Frank Caliendo Becomes Everyone! | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series. Andrew Santino sits down with legendary impressionist and comedian Frank Caliendo for an episode that turns into a masterclass in voices, timing, and controlled chaos. They talk about building iconic impressions, staying sharp after decades in comedy, and why commitment is everything when you’re stepping into someone else’s voice. Frank jumps in and out of characters effortlessly, leaving Santino (and the audience) scrambling to keep up. 🌐 Frank Caliendo tour dates & info: https://www.frankonstage.com IN THIS EPISODE: • How Frank develops and maintains his impressions • The mental speed required to perform at his level • Santino and Caliendo talk comedy longevity and craft • Why impressions still crush when done right Drop a comment with the impression that broke your brain. #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #FrankCaliendo #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #Impressions #PodcastClips #Comedians ======================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR SQUARESPACE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:50Speaker 02

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• 1:19Andrew Santino?

  Welcome to Whiskey Ginger A Wave Series. Hey, hey, hey, I'm jumping around. Come see me. I'm gonna be up in Canyonville, Oregon, February 14th. Then in March 14th, just one month later, The Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and I are gonna be over at Lincoln, California, which is basically Sacramento. Then at the Wynn Casino, I'm playing Vegas. Viva Las Vegas, March 21st, March 27th. I'm gonna be in Providence, Rhode Island at the Little Roadie Fest. Then April 3rd, I am going back to the Borgata in Atlantic City to that make-up date because of the weather. And finally, Bad Friends are playing Netflix's A Joke Fest at the YouTube Theater here in Los Angeles, California on May 8th. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. andrewsantino.com.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Who's that creature in the ginger beard? It's dirty and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

• 2:24Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I'm meeting him once again today. It is Frank Caliendo, and you have to say it with an accent.

• 2:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, but apparently at the beginning, the K, you went Caliendo.

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's Chicago, K.

• 2:36Speaker 05

  Caliendo?

• 2:37Andrew Santino?

  Frank Caliendo over there. You know Frank Caliendo?

• 2:40Speaker 05

  It's fantastic. He was on his way, he was on his way to Armon's Pizza. He stopped at River Road Hot Dogs.

• 2:45Andrew Santino?

  What was he doing over there?

• 2:46Speaker 05

  I have no idea. That's what I was saying. He spent most of the time.

• 2:49Andrew Santino?

  Well, his brother, his brother's ex-girlfriend was working across the street there.

• 2:54Speaker 05

  That's what I heard. That's what I heard. There's a lot. She died? She did?

• 2:58Andrew Santino?

  She died.

• 2:58Speaker 05

  Nobody tells me anything anymore.

• 3:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm sorry. You don't get those phone calls no more. But you know why? Because when you moved, you know, you moved, where are you out at? You're now, you're like at Edgewater or somewhere you live in?

• 3:06Speaker 05

  No, I'm, I'm in Elmwood Park right now.

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you are?

• 3:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. Well, that's all right over there.

• 3:10Speaker 05

  Just across, uh, just across from the, uh, the circle over there.

• 3:14Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're right next to it?

• 3:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, right.

• 3:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 3:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, good for you guys. Look, you move up.

• 3:18Speaker 05

  You know where the park is? Sorry to cut you off, but you know where the park is, right?

• 3:21Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 3:21Speaker 05

  There, just, uh, like two streets over and it's us and you're just right there.

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay, yeah. I know that. Yeah, Frankie's son was there for a month and a half doing a gig. He was building over there.

• 3:32Speaker 05

  You're thinking on the other side.

• 3:33Andrew Santino?

  On the upper side of the street?

• 3:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's the other side of the street.

• 3:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. Frank Caliendo, what a pleasure to have on the show. Thank you for coming to the show.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  I love the speed of your intro, too.

• 3:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, I have to get through it really fast.

• 3:42Speaker 05

  Why is that? Just because everybody doesn't care?

• 3:44Andrew Santino?

  Nobody cares.

• 3:45Speaker 05

  Nobody cares.

• 3:45Andrew Santino?

  Nobody cares, which is the name of, of, of my new tour. Nobody Cares.

• 3:50Speaker 05

  Already taken. I've already doing it. Yeah, I've been doing, I've done three of those so far.

• 3:55Andrew Santino?

  No, stop it.

• 3:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I, uh, yeah.

• 3:58Andrew Santino?

  It's a pleasure to have you on the show. We met in Las Vegas. Uh, we were in, uh, in a suite at the Palms at an after-party, uh, which had a basketball court inside of the hotel room.

• 4:11Speaker 05

  Did you play at all?

• 4:13Andrew Santino?

  When I was a kid?

• 4:14Speaker 05

  No, but I mean there?

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I shot a couple of times and then the young guys took over. You can't get in their way.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  No.

• 4:19Andrew Santino?

  The guys in their twenties, they really wanted to hoop. And I, and I'm just an old fogey now. I can't.

• 4:23Speaker 05

  Hold on, I'm sorry. Am I, is the mic over? Okay where it is? I feel like it should be closer right now.

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  I got you loud and clear.

• 4:29Speaker 05

  Oh, you got me great.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  I just, but if you want me to fuck with it, I can do that.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  No, and don't edit that. Just, I want people to see how rude I am. You're in the middle of the story.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I do like it.

• 4:37Speaker 05

  And then I just.

• 4:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, the mic, we did this, we put it at a position where if you move, it moves.

• 4:43Speaker 05

  Well, it's that thing where people tell you, get real close to the mic and eat the mic all the time, and then I don't have to eat the mic here.

• 4:49Andrew Santino?

  You don't have to.

• 4:50Speaker 05

  But yours looks closer, so I started to worry.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  We want to hide his face, we don't want to hide yours.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  Correct.

• 4:54Speaker 05

  Come on, we don't have to be honest.

• 4:56Andrew Santino?

  No, but that is very, it's very, very true. A lot of times the comments are, hey, could Santino not be on the show? And just speak to the guests from off camera, like it's a documentary?

• 5:04Speaker 05

  Really?

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. Most of our fans would like that.

• 5:06Speaker 05

  And nobody looks, everybody looks to the side?

• 5:08Andrew Santino?

  They'd prefer it. Yeah, they'd prefer it. There's a guy named Vlad TV. Do you know Vlad? Vlad only does interviews like that where he's not on camera. Very smart.

• 5:16Speaker 05

  So interesting.

• 5:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, it works.

• 5:17Speaker 05

  And it gets, but how?

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God, they get millions of views.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  And that hits the algorithm.

• 5:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think because people, his voice doesn't sound like what he looks like. So I think it's an interesting twist.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  A lot of like hip hop gossip.

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  A lot of hip hop gossip.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 5:28Andrew Santino?

  Which you're big into.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:30Andrew Santino?

  What is, what is your musical taste?

• 5:32Speaker 05

  Hold on, let's get back, I don't have one. Uh, maybe classic rock might be.

• 5:37Andrew Santino?

  Like, what's your band of bands?

• 5:39Speaker 05

  Uh, see, I don't know, I, I, I know a little bit of music, but like in high school, I wasn't into music, so I started faking it.

• 5:47Andrew Santino?

  Uh.

• 5:47Speaker 05

  So I started getting like jukebox kind of songs. Like, it was like, everything was Steve Miller Band.

• 5:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  And, uh.

• 5:54Andrew Santino?

  A lot of Journey thrown in there?

• 5:55Speaker 05

  There was, yeah. Um, trying to think what else.

• 5:59Andrew Santino?

  The Eagles?

• 6:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, then I had friends who were like really into like up and coming grunge, so like Saigon Kick, The Lizard.

• 6:06Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  I had their CD.

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 6:08Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, it was, it was like weird, like weird stuff. If somebody else got into something, I would pretend that I was kind of into it too, because I knew nothing about music. I will, I do like, uh, I wanted to see a Billy Joel concert.

• 6:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's good.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  Uh, he, I, I'll tell you this about Billy Joel, um.

• 6:24Andrew Santino?

  You know him personally, I imagine?

• 6:25Speaker 05

  No, I don't. I know, I'll tell you this about just seeing him from afar.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  He has so much fun on stage.

• 6:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 05

  I've never seen anything like it. I've never seen anybody who entertains, outside of comedy. Somebody who has that much fun just messing around.

• 6:42Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:43Speaker 05

  And is that good at it. Like, a lot of time you see a band and the lead singer wants to be a comedian the whole time.

• 6:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, we know all these bands. We've seen these bands many times.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  And it's the opposite. A lot of comedians want to be a rock and roll star.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent.

• 6:57Speaker 05

  But he is so good. At just from top to bottom, just weaving in and out, changing words and there's. Like, I always thought, I always thought impressions were a cheat code, you know? There's, there's a, there's a cheat code to an impression. But there's an even bigger cheat code to musical comedy.

• 7:15Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 05

  Because when you can strum the guitar in between the, the, the, the jokes.

• 7:23Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:24Speaker 05

  It, you can play, as we're coming up, I'm, I'm assuming you did this too. You play like colleges or something like that, and you play the lunchroom at noon.

• 7:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 05

  And nobody's listening and people are just trying to figure out, you know, how to shut you up and get the TV volume back on.

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 05

  But you can strum that guitar and fill the silence.

• 7:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 05

  It's a great tool.

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 05

  It's like, uh, uh, uh, people have done it with the piano a little bit too.

• 7:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 05

  But the guitar is just so great, cause you can just go into a little riff and then you can rhyme something.

• 7:55Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:55Speaker 05

  And if you can rhyme something in a voice that sounds like somebody with a puppet, now.

• 8:00Andrew Santino?

  Now you're doing it. Now you're hitting strides. There is a little trick. There is a little magician's trick to it all, right? Like, even in comedy, you hear people's beats. You know, like, um, and this isn't a negative thing, but there are, everyone has their bag of tricks. And like, uh, like Sebastian has a very rhythmic beat to the way he does his comedy, right? Or like. You know, it's like we all find our little trick that helps the way that we write jokes. And musicians do the exact same thing.

• 8:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, and one thing I've seen. And it is like playing music. It's like playing, I, I talk, I, this is somebody I did talk about it, Michael Buble.

• 8:32Andrew Santino?

  Name drop.

• 8:32Speaker 05

  Boobzy.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  Boobzies.

• 8:34Speaker 05

  He talked about how he pulls from lots of different famous singers to get his sound.

• 8:41Andrew Santino?

  He's like a chameleon, that guy. He really does change shapes. Yeah, he's, you hear sometimes when he sings, I can't tell that that's Michael Buble. Do you know what I mean? Like if, um.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  Well, if it's a Christmas song, you got a chance.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, but that's about it. But if Celine Dion is singing, I know it's Celine Dion.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Right.

• 8:57Andrew Santino?

  Like, Michael Buble is the kind of guy where I'm like, he can do ten different versions of.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  He knows how to, he, he can sing in different songs.

• 9:03Andrew Santino?

  How'd you get in, hooked up with him?

• 9:05Speaker 05

  On TikTok, believe it or not. I said something to him on TikTok. I just, uh, I just left a comment going to see you in Vegas with my uh, wife and daughter and my mother-in-law. And he, he said, is this really you or something like, I think it was verified. And then he's like, you, do you want to come up and do something? So we do the, he, we go to the show. I don't tell my family at all. We're there in the crowd. We've got pretty good seats, really good seats. We actually got moved to the seats where he could talk to me. And in the middle of the show, he starts doing Elvis, right? And he goes, listen, I'm not a great, I can't do a great Elvis. I'm not, I'm no Frank Caliendo. My family looks around, my kid, my daughter's like, uh, like, what, do you think he does it? My wife goes, do you think he does it every show? I'm like, I don't, I don't know.

• 9:48Speaker 05

  You know, I'm kind of like nervous. Is that the moment he's gonna do? And then he dedicates a song to Juliet, my daughter in the audience. And my wife goes, you didn't. I go, yeah, I kinda did.

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  Did you go onstage?

• 10:05Speaker 05

  I didn't go onstage. He just came out to me and I did some Morgan Freeman with him. It was funny because he had me do Morgan Freeman and he's kind of a guys guy too. So he's, most of his audience is, it's a lot of women.

• 10:18Andrew Santino?

  Lot of ladies.

• 10:19Speaker 05

  Lot, lot of, lot of ladies.

• 10:20Andrew Santino?

  He's a lady killer, that guy.

• 10:21Speaker 05

  He is.

• 10:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Handsome boy.

• 10:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, tremendous. But he had me, he had me do the Morgan Freeman. I don't remember if he had me do some mad or something, but then he had me do some Trump. And it like, it was kinda like the audience wasn't sure how that like, that wasn't like the Trump crowd. It wasn't exactly what we're talking about. And I did a cry Trump, the one where it almost looks like I'm a ventriloquist.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  And I said, don't, don't, you don't say other words. You just say, am I talking right now? Am I not talking? Give me something to drink. I can drink. I'm gonna drink. I'm one of the best at this. I drink while I'm talking.

• 10:59Speaker 05

  Trump would try that and like.

• 11:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, he would talk while he's, yeah.

• 11:02Speaker 05

  But he wouldn't be able to, but he's claimed. I'm the best, and the best, it's, I'm the best at talking with, uh, the drink. I talk with a drink. I'm the best. And the whiskey ginger. There's a lot of people that have the whiskey ginger. And the whiskey ginger. They would, they would have a lot of trouble. I try to do a different Trump than what everybody else does.

• 11:23Andrew Santino?

  A lot of people's Trumps are up here.

• 11:25Speaker 05

  That's the.

• 11:25Andrew Santino?

  That's the common one, the, the high one. Where he does this and you're a piece of crap. But if he goes down. Little piggy. No, you're a little piggy.

• 11:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's that pushing.

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, strain. Yeah, but you do the.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  I did something different, something low, something.

• 11:45Andrew Santino?

  And we spoke to him and we didn't like anything he was saying and that's what it is.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  Have you always done impressions? No?

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, maybe. I'm okay. I think it was.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  Well, you're better than okay. I've seen what you do and I, I, you know, I've seen more and more cause it then, I see something and then it shows up in the algorithm.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  Sure, yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 05

  So I, and I try not to watch a lot of impressions, cause I don't wanna be influenced by how somebody else does something.

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  See, that's my biggest, so my thing was always like, I, I do more impressions of, uh, people I've met versus people that are famous.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  Right.

• 12:16Andrew Santino?

  That was always, like the Chicago thing, or if I do another accent, it's someone I've met or something I've heard and it's stuck in me.

• 12:22Speaker 05

  Well, that how, I, I mean, when you, but the thing is, is probably cause you haven't met as many of the people you could do, you have thought to do an impression.

• 12:29Andrew Santino?

  Maybe, some of them, I mean.

• 12:30Speaker 05

  It, once you meet somebody, it unlocks something. There is a thing, and that's, I'm, I did a. Sketch with Trump, maybe twenty years ago at Trump Tower, dressed as Trump and like we're just, you know, doing the, doing the stuff and my Trump has changed since then, but he's, his voice has changed.

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  Totally.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  He's, he's, he does less of tha- that one. Now, he still does it where he does the, the power, the power through. But they quiet when she was a bellot because they haven't slept.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  What did you do with them?

• 13:01Speaker 05

  In the middle of a tremendous pause. A lot of people have regular pauses. I, they have pregnant pauses and we're gonna make them keep the babies.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  So, uh, what was that?

• 13:21Speaker 05

  What was the, uh, I think we just found a social media ping.

• 13:27Speaker 05

  Do I call, I, I, I like honesty and stuff too. Like I love like, that's what, that's one of the things I like about you is like just complete honesty in the moment is.

• 13:37Andrew Santino?

  Just give it to them. That's what the people are thinking.

• 13:39Speaker 05

  Scared a lot. I mean, I think you're right, but I've done so much corporate work for so long. And been part, you know, with the NFL and stuff like that, that I've always, I always bring it back a little bit. I get worried about it.

• 13:50Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's hard to do live on air, right? Like if you're talking.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  No, cause you won't get asked back.

• 13:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. And if you're doing Madden and I'm sure John said wild shit.

• 14:01Speaker 05

  Oh yeah. He, I mean, for legends, legend has it. He was like rough.

• 14:05Andrew Santino?

  But you, you have to do this PG version.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, on there, right?

• 14:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you have to. But live, you can do whatever you want.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Right. I'm clean though, because I had so many people coming out. I, it wasn't anything other than I knew the people that were coming to see me. So as I was always really careful with that, but that might be getting unleashed more and more. We'll see.

• 14:27Andrew Santino?

  As time has gone on?

• 14:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, you know, I just start to, I do less corporate work now. So it's like, well now I don't have to be as careful with it. But, uh, but yeah, Madden was known as like, you know, this is like second and third hand stories, but like your, your name's dickhead. I'm gonna call you dickhead because your head looks like a dick.

• 14:46Speaker 05

  So you got your body right there. That's a regular body and then boom.

• 14:55Speaker 05

  So, uh, but it's so back to the. This is my life. I don't know if you always do, but meandering the way I.

• 15:01Andrew Santino?

  No, we meander. This show is a meandered show.

• 15:04Speaker 05

  But you hit the right, like the things on, there are very, people who do very generic impressions. And then there are specifics that, um, that are the tougher. I heard you doing Mark Norman. I heard you and Adam.

• 15:20Andrew Santino?

  Adam, yeah, going back and forth.

• 15:21Speaker 05

  Going back and forth. And do some of the Norman.

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Hey, Kelly Endo, he's gay. He's not. Who knows? We'll see.

• 15:27Speaker 05

  See, and that's, it's real close to how I would do Drew Carey. It's like, yeah, man, sounds pretty good. But if you bring it in, it's like more throat.

• 15:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's way in my throat.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  And you do, and that, it's like, that comes from there.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

  I buried Norm, I found Norman one time because I said something that sounded like it was him. And someone was like, it sounds like Norman said that. And then I wrote a joke that wasn't my kind of joke. It was a Normandy joke. And then I started saying it as him to our friends. And that's kind of how it started. They were like, that sounds just like Mark would say that.

• 15:59Speaker 05

  I wonder if when Mark Norman, when people work with, maybe he brings his own people with him all the time. But it was like when David Tell, when I was younger, anybody I saw work with David Tell and then I worked with David Tell, by the end of the week, I was talky talking like this.

• 16:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, like all my, like, what do you think John Madden would say? How about this? And I'm just going, hokey dokey, hmm, yeah. And I'm going, well, now I'm just doing, uh, Dave, David Tell.

• 16:30Andrew Santino?

  Through you.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  Through me, like, and I gotta fix that. I mean, there were those things. You, you see Brian Regan, you start repeating. Start gonna, gonna go over here now. Gonna go, gonna go the right side of the stage. Gonna go the right side of the stage, donut lady. Okay. And then you gotta go from the big, you go from the real big, you go from the big one over here. Okay. Yeah, and then you kind of just do the aside. So I was like, you ever been over there? Okay. Done some of that? All right. Okay, okay, crazy. On Krypton, the big red one was the son. Okay.

• 17:01Andrew Santino?

  The face when you end on it is, that's the.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, the faces, like the faces are cheat codes for when you don't have an impression. I always tell people, the mouth tells you how the person talks. The eyes tell you how the person thinks. So when somebody does a Trump and they do the fish face. The that that.

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  Okay, they get that, but they don't always, especially if they're copying somebody, they don't get the acting part of it, which is the, you know, this is, this is just doing Trump, talking like this, you're talking and you're talking, but then when you, okay. You add in the thought process, and it's a tremendous thought process, and a lot of people, a lot of people have a good thought process, but I had the best. But so you add that, I talked about Jeff Goldblum, he looks like he's a, a painting in a haunted house. Like, oh, yes. Oh, yes, you're going up the stairs, where are you going? Oh, look what's behind the door, I'll tell you, but not before the wolf man grabs you.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  He also looks like he's eating an invisible hamburger, very good.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  Ooh, the mustard, ketchup, relish, uh, uh, pickles, not relish, that would be on the hot dog, that's from a bit I've done before, and I just threw it in an accident, muscle, what, muscle memory, ooh.

• 18:24Speaker 05

  Oh, sounds vowels make but aren't the classics.

• 18:29Speaker 05

  Ooh, now what I'm doing, who, yes, I don't know, I'm conjuring something. That's how, that's how I find a lot of stuff, I lost my brother.

• 18:36Andrew Santino?

  Did you, have you had someone get mad, now the mic did fall a little bit, put it up so we can, there we go. Have you, that should be good. Did you, um, did you ever do anybody that got mad at you for doing them?

• 18:47Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean, the sports people are tough, which is what, you know, people know me for a lot of the time.

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  Like Gruden liked when he did.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  Oh, he loves him, man.

• 18:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Gruden's the best.

• 18:56Speaker 05

  He could do that all day, man.

• 18:59Speaker 05

  Like Captain America, I could do this all day, you see that? That's, he was the first Avenger, man, there's a lot of Avengers, but Captain America, he was just this little guy, man, but he had intestinal fortitude and a shield, man, he didn't have that shield right away, he got it from Howard Stark, you know who Howard Stark is, man? That's Tony Stark's dad, without Howard Stark, we're gonna find out about Doc, Doctor Doom, you see that, man? Doctor Doom, there's, he looks like Tony Stark, they're not saying why. We're gonna find out, yeah, he likes it, he gets it, and he gets it, because he gets it, because, you know, I, I even asked him one time, and he kinda, he said, no, but he's like, no, I love you, man, I love, but I was like, is it, am I like, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer, is that?

• 19:44Andrew Santino?

  No, because, because what you're doing is not.

• 19:48Andrew Santino?

  It's a tip of the hat, it's not like-

• 19:49Speaker 05

  I don't do, I don't do impressions out of hatred. When you do impressions out of hatred, that was an improv person told me that. You can do a character, and I just said it was the same with an impression. You can do it out of love for somebody, but attach an emotion.

• 20:03Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 20:04Speaker 05

  And find something you like about the person, and that's what I always tried to do. It's, it might be something I, it might not be something I like personally, but I, I'm amazed by the fact that they can do it.

• 20:19Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 20:19Speaker 05

  Is that, that's what I mean. It's like, how do you, oh come on. Like, you were talking about tells with, um, with, uh, with comedians. Like, uh, like-

• 20:30Andrew Santino?

  A rhythm that is very familiar.

• 20:32Speaker 05

  From, from the beginning, and maybe it started with like Jack Parr, but I saw it through Johnny Carson, Leno, Letterman, Bill Maher, the step forward. Like, there's the step forward, like, and the punchline's here.

• 20:46Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  Punchline, right.

• 20:47Andrew Santino?

  They're telling you.

• 20:48Speaker 05

  So you know, it's giving you the information of when to laugh. And so you don't need a swear word, you don't need a curse word.

• 20:56Andrew Santino?

  Right, you can just give it to them.

• 20:56Speaker 05

  Like, if you, if you say effing this, you, you know, after effing, you know? I mean, I can swear on this, but-

• 21:02Andrew Santino?

  Don't, don't, no you can't.

• 21:04Speaker 05

  I knew I could, but I almost don't want to.

• 21:07Andrew Santino?

  Don't do it.

• 21:08Speaker 05

  I shan't.

• 21:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Uh- But it's, but it is, it does give them the, it gives them the, hey, it's right here.

• 21:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, it, it tells you, it's, it's the, it's, it's the tell. It's, but the audience doesn't really, it's, it's subliminal.

• 21:21Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 21:21Speaker 05

  But it lets you know.

• 21:23Andrew Santino?

  Right, but who, I want to know who got pissed at you? Who really got pissed?

• 21:27Speaker 05

  Jim Rome.

• 21:28Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 21:29Speaker 05

  Phenomenal, incredible. Right now, I am not looking at Caliendo in the eyes. I've walked past him a bunch of times and it's like, and not seeing you.

• 21:40Speaker 05

  Like Madden did not like me at the beginning. I I finally made his grandkids laugh. I do it in my act. I've told the story a bunch of times, but it's. I made his grandkids laughed in Dallas at the Four Seasons Hotel and it was like, I get it now. Like it just was a moment for him. Cause if you're not in the, if you're not in the club. You know, NFL guys, football guys, it's, it's like anything. They can make fun of each other, but this guy, I come in and it's like, what's this guy? Five, six, you know, thinks he's, you know, being me. Hey, I see him and then, you know, people hear him. And they think that he's me, but he's not me. And then that confuses the people that don't see either of us.

• 22:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but you, but you, you don't do the Madden because you kinda got.

• 22:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, I would, I didn't do much of it, but now with that movie, that Nicolas Cage movie, I'm like, well, that's gonna open up doing it all the time.

• 22:32Andrew Santino?

  You have to.

• 22:32Speaker 05

  Everybody's gonna talk to me about it. Like, why weren't you cast over Nicolas Cage in this, which is the stupidest.

• 22:39Andrew Santino?

  Why weren't you?

• 22:40Speaker 05

  Well, you know, there's a, there's a whole evolution of it. It was first, I think, Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell was the, and you could, I could see the look from Will Ferrell. He's got the, like, one thing that I, I've noticed in that movie. And just the, the promo for the, you know, the, the teaser trailer for Madden. That, the way they did Cage, like the mannerisms in the body are phenomenal. Like it re, that was almost Chicago.

• 23:02Andrew Santino?

  Phenomenal.

• 23:04Speaker 05

  Phenomenal.

• 23:04Andrew Santino?

  Phenomenal.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Phenomenal.

• 23:06Andrew Santino?

  Oh, is this phenomenal?

• 23:07Speaker 05

  It's double phenomenal.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  But the, so, you know, first of all, they were looking for an A-list type of star. Hugh Jackman, I think, was going to be it at one time. Like, there were rumors of these different. And people along the way would always ask me, why not you over Hugh Jackman? Come on.

• 23:25Andrew Santino?

  I don't know.

• 23:26Speaker 05

  I mean, it's, it's.

• 23:27Andrew Santino?

  No, any given day.

• 23:28Speaker 05

  Any given day. And I could be, yeah. I was almost Wolverine.

• 23:32Andrew Santino?

  You were.

• 23:33Speaker 05

  I was, uh, yeah, I was.

• 23:34Andrew Santino?

  The suit didn't fit? Is that what it was?

• 23:36Speaker 05

  No, uh, I was a little too gruff.

• 23:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 23:40Speaker 05

  A little too tough. They were like, hey, I gotta squint. Although Wolverine in the comics is like a tiny little guy.

• 23:46Andrew Santino?

  Is he really?

• 23:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:47Andrew Santino?

  Well, Wolverine is a very small animal.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:49Andrew Santino?

  The irony being a big man cast for a tiny little animal. Yeah, that is true. It's small. They're small.

• 23:54Speaker 05

  Wolverine is like, like in the, in Deadpool, when they had the little Wolverine, that was like the joke for inside comic people.

• 24:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:01Speaker 05

  That like, oh, that's the real Wolverine, not those lean.

• 24:04Andrew Santino?

  He's five.

• 24:05Speaker 05

  Five three in the comics.

• 24:06Andrew Santino?

  Five three.

• 24:06Speaker 05

  Yeah. Bobby Height. Yeah, that's Kevin Hart. Talk about, talk about Wolverine, man.

• 24:12Speaker 05

  On DraftKings.

• 24:15Speaker 05

  I just find a word or thing they do and like I use like a lot of impressions, it's like in and out.

• 24:20Andrew Santino?

  DraftKings.

• 24:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, snap, snap, clap, here we go. Yeah. What do you think Shaq? I think it's pretty good.

• 24:29Speaker 05

  But I do like to use impressions almost like, uh, like a radio producer pressing a button and sound effects.

• 24:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 05

  I mean, there's some where I like to go way off and do it for a long time. But with that Nicolas Cage thing with him. But the thing is, that's gonna have a lot of young people thinking that that's what Madden sounds like. Cause he's still Nicolas Cage, right?

• 24:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  Here.

• 24:51Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 24:52Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  Hey folks, John Madden here. Boom! So it's gonna be like, well, uh, people talking to me about, you know, you don't sound anything like John Madden. I'm like, I'm, I'm pretty good at the riddles.

• 25:07Andrew Santino?

  It sounds identical. That sounds exactly what I heard as a kid. That's what Madden sounded like to me.

• 25:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, that thing right there.

• 25:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that.

• 25:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, that there.

• 25:14Andrew Santino?

  There.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  There.

• 25:15Andrew Santino?

  There.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  There.

• 25:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 05

  Here, here. Yeah, it's, it's like, it's like almost like you have a ping pong ball stuck in your mouth. And you gotta talk around it. Like the ball is just there and your tongue's going around underneath it. And you're trying to, it's almost like you're trying to balance the ping pong ball inside your mouth with an airflow. But at the same time, you're still trying to communicate.

• 25:38Andrew Santino?

  But I get why you don't, I, it's funny, cause the, the, a lot of these people as time goes on, yeah, their, their voice changes. Their intonation changes, right?

• 25:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 25:47Andrew Santino?

  With TV and time.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  And older people get, they, their voice gets raspier most of the time.

• 25:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 05

  And a lot of times deeper. So, uh.

• 25:55Andrew Santino?

  But you did the, that sounded like the original. Like the old, like as a kid too, like the way that Will Ferrell did Harry Carey as a Chicago guy.

• 26:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:05Andrew Santino?

  I started to only hear Will Ferrell.

• 26:08Speaker 05

  Right.

• 26:08Andrew Santino?

  Instead of, cause I remember Harry didn't always sound that way, but it was always so big.

• 26:13Speaker 05

  Well, did you ever hear John Caponeira? He was the Caponeira.

• 26:16Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 05

  The Caponeira's the, that's the Caponeira.

• 26:19Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Hey, that's the kid in the sombrero. What's he doing over there? That's my opener. Um, so that's that, but that's the fun thing is you take the impression and then make it into a character.

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Like my Madden became the

• 26:37Speaker 05

  I just swallowed my face.

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  That's, that's what it's been, like with Gruden, I can just, he's doing that, man. And not with him at Barstool, it's like

• 26:45Andrew Santino?

  He's doing it so much, he's buying into it.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 26:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Because it's going crazy. And he's the only guy I've ever seen, like he can be wearing a Pizza Hut shirt with a Domino's hat, man. I'll tell you what, we're selling the shit out of this thing, man.

• 27:00Andrew Santino?

  I do, but it is funny because you, it's like you pick an era of an impression and you have to stick to it.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Or you talk about how it changes, or you can, you can do, there is some of that. I mean, uh, I'm trying to think of a, you know, people have done, I, I used to do something like it, but I've seen plenty of people do it since the eras of Pacino. When he was young, when he was younger, he'd just talk kinda like that.

• 27:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 05

  Just very, very, very at the front of the throat, at the front of the, front of the mouth. And then it came down. And then by the time he was, instead of a woman, he was southern somehow. US Army retired.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  I got something in my teeth. The whole movie.

• 27:44Andrew Santino?

  Him playing blind is really what it is.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like, almost the time it is.

• 27:47Andrew Santino?

  It's like when he went, when he goes blind, that's when it became like a

• 27:51Speaker 05

  I'm blind and my sense of taste

• 27:56Speaker 05

  has become greater than I ever thought possible.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  All right, I'm gonna give you one, you tell me who you think this is, because this is as a kid.

• 28:05Speaker 05

  Tracy Morgan.

• 28:06Andrew Santino?

  Got it. I, I would do, I would do impressions of announcers.

• 28:11Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:12Andrew Santino?

  So I have an announcer, but it's a nobody, but it's like 10 different announcers.

• 28:15Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 28:16Andrew Santino?

  So I would say, uh,

• 28:20Andrew Santino?

  Dodgers are up to the plate and that you what's gonna happen there is he's gonna swing away no matter what the call is. It would be like I would take a little bit of

• 28:29Speaker 05

  There's a little Steve Stone.

• 28:30Andrew Santino?

  Yes, a little bit of Stone and then I would try to do

• 28:34Speaker 05

  Then Scully?

• 28:35Andrew Santino?

  Scully, but it but Scully was never that high.

• 28:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, he a long fly ball deep into center field.

• 28:42Andrew Santino?

  Centerfield.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  Centerfield.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  Field, centerfield. But I would steal from all these announcers.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  And now for a little political moment. He would throw those, he would be so much, people would come after him so much the way he used it to get.

• 28:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, he threw in stuff, he'd throw in.

• 28:57Speaker 05

  My friend John Holmberg, who I told you about, the radio guy, he and I are working on coming back with a podcast. We did it for a while, but um, he has that great Scully and he does the thing where he's like, he just goes on diatribes in between balls and strikes.

• 29:12Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's one of my favorite things.

• 29:13Speaker 05

  And it's fantastic.

• 29:14Andrew Santino?

  Father lost his legs at war and that's two strikes at the plate.

• 29:19Speaker 05

  And I'm laughing at this.

• 29:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it would, it would just be like a peeling off of, but that's because as a kid, baseball was like my love, my first love.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  Mine too.

• 29:27Andrew Santino?

  And so I would hear all these different announcers and they all kind of, they had the same thing, which was

• 29:36Speaker 05

  The, the baseball announcer has not evolved.

• 29:38Andrew Santino?

  No, it's the exact same thing.

• 29:39Speaker 05

  A long fly ball deep into centerfield, like, uh, what's his, what's his name, um, from, uh, The Simpsons who does

• 29:48Andrew Santino?

  Hank Azaria?

• 29:49Speaker 05

  Hank Azaria.

• 29:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 05

  He hit on that somewhat with, uh, uh,

• 29:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, bra, uh.

• 29:54Speaker 05

  Are we playing, are we playing password?

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we are, we are. Uh, uh, uh, uh, round, uh, uh, yellow.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  I have a problem with name, I'm

• 30:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I'm so bad.

• 30:02Speaker 05

  I'm 52 and but this might like, maybe it is for you to, but that's my whole game is like, I'll forget the name of an impression I do in the middle of my act. I'll be like, oh, and I start to sweat, I'm like, uh.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Was it Harry Shearer?

• 30:14Speaker 05

  No, it was Hank Azaria.

• 30:15Andrew Santino?

  Hank Azaria did, um.

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Cause Shearer did Vin Scully on SNL as well.

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  He did.

• 30:19Speaker 05

  No, that, that's, but I wasn't thinking Vin Scully. He has, he had the show.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  Brock, Brock Meyer.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  Brock Meyer.

• 30:26Andrew Santino?

  Brock, I got it, I got it.

• 30:27Speaker 05

  And Brock Meyer, I think, talked like that most of the time.

• 30:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was like a tip, it was like a little shout to a few different guys that had that same wild inflection.

• 30:37Speaker 05

  There is that, I don't know why baseball has involved, maybe because they have to fill so much time.

• 30:42Andrew Santino?

  So much time.

• 30:43Speaker 05

  But football announcers, like, I don't think they could do what they did back in the day with Madden and Summerall. When Summerall would do that, "To the twenty, to the twenty-five."

• 30:54Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 30:54Speaker 05

  There's a flag, maybe Al Michaels a little bit.

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  He'd be the only one that could get away with it.

• 30:58Speaker 05

  But, and, and he gets, you know, blasted all the time.

• 31:03Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 31:04Speaker 05

  Uh, because he's not, doesn't have a ton of energy.

• 31:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but I don't, I don't need, I don't need that.

• 31:08Speaker 05

  He was doing this thing, and Holmberg texted me this too the other day, so I know it's true.

• 31:14Speaker 05

  And I, I'd heard it, I only heard it once, but he'd heard it four times. Al Michaels started saying, "The entire arena rising as one." And it was like, that's a Bill Walton. "The entire arena rising as one." And Al Michaels doing it, I'm like waiting for a "Throw it down, big man." "Unbelievable, do you believe in miracles? Yes." So it was like, what, why is he channeling Bill Walton this night?

• 31:41Andrew Santino?

  Cause they pull, I think everybody pulls from something else they've heard, and it's hard to get away from it.

• 31:45Speaker 05

  There is that, but that's such a different, "The entire arena rising as one." That's such a Bill Walton.

• 31:51Andrew Santino?

  Very much, yeah.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Like the, uh, conference, football conference of champions, the NFC, unbelievable.

• 32:01Andrew Santino?

  And by the way, a true statement there, by the way.

• 32:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, right?

• 32:03Andrew Santino?

  NFC is the best.

• 32:04Speaker 05

  Wait, are you Bears guy?

• 32:05Andrew Santino?

  Uh, yeah.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Bears guy, Bears guy?

• 32:06Andrew Santino?

  Chicago Bears, did a little damage there over there against Green Bay slackers. Someone wasn't doing their job, kicking a bunch of bad, bad kicks over there.

• 32:15Speaker 05

  Did you see, did you see what happened between him and LaFleur? That was fantastic.

• 32:19Andrew Santino?

  Fantastic.

• 32:20Speaker 05

  You know that?

• 32:21Andrew Santino?

  Love that. Two seconds in and out.

• 32:23Speaker 05

  In and out, well, not even two seconds. I'd like to put a, I'd like to put a stopwatch on that.

• 32:27Andrew Santino?

  Tell you what I like to do. I'd like to go over to a flower myself, have a little couple of words with them, you know?

• 32:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  Cause I, I, look, I played high school football too.

• 32:34Speaker 05

  What exactly is LaFleur? What is that? The flower?

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's a flower. He's a flower boy, flower girl, as far as I'm concerned, and it's not me being mean about women or nothing, but.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  And why would you?

• 32:44Andrew Santino?

  I don't know.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  We get, we get the ladies.

• 32:46Andrew Santino?

  We do get a lot of ladies, you and I. Well, you know, you're single again, though.

• 32:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's fallen that way.

• 32:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's gonna keep going.

• 32:56Speaker 05

  It's gonna keep going down.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, just the winter weight's gonna come off. I mean, that's the problem. It's like, summer comes, the winter weight will come off, we go to the lake, you know? It'll be nice. I'll get my body back. I'll get my body back.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  Body back? Did you say body back or body bag?

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  I'll get my body bag. Back. Don't worry about it.

• 33:16Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 33:16Andrew Santino?

  Don't worry about it.

• 33:17Speaker 05

  I understand.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  I said on this show before.

• 33:19Speaker 05

  Hold on a second, cut that. You're gonna cut that, right?

• 33:24Andrew Santino?

  My favorite thing about Chicago is, like, when I go home, my,

• 33:30Andrew Santino?

  my biological father will meet, well, he is, it's like so Chicago, it's like painful. He does this, that many Chicago people do, they talk to you as if you're aware of all the people they're talking about. So he does these, like, kinda tree conversations, and I learned it from listening to him about how he'll go, "You know, when grandpa worked at Arlington, my grandpa, he worked at the dog track and the horse track, "When grandpa worked at Arlington, remember Sheila who worked in the window with him on six?" No, of course I don't. "Sheila's son moved to Los Angeles. I'm gonna get you guys together." "I don't know him, Dad. I can't..." "No, but you should meet him. He wants to be in Hollywood too." "Well, you, it's all for you now?"

• 34:10Speaker 05

  Hollywood.

• 34:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's almost, they, they speak in, and that's a very midwesterny thing to be like, "Take him in. She'll give, take him to dinner."

• 34:18Speaker 05

  We'll make connections.

• 34:19Andrew Santino?

  His mi, look, his mother went to school with your aunt. Your aunt leasing him.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  That's why I sent you to ASU, to make connections. You, we paid for all that.

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  You went there for four years.

• 34:31Speaker 05

  Four.

• 34:31Andrew Santino?

  Never forget, okay?

• 34:33Speaker 05

  No.

• 34:33Andrew Santino?

  That was a lot of money. You think that money grows on the trees? We don't got money trees, pal.

• 34:37Speaker 05

  No, and, and the roots, and, and the way it all forms underneath, I mean, it's just, it's not, people think about, you know, the branches. Money, but it's underneath.

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  It's underneath, it's down.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  Going into the soil.

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  Yes, down there.

• 34:50Speaker 05

  Grabbing onto the minerals. It's a lot of work.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 34:57Andrew Santino?

  Hey, this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is incredible. It's the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. I've talked about him so much, man. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is going to give you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. They're incredible. You've probably heard me talk about Squarespace. If you haven't, you're new to the show because the SEO tools on there help you get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions. This way, you're going to show up all the time, much more often for people that are looking for stuff that you are offering, whatever that may be.

• 35:33Andrew Santino?

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• 36:10Andrew Santino?

  Yes, I am a proud, proud of the Bears. Hopefully, this will be out after what happens.

• 36:15Speaker 05

  I, my son texted me, when that game was on, I go, it's, it's done. I go, second half is going to be bad. The Packers seem to fall apart a lot in the second half. I grew up in Wisconsin, I grew up outside of Milwaukee. And I was like, I just think Caleb Williams, he doesn't make a lot of the easy throws, but then he makes these crazy, great plays.

• 36:36Andrew Santino?

  Unbelievable throws.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  Fantastic moments. And as soon as I saw a couple of them, I go, and when, when Green Bay, they missed the extra point.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, missed two other kicks, too.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  I was like, ah, it's over. You can't, you can't do that because Caleb Williams just has something going, especially this year.

• 36:50Andrew Santino?

  He did. And Loveland, shout out to Loveland, one of the best rookies I think I've ever seen. I mean, that kid can catch anything in the sky. It's just, it's, yeah, the game was great. It was amazing to watch. The, the roller coaster we had at my house, I was like. So upset, so happy, so upset, losing my mind.

• 37:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just felt like, I, I don't know, in the first half, my son said to me, he goes, it's over. I go, it's not over. I go, this is, I've just seen this before. And, uh, because the Packers didn't have the pass rush.

• 37:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 05

  And especially when Caleb Williams would get out in that open field and he would just do some crazy, and I was going, there's too much of the crazy stuff.

• 37:28Andrew Santino?

  Too much crazy stuff going on. Did you raise your kid, now, Packers has been passed down or no?

• 37:33Speaker 05

  No, we kinda just, I don't know, I was working with the NFL stuff a lot during the time, so it wasn't really picking a team.

• 37:39Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 37:39Speaker 05

  Cause I would meet players and no players, and then I had my son meet people. And that was, that's always my goal, is like, when we came to CU.

• 37:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 05

  Like, my son, and this is not, this is gonna sound like a backhanded compliment, it's 100% uh, uh,

• 37:53Andrew Santino?

  I'll take it.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Not that.

• 37:54Andrew Santino?

  Hit me.

• 37:54Speaker 05

  He goes, he would always call you that Andrew guy. That Andrew guy, that Andrew guy, he went to ASU, he's like, that Andrew guy. But he knew who you were, which is what is important with him.

• 38:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 38:04Speaker 05

  He was a smart kid, he's a very smart kid.

• 38:06Andrew Santino?

  I could tell.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  But, he doesn't like, he goes, uh, who's that Jimmy guy at night? Like, like, like, Fallon or Kimmel? He goes, I don't know. But he doesn't, he doesn't care about, he can tell you the 12th man on the bench of the New Orleans Pelicans. But he has, like, in Hollywood, it's like, he, maybe he's just decided to do that to me.

• 38:26Andrew Santino?

  It's cause it's you.

• 38:27Speaker 05

  It's my business.

• 38:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 38:29Speaker 05

  But he, it's like, he'll, he'll talk about that guy, uh, like, although he does know Shane Gillis. That's like, because he likes Shane Gillis so much more than me.

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No!

• 38:39Speaker 05

  I text, like, Gillis followed me on Instagram, and I said something, I go, my son went to go see you, and he likes you more than me. And he just, like, I'd never met Shane, I just found it very funny, but it was like, The people my son likes, I'm like, he's got good taste in comedy. He likes Shane Gillis and that Andrew guy.

• 38:59Andrew Santino?

  And that Andrew guy, yeah. Well, you raised, I mean, he came under you, watching you go through your career. Getting raised under that has got to be a little wild. It's, it's, it's hard to.

• 39:08Speaker 05

  My kids didn't pay attention that much.

• 39:10Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, they just like the free stuff that it gets you. I think that's what, you know, my daughter and with the, you know, agents and stuff like that. I'll get tickets, even if I had to pay for them, I get really good tickets to things like Harry Styles.

• 39:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sure.

• 39:25Speaker 05

  And like, like really good stuff. That's why I stay just enough above the fray and in the, you know, public, uh, ether, I guess, in the ether. To, so I can still ask for things.

• 39:39Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 39:40Speaker 05

  My kids are like, my son meets like lots of, uh, pro athletes and stuff like that because they all know me from coming up and.

• 39:47Andrew Santino?

  NFL on Fox.

• 39:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, NFL on Fox and coaches know me even more than, like, it's weird because when you think about, uh, you know, some of the players, some of the players are like 21, 22.

• 39:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're kids.

• 39:59Speaker 05

  It's unbelievable when you meet somebody and you go, my God, you're really young.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're children. I mean, they're men out there on the field, but then you meet them, you're like, oh, you're a young guy.

• 40:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, and as we get older, they get younger, so it is funny to watch.

• 40:10Speaker 05

  52.

• 40:11Andrew Santino?

  I'm 42, but I feel like any of the pro athletes I know, I meet them and I forget sometimes. I'm like, oh God, yeah, you're 20.

• 40:16Speaker 05

  You're, you're at the end of like the fa, you're done. You're, you could only play.

• 40:21Andrew Santino?

  I'm in.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  You could play for the Rams or the Steelers.

• 40:24Andrew Santino?

  You think I could sign up?

• 40:25Speaker 05

  I think.

• 40:26Andrew Santino?

  They still take me?

• 40:26Speaker 05

  You're, you got the height. Pretty good wingspan. What are the measurements on the way out? We'll, we'll check your, uh.

• 40:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, check my stats.

• 40:33Speaker 05

  Seems like you have the intangibles.

• 40:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. My 40 is pretty good, too.

• 40:37Speaker 05

  Really?

• 40:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I get around like an eight, eight second 40, eight and a half second 40. I'm getting down there.

• 40:42Speaker 05

  Have you, have you tried to, have you tried to run a 40 in the last?

• 40:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh my God.

• 40:47Speaker 05

  My son was playing flag football. I tried to run a 40. This is maybe, this is probably eight, eight years ago, something like that. I was fairly fast as a kid. I ran, I ran, I ran just under five. I was a running back. I tore my, tore my leg. I was probably a four nine.

• 41:05Andrew Santino?

  You tore ACL?

• 41:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:06Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 41:07Speaker 05

  And, um. But I was, compared to fast people, I wasn't fast, but I, you know, growing up in Waukesha, Wisconsin, I thought I was fast.

• 41:15Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Until you see what fast really is.

• 41:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 05

  But, uh, where was I going with that?

• 41:23Andrew Santino?

  Running a 40.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  Oh, running, then I tried to run the 40 when my son was playing flag football, and all the slow kids on the team beat me. Like the 12-year-old, like the 11-year-old fat kid, like,

• 41:37Speaker 05

  he's chunk from the Goonies. I, you know, I'm, I'm doing the trouble. I'm like, and I, I get the time, I did it one of my, one of my own ran, and the guy's like 6.5. I'm like, 6.5?

• 41:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 05

  That's two, you know, almost, that's, I'm second and a half slower at least. I'm like, that's, let's do this again. Let's shorten it.

• 42:01Andrew Santino?

  Give me a 20. Can I do 20?

• 42:03Speaker 05

  I, I can't, and 40 yards when you're young doesn't seem like much.

• 42:07Andrew Santino?

  No, it's a fair.

• 42:07Speaker 05

  When you're 40 something years old, it's like, it's like 60 feet, 6 inches to the plate. When you're, when you're a kid pitching, you're like, okay. You get back out there and you realize how far it actually is. Try and shoot an NBA 3-pointer.

• 42:21Andrew Santino?

  It's nuts.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  You're like, I can't see, can, can I get my readers? Like, what is going on here? Like, all that stuff that you just, as a kid, I could just pick up a bat and hit, I could do whatever. I try to swing a bat now, and it just, I don't, there's, the whip isn't there.

• 42:38Andrew Santino?

  No, you throw your back out.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm 50, you know, last time I tried was like 45 or something. I picked up and they're like, man, you can rake. I was like, bike was barely getting it out of the infield. Like, I'm hitting the sweet spot on the bat, and I'm like, I go,

• 42:51Andrew Santino?

  Loopers?

• 42:52Speaker 05

  And it's just, yeah, it's just doing this. I'm like, I got a hold of that one.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  It could be, it's to the second baseman.

• 43:02Speaker 00

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• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  That's, see, that's, that's Will, right?

• 44:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was close. That was kind of in between. I was trying to, holy cow, if a guy, that's more actual Harry.

• 44:37Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 44:38Speaker 05

  If there's a guy on first base and a guy on second base, who, who's on first? It's been so long since I did it. Like, and then that, that, the Will was the, hey!

• 44:50Andrew Santino?

  Will was so much more like, hey!

• 44:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. My grace, one of the greatest cops. He would do, it's almost like painful when he would do it.

• 44:59Speaker 05

  Jeff Goldblum. If I was a pie and I was on a conveyor belt, would you eat me?

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's right. If the moon were made of cheese, would you hate us? And he, but that, I always heard that as a kid, so I remember hearing Harry and being like, that is the funniest version of Harry.

• 45:21Speaker 05

  Yes, I think, I think, but that's what Will Ferrell does. I mean, Will Ferrell didn't do the best George W. Bush.

• 45:25Andrew Santino?

  Not even close.

• 45:26Speaker 05

  He did the funniest.

• 45:27Andrew Santino?

  Funniest one, yes.

• 45:28Speaker 05

  And, and his was that college, his was the college, um, frat boy.

• 45:34Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 45:34Speaker 05

  Bush.

• 45:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, bad boy, but like, party and drinking.

• 45:36Speaker 05

  Mine was like a Bush as a little kid. So it's like, it was like, he was amazed by everything. Like, that sounds, uh, sounds pretty good, man.

• 45:47Speaker 05

  Just, uh, you know. Subtil, which I guess in subtile, the B is more subtile than I am saying it right now.

• 46:00Andrew Santino?

  God, that's so good.

• 46:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was one, I mean, that was like, that was back in the hey, I used to work on these so hard.

• 46:06Andrew Santino?

  Do you, when you're working out stuff, when you're really working it out, are you doing it to a small room or you're just doing it on your own?

• 46:13Speaker 05

  I'm, you gotta do it a bunch, and I do it on the radio and bounce it off of people.

• 46:16Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 46:17Speaker 05

  It's like when you bounce it off people, you can bail, you can bail it out and people will give you feedback, cause you can't always hear what you're, uh, what you're getting wrong.

• 46:24Andrew Santino?

  Is there another impressionist that you kind of look to for the help for stuff? If you're like, hey?

• 46:28Speaker 05

  Well, that John Holmberg and I, we go back and forth.

• 46:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's like.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  We go, cause we think very, he's like an evil version of me and it's, he has no holes barred and, uh, but we, we've developed quite a few together, um, and, and, you know, it's just, but there are other people, I'm trying to think along the way, there are, have been some other people. But I always take the notes from, like, I'll work with somebody, um, or I'll meet somebody that worked with, I met somebody who worked with Bill Walton. They'll be like, Bill says this and does this and do this. And then, and then I'll listen for that even closer.

• 47:03Andrew Santino?

  Cause those phrases are cues into like.

• 47:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, they, and that's what, what people always say. Everybody has, like you said, those beats that they, it's, and for, for me, even getting into an impression, there are the little starters. There's the, with the gold, ooh, yes, yes, aye?

• 47:23Speaker 05

  Another vol, ooh. But there are those, wait a second, wait a second.

• 47:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  But you, you find what they are.

• 47:31Andrew Santino?

  What's the starter for Madden?

• 47:33Speaker 05

  You know, you know, you know, there's a, and, and he used to do this thing. Yeah, and he would do, he would yes and.

• 47:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:40Speaker 05

  Whoever he was working with. And, and that's, when that's really what it is.

• 47:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 05

  So that, that's what, uh.

• 47:46Andrew Santino?

  I want to, give me the starter for Morgan Freeman.

• 47:48Speaker 05

  Ah, yes.

• 47:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:51Speaker 05

  Or truth of the matter is, sometimes a man decides to talk the way he does, and sometimes it just happens.

• 47:59Andrew Santino?

  Um, it's unreal. And I mean, honestly, it's, and, and by the way, Morgan Freeman sounded the same for thirty years, forty years.

• 48:06Speaker 05

  He has age, though. You can, you can hear, no, he actually, if you listen, you just hear a lot of older Morgan Freeman stuff. If you hear him now, you can tell. And, uh, do you know who Josh Robert Thompson is?

• 48:16Andrew Santino?

  I don't think so.

• 48:16Speaker 05

  Cause he, he loops for him some, and he's got probably the best.

• 48:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, this, the guy who does him. Yes, yes. I do know who that is.

• 48:23Speaker 05

  He, he, he was even telling me one time about how Morgan Freeman sounds so much older, but we don't hear it all the time.

• 48:29Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 48:29Speaker 05

  Sometimes you hear a little bit of it, you know, it's a little bit up here, and there's not as much power behind it. But it's, we all think about that, uh, if I climb, if I climb through five hundred yards of the filthiest slop I can't even imagine. We think Shawshank is it.

• 48:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 05

  Trying to think of some of the other starters for, for people, um, well, Gruden is, I tell you what, man.

• 48:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 05

  Like, you can go anything. I tell you what, man, that sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

• 48:58Speaker 05

  I'm nodding this, I'm nodding my, there's, you see that microphone, man? Tell you what.

• 49:02Andrew Santino?

  Tell what? I was, I was just gonna, I was gonna ask, what's the starter for Robin Williams?

• 49:06Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 49:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 05

  Oh, my gosh. Oh, no, who knew, huh? Kind of an amazing. Thing, but a lot of people did the over the top Robin Williams. What I went for was the one where you grow beard and win the Academy Award.

• 49:20Speaker 05

  Just get quieter. It's an amazing thing, isn't it?

• 49:23Andrew Santino?

  Did you know Robin?

• 49:24Speaker 05

  No, and he was, his son came out to see me in San Francisco. And he was gonna bring Robin out to meet me. He's like, he got, he's like that. I don't know if I've ever seen anybody do my dad better than you. I was like, thanks, that's, that's the coolest thing. He goes, I'm bringing him out. And he was gonna bring him the next day, and then they didn't come. And I was like, heartbroken. Then two or three days later, I see Robin Williams in rehab.

• 49:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, man.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, so I was like, I was still mad.

• 49:51Andrew Santino?

  You should be.

• 49:51Speaker 05

  You should have. I could have saved it.

• 49:54Andrew Santino?

  You, it could have been on you.

• 49:55Speaker 05

  It could have been, I could have been your Patch Adams.

• 49:59Andrew Santino?

  I saw a different Robin when I saw him return to the Comedy Store. When he came back to the Comedy Store after years and years of not coming back, it was a different Robin.

• 50:07Speaker 05

  Really?

• 50:07Andrew Santino?

  Quiet. He was very like pensive and it was interesting because as a kid, I, all I would see was how explosive he was. And then when he came back, it was just at a different time in his life. And it's so, it was so different to watch him. It wasn't the same.

• 50:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:22Andrew Santino?

  Comedy, it wasn't even the same rhythm of comedy or the same kind of like, uh, style. It was like a different guy. It was kind of, not a bad thing, but it just, it, you're like, oh yeah, we all, comics especially, we all keep changing. But you saw him change dramatically.

• 50:35Speaker 05

  That and less cocaine.

• 50:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, much, much less cocaine.

• 50:38Speaker 05

  With less cocaine, that's a kind of stepping back.

• 50:42Andrew Santino?

  He did, yeah. This, the biting the lip thing is what he does a lot too, that, yeah.

• 50:47Speaker 05

  Yes, you gotta just think about it for a second. It's a wonderful thing, you know?

• 50:54Speaker 05

  I'll just be over here.

• 50:57Andrew Santino?

  Who could you never get?

• 50:58Speaker 05

  Lots of them.

• 50:59Andrew Santino?

  Who's the one that you always tried to, you were like, God, I wish I could get it, but it's, it doesn't work?

• 51:05Speaker 05

  Who is, uh...

• 51:09Speaker 05

  I don't, I, I mean, I mean, there's just so many that I can't do.

• 51:16Speaker 05

  Chris Berman took me forever because it just turned into Al Pacino. When they're close to somebody.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  That always makes it tough. I'm trying to think of somebody. Um, Jack Black I hit every once in a while. And I can't figure out how to continue, keep it there.

• 51:28Andrew Santino?

  To get it back?

• 51:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like, I'll get it. Dude, dude, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. See, it's in there.

• 51:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 05

  It's in there, and you gotta get the Rs.

• 51:38Andrew Santino?

  Ladies.

• 51:38Speaker 05

  Dude.

• 51:40Speaker 05

  Of the Kung Fu Panda. Ladies and gentlemen.

• 51:45Andrew Santino?

  That is it.

• 51:45Speaker 05

  It's there and then it goes in and out, but I don't work. I have to just.

• 51:51Speaker 05

  Do I have to. It's repetition.

• 51:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:54Speaker 05

  I have to do it over and over and over and I can't if I can't think of a really good bit. I'm just like, well. I don't I don't work on that. I'm just like, I'll just do social media things and just do two words.

• 52:05Andrew Santino?

  Ah, yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 05

  That's kind of what I'm.

• 52:06Andrew Santino?

  Well, if you're doing it for the stage, like if you're doing it for the show. You don't you write the bit. With the person in mind or you'll write the bit and then try to.

• 52:14Speaker 05

  I try to make an observation. About the person and then act it out and then take it to wherever that takes me. So, for example. Uh, Pacino. He he um. They teach you in acting to be curious. Like you don't really you know the script, but you're not supposed to know what's coming.

• 52:33Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 52:33Speaker 05

  But he takes that to the next level. He's like. Okay. So, uh, what happens here? Well, you're turning on a light switch. Wait a second.

• 52:43Speaker 05

  You mean, I flip a switch over here? And a light goes on over there? Oh.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  That sorcery.

• 52:53Speaker 05

  Or yells in movies for no reason. So that's like I cast him as librarian. That was the bit I originally did.

• 52:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 05

  So it's like, what? What is their persona and how can I? Take it out and make it something else. So, for example, in my act. Or even, you know, when I'm doing. Uh, you know, publicity or whatever. Morgan Freeman can narrate anything. A joke doesn't work and that's when Frank realized he needed a better punchline. See, what he should have done was gone from this to that. Oh, yes, that would have made it a lot better, wouldn't it? Ooh. I was sitting over here still somewhere. I'm trying to laugh and it's not happening. So it's those what you know, that's kind of my cheat code is just go between voices. So the rest of my the the show or Trump will try to, I'll explain it. I'll make it better. I'm gonna make it better. I'm gonna make it. So much better. What do you think, Joe? Folks. I don't even know we're doing this. Come on.

• 53:44Speaker 05

  Where are we? My my joke with Biden is I've ne- he's the only guy I've ever seen listen with his eyes. Like, Mr. President.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Hey, how are you? Come on. What are you doing? The guy at the thing, I don't have to tell you. You did have to tell us, you're the president. I would have told you, it wasn't your turn. Well, guess what? It is again.

• 54:06Speaker 05

  I'm back. And that's how I kinda like, I kinda, like, I like to stay in the middle in terms of politics and just, I like to make fun of everybody. The tough thing is, audiences are so narrow nowadays, except for the super, superstars and politics. That's why I do the politicians. Right. Like, the presidents. Like, I do those because everybody knows them. Right. But if I was to try and do, uh, Saul Goodman, I can kinda, "Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do." "Hi, I'm Saul Goodman." Like, there's, I can get that, you would know who it is, but that's all I can say, but at the same time, like, you do that in a show and like, ninety percent of the audience doesn't know what it is, even though it's like, my favorite show. Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 05

  So, it's, it's one of those weird, it's those weird things where, and that's why sports works so well, because most people that know a sport know most sports. Yeah. And if you do a Charles Barkley, that guy's a knucklehead. He's really, really bad in everything he does. It's really ridiculous. That's what I said to him. I said, "Calladino has no idea..." There's a story that I, I kept quiet for the longest time. Because I did, Charles Barkley had told me. He goes, "You know, John Madden wanted to sue you." And I go, "I know." He's like, "I talked him out of it." I was like, "How did that go?" He's like, "Well, he called me, he called me and said, 'This Caliendo, he's, he's a problem. We gotta, we gotta get him.'" It's like, because I'd done these Dish Network commercials years ago,

• 55:32Speaker 05

  and I did impressions of them on the commercials. And Madden, and he probably was in the right, like, he's like, even though you could tell it wasn't him, but it was like, "Hey, uh, they're using our likenesses to try and sell this stuff." And... To me, it was kind of, it was definitely parody, so you could tell, but at the same time, you're trying to sell something, so it's in a gray area.

• 55:55Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 55:56Speaker 05

  Um, but Madden didn't like it at all. He just didn't like me and he didn't know me. The only guy who didn't care really was Dr. Phil at the time, and.

• 56:03Andrew Santino?

  And he doesn't care. Adam does him live. He couldn't care less, yeah.

• 56:06Speaker 05

  Although one time, Dr. Phil was doing a promo, I was, I don't think I was dressed as Dr. Phil for that. Maybe I was dressed as Dr. Phil, but, no, I wasn't on that one. The first time I met Dr. Phil, he comes and he's like, he's like, "So you're, uh, so you're doing me here?" And he just grabs me like a Vulcan nerve pitch. He's like, "I think it's pretty good." But he did a, he did a sketch with me at the Super Bowl, you know, 15 years ago, where I'm doing, I'm going, I'm like, "Did you know?" And I'm just going off, and then he come, Dr. Phil comes walking in behind me, I'm like, "And that's what, oh, boy."

• 56:40Andrew Santino?

  Wait, so did Charles really stop Madden from suing you?

• 56:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, so he told, he never told anybody the story, but then, with the Kelsey Brothers on a podcast, Barclay told the world about that, and I was like, "Okay, now I can tell him talking about that story." Cause I'd never asked Charles, I was too scared to ask Charles, like, "Can I talk about this?" But he never talked about it.

• 57:03Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  And then he did talk about it, and I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna start talking about it now." But Madden, he did want to sue, then there was counter suits and stuff. I was, I had myself indemnified from the beginning, cause I was like, "I don't know if he can do this, but I will take the money."

• 57:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but that's on DirecTV, not on you.

• 57:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it was Dish Network, but it was back in the time.

• 57:20Andrew Santino?

  I, I mentioned their only competitor. That's so funny.

• 57:22Speaker 05

  Well, and then, it's funny, cause then recently, there was that Barry Katz thing going around where Barry's telling the story, "Listen, so Frank Caliendo, he, he gets this deal, this commercial, and I, I said, 'How much would you do it for?' And he's like, 'A dollar.' I'm like, 'You would do this for a dollar? I'm gonna get you more money.'" So I went to the people, and Dish Network, I don't know if it's around anymore, so maybe look it up. I don't know if it's around anymore. And he was telling, I think he was telling, who was he telling it to?

• 57:56Andrew Santino?

  It was another, it was a comedian, wasn't it?

• 57:58Speaker 05

  It wasn't Swartzen. Trying to think, but who, he's like, and so, so I said, "There's more than a dollar here." So I go and I come back and I tell Frank, it's fifty dollars. I got you fifty dollars. And Frank's like, I'll take it, man. And I'm like, I just think there's more money. And I just, I don't know what it was. But there was something inside of me. That told me there was a lot more money. And then so I come back and it comes back and it's two hundred million dollars.

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Like, the gist of the story was a hundred percent correct. The, the numbers were not right. But it was so funny, the way he told the story, for people who don't know, is a legendary comedy manager. But the way he told the story is like, so, let me tell you the story.

• 58:48Speaker 05

  I'm, I was working with Frank Caliendo at the time. You know, he does the voices, he's very good. And I don't know if this company's around anymore, but Pizza Hut.

• 59:00Speaker 05

  So Frank said, I want to do a Pizza Hut commercial. And I said, I'd love to get to that, man. That would be incredible. And I go, I'm gonna talk to him. So I talked to him. And they, they offered him one pizza. Frank says, I'll take it. I said, I think there's more pizza there, man.

• 59:18Speaker 05

  So now, I go back and forth and I come back and I get him, I get him fifty pizzas and a bunch of money. And Frank says, I'll take it. I said, I don't think so. I said, I think I can get you more. And now, I come back the last time, I'm like, you're not gonna believe this, Frank. He's like, what did you get me? I go, you fucking own Pizza Hut.

• 59:40Speaker 05

  You're the biggest Pizza Hut franchise owner in the history of the world.

• 59:48Andrew Santino?

  There are people that don't know, you have to see the original Barry Katz. Who's it with? Did you look it up? I'm trying to find it. God, it's so funny.

• 59:56Speaker 05

  But the, but the gist of the story was kinda correct, but he goes, Frank had never even made twenty-five thousand dollars. I canceled, I canceled another gig that was over fifty at the time. But people, like, I don't like to talk about the, like, I've never been one that talks about the money.

• 1:00:12Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  But I was like, he's making it sound like, he wasn't doing it on purpose. He's making it to have himself sound good, but he was making me sound pretty dumb.

• 1:00:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but he was, he was doing it to make him be like, in managers, they can really do it.

• 1:00:25Speaker 05

  They can do anything.

• 1:00:28Speaker 05

  You can, you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it.

• 1:00:33Speaker 05

  Dane Cook.

• 1:00:35Speaker 05

  I was working with Dane for many years and he's like, I want to do a 5,000 seat theater. I said, Dane, you're gonna sell out Mars. You're gonna be interplanetary. You're gonna be the first interplanetary comedian. Elon Musk, nobody even knew yet what he was gonna do, like try and colonize Mars. He was ahead of the game.

• 1:01:03Andrew Santino?

  Did he, he repped you for how long?

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  Hmm, quite a few years.

• 1:01:08Andrew Santino?

  Do you, are you one of those guys that stuck with someone for the, for your whole career?

• 1:01:12Speaker 05

  I was with him for a long time, yeah. I mean, I just, he was great for me.

• 1:01:17Speaker 05

  To a certain point that I was just kinda like, I don't, I don't know.

• 1:01:20Andrew Santino?

  Do you still have rep now or you do?

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  No, I just have an agent. I mean, I just, people try to manage, but I, I, in a book, my brother works for me and he kinda advances everything and, and books travel and everything like that. So I'm like, well, I can always get a hold of my brother.

• 1:01:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's my brother.

• 1:01:35Speaker 05

  Like, if it's Saturday and, you know, a flight goes down, he's not, you know, in Malibu right now.

• 1:01:42Andrew Santino?

  Right, right. Or dealing with 50 other clients, yeah.

• 1:01:45Speaker 05

  But it's not like my brother, my brother's not my manager. I wouldn't have him make, um, um, entertainment decisions, but...

• 1:01:55Andrew Santino?

  Administrative, you need him.

• 1:01:56Speaker 05

  And that's, that's a big part of why you're paying a manager for them to do all that.

• 1:02:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Speaker 05

  And do you have management?

• 1:02:01Andrew Santino?

  I haven't had a manager in, uh, God, it's gotta be eight years now or something like that.

• 1:02:05Speaker 05

  It's like, if you're not good at the business side of things, or if you don't understand how to get yourself, or you don't have somebody you can trust, they're, they're great or fine.

• 1:02:15Andrew Santino?

  They're helpful.

• 1:02:16Speaker 05

  But, and they contain the agents with, you know, a lot of times agents will have terrible ideas and the manager will be like, this is a bad, like an agent, I always tell people, the agent, the idea behind an agent is like, we're gonna get you every piece of work in the world. And the manager's job is like, we're gonna shape your career.

• 1:02:30Andrew Santino?

  Correct, yeah.

• 1:02:30Speaker 05

  So, if you kinda know what you want to do, and I just wanted to do live dates, I was just kinda like, well, I don't know why I need that right now.

• 1:02:39Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  I tried to have a couple. I had another really good one, a couple, but I tried, cause they would ask me, do you have management? I'm like, no. And then they wanted to work with me, then they got annoyed with me, cause my brother did everything. And like, if somebody did something, I'd be like, well, I'd get mad if somebody booked something poorly. And be like, well, my brother, let's just have my brother do that and you just make entertainment decisions. And I actually with Tim Sarkis, I had that. He was great and uh, his office was great and he's.

• 1:03:09Speaker 05

  But I was like, at a certain point, I was like, I'm just doing the road. He goes, I get it.

• 1:03:14Andrew Santino?

  But at the beginning, when you like, you know.

• 1:03:17Speaker 05

  I couldn't even get on Comedy Central and Barry got me into rooms with people.

• 1:03:21Andrew Santino?

  I like, you didn't get a half hour out of them or?

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  I did, yeah. I had that back in the, back in the day. I was trying to get on Make Me Laugh and I couldn't even get on that show Make Me Laugh and that was on Comedy Central.

• 1:03:32Andrew Santino?

  What about the Mad TV SNL world?

• 1:03:35Speaker 05

  I went to audition for, I never auditioned for SNL.

• 1:03:38Andrew Santino?

  You never did?

• 1:03:39Speaker 05

  No, because I went to LA and I had like such a crazy LA experience where everybody just started offering me tons of money. Cause I would do like 50 impressions in five minutes and I would do it all. We called it the five minutes of fury. I don't remember what it was, but it was kind of my act condensed.

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Speaker 05

  And it was just going from impression to impression to impression and it just blew away rooms. And I would go in there and they're like, uh, we're gonna offer you a deal. Like people were offering me, the WB offered me a deal in the room. NBC offered me a deal. The president of NBC that week was a guy named Scott Sassa.

• 1:04:14Andrew Santino?

  That week is great.

• 1:04:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. He's like, do you want me to put you on Saturday Night Live? I was like, my answer was it would be an option. So after that meeting, Barry says to me, he goes, I can't believe you've said that. I'm like, what? He goes, the president of NBC asked you if you wanted to be put on Saturday Night Live and you said it would be an option. I go, yeah, but you told me never show my cards in a meeting. He goes, yeah, but I didn't think you could fucking do it.

• 1:04:44Speaker 05

  But I was like, I, you know. Hammond, Daryl Hammond was there already.

• 1:04:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Speaker 05

  And Jimmy Fallon had just been cast.

• 1:04:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:04:52Speaker 05

  So I was like, well, I'd be third fiddle at best, you know, if I, and I didn't really have any live experience. I was just doing standup. So I took a deal with Warner Brothers. That was the chicken deal. Like, you remember Chicken, Michael Roof?

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  And they put us together in a show called Hype that was more like tripe. Uh, but we were, we were, uh, you know, the whole night was, uh, hype night on the WB. Three weeks into the, uh, season. The WB Sunday. I'm like, uh. The WB Sunday's back. It's not hype night anymore. It's back to Steve Harvey, I guess.

• 1:05:30Speaker 05

  So, uh, so he, I got a bunch of stuff and then they, I went to Mad, I talked about this with Bobby too. Last time I was on him. I got a deal from Fox behind the scenes and like, can you, we, do you come do Mad TV? Cause I'd auditioned for Mad TV that first time I went out there before I did that show. I, that was a show that just, you know, kinda went by the wayside. Wasn't very good. It was trying to do, it was trying to be comedy. Right. As opposed to being comedy. And, um, Mad TV, I didn't even audition the second time. I was just, I was just blown away. The room in the first time, they're like, we'll just, we'll just offer you the show. And I took the offer and then Fox gave me something to do that. And then behind the scenes, the NFL on Fox,

• 1:06:13Speaker 05

  uh, in a different thing, Jimmy Kimmel was still there and they were bringing me in every once in a while. I'm like, well, this is getting me more play than anything at Mad TV. Right. Cause Mad TV, very good, incredible cast, um, great writers, but they, they would always dumb it down. Yeah. And you're like, what do we, why are we dumbing everything down? And because the demo was like 14 year old boys. I'm like, but I'm 30. Right. Like, I just don't know. That's not what I thought this was. And it wasn't always like that. It was closer to the Ben Stiller show when it started. Yeah. And it just devolved down to, and Fox never had any money for it because their, their network programming was always in the, the dumps. Yeah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 05

  So they had cartoons and they were just, they couldn't promote Mad TV because they had to promote, they were just fighting so hard for their shows to stay above water. And Saturday Night Live, you're never gonna beat it because it can, they can do, they can change the show that moment. Yeah. They can change the show an hour, 30 seconds before the show. They can change things during the show if they need to. And Weekend Update's always gonna be the most topical thing. So you're never gonna beat that. You, so, um.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  So that was, that was the route. So I, I never ended up even trying to audition for SNL because I did say to Barry too, I was like, well, listen, if the president of the NBC tries to put you on, it doesn't go through Marcy Klein and Lorne and all the people there, they don't want that. They want to find you too.

• 1:07:40Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:07:40Speaker 05

  So I knew that was gonna be.

• 1:07:42Andrew Santino?

  Another challenge.

• 1:07:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. And there have been, you know, there have been so many great people that you're like that Elon Gold, Godfrey.

• 1:07:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 05

  Uh, people that you're like, this person would have destroyed on SNL.

• 1:07:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:54Speaker 05

  And you're like, I can't believe, did you ever audition?

• 1:07:56Andrew Santino?

  I tested. Yeah.

• 1:07:57Speaker 05

  Oh, you tested?

• 1:07:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I tested. I auditioned, flew back here, then I flew back and I tested and then, uh, um, it was me and Dan Soder. Uh, do you know Soder?

• 1:08:07Speaker 05

  I think I heard this. Yes, yes.

• 1:08:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. And then, uh, it was me, Dan Soder and Pete Davidson.

• 1:08:12Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:12Andrew Santino?

  And you know how that story went?

• 1:08:14Speaker 05

  I don't.

• 1:08:16Speaker 05

  A lot of ups and downs in that story.

• 1:08:18Andrew Santino?

  Lauren flew me back.

• 1:08:19Speaker 05

  Really big peak.

• 1:08:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, Lauren flew me back. Yeah, he flew me, I did it. I talked about it on Dana's show with, with Spade and, uh, Lauren flew me back and that's when my agent was like, you got it. They don't fly you back unless you're gonna, gonna, I flew back, I was in the hotel all day and then supposed to have like lunch with Lauren or like a meet him in the afternoon and then hours go by and I went in there and he was just very blunt and nice about it, to be honest. It was kinda weird. My experience was wonderful.

• 1:08:42Speaker 05

  So what he, I flew you out here to tell you, you didn't get it.

• 1:08:45Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right. Yeah. He said, you're not the puzzle piece I'm looking for. And I, and I, and he said, you're gonna have a great career, you're gonna be just fine.

• 1:08:52Speaker 05

  See, we have, we have, um, we've got a Santa Claus puzzle. And you're like the dogs playing poker.

• 1:09:01Andrew Santino?

  You know an advent calendar? It's already been opened. You're one of the numbers that have already been opened. He, but it was a partially, the, the irony of there is I had already done television. I'd done a shitty sitcom and I'd done some other pilots and I think he wanted someone that, I mean, Pete was a kid. Pete signed up when he was 20 or something. I don't even remember.

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  Nine, I believe.

• 1:09:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. But so I remember me and Soder the same age and it was like, well, these guys are kind of, we weren't by any means developed, but we were much further along in the process of TV and film and blah, blah, blah. So I think he, that also was a little bit of a turn off to him.

• 1:09:34Speaker 05

  By the way, um, Robert Downey Jr. won two, it's a, you just gotta burp out the punchlines, but.

• 1:09:44Speaker 05

  The funny thing is that Robert Downey Jr., actually Tony Stark, is Dr. Evil. Throw me your frickin' bone here, please. And if you add a little air, quite frankly, throw me a frickin' bone here.

• 1:10:00Speaker 05

  It's a dead a trip.

• 1:10:02Andrew Santino?

  That is kinda, I think people don't know that Dr. Evil was Mike's impression of Lauren. I mean, people have talked about it since then.

• 1:10:09Speaker 05

  The layperson doesn't always, like, some people, like, you'll see somebody in the comments, you know Dr. Evil is, yeah, all comics know that.

• 1:10:16Andrew Santino?

  We know, yeah, we know. But it's funny, because then you find out, as you go on, that Mike, I don't know him, I'm speaking like I know him, but you find out that he kind of has infused a lot of characters from his life in all of his stuff. And you'll go, oh, I know who that is.

• 1:10:30Speaker 05

  Personal impressions are just, they become characters.

• 1:10:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:37Speaker 05

  Characters are impressions of people nobody knows, and you just have the right setup and the right point of view, that enough people can identify it.

• 1:10:45Andrew Santino?

  And it kind of feels so commonplace. Well, that's why I never really didn't do celebrities well. Like, but I would do, like, a character I did, I tested for SNL, is I did this repressed southern high school football coach, who, you know, was kind of into some of the boys. And I stole the voice from one of my dad's friends. He used to belittle me when I was, he was a big lumbering man, and he would, you know, he'd go, Andrew, I bet you a hundred dollars you can't do a hundred pushups right now, right here, front of the dinner table. And he would make me do stuff like that as a kid, because he was a big football guy. And I stole that.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  But that's not stealing, if you take the, it would be if you took it from, like, somebody's impression, but that's...

• 1:11:24Andrew Santino?

  No, no, I just took the world and put it in this, like, because he would say stuff, he'd be like, go, go, go, and take your shirt off and do it. And I'd be like, why do I have to take my fucking shirt off? And so I would put that in of this repressed southern high school football coach that was, he's like, just talking about the boys as they run. Y'all are sweating good, want to see more sweat, want to see more sweat? And so I did that as part of my test, and the character did fucking phenomenal. I was like, stoked about some of the characters I did that had popped. Because in my mind, I did them at, I did them at, um... A couple of venues in LA, you know, and they did okay at like the improv and stuff in the store. But not until I did it in front of I O West.

• 1:12:06Andrew Santino?

  Uh, and then at uh, um, U C B did, I was like, oh, they're, because they, they wanted it more.

• 1:12:11Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:12:12Andrew Santino?

  They were like, oh, they, they're into the characters. When I did it, when I was doing them at the store, I was, it was just so, so not what I always did that people were like, what the fuck is he doing?

• 1:12:19Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:12:20Andrew Santino?

  So I kinda hid it. I didn't really tell all my friends I was doing it.

• 1:12:22Speaker 05

  Did you ever work, uh, Stanford and Suns?

• 1:12:25Andrew Santino?

  I did.

• 1:12:26Speaker 05

  So there's the.

• 1:12:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, man.

• 1:12:28Speaker 05

  Craig Glazer.

• 1:12:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Craig Glazer, I'll pick you up from the airport.

• 1:12:30Speaker 05

  I, uh, I think I got a couple of stories, but he, he had the greatest thing because one time, I'd just gotten Mad TV. So this is a guy who was like totally, um.

• 1:12:41Andrew Santino?

  And he's, he's gone, he's no longer with us and we, rest in peace, Craig was a wild character.

• 1:12:46Speaker 05

  He's not in heaven.

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  Well, this is, it's a little, uh, warmer here. He's almost Beetlejuice. Hey, hey, come here, I got some for you. I guess, uh.

• 1:12:58Andrew Santino?

  Hey, come here.

• 1:12:59Speaker 05

  That's where, that's, that'd be funny. Michael Keaton's like, you know, uh, you ever go to San Francisco? You ever been there? You ever been there? That's where I get Beetlejuice. Yeah, there's a guy there, Craig Glazer, here, here, here. I guess, okay, so. So Glazer's like, he's like, uh, I'd never been there to Kansas City and he's a, he was a promotional maniac.

• 1:13:17Andrew Santino?

  Correct, yeah.

• 1:13:18Speaker 05

  And everything he was on the radio, TV and everything and. So he's talking about all this stuff. He's like, so, so, uh, so I, I go, as long as you don't mention Mad TV, we're good because it's not out there yet that I'm on there. He's like, I haven't mentioned it anywhere. Nobody knows about it. Don't worry about it. We're driving in his like Corvette.

• 1:13:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  Over a hill, there's a giant billboard, Mad TV's Frank Caliendo. He turns to me, he turns, he goes, are you pissed?

• 1:13:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:13:52Speaker 05

  I went, "Hi, how are you?" Are you pissed? Like, you could have told me that you didn't know, or you just had done it. But it was like, two days until we see that billboard. And they said, "Are you pissed?" But I would do a thing, like, he claimed to have created every comedian in the world.

• 1:14:10Andrew Santino?

  Of all time.

• 1:14:11Speaker 05

  So, Seinfeld came in, he's doing prop comedy. I said, "What are you doing? Start making observations, the minutia, and the little things in the world." Next thing you know, he's got the Seinfeld show, is making millions of dollars. "Where are my Stanford sons? Think about it." Carrot Top, on the other hand, Carrot Top wanted to do intelligent, high-level thinking type of comedy. I said, "That's not for you. What you gotta do is get a couple of trunks, pull things out of it, keep the hair. Quit cutting your hair." Next thing you know, he's in Vegas, making millions of dollars. "Where are my Stanford sons? Think about it." But I said to Dave Chappelle, I said, "Have some cultural comedy. Think about things that are going around." I said the same thing. "Bill Burr, go on rants." Bill Burr wanted to stick to his act. I said, "Don't stick to your act. The act's incredible. You do tremendous things."

• 1:14:51Speaker 05

  But I said, "Here's what you do. You go on the opening Anthony show, you talk to the crowd, you go on a 12-minute rant. Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where are my Stanford sons? Think about it." So I created pretty much every single comedian that has ever been through, uh... Dane Cook, he didn't want to have any animation. Sebastian Maniscalco didn't repeat things. I said, "No, you gotta do it loudly. Move your arms around. Move your arms around." If they're offering you peanuts, you don't have to have a punchline. Just tell them, "They're offering you peanuts." Say it three times, and you will get people to enjoy what you're saying, because it'll make you think about it. And you'll make... There is Sebastian Maniscalco. I said, "And he wanted to go by Sam Maniscot." I said, "No, Sebastian Maniscalco."

• 1:15:33Speaker 05

  I said, "The longer name, the Italian, the spaghetti, people get in their mind, they understand." Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. "Where are my Stanford sons? Think about it." So I have these ideas. I give them to people. They understand. But, uh, you know, it's just, uh, I'm a giver. I'm a giver.

• 1:15:47Andrew Santino?

  He's something we would take from your fucking check. This guy, I'll never forget. He picked me up. No, he had a, um... A Lotus. He had a Lotus at one time. If you know what this is, a very small little two-door car. He had a tiny Lotus.

• 1:16:01Speaker 05

  Got it down to one door for a while.

• 1:16:03Andrew Santino?

  And he goes, he goes, "I'll pick you up from the airport." And I was like, "Oh, you're gonna pick me up?" I thought, because I'm thinking it was gonna be an opener or a runner or something. "No, I'll pick you up myself." Okay, he picks me up. We're in the front seat and he's taking me by down to Kansas City. He's like, "Best restaurant. I don't know if you can afford something like that, but that's the best restaurant in Kansas City." And then he's driving around, he goes, "Hey, before we go to the hotel, you cool if I pick up my girl?" And I was like, "Your girlfriend?" And he's like, "Yeah, you're cool." I was like, "I'm cool, I guess." And he goes, "We're going to get Black Barbie." That's what he called her. "Black Barbie. We're going to get Black Barbie." And I'm thinking, "What is this play that he's talking?" And then he pulls up to this apartment complex and this like 6'2 woman,

• 1:16:46Andrew Santino?

  wearing like a tiny little miniskirt, I mean boobs out, and he goes, "Go ahead and scoot over." I was like, "It's a two-seater car." And he goes, "Oh, she'll get in the back. Black Barbie doesn't give a shit." And he makes me get out. I pick up the seat of like, you know, old two-seater sports car. And this 6'2 woman in heels is like smashed in the thing. And I'm like, I'm continually going, "Are you sure? Is this okay?" And he goes, "She doesn't care, man. She'll fold in anything. It doesn't even matter."

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  You ever see when the magician puts the lady in a box? That's what she does. She worked with Copperfield for years. I said, "I..." Originally Copperfield was trying to get really fat ladies and put them in boxes. I said, "No, grab the thin ones so they are limber." And you get them around, you can twist them in a pretzel. I put her in the box. Next thing you know, Copperfield's got his own island doing whatever he wants. Guy makes his own rules. Where am I, Sanford and Son's?

• 1:17:38Andrew Santino?

  For people that don't know, goddamn Frank, that's so...

• 1:17:41Speaker 05

  He could be a character. I mean, it's...

• 1:17:42Andrew Santino?

  God, it's so funny.

• 1:17:43Speaker 05

  You just gotta set him up right enough and just find the right thing. It could be outside of comedy.

• 1:17:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:47Speaker 05

  And it's the guy working somewhere that claims to have...

• 1:17:51Andrew Santino?

  He invented Velcro.

• 1:17:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, there was. And people were tying their shoes. I said, "What are you gonna do tying your shoes? You're gonna end up, you bend down, you gotta tie the shoe. You gotta memorize the knot." A lot of people can't, don't have the dexterity to do that. You get older, I said, "How about we take two strips of some type of fabric? One that has kind of like tiny little hooks and another one that's kind of a fuzzy type of deal. Have the hooks attached to the fuzzy and then make a funny sound when it opens up." Next thing you know, the Velcro people, they're making millions of dollars. Where am I, Sanford and Son's?

• 1:18:21Andrew Santino?

  God, it's so fucking brilliant. And that club, that club, everyone had to go through that club. Like, everyone did that fucking club. And I did it because I heard other, other headliners go, "Well, you could do it. They'll headline you even if it was early." Because it was early for me to even have my own weekend. And they were like, "He'll do it. They'll headline you early and you'll get fucking no money. I'll lose money on the trip." And I did. And then, and then I was there for the second iteration when they had like a catwalk. It was like in a, you had a long theater they had bought. You had to go out on a catwalk. He's like, "Use it. Use a catwalk. Go out there, man. Show off." Walk out on a catwalk. It was nuts. But you, I mean, you lived through, you lived through

• 1:19:01Andrew Santino?

  a lot of the changeover clubs, right? Like, the generation above me, you guys kind of get a lot, you saw a lot of those go from one company to another one, to another one, then be bought, and then, or either all the mom and pops that closed down. Like, you saw that.

• 1:19:14Speaker 05

  That was actually, some of that was before me. I saw, I saw as the improvs were starting to come around and so I start, I actually started in, I graduated from college in 1996. I got on the college circuit for the first three or four years and did mostly that. So I got to that about, about 2000 is where I'm doing clubs.

• 1:19:37Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:19:37Speaker 05

  Um, so it was on this, it was on the, the back end of a lot of those, uh, types of.

• 1:19:43Andrew Santino?

  That switch over, the changeover?

• 1:19:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, there was some, there was some go, but I didn't know, I, I don't even know the story. Like, there were so many clubs in Chicago I'd never heard of. I just did Zany's in Chicag- Bert, huh? Zany's in Chicago? Um, so I would.

• 1:19:56Andrew Santino?

  Chicago.

• 1:19:57Speaker 05

  Chicago, Chicagoland area? Yeah, be careful going through the magnetometer. Whoever that was at the, at the O'Hare Airport.

• 1:20:10Speaker 05

  O'Hare were the only toilet seats that had like the condom that went around.

• 1:20:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the, the rotating condom seat.

• 1:20:18Andrew Santino?

  It's so gross.

• 1:20:20Speaker 05

  With the weirdest thing. It was like a full-on lifesaver.

• 1:20:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but you knew, I always thought, there's no big role in there. They've got it just rotating the same thing.

• 1:20:30Speaker 05

  This one looks stained multiple times.

• 1:20:34Andrew Santino?

  What do you, so now, now you're touring again this?

• 1:20:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm starting to do a bunch more because my wife's spending a lot of money. I put a lot of money away and then I put like so much that I don't want to touch. Then I'm like, well now I gotta force myself to go do some stuff and create some, some new thing because I don't want to pay the penalties on the money I put away.

• 1:20:53Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 1:20:53Speaker 05

  So it's.

• 1:20:54Andrew Santino?

  Gotta go to work.

• 1:20:55Speaker 05

  So I'm getting myself out there and doing some more stuff and I create on stage. I just, I, I find stuff hits me in the middle. Like things have happened here.

• 1:21:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:04Speaker 05

  And I'm like, okay, this is, this is a tangent I can go on. Uh, and that's where the fun is gonna be. So, um, and I want to tell more stories and do more about me. Cause it, that's a difficult thing for people. They come out to see the, they come out to see the act. They don't always come out to hear what I have to say. They can come out to see what I'm going to do. There's a difference.

• 1:21:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:25Speaker 05

  Like people come to hear, what's, what's Andrew kind of annoyed by? What is? What is, what's, you know, what's, what, what's getting, what's getting his goat? What's? People don't do that as much for me as they're like, what's he gonna do? What's the next thing? It's a magic trick. What's the, like you don't care about the magician in the middle all the time. You're like, okay, we get it. You're conjuring demons to make an ace of spades. Fantastic. But just show us the answers. It's table magic. Just show me how, tell me how, I, I want to not see where you're, you know, pulling that card from.

• 1:21:55Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:21:56Speaker 05

  So.

• 1:21:57Andrew Santino?

  But you have, you started to?

• 1:21:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's, it's been on and off, but I, I worry, I worry. I just have to get on stage more and more and more to do it. Because if you take too long of a break, you, you don't, you don't get in the flow.

• 1:22:08Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:22:09Speaker 05

  And it's like, I build each night. As I'm on the road, I build little bits here and there and then go back and go, okay. So I can add this, take out that, you know.

• 1:22:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but I, I think with you, it's like as time goes on, I think for someone like me, I'd want to see you, obviously do what you do the best, but also build out your storytelling and, and not just the, you know, like you're saying, show the ace of spades. Like I think you're at a point in your life and your career when you've done so much that you're like, I can tell the straight narrative.

• 1:22:37Speaker 05

  For example, a bit I've been doing is about that Madden movie. So I get, I get a call from my agents and I've told this story a bunch, but it's different because you're here.

• 1:22:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:46Speaker 05

  But it's, um, they're like, and the reason I keep doing this is because I sweat on my upper lip and it really looks bad.

• 1:22:52Andrew Santino?

  No, I was staring at it. I liked it. Yeah.

• 1:22:56Speaker 05

  Is that the, is that the football coach?

• 1:22:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:59Speaker 05

  Andrew, you're watching the sweat. Drip down his lip, boy. Man, that looks good, doesn't it? Uh, next thing you know, he's on NBC and I wear my Stanford songs. Thank God this time.

• 1:23:11Speaker 05

  So, uh, I get a call from an agent and he goes, well, first of all, they wanted me to audition for the Madden movie for the part of Howard Cosell. And I'm like, I don't really do Howard Cosell. And the only thing I could think of is if I even got this movie, I'm going to be, this is how I, I'm doing a terrible house. Right, just terrible. Like, people are just going to say the whole time, that's terrible, should have done Madden, right? But Nicolas Cage is mad. So then I get a call later, after I just didn't even want to do the audition. I'm like, I'm not going to do it because I'm not going to be good. But my also, I was also thinking at the time, they probably want to just talk to me about Madden. Like, there's probably, that always happens to me where somebody wants to meet with me about something. They want somebody, a much more famous person, they're like,

• 1:23:55Speaker 05

  well, we're going to just kind of work on some of the stuff you have. We're going to have them, we're going to tell them what you do. I'm like, I'm not giving away the formula. And my agent calls me, I can say, Nicolas Cage and the director want to talk to you about this movie on a Zoom. I'm like, no. He's like, what do you mean, no? I'm like, I don't want to do a Zoom with Nicolas Cage. I want to hang out with Nicolas Cage.

• 1:24:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:13Speaker 05

  I want to go to Vegas. I want to ride sidecar to the Ghost Rider. I want to do Leslie Stahl walk and talk. I want to be in there. I want him to take me around and he's got his exotic animals, be in his basement. Here's my monitor lizard. What would John Madden say to this monitor lizard? We're going to steal the Declaration of Independence. And so that's the bit, right? So, but that's, but those real things, I'm trying to take those real things and make them stories in my act and then elaborate on them more in the act. And build those out. I, you know, that's, that's the key to me is the first step of just getting people to, because they want to hear. Anytime I say a person's name, people think the impression's coming next.

• 1:24:51Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:24:52Speaker 05

  So it's, it's, it's like, I could say, um, I'm trying to think of somebody that's, uh, Brad Pitt. They're like, oh, he's going to do Brad. No, I'm not going to, I just mentioned his name. If I could do Brad Pitt, you'd think I'd stop doing it? I do it all the time.

• 1:25:08Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:25:09Speaker 05

  If I could do Brad Pitt.

• 1:25:10Andrew Santino?

  He's a hard one to do, though.

• 1:25:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, you look at, I think some of it's going to be the look.

• 1:25:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:16Speaker 05

  And he's not much of a cartoon character. He's a pretty subtle actor. But a, a friend of mine can do a great one, too. And I've seen him do it. So that's another reason I, Ross Marquand. So Ross is like unbelievable with it.

• 1:25:26Andrew Santino?

  He's, he's got it nailed.

• 1:25:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:28Andrew Santino?

  How about Obama?

• 1:25:29Speaker 05

  Uh, let me be clear. That is what this is about. Uh, it's, uh, one, uh, two, uh, three, four, five, six, seven. I can break down, that's how I like break, one, two, uh, whatever.

• 1:25:46Speaker 05

  You got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, dot, dot, dot.

• 1:26:00Speaker 05

  Folks.

• 1:26:03Speaker 05

  Pie.

• 1:26:08Andrew Santino?

  The presidential number count is...

• 1:26:10Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, my, a bit I talk about is like, Trump would make up his numbers, he's PT Barnum, a president, Biden would struggle with the numbers.

• 1:26:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:17Speaker 05

  But, you know, and everything goes back to Scranton, Pennsylvania. Where's the young man going to Scranton, Pennsylvania? Three, four, five, I was, he's like a drunk auctioneer. Six hundred eight, so, come on.

• 1:26:29Speaker 05

  Six hundred eighty. So, fall of the Roman Empire, the Romans. The Romans, the salad guy Caesar. He's defeated by Mario and Luigi. Folks that were plumbers.

• 1:26:41Andrew Santino?

  Folks that were plumbers.

• 1:26:44Speaker 05

  So, it's like, but it's like finding those. Where are we going, uh, with the, the voices? Um, yeah, so, but you find the cadence. How many Christopher Walkens have you, you've heard low, you've heard high?

• 1:26:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  You've heard in the middle. It doesn't matter where the, the, the note is. It's what's, what's the music that's played? What are the, what are the notes actually? Not the tone. So, with, uh, with counting, with like Robert Downey Jr., it's just one, two, burp, three, four, five, six, seven. Liam Neeson is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. You can even do that better. One, two, one, two, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. That's a better, that's a better. But there's, there's those cadences, uh, like, um, um, Michael Keaton.

• 1:27:39Speaker 05

  Uh, one, I guess, uh, you gonna go two? Three, four, five, six, yeah, yeah, seven.

• 1:27:49Speaker 05

  One, uh, one, uh, one, two, one, two, one, two, three. If you have them up, uh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

• 1:28:00Andrew Santino?

  Has it been embedded since you were a kid?

• 1:28:04Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 1:28:05Andrew Santino?

  Like when you were a little kid, were you fucking around doing that?

• 1:28:06Speaker 05

  No, no, no, I was very quiet until about middle school, then I kind of broke out of my shell and I was a little bit more, you know, there was a guy, the kid Darren Barsh, I always talked about him, like, he was, he was a good looking kid, but, uh, he, he, he, he had frosted tips like before anybody had like that, like he had bleached part of his hair, but his nostrils always flared out. And he just kind of, he had a rhythm to him like this, and he always, he had that comb, he'd feather his hair, kind of a thing, the two-hand featherer. But it was like, I would do impressions of him and Mark Christiansen, Coach Christiansen, basketball coach, I had him for US history, like, Mr. Caliendo, can you go up to the map and show us where the United States is? I'd point to the blue, he'd go, sit down,

• 1:28:51Speaker 05

  Mr. Caliendo, that's water.

• 1:28:53Andrew Santino?

  That's water. Well, I gotta say, this has been a clinic, it's like an exercise, I mean, it's like amazing

• 1:29:02Speaker 05

  Well, you can do some, it's funny.

• 1:29:03Andrew Santino?

  No, but you're, but you're, it's just different.

• 1:29:05Speaker 05

  I used to be better, too, that's the crazy thing, I used to be, I used to work at it so hard, which I need to get myself working hard at the, I've done this, maybe, you probably never seen it, but there's so many voices that are so close to each other.

• 1:29:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Speaker 05

  And I take two things, this is a thing I did on social media, it's, there's two voices, you can take Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog is Jim Henson, hey, Kermit the Frog here, right, and then Frank Oz is Fozzie Bear, ah, waka, waka, waka, right in there, and if you take Kermit the Frog and you bring it down, it becomes John C. Riley, did you touch my drum set? And then, if you, if you might bring, add some air to it, it becomes Mark Ruffalo, I, I see this as an absolute win, and you bring it down even more, it becomes Paul Giamatti, I believe, that is one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my entire life. Now, if you bring it back up, and you tighten it up, and, oh, go back to John C. Riley, and then bring it back to us, Seth Rogen, oh, I don't know, uh.

• 1:30:03Speaker 05

  Which is actually the Burt laugh. Heh, heh, heh, heh. And then, you could take those, those, those Fozzi-ish voices, and you get Joe Rogan, wow, oh my god, Jamie, that is fucking nuts, Jamie, pull that up, oh my god, that's crazy, that is fucking crazy.

• 1:30:23Andrew Santino?

  So everybody is in.

• 1:30:24Speaker 05

  There's a lot in that.

• 1:30:25Andrew Santino?

  Everyone's a mix from Fozzy to Kermit.

• 1:30:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's a bunch in that grouping. I mean, there are others that you can take them to like John Madden. Hey folks, John, if you take, if I took Nicolas Cage, Cage here, and I brought it back into the, they made it glottal. So you've got to get rid of the air. You can actually hear and it gets in there. That's, that gets right before you get to Fozzy. Ah, so it's here and then you, you tighten up right and now you're talking in here.

• 1:30:57Andrew Santino?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:30:58Speaker 05

  Cause Cage is up here.

• 1:31:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:00Speaker 05

  Yes, of course. How did I not see that?

• 1:31:08Speaker 05

  But you bring those, which is Keanu Reeves is in there, you know, those, they're like those voices that are up in the front.

• 1:31:13Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:31:13Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:31:16Andrew Santino?

  Have you insured your, insured your voice?

• 1:31:19Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:31:19Andrew Santino?

  You should.

• 1:31:20Speaker 05

  Why would I insure?

• 1:31:21Andrew Santino?

  Ensure your throat, ensure your, you can insure it. What if you lose your voice?

• 1:31:28Speaker 05

  I'm done. I'm a mime. And I'd be the best mime. A lot of people said, you can't be a mime. And I said, what's this? I'm running into the wind. I'm a wind runner. I'm a wind runner now. Like, you know what I am? I'm stuck in a box. I'm in the box. Now I'm pulling rope.

• 1:31:46Speaker 05

  He's the only mime that would tell you what he's doing. He was like, listen.

• 1:31:49Andrew Santino?

  He'd give it all away.

• 1:31:50Speaker 05

  I, I do, I do a mime who speaks.

• 1:31:55Speaker 05

  I don't even need the clown makeup.

• 1:31:57Andrew Santino?

  The only mime that speaks. I'm the only mime that speaks. And I'm in a box here. I'm in a box and not alone. There's of course a couple of supermodels in here.

• 1:32:06Speaker 05

  And a lot of, a lot of mimes do the box and a lot of mimes do the, pull the rope. I do them both. I'm, I'm pulling the rope and I'm in a box.

• 1:32:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm gonna tell ya, I wanna say something. I hope, I hope I can see ya, cuz I wanna see the full new act. I hope I see you soon.

• 1:32:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, it's, it's developing. And now that I'm on the road, it's, uh, I gotta get more of the stories. It's, uh... It's funny, cuz I have a lot of things that go back that I have to, like, I pull from stuff, that, older stuff, and then I go off on tangents to build it.

• 1:32:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:43Speaker 05

  And it's like, I gotta figure out how to get rid of the stuff that's at the beginning that's kind of old, and then get the new things.

• 1:32:50Andrew Santino?

  But I mean, that's, that, that's gonna be trial and error with you figuring out what the stories that you like and that you don't, you know, that you get over. You know what I mean? The stuff that you're like, it's almost like when you're trying new jokes, and you're like, "God, I like that so much, but I just want a piece of it to fill this other joke."

• 1:33:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:33:03Andrew Santino?

  You know, we beg, borrow, and steal.

• 1:33:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, and there's, that's so funny, cuz you can, you can take your own joke and just switch the situation slightly, and it's like, "Well, that's, that's the same joke from ten years ago."

• 1:33:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, nobody cares. They, they don't care. They just wanna see you do it. I think that one thing, I don't know who told me, but there was an older manager, oh, David Steinberg, who just passed away. Steinberg was Robin Williams' manager, Billy Crystal, and Steinberg said to me, um, he's like, "You guys are so fucking obsessed with throwing away material." And I said, "Well, I mean, I don't know. It's kinda like a comics code thing sometimes, where you do an hour and you do it." And he's like, "Who told you to do that?" I said, "I don't know. I just think we all kind of do that instinctually." He's like, "Cut it out." He's like, "It's your stuff. You made it." He's like, "You can do it as freely and, and as frequently as you want."

• 1:33:53Speaker 05

  I've done the same thing so many times. I'm doing it up here now.

• 1:33:58Andrew Santino?

  But he was right.

• 1:33:59Speaker 05

  Oh, look down there, Craig Glazer. Ooh.

• 1:34:03Speaker 05

  Things are heating up. But that's the thing about hell. They have the greatest, we can, you get great fire, and you can make tremendous marshmallows. Yeah, we went, I said to Beelzebub, I said to him, "You're not doing everything you can with the fire." I said, "We can make the great things. Fire can be, fire, it's not like Frankenstein. It doesn't have to be bad."

• 1:34:24Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't have to be bad.

• 1:34:25Speaker 05

  The cavemen, with that fire, they would've been frozen.

• 1:34:30Speaker 05

  Would have been just a bunch of Swanson meals. And they said, no, I don't think they had those around back then. Of course they did.

• 1:34:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he would actually convince you that they did.

• 1:34:39Speaker 05

  They had TV dinners. They had, how could they not have TV dinners? They weren't the same. They didn't have, they didn't use plastic. Cause they didn't have plastic yet, but they used, they used leaves.

• 1:34:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh shit. Frank, I want to thank you.

• 1:34:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, thanks for coming.

• 1:34:55Andrew Santino?

  Very graciously for coming up.

• 1:34:57Speaker 05

  Son knew the Andrew guy.

• 1:34:58Andrew Santino?

  The Andrew man, yeah.

• 1:34:59Speaker 05

  The Andrew man.

• 1:35:00Andrew Santino?

  The Andrew man. That Andrew man. It was, uh, it's been an honest pleasure. When I met you, I told you that, man. I was like, God, I can't, I can't wait to sit with you. Uh, for the fans, please, go see this young lad on tour. Uh, I imagine it's gotta be frankaliendo.com.

• 1:35:18Speaker 05

  It is, but you don't have to, you can spell Caliendo, the letter C, the word alien and the word do, Frank Caliendo, do. But I also got frankonstage.com.

• 1:35:28Andrew Santino?

  Frankonstage.com. Frank Caliendo, do. That's a pretty great way to do it.

• 1:35:32Speaker 05

  I thought, I didn't think I came up with it. Somebody told me I did. I still think it was Harland Williams.

• 1:35:37Andrew Santino?

  That sounds right.

• 1:35:38Speaker 05

  Hey buddy, do you know there's an alien in your name? Did you know that?

• 1:35:45Speaker 05

  Why are you doing that? Cause I always do that, buddy. Hey now, don't you hate can I get around?

• 1:35:50Andrew Santino?

  Santines. Hey.

• 1:35:53Speaker 05

  Hey Andrew Santini. Isn't that your, is that your uncle, the great Santini?

• 1:36:00Andrew Santino?

  Harland, one of the funniest.

• 1:36:01Speaker 05

  Oh, unbelievable.

• 1:36:03Andrew Santino?

  Just.

• 1:36:03Speaker 05

  But I can do, Harland is, hey there, with your hardened Greek Santa going around the whiskey war. He just looks around the room.

• 1:36:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he just finds it.

• 1:36:11Speaker 05

  These guys are so sick. That's what he's like. Take the whiskey ginger there with the framed picture of yourself making a funny face and the guy with the name I can't remember, but it's awkward. Look at these cameras over there and the golf clubs next to the skateboard with the scorpion on it. There you go, my friend.

• 1:36:33Andrew Santino?

  Go to seefrankonstage.com. Frank Caliendo do. It means the world to me that you're on the show. I appreciate you. We end the show the same way. You look into that camera right there and you say one word or one phrase. It used to be a word, then it became a phrase, and then kind of switched around. But you're imparting this wisdom upon our audience, so whatever you want to leave it with, leave them.

• 1:36:58Speaker 04

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 1:37:03Speaker 06

  Who's that creature in the ginger beard?

• 1:37:05Andrew Santino?

  Sturdy and ginger. Like their parents, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers? Oh, hell no.

• 1:37:16Speaker 02

  This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:37:25Speaker 02

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