437 The Keys to Successful Relationships (And Maintaining Them)

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 437, The Keys to Successful Relationships and Maintaining Them.

• 0:09Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:34Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. It is a special episode because it is the four-year anniversary of the School of Greatness Podcast. Yes, can you believe that we've actually been here for four years together? Now, some of you who have been here from the very beginning, I want to thank you and acknowledge you and say how much it means to me that you're willing to show up and listen every single week to me and to the guests that I've had on here and to the evolution of my journey as an interviewer and as a podcast host. It means the world to me. So, thank you so much for spending your time, your energy, and for showing up.

• 1:16Lewis Howes?

  It kind of blows me away that, you know, I had this idea over four years ago to interview some of my influential friends and share their insights with with all of you. And starting with zero followers and zero listeners to now 28 million downloads as of now, 437 episodes, we're doing three episodes a week. We started with one a week, then two, then three, then we added video and it's really grown. All over the world. You know, again, it started with one episode, which now we have a New York Times bestselling book. That's been all over the world. We have the podcast itself, the YouTube channel.

• 2:01Lewis Howes?

  We've got the School of Greatness Academy, which has evolved into the Summit of Greatness, which is now an annual event to bring all of our members together. To support people, to create deeper, more meaningful relationships, and to just have an incredible time together. So, so many things have evolved from just a simple, small idea, and it's been four years. And it kind of blows my mind because one thing is, it doesn't matter how simple or big your idea is. Once you launch something, it's amazing what you can create over a few years. You know, when I think about it, four years is a long time, but it's also pretty quick to do what we've done.

• 2:41Lewis Howes?

  And to accelerate this podcast to getting over 1.3 million downloads a month and to launching a book in that time, that's a New York Times bestseller and a big annual event, all these things that we've done. You know, it happened pretty quickly as well. And I know a lot of people who've been listening, who are still holding back on putting something out there. Because they're not sure they're ready, they don't have the tools, they don't feel like they have the relationships. And when I started, I used to record just on my iPhone. I didn't have anything figured out, but I learned and I got feedback along the way. So, happy birthday, uh, year four for the School of Greatness podcast. And really, I look at this as our podcast.

• 3:23Lewis Howes?

  Because we've been building this and creating this together. You guys tell me what you want, and then I go out there and, and try to make it happen to the best of my ability. So. Happy birthday to us, for the community we're building, for the experiences, the insights, the lessons, the people we're learning from. And I'm just so proud of what our team is creating. Thanks to Tiff, to Christine, to everyone who's a big part of the podcast and making it what it is today. Feel free to share this one out, guys. This is a big episode, episode 437. So, LewisHowes.com/437 to get all the show notes. We've got a, a great free guide we're gonna give to you at the end. Which I'll talk about here in a minute in the middle of this interview. This is all about the keys to successful relationships and maintaining them.

• 4:08Lewis Howes?

  And what a perfect fit for the four year anniversary because the key to success in life is relationships. Without them, you cannot be successful. You're going to be alone, you're going to be very challenged at making your dreams come true or getting to the next step in your life. If you try to do anything on your own and it's about who you connect with, who knows you? And how you build those relationships and maintain them. So this episode is all about maintaining them because the previous solo round, we talked about how to make and build powerful relationships with influencers. And now this is about how to maintain them. So I appreciate you guys so very much.

• 4:49Lewis Howes?

  It means the world that you're here and let's go ahead and dive into this episode on the keys to successful relationships and maintaining them.

• 5:01Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to this episode on the keys to successful relationships and how to maintain them. I'm very excited about this, the last solo round in episode four, three, four. We talked about how to make powerful relationships with influencers. Now, once you've made them and go ahead to watch this video from previously, you can click up here to watch the previous video. But once you make them, how do you maintain them? How do you keep them over time so that these influencers are on top of mind for you and you for them? And how do you navigate them? Once you create hundreds of relationships, if you're going to networking events or you've been building these relationships over years. How do you navigate them all and manage it?

• 5:46Lewis Howes?

  That's what we're covering today in this episode. All right. So there's nine keys to maintaining these successful relationships. And point number one is to create a list. It's very simple. Create a list and think about who are all the most influential people that I want to maintain these relationships with. Create a list of the top 20 people to start. The most important 20 people in your business or your. Whatever this need is for, create that list of those top 20. That's the key is to really evaluate who are these top relationships? What areas of my life are they important in? And then writing them down so you can see them as opposed to just constantly being like in your head. Oh, I need to connect with that person and that person. No, you have a list. That's number one.

• 6:31Lewis Howes?

  Number two, make sure you're showing up to their events. You're adding positive energy and you're making these influencers look good whenever you're around them. So a lot of these high level influencers will have a book tour or they'll do a one off events, whatever it may be. And when you're invited, you want to really make sure you show up. You're positive, you add value to the event and you make them look good. An example, Ray Lewis, who I had on the podcast recently. If you haven't listened to it or watched it, make sure to click on the link below to watch it. He had a small little gathering here in Los Angeles recently and he invited me to come. Now I went and I was adding value. I was connecting with all the attendees there. I was talking about how amazing Ray is, what we're up to, what I'm going to help him with, all these other things.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  And I was adding value to the event. I wasn't just taking or being negative or being weird. I was adding value and right afterwards, he was like, hey, man, thanks for coming. Let's connect and do more stuff in the future. So think about who are the influencers you're connecting with and how can you make them look good by showing up for their events? The third thing, it's always being the champion of their network. Be the connector, find people in your network who you know can connect to them and offer value. Another buddy of mine is launching a vegan company, a vegan brand. And I reached out to him and said, huh, what is the thing you need the most right now? Now, this is a guy who's raised a couple hundred million dollars, who's taken many companies public.

• 8:00Lewis Howes?

  And I said, how can I offer value to you? So I made connections to four different individuals, many of them who invested in his company. So just by being the connector and adding value and finding the connecting points of who can support them as well, that's a big thing. So be the connector. That's point number three. Number four, it's important you've got to be yourself. Now, this may sound and seem self-explanatory, and it is because it is. But a lot of people that I've been around, when they see an influencer, they start to act a different way. They start to be someone they're not. And that's going to get exhausting for you and exhausting for the influencer you're maintaining the relationship with.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  So really be aware now, maybe you're nervous sometimes and that's fine, but do the best you can to be yourself. Be positive, add value, but don't try to do something you normally wouldn't do because it's not going to look well. And it's not going to be good for you. Point number five, share your insights and information that's going to add value to them. So a lot of the times when I'm connecting with influencers and I know they're trying to do something online. They're trying to create more videos, they're trying to launch a podcast, they want to launch a book. I find the things that they are trying to do that I've already done. And once I find out what they're trying to do and what they're trying to accomplish or launch. And what I've already done in that process, then I'll send them everything I know.

• 9:29Lewis Howes?

  So if they're launching a podcast, I'll give them a document that shows them the step-by-step process of how to do this. I'll give them my equipment, I'll get on a call with them and tell them the ins and outs. If they're trying to launch a book, I'll give them my entire launch plan on how to hit the New York Times bestseller list. I'll break it down for them, I'll get on a call with them, talk to their team, whatever I can to pass insights and information their way. I'll constantly think about how I can do that. Number six, invite them to things you know that they would enjoy or that could support their platform. So I've got an annual conference called the Summit of Greatness. You can click on the link right there to check it out or go to summitofgreatness.com.

• 10:11Lewis Howes?

  And I'm thinking of ways to build an audience for these influencers, to put these influencers in front of an audience to promote their book. Or just give them experience with a great audience with a video I'll give them afterwards. All these things I can do. So I'm looking for opportunities to put them in front of events, to find other deal flow for them, whatever I can to add value and build their brand as well. Point number seven, send a text or reach out on random occasions without asking for anything in return. Now, I am constantly texting or FaceTiming influencers and just friends in general randomly.

• 10:53Lewis Howes?

  And I'm just saying, "Hey, just wanted to check in with you. I've got no agenda, but just wanted to say hi." And I always find the responses to be like confused because they're like, huh. They're so used to people reaching out and asking for something that when someone just reaches out and says, "Hey, man, how are you?" Or, "Hey, how are you doing today? And I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to check in and see how the kids are, this and that." No agenda, just wanted to say hi. They find it very refreshing. So don't always have an agenda. Don't always try to make it about you. Make it about them and send frequent hellos and texts. Point number eight, make sure you're constantly asking how you can support them and what their biggest needs are. So every six months, they may have a new need. They may have a new vision. They may have a new project they're coming out with.

• 11:35Lewis Howes?

  So reach out on occasion and say, "Hey, what's something I can support you with? Is there anything I can do to help?" This is going to add value. It's going to keep you on top of mind awareness for these influencers as well. And it's going to set you up for success. And point number nine is be a promoter of these influencers. Whenever I see people who are writing great articles or have a book or a product or something that I appreciate what they're doing, I'll tweet it out. I'll post it on Facebook. I'll make a mention on Instagram stories or Snapchat. I'll do whatever I can to reshare the stuff that's important to them. I think it's important. You want to be a promoter of individuals. You want to let them know, "Hey, I see what you're doing. I think it's cool. I want to share it with my audience as well and help you out as much as you can."

• 12:20Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't have to be this huge involvement all the time, but it can be just quick little promotion reminders that you're here to support and you're there for them. So these are the nine points for how to maintain successful relationships. And really how to make sure that when you reach out to them and you start to make the relationship, that you're able to sustain it over time as opposed to allowing it to fall through the cracks. You put all this energy into making the relationship, now you've got to make sure you maintain it. So make sure to go through. Through these nine points again, leave a comment below as well of what the most important point is for you and what you find most helpful. I'd love to hear which one is most important

• 12:58Lewis Howes?

  for you. It's also at the show notes at lewishouse.com/437. So leave a comment there as well. Like this video if you're on the YouTube channel right now and subscribe if it's your first time here on the channel, or if you're not a subscriber yet. And also, I've got something free for you today. I'm gonna give you something really powerful, a cool tool that we just made for you. And that is my Relationship Management Spreadsheet. That's right. If you have a lot of influencers, you've got all these connections already, or you're starting the process of building relationships with influencers, you've gotta learn how to manage them. And as opposed to just what I do a lot of the times, or have in the past, is just kind of thinking of the people all the time and keeping it all

• 13:40Lewis Howes?

  in my head, it's better to have it written down. So it's organized, there's a process, and you can really know how to keep track of all the people that you're in contact with and who are important in your life. So on this video, there'll be a link right here where you can click to download our High Level Influencer Relationship Management Spreadsheet. Or you can go to the show notes at lewishouse.com/437, and we'll have it right there in the show notes. Just click, you download it, and away you go. So let me know if you find that to be helpful. Download it, and again, leave a comment below on the

• 14:19Lewis Howes?

  YouTube channel, or at lewishouse.com/437, and start building and maintaining powerful relationships right now. Also, next week on the podcast, we've got a powerful interview with Jordan Harbinger. So if you're interested in really understanding the science of social dynamics, social influence, how to build even more confidence when you're around these influencers, and how to build the most powerful relationships of all, then make sure to be a subscriber of the podcast over on iTunes, or Stitcher, or SoundCloud, or anywhere that you listen to this. Subscribe to the YouTube channel as well to get notified of when this interview comes out. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Until next time, you know what time it is.

• 15:02Lewis Howes?

  It's time to go out there and do something great.