I mean the depth of it. What are people saying? How are they feeling? That's what humanizes it again for me. So that's what I'm holding on to is the humanizing of it. Of seeing like, how is this genuinely having a human impact? Not a data impact. And I think that's where our mindset as strategists versus spiritualists goes. Is as a strategist, you're meant to think data.

• 39:17Jay Shetty?

  But as a spiritualist, you're meant to think depth. And so you can't let data overshadow depth. And what I love about algorithms is that they always keep you humble. You will never beat the algorithm. It will always keep you humble. So if you're actually doing it for likes and love and hearts, you will give up. But if you're doing it because you just want to find what is going to connect with people? What is going to resonate? What is going to cut through? Then that's something that will keep you humble in the process of it because you'll never win. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary. A space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options.

• 40:02Jay Shetty?

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• 40:46Jay Shetty?

  Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

• 41:31Jay Shetty?

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• 42:03Speaker 01

  You've been able to separate how a video does or performs

• 42:08Jay Shetty?

  From my own self.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  From your own self-worth.

• 42:10Jay Shetty?

  Oh, for sure, yeah.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  And I think that is really kind of the key in the question for when that TikTok or that Instagram video turns off,

• 42:19Speaker 01

  they're left with themselves.

• 42:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  And you know, one of the things you teach is being with yourself. But if they don't know how to be with themselves, so I guess this is the, this is an opportunity I'm asking you to, to talk to them if, if someone's listening right now, who's struggling with that, because I have struggled with it, especially from a service perspective, like I'm here to be of service. Why am I making this about? Why do I care? Why should I care? I don't care. Do I care? I do care. I care too much. No, I didn't get, you know, and it's like, should I post that? No, but this is my platform. I want to post whatever I want. I want to post the picture of the sunset. But no one's going to like the picture of the sunset, Justin. So post something. And, and I've had these conversations with myself and the fact that I'm having them drive me crazy. And you just strike me as somebody who doesn't have them as much. And maybe that's because you have a sense of self.

• 43:03Jay Shetty?

  The practical answer is all the work goes in thinking about something upfront.

• 43:10Jay Shetty?

  So when you set your intention when you're creating a piece of content. So my book's the biggest, deepest, most meaningful thing I've put out in the world, in my opinion. And I spent a lot of time writing it, researching it.

• 43:24Speaker 01

  I remember, man. You were doing it every day. You were on a mission, three, four hours a day.

• 43:28Jay Shetty?

  Literally.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And we, I knew that I wanted science in it and I wanted monk research in it. And so I had monks researching. I had a scientific researcher. Like, it was a real team project to get it to be what I wanted it to be. And I put in all the work upfront because my intention was if you create something with the love, with the service, with the intention of that, then that's what people are gonna feel. Whereas if I create it with the intention of going viral, or, which you can't actually do because viral by nature and by what it is means that you can't predict it. Like, people can do that. People decide that.

• 44:13Jay Shetty?

  With the book, if you're obsessed with X result, it ruins the process.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:18Jay Shetty?

  So for me, when I'm in the process, I really shut my windows and I close the doors and I'm like, this process has to be as pure as possible, as possible, as possible. So it's not a hundred percent, but it's as good as it can get. And when we look at, and you know, when we talk about how do we share this with the world, let's also make the process really good. Are we sharing in the right places? Are we getting it right? And then when you share it, you know that you've done everything you possibly could to make it worthwhile. And if it doesn't work, you can take that because you've done everything. The problem is, when you put something out with a desire of, oh, it's gonna do great. I know I masterminded this, it's perfect. And then it doesn't do well, then it affects you. Whereas when you've built all your self-worth in the process of that.

• 45:02Jay Shetty?

  And so I sent my publishers an email. And I'm saying this because I'm proud of myself for doing this and I'm gonna say that here. I sent them an email the day before the book came out and we had no idea what was gonna happen or anything. And I said, I just wanna thank you for this process. It's been the best process I've ever had. I love you guys, it's been amazing. It's, you've been the best team I've ever worked with. I really appreciate you, from the editor down to the fact checker, down to this, whatever, everyone on the team. And I just want you to know, I'm already proud of what we've achieved. And I sent that email off to them. And I remember the president of the company that I work with, he replied to me, he goes, Jay, we never get one of these emails the day before the book comes out. He was like, we always get this if the book does well or whatever. And I was like, no, I genuinely feel so proud of what we've achieved already. Whatever happens, happens.

• 45:45Jay Shetty?

  I had my UK publisher tell me, Jay, you know what? We're probably not going to hit number one on the Sunday Times in the UK. Because you know, there's some big hitters in the UK coming out this week. Are you okay with that? I was like, dude, I have written the best book I possibly could. We've done the best launch that I probably could have done. I couldn't have done anymore. I'm good, like whatever, I don't care. And it's like, to me, that's the only way to not care is that you put all your heart into the creation. So that's the practical answer.

• 46:11Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 46:12Jay Shetty?

  The philosophical answer, and the more spiritual answer is I'm flawed. I do seek validation in what people think of me. I do get upset if someone doesn't like my videos and like someone else's. And I forgive myself, I'm compassionate, and I start over again.

• 46:32Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 46:33Jay Shetty?

  Like, that's just the real answer. Like, that's just the truth.

• 46:36Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 46:36Jay Shetty?

  I mess up, I fall down. I get that I'm, I do get worried about, oh, well, will I be relevant next year? Oh, I do get worried about like, oh, will people care about me? I do get worried about like, have I said anything good on this podcast right now? Like, is there anything that I've said that is actually even worth this podcast? I do think about that, like, every time. I think about that every time I record a solo episode of my podcast.

• 46:59Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 47:00Jay Shetty?

  And I think about that all the time, but what do I do? I allow myself to feel that. I allow myself to experience it. I forgive myself for judging myself, and then I start again. And I start every day as if it was new. And my wife and I have this amazing ability, we both have it, is that we can go to sleep, forget the night before, and start again. And I think that my memory literally does that. I erase all of my failures and mistakes from the day before and just start afresh every day, because it's the only way I know to allow myself to have another go at it. Just the idea of allowing yourself to have some compassion for yourself. And I think everyone who's sitting out there who's judging themselves, accept that you judge yourself, be compassionate, but then seek to redirect that energy.

• 47:43Jay Shetty?

  Whatever table you're at, and whoever's at that table, is what you judge yourself by.

• 47:50Jay Shetty?

  So when we heard that famous quote of you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, actually, what the truth is, your values become the average of the five people and their values.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  I love that. When we talked, you and I did like a pandemic check in with like a man enough kind of check in. And you had admitted that you were addicted to video games for a little bit.

• 48:13Jay Shetty?

  I was.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  And, and that was big. In the book, I talk about, you know, an ongoing struggle I've had with porn since I was, you know, a kid. And, and you said it caught you by surprise, that you were addicted. You found yourself like, you know, taking all of this emotion and just playing video games and hours would pass by.

• 48:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  I'm curious.

• 48:31Jay Shetty?

  Which one, by the way? So FIFA, NBA 2K. All right, with you. 2K21 now I have. And Assassin's Creed, which is really messed up. Wait, wait. A monk? Playing Assassin's Creed, yes, yes.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  So I'm curious, how bad did it get? And what pulled you out? Or is that still an ongoing thing that you're, you're just struggling with a little bit? Or, or is it a, you know?

• 48:56Jay Shetty?

  Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, we just found out as the pandemic, I realized we were going to be stuck indoors. I thought maybe this is going to last a month. That's what I thought. And I was like, all right, well, what am I going to do at this time? Like, a lot of things were getting canceled at the time and things like that. And we had a friend staying, my wife's friend staying with us. So they would always be spending time together and everything. So I was pretty much on my own. And instead of meditating more or reading more, I ordered a PlayStation, which, by the way, I hadn't played video games for 10 years. Like, I just hadn't. I hadn't watched TV religiously, like properly, like watched a series on TV. I'd watch movies. I love movies. I didn't watch a TV show for like 10 years. But I literally would sit there and play hours and hours of video games.

• 49:41Jay Shetty?

  And I think I didn't stop playing for like, it took like three to four weeks before I realized that I'd been playing video games for eight hours a day. Eight hours. Time was wasted. All of, I thought I was dealing well with what was going on, but actually, I was just using that as my escape to what was actually happening in the world. And I know it sounds stupid, it's like, oh, video games, but it's not, it's terrible. I mean, when I would play Assassin's Creed, I would walk out and my wife was just like, you look like you've just exited a war. Are you okay? Like, she would literally look at me like.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Our camera, our camera crew's laughing. They're like, oh, I feel that.

• 50:18Jay Shetty?

  She was, she was literally like, are you, like, she would see me come out of the room, like, I come out of the cave of like, she's like, are you okay? Like, I don't think that game's good for you. Like, I don't think that game's good for your energy. And it was like three to four weeks in where I realized, I was like, God, the world's suffering right now. Like, I should be serving. I'm sitting here playing video games, but I have to allow myself and cut myself some slack that that was my escape at the time.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:41Jay Shetty?

  I just hadn't slowed down and I hadn't stopped for like the last three to four years.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:47Jay Shetty?

  I hadn't allowed myself to have any downtime because I was building and serving and creating, that that was my outlet. You, you still realize that it starts to damage your relationships. Like, my mom was like, why are you not calling? Like, I'm not calling my mom and I'm playing A, how's the video game?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:03Jay Shetty?

  I'm not calling my sister and I'm playing A, how's the video games? I'm not spending time with my wife and, you know.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  It's kind of like anything that doesn't have moderation involved.

• 51:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Then it's toxic, right? You drink too much water and then it's toxic.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  My therapist put it this way, if it's fine, it's acceptable behavior if you're doing it and afterwards you don't feel any shame.

• 51:19Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  But if you feel bad or terrible and yet you do it again, then you should look at it.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Well, there are bad things that men can do that they don't feel shame about.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  That is for somebody who's like, by the time you get to therapy and you're actually working on that thing and you're like, hey, you're trying to understand it. By that point, it's like, okay, well, this is probably unhealthy for you if you're, if you're that reflective and you're already there.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  The answer is yes.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  But yeah, but it's, it's interesting that it seems to be the women in your life that sort of pointed that out.

• 51:49Jay Shetty?

  Always. Like, the women, like, my mother, my sister and from my wife, I've just learned, like, like, I dedicate my book to her because she is more monk than I'll ever be. And that's so humbling. When, when we got married, I was like the guy who'd been a monk and meditating for all these years. And even some of my spiritual friends were like, oh, you can't marry her. She's new to spirituality, et cetera, et cetera. And my wife? Like, my wife wakes up earlier than I do, she meditates for longer than I do. She is, she's amazing. Like, she's far more spiritual than I'll ever be. And I love that because I need that.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  She is amazing.

• 52:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I need that. If she wasn't that, maybe I wouldn't be who I am today. Like, maybe I would have gotten more deviated from the path and lost my way.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Jay, you're incredible. We're gonna go to these last questions. Welcome to this week's Man Enough Podcast Rapid Fire Questions. Liz, do you want to start?

• 52:44Speaker 03

  All right.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  It's a rapid fire question.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  You ready? When is the last time that you cried?

• 52:52Jay Shetty?

  It was probably when I was, you know what, I, yeah, it was probably this. Because I don't live in the same country as my mom anymore. And because of the pandemic, I don't get to see her as much anymore. I used to go back regularly. I feel like whenever I'm leaving London and my mom cries, I cry. Because it's my mom, like, I love her, like, she did, she's done everything for me. And, and the thing about love is, there's no way of repaying it. So you can only keep trying. And I think that that's the beauty of love and also the, the hard part of love is that you can't repay real love. And I feel like I'm always in debt to my mom in a good way. And so, yeah, I'd say that.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Tell me something that other people value that you don't.

• 53:34Jay Shetty?

  I'd say it's probably, um,

• 53:38Jay Shetty?

  being understood. I'm okay with being misunderstood.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:43Jay Shetty?

  I just think it's the reality. I just don't think you will ever be understood by everyone. And so, it's okay, like, I don't value being understood anymore. I used to, I used to love being understood.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  I want to take that as a superpower.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  I'm gonna add one. What are you afraid of?

• 53:57Jay Shetty?

  I'm afraid of not reaching my potential. I'm genuinely afraid of that. I, I, I do think about that. Like, I, I think about the future and I'm like, I don't want to die having thought that I didn't try my best to do everything that I was meant to do. And my, my teacher told me something once, which, which set the, the pedestal of potential much higher. And he asked me once, he said, well, what are you doing right now as an update? And so I was telling him, I was like, I'm doing this podcast, and we're launching this book. And I was just sharing it out of love and gratitude to him. And he said, he said to me, he goes, you know, for, for all of these things that you're doing, I have no expectation, but I simply demand the purity of your heart.

• 54:42Jay Shetty?

  And I was just like, oh, that's a lot harder. And that's my biggest fear, that I don't live up to that because I feel like I would have wasted all the love that he's given me over the years and the amount of investment that these teachers have put into a random kid from London who is on his way to do all the stupid things that people do and they've loved me through so much and it upsets me to think that I mess it up. So, yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  When was the last time you apologized to someone?

• 55:13Jay Shetty?

  Today to my wife. We were doing a video together and I was rushing to come here or somewhere else and I was, I had the worst energy and she stopped me and she looked me in the face and she was like, are you okay? Like, what's up? Like, I can tell that you're just frustrated to be here, but you need to do this right now and are you okay with that? And then I was like, alright, let's just do it. I don't like your energy right now. And then I went back to her and I gave her a hug and I was like, I'm really sorry. Like, I'm just, I've had a lot on this past week and whatever. So, yeah.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Thank you for sharing that. And the final question, what does it mean to be man enough?

• 55:45Jay Shetty?

  I think, in my opinion, what it means to be man enough is to... There's a beautiful statement by Russell Barkley where he said that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways. And I think what it means to be man enough is to be able to approach everyone with that love, recognizing that the pain they're causing you or anyone else is coming from a place of them being unloved at some point in their life.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Well, Jay Shetty, you, my friend, are man enough. Thank you so much for being here with us.

• 56:25Jay Shetty?

  Thank you, Liz.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for doing this in person, too, man. I know you had to move a lot of stuff around to make this happen, so thank you so much.

• 56:32Jay Shetty?

  This is so special. I learned so much.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  So sweet.

• 56:52Speaker 06

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• 57:21Speaker 04

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• 57:47Speaker 05

  Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 57:57Speaker 06

  Tom Cruise is.

• 57:58Speaker 05

  Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up.

• 58:02Speaker 06

  From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 58:04Speaker 05

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 58:08Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 58:11Speaker 05

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 58:13Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not admitted without parent.