MBMBaM 746: Long Gone Daddy with Fists of Steel

Strong Morning, listeners! We’re speeding along with Sonic’s dad to give you the best advice about haircuts, signature pizza, and personal investigations. All of this to distract from the fact we have to come up with a new outro again. Fair winds, traveler! Suggested talking points: We Do Need to Said More Things, Enemy on a Plane, Your Situation Requires Hanging in There, The 7/11 Sorcerer, Pop Tart Fascinators Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has lost it, it's rapid into a precious friendship.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello and welcome, my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Vroom, vroom, Trav Nation, it's me, your middlest brother, Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy.

• 1:21Griffin McElroy?

  That could be thunder or the sound of a car engine that is far away. I'm Griffin.

• 1:25Travis McElroy?

  I forgot to say Travis. Yeah, that's Travis. I'm realizing- Well, that's Griffin. Griffin's in my- Griffin's got shotgun and we're gunning it.

• 1:34Griffin McElroy?

  And Justin's in the sidecar.

• 1:36Travis McElroy?

  I'm in the trunk. I'm in the boot, if you will. I'm, you know, I'm realizing, I had this moment, this chilling moment when we started recording and we were doing our introductions and then I let my mind drift, as the human mind oft does, to the off-out introductions. And I realized, I don't know-

• 1:53Griffin McElroy?

  We don't know how that's gonna go.

• 1:54Travis McElroy?

  We did it again.

• 1:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So let's not-

• 1:56Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I included a fungal lore wish. No, can't do that. That was last year.

• 2:01Griffin McElroy?

  Can we do it like, can we say it's like, instead of a wish to fungal lore, it is a question that make- a question to make the cargo?

• 2:09Travis McElroy?

  It's absolutely a question we should have had on the production meeting that we did yesterday. No, but you know, Justin, art is a living thing.

• 2:15Griffin McElroy?

  Art's alive and we should live within it, like Osmosis Jones.

• 2:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, exactly, like Osmosis Jones. That's a man without fear.

• 2:23Griffin McElroy?

  That is, he's living faster than fear for sure.

• 2:26Travis McElroy?

  Um, now Travis, uh, how, it's been a little bit. You were traveling. How are you, how are you doing? How are you feeling? I'm traveling faster than fear, Justin. Thank you for asking. I'm feeling great. I'm over my strep throat. I did have a day, speaking of osmosis Jones, where one day, and this was like before I started my antibiotics, where suddenly, like, and I didn't even have a fever, but it was like my fever broke and I felt like 25% better instantly. And my first thought, I shit you not, was there's an osmosis Jones in there fighting.

• 2:55Griffin McElroy?

  Just blasted. Yeah.

• 2:56Travis McElroy?

  Somebody just got absolutely melted by an osmosis Jones and I feel better.

• 3:01Griffin McElroy?

  It, I mean, it could have been him. It could have been David Hyde Pierce zapped Thrax, if you'll remember, was the bad guy in osmosis Jones.

• 3:08Travis McElroy?

  I think who killed Anthrax. He was like a Tylenol that killed Anthrax.

• 3:12Griffin McElroy?

  But hold on, Thrax is just the name. He's not Anthrax because Bill Murray got it from eating a dirty, a monkey's dirty egg off the ground. There's a lot in that movie that, that reaches beyond like the limits of my capacity to imagine. The scene where Bill Murray picks up a dirty egg off the ground and just guashes it into his nasty mouth, uh, has really clearly stuck with me.

• 3:35Travis McElroy?

  There's a scene where there's a, a party in a bar inside a pimple, if I remember correctly.

• 3:39Griffin McElroy?

  That's not important. The stuff that happens.

• 3:41Travis McElroy?

  No, but I'm saying is that I could try to explain this movie to someone who hasn't seen it. And it's gonna sound like a fever dream or like a made up thing.

• 3:48Griffin McElroy?

  And he gets anthrax from eating a monkey's dirty egg off the ground? I don't think that's how anthrax, I don't think that's where anthrax came from.

• 3:56Travis McElroy?

  No, it was from the government mail. It went through the gov, like publishers clearinghouse. Publishers clearinghouse or birthday cards.

• 4:05Griffin McElroy?

  Just fucking jazzing right now, guys. I'm loving it after two whole weeks of basically telling the same joke over and over again. I feel so excited.

• 4:15Travis McElroy?

  New name for the year.

• 4:16Griffin McElroy?

  God, what if?

• 4:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay, this is, okay, this is actually really good. I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so creatively backed up. And I mean, Literally, like, I can feel it in me, you know what I mean?

• 4:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:28Travis McElroy?

  The jokes.

• 4:29Griffin McElroy?

  The bile.

• 4:29Travis McElroy?

  Recorded my brother, my brother made a couple of times. Why didn't that slake my thirst? And it's like, well, you didn't do any.

• 4:36Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 4:37Travis McElroy?

  You didn't do any jokes. You barely were creative.

• 4:40Griffin McElroy?

  Like, you know, at that point, we were pagliacciing around of like, people are laughing because of the sad clowns in front of them. But we weren't actually making jokes.

• 4:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah. We, I, I love this new podcast where a monk whips his back with the cat of nine tails. And so God whispers the future into his ear. It's, they, they, they did two of them. This is.

• 5:03Griffin McElroy?

  We got, we can't, we did it. We did it. And one day we'll forget. That's the, that's what I look forward to is forgetting about this whole debacle.

• 5:10Travis McElroy?

  The day in like 2032, when we're going back over the past years and then we get to 25 and we're like, what was it?

• 5:16Griffin McElroy?

  A shiver, a shiver will, no, we'll remember the name. I'm saying a shiver will go up my spine.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  What I need to know is, and what I think we should have clarified last week, and I, I will very briefly mention this and move on. Do we have an asterisk situation? Or is this a dual theme?

• 5:35Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely not a dual theme. Tummy buddy time stuff. I think we can drop in there with.

• 5:41Travis McElroy?

  You're not even saying it right. Yeah. Tummy buddy life, I think is going to end up being like, one of those things where like, there was an interim, but they still get listed hypothetically amongst the things, you know?

• 5:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 5:52Travis McElroy?

  Where it's like, if a president like has to undergo surgery and be put under, and it's like, for that hour, the vice president was president, that's like tummy buddy life, but when we're listing it in like the proper.

• 6:05Griffin McElroy?

  I would just assume not mention that.

• 6:06Travis McElroy?

  It's a brief interregnum. No, no, no, no need, nothing more need be said.

• 6:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:11Travis McElroy?

  This is also an advice show. Well, we do need to said more things, because.

• 6:16Griffin McElroy?

  We do need to say more things for sure.

• 6:17Travis McElroy?

  Said more things.

• 6:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:19Travis McElroy?

  I recently started working at a Magnum P I. Agency. One of the things we do.

• 6:22Griffin McElroy?

  That's not what it, there's no way it says that, right?

• 6:24Travis McElroy?

  I recently started working at a P I. Agency.

• 6:27Griffin McElroy?

  And I think it's just pie.

• 6:28Travis McElroy?

  I recently started working at a raspberry pie factory.

• 6:33Travis McElroy?

  And these dang things just keep hitting me in the face. I recently started working at a PI agency and one of the things we do pretty often is run background checks for clients. However, the more I run them, the more curious I get about what my background check would show. The problem is, we do have to justify every background check. The confirmed story is someone ran a check on a very famous celebrity. Me? And that understandably raised some red flags with the site we use. We now have to justify every background check to the site and our bosses. Understandably so. Yeah. My question is, what reason can I give to run a background check on myself? That's from curiosity kills the cat in Pittsburgh. Now, I want to help you, but first, I want

• 7:17Travis McElroy?

  to talk about this spy company. Listen. Hey, pal. Listen. I pay you for the spy stuff. All right. I can use that nasty spy stuff on anybody I want to. Right. And I don't need you judging me about who I'm spying on and being a creepy C. Okay? I pay you. No, Justin, you're missing the point. As soon as you, the customer, say, give me a full background check, I'm like Tom Hardy. Now there's a reason to do it. But that, because that's money. But the employee can't just do it out of curiosity. So you can, Justin, you can, you, Justin McRoy, as long as you pay them, I don't know, $5 or whatever, you can run your nasty, dirty background check on anybody you want.

• 8:01Griffin McElroy?

  No questions asked. Which does raise the question, if I can just go to a website to get background checks done on anybody I want, anytime I want, why do I need a private investigator? Because it seems like.

• 8:12Travis McElroy?

  Oh, you have to pay an annual fee to log into the thing? And they have the bookmarks saved already and the passwords already in there. It's just like.

• 8:21Griffin McElroy?

  It's a long password.

• 8:22Travis McElroy?

  I've, I've done that. I ran background checks on you guys. And also if someone figures out what you're doing and they try to bring the heat to you, you need a, a real, a dick, a long gone daddy, Fist of Steel, who can come be in your corner and help punch you out of the jam, you know?

• 8:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure. This guy sounds cool. Tell me more about him, Juice.

• 8:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I was gonna go down an avenue of like joking about background checks on you guys, but now I'm interested in this.

• 8:46Griffin McElroy?

  Long gone daddy.

• 8:46Travis McElroy?

  This long gone daddy with Fist of Steel who's in my corner because I wanted to find out about Tom Holland or Tom Hardy or both of them. Um, are they gonna beat up Tom Hardy for me? No, uh, that's all the.

• 8:59Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, detective stuff that I know.

• 9:01Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay, cool.

• 9:02Griffin McElroy?

  There's a long gone daddy with fists of steel.

• 9:04Travis McElroy?

  That's a very selective.

• 9:05Griffin McElroy?

  Miles of shoe leather.

• 9:07Travis McElroy?

  And it was from a Bruce McCullough song that I was remembering and then I don't remember any more of it. So that's it. You need somebody to hire your P I. Company to investigate you.

• 9:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, now watch us to watch.

• 9:19Travis McElroy?

  Investigate the P I. Companies and that is what I'm offering to you. Huh.

• 9:26Travis McElroy?

  So a public investigation company. Of the private. There's a lot of private investigators. Where's the public investigator just stands on a street corner like, you guys know, you know, Steve, there should be a free service that solves crimes. Yes, right. Why haven't we invented that yet? Right. Um. I are you worried if you guys got a background investigation done on yourself? I figure there's three possibilities, right? One, there's stuff on there you weren't expecting. Stuff on there like not stuff on there that should have been on there. Or like, yeah, that's me. Which one of those three options?

• 10:01Griffin McElroy?

  Is the most.

• 10:01Travis McElroy?

  Is most satisfying to you?

• 10:04Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, uh, I would want it to be accurate. I I would hope I wouldn't want it to have a bunch of.

• 10:10Travis McElroy?

  That doesn't feel fun. Like if I wanted a background check and I got a background check and I was like, yeah, that's it.

• 10:16Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, what do you want to be on there? I guess, Trav.

• 10:18Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, find out a secret about myself I didn't know. You know what I always hope for? They don't, you don't see this as much because of internet, but when I was a kid, they used to publish these big lists of people that the government owed money to. Oh, yeah. Come get this money. We got the money for you. Come get it. And I would love to discover something like that. That would be great. If they're like secretly, the government has $400 for you. No problem. Well, I've talked about before, I think on the show, Griffin and I have very similar social security numbers. And that's because apparently um, our parents didn't get me one when I was born. And then Griffin was born and they were like, we'll just get them both done at the same time.

• 10:53Griffin McElroy?

  That and that's efficient. You, when you got three rowdy boys, sometimes you gotta look for little corners you can cut.

• 10:59Travis McElroy?

  Hey, folks, before you start judging our parents, they didn't have like cell phones. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I looked it up because for a long time I was like, that seems. Shady because they didn't let me leave the hospital with my kids until I had one. And that apparently didn't start until like nineteen ninety seven, but for a long time I was like, there's a story.

• 11:19Griffin McElroy?

  Off the grid.

• 11:20Travis McElroy?

  If I started to, if we started talking too much as kids, they didn't have an iPad that he could give us. They had to do it the old fashioned way. Just a pad. Turn the lights off.

• 11:29Travis McElroy?

  Face down on the carpet, then run out of the room real fast.

• 11:32Griffin McElroy?

  Mr. Beast wasn't even alive yet.

• 11:34Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 11:35Griffin McElroy?

  Mr. Beast was, Mr. Beast was dead. He was unborn.

• 11:39Travis McElroy?

  Our Mr. Beast was Mr. Bean. That's how, when Mr. Beast was just Mr. Bean in. Because Mr. Bean, Mr. Wizard, Mr. Beast.

• 11:48Griffin McElroy?

  Our Mr. Beast was an old man who would show up at your house and give you a check from the publisher's clearinghouse. And we liked it. That was our Mr. Beast. He didn't do anything fun. He didn't make blood sports for everyone to compete in.

• 12:02Travis McElroy?

  What reason could there be?

• 12:05Griffin McElroy?

  I got enemied and there's a version of me out there walking around. Maybe you've seen them. They are getting a lot of fights and they run a lot of stop signs. And they're getting me in a lot of trouble, so I need to check my background. Because I have forgotten which one of us is the real one.

• 12:24Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 12:26Griffin McElroy?

  I watched Enemy on a Plane and I think that's what happens in that film.

• 12:30Travis McElroy?

  It's just called Enemy? Is it called Enemy on a Plane?

• 12:33Griffin McElroy?

  It's not called Enemy on a Plane. That would be cool. It would be a much more condensed version of the film if there were two Jake Gyllenhaals on the same plane. I imagine they wouldn't have to look for each other.

• 12:44Travis McElroy?

  That's how I feel. Every time I get on a plane and somebody immediately like hits me weird and I'm like, that's my enemy on this plane. Whatever that, I see them out of the corner of my eye. They're making faces when a baby's crying.

• 12:56Griffin McElroy?

  Truly an unhinged way to live your life.

• 12:59Travis McElroy?

  You guys don't do that? You don't create a little kayfabe wherever you go?

• 13:03Griffin McElroy?

  I don't need rivals. Like, I already have so many haters crawling out of the woodwork to come and grab my stash.

• 13:10Travis McElroy?

  Sometimes it's nice to just have a little private ire towards someone. You're saying, I don't like that, but they'll never know it. I have the, I have something like that, and it's the opposite, and it's called getting through the day. And it's where I have to tell myself, you love this person. You're all just trying to get through.

• 13:25Griffin McElroy?

  Everyone's doing it.

• 13:26Travis McElroy?

  Hey. I'm not gonna act on it. It's not like, and I've decided to say that. It's just like, when they do something, it makes me feel superior to them. But you are acting on it, Travis. You gotta, your thoughts- Not hate judgment. Your thoughts have energy, right? Oh, okay. They're, you're, you're telling your heart that with your brain. Yeah, I'm powering the plane with my energy.

• 13:46Griffin McElroy?

  Some people are really susceptible to that stuff.

• 13:49Travis McElroy?

  Some people are, Trav.

• 13:51Griffin McElroy?

  I'm a big energy guy.

• 13:54Travis McElroy?

  Have you noticed that, Trav? He's got more of that. He's more of an energy guy. I mean, look at him. He's doing jazz hands.

• 14:00Griffin McElroy?

  I'm, ooh, Travis, even you saying that gave out a pulse, gave out a pulse, a different vibration, and I'm feeling it now. And I gotta say, it put a bad taste in my mouth.

• 14:10Travis McElroy?

  So what you're saying, Griffin, is that I'm sending negativity to you? And you're feeling it.

• 14:16Griffin McElroy?

  You're doing it right now to me, right now, and I'm picking it up with my dish.

• 14:19Travis McElroy?

  Tell your boss you're looking for a new job and you're worried about what's gonna show up on your background check. And then if it's bad, tell your boss, on second thought, I guess I'll stay here.

• 14:30Travis McElroy?

  I'm worried about some stuff that may or may not be about to come to the surface. And I, this is for you, because if I'm in your employ when this stuff comes out, it's not good for anybody. And then, and then, at the end of the day, you're like, I remember earlier, I just wanna say, psych, psych, psych, psych.

• 14:46Griffin McElroy?

  Got you, got you, got you, got you.

• 14:50Travis McElroy?

  Here's another question.

• 14:51Griffin McElroy?

  Please.

• 14:52Travis McElroy?

  How do I share a hairdresser, what kinda hair I want, without?

• 14:56Travis McElroy?

  Showing them a photo of Sonic's dad from the Sonic movies played by James Marsden. That's from Sonic 3 is four out of five stars.

• 15:03Griffin McElroy?

  That's good. That's a great rating for that. That film's so stupid and so much fucking fun. I can't recommend Sonic 3 enough.

• 15:11Travis McElroy?

  Am I gonna see Sonic 3 by myself?

• 15:13Griffin McElroy?

  Did you see Sonic 2?

• 15:15Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 15:15Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Yeah, you gotta see Sonic 3. Love this little guy. I can't get enough of him.

• 15:20Travis McElroy?

  Why not show him a picture of James Marsden?

• 15:23Griffin McElroy?

  James Marsden is a different guy.

• 15:25Travis McElroy?

  Marsden. It's one of the hardest things to remember in life is which one each one is. And this is something that we all struggle with all the time. Yeah, I think if it's, it's T, if it's Marsden, they're coming from the top. If it's Marsden, it's a bear in a den. That's how I remember it.

• 15:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's the good, that's the good mnemonic device. You could show him, um, I just spitballing here, a picture of James Marsden from, James Marsden. I did it too. You show a picture of James Marsden from any other project. If I could recommend, uh, what, what is the Jury Show? Jury Duty? That's a good one. He's great in that.

• 16:02Travis McElroy?

  What about just like a series of James Marsden from different thing? You're like, and I could look like this guy from X-Men, or this guy from Sonic, or this guy from Superman Returns. They're like, hey, these are all James Marsden. It's weird. I guess you're right.

• 16:19Travis McElroy?

  You know, now that you mention it. That is weird. Yeah.

• 16:22Griffin McElroy?

  What incredible, incredible hair James Marsden has. My lord in heaven.

• 16:26Travis McElroy?

  Looking at pictures and it's like. Consistent.

• 16:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's so rock steady, but it, it looks stylish.

• 16:33Travis McElroy?

  It's like rock steady in a shaggy way. It's amazing. Like it looks like, it always looks great. I mean, this is what I'm like aspiring to and can never.

• 16:42Griffin McElroy?

  Juice, I think you're close. Juice, honestly, I think you are, you are close, getting closer all the time. I'm looking at your hair. I'm looking at James Marsden hair. It's not that different.

• 16:49Travis McElroy?

  Problem is James Marsden hair in the Sonic movies is not consistent. He's growing with Sonic, isn't he? As Sonic.

• 16:57Griffin McElroy?

  Like an emotional hair? If you compare Sonic 1.

• 17:01Travis McElroy?

  Sonic's dad to Sonic three Sonic's dad. They're a little. I feel like as the radical attitude of Sonic has. Always teaching him. Is teaching him, helping him to grow. I think he's got a little bit more of a waterfall in the back. Uh huh. Okay.

• 17:14Griffin McElroy?

  It's fun. God, he looks so cool.

• 17:16Travis McElroy?

  Sonic, okay. James Marsden has hair like in a video game where you're building a character and like Sardau, for example, and you put a haircut on him and it's like, that's their hair.

• 17:27Griffin McElroy?

  It's the platonic ideal.

• 17:29Travis McElroy?

  Every time you see them.

• 17:30Griffin McElroy?

  It's standard hair.

• 17:31Travis McElroy?

  You know what I love about James Marsden?

• 17:32Griffin McElroy?

  Tell me now.

• 17:33Travis McElroy?

  There's a lot.

• 17:34Griffin McElroy?

  I'm getting worked up.

• 17:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Here's what I love about James Marsden is that it all seems attainable. A lot of guys.

• 17:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:42Travis McElroy?

  A lot of guys, you look at these Brad Pitts, you know what I mean? You're like, never.

• 17:46Griffin McElroy?

  They're different, different echelon.

• 17:49Travis McElroy?

  You look at James Marsden and folks, if you don't do this, you're gonna laugh, but you look at James Marsden, there's something about him where you're like.

• 17:56Griffin McElroy?

  There's something there.

• 17:57Travis McElroy?

  Maybe, maybe if I, I guess I could, hmm, I guess he's, is approachable, right? When in reality. You don't mean approachable like approachable and like talking to you. You mean approachable like I could approach that level. I could, you know, it's like, I think most straight white men want to be James Marsden, but they can't realize when they've gotten there. And they just keep pushing past it. Well, they wanna be George Clooney, but they would be happy to be James Marsden.

• 18:22Griffin McElroy?

  That's not true. That's not true. I don't wanna be him in the same way. I don't wanna be some sort of space angel. Do you know what I mean? Like I can't be a horse. I can't just become a unicorn.

• 18:32Travis McElroy?

  I see.

• 18:32Griffin McElroy?

  But James Marsden, if I put a a lot of work.

• 18:37Travis McElroy?

  A lot of work.

• 18:38Griffin McElroy?

  Into my appearance.

• 18:39Travis McElroy?

  Like, yeah, I mean.

• 18:41Griffin McElroy?

  If I put.

• 18:42Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, man. He's got a jawline. It's not, but the fact that you're right is immaterial. Okay, I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? It's a mental. It's a mental thing, right? But I also think that makes it easy to root for James Marsden. Cause it's like, he's like one of us, you know, like when someone like you're watching, uh, whatever the, the one where, oh, what's his face? Uh, Marky Mark, Mark Wahlberg gets to play for the Eagles? And it's like, he's one of us. He's made it. When I see. James Marsden out there doing it. I'm like, yeah, man, there's a handsome version of myself. Travis? Yes. It's so wild that this super handsome dude that got to be Cyclops at X-Men. I'm still like, come on, James, you can get there. You can get him.

• 19:27Travis McElroy?

  But you're rooting for James. What? But you're rooting for James Marsden. He's in like the only movies people go see anymore. He was in X-Men. He's super handsome. Yeah. Superman is hair is gray. I mean, come on. Superman. He's fine. He's doing just fine.

• 19:42Griffin McElroy?

  If I mute hard enough for long enough, do you think I could get a James Marsden chin?

• 19:46Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna say yes, even though the answer is no, but I feel yes.

• 19:51Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think I know how to do it.

• 19:54Travis McElroy?

  So he's a Sigma Chad is what you're saying? I can't get into the labels. Is James Marsden a Sigma Chad?

• 20:00Griffin McElroy?

  I can really stretch my neck muscles out like, like a fucking frog. Are you guys seeing this shit?

• 20:05Travis McElroy?

  When I mute, I feel like I'm just hiding a gross anthrax egg in my mouth.

• 20:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:10Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I'm gonna.

• 20:11Griffin McElroy?

  I got a wiki. Do you want to talk more about how handsome and talented and funny James Marsden is? Cause if you do, we'll save that for the Patreon exclusive.

• 20:19Travis McElroy?

  There's like, here's like, here's the thing. I feel like, you know, in my brain, I have a number of likelihood of most people, uh, whether or not they could ever like be on an episode of Clubhouse or something.

• 20:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:31Travis McElroy?

  And I have, James Marsden's is like weirdly high. And I got, in a way that I don't think reflects reality, but like.

• 20:38Griffin McElroy?

  Not at all.

• 20:39Travis McElroy?

  I'm like at a thirty percent, like a twenty percent chance. Yeah. That we could get James Marsden. We have that that feels right.

• 20:46Griffin McElroy?

  He has really cast a spell on you, Justin.

• 20:49Travis McElroy?

  Twenty percent is low, I will remind you. Not for him? If someone told you he had a twenty percent chance of winning the lottery, you'd be buying a ticket every day.

• 20:58Griffin McElroy?

  And those two events are equivalent.

• 21:00Travis McElroy?

  I mean, Griffin, tell me about your wiki. Tell me about your wiki.

• 21:03Griffin McElroy?

  Hadn't done one in a while. This one was sent by a lot of people. A lot of people sent this one. I do appreciate it. And it's, uh, how to have an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend.

• 21:13Travis McElroy?

  Huh.

• 21:14Griffin McElroy?

  Um, inventing an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend is easy. All it takes is imagination. Yeah, no shit, man.

• 21:20Travis McElroy?

  Dude, well.

• 21:21Griffin McElroy?

  Of course.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  It depends on, I would say, what your end goal is.

• 21:26Griffin McElroy?

  Because you could have a, you're right. Yeah, you could have a non-imaginative imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend.

• 21:31Travis McElroy?

  Well, I'm saying if I'm trying to have an imaginary partner in order to convince people I have an imaginary partner, then maybe a powerful imagination is actually detrimental.

• 21:40Griffin McElroy?

  That's true. Wow.

• 21:41Travis McElroy?

  That's true.

• 21:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. So maybe this whole article we're about to read is going to be wrong and it's just going to be like, don't say anything about them.

• 21:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Griffin McElroy?

  Keep it, keep it open and empty so that you can not get caught at any point. Um, here's, let's start out with create your partner beforehand, have a firm grasp of who they are, where they're from, what they do, et cetera, before sharing them with anyone. So that's the opposite of what I just said.

• 22:04Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 22:06Griffin McElroy?

  So maybe I was, I think maybe let's go with the Wiki on this one because they probably put more work into thinking about this stuff.

• 22:14Travis McElroy?

  Can you imagine if you decided I'm going to, I'm going to convince like my coworkers that I'm dating someone and you show up and you're like, yeah, I started dating this new person and then you spend an hour and a half listing off everything about them. And then they're like, how long have you guys been dating? And you're like, two weeks.

• 22:30Griffin McElroy?

  Two weeks. It's been a passionate, mostly text-based.

• 22:35Travis McElroy?

  It's like.

• 22:36Griffin McElroy?

  Mostly text-based relationship.

• 22:37Travis McElroy?

  You listed off their height in centimeters. Yeah, man.

• 22:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:40Travis McElroy?

  Those are the kinds of things that are important when you're getting to know someone.

• 22:42Griffin McElroy?

  She's from London, England. So to make her feel comfortable, I have gone metric. Um, don't give yourself away by taking the time to think up lies on the spot. That's true.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  That is.

• 22:55Griffin McElroy?

  I've been watching a lot of traitors. I think I'd beat ass at that show because I can always tell if someone pauses for even a microsecond. I catch that shit like bull. I catch that shit like bull easy.

• 23:06Travis McElroy?

  My, my secret.

• 23:07Griffin McElroy?

  Like Bull from Nightcore?

• 23:09Travis McElroy?

  Bull.

• 23:09Griffin McElroy?

  Bull from Bull.

• 23:11Travis McElroy?

  Bull from the movie Bull. I, a lot, or the TV show as well. I, uh, my secret talent in this area would be if I was trying to like trick people with this kind of thing is that I genuinely don't remember.

• 23:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:25Travis McElroy?

  A lot of stuff that people or don't know.

• 23:27Griffin McElroy?

  You have plausible deniability.

• 23:29Travis McElroy?

  Plausible deniability, like where people are like, and this guy and this and this and yada, yada, yada. Like I probably legitimately do not, I do not recall if, if that was the case or not. And I feel like that would be enough of a smokescreen. Like I believe I do have a Canadian partner.

• 23:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  Of some sort. What province? I don't know, man. Province? I don't know. What are they even called?

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  Make it memorable, I guess, is what Justin is saying. Like, pick a name like, like Jameson Hard Rock. And like, you won't forget, you won't forget that.

• 23:59Travis McElroy?

  Or start forgetting important stuff months out.

• 24:03Griffin McElroy?

  Like, okay, cool.

• 24:04Travis McElroy?

  Where it's like, oh, I drive a, um, I want to say red, like, you know, like, Oh, about yourself too? Yeah, where you, where if people later, months later are like, tell me about your boyfriend, you go up on details.

• 24:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:17Travis McElroy?

  It's like, that's, that's par for the course. That's them. You, you often forget.

• 24:21Griffin McElroy?

  That's helpful for a lot of stuff too, I imagine. Yeah, not just.

• 24:24Travis McElroy?

  It's called, it's called lowering expectations.

• 24:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  And it's probably my superpower.

• 24:28Griffin McElroy?

  Keep your partner believable. Expect people to ask questions about them. Keep your answers grounded and what you know for sure. Expect people to ask questions about them is interesting because.

• 24:37Travis McElroy?

  As is what you know for sure.

• 24:39Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 24:40Travis McElroy?

  It, I. Them not being real at all.

• 24:42Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know that when someone says I'm dating someone new, I might ask a couple of questions. I don't think I'm going to get that deep into what province are they from?

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  I also, okay, if you're someone who feels the need to invent a partner, to convince people you work, you have a partner.

• 25:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:01Travis McElroy?

  The idea that you're going to seamlessly slip it into conversation in a way that makes people ask a lot of questions is also expecting a lot from you.

• 25:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, this is, this is interesting though, because the, as an addendum to this point, it says, either give your imaginary partner an upbringing similar to your own, so you can speak about it with authority or.

• 25:20Travis McElroy?

  They grew up in my house.

• 25:22Griffin McElroy?

  You're me. Or model them on someone you know well enough to borrow a plausible background, like a best friend, roommate, or cousin. That's troubling.

• 25:31Travis McElroy?

  Maybe not the cousin one.

• 25:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Their name.

• 25:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, how did I meet him? Uh, our dads are brothers.

• 25:38Griffin McElroy?

  Their name is Susan McElroy.

• 25:44Travis McElroy?

  No, it's cool, man. We did 23 and Me and it's four people back, so.

• 25:49Griffin McElroy?

  Four, so it's fine.

• 25:50Travis McElroy?

  I think that's cool.

• 25:51Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, tell, use the truth whenever possible. Bolster stories about your partner with real details. Huh? If you tell people about a date or day trip you went on with your partner, use places you've actually been to.

• 26:03Travis McElroy?

  Oh, like real details from stuff you've done.

• 26:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, that's awesome.

• 26:06Travis McElroy?

  Really good. This is kinda lying 101. I love all this. I think this is all great stuff. Uh, this person is overcomplicating it, though. I have found, uh, with the, uh, rapid growth in Hallmark original Christmas productions that you really don't need to go through all this trouble. If you look around, there is probably someone pretending to be a boyfriend or girlfriend near you at any given moment. You can hop into one of these productions. Like that, you know, that's scripted. You know what I mean? Or, if you fake it long enough and imagine it, eventually people are gonna start filming scenes with you.

• 26:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 26:41Travis McElroy?

  For inclusion in a Hallmark Christmas movie. If there's one thing I've learned from movies and TV shows, it's that especially if you wanna move up in the corporate world, they feel more comfortable giving those kinds of jobs to married people. It's all they seem to talk about in movies. So, you should be able to just find another person in that similar position. Right? And just say like, hey, you also wanna be like CEO of the, of a company. I do too.

• 27:08Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 27:08Travis McElroy?

  But we need to be married before they'll let us do that.

• 27:11Griffin McElroy?

  You're so far outside the purview of this question. You're so lost in the sauce right now. Getting married, having a sham marriage is actually not involved with how to have an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend.

• 27:22Travis McElroy?

  That's an easy one. Just roll up wearing a wedding ring one day. I'm just like, I'm married now.

• 27:26Griffin McElroy?

  You are still so far outside of your jurisdiction in this question and what it's trying to propose.

• 27:31Travis McElroy?

  I didn't mean to cross state lines.

• 27:32Griffin McElroy?

  I'm just saying, it's asking how to imagine a boyfriend or girlfriend and you're saying how to, how to have a sham marriage.

• 27:38Travis McElroy?

  Well, I once again point out, Griffin, that the title isn't how to convince other people that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Right? Because this is not a good way to do that.

• 27:47Griffin McElroy?

  This could be fun. Yeah, no, this could just be a fun little, uh, exercise for you. Um, good, give a good reason for their absence. When you create your imaginary partner, think. Space?

• 27:57Travis McElroy?

  They're in space. They're astronauts. Not that they need space. No, they have too much of it, frankly. They're up there in it. And they're not going to be back here for 45 years. Actually, they are traveling to Mars.

• 28:10Griffin McElroy?

  My boyfriend? You mean Dr. Gideon Strongfoot? He's in that, he's in outer space right now on the ISS.

• 28:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he just, the space elevator doors just closed. He's on his way up, man.

• 28:23Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, wait, he's, I gotta get a call from him now. I can't hear you over the loud space toilet, Dr. Gideon Hardfoot.

• 28:30Travis McElroy?

  This is gonna be hard for you to understand, but he is currently hurdling away from me, but he's going to perform what's called a temporal pincer maneuver. He's gonna slingshot around the sun through a black hole, and he is actually gonna be here in time for dinner with us tonight. But if he's out here now, he will be here later, but in this reality, listen, it will just change.

• 28:51Griffin McElroy?

  Outer space is really far away.

• 28:53Travis McElroy?

  As long as you're imagining this partner, why not go the full, go the whole nine yards and tell him the absence, the reason my partner's not here. They're vampire. Can't come out during the day. That's a real problem for them. At night, he's hunting and protecting me from the werewolf faction that's always trying to, and then they're like, what? Vampires aren't real. And you're like, neither's my boyfriend. So now who looks stupid? But it's, it's like if you're gonna suggest stuff that they clearly said in the question, you can't do. Then you are really not living within the sort of the strictures that have been granted to you. Like, they did say to not make it imaginative, and you're like, giving them leathery bat wings so they can rule over.

• 29:33Griffin McElroy?

  So they can fight and suck blood and live forever. It's a fantastical world, and I think it's great. But again, it is slightly outside the purview. Can you point to a little earbud you have in your ear and say, it's a her? It's a her. I can't, you won't be able to see them because I've got a her in my ear from the movie Her.

• 29:52Travis McElroy?

  It's, so we're inventing to impress people you're inventing. AI girlfriend. Vampire out of the question. AI girlfriend.

• 30:01Travis McElroy?

  That is Now we're Some points with the big boss upstairs. Go a different way. And they're like, how come we've never met them? And be like, well, it's pretty rocky. Um, things haven't been going very well between us.

• 30:12Griffin McElroy?

  It's not a good relationship.

• 30:13Travis McElroy?

  You're trying to impress them with a bad relationship.

• 30:15Griffin McElroy?

  People won't ask questions. That's actually really good. No one's gonna ask questions after that. How are things with you and Samantha?

• 30:20Travis McElroy?

  Very well, but yeah.

• 30:22Griffin McElroy?

  We do, we simply do not like each other very much.

• 30:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh. But neither one of us is ready to pull the trigger on it. So you know what I mean?

• 30:31Griffin McElroy?

  Be consistent. Come up with one story, the tale of my amazing new partner and stick to that one story with everyone you know. They put it in quotes.

• 30:39Travis McElroy?

  That title of that story?

• 30:40Griffin McElroy?

  Nope. Come up with one story, parentheses, quote, the tale of my amazing new partner, quote.

• 30:45Travis McElroy?

  What's that, Susan? You'd like to heal the, hear the tale of my amazing? Sit down by the fire. Let me favor you with it, Susan. Derek, play upon the pipe. Accompany me. It's a tale I know well.

• 30:59Griffin McElroy?

  They suggest keeping a diary of events you've done, also keeping up to date with weather in the city where they live. Um, so that you could talk about, well, she's trapped in the freak blizzard. It's what it says.

• 31:14Travis McElroy?

  Starting to feel like a lot of work.

• 31:16Griffin McElroy?

  It is a lot.

• 31:17Travis McElroy?

  I gotta tell, I wish, if you wanna convince people you're everybody, if you wanna convince people you're not weird and you're normal, you gotta stop doing weird things. Like you got, you're trying to convince people that you're a normal, cool person.

• 31:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. And that's all we, and that's all we need. That's all we want for you on this show.

• 31:36Travis McElroy?

  You have to live within that truth. And for me, that means not looking at the weather in the city where your imaginary girlfriend lives. That's why you're weird. You have to stop doing things like that. Weird enough that you become cool is not going to work. Like I'm, I'm so, uh, like, no one goes so off rails. They find themselves back on other rails. Where they're like, I'm so, so weird that everyone thinks it's like cool and working for me. I've convinced everyone I'm cool by being so weird.

• 32:08Griffin McElroy?

  This, this next step seems impossible.

• 32:13Travis McElroy?

  That would have been such a huge sound.

• 32:14Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck TikTok. Is it, do you think it's still gonna be there by the time this episode come out?

• 32:19Travis McElroy?

  By the time this episode is up, this is TikTok. I'm thinking there's a, oh, last minute hail Mary.

• 32:23Griffin McElroy?

  Hail Mary for sure.

• 32:24Travis McElroy?

  Save it.

• 32:25Griffin McElroy?

  Come on. So this one's impossible. Enlist someone you trust to help.

• 32:31Griffin McElroy?

  Coach them on who your partner is, what they look like, how they interact with people, what they like and what they don't like to talk about. If I had this person in my life, I wouldn't need to invent an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend. If I had someone who I could trust so deeply that I could get them in on the con of my imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend, any sort of intimacy needs or human connection that I need, I haven't that incredible friend.

• 32:57Travis McElroy?

  Could you, could you thread the needle on a romantic comedy where a guy insists the help of his girlfriend in inventing a girlfriend?

• 33:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 33:10Travis McElroy?

  And he doesn't see the girl that loves him is right there because he's so busy inventing a girlfriend that doesn't exist.

• 33:16Griffin McElroy?

  That is definitely a movie that already-

• 33:18Travis McElroy?

  That's ten movies. Now, here's what's more interesting, right? Especially if your coworkers are like, have been in relationships for a while or are married, don't invent a fake boyfriend or girlfriend. Invent a fake potential boyfriend or girlfriend that you're like, oh, there's some sparks, right? Like, I don't know, I really like them. I don't know how they feel about me. That's interesting. There's tension there. Once you're like in the relationship, after a while, it's like, okay, cool, man, please stop talking about this person. That's also all I want to hear about, too. You're like, oh, I'm, I'm 44. If you like, you think there's something sparking with you in the flinty coffee shop guy, like, great, man, let's hear about that.

• 33:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, especially if I start to suspect you're making it up. Then I'm gonna get-

• 34:01Travis McElroy?

  Even more. Oh, I want every single detail.

• 34:04Griffin McElroy?

  This next step is where I think it maybe goes too far. And it is to give your partner an online presence.

• 34:12Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Here is, you've lost me. You're catfishing yourself. You're Matt fishing, if your name is Matt.

• 34:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you're just fishing, I think, at this point.

• 34:23Travis McElroy?

  You're actually putting catfish into the water.

• 34:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, what is that called? You're, you're, you're opening up the, the plane-

• 34:31Griffin McElroy?

  The sluice.

• 34:32Travis McElroy?

  Dropping thousands of pounds.

• 34:34Griffin McElroy?

  You've set up your own like trout cannon or whatever they're called.

• 34:36Travis McElroy?

  You're seeding the pond. I saw that happen once when I was a reporter for the Iron Tribute. I was there when they drew this, brought this huge stupid truck and they sent a reporter, man, this huge stupid truck to the back of Lake Vesuvius. They just opened it out and there's about a million of the most fucking confused fish you've ever seen in your-

• 35:01Travis McElroy?

  Just blasting out of it.

• 35:02Griffin McElroy?

  What a party.

• 35:03Travis McElroy?

  Guys, there was probably 200 fucking people just like, yeah. Woo. And I was one of them because that's amazing.

• 35:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, there's a lot of fish.

• 35:13Travis McElroy?

  I wish Justin that you had the scientific capabilities to interview one of those fish. Because the story they're gonna tell of like, I don't know, man. Like, I don't know what's happening. I don't know where I am.

• 35:25Griffin McElroy?

  I hope to God.

• 35:26Travis McElroy?

  Fascinating. Guys, if you are good at internet and you start digging through the Internet Tribune website, you could probably find a picture that I took.

• 35:34Griffin McElroy?

  Of a hundred thousand fish.

• 35:35Travis McElroy?

  I don't fucking know, man. It was wild. Look at all these fish. And like, check this shit out.

• 35:41Griffin McElroy?

  Um, let's go to the money zone.

• 35:55Griffin McElroy?

  I'll tell you who's really got my number, who ran a background check on me and knows everything that they need to know to do what they need to do and do it right. And that is Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix, I've been using for a while, always look forward to getting a box of, of duds. But using Stitch Fix taught me about my personal style. And so I found some brands elsewhere that I found and I liked the clothes, liked the way it fit. You know what's happened, guys? Stitch Fix has started to send me stuff from those freaking brands. They've got me so dialed in. They have, their oracles, their fashion oracles, uh, have seen, seen my future and they know exactly what I, what I like. I'm keeping everything in these boxes. Yeah, sure.

• 36:33Travis McElroy?

  Here's the thing about these duds, they're no duds. What do you think? Yeah, I like it.

• 36:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 36:40Travis McElroy?

  These studs aren't duds. There's probably a cleaner version.

• 36:42Griffin McElroy?

  These studs aren't duds.

• 36:43Travis McElroy?

  There's no duds, no duds here. No duds in these duds. No duds.

• 36:48Griffin McElroy?

  So all that was to say that Stitch Fix is good at what they do. And that is good, sending you stuff to try on and then you keep what you want and you send back what you want.

• 36:56Travis McElroy?

  And they all explode. They don't explode.

• 37:00Griffin McElroy?

  What explodes?

• 37:01Travis McElroy?

  With fashion, because they're not duds. No, come on.

• 37:04Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, like, these are live fire, like, these are fireworks.

• 37:06Travis McElroy?

  No, I know it's not there.

• 37:08Griffin McElroy?

  I don't actually think, let me see, hold on. Yeah, the copy doesn't mention anything about jazzing up what their whole brand and like what their whole identity is. It doesn't say, let me, no, there's some stuff in here about like, you get a stylist and then they

• 37:21Travis McElroy?

  It's a circus of value.

• 37:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but it doesn't say anything about jazz up a tagline for us, Travie. It's not.

• 37:28Travis McElroy?

  Well, no, that's implied. There's an assumed service.

• 37:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cool. I do like Stitch Fix a lot. It's got personal styling.

• 37:35Travis McElroy?

  I'm wearing Stitch Fix right now.

• 37:37Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, yes, I have Stitch Fix jeans on and they've always, they know what makes my tuchus work.

• 37:43Travis McElroy?

  They do.

• 37:43Griffin McElroy?

  First, personal styling for everyone. Get started today at stitchfix.com/brother. That's stitchfix.com/brother.

• 37:50Travis McElroy?

  Um, you know, uh, eating great nutritious stuff, it doesn't have to be hard. Be easy, actually. And that's a surprise to you at this point in your life. You've been told lies. That's right. I'm here to tell you the truth about Marley Spoon. Hi. You want to fast track your way to eating well without the stress? Check out Marley Spoon. They give you over a hundred recipes to choose from every week. They got cozy comfort food like a beef stroganoff or maybe something a lighter fare, like a More like stroganoff. Salmon and creamy mustard dill sauce tray bake. Imagine. They just launched a new 15 minute express recipes. That's

• 38:30Travis McElroy?

  gonna be great for me and my busy family. They put three of these on the menu every week. You got a few extra minutes to spare. They also have 20 minute options too, if you want to, you're pressed for time. But Justin. Yeah. Do they have anything from Martha Stewart? Yeah, they got at least two of Martha's incredible recipes every single week. And if you're, you know, gotta check that. If you don't trust Martha, who can you trust? Do they have any recipes from French Stewart? That is.

• 38:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they do.

• 38:59Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 38:59Griffin McElroy?

  They won't, he ghost wrote a lot of these. That man's got a palate you would not believe.

• 39:04Travis McElroy?

  Uh, this new year, fast track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon. Head on over to marliespoon.com offer slash my brother and use code my brother for up to 27 free meals. That's right, up to 27 free meals. It's like a whole year. One last time, that's my.

• 39:20Griffin McElroy?

  That's.

• 39:24Griffin McElroy?

  It's not, man.

• 39:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I love Marley's Food. I eat two every month.

• 39:31Griffin McElroy?

  They send you these two-week turbo meals, each one worth 140,000 calories.

• 39:38Travis McElroy?

  They stuff you up so bad you wouldn't even believe it. And if you try to, if you try to slice it up, they know.

• 39:46Griffin McElroy?

  In one.

• 39:47Travis McElroy?

  They won't send you anymore.

• 39:51Travis McElroy?

  They're never gonna do this again. We always fuck up. There's not enough advertisers for us to keep doing this. We gotta stop doing this.

• 40:00Griffin McElroy?

  Marley's, okay, let's be clear then. Marley's, Marley's Food doesn't send you giant, brick-like, 120,000 calorie turbo meals. They send you normal meals.

• 40:12Travis McElroy?

  Head on over to marliespoon.com offer slash my brother and use offer code mybrother for up to 27 free meals.

• 40:19Griffin McElroy?

  And make sure you use our promo code mybrother so they know we sent you.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Who's ready for some science?

• 40:30Speaker 04

  With sources and nuance.

• 40:34Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 40:38Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  Let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins. From quantum physics to the history of swearing. As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 40:52Travis McElroy?

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Me, Caroline Roper. Dr. Ella Hopper. And Tom Lom. So join us next time where we will learn about everything. Hey, are you playing a video game right now?

• 41:08Speaker 05

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of

• 41:19Travis McElroy?

  Triple Click, a video game podcast.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 41:25Griffin McElroy?

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 41:32Griffin McElroy?

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 41:35Travis McElroy?

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 41:38Griffin McElroy?

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 41:42Travis McElroy?

  Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  When should I stop telling people to have a good night? I work overnights at a truck stop typically from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. And my heart says morning starts at 5:00 AM because that's the time they announce a new day animal crossing. But it feels weird to wish people a good night at 4:30 AM. Am I wrong about when morning starts? Is there a time neutral way to wish someone well? That's from Time Sensitive in Texas. I wanted to talk about this because this, I have a couple, and I know these are me, weird hangups about this. And one is like, good morning feels like such a greeting. Good night feels like such a like parting. Right. It also feels weird at like 11:30 AM that I would say, good morning?

• 42:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. But then it's like, well, afternoon is until afternoon. Like, there's so many of like, it feels weird. If you walk up to someone at a truck stop and they're like, good morning. You'd be like, oh, good morning. If you walk up to someone at a truck stop and they're like, good night.

• 42:50Griffin McElroy?

  I love you.

• 42:50Travis McElroy?

  This is what I'm saying. Should I leave? No, good night. Good night. What do you, do you want me to, should I go?

• 42:56Griffin McElroy?

  But there's a different, this isn't good night, this is have a good night.

• 42:59Travis McElroy?

  Now, explain this one to me. Good evening. Like, if they say that, that's cool.

• 43:04Griffin McElroy?

  Good evening is welcoming, good night is get out of here. Have a good, have a good night is a blessing. Have a good night has a power and an intention behind it. And I think that it's really strong. And I love a have a good night. I'll take a have a good night over a good morning in a day.

• 43:19Travis McElroy?

  This is what Griffin is hitting on here, right? I think it's about what's in front of you. Ooh. So if you, if you think this, it's a judgment on the person, I think. Because what you're really saying is have a good rest of your day. Uh huh. If this person seems to be starting their day, that makes sense. But if they seem to be wrapping up, like heading to bed, then it's good night. But I think it's contextual to the person. What about, what do you guys think about have a good one? I love have a good one. Hey, have a good one. Have a good one. As like you finish your transaction at this truck stop, you say, have a good one, could be have a good drive.

• 44:01Travis McElroy?

  That's probably my number. Have a good one is like, for me, it's it's some combination of have a good one. Hang in there. Yeah, stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. Keep your head on a swivel. Keep your head on a swivel. Keep. Oh, and if I like the person, sometimes they're gonna keep it sleazy. Yeah, that's nice. Or take her, take, take. Take it sleazy. That's a good one. Have fun out there. Hang in, hang in there. Hang in there is a good one, because I think everybody needs to, like, I think everybody would welcome a hang in there. It's a good confirmation that your situation requires hanging in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:38Griffin McElroy?

  I'll tell you where we could really improve this whole thing, because obviously the fabric of society is just unraveling.

• 44:46Griffin McElroy?

  I'm working on that. We gotta fuse it back together and make a little bit more connection in our life. Instead of good morning, let's swap out the good part for something more direct or actionable.

• 45:00Travis McElroy?

  Oh, my God. Strong, strong. You're like, bad morning.

• 45:03Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying either, Justin. I'm saying give them a direction, like, strong morning, brave morning. And then you're telling them, like, you're gonna, you should be brave this, be brave today.

• 45:13Travis McElroy?

  Have a powerful day. Ever want is for us to just, now, now, a lot of our, like, the things that we say are from sort of our naval or mariner history. It's especially common in cultures. Do you mean about like us as McElroy's, our naval history? Us as a people, and I, I feel like the, I always am very drawn to greetings and stuff about the sea, right? Or the winds.

• 45:36Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. Fair winds.

• 45:38Travis McElroy?

  May the wind. Fair winds find, find you on the sea of advent, you know.

• 45:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, even you saying that there gave me douche chills, just if I'm being honest. If, if anyone hit me with a fair winds traveler.

• 45:51Travis McElroy?

  Fair winds. No, okay, but if I walk into a truck stop at 2 a.m. and the person behind the car is like, fair winds traveler, I will. Good. I that will help me out immensely. I would be fucking stoked, actually, and I will probably linger because that's pretty cool.

• 46:04Griffin McElroy?

  As a shopkeep, as a shop, as a vendor or shopkeep, you can hit me with a fair winds traveler.

• 46:10Travis McElroy?

  How many times would they have to say greetings weary traveler before it becomes so natural?

• 46:16Griffin McElroy?

  That I don't like. There's no profession. No, an innkeeper, a hotel manager could hit me with a greetings weary traveler. I will turn around. I will get our hotels tonight. I will find different lodgings.

• 46:26Travis McElroy?

  More of your bones by the slavery machine.

• 46:29Griffin McElroy?

  No, I don't need that.

• 46:30Travis McElroy?

  Come in, sup upon our pretzel doll.

• 46:32Griffin McElroy?

  If it's gonna be novel, it has to be a goodbye because I need to be out of there. I need to know that I'm not about to hang out with.

• 46:40Travis McElroy?

  If it's a goodbye, though, you've opened yourself up to like the, sorry, what'd you say?

• 46:44Griffin McElroy?

  What was that?

• 46:45Travis McElroy?

  And then you have to be like, I said fair winds traveler, may, may rises glory keep thee. Sorry.

• 46:51Griffin McElroy?

  Rises glory keep thee, yeah. But then you get, you know what you do, Juice? You can leave then because you're done with that. You don't have to hang out in that moment.

• 46:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true. But if you start with a greeting regardless. If you hit them with greetings and then say fair winds traveler, I feel like you've started to set the tone.

• 47:07Griffin McElroy?

  The order to them being a character.

• 47:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, we're like, ah, greetings. It is good, Travis. That is good. If you open, if you give someone a little hint that like, hey, I'm kind of a cut up. Yeah. You're gonna wanna watch out for me. I've got. I don't think you can animate it. You can't be like, ah, greetings. Oh, greetings. And then you can hit them with fair winds traveler right at the end.

• 47:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:28Travis McElroy?

  And they're like, oh, there's a bookend here. Now the pattern makes sense. Now, it, when they pay, you'd have to say, uh, that will be twenty coin of the realm and just see how that plays out.

• 47:39Griffin McElroy?

  You're making me uncomfortable. That energy.

• 47:42Travis McElroy?

  King Silver.

• 47:44Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, it's fun.

• 47:46Travis McElroy?

  Are you willing to barter? I'll take three chickens for this Slim Jim.

• 47:51Griffin McElroy?

  I need to be warned before going into this business that there is going to be some creative anachronism taking place inside of it, or else it is entrapment. If there's a sign on the door, if it's decked out like a tavern and there's chickens outside the gas station, I, I know like, okay, going in here, it's gonna be a medieval times experience for me and my kids. Um, then that is okay.

• 48:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, if I roll up and it's just a Sunoco and then there's just a sign on the bathroom door that says privy.

• 48:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:20Travis McElroy?

  But that's the only thing in the whole place?

• 48:24Griffin McElroy?

  You pop into a 7-Eleven. And there's a sorcerer behind the counter. I'm not ready. I wasn't ready for that.

• 48:31Travis McElroy?

  But I love it. It depends on how long I've been traveling at that point. If I'm 10 minutes away from my house. How weary are you? I'm not ready for that. If it's like hour eight of the drive and there's a sorcerer at the 7-Eleven, I'm good for another four hours of driving.

• 48:47Griffin McElroy?

  Um, 4 a.m. 4 a.m. feels good.

• 48:52Travis McElroy?

  See, I think it's six, man.

• 48:54Griffin McElroy?

  Good dawn.

• 48:55Travis McElroy?

  6 a.m.? Sunrise.

• 48:59Travis McElroy?

  I think it's sunrise. Cause then it's dawn and then it's morning. 6 a.m. is the, is for me. The cutoff where if we have like a flight the next day for, for tour and I know that I have to wake up before 6.

• 49:14Griffin McElroy?

  You're waking up the night before.

• 49:16Travis McElroy?

  This is a problem. Like this is a huge, like, it's like, I'll recheck that. Like, certainly I'm not doing this math right. I can't be waking up before 6 a.m. Okay. That's not right. Okay, but I'll judging aside, guys, it's midnight, right? Night, dawn, morning, afternoon, evening. You're trying to quantify something that can't be.

• 49:36Griffin McElroy?

  There is no, there is no firm time.

• 49:38Travis McElroy?

  Night ends when the sun comes up.

• 49:41Griffin McElroy?

  When does evening begin?

• 49:43Travis McElroy?

  Afternoon, 5 o'clock. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Afternoon, you said afternoon. That's interesting. Afternoon.

• 49:48Griffin McElroy?

  So maybe there's not a firm limit on these things. It's all abstract. It's all, this is what we're trying to.

• 49:55Travis McElroy?

  But we know that like, the sun goes down, night begins. The sun comes up, day begins. If someone, if someone at 4:30 is like, have a good night.

• 50:04Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy.

• 50:06Travis McElroy?

  Enjoy the rest of your night.

• 50:07Griffin McElroy?

  It's time to, it is time to go. I, if I'm up at 4:30, it's the next day. If I'm in the gas station at 3:30, maybe I have, I'm coming home from a very long shift.

• 50:18Travis McElroy?

  Here's the problem. It's a societal problem and not a time problem. We need. Problems with our. Society? Yeah, we need to start having indicators that let me, the shopkeep, know if you're heading home or heading out. Okay. Right? So that way, if you're heading home, right, after a night shift and you're going to bed, it is night for you. You're going to bed. Oh, but you- You've just woken up and it's still early. It's morning for you. Normally, this would be very difficult, but you're, as a truck station attendant, one of the is supremely well positioned to see what they're putting in their body, right? Ooh. If you're, if you're, uh, my grandpa Dan, when he was up late driving for the railroad and he would stop at a truck stop, he would get a chocolate milk and a big bottle of Excedrin for the caffeine

• 51:03Travis McElroy?

  and for his headaches. That's what's his thing. If I see someone getting a big bottle of Excedrin and chocolate milk, they're not going to sleep. You know what I mean? Are you sure about that? They're got, they got a lot- Best, his best vehicle for caffeine was Excedrin? I know. Yeah. I know. That's why he's such an unhappy person. If I-

• 51:28Travis McElroy?

  We should just- Okay.

• 51:31Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 51:35Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch. Squad!

• 51:39Travis McElroy?

  I want two munch. Squad!

• 51:44Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad, this podcast of the podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. And I got two big stories. That's why I had to cut us off previously. I got two big stories. Here's the first one. Pop Tarts Krispy Kreme, they're doing it. Huh. Okay. Yeah. Uh, Pop Tarts beginning today for a limited time at participating shops, and I don't have a Krispy Kreme in Huntington, so I'm probably going to drive to Charleston. Pop Tarts is doing a Krispy Kreme collabo. Krispy Kreme popping off the new year with three insanely tasty new donuts. We got a Pop Tarts fro- Frosted strawberry donut, which is an unglazed shell, always so appetizing when they put it that way. Filled with strawberry filling dipped in shortbread icing and topped with shortbread pieces, sugar sprinkles,

• 52:29Travis McElroy?

  strawberry filling drizzle and a frosted pop tart bites piece.

• 52:33Griffin McElroy?

  That's a lot of shit, man.

• 52:35Travis McElroy?

  Hey, Justin, can I have a moment to say something about these donuts and pop tarts?

• 52:42Travis McElroy?

  One, it's really blurring the lines because this is in a wild, like, pop tarts and donut are not that far apart.

• 52:51Griffin McElroy?

  They're friends.

• 52:53Travis McElroy?

  In the like, if I'm breaking down by species, phylum, kingdom, whatever, right? And so to say, we put strawberry icing and like a cream cheese topping. So now it's like a pop tart donut. And even looking at this picture, at least for two out of the three styles, they've gone to the effort of just gluing on a little.

• 53:15Griffin McElroy?

  A little pop tart. So yeah, the little pop tart fascinator on some of these is what I really want to get to.

• 53:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I love that. But the third design, you don't even get that.

• 53:27Travis McElroy?

  Well, um, that's true, but it's a donut based on a pop tart. So like, I don't know what you. But you can't tell me strawberry icing, the new thing in donuts.

• 53:40Griffin McElroy?

  It's strawberry filling, a shortbread icing with pieces of shortbread on it.

• 53:45Travis McElroy?

  This just feels so corporate. They don't make pop tarts bite. This doesn't feel inspired the way that donuts normally do. This feels like a cash grab. It's a cash grab. That's true, Trav. Um, that's actually like, wow, I hadn't even thought about that. Yeah, man. I think they're just doing this to sell donuts. I, I don't think this is about the passion. I don't, I, I expect better from Kellinova, a leader in global snacking, international cereal and noodles. Usually they're in it for the heart, you know, they have the heart of, of snacking company. They do. They're doing a bound sugar one and a chocolatey fudge donut one.

• 54:25Travis McElroy?

  Krispy Kreme and Pop Tarts are coming together for the very first time and you know the result will be crazy good, says Dave Skinner, Krispy Kreme Chief Growth Officer.

• 54:35Griffin McElroy?

  You need to pick a voice for Dave Skinner, Justin.

• 54:37Travis McElroy?

  Well, Dave Skinner's voice when Count Donut does it is different from the Dave Skinner voice when I do it. It actually, for a second, I thought, why is this so weird to me? And then I realized Count Donut's not it. Yeah. Krispy Kreme and Pop Tarts fans will love kicking off the year with this delicious collaboration. Now, what is, let's check in with Calanova. What do they have to say about this?

• 54:57Griffin McElroy?

  Pop Tarts aren't just for the toaster. They can infuse culinary creativity to delight consumers. Krispy Kreme has done an incredible job of bringing this opportunity to life, combining their iconic donuts with the beloved flavors of Pop Tarts to create a truly one-of-a-kind experience for fans of both brands. We're proud of this partnership to bring crazy good to donuts and donut lovers in unexpected ways.

• 55:25Travis McElroy?

  Can you, words mean things and saying a one in a lifetime, once in a lifetime experience.

• 55:31Griffin McElroy?

  Once in a lifetime.

• 55:32Travis McElroy?

  The idea that I'm gonna eat this donut and then begin to weep because nothing will ever match that exact experience again, that's like, this is, I'll never know this again.

• 55:43Griffin McElroy?

  I also love when a press release refers to me as a consumer. That's awesome.

• 55:48Travis McElroy?

  Cause that's.

• 55:49Griffin McElroy?

  That makes it feel like this press release should be barking at me from a loudspeaker in the corner of my house and every morning they deliver a hot and fresh, oh, hey, who's this?

• 55:59Travis McElroy?

  You don't know who that is?

• 56:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's, uh, it's one of the Mannings.

• 56:02Travis McElroy?

  The younger Manning, I believe. Elijah. As I, when I start to, when I start this, before I start this press release, I got this up for you guys and you could just kinda tell me what's happening here while I pull the press release.

• 56:15Griffin McElroy?

  Looks like Eli Manning is holding a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch.

• 56:17Travis McElroy?

  A human bottle of ranch is holding a real bottle of ranch?

• 56:20Griffin McElroy?

  Eddie squirted either some of himself or the ranch dressing bottle onto a big pepperoni pizza.

• 56:26Travis McElroy?

  And his face and body language is a shrug.

• 56:30Griffin McElroy?

  He is making the littlest stinker face I've ever seen. Now, what do you see?

• 56:34Travis McElroy?

  He's apologized like, I don't know, man.

• 56:36Griffin McElroy?

  Details, though. Let's get more details, guys. What else do you see? Give me more clues.

• 56:39Travis McElroy?

  So it's a Hidden Valley Ranch is partnered with Pizza Hut.

• 56:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:43Travis McElroy?

  To make a signature ranch pizza. And then I see just down here at the bottom, Justin, score a one of a kind resin encased collectible.

• 56:52Griffin McElroy?

  And then you've cut off.

• 56:53Travis McElroy?

  Is it bottle of ranch or pizza or Eli Manning? Get a resin encased Eli Manning. No, a pizza.

• 57:01Griffin McElroy?

  A resin encased, collectible Pizza Hut pizza that Eli Manning has signed with ranch dressing.

• 57:06Travis McElroy?

  Holy shit. That's what we're seeing scrawled across the pizza. Yeah. So we've got three images here that you can use.

• 57:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 57:15Travis McElroy?

  For this. Uh, one of these three, for the big game, you gotta have big prizes.

• 57:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 57:21Travis McElroy?

  And the new easy squeeze bottle from Hidden Valley Ranch is so, uh, exciting, uh, and powerful. Can you scroll back up? The second image is killing.

• 57:31Griffin McElroy?

  So fucking good, man.

• 57:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, my God. Even the 10 other winners prize, can I tell you the 10 other winners will receive a year's supply of Hidden Valley Ranch and Pizza Hut pizza. So you wanted me to? Scroll back up just real quick. This is what you want to, you want to see the? Yeah. So here's, these are images you could use, I guess, to tell your friends, like, we could win this or we'll use this, right? Right. So the first one is just a picture, has the logo and then ranch on one side, pizza on the other. And then the third picture, bottle of ranch pizza. The middle one.

• 58:01Griffin McElroy?

  Sitting on a yard line on a football.

• 58:03Travis McElroy?

  The middle one is a very close up of just a hand holding the pizza, as if to say, in case you're wondering what it looked like when Eli Manning will scrawl his name in ranch, a little something like this.

• 58:16Griffin McElroy?

  Some clumsy, I will say, layer mashing, uh, happening in the photo edit.

• 58:22Travis McElroy?

  They're changing the game with the launch of their brand new easy squeeze bottle, making it even easier to add ranch flavor to everything.

• 58:29Griffin McElroy?

  I will say that's next level. I fucking hate that I have to put ranch dressing bottles upside down where they then rest on the very small nozzle end of the bottle, top heavy the whole time, threatening to fall over.

• 58:40Travis McElroy?

  I'm willing to bet that here, easy squeeze actually translates to, we use thinner, cheaper plastic. So it's easier to crush it in your hands, like a Coke bottle. Uh, to celebrate, they are teaming up with Pizza Hut and football legend Eli Manning to create the one of a kind Hidden Valley Ranch signature pizza delivered by Pizza Hut. This unexpected collectible is a crave worthy Pizza Hut. Unexpected is doing a lot of work there. This unexpected collectible is the, yeah, forbidden. It should probably say.

• 59:14Travis McElroy?

  This unforeseen collectible. Ungodly. Unimaginable collectible. This unfathomable collectible is a crave worthy Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza autographed by Eli Manning using the precision and control of the new.

• 59:29Griffin McElroy?

  The precision and control afforded by these easily squeezely bottles.

• 59:35Travis McElroy?

  Easy squeeze model preserved in resin for eternity. You haven't tested that Pizza Hut. You don't know.

• 59:43Griffin McElroy?

  You could encase this ranch covered pizza in a 10 by 10 foot lucite cube and I would still be able to smell it. You could put this motherfucker in carbonite. I would smell it from the other room.

• 59:57Travis McElroy?

  P S, PSA, the largest and most respected third party authentication and grading company for trade. Oh, sorry. PSA is the name of it. This is not a public service announcement.

• 1:00:06Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, cool.

• 1:00:07Travis McElroy?

  PSA, the largest and most respected third party authentication and grading company for trading cards memorabilia will authenticate the prize pizza. And they're, yeah, like, hey, Vicky, you won't believe the day I had today. I had to watch Eli Manning sign a pizza with ranch and then sign a paper that say, yep, he did it. Yeah, that sure is that one. Our new bottle design is a game changer for ranch lovers, making it even easier to enjoy every drop of Hidden Valley Ranch without the mess.

• 1:00:36Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think about ranch dressing coming in drops.

• 1:00:41Travis McElroy?

  It's more of a stream.

• 1:00:43Griffin McElroy?

  It's a viscous, there's a viscosity. There's no dropping that's going to happen.

• 1:00:47Travis McElroy?

  If a recipe called for five drops of ranch, you would.

• 1:00:50Griffin McElroy?

  Lose your mind.

• 1:00:52Travis McElroy?

  Also, imagine if someone said, oh yeah, baseball, this new innovation is a real game changer. We made it a little easier to swing the bat. It's not really game changer. The game's, the game has changed for ranch lovers, though, I think it's fair.

• 1:01:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, because the bottle.

• 1:01:05Travis McElroy?

  A one lucky winner will receive the one of a kind Hidden Valley Ranch signature pizza encased in resin. And the ten runners up are, uh, will receive a year's supply of Hidden Valley Ranch and a Pizza Hut pizza to create your own signature moments. Yeah, but you gotta think about, one, the taxes you're paying.

• 1:01:22Griffin McElroy?

  You tell me how much I need in a year.

• 1:01:24Travis McElroy?

  The taxes you're paying on winning that pizza, you're gonna end up having to give back at least thirty percent of that pizza. But also, when I win that resonant case Eli Manning signed pizza, do they also provide free security for me and the pizza for life? Because I've just become a target, you know what I mean? You have a one of a kind piece of art there.

• 1:01:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Travis McElroy?

  That, and that, and, and are they gonna look after you? This is what I'm saying. Who's gonna keep me and my family safe now that we have that Crystal Pizza? Here's a question, who pays the taxes on this pizza? That's what I'm saying, Justin. Is that my problem? Do I have to deal with that?

• 1:02:02Griffin McElroy?

  You gotta stop zooming in. You have to stop zooming into Eli Manning's face.

• 1:02:06Travis McElroy?

  That face is actually saying very clearly, I'm not responsible for this. Um, so thank you. So you can go get that pizza if you want. Uh, I will say this.

• 1:02:16Travis McElroy?

  Or you can just buy a pizza and some.

• 1:02:18Griffin McElroy?

  Sign it yourself.

• 1:02:20Travis McElroy?

  On the actual thing, the, the website, it says that the pizza is dehydrated and you should not consume because it won't be safe to eat. Do you know how, how sad it is that they have to hedge against the possibility? They're only doing one.

• 1:02:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:34Travis McElroy?

  So they have to hedge against the possibility that the one singular pizza they make like this is gonna end up in the hands of the one person on earth. Who would try, who would be like, yuma, yuma. You guys remember that, that heartbreaking scene of The Walking Dead? Where they were all out of food and the only thing left was their Eli Manning signed pizza and they had to break open the resin? Yeah, it's dehydrated. That means we have to mix it with zombie piss. I, I found the show took a weird turn in season thirty-three. And they mix zombie piss with Eli Manning's dehydrated resin. And they used Eli, zombie Eli Manning zombie piss to do it. It was a good cameo. I can't believe they got him.

• 1:03:11Griffin McElroy?

  There's still some good episode, the whole original cast got up already. Um, there's still some good episodes. The Eli Manning Lucite Pizza arc.

• 1:03:21Griffin McElroy?

  Was, lost me a little bit.

• 1:03:23Travis McElroy?

  But the robot stuff is great.

• 1:03:25Griffin McElroy?

  It's great. And like Negan, we're loving him.

• 1:03:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. Uh, I know I've enjoyed getting to, to record it. I'm, I'm very excited. Hey, Florida. Or Flo Rida. Um, February 20th.

• 1:03:42Griffin McElroy?

  Flo Rida wanted to come to our shows.

• 1:03:44Travis McElroy?

  Oh, my God, are you kidding me? February 20th and 21st, my brother, my brother, me and Taz are gonna be in Tampa. It's our first live Taz in Florida. Uh, and then February 22nd, my brother, my brother and me is in Jacksonville, Florida. Tickets are on sale now. Uh, more info and ticket links, go to bit.ly/macaroytours.

• 1:04:03Griffin McElroy?

  We got a new plush that we, uh, been working on, uh, in collab with U2's. It's a Miggy plush. Miggy Mackerel from the McElroy Family Clubhouse, a streaming program you can watch on our YouTube channel every Tuesday. Uh, it's only available for a little bit, though. It's only available till January 28th. So go to miggy dot U2's. That's Y O U T O O Z dot com. And, uh, grab, grab yourself one of these while supplies last.

• 1:04:29Travis McElroy?

  Speaking of, there's only a couple of Champions Grove packages left. It's the gaming event that I put on now in its second year. Uh, Memorial Day weekend. It's fun. I did it and I liked it and you're not better than me. There you go. Uh, so go to championsgrove.com for all the information and to see, uh, the remaining, uh, packages. Also, we've got a wake up and do good shirt in the merch store and all proceeds from that shirt go to the transgender law center, which organizes assist, informs and empowers thousands of individual community members towards a long-term, national trans-led movement for liberation. And, uh, 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund.

• 1:05:09Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you so much to Montane for the U2 theme song, "My Life Is Better With You." Um, let this, let this powerful music start your year off so right. Um, and then let's end the show very quickly. Let's just end the show very quickly. We don't know, we don't have the thing.

• 1:05:27Travis McElroy?

  Maybe we should each share a personal fear.

• 1:05:30Griffin McElroy?

  No, go ahead, Juice. Juice had it.

• 1:05:34Travis McElroy?

  That's all, folks. You do still need to say your name, though. No, I don't want to say that. I, I won't, I don't want to put my name on something that doesn't have an ending. You know what I mean? Like, I really am proud of the whole episode. Could we recreate, like? Recap the episode? Yeah, like recreate, like, imagine, like, we're gonna create a sound bath, but it's the three of us getting into a car, turning on the engine and driving away really fast. Like, you think we could make the sound of that? We already did sound bath. Ah, damn it, you're right. Yeah, and we did wishes, and now we could do The Distance by Cake a cappella. Okay, let's, let's just, I mean, yeah, I mean, let's. No bad ideas. He's going for speed!

• 1:06:18Travis McElroy?

  That was sort of B-52s. All alone, all alone, all alone, in his time of. Reluctantly crouched at the starting line! My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. That's not gonna be it. By the end of the year, it's gonna be sick. We're gonna have it. We'll figure it out. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad square on the lips.

• 1:07:09Travis McElroy?

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