#128 - Robert Oberst and JP McDade

Robert Oberst and JP McDade join the podcast for a special road episode from the Dreamboat Tour to discuss ways Robert’s childhood resembled a fairy tale, growing up broke, how his parents had way too many kids, his unexpected journey from theater kid to strongman, and much more. Robert, JP and Stav help callers including a guy who’s less attracted to his girlfriend after they’ve started rockclimbing together, and a sports mascot who wants tips on how to deal with hecklers. Follow Robert Oberst on social media: https://www.instagram.com/robertoberst https://x.com/RobertOberst https://www.youtube.com/@robertmoberst https://www.tiktok.com/@robertoberst Follow JP McDade on social media: https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% off Ridge with code STAVVY at https://www.ridge.com/STAVVY #Ridgepod Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod *Referral Reward Disclaimer: As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com/ and use promo code STAVVY to try your first month of BlueChew FREE -- just pay $5 shipping. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:25Speaker 01

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• 0:54Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-Stavi. Call in and solve your problems. We're in the mobile command center. Stavi's World is mobile. We are in an undisclosed location.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Off the grid.

• 1:11Stavros Halkias?

  We're off the grid. You'll never find us.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  The address is...

• 1:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, come to whoever's in this Airbnb months after we've left. You know, this is a little... This is from the vault, folks. We're... The... This is the beginning of the tour. We have... We're pumped to have on the couch Robert O'Burses here. Oh, yeah. Elvis trying out a Uche here.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  I appreciate it.

• 1:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's a little more diffuse. It's not as like... The other one is like a stadium. This is like Eight Guys Are Happy Roberts here. I know, I know.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  I think that's more like realistic.

• 1:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. We have, uh... We have Robert here. Of course, Jimmy Mack, JP. McDade is here. He's opening on this leg of the tour for much of the beginning and the end. So, we figure, let's get him... Let's get him in here Ed McMahon-style. He's the sidekick whenever he's here. And we're thrilled that- I'm blind drunk. Yeah, and he's so drunk. He's rela... I told him, you can be on the tour, but you have to relapse. I said anything for Mr. H. I'm like, I'm like, JP, you get... You want... You want this $85 a night? Or do you not want this $85 a night? Bring me my medicine. Do you want to split bunk beds with Eldis every night for eighty-five dollars? Or not? This is a, this is, this is a real show business opportunity for you. I'm Eldis' human nightlight. I stand next to his bed.

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  And flashlight. From the inside. Hey, I wear many hats.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  The booze helps now.

• 2:38Stavros Halkias?

  Loosens it right up. Yeah, we're pumped to have Robert here, but thanks for coming, dude.

• 2:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm excited to be here, man. Thanks for having me.

• 2:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's three strong guys. Three equally strong men on a podcast.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  A lot of sexual energy on the couch right now.

• 2:52Stavros Halkias?

  It is awesome because everyone on this tour, I, you know, I'm, uh, well, let's say five-seven. You know what? I am actually five. Here's something that annoys me. I actually am five-seven because everybody who says they're five-seven is five-six. I like that you said it like a negotiation. Like, we'll call it five-seven. Because I was about to be like, I'm five-eight, but that's me lying, right? Even though.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  You give yourself a quarter.

• 3:13Stavros Halkias?

  Even though with shoes on. Look, when I go to the doctor, they weigh me with shit with my pants on. Why don't I get to say five-eight with shoes on? You get it on the other end. Anyway, the point is, I'm five-seven. I have no, you know what? I don't even give a fuck. I have no shame about it. It just pisses me off because everyone who says they're five-seven is five-six. But on this tour, Eldis is six-five. Big Dick Saxon, who you guys have met on the Patreon, uh, Bus Boys, Volume One. He, how tall are you, Sax? Six-five. JP is six-seven, and Robert is not only gigantic, six-eight?

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Six-seven and a half.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Six-seven and a half. Wow, what a gentleman.

• 3:50Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, you know what? You know what? I'm five-seven and a half. How about that?

• 3:54Speaker 03

  People get really crazy about it. Like, the way that, that line at five-seven, like, guys really.

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you don't want to be.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Really get edgy.

• 4:01Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want to be. It's real, and some people, some might argue it's five-eight, and they're wrong. Five, thank you. It depends on the humidity. Yeah, it depends. It depends on how hot, how hot my hair is.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  I honestly, if it makes you feel any better, you're all the same to me.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, dude. I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, we're all.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  You could be six-one, to be honest with you.

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, and I love that. We're all basically first graders to Robert. Yeah, to Robert, yeah. Six, seven and a half, a hulking gentleman. Top, top ten, a former, you got top eight, right?

• 4:32Speaker 03

  I got top ten twice.

• 4:33Stavros Halkias?

  Top ten twice, world, world's strongest man.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Over the span of, of, of six or seven years too. So like, I was in the top ten for a while.

• 4:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you had staying power.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  I, I, it was one thing that I really fought for too. Cause like at the beginning of my career, I jumped off and did really, really good. And I was terrified of being a flash in the pan.

• 4:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Destroyed myself to make sure that didn't happen.

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, you fucked your, what's fucked up right now?

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Oh, everything. I think the most, the most messed up stuff is probably like my, my back and my, my ankle. My back, I have to be really careful about my back is, uh, it's, it's what made me stop. It was like, I was, not to start this off on a super sour note, but, uh, my daughter.

• 5:16Stavros Halkias?

  Suicidal. He wanted to end it all.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  No, um, my daughter was in the crib. She's, she's, uh, sixteen months now. And so she was in a crib and I went in there to get her out and my back locked up. And I fell on the floor and I was on the floor for like two hours.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  And I couldn't get up.

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  And she was like, I'll never respect you.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  All those muscles and you can't protect me.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what you worry about. But, um, yeah, so I made sure I, I immediately, I was like, I'm, I'm never gonna do anything to put my back at risk. So I do all safety stuff now.

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  That happened to me once because I pulled a doorknob too hard.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  That literally, I threw my back up and like, ah, and then I had to just lay down for one day straight.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  It's horrible when your back goes out. It's like, there's nothing you can do to get around it.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  It's not what you want.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  We need exoskeletons. Oh my gosh. We need that shit, dude. We gotta evolve into some armor.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, give us like the robot additives now, you know, like Elon, get on it.

• 6:21Stavros Halkias?

  Some body modifications. I want rocket thrusters. You want thrusters? That would be fucking sick. Trying to make sure I can dunk when I'm forty. I'm gonna need to be rocket aided. I just want a back brace. I want, I want something to, I want the back brace not only to help my back, but also to, when I fuck, just to thrust for me.

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  That way I can, and then obviously, I think it goes without saying, you know, a splint, some kind of mechanical splint around my cock to keep it hard, but it's still my cock. I don't want a mechanical cock. I want my cock to feel the pleasure, but I need around it.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  With like an add-on that pinches your leg so you last longer?

• 7:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Like you feel like you're gonna bust in it and you just.

• 7:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you can have metal around the shaft, but the head is my head. So even if it's soft, the metal pushes my soft dick.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  So it's like, it's like a marker.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  Into a woman's pussy, in and out.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  It sounds dangerous, just, just first thoughts.

• 7:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we'll figure it out. We'll get nanobots, you know.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Somebody's gotta be on this, dude. I guarantee somebody's on this.

• 7:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's crazy. We haven't figured that part out yet, but yeah, dude, uh, not only the World Strongman, but very funny on the Righteous Gemstones. That's, we became friends. Uh, I was promoting my special while you were on. I think we both kind of discovered each other's work at the, kind of the same time.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:42Stavros Halkias?

  Even though me and my brothers were, we were like, when we were growing up, we loved watching World Strong. So I'm sure we, cause but, but you know, you're, you're like, we were, we were younger. We weren't like keyed into it. It's just like a fun thing to watch.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:53Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, I'm sure we watched you fucking pick up gigantic stones and throw them over your head. You know what I mean? But like, cause we, that was always a fun, a fun thing to watch and like pretend like, oh yeah, one day we could do that, you know?

• 8:06Speaker 03

  It's like, that's its most like marketable feature is when people are like flipping channels or whatever, you don't flip it.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's incredible.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  You see a guy pulling a bus.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  You stop for a second.

• 8:15Stavros Halkias?

  You see a 400 pound guy with abs pulling a bus and you're like, what the fuck is going on? Like, it sounds like, like watching you guys compete feels like you're reading something from mythology. Where it's like, you know, the king brought the ja, you know, the unstoppable giant to smash all the Canaanites or whatever the fuck.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  That's really where it started from. Two strong men, they say it originated in Scotland. Um, Scotland was not allowed to have weapons or really train and stuff like that, cause England sucks.

• 8:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  And, um, so the.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck the Brits.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, all of them.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  That's a common through line in basically all of world history.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  It's like the English were being dicks.

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, no, you can't have a gun. We're gonna go have sex with each other and polish our muskets. And then you guys, and then the Scottish had to get strong as hell.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  We're gonna get out some big fucking poles.

• 9:08Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna kill you with these rocks.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  That's what it was. It was, it was rocks and stones. And then, and then one part of the, uh, the competition would be, like you had to be able to run to a certain place with rocks and then run back. That's where it all came from.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just pure ass brute strength. It's so cool.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Who's gonna protect the king without any weapons?

• 9:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sick dude. Yeah, that's it. And it's such an interesting thing to get like, cause it, you're right. It's the most channel flipping. You're never gonna switch, but it's like, it's crazy to think that that was just so your life. Like to most people, it's like a cool thing. You stumble on and you watch like four times a year.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  Standup comedy.

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's basically, yeah, most people don't give a fuck about stand. Most people go to like four standup shows in their whole life and the, and three of them are like, you know, bachelor party, bachelorette party or something. But like, that's crazy. Like what even is it like to be, how do you like, what are the prelims? For getting into, you know, what's the open mic version of, of doing world's strongest man? Is it just, you go to a fucking, uh, parking lot and start lifting Corollas?

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's all over, all over America, England, Canada. It's huge. Um, they've got different styles depending on where you're at in the globe. Like the Middle East and stuff does a lot of like rock lifting, you know? But, um, uh, the amateur level, that's what it is. You pay, you sign up, you, you go and, and you'll see these guys. I mean, I saw a guy.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  I've seen guys really hurt themselves, really badly, really horrifically. And they were just like, they had a nine to five. Like they were, they were here for fun and paying to compete. And like for the rest of their lives, they walk weird or whatever.

• 10:54Speaker 04

  Their shoulders and their hips are now fused together. They no longer have a torso.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  I know. I can't tell you how many guys I know who have their low back fused.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  You know, it's very common.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  So I know I don't need a spot for this Volkswagen. I'm good. I got this.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  My back doesn't bend. Yeah. There's a lot of that, but the, the guys who do it to be in shape and just have fun, it is really cool. Like as the camaraderie in Strongman is, you know, it's unmatched. It's not like you're gonna go to a CrossFit gym. I mean, and if you're really in shape, really jacked, you can go to a CrossFit gym and fit in great. And, and I'm being general. I'm sure there's somebody out there that's like, obviously that's not the case for them.

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  But I mean, in general, when you do an amateur Strongman show, there's just all these really big people that kinda lift seriously, but it's mostly for fun and they're just cheering each other on, having a blast.

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It's just so funny to do that, like, for no money and to do it and like,

• 11:53Speaker 03

  To pay.

• 11:54Stavros Halkias?

  To pay to potentially have no, you know, lose a couple vertebrae or whatever the fuck. It's nuts, dude.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  It's crazy. And there's a ton of people that do it, too.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

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• 12:42Stavros Halkias?

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• 13:24Stavros Halkias?

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• 14:09Stavros Halkias?

  And is it like, did you get recruited? Just did somebody just literally see you walking? And was like, oh yeah, you gotta, you gotta lift some fucking wild shit.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  I was a bouncer for a long time.

• 14:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah. Where were you bouncing?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  I bounced in a few different places, but this, this place, um, it was called The Catalyst. It's in Santa Cruz and it's a small concert venue and a bar. So like I, I did security for like Willie Nelson and BB King and, um,

• 14:36Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Willie.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  A bunch of really cool people.

• 14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, friend of the podcast, Willie Nelson. Shout out to him.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  I feel so bad. When I, when I worked with Willie, I was playing football at the time and he offered to smoke weed with me and I turned him down.

• 14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  My mom got mad at me.

• 14:54Stavros Halkias?

  You're throwing your life away.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  Honestly, from the, cause he was the sweetest dude. He's like, he's a little older guy. He came out, was really nice, met everybody and saw what he had, what he had to do, where he was gonna be. And I'm always, I'm the biggest guy, so I'm the guy who's with the talent. And it's like, he was going back on the bus and he's like, you wanna have a smoke? And I was like, oh, I was getting tested at the time.

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  It's one of my biggest regrets.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  You should be able to tell the guy testing, he was like, hey man, here's a picture of me smoking weed with Willie Nelson. Can I get a mulligan on this one?

• 15:25Speaker 03

  I wish I would have.

• 15:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Were you, so that was in Santa Cruz where you're playing, what was the school you were playing for?

• 15:31Speaker 03

  I, I was done, I was, I was trying to uh play professional, so I was, I was working with the San Jose Sabercats at the time. And uh, yeah.

• 15:39Stavros Halkias?

  What league, what league is that?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  That's Arena, Arena One.

• 15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh hell yeah dude, Arena is another, dude, you're the, you're like a, like fun shit to catch on ESPN three All-Star. You know what I mean? Like Arena Football and Strongman.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  You just need to play in the World Series of Poker, man. Just put the fucking triple crack.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  Oh man, well yeah, the thing about Arena too.

• 15:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, fuck, for the Sabercats, you should have smoked weed, man.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Well, this is, this is the worst part. The Arena, by the, two years before I got to Arena, um, the guys were making an average of like three hundred K a year.

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Like that was the average. And then, but when I got there, the ultimate reason I didn't stay or do anything with them was because guys were like working at McDonald's when they weren't at practice.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  And so it was, it was just too much. My body was already like, my, my ankles really started to get messed up, uh, from football. Like, it was just, I just kept re-injuring the same thing.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Your whole life, you must have just been just like gigantic and beating, beating yourself up doing, you were playing football, I guess, your whole life?

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Well, so, so at first, I was a big drama kid. I was, I really loved, I wrote up plays and I, I had like a.

• 16:48Stavros Halkias?

  I love that dude.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  I had a little video camera that you'd put the VHS in and record and I made, I made probably ten spoofs trying to copy Scary Movie. Like I did, I did, I loved that stuff. I had ten siblings, so like I had all, all the characters and everything. Like I made my sister chase me, we lived behind an apple orchard. And I made her chase me through the apple orchard.

• 17:08Stavros Halkias?

  You literally just sound like a character in a fairy tale. The giant that lived, the baby giant that tried to get his ten siblings to make plays with their, behind the apple orchard?

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Put all ten siblings in a big basket and carry them to school every day.

• 17:26Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking nuts.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  That's so sick.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  I was obsessed with that stuff at first and I was really into drama and then going into high school, I'd signed up and I'd been in several plays, like I got the lead in a few, which is crazy.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Of Mice and Men?

• 17:42Speaker 03

  No, I didn't Pet the Rabbits. I didn't Pet the Rabbits. I got to do Jack and the Beanstalk.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  And then I was one of the Three Kings. I wrote, I wrote a rap for the Three Kings and then I made them let me do it in the play. I was like, I'm not doing it if I don't get to do my rap.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  That rocks.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  Negotiating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  But then, uh, high school came along and I was, I was like getting involved in everything and then one of the teachers just made fun of me about trying out for, for the lead in a play. And then it was like, like I shattered confidence from him.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  Oh my god. It's crazy how much one comment from like an asshole teacher.

• 18:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Just a guy who was just too stupid to get a real job. Like, he probably wasn't a good teacher. Like, it's always the shittiest, it's like, and looking back, it's probably some 25 year old dickhead.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Who was just a piece of shit and who was insecure and honestly, on some level, jealous because you were fucking huge and like, he wanted to play football and he got cut and then it's like.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Well, that's when I started football. I wasn't gonna play. I was, I was all drama and then when that happened, I went out and did football and then like literally just I blew up and started like, man, really good, really fast.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's all. I mean, that's so funny, dude. I had, I had the same experience but like with obviously different results. Like, I was a total drama kid and like, me and Elvis were in plays in elementary school together. The, what was the clown one?

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Ambiguously Gay Deal.

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. We did, we put that on, we put on a production of the Ambiguously Gay Deal in fourth grade.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  But you wrote it into a beautiful feature-length drama that explores their relationship.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  That was a good cartoon, though.

• 19:14Stavros Halkias?

  It was very funny. That was fucking funny shit. Yeah, it was clowns, right?

• 19:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was clowns.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Did we do anything else or were you gone by then?

• 19:21Speaker 05

  I think there was like at least one or two other plays. I just don't remember why.

• 19:25Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember. Clowns was very memorable though, for sure. Uh, and, and then in middle school, I think I like auditioned and, or like they were doing Charlie Brown and I think like, I, I think, you know, it was probably a shoe-in. I mean, who's supposed to be playing Charlie Brown? But I had that moment. I wasn't, nobody had to make me feel self-conscious. I should have. I had, I had the confidence you should have had where I was like. What am I doing for job? I'm a fucking athlete. Like, I was just this size. Like, I've been five seven since I was in sixth grade. And I've been, and you know, maybe I was 200 pounds, but I was like,

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Still big.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, well, I'm gonna play fucking football and basketball. I'm going pro. And I quit drama in sixth grade because I was like, yeah, dude, I'm a fucking jock. I'm a cool jock now. But I remember, like, it is, it is being a little ass kid and being like, I wanna be on stage. You know what I mean? It's so, it's so fun. I wanna go back though, because there's, for the, because I wanna get a little more about like you as a little kid, because that's fascinating. Because you must have been also just big as hell from the jump, right?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Uh, not, not till, like, I had a crazy growth spurt between freshman and sophomore. I was, so like, um, like, uh, starting like maybe fourth, fifth grade, I got really chubby.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  But I was short. And then, um, I worked at a Boy Scout camp in Catalina Island.

• 20:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice. Catalina, very, Catalina wine mixer.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I was there for six, seven weeks or something like that. And while I was gone working at camp, I grew seven inches.

• 20:56Stavros Halkias?

  In a fucking six week span?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  I came home, my mom like started bawling. She was like, my boy! She was freaking out. Like, my, my brother Sean, who I, given, I hadn't seen him for like a couple of years. He walked up to me and introduced himself.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  My older brother.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  So.

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  The camp got shut down. They were, they were putting HGA in the burners. Dude, that's fucking nuts.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  So, yeah, so like I, I had like just crazy deep red stretch marks all of a sudden and all this stuff.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Did that hurt? Did you?

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I remember.

• 21:31Stavros Halkias?

  Werewolf transformation?

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Exactly like that.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like, ah!

• 21:34Speaker 03

  I remember, so I don't remember almost anything other than a sunburn I got. A real bad sunburn that I, that I'll remember. And then I remember laying in the tents at night and just rubbing my legs. And I remember the guy, the guy next to us, uh, next to me had a playboy. That was like under his pillow and I saw it. So like I snagged that and at like two in the morning, I'm like rubbing my legs.

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus dude, that's nuts.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  You're growing like an inch a week.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  It was super painful.

• 22:05Stavros Halkias?

  But before that, you were just like a chubby kid who was like very into drama.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  And how do we get ten siblings? Like religious?

• 22:13Speaker 03

  No, my mom, my mom had a rough childhood and so like, uh, when she started having kids, she just like wanted all of them. And then when that, so like my mom was told she couldn't have any more kids and then she got pregnant with me.

• 22:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  Had me and then adopted three more.

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  And so like my mom was just like, always just trying to take in everybody and take care of me, which is where all my confidence came from. Like I'd be the chubby kid, like I'm Augustus Gloop. She's like pinch my cheeks and tell me I could do anything. And so like, that's really where I came from. It was like, I just believed her. I'd do whatever, you know?

• 22:49Stavros Halkias?

  And what you might, I mean, did everybody had to have bunk beds? There's no way everybody got here. You must have slept in bunk beds.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Good question. So, so, uh, when, when I was getting into high school and we'd moved back to Watsonville, um, we lived in a three bedroom house. And we only had electricity there for the first thirty days. So this is, this is the craziest thing. Looking back as, as, as an adult, like my dad made good money. He worked for a great company and like, uh, Quinn Caterpillar, like Caterpillar, the tractors and stuff. My dad was like a really smart engineer, worked on all that kind of stuff. And like then started working on, um, um, what's it called? When you lose power and the power.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Generators.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Generators and stuff for like hospitals or prisons and all that kind of stuff. So he was, he was a smart guy, really needed, made good money and we were broke. Like had none.

• 23:41Stavros Halkias?

  Did he have a second family with eight kids?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  What happened is, is he had a, he had a wife that spent everything faster than he could make.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  And so like, I remember like. We had like no power for three years until like, well, on the weekends, my dad would drive home. You ever seen those?

• 23:59Stavros Halkias?

  Did they have you in a big like wheel running to fucking power the house?

• 24:09Stavros Halkias?

  Running the dishwasher, Eve, Eve.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  If you on the road, you'll see like a caterpillar truck drive by. It's a big white truck and you'll see it's got like a little crane on it. All of those trucks have little generators. So on the weekends, we would plug that into the house. And we would have like maybe the TV or whatever. Like sometimes if we didn't run anything, the hot water heater would work, you know? Like it was like that forever. But like, it sounds so crazy now.

• 24:38Stavros Halkias?

  But you don't know any better.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  In the moment, man, we were making those movies and I was having fun and we were doing WrestleMania on the trampoline and like, like all that shit. Like playing baseball with every apple in the orchard.

• 24:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  I don't think I've ever had as much fun as I did when we were dirt poor.

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  For sure. Yeah. Especially when you're a kid, you really have no frame of reference. You know, and it's like, I don't know, what was the school like? Did they, did they let you know you were poor at school?

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Well, in high school, yes. Cause in high school, I'm from Watsonville. And if you know Santa Cruz, Watsonville is like east side, like, well, not, not New York east side. It's like LA east side. It's a, it's the lower end of the, the probably financial pool of the county. And I went to school in Aptos. Like I got in trouble in Watsonville and I had to go to Aptos High. And Aptos is the wealthiest area in Santa Cruz. And so like, I remember all these kids, I remember this girl.

• 25:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's got, it's, it's families whose dad, like, it's the guy who invented that shitty like Sherpa hoodie. It's like the drug rug. That's, that's the number one. Drug rug princess. Yeah. In, in Santa Cruz, that's the number one money makers, like rasta hats and those fucking. And black light posters. Yeah. Black light hemp posters. Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  It's a lot of, like, if you're kind of like an old school liberal and you made a ton of money and you retired, that's one of the spots to go.

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  And um.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's a pretty hippie dippy town from what I know.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Super, yeah. I loved it. Like, it was so, I, I, first place I left.

• 26:12Stavros Halkias?

  Banana slugs?

• 26:13Speaker 03

  The, the, yeah, banana slug, yeah, the UCSC slug, yeah.

• 26:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's an awesome mascot.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  And um, like, it was, I first left, I went to Arkansas for school and it was like traveling back in time. Like, it was crazy to me that, like, like, there was a club that we used to go to called Curtis. And the guys on the team said that was the black club. And so like, literally, like, it was almost like it was like going into the 50s. And I was like, coming from California, I was like, not used to that.

• 26:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, this is ridiculous. But I mean, at least you can run the lights in the black club.

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  At least you guys have a refrigerator that works.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Of the black club. It's always the best when you're a big white dude and you're the only white dude there. Oh, it's awesome.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But um. So you had to play, you went to play football in Arkansas?

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I went to, I, I ended up, so, uh, before my senior year, this is a lot.

• 27:03Stavros Halkias?

  No, I love, I mean, if you want to.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't mind, I don't mind. Um, before senior year, my dad was schizophrenic and, uh, uh, he had a lot of issues. A lot, a lot of different stuff. And, um, him and my mom split.

• 27:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he didn't have too many responsibilities.

• 27:21Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking guy had 10 kids. Even if he was of sound mind, he would go fucking crazy. You're plugging in a fucking extension cord to make tea on the weekends. He had a lot going on.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  You know what's funny is you were smart enough to realize that it was off an extension cord.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  So, uh, he had, he had a, like, a break.

• 27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah, damn.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Towards, towards senior year and, uh, it, it all went haywire. So like, I ended up, um, being homeless for about three years. And then bounced around and tried to figure stuff out.

• 27:56Stavros Halkias?

  Since 18 to 21, kind of?

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yep, and, uh.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  Dennis Rodman, same thing, Dennis Rodman. Yeah, he was, he was, he was like homeless in that. He like, and then he played, started playing Juco. And then he, like, yeah, he went from homeless to junior college. Had, I think he also had a growth spurt. I don't, I want to say.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, he did. He was like 6'1" when he entered college or something.

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Dennis Rodman's the man, too.

• 28:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  So yeah, um, bounce around and I just made a bunch of mistakes and then like I, I actually, I was done with football. I had quit. I laughed. I

• 28:29Stavros Halkias?

  Choked the coach maybe or one, yeah, something like that.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Anyways.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  Flip the team.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  You, you're the call me off guard there.

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Just a educated hunch.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  So, uh, I, I got a job. Um, I, I moved back to Santa Cruz and considered myself a coke dealer for like

• 28:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  And it was silly and stupid and that stuff like.

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I mean, I gotta be honest, for where you were at the time, being huge, being in Santa Cruz. Like if, if, if there's place to deal, like for, for your circumstances, that's not a horrible, like Looking, looking at the math and being like.

• 29:12Speaker 04

  And it helps to be huge because it's like, how much do I owe you for this eight ball? It's like $500.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  And it's a hippie town. It's like, it'd be different if you were like a coke dealer in like a major city.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah. Totally, totally different vibe.

• 29:24Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, I kinda, I mean, I'm glad you didn't, you know, keep doing it, but it wasn't the worst idea. Let's give you some credit.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Came out of it.

• 29:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm sure some bad stuff happened.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  I remember doing some stupid stuff, but uh.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  It's a natural byproduct of all that stuff that happens. It's bound to happen, I think.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, uh, I left, I, I, I realized I needed to get out of Santa Cruz. So I, my, I moved. My, my dad had just had another child with someone else and him and my mom were back together and raising her now.

• 29:53Stavros Halkias?

  Issue.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  I just go out, clear my head, have another kid.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  A lot, a lot. Like I said, I'm leaving a lot out too.

• 30:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  And so I'm, I'm, I moved back in with them and just weaned myself like completely. I just No rehab, no nothing. I just cut everything. I was on a lot of pills at the time too.

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Football really got me into pills.

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  And I stacked backer board, um, outside of Reno for about a year, which like in, in.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  Now we went from fairy tale to Johnny Cash song. I was stacking backboards in Reno for a year.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 30:31Stavros Halkias?

  Fresh off pain pills stacking backboards in Reno dude. Truly a mythological life that you've led. That's crazy.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  I did that and um, I was uh, I was like about just, just about a year deep and I got a phone call from a buddy of mine. Who uh, was going to school at Western Oregon University. And he was like, man, the coach here says you've got eligibility.

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, nice.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  And I was like, for real? And he's like, yeah, he's gonna pay for your school. Get out here. So I took my twin mattress from my house.

• 30:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  I tied it to my roof. I broke it on the way up.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  I drove from Reno all the way up to five, all the way into Salem, Oregon and got off there and headed east, uh, west. And stayed, I finished school at Monmouth at Western Oregon. And I was just really appreciative the, they gave me an opportunity. And that's, that's like where football ended for me.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  And so this was a super long way to get back into.

• 31:24Stavros Halkias?

  But it was huge. It was huge to like, kind of get you just a little stability, a little like.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  I had, I had a place to live. I had food.

• 31:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Like to me, that was everything. And then I could kind of, you know, you're not living off of crazy momentum.

• 31:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  You know, when, when shit starts rolling and you don't take a moment to step back, like you can really end up in some spots.

• 31:45Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, for sure. No, it's crazy. I mean, I, I definitely, I mean. That, and your life, feeling like your life is being dictated by forces outside of you is a really scary thing. So that, that sounds like, you know, it was even if, even though you like. It made you get pill, you know, addicted to pills or whatever. Well, in the beginning, it's like football, you know, sounded like a nice little salvation and just some regularity. And then from there you were kind of, is that where the strong man stuff started?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  So just the pills thing, really funny. When I first started coming off pills, I was in my college dorm and.

• 32:20Stavros Halkias?

  This is in Arkansas? Where's this?

• 32:22Speaker 03

  I don't want to say.

• 32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah, we don't have to say.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  We were in a college dorm.

• 32:25Stavros Halkias?

  In a college dorm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. College dorm somewhere in the continental United States.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Too specific.

• 32:32Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright, could have been Hawaii or Alaska.

• 32:37Stavros Halkias?

  We'll give it all 50 states and now we'll throw in Puerto Rico. It was one of the hemispheres.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  So I was.

• 32:45Stavros Halkias?

  In the dorm.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. In a college dorm and I'm coming off and uh, I remember I was laying in my, in my little bed, looking at the roof and it was like moving and being weird and I really having DTs like hard. And the running back was my roommate and he goes, man, you jerking off over there? And then he opens the door to the dorm and he goes, he's in here jerking off! And I'm like.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Getting off, having like fucking oxy withdrawals?

• 33:22Speaker 03

  He's in here jerking off!

• 33:25Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I, getting off like pills with a roommate is a tough scene dude. In a little dorm in those plastic mattresses, like those little. Making ramen noodles on a hot plate, trying to come off.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Well, in Alaska, they got brick.

• 33:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah, of course, where you were. Yeah. There's a moose outside the window.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  For, to answer the simple question you asked about an hour ago.

• 33:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, this is perfect.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  I was bouncing at a club, uh, the Catalyst, I was doing security for a lot of people, Cube, Snoop, like, it was sick.

• 33:57Stavros Halkias?

  And you're, and you're, you're like mid twenties here?

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, low, low twenties. I'm like, not even twenty, twenty-four or something like that.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  And um, uh, a buddy of mine was obsessed with strongman and he'd been trying to do it for like eight years. And he was always the guy that was like my backup or whatever on a football team.

• 34:16Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, damn, that's tough.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Especially because he wanted to be a pro strongman. And I went pro in less than a year.

• 34:23Stavros Halkias?

  And then you married the woman he was in love with.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  His dad calls you and tells you how much he respects you.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Happy Father's Day to me. No, no, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's got a lot of really cool qualities. I don't want him to feel bad if he sees this. Like, he's the man. And uh, he helped me a lot. Like, he taught me everything. And when I first got started. The first day I did a log press, which is like, if you know what a log press is, like, we used to use trees. But now we use like a cylinder metal.

• 34:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I've seen those things.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  And so we, I had the record in that for a while. And so I did that on the first day and I pressed it. And I beat the amateur record by five pounds. And I put it down. Now I looked at my buddy and I was like, was that any good? Get the fuck out of here.

• 35:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's brutal for that guy, but he's doing well.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  He's doing great. Yeah, he's got, he's, they got a wife and he's doing great, man. He's, he's living the normal life like I should have.

• 35:16Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Yeah. That's the other thing is like, success in these fields is still not good. You don't live a good life. Like, it's so much better just being upper middle class.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  And have a consistent paycheck, insurance.

• 35:29Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Couple of, you know.

• 35:30Speaker 04

  How much is that log weigh?

• 35:32Speaker 03

  It depends. It depends. So my record, I broke the, the record in Australia with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was like right there watching me. I broke the record.

• 35:41Stavros Halkias?

  Must feel so cool.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  It was badass. Uh, it was in kilos and I ca, I think it was like four seventy seven in pounds, something like that.

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  It's like two, two hundred and seventeen kilos or something like that. I, it might be off. Don't get mad at me, internet. It might be off by a few pounds. So.

• 35:57Speaker 05

  Elders do a little fucking producing, man. Check out fucking.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Really quick too, since you brought him up.

• 36:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Everybody that comes on this show just goes on and on about how grotesque and crazy Eldis looks.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  I'm an avid listener. I, I, I listen while I train, while I'm doing stuff, so I don't watch. I listen. I've heard Eldis's voice a million times.

• 36:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  I was expecting you to be so much more hideous. You just look like a normal dude, man. Like, it makes me wonder.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Someone's messaging.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  We've really painted a narrative here.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  If you look crazy, then what do I look like? I'm a much more exaggerated version of you.

• 36:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, you guys are members of the same tribe.

• 36:38Stavros Halkias?

  But that's the thing. You're incre, you're one of the literal world's strongest men and he's just a guy. And you guys look similar. That's the issue.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  I think you look good, brother. Way better than I was expecting, for sure.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  I think you look good. Way too many people tell me that. They're like, they're like, oh, Eldis, that doesn't be like fat like Stab.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright. Let's fucking relax.

• 37:00Speaker 05

  Just like Stab. That's how Stab talks about it.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  That would be the negative thing to happen to you.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Oh man, wait till they're on the bus for a long time.

• 37:10Stavros Halkias?

  You wi- you know what, Elders, that's fine. I carry this. I'm like, I'm basically like, God. I'm like Jesus in that. I'm basically like Jesus in that, you know, I'm dying for every fat guy's sins, you know? Throw them all on me. I'll be fat as shit. I'll be short. I'll be bald. I will, I will take these slings and arrows for the rest of you. That's how I look at it.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Don't judge them.

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. They know not what they do. Yeah, yeah, for they know not what they do. They do, they know not how fat they are or something. No, not at all. I just said by accident, I am like God. I meant Jesus.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  Somebody's gonna clip that right there. Stop it. You're gonna be on one of those clips. You know, they make all those videos now about all the comedians.

• 37:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  It's like a donkey market now.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's very funny to be that obsessed with like, truly, we're some of the dumbest people on earth.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:01Stavros Halkias?

  And there's people who's, there's like a whole clips ecosystem like. There's like an Entertainment Tonight about dumb comedians on podcasts. Which is pretty funny. By the way, I just wanted to say for the record, I'm not like God. I said, I'm like fat Jesus. Let me make that clear.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Y'all heard that. Y'all heard.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Fat Jesus, not fat God.

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  I have some humility.

• 38:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, that's.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a thumbnail of you tomorrow with lava all around it.

• 38:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'm the fat Antichrist. That's true. That's a possibility.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  That's a whole new batch of hate for you.

• 38:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing, you know, there's, that's, there's something very powerful in Lucifer. Triple XL Lucifer.

• 38:46Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, man, that's fu- dude, it's, it's, but yeah, it is fascinating because I also just feel like just bouncing. There must have been guys who just like, do you get that your whole life where people just like, are so insecure that they like try you to just be like, fuck this guy. Who the fuck does he think he is? Just you existing and they, they take it as a personal like slight that you're big.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure. Especially, so I got picked on a lot until I got good at football. Like until like junior year of high school, I, I was like, like, man, I had some really rough bullies and actually like the guy who fucked with me the most hung himself a couple of years ago.

• 39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice dude.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Crazy, crazy, but like he fucking tortured me.

• 39:30Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  He was a scary motherfucker and like he would torture me. And unfortunately, I became a junior and then I started acting like an asshole.

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  And then like.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's what happens. So you, if you get, people who get abused, it's like a, it's like a cycle.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, but luckily I caught that by like senior year, like I started getting attention from girls and I started realizing like, like, cause I had all of my sisters and all that stuff. I started realizing like me being silly and funny and nice is like, that's, that's my, my best attribute.

• 40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Being a jerk, like maybe the mean girls at school will laugh.

• 40:05Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  But like you're not gonna get no play. Like it's not, it's not like you're not gonna do anything.

• 40:10Stavros Halkias?

  And even if you do, that head's not gonna be good.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:12Stavros Halkias?

  From the, from popular girls in high school that unless they were really popular, I guess. I guess I'm trying to think about the girls I went to high school with. You know, and I take that back. There were some girls that I'm, you know, back in the day. I, well, I don't know. Cause then all you know is what your friend, your friends who got to get pussy said to you as, as non pussy getters in high school, all I, all I have is these unreliable narrators. The guys who got to fuck.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Everyone lied to, and there was always like that one girl who was known as a whore just cause she kissed a guy.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She like hooked up with one guy. It's like fucking slut.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Life's ruined.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, some girl gave a guy head in middle school.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  You just only hear stories. You think you're surrounded by the greatest sexual dynamos who ever walked the earth. You only hear their side of the story.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  I remember one kid said he fucked seven girls in high school and I, I remember like, oh. It's like the jaws snap zoom where I'm like, oh. I haven't even fucking grazed the titty.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  I'm down by seven?

• 41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm down seven zero. I fumbled the kickoff and he returned it for a touchdown.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Not the way to start.

• 41:17Stavros Halkias?

  The opening kickoff. It's, there's 11:59 left in the first quarter and I'm down seven.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  He fucked one girl seven times. You just counted it all toward his stats.

• 41:27Stavros Halkias?

  You know, whatever. I wonder what he's up to. He's a good guy.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  He's not the most believable.

• 41:30Stavros Halkias?

  I think he joined the armed services, the armed forces.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Respect.

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you for your service. He's brought, which means.

• 41:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Got more fans than me.

• 41:39Stavros Halkias?

  Good job, Elvis. Good job, man. Yeah, were there any wild, like, bouncing?

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Bouncing, oh yeah, for sure. So, um, guys at first, when I started bouncing, would try and check me. I think there's a look, like a guy's got a look. If he hasn't bounced for a while, maybe he's just too busy with his eyes or whatever. I don't know. But like, at first-

• 42:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's like a projecting thing. It's just like a vibes thing. Not even size. It's just like-

• 42:06Speaker 03

  I think, because it stopped. Like, like, I mean, it probably happened for like a month or two, but I was at like, that-

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's still insane, because you were like this size. Like, what size are we talking about?

• 42:17Speaker 03

  Um, I was probably bigger than I am now. Yeah, a little bit bigger. Um-

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts that someone's like, "Yeah, that guy doesn't look confident bouncing. I'm gonna try and swing at him."

• 42:28Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, like, I've had guys, I had an off-duty cop have it happen.

• 42:33Stavros Halkias?

  That makes a lot of sense.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  This one time, we were, uh, we would have shows, so like, in the back, we had, we had a rap group. I can't remember. It was like, um, a Mexican rap group. I can't remember.

• 42:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  And then in the front, we had a fifteen and up dance party.

• 42:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, God.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  And one of the guys from the rap show got into the dance party.

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  You can't be putting up-and-coming rappers near fifteen and up club, club nights.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  And so it ended up being the most epic brawl I've ever been a part of.

• 43:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Spilled out to the streets.

• 43:07Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  Uh, a bunch of guys from Seaside drove out for the brawl. So like, there was-

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  A fight going on so long that word gets out and people commute to it.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  From Santa Cruz to Seaside. That's a drive.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Send word to the cavalry. Look to the east at dawn.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  So, if you know downtown Santa Cruz-

• 43:29Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody's trying to stop us from fucking underage children. Get the baseball bats in a van full of our strongest friends.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  So that downtown road, it's Main Street and then there's Pacific. And literally, the whole block, the entire street was packed full of people brawling. And one of our big rules was like, don't go out. Like, you're secure, you're safe here. You're, you're, you step past this, this door-

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  We can't do anything for you.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  No insurance, no nothing. And cops, cops are on you when you're a bouncer. Like, we had to wear gloves after a while because they would check our knuckles.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  So I'm standing there in the doorway and I'm sitting there thinking like this.

• 44:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cops are like, who do you think you are? We're the only ones who get to beat the fuck out of whoever we want. That's our job. They were just jealous anyway, sorry.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  Pretty much, yeah.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  So I'm standing in the doorway and I'm watching this and I'm like, wow, this is gonna be the craziest thing I've ever seen.

• 44:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  And the guy who got me in the strong man, in the middle of it, I see him just come up like a movie out of people and he goes, wah!

• 44:35Speaker 03

  And he's built like me, he's a big fucking dude and I was like, oh, fuck.

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, gotta get in there.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  And we're in there and like, I'm literally like, like, one after the other, after the other, after like, like, people behind you, people all around you.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's insane. A block long brawl is insane.

• 44:54Speaker 04

  All the members, all the members of I I I C P had you surrounded.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, that one was the wildest, like, but like, um, like Hank Williams Jr., we had a bunch of, of bike, I'm not gonna say which biking group.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  All his rowdy friends, let's say.

• 45:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  And we had a very physical altercation, a very, very physical altercation. And then the next night, I'm working the bar, there's no show and I'm working by myself. So, and the catalyst, when you go in, there's two doors and then like, if, if the venue's open, you go underneath and it used to be an old bowling alley and that's where the shows are. If there's no show, you go up the stairs and there's a bar. So I'm sitting at the top of those stairs, everything else is locked. And I'm sitting there by myself the night after a pretty rough brawl.

• 45:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  And, uh, I hear 200 motorcycles.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Oh, shit.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  Sitting there by my fucking seat.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  My ass like fell out of the seat and I was like, like, I knew, like, I get goosebumps talking about it right now.

• 45:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  I knew in my head, this was the end, like, in my head, I was like, don't you go out like a fucking pussy. Like, don't, like, this is the only thing you can control? Go out like a man, open your fucking eyes and go out like a man.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  I would have been like, how wide are those vents? Is there a ladder?

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  I would have tried to find a fat woman and put my clothes on her.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  There was like nobody in the bar. It was like, nobody there. It was literally me, a bartender and like one guy. So you hear 200 motorcycles pull up and I'm like, like freaking out. I'm sitting at the top of the stairs and they start filing in, just all these vests, all these sleeveless shirts, all these bald dudes. And then in the middle of them, I, this little old dude just weasels his way between them and kind of pushes through. And he stands at the bottom of the stairs and he looks up at me and he goes like this. I'm like, oh, fuck.

• 46:50Stavros Halkias?

  Wild, dude.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  I walked down the stairs like, literally like terrified.

• 46:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  And he was like, were you here last night? And I was like, yes, sir. He goes, were you a part of, of what happened? I don't remember the exact words. Were you a part of the situation that happened? I was like, yes, sir. And he goes, Billy, Tom, ah, ah, calls these guys out, stand up here. And they all come up with like their tail tucked between their legs and their heads down. He goes, you got something to say? They all apologized to me.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Every one of them apologized to me. He pulls out a business card and he goes, anytime you have a problem, call me.

• 47:20Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Bro, I'm telling you like, I couldn't, I floated back up the stairs. And I was like, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

• 47:28Stavros Halkias?

  And you're right. That was the right thing. Cause if you did show cowardice, they probably would have fucked you up.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  You're a stand up guy, literally. And it's always like the little old guy in the gang who's like the one you need to be the most afraid of. It's like he commands all these soldiers.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  I, I, I really like, in that moment, I still thought, I was like, I'm, I'm, they're gonna knife me at least.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Someone's gonna take something.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  There's gonna be a ceremonial ear cutting or something.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Like on gemstones.

• 47:55Stavros Halkias?

  So like, so this is interesting though, cause it's like, you know, you start doing strongman, but it's not like, it doesn't seem to me like the thing that immediately starts paying big bucks, does it? Like you still have to balance probably, or what are you doing at the time? Or, or can you train? Like how, what, how, whatever, even the economics of something like that?

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Most guys never make money in strong.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Most, and that's all they tell you when you start it. Everyone's like, you're never gonna make it.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  I knew I could use it as a platform. Like I didn't, I, I never thought that I was gonna be the strong, like ma- maybe up until like my rookie year at Worlds, I, I thought maybe I could win. But then after that, I realized I wasn't, I wasn't gonna be able to do what it took to win. But I could totally use this as a platform.

• 48:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  I could totally use this to do what I want to do. Cause just like, I mean. Um, eastbound and down, he, he said it so fucking right. Like, I wasn't trying to be the best at working out. I wanted to play real sports.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  Trying to be the best.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  Felt that way.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  So you were just like, fuck, man. I mean, I'm fucking, I'll live this shit, but like, God, yeah.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  That's the upside of like, if you don't, if, if like, say you try strong and you don't make it, at least you're still strong as fuck.

• 49:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is true.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  As long as you don't break.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  As long as you don't fuck yourself up. Like, if you try comedy and you flame out, then you're just not funny.

• 49:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're just a fucking loser. Yeah. You hear that? Don't even do it, folks.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  Not once.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  You're gonna fail.

• 49:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's, yeah, that is, that, that's interesting to have that perspective of just being like, ah, fuck it. I guess I'll just do it.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:31Stavros Halkias?

  And then you were fucking good as shit at it. Yeah. And then, cause like, is it, is there more to it than the, cause we were talking a little bit. It's like, I didn't realize, you know, that you were going to like foreign countries and there's way more than just like, cause in my head, it's just the ESPN shit. Like, did you travel a bunch of cool places? Was, was there money in that? Or was it again, just experiential? Or what was it exactly?

• 49:52Speaker 03

  There's a little bit of money. I, I like.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Was there some Sultan? Like, did you have to fight his strongest?

• 49:57Speaker 04

  So I. At his birthday party.

• 49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Uday Hussain's, he had a fucking Mongoloid that you had to wrestle.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Chain to the wall, baby Ruth.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, um, I, I, I think the most money I ever made from a competition was like two grand.

• 50:18Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  I think about two, maybe twenty eight hundred.

• 50:21Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck? To just fuck your body, to do insane things a human body objectively should not be doing.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  So I think eight, maybe eight, when I got, I got top ten at Worlds twice. I think that I maybe one of those times I made three.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Maybe. I might be off by like a grand.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Now, what are the world's strongest men groupies like? They must be women that really, you know, it must be, they must run the gamut.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 50:44Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like some sturdier gals, maybe, which is fine.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Those are there for sure.

• 50:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, which is fine.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  I think, I think that, I mean, that, that goes along with anybody when you're this size, right? Like, you don't even have to lift weights. It's, it's always like a big guy. Always will.

• 51:02Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  You know, with security and all that kind of stuff. But, um.

• 51:05Stavros Halkias?

  There's something kind of in, in, you know, in women's brains and in a much of it's like, you know, height really does, you make people's lives easier. Like certain guys could never be five seven, for example, I'm just saying, certain guys wouldn't, certain guys wouldn't be able to live, you know, to survive. But, so I get you. It was more like you were just always strong as hell. And there's a, there is, there's definitely a type of woman that's going to be attracted that whether you're a strong man or not.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  There's, there's definitely strong man groupies for sure that are specific to strong men.

• 51:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fascinating.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like, well, it's not dangerous enough being a woman.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  I remember getting a message from some girl a long time ago, like in Canada, and she was like, saying she was scared of me, but it's like a roller coaster. Like she still wants to ride it. So like that, that's the kind of girl, like a, like a goth.

• 52:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Like had problems growing up type of, a girl who goes to church and pays her taxes.

• 52:07Speaker 04

  She wanted the literal werewolf from Twilight and was like, I'm just gonna get as close as I can.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:13Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing wrong with a nice goth. That's, there's a little, it sounds like that Venn diagram is a little bit with comedians.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Whenever you do.

• 52:22Stavros Halkias?

  Goth is pretty good though. That's, that's a, that's a nice one to have in the, in the groupie canon. I just, I just was wondering, like, does it attract a certain type of person? But that makes sense.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  You can be surprised too. You never know. Like there's just like a normal girl who had a big dad, you know?

• 52:40Speaker 03

  I don't think it's ever been just a like, you're attractive thing though.

• 52:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. It's gotta be some psychology trick.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Right. Like in high school, it was, oh, this guy's gonna be a college football player.

• 52:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Oh, that's hilarious.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  And then after that, it was like, oh, he's gonna do this or that or whatever, you know? It was always something else.

• 52:58Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, come on, you're cute, man. Don't say that about yourself.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  I mean, we fucked.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  I didn't think he liked it that much.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  He was moaning a bunch.

• 53:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  I'll give you another, another bouncing one. So I was, I was at that same spot at the top of the stairs in the catalyst. And at the bottom, one of the things I left out is there's a pizza counter.

• 53:21Stavros Halkias?

  Nice. Sounds like a great spot.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  It was awesome. I loved working there. I wish I never got fired for selling tickets. You were selling comps directly to your own pocket? Oh, yeah. I used to make five G's a weekend all the time, man. You can't do that for long.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  But I was a stupid kid. Whoa, this golden goose keeps laying eggs. It's a not sold out show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Selling tickets.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was silly. And, and one of my best friends who I played Juko Ball with was the head of security too. So he caught me twice and was like, bro, come on, come on. And then they caught me one time really bad. Like 30 people walked in with fake tickets. Oh, man. But I was sitting up top. I was sitting up top of those stairs and, uh. That's fucking awesome, dude. I respect that. Trying to make money. Elders is fucking, people are Venmoing Elders for Patreon links.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yeah. Cash app me, I'll get you in through the loading dock at the shows.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  I was like, yeah, they're delivering pizzas. All right, you got the empty boxes? Like, you make them bring up pizza and you'd eat it, it wouldn't give us any? Some of that background stuff for shows is some of the craziest, funnest and most awkward stuff. Like, you're talking about getting people through the, through the back ramp and stuff. So I remember I was, it was slightly stupid. I was doing security for it. And they're fun, so much fun, really cool guys. And a couple of them were single at the time. I don't know if they're single now and I'm not going to say names. Right, right. But they were like, we need some girls. So I walk over and there's these four girls together. And then I, I approached them and I was like, hey, you guys, I need to meet the band. They're all super excited. And then the guy tapped me on the shoulder and he goes, we just want three.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Oh, no. So I had to look at these girls.

• 55:12Stavros Halkias?

  All right, who can carry this stone the farthest?

• 55:15Speaker 03

  You know what sucked? You know what really sucked is I, I did it. I was like, okay, you three. And the other girl was, why not me? And I was like, I'm sorry. She was just, oh, so I'm, so I'm the ugliest? And I was like, no, I, I think you're very beautiful. The duh, duh, duh. He literally comes back and he goes, why don't you come too?

• 55:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. He made you look like the fucking asshole.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 55:35Stavros Halkias?

  And then who knows, if you just invite them all, they're not all gonna fuck. Maybe you got the fuck.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  The whole night, she kept saying, oh, you didn't even want me back here.

• 55:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  She kept saying that. I felt so bad. I felt bad. There's a lot of shit like that.

• 55:46Stavros Halkias?

  Also, yeah, it's so weird. It's like, you know, what's one extra? That's not a problem.

• 55:50Speaker 03

  It's a girl too, like.

• 55:52Stavros Halkias?

  You're a band. You might get sucked off by two of them.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  That's the lesson.

• 55:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's the problem with stoners, man. That's the problem with stoners. If it was a cocaine band.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  He was.

• 56:01Stavros Halkias?

  He'd be like, baby, baby, eight hundred women, I'm gonna fuck them all.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  He felt bad. So he came over and he got the drumstick from the show and he goes, I filed it under D, so you know where to put it. It's a drumstick. And he gave her the drumstick. Cause he felt bad about it.

• 56:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  They were cool. They were freaking awesome. Like, so much fun and that whole venue. So like that, I was gonna say, I was at the top of those steps and I was looking down and we had a, um, a reggae band going. And in the front foyer by those, the pizza kitchen, there was these two just blasted drunk chicks that were like, 50s, 60 years old. And one of her titties keeps plopping out and she like drops her pizza on the floor a couple of times and picks it up. And it's like, it's just a mess. And there's these big, I, I, I think there were Samoan, they could have been Tongan. I lived in Samoa for two years.

• 56:51Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  So I feel like I'm allowed to make that mistake. I know it's very upsetting to not know if it's Tongan or Samoan.

• 56:57Stavros Halkias?

  Most of the people listening definitely know what the fuck you're talking about. That's for sure.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  We got a lot of big O's listeners.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Nice, nice. So I lived in America Samoa for a few years. I love it there. But, uh, I'm pretty sure they were Samoan. And there was like four giant older dudes in their 40s, all wearing Hawaiian shirts, just looking really nice, like, nice gentleman, nice hair and everything, but they were thick. And, um, they start making fun of the girl or whatever. So I go down there. And one of my buddies who was nude fired off hot and said something. I don't remember what he said. But the, the oldest, the silver haired guy just opens his fucking big meat hook, slaps him across the face. And he goes down and he's snoring on the way to the ground. He's like. Like on the way.

• 57:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  Four of them.

• 57:43Stavros Halkias?

  An open hand slap dude, that's a meaty paw to do that to somebody.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Put him down asleep before he hit the ground.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  A slap to the shadow realm.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  That guy didn't even look like he's like a fighter. He's just a dude.

• 57:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Like he was, he didn't go there coming to fight. You know, when a guy comes to a bar wanting to fight? He didn't want this. It just presented itself to him.

• 58:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  And so like that, we ended up.

• 58:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's even a, that's a so much more dangerous guy.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:08Stavros Halkias?

  That the guy that just in an instant can snap into that as opposed to like a guy's like.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Not thinking about it at all.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  For sure. And, and those guys too, the guys that have that energy where they're looking for it, everybody feels it.

• 58:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  You're, you're on point with that. This guy, yeah, he caught us off guard because he was smiling when he did it. Caught us off guard and, and we got, I think that was the only bouncing fight I feel like I lost.

• 58:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Cause it was like four on one until a couple more guys got there.

• 58:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  But like, like I, I went, I went home thinking like, I, I.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  Four Tongans. Four Tongans, that's a rugby team basically. Like you can't, you can't beat yourself up over that one.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I hung in there for a good couple of swings.

• 58:46Stavros Halkias?

  Why were you in American Samoa? How, how long did you live there?

• 58:49Speaker 03

  My old man, um, got, I don't know exactly how, but he got a job. There's, there's a trolley that goes on the, on the native side. Um, it goes from the bottom of the mountain to the top. So not the side, like there's one side of the island that's like hotels and nice and everything. We lived in a hut with the village. And so like, uh, he just basically for two years kept that trolley running. So people could go to the other side of the mountain to work. And it was crazy. Like I, I, I don't remember a ton of it. I was like, it was four, five and six or something like that.

• 59:19Stavros Halkias?

  So you're little.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  And so like, I remember like on Wednesday nights, the only time we ever had TV was Wednesday nights, the army channel played wrestling.

• 59:26Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  And like, I remember being so bored that we like, would watch geckos crawl on the walls and stuff like that. But like, you know, I don't remember a ton.

• 59:34Stavros Halkias?

  While your dad's working on the trolley.

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, the trolley.

• 59:37Stavros Halkias?

  Another very weird job.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Crazy, right?

• 59:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  I got a dollar on light green.

• 59:41Stavros Halkias?

  The trolley administrator.

• 59:42Speaker 04

  Head by nose.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well dude, you've lived a wild ass life. We haven't even really got, you gotta come back. Obviously we'll get more into it, but sounds like you have a lot of wisdom to give our fucking listeners.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 59:53Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like you're a fucking, a man who's as wise as he is strong.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh, I hope not.

• 59:59Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, what do we got here, little buddy? Play us a couple of calls.

• 1:00:02Speaker 00

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• 1:00:57Speaker 07

  Hi, Bobby, Eldis, and Christine Jess. I have two questions for you. The first one is, is it weird to attend a comedy show by yourself? I'm pretty introverted and have always had a smaller group of friends. And I'm usually okay with going to things by myself, but I didn't really want to sit in a 2000 seat, something theater, by myself. So I was too nervous to go to your, where I'd like to get to the dreamy tour. So yeah, is it weird to go to a comedy show by yourself? My second question is, I think this question's been asked before, but only by male listeners. I'm a woman in a larger metropolitan area in her late twenties.

• 1:01:42Speaker 07

  So a lot of my girlfriends are, have fiancés, or husbands, or boyfriends, or whatever, and I'm single. So I'm at the age where everyone wants to do everything with their husband, or their boyfriend or fiance. How do you deal with getting into your late twenties, early thirties, and... Nobody wants to spend time with just their friends, like none of these girls want to spend time with the girls. They always want to drag their fiance or their boyfriend or their husband along and I don't always want to hang out with them.

• 1:02:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:13Speaker 07

  So, how do I respectfully tell my friends that I don't want to hang out with your boyfriend and your fiance or your husband? Like, can we just have girls' time? Um, or is this just part of getting older? So yeah, let me know and um, hopefully I'll see you in your next tour. Bye.

• 1:02:30Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, I mean, that is, that is tough.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Tale as old as time.

• 1:02:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Classic stuff. And yeah, she's right. It is mostly guys. So it's refreshing to hear a woman be like, I don't want to fucking hang out with you.

• 1:02:41Speaker 04

  Well, her, her first question is an easy answer.

• 1:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:43Speaker 04

  Which is no, it's not awkward to go to a comedy show by yourself.

• 1:02:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for, for real. I love, I mean, I love going to movies by myself. I love popping into like shows. Like, that's the nice thing about doing something by yourself is like, you decide if you're not feeling it. You get, um, obviously some of these are like produ-, like a comedy show. If you come to one of our shows, you're gonna like it. You're gonna have a good time. And especially a comedy show is particularly easy because it's like, once it starts, it's just a fucking comedy show all the way through. There's no like, interacting, there's no doing anything. Even, in fact, it's like, you know, going with people. I mean, obviously it's fun because you can talk afterwards, but it's all, it's not the actual experience that's fun to do. It's not like going to fucking Benihana by yourself. You know what I mean?

• 1:03:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like, it's like, you know, it's, it's totally, it's totally fine. And I mean, I remember back in the day, every place, when we, when we did Come Town Tours, every fucking comedy club was like, we've never sold more single tickets in our lives.

• 1:03:42Stavros Halkias?

  Every fucking place was like that.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  That's a badge of honor though.

• 1:03:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were bringing the community together. Um, and like-

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  It seems like, like, it's, it's, all the focus is off you too.

• 1:03:53Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Like, you can relax and you don't have to be worried about, like, your nervousness or anything. The lights go down. Focus is up on stage.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. I guess, particularly if you're a nervous person, maybe you're worried about crowd work and getting put on. And like, you know, if you go to a shitty comedian show, that can be an issue, but like- I think I would have a lot. I actually did talk to a guy who I was positive was there by himself in the first San Francisco, the first show in San Francisco. And it was like, it didn't come up, but even if it did, I wouldn't have been fucking mean about it, whatever. But yeah, definitely go to the show. Don't let that, don't let, I like having little experiences by myself. Whether that's like, you know, going to a fucking museum or just doing shit like that. It's nice. And again, being in control of it is pretty cool. Where there's not, you don't have to like, get everybody's fucking, everybody to weigh in.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  The second question is a little bit of like, it is a little of like, yeah, you just gotta grow up a little bit. But your friends also, the second one is a classic meet in the middle compromise situation. Where it's like, look, there's gonna be some vegetables, which is a group dinner. Some cabbage. Some cabbage you have to eat to like, before you can have the like, wings of just getting fucked up and gossiping with the people you actually give a fuck about, right? Like, but this is part of growing up. I remember being like 20, in your early to mid twenties. And when somebody would have like, would like spring their girlfriend on you, you'd be like, are you fucking kidding me dude? You're a fucking piece of shit. You don't even fucking care, right? But it's like, this- She doesn't even like Star Wars.

• 1:05:29Stavros Halkias?

  Are you fucking joking dude?

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  Beer pong is an even numbers game and you're throwing off the mat.

• 1:05:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're gonna play with her. You're gonna play with her.

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, cuz she's such a good shooter.

• 1:05:40Stavros Halkias?

  She fucking sucks at beer pong dude. I've been practicing all week.

• 1:05:43Speaker 04

  She keeps trying to bounce it. I'm gonna swat that shit every time.

• 1:05:47Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, you have to like, but I think it's maybe a little, I think all this is a little connected where it's like-

• 1:05:53Speaker 04

  False barriers.

• 1:05:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  I think. I think there's a bit of a false psychological barrier to like getting your friends to hang out. Oh, they're not gonna want to cuz they have their boyfriends or whatever, but like- If my girlfriend wants to go hang out with her friends, there's no explanation needed.

• 1:06:05Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:06:06Speaker 04

  It's great.

• 1:06:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and so like, look, might some of your friends be in weird relationships? That's a separate issue.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Stavros Halkias?

  But for the most part, it's like, you know, and we give the example, I hang out with Eldis all the time. Obviously too much, probably, but like, I'll hang out with Eldis, I'll hang out with his wife. And it's like, you know what I mean? Like, I'll hang out with you, I'll hang out with your girl. It's like, and it's also a thing of getting to know these people. I think, you know, there is something annoying about friends that just want to spring, they want to bring a significant other into the rotation immediately.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  All the time, too.

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  They gotta earn their way in.

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  At this point, Eldis' wife is a good friend of, like, it's like, I would hang out with her alone.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  But that took, I mean, they've been dating, you guys have been together for years, right? Like, that doesn't just happen overnight. And it's like, the same thing with other people's, it's almost like you have to, it's like you date the, you know what I mean? Like, the person's friend where there's like, levels of friend.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:02Stavros Halkias?

  Where you, that a significant other becomes.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  They don't need to be in the group chat just yet, but like, there's levels.

• 1:07:07Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  This is a real respectful bros podcast, asterisk real quick.

• 1:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  You could have so just made a bad joke about your buddy's wife and you just slid right past it. Nobody else did.

• 1:07:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  And it was like, asterisk, keep going.

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, imagine being the woman that's married to Eldis. Your life is already a nightmare.

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  You lived with Stav for a year and a half.

• 1:07:31Stavros Halkias?

  We were roommates, like, I was roommates with his wife. Yeah, she's been through enough.

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  I want to say too, about this, with this, like, I think for, for her, she should feel like her friends, if they are her friends. Your friends should put in the same effort to give you alone time that you should to learning, to be friends with their new.

• 1:07:52Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. And that's key, that's key, is that it is like a give and take of like, you don't want to be, like, every time they ask to hang out, and if their boyfriend is coming, are you like, no? Because then it's like, if they invite you to like, four group hangs, and you say no every time, then they might even start to think like, does she just not even like, you know what I mean?

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you have to, exactly, it's a give and take, it's part of getting older. It's also hard because, and I've definitely been here, when it's like, when you're the fucking single one of the crew, and it's like, it reinforces your insecurities of like, And that might be happening to her on some level where it's like you're a little resentful. Everybody's happy but you. Everybody wa- oh, you're having such a good time with your fucking... But what about me? And it's like, I definitely went through that when I was younger. And then you mature and you realize like, no, it's actually good when your friends are with someone they love.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:43Stavros Halkias?

  You're happy for them. And like, hey, if they're a little annoying, you don't gotta see them every time. You can skip half the group hangs, but you should still see them so- you still make an effort. And your friends should be able to be like, oh, let's just have girls' nights.

• 1:08:56Speaker 04

  I had that in my twenties with my friends where I was like, oh, I thought it was gonna be the four of us living in this apartment forever.

• 1:09:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  And it was like, you just get over it eventually.

• 1:09:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. All my friends with homes had that, yeah.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Speaker 04

  Oh, you want a lawn and property you own, is that it? You wanna start a family?

• 1:09:18Stavros Halkias?

  That arrow.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  We just bought a hookah, man.

• 1:09:22Speaker 04

  Come on, you're supposed to hang out.

• 1:09:25Stavros Halkias?

  We don't- Split this four ways.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  I'm doing two hoses at once over here.

• 1:09:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess we bought the four hose hookah for nothing. I could've gotten a single one.

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  You're not respecting my life plan.

• 1:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  I got enough peach shisha to last us six months. You fucking piece of shit.

• 1:09:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sorry.

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  File this one under, it's all part of growing up. I mean, it's not as ea- not to dismiss the question or anything, but it's like, yeah, you're just going to adjust to a new social dynamic of like, people, other people being around. But like, at those gatherings and get togethers and shit, the dudes are gonna break off and they're gonna have their chat. The girls are gonna break off and have girl time.

• 1:10:03Stavros Halkias?

  The ones you don't wanna hang out with, they don't wanna hang out with you.

• 1:10:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:06Stavros Halkias?

  You both have to do a respectful dance for your friends' sake.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:10Stavros Halkias?

  And then eventually you might have- form some kind of grudging respect that true friendship does come out of. That's how this works. That's a great point. That's a great point.

• 1:10:20Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so yeah, good luck. Good luck. We're rooting for you.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  And come to a comedy show.

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  And come to a comedy show. Uh, if we happen to come by, you know, say, tell us, we'll get- we'll put- we'll even put you on the list.

• 1:10:31Speaker 08

  Hey, it's Bobby Baby. I need some advice. This is pretty serious stuff. I, uh, have recently overcame the dry spell of like two years and dating this girl. I really like her. We like lots of the same stuff. She's funny. Really get along. Really healthy relationship. Uh, but, um, I got her into rock climbing a couple of months ago and it's been a really fun thing that we can do together. But now she's too jacked. Like, um, you know, I'm looking at her arms like these are, these are some dude biceps. Like her doggy style. Like I'm looking at a dude's back, bro. And like, it makes your ass fat, but I'm like, I'm not sure what to do about it. Cause like, yeah, I'm like, shit, but like.

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  What's her number?

• 1:11:17Stavros Halkias?

  Is that it? Yeah. What, what's she up to for real? I got, oh, yeah. I literally, I let her fucking, she takes a little chalk bag and fucking rubs her hands before she jacks me off.

• 1:11:26Speaker 03

  You did not call the right podcast for this question. No. You called the wrong show, bro.

• 1:11:33Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I'm trying to carabin into that pussy.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  We're not gonna sit here and be like, yeah, jacked people are disgusting.

• 1:11:41Speaker 03

  I thought he was gonna say something along the lines of her grip is too much now. Right. Which, you know, maybe some calluses. Maybe that doesn't feel good.

• 1:11:48Speaker 04

  And there's a communication thing.

• 1:11:49Speaker 03

  When that's going in your ass. But worrying that she's, she's got like definition in her back and biceps. You said her butt is getting bigger. Like, come on, bro. Unless she's like all trended out, like got on. Yeah. She doing, unless she's on gear. Come on, dude.

• 1:12:04Stavros Halkias?

  She threw a baseball at me 98 miles an hour the other day.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of those girls are in really good shape, but like, it's not, it's not like they're gonna go step on the Mr. Olympia stage. Totally. Miss Olympia. And is that, that's, that's.

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  Is there a Mrs. Olympia?

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  By the way. Miss.

• 1:12:19Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, Aldous, could you have gotten a smaller speaker? This fucking, just buy a bigger one, you piece of shit. That's the biggest.

• 1:12:27Speaker 05

  Oh, hold on. No, sorry. Go ahead. I think I figured out how to turn the volume up on that.

• 1:12:36Stavros Halkias?

  No problem, man. It's not a critical portion of the show. It's set up different from the one at home, man.

• 1:12:46Stavros Halkias?

  But I think we did get it. Anyway, whatever.

• 1:12:51Stavros Halkias?

  Is that the end of it?

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Are we allowed to just say we fucking hate the person called?

• 1:12:58Stavros Halkias?

  So far we haven't.

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  You lost me, bro. I'm sorry.

• 1:13:00Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna let him finish. He's not gonna say anything that's gonna exonerate him, but let's at least let him finish.

• 1:13:06Speaker 08

  She's too jacked. She's getting jacker than me. She's more jacked than me.

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's it right there. That's it right there.

• 1:13:15Speaker 03

  You can hear that in his voice the whole time.

• 1:13:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's it right there. That's what I was gonna fucking say, and he just said it himself. Come on, dude. I'm looking at the speaker like it's him. You gotta stop.

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Stop what you're doing, you fucking small anchor speaker, Bluetooth speaker. Um, yeah, I mean, that's really what it comes down to. You know, we're on the record here. I like, I think it's cool when a girl is jacked, that when she's strong. Obviously, I'm interested in fucking all types of women, uh, from the jacked to the pleasantly plump. Uh,

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, I'm gonna hook, I haven't told him yet, but I got, I'm gonna hook Stobby up.

• 1:13:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, that's actually so sick. Please don't, please don't joke about stuff like this.

• 1:13:58Speaker 03

  Definitely not.

• 1:13:59Stavros Halkias?

  This has been a great day. I just can't get, I can't get my hopes up like my dad saying, dude, I'm actually gonna be at your fucking football game. I don't, don't do this. Don't pretend there's jacked girls waiting. If there aren't. So anyway, that's, he said everything he needed to say. She's getting jacker than me. She's probably better. You're being a bitch, dude. You're being a sm- you're, you're doing, you're engaging in top level little dickery right now.

• 1:14:28Speaker 03

  You don't have to take this as like, you suck forever, but take it as three guys telling you, suck it up, or like, you gotta check yourself, homie. Like, you do, you need to check yourself.

• 1:14:37Stavros Halkias?

  Are you actually, cause it doesn't even sound like, it literally sounds like sour grapes because he's upset. She's bigger than me. And so it's it's the it's kind of it's literally sad actually like I feel bad for this woman where it's like this guy that you're in a relationship with who ostensibly has some feelings of love towards even if it's not you know they haven't said I love you yet.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  She probably didn't even want to rock climb.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:59Speaker 03

  She's probably doing it because him.

• 1:15:01Stavros Halkias?

  And she's like hey he was right I love this and maybe we're gonna be together forever and he's like stop getting strong stop being and then it's like because she's better at something than him he's like and you know what she's ugly now I mean that's the most classic misogynist thing to do is be like well now she's not fuckable it's definitely not that I feel emasculated it's that she's gross and it's like she can't you don't get ugly because you fucking do like three months of rock climb you don't get jacked enough like look am I am I here to say that like looks everybody likes different stuff is there a moment where somebody you're with transforms their body to such an extent that you don't find them attractive anymore sure that can happen

• 1:15:41Stavros Halkias?

  a little bit of rock climbing doesn't seem like it would you're on that threshold this is so much more to me psychological about this guy you gotta grow up you gotta look deep in your heart and see are you actually not attracted or are you just trying to fucking you know you're creating this narrative about how she's bad now because you feel like a fucking little pussy.

• 1:15:58Speaker 04

  It's not like she's walking around the house ripping apples in half and like.

• 1:16:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:16:03Speaker 03

  Like she's working out and you're the one who encouraged it as well.

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  You're spending time together doing a thing that you enjoy just like appreciate that.

• 1:16:10Speaker 03

  That becomes a super consistent thing with relationships whether it's money or like health or whatever people get really weird about their partners doing better than them or whatever like it's just I think that in itself like no matter what you should always want maybe I don't want you to beat me everything but if it's my partner and my kid.

• 1:16:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's the idea that's the whole point is that you find somebody that you're just a just always you know happy for and especially not like to see yourself in competition with a partner is so fucked up you know like that's so crazy.

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  So anyway. Maybe there's space for like a little bit of competitive shit talking when you're like together doing the thing because like I play this card game with my girlfriend she absolutely whoops my ass at it all the time and I'm like you're fucking cheating the whole time but like after like we played a fun game together.

• 1:17:00Stavros Halkias?

  You threaten to drink unless she lets you win. You're like I'm gonna start again you fucking whore.

• 1:17:04Speaker 03

  No this makes me thirsty.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  I'm on the roof with a bottle of Jim Beam like, stop cheating.

• 1:17:17Speaker 04

  Just enjoy it, man.

• 1:17:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, man.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  I feel bad. I feel bad. Like, we've kind of ripped on this guy.

• 1:17:22Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, that's what he needed, bro.

• 1:17:23Speaker 04

  He needed it, though. He needed it.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  Don't take it as like, this is the totality of who you are, but take it as like a moment to check yourself.

• 1:17:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're rooting for you to figure this out and actually think about this deeply. What's actually troubling you? And if you break up with her, tell her, I said, what's up?

• 1:17:36Speaker 04

  What up?

• 1:17:37Stavros Halkias?

  What's up, little mama?

• 1:17:40Speaker 09

  Hey, I have, uh, I guess I'm looking for some advice.

• 1:17:46Speaker 09

  I got, I was in a relationship for four years with someone that I thought was going to last a lifetime. And he, I guess his feelings have changed and he's with someone else within the two weeks that we broke up. And I'm having a very hard time adjusting because we're also still living together.

• 1:18:05Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:18:07Speaker 09

  Wants to go out and stay out over there, which is fine.

• 1:18:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's not.

• 1:18:11Speaker 09

  But, um,

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  It's not fine.

• 1:18:13Speaker 09

  If you have any advice for like, what the fuck do I do to deal with this? I would really appreciate you.

• 1:18:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:18:20Speaker 09

  If you could address that and give me some fucking pointers because it's actually a, it's rough. It's really rough right now.

• 1:18:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:29Speaker 09

  Thank you so much and I love you.

• 1:18:31Stavros Halkias?

  Good God almighty. I mean, by the time this comes out, hopefully you've healed.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  Well, it's Christmas.

• 1:18:40Speaker 03

  Merry Christmas.

• 1:18:42Speaker 04

  Hopefully she has a new roommate by then.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, look, you're just in the, like, this is, this is somebody who the, she's in the mid, a hurricane has hit her house. She's twirling around it in a fucking golf cart while she sees a cow go past her. And she's like, how do I deal with the tornado damage? It's like, you're still in the middle of the fucking tornado. This is like, there's, I feel so bad for you. Number one is like, you can't be there. And I know finances are difficult. I totally get that. It like, you need to crash with some friend, like, at this point, like, a really good friend will understand that, like, you can't be in that place. Get out of there as soon as fucking possible. Break the lease if you have to.

• 1:19:30Stavros Halkias?

  If you can figure it out. If you can't, um, you just have to spend as little time as possible.

• 1:19:37Stavros Halkias?

  From, well, look, all we have is, we don't know what's going on, but from what you've said, it's like, this is incredibly weird and shitty behavior. You can't have this person in your life. You have to go no contact fully. This person's completely fucked you over. And to still live with them is, is just impossible for you.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Did she say he cheated on him, or he just started dating someone within six weeks of breaking up? Part of it at the beginning.

• 1:19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Two weeks, right?

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  Two weeks, yeah. Which kind of implies.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  Yes. If you've been together four years and.

• 1:20:04Stavros Halkias?

  And he's, he's dating someone and you live in the same, like, does that bitch come over? That's crazy. That's so inconsiderate on his part, right?

• 1:20:12Speaker 04

  Did she say that, that the guy was going like to her place or something?

• 1:20:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's like there, he's there a lot, so it doesn't sound like this girl's coming over, but.

• 1:20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Well, either way, you gotta get it. This cannot be the situation.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:24Stavros Halkias?

  And in terms of how to deal with it, this is just, I, I really hate to, there's no, you're just so fucked for a little bit. Like emotionally, it's just gonna be so hard.

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  The thing that's craziest about it is like, long-term, that kinda has to work towards forgiveness for your sake. Like, if you're gonna like move on and like have a better life and like imagine a better life, you're gonna have to get to that point. But right now, that's so far away. It's like, sounds insane.

• 1:20:51Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, first of all.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  You kinda have to.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck JP and his fucking Catholic bullshit.

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  The Pope teaches us that we must.

• 1:20:58Speaker 03

  I think I'm the only one on this couch who's got a divorce under the belt.

• 1:21:04Speaker 03

  And I will say, hopefully, hopefully you come back around. Like, in my case, we had a kid. So I got super lucky that we came back around and communicated.

• 1:21:14Stavros Halkias?

  To bargain, to hold over her head.

• 1:21:16Speaker 03

  You wanna see your kid? Cause that's how the world works. Dads have all the power.

• 1:21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:21:23Speaker 03

  I, I mean, yeah, like you're saying, we talked about this earlier, uh, really briefly about having your life kinda run away with momentum.

• 1:21:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:21:33Speaker 03

  And she's in the thick of momentum right now. Like you're saying, the tornado.

• 1:21:38Stavros Halkias?

  These currents, yeah, whatever metaphor we want, waves, currents, fire, like you're in the middle of a nat, an emotional natural disaster has happened to you. And like, you're gonna be living in some fucking FEMA camps for a little bit. Like, it's gonna be brutal for a little bit. And that's, knowing that and letting that, also by the way. You have to be okay with that cuz that that you know I've done that over breakups where I pretend I'm fine. Where I'm like, oh, whatever. And I go out, try and you know, go on a date with somebody that you don't even. It's not even you don't even like them. You can't even process it cuz you're like, I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. You just go home. You're fucking devastated like. Just know, just give yourself the the permission to be completely fucked up by this.

• 1:22:20Stavros Halkias?

  You will be incredibly sad. This is like, this is a betrayal and it's it's somebody that's not, at the very least. This wasn't handled the correct way, right?

• 1:22:29Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:22:29Stavros Halkias?

  At the very least, what you want for somebody who you've been in a four-year relationship with. When they know it's over, to can break it off in a considerate way. Be far away from you when they start dating somebody else. Like, the fact that this is in your, you know, the fact that you're even aware of this is fucked up. This should be something that you find out, be you know.

• 1:22:50Speaker 03

  Facebook or some shit.

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this should be something you find out eight months later. And you have a devastating couple of days, but you're like, ah, ultimately, what am I gonna do? He was always gonna date somebody else. Not the second you're trying to process the breakup, you also have to deal with that.

• 1:23:05Speaker 03

  And you still see him when he comes home from work, you know?

• 1:23:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  The only thing too, I'd wanna say is just like, like we were saying about the momentum, when you get a chance. Lift your head up and breathe, you know, like Tupac, keep your head up like that. Just taking a moment to. Separate yourself from the chaos, even though you're still sitting in it. Just a moment where you can kinda like, look at yourself from above, even if it's 20 seconds like. That could change the outcome of your life. Just one silly decision here or there, you don't know, like it's it's.

• 1:23:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Hundred percent. You wanna give yourself permission to feel bad and not be, you know, mean to yourself. But at the same time, don't do something that'll fuck you up. Yeah, right. You know, long term and you know, hopefully you're old, mature enough and like you're, this isn't, if you've been in a four-year relationship, you're you're hopefully not like. You know, I mean, unless you are young as hell, which I don't think so cuz she was saying she thought it. The problem is not even the four years, like she thought this was it.

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  And for that person to pull the rug out from under you is just really, really tough. But you will get over this. It will take too long, like you won't feel good for at least a minimum of a year, to be honest with you. Yeah. And then it's like, and then you just have to rebuild, like fucked up things happen to people. This is a fucked up thing that happened to you. We're sorry and you just have to sort of believe in yourself and not. You know, feel this, let it run through you, but also don't let it completely fuck your shit up. Stay, stay on top of work, stay on top of your health, stay on top of your, even your social connections. So your friends and, you know, not dating yet, but like, you don't want to go into a cocoon. Cause you know, that happens too with breakups sometimes.

• 1:24:41Speaker 03

  Exactly, yeah. As long as she doesn't work out, we got a guy for her.

• 1:24:47Speaker 04

  Robert's totally right. Like if you have like the moment to take a second, like that's where like mindfulness practices and shit really come in handy at times like this.

• 1:24:54Stavros Halkias?

  Now he's fucking, but he was Catholic before.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  I'm going Eastern with it.

• 1:24:59Speaker 04

  But like you, you don't want to like compound things with some other crazy shit that you invite into your life by like how emotional you're feeling.

• 1:25:06Speaker 03

  I've made so many bad emotional decisions in my life, you know, like.

• 1:25:10Stavros Halkias?

  Worst one, go, no. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

• 1:25:15Speaker 03

  Anyways.

• 1:25:16Stavros Halkias?

  Give me like number nine.

• 1:25:18Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know.

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm fucking kidding, dude, I'm sorry.

• 1:25:21Speaker 03

  Example.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, I don't.

• 1:25:22Speaker 03

  No, but like, you know, you, you get, I'm 40 now. So like I look back and I'm like, fuck, like I, so many times I could have had be a reset moment. And instead I just let it keep slipping.

• 1:25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, for sure. I've definitely had those moments too for, you know, and it's different stuff for everybody. Addiction does it for people, you know, trauma hap, you know, other traumatic experience, death, you know, you know, a, a loss of a, of a, of a loved one. Break, breakups can happen. You know what I mean? Like all of these are the kinds of things that can completely derail things, but they can also be big reset moments. So let this be one of those for you. And ultimately as this doesn't help to hear now, but that's not the motherfucker you wanted to marry. If this is the kind of person that treats you like this.

• 1:26:04Speaker 03

  He did you a favor.

• 1:26:05Stavros Halkias?

  It was, it was either now or it's like 10 years later when you have a kid and it's like even worse, right? So good luck. Sorry. Brutal stuff. We're not going to lie. We're your friends, so we're not going to lie to you, but we are rooting for you.

• 1:26:20Speaker 10

  Big Eld. What's up Stav, a long time listener, first time caller. What's up Eldis, esteemed guest. Without giving away too much, I have a job at a kind of well-known university and like a public-facing job at sporting events and you know, for the most part, people are really, really positive and really nice, but every once in a while you get, you accidentally run across some like pretty mean comments. So I guess I was just wondering like, how do you deal with any sort of negative feedback? Alright. And how do you kind of just like move on through that because you're obviously

• 1:27:00Speaker 10

  way more well-known than I'll ever really be. So, uh, thanks again. Love the show.

• 1:27:06Stavros Halkias?

  He's talking about people coming up to him in costume and not being cool. Yeah, being like, being like Alabama's gay. Stav, how do you deal with being a asshole? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does it, how do I deal with?

• 1:27:19Speaker 04

  They don't hate you, they hate the Gonzaga Bulldogs.

• 1:27:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's true. I mean, you know. You gotta get that a lot though, like the, the, like, what's up, big boy? Can I pick you up? Can I, can I do this? Oh yeah, definitely. And I think like a lot of it is, I mean, the, the best thing to do is to just let them sit in their comment, for me anyways. That's a good move. This is hard because these people, this is different a little bit, right? Cause like, these people think they're being funny. Like, they think I'm gonna, they, they just think they say something and it's gonna be funny. They don't understand that it's rude. They don't know me. You've been hearing that over and over since you were a child. Even if they had a good one, you know, if it was a good one, sometimes I have like,

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  not that it, not that I'm encouraging people to say anything, but like, I'll talk to somebody and they say something good and it's like, oh, we haven't even brought this up. The guy at the fucking pho restaurant. I got fucking roasted to smithereens where we, me, we were fucking, we were, we were at, we were getting pho. It was, uh, wait, were you, no, it was straight George. Yeah, yeah. It was straight George, the nutrition expert. It was me, George and Eldis and we were sitting to get pho. This guy doesn't know who I am at all, right? We're ordering and I, I had just gotten over food poisoning, so I'm like, we want to get soup, something kind of light. And I order a small bowl of pho and the guy goes, Small?

• 1:28:46Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't know me at all. Literally catches me off guard in a way. Cause like, I thought it's like, you know, you don't bring your gun. It's like a, you know, yeah, you're a gunslinger, but I left it with my horse. I'm at, I'm at a safe, I'm at a saloon where my protection has been, you know what I mean? Like he completely caught me off guard. I'm flat footed.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  You're at the big and tall store.

• 1:29:04Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. It's like, it's crazy how I had nothing. I couldn't even like get him back. I was just like shocked. But you know what? I was laughing because he did get me, you know what I mean? But, uh, yeah, that guy.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  That's rare though, for you guys watching.

• 1:29:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's super rare.

• 1:29:17Speaker 03

  Every single one of you thinks you're gonna be the one to do that too.

• 1:29:20Stavros Halkias?

  But that's also why it worked because he had no idea who I was. It was just like so, it's also like such bad customer service. Cause it's like, yeah, I'm a comedian, right? I found it funny. My friends found it funny because we bust on each other. Like this is a story we'll tell forever. It's, it actually, he did in a weird way, because of how we're set up enrich our lives. But we were talking and it was like, imagine if we're like guys that work together. And I'm a fat guy who's insecure about how much he eats.

• 1:29:47Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:29:48Stavros Halkias?

  And the waiter's like, really? You fat fucking slug? You're gonna eat a small soup? That was a wild move, bro. But in terms of general negativity, like, yeah, I like to let people sit in it. Like, cause they'll usually say something incredibly ignorant or they'll say something, whatever. You ignore a lot of it, right? Like again, I'm guessing you're a mascot. I would say just do a backflip away from them if I were you. Um, shoot, shoot them in the face with a t-shirt gun.

• 1:30:21Speaker 03

  If you're, if you're a mascot or a comedian or a public figure, you've gotta have like a repertoire of responses in the back fucking pocket. Like I can't tell you how many times people ask me to arm wrestle or whatever. So like I have, I literally have like five things. I, I used, I used to go, I've changed it. I used to be a little bit harsher. Now I make a joke. Now like it's the same joke over and over and over. And it's like, literally I say that like 20 times a day.

• 1:30:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right. That's gotta be brutal.

• 1:30:53Speaker 03

  If you're a mascot and people keep coming over like trying to pull your tail or whatever, like you should have something prepared.

• 1:31:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You have to have something prepared for yourself.

• 1:31:02Speaker 04

  Like pepper sprayer or a knife or something.

• 1:31:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

• 1:31:05Speaker 04

  Don't get caught lacking in the soup.

• 1:31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But yeah, in general, man, it's like you gotta, you gotta let as much as you can roll off your back.

• 1:31:13Speaker 04

  He calls back, he's like, I'm the quarterback of Texas football.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's Arch Manning. Or no, it's the other guy that got fucked. Who was it?

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  Quinn yours.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  Quinn yours. Yeah, yeah. Everybody's begging for Arch Manning.

• 1:31:23Speaker 03

  Arch signed to Texas, didn't he?

• 1:31:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's playing there. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:27Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, dude, I don't know.

• 1:31:28Speaker 04

  There's like that Wilt Chamberlain story, have something in the back pocket where like, someone said, hey, how's the weather up there? And he spit on their head and he said, it's raining.

• 1:31:37Speaker 03

  What a savage. I just saw him compete, like he did like a track and field thing.

• 1:31:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:41Speaker 03

  And destroyed it. It's so crazy, like watching a guy who's like all legs. Just the way he moved, man.

• 1:31:49Speaker 04

  Did the high jump like eight feet.

• 1:31:50Stavros Halkias?

  This is obviously an old video. He's dead, right?

• 1:31:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he died like, like 15 years ago, but he had like a cap on and he was like, he did the high jump with no training and did like eight feet.

• 1:32:01Speaker 03

  Jumped into hay, like, like if they front, they jump with their stomach towards the bar.

• 1:32:05Speaker 04

  He used to lift with Arnold. He lifted with Arnold. Arnold said he was one of the strongest athletes he's ever seen.

• 1:32:09Speaker 03

  I saw him, he did Conan, like he was in one of the Conans.

• 1:32:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, Conan and Barbarian.

• 1:32:14Speaker 03

  And there's a very famous photo with Arnold, um, Andre the Giant, who was my hero growing up. And, and, uh, it's, it's not Kareem Abdul Jabbar, it's, it's, uh.

• 1:32:23Speaker 04

  Wilt Chamberlain, yeah.

• 1:32:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's definitely Wilt. Yeah, yeah. He's in Conan, I'm pretty sure it's Wilt.

• 1:32:27Speaker 03

  Alright, yeah. Wilt was the one that was in Bruce Lee's movie, right?

• 1:32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Kareem was in Bruce Lee.

• 1:32:31Speaker 03

  No, Kareem was.

• 1:32:32Stavros Halkias?

  Was in Bruce Lee. Wilt was in, uh.

• 1:32:34Speaker 04

  Conan.

• 1:32:35Stavros Halkias?

  Conan. I'm pretty sure.

• 1:32:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause, cause Arnold has a story about working with Wilt and like, Wilt was gonna jump off a thing and Arnold was like, and then Wilt, he said to me, Arnold, here I am coming. And then he jumped off the cliff or something like.

• 1:32:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:49Speaker 04

  But he said like, he was a fucking beast athlete. Like he'd work out with the, uh, Gold's Gym guys and just at like age 50.

• 1:32:55Speaker 03

  Magic Johnson's in Gold's Gym Venice, like five times a week kicking ass. Still.

• 1:33:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  I, I still haven't had the balls to go up to him, but I want to. Like, I see him, I geek out a little bit. He was one of my favorites.

• 1:33:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's cool. Yeah, he is in insane shape for, you know, being old, having HIV, the whole thing.

• 1:33:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't think, I don't, like, he's got like literally no.

• 1:33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's, it's untraceable at this point, which is fucking wild.

• 1:33:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:17Stavros Halkias?

  That is cool. Salute to science for making HIV.

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  Sign some money, baby.

• 1:33:25Speaker 04

  Oh, did you know that, you must know, since Andre the Giant is your hero, because it just struck me like, you were a theater kid, and then you became a gigantic strong man. You know, Andre the Giant was like, when he was a kid, he would get driven to school by Samuel Beckett, the playwright, like, they were friends.

• 1:33:39Speaker 03

  No, I didn't know that.

• 1:33:40Speaker 04

  He was like fifteen, he was this gigantic kid, and like, they just struck up a friendship. They lived in like the same.

• 1:33:45Stavros Halkias?

  Is that true?

• 1:33:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:45Stavros Halkias?

  I read that, and I thought it was like one of those internet hoax articles.

• 1:33:48Speaker 04

  Well, I choose to believe.

• 1:33:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, no, it sounds right.

• 1:33:51Speaker 04

  He lived like a farmer or something.

• 1:33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I just didn't do the, I just didn't do the research, it just sounded so cool, that I was like, that's fucking awesome.

• 1:33:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I freaking loved Andre, like Princess Bride was one of my favorites.

• 1:34:03Speaker 04

  Like, people throw around the word legend a lot, but like, that's a fucking legend, in every aspect. The amount he could drink.

• 1:34:10Speaker 03

  I went and hung out, we're doing interview stuff.

• 1:34:12Stavros Halkias?

  Go, go.

• 1:34:13Speaker 03

  Okay, so I hung out, I hung out with Roddy Piper.

• 1:34:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:34:17Speaker 03

  Two months before he passed. Uh, was at a baseball game in Pennsylvania, and, uh, he was so fucking cool. Like, the coolest dude, hung out with us for like hours, like, just super cool, and the whole time, he was just like, "Don't ever be a wrestler, man, don't ever be a wrestler, man." Like, just begging me, and then he kept telling me all these stories about Andre and all this stuff. He was telling me the story, and I think I'd heard it on, on a podcast somewhere, someone else told it. But they were on a flight, and Andre obviously didn't fit in bathrooms on a flight. So they were flying, and I think it was an overseas flight, and so what they had to do was they just took like, clear tarp, and they put it all through the cockpit part, where, you know, where they make the food and everything?

• 1:35:02Speaker 03

  They covered that in the tarp, and, and Roddy had to hold Andre's hands while he leaned back over the tarp, and just shit all around.

• 1:35:11Speaker 04

  He's in a deep squat.

• 1:35:12Speaker 03

  Then they wrapped that up, and then they put that there on the plane for the rest of the flight.

• 1:35:16Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is gonna do that in the tour bus.

• 1:35:18Speaker 04

  Take notes, Eldis.

• 1:35:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's Eldis' idea on the tour bus.

• 1:35:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, we've been talking a lot about the tour, that's been like the extent of my tour managing. Just really worried about where we can shit, when we'll shit.

• 1:35:29Stavros Halkias?

  He's asked so many shitting questions. The driver explicitly told him no shitting on the bus.

• 1:35:34Speaker 03

  That's the rule, you know, yeah, trust me, that's the fucking rule.

• 1:35:37Stavros Halkias?

  I had a call with him, he was like, you can't shit on the bus, you know, I was like, yeah, we've been talking about it.

• 1:35:41Speaker 05

  You can tell from your voice.

• 1:35:46Speaker 04

  That guy suspect number one.

• 1:35:49Speaker 04

  We need like an emergency bin full of like those glade scent bombs or something, just in case of an emergency.

• 1:35:57Stavros Halkias?

  All right, well, yeah, fuck that guy. Got another question, Eldis?

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's getting late, we gotta start, we gotta get high and watch Friday after next.

• 1:36:05Speaker 04

  We got urgent business.

• 1:36:07Stavros Halkias?

  So we'll do maybe two more.

• 1:36:08Speaker 00

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• 1:36:33Speaker 06

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• 1:37:05Speaker 11

  Hey Eldis, hey Dobbs. For some background, I'm a young woman, I'm in my early twenties, and I really like having sex.

• 1:37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:37:13Speaker 11

  But a problem I've kind of run into, or that's manifested, is that I feel like I don't always contribute enough into like the physical actions of it. Like, it feels more like I'm getting fucked, and like, ideally, we should be fucking each other.

• 1:37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:37:27Speaker 11

  And so I'm seeking advice on how to engage more and be exciting.

• 1:37:33Speaker 11

  Some other background, I'm a fat woman, so I feel like that sometimes limits the range of things. But also, I feel like that's not a great excuse, cause like,

• 1:37:42Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:37:42Speaker 11

  In my experience, that doesn't affect fat men as much, so I don't know what they're, I don't know if it's a mental thing,

• 1:37:47Speaker 03

  I've seen big girls work.

• 1:37:51Speaker 11

  Additionally, things are covered in the head department, don't need advice there.

• 1:37:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well.

• 1:37:55Speaker 11

  One of the most redeeming factors of the overall experience, I guess.

• 1:37:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's huge.

• 1:38:00Speaker 11

  But otherwise, yeah, I could use some moves and some advice, uh, what do you guys like?

• 1:38:04Speaker 03

  Have you ever told, like, literally, in, in real life, have you ever honestly told a girl anything but that she was amazing at head?

• 1:38:12Speaker 04

  Hmm, I don't think I've ever given a negative head review.

• 1:38:16Speaker 03

  There's nobody.

• 1:38:17Stavros Halkias?

  But I also haven't been effusively, haven't effusively praised anyone who didn't deserve it.

• 1:38:23Speaker 03

  Infusively, okay, but.

• 1:38:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I'll say that was good, or.

• 1:38:26Speaker 03

  Right, well, that's all that it takes.

• 1:38:28Stavros Halkias?

  But like, I'll really make it clear, I mean it.

• 1:38:31Speaker 03

  Right, but the girl who sucks at it, she doesn't get to see all the other ones. She doesn't know, she just thinks she's good.

• 1:38:39Stavros Halkias?

  I believe our friend here.

• 1:38:40Speaker 03

  I believe her too, big girl.

• 1:38:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is, that is a stereotype I do find holds some truth.

• 1:38:46Speaker 04

  If I were to say anything negative about a, a girl who gave me head, I would feel like an Italian grandmother had served me a meal, and I, like, critiqued the pasta. I'm not gonna try to.

• 1:38:56Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I mean, I, there are, there, hold on a second, there is horrific head out there. That does exist.

• 1:39:01Speaker 04

  If it's painful, yeah, you gotta say so.

• 1:39:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to think, now I'm trying to think, one girl wouldn't give me head because I was uncircumcised, and that was fucked up, but, I guess, no, I haven't.

• 1:39:11Speaker 03

  Ever dated a Mormon girl?

• 1:39:12Stavros Halkias?

  No, uh, well, used to be, which actually is awesome, you know, like an ex Mormon.

• 1:39:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, super freaky.

• 1:39:19Stavros Halkias?

  Let's just say, yeah, exactly, there was no problem with head at all.

• 1:39:23Speaker 03

  Or the back door, because they're used to it.

• 1:39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, that's what having sex is to them, because, you know, God, God, Mormon God is okay with you getting fucked in your ass.

• 1:39:32Speaker 04

  Tricking God.

• 1:39:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:33Speaker 03

  With a closed eye to the brown eye.

• 1:39:35Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't look, yeah, yeah, it's like, that's like the blind spot with a security camera is a woman's asshole.

• 1:39:40Speaker 03

  Well, Joseph Smith said that, for sure. I was baptized Mormon when I was 11.

• 1:39:46Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 1:39:47Speaker 03

  And uh, my parents were pretending because we were so poor, we had no food and uh, the Mormon church feeds their people very well.

• 1:39:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  So we started going to church and I did baptisms for the dead and everything.

• 1:40:00Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  Um, I, I don't think my parents really thought they were faking, just for their sake.

• 1:40:04Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:40:04Speaker 03

  I think they thought they were trying, but it was really just, we were down and out, needed help.

• 1:40:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:09Speaker 03

  But uh.

• 1:40:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good idea to just go to a different religion every six months, the ones that feed you.

• 1:40:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mormon, Deseret Industries takes, I'm like, like we would have, like they make the best beef stew I've ever had. But like, like pantries full of food, all your milk, all your cheese, all that shit.

• 1:40:25Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:40:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, and they also would help out with other things. They don't do it for everybody, but like, they definitely, they give food to all their members and all that stuff too.

• 1:40:33Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, that's, that is a, you know, uh, if all religions did that, shit would be a lot better off instead of.

• 1:40:38Speaker 04

  It's a good way to scope it out, figure out where you wanna be like, what's the spread like at the Baha'i temple?

• 1:40:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:43Speaker 04

  See what kinda snacks we have. The Catholics famously bad at snacks.

• 1:40:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, you motherfuckers are buying gold crosses for the fucking priests. How about a fucking, how about some Dinty Moore? Um, anyway, back to our friend.

• 1:40:56Speaker 04

  What was her issue again?

• 1:40:57Stavros Halkias?

  She's, she feels like she's not doing enough to fuck.

• 1:41:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:00Stavros Halkias?

  Now, I would say, if you're going crazy with head, that's good. I mean, that's a great place to start. In terms of the a- actual coitus here, what do you really wanna do? You just don't wanna get, you don't wanna be a passive participant? Um, I mean, then ride some dick, I think is the number one maneuver. Do the kinda like, and you know, if, if you're a big, if you're a bigger girl, I get that. You know, I'm, I'm doing body weight squats, my knees hurt. You might need to fucking bulletproof your knees, you know? You may do some, some work, like dick riding is actually the number one way a woman can apply herself. I think we can all agree. And a, a sign of a pillow princess is someone who won't ride dick for longer than a couple of minutes.

• 1:41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Don't be one of those people, right? I mean, whatever, you wanna be that, personally. You know, most of it is fucking. I don't really give a fuck.

• 1:41:53Speaker 03

  Right, exactly.

• 1:41:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm fine looking at titties bobble while I fuck a girl and bust. That's cool with me. But, you know, if this is something she wants to work towards, maybe do the kind, you know, riding dick, absolutely. Being an active participant in doggy style sex can be fun. If a girl pushes back on your dick a little bit. Sometimes, you know, I've been around people who do a little too much leg locking for my taste. You know what I mean? Or they'll play with legs or whatever. Limits the mobility. Yeah.

• 1:42:24Speaker 03

  I've had girls, when they finish, they lock like that.

• 1:42:26Stavros Halkias?

  I like that. That's different. That's cool.

• 1:42:28Speaker 03

  If you've finished, but if you're like right before, it's the worst.

• 1:42:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something, I even like, I even like the, that makes me feel like, you know, um, the final boss is getting desperate and throwing all its finishing moves at me to make me not make a girl come. And I like persevering over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. But, but I just mean like, you know, these are the, these are the common things. I think if everyone's having a good time, if you're sucking dick like an animal, if you maybe want to bounce on some dick a little more, I think that's, those are my main, you know, those are my main. If you're, if you're covered in the head department, I think you're pretty good here.

• 1:43:03Speaker 03

  With, with oral and with just regular vaginal, like this feels like a fucking, um, what's that love line?

• 1:43:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's kind of like that. We consider ourselves one of the spiritual successors of the love line.

• 1:43:17Speaker 03

  Vaginal felt love line. So whether you're giving head or fucking.

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there we go.

• 1:43:23Speaker 03

  Either way, a little noise goes a long way.

• 1:43:27Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:43:27Speaker 03

  A long way.

• 1:43:28Stavros Halkias?

  A little neck kiss here and there.

• 1:43:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, a little neck kiss. I like ears, but like.

• 1:43:33Stavros Halkias?

  An earlobe, bro.

• 1:43:33Speaker 03

  You know, the noises for both sides.

• 1:43:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:43:37Speaker 05

  I wonder if she's like enjoying it or what she's thinking, if she's like feeling self-conscious during it, like, you know, am I fucking good, am I fucking bad?

• 1:43:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:43:46Speaker 05

  I feel like the most awesome sex is just like when you achieve ego death and you're just like, you're just getting your fuck on.

• 1:43:54Stavros Halkias?

  You're right, you're absolutely right.

• 1:43:56Speaker 05

  It's like, it's like, you know, just think about what you can do to get there without like, just not even thinking about it, but just fucking.

• 1:44:02Stavros Halkias?

  Getting in the zone.

• 1:44:03Speaker 03

  She's on the right route. It's cool, like. A lot of girls, they think just showing up is the fucking thing, right?

• 1:44:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:44:09Speaker 03

  She's in the game. She's trying to figure out how can we make this fucking better? So that right there shows you're in the right fucking.

• 1:44:16Stavros Halkias?

  Every offseason, she comes back with a jump hook.

• 1:44:19Speaker 03

  Been working on my free throws.

• 1:44:21Speaker 04

  She's been training with Hakeem Olajuwon at the low post.

• 1:44:24Speaker 03

  Now we're back to Wilt Chamberlain.

• 1:44:26Speaker 04

  It all comes back to great centers. But listen, the wise warrior wins the battle before it's even begun. So just enjoy it first and then just go for it.

• 1:44:35Speaker 03

  The Jaco of cocksucking.

• 1:44:38Stavros Halkias?

  All right, Eldon, you got something fun for us to go out on here?

• 1:44:42Speaker 12

  Hey, Stav, not a question, but rather a comment on the continuing unfolding nature of breast reductions and our opinions about them in society.

• 1:44:53Speaker 04

  Bleed that out.

• 1:44:53Speaker 12

  Stav, I was totally on your side. I was like, why would anyone slap God in the face by reducing the size of their breasts? However, last night I got with a girl. Before she, before we start getting our clothes off, she tells me she got the breast reduction. I gasped. Like, no. But then takes her bra off. Stav, I gotta say, they were fucking nice. They were really nice. Titties don't need to be that crazy big. I mean, what do you need at most? Like a handful, handful and a half? Did I get that little bit of cushion there, you know?

• 1:45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Do I come into your house and disrespect you?

• 1:45:31Speaker 03

  And then you had to go too fucking far.

• 1:45:33Stavros Halkias?

  Do I come into your house and tell you your god's not real? Call your, call who you prayed to a false prophet?

• 1:45:42Stavros Halkias?

  Don't fucking tell me how much titties I need. Don't tell me how many handfuls of tits I need, motherfucker. And by the way, I love titties of all shapes and sizes. I'm just saying, you know, look, I've, I will say I'm less, I'm less of a hard line. No, this is kinda like, you know, I'm evolving.

• 1:46:02Speaker 04

  You're not fully anti-choice on this matter.

• 1:46:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly. It's kinda like how.

• 1:46:06Speaker 03

  Your body stops choice.

• 1:46:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda like how even some conservative, you know, pro-lifers would be like, alright, incest and rape, we can talk about it, right?

• 1:46:18Speaker 03

  Final video.

• 1:46:19Stavros Halkias?

  You show me a fucked up MRI of your back, you fucking, alright, we can start talking, okay? But don't you fucking tell me how many types of tits, how big a titty I need, or like. And like I said, I like all, I like a fat ass titty, I like a little ass titty. They just gotta be nice titties, but, you know, let's, let's not get science involved where we don't need it. That's all I'm saying.

• 1:46:42Speaker 03

  Ron White with that joke, you know, the old lady's titty.

• 1:46:44Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember that one.

• 1:46:45Speaker 03

  She's like, "Do you wanna see it?" And he's like, "Yeah!", and she plopped it out.

• 1:46:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:49Speaker 03

  And she just rolled it back. All titties are good titties, man. Don't blaspheme right there.

• 1:46:56Stavros Halkias?

  But I will, but I will say, you know, I'd love to know a little more about this woman's situation, I'd love to get specifics, but, you know, don't try and come out here blanket. You see one pair of nice, reduced titties, and you're gonna fucking tell me to change my whole worldview, you fucking piece of shit? And by the way, I've seen some nice, reduced titties as well. I'm not a guy, you know, I'm not saying once you have a reduction, you're a pariah whose tits can't get sucked on anymore. I'm just saying, let's, before we do anything hasty, let's really think, is this medically necessary? That's all. You got me pissed off now, Elvis.

• 1:47:31Speaker 03

  This is all worked up.

• 1:47:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'm fucking worked up.

• 1:47:32Speaker 03

  I knew a girl who had to get the reduction in high school.

• 1:47:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:47:36Speaker 03

  She was a little, little thing, and she had messed up knees, like she had.

• 1:47:40Stavros Halkias?

  Knees?

• 1:47:41Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I'm, I'm sorry. So she had surgery on both knees from something else.

• 1:47:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:47:47Speaker 03

  And as she got older and bigger in the chest, her back started messing up, and her knees with it. Like, so she had.

• 1:47:55Speaker 03

  You know, it's really fucked up. I just remembered this. It was junior high and she had literally just had surgery and I didn't know. And I, I remember we were going to the bus and I went over and I was like, hey, I did that. And I did the complete worst thing a fat guy in love with a girl could do. And I ruined, like messed up her leg and like all of like for the rest of my life, I was known as the fat guy that destroyed it.

• 1:48:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, dude.

• 1:48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was bad, but her, she, she uh got the reduction and it was phenomenal.

• 1:48:26Stavros Halkias?

  Nice. Good, well, good for, look, we're, we're, we're not against open debate on this forum. Okay. So we'll hear your opposing case. If a woman lives in a fifth floor walk up, sure, I'll get the reduction. Yeah. She's killing herself. And, and, but I want to see, you know.

• 1:48:41Speaker 03

  Paperwork.

• 1:48:41Stavros Halkias?

  See six months of you going to open houses and seeing apartments.

• 1:48:46Speaker 03

  Some Pilates.

• 1:48:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:47Speaker 03

  Are you trying to naturally bolster?

• 1:48:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but again, before, yeah, we just need to, you need to see a doctor.

• 1:48:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:54Stavros Halkias?

  This is my most conservative, this is how, yeah, this is my most conservative take. You need to go to fucking, you have a therapist. You have to make sure you want to make your tits smaller.

• 1:49:03Speaker 03

  I prayed.

• 1:49:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Hands off my titties.

• 1:49:07Stavros Halkias?

  God bless everyone. God bless all the titties out there. And uh, thank you for listening, everybody. Rob, my man, thanks for coming. This was so great. You were so funny. Uh, and we will, JP, of course, thank you for being Ed McMahon. And uh. Big strong guy advice just counts for more. Yeah. It does. Yeah, you're gonna listen to a guy who could fucking crush your skull with his hands.

• 1:49:32Speaker 03

  But I wouldn't.

• 1:49:33Stavros Halkias?

  But he wouldn't. But he could. Thanks, guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye bye.

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