Johnny Pemberton

Comedian/actor Johnny Pemberton (Prime Video’s Fallout, NBC’s Superstore, FOX’s Son of Zorn, Disney XD’s Pickle & Peanut) joins Santino for a fast, feral hang about building bizarre bits that still crush, riding the line between chaos and control, and why his podcast Live to Tape keeps the cult fans fed. We hit Superstore’s Bo, wasteland stories from Fallout, VO life as “Peanut,” and the secret art of committing too hard to a character. Clip it, share it, and tell us your favorite Pemberton moment. 🍊 FOLLOW JOHNNY • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnny_pemberton/ • YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@JustMyNipples FOLLOW SANTINO & THE SHOW • SANTINO IG: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ • WHISKEY GINGER IG: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #JohnnyPemberton #AndrewSantino #Fallout #PrimeVideo #Superstore #SonOfZorn #PickleAndPeanut #StandUpComedy #ComedyPodcast #PodcastClips #comedyclips ====================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS FACTOR USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY50OFF TO GET 50% OFF YOUR 1ST BOX! https://factormeals.com/whiskey50off RAG & BONE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 20% OFF YOUR ORDER https://rag-bone.com HOF BETS USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 7 DAY FREE TRIAL & 50% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH DOWNLOAD HOF APP TODAY! ====================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot designed to keep you connected. Powered by Verizon's 5G network. And no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code HACK. Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for details.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:59Andrew Santino?

  What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Hey, what are you up to out there in podcast land? You should be watching my special White Noise on Hulu and Disney+ all over the globe. Hulu here in the United States, I believe in North America, Disney+ everywhere else where you get your Disney content. Disney+ available everywhere. White Noise on Hulu. Also, I'm coming, I'm coming to see you. I'm starting a new tour. I'm going to be at the Punchline in San Francisco. I'm going to the Brea Improv, Southern California. Tempe Improv, never played it. ASU, my old home spot. Then I'm going to Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Wind Creek in Bethlehem, PA. The Horseshoe in Hammond. Then I'm in Hanover, Maryland. I do the Borgata in Atlantic City.

• 1:44Andrew Santino?

  And then Harris Valley Center, which is way down south in Southern California by San Diego. And then I'm adding Vegas soon. She's coming soon. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrew Santino.com.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  Who's that creature in the ginger beard?

• 2:02Speaker 05

  Sturdy ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 2:18Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people in the world. I say that for all my guests by the name of once again today, it is the return of Johnny Pemberton.

• 2:28Andrew Santino?

  The truck god, the truck goat.

• 2:30Speaker 06

  I didn't want to even say anything, because that little trumpet was really just...

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  You're the truck god. Oh, that's good.

• 2:40Speaker 06

  Can we harmonize? You're more of a trombone, that's a trombone. That's good, though.

• 2:46Andrew Santino?

  Alright, here's a trumpet, then.

• 2:49Speaker 06

  I'm still hearing trombone, because of the way it's sliding a bit.

• 2:52Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 2:53Speaker 06

  I think...

• 2:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, no, no. If I do taps...

• 2:59Speaker 06

  This is really good.

• 3:00Andrew Santino?

  You've never heard this before?

• 3:01Speaker 06

  No.

• 3:01Andrew Santino?

  This is my thing, dude.

• 3:03Speaker 06

  I didn't know that.

• 3:03Andrew Santino?

  I've been working on this since we met, because I know the business is gonna be over soon, so I'm like, I gotta be a mouth trumpet guy.

• 3:11Speaker 06

  Yeah, and that's a huge business these days. Oh my god, I get so many calls that I have to say no to.

• 3:17Andrew Santino?

  Because of the trumpet?

• 3:18Speaker 06

  They need a mouth trumpet guy, like, today.

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 3:20Speaker 06

  We didn't need a mouth trumpet guy yesterday, in Sheboygan, for this, uh, charity event.

• 3:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 06

  And they keep... These guys, I know guys who do five or six mouth trumpet events in a day. Especially if you go to Canada.

• 3:33Andrew Santino?

  Big money.

• 3:34Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 3:34Andrew Santino?

  Big money. Even with the exchange, it's still big money.

• 3:36Speaker 06

  It's huge money, yeah.

• 3:37Andrew Santino?

  I did it, my dad used to do it in the car, and then I would mimic him as a kid.

• 3:41Speaker 06

  I get it.

• 3:42Andrew Santino?

  He was really good, though. And he would fake-play the piano on the dashboard in traffic.

• 3:45Speaker 06

  This is what my dad would do in the car. Fuck!

• 3:50Speaker 06

  God damn it!

• 3:51Andrew Santino?

  My dad did that, too. But if it was like, a fun day, if he was in an upbeat mood for some reason, like, if we didn't get hit at breakfast, we knew he was gonna... Yeah, if we didn't get struck at breakfast, we were gonna get a mouth trumpet in the car.

• 4:01Speaker 06

  Struck, I mean, by hand?

• 4:03Andrew Santino?

  Hand.

• 4:04Speaker 06

  Spoon? The spoon's an old one, that's an old Catholic nun thing, isn't it?

• 4:09Andrew Santino?

  Hundred percent, yeah. My mom, you see, my mom told stories about getting, like, absolutely smoked by nuns, at Catholics. Like, they would hit the shit out of those girls. Because no one was there, it was all girls' school, and nobody could... Who was gonna say anything?

• 4:22Speaker 06

  Oh, uh, being...

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Because you would go to your mom and go, "The nuns hit us", and they'd go, "No, they didn't, cut it out."

• 4:26Speaker 06

  And if they did, it's like, "Oh, what did you do to deserve that?"

• 4:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Speaker 07

  What did you say to the nun?

• 4:30Speaker 06

  "Oh, you must have said something terrible. Don't even repeat it." "How dare you even bring it into the home."

• 4:36Speaker 07

  "She probably didn't hit you enough. That's why you're still mouthing off, aren't you?"

• 4:40Speaker 06

  "You might have hit you some more, is that why you're telling me?" "Did you bring that home, because you want a little bit more punishment, oh yeah?"

• 4:45Speaker 07

  "Just a little bit more punishment. Now, back to the railroad, you go."

• 4:49Speaker 06

  Irish people are loading their non-existent guns right now, I'm like...

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Fuck these guys, I hate these guys.

• 4:53Speaker 06

  Those two fucking assholes have to take them out.

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  By the way, we had the most fun in Ireland that I think I've had overseas doing a show there. The fans, like, they're the most fun and down. Dude, Irish fans are chaos, but so fun. Like, if you're like, "Let's party," they'll party. If you're like, "Hold on, guys, calm down a little bit." Because they got a little rowdy, then they did. And it was like, "Oh, that's... Oh, they listened."

• 5:18Speaker 06

  Well, they're smart, but they like to drink. It's that weird thing. It's... Chicago's that way.

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 06

  Australia's that way.

• 5:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:24Speaker 06

  But I think Australia's that way because the Irish... People in Australia, most of them are Irish, I think.

• 5:30Andrew Santino?

  Are they? No, most of them are English dissonants and they were thrown to the island.

• 5:34Speaker 06

  You know what an English dissonant is?

• 5:35Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 5:36Speaker 06

  It's an Irish person.

• 5:37Andrew Santino?

  That's actually very true. There is a good amount of Irish people down there. God, we had a lot of persecution, huh?

• 5:42Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:43Andrew Santino?

  But you're English, though. Pemberton is English.

• 5:45Speaker 06

  That's right. I'm English. You chaps are easy. Just throw a little brown liquor your way. It's quite easy to subjugate the Irishman.

• 5:53Andrew Santino?

  It really is, isn't it?

• 5:54Speaker 06

  Oh, and he just a book and a cup. A full cup of whiskey and an empty pad of paper, and he'll write himself to death.

• 6:06Andrew Santino?

  You know what's no joke? We've talked about it on this show, but I bring it up all the time just so it stays in the reference of Irish culture. In the 1400s... I'm sorry, in the 14th century.

• 6:17Speaker 06

  Right.

• 6:18Andrew Santino?

  We invented whiskey, the Irish.

• 6:20Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 6:20Andrew Santino?

  And for 300 years, we didn't invent one more thing.

• 6:25Speaker 06

  Is that true?

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  That is true. You can Google it. In the 17th century...

• 6:28Speaker 06

  Makes a lot of sense.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  17th century, we finally invented. But what did we invent in the 17th century? Irish road bowling. And? Modern chemistry. Modern chemistry was invented in Ireland in 17th century. So we took 300 years off to just kick it.

• 6:39Speaker 06

  But wouldn't you say that making whiskey is modern chemistry? In a way?

• 6:44Andrew Santino?

  Uh, well, it's kind of... It's fool's chemistry. It's really easy. I mean... Fermentation has been around for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.

• 6:51Speaker 06

  It's actually been around for billions of years.

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  Billions, yeah, billions, but a consumption of fermentation.

• 6:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  Imagine the first guy that consumes something that fermented and everybody was like, ew, weirdo. And he was like, I feel fucking rad.

• 7:03Speaker 06

  I think there's, there's proof that like a lot of animals will eat fermented fruit, like a donkey will eat a pile of rotten apples.

• 7:10Andrew Santino?

  To get wasted?

• 7:11Speaker 06

  And they get, they get fucking wasted.

• 7:12Andrew Santino?

  That's awesome.

• 7:13Speaker 06

  There's all kinds of evidence that animals will consume fermented vegetables or fruits.

• 7:18Andrew Santino?

  What was the one I saw, you know, um, the mushroom, uh, you know, the Mascaria with the red top?

• 7:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, Emennina Mascaria?

• 7:24Andrew Santino?

  Em Mascaria. There was, there was an animal that specifically searched it out.

• 7:28Speaker 06

  The deer?

• 7:28Andrew Santino?

  No, well, there were breeds of deer that did, but then it, some of them got so sick that they stopped doing it, but God, I can't remember where I read this, that there was a breed of animal that like hunted it out and it almost rendered it extinct because it wasn't reproducing.

• 7:41Speaker 06

  Oh, because it was just tripping balls?

• 7:43Andrew Santino?

  So tripping balls every day.

• 7:44Speaker 06

  It was such a great time. Who needs to do anything else?

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  I can't have sex, babe. I gotta rock with my boys today again.

• 7:49Speaker 06

  Dude, I'm fucking floating, dude.

• 7:51Andrew Santino?

  Fucking floating, dude. You get high with them every day. Can't you just come bone me once?

• 7:56Speaker 06

  They don't even exist. They exist as long as I keep eating that shroom and they're here, dog.

• 8:02Andrew Santino?

  Do you like shrooms?

• 8:04Speaker 06

  I used to like them a lot.

• 8:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 06

  Uh, like I used to be really obsessed with them, but I also was, um, I had them really early in life.

• 8:11Andrew Santino?

  Like, like 14, 15, high school?

• 8:12Speaker 06

  Like 16, yeah.

• 8:13Andrew Santino?

  That was me too. That was the first time I ever tested water.

• 8:16Speaker 06

  Which I think is a really good thing.

• 8:17Andrew Santino?

  I'm glad I did drugs, um, this is terrible. I'm glad I did drugs young.

• 8:21Speaker 06

  It's not a drug. I don't think it's a drug.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm glad I experimented with psychedelics young because now I do them very intermittently, but I like, I like it more now because I don't, like I have friends that are like, dude, let's trip balls and they want to just go nuts. I'm like, if you take little chunks, it's way more fun. Cause little chunks, you can function.

• 8:39Speaker 06

  Right, I mean, it goes both ways. I don't know. I think there's a lot of people who I see now doing it and they drink with it.

• 8:44Andrew Santino?

  That's insane. I don't wanna do that.

• 8:45Speaker 06

  I don't get that. I, for me, if I do that, I will have just, the next day is nothing.

• 8:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm dead for the next day.

• 8:52Speaker 06

  Dead.

• 8:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 06

  I don't, other people don't have that problem, but if I, even just a little bit of mushrooms with, you know, a couple beers or something like that.

• 8:59Andrew Santino?

  No, thanks.

• 9:00Speaker 06

  Fucking wrecked.

• 9:01Andrew Santino?

  No, I'd rather be on a real, like, I turn into like a health kick when I'm, when I'm gonna have a nice trip.

• 9:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:06Andrew Santino?

  I wanna like eat a good, healthy breakfast, have a relax, I just wanna set my body up to.

• 9:10Speaker 06

  That's what you're supposed to do. That's how you're supposed to do it, cuz it's not like a, it's not like other things.

• 9:14Andrew Santino?

  It's not a party drug.

• 9:15Speaker 06

  No, but.

• 9:16Andrew Santino?

  It's not a party.

• 9:17Speaker 06

  I mean, so many people party with it, they're like crazy.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't like that. Acid, you do acid when you were young?

• 9:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, I did that more recently. I actually had, I told a story on podcast before, but one time accidentally overdosed on LSD, liquid LSD.

• 9:30Andrew Santino?

  You had a little brain break?

• 9:31Speaker 06

  Um, kind of, yeah. It was like a, I mean, it's a long story, but basically, uh, it was like a Wednesday.

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  Give me the Cliffs Notes.

• 9:38Speaker 06

  Cliff Notes is at eleven AM. A, a friend of mine, who we both know, uh, gave me a gift of liquid LSD for my birthday, uh, for Christmas. And it was a little tiny little vial of liquid, and I was trying to, he's like, be careful with it, it's very condensed. And I was careful, but not careful enough cuz I'm not a, uh, modern chemist.

• 9:55Andrew Santino?

  You're not, well, you're English, not Irish. That's your problem.

• 9:58Speaker 06

  And I, um.

• 9:59Andrew Santino?

  I could have helped you out, lad.

• 10:01Speaker 06

  You could have helped me out.

• 10:01Andrew Santino?

  That's too much, Johnny!

• 10:03Speaker 06

  Oh, no, it's too late.

• 10:06Speaker 06

  You know what a pipette is? Those little, those long glass jars. I bought a pipette, but I bought one that was like not small enough. And I, I realized this after I'm taking it out of there, I'm like, you know what? This is not gonna work. I shot all the liquid back in the vial. Then I just rinsed out the pipette with water and drank that. I went on a hike, thinking like, oh, I just wanted to microdose that day.

• 10:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 06

  I'm thinking like, nothing's gonna happen at all, cuz I injected all the liquid. I'm, it was kinda starting to rain a little bit. I'm one of the only people there on this hike. It's like in Studio City, back when I lived there. And I just start tripping slowly. It starts escalating in a way where I can barely get out my phone to cancel my, my plans that day. To be like, I, I can't make it to dinner. I took too much acid. People thought I was fucking with them. I had to cancel a podcast that afternoon. Had all these plans, but the next thing you know, it was just. I was, I had to walk home, I certainly couldn't drive, it was raining.

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  God bless you for walking, that's smart.

• 11:06Speaker 06

  I kept seeing mailmen, it seemed like they were all looking at me, all like, walking like. Oh god, the mailman.

• 11:12Andrew Santino?

  Send in the mailman, send in the mailman, send in another one, send in another one, send in another one. Just to fuck with them, keep doing it.

• 11:17Speaker 06

  Cause when it's raining out, the only people out are mailmen.

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  That's actually very smart, in LA for sure, yeah. In other parts of the real world, people are just operating.

• 11:24Speaker 06

  But they're not walking around the street, I also wasn't walking on the sidewalks. And I was just so, I mean, I got, I made it home, I walked like maybe an hour home.

• 11:32Andrew Santino?

  Was it a semi enjoyable walk? Did you have moments of clarity, like, this is nice?

• 11:36Speaker 06

  It was, but when I got home, I was on all fours, vomiting into the carpet repeatedly.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh no.

• 11:41Speaker 06

  I was just, absolutely, I must have taken three hits of acid at least, maybe three or four hits.

• 11:47Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 11:47Speaker 06

  Cause I, I had a ego, full ego death.

• 11:50Andrew Santino?

  But ego death is good for you a little bit.

• 11:52Speaker 06

  It is good.

• 11:52Andrew Santino?

  But you're not an egomaniacal guy, so you didn't really need to get any more level.

• 11:56Speaker 06

  But I mean, uh.

• 11:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, bad boy.

• 11:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, the, the best of us hide it the best of the ways, but.

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  I've known you now for, I wanna say, um, like fifteen years or so.

• 12:05Speaker 06

  At least fifteen years.

• 12:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, fifteen, eighteen years. You've always been, I'm gonna give you a compliment only because we're moving away from the acid talk, cause you've always been one of the funniest. And you're still a, you're the same chill dude that you were when we first met. You didn't get in, there's friends that we have that maybe pieces of it went to their brain a little bit.

• 12:22Speaker 06

  For sure.

• 12:23Andrew Santino?

  Uh, like, I'll give you actually a story, and he, he probably wouldn't mind me saying this, but. Um, Adam Devine, we knew for years and years and years, you know, when he was a door guy at the improv.

• 12:32Speaker 06

  I don't know him as well as you do.

• 12:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but, but he was always around, but then when they got Workaholics, they exploded.

• 12:36Speaker 06

  They did.

• 12:37Andrew Santino?

  And like, our friendship waned a little bit, and that's fine, cause that happens, when you kinda get busy, and then he said, um. One time he said to me, he was like, dude, I kinda went, I, I went away for a little while, he's like, I'm sorry about if I was like a little. I was like, that's really rad that you recognized, cause I think they got famous fast.

• 12:53Speaker 06

  They did, also young, young too.

• 12:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they were like, in their young twenties, and they exploded. And I think Adam kinda knew, he, he rocket shipped a little bit. And you know, and not, he wasn't ever a dick, but he would just disappeared, you know? But then now I think, everyone goes through that in the business where you book something huge, and then you're like, I'm busy, I'm busy. And then you come down to earth a little bit, and you're like, sorry if I wasn't around. It's like a dad going to get cigarettes, you're like, I'll be back.

• 13:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  He's not coming back.

• 13:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, I have my perspective on it, it's weird, cause I feel like it's like a thing where. I maybe feel like I have been, uh, left a little bit sometimes, but also maybe not, but also. I don't know.

• 13:30Andrew Santino?

  You felt like the same guy to me. I don't think you've ever been a guy where I'm like, yeah Johnny kinda disappeared.

• 13:37Speaker 06

  What would I have to do? What would I think? Like, what does it mean disappear?

• 13:40Andrew Santino?

  I think you see like personality changes in people, like, or their, or their, their, their compass just changes. They don't seem like the same, like, this is not a shot. But again, like, well, when, when Gerard, when Carmichael blew up, because we all knew him, you know, but when he exploded, he, he kinda did dynamically change.

• 14:00Speaker 06

  He did, but he also was dealing with a very significant personal matter.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 14:03Speaker 06

  That I think, some of us kind of knew.

• 14:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we did. We knew, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 06

  If you didn't know, no, you're like, seems like, and when you did find out, you're like, oh, this makes sense.

• 14:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it made sense. He was going through his own thing. That's why, that's why he publicly talked about it, cause I, but I remember when he blew up, I thought, God, he got famous so fast, so young, and then, he kinda had to like isolate himself a little bit and become more unavailable.

• 14:25Speaker 06

  I think you do have to, because what happens is all kinds of people who ever just knew you a little bit, they come after you, and there's people who, in the moment, you can't, uh, you don't have the time or wherewithal to differentiate who is talking to you and coming to you because of genuine friendship and something like that, and who is like, oh, I gotta, I gotta fucking grab on to this comic and get a little something off of it. There's so many people just like, grab on people.

• 14:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and then, and then when you see the people that are grabbing on to the comic trail, it's very weird. You're like, what are you doing?

• 14:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, oh God. I spent a night with someone, it's like, it wasn't for me, it was from my friend who directed this movie I did. It's just like, oh my God, you're fucking, like, are you really? You don't even know him anymore, but you're hanging out here acting like, like, so you know, you know, this is your friend? And he's like, not really, like from seven years ago. I'm like, oh, that's weird.

• 15:20Andrew Santino?

  But now he's your best buddy. Now he's like, let's do everything together all the time.

• 15:24Speaker 06

  Like that, and I think it's hard, I don't know.

• 15:26Andrew Santino?

  It is hard.

• 15:27Speaker 06

  It's such a perspective thing and I don't even understand any of it at all to some extent and I feel like you either live with it and then you get old and you you forget to even think about it.

• 15:38Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:39Speaker 06

  Or you become a different person.

• 15:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but the only reason it's good if you can become a different person is if you had to deal with your demons.

• 15:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 15:46Andrew Santino?

  And shape shift back into a normal, well-functioning adult. But look at you, you're well-functioning.

• 15:52Speaker 06

  I'm pretty well-functioning. Also, my bowels are all fucked up. I think that's what.

• 15:55Andrew Santino?

  You can't poop right?

• 15:56Speaker 06

  I think it grounds me, honestly. I hate that it does, but I think it does.

• 15:59Andrew Santino?

  What's going on? You like a once every other day or something?

• 16:02Speaker 06

  Oh, no, I have like severe bowel problems. I've had like, I don't have a large intestine.

• 16:06Andrew Santino?

  I know, yeah, we talked about that, yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 06

  Right, yeah. So I have to, you know, I deal with that stuff.

• 16:09Andrew Santino?

  But you're not back to normal at all?

• 16:11Speaker 06

  I mean, I'm back to normal for me, but it's also I'll never be like normal, normal. It's like a thing where it's just, um, you know, like yesterday, watched football all day, ate a bunch of normal football food and I felt like absolute shit all night. Like, I felt like hell. Like, I never want to eat food ever again. I just.

• 16:32Andrew Santino?

  Do you put your wife through that with you? Do you tell her or she doesn't even listen?

• 16:34Speaker 06

  She wasn't with me, thank God. Well, actually, she does have to go through it because I'm having fun watching football and I come home and it's like, ugh, I never want to eat sugar or anything, you know? Had like three or four Pacificos, but I feel like I had just drank like a gallon of crap. I feel like shit and I'm just pissing, I'm pissing shit, I'm shitting piss, you know what I mean?

• 16:58Speaker 06

  I feel, I had to go on a long walk just to to burn off all the fucking, my friends eat a bunch of candy and stuff.

• 17:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you can't do that.

• 17:05Speaker 06

  No!

• 17:06Andrew Santino?

  No, you can't. Well, I, well, it's also like your age, man. We're older.

• 17:09Speaker 06

  Everything about it. The age thing.

• 17:11Andrew Santino?

  I walk after meals now. We walk. My wife and I will take a walk. Isn't that weird? I have to because I feel.

• 17:16Speaker 06

  Oh, my God.

• 17:16Andrew Santino?

  I feel like I'm clogged and I'll go, well, we need to take a walk just so my body can shake itself out.

• 17:21Speaker 06

  Because you gotta, um, it's good for your insulin resistance or something like that.

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  Is that right?

• 17:25Speaker 06

  No, for real. You're supposed to walk after you eat because it's helps your, something with digestion, insulin, it's very, it's like. Hand in hand.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  I do it to just avoid feeling shitty.

• 17:37Speaker 06

  That's but you're feeling shitty because of that.

• 17:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because of that spike.

• 17:39Speaker 06

  It's the insulin spike, yeah.

• 17:41Andrew Santino?

  Do you do the thing with your wife where like we she cooked sausage and peppers last night, it was so good.

• 17:44Speaker 06

  She cooked sausage and peppers?

• 17:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, your wife cooked it for me, which was very strange. She came over and cooked for us.

• 17:48Speaker 06

  She's not good at that.

• 17:50Andrew Santino?

  Do you she's not cook for Johnny? She's like not with a large without the large intestine, I can't, he can't eat peppers. But she cooked for us and then she ate only half of what she was supposed to eat. And then I was like, do you want me to eat that half? And she was like, no, if you want. But I know she did to avoid her eating it. So then I double ate. But it was like, I didn't need to do that.

• 18:08Speaker 06

  That's actually a primitive male brain thing, you know that?

• 18:11Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 18:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, there's like some thing in the male psychology. I mean, this could also be totally not true, but.

• 18:16Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm gonna buy it anyway.

• 18:17Speaker 06

  But evidently, it's like, you know how when your families have to eat, dad's always like fucking, he cleans everything up? It's like that thing where if it's there, your brain's like, you have to eat that because you just gotta, you might not be able to eat later. So you just gotta get those calories.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  The monkey brain is like.

• 18:34Speaker 06

  It's a monkey brain thing.

• 18:35Andrew Santino?

  Consume and clean.

• 18:36Speaker 06

  Clean it up because let's say a week from now, there's only enough food for the kids, you have to let them eat. And so you gotta have those calories now.

• 18:43Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 18:44Speaker 06

  Cause it's yeah, it's definitely like some some primitive shit. If you can shut it off, I mean, oh man, I'm fucking terrible at that.

• 18:50Andrew Santino?

  I can't shut it off. I'll eat. I'll eat so much. And then a lot of times we go out to eat and I'll go, we'll get, I'll get one thing, she'll get another so that we can share.

• 18:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:58Andrew Santino?

  I inevitably just ate two meals is really what happened.

• 19:00Speaker 06

  I do it all the time. I especially, I have a problem with food that's really good. I can't get, can't go there. Why? It's too good.

• 19:07Andrew Santino?

  It's way too good.

• 19:08Speaker 06

  I will eat everything. I'll get like a, let's get, let's get three entrees.

• 19:12Andrew Santino?

  Just in case, just in case.

• 19:14Speaker 06

  And it's me. I'm not like a big guy.

• 19:16Andrew Santino?

  But it is kind of a funny idea that then we should start eating at mediocre restaurants. Cause then you're not, you're not gonna overeat. You're like, it's fine, it's fine.

• 19:25Speaker 06

  That I think the the uh, the the ancient thing was just you had so much fiber that was okay.

• 19:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we need more fiber. Well, you need less.

• 19:34Speaker 06

  I need no, I need more.

• 19:35Andrew Santino?

  You need, you need more than the average person. Really?

• 19:37Speaker 06

  I think it's, I don't know, man.

• 19:39Andrew Santino?

  I think that's why you drive such a big truck is because.

• 19:41Speaker 06

  That truck is not that big.

• 19:43Andrew Santino?

  That's a big fucking truck.

• 19:44Speaker 06

  It is a midsize truck.

• 19:46Andrew Santino?

  Okay, dude.

• 19:47Speaker 06

  It really is. It's not.

• 19:48Andrew Santino?

  For Los Angeles, that's a big truck.

• 19:49Speaker 06

  It is. I wanna get rid of it.

• 19:51Andrew Santino?

  It's an F seven fifty. It's the biggest one I think.

• 19:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's an F steady super duty. I got myself a fucking dooley, had to get it.

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  I do love, whenever I see you in that truck, I think, cause you're not a big guy and that's, and you love big trucks. I love that about you.

• 20:07Speaker 06

  I don't love big trucks.

• 20:09Andrew Santino?

  Car that you're, that we would think you would drive.

• 20:11Speaker 06

  What do you think I would drive?

• 20:12Andrew Santino?

  A Yaris.

• 20:13Speaker 06

  A Yaris?

• 20:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 06

  That is like the-

• 20:16Andrew Santino?

  I know, I know, don't, don't take that-

• 20:17Speaker 06

  I would not drive a Yaris.

• 20:19Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm kidding. A Mini Cooper, I'm kidding.

• 20:21Speaker 06

  A Mini Cooper-

• 20:21Andrew Santino?

  A Fiat, I'm kidding!

• 20:22Speaker 06

  A Fiat, well I could see a s- no, no.

• 20:24Andrew Santino?

  No dude, you're a big truck guy. But see, I never liked big trucks. Whenever I drove friends' big trucks, I was like, this is so much.

• 20:30Speaker 06

  If you drove that truck, you would, first off, technically, it's not even a truck.

• 20:34Andrew Santino?

  How is that not a truck? Is there a bed?

• 20:36Speaker 06

  There's a bed, but it's not a, it's not four-wheel drive. It's all-wheel drive.

• 20:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 06

  It's also unibody, it's not boxom. It's just all dumb truck bullshit, but the real truck guys would be like, that's not a truck, that's not a truck.

• 20:49Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you get criticized at the truck meetup?

• 20:50Speaker 06

  The truck meetup, they call it a grocery getter.

• 20:53Andrew Santino?

  Is that really what it's called?

• 20:54Speaker 06

  Grocery getter, yeah.

• 20:55Andrew Santino?

  Did they also have the-

• 20:56Speaker 06

  Pavement princess, isn't that right?

• 20:57Andrew Santino?

  What's the, where all the wheels turn at the same time?

• 20:59Speaker 06

  That's the new Hummer thing.

• 21:01Andrew Santino?

  Does it have, does yours have that?

• 21:02Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 21:02Andrew Santino?

  That's insane to watch.

• 21:03Speaker 06

  It's a normal car. It's like a normal, good car. It's not a piece of shit.

• 21:07Andrew Santino?

  It's not a piece of shit.

• 21:08Speaker 06

  It's not a piece of trash, it's not a piece of crap.

• 21:10Andrew Santino?

  Trucks give me anxiety because I feel like, uh, I'm a good parker, but I'm, I see that and I go, all right, there's nowhere to put this.

• 21:17Speaker 06

  I agree, I'm getting ready for it soon.

• 21:19Andrew Santino?

  What are you gonna get? Don't say a Yaris.

• 21:21Speaker 06

  I don't know. I have, I wanna get two cars. I wanna have a car, it's like a early eighties, American, like a, a four-door. I kinda wanna get a, uh, eighty-two Malibu.

• 21:32Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 21:33Speaker 06

  And have it look like shit on the outside, like, like trash.

• 21:36Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:36Speaker 06

  Have a great interior, nice new motor, have that to drive.

• 21:40Andrew Santino?

  That's your daily?

• 21:41Speaker 06

  That's my daily, sort of.

• 21:42Andrew Santino?

  What's your, what's the secondary car?

• 21:44Speaker 06

  Secondary would be the daily. It would be like a, like an electric car, something electric.

• 21:48Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 21:48Speaker 06

  Just to drive to work and stuff.

• 21:50Andrew Santino?

  Just to putz around.

• 21:51Speaker 06

  Putz around, just like, easy to park, small car.

• 21:54Andrew Santino?

  Compact.

• 21:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I wanna have a fucking ship. I love having a shitbox car. Something about having a car that is, um- That looks like shit on the outside, it's older, there's like a different type of respect there.

• 22:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 06

  You get people respect it for just the aesthetics of it, but also you don't have to deal with any type of like um like comparison at all, cuz you're not even in the running. You have this thing that is just, uh but it's it's almost like an art piece. You have this thing, it's like a, it's like a, driving a prop. I love the idea of having a car where your personality is informed by the car you drive and if it is, if it it's like you're driving in a movie or something like that. I wanted to have that so bad.

• 22:35Andrew Santino?

  Seeing guys who have like, like if you see like a really famous rich director or producer, someone that's been around for a long time, and they have like a really big piece of shit car, I always kinda get off on that.

• 22:46Speaker 06

  That is like such a big, I remember years ago when I worked at this record store, my friend Chris was like, nothing hotter than a hot girl in a piece of shit car. I always think about that, like, this is kinda hot.

• 22:56Andrew Santino?

  It is.

• 22:56Speaker 06

  Seem like a really attractive woman in a beater.

• 22:59Andrew Santino?

  Because it's so obvious in LA, every like hot mom has like a Mercedes or, yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

• 23:04Speaker 06

  They're always so clean too.

• 23:05Andrew Santino?

  They're sparkling.

• 23:06Speaker 06

  I want a car that I don't have to ever wash.

• 23:09Andrew Santino?

  Never wa- you've never, that truck is filthy.

• 23:10Speaker 06

  I just came back from the mountains though.

• 23:12Andrew Santino?

  Where'd you come back from?

• 23:13Speaker 06

  From uh Lake Mono area.

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  Lake Mona?

• 23:16Speaker 06

  Lake, Lake Mono, like Yosemite.

• 23:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh Yosemite, oh beautiful.

• 23:19Speaker 06

  Kind of up near Bridgeport, we actually had a bear uh attack the truck.

• 23:23Andrew Santino?

  No, seriously?

• 23:23Speaker 06

  We were hiking, it's, it ripped the cooler out of the back of the bed on this day hike we did. I don't know how it got out of there, cuz in there, it's like a big ass fucking, you know, heavy duty modern cooler underneath a cargo net and right when we get down from this hike, it was like, we're up there for like five or six hours on this day hike. And um I see a mama bear and a cub in the bed of my truck, like what the fuck?

• 23:46Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 23:47Speaker 06

  As soon as they saw me, they ran away, but somehow they got the, they ripped the cargo net, knocked this heavy, heavy cooler out of, I mean, there are bears, but they knocked it out of the

• 23:55Andrew Santino?

  Granted, they're bears.

• 23:56Speaker 06

  But they knocked it out of the truck and somehow that popped it open and broke the latch, one of the latches and they ate, they ate a whole huge bag of weed gummies. In addition to a pack of bacon and yogurt and like all this stuff, but they uh, man, that was so funny. There's actually a bear paw print on the side of the truck. I don't want to wash off.

• 24:15Andrew Santino?

  Don't wash that. You should somehow keep that preserved.

• 24:17Speaker 06

  Paint it on there.

• 24:18Andrew Santino?

  That's like the, that's the sequel to Cocaine Bear. It's Weed Bear.

• 24:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, Weed Bear. And it's just like the bear's like, hey, you guys want to um, you guys want to cook this? I found a bunch of food, but I felt bad, man. Um, can we cook it? I usually eat bacon raw, but I just figured maybe.

• 24:33Andrew Santino?

  Maybe crispy today?

• 24:34Speaker 06

  I can stand over here if I'm making you uncomfortable, but I would love to pull up a chair next to that fire. I'm kind of cold. I gotta be honest, dog.

• 24:43Andrew Santino?

  I gotta be real with you, bro.

• 24:44Speaker 06

  I'm real with you, bro.

• 24:45Andrew Santino?

  I'm so sorry about fucking up your truck. My kid got in there and I was like, chill out, dude.

• 24:48Speaker 06

  And I didn't, I didn't want to, but I got this, this radio tag, so if I'm in it, if I gotta just do it.

• 24:53Andrew Santino?

  I gotta do it.

• 24:54Speaker 06

  Cause the dog, the bear did have a tag.

• 24:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it did.

• 24:56Speaker 06

  So it means it's probably a problem bear.

• 24:58Andrew Santino?

  Is it a black bear? Black bear.

• 25:00Speaker 06

  Only black bears in California.

• 25:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cause they say black, fight back. Brown, get down. And white, good night. Do you know this rule?

• 25:08Speaker 06

  No, but it makes sense.

• 25:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what a black, black, fight back. Always scare. Ah, big loud, ah. Brown, get down because they will uh, come at you and if you ball up, they get sick of trying to fuck with you.

• 25:20Speaker 06

  I'll unball you.

• 25:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they just don't want to do it. They don't want to deal with it.

• 25:23Speaker 06

  Right.

• 25:23Andrew Santino?

  And then.

• 25:24Speaker 06

  That's a grizzly.

• 25:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, grizzly.

• 25:25Speaker 06

  A brown bear, yeah.

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  Or any, they say any kind of brown bear.

• 25:28Speaker 06

  That's not true, cause all.

• 25:29Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 25:30Speaker 06

  Most black bears in California are brown.

• 25:32Andrew Santino?

  Are they really?

• 25:33Speaker 06

  They're brown in color, but they are a black bear.

• 25:35Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 25:35Speaker 06

  So any, there hasn't been a, hasn't been a brown bear in California since like nineteen oh six.

• 25:40Andrew Santino?

  What did we do to them?

• 25:41Speaker 06

  Um, we kind of killed them all.

• 25:43Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 25:44Speaker 06

  And we destroyed their habitat, so they retreated north.

• 25:46Andrew Santino?

  So they went way up, Canada?

• 25:47Speaker 06

  Uh, Canada. The only place you can see uh, brown bears in the United States, I think is parts of Idaho, Montana, a little bit of Washington, and maybe somewhere in like. North Dakota, like a little, their habitat.

• 26:02Andrew Santino?

  Little pockets, yeah, we fucked them over.

• 26:03Speaker 06

  Little pockets, yeah.

• 26:04Andrew Santino?

  Right, and then white, good night.

• 26:05Speaker 06

  Wyoming, a little bit Wyoming too.

• 26:06Andrew Santino?

  In white, they say you're dead. You literally can't avoid it. They will kill you.

• 26:08Speaker 06

  Cause you froze. You already froze.

• 26:10Andrew Santino?

  You froze and they killed you, and I guess the whites are the most aggressive. They cannot.

• 26:13Speaker 06

  The polar bears?

• 26:14Andrew Santino?

  Uh, people. Talking about white people now.

• 26:16Speaker 06

  Oh, right, okay.

• 26:17Andrew Santino?

  No, white po- yeah. They say polar bears are the mo- they're by far the most aggressive.

• 26:21Speaker 06

  Cause they just don't know?

• 26:22Andrew Santino?

  I just think everything is a threat to their habitat and if their instincts are still high that they're, you're not supposed to be there and they're going to get you.

• 26:28Speaker 06

  They're still big.

• 26:29Andrew Santino?

  They see you as food. They see humans as food and actively hunt them. They're the only bears that do that.

• 26:34Speaker 06

  But they do that because, um, we taught them that or something?

• 26:39Andrew Santino?

  No, I think that's an instinct- that's gotta be an instinctual thing too.

• 26:42Speaker 06

  But, cause they're, that's Antarctica, right? No, it's Ar- ah, whatever.

• 26:46Andrew Santino?

  But polar bears gotta be up north. Where are they located?

• 26:48Speaker 06

  They're not in Antarctica. They're not in Antarctica.

• 26:50Andrew Santino?

  Alaska, they've gotta have polar bears?

• 26:51Speaker 06

  I think so, yeah.

• 26:52Andrew Santino?

  Northern Alaska?

• 26:53Speaker 06

  They're only in the Arctic, not in Antarctic. Antarctic, there's no polar bears.

• 26:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, just the Arctic Ocean. Parts of Canada, Alaska, Russia, Greenland, Norway.

• 27:00Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 27:01Andrew Santino?

  Greenland. I've never been, I wanna go to Greenland once. I went to Iceland.

• 27:04Speaker 06

  I wanna go there too.

• 27:04Andrew Santino?

  I went to Iceland once.

• 27:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:06Andrew Santino?

  Iceland was cool.

• 27:06Speaker 06

  Iceland's like a place people go, though.

• 27:08Andrew Santino?

  It's cool. It was alright. It wasn't-

• 27:10Speaker 06

  Nobody goes to Greenland, man.

• 27:11Andrew Santino?

  I know, they did. That's why I kinda wanna go.

• 27:13Speaker 06

  Me too.

• 27:13Andrew Santino?

  You go to the places where people go, "We don't really go there." You're like, "Well then, why don't we check it out?"

• 27:17Speaker 06

  I wanna go in the summer there sometime.

• 27:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's what they say.

• 27:19Speaker 06

  It'd be so much fun to go, cause no one's, like you say, if you went there, they'd be like, "You came here?"

• 27:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what?

• 27:25Speaker 06

  Yes! Okay, so, this is the pizza we got? If you don't like it, that's fine.

• 27:31Andrew Santino?

  That's fine, cause it's all we got.

• 27:32Speaker 06

  It's all we got.

• 27:33Andrew Santino?

  I wanted-

• 27:33Speaker 06

  Okay, so we're gonna go on a forty-five hour hike now? Um, are they gonna wear those? I probably wouldn't wear those.

• 27:40Andrew Santino?

  Just come up in Adidas? You're like, "Is this not, this isn't good for a hike? For a four-day hike?"

• 27:43Speaker 06

  What size are you? We're gonna hook you up.

• 27:45Andrew Santino?

  They're really sweet to you.

• 27:46Speaker 06

  You know the guys who are like, they have everything for you?

• 27:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 06

  Like, "Okay, what are you, uh, what size are you? No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We got you. We got you. We're gonna hook you up here. We got it."

• 27:54Andrew Santino?

  And we'll fashion one. If not, she'll make one. She's making one right now.

• 27:57Speaker 06

  Okay, she's gonna hook up. Don't, she loves it.

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  She loves it? Leave her alone. She loves it.

• 28:00Speaker 06

  She doesn't speak. It's what she, it's how she speaks.

• 28:04Speaker 06

  It's how she speaks.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 28:08Andrew Santino?

  Fall is here and it always feels like a reset is needed between back to school, busier routines, shorter days. Okay, finding time to cook can be tough. I hate cooking, I'm not good at it. I'll admit that, I burn most things. That's why you need chef-prepped, dietitian-approved meals. Thank you to Factor. Factor has more variety, more meals. You can choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options. Premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp, and no extra cost as well, which is great because they usually are more costly. Costy, costly, but they're costly. Enjoy even more GLP-1-friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options, packed with protein and good-for-you fats. Okay, 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference no matter your routine. They helped me very much. I do love Factor. It comes deliciously ready for me to just pop in the micro and eat, and get on with my day or my busy schedule.

• 28:52Andrew Santino?

  And you need to try it out because Factor is giving away an amazing deal right now. Eat smart at factormeals.com/whiskey50off and use the code WHISKY50OFF to get 50% off your first box. That's 50% off, 5-0, your first box, plus free breakfast for a year. Wow. That's code WHISKY50OFF at factormeals.com for 50% off your first box. 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. Get delicious, ready-to-eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase.

• 29:29Andrew Santino?

  I became obsessed with that show Alone for a long time. I watched like everything. Oh, you never saw Alone?

• 29:36Speaker 06

  I've watched a couple of episodes. I should watch it.

• 29:37Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I loved Alone. The ability some of these people have in the outdoor world, like you'll go to the mountains and do... I've visited, I've done the thing. I can't... Brooks does it, Carl Hess, they live.

• 29:49Speaker 06

  They do it, but I mean, I love those guys. But I mean, I'm going deep, man. It's not because of me, it's because my friend Patrick is a psychopath. He works in the mountains. Literally, his job is hiking. Sometimes ten fifteen miles a day. He goes out there so.

• 30:06Andrew Santino?

  What is he doing for a job up there?

• 30:07Speaker 06

  He's counting these endangered toad populations in the high elevation lakes.

• 30:11Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 30:12Speaker 06

  That's what he does.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Is this government funded project?

• 30:14Speaker 06

  Well, it was government funded.

• 30:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 06

  This is the.

• 30:17Andrew Santino?

  See you later.

• 30:19Speaker 06

  This is our last year of that.

• 30:20Andrew Santino?

  Wait, seriously? So he's done?

• 30:21Speaker 06

  I think he's probably gonna be done after this, after this session, yeah.

• 30:24Andrew Santino?

  That fucking sucks.

• 30:25Speaker 06

  I know. It's terrible. It's a.

• 30:27Andrew Santino?

  And he lives up there in a cabin?

• 30:29Speaker 06

  He lives up there half the year, or actually maybe a third of the year.

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 30:32Speaker 06

  So he's up there and a lot of times we'll be doing stuff where we're all like, ah, Patrick, can we please not go so fast? Or do we have to go stay up there, just up and back? Can we stay at night someplace? Like, he's so aggressive. Like, we did this mountain. It was eleven thousand two hundred feet and, um.

• 30:54Andrew Santino?

  It's a pretty good hike.

• 30:55Speaker 06

  Pretty good hike.

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's really high.

• 30:56Speaker 06

  It was pretty big, but we started, ah, we started, I'm trying to think where we started. It was just was, you know, we're off the trail and we're just marching up this fucking, huh, it's hard. It's not fun sometimes.

• 31:10Andrew Santino?

  Cause eleven thousand gets up there like I, um, when we used to go up to Breckenridge to go ski, we used to sleep at eleven five, like almost twelve.

• 31:18Speaker 06

  That's high, man.

• 31:18Andrew Santino?

  Well, the first day you sleep, um, I have terrible nightmares.

• 31:22Speaker 06

  No one can sleep at altitude. It's really hard to sleep.

• 31:24Andrew Santino?

  It's so hard.

• 31:24Speaker 06

  No one can. It's a, it's a symptom.

• 31:26Andrew Santino?

  They're like, you're good, man. What's wrong? You're like, well, dude, I'm, I operate at sea level.

• 31:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 31:30Andrew Santino?

  And then when you go skiing past the timber line, then when you do any sort of like, um, traversing, you're like, can we sit out for like fifteen, just fifteen minutes?

• 31:39Speaker 06

  You have no oxygen.

• 31:40Andrew Santino?

  It's the worst.

• 31:41Speaker 06

  Above, eleven's above the timber line, way above. It should be.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  I think timber is right there. I think that's where it stops.

• 31:46Speaker 06

  Kinda depends.

• 31:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I guess that's true.

• 31:48Speaker 06

  Kinda depends, actually.

• 31:49Andrew Santino?

  Where does in Colorado, what's the timber line in Colorado?

• 31:51Speaker 06

  Just depends on what trees you're talking about.

• 31:54Speaker 06

  Cause California is higher elevation than the Colorado.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  We, our mountains are, yeah, but no skiing mountains up there.

• 31:59Speaker 06

  There's some skiing mountains, right?

• 32:01Andrew Santino?

  Where?

• 32:02Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 32:03Andrew Santino?

  Like Tahoe and stuff like that?

• 32:04Speaker 06

  I don't know, um.

• 32:06Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever, do you ski at all or no?

• 32:07Speaker 06

  I used to ski a lot as a kid. I used to love it. I was obsessed. Because you have to go there now. You have to drive like what, two hours, three hours?

• 32:14Andrew Santino?

  It's a deal. It's a big deal.

• 32:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, you can spend like what, ah, five hundred hours for a lift ticket. You might not even use it.

• 32:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 06

  I don't know. I would like to go skiing again.

• 32:22Andrew Santino?

  Cause everything is now a part of the uh, uh, Epic, Epic, Epic owns everything, like Epic Mountains.

• 32:27Speaker 06

  Really?

• 32:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Epic owns a ton of the mountains now. So you get the Epic Pass and you're allowed to go to like multiple mountains if you get like the big Epic Pass. For years and years and years. The last couple of years I didn't cause I got hurt, but I'll be back this year.

• 32:38Speaker 06

  You hurt yourself skiing or hurts yourself something?

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  Just mentally.

• 32:41Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  Mentally and emotionally. No, I, I hurt myself, uh, years ago, running a couple of years ago. It was a injury from before.

• 32:48Speaker 06

  Right.

• 32:48Andrew Santino?

  But it was stupid. I would run and then work out and then run home and I was running at dusk and I came off a curb that was like an odd height. And when I landed, my back was like.

• 32:56Speaker 06

  That's all it takes sometimes. It's like a weird step.

• 32:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, because also your body is exhausted. Your muscles are not, and I didn't stretch.

• 33:03Speaker 06

  So you don't run anymore?

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  I don't dude. I row. I row a lot. I love rowing.

• 33:08Speaker 06

  You row in the mornings?

• 33:09Andrew Santino?

  I row usually after breakfast. Yeah, I don't, I don't wanna, I don't like to wake up and work out anymore. I used to do that.

• 33:16Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm starting to change my, change my thing around. I used to go running every morning.

• 33:20Andrew Santino?

  How far?

• 33:21Speaker 06

  I don't know, four miles at the most, maybe five at the absolute most, or I'll go hiking. Uh, well, I'll do like an hour, hour and a half.

• 33:29Andrew Santino?

  Of something.

• 33:29Speaker 06

  Of something, but now I'm like, I don't know. I, I got really sick in June. With like a really bad, it's probably COVID. I just didn't test for it. You know what I mean? If it wasn't COVID, it was some other type of respiratory thing.

• 33:42Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 33:43Speaker 06

  Took me fucking months just to even get back to baseline. I think maybe three, four weeks ago, I started feeling actually.

• 33:51Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 33:51Speaker 06

  Like how do, how do people in their seventies, if you get a cold, it's like, well, this might be it.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  They die, they die.

• 33:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:58Andrew Santino?

  They just die.

• 33:58Speaker 06

  I get it now. Cause it just took forever to.

• 34:02Andrew Santino?

  Even when you worked out, you couldn't feel, you didn't feel better?

• 34:04Speaker 06

  I was going on runs and I would be twenty minutes in being like, man, what's going on here? And this was three, three or four weeks after I was sick. I'm thinking, I'm fine now, but it just took forever for my lungs to clear out. Like it took so long. I was doing all kinds of weird shit. Thinking like, oh, eat a bunch of rosemary and all, all these different homeopathic things, just trying to get my lungs clear, but I would be. Yeah, it took forever to get, it was probably RSV or some bullshit, who knows?

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, RSV.

• 34:31Speaker 06

  It was terrible, ugh.

• 34:32Andrew Santino?

  I think I caught that one time. The RSV, the respiratory one, I think I had that from, this place is a Petri dish, we have, because Andres from Bad Friends, he has a kid who's never not sick.

• 34:42Speaker 06

  The kids, the kids, all kids are just the vectors of disease.

• 34:46Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 34:46Speaker 06

  They are.

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  It truly, it is really.

• 34:48Speaker 06

  Like, every time we talk to Duncan, I'm like, "You're sick?" He's like, "Yep, sick again." "Everyone's sick, what happens is, is everyone's sick, then he's sick, or he's sick, then everyone's sick."

• 34:59Andrew Santino?

  It's just a cycle.

• 35:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 35:00Andrew Santino?

  And as soon as somebody gets healthy, someone else gets sick again.

• 35:02Speaker 06

  Especially if you've got more than one kid, it's just like a fucking, whoo, whoo, whoo.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  Why do it?

• 35:07Speaker 06

  Coming in, constantly sick.

• 35:11Andrew Santino?

  No kids, I don't have kids, therefore I don't get sick that much. No kids, I mean, him, he's my child, I guess.

• 35:16Speaker 06

  Oh, I don't know why I thought that.

• 35:18Andrew Santino?

  No, no kids, no kids.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot, designed to keep you connected. Powered by Verizon's 5G network. And, no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan. And save $10 on your first month when you use promo code HACK. Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply, see visible.com for details.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 36:19Speaker 06

  No kids, are you, are you gonna, you no kids?

• 36:22Andrew Santino?

  No kids, yeah, no kids, we don't have kids.

• 36:23Speaker 06

  So you're never kids?

• 36:24Andrew Santino?

  We can't have kids, so we tried, we can't do it. So now we'll just function without them and get sick less, is basically it. That was kind of the big argument. As we were having sex, I would be like, "Do we want to get sick all the time?"

• 36:35Speaker 06

  I'm getting sick right now.

• 36:38Speaker 06

  That could be a thing, you know, that's a kink, right?

• 36:40Andrew Santino?

  That's a big kink.

• 36:41Speaker 06

  It's a big kink, getting sick.

• 36:42Andrew Santino?

  I'm not gonna get sick.

• 36:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, uh...

• 36:46Andrew Santino?

  No kids for you ever?

• 36:47Speaker 06

  No kids.

• 36:47Andrew Santino?

  You're out.

• 36:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, I mean, I have, I have a niece now, which I love.

• 36:52Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty rad.

• 36:52Speaker 06

  I think it's great.

• 36:53Andrew Santino?

  You get to pop in, spoil them, leave.

• 36:55Speaker 06

  Well, I don't get, is if you have kids, like, I'm so worried about her, she's my niece.

• 37:01Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 37:02Speaker 06

  And if something ever happened to her, like, I will, I will lose my, I will kill, you know what I mean? Like, I got something going on, I'm throwing it away.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm gonna kill that person.

• 37:11Speaker 06

  I'm gonna do whatever I can.

• 37:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 06

  Imagine being a fucking actual parent of something?

• 37:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:16Speaker 06

  How do you do anything?

• 37:17Andrew Santino?

  Well, most of them become, well, a lot of my friends become manic, like, they get, they're freaked out, they're thinking about it all the time.

• 37:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, I would be not able to ever, I mean, how do you let them go to school? How do you?

• 37:28Andrew Santino?

  Well, how do you let them go to school is a larger question, how do you let them go to school? I would homeschool it.

• 37:32Speaker 06

  I can't imagine it.

• 37:33Andrew Santino?

  I would homeschool it and it would be, um, every day would be recess, though. I don't know if I'd ever be able to get to class, when I hear that, that kids, people homeschool, I'm like, I'm such a child.

• 37:43Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 37:43Andrew Santino?

  But if I had a kid at home, I'd be like, fuck this, you wanna go, wanna go goof around?

• 37:47Speaker 06

  Let's go throw some axes.

• 37:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 37:49Speaker 06

  She's three years old, I, I know she's three, miss, but, um, I will be throwing the axe, she's gonna be watching, saying, sorry, but we can't let her in, saying, well, um, uh, what if she's, she's, this is not a dog, this is a dog. Sorry, we can't have any axe thrown in place, sir, sir, I know who you are.

• 38:05Andrew Santino?

  I know who you are.

• 38:06Speaker 06

  Sir, I know who you are, I watched the podcast where you talked about this.

• 38:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. You really gave yourself away when you spoke about it, so I'm not gonna let you in here with a three-year-old to throw an axe.

• 38:15Speaker 06

  Can't let you in axe throwing, uh, with the three-year-old, sir, sorry about that, you're welcome to go across the street and get an IV.

• 38:22Speaker 06

  You ever get IVs?

• 38:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, I've done it a few times, I don't know if I buy it, I gotta be honest with you.

• 38:26Speaker 06

  Yeah, I don't know if I do either, I did one recently, I'm like... Kinda still feel like shit.

• 38:31Andrew Santino?

  I feel, I don't, it didn't work for me. Every time I get it, I feel a little odd as it's happening.

• 38:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 38:35Andrew Santino?

  And I don't like it. Like, I was sitting in my hotel in Boston, and I wasn't feeling good when I was doing a run of shows. And my tour manager was like, I can get you, there's a mobile woman that I know that'll come to the hotel. And I said, okay, let's try it. Because I'll try, maybe I'll feel good. So this mobile IV comes, this woman was very nice. She's chatting, we're just talking about life, and da-da-da, and the bag is like, you know, forty minutes later, it's, she's like, oh, you're kind of a slow. It's slow going in. I was like, yeah, I'm not really, yeah, I don't, I don't do this often. By the time it was done, I felt more exhausted and shitty.

• 39:06Speaker 06

  Weird.

• 39:06Andrew Santino?

  From kind of the anxiety of like, do the bag, can I'm not, is it not working? And she's like, no, no, it's working, it's fine. And then at night at shows, I was like, mm-mm, I'm not doing this. I don't think I'm ever doing this again. It like, it made me feel more out of it. It's the same reason I can't nap. I don't, I'm not a nap. No, I can't do it. I feel worse when I wake up.

• 39:24Speaker 06

  Have you ever, uh, tried meditating?

• 39:28Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm not even gonna lie. I mean, maybe I've tried, but it's always a bullshit. It's like with me with reading, it's the same thing. It's like.

• 39:34Speaker 06

  Just not, not gonna learn to read.

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  I can't do it.

• 39:36Speaker 06

  Nah, you know what?

• 39:37Andrew Santino?

  Can't do it.

• 39:37Speaker 06

  I look at the book, I'm like, I can't, what are these fucking symbols? I was just like, two-year-old Andrew's like, I'm not fucking reading this shit right here. I know there's words in there, but they don't make any sense to me.

• 39:49Andrew Santino?

  Put some wingdings in there. Every time I read a book, I get through ten pages at a time, at most. I can't do more than ten. Ten and my brain starts going, I wanna do something else. So I can read a book in ten, ten-page chunks.

• 40:02Speaker 06

  Have you tried nonfiction and fiction?

• 40:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I get off much more on nonfiction.

• 40:08Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  Like, I like nonfiction. In fact, like, I read, Warren Zevon wrote a, his wife wrote a book about his life.

• 40:15Speaker 06

  Sounds great.

• 40:16Andrew Santino?

  It was great.

• 40:17Speaker 06

  I'm sorry, that sounds like.

• 40:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, see, I love, see, that's I love.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  Oh, no way.

• 40:22Andrew Santino?

  It was, it was.

• 40:23Speaker 06

  I can't think of something, I couldn't tell you a Warren Zevon song.

• 40:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you do. Werewolves of London?

• 40:27Speaker 06

  I guess, that's it though, but does that even count? That's like saying like, you know, name a Beatles, not even that, it's just, of course.

• 40:33Andrew Santino?

  Name a Beatles song?

• 40:34Speaker 06

  That's the one song, that's the Warren Zevon song.

• 40:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's what you said if I didn't know. Okay, but I could name you a bunch of other ones, but.

• 40:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I don't know what they are.

• 40:41Andrew Santino?

  You'd like them a lot.

• 40:42Speaker 06

  I'm sure, but.

• 40:42Andrew Santino?

  He's fantastic.

• 40:44Speaker 06

  Is his life that interesting?

• 40:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was pretty wild.

• 40:46Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 40:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, in the sense of he just was a tortured artist, which is always fun to kind of read about, because it makes you feel not as bad about being a, being like a comic and living this life where you're like, this is very abnormal.

• 40:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's the most abnormal. It's so fucking abnormal.

• 40:59Andrew Santino?

  But it's nice to read that, uh, these other people that go through these weird spouts of like,

• 41:02Speaker 06

  Right.

• 41:03Andrew Santino?

  Or where he took inspiration from finding about how a song came to be. That I kind of love.

• 41:08Speaker 06

  I read about this guy Gary Stewart, he's a, he's a, um, country musician. He wrote that song Out of Hand and, um, she's acting single on Brinkin' Doubles, like it's all nineteen seventy-five stuff.

• 41:20Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 41:20Speaker 06

  This guy was an alcoholic for like forty-five years.

• 41:23Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 41:24Speaker 06

  Was married the whole time. His wife died, he was older, and then he died like a month later. It's just,

• 41:30Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 41:31Speaker 06

  So sad. It's just,

• 41:32Andrew Santino?

  But that's perfect.

• 41:33Speaker 06

  Right.

• 41:34Andrew Santino?

  You don't want to live much longer than your dead spouse. That's it. Get out, get out of there.

• 41:37Speaker 06

  But you read about this guy, you're like, this guy's, this is sad.

• 41:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's sad.

• 41:41Speaker 06

  Sad country.

• 41:42Andrew Santino?

  He died a month later by a self-inflicted gun.

• 41:44Speaker 06

  Oh, that's right. There you go. See, there you go.

• 41:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's not good.

• 41:48Speaker 06

  I knew, I knew when I listened to Gary Stewart, I'm like, this guy sounds sad.

• 41:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, okay.

• 41:53Andrew Santino?

  So many of you, so many of those great musicians.

• 41:55Speaker 06

  Oh, he's so good, too.

• 41:56Andrew Santino?

  John Prine, you listen to John Prine ever?

• 41:58Speaker 06

  A little bit, yeah, I like him.

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  I mean, that is fucking sad. That shit'll fucking break your heart a little bit.

• 42:02Speaker 06

  I think the saddest of all is the Roy Orbison voice. Roy Orbison, to me, you hear his voice and you're like, I was crying in the car the other day, driving to ADR. Like, I can't, I had, I can't listen to this right now.

• 42:14Andrew Santino?

  What's the saddest Orbison song you can think of?

• 42:16Speaker 06

  I think maybe the Traveling Wilbury song Not Alone Anymore.

• 42:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:22Speaker 06

  It's not just the sound, it's just the way he sings. And this guy,

• 42:26Andrew Santino?

  Give me a piece of it right now.

• 42:28Speaker 06

  I'm so sad, I'm really lonely. That's something like that.

• 42:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 06

  And he had so many bad things happen to him.

• 42:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, really?

• 42:40Speaker 06

  Crazy stuff, like, his house burned down, he was gone once, uh, he got hit, his, his girlfriend got hit on a motor, just, I can't remember, but it's all kind of mishmashed in my head.

• 42:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 06

  But you read about it, like, oh my god, oh my god.

• 42:54Andrew Santino?

  Like, it would be, well, but he would be a good songwriter then. Maybe, maybe the universe does that on purpose to go, you're gonna write a good song.

• 43:00Speaker 06

  I think it's not so much the songwriting as the way his voice, the character of, the tone of his voice has this thing, the trill of it, it unlocks some primitive part of your brain where you're like,

• 43:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's got, there's like a lot of guys that make me, like Ben Gibbard does that a lot, like, yeah, he's got that very like.

• 43:20Speaker 06

  Merle Haggard has it.

• 43:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 06

  He has that, you just sound sad, man.

• 43:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, so did Neil Young sounded fucking sad. Even when he was rocking, you were like, this is sad.

• 43:29Speaker 06

  He's still alive, you know.

• 43:31Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 43:33Speaker 06

  You don't, yes, Neil Young?

• 43:34Andrew Santino?

  He's been dead for thirty years.

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  I don't know any better.

• 43:38Speaker 06

  Well, cause you said it in a way where you're like.

• 43:40Andrew Santino?

  Well, he doesn't, I mean, is he still really making music or is he just getting up there putzing around?

• 43:44Speaker 06

  He is surprisingly active.

• 43:46Andrew Santino?

  Is he really?

• 43:47Speaker 06

  Neil Young is, he's out there, man.

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  Do you want to see a Neil Young in twenty twenty-five, though?

• 43:50Speaker 06

  I don't want to see Neil Young.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  Is that gonna sound, ever? Yeah, you're not a big fan.

• 43:53Speaker 06

  I respect him a lot, but I'm not a Neil Young guy.

• 43:56Andrew Santino?

  It was, it wasn't a love of mine, but I did think he, he made some bangers.

• 43:59Speaker 06

  He's got some great bangers. I mean, he's a super cool guy. He's awesome, great person.

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  But also sad, tragic. These all, these guys all live sad, tragic. Name your, name your big, the biggest artist you know that didn't, musician that didn't live a little bit of a sad life. Like, who's cruisin'?

• 44:13Speaker 06

  Who's cruisin'? I mean, someone who's boring and stupid, probably.

• 44:16Andrew Santino?

  Or who's put on an act, right? That that wasn't, like, uh, Gene Simmons, right? Like, Gene Simmons had, and he's pretty public about, that's not who he is.

• 44:25Speaker 06

  No.

• 44:25Andrew Santino?

  He's like a Jewish kid from Brooklyn, but he has this like, rock star hardcore persona, maniac, like, animal. He's not. He's, that's the opposite of who he is.

• 44:34Speaker 06

  He's just loaded with herpes.

• 44:37Andrew Santino?

  Is that true?

• 44:38Speaker 06

  I don't know. I.

• 44:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, probably.

• 44:40Speaker 06

  I'm not a fan.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  You're not gonna kiss him.

• 44:42Speaker 06

  I would never kiss Gene. I wouldn't eat a fucking donut he looked at.

• 44:44Andrew Santino?

  You wouldn't kiss him. Kiss.

• 44:47Speaker 06

  Oh, right. I see what you, I see what you kissed there.

• 44:50Andrew Santino?

  See, I slid another there.

• 44:51Speaker 06

  I see what you kissed there.

• 44:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I never liked that band. I didn't, I couldn't, uh.

• 44:54Speaker 06

  Fandom has the best joke about them from years ago.

• 44:56Andrew Santino?

  Josh?

• 44:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 44:57Andrew Santino?

  What does he say?

• 44:58Speaker 06

  It's like, um, God, I'm not gonna do a justice, but he's like, you know that band that's like super hardcore about all about rock and stuff that goes like, hey, we're kissin', rock and roll, rock and roll, hey, hey, hey, rock and roll, rock and roll? Like, they're just like, their music is so tepid and lightweight, but they're like, oh, big scary crazy face paint. I wanna rock, I wanna rock, I wanna rock with you, rock, rock.

• 45:18Andrew Santino?

  We wanna rock, let's do some rock, it's crazy time. That's his jo, that's his joke completely. It's Josh Fadham's joke. But that's how you know.

• 45:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 45:25Andrew Santino?

  That persona was fake because it was, it kinda, it was a great facade. It worked so well. People bought into it.

• 45:31Speaker 06

  Like my facade.

• 45:32Andrew Santino?

  No, your facade, you're real. What you see is what you get.

• 45:35Speaker 06

  I guess so, kind of.

• 45:36Andrew Santino?

  I think for you, what you see.

• 45:36Speaker 06

  I mean, is anybody though?

• 45:39Andrew Santino?

  You're pretty much what you see is what you get. I think because your comedy matches your personality very well.

• 45:44Speaker 06

  I hope so.

• 45:44Andrew Santino?

  There are a lot of comics or performers whose personality

• 45:48Speaker 06

  Oh, it is not, yeah.

• 45:49Andrew Santino?

  dramatically different than their

• 45:50Speaker 06

  Very different, yeah. It's almost, you know, I was thinking about this the other day, actually, about how anytime you get a compliment from someone about something like, I shot something the other day. This lady who was doing the hair, she was just very complimentary, an older lady, very sweet lady. And I was just like, you know, I wasn't really doing anything. I was just, you know, I'm following Jeremy Renner. I'm just walking and it's behind him. But she was being very complimentary about what I was doing. I'm thinking like, why am I doing anything, you know, just sort of be existing there. But I'm thinking like, oh, it's because if you're a comedian, most comedians, their entire life is essentially practicing comedy because they're always fucking around trying to make their

• 46:33Speaker 06

  friends or their friends' parents or like someone laugh.

• 46:36Andrew Santino?

  True.

• 46:37Speaker 06

  They're always doing it. And it's like, oh yeah, I guess I've been doing this forever. So I just, I've had a lot of unintended practice. I've been practicing without thinking I'm practicing. I'm just goofing off.

• 46:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 06

  But there's a lot of comedians who don't practice. Know what I mean?

• 46:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:54Speaker 06

  Like in life, they're not like, they're not goofing off, they're not taking the piss.

• 46:59Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 47:00Speaker 06

  They're kind of, yeah, it's a separate thing.

• 47:02Andrew Santino?

  Two separate things, right. You have to create the character for the thing.

• 47:04Speaker 06

  Right. Like they're not funny offstage, which is, I don't know, that sounds kind of miserable.

• 47:10Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's, if, it does, the problem with comedy is that people want you to be hilarious all the time and you're like, well, a lot of times I want to be a human.

• 47:17Speaker 06

  Right.

• 47:17Andrew Santino?

  But then a lot of times you're like, well, but when it's time to like, not take life serious, that's when I get to dig in and have a goof. That's when I'm like, oh, this is fun. But it's hard, like with your wife. They don't, they're like, shut up, shut up.

• 47:29Speaker 06

  See, I've never stopped with her. I'm like

• 47:32Andrew Santino?

  You're always going.

• 47:33Speaker 06

  Constantly, I'm constantly Pissing her off essentially. And every, you know, the laughter gets fewer and fewer because she's seen it all.

• 47:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 06

  When I get her these days, I'm like, fuck, yes.

• 47:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, when I can get her, it's, when I get her, it's amazing. You're like, oh my god.

• 47:46Speaker 06

  It's the hardest nut to crack.

• 47:47Andrew Santino?

  Also, you're like, you like that? That's funny?

• 47:49Speaker 06

  Exactly.

• 47:50Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes I'm shocked by what they find funny.

• 47:52Speaker 06

  That was good.

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  And she's like, that's really funny. You're like, really?

• 47:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, some of that, oh, I have the best, this is what gets her now. This is the one thing I can get my wife with. It's the dumbest thing ever. You ever seen the show Naked and Afraid?

• 48:03Andrew Santino?

  I love it. We, we watch the fuck out of that show. I love it.

• 48:05Speaker 06

  You know the Australian woman who's like, uh, really successful in the show?

• 48:09Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:09Speaker 06

  She kind of talks like this.

• 48:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 06

  She's kind of crazy. So I'll talk to my wife and say, Brittany, I want you to eat me out now. I'm gonna, I, I love your look. I'm gonna have you come eat me out. I'm gonna be real gentle with you. I'm gonna teach you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna come real hard with you, okay sweetheart? Alright, I love that you're doing your makeup. I don't need you to put on makeup right now. Just come over here, come to the Belma, and we're gonna have lesbian sex together, okay? You're gonna be nervous out here in the bush, but I'm gonna make you relaxed. We're both gonna have great orgasms, Brittany. It's just that, that fucking voice. That's the only thing, so I end up doing that.

• 48:43Andrew Santino?

  Did she do it back ever? Was she trying to mock you or no?

• 48:45Speaker 06

  Oh, no. She doesn't do voices at all. Not at all.

• 48:47Andrew Santino?

  Can't do it?

• 48:48Speaker 06

  Nope.

• 48:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you can't have two voicers in the house.

• 48:50Speaker 06

  Oh, my god. You, you can, but you can also have like a fucking, you know. Someone's gonna buy a gun and it's gonna be like a murder at some point.

• 48:57Andrew Santino?

  That'll be the end of it. But also, pretty cool to get murdered by your spouse.

• 49:01Speaker 06

  That is the way to go.

• 49:02Andrew Santino?

  I don't want to get murdered by a stranger.

• 49:04Speaker 06

  Yeah. I mean, who, the best drummer in the history of America was murdered by his girlfriend.

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  The best drummer in the history of America.

• 49:12Speaker 06

  Drummer for Booker T and the MGs.

• 49:13Andrew Santino?

  He's the best drummer of all time.

• 49:15Speaker 06

  I think he's, I think he's up there in terms of importance and, yeah, skill.

• 49:19Andrew Santino?

  Wow. And his wife murdered him.

• 49:21Speaker 06

  Uh, his girlfriend. But here's the best part, is he tried to, she tried to kill him once, before, like, two years prior. And he stuck with her? Yeah.

• 49:30Andrew Santino?

  And he stuck around?

• 49:31Speaker 06

  I know, man.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  That's love.

• 49:33Speaker 06

  Right, is that right? Al Jackson Jr.? Booker T and the MGs? A lot of these soul guys, like, uh, someone else, uh-

• 49:40Andrew Santino?

  Booker T and the MG's Green Onions?

• 49:41Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:42Andrew Santino?

  Green Onions?

• 49:43Speaker 06

  Booker T and the MG's, uh, someone else's girlfriend, I think it's, uh, not Sill Johnson, but I think there's a bunch of these Memphis guys-

• 49:50Andrew Santino?

  Love Sill Johnson.

• 49:51Speaker 08

  It was an intruder that shot him. They still don't know who did it.

• 49:54Andrew Santino?

  It was his girlfriend.

• 49:55Speaker 06

  But his girlfriend also tried to kill him earlier, though.

• 49:57Speaker 08

  Yes, that happened.

• 49:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but the, the, the intruder was his girlfriend.

• 50:01Speaker 08

  The return home reportedly was told to get down on his knees and was fatally shot five times in the back around 3 a.m. October 1st.

• 50:07Speaker 06

  Oh, god.

• 50:08Speaker 08

  Barbara Jackson ran out in the street yelling for help. She told police burglars had tied her up and shot her husband while he had returned home. Police found nothing out of place in the house and Jackson's wallet and jewelry were still on him.

• 50:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but-

• 50:17Speaker 08

  The man who had believed to have pulled the trigger was reportedly knew someone in Memphis. After robbing a bank in Florida, that person told the trigger man to meet him at Al Jackson's house, tracked through Florida to Memphis and then to Seattle, Washington. And the suspected murderer, the boyfriend of Barbara Jackson's friend Dennis LaSalle-

• 50:32Speaker 06

  There you go.

• 50:33Speaker 08

  -was killed by a police officer in 1976 after an unrelated gunfight.

• 50:36Andrew Santino?

  Now, it's, on what, this is 70s?

• 50:39Speaker 08

  Uh, yeah.

• 50:39Andrew Santino?

  So, no forensic, so clearly there's, you can't do, in the 70s, when somebody got murdered, they were like, "Well, that's it."

• 50:45Speaker 06

  Well, well, it was probably the boyfriend, but we don't know.

• 50:47Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't matter.

• 50:48Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:49Andrew Santino?

  Back to break. It, like, it never, they weren't, before forensics, we, we solved no cases, because they were like, "Ah, who are you gonna, what are you gonna find the guy, how are you gonna find the fucking guy? Who cares?" All, the, the tragic musician, I think the worst one, Sam Cooke got shot by a prostitute on the west side. That was probably the worst one.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  I know Sam Cooke got shot by a hotel owner in Memphis. Was that King Curtis?

• 51:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no. Sam Cooke was here in Santa Monica.

• 51:13Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  In fact, probably one of the worst versions of the story finally came clean years later before the hotel woman, um, died. She admitted the truth, which is even more tragic, because the woman that, they, they had, they had, they were in cahoots. The prostitute and the hotel clerk, they were like, "He has a wad of cash at the nightclub." They got him all fucked up, got him in the hotel. He woke up-

• 51:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  Um, and this is obviously her account. Woke up in a panic because they were trying to rob him. He chased her down. They shot him in the front of the hallway. They claimed to the police he was abusing them and he was drunk and hitting her and blah, blah, blah, blah. And the cops were like, well, this lines up. I mean, this isn't the first time he's been caught with a prostitute. And he obviously has ha- he's handsy with them.

• 51:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 51:52Andrew Santino?

  And so then-

• 51:53Speaker 06

  Also, and he's bl- he's black. So, uh, anything you say, well, uh, that's all great, but he's black, so-

• 51:59Andrew Santino?

  But he's still black, right?

• 52:00Speaker 06

  He's black in Santa Monica. Book him.

• 52:02Andrew Santino?

  Book him, Dano!

• 52:03Speaker 06

  Oh, he's dead? Oh, he killed himself, obviously, you know?

• 52:05Andrew Santino?

  Obviously, that's what they do out here.

• 52:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 52:07Andrew Santino?

  So then, and then years later, I think the woman finally admitted prior to her death disgustingly enough that it was all a lie, that he didn't try to rob them. They tried to rob him and it wasn't that he was, uh, doing anything nefarious. They just got scared that he woke up. Chased them and then shot him. And his final words were, "Lady, you shot me," which I think res- it just like, that haunts me.

• 52:26Speaker 06

  Jesus.

• 52:27Andrew Santino?

  Just to see this, one of these unbelievably beautiful singers and then at the end of his life, his last stupid words were, "Lady, you shot me." Like, what a bummer.

• 52:35Speaker 06

  There's so many guys who got, like, King Curtis got shot too in Memphis by a hotel, in a hotel, I think. So many of these guys, like, I was talking about reggae musicians. There's so many of them who were murdered.

• 52:47Andrew Santino?

  By, by like lovers, significant others, all this stuff?

• 52:49Speaker 06

  I think it's mostly like, uh, you know.

• 52:52Andrew Santino?

  Shit gone wrong.

• 52:53Speaker 06

  Gang shit or-

• 52:53Andrew Santino?

  Gang shit gone wrong.

• 52:55Speaker 06

  Crime, just like crime shit. If you've got money, if you come from nothing and you get money, people who you came up with who don't have any money now are gonna try to kill you. Cause they're fucking criminals.

• 53:06Andrew Santino?

  Which is what you're going through right now. That's why you keep moving. You can't stop moving.

• 53:10Speaker 06

  Came up with some bad guys. They keep finding me.

• 53:12Andrew Santino?

  They keep finding you, those kids from your youth.

• 53:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:14Andrew Santino?

  And what do they want out of you?

• 53:15Speaker 06

  They want me to sign things I don't wanna sign.

• 53:20Speaker 06

  Like, you know, like condoms and, um, their wife's breasts.

• 53:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, you'll, that, you don't, you don't do that anymore, but for years, you were the boob guy. Pemberton would sign every pair of tits that came to a show.

• 53:33Speaker 06

  God.

• 53:34Andrew Santino?

  You would do shows and there would be, I mean, three, four dozen women waiting in line for you to sign their breasts. And that was the height to me of your career.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Let's bring it back.

• 53:42Andrew Santino?

  Let's bring it back. Ladies.

• 53:44Speaker 06

  Bring it back.

• 53:44Andrew Santino?

  Bring it. Have you ever signed a boob before on tour?

• 53:47Speaker 06

  If I have, I've completely forgotten it.

• 53:49Andrew Santino?

  I signed a woman's boob in Madison.

• 53:51Speaker 06

  Really?

• 53:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a woman who was probably in her late 60s and she was wasted.

• 53:53Speaker 06

  Oh, that's cool.

• 53:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a young girl's boob is not, that's not a cool thing to do. It's like uncomfortable and odd.

• 53:59Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:59Andrew Santino?

  No, she was like in her late 60s and she was drunk with her girlfriend and...

• 54:02Speaker 06

  Did you have to like, smooth it out to, um, to get traction?

• 54:05Andrew Santino?

  I rested it on my knee and put it right on my knee.

• 54:07Speaker 06

  But did you have to like, you know how when you sign a t-shirt, you kind of gotta pull it?

• 54:10Andrew Santino?

  Smooth it, yeah.

• 54:10Speaker 06

  You gotta pull it tight to get the, to get the thing to track?

• 54:13Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 54:14Speaker 06

  You have to pull the tit down a little bit and be like, you know?

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  This was pretty easy. It was pretty flat. I mean, it was all I, I kind of like tugged down on it.

• 54:19Speaker 06

  Are you sure this was a, was a, was a breast?

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  It could have been a dude. Doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter at that point.

• 54:23Speaker 06

  Yeah, at some point, that's what happens.

• 54:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:26Speaker 06

  I'm looking forward to, well, see, I already look like a lady, so I'm probably gonna look more, I get more masculine with age. Where a lot of men, when they start to hit past 50, they start to get a little bit like an auntie.

• 54:36Andrew Santino?

  Do you, has anybody ever mistook you for a woman from the back?

• 54:39Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. I used to have really long hair. I remember one time when I first moved here and I was working in an office. I went in the men's bathroom and I was washing, I was, yeah, I went in the men's bathroom, I'm gonna say, yeah, I was in, I was in the bathroom.

• 54:50Andrew Santino?

  I snuck into the men's bathroom.

• 54:51Speaker 06

  I was in, I was in the men's bathroom and, um, I'm washing my hands and a guy comes in and he sees me. He goes back out and he looks at the sign of the door to make sure he was in the right bathroom. I mean, I still get called miss on the phone all the time.

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  You do?

• 55:08Speaker 06

  By strangers, yeah. I get called miss or ma'am.

• 55:11Andrew Santino?

  How do you respond?

• 55:12Speaker 06

  I just, I don't know. What am I, sometimes I'll just say...

• 55:15Andrew Santino?

  Do you ever play into it? Like you're, like it's for fun?

• 55:17Speaker 06

  I think I've done everything you can do. I've, I've been mean, I've played against it, I've done all the stuff.

• 55:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:25Speaker 06

  That was just back when you get more like actual, like scam calls and stuff that would answer.

• 55:30Andrew Santino?

  I miss scam calls.

• 55:31Speaker 06

  I know.

• 55:31Andrew Santino?

  Scam, scam likely?

• 55:32Speaker 06

  Well, it's just scam texts.

• 55:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, scam texts is not, it's, that's the problem with scam texts. I can't engage because it's boring.

• 55:38Speaker 06

  I have engaged.

• 55:39Andrew Santino?

  At least give me a ring.

• 55:40Speaker 06

  I have a technique.

• 55:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you do?

• 55:41Speaker 06

  Yeah. What you do... Is you get the scam texts, it's always like, um, oh, hey Melissa, it is me, Joan. Are we still doing our lunch today? You know that? Yeah. So you say, um, ha, ha, ha, you think you have the wrong number? And they always reply like, oh, so sorry, didn't mean to waste your time. I'm like, who are, I'm so sorry, I'm like, yes, I, hi, I am in fact, John, a banker in New York City. It is funny that you are being texting of me. And then they'll text back, oh, this is so nice to have been meeting of you, John. I am still Melissa. Perhaps you are wanting to have lunch? And I say, haha, this is not okay, because I am in New York and you are someplace else, I assume? Yes, I am in San Francisco, but we'll be visiting New York soon.

• 56:25Speaker 06

  Are you interested in being that friend of me? And I'll say like, oh, I perchance would be interested in doing this. Would you possibly send me your photo? And they'll volunteer and they'll send you a picture, which is always like, some Asian woman that's been like digitally smooth. You know, like, like, like just the most generic digitally smooth Asian woman in a, in a golf outfit. And you reply like, oh, wow, such beauty you possess, Melissa. To be lucky to have lunch with you would be the grandest, most epic, beautiful thing for me, John, a banker in New York City. And then you keep talking a little bit and you say, would it be possible for me to send you my photo? And they say, yes. Then what you do is you go on to the dark browser. And you Google man shitting porn.

• 57:11Speaker 06

  Like, you want to find a picture of a man with a boner who's also having shit coming out of his asshole. You have to have both things have to be in the frame. You take that picture and then you send it to them. And they reply, fuck you, you motherfucker, you fucking asshole. And you're like, yes. And now I've wasted fifteen minutes of my life that I'll never get back. But it was worth it. Sometimes, once in a while, if I have something to do, that I will do that.

• 57:42Speaker 00

  Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot designed to keep you connected. Powered by Verizon's 5G network. And no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code "HACK". Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for details.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 58:15Andrew Santino?

  Hey, I'm here to tell you about Rag & Bone. I'm rocking them jeans right now. I love Rag & Bone. I've liked them for a very long time and now they're a partner of ours. They make jeans that are built to last. They spent 20 years obsessed with making jeans that get better over time. And more do they ever. Comfortable, premium materials, great craftsmanship. They're made to last. I've had Rag & Bone jeans for many, many years and they offer a range of fits tailored for any style or occasion where loose and baggy, slim, straight, athletic, relaxed. No matter what you like, Rag & Bone has that. Okay? They really do make quality stuff. They feel premium, they look sharp and you can tell they're meant to be long-term wardrobe staple. Rag & Bone doesn't just make your new go-to denim. They've also got buttery soft tees, elevated essentials to jackets, knits that pull your whole look together. It's premium wardrobe staples made to last and made to live in.

• 58:58Andrew Santino?

  And I love Rag & Bone because it's simple and classic and clean, but high-end at the same time. They make quality stuff. It's time to upgrade your denim with Rag & Bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with the code WHISKY at rag-bone.com. That's 20% off at rag-bone.com with promo code WHISKY. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know the old ginge sent ya. It's football season and it's the end of baseball season and it's getting hot. I love it. You know, parlays are tough. Sometimes you lose them in chunks, you know? Until I started using Hall of Fame bets. Their parlay optimizer was a game changer, knowing which legs to keep, which ones to get rid of. They tell you, they're like, you should probably, probably toss that one away.

• 59:41Andrew Santino?

  I'm telling you, right now, I'm worried about my Chicago Bears. They're on a losing streak. I hope they flip it around. And you know what? You can put together like a quick three legger in the app for that receiver that you've been wanting them to throw the ball to for a long time. And who knows what happens, alright? Smart batters rely on data and Hall of Fame hands you powerful analytics at your fingertips to tilt the odds in your favor, improve your chances of winning using historical data, match upgrades, trends and player performance insights. They have it all for you right there. If you're an analytics nerd, you're gonna love Hall of Fame Bets. Truly, created by Ivy League sports geeks to let everyday fans bet smarter. They were sick of everyday fans getting taken. Forget about it. And you can send bets with one click and it's trusted by winning bettors.

• 1:00:24Andrew Santino?

  Hall of Fame has over 1 million total users. That's a lot of people. Why not join in that? If you like nerd stuff, nerd stats, without having to do the math or the knowledge needed, Hall of Fame is designed to be easy use for the everyday sports fan. For a limited time, our listeners not only get a seven day free trial, but they also get 50% off their first month when they use code WHISKY at checkout. That's us, baby. Just download the Hall of Fame app on iOS or Android and enter the code WHISKY and you're all set.

• 1:00:55Speaker 06

  That's my procrastination now is like, I've got so much to do, but I gotta reply.

• 1:01:01Andrew Santino?

  You gotta reply.

• 1:01:02Speaker 06

  I gotta ruin this, this poor man's life in the Philippines. Who's being forced to text 100 people at a time, me being one of them.

• 1:01:09Andrew Santino?

  What are they getting out? Do you think they actually get information from some of these people? They get banking stuff?

• 1:01:13Speaker 06

  Absolutely. There's so many stories of people. What they do evidently, a lot of times is they, they will actually carry on a relationship. And there's people out there who are sadly, very, very lonely. And they will, they just, there's people who know they're being scammed.

• 1:01:28Andrew Santino?

  And they'll still go along with it.

• 1:01:29Speaker 06

  They still do it because what they're getting, they're getting something out of it. They're getting like, they're talking to someone, they're sharing all the stuff and... God, I mean.

• 1:01:38Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's almost worth it for them then. If they're paying into something, maybe they are getting what they wanted ultimately, which is just part companionship.

• 1:01:43Speaker 06

  But like bankrupting your family because that, there's, there's ones that you see it.

• 1:01:48Andrew Santino?

  Money come, money go.

• 1:01:49Speaker 06

  I fucking turn it off. I'm like, I can't even see that. Cause you know what, things that just makes you, makes you mad for them and you can't help them.

• 1:01:56Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:01:56Speaker 06

  Like, ah, but your kid is in college. And you just spend all their money talking with a person who don't even, is not even.

• 1:02:04Andrew Santino?

  Some poor, uh, young Filipino boy who's just texting with a grown man from New York, John from New York, the banker. There's good sides of the internet. I just got told and I, I have yet to get a notification. I'm excited for it. It's called be my eyes. Do you know this?

• 1:02:19Speaker 06

  No idea.

• 1:02:20Andrew Santino?

  Okay, this app, be my eyes. So I downloaded this. My friend Hillary told me about it. It's actually fascinating. There's eight hundred and four, eight, eight hundred ninety-four thousand blind people who are on the app and there's nine million volunteers. So what happens is you can be their eyes. If they're like, hey, I'm at an Airbnb and.

• 1:02:36Speaker 06

  This is cool shit.

• 1:02:37Andrew Santino?

  It's wild. And they're like, hey, I'm at Airbnb and I don't really, I can't really tell which is what, where, because they're legally blind, but they're fuck, and they go, do you, you know, that I need this help. And then a notification pops up. You could say yes. My friend Hillary got it three fucking times. I've gotten it zero because you have to be fast because there's nine million people that are on this.

• 1:02:54Speaker 06

  People want to help.

• 1:02:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. And so you open it up and it's face, they, you're FaceTiming and they're, they have the phone up and you're seeing what they're seeing. And you can instruct them to do, you know, like, oh yeah, you go there and that, that cabinet is actually has nothing but cups and bowls. I think down below, so you're their eyes for them and I want to do it so fucking bad. And I just, this, so this is hope of the internet, that there is parts of it that you go.

• 1:03:15Speaker 06

  Did you know my brain's going to right now?

• 1:03:17Andrew Santino?

  I know, go ahead.

• 1:03:18Speaker 06

  I may not have to even say it.

• 1:03:19Andrew Santino?

  Bonus shit videos, I know.

• 1:03:21Speaker 06

  People on there who are.

• 1:03:22Andrew Santino?

  Weirdo pervert psychos. Yeah, of course. But I think there's enough good people that just want to help people that it feels that, you know what I mean? That it feels good.

• 1:03:30Speaker 06

  But imagine if you're on there and you just keep getting dicks.

• 1:03:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the whole time. Well, they can't, they can't see it.

• 1:03:35Speaker 06

  I just want to know.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  They can't see it.

• 1:03:37Speaker 06

  But maybe you can see just enough to like, I can't tell what this says, but I can see that's a dick.

• 1:03:43Andrew Santino?

  Or even someone could just intentionally lie about the layout of an area or a house. Well, I don't think people are that evil that would sign up for this. I know what you mean. There are, there are people that do that, but I. For TikTok, for troll, they're like, we're trolling the blind. Well, I hope they don't. I hope those people stay the fuck away. Well, dude, we used to do like my buddy's parents in high school. I think I've told this on this show, but my buddy's parents in high school were both deaf. And they showed us, and this is, you know, what, twenty? Five years ago, whatever the fuck. Um, they showed us a thing called IP relay. Do you know IP relay is?

• 1:04:13Speaker 06

  It sounds like a joke for IP freely or something.

• 1:04:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is. IP relay is essentially a service that the government funded thirty years ago. I think it's still around if you Google IP relay. And basically, a deaf person will, this is landline time, and you would use it to call IP relay. And they would, um, they would talk to the person for you and then relay it back to them via, via text type. Or there was a phone that they could read it off of.

• 1:04:40Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:04:40Andrew Santino?

  And so, um, we would use this just to fuck around because the IP relay person, the poor person on the other, they had to say everything you said.

• 1:04:48Speaker 06

  Oh, that's that, yep, that's that thing where.

• 1:04:50Andrew Santino?

  We used to do it in high school, all that. But our friend's dad, you know, who was deaf, he's the one that showed us because he was like, this would be very funny. And he was the one that told us to do it. So it was his fucking influence.

• 1:05:00Speaker 06

  No, that's, that's awesome.

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  But he had such a good sense of humor, dude. He, he was like, he's like, fuck around. They'll say anything that you want. So we would fuck around. We'd tell them, we'd be like, what are you wearing right now, Karen? They'd be like, Karen, what are you wearing right now? To type all this shit out. And then you hear them relay it back to you. It's so fucked up. But high school, dude. We'd get stoned in his room and his dad would come in and we'd be baked out of our fucking head. And his dad would sit on the floor because he loved the bass of the music while we were getting stoned. So he would just sit.

• 1:05:28Speaker 06

  That's cool.

• 1:05:28Andrew Santino?

  And he, yeah, he, he would sit down and be like.

• 1:05:30Speaker 06

  Good song.

• 1:05:31Andrew Santino?

  And we're like, good song? He's like, good song. But he, he, any, there were certain music that if it was like too transitional, he'd be like, I don't know. I don't know. No.

• 1:05:42Speaker 06

  Oh, he's out.

• 1:05:42Andrew Santino?

  He didn't, he would get, he'd bail on it. He like, didn't like it.

• 1:05:45Speaker 06

  That's cool.

• 1:05:45Andrew Santino?

  Hey, I learned so much from these, their fucking parents. Like, I was like, you know, curious teenager, like, how do they wake up in the morning? Like, what are their alarms?

• 1:05:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:52Andrew Santino?

  They have these, uh, they put it underneath their, their, between their box spring and their mattress. It vibrates to wake them up in the morning.

• 1:05:59Speaker 06

  That's funny.

• 1:05:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was like, I could fucking use that because I miss my alarm. I sleep through my alarm every fucking time. I have to set multiple alarms.

• 1:06:06Speaker 06

  We have a puppy now, so.

• 1:06:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're up, dude. How old's the dog?

• 1:06:10Speaker 06

  A year and a half. She's great, I love her, but-

• 1:06:12Andrew Santino?

  Give me a photo, you got a photo of this dog?

• 1:06:14Speaker 06

  Do I have a photo of my puppy?

• 1:06:16Andrew Santino?

  I know, well you'd be a psychopath to not-

• 1:06:17Speaker 06

  Fucking thousand of them. This dog is-

• 1:06:19Andrew Santino?

  What kind of dog is it?

• 1:06:20Speaker 06

  It's a golden retriever.

• 1:06:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh man, is that gonna be good-

• 1:06:22Speaker 06

  This dog is a model. This dog is the opposite of our previous dog.

• 1:06:26Andrew Santino?

  Golden retrievers are pretty good looking. It's rare to see an Ugo golden.

• 1:06:29Speaker 06

  No, this dog is literally a model dog.

• 1:06:31Andrew Santino?

  I saw a bulldog last night though that, they make me laugh, cuz they're so much louder than a human they're with.

• 1:06:36Speaker 06

  This is her.

• 1:06:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 1:06:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's very small too.

• 1:06:41Andrew Santino?

  Is that chewing on a bully stick? Is that what that is?

• 1:06:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, you know what a bully stick is, right?

• 1:06:44Andrew Santino?

  Come on dude, I have a dog. What the fuck?

• 1:06:45Speaker 06

  Okay, I just-

• 1:06:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I have a dog.

• 1:06:48Speaker 06

  Okay, I didn't know-

• 1:06:48Andrew Santino?

  I don't chew them. And this dog's name, let me guess. Give me the first letter.

• 1:06:52Speaker 06

  Y?

• 1:06:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeller. Um-

• 1:06:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:06:58Speaker 06

  Every day I'm like, "It could be you, this could be the last day!"

• 1:07:01Andrew Santino?

  This dog's name is, um...

• 1:07:06Andrew Santino?

  Yolanda.

• 1:07:07Speaker 06

  No, that's a good one though.

• 1:07:09Andrew Santino?

  Your dog's name, uh, give me the last letter.

• 1:07:12Speaker 06

  Uh, T.

• 1:07:16Speaker 06

  Let me see-

• 1:07:17Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, Y and then a T. Do you have a guess, Coney?

• 1:07:20Speaker 07

  No.

• 1:07:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, uh-

• 1:07:22Speaker 06

  Let's get a picture of her.

• 1:07:23Andrew Santino?

  Jesus Christ dude, so cute. Come on, what's, Y and then T Johnny?

• 1:07:28Speaker 06

  T's the last letter.

• 1:07:29Andrew Santino?

  I know, but the Y to T, um-

• 1:07:31Speaker 06

  I mean, this is a hard, this is-

• 1:07:33Andrew Santino?

  Give it to me, what is it?

• 1:07:34Speaker 06

  Yogurt.

• 1:07:35Andrew Santino?

  God! I knew it was gonna be something obscure, I thought, it's gotta be inanimate and it's obscure, it can't be something- Yogurt is perfect.

• 1:07:42Speaker 06

  Yogurt's good, yogurt's great, she's the sweetest thing ever, she's like-

• 1:07:45Andrew Santino?

  Yogurt's good, yogurt's great. Every time we speak in these choppy parables, it's always Trump. Yogurt's good, yogurt's great. She's the best of the great yogurt dogs.

• 1:07:54Speaker 06

  She's the best.

• 1:07:55Andrew Santino?

  That is a great dog. Yogurt's a good name. Mine's corny because I'm a Cubs fan, so mine's Cubby.

• 1:08:00Speaker 06

  Cubby, that's a good name for a dog.

• 1:08:01Andrew Santino?

  I just love, she's, her name, her name at first when we found her was Pantera.

• 1:08:06Speaker 06

  Oh, that's cool though.

• 1:08:07Andrew Santino?

  I know, we wanted to keep it. Pantera.

• 1:08:09Speaker 06

  You like Pantera?

• 1:08:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're fucking rad, but they, you know what Pantera means?

• 1:08:13Speaker 06

  Means panther.

• 1:08:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's right. So they named her the Black Panther, uh, when she was a little, in this litter.

• 1:08:18Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:18Andrew Santino?

  And the guy who named her, this sweet man in east Los, east downtown LA was like, uh, to our friend Meg was like, "I cannot, I cannot keep her, so-"

• 1:08:27Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:08:27Andrew Santino?

  "They all gotta go." And she was like, what are you gonna do with them? He's like, well, they all gotta go, maybe to the shelter. And she was like, no, please don't do that.

• 1:08:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  And she was like, I'm gonna take all these dogs as fast as I can, please don't give them away. And she started calling friends and posting on Instagram.

• 1:08:41Speaker 06

  What kind of dog is it?

• 1:08:42Andrew Santino?

  She's a mutt. She's like a cocker spaniel, terrier. Uh, she's, she's a, she, uh, honestly, if you look at her, you know what she looks like? What a kid would go, dog.

• 1:08:50Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 1:08:51Andrew Santino?

  When a kid see, like, a kid would literally just point at my dog and just go, dog.

• 1:08:55Speaker 06

  Oh, right, yeah.

• 1:08:56Andrew Santino?

  She just looks like dog.

• 1:08:57Speaker 06

  It's like a little like, little, uh...

• 1:08:58Andrew Santino?

  A little twenty pound dog. Just a dog.

• 1:09:01Speaker 06

  Little mop.

• 1:09:02Andrew Santino?

  Little mop dog.

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot, designed to keep you connected. Powered by Verizon's 5G network. And no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan. And save $10 on your first month when you use promo code HACK. Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for details.

• 1:09:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and do, little kids do do that when we walk around. Dog! Cause it is like standard black dog. If you're like, black, standard black dog, AI would be like, this dog. She's rad, uh, but she's a, um... You know, she's gotten a little fancy, cause we found her in a warehouse, they found her in a warehouse in East LA. And now, she lives in the life of luxury and if there's not enough ball time, she's in full panic mode. And she lets you know. She goes to the door and she'll put her paw on the door. And look at you like, ball, it's ball.

• 1:10:02Speaker 06

  They all know, they all get habituated to things, and you teach them without realizing you're teaching them.

• 1:10:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:07Speaker 06

  And now with this dog, we have her trained, she's trained every day after breakfast, she has a bully stick. And all these things happen, they're all like, we're just a slave to her, like, we have, she has us, we don't have a dog. This dog...

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  She has humans.

• 1:10:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, and she's so sweet that we just are helpless.

• 1:10:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but it's, that's the, it, it makes you feel like a, uh, it makes you feel real feelings more.

• 1:10:30Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Andrew Santino?

  Like I do throughout the day. Like if she's annoyed that we're leaving, I'm always like, I'm, I am sorry. Like, I will apologize to her.

• 1:10:36Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:10:37Andrew Santino?

  Cause she can tell, it's like, I'm leaving, you're leaving again. Suitcases will fuck you up. Suitcases are probably my saddest, cause when I roll out for the weekend to go on tour.

• 1:10:43Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:10:44Andrew Santino?

  Dude, every fucking time.

• 1:10:45Speaker 06

  She knows.

• 1:10:46Andrew Santino?

  She gets pissed off. She sees me go to the closet, and then she'll see me pull out the fucking suitcase, and then... One of those breaths, you know?

• 1:10:53Speaker 06

  Oh my god, the breath.

• 1:10:54Andrew Santino?

  And then she goes and sits by the, the bench on the front door and I know, and I, cause she'll, and she'll pout until I leave and then she'll look out the window like, yeah, fucking go, fine.

• 1:11:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, they get really sad.

• 1:11:04Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, because you leaving for a weekend is a year in their minds. Like, wow, so he's gone again? He's gotta go hu- he's gotta go, he's gotta go west?

• 1:11:13Speaker 06

  Gotta go see other dogs?

• 1:11:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Who'd you see while you were gone? What kind of dogs did you see while you were gone? And they, when she sniffs my shirt, like when I come home and

• 1:11:22Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 1:11:23Andrew Santino?

  She goes here, she like gives the paneling to find out, was there another dog anywhere near this person? It's so funny, the way they investigate you when you come back, like what uh?

• 1:11:32Speaker 06

  I love that shit.

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  Where did you go, huh? Yeah.

• 1:11:35Speaker 06

  But I'm like, I'm, I'm going out to, I'm going to make money for your food.

• 1:11:39Andrew Santino?

  And they're like?

• 1:11:39Speaker 06

  Your expensive ass food. Dog food's changed now.

• 1:11:42Andrew Santino?

  Do you do the fancy dog food?

• 1:11:44Speaker 06

  Cause our last dog died at ten.

• 1:11:46Andrew Santino?

  Ten's pretty young. What kind of dog though?

• 1:11:48Speaker 06

  It was a big German shepherd mutt.

• 1:11:51Andrew Santino?

  Cause German shepherds live a long time, right?

• 1:11:52Speaker 06

  I mean, they live longer than ten, but she was eighty-five pounds, she was a huge dog.

• 1:11:56Andrew Santino?

  That's a big dog.

• 1:11:57Speaker 06

  A mean dog.

• 1:11:58Andrew Santino?

  Angry.

• 1:11:59Speaker 06

  Super, didn't like, she liked six people. If you want, only six people.

• 1:12:02Andrew Santino?

  Your wife?

• 1:12:03Speaker 06

  Her family.

• 1:12:04Andrew Santino?

  Her family.

• 1:12:05Speaker 06

  And even then, it was like, you know, she just was, she was very smart, but she was not a friendly dog and

• 1:12:12Andrew Santino?

  To strangers.

• 1:12:12Speaker 06

  To strangers, other dogs.

• 1:12:14Andrew Santino?

  If I come over to the house, she's like, fuck this guy.

• 1:12:15Speaker 06

  We wouldn't even have you meet her, we'd put her away.

• 1:12:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh, really?

• 1:12:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, we had to, cause it's just not, it's just not chill, it's not fun to, when you have an eighty-five pound dog with light eyes, it, she's probably a, a tenth wolf for all we know.

• 1:12:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a lot of wolf in there.

• 1:12:31Speaker 06

  Got it from fucking the mountains or something like that. So, you know, it's not relaxing for us, unless it's someone who's really, really good with dogs. It's just not, you know, cause if you go like, like that, she's

• 1:12:44Andrew Santino?

  One quick move.

• 1:12:44Speaker 06

  Yeah. And that's not fun, I don't wanna have to be like, managing that, I mean, she was wonderful. I was devastated for a year after she died, but this new one is just, is the total opposite.

• 1:12:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you like it better.

• 1:12:57Speaker 06

  I mean, I like it

• 1:12:58Andrew Santino?

  Other dog knows that, by the way.

• 1:13:00Speaker 06

  I like it different.

• 1:13:00Andrew Santino?

  She, I like it different. When some people does it, I like all my kids the same. I ask every, like, older mom that?

• 1:13:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:13:07Andrew Santino?

  Who do you like? I go, but who do you really? Which one do you really like the most?

• 1:13:09Speaker 06

  I was like, Angela.

• 1:13:13Speaker 06

  She's just so sweet. She never cried. She never cried. She always remembers my birthday.

• 1:13:20Speaker 06

  Angela's got a great job. Now, Michael, Michaels?

• 1:13:24Andrew Santino?

  Michaels?

• 1:13:25Speaker 06

  He's having, he hasn't found his footing.

• 1:13:27Andrew Santino?

  Figuring it out.

• 1:13:27Speaker 06

  He's figuring out, he's out there. He's got a great new job. And this girl he's with, she's really helping a lot. She's, I like her more than him, honestly. And if he fucks it up with this girl, I don't know what I'm gonna do, cuz he's gonna move back with me and I can't, I can't have that. I'm having the time of my life. Ever since Paul died, God rest his soul, I've had a great time. I don't, I don't need a man. I'm a lesbian now and I like it. I wasn't a lesbian before. I liked your dad. We had sex, but I'm, I like women now and I can't have Michael coming back in the house and ruining everything just cuz he can't seek a relationship. So I'm, I give her money.

• 1:14:04Speaker 06

  I give her money cuz I can't have her.

• 1:14:06Andrew Santino?

  This is like every time I go back to the Midwest and I hear stories from parents about, that's like, whenever time I go home, they're like, and you know, Daniel's out of rehab again and we are rooting him on. And he does not go out with us most of the time at night because Stephen will drink and they fight. If we come home, they'll fight. It'll be something Trump, it'll be a Trump thing and that'll start it and it'll never stop it.

• 1:14:29Speaker 06

  Oh, he's back in rehab.

• 1:14:32Speaker 06

  Well, that's good. He's, he's probably better there.

• 1:14:35Andrew Santino?

  That is every time I go home, it's a new story, fight about like someone's kids. Did you hear about, and I'm always like, don't, I don't wanna, please don't. I don't wanna, I don't wanna hear the perils of some poor person's life that like, it didn't go the way that the parents wanted it to go. And they cannot wait to tell you, which I think is fucking really dark.

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  Well, my mom always tells me about people who, I don't, I haven't talked to them and, do you remember like, you know, like Jim Stadutti? Like, who? Like, you know, you know, his dad, he used to run the Ford dealership and now, and I'm like, I don't, what? I don't have any idea what's going on.

• 1:15:07Andrew Santino?

  I don't know who Stadutti was, man.

• 1:15:08Speaker 06

  Who are these people? I don't remember.

• 1:15:09Andrew Santino?

  You remember, and his sister was, his sister had like a bad limp. From meningitis when she was a kid. Do you not remember that? They cut a piece of her leg out.

• 1:15:18Speaker 06

  Oh, um, what? No, no.

• 1:15:19Andrew Santino?

  You don't remember her at all.

• 1:15:21Speaker 06

  That was my, that was a different school, I think, mom?

• 1:15:23Andrew Santino?

  She was a different school. She was supposed to transfer to U and she didn't. She played soccer. Do you remember she was a forward?

• 1:15:30Speaker 06

  She's out in LA now. She wants to get lunch. Would you take her to coffee, please? Please, be nice.

• 1:15:37Speaker 09

  I've had to, dude, I've done that. I've done that a dozen times.

• 1:15:39Speaker 06

  I haven't done it really hardly.

• 1:15:41Speaker 09

  It's done, I haven't done it in years, but when I, when I was out here for the first like 10 years, the amount of phone calls from family, friends, favors. Nah, nah, Andrew, my nephew's gonna be out there, you gonna take him out, aren't you gonna do that? Just a little favor?

• 1:15:52Speaker 06

  That voice, you have to do it.

• 1:15:54Speaker 09

  Yeah, that's a real one, yeah.

• 1:15:55Speaker 06

  Come on now.

• 1:15:55Speaker 09

  Come on, Andrew.

• 1:15:56Speaker 06

  You gotta take, you just gotta let him out there.

• 1:15:58Speaker 09

  That's my dad's friends from North Carolina. Andrew, you gonna take him out, cuz, cuz, you know, uh, DJ, his older brother, he was planning on moving out there, he ain't gonna go, so you gotta take him out, you know that? Take him, show him some, a fun time, do whatever y'all do, man. Y'all west coast weirdos.

• 1:16:13Speaker 06

  Don't, don't, don't tell me about it, I only need to know.

• 1:16:15Speaker 09

  I don't wanna know what y'all do.

• 1:16:16Speaker 06

  I don't need to know y'all getting into.

• 1:16:17Speaker 09

  I don't wanna know what y'all getting into.

• 1:16:18Speaker 06

  I know y'all, I know y'all having fun time out there, man, I know that. I just reached through the fucking phone, touch you on there, I know that. I know, I, I'm not gonna trust you, cuz you're gonna keep an eye on that boy.

• 1:16:28Speaker 09

  You keep an eye on my boy.

• 1:16:29Speaker 06

  You keep an eye on that boy, right?

• 1:16:30Speaker 09

  You take him to the beach, where'd y'all go?

• 1:16:31Speaker 06

  Take, take him to the beach.

• 1:16:32Speaker 09

  You took him to the beach. Y'all were under the, on an umbrella, looking at them ladies, huh?

• 1:16:37Speaker 06

  Oh, I bet there's some good looking girls out on the beach.

• 1:16:39Speaker 09

  Oh my god, are those women out there in west coast? Beauty, girls, lovely.

• 1:16:44Speaker 06

  I can't go to the beach now, I can't even handle it.

• 1:16:46Speaker 09

  I can't go to the beach, sand.

• 1:16:48Speaker 06

  I'm not allowed, but I can't.

• 1:16:49Speaker 09

  Yeah, takes me too long to walk through.

• 1:16:52Speaker 06

  I'll tell you what, sand and me do not get along.

• 1:16:56Speaker 09

  That guy?

• 1:16:57Speaker 06

  I'll tell you, I'll tell you what, me and sand do not get along.

• 1:17:00Speaker 09

  Uh-uh, tried it.

• 1:17:01Speaker 06

  We were at Myrtle Beach for two weeks, I felt like two goddamn years, all that sand. I couldn't get away from it. I think I got, I think I got ODC. I think I got ODC, I gotta get on some Prozac or something to deal with ODC.

• 1:17:14Speaker 09

  And that's cuz of the sand. Y'all, y'all, the way y'all live out there are just different, dude, I don't like it.

• 1:17:18Speaker 06

  Nope, don't like.

• 1:17:19Speaker 09

  But good for y'all for like, have fun.

• 1:17:21Speaker 06

  Have fun, have fun. Don't, no judgment here, I'm with you, sometimes a little bit of judgment.

• 1:17:26Speaker 09

  I like when they ask stuff, that's my favorite is when they're like, how many people, be real, how many trans people, trans people do you see around you, just walking around like they did?

• 1:17:35Speaker 06

  They're everywhere.

• 1:17:35Speaker 09

  They're, I can't get, we can't get rid of them.

• 1:17:37Speaker 06

  We can't get rid of them, they're.

• 1:17:38Speaker 09

  They're everywhere.

• 1:17:38Speaker 06

  Hey, can I go to the bathroom, they're touching my neck.

• 1:17:40Speaker 09

  They're all over, aren't they? I bet they're, they're just rolling around the streets. Do they walk, can they, they walk places or they'll just drive?

• 1:17:46Speaker 06

  Let me ask you this.

• 1:17:48Speaker 09

  Look around, yeah. Tell me something.

• 1:17:52Andrew Santino?

  What do they smell like?

• 1:17:53Speaker 06

  Smell real good, don't they?

• 1:17:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they really good.

• 1:17:56Speaker 06

  I heard that. I'm like, I, I, yeah, I knew, I know.

• 1:17:59Andrew Santino?

  I knew they'd be. I knew they smell good.

• 1:18:01Speaker 06

  I knew they smell good. Yeah, or like, do you, do you have, oh, you have an agent? Oh, my god, wow.

• 1:18:09Speaker 07

  Wow. Can you call him?

• 1:18:11Speaker 06

  Can you call him?

• 1:18:12Speaker 07

  Get on, get on Ellen.

• 1:18:14Speaker 06

  You should go, oh, you should go on Ellen.

• 1:18:16Speaker 07

  You should get on Ellen. Get on Ellen. We like that.

• 1:18:20Speaker 06

  Yup. Uh, you know what? You should do that Marvel movie.

• 1:18:23Speaker 07

  Can you not get in a Marvel movie?

• 1:18:24Speaker 06

  Do a Marvel movie.

• 1:18:25Speaker 07

  Why can't you just get on one of those?

• 1:18:27Speaker 06

  Just do it.

• 1:18:27Speaker 07

  Ooh, you should do Match Game. Do you like, do you like that?

• 1:18:32Andrew Santino?

  Any other summer.

• 1:18:33Speaker 06

  Some of it's like, I probably should, actually.

• 1:18:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. Dude, most of the time they say stuff, I go, well, I'd like to get on it. They don't, I don't think they want me on it.

• 1:18:40Speaker 06

  Probably should do that.

• 1:18:41Andrew Santino?

  I think they don't want me on the show. I've tried to get on the show.

• 1:18:44Speaker 07

  Celebrity Squares, can you not do that? Can your agent not get you on there?

• 1:18:48Speaker 06

  And it's like, how come they don't, how come I'm not doing that?

• 1:18:50Andrew Santino?

  How come I'm not on those fucking shows? You're, what are you talking about? You're a busy boy. You're Mr. Movie. That's what we call you now. Everyone I know say Mr. Movie.

• 1:18:58Speaker 06

  I love that. I wanna be Mr. Movie. I was on tour with my friend Amy a couple of years ago. I think I said out loud, I wanna do more movies and TV.

• 1:19:06Andrew Santino?

  And you are.

• 1:19:07Speaker 06

  But I mean, I like it a lot. I really enjoy it, you know?

• 1:19:09Andrew Santino?

  No, well, you're good at it. Are you touring right now?

• 1:19:12Speaker 06

  Uh, sort of. I'm doing, I'm going to Wisconsin this weekend, then I'll be in, um, uh, Sacramento area.

• 1:19:19Andrew Santino?

  What are you playing in Wisconsin?

• 1:19:20Speaker 06

  I'm, I'm going to this place called Comedy Cabin. I've never been there.

• 1:19:23Andrew Santino?

  Comedy Cabin?

• 1:19:23Speaker 06

  Comedy Cabin in Janesville.

• 1:19:25Andrew Santino?

  Janesville. So you do that, that, and then by the time this comes out, you'll have done a bunch more? No, you're doing Rooster Teeth Feathers?

• 1:19:30Speaker 06

  Yup.

• 1:19:30Andrew Santino?

  Then where else?

• 1:19:31Speaker 06

  And then I'm doing, uh, I have a show in Portland. I'm doing my run-through of my one-man show. I'm taping my special in, in the beginning of the new year.

• 1:19:39Andrew Santino?

  Where are you taping it at?

• 1:19:40Speaker 06

  Uh, in LA.

• 1:19:41Andrew Santino?

  Here?

• 1:19:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:19:42Andrew Santino?

  Here, right here in the studio?

• 1:19:44Speaker 06

  Right here, uh, just beyond that wall. There's a little stairwell that goes down to this beautiful cavern.

• 1:19:49Andrew Santino?

  It's big.

• 1:19:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:19:50Andrew Santino?

  It's big. It's about a fifteen thousand-seater.

• 1:19:52Speaker 06

  It's huge.

• 1:19:52Andrew Santino?

  Where are you shooting it in LA?

• 1:19:53Speaker 06

  Uh, I think I'm gonna do it at the Broadwater, but, um...

• 1:19:56Andrew Santino?

  Where's the Broadwater?

• 1:19:57Speaker 06

  It's in San, Santa Monica. It's a small theater.

• 1:19:59Andrew Santino?

  Broadwater?

• 1:20:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:20:00Andrew Santino?

  I need to know this.

• 1:20:01Speaker 06

  I haven't put out tickets for it just yet.

• 1:20:03Andrew Santino?

  Well, when are you gonna put out the tickets? Because then, when we do...

• 1:20:05Speaker 06

  Probably, uh... God, probably in the next month or so. I mean, it's only, I'm only shooting two nights, or so, two shows, and it's only a hundred seater, so.

• 1:20:15Andrew Santino?

  Black Box Theater, the Broadwater. It's right here in Santa Monica, it's uh, Santa Monica, basically east of Kowanga there.

• 1:20:21Speaker 06

  Right.

• 1:20:21Andrew Santino?

  I know exactly where that is, right on the corner from the Three Clubs.

• 1:20:24Speaker 06

  Cause this is uh.

• 1:20:25Andrew Santino?

  Did they used to do um, uh, power violence there?

• 1:20:28Speaker 06

  No, it's like, right down the street from that though.

• 1:20:30Andrew Santino?

  Right, where the old one was.

• 1:20:31Speaker 06

  Down the street. This is a bigger, bigger space. It's like a maybe a hundred and fifty seater. It's a great theater, cause this, this special is not really like a stand-up special per se.

• 1:20:40Andrew Santino?

  It's a one-man show.

• 1:20:41Speaker 06

  It's a one-man show. It's called Minnesota Reggae Colostomy Bag. It's like all about being from Minnesota, uh, having colostomy bag and being obsessed with reggae. And it's like a lot of like stories and um, yeah, I mean, it's like, I love, I love, been working on it for a long time, and it's finally time to.

• 1:20:58Andrew Santino?

  To put it out.

• 1:20:59Speaker 06

  Put it to tape, and I'm so excited about it, cause it's like, yeah, I've just been wanting to tell the story. I just, I fucking, I love it so much. You know when you do something, how sometimes it's just like a job and you, you did it and it's good. But sometimes you do something and afterwards you just almost feel like this euphoria because it feels so expressive.

• 1:21:19Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:21:20Speaker 06

  Every time I do that show, I always feel just, I don't know, it feels so good to do it because it's not like the stand-up job thing. It's this whole other thing, I, I wrote the whole thing myself and all the, it's very convoluted and has like all these, you know, theatrical lighting changes and stuff and I, if, when I do it, I feel so um.

• 1:21:42Speaker 06

  It's such a, a piece of me. It's so personal, I guess, it's so personal.

• 1:21:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47Speaker 06

  And it, it, it's so cathartic to perform it because it's like this stuff where, you know, it, it's like a lot of heavy stuff, but it's not told in a heavy, it's a comedy show. It's a hundred percent a comedy show.

• 1:21:58Andrew Santino?

  Well, the namesake does give that away.

• 1:22:00Speaker 06

  Right. I mean, also, but I titled that on purpose, cause like if I don't include this, this terrible, shameful, embarrassing piece in the title. I'm gonna find a way to weasel myself out of just doing like, you know, Minnesota accents and shit, you know?

• 1:22:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Speaker 06

  So I have to talk about all this stuff with having a bowel disease and it's, it's super fun and it's like people, uh, respond, especially people who've had any experience with that at all, you know?

• 1:22:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:26Speaker 06

  It's like, it's really cool. Also, I'm, I'm hosting, um, I'm hosting the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation Gala. I think coming up here in October 11th, this is a big fundraiser at Paramount.

• 1:22:36Andrew Santino?

  Paramount, uh, we'll put the link in the description down below, once we get it from you. And once we get your ticket link, we can put that up for the specials, because the special is going to film in the new year.

• 1:22:46Speaker 00

  Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot, designed to keep you connected. Powered by Verizon's 5G network. And no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code HACK. Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for details.

• 1:23:15Andrew Santino?

  The one man show in the new year.

• 1:23:17Speaker 06

  Early new year.

• 1:23:17Andrew Santino?

  And then go see the young man live, an old good friend of ours.

• 1:23:20Speaker 06

  See the young man live.

• 1:23:21Andrew Santino?

  We love him. I always say see him live. I did, I did interview the other day and I said that. I said, I don't give a shit how good a taping is, how good of a special it is. There is literally nothing better than live.

• 1:23:30Speaker 06

  There's nothing better.

• 1:23:31Andrew Santino?

  It's just live comedy, live music, live performance art, whatever that is. I just, I keep kind of nagging this to fans, like, please go see live, please go see live, like. Honestly, because nowadays, everything is free on the fucking internet and it's sitting in the comfort of your own home. And I get that and everyone's like, it's not good enough. Give me more free. Give it, give it, give it. And you're like, we're trying, we're trying, but we can't scoop fast enough. So it's like, please just come see us live when we do go. It's the only thing I think I care about. I mean that, like, I like doing the taping, I like filming stuff, I like shooting stuff, but I'm always like, there's nothing more fun than when you feel people live. I, it's, to me, the, the thing I'll probably do, that'll be the thing I do the last, in terms of like, if I quit everything else, I'll still tour.

• 1:24:12Speaker 06

  It keeps you alive.

• 1:24:13Andrew Santino?

  I think it's just, it's just something about it is like, seeing the people gets you off a little bit. You're like, oh, look at it, look at it, look at it, they came to the thing. I don't know, I like that.

• 1:24:22Speaker 06

  And if you write a joke on your feet that's new, it's like, what is, like, you know, I'm ready to die now.

• 1:24:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, shoot me now.

• 1:24:28Speaker 06

  Every time you do that, it's like, oh.

• 1:24:29Andrew Santino?

  I want a Birdman after every show and just.

• 1:24:31Speaker 06

  Ultimate, ultimate experience.

• 1:24:33Andrew Santino?

  Well, go see Johnny Pemberton, uh, his website is of course, uh, called, uh, Minnesota Reggae Colostomy Bag is not your website, but it could.

• 1:24:42Speaker 06

  My website is, it's, it's a weird website. It's johnnypemberton dog.

• 1:24:47Andrew Santino?

  JohnnyPemberton dog.

• 1:24:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, someone stole my name and so I'm not gonna pay, I'm not gonna pay for it.

• 1:24:53Andrew Santino?

  What a rare name to steal too. Johnny Pemberton, there's gotta be not a lot of Johnny Pembertons, are there?

• 1:24:57Speaker 06

  I had Johnny Pemberton for a while, JohnnyPemberton.com, but the, uh, the thing lapsed and someone, someone grabbed it.

• 1:25:03Andrew Santino?

  Didn't you pay your Wix bill, huh? Didn't pay your Wix bill, baby?

• 1:25:06Speaker 06

  My wife didn't pay it.

• 1:25:08Andrew Santino?

  Oh, don't, yeah, don't, don't involve me in your-

• 1:25:10Speaker 06

  No, it's fine. I like dog dog better. I like you better.

• 1:25:12Andrew Santino?

  It is better.

• 1:25:13Speaker 06

  It is better.

• 1:25:13Andrew Santino?

  JohnnyPemberton dog, go see him. We'll put up tickets when he can. Uh, give us the link. They'll be in the description below.

• 1:25:19Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:25:19Andrew Santino?

  Finally. Johnny, we end this show the same way. You look into that camera, you say one word or one phrase whenever you're ready.

• 1:25:25Speaker 06

  Scotchgard.

• 1:25:27Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:25:32Speaker 04

  You're that creature in the ginger beard.

• 1:25:35Speaker 05

  It's sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a puget. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, seventy-five dollars for the horse. Ginger's, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.