Adam Ray Is Back!

Andrew Santino sits down with the hilarious Adam Ray — actor, comedian, impression master, and star of the new Netflix special Dr. Phil Unleashed — for an episode full of absurd stories, Hollywood madness, and nonstop bits. They talk about what it’s like becoming Dr. Phil, the art of a perfect impression, the grind of touring, and how Adam somehow plays every character in Hollywood while still finding time to crush stand-up. 🎥 Watch Adam Ray’s Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/title/81736167 🎟️ See Adam Ray live: http://adamraycomedy.com 🎧 Listen to Adam’s podcast “About Last Night.” In this episode: • Adam on filming Dr. Phil Unleashed and channeling chaos on stage • Andrew and Adam trade insane Hollywood stories • The origin of his dead-on celebrity impressions (and a few new ones live) • Touring nightmares, bad green rooms, and the beauty of bombing Drop a comment with your favorite Adam Ray impression. New episodes every Friday. #whiskeyginger #AndrewSantino #AdamRay #DrPhilUnleashed #NetflixComedy #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #Comedians ========================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER ⁠https://squarespace.com/whiskey⁠ HALLOW GET 50% OFF SITEWIDE https://hollowsocks.com MARS MEN USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY ⁠https://mengotomars.com ======================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Andrew Santino?

  What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We've got a good one for you today, like my man Steve Harvey done say. And hey, hey, hey, it's Ho, Ho, Ho homers tomorrow. Saturday, December 6th, LA Valley College. If you're in the Los Angeles metro area, I would love to see you. We're having a Home Run Derby competition for Special Olympics. All the proceeds are going to go to them. We have so much cool stuff. Come hit Dinger's Office celebrities. Some of the names that might be there, maybe Bill Burr, maybe Burt Kreischer. I don't know. We'll see. Probably. Including Bobby Lee. And also a bunch of silent auction items, including signed jerseys from cool professional athletes that donated some merch and their time, as well as some other very cool secretive

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  gifts. So come on out, LA Valley College. Also, we'll put the link in the description down below, so you can sign up. If you don't live in the area and you can't make it, please donate. It would mean a lot to us, trying to raise a bunch of money for Southern California Special Olympics. Donating is just as good. We're doing a big donation from the Bad Friends family. And I'd love to see you there, or I'd love to see you help out during the holidays. I love you. I appreciate you. Also, in the new year, I'm doing a bunch of shows, so go to andresantino.com for those tickets. I'm running around the country doing some casinos. Andresantino.com.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  We pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Who's that creature in the ginger beard?

• 2:24Speaker 05

  Sturdy, ginger.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Like their hair, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 2:28Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful.

• 2:30Speaker 06

  You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Ginger? Oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 2:41Andrew Santino?

  Start the show.

• 2:43Speaker 07

  Hey, guys. Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. If it's your first time on the show, welcome to the show. Top of the morning to ya. We are here in the Whiskey Ginger Studios. But if you haven't subscribed, go ahead and click that button below. We have road dates. I'll be in San Francisco, Brea this weekend. Brea, I think. That might be right, actually. I think I watched the episode last week. But it's, I'm all over the world, and Santino.com. My guest today is one of my favorite people of all time. I say it about every episode, but I mean this because he is it because I've actually known him for a long time. He's the only Jewish guy I've ever seen his penis. Please give it up for Adam Ray.

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  You think you're the only Jew that I've seen their dick?

• 3:16Speaker 07

  Let's run it back one more time. Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. Who else? Who's the first Jew dick you saw? Great band name.

• 3:22Andrew Santino?

  Jew Dick.

• 3:23Speaker 07

  What's up, Seattle? I just saw this clip and I reshared it. Great story, Adam. No, I reshared it and it was a guy, a heavy metal band, and he just goes, it shows two black security guards in the forefront of the clip.

• 3:37Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 3:38Speaker 07

  I like to paint a picture.

• 3:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you did. It's pretty dark.

• 3:41Speaker 07

  Bob Ross, let's make two little black security guards.

• 3:45Speaker 07

  And so, and so they're in the forefront and it's a super heavy metal guy and he goes, he goes, "You guys know this next song?" And you see this two guys just, you know, doing what they do at the front of the stage, just looking forward. And the guy goes, "This next song is about shooting blood out of your cock." And then one of the security guards, the other guy just goes, with the most like, "What the fuck?" And it says, "When you don't know what you signed up for."

• 4:09Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck did you say?

• 4:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they were just doing a concert, but, yeah. Oh, so funny.

• 4:13Andrew Santino?

  Shooting blood out of the dong.

• 4:15Speaker 07

  Yikes, that's...

• 4:16Andrew Santino?

  Dark days.

• 4:17Speaker 07

  It's a bad, you gotta go, something's up if that happens. Who's the first Jew, Jew dick you saw?

• 4:24Andrew Santino?

  First one.

• 4:25Speaker 07

  And was it circumcised?

• 4:26Andrew Santino?

  Actually, this reminds me of a funny, a real funny story.

• 4:29Speaker 07

  Cool.

• 4:29Andrew Santino?

  This is like the meanest thing ever. I'm, I was like nine and my dad, I was like coming out of the shower in the morning.

• 4:35Speaker 07

  Oh no, that was my story.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's yours. I was one and my dad left, so I beat you by eight years. Nice try, pal.

• 4:40Speaker 07

  I don't think I've, we, I know we've talked about pops.

• 4:42Andrew Santino?

  My dad went to jail for drugs. Your dad was like, I can't handle this family.

• 4:49Speaker 07

  What if that's how he left?

• 4:51Andrew Santino?

  I can't handle this family.

• 4:53Speaker 07

  I'm trying to do this.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  My dad was like, I need the drugs. My dad, my stepdad saw me coming out of the bathroom, walking into the room and we were, I like, we were fighting or arguing or something. And I, he saw me naked and he goes, let's hope that grows. That hurt so mu- and by the way.

• 5:13Speaker 07

  Santino, where are you? You get five.

• 5:14Andrew Santino?

  That's Papa Von. And by the way, it didn't.

• 5:20Andrew Santino?

  It's the same size since I was nine.

• 5:22Speaker 07

  So joke's on you. My penis is still inadequate.

• 5:26Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you know how hard it is when your dad, that's like such a fucking.

• 5:30Speaker 07

  That's also though, that's why you're a comedian. My dad would have never said that. May- maybe. He did call me a, I don't know if he called me a pussy. When I had a sunburn and we were on some trip at Lake Powell and he, uh, I had, he gave me Advil. I was in, I think I was 11 or 12 and the sunburn was so bad that he's like, you have to take Advil to, you know, just try to get the pain to stop. I mean, I was fr- it was bad. I probably should have gone to the hospital. And he, I couldn't sw- I couldn't just, I didn't have the wherewithal to swallow and he was like, well, let's put it in bread. And he was getting so angry. I just remember that.

• 6:04Andrew Santino?

  Put it in bread?

• 6:04Speaker 07

  To like swallow it, just so, you know, you fat fuck, at least probably eat the drugs.

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  You got gluten, gluten added Advil?

• 6:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, so, so I, uh, I finally got it down, but he was getting really upset that I couldn't swallow it. And he might've called me a pussy. So that's the, that's the one like jab, I feel like. When I try to write this.

• 6:21Andrew Santino?

  And it hurt, didn't it?

• 6:22Speaker 07

  Let me pitch this new joke.

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh yeah, pitch a joke. Pitch, ready for, welcome to Whiskey Ginger's Pitch That Joke.

• 6:28Speaker 07

  So this is, uh, trying to do a joke about like, you know, not needing religion to, um, uh, to justify being a good person.

• 6:37Andrew Santino?

  Not needing religion to justify being a good person?

• 6:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, like the people that.

• 6:40Andrew Santino?

  You don't need to be godly to be good.

• 6:42Speaker 07

  Yeah, like it's a pretty easy form, like, like a woman at my show in Forward this weekend was like, I know you're afraid of flying. I'd love to, and I went to my car to get some, I know you're Jewish. But I wanted to give you a Bible. I go, hard pass. I go, I'm all good. I go, appreciate though. I go, did you want a picture though? And she goes, well, if at least you're gonna die, like you read this, you know where you're going. I go, see, I don't even want to do that. I want to think that the plane's gonna fucking somehow rectify the sitch and we're gonna coast to uh, to, to safety. I don't want to be just go, well, it's happening. Let me see where, what exit am I gonna take? And she was like, oh, she goes, that's a real bummer. She goes, you know what? I'll talk to that guy. She goes over to Sandy, to Sandy Danto, and I go, ah, please don't, I go, please don't do that. She goes, I think he'll be into it. And I just look over and I see Sandy just going. Yeah, yeah. But so, so I go, the joke is- Sandy, the guy that looks more Jewish than you she went to?

• 7:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, she went to the newly rabbi'd rabbi. Right. And so I go, uh, so I go, the joke is like, um, you know, I go, my mom, being a good person, it comes down to three simple things. My mom gave me the golden rule of, um, shout out to Putin, of, uh, treat people the way you want to be treated. If you don't have anything nice, don't say anything dull. Uh, don't say anything at all. And don't judge a book by its cover because that book may be bipolar like your father. And then I go, do you remember the swings? Uh, and then I, and then I go, my dad was bipolar. He sent me these birthday cards. I'd be like, son, I can't believe the, um, I go, I never realized he was bipolar. And I look back at some of the birthday cards. And he's like, uh, son, I just, I can't believe, you know, the, uh, the times we've had. You've grown into such a wonderful young man. Do you remember the swings? And when I would push you on them? Ah, memories, my violent mood swings when I would push you.

• 8:11Speaker 07

  Anyway, happy birthday bitch. P S, you ain't getting him out the shit. Jesus Christ, Adam, is that a joke? No, that's a real card I got and I wanted to-

• 8:21Speaker 07

  Jokes are fun. We're all having a good time on today's show, but- Shit dude, that's so dark. Mask a joke with a real text you got from your dad. Yeah. And albeit today, Veterans Day, he was a veteran, shout out.

• 8:34Speaker 07

  And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free. And shout out to America's Ted Nugent, who will be headlining the Turning Points Alternative Halftime Show.

• 8:44Speaker 05

  I'll tell you what I don't get is all these trans women running around. You got Bad Bunny headlining, uh, Bane headlining. I don't, I hear, we need Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. Bad Bunny, I don't want that Puerto Rican salsa dancing up on me so I have to suck his dick to get him off of me. You think I want to watch my wife, watch that little Cuban boy shake his penis around during halftime? He's not Cuban. Yeah, well, that's all the same to me. All the same to me.

• 9:12Speaker 07

  Bro, I remember when I bagged groceries at Albertson's and I had a little bit of a tan going one summer and a woman thought I was Cuban. She was like, what part of Cuba are you from?

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  You could get away with, you could get away with something, yeah.

• 9:21Speaker 07

  Little bit of beard on something, little bit of tan on something.

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  But when we met, when we met, you were Italian.

• 9:27Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:27Andrew Santino?

  When I met you, you had that long, you had long hair. Yeah, Joe, get a long, a pic of him.

• 9:33Speaker 07

  There's one out there, I'll find one.

• 9:34Andrew Santino?

  Flowy, long, dark hair when I first met you.

• 9:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, like a lion's mane.

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, when you were, when you were fresh out of school, you were more, um, of a white guy and now you're more of...

• 9:47Speaker 07

  Say it. An old Jew. I do, I do, I am.

• 9:51Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 9:52Speaker 07

  I am, I did like jump into the pool. All right, I have a pool.

• 9:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, you did fill your pool with coins. That, I thought that was weird.

• 9:57Speaker 07

  Well, Scrooge McDuck said it best.

• 10:00Andrew Santino?

  Was it Scrooge McDuck? Is it Scrooge McDuckson? McDuckman. Scrooge McDuckman.

• 10:04Speaker 07

  By the way, he has to be a Jew.

• 10:05Andrew Santino?

  There's no chance he's not. Yeah, what is he doing? Hoarding all that money?

• 10:10Speaker 07

  He's trying to catch the Bugle Boys.

• 10:11Andrew Santino?

  They did McDuck because they wanted to sound to the duck because there was, what's a Jewish duck last name?

• 10:16Speaker 07

  Oof.

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  Look at Adam Ray. That's, that's, that's high school. I, after he went to... After he went to SC, you should have seen what he looked like. He was, the, he was the dog.

• 10:24Speaker 07

  Long hair, vest.

• 10:25Andrew Santino?

  A E pie?

• 10:26Speaker 07

  Pants didn't fit. A E pie, the Jew frat.

• 10:28Andrew Santino?

  I know it. You, you think I don't know your resume? You're one of my oldest friends in the world.

• 10:31Speaker 07

  Yeah, do you do?

• 10:33Andrew Santino?

  Me and you, me and you have so many years in the can of getting absolutely stoned off our gourd, singing songs at night.

• 10:39Speaker 07

  I sent you a voice note three days ago because I was driving right by your old place. A lot of great memories there.

• 10:44Andrew Santino?

  On Laurel, the old, or no, no, the, the Harper House.

• 10:46Speaker 07

  Harper House?

• 10:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Speaker 07

  And we got stoned, we were walking back, I think from Hudson, maybe? Or the Improv or something.

• 10:51Andrew Santino?

  No, oh, no, that's right. We were working up the street from the Improv.

• 10:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:55Speaker 07

  And, uh, and we were just stoned walking through and just, you know, and this is why it's important to have buds when you're starting out with that are keeping things light and where you can like talk about the rigmarole and the grind of like what's happening and and, and talk shit about how tough this is, whatever. But at the end of the day, like, end, almost like going to bed happy if you fight with your gal, you're at least like going to bed, we'd at least be silly at the end.

• 11:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:18Speaker 07

  So we'd leave being like, alright, like fuck, this, we're gonna run this back tomorrow and see how it goes.

• 11:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Speaker 07

  And we were just like running through the streets. I don't even know how we got on it, but we started singing this song that goes, "People of the world got something to say." People, I think we were talking about people like just-

• 11:33Andrew Santino?

  No, because we were, uh, cr- criticism on Facebook. Yeah, it was like Facebook posts.

• 11:38Speaker 07

  You know, it might have been the-

• 11:39Andrew Santino?

  I think you said something, you were like, "Everybody's got something to fucking say." And I was super stoned and I was like, "People of the world, they got something to say, man." I think it was just you were annoyed at like, we put up a post, I think we had maybe done a video or like you just put up a video.

• 11:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:53Andrew Santino?

  And people were criticizing it and you were like, "Man, what the fuck, man? Everyone's got some fucking opinion, huh?" And I was like, "People of the world, man, they got..." And you started singing, we were just dancing in the street. "People of the world got something to say." "People of the world, people of the world, people of the world." You know what the funniest part about that was?

• 12:13Speaker 07

  If somebody saw us just out the window, be like, "Fucking, the gays are taking over again."

• 12:18Speaker 07

  Cause we were dancing.

• 12:19Andrew Santino?

  "Is this whiskey gay, Jer? No tanks." Yeah, we were dancing in the street, we were dancing in the street outside of my apartment and I, we had, those nights were

• 12:29Speaker 07

  Informative.

• 12:30Andrew Santino?

  Just unreplaceable. You can't do that ever again.

• 12:33Speaker 07

  We're having a good time.

• 12:33Andrew Santino?

  We're having a good old time. Dusty Slay, shout out to Dusty Slay. We're having a good time. Or wasn't, isn't that what he says?

• 12:39Speaker 07

  I think so.

• 12:40Andrew Santino?

  He's one of the funniest dudes, man.

• 12:41Speaker 07

  So funny.

• 12:41Andrew Santino?

  He cracks me the fuck up. His demeanor is perfect.

• 12:44Speaker 07

  What do you think he locked in on first? The hair, the voice, the catchphrase?

• 12:48Andrew Santino?

  That's the total package. That guy, I think that-

• 12:49Speaker 07

  It just comes together.

• 12:50Andrew Santino?

  It came as one, yeah.

• 12:51Speaker 07

  It came as one.

• 12:51Andrew Santino?

  He's always been that guy. Wait, timeout, back up. First you penis I saw.

• 12:56Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 12:57Andrew Santino?

  I'll give it to you. You ready?

• 12:59Speaker 07

  I think so.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  So, I've, I've ever, I don't know if I've ever told you this. I had an Uncle Ira. Okay? He's alive.

• 13:06Speaker 07

  It's my dad's middle name.

• 13:07Andrew Santino?

  Okay, I had an Uncle Ira. And here I am as a young man in Chicago. This is my, and we called him Uncle Ira, this through my dad, the Santino side.

• 13:16Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 13:16Andrew Santino?

  I'm like- There's a kid at school named Ira. He's like a little Jewish guy. I was like, we have an Uncle Ira? How does that fit into this antique? Only till I was like thirteen did I realize, I was like, oh, he's not my real uncle. He was just like a good friend of the family that we called Uncle Ira. And he was a gay Jewish man.

• 13:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 13:37Andrew Santino?

  Who was good friends with my family and was around for all the holidays. I think because he didn't have a family.

• 13:42Speaker 07

  Gotcha.

• 13:42Andrew Santino?

  Or they weren't stoked about his choices.

• 13:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:45Andrew Santino?

  You know, turning gay and Jewish. Because you flip, right?

• 13:49Speaker 07

  You get one.

• 13:49Andrew Santino?

  You can't do both. That's nuts.

• 13:51Speaker 07

  Kamala said that.

• 13:52Speaker 08

  Well, I didn't pick him because he was a gay and a Jew, but I'm an Amer- I worked at a McDonald's for fifty-seven years. I'm only fifty-three. That's mathematically impossible, but I'm an American.

• 14:04Speaker 07

  It's a little Bobcat going.

• 14:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, it's a little Bob.

• 14:08Speaker 08

  You're an American.

• 14:10Andrew Santino?

  He was, by the way.

• 14:12Speaker 07

  By the way.

• 14:13Andrew Santino?

  A guy who put on such a good character.

• 14:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:15Andrew Santino?

  I did JFL with him. I did like a.

• 14:17Speaker 07

  No way.

• 14:18Andrew Santino?

  And we sat in the car, we drove together and.

• 14:20Speaker 07

  Those are the.

• 14:20Andrew Santino?

  And he was like, how you doing? I was like, oh, fuck.

• 14:24Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 14:24Andrew Santino?

  I didn't know you that. I didn't know you had a different.

• 14:25Speaker 07

  Those are one of the coolest parts about those festivals is getting into the van with other people.

• 14:29Andrew Santino?

  With other famous comics, yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 07

  And there's no.

• 14:31Andrew Santino?

  You're like, what?

• 14:32Speaker 07

  Only a few people have, uh, but at least from my vantage point, uh, nobody really was getting their own transportation. They're like, yeah, I'll go with the fucking the van that's taking everybody.

• 14:43Andrew Santino?

  We all had to ride together. Yeah. Nowadays, I'm sure that's not the same.

• 14:46Speaker 07

  No, no, no.

• 14:46Andrew Santino?

  I don't even know if it still exists anymore.

• 14:48Speaker 07

  The festival?

• 14:48Andrew Santino?

  What was that talking about?

• 14:50Speaker 07

  Jupe-ness. So Ira came over.

• 14:51Andrew Santino?

  Ira.

• 14:52Speaker 07

  And so wait, so, uh, but not even like a real family member, but he was Uncle Ira.

• 14:56Andrew Santino?

  Uncle Ira.

• 14:57Speaker 07

  We had a few of those. My dad had a guy, I think it was Uncle Steve. My sister, to this day, is always like, he was fucking weird. And I was like, he seemed cool with me. She's like, yeah, because you didn't have fucking.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  You didn't have boobs.

• 15:07Speaker 07

  Little boobs.

• 15:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, right. He was a creep.

• 15:09Speaker 07

  Touche.

• 15:10Andrew Santino?

  Touche.

• 15:10Speaker 07

  Yes, I did.

• 15:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 07

  Mom and I shared a bra.

• 15:12Andrew Santino?

  You did have nice tits as a little boy.

• 15:14Speaker 07

  I did.

• 15:14Andrew Santino?

  Those pictures are fucking funny.

• 15:16Speaker 07

  There's a video of me on a slip and slide. She put it on OnlyFans, but it's, uh.

• 15:19Andrew Santino?

  Slipping stuck, really.

• 15:21Speaker 07

  Oh. You, water was, water had nothing on me.

• 15:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 07

  Pumped the brakes.

• 15:28Andrew Santino?

  The viscosity of water wasn't strong enough for how fucking chubby, bubbly you were.

• 15:32Speaker 07

  Fuck, there is a video of me like just going down, getting a face full of water and then popping up. Like, I'm, I think I did post this years ago because somebody was just like, you weren't fucking that fat. And then I pop up and I'm like, somebody reposted it and put it in slow mo. Because as I popped up, I was like, and I was just like.

• 15:53Speaker 07

  Oh, so sad.

• 15:54Andrew Santino?

  You did look like a different guy. By the way, you could have gone, you could be a different guy. Adam Ray, if you never got skinny, you could be a pudgy, Adam Ray comedian would be a totally different character.

• 16:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:05Andrew Santino?

  It'd be weird to see you as a fat guy.

• 16:07Speaker 07

  She'd just like get in a fat suit for like a month and just go around town and be like.

• 16:10Andrew Santino?

  Like, what's her name did that?

• 16:12Speaker 07

  Tyra.

• 16:12Andrew Santino?

  Tyra Banks?

• 16:13Speaker 07

  But like, didn't she do it?

• 16:14Andrew Santino?

  No, I know what it feels like to be fat.

• 16:16Speaker 07

  I know, she just missed the fucking mark on that one.

• 16:19Andrew Santino?

  That was like when those, when those kids, when the celebrities went to space, quote unquote? Like Katy Perry and all them went to fucking space?

• 16:25Speaker 07

  I firmly believe.

• 16:26Andrew Santino?

  Are you guys doing?

• 16:28Speaker 07

  I, I believe that that was, I think we, I think we did the first time. I have no reason to believe we didn't.

• 16:34Andrew Santino?

  Didn't what?

• 16:34Speaker 07

  Go to the moon.

• 16:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, brother, we never went to the fucking moon.

• 16:37Speaker 07

  Really? Okay.

• 16:38Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking, that's insane.

• 16:38Speaker 07

  I don't know, okay.

• 16:39Andrew Santino?

  We definitely, have you ever seen the videos of that thing?

• 16:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, I guess they're pretty, well, Kim Kardashian just came over recently and was like, not, it didn't. And so I was like, I don't know if, who's she and I aligned?

• 16:47Andrew Santino?

  Who's filming it?

• 16:48Speaker 07

  Who's filming? Great call.

• 16:49Andrew Santino?

  I love when they're like, we left a camera back there. It's like, what? What are you talking, no you didn't.

• 16:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:56Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead, pipe up. I know you want to say something.

• 16:57Speaker 09

  I was gonna say, based on the shadows that the moon casted on the people, the limitation of lights at the time would have made the perpendicular shadows actually impossible.

• 17:07Speaker 07

  That's the sound of all the pussies drying up. The limitations of the quarters, wait.

• 17:12Speaker 05

  Quite frankly, the light refraction was, fuck you, dude.

• 17:15Speaker 07

  It's the brightest on 4th of July.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  Fuck you.

• 17:19Speaker 07

  Dude, I, oh man.

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  Fucking hate this kid, he's the best. Also the flag-

• 17:23Speaker 07

  How do you know that? That's incre-

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  Cause he's a fucking film nerd.

• 17:25Speaker 09

  Also because I'm a big Kubrick fan and sometimes it annoys me when I'm trying to have a Kubrick discussion with somebody. And they're like, "Well, what about the moon landing?" And I'm like, "The moon landing happened." Why would Russia say that it happened?

• 17:34Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 17:35Speaker 09

  It was in the middle of the Cold War.

• 17:36Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 17:36Speaker 09

  Why would they agree?

• 17:37Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 17:38Andrew Santino?

  We didn't land on the moon.

• 17:39Speaker 07

  Now Katy Perry and Gayle King, they didn't go. Because when Chris Thompson, God bless her-

• 17:43Andrew Santino?

  They just went out to the atmos- out of the atmosphere. They went into space technically. They didn't go to the fucking moon.

• 17:48Speaker 07

  Oh, we- oh, that's right.

• 17:49Andrew Santino?

  They didn't claim to go to the moon either. No, dude, they said they were just going into outer space.

• 17:54Speaker 07

  Well, I don't think they even went to outer space.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  Ready?

• 18:00Andrew Santino?

  That's the sound of Adam's brain. Slowly floating away.

• 18:08Speaker 07

  George Clooney and Gravity?

• 18:09Andrew Santino?

  Wait, you really think we went to the fucking moon?

• 18:11Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 18:12Andrew Santino?

  You're nuts.

• 18:12Speaker 09

  Well, wait- I don't understand why it was the height of, like, there's so much beef between different countries with the US. Why would the other countries be like, "Oh yeah, they did that"? Like, that doesn't make any sense.

• 18:21Andrew Santino?

  Well, cause it was the 70s. What the fuck did they know? They couldn't tell that we went-

• 18:24Speaker 09

  It was 1969.

• 18:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, okay, 1969. 69. They didn't know that we didn't go? How the fuck would they know?

• 18:31Speaker 09

  But why would, if there was any-

• 18:32Andrew Santino?

  This is like before forensic evidence. If you killed someone, you just got away with it.

• 18:35Speaker 09

  They would be like, they'd be like, "They didn't go." Like, Russia would be the first people to be like-

• 18:40Speaker 07

  How would they be able to crack those codes?

• 18:41Andrew Santino?

  They would never be able to figure that out.

• 18:42Speaker 09

  I know, but they wouldn't agree with us. I mean, if they had any shred of evidence, they'd be like, "Oh yeah, they faked it." They were looking for any excuse to say that we faked it.

• 18:49Speaker 07

  Follow up. Mermaids. Where do you stand?

• 18:53Speaker 09

  Those might be real.

• 18:55Andrew Santino?

  No. Not much. They are-

• 18:57Speaker 09

  90% of the ocean, yeah, is undiscovered.

• 19:00Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever heard the howling? The howling at night on the boats? The mermaid calls? "Wooooooo!" The mermaid sirens?

• 19:06Speaker 07

  Those are- wow. For real?

• 19:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you never heard that?

• 19:09Speaker 07

  No.

• 19:10Andrew Santino?

  Here, he can bring up a sound. Do they have, do they have holes?

• 19:13Speaker 07

  Yeah. Oh. And brother, I've checked.

• 19:17Andrew Santino?

  I bet you that smells like fish. Oh.

• 19:20Speaker 07

  There was a, there was a guy on my show, my late show, um, at Hyenas this past weekend in Forth Worth and he goes, uh, I go, uh, what's your name? He goes, Kurti from Alaska. And I go, and Kurti, what do you do, uh, here in Forth Worth? Uh, from Alaska. Kurti from Alaska. And I go, we established that? And what do you do out there? I go, what, what for fun? He goes, fish. I go, you catching any fish? He goes, I catch all the fish.

• 19:43Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he did, he caught all the fish?

• 19:44Speaker 07

  I go, I go, all the fish. He goes, oh, yeah. He goes, I'm faster than a salmon.

• 19:49Andrew Santino?

  He's probably, that's actually probably true.

• 19:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's probably faster than a salmon.

• 19:52Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, he, uh,

• 19:54Andrew Santino?

  By the way, did you get some salmon from that guy?

• 19:56Speaker 07

  I should have. I've only been to Alaska once. There was a, a bar called, uh, Chill Cook Carly, Chill Coot Car- Charlies. It's like, uh,

• 20:05Andrew Santino?

  Turncoat Charlies?

• 20:06Speaker 07

  Chill Coot Charlies. It's like a bar that's been there for like,

• 20:09Andrew Santino?

  Kachoo Kachoo?

• 20:10Speaker 07

  Fifty years.

• 20:11Andrew Santino?

  Is this a Beatles song?

• 20:12Speaker 07

  Yes, and it has about sixteen different rooms in it. One of them is called the Bird Room because there was like an earthquake and the room is like unlevel. It's literally got like fifteen little bars in it. And it was like the, maybe second time I ever headlined. I met somebody on the patio of the store after an open mic and they're like, you wanna come headline a week at Chill Cook's? We'll give you like eight hundred bucks for a week. And I was like, let's go.

• 20:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 20:31Speaker 07

  I did a show every night and then hung out there and, and I remember they had a little, um, they had a little, uh, uh, you know, food, um, window inside the bar giving out fish sandwiches. And on the last night, one of the guys was like, do you wanna go see the strip club? And I was like, never seen an Alaskan strip club. Let's go. So I put a little ketchup on my fish sandwich and some of you were like, that's a weird move, but you know.

• 20:50Andrew Santino?

  Ketchup?

• 20:51Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 20:51Andrew Santino?

  On a fish sandwich?

• 20:52Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 20:53Andrew Santino?

  Fried fish?

• 20:54Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 20:54Andrew Santino?

  That's okay, cause fried anything needs ketchup.

• 20:56Speaker 07

  Great, thank you. So I am eating it and unbeknownst to me, took a little bite, some ketchup, it spilled on my pants. I go in, it's like one thirty-eight and I've got twenty-two minutes before they shut down. And the, uh, strippers, uh, go walk back into the wilderness and, you know,

• 21:12Andrew Santino?

  Back to their igloos.

• 21:12Speaker 07

  Turn it back to their igloos.

• 21:13Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 21:14Speaker 07

  And I sit down and the guy goes, Kimberly, get my man to dance, you know, so I was like, oh, this guy really runs the place. I sit down, she starts dancing on me. She looks down after about a minute and a half, she goes, you know you're bleeding, right? I was like,

• 21:29Speaker 07

  You know you were still dancing the whole time, right? And she's like, "Yeah, I've seen crazier shit here." And I was like, "Oh."

• 21:34Andrew Santino?

  Gross.

• 21:34Speaker 07

  Gave her some money, get into the cab. The guy who dropped me off had just left, so I'm just out there front. And the hooligans outside of an Alaskan strip club when it closes, it's like a, a, a, it's like a video game nightclub. It was just all these people, you were like, "I didn't know we had these types of people." But it's Alaskans out in the woods, like people that were just like, you know, "I gotta get back to my moose," or like, you know, "I got, I got a staring contest with a beaver in about 30 minutes." Just every type of person. And I get into the cab, and he goes, "How's the strip club, my man?" I go, "Oof, dude, little case of, little case of the ketchup pants." And he goes, "Been there." And I'm like, "What the fuck?" No, you haven't. Impossible you haven't been there.

• 22:09Andrew Santino?

  Ketchup pants?

• 22:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:11Andrew Santino?

  And you still kept those pants?

• 22:13Speaker 07

  Same ones I'm wearing right now.

• 22:14Andrew Santino?

  Never washed them?

• 22:15Speaker 07

  Yeah. It's adamraycomedy.com for tour date tickets. Uh, the Who Is Me Tour right now is on sale.

• 22:20Andrew Santino?

  It's on sale, there's about 32 dates up there.

• 22:21Speaker 07

  32 dates, theaters, all theaters.

• 22:23Andrew Santino?

  How many is it? How many dates is it?

• 22:24Speaker 07

  It's about 30, I think.

• 22:25Andrew Santino?

  I think I guessed right.

• 22:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:26Andrew Santino?

  I just eyeballed it when you sent me the photo.

• 22:28Speaker 07

  We're finishing up clubs the rest of the year. Big, big, the last Phil show, December 16th at the Wiltern, and then the Moore Theater in Seattle, first time, uh, December 19th. But the Who Is Me Tour, that's it, that's where you get tickets. Portland, Vegas. We're gonna be in Vegas the same time.

• 22:42Andrew Santino?

  In March?

• 22:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:43Andrew Santino?

  Are you really? Where are you playing?

• 22:45Speaker 07

  The Win.

• 22:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's right, you're the night before me.

• 22:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:48Andrew Santino?

  Hmm, we'll see about that.

• 22:50Speaker 07

  We'll see about that.

• 22:51Andrew Santino?

  We'll see about that.

• 22:51Speaker 07

  We should, we should compare to, see who sells out first. And make a little bet.

• 22:55Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 22:55Speaker 07

  It's gonna be you.

• 22:56Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 22:57Speaker 07

  It's my first time doing theaters. You've done them, you've been to...

• 23:00Andrew Santino?

  This is your first theater tour?

• 23:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:01Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 23:02Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 23:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, you know.

• 23:04Speaker 07

  It was moving that way. You gotta, but who knows?

• 23:06Andrew Santino?

  We'll see, cause I've, I've, I've heard some of the fans are not happy.

• 23:11Speaker 07

  Like, dude, is he running his divorce material on podcasts, dude?

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  Adam, what's going on? And then my dad, fucking, I'm fat, my tits.

• 23:23Speaker 07

  Boo, I'm fat, my tits.

• 23:27Andrew Santino?

  I get my tits. You're gonna get fat again.

• 23:29Speaker 07

  My dad didn't believe in. Never ever gonna grow.

• 23:33Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you know what we were jamming to last night? Me and my cousin, me and Luke had a couple of, uh, Veterans Day soda pops last night.

• 23:39Speaker 07

  Where at?

• 23:39Andrew Santino?

  I drove back to the house. I drove back last night from Orange County, and he was just like... Shall we have a couple of sodas?

• 23:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude.

• 23:46Andrew Santino?

  I was like, well, for the troops.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Great call.

• 23:49Andrew Santino?

  For the troops.

• 23:49Speaker 05

  Hey, Monday night's kind of a fun night to throw a few back.

• 23:51Andrew Santino?

  Monday night's a much better night than like Saturday night.

• 23:53Speaker 05

  I kind of a, uh, dig it.

• 23:55Andrew Santino?

  I like a, like a midweek fucking let's go. We had a couple sodas and we were listening to, um, Talking Heads and we listened to like three full albums.

• 24:05Speaker 05

  Talking Heads, is that? You smile in the ocean. No, oh, that's Toad the Wet Sprocket.

• 24:12Speaker 05

  Talking Heads is, uh.

• 24:14Andrew Santino?

  Do that one again.

• 24:15Speaker 05

  You smile in the ocean. You know what I'm talking about, though.

• 24:19Andrew Santino?

  The most famous Talking Heads song you would know.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  I know, I know.

• 24:23Andrew Santino?

  Is probably Road to Nowhere.

• 24:24Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 24:25Speaker 09

  No, there's a more famous one.

• 24:26Andrew Santino?

  What? That he would know? Psycho Killer, he may not know that.

• 24:30Speaker 09

  Everybody knows Psycho Killer.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  Sing it for me, top to bottom.

• 24:33Andrew Santino?

  See, you'd think he would know it right away just on the title. He knew Road, he knew Road to Nowhere by the title.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  I got it, I got it. On the side of the road tonight.

• 24:40Andrew Santino?

  See?

• 24:41Speaker 05

  And there's bigger king in your sight.

• 24:43Andrew Santino?

  He can't hear music.

• 24:44Speaker 05

  But there's a car driving fast and you gotta get out of the way.

• 24:49Andrew Santino?

  Get out of the way.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  So you turn on your flashlight, you open your flashlight, you say to yourself, is this it? And you grab your daddy by the arm and say, can I suck on your mommy's tit? It's a psycho killer. You forgot your pants.

• 25:10Speaker 05

  So you grab some overalls from the laundry machine and do your psycho killer dance.

• 25:18Speaker 05

  One hand up, one hand down, move them over each other until the frown turns upside down and smash them together like a sandwich.

• 25:30Andrew Santino?

  Thank you, Seattle.

• 25:32Speaker 05

  Well, what, how does it go? That's not it?

• 25:36Andrew Santino?

  I think that's it.

• 25:36Speaker 05

  Okay. Next question.

• 25:40Speaker 07

  I know, my music taste is all over the place.

• 25:52Andrew Santino?

  You never heard that?

• 25:52Speaker 07

  No.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 25:56Andrew Santino?

  This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. I've talked about Squarespace so much on this show, I don't know why you're not using it. If you have developed a website of some kind, whether you're selling stuff, you're a personal trainer, or you make cute little mittens for your pup at home, whatever bespoke thing you're working on, or whatever business you've got, Squarespace is the place. It's incredible. They give you the option to make your own website, design it yourself, or use their incredible templates that they've put together for you to make something beautiful and engaging pop for your audience. My favorite is the SEO tools. It makes you show up more often. So people can see you more in their search engines, and every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions. So therefore, you're gonna pop up more, no matter what you're selling, or pushing,

• 26:41Andrew Santino?

  or what you're showcasing, it doesn't really matter. There's also a donations page and a videos page. Content creators, I know that's the thing these days. They have an incredible way to post your videos, streamline your service with cutting-edge design and email campaigns. So you gotta give it a whirl. Check it out. Go to Squarespace.com. You know it's Squarespace.com/whiskey. Give it a whirl. When you're ready to launch, use that code WHISKY. It's gonna save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at Squarespace.com/whiskey. You know the code is always whiskey. Hey, I'm here to tell you about Hollow Socks Alpaca. Hollow Socks Alpaca, you know about it. You've seen them on the internet. Very cute, and boy oh boy, does that fur make for phenomenal socks. You spend a lot of money on shoes, right?

• 27:24Andrew Santino?

  You'll see people spend hundreds of dollars on shoes, and then 50 cents on socks. Get yourself some comfortable socks that are worth the price, alright? And by the way, Hollow Socks aren't a ripoff. They're not super expensive. They're worth the price. They keep your feet so warm in the wintertime, which we're in, or in the summer, they keep them nice and dry, which I really love. I've been rocking them all the time. I actually rocked them to the gym this morning. And Hollow Socks are, they're soft and breathable. And they've got the everyday socks, which I like to wear all the time. They've got the Hunt socks, designed for cold mornings. You're out there freezing, waiting for that deer to pop up. That's, what is that, a 6.0? I don't know what I'm talking about. They got the trade socks, it's made for 12 to 14 hour days. If you're a worker person, you gotta use those. And, and they're so comfortable. You've gotta give them a try.

• 28:08Andrew Santino?

  No matter what your day looks like, Hollow Socks has got your little bunions on your feet. He's covered nice and good. For a limited time, Hollow Socks is having a buy two, get two free sale. Head over to hollowsocks.com today to check it out. That's hollowsocks.com for up to 50% off your order. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you, they're gonna say, hey, what'd you hear about us? Tell them we sent you, please support the show and let them know you heard about them from Whiskey Ginger.

• 28:38Andrew Santino?

  There's no fucking way he wouldn't know by that.

• 28:40Speaker 07

  I'm not even gonna pretend, I'm not one of those guys that goes.

• 28:41Andrew Santino?

  How about this one, but you know.

• 28:42Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I, yeah.

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  But you know, we're on a road to nowhere.

• 28:46Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, yes.

• 28:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, see, I told you that was the one he would know. I told you that. Definitely not my favorite song by them.

• 28:51Speaker 07

  What were the songs you're?

• 28:53Andrew Santino?

  Home, where I wanna be.

• 28:55Speaker 07

  Oh, that's them?

• 28:56Andrew Santino?

  Pick me up. And you know that, but you don't know Sack of Kill? That's crazy.

• 28:59Speaker 07

  I love that song.

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, Talking Heads is fucking.

• 29:01Speaker 07

  That's in almost every Sandler film, I'd say.

• 29:05Andrew Santino?

  Sandler's definitely a fan of Talking Heads, yeah.

• 29:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, it's, come on.

• 29:14Speaker 07

  I'm not good with lyrics, though, melodies I'm all about.

• 29:16Andrew Santino?

  You're like my mom, we talked about that before. My mom does that. Like a pop, like a popular song, she's like, I love that song. Like, you know what song she really likes?

• 29:25Speaker 07

  Boop bada beep boop.

• 29:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she does beep bada boop. No, no, but she does fake words, too. What was the song, um, what's the song? Um, uh, uh, uh, whis, uh. I'll take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my beer at three. My mom goes, and the chorus is, you're too sweet for me. And she goes, you're the beep in me. And I'm like, what is the beep in me?

• 29:53Speaker 07

  The beep in me?

• 29:53Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're the beep in me.

• 29:54Speaker 07

  You're the, yeah.

• 29:55Andrew Santino?

  You're the beep in me.

• 30:01Speaker 07

  How'd that beep get in me?

• 30:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's, you know, my, you know, one of my SNL test characters is Michael McDonald.

• 30:09Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 30:10Andrew Santino?

  Michael McDonald ordering McDonald's.

• 30:12Speaker 07

  You.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 07

  Do it. I'll take a number one with a Diet Coke. Oh, my.

• 30:19Andrew Santino?

  Sir, just, just ask it.

• 30:21Speaker 07

  Maybe some nuggets?

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  It actually did well in the audition, but they were like-

• 30:27Speaker 07

  Can't wait for that to end up on the show.

• 30:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it probably will. Fuck, fucking-

• 30:30Speaker 07

  They missed the boat on you, dude.

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, no. No, they were right to not put me on that show. By the way, that killed, that killed in the audition, but then they were like, if we go back again, they're like, don't propose, don't pitch that. I was like, really? And my agent was like, yeah, they thought it was funny, but it's not usable. I was like, Michael McDonald at McDonald's is so dumb.

• 30:48Speaker 07

  That's so, that's, bro, you could put that third in the lineup. You could put that, like, what do they say? The last sketches towards the end of the night are like, you know, the ones-

• 30:56Andrew Santino?

  But imagine if you got a great, if you got Keenan at the drive-through taking the order and then in the-

• 31:00Speaker 07

  Cut to him and he's always doing the, Sarah, just order the, you know, just like the very straight face with a smile, like, can you just order-

• 31:06Andrew Santino?

  And then you get another impression of another musical artist that you don't reveal in the back passing, in the backseat or something.

• 31:11Speaker 07

  Right.

• 31:12Andrew Santino?

  Right? Like, and then you pop, then you got a second beat.

• 31:13Speaker 07

  Or maybe it's a whole family at McDonald's. I don't know. Or maybe his son works. He's like, can someone handle this guy? I can't deal with it. And it's- Dad, is that you? See, that's what I'm saying.

• 31:23Andrew Santino?

  That'd be so much fun.

• 31:23Speaker 07

  There's a way to keep peeling a bag and adding more layers.

• 31:25Andrew Santino?

  Young people don't know who Michael McDonald is, dude.

• 31:27Speaker 07

  That's the problem.

• 31:28Andrew Santino?

  That's a little outdated. Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 07

  That's so funny, though.

• 31:30Speaker 09

  I will say there was a cut for Weekend Update sketch from around 2008 where Justin Timberlake did Michael McDonald's McDonald's.

• 31:38Andrew Santino?

  Did he really?

• 31:39Speaker 07

  Did you just look that up?

• 31:40Speaker 09

  I, I just-

• 31:41Speaker 07

  Oh, you gotta hit Justin.

• 31:41Andrew Santino?

  Never made it to air?

• 31:43Speaker 09

  They, uh, but they, they, Seth Meyers and The Lonely Island, they played it, because it was an Andy Samberg joint. They played it on their show. But Justin Timberlake doing the impression, but I think it never made it to air.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  I think mine's better than his. You heard that right, Justin?

• 31:56Speaker 07

  Hey, Justin, where's, where's my-

• 31:58Andrew Santino?

  Mine's better than yours.

• 31:59Speaker 07

  You heard that right, Justin. Hey, man, you might have been able to do, um-

• 32:02Andrew Santino?

  You might be able to sell out arenas.

• 32:03Speaker 07

  Say, oh, yeah, ooh.

• 32:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, but you can't do the impression like-

• 32:07Speaker 07

  McDonald's, McDonald's.

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  Imagine Justin gets upset about this, he's actually like, "Yeah, I saw what you guys were talking about, that was really fucked up." "No, no, we're just kidding around, man."

• 32:17Speaker 07

  He, I got to do a stand-up set at his rap party before his last show in Columbus last year.

• 32:25Andrew Santino?

  Awesome.

• 32:25Speaker 07

  And, yeah, it was awesome. I, I went out there and he was super cool and I'm sitting down there and he was, you know, talking to the whole crew and it was this little like Chinese restaurant burlesque club, there was like a pole behind me.

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  A Chinese restaurant burlesque club?

• 32:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, for the rap party. And then we went upstairs.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck? How'd you just breeze right over that? That's like a dozen jokes at once.

• 32:45Speaker 07

  Went in Columbus, yeah. I don't know what David Buster's-

• 32:47Andrew Santino?

  Priest walks into a Chinese burlesque club.

• 32:51Speaker 07

  Asked for some pad thai and a blowjob, not from the same president.

• 32:54Andrew Santino?

  He asked for a little bit of pants tie, you know what I mean? Tuck the noodle, tuck the noodle.

• 32:59Speaker 07

  A little surprise, surprise. And so, uh-

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  You can say it, surprise, supply, supplies.

• 33:04Speaker 07

  Supply, supplies.

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  Supplies.

• 33:06Speaker 07

  And so he's up there and I'm sitting right to the right and he, uh, he goes, uh, he's giving out, I think he gave out like a piece of the, like, the ground from one of the tours or something to everybody? And he was like even joking like, "I know you guys are all like, money, this and that, that would have been cool, but like, the ground or whatever." And then I, and then he looks down at me and he goes, "Oh," he goes, "Hey man," he goes, "Oh, you're pretty funny." He was like, "You're about to come up here, right? All right, don't bomb." And then everybody was like, "Ha, ha, ha," laughed really hard and I was like, "Oh, fuck."

• 33:30Andrew Santino?

  Fuck, what if I bombed?

• 33:30Speaker 07

  And then I get up there and they told me a few things, um, to, uh, they gave me-

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  Avoid?

• 33:37Speaker 07

  Well, they give me a bunch of names and things of his, like, two of his crew.

• 33:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 33:43Speaker 07

  Like, like, to joke, like, they roast the whole people. And the hotel, one of the gags I had was like, he started posting pictures, um, of people's signs at the tours and like, like, everyone was making signs, like, Justin, like, you know, "I'm bringing Sexy back," whatever, "Can I get a kiss?" you know? And so, we bought a bunch of poster boards and, uh, Norm, shout, my sister Norm, uh, produced the Phil shows with me, helped write a bunch of fake signs, because that was gonna be the last bit, like, "I found a bunch of signs on the floors at your past tour and I just want to show you guys some of the signs we found." And so we held up and we like spent time with like stickers, we made a bunch of- Make them all got kid signs, but it was like, you know, um, you know, I'm here, you know, like I'll, I'll so, I'll suck you off on stage.

• 34:27Speaker 07

  Like let's like, uh, give me that black snake moan or whatever. Like he was in that movie, like really aggressive ones. And then some were like play on words and, and that bit killed at the end, but we were making them in the lobby and somebody in his team. I guess they were all staying at the hotel we were staying at. I didn't know that. And so somebody saw that. And then I printed up the jokes to roast the whole crew with at the front desk and the front desk person like flagged it and sent it to his team. And somebody was like, yeah, you can't do any of these. And I was like, oh, so I quickly like, you know, panicked, wrote some other jokes. I think I opened with, you know, there's a big deal being here. Shout out like Justin and what a cool gift to give him like piece of the ground to your crew, man. That's awesome. Money definitely. Yeah, that wouldn't have, the ground though, that's dude, they're gonna fucking never forget that. Like, and he laughed, he was in the corner.

• 35:11Speaker 07

  And then I go, uh, he stuck around for maybe two jokes and then went up to kind of start partying. But the one that I hit him with, uh, where I go, uh, I go, you know, my sister, it's like crazy to be here. Like my sister had a JT. Uh, poster above her bed, you know, I had a Joey Fatone fleshlight in mine and he just kind of laughed and everybody laughed. And it was like one that people were paying attention for, I'd say three to four minutes. And then it was just like, they're ready to party. And so then I started doing like material and it was like. How much time were you supposed to do? This is like 15, 20. I must've done 12 and that was probably six minutes too long. I should have done a few hitters. Five. And then get out of there. And but, but thankfully. I'd done enough shit gigs to go like, this is a bar show. The amount of chatter was abhorrent and like, to be honest with you, like.

• 35:53Speaker 07

  I was like, God damn it. So every time I do, I do some jokes, some, I was like, I'll do some weed jokes and the jokes about having dogs as kids. And then, uh, and then just the laughs, get some pockets of laughs from some guys in the corner, some about them being in January 6th. And then I get pockets of laughter and then I just go, after every joke that wouldn't hit, I would just go. You know, look, guys, I'm not gonna kill myself tonight, but maybe at the show tomorrow. Like, and so then I would do a comment and then that would get a big laugh. Right. So I was like, thankfully I've, I'm comfy enough to go. I know how to at least handle this and not just, cause there's a version of that. I don't know, seven, eight years ago, maybe where the flat line and then just. So anyway, my dad is fucking bipolar. You know, he just frees up, you know?

• 36:37Andrew Santino?

  Get this guy off the stage.

• 36:39Speaker 07

  So I at least like stood my ground, kept it moving and then was just like, well, this didn't go the way you guys had planned, but this is exactly how I saw it going. I go, one more for J C Shaz, I says whatever. But the first joke, but the first joke for Justin, he at least laughed and then he was like, uh, he goes, uh, he goes, the fleshlight Joey's, he's like, it's big, right? It's bigger than you think. I go, it is. I go, dude, you are funny. Jimmy Fallon was right. And he laughed and then he like pointed to me. And then afterwards he gave me a hug and he was like, dude, tough room, like whatever. And super sweet, man, but.

• 37:06Andrew Santino?

  Tough room.

• 37:06Speaker 07

  Yeah. But yeah, it was like on the stage was a pole behind me, lighting not great.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  It's all, yeah, those are not.

• 37:12Speaker 07

  I don't give a fuck though. I was there to fucking.

• 37:14Andrew Santino?

  You're there to have fun.

• 37:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, dude.

• 37:15Andrew Santino?

  The name of my next tour is Tough Room.

• 37:17Speaker 07

  Not bad. Mine's gonna be called Adult Shit, I think.

• 37:20Andrew Santino?

  Adult shit.

• 37:21Speaker 07

  Because the guy, one of the managers at Heine is this past week.

• 37:23Andrew Santino?

  Can't put a cuss word in your tour name.

• 37:25Speaker 07

  You can't?

• 37:25Andrew Santino?

  Nah, it doesn't make sense.

• 37:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, but this one's the Who Is Me Tour.

• 37:28Andrew Santino?

  That makes perfect sense.

• 37:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. When you have a cuss word in a tour, I'm always like, what is that for? Who's that for?

• 37:34Speaker 07

  And you know what? It does, cause my mom is always like.

• 37:36Andrew Santino?

  Rockin', fuckin', roll. Coming to you live.

• 37:40Speaker 07

  The shit fuck tour.

• 37:41Andrew Santino?

  The shit fuck mouth fart tour. That sounds like, that sounds like the Swartzen. The diarrhea fart shithead tour.

• 37:50Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cock fart tour.

• 37:52Andrew Santino?

  That's funny.

• 37:53Speaker 07

  But it's Swartzen, you'd, you'd go, you'd.

• 37:55Andrew Santino?

  He's the best. He's the only one that can do that.

• 37:57Speaker 07

  Where that tour makes sense.

• 37:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Imagine it's like Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan presents fuck your mouth bitch tour.

• 38:04Speaker 07

  Jerry Seinfeld presents the pussy fart tour. What's the deal? Is it arrows in the queef? Nobody knows.

• 38:11Andrew Santino?

  I'll huff it either way. I'm a queef huffer. I huff queefs.

• 38:17Speaker 07

  Remember the first time you heard it? You went out and you checked the backyard for a hot air balloon.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 38:55Speaker 01

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• 39:25Speaker 05

  Aqueef?

• 39:25Speaker 07

  Aqueef.

• 39:26Speaker 05

  Is it talking to you?

• 39:28Speaker 07

  Do you talk back?

• 39:29Speaker 05

  I got two women yelling at me. Harder, deeper, harder, deeper. It's kind of Normandy. It's a little Normandy.

• 39:36Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 05

  Hey, harder, deeper. What are you gonna do? All right, I'm gay.

• 39:39Speaker 07

  Oh, my God. That's my Sam Morrell laughing at Mark, ready?

• 39:43Speaker 05

  Do Sam.

• 39:47Speaker 07

  So here, do a joke on the pod. Well, it's crazy, because I was at New York. I was at, I was at the Knicks game, right? And I was at the Knick, I mean, it's not a good sa, my sameness is a little doggy.

• 39:55Speaker 05

  It used to be knickerbocker. All right.

• 40:00Speaker 07

  No, man, we were at the Knick game.

• 40:01Speaker 05

  Should've called him Nick-a-bucker. Uh-oh, heads up. That's really good, dude. That's actually good.

• 40:07Speaker 07

  I could do laughs of like, I can do a Sam Morrell laugh, I can do a Rogan laugh, ready?

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Do Rogan. That is, that is pretty good, dude.

• 40:16Speaker 07

  That's all I can do. I can't do his actual voice, because it's just a little too.

• 40:19Speaker 05

  Or if you sling a joke.

• 40:20Speaker 07

  At the Comedy Store, we are crushing it. The mothership is just destroyed, we're crushing.

• 40:27Andrew Santino?

  That is good that he goes back in a way, up in a way.

• 40:30Speaker 07

  His laugh is infectious, but that's all I can, his voice is really specific.

• 40:34Andrew Santino?

  Or if you do a joke that doesn't land on his show, like do like joke and I'll do what he does when a joke doesn't land.

• 40:39Speaker 07

  Well dude, it's like, you know, I'll go to Denny's and get the grand slam, but I'm like, you know, do I have to eat around the pub? Or do I have to eat it out of courtesy?

• 40:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's funny. You, um, you, have you seen this polar bear fucking the shit out of this guy? And that's, I remember like the first couple of times I did it, I'd sling a joke, it didn't land, and he would be like, that's funny. And I was like, no, Joe!

• 41:01Speaker 07

  Where jokes gonna die?

• 41:03Andrew Santino?

  He'll kill you sometimes, dude. Sometimes he'll shoot, he'll shoot it right out of the sky.

• 41:07Speaker 07

  But I wonder too, is it like, uh, is it a like, he's thinking of his next question or it just didn't hit with him?

• 41:12Andrew Santino?

  No, it didn't make him laugh. If it didn't make him fucking, like that notorious clip of Shane being like, I'll just go on Rogan. And then Joe's like, is that what you thought? And he's like, no, no. It was so good. It was so good. Cause if it doesn't make him laugh, he's not gonna feign it. He's just gonna go, nah, it's not, I don't think that's that funny. Oh shit, dude.

• 41:32Speaker 07

  What's he, who would you say is, Sebastian's a real impersonable, probably the most impersonable comic.

• 41:38Andrew Santino?

  Sebastian's probably the most, uh, yeah, him or...

• 41:41Speaker 07

  But if people do, people have done Sebastian. Nobody does a Norman. I think probably now too, people just go like, yours is so good that they're just, no one's fucking with it.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  You can't come near my Norman, dude. And my alley Wong is really good. You've seen my alley Wong?

• 41:54Speaker 07

  That'll be, yeah, that'll...

• 41:55Andrew Santino?

  My alley Wong is so good.

• 41:56Speaker 07

  I've seen it, yeah.

• 42:01Andrew Santino?

  We didn't even do it. We couldn't even get there.

• 42:03Speaker 07

  You can't do it. It's just Bobby but pregnant.

• 42:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, it's Bobby but pregnant. And they're the same size now, cause he's on Oz. Bobby but pregnant?

• 42:12Speaker 07

  Looks good. I know, who, who said, uh, skinny Bobby? They were making, they said skinny, oh, Tom Papa. Tom Papa goes, skinny Bobby. I just, I don't know, I don't know. It's skinny Bobby. We made it outside today, you guys. Congrats for making it outside.

• 42:23Andrew Santino?

  I love Papa.

• 42:24Speaker 07

  I made some bread. God, the guy makes great fucking, he sent you home with some bread, huh? At the store, yeah, no.

• 42:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 07

  I haven't, I need to go on his bread show.

• 42:31Andrew Santino?

  Wait, you've never done that?

• 42:32Speaker 07

  I need to hit him up.

• 42:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's fucking, he's the man.

• 42:34Speaker 07

  I wanna do it.

• 42:34Andrew Santino?

  And you'll eat and get real good bread.

• 42:36Speaker 07

  He's a great conversationalist, but when he came and did the pod.

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  Brilliant comic, man. Brilliant comic.

• 42:41Speaker 07

  What, I think he gets his due credit and he's obviously selling out everywhere, but like.

• 42:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, I mean, just in the respect game of comics, he's, Papa's one of those guys where everyone's like, oh yeah, it's great, phenomenal comic.

• 42:51Speaker 07

  And if you're not, it's kind of one of those things where I don't trust you if you don't, if you're like, I'm not really a Papa guy. You're just like, oh, there's something for everybody with what he does.

• 43:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're wrong.

• 43:01Speaker 07

  You're wrong, man. I had a girl, I mean, I'm sure every comic has had this, but in line at the meet and greet go, you know, I hate comedy, but I really enjoyed the show tonight.

• 43:08Andrew Santino?

  I didn't need to hear it.

• 43:08Speaker 07

  I go, and I, you know, I'm thinking of skin.

• 43:11Andrew Santino?

  That drives me nuts.

• 43:11Speaker 07

  Thinking of skin, I'd not take it personal, but I just go, I go, I go, I go, that's so, I go, you're not the first person to have ever said that. I go, that also, I go, first of all, I feel bad for you. Are you like that miserable, like truly you hate comedy?

• 43:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 07

  Like you never, I go, what, what do you watch comedically? And he goes, she's got some shows, she's got some shows, Secret House and Mormon Wives. And I go.

• 43:29Andrew Santino?

  That is very funny, that show's hilarious.

• 43:32Speaker 07

  I go, they're all just trying to like, you know, just like soak and like, but they really just love.

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  They're all soaking?

• 43:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:37Andrew Santino?

  Soaking and the guy underneath the bed pushing?

• 43:39Speaker 07

  That's the funniest part that people, that was the most fun.

• 43:41Andrew Santino?

  Who's that guy, he's got a name, what's his name, the guy that's under the bed pushing the soakers? No, the guy, so you're soaking, but there's someone under the bed that's like moving the mattress.

• 43:48Speaker 07

  Or a family member.

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  No, but it's gotta have a name, there's a, there's like a, there's like a name for it.

• 43:51Speaker 07

  For the position.

• 43:52Andrew Santino?

  Right, kinda like, you know how like in a, in volleyball, the libero is the setter?

• 43:56Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  Right, okay, so this is gotta have a.

• 43:57Speaker 07

  There's a Chris Paul, there's a Blake Griffin.

• 43:59Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be a Steve Kerr out there somewhere.

• 44:00Speaker 07

  It's gotta be a Steve Kerr.

• 44:01Andrew Santino?

  He's in the cyst, it's also Steve Kerr.

• 44:03Speaker 07

  That was one of the most fun parts.

• 44:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, John Paxton, that's Utah, so that's close.

• 44:06Speaker 07

  He was the soaker of the Bulls.

• 44:07Andrew Santino?

  He was the.

• 44:07Speaker 07

  That was the fun part about doing it.

• 44:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, I'm saying, no, not John Paxton, what's wrong with me?

• 44:11Speaker 07

  No.

• 44:11Andrew Santino?

  He was the Bulls.

• 44:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:12Andrew Santino?

  Uh, uh.

• 44:14Speaker 07

  BJ.

• 44:14Andrew Santino?

  Stockton, John Stockton.

• 44:15Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah. That was one of the fun things about doing a Phil show in Utah was like, just, you know, every guest, we had Eric Griffin, Trevor Wallace, Dr. Drew and Hans Kam. And everybody brought up soaking, and then at one point I just went to the crowd and was like, who does it, who's done it, and who's excited to try it, you know? And I just went out, but it was such a, I wanna make the whole show about it, but it was like, we're in the place that it happened, so why not get?

• 44:39Andrew Santino?

  They birthed the soap.

• 44:40Speaker 07

  And there was a guy or gal, I think that stood up that we chatted with.

• 44:43Andrew Santino?

  It was a guy, gal.

• 44:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, it was a guy, gal, it was one of those combo packs. You know, when you open up a trading card pack, you got Pokemon and a Frank Thomas?

• 44:51Andrew Santino?

  And you love combos, Dr. Phil.

• 44:53Speaker 07

  I love them.

• 44:53Andrew Santino?

  What's your favorite flavor of combos?

• 44:56Speaker 07

  Stroganov.

• 44:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you love the Stroganov combos?

• 44:59Speaker 07

  Well, it's a, they don't make them anymore.

• 45:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they discontinued them.

• 45:01Speaker 07

  Discontinued them, and I'd like them to re-continue them, but, you know, you don't get what you want. Who said that? Caitlyn Jenner, after she killed that guy. But, alright, well, check the wifi, get online, let me know what you see. Talk like him for hours, dude.

• 45:17Andrew Santino?

  I love it, dude. Final Phil Show here at the Wiltern.

• 45:20Speaker 07

  December 16th.

• 45:21Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be sold out.

• 45:22Speaker 07

  We're about a hu- a hundred and some away.

• 45:24Andrew Santino?

  It's selling out.

• 45:24Speaker 07

  And it's gonna-

• 45:25Andrew Santino?

  Final Dr. Phil Show at the Wiltern, December 16th. Dr. Phil and some, some, you don't even have the guest lineup yet, you haven't told anybody.

• 45:32Speaker 07

  I've got it.

• 45:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you haven't told anybody, we won't tell anybody.

• 45:34Speaker 07

  Oh, no, it's always a surprise.

• 45:35Andrew Santino?

  Okay, yeah, no, no, I know.

• 45:36Speaker 07

  Which is why, like, I mean, look, we've got, it's always a surprise. My agent, when we were getting it going, was like, you need to get the show to a point to where, because like, you know, the second show we ever did was Santino and Bobby Lee, one of the best episodes arguably in the history of the show.

• 45:49Andrew Santino?

  That was so fucking fun.

• 45:50Speaker 07

  Oh, it was one of the, you know, what's always great is the amount of fun we had, I think Bob even had a good time. There were so many just great moments, he stayed put and like, bantered a lot.

• 46:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 07

  But, when you laugh hard, I mean, you're a great laugher, but like, when you, you laughed hard like you did with that Harland lotion clip at Fahim dancing, and a few other moments, like the, like the, uh, uh, cook, orange cookie monster, or whatever. Uh, or, uh, no, what was it? Sesame Street, uh?

• 46:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Asian Sesame Street.

• 46:17Speaker 07

  Fortune Cookie Monster. But you just had some, some classic Santino guttural laughs, and I was like, oh, this is like, and I just fell with it, the crowd work up top pre-guest was like, pretty strong.

• 46:27Andrew Santino?

  The episode was fantastic.

• 46:29Speaker 07

  But, uh, but your pop in Chicago, Chicago Theater was an all-timer.

• 46:32Andrew Santino?

  That was a blessing.

• 46:32Speaker 07

  And so, but this one is, so now, this show got to a point to where it sells without the guests, and, and it is now an added bonus to where it's like, you're coming to the last one, but, man, this one is like, wild, dude.

• 46:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:43Speaker 07

  It's, and it's gotta, and I'm, I'm still throwing a few Hail Marys to get a couple, uh-

• 46:47Andrew Santino?

  You will, they'll go, they'll go, whoever you're asking, they're gonna go.

• 46:49Speaker 07

  But it's already awesome, and I got some, I got some buddies-

• 46:52Andrew Santino?

  Cosby, Epstein, all your favorite hits, Ron Jeremy.

• 46:56Speaker 07

  Fauci, um-

• 46:57Andrew Santino?

  Fauci, Danny Masterson, they let out for a week to come do the show.

• 47:01Speaker 07

  Oh my god! Can you imagine, by the way?

• 47:05Andrew Santino?

  That guy David, who, who, that rapper who killed that girl, he's coming.

• 47:08Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:09Andrew Santino?

  All your favorite cons, ex-cons.

• 47:11Speaker 07

  The ba- the, the dad of the bear that RFK ate. We actually did do that in one episode. I go, please, I go, uh, it was, uh, this is just how wild this show could be. It was, the guests were Chris Stefano, I think Steve-O, Kumail, and Swartson, I think.

• 47:28Andrew Santino?

  That is such a fucking hilarious lineup.

• 47:31Speaker 07

  Totally.

• 47:31Andrew Santino?

  Those four guys in a car traveling across the country.

• 47:33Speaker 07

  No, no, this was at the store.

• 47:34Andrew Santino?

  No, I know, but I'm saying, imagine those four guys in a car.

• 47:36Speaker 07

  I know.

• 47:37Andrew Santino?

  Stefano driving, Kumail shitting shotgun, Steve-O in the trunk for some reason.

• 47:42Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:43Andrew Santino?

  And, and fucking, who's the fourth?

• 47:46Speaker 07

  Just to find, uh, Steve-O and Swartson?

• 47:49Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Swartson?

• 47:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 47:50Andrew Santino?

  Fuck me. That's such a great combo.

• 47:52Speaker 07

  Kumail was on, we had this great bit about, he said something about, like, working at a, uh,

• 47:58Andrew Santino?

  Working out?

• 47:58Speaker 07

  Call center, a call center, and then it was something about, I was like, I thought you were gonna say it was like a phone sex thing, cause he said he was, he's like, I know I'm, you know, Pakistani, I worked at a call center. I was like, I thought you did phone sex. He's like, no, and then he did a joke about butts and boobs, and I go, butts and boobs is actually the first porn I saw. He goes, it, he goes, what was the premise of butts and boobs again? And I go, uh, and we started improvising the premise. And, you know, he's such a great

• 48:17Andrew Santino?

  He's great.

• 48:17Speaker 07

  riffra, and he like laid out a whole nerdy premise to what butts and boobs would be about.

• 48:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I'm sure he could write a good movie.

• 48:23Speaker 07

  And it was like AI and all this shit, and like, anyway. But, so Chrissy D was playing American trivia against RFK, and Jeremiah comes as RFK, and then we had Amanda, my sweet wife, we bought a bear costume, and she came out as the bear.

• 48:35Andrew Santino?

  You put her in a costume?

• 48:36Speaker 07

  A bear comes out with the face cut out.

• 48:38Andrew Santino?

  She's gonna leave you, dude.

• 48:38Speaker 07

  No, she loved it. She loved it. And she came out and she was like, there's a picture of her and Bobby, actually, I think it might be online, is, uh, cause he just came through the, the back, just to watch, but, uh, we had her, it was like, they did trivia against each other, and then it was the bear that you killed, like, came back to life and left on the side of the road. And so he was like, I can't believe you found the bear, you know? And then she comes out, and then she goes, she goes, stay away from my family, bitch, but she couldn't get through it, cause she starts laughing.

• 49:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 07

  And then we had the fake punch down effects, and she starts hitting them, and like, oh, so funny, dude.

• 49:10Andrew Santino?

  She's the best.

• 49:10Speaker 07

  But yeah, that'd be great, December 16th.

• 49:12Andrew Santino?

  You got a great, you got a great wifey.

• 49:13Speaker 07

  She loves it, dude. She loves you.

• 49:14Andrew Santino?

  She's fucking, she's the best. She got, and made a nice, she made a house a home.

• 49:19Speaker 07

  She made a house a home, bro.

• 49:20Andrew Santino?

  You guys got a new house, and I was like, what a nice, she made a house a home.

• 49:23Speaker 07

  Dito.

• 49:24Andrew Santino?

  I don't like the mazuzas everywhere, but what are you gonna do?

• 49:27Speaker 07

  I know, it is a little much, but.

• 49:29Andrew Santino?

  As you walk in, right as you walk in the door.

• 49:31Speaker 07

  Every room, you're supposed to bless every room.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  Well, you know how like in a convenience store, the bun dun, you know, they're like the bun dun when you walk.

• 49:37Speaker 07

  Yeah, ours goes.

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  Every fucking room, I'm like, good Christ.

• 49:43Speaker 07

  That's a great song.

• 49:43Andrew Santino?

  Papa's home, the garage.

• 49:48Speaker 07

  It's a, it's a great like.

• 49:49Andrew Santino?

  And you guys also have tunnels underneath your house. Where do those go?

• 49:51Speaker 07

  We do, we do.

• 49:52Andrew Santino?

  Straight to New York?

• 49:56Speaker 07

  We'll be right back.

• 49:59Speaker 07

  Can you imagine?

• 50:00Andrew Santino?

  Hey.

• 50:01Speaker 07

  That's rich. I heard it. Thank you.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  I had stomach problems all morning. I apologize to the guest. Beer, we had a couple of beers last night.

• 50:09Speaker 07

  That'll do it.

• 50:09Andrew Santino?

  You know what the problem is at this age? If I, I like whiskey, have a couple of glasses of whiskey, fine. Couple beers now, my stomach, I am like fucking.

• 50:17Speaker 07

  Not a beer, I had a beer at the World Series and that was because baseball, but like not my pref.

• 50:22Andrew Santino?

  Not my.

• 50:22Speaker 07

  I get so full so quick.

• 50:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, you feel like, well, we're also getting older, fatter quicker. So you're like, this is gonna fat me out.

• 50:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 50:28Andrew Santino?

  By the way, sorry. Sorry about.

• 50:31Speaker 07

  Real close.

• 50:31Andrew Santino?

  Sorry about the.

• 50:32Speaker 07

  Real close.

• 50:33Andrew Santino?

  Did I think you guys were gonna win?

• 50:36Speaker 07

  Yeah, you did.

• 50:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I did actually.

• 50:37Speaker 07

  In that game seven or the whole series?

• 50:39Andrew Santino?

  The series, I was kinda shocked.

• 50:40Speaker 07

  We were up 2-0.

• 50:41Andrew Santino?

  No, that's not why. I just thought just better baseball, strong, some of the strongest hitters in the game. We won't need to get nerded out on baseball, but I, but I would love to, but um.

• 50:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, Cal, uh, shout out to my boy Cal Raleigh, had the most epic season for a catcher. He'll find out if he wins MVP. I don't know when this comes out, but this Thursday he'll find out if he wins. There's an argument to be made that he doesn't, but I think you're out of your mind. Yeah, Aaron Judge had a crazy offensive year, but Cal said all these records, a catcher doesn't hit 60 home runs, dude.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  That's impossible, yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 07

  He skipped three games, calling the game, playing every, I mean. Yeah, I don't know. Judge made some cool catches.

• 51:15Andrew Santino?

  No, Judge won't get it this year. I do think he.

• 51:17Speaker 07

  You think he'll give it to Cal?

• 51:18Andrew Santino?

  I think the kid deserves it. I think just given homerun derby champ, plus, plus kinda like a guy, a guy.

• 51:24Speaker 07

  He's an everyman.

• 51:25Andrew Santino?

  Well, a guy you root for.

• 51:26Speaker 07

  Judge is a, is a, is a, is a action figure.

• 51:28Andrew Santino?

  He's an untouchable.

• 51:29Speaker 07

  Cal is, Cal looks like he owns a Chick-fil-A in Rancho Cucamonga.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  And he does, and guys, the address for that is right below.

• 51:35Speaker 07

  It's right below, click below promo code BIG DUMPER.

• 51:37Andrew Santino?

  Big Dumpa, it's Big Dumpa.

• 51:39Speaker 07

  Filet nuggets.

• 51:40Andrew Santino?

  Big Dumpa, D U M P A.

• 51:42Speaker 07

  What a great nickname by the way, right?

• 51:43Andrew Santino?

  The Big Dumper?

• 51:43Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's cut off.

• 51:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, the guy's got a shitter, it's unbelievable. His butt, it touches his calves when he sits.

• 51:49Speaker 07

  It has to.

• 51:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he sits on it though. It's like, it's not even like, you and I would have to squat.

• 51:53Speaker 07

  Right here.

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  He's that high, he's that high of a butt?

• 51:55Speaker 07

  Check it out, get online.

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  Get online, get on the wifi.

• 51:58Speaker 07

  Google it, Google it.

• 51:59Andrew Santino?

  What's the name of the soaker? Did you look that up? I don't know if this is accurate, but it said The Jump Man. I love that. Jump Man, 23. Uh huh. Put him under the bed.

• 52:08Speaker 07

  Well, that's Jordan's IG handle, right?

• 52:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, The Jump Man.

• 52:11Speaker 07

  Oh, The Jump Man for the soaker?

• 52:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:12Speaker 07

  No way.

• 52:13Andrew Santino?

  The guy underneath is The Jump Man.

• 52:15Speaker 07

  Is that your post Jordan IG handle?

• 52:16Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be post. Jordan's had that IG for a minute.

• 52:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 52:19Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to MJ, by the way. Michael, I know I owe you a little bit of money from last time we played golf.

• 52:24Speaker 07

  You have not golfed with him.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  I think I owe him $875,000.

• 52:28Speaker 07

  You haven't golfed with him.

• 52:28Andrew Santino?

  No, I've never golfed with him, no.

• 52:29Speaker 07

  Based on that joke number.

• 52:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, you know that's true. He bets like 100 grand a hole. You know that, right? You've never heard this?

• 52:35Speaker 07

  Jesus.

• 52:35Andrew Santino?

  You've never heard this before?

• 52:36Speaker 07

  Remember, I never have an orgy with him.

• 52:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, that has nothing to do with that at all.

• 52:39Speaker 07

  Gotcha.

• 52:39Andrew Santino?

  But, yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 07

  100 grand a hole?

• 52:42Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes, I mean, dude, he's got, he's got games apparent, through the, look, I'm, I'm speaking out of, out of turn here. I've never, I'd have never experienced it. I have heard from people that say he loves to gamble on the golf course, as many rich athletes like him do. And apparently, he's had historically huge games where it is, it gets up to crazy numbers, like 100 grand a hole. Now, I've never experienced it, it's allegedly, but it's a great story to tell, because you're like, if that's true, that's fucking unreal.

• 53:08Speaker 07

  Does that take some of the fun out of it for you? Because you, you love golf so much. Would you let the gambling world bleed in and kind of dilute it, or no? Or is that part of the fun of it?

• 53:16Andrew Santino?

  I would never play for, that's insane. What the fuck, like that? Oh, you mean like gambling in general?

• 53:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, no.

• 53:21Speaker 07

  You'll throw.

• 53:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, you have to gamble, you have to. No, no, you throw a couple nickels on it for fun.

• 53:25Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:25Andrew Santino?

  But like, not, not something, not gross. No, no, no, no, not even.

• 53:29Speaker 07

  That feels not fun.

• 53:30Andrew Santino?

  Not even bummer money. Not even where you're like, well, I didn't like losing that. Like, me and the guys that I play with, friends that I play with, yeah, brother, you might, you might lose 30, 40 bucks. It's just for fun. It's just to like, you know what it really is? It's like, you buy the beers, or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, when the round is over.

• 53:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, that's good.

• 53:46Andrew Santino?

  It's a courtesy more than anything of like.

• 53:48Speaker 07

  Where we all win still at the end of it.

• 53:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because what the fuck are we talking about?

• 53:51Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:51Andrew Santino?

  By the way, who said that? Somebody, somebody just said that it is, it was like so quotable in my brain. They were like, I don't like giving my friends money and I don't want to take theirs either. And I was like, that's, I like that. Like, I don't, we don't need to have that weird like, you owe him five hundred dollars. Like, fuck that. What do we ta- why? No, so you bet for a couple of bucks. It's actually more fun for less money.

• 54:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:15Andrew Santino?

  Because then it's like-

• 54:16Speaker 07

  Take the stress off.

• 54:17Andrew Santino?

  You know, if you're like, ooh, presses on, five bucks.

• 54:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, totally.

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  It's something fun and stupid.

• 54:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:23Andrew Santino?

  Because I imagine if you do get like a Jordan in that level, it's not interesting for him unless it's

• 54:31Andrew Santino?

  a fucking unbearable amount of money.

• 54:32Speaker 07

  That hundred K must just be like, not-

• 54:36Andrew Santino?

  No- nothing to him, but cripple the guy he's taking it from.

• 54:38Speaker 07

  Cripple the guy.

• 54:39Andrew Santino?

  Like, imagine the guy is like, calling his business manager like, hey, um, yeah, I'm in Florida. Yeah, I, you saw the charges. So we owe, we owe Michael six hundred thousand.

• 54:53Speaker 07

  You can call my wife and tell her she's gonna be sex trafficked.

• 54:56Andrew Santino?

  And, and, yeah, and tell my wife she can keep the house, the cars and the kids. I'm jumping into the ocean. Yes, I'll be walking right into the-

• 55:03Speaker 07

  Right out front, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna lose you in three, two, I'm sorry, boat. I DM'd MJ when we were going to Chicago.

• 55:10Andrew Santino?

  You slid?

• 55:11Speaker 07

  Yep. I've done it with a handful of celebs.

• 55:13Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 55:13Speaker 07

  Hey, man, I'm sure you've had people reach out. Sometimes you go, oh yeah, they're comedy fans. Maybe they know. Buble and I have struck up a little friendship because of that. Um, with just being like, oh, I-

• 55:24Andrew Santino?

  Michel Buble?

• 55:25Speaker 07

  Michel Buble. And, um-

• 55:27Andrew Santino?

  That guy's got fuck, that guy can sing his dick off.

• 55:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:31Andrew Santino?

  He's unbelievable.

• 55:32Speaker 07

  He's wild. And a, and a cool, he's from Vancouver, so Seahawks guys, we do that.

• 55:37Andrew Santino?

  He's from, he's from Canada?

• 55:37Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  I'm out. I don't like him.

• 55:39Speaker 07

  It's a no for me, dog.

• 55:40Andrew Santino?

  That's a no for me, dog.

• 55:41Speaker 07

  One of the most popular catchphrases of the nineties.

• 55:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a no for me, dog. I'm out.

• 55:48Speaker 03

  We pour whiskey.

• 55:49Andrew Santino?

  Boys, boys, boys. I want to tell you about Mars Men. Mars Men is the best. Look, as we get a little bit older, I'm 42 years old. And at 42, you're a little bit slower. The mornings are a little bit harder. Getting to the gym was a little bit tough. I did do it today. Yay. Pat myself on the back. And that's thanks to some energy boost from Mars Men. Look, you go down this rabbit hole of trying to find out about tea. Everyone's like, low T. You hear about testosterone dipping down as you get older, which it naturally does. That's a part of life, fellas. But you can change that with Mars Men. And why go get a bunch of shots and do all that nonsense? Don't do that. If you want to feel much more powerful, stronger, more awake, more alert, more on the go, you got to try out Mars Men. It's made in the USA. By the way, it's got a 90-day money-back guarantee.

• 56:33Andrew Santino?

  So try it out for three entire months, or three months and some change, depending on what time of year it is. And you can give it back if you don't like it, but I promise you are going to like it, man. It's so much better. No synthetics, no needles, none of that stuff, all right? Mars Men is here to take you to the next step. As a man that is growing with age and time, you're aging like a fine wine. Might as well have that tea align with the rest of your life and schedule. Mars Men is incredible. And for a limited time, our listeners are going to get 60% off for life and two free gifts when you use the code WHISKY at mengotomars.com. That's mengotomars.com. Use the code WHISKY at checkout after your purchase. They're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show. Tell them that Whiskey Ginger sent you.

• 57:15Speaker 06

  Ginger. I like gingers.

• 57:19Speaker 07

  I watched America's American Idol audition recently. It was just so funny, dude. It was like this kid, he's like rapping, and his brother next to him was like, and it says like, when you bring your brother to work, and the guy's like, "I'm going with my dad and I'm chilling in my car." And then the brother on the side doesn't know when to interject, and he goes, "In my car, in my car." And then it cuts back to Simon, and he goes,

• 57:40Speaker 07

  And then it cuts to the woman and she's like.

• 57:43Speaker 07

  And then, and then the guy goes, and I told him, I'll go outside to get the food. And he goes, "'Cause I'm getting enough food, I'm getting enough food." And Simon's like. And I'm just like, they didn't even try to hide.

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 57:54Speaker 07

  How much they were just like laughing at these people. And these guys were, and they were, and then you see them like, as he was rapping, like, looking up and seeing them laughing, like, "And we go to the fans and the bunch, I keep going," like, oh. Like, so funny and like.

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  I love that they aired them all. That was the genius of that show. Nobody, I gave less of a fuck about the competition. I cared more about the auditions. It was, that's, that's the beauty of that was, what a find.

• 58:17Speaker 07

  That show, uh, uh, look, America at the end of the day predicates itself on the idea that if you think you can, go for it. Go for it. Sing yourself out of the shower onto the adult stage. But if you suck, it's going on YouTube and we're gonna make fun of you for the rest of your life.

• 58:28Andrew Santino?

  But why don't they do it like the Apollo? How come that's not back? Showtime at the Apollo should be a hit show again.

• 58:34Speaker 07

  Well, Star Search will bring it back for Netflix, apparently.

• 58:36Andrew Santino?

  But I wanna see the Apollo because they boo you. And I, I think that's fucking amazing. Oh, they fucking boo you right offstage, my guy. They will boo your, that is what I want again. Like, the problem with American Idol and all these shows is they're too, like, safe for American audiences.

• 58:50Speaker 07

  Lionel's like, "Great voice and I like your pants."

• 58:52Andrew Santino?

  Dude, give me the Apollo, give me Cat Williams fucking roasting you off the stage. That's what I wanna see.

• 58:57Speaker 07

  Like the way Jamie Foxx did with that guy at the shack roast?

• 58:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh my Christ, dude, that poor guy. That guy never recovered.

• 59:01Speaker 07

  He didn't, did he?

• 59:01Andrew Santino?

  Never fucking recovered from that.

• 59:03Speaker 07

  That, by the way, is an all time.

• 59:04Andrew Santino?

  That hurt my feelings. You weren't even on the panel. You're like, Jesus Christ.

• 59:07Speaker 07

  Oh my god, I'm still talking right now.

• 59:09Andrew Santino?

  This is your conscience.

• 59:11Speaker 07

  If you haven't seen that, it's worth a look up. Holy shit.

• 59:13Andrew Santino?

  Jamie Foxx just absolutely can't, what's his name? What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of his name?

• 59:16Speaker 07

  It's like something Harrison, I think.

• 59:17Andrew Santino?

  Rodney, Rodney Harrison, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's a, he was a famous comedian. He still is. I'm, no disrespect. I don't know him well. But that clip was.

• 59:25Speaker 07

  He took it in stride, dude. I mean, I, like, he laughed it off.

• 59:28Andrew Santino?

  You have to, dude.

• 59:28Speaker 07

  And, and played the straight man in it because like, you can't.

• 59:31Andrew Santino?

  You have to smile when you're getting stabbed, dude.

• 59:32Speaker 07

  Also, Jamie Foxx was, still Jamie, it was Jamie Foxx, he wasn't Ray Jamie Foxx at that point.

• 59:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but he's a funny, but he still was fucking the guy. Isn't that who it was, right? Rodney Harrison? Is that right? I couldn't find it. Jamie Foxx, Jamie Foxx, do, do Jamie Foxx roasts Rod, just like Rodney Harrison, I think that's his name. At, at the shack, it was for shack. It was a shack roast. No more. Have you ever done a roast?

• 59:52Speaker 07

  Did a Jelly Roll roast.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  Not taped, not filmed?

• 59:55Speaker 07

  They taped it. I don't think they'll put it anywhere.

• 59:57Andrew Santino?

  You'd be great on those fucking things.

• 59:58Speaker 07

  You know, I'm not. The one roast I ever did first, and really only was Josh Wolfe put together. He's friends with Big Poppy, David Ortiz.

• 1:00:05Andrew Santino?

  Love Josh Wolfe.

• 1:00:06Speaker 07

  Love him, shout out. He put together a roast for Big Poppy's charity in Boston, the House of Blues. And it was Anthony Mackie, great actor, Sarah Tiana, Bill Burr, Dustin Pedroia, Gronk, Jonathan Coachman, myself, fuck, who else? Josh, obviously, and Big Poppy. And it was supposed to be filmed for Showtime and for NESN, the Boston Sports Network. And the next day, Gronk backstage, I dressed up, I go, "I'm not really a roast guy." And now I feel a little more comfortable doing it, just because I've done a bunch of characters and doing it. And the Jelly Roll roast, I think, gave me a little more confidence.

• 1:00:41Andrew Santino?

  But you do it in character?

• 1:00:42Speaker 07

  No, I did this myself.

• 1:00:42Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:00:43Speaker 07

  And Kid Rock was up there and they told us not to make fun of Kid Rock. They were like, "Please don't, no jokes about Kid Rock. He's just hanging out. He just wants to have some cocktails."

• 1:00:49Andrew Santino?

  No joke about Kid Rock. Then you crumple up an entire sheet of paper.

• 1:00:52Speaker 07

  Oh, no, no.

• 1:00:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, there goes all of my shit.

• 1:00:53Speaker 07

  I rolled the dice and did a few anyway. I go, "Kid Rock, I see you up there. I'll make this quick. I know you gotta get back to talking too loud at a Cracker Barrel." And then I got a pretty good laugh. I go, "Cracker Barrel is actually how Kid Rock's life is gonna end." Anyway, what else we got? And I see him, and then we had a little exchange after the show.

• 1:01:07Andrew Santino?

  Nice guy to you?

• 1:01:08Speaker 07

  "Motherfucker, you fucking funny fucker." And Norman's like, "Hey, hey, careful. You put him in a tight..."

• 1:01:12Andrew Santino?

  "Hey, you're gonna break my neck."

• 1:01:14Speaker 07

  And then I have a picture of me, Kid Rock, and Norman.

• 1:01:16Andrew Santino?

  "I heard you live in the White House, Kid Rock, and I heard you like it white. You keep it that way, huh?"

• 1:01:20Speaker 07

  "Hey, am I white or am I wrong? It's in my new special. I'm doing a Biden stand-up special, by the way, one night only at the OR."

• 1:01:27Andrew Santino?

  Are you?

• 1:01:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Andrew Santino?

  You doing an hour as Biden?

• 1:01:29Speaker 07

  I'm gonna do probably 15 minutes, but bringing Godfrey out to play Black Trump.

• 1:01:33Andrew Santino?

  Black Trump, so good.

• 1:01:34Speaker 07

  And it's gonna be, I might have somebody play Hunter, I might have Jared do RFK. But I'm gonna do about 10, 15 of stand-up.

• 1:01:40Andrew Santino?

  Have me coming as Prince Andrew.

• 1:01:42Speaker 07

  Are you serious?

• 1:01:44Speaker 07

  Got so excited.

• 1:01:45Speaker 09

  Doug Williams.

• 1:01:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, fuck me.

• 1:01:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, Rodney Harrison's a football player.

• 1:01:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, sorry about that. I'm fucking hungover. That's alright. I'm moving real slow today.

• 1:01:54Speaker 07

  You don't seem like it.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  Upstairs, my, dude, they're playing, I'm playing, you know, you're playing tennis, I'm playing, uh, fucking paddleball upstairs.

• 1:02:00Speaker 07

  No, no, but this is why these.

• 1:02:01Andrew Santino?

  What's it called? Pickleball? I couldn't even get it out.

• 1:02:04Speaker 07

  Wait it this out.

• 1:02:06Andrew Santino?

  You're playing tennis, I'm playing handball, Venice Beach handball. That one guy that's always played handball, when he used to go play basketball on the west side and I'd go to Venice Beach to play ball. One guy playing handball, practicing by himself in those, in those, in those concrete caves. That guy's either the coolest guy on earth or the scariest motherfucker alive.

• 1:02:24Speaker 07

  I don't want to see him at a Rite Aid at 2am.

• 1:02:26Andrew Santino?

  Brother, you, because he's working. He's like, get out of here, I'm stocking.

• 1:02:29Speaker 07

  You know where the plan B is? And you go, what? He's behind the counter, just want to make sure you know. Alright.

• 1:02:34Andrew Santino?

  Alright, brother.

• 1:02:35Speaker 07

  Alright, brother.

• 1:02:36Andrew Santino?

  You work here, right?

• 1:02:37Speaker 07

  You're the reason they put a glass shield over the vitamins now, do you know that?

• 1:02:42Andrew Santino?

  I'm taking Tylenol all day long.

• 1:02:44Speaker 07

  Acetyminophen, acety, acety.

• 1:02:47Andrew Santino?

  Acetyminophen.

• 1:02:48Speaker 07

  Acetyminophen is right next to Afghanistan, of course.

• 1:02:51Andrew Santino?

  Acetymin, ity meeny miny, acetymin.

• 1:02:54Speaker 07

  It's the ity meeny person, the ity meeny, acetamin.

• 1:02:57Andrew Santino?

  I saw Matt Friend came into town and did a bunch, did, did spots at the store and did a bunch of his stuff. It is up for debate on who does it the best at this point. His, okay, so Friends, Howard is untouchable.

• 1:03:07Speaker 07

  Untouchable.

• 1:03:07Andrew Santino?

  But his Trump is different. I mean, they're all different, all these guys, but Shane's is probably my favorite. And James, James Austin Johnson on SNL is fucking.

• 1:03:16Speaker 07

  He's got the gritty that, and then there's, Matt's got a lot of the, uh, not even that, Matt's got more of the grungier that.

• 1:03:22Andrew Santino?

  He goes down a lot, yeah.

• 1:03:23Speaker 07

  But he does a lot of the, the phase, the, the face and the way he like, tilts his head a lot and leans towards the crowd.

• 1:03:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he does that. Well, he does mannerisms. Is it James Austin Johnson? I said it right, right? Yeah, because I'm fucking up everyone's name today. He's fucking rad.

• 1:03:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  There are a lot of rad people on that fucking show, man. Veronica got on that show, stoked for her.

• 1:03:41Speaker 07

  She's super funny.

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  Is her name Ashley Padilla? Ashley Padilla.

• 1:03:44Speaker 07

  Oh, I like her a lot. She's a future star on that show, I think.

• 1:03:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, she's gonna be a pop off.

• 1:03:48Speaker 09

  Yeah, well, she was on last year and had a few standouts, but she's really been destroying this year.

• 1:03:53Speaker 07

  She's Heidi solid to me, where she's just like, every sketch, I'm like, oh, I want to, I want to watch her.

• 1:03:58Andrew Santino?

  And I think she's.

• 1:03:59Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 1:04:00Andrew Santino?

  I think she's better. I think she's fucking great. That's not, no, no shot at her. I just think she's got, she's got cool range. I've seen her do different stuff where you're like, this is really fucking different.

• 1:04:08Speaker 07

  She's also, she's gonna pop off and I think get her own show of some sort.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a hundred percent. You know who she, you know who she's like? Sedaris.

• 1:04:15Speaker 07

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  She reminds me of how Amy Sedaris is very kind of like uniquely her own.

• 1:04:20Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:21Andrew Santino?

  I mean, she, because I think Amy's one of the funniest fucking people to walk the earth. And she's so her shit. Like, when you're so your shit, you're like, oh, nobody could, literally nobody could, someone could try to do that. Like, like, everyone could try to do a sketch show. A lot of people could do a sketch show. It's hard to do a sketch show where it's so obviously your sketch show.

• 1:04:40Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:04:40Andrew Santino?

  Where it's like, well, this is what you do the best. No one does this better.

• 1:04:42Speaker 07

  Right.

• 1:04:43Andrew Santino?

  What was it? Um, Jer, uh, Jerry Blank? What's wrong with me? Oh, my fucking god.

• 1:04:49Speaker 07

  Jerry Springer. Jerry Garcia.

• 1:04:51Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:04:52Speaker 09

  Jerry Lewis.

• 1:04:53Andrew Santino?

  No, Amy, Amy.

• 1:04:54Speaker 07

  Amy Sedaris, Strangers with Candy.

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but the Jerry Blank. It wasn't called Jerry Blank? Wasn't that the name of the character?

• 1:05:00Speaker 07

  Jerry.

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  Fuck, dude.

• 1:05:02Speaker 07

  Jerry Jewell?

• 1:05:02Andrew Santino?

  Thanks a lot, Miller Lite. This is sponsored by, what was it?

• 1:05:09Speaker 09

  Yeah, Jerry Blank.

• 1:05:10Andrew Santino?

  Jerry Blank. I was right. That was the character she did, right?

• 1:05:13Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 07

  Cool.

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  When she was like, okay, you guys. And she went back to high school as a fucking grown woman. She was fucking, dude, she's so funny. Anyway, um, I'll tell you what.

• 1:05:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:25Andrew Santino?

  I thought for years, that I've known you, that I, I just thought, I don't like Adam.

• 1:05:32Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 1:05:35Andrew Santino?

  You thought, you settled in for something real for a second? I did, I dug you in.

• 1:05:38Speaker 07

  Funny. Did misdirect. Misdirect is the best.

• 1:05:41Andrew Santino?

  Quick story. Fast story.

• 1:05:42Speaker 07

  Long story.

• 1:05:43Andrew Santino?

  Funny, one of the funniest nights of my life.

• 1:05:44Speaker 07

  Take your time.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  Me and you getting hammered doing the Christmas special, me kicking in your door. Maybe one of the funniest things on.

• 1:05:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:50Andrew Santino?

  I kicked in Adam's fucking door. Now, did you tell me to do it? Kind of.

• 1:05:53Speaker 07

  I think I did. I said, we needed to get in.

• 1:05:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but I kicked it in. I broke in his door on a. Of wearing, what was it?

• 1:06:00Speaker 07

  Wearing, yes.

• 1:06:00Andrew Santino?

  Wearing in La Brea?

• 1:06:01Speaker 07

  Wearing Avenue.

• 1:06:02Andrew Santino?

  I kicked in.

• 1:06:02Speaker 07

  Right next to Pink's.

• 1:06:03Andrew Santino?

  We got hamboned, we came home, we were locked out. Was your roommate home and sleeping and wouldn't answer the door or something?

• 1:06:09Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, he was passed out. Shout out to Sean, he was passed out on the floor.

• 1:06:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 07

  All the gas was on, he would do that every, from time to time.

• 1:06:15Andrew Santino?

  Leave the gas on?

• 1:06:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:06:17Andrew Santino?

  I mean, and I kicked in and broke that door. The amount of fucking wonky roommates, you've kinda, you, you're pretty parallel with me, I've had some fucking wackadoos, but.

• 1:06:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Andrew Santino?

  You've had some good ones.

• 1:06:26Speaker 07

  I've had some.

• 1:06:26Andrew Santino?

  I had a guy that painted the ceiling.

• 1:06:27Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:06:28Andrew Santino?

  That was one of the funniest things I've ever, I came home, he ripped up the carpet, he's like, there's wood floors under here, man. And I was like, why the fuck did you rip up the carpet, bro? Now there's glue all over the place, we're walking in glue.

• 1:06:38Speaker 07

  Oh, no.

• 1:06:38Andrew Santino?

  And then he painted the living room, blue, like darker than this, like dark, dark blue. And he, and then I look up, the motherfucker painted the ceiling, and he goes, I got some paint on your TV, man. And I was like, what the fuck, dude? You don't paint the ceiling. He goes, it looks more homey. I was like, no, it looks like a cave, it looks like we're gonna cut up bodies in here.

• 1:06:57Speaker 07

  So that's something that needs to be discussed with the household.

• 1:06:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, brother, he didn't give a fuck.

• 1:07:00Speaker 07

  He'll just paint the ceiling.

• 1:07:01Andrew Santino?

  This dude, he owned vending machines, he was such an enigma. He worked for Tom's Shoes, when it first started, remember Tom's Shoes?

• 1:07:08Speaker 07

  Fake place, no I don't, fake place. Tom Shoes.

• 1:07:11Andrew Santino?

  The guy who, if you bought a pair of shoes.

• 1:07:12Speaker 07

  He worked for Leanne's Dryers.

• 1:07:14Andrew Santino?

  That is Burt's wife's business, actually, Leanne's Dryers.

• 1:07:16Speaker 07

  Shout out, let's put the Instagram up.

• 1:07:18Andrew Santino?

  Shout out Leanne, one of the best.

• 1:07:19Speaker 07

  One of the best.

• 1:07:19Andrew Santino?

  Probably the greatest crusher, Leanne.

• 1:07:21Speaker 05

  Hey, she's probably the best crusher, yeah, that's the crusher when I see her take her shirt off, come on.

• 1:07:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, I got, I got five black friends, Tyrone, Jamal, Bebop, and Rock City.

• 1:07:34Andrew Santino?

  Dude, also, for real, shout out to the crushers, some of the nicest people that I've ever, some of the best humans that have walked here.

• 1:07:39Speaker 07

  Oh, my god.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  Leanne, number one.

• 1:07:42Speaker 07

  Number one, dude.

• 1:07:43Andrew Santino?

  I do, I love Burt, but, come on, man.

• 1:07:44Speaker 07

  Wait, you wanna hear a great roommate story, probably two weeks before?

• 1:07:47Andrew Santino?

  You lived with Leanne Kreischer one time?

• 1:07:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, we did, for about three weeks, it was a Craigslist find. Uh, no, I was living on Laurel and Hollywood, remember the old place, um, right up the street from the Laugh Factory. Yeah, right around the corner from where I used to live. Yes. Yeah, we were in fucking neighbors. Yes, which was the best. And, uh... We walked dogs together. Walked dogs together. And there was, uh, I went to the Ghostbusters premiere. I had a little part in that and got to voice Slimer. And I met, uh, Ray Parker Jr. that night at the premiere. Whoa. I met Akkord. It was awesome. Everybody, it was one of those premieres that like, it was the Paul Feig all-female Ghostbusters. So everybody came to it. And it was at Man's Chinese. And then they rented out the Roosevelt and turned it into, just, they went nuts. They, Sony spent a lot of money. Did they put slime all over it? Everyone got slimed, dude. Everyone? And guess what? It was cum. We got you there. We got you there. We got you there.

• 1:08:32Speaker 07

  That's not cool. That's actually assault. That's illegal, man. They all got busted. They all got busted. But guess what? Bustin' makes you feel good. Oh, yeah, damn it. All right. Bustin' make me feel good. So Ray Parker, meet him. He, uh, he goes, "What you do, man? What you do?" And I go, uh... No, what's that accent that you're doing? Jamaican. Oh. And I go, uh, I go, uh, "I'm a comedian, man." He goes, "Man, you performing out there?" And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "I would love to come see you live." And I go, "Take my number. Swap numbers with Ray Parker Jr." Still got it. Cut to... Call him. Eric Marino shout-out was there. We get... Comedian, Eric Marino. Okay. End of the night, I'm just, I always stick around these things till the very end. When I did the Heat, I stuck around the very end at the Heat premiere in New York was myself,

• 1:09:12Speaker 07

  Joey McIntyre, who we became buds that night, one of my best buds now, Allison Jones, who cast the movie, my best friend Anthony Ariema, who drove up from DC since 5th grade just to be there, Allison Jones' niece's nephew, and Ben Affleck was there shitfaced. And I have a picture, it might be online, of me, Ben Affleck, and they had a, a Heat poster that you could take pictures of in front. And Allison Jones was like, "I really want a picture with Ben." I go, "I'll ask him." So I go up, I had asked him earlier to take a picture with Puddin'. And, uh, and he was so sweet. He was like, "Oh, yeah. Good job on the movie, man. Blah, blah." I go, "Do you mind taking a picture with my mom? She's a big fan." He's like, he's like, "I know it's you, man. I know you're the fan." I go, "I am, dude. Do you mind though?" And like, it was real fun. And then he got a picture, but he was shitfaced at the end of the night. And it's me, Ben, Allison, and my buddy. And Ben did not want the picture. But I was like, Allison wants it. It's only us.

• 1:09:57Speaker 07

  There was us and the staff and this picture. And we're all like, and Ben's like...

• 1:10:02Andrew Santino?

  Hammered, is it online? We gotta find that and bring that up.

• 1:10:04Speaker 07

  Adam Ray heat, Affleck picture.

• 1:10:05Andrew Santino?

  And what is that? And Ben Affleck is the, who, that's Matt Damon's buddy?

• 1:10:08Speaker 07

  It's Matt Damon's buddy. He was in Good Will Hunting. I don't think, I don't think he did.

• 1:10:12Andrew Santino?

  What part?

• 1:10:12Speaker 07

  Anything after that, he was in, um.

• 1:10:13Andrew Santino?

  He's good or will?

• 1:10:14Speaker 07

  He was in not baseball, but a movie about, I don't know. He was, I think he was something he, once directed J-Lo in a short film.

• 1:10:22Andrew Santino?

  Let's see.

• 1:10:23Speaker 07

  Yeah, great.

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, fucking so hammered.

• 1:10:25Speaker 07

  Wait.

• 1:10:26Andrew Santino?

  Good Christ, you put that online, he was probably like, fuck dude.

• 1:10:29Speaker 07

  Yeah, I might have tagged him in it too.

• 1:10:30Andrew Santino?

  Is he sober, Boonah? Damn, Adam.

• 1:10:35Speaker 00

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• 1:11:06Speaker 01

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• 1:11:35Andrew Santino?

  Who's that to your, to your left? Who is that girl, that blonde girl?

• 1:11:38Speaker 07

  Uh, she's another one of the casting gals in New York.

• 1:11:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she looks familiar.

• 1:11:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, you know her.

• 1:11:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Speaker 07

  God damn it. Anyway, Ray Parker, meet Marino and I, I'm staying till the end of the premiere. I'm just staying till the end. Melissa McCarthy, McCarthy shout out was staying, we had some cocktails, then she leaves. Then me and Marino there and I'm like, fuck, I can walk back home. He's like, I'll walk with you. Walk back to a certain point in Hollywood, he dips out, I go back and I'm, I'm, man, I turned it up. And I'm like, I've blacked out maybe twice ever, this was pretty close. And I get back, I get the code to go in, don't have my keys on me. And my roommate at the time was, uh, was gone. And all I wanna do, we've all been there, if you drink, you smoke, you throw them back, you like to have a good time, you turn things up, you spark one up, you burn one down, you know what I'm talking about.

• 1:12:22Speaker 07

  All you want, you're thinking of bed, food, cuz I just was mingling and, and, and drinking, I just, I barely, I didn't eat any of the fun little Ghostbuster, you know, proton packed cupcakes or whatever the bullshit they had. I didn't touch, I didn't eat anything, so I'm starving. And I got this Thai place that's always open late that I'm at order from and, uh, called Bobby Lee's Pregnant. And I order from this Thai, it's a callback to earlier, and I, uh, I order the food. Is it Koi or Toy? It might have, no, it was another place, I don't think it's open anymore. Okay, yeah. But I used to prank call it. Yeah. Cuz of me, well, we used to prank call it, when Brad and I would do the podcast and we had anyone on that would do impressions, we would have them prank call this Thai restaurant that I always ordered from, and I never felt back cuz I go, I give them a lot of business. Justin Rowland, who did Rick and Morty, prank called him as Rick and Morty. Uh, Ari Spears called his DMX and ordered that N-word shrimp.

• 1:13:08Speaker 07

  That was so good. Yeah, you heard that? Yeah, the N-word shrimp? Yeah. It was delicious, but it was always late. By the way, the guy said it back. Well. He goes, the what, he said it back and oh, he's dying, Aries. And then we had, uh, we had, uh, Dana Carvey do Paul McCartney and order some like, you know, you have a mooshu buh, I mean. A mooshu buh. The mooshu buh, so I get home, no keys, the food is on the way. I'm like fucking so pissed, I start like banging on the door, I think my roommate might be in there, banging on the door, so fuck it, my phone's about to die. Uh, I call locksmith, locksmith comes down, he's like, it's gonna be about forty-five, I'm like, it's all good, man, just come on down as soon as you can, I'll give you double if you can just get here as soon as you can, I'm starving, I'm fucked up, I gotta get inside. All right, man, comes down, tries like eighty keys, none of the keys have worked.

• 1:13:53Speaker 07

  And now I'm just getting frustrated, I'm like, you're supposed to be a locksmith, and now I'm gonna get a little tootie. And he goes, the fuck does that mean, dude? I go, you got a thousand keys, not one of them can open this door, this door is like, this isn't a new door, I'm like, this means such an asshole. It's a shleg, it's a regular shleg. And he goes, he goes, he goes, dude, I fucking, he goes, this is what I fucking do, it's not my keys, it's your door. Roxanna, my landlord, comes down, add them please, she'd already given me a hard time earlier that week. Why didn't she fucking give you a key? She didn't have my key. You're supposed to leave copies of your keys with them. I never, it's one of the things I just never did.

• 1:14:26Andrew Santino?

  Such an Adam Ray move.

• 1:14:27Speaker 07

  Totally, to just, yeah. And, uh, and so she doesn't have a key. And, um, and so she's like, just keep it down though. Cause like now we're getting complaints, being loud. Me and the guy are getting into it. I'm like, I don't even think you fucking whatever dude. He's just like, I'm like, I called you out. He's like, well, you still gotta pay me. I'm like, I ain't paying you shit.

• 1:14:43Andrew Santino?

  Get fucked.

• 1:14:43Speaker 07

  He goes, already charged your card, buddy. And it's kinda like got in my face. I go, you're the worst fucking locksmith I've ever fucking seen, bro. And he's walking away. He goes, you wanna get in your place? You wanna get in your fucking place? I go, yeah. I go, but I'm gonna have to call another locksmith. He goes, fuck that. Turns around, pulls a Santino and Vandams my door down and it fucking splits. And I go, yes. I gave him a hug. He goes, you got it, man. I go, he goes, leave a five star review. I go, awesome. Thank you so much. My food shows up right after that. I sit down, I walk in, I'm like, oh fucking pad Thai. Roxanna comes back by, fucking, you gotta keep it down. I sit down, I'm eating my pad Thai, door's broken. I got in. I open my phone. There's a forty-eight minute voicemail being left on Ray Parker Jr.'s phone.

• 1:15:25Speaker 07

  I swear to God. And I just pick it up and I go, oh shit. I go, Ray, big fan. Great to meet you.

• 1:15:31Andrew Santino?

  You called him in the middle of it.

• 1:15:32Speaker 07

  The whole, the whole thing was on the voicemail.

• 1:15:35Andrew Santino?

  He's right, he's gonna write a song about it right now.

• 1:15:38Speaker 07

  He didn't listen to any of it. It's one of those things where you like, you know, on the iPhone, you just go forty-eight minutes. Just met this guy. What, he sent me his whole set?

• 1:15:46Andrew Santino?

  But imagine.

• 1:15:47Speaker 07

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:15:47Andrew Santino?

  Him listening to you argue with a locksmith and walk home.

• 1:15:52Speaker 07

  Real heated too.

• 1:15:52Andrew Santino?

  Him hear you ta- say to a locksmith, you're like, I'm, I'm waiting. I'm, well, I need to get inside. They're, they're about to deliver my N-word shrimp in about two minutes.

• 1:16:01Speaker 07

  It's an Eddie Spears joke. By the way, this isn't a new door. Yeah. I know like I'm getting fired up telling the story, but it for sure was slower.

• 1:16:09Andrew Santino?

  New door bitch, motherfucker. Well, no, you do this. You go, it's not like it's a fucking new door. And then to as a, to an aside. Fucking bitch ass mother. You know you're mumbling under your breath to the guy? Poor bastard. And shout out to Mike Work Locks. Uh, Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike Work Locks.

• 1:16:26Speaker 07

  Is that your guy?

• 1:16:27Andrew Santino?

  Mike Work Locks. Yeah. Like at Mike Work. You never know. That's what he says.

• 1:16:30Speaker 07

  Funny. That's like.

• 1:16:31Andrew Santino?

  Mike Work Locks.

• 1:16:32Speaker 07

  That's like the porn name Will Pounder. I met him at the Laugh Factory once.

• 1:16:35Andrew Santino?

  Will Pounder. Yeah. He's good. I like, uh.

• 1:16:38Speaker 07

  Must fucker.

• 1:16:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, must, uh, um.

• 1:16:42Andrew Santino?

  Now, what's the big black guy's name?

• 1:16:43Speaker 07

  Mike Cock.

• 1:16:44Andrew Santino?

  Jason something?

• 1:16:44Speaker 07

  Or Mike Hawk.

• 1:16:46Andrew Santino?

  Mike Hawk. Make Hawk, Mike Hawk.

• 1:16:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:16:48Andrew Santino?

  Mike Hawk.

• 1:16:48Speaker 07

  But you say it fast, you know what you're getting.

• 1:16:50Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to the adult film industry. Bop, mattress actress, ma- mattress actresses.

• 1:16:56Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:16:56Andrew Santino?

  Keep on ridin'.

• 1:16:57Speaker 07

  What is that?

• 1:16:58Andrew Santino?

  You don't know what a bop is?

• 1:16:59Speaker 07

  Psych.

• 1:17:00Andrew Santino?

  You're not one of the kids. You're not cool with the kids.

• 1:17:02Speaker 07

  But I know what talking heads is.

• 1:17:03Andrew Santino?

  You don't ever, you don't know what a mattress actress is? That's what they call themselves now online to not get doxed. They do that online.

• 1:17:08Speaker 07

  Mattress actress?

• 1:17:09Andrew Santino?

  Mattress actress. They say that on TikTok now so they don't get fucked by the algorithm, right? You can't say porn star.

• 1:17:16Andrew Santino?

  YouTube probably just banned me for that. They also say corn. Yeah, they say corn star.

• 1:17:21Andrew Santino?

  Or instead of saying, instead of saying like someone died or murdered, they said they got. Unalived. Unalived. We talk like babies now.

• 1:17:27Speaker 07

  I don't like that.

• 1:17:27Andrew Santino?

  They unalived me!

• 1:17:29Speaker 07

  The unalived, yeah, who, who started that?

• 1:17:30Andrew Santino?

  Imagine if the news was like, an unalived mattress actress? Or a bop in the streets?

• 1:17:35Speaker 07

  Dude, the news bloopers, I can't get enough of. One of my favorite rabbit holes. Soldiers coming home early to surprise their kids and news bloopers. Two of Adam Ray's favorite rabbit holes.

• 1:17:43Andrew Santino?

  News bloopers.

• 1:17:44Speaker 07

  News bloopers, there's one where the woman goes, "And a man in, um, uh..."

• 1:17:48Andrew Santino?

  And get this.

• 1:17:49Speaker 07

  And, and get this, "A man in North Dakota was found, uh, a man who'd been lost for six days, and they, when they found him, he was gay or blind."

• 1:17:56Andrew Santino?

  Yes. I love that.

• 1:17:58Speaker 07

  You see that one? Just totally.

• 1:17:59Andrew Santino?

  And get this, he's gay, uh, blind.

• 1:18:01Speaker 07

  Yeah. There's a couple of real good ones.

• 1:18:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, there's also, uh, bug in the mouth, black guy bug in the mouth?

• 1:18:08Speaker 07

  What's that?

• 1:18:09Andrew Santino?

  Black guy by the fence gets the bug in the mouth? What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that, Jim? That's so good.

• 1:18:13Speaker 07

  Oh, that's a guy in the, being interviewed.

• 1:18:14Andrew Santino?

  But my favorite is Serene Branson. We brought her up many times. Serene Branson outside of, uh...

• 1:18:18Speaker 07

  Oh, he- he- the terrace, the Los, the terrace, Tepeh, Tepeh, the Petherpit.

• 1:18:21Andrew Santino?

  Head to the pit.

• 1:18:22Speaker 07

  The Petherpit, back to you in the studio.

• 1:18:23Andrew Santino?

  Shout out Serene, we love you very much.

• 1:18:24Speaker 07

  Well, you know I did that video.

• 1:18:26Andrew Santino?

  S- Serene Branson?

• 1:18:27Speaker 07

  So...

• 1:18:28Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, you duped it?

• 1:18:29Speaker 07

  No, so, back when, uh, you know, we're throwing up YouTube vids. Um, Dunkin' Rocks sketches.

• 1:18:37Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 1:18:38Speaker 07

  Christmas party sketch.

• 1:18:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:39Speaker 07

  Uh, sloppy, very sloppy Christmas, still up on the tube. Um, check it out this holiday season. Our Christmas, uh, albums.

• 1:18:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I know, I know, but what did I say? Uh, uh...

• 1:18:50Speaker 07

  It's...

• 1:18:51Andrew Santino?

  You're like, "Santa Claus coming to town," I'm like, "Big deal."

• 1:18:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, we rented that, yeah, so...

• 1:18:56Andrew Santino?

  We were hammered.

• 1:18:57Speaker 07

  So, we were four bottles of wine and blunts and then drank and then I fell in.

• 1:19:00Andrew Santino?

  The weed is what pushed us into fucking space. We were just, we were drunk and having...

• 1:19:03Speaker 07

  We were fine and drunk and then...

• 1:19:04Andrew Santino?

  The weed, uh, we were like...

• 1:19:07Andrew Santino?

  We went back to 1969, actually landed on the moon.

• 1:19:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, we were the original ones, but so.

• 1:19:13Andrew Santino?

  I was fucking wrecked.

• 1:19:15Speaker 07

  There's a video, it's on.

• 1:19:16Andrew Santino?

  Your roommate drove us.

• 1:19:17Speaker 07

  He drove us back, thank god. I did, uh, you know, I was still, I was trying to be topical with some videos. And literally, I'm at home, it was a Sunday night.

• 1:19:25Andrew Santino?

  Widowie?

• 1:19:26Speaker 07

  And it was, say it again?

• 1:19:27Andrew Santino?

  Widowie?

• 1:19:28Speaker 07

  Widowie?

• 1:19:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you were a widowie.

• 1:19:29Speaker 07

  Did I just say that?

• 1:19:30Andrew Santino?

  No, I just, you were supposed to.

• 1:19:31Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 1:19:32Andrew Santino?

  Nobody says L's anymore.

• 1:19:34Speaker 07

  Oh, widowie?

• 1:19:34Andrew Santino?

  Don't take an L, do you understand what I'm saying?

• 1:19:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah. By the way, I was a big fan of that kid in elementary school that had the widowie?

• 1:19:39Andrew Santino?

  Widowie?

• 1:19:40Speaker 07

  With the speech.

• 1:19:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the kid that said that?

• 1:19:41Speaker 07

  We had a kid named.

• 1:19:42Andrew Santino?

  Adam, you're widowie the best baseball player we have.

• 1:19:44Speaker 07

  We had, our guy was William Wright, so.

• 1:19:47Andrew Santino?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:19:47Speaker 07

  William White.

• 1:19:49Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I can't say the guy's name, because I'm gonna fucking.

• 1:19:51Speaker 07

  I love saying the full names, I've done it on this pod many a times.

• 1:19:53Andrew Santino?

  I do sometimes for guys, but if I'm not friends with them anymore.

• 1:19:56Speaker 07

  Nah, but my intentions are good. And the shoutouts I've given have always, it's never been like, this fucking, you know.

• 1:20:01Andrew Santino?

  We had a guy with the lisp, his name was Sen Soldwaddle, imagine that.

• 1:20:05Speaker 07

  That's tough.

• 1:20:05Andrew Santino?

  Sen Killwaddle.

• 1:20:06Speaker 07

  Sen Killwaddle.

• 1:20:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:07Speaker 05

  Well, you know what, you guys?

• 1:20:10Speaker 07

  You know what? Speaking, speaking for Sen Killwaddle, which is me.

• 1:20:13Andrew Santino?

  He only spoken third person, too.

• 1:20:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, speaking of, I mean, you can go down to Sizzler, but it's a pretty slippery slope these days.

• 1:20:19Andrew Santino?

  Also, in retrospect, fucking killer name, Sen. I didn't really, Sen, Sen is a dope name.

• 1:20:24Speaker 07

  S E N N?

• 1:20:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Sen Soldwaddle.

• 1:20:26Speaker 07

  Let's go.

• 1:20:27Andrew Santino?

  This is, that's funny when I think about it, Adam, lame name, Andrew, lame name, like, these are boring, they're right, they're run of the mill.

• 1:20:33Speaker 07

  First man, first man, but first, uh, real composer that got some, some, you know, buzz, Andrew Lloyd Wright.

• 1:20:39Andrew Santino?

  Lloyd Webber.

• 1:20:40Speaker 07

  Lloyd Wright? Who's that?

• 1:20:42Andrew Santino?

  Frank Lloyd Wright, built houses, Andrew Lloyd Webber made one of the greatest musicals of all time.

• 1:20:47Speaker 07

  Into the woods.

• 1:20:48Andrew Santino?

  And by the way, did I have an, you wanna know how, how, uh, art faggy I might be? Had an Andrew Lloyd Webber poster in my fucking room as a kid. I thought Phantom of the Opera was the greatest thing ever.

• 1:20:59Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:21:00Andrew Santino?

  It was, it was Batman. I've talked about this many times. Phantom of the Opera was Batman. In this, it's the way I loved Batman is the way I love Phantom of the Opera.

• 1:21:07Speaker 07

  You love Batman?

• 1:21:07Andrew Santino?

  Superman, get fucked, nerd.

• 1:21:10Speaker 07

  Never got it.

• 1:21:10Andrew Santino?

  Spider-Man can kick a bunch of rocks. Peter Parker, skinny dork, get the fuck out of here.

• 1:21:16Speaker 07

  Also not real. Batman was like, you're like, oh, that's a guy, a rich guy.

• 1:21:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's a piece of shit when you really think about it, but I did like, I liked him as Batman. As, as, as Bruce Wayne, he's a fucking turd.

• 1:21:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:21:27Andrew Santino?

  He's a rich philanthropist dickhead who throws like lavish parties and is kind of rude to everybody.

• 1:21:31Speaker 07

  And you know he's paid off a lot of Me Too cases. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, he's great to women. Okay. He has me in his bat cave. Yeah, there's real consensual shit going on there.

• 1:21:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and Alfred has to watch it all. He's cuckin' all of it. I'll watch, sir.

• 1:21:46Speaker 07

  He's like.

• 1:21:46Andrew Santino?

  I'll film for you, sir.

• 1:21:48Speaker 07

  Well, it was Morgan Freeman and then Michael Caine, right?

• 1:21:50Andrew Santino?

  Michael Caine.

• 1:21:51Speaker 07

  So, Michael Caine and then Alfred Freeman was like, uh, put your cellphone in this basket and sign this piece of paperwork before he enters you.

• 1:22:00Speaker 07

  Is it, is this normal? Well, it is today.

• 1:22:02Andrew Santino?

  It is for you.

• 1:22:03Speaker 07

  It is, and, and make sure to sign up for a Visa Express card.

• 1:22:07Andrew Santino?

  He's selling MasterCard time ago.

• 1:22:09Speaker 07

  Cut! Well, I have a deal in my contract.

• 1:22:11Andrew Santino?

  It's part of my contract.

• 1:22:12Speaker 07

  But to push the, push the, on the people.

• 1:22:14Andrew Santino?

  Biggest creep of all the, of all the, uh...

• 1:22:18Speaker 07

  Me tours?

• 1:22:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, no, male superheroes.

• 1:22:20Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:21Andrew Santino?

  Not superheroes.

• 1:22:22Speaker 07

  Iron Man. He was cool.

• 1:22:24Andrew Santino?

  No, I was gonna say, I, I guess I mean like male, like, James Bond was a fucking asshole.

• 1:22:28Speaker 07

  Oof.

• 1:22:30Andrew Santino?

  He just like fucked everybody's wife and blew the world up and they were like, damn, you're so debonair, James Bond.

• 1:22:35Speaker 07

  That was that time, though.

• 1:22:36Andrew Santino?

  He was a dickhead.

• 1:22:36Speaker 07

  He was a dickhead.

• 1:22:37Andrew Santino?

  When you really look at it, you're like, this guy's a dick, dude.

• 1:22:39Speaker 07

  But we like that. We like, we like seeing-

• 1:22:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, I'm glad he's British.

• 1:22:43Speaker 07

  That's why the Kardashians are so famous. We like seeing people loaded and fucking doing cool shit.

• 1:22:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but they, that's like 19 seasons of whatever. At, at this point, what are they doing?

• 1:22:51Speaker 07

  She got, she's in a show, by the way.

• 1:22:52Andrew Santino?

  She what?

• 1:22:53Speaker 07

  Tried to start this show last night. It's her-

• 1:22:56Andrew Santino?

  Kim Kardashian?

• 1:22:57Speaker 07

  Kim Kardashian, it's, um, um, oh, Sarah Paulson and, uh, uh, what's her name? Uh- Order white actress, not Blanche.

• 1:23:07Andrew Santino?

  Naomi Watts?

• 1:23:08Speaker 07

  Naomi Watts, but give me another one.

• 1:23:09Andrew Santino?

  Macy Nash Betts?

• 1:23:11Speaker 07

  You know what I'm looking for. The name, when I say-

• 1:23:13Andrew Santino?

  Macy Nash is black.

• 1:23:14Speaker 07

  No, one of our best actresses. Glenn Close.

• 1:23:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Glenn Close is amazing.

• 1:23:18Speaker 07

  I was about to say Rob Farther.

• 1:23:19Andrew Santino?

  Literally one of my favorites. All's Fair.

• 1:23:21Speaker 07

  All's Fair is a show, it's on Hulu, and it's about, I think, divorce lawyers. And it looks-

• 1:23:26Andrew Santino?

  She failed the bar.

• 1:23:27Speaker 07

  It should be a great, it should be, I just saw a clip of her too, telling her whole family. So, all four of our psychics are full of fucking shit, because they all told me I was gonna pass the bar. So just heads up, fire all of the psychics. I was like, whoa.

• 1:23:41Andrew Santino?

  All these girls are packing up?

• 1:23:43Speaker 07

  I mean-

• 1:23:44Andrew Santino?

  They live, they live at the Kardashian house.

• 1:23:46Speaker 07

  Oh, on blast, dude. Wait, but so, Serene Branson, so, Sunday night, I'm watching the-

• 1:23:50Andrew Santino?

  How do we get away from that?

• 1:23:53Andrew Santino?

  Harrison to head to the pit.

• 1:23:54Speaker 07

  Terrence, los, los, los, los, los, los, the Heather, the Heather pit, the Suther pit, or whatever.

• 1:23:59Andrew Santino?

  Let's head to the pit.

• 1:23:59Speaker 07

  Let's head to the pit. Let's head to the pit. It was the Grammys, it was Sunday night, and I'm just like, in my, in my room, and, and, you know, smoked a bowl, and gotta get up and go put on the Wolverine closet next morning, and I'm watching Grammys in the background, and then Grammys end, and she's out front. Look, let's go down to Serene Branson with a post-Grammys report on the winners and losers. Serene? Well, this was a crazy night, so many winners, so many losers, but, at the end of the day,

• 1:24:26Speaker 07

  Johnny Pemberton, Peter Pitt.

• 1:24:27Andrew Santino?

  A very heavy-

• 1:24:28Speaker 07

  Very heavy-

• 1:24:29Andrew Santino?

  Burlitation.

• 1:24:29Speaker 07

  Burlitation, so-

• 1:24:30Andrew Santino?

  That stuck out to me.

• 1:24:31Speaker 07

  I literally go like this.

• 1:24:32Andrew Santino?

  Very heavy burlitation tonight, a very, very, let's, let's go ahead, say the patient, let's head to the pits, get to the pit.

• 1:24:40Speaker 07

  Brilliant, by the way.

• 1:24:41Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I watched it about a thousand times.

• 1:24:42Speaker 07

  I don't know if it's worth pulling up my video, but I'll just at least send it to you.

• 1:24:45Andrew Santino?

  We'll pop it up, we'll pop it up.

• 1:24:47Speaker 07

  So, so, I, eh, full Tim Taylor, turn around to the TV, go, what the fuck was, I watched it in real time. No one's watching the post-news Sunday night Grammys report.

• 1:24:57Andrew Santino?

  It's literally you.

• 1:24:58Speaker 07

  Nobody.

• 1:24:59Andrew Santino?

  No, it's you.

• 1:25:00Speaker 07

  And I turn around, I go, get the fuck out of here, and I go- And then she goes, back to you. And then they go, well, and they act like nothing's wrong. And I immediately go online. I get my fucking, I set my thing up. I go, I have to do a video. That's, I go, what's the hook on this? I go, there's gonna be news tomorrow. I just knew that. And I go, I'm gonna do a video breaking down what she said. So I do a video talking to camera and talk about long hair Adam. I go, guys, Adam right here and blah, blah, blah. And Serene Branson went on and I play the video. And then I go, everyone's freaking out thinking something like she had some sort of panic attack. Which by the way, the next day, they covered up and were like, she had a stroke. She didn't have a stroke. I'll cut to, so, so I go, I go, but what she said was actually all real words. And I break it down with like music and I go, Los Taven to Tether to Heather Pit. I go, that means like,

• 1:25:41Speaker 07

  they, they went out, they tried their best. I just broke it all down. And I put it up the next morning at like 8 a.m. And it, I have two videos that went viral in a short amount of time. My Kermit the Frog reaction to Two Girls One Cup, got about 10 million in two days. Yeah, that was amazing. And then this one. I'd say by 2 o'clock that day, it had 800,000 views on YouTube. Back then, that's fucking insane. That's like 20 million. What year was this? That Serene Branson, do you mind? Oh god, I don't know. You were still working at Universal Studios? Oh yeah. And it just popped, maybe 2010 or 2011? 2011, February. Boom, circle gets a square. So dude, fuck. So I, uh, So long ago. I'm getting some subscribers. It's being, it was back when Facebook didn't mind if you shared a YouTube link.

• 1:26:25Speaker 07

  Now they like, they hide it. But it was getting, I was getting hit up by everyone I knew being like, I've seen this. Because the news had barely covered it. It was starting to get, uh, but there was also no, there were no videos on it. There were no, any other comedian that was trying to do a topical take, hadn't done it. So mine, when you searched her name, It came up you. It was, uh, the real video and my video and maybe another video. That's nuts. And then I start, then, then they put out a report that says she had a seizure, she had a stroke. Right. I remember that. And now the comments are, you piece of shit. And I had never experienced that. And I panicked and I took it down. And you know what? And Skylar Stone goes, you fucking idiot. He goes, don't ever cower, blah, blah, blah. You shouldn't.

• 1:27:07Speaker 07

  I go, I just, until they say it's whatever, and then I put it back up and I put a disclaimer on the front being like, they said she was fine. Here's the video. I think now it's got 40,000. And let me say something. That was the first time you got hit with criticism like that, that hurt on the internet. What's the lesson? People of the world have something to say. People of the world. People of the world.

• 1:27:28Speaker 07

  We'll be right back.

• 1:27:30Speaker 05

  To here! What a way! We pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:27:35Speaker 04

  You're that creature in the ginger beard!

• 1:27:38Speaker 05

  It's sturdy, ginger.

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:27:41Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful.

• 1:27:43Speaker 06

  You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, seventy-five dollars for the horse! Gingers, oh hell no! This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.