39 Harsh Truths I Wish I Knew In My 20s

Join Codie Sanchez on her 39th birthday as she reveals the 39 indispensable lessons she wishes she knew earlier in life. From the importance of choosing your hard paths and asking the right questions, to prioritizing relationships and building urgency—these insights cover all realms of life including health, wealth, relationships, and personal growth. Discover why it's crucial to work hard before working smart, the power of being disliked, and how faith can fuel your dreams. Don't miss her reflection on the significance of acting now, embracing courage over comfort, and the vital importance of reputation. 00:00 Introduction 00:07 Choosing Your Hardships 00:20 The Power of Questions 00:36 Amateurs vs. Pros 00:48 Chasing Purpose, Not Billions 01:01 Weaponized Distraction 01:26 Financial and Fitness Wisdom 01:41 Surround Yourself with Good People 02:04 Prioritizing Relationships 02:20 Private Reps Lead to Greatness 02:29 Advice from the Right People 02:52 Inconvenience Yourself for Others 03:34 The Muscle of Urgency 03:52 Understanding Leverage 04:18 Building and Criticizing 04:45 Inputs Become Outputs 04:51 The Cost of Inaction 05:08 Simplicity Over Complexity 05:21 Momentum and Success 05:39 Keeping Promises 06:01 Stand Out and Fight 06:05 Faith Over Worry 06:25 Nobody Cares, So Do What You Want 06:57 Play the Long Game 07:22 Wake Up Early 07:29 Work Hard to Work Smart 07:59 Reputation Matters 08:19 Ask Questions, Get Dirty 08:31 Overcoming Self-Doubt 08:42 Go Big or Go Home 09:05 Comfort is the Enemy MORE FROM BIGDEAL: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ: 🎥 ⁠YouTube⁠ 📸 ⁠Instagram⁠ 📽️ ⁠TikTok⁠ OTHER THINGS WE DO: ⁠Our community⁠ ⁠Free newsletter⁠ ⁠Biz buying course⁠ ⁠Resibrands⁠ ⁠CT Capital⁠ ⁠Main St Hold Co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:30Codie Sanchez?

  Today's my 39th birthday, like, right now, today. I thought I'd give you a list of 39 things I wish I knew many years ago. Choose your hard. Being poor is hard. Getting rich is hard. Being overweight is hard. Getting fit is hard. Being married is hard. Being single, hard. Every choice in life is hard. If you don't choose hard, your hard will choose you. Ask more questions. Socrates said, "Smart people learn from everything and everyone. Average people learn from their experiences. Stupid people already have all the answers." So, when you ask the right question, you will find out the right answer. Amateurs want to do what they love. Pros learn to love what it takes. It's not about what you're good at, it's about doing what needs to be done.

• 1:13Codie Sanchez?

  There's a real big difference, and if you figure it out, you'll be what most people won't. I have a friend who used to work for two billionaires. After all he's seen, he said to me, "I wish you not one penny over $299 million. Reality gets lost somewhere after that." So, don't chase billions. Chase purpose. We've weaponized distraction against ourselves. We've turned silence into the enemy. Every goddamn moment has to be productive now. Can't just walk near the podcast. Can't shit in peace, got to scroll. Can't eat without Netflix numbing the edges. It's mental fast food. You don't need empty calories for your body or for your mind. One of the greatest unlocks you can have: be bored more often. Turn off your phone, and your brain turns on. Once you lose it, it's hard to get it back.

• 1:57Codie Sanchez?

  This is good advice for finances and fitness. So, you get in shape, it's easier to stay in shape. I rarely meet someone super fit who also doesn't work incredibly hard in the other areas of their life. This is another one to remember. If someone you just met is talking shit about their ex, friend, partner, boss, guess what? They will be doing the same to you next. So surround yourself with people whose character you admire, and you'll begin to notice your character improves too. Behind every successful person is a story that gave them no choice. We often don't even realize that a pain point we're dealing with can become our turning point. You know that old saying, "Put your relationships first"? It turns out it's right.

• 2:38Codie Sanchez?

  My number one regret in life, not prioritizing my marriage above just about everything. Marrying well is the biggest life hack of all. And I should know, because I've done it twice. And I didn't do it right the first time. You become the person you want when no one else is watching. It's the quiet, private reps that will never be cheered that actually lead to greatness. Never take advice from someone who hasn't actually achieved the thing they're advising about. Incredibly underrated hack. If you don't want their life, don't listen to their life advice. If you don't want their marriage, don't listen to their marriage advice. If you don't want their bank account, don't take money advice from them. Why do we so often take advice from people who haven't actually done the thing they're telling us how to do?

• 3:22Codie Sanchez?

  Inconvenience yourself. Don't want to go to a friend's baby shower? I don't know, get up and do it anyway. This generation went way too hard setting boundaries. Show up for those you love even when it's not convenient. By the way, my friend Kim taught me this one because I do not like picking up people from the airport. In fact, I think people who ask you to pick them up from the airport, they hate you a little bit inside. She vehemently disagrees with me. Thinks that we should all do airport pickups at all times. She's probably also one of those people that says that you should ask your friends to move. You can tell me in the comments if you are either one of those two people, and then you can unsubscribe, not just kidding. But seriously, sometimes we should probably do things even when it's not convenient. The greatest muscle you can build is urgency.

• 4:06Codie Sanchez?

  Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done. Everything changes when you do. This is a lesson learned from many, many millionaires and billionaires. Probably the number one thing I've done to get rich. If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Period. Exclamation point. You will be richer when you understand leverage, but you'll also be aware of when people are trying to take advantage of you. Learn it so you can spot it. Learn it so you can spot it in your life and learn it so you can spot it in business. There's good leverage and there's bad leverage. You must learn to be disliked or you will find yourself stuck in a prison of other people's beliefs. So stop relying on the approval of others. Once you do, you'll stop caring about their disapproval too. You don't have time to hate someone when you're busy building.

• 4:51Codie Sanchez?

  The less you build, the more you criticize. As you work, your own jealousy dissipates. You're not going to notice somebody else is motoring when you're too busy doing it yourself. And it turns out getting to work means you're getting your mind right. Show me your fridge and I'll show you your health. Show me your books and I'll show you your goals. Show me your calendar, I'll show you your priorities. Show me your friends, I'll show you your future. Your inputs will become your outputs, so choose super fucking wisely. 99% of people don't move fast enough. Believe it or not, you have an actual cost to inaction. Every time you say one day, you cost yourself future dollars. I waited a year to take my Goldman Sachs job. That delay cost me six figures. When it's go time, go.

• 5:36Codie Sanchez?

  This one's important. Complexity makes you seem smart. Simplicity makes you money. It's not just a business philosophy. Learning to boil complex problems down to their essential truths will improve your thinking, communication, and discernment. The longer something has been successful, the more likely it is to continue to be successful. This is called a feedback loop of life. And it turns out this is true for business and it's also true for you. Once you get the momentum going, it's really hard to stop. The most underrated secret to success? You say you will do a thing, then you actually do the thing. 90% do not do this. So say only what you mean and then actually follow through.

• 6:18Codie Sanchez?

  That means you keep the most important promises that you make, the ones that you make to yourself. The fastest way to build a memorable brand is to pick a fight. The fastest way to make a real connection is to make a real impression. So don't fit in, stand out, and if you stand up for something, fight for it. A lesson I repeat often. Never let your worry be bigger than your faith. I think you should have some faith that God doesn't give you a seed without provision for it to grow. So instead of you saying why it won't work, maybe have a little faith in that he wouldn't give you a dream if he didn't think that it was possible for you to achieve it. Nobody cares about your life. They think about you for one second and then they think about themselves again. So you might as well do what you want.

• 7:03Codie Sanchez?

  Embarrass yourself. Do the stupid thing. Nobody's watching anyway. You are falling behind people dumber than you. So start, learn, do it again, a bit better. That's it. It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to be afraid of failure because right now, somebody who is not as good as you, who has a worse product, who's not as smart as you, is making more money than you do. Why? Because they're not afraid to sell and start. Play the long game. You will wish you started earlier and worked harder when you are young. I promise you, the earlier you plant the seeds, the sooner you'll eat the fruit. My husband always loves to tell me when I don't want to do something. He says, when's the best time to plant a tree? And I say 10 years ago. And then he goes, when's the second best time? Now.

• 7:46Codie Sanchez?

  So if you are going to start and you know it's something that you need to do, do the rarest of all things. Do it now. Waking up at 5:45 a.m. solves 99.9% of daily issues. So wake up early, like actually early, see what happens. Working smarter, not harder, is a beautiful lie. You will not know how to work smart until you've worked very hard for an irrationally long time. If you actually want to work smarter, work harder, and only then can you recognize the difference between the two. Size of the problems you solve equal the size of your bank account. So solve bigger problems. And similarly, as you make effort to solve the biggest problems in your life, you'll notice that your capacity to solve problems in all realms of your life grows. So just solve bigger problems.

• 8:29Codie Sanchez?

  The smartest people I know obsess on their reputations. Do not play short-term games with your name. My favorite story from Warren Buffett is, he said, "If you lose me a dollar, I'll forget. If you lose me one cent of reputation, you will be fired." And that's something I try to remember for myself. The dumbest people I know, they never stop talking. The smartest people I know, never stop asking questions. The best business school, being in business. Don't be intimidated by labels or qualifications. Just get your hands dirty and the rest will follow. Don't always trust your self-talk. Your anxiety is lying to you. You will be fine. You've already survived this far. The odds are actually already in your favor. If you're gonna do something, go big.

• 9:13Codie Sanchez?

  Everyone admires courage. No one admires the timid. Failing big is way better than failing small. Do it for the story. There was a quote that stuck with me. She says, "I'm going to pray like it's up to God and I'm going to work like it's up to me." So I kind of think that if you're gonna ask the big man for prayers, you better back it up with some work ethic. Otherwise, it's a little bit half-baked. You're not too old, you're just too comfortable. The most addictive drug is comfort. It's also just never too late to start. You know, I didn't get married until I was 33. I didn't make content until I was 35. I didn't start my podcast until I was 37. At 30, I thought I'd peaked. At 39, I know it's just getting started.

• 9:56Codie Sanchez?

  39 lessons that I wish I knew then. I hope it makes you guys more money. Tell me your best lessons. Only 13% of you are subscribed to the YouTube channel and on native podcast apps. If you're not already subscribed, do me a huge favor. Subscribe now. That helps the show grow. So as my friend Andy Frisella says, "Don't be a hoe, share the show." Hey, if you're a business owner right now and you like the things you were hearing on this podcast, I have something that I haven't talked about publicly before that's just for you. It's called our SMB Boardroom. This is for small business owners who want to grow. It is for business owners who are on their way to making at least seven figures a year. If this is you, hit the link down below. Talk to our team. This is the place that can be your late-night emergency call

• 10:41Codie Sanchez?

  for the things that go bump in the night in your business. If right now you feel like you're plateauing or you feel like you don't know how to handle your growth, we got you. So click the link below, SMB Boardroom. We just built it for you builders. Kind of obsessed with it. And I think if you are a builder, there's no place you're gonna want to be, except here.

• 11:08Speaker 02

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