Anna Akana: ON How To Trust Yourself More & The Importance Of Using Your Voice To Help Others

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Anna Akana. Anna is an American actress, filmmaker, musician, author, and comedian. She is most known for her massive presence on YouTube. Anna’s experience losing her 13-year-old sister to suicide when she 17 taught her that ultimately age is a gift that comes with wisdom. She's destigmatizing the way we feel about mental health issues & reminding us that we are not alone and your voice matters to at-least one person. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:30Jay Shetty?

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• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 2:59Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  We live in a very competitive environment. Now that we have social media, you're constantly looking at everyone's highlight reels and you feel unworthy and insecure and insignificant. If someone has a success, like they can't take that away from me. You know, I'm not taking that away from them. And the mantra that I have actually up in my bathroom is what is mine will find me. And it is true. It's like if something is meant to be yours, it's going to find you. If someone has success, that was always meant to be theirs.

• 3:40Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for coming back. I am so excited to introduce you to my next guest. Today's guest can be seen on Comedy Central's Corporate. She stars in the film Go Back to China, which premieres in the narrative competition at 2019 South by Southwest Film Festival. She's the lead and executive producer of YouTube's Red: Youth and Consequence and can be seen in Marvel's Ant-Man, Netflix's You Get Me, and Freeform's Stitches. She's most known for her online weekly show with 2.5 million subscribers and has sold out two North American tours as a stand-up comic playing comedy songs on her guitar. And what I personally really love about today's guest is that she's super honest, super

• 4:23Jay Shetty?

  vulnerable, and has this incredible straight-talking approach, which is endearing, hilarious, and I'm such a huge fan of. Her name is Anna Akana. Let's please welcome her to the show. Anna, thank you for being here.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Thank you so much for having me, Jay.

• 4:37Jay Shetty?

  I'm genuinely so grateful because I've literally been a fan and a follower from a distance for so long.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yay.

• 4:43Jay Shetty?

  And then I remember being backstage with you at the Streamies where we first met last year and you just won and I won just after you, I think. So congratulations. And I was like, oh, my God, it's Anna. How do I, what do I say? I was like, I was like, what do I say? And then I was just like, hey, I love your videos.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yay.

• 5:00Jay Shetty?

  So I'm excited for this to deepen our friendship and to get to know each other better.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Same. I'm a big fan of what you do and the message you put out in the world. And obviously, we're very aligned on a lot of the things we like to dive into. So I'm like, yes, this is exactly the stuff I like to talk about.

• 5:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, brilliant. And I love it. And it's amazing because I'm going to start here because it is the day that I first met you. You chose that day to come out.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Yes, I did.

• 5:23Jay Shetty?

  To and around the same time to your friends and your family, to the online community onstage, you know, and you spoke very, very deeply about it too at the same time. What was that experience like?

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I don't remember. I just sort of blacked it out. I wasn't expecting to come out. It's only something that I'd recently sort of actually accepted and grappled with. And I don't know, like, I have this weird continuing thing where I get onto a stage and I don't know what I'm going to say. And I sort of like just live in the moment and later don't remember what I said at all. And my friends are always like, that was great. Like, did you plan that? Did you practice that? And I'm like, no, I don't know what I said. I'm gonna walk to the internet later to figure out what it was. But yeah, it felt like a really good time to just say something meaningful if you have the opportunity to be in front of a lot of eyeballs.

• 6:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And I thought you did that. You used the platform to talk about a really important message.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:12Jay Shetty?

  And what I loved afterwards is the video you did with your parents.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:15Jay Shetty?

  I thought that was so brave and bold. I was like, oh, my God. How did that feel talking to your parents about it?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  It was great. You know, my parents used to be so like typical Asian parents, very strict, very uptight, wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer. And after my sister died, they've sort of like loosened up and really understood like, oh, we're all gonna die. None of this actually really matters. We need to just live in love for our kids. And so they've been so great ever since, you know, understandably going through their grief and we had a hard time. But now they're just very accepting, very loving and have chilled out tremendously.

• 6:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I definitely wanted to come on to that later as well. And thank you for sharing it. And just for everyone who's watching or listening right now, this is how amazing Anna is. I said, how do we make this really meaningful for you? What do we talk about? And she goes, I want to talk about death. I want to talk about mental health. And I love that about you, that you're just so. You're so straightforward about what you want to talk about and then you're able to make it hilarious.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 7:06Jay Shetty?

  You're one of the few people who can do that really well.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 7:08Jay Shetty?

  And I really commend you and respect you for taking it so head on.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Appreciate it.

• 7:12Jay Shetty?

  So I've got a long list of questions that I want to ask you today.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:15Jay Shetty?

  Feel free to ask me more. I'm sure it's going to evolve into a conversation, but I love asking specific questions because there's stuff about you that blows my mind. So one of the first things I wanted to talk to you about was regarding what we were talking about, about coming out.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:29Jay Shetty?

  What's your advice for other young people who are exploring their sexuality, who are learning about themselves? In a climate that both is supportive and sometimes totally the opposite. Like, it's like a weird time right now. It's like, some part of it's like, it's everywhere and then it's like, oh, well, no. You know, so how would you advise them and guide them?

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I only have my one experience, but so I, I am, you know, I used to think that bisexuality or homosexuality was like a pie chart and you either had to be the entire pie chart or a straight half and half. And so I always classified myself as not bisexual because I've only liked maybe a handful of girls in my entire life and I'm mostly attracted to men. And I had a friend very early on in my teen years tell me like, I wasn't actually queer, I just wanted to be interesting. And it was like a cool thing to try to be interesting. And I'd had a lot of sort of like aggressive lesbians in my circle who were very discouraging of bisexuality and saw it almost as straight girls trying to like cheat their way into being interesting,

• 8:30Speaker 01

  like playing into the, the male gaze and the male fantasy. And so for me, I always internalized that as like, oh, they're right. Like, I'm just doing this to sort of be cool. Like, I'm not actually bisexual because if I am, I have to be, you know, half women, half men. It's cut and dry. It's black and white. And that's, now we know that's not true. And it's also, sexuality is incredibly fluid. A lot of my friends who are bisexual are like, sometimes I'm more attracted to men than I am women. Sometimes I'm more attracted to women than I am men. Honestly, if we expect to change as people all the time, why wouldn't our sexuality change with us? And so I think now it's like, don't get hung up on labels is something that really helped me. Not, not having to define myself in this one little box and take this one definition of it and just like fall in love with who you fall in love with.

• 9:14Jay Shetty?

  That's such a refreshing approach. I'm sure everyone who's listening to that and is in that stage of exploring it for themselves. Just finds that so much more like liberating.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:24Jay Shetty?

  It's like a weight off your shoulder, like you don't have to like tick a box.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:27Jay Shetty?

  And it's like, that's kind of how I guess we've always been like male or female, like, you know, on on forms and papers that we all have to fill out.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you have these ideas in your head of what that's supposed to mean and what that looks like based on the media you consume. And it's like, it's so much more complicated than that.

• 9:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And you're playing, one thing I find fascinating about you and I, and I, we shared your intro earlier, which is unbelievable what you've achieved, by the way, it's incredible, like it's, and it's so fun to watch for me, but you know, you're acting, you're, you're, you're super artistic, you're a comedian, like, were you always this talented? Like, there's like a million things that.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I don't know, I think I just get bored, honestly. Like, if I do the same thing for too long, I'm like, this isn't challenging, I want to try something else. And so something that I've always just really found natural is to sort of rotate through art forms to like tell different stories on different platforms. So I don't know, I think I just really like doing that.

• 10:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well, you do it well.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 10:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. When I, when I then found out that it was you and Ant-Man and that moment, I was like, oh, my God, yeah, it's Anna. But it was just, yeah, I think you do them all really well, though. I think that's has to be said, like, there's getting bored.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 10:29Jay Shetty?

  But then there's your ability to actually get great at it. Like, where's that coming from? Like, because I get the part about, okay, I'm bored, I need a new challenge. But how do you actually get good at that new challenge?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  I think, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't really analyzed that part of it. I think for me, it always comes down to just like, what do I want to say? And how do I say that in the best way possible?

• 10:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, cool.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:51Jay Shetty?

  I want you to analyze it more and come back.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  I will, I will. Yeah, now that you've posed the question, I'm like, hmm, I love introspection.

• 10:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I'd love for you to do that, because I do think that everything that you're working on, it's, it is, I get that boredom piece, though. And I, and I know you're a fan of flow state too.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:09Jay Shetty?

  Right? And so when I hear you talk about that, I'm like, for anyone who doesn't know what flow state is, it's when your challenge matches your skill. And so if your challenge is lower than your skill, then you get bored. And if your skill is lower than your challenge, then you get frustrated. So you're always doing both.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:24Jay Shetty?

  So you've, you've figured that out?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  You know, you just got to keep doing it.

• 11:28Jay Shetty?

  It sounds like, I just learned this now, just outside when we were talking, that you've actually, in one sense, in my opinion, because I've never really moved around as a young person, in one sense, had a challenging life of moving around the law.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:40Jay Shetty?

  But you seem to have loved it. Tell us a bit about that.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  So by the time I was six, I'd lived in over thirteen states. Uh, my dad was a naval officer, or I'm sorry, a Marine Corps officer, a hurrah. Um, and he would fix jets, so he was like an engineer for jets. Um, and he was very much in demand, so every six months to two years, we would move to a new place. And I loved it because I was like, oh, we're moving to this new place where no one knows me. I can try on this facet of my personality and see if I like being this person more or that person more. And there's a very high correlation between military kids and entertainment. Because you're so used to the turnaround, like the entertainment environment is sort of what you thrive in. Because you're so used to like this almost summer camp feel of I get really close to these people for six months. And then I go away forever until the next production.

• 12:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Um, and so I always found it incredibly challenging and fun to be stimulated by different cultures and different environments and different people constantly. And I found it very fascinating to move to California because most of my life, I was either, thought I was white as a child because I grew up around all white people and had no idea. Or I was in Asian countries and white people were the minority and would get bullied. So coming to California and experiencing like racism for the first time, I was like, oh my God, this is so novel. Like, oh, this is so cool. Um, so yeah, I feel like a lot of my life, I've just been like very used to change.

• 12:57Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. That must mean, that's such a beautiful quality to have.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:00Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like, as in, we always talk about that, like, change is probably one of the hardest things for most people. But the fact that you had it ingrained into you, and you were always positive about it from day one. There was never a moment where you were like, oh, this is gonna take some time or I'm gonna miss this friend that I just made.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  I'll miss friends for sure, but then you, you kind of get used to the idea that like, oh, there's always something new to explore or experience. And then you start to look forward to it because you also have no choice.

• 13:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. Yeah, exactly. That's so nice as well, just getting to that point of recognizing, actually, I have no choice.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:30Jay Shetty?

  And life's kind of like that.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:31Jay Shetty?

  Sometimes, where you're like, yeah, I don't actually have a choice. I've got to adapt, I've got to move on.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, all you have is your mindset about whatever's going on.

• 13:37Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. And what's really led to that? Like, what has helped you create the mindset that you have right now? I, so for anyone who's watching or listening, as soon as- Anna came through the door today. She just brought this like beautiful burst of energy.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks.

• 13:50Jay Shetty?

  Like, like, I was just, I was happier straight away. I was happier. I was, I was brighter. I was just like, I'm so looking forward to this. And, you know, so you have that. Where's, where's that coming from? And, and how have you worked on that?

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say it's been like going through so much dark shit. Can I swear on this?

• 14:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sure.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. Um, like going through death at such an early age and a mortality crisis at such an early age has made me realize like, oh, nothing is as bad as this, you know, it gives you a new reference level for just how bad things can get. And so, I mean, sometimes I still get frustrated if my printer doesn't work, you know, and you like scream and cry. But I, I think ultimately I've come to realize like, age is, is a gift. And I know in LA, you know, we value youth and society values youth and like, and all that. But I don't know. I think age comes with such a beautiful wisdom. And life is, is so long that we lose track of just how short it is.

• 14:45Jay Shetty?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Um, that I've really been able to sort of cultivate, even like when bad things happen. I'm like, well, how can I turn this into the best thing that's ever happened to me? And I'll like physically write out. Like when I went through my really bad breakup last year, I was like, okay, how am I gonna make this like serve me in the highest way possible? And I literally made a list. Like a full two-page list of everything I was gonna do so that I would come out at the other side being so grateful that it had happened.

• 15:08Jay Shetty?

  What were some of those things on that list, if you don't mind?

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna write a movie. I'm gonna like rediscover my spirituality because I'd been really disconnected from that for a while. I was like, I'm gonna start a crystal collection. Um, I'm gonna remodel and like redecorate my entire house. I'm gonna like paint a lot. I'm gonna do animated poetry. So I just like, yeah. It was like, anything I can do to be grateful for this, let me put it in there.

• 15:30Jay Shetty?

  Wow. And you've done a lot of that?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  I've done all of it.

• 15:32Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow. That is amazing. And I saw you at the start of this year, I think it was, coming up with your vision board?

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:37Jay Shetty?

  You were posting stories and I was loving it. I was like, this is so cool. Tell me about that process.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  I love vision boarding, highly, highly recommend it for anyone. It's just a macro view of what you want your year to be and put it somewhere where you're gonna see it every day. Because for me, it's like I've been vision boarding every single year of my life. And it's the reason I am able to achieve so much because you're constantly reminded of your long-term goals. And that way, every day you're executing whatever little action you need to take to get there. I think a lot of us get consumed with the idea of like, oh, well, I want to do this huge thing and that's overwhelming. And it's like, no, all it takes is 10 minutes a day, every day, and then you spend, you know, however many hours upon hours that year, getting closer and closer to something that understandably takes a long time to achieve.

• 16:21Jay Shetty?

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• 17:06Jay Shetty?

  Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 17:14Jay Shetty?

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• 18:00Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Who was the first person that introduced you to this whole process of self-development,

• 18:45Jay Shetty?

  personal growth, spirituality?

• 18:48Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think I was Buddhist for a time. Like, yeah, as a teenager after my sister died. I like very deep dived into religious studies to kind of be like, is there an answer? Does anybody know? I don't like the idea of detachment in Buddhism as much, because I feel like, I understand what the principle is, but I feel like for me detachment just holds such a different connotation. But yeah, I think it was ultimately Buddhism.

• 19:10Jay Shetty?

  Wow, okay. And that was part of your upbringing and...

• 19:13Speaker 01

  No, Buddhism was not part of my upbringing. My parents were Christian.

• 19:17Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow. Incredible. So you came across it yourself?

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah.

• 19:20Jay Shetty?

  Oh, unbelievable. I didn't know that.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Oh, cool. Let's talk, let's talk about it. You've mentioned it a couple of times, and for the audience who doesn't have the background, and I'd love for you to share it. When I, when I read about this and I looked at the letters in your book, et cetera, so you lost your sister when she was 13 years old to suicide. I mean, like, I'm just gonna send loads of love, prayers to your family, to her in this moment right now. And it's, I mean, I don't know what that feels like. I've never experienced that. I, I hope everyone listening doesn't have to, but we naturally know that it happens.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:52Jay Shetty?

  Like, tell me where you start when that happens.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Wow. I mean, it was, it was just such a shock.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  At the time, so like I was seventeen and she'd gone into a fight with every single person in my family and talked to me last. So I was the last person who saw her alive and we fought and I was like, I hate you, get the fuck out of my room. And she like knocked a bunch of my shit over and like slammed the door and it was Valentine's Day. So I like took a boyfriend out to like the park and we were having a picnic and like talking about life. And all of a sudden I was just like, I need to go home. And he was like, why? And I was like, there's something really wrong at home. I need to be home right now. And so we went back to the house and there were paramedics and police officers and like a fire truck in front of our house.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  And I would just remember very like crystal clearly seeing her being loaded from a stretcher by two paramedics who were laughing about some joke that that they'd told to each other and there was an oxygen mask over her mouth, though she'd been dead for twenty minutes. And you know, it's it's such a surreal feeling where you're like, oh, I don't feel like I'm here. Cause then you know, you're shuttled into a car and you're driven to the hospital and you're waiting in this weird like pastel pink room with like flowers and happy faces everywhere. And then you know, the moment the doctor comes in that it's bad because they won't look at you and they just sit down in front of you. And they're like, oh, we we couldn't save her, but you can go say goodbye to the body now.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  And there's a woman whose job it is to hug you, just this strange woman in death rooms who will hug you to try to stimulate oxytocin in your body. Um, cause if you hold someone for six seconds, you get like a big burst of of that. And it's just, it was so weird cause then you're like, oh, and now we we plan a funeral and where do, what do we do with the body? And like, do we have to buy a burial plot and like, how like, okay, we could, but we can't go to school tomorrow. Like, do we have to like notify the people? Where do you like, how are we gonna go on for the rest of our lives? Dealing with that so young, like this very permanent decision that someone had made without any concept of how long life is, was just such a trip for me. I was like, oh,

• 22:04Speaker 01

  I never get to say I'm sorry. I never get to like, grow up with her. Like, she's stuck forever at thirteen. And I, I think knowing, knowing that has shaped pretty much my entire life, my entire life from that point. It's, it's very much like a before and after catalyst. And it took me probably about four or five years to even go to therapy for it and to realize like the actual lasting effect. Because for a long time, I was just very much in denial. I did a lot of drugs. I drank all the time. I dropped out of college. I worked a dead end job. Like, I just had no direction whatsoever in life. And it was just so depressing that I was like, okay, well, I can't, I'm like, what, I was like twenty at the time. I was like, I can't, what am I going to spend the rest of my life, like, feeling like a

• 22:49Speaker 01

  victim? And that this isn't fair and life shouldn't be this way? And so I really was like, okay, like this, maybe this is my purpose now, is to like, help people not get to this point where, you know, they feel so lonely and so upset that they do kill themselves. And suicide is the highest, uh, second highest cause of death in teens, second highest. It was like third highest a couple of years ago, and it, it jumped. Um, which is just so sad. Because as you know, and I know, now that we're older, it's like, oh, no, life goes on. Like, whatever you were upset about at thirteen, you laugh about now. Like, it seems ridiculous. Um, and so, yeah, it's just kind of become my main, my, just my main thing in life of like, if I can just help one kid not do that, then at least I

• 23:30Speaker 01

  also feel like a little bit of a, you know, redemption punch in my punch card of guilt free zone.

• 23:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, definitely. Thank you for sharing that. Like, I know you have before, but still, like, I appreciate it. And I, I can't imagine.

• 23:46Jay Shetty?

  You know, with with your approach to dealing with it as well, it's like that feeling of like that regret or like, I wish I didn't say that, the last thing I said to that person. Or like, I wish I could have said this, I could have said that. And that's what obviously led to your book.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:58Jay Shetty?

  Right, where you wrote those letters back. What's your advice to someone who who has lost someone?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Well, I did one group therapy session and there was a man there, he was like in his fifties and he'd lost his mother to suicide when he was five. And he was like, you know, everyone says that time heals everything and that you're gonna move on and you're gonna be fine. And he's like, the truth is, you never get over it. You never fully move on. And he was like, I'm fifty years old. I've been dealing with this for forty five years, you know? And he was like, every day I still think about my mom and, you know, why she left me. And I think that was the best advice someone gave to me because there is this feeling of when you move on, like, you're like, oh, is this a bad thing for me to do? Like, you don't wanna forget that person, you know, they were important to you. You loved them so much.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  And but you also don't wanna be stuck in paralyzing grief. And so I think that advice helped me realize like, oh, yeah, I'm just gonna carry her with me forever. And it's sort of a roller coaster of days I feel close to her and days I feel like very distant from it. And that has given me a lot of, I don't know, like a lot of relief and a lot of comfort that no matter where I am in relation to her, it's okay, it's just part of it.

• 25:06Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, not judging it and being like, oh, it's been three years and I have to have moved on or like that kind of pressure that's sometimes there either way.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 25:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Anyway, yeah. And and in terms of like someone who's, someone who's listening and watching and like, and I'm sure, and I wanna get on to this, but in terms of people who are listening and watching right now and have contemplated suicide, or people are listening and watching and have thought about it or planned it. What what's your take to them? Because I know you've shared insights and approaches before.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  I think it's really normal. And I feel like it's unfortunate because we act like it's not normal.

• 25:40Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  And I think, I think it's two or three times in your life, if you feel like you're really suicidal, that's a normal thing. Um, and we as a society really shy away from that. We don't know how to deal with it. We don't want to deal with someone else's discomfort on that level. We don't have the tools or the or feel equipped to handle that in any way. And I wish there was more education on that, like from a younger level, from our parents, from our friends, because I've had Maybe about two moments in my entire life where I've had a plan and I've been like, I wanna kill myself. And in talking to a few of my friends about it, they actually made things worse. Cause they didn't know, all I needed was the validation that like, hey, you're loved. I want you to stay here. Like, it's okay for you to feel this way. I'm here for you. Let's do this. And instead, you know,

• 26:23Speaker 01

  friends would understandably, like internally freak out and not know how to deal with it and be like, you're stressing me out. Like, I don't wanna deal with this. Like, go, go talk to a therapist or something. And so I feel like if you are struggling with it, just knowing that it's normal. And like to seek help from people who are hopefully qualified to help you and/or to confide in someone who you feel like has a, has the tools to deal with your emotions.

• 26:46Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. I love how you're normalizing it.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:48Jay Shetty?

  That's, that's, I've, I've, I've not had many people say that before at all. And I think that that's a really unique approach.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:54Jay Shetty?

  In just saying like, it's normal. You're going to think about it.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:57Jay Shetty?

  So don't overthink the fact that you're gonna think about it. Figure out, and I love that advice to people who are dealing with it too, of just letting people know that their presence matters.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:05Jay Shetty?

  Right? That they're loved, like something as simple as that.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause I feel like most often when you are feeling that way, you just don't feel like anyone loves you, not even yourself. And so it's like, you just need someone to reassure you that you're, they love you and they want you here. And you're like, okay. And that like, they're here with you to go through it. Like, that's all I ever want when I'm, when I'm at that place.

• 27:23Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. And that's what's helped you personally?

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:25Jay Shetty?

  Who have been those people in your life that have, that have kind of stood that for you?

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Uh, I've been in therapy for ten years. His name's Andrew. Um, he's awesome. He's also like this much older man. He's like in his, I think he's almost seventy now.

• 27:38Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he has such beautiful perspective on life. You know, and he'll tell me stories about when he was twenty or when he was thirty. And, and I'm like, oh, man, you've like lived it. You've like done it all. And he's been on antidepressants. His, his wife was suicidal at some point. And so with him, it was, I kind of realized like, oh yeah, it is really normal for like us all to go through this. And he'll often, I mean, without giving away confidentiality, he'll tell me about like his other patients who have had such and such experience and this and this experience. And you're like, yeah, okay, we're all going through it together. Like you, you don't have to feel like you're alone in this.

• 28:11Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. And I've also had that experience of There are some people who are like, oh, that could never be me.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 28:17Jay Shetty?

  Right? If you're listening to this right now or watching this right now in your head, your mind's tricking you and going, that could never be me. I could never be in that situation. It's it's good to let go of that thought because often you can find yourself. Like, I remember that when I used to say to myself, like, oh, I could never be depressed.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:31Jay Shetty?

  Like, it can never happen to me. And then when I experienced depression, I was like, oh, wow. You know, I was like, crap, you know, you know, and I mean, I didn't say that because it was a lot more painful. But it's interesting how sometimes the things you think are never gonna happen to you or you're stronger than that.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:45Jay Shetty?

  It's actually leads to it.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think resistance only makes you makes it like come back so much harder for you. So it's like, just let it be, just let it pass through you, breathe through it.

• 28:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Thank you for that very refreshing advice.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 28:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, amazing. No, really, it's really good to get your perspective on it because I feel like you just, when I when I view you and I listen to you, I'm just like, you've really like got the pieces of your life in place to support you.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 29:12Jay Shetty?

  And and I love seeing that, like, you know, you're like, I've been in therapy for ten years. Like, I've got my friends, I've got my work, you're like, there's parts of your life, it's almost like, and and the list that you made, you were like, this is what I'm gonna do this year to get over this, like, I I I'm fascinated by your mind.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Thank you, thanks, Jay.

• 29:26Jay Shetty?

  I wish we could just like, break it open and just look at it, which is which is the introspection part.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:32Jay Shetty?

  I love that. How much of you, how much of your creativity beyond your videos and your online show? Like, so into your movies and the work, how much have you brought your own perspectives? And how much have you been bringing into your roles and into your?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I I always feel like I'm insecure that like, oh, all I can write about is me or all the shows I make are just about my sister. Um, but, you know, I guise them in like sci fi or this funny high school thing. Um, but I think everything comes down to perspective, you know, that's what we buy into, that's what we love. Like, people love your perspective. You were like, I was a monk for three years. And like, I lived this lifestyle and this is like the knowledge and the perspective I have to offer the world. And as someone who's consuming them, like, yeah, like, I wanna know what you know as being a monk and being in this person. And for me, that that perspective has always been death and like suicide in particular. And what it feels like to be like, oh, I have failed. My literal job as an older sister was to take care of the younger ones and I have failed.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  Or at least, you know, me feeling that way. Um. So yeah, I would say perspective is just 100% in every role and every show that I have worked on ever since.

• 30:40Jay Shetty?

  And I'm sure your work has led to people messaging you saying that you've stopped them from committing suicide.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's always like the most meaningful.

• 30:47Jay Shetty?

  And I'm sure that people have messaged you and said, Anna, you got me through this tough time, or you helped me through a breakup or my divorce. Tell me about some of those and how that's helped you in your progress or your journey or your healing.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, seeing it on your phone or on the internet is kind of like, it's cool, but then you don't really understand the impact till someone says that to you in person. It's like the first time I ever realized like, oh, this does matter. I was at like the DMV renewing my license. And this 16 year old girl screamed from like across the DMV and started charging for me. And I was like, oh my God, like, is there, is there like a shooter here? Like, what's going on? And she just like came up to me and was like bawling and she was like, I was ready to kill myself last year. And I saw your video saying, you know, please don't. And she was like, and I vowed to myself, I would never put my sister through that. Or I would never put my parents through that. And she was just like shaking and crying. And I was like, oh my God.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  And she was like, I'm not exaggerating. You're the reason that I'm alive. Cause I was ready to like drink bleach or some scary horrible thing. And yeah, I mean, that validates my entire existence, honestly. I felt so grateful that like, oh my God, like you can put a message out there. You can be a voice. And it also made me wonder like, if YouTube was something my sister had watched, like, would she have killed herself? Like if she had Grace Helbig or Liza Koshy or someone that she connected to, so she didn't feel alone, like, could that have saved her life? And it's proven time and time again, and I'm sure as you meet people at conventions or I do, you're like, yeah, oh my God, like my words, my actions, they have power. And I have to wield that incredibly responsibly. Cause you can save a life with it. It's crazy.

• 32:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And whether that's one or a million, it matters, like on every level. Like whenever someone's like, oh my, my voice doesn't matter. It's like, well, actually everyone's voice will save at least one person. Or will connect with at least one person. And I think that's what, what we need is when we realize that. Our words, actions, thoughts, behaviors, energies is impacting even the immediate people around them.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, Mark Plyer, I was on, do you know Mark Plyer?

• 32:46Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, I don't know him personally, but anyways.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  He's a lovely man. He had this beautiful story. We were doing a mental health panel together. And he told this story about like this young kid was on the beach throwing like washed up starfish back into the ocean. And this old man was like, why are you doing this? Who care? Like you come out and you do this every day. Like who cares about this starfish? And he, and he like picks one up and throws it back in. He goes, that one cared. And you're like, oh, it's true. All it takes is like one, you know? And now I can't even like kill a bug without feeling. I was like looking at a gnat today and I was gonna kill it. And I was like, wait, just, does it really matter? It's just a small little living thing. Like, he can just live with you in this plant. It's fine. Uh, yeah.

• 33:28Jay Shetty?

  I, I can relate. I just got back from India. Anytime I'm in India, oh, the bugs are crazy. Like, I just let my wife deal with them.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:36Jay Shetty?

  Like it's her job. Like I'm like, no, can't do it.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  I can't do it.

• 33:39Jay Shetty?

  There's a cockroach in there. Nope, can't do it. It's over to you.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:43Jay Shetty?

  I'm the worst for the cock. Yeah, no, beautiful, beautiful story and definitely the reality of it. I feel like a lot of us, I think a lot of people today, especially with social media, etc., we question like, oh, like how many people could I affect? Or how many people can I impact? And it's almost like just recognizing that when you can impact one person deeply, that's gonna give you all the confidence, all of the trust in yourself that you need.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:08Jay Shetty?

  To recognize, that's all it takes.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  I mean, Margaret Cho is the entire reason I'm here. I saw her perform comedy on Comedy Central. And I was like, oh my God, she looks like me. I can do that. Also, like for thirty minutes, I've forgotten my sister is dead. What a beautiful gift. And yeah, all it takes is one, just literally one.

• 34:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. So, yeah, if you're that one, well, you are that one. Uh, everyone listening and watching, be that one.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, just be that one. It's as simple as that. I wanna dive into some of your videos.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 34:37Jay Shetty?

  Because this is where I wanna dive into your expert mind, your inside mind, because I think there's just so many great things people can learn from you. Every time I watch you, I'm like, I learned something new.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:47Jay Shetty?

  So, so I picked out a few of my videos that I love of yours. Uh, one of the ones was being jealous of other people's success.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:53Jay Shetty?

  And I really wanna talk about that one because I think that that's such a big thing right now.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:57Jay Shetty?

  That feeling envious, feeling jealous, com- competition.

• 35:02Jay Shetty?

  Uh comparing yourself to other people is just such a big thing that we all share. Whether you're a creator or not, it's it's just there. So you said something in there, you said you can decide whether jealousy turns into insecurity or ambition. And I love that. I was just like, it's so true. So speak to us about that.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, as you know, we live in a very competitive environment, especially being creators. And now that we have social media, you're constantly looking at everyone's highlight reels. And you feel unworthy and insecure and insignificant. And for me, I I think I realized it when I had expressed good news to a friend. And she responded like, oh, great. That's good for you. And I felt like, oh, she's not actually happy for me. And then at the same day, a friend had expressed great news for me. And I was like, oh, great, like wonderful for you. And so in one day, I was on both sides of the exact same thing. And I was like, oh, this neither of these serve me. Like I'm being a shitty friend and also I am having a shitty friend like interact with me at the same time.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  And so that I think that was the moment that it clicked for me was like, if someone has a success like they can't take that away from me, you know, I'm not taking that away from them. And the mantra that I have actually up in my bathroom is like, what is mine will find me. And it is true. It's like, if something is meant to be yours, it's going to find you. It's going to be yours. Nothing and no one can take that away from you. If if someone has success, that was always meant to be theirs. And once I was able to make that mind shift, like I was able to celebrate in other people's success even more. And then be like inspired by it and motivated motivated by it and be like, well, how can I learn? Like, what'd you do to get there, you know? Rather than just being like, oh, great. Good for you. Well, maybe you were just lucky. Maybe you just work harder than I do. Maybe I just suck because I was like, this is just a waste of time.

• 36:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:42Jay Shetty?

  I love how introspective you are, though, because you could spot the same thing happening, both from you and someone else. And I think often we only amplify the part where our friends are like that to us.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:51Jay Shetty?

  And it's really hard to be like, oh, wait a minute, I was just like that.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:54Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like realizing that we both experience both.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 36:58Jay Shetty?

  Most of the time.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:59Jay Shetty?

  Right? It's rarely one way.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  No, it's never one way.

• 37:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we have it too. No, I love that. And you said that that we were mentioning earlier that sometimes you make videos because most of your videos, like my real scenarios, real situations. And then your friends see that they were in them. Like, tell me how you're dealing with that.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  So usually if you're my friend, a lot of my friends just know like, oh, if you have an altercation with Anna, it's probably gonna be on the internet at some point. But I have had friends who are very upset about that. So, you know, obviously, it's a three-minute video. I have to simplify some things. Otherwise, it becomes like a he said, she said, complex thing. And normally, I just try to extricate whatever learning I had from an experience and recreate that in the most accessible way. But I have had friends who are not friends anymore, specifically because of a video hurt their feelings. And I don't think it was just this one video that ended the friendship. It was, you know, a lot of other factors. But the video is usually what cinches it. And so I've kind

• 37:59Speaker 01

  of sort of strayed away from talking too much about my personal experiences and much less than I used to, because I don't wanna, I don't wanna be insensitive and I don't wanna hurt other people's feelings. I've been the subject of someone else's art, and I know how incredibly violating it can feel when that person is expressing their point of view, but it also hurts you and feels unfair and feels like you don't get the chance to say something back to that piece of art. So it's been a weird balance that I've had to find over the last couple of years of like, what can I talk about that is still meaningful and give something to the world, but doesn't hurt the feelings of the person I experienced it with?

• 38:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, definitely. And I feel, I feel like when I watch your stuff, it's that balance between generic and specific.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:38Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's a specific issue, but it's almost like a generic person.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:42Jay Shetty?

  It could have been anyone who acted that way, because we all have this in our friend groups. And the strange thing is, and I love that you give people a choice between, you can either respond with insecurity or ambition.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:53Jay Shetty?

  Because I feel that what happens is when you respond with insecurity, you end up pushing that relationship further away.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:59Jay Shetty?

  Like, the person who's receiving that is going, I don't want anymore, I can't share my greatness with this person anymore.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:06Jay Shetty?

  Because I'm gonna get that negative energy. And then you end up pushing that person away.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:10Jay Shetty?

  Have you experienced that before as well, either way?

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, either way, yeah, for sure. I had a friend who anytime I told her good news, is she, her automatic response was, fuck you, with a smile. And I was just so like, you keep saying that every time. And I was like, this hurts my feelings. Like, can't you say like, that's great for you? Like, I work hard, you know? And she just couldn't be that person for me. So finally, you kind of realize like, oh, like, emotional support has to go both ways. And she, she would often tell me like, well, you know, we're gonna be friends forever, so it's fine. Like, you just have to accept me for who I am. And I'd be like, no, actually, I don't have to be your friend forever. If you're not gonna emotionally give me what I'm asking you for, then... I'm sorry. And I've also been that person where, you know, maybe I'm not fulfilling someone in the way that they need to be, or I know I have a tendency to be very like,

• 39:55Speaker 01

  um, I have a fear of being a burden and therefore I become a burden to like fulfill that fear. So I'll just like bombard that person with like every update about nothing. They're like, okay, calm down. Uh, so yeah, it's like a fun weird balance of like trying to recognize what you can improve in yourself, but then also realizing your boundaries with other people.

• 40:14Jay Shetty?

  I really like the point. Do we end up fulfilling our fears?

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, so much of the time.

• 40:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, tell me about it.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 40:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I agree. I agree with you. I want to hear your perspective.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Well, I think I had, I always thought I have a very fine line between intuition, because I have a very strong intuition and manifestation. And I often get them confused where I'll have a fear that I then am just moving into like, I'm actually manifesting my fear instead of this being like an intuitive thing that I know. And I think they feel very the same. So it's hard to figure out which one they are. But with certain people in my life, like I had an ex where I was always like, you're gonna leave me. And he'd be like, what? Like, what more can I do? Like, I live right across the street from you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm like, no, I just know, like, you're gonna leave me and then I'm gonna be sad and da, da, da, da. And I would talk about it all the time. And of course, what happened? He left because he was so much like, I'm tired of you not trusting me and acting really mean towards me because you think I'm going to leave. So sure, I'll

• 41:07Speaker 01

  leave. Um, and so, yeah, I've, I've found a lot of moments in my life where I'm like, hmm, maybe if I like stopped believing in that, it wouldn't have come true.

• 41:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I've definitely been on the receiving end of that.

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:17Jay Shetty?

  I know exactly what that feels like. I've had girlfriends before where, which were always like that with me. They were just like, no, but like, you could be doing this or you could, and I'm like, no, but I'm here right now. Like, I'm choosing to be here with you. And, and that was one of the most beautiful things I fell in love with my, with my wife, because she was one of the first people that I ever met that was just very self-assured, very confident, but not in an arrogant way. And, and just kind of let me be and just trusted me. And I, and I love that because when someone trusted me, it's like I wanted to live up to that trust. Like, I wanted to, I wanted to earn that trust back. I didn't want to exploit it. And that, and that's what I loved about being trusted. And so I, I totally agree with you.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:59Jay Shetty?

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• 43:27Jay Shetty?

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• 44:07Jay Shetty?

  Okay, next video that I pulled out, this is great. The next video that I put out, and I love this because you made a video called "Why You're Angry or Upset For No Reason." And you say it's often about having poor boundaries, emotional, physical, spiritual, etc. I love that point.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 44:21Jay Shetty?

  Let's dive into that one.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  I overcommit, and then I'm very angry at everyone who I've said yes to. Which is bullshit, because it's like, you're the one who said yes. You have no one to be mad about yourself. And so now I'm realizing, like, in the moment, if it feels wrong, it's just, say no. It's always better to say no. And then, you know, maybe if you want to later, you come back to it later. But, you know, I have a lot of pent-up resentment of like, "Why did I agree to all of these things I didn't actually want to do? But I wanted to be nice, so I said yes, and now I'm stuck doing them." And so, boundary implementing has been really hard for me, but I'm learning it.

• 44:57Jay Shetty?

  Me too.

• 44:58Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 44:58Jay Shetty?

  And that used to be it for me, like, for me, it was being seen as nice in the moment. Like, I didn't want someone to think that, "Oh, Jay thinks he's special," or "Jay's got more important things to do." So I was like, "I want to be seen as nice." And I want that moment of them saying, "Oh, Jay, thank you, like, you're so kind." Then like, a week later, I'm dreading it. Like, I'm just like, "Oh, look at my schedule, it's so bad."

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I think setting boundaries and writing them down about what your boundaries are and how you make decisions. I always say to people, like, have decision-making criteria so that you can make intuitive, smart decisions in the moment. Like, having a checklist of like, "Does it serve this?" Or "Does it serve this?" It just makes it easier.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:39Jay Shetty?

  Rather than if it's just a free-for-all. I remember a few years ago when I started first getting invited to speak internationally. I'm saying with you, I'm sure, like, when you first get that, like, outpouring of like, "Come and be a part of this, and be a part of this." I was like, traveling internationally across the world doing crazy schedules.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:55Jay Shetty?

  And it was hard, like, it was tough, like, I was getting tired and I wasn't, I didn't feel like I was even giving my best everywhere that I was. And then you're like, then you don't like yourself even more.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:05Jay Shetty?

  Right?

• 46:05Speaker 01

  And then you're like, just angry and bitter.

• 46:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  And you're like, "The thing I love is now the thing I hate."

• 46:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Causing me so much anxiety.

• 46:12Jay Shetty?

  Exactly, and you're so right, it's just up to us.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, are you better at that now?

• 46:15Jay Shetty?

  I am, I've improved a lot.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 46:18Jay Shetty?

  And I think I still got a long way to go, like, but I have improved a lot.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 46:21Jay Shetty?

  I've definitely got much better at knowing what my criteria are. My intuit and I want to dive into it because you mentioned it and I love hearing that like intuition's been such a strong part of my whole life.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:32Jay Shetty?

  And that voice has been so strong and even now, just the other day, I was on a phone call with my team. And I said to them, I said, my learning here is my intuition was right three months ago. And I let I let you all I let you all lead me. And like, I just want to go back to saying that next time I'm in this situation, I just want to trust my intuition again. Right?

• 46:50Speaker 01

  That's the lesson you have to learn so much.

• 46:52Jay Shetty?

  So much, right? Like especially, how have you strengthened your relationship with your intuition? I'd love to, I'd love to know.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  I used to have the strongest intuition before adulthood. It was cra- I would dream of places before we moved there. Um, I've had like really weird premonitions about stuff. Like there was a time where I was very convinced like, I am a psychic.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Cause I would just, I would just know things.

• 47:15Jay Shetty?

  When you say in that voice, I believe you.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Thank you, yeah. Twenty five dollars an hour, come on down. Um, but I sort of lost that voice along the way by like constantly denying it. You know, and I think like overworking was a big thing. Cause my intuition would be like, you're tired. You need to stop doing all of this stuff. You need to recharge, you need to go out in nature. And I'd be like, no, I have to stay up till three AM and answer every email in my inbox because that's what makes me a professional. And it was only a couple of years ago where I was like, oh, there's so many things that went wrong and caused me pain that I totally knew were going to cause me pain if I had. And if I had just listened to that voice and avoided them, I wouldn't be in this situation now. And so now I ask myself every day, like, is there anything I have to do? Is there any message I'm supposed to receive?

• 47:57Speaker 01

  And sometimes, you know, sometimes I'll deny it, like my intuition, my intuition will be like, go to the beach. And I'll be like, that's really far. Can I go anywhere else but the beach? And it'll be like, fine, just go to a park, just be in nature for like thirty minutes. And I'm like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Um, or sometimes it's like hit up this friend you haven't talked to in twelve years. And I'll be like, okay. And I'll text her and we'll have like a good conversation and I'll find out something I needed to know. And so now it's just, I think about getting quiet and still and really asking yourself, um, what you're supposed to do. I also read a book called Practical Intuition by, um, Laura, shoot, what's her last name? Laura Day, I think, but she has, uh, Like exercises you can do to increase your intuition.

• 48:34Jay Shetty?

  Ooh, I like that.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  And she's like the most world renowned famous intuitioner. Like people would give her envelopes full of stuff and she'd be able to like say what was in them or their people's relationship to them. She was incredibly good.

• 48:46Jay Shetty?

  Wow, oh, that's pretty cool.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  I love, I love that stuff.

• 48:49Jay Shetty?

  I love talking about intuition and it's nice talking about someone who someone who feels they've had that strong relationship. Because that's the same for me. I feel like my intuition has guided all my best decisions in life. It's constantly what I've turned to and you're so right. You've raised this and I I've never heard anyone say that before. Like you were saying like how hard work and actually overworking. Sorry, that's what you said. You said overworking can start blocking your intuition.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:12Jay Shetty?

  And you're a hundred percent on the money. That is so right.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:15Jay Shetty?

  That is so right. I've never heard that before, but it's spot on.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  How do you improve your intuition? I always like to know.

• 49:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I I think for me, it's been first thing for everyone out there who doesn't even know what their intuition is. And that's what I think. I only realized my intuition was my intuition after a long time. And what I did, one thing that really helped me strengthen my intuition is I looked at all the best decisions I made in my life, not based on the result, but how I felt when I made that decision. And that's a really important thing. I think people think their intuition is right when they get the result they want and that's not true. Intuition is right about when you feel you made the right decision in that moment. And so I look back at all the decisions I made and I looked at the patterns in my intuition. And I noticed that every good decision in my life was made with the same environment, the same energy, the same thing. So I'll give you an example, like taking a gap year before I started university was one of my best decisions.

• 50:05Jay Shetty?

  It was completely against what all my friends did because all my friends went directly to university. It was something that I felt I needed to do spiritually. It was a spiritual decision. And and the third thing was that no one agreed with me. Like my parents were like, this is a bad idea. You should go straight Asian parents. So and then I and then I looked at my next best decision, which was becoming a monk. It was a spiritual decision. Everyone was against me, like everyone was like, don't do this, you're crazy. And all my friends were starting work. And so I started to notice that anytime I do anything that it's spiritual, everyone's against. And most people don't agree with me is usually the right choice. So I started to recognize that my intuition even had a pattern, like my intuition had some. Uh, my intuition had its own philosophy and ideology.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fascinating.

• 50:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that really, really helped me. And the, yeah, so that was one thing, like just mapping it. And I did the same for negative decisions, bad decisions. And I started to see patterns in all my bad decisions. So I call it like a karma code. It's like, I, I believe that all of us have, and that doesn't mean that those things apply to everyone.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:02Jay Shetty?

  That's just my intuition's philosophy and, and guide. And that's really helped me. And the other one I think is like what you said, just listening to it more, like stop telling it to be quiet.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:12Jay Shetty?

  Like when it's shouting out to you and it's screaming out to you. And you're like artificially just trying to squash it away because you think there's something more important.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:20Jay Shetty?

  And I think just listening to it and, and just like a friend, like if you listen to a friend more, they get closer to you. Whereas if you ignore your friend, like they're gonna be far away. And intuition is either a friend or, or not a friend. And so for me, just listening to my intuition's really, really helped. And, and then having moments like this, like I was talking about the other day. When I recognized I should have followed my intuition three months ago. And then writing that down and going like, how did it feel when I ignored my intuition?

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Oof.

• 51:45Jay Shetty?

  Like, you know, like, how did it feel? And just being aware of like, hey, I'm only in this position because I chose to be led by someone else's. Intelligence or someone else's ideas as opposed to my intuition.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  That's always so hard. I've had that lesson so much, but I feel like it's hard because. Uh, when you're an introspective person, you're like, well, am I actually like putting forward my intuition? Or am I just being difficult, you know? And, and like you wanna find that balance, but every decision I've ever regretted not following my intuition, you're like, oh. Okay, okay, I know what that feels like. Next time, next time. But then when everyone's telling you like, no, listen to us, we know what we're doing, we're smart, Jay. You're like, yeah, okay, all right, I guess I will.

• 52:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and, and yeah, and I, I experience, I need, yeah, I've got so many things to talk to you about in that. I'll, but I've, I've done that so often because I also feel like I'm common, like I never studied media. I never studied film. I never studied anything that I currently do in my life. And therefore, I sometimes trust that people who have know more than me about what's happening. Yeah, right. And it's it's like you have that trust based on your intelligence. Like that that person has a degree, they've done this for ten years, like they're an agent or they're a manager or they're whatever they are. And like they're smarter than me in this field, so I should trust them. But then I realized that, right?

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, so much.

• 53:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And and I'm not saying they're not smart people, they are. But I think if you have a strong intuition, it's just a smarter guide.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  I agree a hundred percent.

• 53:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we've got to have more intuition conversations.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:10Jay Shetty?

  We've got to boost each other. We've got to, we've got to be each other's intuitions hype people.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 53:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  Listen to me.

• 53:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think we need that. I think even even a couple of days ago, we were on a flight, one of my flights was delayed. And I was meant to give a keynote somewhere and I wasn't gonna get there until like an hour before. And it was gonna be a really long journey. I wasn't gonna get any sleep. And then my my assistant, Jess, she she said to me, she goes, Jay, trust your intuition on it. And I was just like, oh, thanks. Like, it was just so nice to hear that. And I was like, yeah, I'm not going. Like, because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna perform the best.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:42Jay Shetty?

  I'm not gonna give my best. Yes, I'm not gonna make that much money, but that's not important. The importance is how am I gonna feel when I get there? And and how am I gonna perform when I get there? And both of those, my intuition was saying no.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:53Jay Shetty?

  And I felt like having someone around you who's just like, yeah, just just trust your intuition.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's beautiful.

• 53:59Jay Shetty?

  Okay, last video I wanted to talk about.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 54:02Jay Shetty?

  The one step to self-love.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:04Jay Shetty?

  Because self-love is like the theme of the year, I feel. Yeah. Like, self-love is the theme. We were just talking about that, like, it's so nice to see everyone around us, I feel, having like self-love. Like practices and beliefs and everything, like where did? And you made, you said it so openly. You were like, you only realized last year that you hated yourself.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:23Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that journey.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Well, um, I always thought I did like myself. Um, so I was like, why wouldn't I like myself? I'm great. Like, I have my stuff together. My career is fine. I help all these cats. I do all these things. But then, like, I hated being alone and I could not stand being alone with myself. And if I was alone, I had to distract myself with something like TV. Or I had to disappear into a book, or I had to be doing some kind of activity that I could justify as productive. And when I really, actually, the thing that I made me realize it was a. An ex of mine had made an entire album about our relationship and in one of the lines he's he talked about like you're tough to love because you hate yourself. And I was like, yeah, it hurt. But I was like, oh, that hurts because it resonates.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  And when I really sat down and be like, and because I love feedback, like I'll I'll take feedback and I'll sit with it and I'll like be like, it does it does it ring true for me? And if it does, I want to change it. Um, and it did. It was like, oh, he's totally right. Like, I do hate myself on a very deep level. And I realized I had a very deep denial of clinical depression because I was just very tired of being the sad girl. Um, and you know, people on the internet are like very surprised when you're like, uh, no, I deal with these things. So like, but you're so peppy two minutes a week that I see you, you know? Um, and so like, twenty eighteen was a lot of deep diving into like, why do I hate myself? And how can I change that relationship to myself?

• 55:46Speaker 01

  And and really focusing on treating myself like I would a partner because I'm so good to other people and I'm such a shit to myself. Like, I will make the time for someone else. I will cook them extravagant meals. I will plan great dates. But for me, I'm like, ah, Postmates from like this one place is fine. Oh, I don't have to go out to like Botanical Gardens to like, hang out or, you know, I don't have to take myself to this movie. I'll just chill out at home on the couch. And so the moment I really started treating myself like I would anyone else in my life is when I was like, oh, this is what love feels like from yourself. This is quite nice.

• 56:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:20Jay Shetty?

  And and I feel like when you're getting there, you also feel guilty at the beginning.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:24Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like when you're first being nice to yourself, it's like you feel guilty. I remember when I started booking myself, every time I land on a flight, I land off a flight. So I booked myself a massage now. Because I feel I travel so much and the only thing that helps me detox with the jet lag is getting a really good massage. And when I first started doing that, I was like, oh, God, like, this is so expensive. Like, I shouldn't do this. Like, I should just rough it out. Like, I should be more, you know?

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:45Jay Shetty?

  Have you ever felt that?

• 56:46Speaker 01

  A hundred percent of the time. Yeah. You feel like you're being arrogant and like egotistical and narcissistic and like all these things that you're not being. You're just being kind and compassionate to yourself.

• 56:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Where's a good place for people to start? Where should people start?

• 56:59Speaker 01

  I mean, I found journaling to be like the one way to figure like, have you ever done the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron?

• 57:05Jay Shetty?

  Love it.

• 57:05Speaker 01

  Love Artist's Way. Love Artist's Way. So I recently started doing it with a group of gals and in the morning pages is where I really discovered like how mean I am to myself and like the shit I say to myself that is just like, I would never let a friend talk to me this way. Um, and so I started doing a lot of like very specific affirmational work, like I, Anna Akana, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, and doing that over and over again, every single morning I was like, now when I'm out in the world and I'm making a decision, I'm like, no, cause I, Anna Akana, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm not gonna do that.

• 57:36Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Do you have voices for different, like a voice for intuition and a voice for affirmations? Or no? Do you do characters into it or not?

• 57:45Speaker 01

  If I hear a negative voice now, like something that my dating coach actually taught me was, she was like, when you have a negative voice in your head, repeat that thought with like the dumbest voice you can imagine, like a goblin voice or like a, just a stupid silly voice that'll make you laugh because then you realize how ridiculous it is. And so I'm, I also do like a lot of voiceover for cartoons. So now like my negative voice just sounds like the dumbest little goblin. Um, so yeah, I'll like actively.

• 58:07Jay Shetty?

  Can you give us an example?

• 58:08Speaker 01

  I don't know. Like if I'm thinking like, oh, Anna, you're being like so self-indulgent right now and be like, oh, Anna, you're being so self-indulgent right now. And then I'll just like laugh because I'm like, that sounds ridiculous. And you're like, yeah, I'm not being self-indulgent. I'm just like taking care of myself.

• 58:20Jay Shetty?

  I love that. I think it's really important actually that we, as strange as this sound, give the voices in our head, characters.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Jay Shetty?

  Because like, give them a persona.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:31Jay Shetty?

  Like with people in our life, we know what energy we like around us because of how they look, feel, emanate, et cetera. And with the voices on our head, they all sound like the same thing.

• 58:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:41Jay Shetty?

  Because we haven't given them a character, right? And so, so I feel like even with my ego, like I've always for years given my ego a character.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  What's your character?

• 58:49Jay Shetty?

  It's a snake, right? Because I don't, because, because ego is not something I enjoy in life.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:54Jay Shetty?

  I don't mean ego in terms of like self-worth and pride. I mean, the negative side of ego, arrogance and. Narcissism, et cetera. So it's like this big snake and that comes from a ancient monk tale that I that I know of where ego is compared to a snake. So I I've recognized it as a snake and like I I don't like snakes. Like I don't want to be around snakes. No offense to anyone who has snakes as pets and stuff, but it's not my thing. So straight away, when I visualize my ego in that way, I can see that I don't want it in my life.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:20Jay Shetty?

  Right? Rather than when I hear my ego and then I hear my intuition and then I hear my manifestation and then I hear Anna. And then it's like, oh, well, all of wait a minute, all those voices sound like the same person.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's that's a helpful tool. Visualization, I think, is so helpful. Self-work is the hardest work, man, because it's all in your head. You have to like literally sit there, like write stuff down. And now I'm like, oh, I see why people take a long time to get to this.

• 59:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. And but it's but it's so worth it. And when I'm speaking to you, I feel so happy because you're doing the work all the time. I'm trying to do the work all the time, too. And it's you see the benefits of it, like you can you can feel someone's energy who's doing the work.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:57Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's just very apparent. So it's it's beautiful to watch. And I do think that this if you if you've got if you're good at voiceovers, do what Anna does, give a voice to each voice in your head. And if you don't have good voiceovers like me, then then simply add a face or a visualization to the voices in your head so that you can remember which ones they are. Like remembering like, oh, yeah, that was my ego. Oh, yeah, that was my intuition. I had that. And then hopefully that will help.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:21Jay Shetty?

  I hope, anyway.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Hot tip.

• 1:00:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I was gonna ask, you mentioned you have a relationship coach, dating coach. What have you learned from your?

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Uh, I've learned that I actually, even though I really want commitment, I am a commitment phobe.

• 1:00:32Jay Shetty?

  Ah.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Uh, I because I remember she was like, I think you have issues with commitment. I was like, no, I don't. Like, I'm ready to get married and like have kids in three to five years. And she's and she like listed off all the things that commitment phobes like have. And I was like, oh, my God. And she's like, well, you also constantly choose partners who have commitment phobia, which means you're safely allowed to exist in a space of I want commitment from a person who will never give it to me because I'm afraid of it and secretly don't want it. And it was just, it was the most mind blowing realization I had because I am so used to change. And so the thought of being with one person forever is incredibly frightening on a deep level to me. Um, and so working through that and even just like finally becoming aware of something that I never knew I had was like mind boggling.

• 1:01:15Jay Shetty?

  How was it getting to that switch? Like you said, like your initial response was like, no, that's not me. Like, I love commitment. Like, how was that switch? Like, when you could vocalize it to yourself and now, obviously, here? Like, how was that process of switching over and recognizing?

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  I mean, it was like when someone told me I was Asian when I was nine. I was like, oh, my God, it makes so much sense now. You know, you're like, I don't have blonde hair like all of my friends. It's just like such a weird. It's such a weird realization where now you see your entire life through this new filter. And you're like, oh, I've had this issue I didn't even know I had. But then it's wonderful because now I can work on it and actually be like, okay, well, why am I feeling this way? How can I actively change that?

• 1:01:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Whereas before, if you're not aware of something, you can't change it. And I was like, oh, I'm glad I'm not doomed to repeat this pattern and go through my life thinking I want something that I'm actually pushing away.

• 1:02:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, at least it's not this unconscious, unawakened approach.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:07Jay Shetty?

  Where you think it's happening to you.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:09Jay Shetty?

  Rather than from you, right? It's like we're constantly thinking like, oh, no, but I'm with this person who doesn't want to commit. But actually you realize, oh, that's a reflection of what I'm bringing into my life.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Hundred percent. And I think that's the hardest thing that was for me to get like everything you experience is like radiating back from you. Rupi Kapoor? She actually just released an amazing poem about that of like, how did I think that it was actually like you loving me? It was like a reflection of my love. You were just experiencing my warmth and sending it back to me. And I was like, oh, my God, this feels like so triggering and I love it. But yeah, yeah, I love that concept.

• 1:02:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, me too. Yeah, I think everything in our life is reflecting back off of us. And sometimes the reason why it's hard to notice is because the reflection we're experiencing now is from a crack from a few years ago. So it's like the reflection's not necessarily like in the moment now. A reflection can be based on a reflection that just took a longer time to appear.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Wow, interesting.

• 1:03:07Jay Shetty?

  That's what makes it complicated, I think, for people. Because I think sometimes we're like, no, but I'm good now. Like, I'm just radiating good now. Like, why isn't good happening now? It's like, well, because the radiation or the reflection is sharing your journey.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:20Jay Shetty?

  Like, it's taking it time, right? It's not just gonna be instant. So, anyway.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  What a wonderful point.

• 1:03:25Jay Shetty?

  That's all right. Thank you.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Jay Shetty?

  I don't know. You're inspiring it. You're like, you're reflecting. I don't know who's reflecting that.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  You're reflecting all this wisdom back to me.

• 1:03:35Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. I wanted to ask you this because I've seen that you love learning new things and you you try like you you said vision boarding is a huge part of your life. You have a dating coach. What are you experimenting with recently? Like, what is it that you're trying to learn? What are you experimenting with? The mindset, a habit, a thing, a skill, whatever it may be?

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Letting go is a big, a big thing for me, like letting go of, because I am such a, I have such a big imagination. I often fall in love with potential or a story around someone that I've crafted in my head about that person and like not actually seeing my reality for what it is, but the story I've created about my reality. And so for me, it's like letting go and really seeing like what is true, not what I want to be true and just trying to like makeshift that into what I'm seeing.

• 1:04:19Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Yeah. The difference between what is true and what I want to be true.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's such a great point.

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  It's a hard one.

• 1:04:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And that's a great activity to do, I feel, like just writing down your life of what you want and then looking at what it really is like. And be like, oh, wait a minute, like.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  Where's the disconnect here?

• 1:04:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. Is that all right?

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you're just cuddling it, giving it a hug. But yeah, no, it's true. I I think that's such a such a brilliant point to hear. And I'm glad. What am I currently experimenting with? Uh, I I'm gonna ask you about something that you're trying to learn soon as well. What am I experimenting? I think I'm experimenting with with building the right teams around me, like the right people around me. I don't mean in an energy way. I mean professionally.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Jay Shetty?

  And so I'm like, I'm experimenting. It's like, who do I really need around me to get things to move forward in different areas? Like, how do you find? And and I don't mean in a, I don't mean in a material sense of recruitment and hiring. I mean, in a sense of like, who do I feel like is working on the same mission and pattern? And how do you find that out about someone, you know, clearly? Because I feel like it takes a while to really understand what someone's like mission and vision is in life and.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  And some people don't know.

• 1:05:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, some people don't know.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I always try to, I used to take like, I mean, you know, being a boss can be very difficult. And sometimes when people want to move on, you like take it personally. And now I'm like, no, I'm just like a chapter in everyone's life. And if I can clarify where they want to get to or like give them some kind of, I don't know, takeaway value that's going to help them move forward into what they actually want to do, I'm cool. Yeah.

• 1:05:52Jay Shetty?

  Nice.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  But it seems like you have a great team here.

• 1:05:54Jay Shetty?

  I'm lucky, I've got a good team. Yeah, very fortunate. Yeah, got a great team. And, and like I said, I think it's been being patient. I, I always feel like if I don't trust my intuition, I end up settling.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Jay Shetty?

  So if your intuition is telling you to wait, it's better to wait than to settle. Because when you settle, then you have to like get yourself out of that again.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:12Jay Shetty?

  It's like another thing to get out of and let go of.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Jay Shetty?

  So I feel like with my team, I've just been trying to be intuitive and waiting. Even if I'm like, oh, I need this now, I need this person now. But it's like, no, let's just wait. You know, let's just wait. So that's helped me.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a hard one. Being patient in this day and age is very hard.

• 1:06:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. What do you, what have you done with patience at all?

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  My, one of my mantras is like, uh, the universe unfolds in perfect timing.

• 1:06:37Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  And I'm like, it's gonna happen when it's exactly when it's supposed to happen. I don't have to worry about anything. And, and one practice that artist way. Was it artist way that told me to do this? Or I think it was asked and it is given. Uh, you split a paper in half and on the left hand side, you write like everything I can do today to achieve my goals. And on the right side, everything I want the universe to take care of. And so I've been doing that every day. And I'm like, okay, like realistically, I can do like two to three really big things every day. And everything else, uh, just you do it. Like, here, divine, take it. Thank you.

• 1:07:08Jay Shetty?

  Nice. I like that. What are your other daily habits or weekly habits like that? That have kind of become building blocks of your?

• 1:07:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I have a monthly habit tracker. I don't know if you've had this. It's amazing. I keep it in my journal and you write down all of the, the habits that you want to have on a daily basis. And then you actually track them. So that in the end of the month, you can see exactly what you're doing.

• 1:07:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  And so for me, that's been huge in cultivating. Like, I want to be really good at piano. So I have to practice at least 10 minutes a day. I want to make sure I'm meditating every single day. Am I eating healthy that day? Like, at the end of, I even have like a feelings tracker. So like, I'll do, have you seen like the, uh, emotional guidance scale? They're like the 22 emotions. So I'll have those on there and every day like log which emotions I went through. Normally all of them, but. You know, to actually like really get clarity on on where I'm at.

• 1:07:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you're such a habit hacker.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love habits.

• 1:07:55Jay Shetty?

  I love it. No, but it's so awesome because I think this is the part that people miss.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Jay Shetty?

  Like, not everyone gets to hear this about you or see this about you. And it's just like, you're so meticulous. As intuitive as you are.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Jay Shetty?

  And this is what I love, like, hearing you, and that's what excites me. It's like intuition and insight. Like, it's both. It's not like I'm just letting the universe decide what's happening in my life. It's like, no, there's a there's an equal relationship.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:08:19Jay Shetty?

  Of my intuition guiding me, and then also I'm being really insightful. I'm being really like, uh, not mechanical, but I'm being very meticulous in my attempt to become better.

• 1:08:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:28Jay Shetty?

  And be better.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:29Jay Shetty?

  And I've been seeing your videos of you playing the piano.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, it's fun.

• 1:08:32Jay Shetty?

  You're awesome.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  Thank you. My cats are slowly learning that if they go on the piano that they'll get pet. And so I'm like, oh, I got to stop.

• 1:08:38Jay Shetty?

  And you have how many cats?

• 1:08:39Speaker 01

  I have five.

• 1:08:40Jay Shetty?

  Five. I was gonna say four. Five cats. What are their names?

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Uh, I have Lily, Jimmy, Abby, Congress, and Beetle. I had Ghost as well, but she ran away.

• 1:08:48Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  Final.

• 1:08:49Jay Shetty?

  Her name was Ghost, though.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:08:50Jay Shetty?

  Sounds like a ghost thing to do, yeah. Sorry, I know probably everyone's made that joke.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  It's fine.

• 1:08:55Jay Shetty?

  But I had to, I had to say.

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Jay Shetty?

  It's like the, it's like the fulfilling your fear or fulfilling someone's name, like a self fulfilling prophecy.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  I know, I know. I was like, I should have named her Stay.

• 1:09:04Jay Shetty?

  Stay, yeah, Stay. That could be your next cat's name. Are you, are you planning on having more?

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  No. Five's enough.

• 1:09:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  I mostly have accumulated that many because people have given them to me.

• 1:09:13Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  I've discovered them and been like, you are my son. Yeah.

• 1:09:16Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:17Jay Shetty?

  People gift you cats?

• 1:09:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:18Jay Shetty?

  That's like a responsibility.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  I know, I know. I, trust me, I know. I was like, why did you do this?

• 1:09:24Jay Shetty?

  Now, now I feel bad if I brought you a cat.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  No, don't bring me a cat.

• 1:09:28Jay Shetty?

  No, don't bring you.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  No, don't even bring me cat things. Like, people give me so many cat things, I look like an insane person. I'm like, I didn't buy this stuff.

• 1:09:36Jay Shetty?

  Have you, have you, what have cats added to your life?

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  I love them.

• 1:09:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  I love them. Um. They're constant companions. I love also taking care of things. So I have a lot of plants as well as a lot of cats. I love nurturing. Um, yeah, they're just awesome. They're like fun little creatures with their own personalities. Yeah, they're my kids.

• 1:09:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I've started to recognize that I like pets more. I guess coming growing up in an Asian household, especially an Indian household. The closest thing you have to a pet is a fish.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03Jay Shetty?

  And that doesn't quite count because there's, I don't know. I mean, fish are nice, but you don't necessarily.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  You can't cuddle them.

• 1:10:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you can't cuddle them. And then recently I've had, I've been going over to friends' homes who have like really cute little dogs. And I'm like, oh, wow. I, you know, it's, I, I see it. I see. And it's so interesting how when you've been closed off to an experience as simple as having pets or anything.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:21Jay Shetty?

  You just don't know.

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  You should get a couple of cats.

• 1:10:25Jay Shetty?

  I don't know if I could do it. We've got plants. Take care of the plants.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  Cats are so easy.

• 1:10:30Jay Shetty?

  At some point.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  Cats are so easy and so great with babies.

• 1:10:33Jay Shetty?

  Oh, really?

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, cats are so good with babies.

• 1:10:35Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow. You're gonna have to convince my wife.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll let her know.

• 1:10:38Jay Shetty?

  Let her know. We'll have to come over and play with the cats one day.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, you should.

• 1:10:41Jay Shetty?

  That will help.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  They're so friendly and they're so sweet. And when you raise them, they kind of act like dogs in their own way.

• 1:10:46Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, like they get attached to you and they love you. And the thing I love about cats is like, with dogs, they give their trust to everybody. With cats, you have to earn their trust. And it's like how you said with your wife, like you want to live up to that trust and take care of her and like it'd be great. Yeah.

• 1:10:59Jay Shetty?

  So you're doing all of those things for your five cats. You're gonna do it for five?

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's easy. It's not bad at all.

• 1:11:05Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  They sleep sixteen hours a day.

• 1:11:07Jay Shetty?

  Really?

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:08Jay Shetty?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  And they get very buff while they sleep.

• 1:11:11Jay Shetty?

  Ah, wow.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Cats gain muscle in their sleep. Yeah. Yeah. So they just like sit there.

• 1:11:17Jay Shetty?

  I had no idea.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:18Jay Shetty?

  That's unbelievable. I wish I could sleep that long sometimes.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're also very intuitive animals.

• 1:11:23Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. Amazing. What? So now I'm like, now I'm like, we're talking about cats. It's a cat podcast.

• 1:11:30Jay Shetty?

  No, I love that. Let's go back to some of those habits. I want to finish off on a few of those habits. What are other habits that you're doing? The habit tracker is brilliant. I love that.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  I love habit tracker.

• 1:11:36Jay Shetty?

  Love that.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Um, I also do like, I mean, I'm a sucker for any kind of lists or bullet journaling. So I journal every morning, three pages, stream of consciousness, doing the morning pages like from Artist's Way. I journal at the end of the day, everything that I'm grateful for. I try to. Think about like, oh, were there any things that I I handled poorly today that I wish I could have handled better? And like visualizing how I would handle that. Um, and also just like trying to be guided by my intuition, like if something goes off course or something pops up, like I used to get very stressed out if things are not going according to the schedule and according to plan. And I'm like, oh, okay, like this just means that this is what I'm supposed to be doing now.

• 1:12:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  Um, but you know, also trying not to overthink and overdo the self-work. Cause you know, you can get a little bit too in your head about that stuff. And so trying to find a good balance.

• 1:12:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:24Jay Shetty?

  That's a good point. That is a good point that it can lead to that. It doesn't sound like it has for you, but it can lead to that. Where you're like doing overdoing the work.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:31Jay Shetty?

  Getting too into it, overthinking it. One thing that's really helped me is is visualizing and intention setting for how I want to wake up in the morning.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:40Jay Shetty?

  So I found that I was, for a long time in my life, I was waking up early. I was meditating early every day, but it's like I was tired.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Jay Shetty?

  I was energyless. I was forcing myself. And I, and after a while, you don't enjoy that. Like there's a period of change that requires it to be pushed, forced, like a bit of effort, et cetera. And then after a while, and so what I started to do is every night I'd go to sleep and obviously I was sleeping early, et cetera. But I was sleeping, saying to myself like, I wanna, I will wake up tomorrow feeling energetic, healthy and happy.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:13:10Jay Shetty?

  And then I felt that, like when I would wake up and I was like, I would wake up early, enthusiastic to meditate, et cetera. So I was like setting and almost wiring my brain for the next morning. And that was working really, really well for me. I was like waking up and I was feeling all of those things I set my mind to.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 1:13:25Jay Shetty?

  So yeah, that one, that one was a really nice one for me. In addition to everything that Anna said, that I think definitely if you can get into habit trackers, like it would be a huge change.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, habit trackers are amazing. They've totally changed the way I look at my days. Like now I'm like, oh, I can squeeze in 10 minutes of piano here.

• 1:13:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  And even just that is enough.

• 1:13:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And let's talk about your music.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:45Jay Shetty?

  You've got new music coming out this year, end of March. I'm so excited. I think you have an incredible voice. I, I also love watching you make videos on Instagram with the piano, but I can only imagine. What a song's gonna sound like.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  Thanks. It's been fun. I mean, I quit comedy after ten years of doing stand up.

• 1:14:00Jay Shetty?

  You've quit?

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  I've quit stand up, yep.

• 1:14:02Jay Shetty?

  Really? I didn't know that.

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, it was a really like weird decision, but intuitively it was time. It was just time.

• 1:14:09Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  Comedy was a beautiful escape and helped me heal and was very cathartic, but I, I feel like, you know, we're in such a weird political climate now, society, and even globally, it feels like we're all sort of depressed. And what I think the differentiation between comedy and music is comedy is like, hey, let's forget that for a while. Let me make you laugh. Let me poke fun at some stuff. And music's like, hey, let's sit with that feeling and let's like really indulge it and like feel it and like let it pass through you. And I don't know, I just, I, with comedy, I just did not like the environment that much anymore. It's very negative, bitter and resentful. Um, the community is not very supportive. Um, yeah, I didn't have like a good, strong support system there.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  And also touring solo as a comedian is so lonely. Um, but touring as a musician, you have your entire band and it just felt like it was time to move on.

• 1:14:56Jay Shetty?

  Wow, I love that transition and that makes so much sense.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. It's almost like comedy was your, part of your cure and, and your growth, et cetera. And now it's like you're switching over. And I, and I, I really, I really identify with that. I think you're so right about having to feel stuff.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:11Jay Shetty?

  And having to heal it through feeling rather than just making a joke, putting it to the side, et cetera.

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:15:17Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. So where's your music being inspired by?

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Um, I actually wrote all this, the music is kind of what got me through last year, like through my breakup and like going through all of those complicated emotions. So it, it tackles a lot, like something I've never really talked about is um, my issues with alcohol. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic, but I definitely have poor boundaries with it and I'm a lightweight and a people pleaser. So if people are offering me drinks, I'm like, yes, of course. I'll take anything you wanna give me. And then before I know it, I'm like wasted and a mess. Um, and so this year I, I pledged to be sober for the entire year.

• 1:15:51Jay Shetty?

  Wow, how's it going?

• 1:15:52Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:15:53Jay Shetty?

  Amazing.

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I started actually in November because I was like, I don't wanna do like the whole like January first thing. And also if I'm a year sober, then I can drink next Christmas. It's like a glass of wine is a celebratory hurrah. But it's been great. I felt so much clearer and, and just better and have more energy and, and you know, being clinically depressed and drinking is a depressive. So it's like, you probably shouldn't mix those two as often as, as you think you should.

• 1:16:14Jay Shetty?

  Wow, I love that. That's wholesome. Yeah, I haven't drank for thirteen years.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:16:19Jay Shetty?

  Literally, it's been like.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Why'd you stop?

• 1:16:21Jay Shetty?

  I was, I was in one sense, I describe it very similar to you. So I was a social drinker. I was a people pleaser. I love drinking games.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:16:28Jay Shetty?

  I love the kind of like, the, the competition between guys of like who could drink more and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so I had no boundaries. I love that way of putting it like. Just extremely poor boundaries with it. And I was seeing it making me do dumb stuff.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:16:41Jay Shetty?

  Especially when I'd be out. I was doing stupid things that people wouldn't even think I would do now, but trust me, I was doing them. And I'm not proud of it at all. And I was just like, I can't do that. Like, I'm disrespecting other people's property. I'm disrespecting.

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:16:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and it was like going, and I would only do it in that, when I was, when I was drinking.

• 1:16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Jay Shetty?

  And so I made a decision way before I became a monk and said I'd stop drinking alcohol. Then when I became a monk, that was one of the requirements. I was like, I'm already there. I've made it. And then now I never went back because I never missed it.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:11Jay Shetty?

  And, and I found I preferred myself always when I wasn't. So it stayed that way. And it was hard. Like, I've worked. I've been to, I went to university like that, like sober. I went to new jobs, but I've just found it's been such a beautiful thing for me. So.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  That's wonderful.

• 1:17:27Jay Shetty?

  I'm excited for you.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like it. It's been hard in social settings.

• 1:17:31Jay Shetty?

  I can imagine.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  So, yeah, it's weird too, because if I go to like an event, like the bartender's always like, what do you want? I was like, oh, I don't want anything. And they're like, are you sure? We have one. We'd be, and I'm like, oh, I just have to be like, I'm sober. And then they're like, okay, okay, sorry, sorry. And then they'll leave you alone. But even on flights, like if I don't say I am sober, they will keep offering me drinks.

• 1:17:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  You don't realize like how ingrained it is until like you decide not to do it.

• 1:17:53Jay Shetty?

  Totally, totally. Yeah, whenever I go on a flight and, and someone's trying to be nice and polite, or they, they recognize you, whatever it is, and they're like, oh, we got a bottle of champagne for you. And I'm like, I'm sorry, like, I feel so bad too. Like, it's like someone's trying to be nice, and then you're like, no, but I don't drink.

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:07Jay Shetty?

  But yeah, no, it's true. It's in our society. And I think now, like you said, like we are getting to a place where there is more. Understanding and compassion and empathy and, and respect to people's boundaries.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:18Jay Shetty?

  Like you said, like people are not gonna force it.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:20Jay Shetty?

  Down you. Well, no, that's cool. We, we can always hang out together at parties then.

• 1:18:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Jay Shetty?

  So I'm gonna do from now. I love that. That's amazing. Okay, so music, another thing I wanted to ask you about it is, what type of music is it? What genre is it?

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  It's alt-pop.

• 1:18:34Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  So like in some of them, I'm just straight up singing. Others, I rap. I rap quite a bit in them.

• 1:18:40Jay Shetty?

  You rap?

• 1:18:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:18:41Jay Shetty?

  Oh my god, I love it.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  It's my dream when I was thirteen to be a rapper, so fulfilling that at almost thirty.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  You should make a rap song.

• 1:18:49Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  It's so fun.

• 1:18:51Jay Shetty?

  Rap, pop, etc. Go on.

• 1:18:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, alt-pop. Yeah, it's like, it's like a kind of rock, rock-pop vibes, yeah.

• 1:18:56Jay Shetty?

  And you have a band?

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  I do have a band.

• 1:18:58Jay Shetty?

  Do you play the piano?

• 1:18:59Speaker 01

  I do. Well, I'm not gonna play the piano live, because I need to be so, like, good at the piano before I do that, but yeah.

• 1:19:06Jay Shetty?

  Sure. Did you learn the piano when you were younger too, or this is all new?

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  I learned when I was younger, but I learned in Japan, so I don't, I don't remember anything, because I could not understand what she was even telling me. So I've been learning now as an adult, and it's much easier.

• 1:19:17Jay Shetty?

  Nice. Yeah, I, that's my biggest regret. I was forced to go to piano lessons by my parents when I was a kid. And I went, and I was like, no, I wanna learn the drum kit, because the piano is not cool. So I learned to play the drum kit too. And then I didn't play instruments forever, and I'm like, oh, I wish I could play the piano.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:19:31Jay Shetty?

  I wanna get, it's interesting that, I, I liked, when I heard that you were getting into music, it was like, for me, that was the same thing. So music was the biggest part of my life from fourteen to eighteen. So I used to rap, I used to write music, just in love with it. And then, then I kind of lost touch. And then it's been such a big part of my life I wanna re-explore.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  You should.

• 1:19:46Jay Shetty?

  So I need to ask you for tips of how you got back into it, and like,

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:50Jay Shetty?

  how you started writing and creating.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  If you need some good producers, my producers, Nietzsche and Shea at Jenga Productions are honestly the most kind-hearted, good people. I am so blessed that I randomly, like, started working with them first, because I have so many musician friends who are like, your producers are unheard of, just in terms of like, how organized they are. People in the music industry are incredibly flaky and shady and sketchy a lot of the time, and I just got so lucky that I, like, worked with them first and have, it just, it's just been such a great collaboration.

• 1:20:18Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. So exciting.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:20Jay Shetty?

  End of March?

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:20:22Jay Shetty?

  No, no names yet, no nothing, it's all, it all happened.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  The album's called Casualty.

• 1:20:25Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's gonna be a visual album, so I have music videos for all thirteen tracks.

• 1:20:29Jay Shetty?

  That's so cool.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:30Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I can't wait. And you said some are animated, some are...

• 1:20:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, a fourth are animated.

• 1:20:35Jay Shetty?

  Amazing.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  Cause I love animation.

• 1:20:36Jay Shetty?

  So excited.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Jay Shetty?

  Twenty nineteen is gonna be amazing.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  It's gonna be really great.

• 1:20:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:40Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. Is there anything that I haven't asked you about that you're like, Jay, I really wanna talk about this, but we didn't get to talk about it. There's something on my mind.

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess I'm just wondering, what are your twenty nineteen resolutions? Like, what are you gonna do?

• 1:20:50Jay Shetty?

  That's a good question. So, I'm launch, anyone who's listening to this already knows that's launching this podcast.

• 1:20:57Jay Shetty?

  I, yeah, I, I really wanted to build a deeper relationship with my audience. So, I love doing Facebook Lives, I love responding to comments, but I was just like, how do I really let someone into my thoughts, ideas, and the thoughts and ideas of people that I love and admire and respect and, and learn from too? And I, and I just felt like, I was like, how do I do that? And then a podcast is the form it's taking. But really for me, like I was sharing with you earlier, my goal was, how do I deepen my relationship with already existing friends? Or do I, how do I make new friendships with people like yourself through this medium? And then share that with this beautiful audience that I love and is so supportive of me and my work.

• 1:21:37Jay Shetty?

  So, I always felt interviews a beautiful way of doing that. And so, launching this podcast is a big part of my life this year. It's very exciting for me because it's, uh, yeah, it's just that I love, I never wanted a follower to be a number. I don't see it as a statistic. I want it to be a relationship. And for me, that means me opening up more longer forms so that people can really dive into topics and themes and ideas. So that was one thing. Do you mean external resolutions or do you want?

• 1:22:02Speaker 01

  No, I, I know. That was great. It could be anything you want.

• 1:22:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, sure. So I'm, I'm working on my book.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:22:08Jay Shetty?

  Which I'm really excited about because I've stayed away from it for so long because, not because I didn't want to write one, but because I didn't want to write one for the sake of it. And so for so long, I was just like, let me really wrestle with this. And like, I've redone my proposal like three times over. Just because I was like, no, I, I need to understand. If someone's gonna take out, time out their life to read this book, it's gonna help them do the work and it's gonna help to get them there. It can't just be. It can't just be like Jay wrote a book because he because he can't, right?

• 1:22:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:38Jay Shetty?

  It can't be like that. And I had to really want to, I really wanted to work through that. So I kind of feel like we're we're at ninety percent stage of finishing off my proposal. So it's nearly there.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  Well, listen to your intuition.

• 1:22:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  One of my regrets of my book is taking the advice of my editor and not listening to my intuition. So definitely do not let your editor have the last word.

• 1:22:55Jay Shetty?

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:22:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:56Jay Shetty?

  Good advice.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:57Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:22:58Speaker 01

  Because you'll think they have all the answers and then you'll, it's printed forever. And you'll always be like, oh, yeah.

• 1:23:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm a sucker for experts too.

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  Same.

• 1:23:08Jay Shetty?

  When you think someone's an expert, you're like, yeah, do it.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:10Jay Shetty?

  Okay, good advice.

• 1:23:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:12Jay Shetty?

  This is great. I'm getting, I'm getting counsel by you. I love it. Uh, so that's, that's another huge focus for me to write the book this year. So I'm going to take out a lot of personal time. Uh, another one for thing for me was to get away regularly with my wife.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  Yay.

• 1:23:24Jay Shetty?

  So one of the things on my list was we're going to do more weekend breaks.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:23:28Jay Shetty?

  We started testing ideas last year. So last year we went to Palm Springs for the first time, which was beautiful. And so this year it's a real focus for me to have more breaks and rest time and refuel time. So twenty sixteen was the year I first started making content. And things broke through and a lot happened and it was amazing. But then twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, I've never worked that hard in my life to really figure out what life was like as an entrepreneur, to figure out what life was like not having a paycheck, to figure out what life was like, not knowing what you were doing and, you know, all of that.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:00Jay Shetty?

  And that was very much my twenty seventeen and twenty sixteen. And then twenty eighteen was incredible. And this year is really to almost own what's happened and then make it sustainable.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:24:12Jay Shetty?

  Like this is the year where it's like, yes, I've worked hard, I've pushed hard. I've, I've gone through all those boundaries and broken everything that I needed to do. And now I need to show myself even more rest, refuel time, et cetera.

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:24:25Jay Shetty?

  So that's a big focus for me this year. Take more regular breaks.

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:29Jay Shetty?

  Spend more time in nature, on beaches, uh, you know, all of that. So we, we started the year spending, uh, thirty days meditating in India. Like, so I was away from everything and that was just amazing. So I've only really started working in February and I'm already talking about rest.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Rest is important.

• 1:24:45Jay Shetty?

  It is, it is, yeah. And it makes me more creative. I, I found like, because I didn't think about anything, and I love creating, like, for me, this isn't work. I love it. And same as, uh, same with you, like, making a video isn't work for me. I love it. It's my passion. It's my purpose. But I was so much more creative when I came back because I didn't think about a video for three days. And I was just like, wow, like, ideas are just rushing to me now, you know, and we've all experienced that. So I want to make more time for that, to make space for inspiration to come through.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Solid.

• 1:25:13Jay Shetty?

  So, yeah, that's kind of what's happening this year.

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:25:16Jay Shetty?

  So, yeah, fingers crossed. And, uh, yeah, I need all your positive energy and vibes sending it back.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:25:22Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 1:25:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm excited for the book. I can't wait to read it.

• 1:25:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And it's, yeah, it's a big thing for me. I definitely want to work on it. But we end every interview with what I call the final five.

• 1:25:31Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:25:31Jay Shetty?

  These are my final five fast questions.

• 1:25:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:34Jay Shetty?

  So you usually have to answer in one to three words.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:36Jay Shetty?

  Uh, you, you're gonna be a pro at this.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:38Jay Shetty?

  This is like easy for you. So you can answer this with humor or seriousness. Where will you be in five years?

• 1:25:46Speaker 01

  Hopefully, uh, that's really dark. I'm supposed to be hopefully alive.

• 1:25:52Jay Shetty?

  That's, uh, it's true. It's true, too. Okay. Uh, the best advice you've ever received?

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  Uh, it's gonna be fine.

• 1:26:01Jay Shetty?

  Nice. Worst advice you've ever received?

• 1:26:03Speaker 01

  It's not gonna be okay.

• 1:26:05Jay Shetty?

  Uh, people who make, person who makes you laugh the most?

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  Uh, myself.

• 1:26:10Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that. Oh, that's awesome.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  I'm not that funny, but I crack my.

• 1:26:14Jay Shetty?

  You are. You are so funny. You are funny. I love that. And, and what's your current purpose? Like, what's, what's motivating you right now? What's inspiring you right now?

• 1:26:22Speaker 01

  Uh, spreading, spreading light, I think, is my purpose then. Yeah, that has been really good for me.

• 1:26:28Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Thank you for being you, Anna.

• 1:26:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:30Jay Shetty?

  Genuinely. And, and I really, and I mean this, I'm not just saying it because it's on the podcast. I'm saying this for real. You're someone that I would love to develop more of a relationship with in 2019. I love your energy. I love your light. And, and I feel it's so important for all of us who want the same for the world to stick together.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:45Jay Shetty?

  And that's been a big thing for me. So actually, I'd add that to my list of 2019. There's, there's a few people that I really want to deepen my relationship with because I feel like all of us together being friends for the next 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years of our life.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:57Jay Shetty?

  Like, could make a huge difference long term.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:00Jay Shetty?

  So even if we, it's not about, and that's where it's, for me, it's like getting beyond the like, okay, how can we collaborate? What can we do now? But it's like, actually, if we're just friends. Like in 10, 20, 30 years' time, that's gonna make a huge difference.

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:11Jay Shetty?

  For me personally.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  No, I love that. I love having friends too who are very, who are very introspective and doing the work. So I also feel like when people are aware of themselves, they're even more aware of you. And I don't have a lot of friends who are willing to not like call me out, but be like, hey, I've noticed this. Like, is this a thing? Do I need to be concerned? Do I need to be worried? Or, you know, have that kind of open dialogue.

• 1:27:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. So let's get there.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah?

• 1:27:32Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 1:27:33Jay Shetty?

  But thank you, Anna. You're the best. Everyone who's listening and watching, thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed that episode with Anna Akana. She's incredible. Anna, they can find you everywhere.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:27:42Jay Shetty?

  Under your name, but anywhere specifically?

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Uh, YouTube.

• 1:27:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah?

• 1:27:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:45Jay Shetty?

  Find Anna on YouTube. We'll obviously add the link, et cetera. Please, please, please go follow her. Check out her videos. They're unbelievable. You'll just be watching them for hours and hours and hours laughing away. So, and I'm excited for everything she's gonna do this year. So she's someone I fully support. So please, please, please fully support her too. Anna, thank you so much.

• 1:28:02Speaker 01

  Thank you for having me, Jay.

• 1:28:03Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

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