Jay Shetty Interviews His Wife for the First Time

On the first episode of On Purpose, I have an extremely special guest for you. For the first time ever, and on Valentine’s Day, I’m interviewing my wife, Radhi Shetty. We discuss health, happiness, and the components of a successful relationship. Radhi is a plant-based dietitian, recipe developer, and Ayurvedic medicine enthusiast. Enjoy episode one, and live your life today on purpose. You can follow Jay's wife on Instagram @veggieveganveda See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 1:26Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised to yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  I knew I wanted to be with you and so I was like to my mum, even if we end up living in a really tiny house, I know that I want to spend my life with him. Even from the beginning, like you were so driven to do whatever you wanted to do. I just knew whatever we were meant to be was what was gonna happen. You wanna hold hands, yeah? I'm not good at PDA, so I'm gonna not do that.

• 3:27Jay Shetty?

  Oh my god, did we reject it on camera?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 3:33Jay Shetty?

  Welcome to On Purpose. My name's Jay Shetty and I'm so grateful that you are here. I'm all about creating a community of purposeful people, people who want to find their purpose and serve others through it. I'm so excited to share my first ever episode with you. Thank you for being here. I hope you've subscribed, rated, and reviewed. It would mean so much to me. I wanted this podcast to be personal, honest and vulnerable. So I'm starting off by introducing you to my wife. She's my purpose partner and has stood by me through everything. You will find out about how we met, what makes us click, and also our challenges and how we've overcome them.

• 4:17Jay Shetty?

  I also share some really key principles of relationships to help you with your own. Around halfway in, we also play a game to show you how well we know each other or don't. We're two very different people who have created something special together. I'm so excited to share this as my first ever episode. Again, make sure you've subscribed, rated and reviewed and enjoy the show.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Hey guys, my name's Radhi and I'm Jay's sister.

• 4:53Jay Shetty?

  You're definitely not my sister.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, but that's why I want things.

• 4:55Jay Shetty?

  We're not related at all.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  No, we always have to say that.

• 4:58Jay Shetty?

  We have nothing related about us whatsoever.

• 5:03Jay Shetty?

  So I'm gonna do an intro because it's the way we do the show. So which one's my camera, that one?

• 5:09Speaker 02

  This one.

• 5:10Jay Shetty?

  So our first guest on the show is the number one person in my life. She's a vegan recipe developer, a plant-based dietitian and an Ayurveda enthusiast. Her hilarious, fun and entertaining videos steal our hearts every single week on Instagram and her recipes make our mouth water. My first guest is none other than my wife, my love, my everything, my soul, Radhi Devlukiyashetty.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks.

• 5:44Jay Shetty?

  I love you.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  That was a nice intro.

• 5:45Jay Shetty?

  Thanks.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  I didn't pay him to say that or make him food to say that.

• 5:48Jay Shetty?

  Thanks for doing this for me.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Thanks. Thanks for having me as your first guest. I'm excited. What are we gonna talk about?

• 5:54Jay Shetty?

  So as you're gonna find, one of the first things people always ask us wherever we are is if we're brother and sister.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that happens all the time. Even if we're like holding hands or walking in a couple way. People will be like, hey, you guys, brother and sister, are you related? And we're like, would that not be really weird right now if we were related?

• 6:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, when we're holding hands, when you're like lying on my shoulder.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  On a plane, yeah.

• 6:16Jay Shetty?

  But definitely, definitely not related, no relation.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  In any way.

• 6:20Jay Shetty?

  The eyes are not exactly the same color either.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:22Jay Shetty?

  So, but, but anyway, so it's never easy to prepare for a conversation with your own wife. So what we did is that we asked some of our friends to make a list of topics that we thought would be most interesting for all of you to hear us talk about.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:36Jay Shetty?

  So we're gonna go down the list. So the first thing that our friends thought we should talk about is how did we meet?

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Okay, so how did we meet? Do you wanna tell the story?

• 6:45Jay Shetty?

  No, you tell it.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  No, it's okay, you can tell it better.

• 6:47Jay Shetty?

  Okay, I'll tell it.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, you tell it.

• 6:49Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so the first time I actually met Radhi was before I became a monk. And I met her very briefly. I thought she was beautiful and, and, and attractive, but I didn't really think anything of it. Like I just, I genuinely just was so focused on what I was doing at life at that time. And I was so spiritually inclined and spiritually focused that I, I literally didn't think anything of it.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, and my mom introduced me to you.

• 7:18Jay Shetty?

  Yes, so I should tell that story.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:20Jay Shetty?

  So actually, I met Radhi's mom even before I met her.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:25Jay Shetty?

  And so I was training to become a monk and I met Radhi's mom. And I was asked to show her how to do a particular service at the temple. So I had to take her around, et cetera. Now, the incredible thing about this is that that is the only time.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  You ever.

• 7:44Jay Shetty?

  While I was there, that I was ever asked to show another person how to do this service. So the one day that I had to show someone how to do this particular service, this voluntary service at the temple, was the one day that her mum turned up. And at that time, I didn't know she had a daughter. I didn't know anything about this lady. I was like, oh, she's around my mum's age. And, and she was, she was wonderful and, and we got along. But I was just showing her what to do and then literally didn't speak to her.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  No, and then my mum wanted me to get more involved in, um, and I really wanted to get more involved in, um, like the spiritual side of my life. And so she met him and wanted me to, um, get introduced to the youth community there. And so she passed on my number to you, but you passed it on to your sister.

• 8:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So I passed it on to my sister. I was like, no, I need to stay focused, do my thing. And my sister's very spiritually inclined too. Big shout out to Amy. And, and then, yeah, and then you guys got connected and you became friends.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. And actually at that point, my mum had said to me, oh, you know, I met this really nice, um, really nice guy at the temple. And she was like to me, oh, after I met him, I prayed and I was like, I hope my daughter meets somebody like this. I know he's gonna be a monk, but I hope she meets someone that's like this, cause he seems really nice. Little did he know what was gonna happen.

• 9:00Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah. Go on.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  And then, um, no, what happened? He became a monk. I heard you speak. Oh, I heard him speak all the time because he used to do lots of, um, youth programs or university talks. And so.

• 9:15Jay Shetty?

  Session on philosophy, meditation.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, philosophy, meditation. And I was just like, oh my gosh, he's such an incredible speaker. And the way that he, um, makes such incredible wisdom so relevant to us who were like young teenagers or, yeah, yeah, not young teenagers.

• 9:31Jay Shetty?

  You were a teenager.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  I was a teenager. I was still a teenager.

• 9:33Jay Shetty?

  No, you weren't. No, you weren't.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  No way. Hold on for that.

• 9:36Jay Shetty?

  One thing you're gonna realise.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm so bad at time.

• 9:39Jay Shetty?

  I'm the one who remembers all the dates.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  I'm like.

• 9:41Jay Shetty?

  I'm the one who remembers everything.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't remember anything. I barely remember things happened like two years ago. Um, so no, I wasn't a teenager. I was out of university, which feels like a long time ago. So I was in my twenties and yeah, I saw him speaking. I just thought it was so incredible how he was able to articulate such, yeah, such deep wisdom in a way that was so relevant to people who were so young and, and probably wouldn't have been so interested in reading a book about it. And so I was in awe of him and he also looked really cool. He had like a bald head. He didn't look like the type of person who was gonna be speaking about these things. He had like tattoos and a bald head, but then he was in robes. And I was like, this is really, really cool, but weird at the same time.

• 10:22Jay Shetty?

  He was so strange.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:25Jay Shetty?

  And, and then it was, then when I left being a monk, which is a whole story in itself, we can talk about that another day. When I, when I left being a monk, her and my sister were really, really close.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:36Jay Shetty?

  And me and my sister are really, really close. I trust my sister. She's one of my best friends. And I sat down with her one day and she said, well, you know what? Radhi likes someone. And, and I was just like, oh, who? And I was thinking she was gonna say some other person's name. And she's like, she really likes you. And I was like, oh, I, I really like her. Like, I'd love to get to know her better. And we'd, we'd interacted, we'd had, we'd got to know each other a bit better because we'd organised charity events together, et cetera. And so I'd seen her not in the role of being a girlfriend, obviously, or someone that I was dating. I'd seen her interact with other people, other, other humans, uh, inside a project management organisation,

• 11:18Jay Shetty?

  organising events. So I'd seen her personality and like observed how she behaved around certain people, how she had talked to people, how she interacted with people. And, and based on all those things, I, I thought she was a great person. So when my sister told me that, I was, I was secretly quite happy as well.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  And I always heard about him through his sister and his sister would talk about him with so much love and affection and he treats her like. She's his baby, no matter how old she gets, she's literally like his baby. And I used to see like conversations between them, I used to be like, oh my gosh, he's so sweet. Like, he's so sweet, even though he's, yeah, he's gone off being a monk, but he was still really, really caring and loving towards, towards his sister and his family. And then, yeah, I had told her that I liked him before, before he knew about it, or before you'd probably even thought about it.

• 12:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. So then that was it, really, that's how we met. We almost met before I became a monk.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:10Jay Shetty?

  Barely connected, et cetera. Yeah, never had conversations, never spoke, but, but had just seen each other in our own elements.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:18Jay Shetty?

  And then, when I left, left being a monk, later that year, we, we started going out. And so that was around the, towards the end of twenty thirteen.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  And then it just went really fast. We both, we both kind of, as soon as we spoke about it, we both knew that we wanted to be with each other. And we were really certain about it, and it could have gone really wrong, but we were like, we could have both been really crazy. Um, but it ended up just working out, we both really had kind of understood each other just by observing one another, I guess. There were a few surprises, I'm sure, but um, we, yeah, we got along straight away and we were both pretty much went from, yeah, I pretty like you, to, yeah, I love you, in like a day. And then it was like, yeah, we want to get married in like a week. As in, we didn't get married in a week, but we wanted to, we said we wanted to get married eventually in a week after that. And then we ended up spending a lot of time at each other's homes, right? He was spending a lot of time at my house for ages.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, that's pretty much where I took him to have all of our dates. Because I loved being around my family and I was like, best of both worlds, I can be around the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and the people that I've spent most of my life with. Um, and so, yeah, most of our dates would, would involve my parents. Um, and my sister and my brother-in-law at the time. And so we got to know each other kind of in our own environments as well, really fast, which I think helped. Us fast forward a lot easier.

• 13:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. And I remember that my sister gave me like an action plan. She's like, this is what you're gonna get along on. This is what you're gonna struggle with. And this is gonna be a challenges. And and I definitely owe it to her to bring us together.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I completely agree. She was.

• 13:51Jay Shetty?

  Us being together, my sister, definitely. And and she was like, because she knows me so well, and I feel she got to know you well as well. She was just like, this is what you guys are gonna agree on. This is what you're not gonna agree on. This, yeah, it was just, it was so nice to have that.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:05Jay Shetty?

  Because you could go into a relationship having more understanding of the other person.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Can I just say, one of the things she said that we wouldn't get along on is Bollywood, because I loved Bollywood songs and films at the time. But you like a good Bollywood song.

• 14:17Jay Shetty?

  Questionable.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  On cinema.

• 14:18Jay Shetty?

  Questionable, yeah, questionable. But I decided to get over that.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:22Jay Shetty?

  And you, you barely, yeah.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:24Jay Shetty?

  You've gotta go over it.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Still have a love for it.

• 14:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but yeah, we spent a lot of time in each other's parents' homes and with our families, which was great because you had to be yourself. I used to love what your mom used to tell you.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  My mom was so funny. So obviously, like, it was a person to her that was, you know, we were dating. And so usually you would put in a lot of effort in the way that you dress and doing your hair when the person you're dating comes over. But yeah, I would literally be in the same clothes that I was wearing like the whole day, which was pretty much like pajama bottoms and and a really scruffy top. And my mom would be like, do you not wanna maybe, you know, put a different top on or you don't wanna change your trousers? I was like, no, mom, if he can't love me in what I'm wearing right now, which is what he's probably gonna see me in for the rest of his life, then it's just not meant to be. Okay, we have, like, he has to love me for. And she went, okay, but you could try, you know, a little bit. I was like, no. And it worked, so.

• 15:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And she's so beautiful and cute. Like, even when she's dressed all hobo chic, I'm just like, I love it, you know? And and it's quite nice, actually. Like, I genuinely believe this, like, I rarely see her with makeup on.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:28Jay Shetty?

  And so it's it's fun when you when you fall in love with someone based on who they are and their personality and their energy. And all of that beauty shines through. So, yeah, I love you. So that leads us nicely on to the next point that our friends wanted to discuss, which is what's the key to starting off a relationship well?

• 15:47Speaker 01

  What's the key to starting?

• 15:48Jay Shetty?

  Like, what's the key to starting it off well? So one thing for me was was this, that because we didn't see each other in dating environments.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:57Jay Shetty?

  A lot. I feel like dating environments put this pressure of being in an interview. So I compared dates to interviews. It's almost like you have to put your best foot forward. You wear your best clothes. You try and say all the best things. And even if it's not the best, actually, it's us trying to be right. And that's what we do in interviews. When you go and interview for a job, it's like you wanna be the right fit.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  For that person.

• 16:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that's what happens in a dating scenario. Like you're sitting opposite a desk, just like you're doing an interview. And then someone's asking you a question and you're like, okay, well, what do I have to say to make them like me? Or to say the right thing, whereas we didn't really get to do that. And I'm not saying that that was a conscious choice, but now when I look back at it and I reflect on it and introspect on it, I'm like, we didn't really get an opportunity to date in that sense. And that means that I got exposed to the real her either by seeing her in a charity organization, seeing her in a real life scenario, how does she treat normal people? And then how she is with her family. And I'm like, that's the best view you can get of someone. And so when I look at that in terms of giving advice or tips or whatever,

• 16:59Jay Shetty?

  my recommendation is be around people that you're thinking about being with in an environment where they're just being themselves.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:07Jay Shetty?

  Because chances are, if you like them the way they are when they are with other people, then you're likely to love them when they're with you too.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:14Jay Shetty?

  And so often, we only see people that we are considering being romantic with or dating with, et cetera. We only see them in dates and dinners and movie nights and whatever it is, right?

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Yeah, I agree. I feel like you think, and I also have seen people with the people that they're closest to, because you can't really fake it with the people that you're closest to. I mean, and if you can, you could do it for a really short period of time. And you also end up seeing them being probably at their worst and at their best, because you can be the most loving to your family, but you can also be the worst person towards your family, because they're the ones that accept it. And so, yeah, I feel like you get a good image of who the person is through, through interacting with them that way.

• 17:50Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Good point.

• 17:52Jay Shetty?

  Thanks.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Nicely said.

• 17:54Jay Shetty?

  It's true, yeah. And, and, and the other thing is, so when we first got together, I'd left being a monk probably like seven months before. So it'd been like a seven month gap. And I didn't have a job.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  I had.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  I had no job. I had no money.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:10Jay Shetty?

  I was getting rejected left, right and centre from every single place that I was applying to because I'd been a monk for three years and no one wanted to hire someone who had monk written on their resume. Like, no one's like, oh, yeah, I would love your transferable skills. Like, you know, like, what do you know? And so, oh, you can meditate for four hours. Great. We need that in our organisation. So it was just, there was no, I had nothing really.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:34Jay Shetty?

  And that's a great way to start dating someone because I remember I used to save up. So I used to like try and work part time and I was doing everything I could.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  You were tutoring.

• 18:44Jay Shetty?

  I was tutoring. So I would like, I would be tutoring young people for their exams or university exams, et cetera. And I'd, I'd be making like, you know, fifteen pounds an hour or whatever it was. And I remember I'd save up so I could take her out on a date at the end of the month and so that we could do something fun. And I loved that because I met her at a time when, when I had nothing and she accepted me for it.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:06Jay Shetty?

  I love her for that. And also her, her parents were always really cool about it. So sometimes that can be a big pressure from parents and expectations. But her parents were really cool about it. They never made me feel uncomfortable about it or anything. And my parents obviously were very comfortable with me. They would just like follow your heart, do what's right for you. Very, very encouraging. And I'm, I'm not, I don't come from a well off background at all or anything. So it's not that I had a backup plan, but my parents were still very, very encouraging and supportive.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, that was never in my mind, to be honest. I was, I knew I wanted to be with you. And so I was like to my mum, even if we end up living in a really tiny house, just by like near the temple that I used to go to and just, I know that I want to spend my life with him. So whatever ends up being, and you were really, really enthusiastic and you had so much purpose. And even from the beginning, like you were so driven to do whatever you wanted to do. I didn't know what that was at the time, but you were so driven that I just knew whatever it was, whatever we were meant to be was what was gonna happen. And so, and I knew you would never, you'd always like gonna be there to take care of me. And I felt that from the beginning. Like, I always felt supported. You wanna hold hands? Yeah. I'm not good at PDA, so I'm gonna not do that.

• 20:16Jay Shetty?

  Oh, my God. You rejected our camera.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  There you go. Um yeah, so that was, it was, it was really nice. And I feel like he had a lot of the qualities that I always felt. I would always grow up saying, oh, I really want a husband that was like my dad. Like, I love my dad and he was always someone that I felt very protected and supported by. And so I definitely, now looking back at it, I felt those qualities in him as I got to know him. And so I thought, yeah, that was, that was nice. And my parents, yeah, my parents, my parents didn't care either. I always thought it would be, you know, you always think in Indian families, that's gonna be an issue. But they loved him from the start. He's got really good, I don't know whether you guys have noticed, but he's got a really good way of saying things and, and winning people over by his words. So, um.

• 20:56Jay Shetty?

  It's real good.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  I know, that's why it's genuine and it's sweet. So from those interactions, I think my parents trusted him very easily as well.

• 21:03Jay Shetty?

  I really get along with your parents.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  I know, they are the bomb.

• 21:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, another thing I think that's really important at the start of a relationship is self-awareness and setting expectations. So I feel that having done the work as a monk and having been through that experience myself, I'd gained some self-awareness. So I was really aware of what type of partner I needed in my life. I was really aware of what I needed in my life to flourish, to thrive.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:33Jay Shetty?

  And so when I met someone, it was very easy and simple for me to communicate my expectations to her.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:39Jay Shetty?

  And be like, I, I, I remember one of the things I said, and this is not offensive at all, it's, it's genuinely how I felt at the time. And I said that if you want a husband who goes to Ikea on the weekends and, and to the cinema, like, I'm not that guy. And I didn't mean that as a bad thing, if anyone is that. What I meant that as is, I wanna be someone who lives their lives of purpose and I want my life to be about service. And I want my life to have an impact on people's lives. And I need a partner that's gonna understand that, embrace that, and roll with that as well. And wants to live not a normal life, because that wasn't gonna work for me if I really wanted to have an impact. If I really wanted to make a difference, if I really wanted to serve. And so that wasn't an ego thing, it wasn't me thinking I'm, I'm better or above or special.

• 22:22Jay Shetty?

  It was me saying, this is a priority for me.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:25Jay Shetty?

  And I don't need it to be your priority, but I need you to understand it to be mine. And I think this is really important that we should feel that if we're genuinely committed to something, when you make someone aware, and same back from her side too, like when she, and she'll share hers, but when she's made me aware of what her priorities are and what's important to her, you start respecting what's important to the other person, rather than expecting them to trade theirs. Right? And that's usually what happens in relationships in the beginning is, instead of showing respect for the other people's passion, you expect them to change their passion for yours, or compromise and be excited about your stuff. And, and I don't think that that's the right way. I think it's us being clear about ourselves,

• 23:07Jay Shetty?

  communicating that, and then respecting what the other person communicates.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  And I think we discussed that really early on, actually.

• 23:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  And just to be clear, he has come to IK with me on the weekends.

• 23:18Jay Shetty?

  And movies too.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, movies too. Um, but yeah, no, I, I understood the, the point of it. And I remember at that time when he was really pushing for what he wanted to do, he was very, very busy. And so there were certain things, I mean, he spent a lot of time with me and my family. But we had just agreed that, look, if there was extended things that I had to go to, because with families, there's always other things that you have to go to, like family, friends, or relatives' houses for every event possible. And if that happened, then I knew that I was okay with him not coming to them. And I said that to him from the beginning.

• 23:48Jay Shetty?

  You're amazing as well for this.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  If you need to go and do something which is, I know for you, more important, not because, for, for the purpose that you want to live, then I totally understand that comes above you just coming to another party, which people are not probably gonna remember. Like, it's, it's okay. And I think that was really, actually really important for us, because you can always hear what other people say, like, family members or friends or whatever will always have a different opinion. And so as long as you feel like you have discussed it and you really understand that person's point of view, then you don't feel kind of, it doesn't rub off on you when people say things, because you understand it deeply. Whereas if you don't, then I think it's really easy to get swayed by other people's view of life, or other people's way of

• 24:32Speaker 01

  relationships, or whatever it is, like you can get, that can rub off on you very easily. But if you really understand that person and why they're doing it, I think that can make a big difference to you supporting them in why then, why they're doing it. Oh my god, this, this holding hands thing.

• 24:48Jay Shetty?

  And we had, and we had to, you know, realize, and I really appreciated that from her, like I, I really valued that. Because it wasn't about seeing something as less, it was about seeing something as a priority for me.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:01Jay Shetty?

  And and having someone who understood that and trusted me and and allow me to have that space strengthened us. And we also very quickly became our, we became a team.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Jay Shetty?

  So when it came to our families or like demands and for anyone who's from an Asian family or an Indian family knows that.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  It's a big deal.

• 25:21Jay Shetty?

  It's a big deal. Like family is a big deal and it gets very involved in a relationship. And I remember saying to her really early on, I was like, it's me and you, like, we're a team, like, it's us. And and we have to think like that because we've got to wake up next to each other every single day of our lives. We've got to go to sleep together with each other every day of our lives. We've got to be in each other's face and space every single day, each other of our lives. So it's it's us. We have to be a team. And and then very quickly, like, I found that when when it was anything to do with my family or my commitments, et cetera, then I would have her back. And then whenever she was anywhere and it was about me, she would have my back. And that built like a really strong bond early on for us.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  I completely agree.

• 26:01Jay Shetty?

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• 26:44Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favourite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last and it completely shifted the energy of the room.

• 27:26Jay Shetty?

  Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980.

• 28:10Jay Shetty?

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• 28:32Speaker 01

  And even if we wanted to discuss it between us and we had a different opinion to the other person, at least to the like people that we were speaking to, if we had each other's back, the other person felt supported and comforted by that. Whereas I feel if you're, yeah, it's just so hard to fight that battle between the person that you love and like the people that you've spent your whole life with. But I think when you know you're going to, when you understand the reason behind it, I just, yeah, I keep coming back to that, but I really think it makes such a difference.

• 29:01Jay Shetty?

  Third topic that our friends want us to discuss is love languages.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:07Jay Shetty?

  And realizing and recognizing our own love languages and the love languages of someone else. So if you don't know what the love languages are, it's a great book by Gary Chapman. I've made lots of videos on it. There are five love languages. They are quality time, touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. So all of us have multiple love languages, but we have a priority, a hierarchy order. And we both mostly value one or two as our top love languages. And everyone has them, so you can think about yours as well.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  I remember earlier on in our relationship, when we were talking about spending time with each other's family or even each other, you said something to me which has stuck with me for a really long time.

• 29:48Jay Shetty?

  I'm scared now.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  No, it was really good. He was saying how, you know, we can spend so much quantity of time with people and it can be spent doing so many different things. You're with each other, but you're actually doing like, okay, you're watching a film or you're on your phones or you're spending the whole day together. But how much are you actually interacting with each other? And so I really loved that he would always choose quality time over necessarily, over like quantity. So even if he's spending a short amount of time with me or my family or my friends, he would always make sure he's got, like, they've got his full attention. Like, he would really make them feel, and he genuinely felt that way, that he was investing his full self into that moment. And I think that makes such a difference. And I never understood that at the time because it was always like, you know, when you're spending time with family, it's just family time.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  But it really made me think about how I spend time with people rather than the amount of time I spend time with people. And as I've seen you do that while we've been together, I just think I've noticed how much people appreciate your full attention and how deeply you connect to them, even in such a short space of time. Whereas I've been like the type of person who can spend an hour with someone and my mind can be somewhere else. And it's a training, though it is, it's a training thing, definitely. And I've learned that from you. But it's an incredible quality to have, to be able to invest your full self into a conversation or a person. And that's why like he, it's actually really annoying. He remembers everything, like he remembers everybody's name, everything I said like five weeks ago. Everything I was wearing, like it's an amazing quality, but it can also be very annoying because I don't have that memory.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  So he's like, no, you said this like three weeks ago. It's like, no, I didn't. But I don't have like a book that I write things down in, so I have to take his word for it. But yeah.

• 31:28Jay Shetty?

  Five almonds a day, guys, five.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Five almonds, yes.

• 31:31Jay Shetty?

  As my mom would tell me, but no, I, thank you. I really appreciate that.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember that from quality time.

• 31:36Jay Shetty?

  And this is where it comes to using your skills and talents. Like she'd always make an effort to like, cook amazing stuff for my family. I remember when you made my sister a minion cake.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:44Jay Shetty?

  For her birthday.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  That took me a day and a half.

• 31:46Jay Shetty?

  And it looked epic, like it looks so good, like it looked, and I love minions too. So it was, it was so cute. And, and my mom still remembers the first tort you ever made.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  When I first came over, yeah.

• 31:57Jay Shetty?

  When you first came over. And it's just, it's those things. So, you know, using your talents, using your skills. And, and people appreciate that even more than like taking a week or taking time, like she's saying like quantity, but the, the quality of a thought.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:12Jay Shetty?

  Right. Even when people say like, it's the thought that counts. It's not. It's the quality of the thought that counts. Like, that's, that's where we make an impact in people's lives. And so back, going back to love languages. So this was an interesting lesson for me in relationships.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  It took a while for us to get there.

• 32:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Definitely took a while.

• 32:31Jay Shetty?

  It did.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  And we got it really wrong for a long time. Like it was, yeah, it was definitely been a journey for sure. Because you always end up trying to give the person what you want. Like it's, it's such a natural thing.

• 32:44Jay Shetty?

  She's stealing my point.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry. I forgot it's your show.

• 32:48Jay Shetty?

  No, it's your show.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no, I was just saying that it's so, I'm just thinking about it back because I'm thinking about all the things I got wrong. But it's so easy to always want to give other people what you love receiving or what you love doing for that person. Like, and I feel like your love languages can be different in what you like giving to other people and what you like receiving from other people. I love cooking for people and I really appreciate a good meal. But I wouldn't necessarily say that that's my way of showing love. It's not necessarily my way that I feel love given to me. And yeah, I think it took a lot of trial and error.

• 33:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  It was a serious experiment going on for a couple of years.

• 33:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Until.

• 33:24Jay Shetty?

  And she's holding back right now, but Litt Mubadi is hilarious. Like, she's, she's the funniest person I know. She makes me laugh the most.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  I'm a nervous right now.

• 33:32Jay Shetty?

  And when, yeah, and she's, she's getting into it. She's getting into it. You just need to go find some stories on Instagram. But when I, when I first met her, and when you see her, you're like, oh, she's an elegant.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:43Jay Shetty?

  Elegant, graceful, young woman. And, and I was just like, and I was just like, okay, so maybe she likes, like, like.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:52Jay Shetty?

  Grand gestures and elegant posh places. Like, that's what I thought. And this just shows us how A, the media makes us assume what people like. Or we, based on how someone appears, we assume what they like. And so that's what I did. I got it completely wrong. And I remember organising our first date. We went to watch a theatre show, which was actually really fun. And then we went to this restaurant that I booked. And this restaurant's called Lacanda Locatelli.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Which he must have, like, tutored for about a month to afford that one day date. Literally.

• 34:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it was expensive. And this restaurant is like highly in demand, like David Beckham goes there. And it's, it's one of these, like, you know, very posh, very grand restaurant. And I thought that's what I needed to do. And I was totally wrong. Like, we sat there. She looked so uninterested in this space.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  And he, and I had to wear heels and I don't wear heels. Like, literally, it was like, I was in a dress I wouldn't normally wear because I thought that's what he wanted. So I was literally in like a dress that, like a really girly dress, which I wouldn't normally wear. And heels, which I normally wouldn't wear. And so we were both sitting in this restaurant. And I was really hungry at the end of it. And I said to him at the end, I was like, look, even if you just take me on a walk in a really good supermarket. Or what do they call it here? Grocery store? Grocery store, supermarket. I was like, that is like the most epic day you could take me on. Get me a few treats from like the, from the shelves. We'll go down the gluten free vegan aisle. That would be the best day. And so after that. I think you kind of started understanding.

• 35:16Jay Shetty?

  I think I still got it wrong a few times.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:19Jay Shetty?

  I think it was just, and this is my point, like, we all get stuff wrong because of previous experiences, the media, what we think, like, all that kind of stuff. And I just kept, I got it wrong for a while because I just kept thinking about it. And then I was like, okay, she likes food. Okay, let's, then I, then I had a moment where it's like, oh, she likes food. So then all I did was buy her cards with food puns and food jokes.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Which I really liked.

• 35:39Jay Shetty?

  And then we only went to like food places for all our dates. So I was starting to get closer.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  You did. You took me on a, a date where we went cooking at like a Jamie Oliver thing.

• 35:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that was really good.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  That was fun.

• 35:48Jay Shetty?

  Oh, yeah, that was a good day.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did good. You did good.

• 35:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Um, but yeah, it did take a lot. And even when I was, and he's a gifts person.

• 35:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. So I'm gifts and words of affirmation.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  And I think I'm definitely words of affirmation and quality time, maybe.

• 36:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think so.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, quality time. I'm not so much of a gift person. I don't think I ever really have been. Even like on my birthdays and stuff, like all I really remember growing up is my dad would just take a day off and spend that time with me. And I used to just love that aspect of it rather than the gifts. I do like gifts, but they're just not my main thing. So I was trying to buy a gift for you and he wanted like an iPad type thing.

• 36:24Jay Shetty?

  No, I wanted an iPad.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  You want, okay, fine. I thought he wanted an iPad type thing. And so I was like looking around.

• 36:30Jay Shetty?

  You thought I wanted a tablet.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I thought he wanted a tablet. And so I was literally looking around for the best spec and like really, really good like details of whatever was good and also good pricing.

• 36:41Jay Shetty?

  A good price.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Because obviously like a good bargain is, is you need that if you're into.

• 36:44Jay Shetty?

  Good drive, yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, if you're good drive, you need a good bargain. And so I was looking around and I found this amazing Asus tablet.

• 36:51Jay Shetty?

  What is Asus?

• 36:52Speaker 01

  And Asus is a good brand, everybody. And so I thought, look, this looks like a really good one. Let me buy it. Got it, packed it up, gave it to him. I have never seen disappointment, like so bad in my life from opening a gift because when he says he wants an, like a tablet, he wanted an iPad. And so I learned that he likes really like good quality.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Gifts, which I probably still haven't got. Now I just tell him to buy his own gifts.

• 37:18Jay Shetty?

  But last year, she organised the most incredible surprise birthday party. So I've loved surprises and this is another thing about our childhood, etc. I've loved surprises since I was a kid.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:30Jay Shetty?

  Because my mum would always surprise me on my birthday. And so I'd really encourage you to reflect on where your preferences and priorities and things that you love. Get like, where does that come from? So for me, my love for surprises in life and in everything comes from my mum surprising me on my birthday. And I've never, as you grow up, surprises become harder and harder to do for people. And last year, she organised the most epic birthday surprise ever. So it happened two months after my birthday, so I was not expecting it at all. She told me she was like cooking and catering for a friend's event. So she was cooking this whole week, like working so hard on all of this stuff. And I was just like, how important is this friend? Because she was going through extreme lengths.

• 38:14Jay Shetty?

  And I was like, wow, like she's really dedicated to this friend. And that was cool, like I appreciated it. And I was like, I love seeing her in her element and loving cooking for someone that she loves. And that was beautiful. And then I think I'm going to an event with my manager and my team the same night. So I'm like, oh, sorry, I won't be able to make it to your event, etc. Like I've got this, you've got that, have fun, like I hope it goes really, really well. And then I turn up, I open the door to this event. And it's like all of my friends from LA, like everyone that I love, everyone that really loves and believes in me. Like they were all there, everyone showed up. She made sure that literally every single person that I care about was there.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  I was like a stalker girlfriend, looking through his phone at everyone that he mentioned. I'd be like, let me find that person's number, let me get that person's email address. Yeah.

• 38:58Jay Shetty?

  And literally it was just genuinely after my wedding, again, married to her, obviously. After that, the best thing that's ever happened to me, like it was that good. It was just amazing. Like it was the most beautiful event. It was really heartfelt, really meaningful. We had an illusionist. I love magicians and illusionists.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 39:16Jay Shetty?

  I had an incredible show, an incredible DJ playing violin to some of my favorite songs. All my favorite people were there from from LA specifically because it was in LA. And I was just so blown away, like genuinely, I was like speechless for the first time in my life. Because she'd completely outdone any expectation I could have ever had.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Which was the hardest thing ever for me because it was the first time I wanted to show him that I really understood his love language. And also like the effort that goes that that you go through to make something like that happen. One, I had no idea until I actually started going through it. And usually I would get to a point where I would find like an obstacle. And I'd be like, you know what, it's just, I'll just take him somewhere instead, like forget it, I don't need to do this. But he puts in a lot of thought into a lot of the dates that he plans. And so I really, really wanted to show him that I like, that I really understand it. And like that I've observed things about him and I really notice what he loves and and appreciates. And so it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Like it was so hard.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  I'm not a planner. I'm not good at organizing. I'm I'm just, it's not not my like, I wouldn't say it's my top three skills, let's just say that. But I was just so happy that I did it because and it was genuinely like the love that I have for him is the only thing that got me through it. Because otherwise I would have just basically never called me for party planning, never. I'm not a party planner.

• 40:36Jay Shetty?

  I'm so blessed to have her in my life because and she cooked for everyone too, so.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  I did, yeah.

• 40:40Jay Shetty?

  She cooked for everyone. She organized the event. There were like eighty people there. It was amazing. And and I'm so grateful to you for doing that. Like literally it was the best thing.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  I'm glad you liked it.

• 40:47Jay Shetty?

  Could have ever.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Thank God, because imagine you hated it.

• 40:49Jay Shetty?

  No, I loved it. I loved it. It was amazing. And and yeah, it was just, it was incredible. And it just shows like we've been together now for nearly six years.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:59Jay Shetty?

  And it takes time to learn about each other. It takes time to grow each other. But the point is, are you waking up enthusiastic and energetic every day to fall in love with that person again? Like, that's the question you have to ask yourself. Like, are you looking for more reasons to get that person to? Change for you, or are you looking for more reasons to be like, no, I want us to fall more in love. I want us to learn about each other. I want to give more to you every day. I want to be better for you every day. Or are you looking for how that person can be better for you?

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 41:30Jay Shetty?

  And if it's the other way around, then most likely that relationship's not going to last too long. Or it's going to be very one way. But if it's like, how can I be better for that person every single day? And it may take time, and it has taken us time.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:42Jay Shetty?

  To to completely understand each other more, etcetera. And we've been through a lot, and I want to get to that as well. But that, you know, it takes time and it's okay. As long as you're waking up every day with that intention, with that motive, with that desire.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I definitely think it's about what you feel you're bringing to the other person, rather than what you feel you can get from the other person. I think that makes such a difference because.

• 42:01Jay Shetty?

  When both people do that.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, when both people do that, when you feel like, okay, well, this is what I can provide. Like, and I love what you say about everyone having different skills, because even in a relationship, I think I have such, we are very different in a lot of ways. In majority of the ways, we're very different.

• 42:16Jay Shetty?

  I had to say we're totally different.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so instead of seeing that as things that are taking us apart from each other, I think we really tried to say, okay, cool, I love being in the kitchen, for example. And you're really good at doing all the math stuff to do with bills, and I really don't want to do that. And so instead of trying to be like, oh, no, we should be equal in like, you know, doing this and doing that. No, let's just play to our strengths. And I think that made a huge difference because I didn't feel pressured to do things which I really don't feel comfortable doing. If I had to do them, I would have. But thankfully, we both kind of go to areas which the other person is maybe not so good at.

• 42:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  And so we just played to our strengths and and we weren't annoyed at the other person for not being able to do those things. We just understood that we have skills in different areas and we can contribute to the relationship with those skills, rather than trying to be like all-rounders in all areas, which doesn't work for us.

• 43:05Jay Shetty?

  And and the key to that, I love that, and the key to that is valuing what the other person brings as equal to you.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  As equal, yeah.

• 43:12Jay Shetty?

  Right? So it's like, it's not saying, oh, if your skill is different to mine, but my skill does this, like my skill fulfills this, or my skill sorts this out. Like, that's more important. And I think that's where it gets hard, where we either try and equalize our skills, which I agree with you is not a good idea, it's good to play to your strengths. Or the opposite thing people do is they do their skill, but then they think their skill adds more value to the relationship. And I think that, again, just ruins it. Like, it's like you're on a team, like when you look at a sports team. One player can't say I'm more important than the rest of the team. It's a team game and I'm gonna try and do a food analogy now.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:48Jay Shetty?

  I'm trying to give a food analogy now.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Don't do it, don't try.

• 43:50Jay Shetty?

  Like, no, like, hear me out, hear me out.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Okay, go on.

• 43:52Jay Shetty?

  Okay, like, one ingredient can't be like to the other ingredient, I'm more important than you.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's good, yeah, yeah, because you need all of them.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Unless you're salt.

• 44:01Jay Shetty?

  No, but still, but.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, fine, I'll give you that, I'll give you that.

• 44:04Jay Shetty?

  You can't have one ingredient that's more important than the other ingredient and.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's true.

• 44:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  I totally agree. No, I agree. You did, you did great. That was a great food analogy. Um, but I remember this actually because when we, I've been a housewife for a while, like I, I stayed, worked from home and I'm studying and stuff, so. I remember.

• 44:21Jay Shetty?

  Well, you work from home.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  I work from home, but I still, I, as in, yeah, I'm more of a housewife than I am working. And I love that. I love doing, I love cooking and I love doing all the things that I do do. But when we were in New York, I remember he was working at that time for Huffington Post, so he was out. Most of the day and he would just come back in the evening. And he would come back and I would have just finished cooking. And he would always be like, oh, like, can I do anything for you? Can I wash up? Like, you've been working hard all day. And that for me was such a big thing because it's like, actually, in my mind, it was like, he's been working hard all day. But he would come home and ask me if I needed a massage or if I wanted him to wash up or do anything in the house and. Like, a lot of people think that that should just be a given, like, oh, like, yeah, fine, I've been doing the house stuff all day, so come home and you should be washing the dishes.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  But I just think, actually, if you see us, that's such a sweet thing for him to have done in my eyes because he could not do that. We could all just not do a lot of things, but if we put in that extra bit of effort and show that person that. I value you and what you're doing just as much as I value what I'm doing, like, people, you know, going to work seems like. You're going out and doing the hard work, but you also saw that I was doing the washing or the cleaning or the cooking. And you valued it in the same way as going to work. And I thought that was a really. Yeah, that was a, that was a big thing for me and he's, he's been like that the whole time, so.

• 45:36Jay Shetty?

  I, I think it's the same. I, I think for me as well, like, she was. So good at doing that, like she would put her heart into it, right? It wasn't just

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:44Jay Shetty?

  Doing it. And I think that's the point here. It's it's not about doing the activity. It's about putting your heart into it. Like, it would always be like, oh, let me. It was like the other day, I was just like, we just got back from India. And when I'm in India, I eat dosas a lot. Dosas are incredible. If you know what they are, if you don't know what they are, go get a dosa.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:59Jay Shetty?

  And and I love them. And I was literally just like, I miss dosas.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Every day, every morning. It was like, I miss having an Indian breakfast.

• 46:06Jay Shetty?

  She ordered a dosa maker and we had dosas.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  It went terribly wrong, everyone, terribly wrong.

• 46:11Jay Shetty?

  But still, I loved it. Like, it was it was it was the love in it. And I think that's the same. She believes in cooking with devotion and seasoning with love. And for me, she lives that every single day. Like, that's there's not a day when I don't feel like food is an offering of love. So then you can't help but value it. Like, it's not, you don't have to, it's not hard. It's not hard to value her. That's what I'm trying to say.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 46:35Jay Shetty?

  But yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  This is getting a bit sweet, isn't it?

• 46:38Jay Shetty?

  I know. Why don't you change it up?

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:40Jay Shetty?

  I'm leaving it to you to make it funny. See, see, I'm the romantic in the relationship. She's the comedy.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  This is always the case. Like, my, his cards to me.

• 46:47Jay Shetty?

  This is a rom com.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Yes, this is a rom com.

• 46:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  His cards to me are like the sweetest, really genuine, from the heart. And my cards are like funny, weird poems that are like, I really like your face. You don't know how to make cake. Like, literally, those are, that is what my cards were like. I don't think, I think maybe one out of fifteen cards were maybe somewhat like sweet and loving. But otherwise, yeah, I've always been the the jokester and you generally are the sweet one.

• 47:16Jay Shetty?

  You are.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:17Jay Shetty?

  You are. There's a, I'm gonna live up to my romantic tag in this relationship. This, I always say this to her because I mean it. And it's, I don't know who said it, but it's it's beautiful. And it said that, they said.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Oh, no. I know what he's gonna say. Everybody cue the cue the romantic music.

• 47:37Jay Shetty?

  And the tissues.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  And the cheese.

• 47:39Jay Shetty?

  The tissues out. Someone get the cheese board out. If you.

• 47:45Jay Shetty?

  They said, if you want her to fall in love with you, you have to make her laugh. But now every time she laughs, I'm the one who falls in love.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  And I'm pretty sure that's from a grime artist in London in some sort of a rap song.

• 47:58Jay Shetty?

  It's great, though. I mean, it's such a beauty. Anyway, I love it.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  It is a really, I really like it.

• 48:02Jay Shetty?

  Okay, topic number four. What's your favorite thing to do together? So our friends wanted us to discuss. This is easy.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  What's our favorite thing to do together? Eat.

• 48:10Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Sorry, that's my favorite thing to do. What's our favorite thing to do together?

• 48:15Jay Shetty?

  I had an easy answer for this. This is obviously difficult.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Okay, I like, um, what do we like? What do we like to do together?

• 48:23Jay Shetty?

  Mine was activities and experiences.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought it was like a specific one.

• 48:27Jay Shetty?

  No, like activities.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, we love doing that, like escape rooms. And we went to a virtual reality escape room the other day.

• 48:33Jay Shetty?

  That was really good. You organized that, yeah.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Uh, we went on a hike. Oh, thanks. We go on hikes and we just love doing, yeah, experiences. You're right. Experiences and activities. We do try and do like, we've gone through the thing of where we try and go shopping together or movies and stuff, but we generally find we have a lot more fun when we're doing activities where we're contributing to something together.

• 48:52Jay Shetty?

  Like one of the first dates we went on was Go Ape. And so for anyone who doesn't know what Go Ape is, Go Ape is like a assault course, but in the air. So you're like swinging around. It's like Tarzan kind of stuff. And, and we loved it because it was just like, it was active. We were both doing stuff together, helping each other out. We love escape rooms, even though there are times, I think we've evolved, we've evolved.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the first time I went on an escape with, to an escape room with him, I was like, we are never doing this again. Because I'm so relaxed and I'm just like, oh, you know, if we win, it's fine. If we don't win, it's the, like, you know, it's, we participated and that's what counts.

• 49:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm like, no.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  And he's like, come on, we have to do this. Get over there.

• 49:32Jay Shetty?

  I'm not angry.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  You're not angry, but you're like very enthusiastic. And so I'm sitting on the chair, like we're meant to be escaping a prison. And I'm just sitting there with like a hammer in my hand and he's like looking around everywhere, trying to search for it. He's like, why are you not helping?

• 49:44Jay Shetty?

  And then the trap door opens because she like.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I get it right anyway, just by being chilled out.

• 49:50Jay Shetty?

  So now I've realized, trust her. So we did that recently and I trusted her.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  And it was good and I actually got quite.

• 49:56Jay Shetty?

  You did well, you did well. We enjoyed it.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  We did, that was really fun.

• 49:59Jay Shetty?

  Activities and experiences, getting outdoors.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:01Jay Shetty?

  Doing stuff together, solving puzzles, something that engages us in talking, discussing. Achieving something together is a great day.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:10Jay Shetty?

  Achieving something together, when you, when we went for that cooking class, for example, like we cooked a meal together. Like that was fun and then we ate it. When you, when you create together.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:19Jay Shetty?

  It's such a special experience.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's so true, actually.

• 50:21Jay Shetty?

  And I think that more of us should find time with our other halves, or even people who are dating or getting to know, to, to create together.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 50:28Jay Shetty?

  You just learn more about the person. It's so much quicker, so much easier.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  We've also started spending a lot of time because of how our schedules work. Sometimes we end up just spending time together where we're just catching up and talking, which actually is quite nice. Because we didn't used to do that. And I think that used to get us to a point where we felt like we maybe didn't know each other as well as we wanted to. Or understand each other as well as we wanted to. But now we, we do take out time to just, yeah, like catch up and ask the other person about what's going on. Me more so than him, he used to do this anyway. But I now am asking a lot more questions and I, we really try to invest our interest into the other person, which is great.

• 51:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making. And that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

• 51:40Jay Shetty?

  And we love meditating together.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  And we love going to get vegan donuts together.

• 51:43Jay Shetty?

  So, yes, that's true. So I'm gonna go to meditation first.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Okay, fine.

• 51:46Jay Shetty?

  But literally when we met, I used to teach her philosophy and meditation, and I say this all the time. She's now a better meditator than me. She's more serious, she's more focused, she's more sincere, she's more devoted. It's amazing. Like, being able to have that in my life is so powerful. And that I put above anyone bringing in conscious, spiritual intention and energy into a relationship. That's above someone bringing money, that's above someone bringing anything else. Like, that's just the most powerful thing that you can bring into a relationship because it's it's helping you eternally. It's helping you for the rest of your life. And I think it's undervalued of how much bringing positive, beautiful, spiritual energy is into a relationship.

• 52:31Jay Shetty?

  And you've been doing that since day one in our relationship. Like, she literally, for the first, I think, first few years we were dating, she was like waking up at four AM and going to meditate with the monks every morning, right? Like, with with the community. And she did that, like, while she was working a job, while she was planning our wedding, while she was working at the hospital, et cetera, and all the rest of it. And so I feel that you've prioritized your spiritual practices so highly, and I love you for that. And it's made such a difference in our relationship. And for me, it's like, what can I do to let you keep having that? Like, what can I do to keep letting you be that light in our life? Because that's something that you can't buy. Like, you can't you can't buy that anywhere. You can't just make that happen anywhere.

• 53:15Jay Shetty?

  And and I value that more than any other contribution.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  And I learned all from him, so. I did. I learned, I actually learned it all from him. Like, he, him and my mom have been like the two, and my grandma, they've been the people who have really been the key factors of spirituality in my life. And obviously, my spiritual teacher too. But he has really shown me what. Leading a spiritual path and really focusing on it, what you can actually become from it. And I think that's a great motivation because all the qualities and everything that he is now that's positive has come from the time when he was a monk. I, I think, would you agree?

• 53:49Jay Shetty?

  A hundred percent.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. And yeah, I just really feel that seeing someone live it after they've really gone through an intense period of being in an intense spiritual mindset for that longer period. I really see those qualities in him day to day and how he reacts to things day to day is, is the product of his hard work that he's put in during that time. And I think that's a great motivation for me because I'm just like, well, I, I wanna see life in that way, like I wanna see situations in that way or react to people in that way or interact with people in this way. And I think everything has been from that time in your life. And so, yeah, I really think he's been a great inspiration for me in that area. And I just know that that's what brings me the most happiness.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  And when I don't do those practices, I know it's every part of my life suffering. So I know that if I really feel like I'm not dedicating enough time to my spiritual practices, then I'm a lot snappier with you and I'm a lot, like my relationships suffer, my quality of, like the rest of the day just doesn't feel like it's got as much quality as it could have. I haven't get, got the most out of the rest of my day because I haven't prioritized my, my soul and like my connection to God at, at the beginning of the day. And for me, that's so important. And so, yeah, I think it really, I had, it definitely does impact relationships, well, my relationships around me, if I don't have that in my life consistently and with quality. I think it makes a huge difference.

• 55:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's like your relationship to your spiritual practice is the most important relationship.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:21Jay Shetty?

  And because of that relationship being right.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  It filters into everything else completely. How I feel in my spiritual practice is how I end up feeling towards other people around me. And so if I don't feel like I've put my best into that, then I know it filters through everywhere else and I, I've observed that in myself. And so I think for the sanity of everyone around me, I have to make sure I do it too because it's not just me, it affects, it affects everybody I come into contact with because I'm a product of that, I feel.

• 55:49Jay Shetty?

  Next thing is, what's your favorite thing about each other?

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Oh, I feel like we've said it enough now, you know?

• 55:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  I know, I'm checking, I know, I'm checking, we can.

• 55:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we've said a lot.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  I have to say one thing, I wanna say one thing. I think one of my favorite, the favorite thing about you is how you see things. How you see situations, like they say that with a monk mindset, you should be able to see things very, it's called equi- equi- what's the word?

• 56:12Jay Shetty?

  Equipoise, equilibrium.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Equipoise, yeah. Equanimity, I always get that word wrong. So when you, whether something goes bad or something goes good, you're able to have a very like neutral mindset to that situation. And not get too excited when things go really, really well and not get too sad when things get really bad. And I think from all the ups and downs that we've been through, whether it's with your career or whatever it's been. Every time something goes wrong, even if like you miss a plane, whatever it is. He never gets to a point where he's like, oh my gosh, this is the worst thing ever, which is my usual reaction to, like before would have been my usual reaction to things. He is always just like, it's just part of the plan. Like this just makes the story so much better.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  And I just really appreciate that because it's made me not overreact and made me see perspective in so many situations and made me realize that actually. Yeah, like that quality of, and he doesn't get too excited, anything good that happens, like whether he wins awards or. Whatever, like the coolest thing may happen and he never gets too excited. Like he appreciates it and. He just, you know, in his mind, he prays and offers it back to his spiritual teacher. And I just think it's such a deep practice to have. To not get too excited and, and bask in your success. Is that, is bask, is that what I read?

• 57:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, and not um be too sad and, and like kind of. Sit in your sadness for too long. And I think he really has that great balance of being able to snap out of things and seeing things. He doesn't even have to snap out of it. He just doesn't see it in that way. Like he's trained his mind to see things in a way where everything is just part of the journey. And nothing is up, up, up and down, up and down, up and down. It's all quiet, like a, like a little wave rather than like a tide.

• 57:49Jay Shetty?

  Thanks, I really appreciate that. And hers is so easy. Anyone who. Anyone who's met her already knows this, literally like every one of my friends, I introduce it. They, they, they fall in love with her and become best friends with her. And then, and then I'm bedwheeling all of a sudden.

• 58:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:04Jay Shetty?

  And, and I love that. Like it's the best feeling in the world that everyone I introduce her to, everyone she meets. She just has this pure, genuine light. And all I'm like in life is like, don't screw that up. Like, don't mess that up. Like, like, let her be that light. Like, just let her be what she is. And, you know, how her parents have raised her, like, how her grandmother's had an impact on her. Like, everything she has, like, her spiritual teacher, her spirituality, everything that she has, like, it's so pure and genuine and, and full of love. Like, I always tell her, she's, she's like the best person I've met. You know, I just want everyone to experience that. Like, that's, I want everyone to experience that. And that's partly why we're doing this, this podcast, is because I want everyone to experience that.

• 58:48Jay Shetty?

  There are people in the world who just have no agendas, that are loved, that are being loved at all times, that don't have any, like, negative motive towards anyone, or don't wanna have, like, envy or jealousy, or bring someone else down to feel better. And, and I think she has that in abundance. And everyone feels it. Like, as soon as she walks into a room, she lights it up with, with her presence and energy. And that doesn't mean, like, being the loudest person in the room. She's rarely that. It doesn't mean being the most talkative person. It just means being that energy. And I know all of you who know her know that and feel it. And, and I get to feel it every day, so.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  I mean, anything that's true, but thanks. I do, I do love, I, I've just realized, come, I, I mean, I've been through so many ups and downs of my own journey, of, you know, jealousy and whatever it is, and not being that person for people, and not being someone who can help, who can be the joy for somebody else. But going through that and coming out the other end through a lot of journaling, I've talked about this before, and, and a lot of introspection. I just realized I actually get so much more joy out of being other people's joy. Like, I love making people laugh. I love making people feel loved. And I love making people feel like they're cared for and, and looked after and whatever it is. I love, and I've realized, actually, it's more of a selfish thing because I love doing that for other people. I get the joy out of it.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  And so, um, yeah, I think if you can light up someone's life in some small way, or like, make someone laugh, you just never know what they're going through. And so, I just think it's such a sweet thing to share and give out to someone. Like, you can give a lot of things out, but if you're able to give love and, and happiness to someone in a small way every single day, like, it's such a beautiful, it's a gift, like, it's such a sweet gift to, to give out to people. So, um, I'm grateful that I'm able to do that for you sometimes and for other people.

• 1:00:39Jay Shetty?

  Thanks for giving.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  Sorry guys, I do an American accent whenever I'm like, it's probably the worst American accent that you guys have heard, but I do accents, yeah.

• 1:00:48Jay Shetty?

  I love accents.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Jay Shetty?

  Cause I'm terrible at them. They're fun. Okay, next thing is, do you fight and how do you deal with that conflict?

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, we fight.

• 1:00:57Jay Shetty?

  We fight.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do fight. Um, but I mean, I have to say fights don't last that long with us.

• 1:01:02Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  I think that's probably the key thing. Like, we have been through, especially when we weren't understanding each other's love languages, especially when I wasn't understanding him more so than the other way around. When we argued, my thing would be shutting down and not wanting to speak about it and like not communicating and not answering phone calls. And for him, it would be like, no, I want to talk about it and I want to get through it and let's like, let's really discuss everything. And at the time, it just felt like for me, I was like, no, I need space. But the more I've accepted the way that he likes to resolve things, the more I realize that actually it's so, makes so much more sense. Because yeah, you may need space for a short period of time, but unless you talk through and process it together, you never get over that. And then it's brought up in the next argument and the argument after that and the argument after that. Whereas if you're able to really

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  sit down and work through whatever, even if it's a really small issue, like picking your shoes up from in front of the door, which is something we've spoken about a few times, but even if it's something as small as that, just discussing and explaining, okay, fine, this makes me feel like you don't value me because who else are you expecting to pick up those shoes? For example, it's a mutual thing. I, I leave my shoes there too. But I'm just saying, even if you break it down to that level of saying, actually, it's not the action, it's what I feel you're thinking when you're doing that action. And so it's, it usually isn't the action. It's usually not what the person's done. It's usually how it makes you feel from that person's action, if that makes sense.

• 1:02:25Jay Shetty?

  That makes loads of sense. Great point.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  And so I think breaking it down to that level of the feeling you're getting from that person by him doing that or by her doing that, actually resolves the issue so much faster. And that has been completely you because he really, we, we've never, we've never stepped really on an argument. We've at least discussed it before and I really, really believe in that. I heard it so much, but. The more we've argued and the more we've resolved it before we've gone to sleep. Like the next morning, we are fresh and ready to go like nothing's happened. And not because we're ignoring it and not because we're pretending like it didn't happen or we've brushed it under the rug, but because we have really talked about it and tried to understand it from each other's point of view. And I think, I really think that's made such a big difference to the way we argue.

• 1:03:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think that's a great point. That's such an important point. I think the point around it's not about the action that hurts. It's about how that action makes someone feel is so much more important. Because sometimes I'm doing something really small and I'm getting it wrong. But I'm like, oh, it's so small. But then she's like, no, it's big. And I'm like, well, how's it big? And then she's like, because this is how it makes me feel. I'm like, oh, that is big, right? And then I have that moment of like, aha, like the penny drops and I'm, oh, okay, it's big. It's not small again.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Because you're never really doing things to, like, it's not like you're doing it intentionally. And I also, and it's also understanding that aspect of it, like saying that I, and always reminding yourself that if you know that person loves you, then they are never going to be doing things to intentionally like prod at you or intentionally make you feel a negative emotion. And, and if we are doing that, then we should be very aware of it. And sometimes saying things like remarks of that are in a sarcastic tone or whatever. Actually, those things can build up and you feel like you're saying in a jokey way. I, I used to do that all the time, saying things in like a sarcastic funny way to try and get a point across to you. But now I've realised that actually just asking you in a polite way, in a sweet way, in a loving way, can have so much more impact than me sarcastically throwing something in there.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I think the way that we say things and the thought behind it actually makes such a difference. And now I know, like, whenever you do anything, even if it's small, when I process, I process it in my mind before I say a lot of things to you. And actually, it goes away because I'm like, I know the intention is not that. And if I do want you to do something, then I'll just ask you politely. And I've noticed the difference that it makes in the way that we speak to each other and when we think about it and process it like that, rather than. Rather than just shouting out whatever comes into our mind, like that's not, that's not gonna help. Like not being able to control what's coming out of your mouth.

• 1:04:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and anyone who says they don't argue isn't true. Like everyone argues, everyone fights, everyone has disagreements and they're good and they're good to work through. Because disagreements usually just arise because we all have different upbringings. We all have different backgrounds, we're all raised differently, we're raised in different amounts of space. We're raised differently in terms of responsibility. And so now you're putting two different people with two different responsibilities together. And if you don't argue about it, you don't disagree about it, if you don't talk it out. Then all you do, like she said, is you just end up living the same thing again and again and again. And it's really important to draw boundaries as well, like recognizing like this, these are certain things that really annoy me. Like to say that when you first move in with someone.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Jay Shetty?

  These are things that annoy me, like these are my top three things that will get on my nerves, like let's try and avoid that. And the other person gets to say the same, you're gonna just avoid so much hassle. Rather than like thinking, oh, for the first week, it's fine, I'm gonna do everything for that person. And then you end up feeling upset because they're not reciprocating, whatever. Just, just set your expectations, draw the boundaries, be really open and honest about what works for you and what doesn't.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02Jay Shetty?

  And then, and then figure out which parts you can help each other on.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 1:06:06Jay Shetty?

  One more question for us, then I wanna talk a lot about you. So anyone who's watching or listening right now, if you've got this far, I hope you've enjoyed it. We've been introducing you to the world of us. But I really also wanna introduce you to the world of my wife. She's incredibly talented, she's got so many great insights. I want you to learn about her and, and fall in love with her as much as I am. But before we do that, we take the last question, the last question is, how do you deal with my hectic travel schedule?

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get upset a lot.

• 1:06:34Jay Shetty?

  My type of work.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, I think we've both been very independent people in our relationship. And I think. When it comes to us being separate, like it's just letting the other person get done what they need to get done. If I need to be away for work or you need to be away for work, I know it's not that you.

• 1:06:53Jay Shetty?

  We both travel.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know that it's not that you want to be away from me or that I want to be away from you. It's that we need to get stuff done. It's not the end of the world. We love each other, but we also need to go and do what we love doing. And so when I can, I travel with you. But if I can't, I catch up with the stuff that I really need to get done, that maybe I'm not able to do in condensed like time when we're together. And so you just use it as an opportunity to get those things done. And yeah, I just think, I just think we're, we're really good at being independent and we're really good at being together. And I don't know whether that answered the question, but yeah.

• 1:07:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, and I miss her when I'm away from her. It's not like I don't miss her and we both travel for work. So I can be away. I'm usually away for shorter stints more regularly and she's away for longer stints irregularly.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:07:39Jay Shetty?

  That's kind of how it works. So she could be away for like a month or two, but that happens like once or twice a year. And then I could be away for like three nights, but I do that regularly, like every month. And so we've both learned that we get more done personally, which is really powerful. Cause you get to focus on what you're doing. I get to focus on what I'm doing. We miss each other more. So when we get back together, we're really excited to be with each other. So that adds another level of incredible beauty in a relationship. And, and the other thing is, I think, I really believe that you have to be whole to then enhance each other in a relationship. I don't know if you want to talk about this. Like you don't complete each other in a relationship. It's not half and half.

• 1:08:21Jay Shetty?

  It's whole and whole, coming together. It's a full person and another full person, filling each other up more and overflowing. It's not about I'm half full, you're half full, together we're full.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, like I'm trying to, I'm, I've got a part missing of me that I'm trying to fulfill from that other person. I don't think that works because it's unnatural to feel like this person's going to fill a part of you. Like it has to be you being the whole person. Like you said, I just don't think we can expect another person to fill us or a gap in us. I think that that makes a big difference, definitely. Of being apart from each other because and I also think that I yeah, I feel like I wanna say this too that every relationship is so different and I don't think that this would necessarily work for a lot of people or or a few people but I don't think it would necessarily work for everybody and some people really need that time where they're with that person all the time or messaging that person all the time and that's totally fine.

• 1:09:17Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  When I speak about our relationship, I just always feel like I I make it clear that this like this is just works for us. This works for us and it's great, but I don't think that it necessarily works for everybody out there and I don't think what works for everybody out there is gonna work for us. And I think that's a big that that's a big deal because I think we look up to different couples or you see people in your life, your friends and how they are in their relationship. And you kind of see things that you may want in a relationship and you think that that's what you want. But you never really know until you're in a relationship with somebody and you notice how you both complement each other. Because their their qualities are completely different to your qualities. And so, yeah, I just I just wanted to add that because it works for us, but I don't think it's necessarily gonna work for

• 1:10:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  for everybody out there.

• 1:10:03Jay Shetty?

  And there's no these so there's foundational things in relationship and there's flexible things. Foundational stuff is like respect, like appreciating each other's values.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:12Jay Shetty?

  Appreciating each other's goals.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:14Jay Shetty?

  Understanding each other's backgrounds. Those are foundational things like that applies to every relationship under the sun, like no matter which relationship you're in. Including friendships, parents, everything. And then there's flexible stuff like this, which isn't can't be forced into everyone. Like how you should deal with being apart, how you should travel, schedules, like all the kind of functional stuff. That is not a thing that there's a right or wrong way.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:38Jay Shetty?

  The foundational stuff, there is stuff that works and there's stuff that doesn't. The flexible stuff is adaptable, is different for different people, exactly what you said. Amazing. So now I wanna move into what I'm really excited for all of you to hear. I hope that gave you a big insight into our relationship, our life. Uh, we got married, I I didn't mention this, but we got married in twenty sixteen.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:00Jay Shetty?

  April.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Twenty third. Yeah.

• 1:11:04Jay Shetty?

  That's good.

• 1:11:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And we've now been together for nearly three years. Uh, it's been incredible being married and I'll come back to that as well. But I really want you to hear about my wife's incredible insights, especially because they're so related to health. Right? Mental, physical, personal wellbeing. And she's definitely someone who lives and breeds what she shares. It's, it's not just stuff that she talks about. I've actually probably never seen someone who's, who's practicing what they preach as much. And so I'd love you to hear these insights. So I'm going to ask you a few questions, Randy. My first question for you is, how did you fall in love with food?

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  How did I fall in love with food? I've always been a big foodie. Growing up, I was um fairly overweight until the age of about fifteen.

• 1:11:53Jay Shetty?

  Let's talk about that.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, about fifteen. Um, probably started losing weight around the age of sixteen. But yeah, I grew up, I grew up always loving food, always loving carbs. Like I loved bread and all the things I probably shouldn't have. My mom was actually a personal trainer. My mom was a fitness instructor, so she had like slick abs, like growing up. I was never really bothered by my weight until I went to school. And um, yeah, long story short, I loved food from being younger. My mom is an incredible cook. My grandma's an incredible cook. Uh, my sister's also an incredible cook. Everyone, like, I've been surrounded by great cooks my whole life. And so my mom would always make beautiful food from around the world. Wherever we traveled, she'd always bring that home with us and she'd make wonderful dishes.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  And so, yeah, I think being spoilt by that being when I was younger, I grew up with a really unique taste in food because I'd experienced so much being, growing up. Um, and then my mom actually suggested I go into doing nutrition and dietetics at, at college or university. And um, I did that and that's where my love for nutrition grew. Like, I absolutely loved understanding the qualities of food and how they can affect our bodies. And I never really was into con- conventional medicine. Like, I never liked taking anything for my body. I really, really believed in how natural things or foods and plants can really change the way that our body reacts to things or disease or um, yeah, health conditions. And so that's where my love for nutrition grew and food.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  And then I came across Ayurveda and I actually don't know how, it must have been. I don't know how I came across it, I actually can't remember. I know my biggest exposure to it was when I, when we moved to New York. But um, that was pretty much encompassed everything that I ever thought I, like, everything I wanted to believe in, it had that in, in, in one, one science. And Ayurveda is actually, Ayurveda means life and Veda means knowledge. So it's literally the science of life. And it encompasses mind, body and soul. And it really believes in the mind-body connection. But also completely believes and, and has, has solid science behind how food and the qualities of the different foods and how they can affect your body and how they can be healing and

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  how they can be medicine or they can be toxins. The same food can be that for, for different people. And I love it because it's so individual and so personalized that our bodies are so different. Your body will react to a tomato completely differently than mine would. And so I really appreciate that because every single body is so unique. Like, you can't have the same medicine for one person as you do for thousands and millions of people out there. It just doesn't make sense. Our genetics are different, our body's makeup is different, our elements in our bodies are different. And so Ayurveda really encompasses all of that. And so that completely grew my love for food, um, and healing of food and yeah, I've always believed in, you know, we always talk about how love, the mother's love, like, mother's cooking is the best because of the love that she puts in it.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  And in Ayurveda, it really believes that the consciousness, and this is one of the things that I loved most about Ayurveda. It talks about how the consciousness that you cook in or the consciousness that the food's been made in, actually gets infused into that person. And so however that person's, you know, everything that we're cooking with is living, like, uh, every fruit, every vegetable, you know, it's a plant, it grows, it has living cells, and so it takes in our energy. And so whatever energy you're putting into that food while you're cooking it is what the other person is, is digesting and, and eating. And so I thought that was such a beautiful aspect of it because you can change how a person feels through the energy that you're putting into even their food. Um. And so my love for food grew even bigger after hearing that. Um. And yeah, that was, that's how I fell in love with food.

• 1:15:30Jay Shetty?

  It's amazing. I love it. Just grab that.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Oh, it keeps coming by.

• 1:15:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's fine. That was a great answer. Yeah. That's awesome. I love that. And it's been fun watching you fall more in love with food and Ayurveda. Tell the audience about like a few simple wellbeing tips for the day. So whether it's food or whether it's essential oils or whether it's anything in your life that you add, split them up. So tell me three simple tips that people can do daily with their food. Let's start with that.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  With food.

• 1:15:59Jay Shetty?

  With food, yeah.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Um. Simple tips, I would say have three meals a day, but your largest meal should be in the afternoon. Um. Our body is in sync with nature. And so when the sun is at its highest, we believe in Ayurveda, they believe we have a digestive fire in our stomach. And so when the sun is at its highest is when our digestion is the strongest. And so that's when we should, uh, it's when the nutrients are um assimilated into our bodies a lot better. When the food is broken down so much faster and efficiently. And so if we're able to eat our largest meal in the afternoon, our heaviest meal in the afternoon, then that's actually a lot more beneficial to our body. And having our lightest meal in the evening because, uh, this is the second tip now, yeah, number two.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Um. Have your lightest meal in the aft, in the evening because one, your quality of sleep will be so much better. Your body's not trying to work while you're sleeping. When you sleep, you want every part of your body to be relaxed and every part of your body to feel like it's getting the rest to rejuvenate and to replenish for the next day. And so if you're able to have a meal that's much lighter, like soups or even a smoothie. Then um your body's able to rest and your food is, a lot of food that's not digested turns into toxins in your body. And so if your body's trying to shut down and you're still putting lots of food into your body, it actually ends up turning into toxins a lot. A lot more toxins are produced if you're digesting food overnight. And number three, drink lukewarm water. Never drink ice water.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Ice water or really, really cold beverages actually dampens your digestive fire. And so you kind of wanna drink drinks which are either room temperature or warm. Warm drinks and hot drinks really stimulate a lot of things in your body, but really keep your body purified and help with toxins elimination in your body as well. So those are my three tips.

• 1:17:47Jay Shetty?

  That's great tips, yeah. And that's so important because I feel so many people eat really late and then go to sleep straight away.

• 1:17:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:56Jay Shetty?

  So it's like a lot of people are eating at eight P M, nine P M, ten P M, and then going to sleep straight away.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:02Jay Shetty?

  Or sleeping after midnight, obviously. But you're actually saying we should eat less in the evening.

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:08Jay Shetty?

  And then, of course, you believe in sleeping early.

• 1:18:10Speaker 01

  Yes, definitely.

• 1:18:10Jay Shetty?

  But the point is, yeah, okay, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Tell me some of the things that I wanted to talk to you about was around another few tips on well-being and wellness that you think would be useful to people.

• 1:18:23Speaker 01

  Um, well-being and wellness. Um, okay, so I definitely believe in meditating early in the morning. Because, well, throughout the day, there are different energies that can affect you. And so in the morning, when before the, ideally before the sun rises, but before the sun rises is when you've still got the calming effect of the moon. And so your mind is a lot more rested, your mind is fresh because you've just woken up. But also you haven't been affected by the, like, the world is still asleep. Like, a lot of people are still asleep, and so you don't have that much energy around you. So I feel if your mind is calmer and the sun hasn't risen, sun actually brings about the energy of doing and going and get, like, getting things done. Whereas before the sun rises, if you're able to meditate then,

• 1:19:07Speaker 01

  you actually will get a deeper, more focused meditation in the morning. Um, another lifestyle tip I'd give is using a tongue scraper. Like, that is so important. In a western, um, in western culture, it's not normal to use a tongue scraper. I don't know if anyone's seen it, but it's literally so simple. It's like a copper or a metal rod type thing, which has, huh?

• 1:19:29Jay Shetty?

  It's like a U shape.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  Like a U shape that you can basically, you scrape off all the, it sounds gross, but you scrape off all the, um, toxins off your tongue in the morning. And in the evening, you can use it when you brush your teeth. And Actually, if you end up swallowing those toxins, that can be the beginning of like toxins, like the toxins, toxins building up in your body. And so using a tongue scraper is an Ayurvedic must, like you, you have to use a tongue scraper. You can get it off Amazon, you can get it everywhere. It's just a really simple thing to avoid toxins building up in your body. Um, and did you say one more?

• 1:20:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  Um, one more health tip I would, or lifestyle tip I would recommend, sleeping early. You know, there's so much normal science behind it, but even just to get a good amount of sleep before 12 o'clock. Um, I mean, I've read so much about it, but it really does rejuvenate you. The quality of sleep that you get is so different compared to sleeping really late. Um, and doing it on a regular basis, it reduces your immune system. It makes you really groggy in the morning. I, I find that I really, and if I have too many late nights for a long period of time, I, it really affects my immunity. Like I know I'm gonna get unwell or I'm gonna catch a cold. Um, and so sleeping early is also, if you can, there are lots of people who can't because of jobs.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  But if you can sleep early, eat in the afternoon, wake up early, that's like the ideal situation. Yeah.

• 1:20:49Jay Shetty?

  Love it. Yeah, no, really practical tips. I think those are things that anyone and everyone can do.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Can incorporate, yeah.

• 1:20:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love those because they're just so universal. It's not gonna take someone a huge lifestyle change. It's not gonna cost anything, like it's totally free to do all of these things. You don't have to learn a lot, like there's nothing to research, like, you know, and, and I know that you have, because you are a dietitian and a nutritionist by qualification and by going to university, et cetera. So I do know that everything that you speak about is highly researched and focused. But I love how good you are at making it so simple and so like easy to understand. And obviously, if you want more tips, et cetera, you can go follow, uh, Ravi after this and find out more about what she's posting about regularly. I want you to tell me about why did health become so important to you? Because I know this for a fact, that I really always focused on my mental health and my mind.

• 1:21:37Jay Shetty?

  And for a long time, mastering my mind was like one of my biggest focuses. And that's, that's where I spent a lot of my life. And when I married Radhi, she was very much focused, not only on the mind, but on the body more. And when I say body, I don't just mean in looking aesthetically good, I mean feeling good, being active, being genuinely healthy beyond size or shape or any of that stuff. And, and that's really helped me in my personal life. I know for a fact that I eat better, I exercise more, I take care of myself physically because of you. And so I want you to tell me why you started to find health so important. And then I want you to tell me a bit about your perspective on body, shape, size, and our addiction to looking a certain way as opposed to feeling a certain way.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Health became a really important part of my life because, yeah, I grew up, I mentioned I grew up fairly overweight. And at the beginning, it was a lot more to do with changing the shape of my body. I really wanted to lose weight and at that time, I knew I didn't want to do anything too extreme. Like, because I did my nutrition degree, I understood and I'd heard a lot about how yo-yo dieting can really affect your metabolism. And so for me, I didn't want to do the extremes of like eating barely anything to then get, trying to get back to a normal diet, which I know I've seen people that they've done that and it ends up making you put on even more weight afterwards and hard to lose weight after that. So I really wanted a healthy, sustainable way of doing that. And so, I mean, at the beginning, it was at college and it was, I mean, at university.

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  And I started just cooking for me and my friends a lot at university because I lived out and yeah, it was, it was, to be honest, I kind of just fell into it. Through, through the nutrition degree, I ended up learning a lot more about it. So I started cooking a lot more vegetables and, I mean, I grew up vegetarian. And so my diet was also predominantly based on lentils and pulses and, and vegetables and, you know, all the Indian spices and flavors. And so, yeah, that's where my health, my, this beginning of my health journey started, was to lose weight. And then, like I said, when I came into Ayurveda and I started understanding that, it just grew my passion for it a lot more.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  Um, but the, this, the inspiration for it was definitely through, through weight loss. But I knew I didn't want to do it in an unhealthy way. And body image. Yeah, I've, I think that's something, growing up, I always, always thought that to be healthy, a good image of health was, my image of my own health was based on other people's body shape or body size. And looking around, everybody around me, I always used to think that, okay, for me to be healthy, I needed to be slim, like I needed to be very skinny. And as I've grown up and I've, I've been through my ups and downs with my weight and with my journey of health, I really realized that actually, I've got to this point, and when

• 1:24:31Speaker 01

  I feel the best, like my version of health is when my organs feel like they're working at its best, when my skin feels incredible, when my digestion feels great, when my hair, my nails, you know, all the, all the indicators that I feel represent good health, that I've learned is good health, when those things are happening, and also when my mind feels good. Like, when do I feel at my most comfortable? Is it when I'm a specific body shape, or is it when I'm working out and I feel great about it? Or am I struggling to get myself to the gym because of the goal that I have? Like, I feel fine if my goal is to lose weight, then for me, it's been really difficult to sustain it. And, and because I want to eat, like, I really enjoy eating. I really enjoy eating different foods and, and having a great

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  balance in life. And so for me, it became more about how I feel and, and how my whole body feels in different ways, rather than it being an indication of different body sizes and body shape. And I mean, I love getting into it. Like, I love, I love working out, and it's part of my day, part of my routine on a daily basis. And I don't believe that either end of the weight spectrum is healthy. There are health conditions associated to both. But I have realized that body trends change all the time. Like, you know, there's gonna be a different body shape that's in fashion next week, and the week after that, and the month after that, and the year after that. But if I am constantly trying to change my shape according to that, I'm not sure that that's what health means. Like, there's

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  so much more to what being healthy means than just body shape and body size. And so, yeah, I think that that's what it means to me. I mean, I've, I've, I've struggled with it growing up. But at the moment now, after being through so much on that journey, I really feel like that's what health means to me. And that's where I feel the happiest, when I'm thinking about health in that way.

• 1:26:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I love that answer. It's so true. I, I grew up, because I grew up overweight as well. When I lost weight for the first time, I believe that being skinny or being slim was health. And then when I realized that it definitely wasn't because I went through my own health challenges. I was just like, oh, wow, like, health doesn't mean just not eating fatty foods, like, which is really as basic and simplistic as my knowledge was for so long. And so, hearing you say that, obviously, having you coach me in my life every day is amazing. I really value it. It's changed my life for sure in terms of how I feel and what I eat and what I do and how I use my time. So, so thank you so much. And, and definitely, if you follow Radhi afterwards, you'll find so many great insights

• 1:26:56Jay Shetty?

  and more expert thoughts and practices that I think are genuine and practi-, you know, they're practical for all of us. And that's what I love about them, that what she's saying works for everyone, they're universal. And it's not about getting a specific goal externally, it's about getting a specific goal internally.

• 1:27:12Speaker 01

  And I don't think there's anything, I think it's incredible if someone wants to change the, like, I think it's incredible if someone has a goal of what they want their body to be.

• 1:27:19Jay Shetty?

  Sure.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  But all I'm trying to say is that I don't think just body shape is an indication of health, which I feel is seen as health in a lot, in a lot of ways, like a lot of fitness pages or a lot of, a lot of, um, exercise pages, they show most of the body shapes are similar. They are, they are in a specific, in a specific form and a specific shape. And I just think it's incredible how beautifully unique everybody's body is. And it's like, that is the beauty of the world, that everybody is so beautiful and everyone is so unique in their own way. That why should everybody be aspiring for the same body shape? Why can't we all have our own individual shape and that be the beauty of it? Because, yeah, like, trends change, like, face trends change, bodies trends change, the way we speak changes. Our diet, like, you know, our slang changes constantly.

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  I just think everything's changing so much that if we try and just focus on who we want to be and change according to our own motivation, rather than other people's view, or how we see other people, that will make a big difference to our, our mental state as well. Which is a journey I'm still going on, guys. I was kind of saying it for myself. Um, it's a, it's a pep talk for me, but yeah.

• 1:28:25Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so what we're gonna do now to end this show. Every episode will usually have a final five, but we're going to play a little game where we're gonna guess certain things about each other. So I'm gonna give you this. If you open up to a

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  Blank page.

• 1:28:40Jay Shetty?

  If you open up to a blank page, take this.

• 1:28:43Speaker 01

  I already know he's gonna be better at this.

• 1:28:45Jay Shetty?

  So, these are gonna be a list of questions that our friends have asked us to answer. We're both gonna write down the answer and then we're both going to reveal.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 1:28:54Jay Shetty?

  So the first question we have to answer is Rudi's favorite movie.

• 1:28:58Speaker 01

  Oh no. What is my favorite movie?

• 1:29:01Jay Shetty?

  I know a few, that's what's hard.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Write top three.

• 1:29:06Jay Shetty?

  I don't, okay.

• 1:29:09Jay Shetty?

  Make it harder, why don't you?

• 1:29:12Speaker 01

  Oh no, but there are also Bollywood films I like too.

• 1:29:14Jay Shetty?

  No, Bollywood doesn't count.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Oh, what?

• 1:29:18Jay Shetty?

  You can't complicate it. I don't think we've ever talked about Bollywood movies. Okay.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  No, I'm not done. I don't know what my favorite movies are, I forgot.

• 1:29:29Jay Shetty?

  This is, you can't play this game with Rudi because she'll forget what her favorite movie is. Or it will change on the spot, so I may fail at this, but let's have a go.

• 1:29:38Jay Shetty?

  Ready?

• 1:29:39Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 1:29:40Jay Shetty?

  We're gonna get it so wrong.

• 1:29:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:29:44Jay Shetty?

  Three, two, one, go. What?

• 1:29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did it.

• 1:29:49Jay Shetty?

  I got, I got two, I got two out of three, that's not bad. Can you see that?

• 1:29:52Speaker 01

  I watched it recently. I watched Hitch recently, I realized it's hilarious, I can watch it all the time.

• 1:29:56Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so I got two out of three.

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  I don't know whether Star is Born is gonna be an epic that I will always remember. And A Little Princess, if no one's seen it. You have, if anyone's not seen it, you have to watch it, it's like the sweetest film.

• 1:30:07Jay Shetty?

  Nice. Alright, the next question is Jay's favorite movie. Let's do top three as well, go on.

• 1:30:14Speaker 01

  What's that film called? The one that, the one, the magician one?

• 1:30:18Jay Shetty?

  I'm not gonna tell you, am I?

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  Guys, what's it called?

• 1:30:22Jay Shetty?

  No, they can't tell you. No cheating when the camera's on.

• 1:30:27Jay Shetty?

  No, you can't copy.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  No, but I know the name. I know the name. I just, I just can't remember it.

• 1:30:33Jay Shetty?

  My top three movies are the easiest thing in the world. No one talks about them more than I do.

• 1:30:37Speaker 01

  Yes, I know.

• 1:30:38Jay Shetty?

  I just watched one of them on the aeroplane the other day.

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  I know, I know.

• 1:30:40Jay Shetty?

  Which I told you about.

• 1:30:43Jay Shetty?

  You copied me, didn't you?

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:30:45Jay Shetty?

  You did.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  I didn't.

• 1:30:46Jay Shetty?

  You saw my answers.

• 1:30:49Jay Shetty?

  Okay, three, two, one.

• 1:30:52Speaker 01

  That's what it's called, Prestige. I read the magic film. Inception and watching me, because I couldn't, watching me watch films.

• 1:30:59Jay Shetty?

  Oh, oh, I do love watching you. That's cute. I do love watching.

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  Because I couldn't think of another one.

• 1:31:03Jay Shetty?

  So the Prestige is the best movie of all time.

• 1:31:04Speaker 01

  I got the Prestige one. That was the magic film.

• 1:31:06Jay Shetty?

  And Inception. Magic film does not count.

• 1:31:09Speaker 01

  And watching me watch films.

• 1:31:11Jay Shetty?

  I love the Dark Knight trilogy.

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:31:12Jay Shetty?

  All the Christopher Nolan movies.

• 1:31:14Speaker 01

  I def- I actually knew that. I just not very good with names.

• 1:31:17Jay Shetty?

  All right, next question is, Rudi's favourite food.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a hard one.

• 1:31:22Jay Shetty?

  I know.

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  That is a hard one.

• 1:31:24Jay Shetty?

  Not, ugh.

• 1:31:28Jay Shetty?

  I think I'm gonna get this wrong, but. Oh, you're doing the top three?

• 1:31:32Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 1:31:34Jay Shetty?

  We can do top three if you want.

• 1:31:37Jay Shetty?

  I don't think I'll guess three.

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  Okay, ready?

• 1:31:44Jay Shetty?

  One second.

• 1:31:49Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:31:49Speaker 01

  I'm not really playing the game.

• 1:31:50Jay Shetty?

  Three, two, one, go.

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  My mum's food, Indian food, pizza and bread of any kind. Fries!

• 1:31:55Jay Shetty?

  I was gonna write any- I was gonna write anything green Indian.

• 1:31:58Speaker 01

  Pizza and fries.

• 1:31:59Jay Shetty?

  I was gonna write anything green Indian plus fries.

• 1:32:01Speaker 01

  My mum's food is anything green, so that's right.

• 1:32:03Jay Shetty?

  You literally love chips.

• 1:32:04Speaker 01

  I do, I just forgot. Indian food, pizza, bread of any kind and fries.

• 1:32:07Jay Shetty?

  Bread, I should have, I should have, I knew that. I messed up. All right. Okay, next question. Jay's favourite food. So easy.

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  Jay's favourite food.

• 1:32:14Jay Shetty?

  So easy.

• 1:32:17Jay Shetty?

  It's only one, love.

• 1:32:21Speaker 01

  Okay, ready, one, two, three, go. Oh, but no, I thought we were talking about food, burgers and sausages and beans.

• 1:32:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, beans on toast and sausages is good, but this is my one true love.

• 1:32:32Speaker 01

  No, I didn't think we were talking about sweet.

• 1:32:34Jay Shetty?

  If I could trade every food in the world.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, he literally loves chocolate. We're not doing that great right now.

• 1:32:38Jay Shetty?

  This is not very great, all right. Uh, what annoys Radhi the most? Oh, I know this.

• 1:32:49Jay Shetty?

  One second.

• 1:32:52Speaker 01

  What, in general?

• 1:32:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:32:54Jay Shetty?

  About me?

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  About you? Okay, ready? One, two, three, go.

• 1:32:57Jay Shetty?

  Shoes by the door.

• 1:32:59Speaker 01

  Yes, we can do this. Well done. Shoes by the door.

• 1:33:02Jay Shetty?

  Okay, what annoys Jay the most about Radhi?

• 1:33:05Speaker 01

  Um, yes, okay, I've got this.

• 1:33:11Speaker 01

  Ready, go.

• 1:33:12Jay Shetty?

  Three, two, one, go.

• 1:33:12Speaker 01

  Changing conversation mid convo.

• 1:33:14Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no, timing.

• 1:33:15Speaker 01

  Oh, timing, yes. I am always late. If we ever go anywhere and we tell you that we were late and we make up an excuse, it's always because of me.

• 1:33:24Jay Shetty?

  That's not true.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  No, yeah, it's true, it's true. It's okay, I own it, I own it.

• 1:33:28Jay Shetty?

  Okay. Uh, the last question. What are you excited about in your future together?

• 1:33:36Speaker 01

  What am I excited about? What are we excited about? Um. Ready?

• 1:33:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  Go.

• 1:33:43Jay Shetty?

  Me too.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  His crazy dreams which always come true.

• 1:33:46Jay Shetty?

  Uh, being with you.

• 1:33:47Speaker 01

  Oh, that's really cute.

• 1:33:51Jay Shetty?

  All right, so that was the first ever episode of me interviewing my wife. We're gonna do a lot more of this together, I think.

• 1:34:00Speaker 01

  Okay, cool.

• 1:34:00Jay Shetty?

  I had a lot of fun. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'd love for you to share your favorite tips, your favorite insights, your favorite things that you learned from this session or anything at all on Instagram. You can tag both of us. You're gonna be seeing a lot more posts from both of us doing a lot more content together as well. I'm so excited to share this part of my life with you. I hope you're excited to be on it with me. And I just wanted to take a moment to say this. I've literally taken her life on a crazy journey. And she's been the best, most supportive partner in the world. When we first met, she said she didn't want to live any further away than a one mile radius.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:34:38Jay Shetty?

  From her mom's home. Do you want to say it?

• 1:34:39Speaker 01

  I did. Yeah, okay, I'll say it. You wanna say it?

• 1:34:42Jay Shetty?

  So go on.

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I literally told him. I was like, okay, I really want to get married to you, but I really need to live not more than one mile away from my mom.

• 1:34:49Jay Shetty?

  And your sister.

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  And my sister. And so we ended up buying a house that was one mile radius of my sister and my mom. And then three weeks later, he told me we had to move to New York. So.

• 1:34:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And so I agreed to it first of all, but then I got this great opportunity in New York. We moved to New York.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:35:05Jay Shetty?

  We lived in New York for two years. Throughout that time, we bought a home, moved country. I changed job three times and got married all in the same year in 2016. I've, you know, I, I had to move on from a job while we were together too. We were like four months away from being broke. Before I even started the whole media thing, I was rejected by like 40 companies.

• 1:35:29Speaker 01

  It's been a journey.

• 1:35:30Jay Shetty?

  It's been a journey. It's, it's been incredible. We moved to LA around seven months ago now. And it's been one of the craziest journeys of life. And I genuinely don't think anyone else could have tolerated it, accepted it, dealt with me, lived with me through any of it apart from her. And I just want to take a moment to just say like, you're amazing. I don't know how you did it. I appreciate you. There's no other person in the world who could have done it. There's no other person in the world that I would love to do it with. So thank you for being my.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  I feel the same way.

• 1:35:58Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for being the best person in the world. I love you so much.

• 1:36:01Speaker 01

  Love you too.

• 1:36:02Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 1:36:08Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening all the way through. I hope you learned a lot about me and my wife. You can go and follow her on Instagram. Her Instagram is at Veggie Vegan Veda. That's Veggie Vegan Veda. Hopefully that gave you a lot of insights into relationships, into connection. We're all such different people coming from such different backgrounds. And to make any relationship work, we need to find higher principles to connect on, a higher purpose that brings us together. And also find time to do what makes us happy, what we enjoy together and what brings us closer. I really hope that you've subscribed to the show.

• 1:36:52Jay Shetty?

  Please take a moment to rate and review it. It will make such a difference. I can't wait for you to listen to the next episode with one of my close friends and an amazing guest. It is none other than Russell Brand.

• 1:39:22Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, theHouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.