Drew Lynch

America’s Got Talent alum and stand-up phenom Drew Lynch sits down with Andrew Santino for a fast, funny deep-dive into craft, confidence, and turning a speech block into a superpower. We talk finding your timing, marriage material (literally), bombing with grace, and how Drew shaped his new hour THE STUTTERING COMEDIAN. Watch the special free on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3fzRcHgHfs — then drop your favorite bit in the comments. If you’ve ever tried to turn chaos into clarity, this one’s for you. We get into writing reps, crowd-work instincts, touring discipline, and how to keep your voice (and your joy) when the room gets loud. Clip it, share it, and send it to the friend who needs a laugh today. 🍊 FOLLOW DREW LYNCH: Website: https://drewlynch.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDrewLynch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedrewlynch/ FOLLOW SANTINO: Instagram: @cheetosantino TikTok: @cheetosantino #WhiskeyGinger #DrewLynch #TheStutteringComedian #AndrewSantino #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #YouTubeSpecial #AGT #StutteringComedian #ComedyClips #podcastclips ========================================================= Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS ZOCDOC BOOK LOCAL DOCTORS! https://zocdoc.com/whiskey HIMS 100% ONLINE TREATMENT! https://hims.com/whiskey BETTER HELP GET 10% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH https://betterhelp.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones. Like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then, sometimes you make great ones. Like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 0:50Speaker 03

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard! Sturdy, ginger.

• 0:54Speaker 04

  Like Vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the whore.

• 1:01Speaker 03

  Ginger's, oh hell no.

• 1:02Speaker 05

  This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:08Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. They say that problem, I guess, but I mean, once again, today, it's the return of Drew Lynch.

• 1:18Andrew Santino?

  His special's out right now on YouTube. It's called "The Stuttering Comedian." Very appropriate, although you don't stutter anymore.

• 1:24Speaker 07

  I know. I was trying to get it, I was trying to get it going in the car.

• 1:27Andrew Santino?

  Bring it back, dude.

• 1:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, I was trying to do it in the car. I was like, the last time that we did the pod, um, you know, we talked quite a bit about like how it's just not real and it's, it's, it's, you know, it's been a thing that I have to like keep up for all these years and...

• 1:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a good ruse.

• 1:41Speaker 07

  And so I wanted to come, yeah, I wanted to come back on the pod and be like, listen, I know that that clip went crazy, but for all the right reasons, everybody's right. It just, I've been putting it on, um, and, uh, and I, I won't give up on it.

• 1:54Andrew Santino?

  I think you should keep it, dude.

• 1:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:56Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean? It's like, uh, your stutter...

• 2:00Andrew Santino?

  Your stutter is as real as Theo's accent. How about that? Is it real? That, it's the best que- no, I know it's real, but that's the funniest part. Somebody said, who said that joke? Somebody goes, I, somebody goes, how long have you known Theo? He goes, I know Theo before he had an accent. That was, I don't know who it was.

• 2:16Speaker 07

  I don't know how Theo ended up, like, he's like, he's gotten just, like, so, like, he's always been so prolific and just so, like, you know, he just-

• 2:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I fucking love him, man. He's the best.

• 2:27Speaker 07

  I mean, it's crazy to, like, he's just so funny, and he just, like, tapped into just this, this weird part of his brain, yeah, this weird part of his brain that just goes-

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  Well, cause he is the southern guy with an accent, but he tapped into a character that embodied deeper the version of, of his, yeah, of his brain, of this, like, little fantasy person that lives in his head. So he gets to be that guy whenever he wants. It's amazing.

• 2:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 2:50Andrew Santino?

  It's like the greatest comedy, it's kinda like Dan, Dan Whitney, that Larry the Cable guy? Like, Dan talk, you know, Dan's like a, Dan's a regular cat, but he tapped into this character that obviously is partial, partial from his life and his world, and then just kinda brewed something real. This all being said, and both these guys are great guys, great comics, but your stutter's fake. It all wraps around to it just never was real. Or like Dice? Like, like Dice, yeah, Dice-

• 3:20Speaker 07

  I'm just like Dice.

• 3:21Andrew Santino?

  You're like Dice, yeah, you're just like Dice. You put it on. That's why, my favorite thing about Dice was, like, learning he's this, when I was a kid, learning he's just like this, you know, this Jewish kid from Brooklyn? Who, who, like, just tapped into this, like, New York, Italian, but they just kinda bought it. He didn't really even, like, tell anybody, he didn't go around saying he's like, he's Italian, New Yorker, but it kinda just, like, it, like, took its own legs.

• 3:48Speaker 07

  You, you would've, I would've, I'd learned just so much about, about Dice Clay just now. Like, I had no idea that that he was, no, I had no idea he was any of those things.

• 3:55Andrew Santino?

  Jewish kid from Brooklyn, yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 07

  No.

• 3:57Andrew Santino?

  But, but, but he's, he's probably the original that embodied a character like that, and, and it's sold in a way that almost no one else has ever done. I mean, now people are doing it to his level, but he was the first guy to do arenas. I mean, he was the guy. He was the first guy to do Madison Square Garden.

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Madison Square Garden, I mean, that's insane.

• 4:14Speaker 07

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  Which you've done six times? How many times have you done the Garden? Well, you sell great tickets, though, man. You do great on the road, man. You really do. Every time I see, you're playing bigger and bigger venues, and I've watched you over the years, you know, sometimes we, Two Ships in the Night, we, we pass at the Improv.

• 4:30Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes the store, but mostly the improv.

• 4:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 4:32Andrew Santino?

  And, uh, always doing new shit, always killing dude. So I know the special's good.

• 4:38Speaker 07

  Thanks, yeah. I just wanted it to be like, I just, it's been something like over the years where it's just like, where's the stutter? What happened to it? Like, how has it come to be what it is now? And I just wanted it, like, I just wanted to put it all in one place where everybody can just go and see what it is that I have to say about it? And then just move on, because it's something that like, I just don't care about it any, like, I don't care, like, it's hard to be like, oh, this is such a big part of my identity, but I'm not gonna honor, I'm not gonna not honor what it is that I'm, I am right now. And if the person I am right now is like, somebody who has gotten so much better with my speech and all that shit, like, you know, like, who am I to, like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna put something on that's not honest, you know?

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, well, it was not, you never did. I mean, you had, when it, when you had it, it was because you had it, and you had to get rid of it, and you got rid of it, and now you don't have it anymore.

• 5:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean.

• 5:28Andrew Santino?

  And nobody cares. You're a joke writer, you know, I mean, that doesn't, I don't think that makes up who you are. I think that, that gained a lot of popularity for you, maybe it helped people recognize who you were.

• 5:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 5:36Andrew Santino?

  But that's like anything else.

• 5:37Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's like, I mean, I mean, how, I mean, how do you feel about like, like, I don't know, how, like, there's something so, uh, weird about like, being on stage now? And feeling like, uh, I don't know, it's just, it's not, it's, it's something that I'm like, like, it's so vulnerable to try to be like, oh, this is my actual, like, this is my actual voice that I am able to get through without getting stuck. And even I am recognizing it as something that's like,

• 6:06Speaker 07

  like, it's, it's so foreign, like, hearing, hearing, hearing myself talk sometimes, I get really self-conscious when somebody points out that it's going good, and I'm like, oh, fuck, like, uh, fucking, I wasn't thinking about anything in my mind about how well I was speaking, I was just in the moment. And I feel like that's what stand-up is like. Like, stand-up is supposed to be like, but it just completely throws me out when I feel like I'm getting, I'm getting, like, uh, like, judged for it, or criticized for it, or anything like that, so. I wanted to put it all in a special where it was just like, this is all the shit that it made me feel, you know?

• 6:36Andrew Santino?

  Where'd you do it?

• 6:37Speaker 07

  I just did it on YouTube.

• 6:38Andrew Santino?

  No, no, where'd you film it?

• 6:39Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, I filmed it at the, uh, the Den Theater in Chicago.

• 6:42Andrew Santino?

  Ah, Chicago, my home.

• 6:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 6:44Andrew Santino?

  I've never played the Den. People love it. People talk about it. I wanna go there, but I've never been.

• 6:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's a beautiful venue. Um, how do you feel about going home? Like, when people see you from your family that are put, like, in your...

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  Where are you from?

• 6:54Speaker 07

  I'm from Indiana, and...

• 6:55Andrew Santino?

  Indianapolis?

• 6:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  When you go home, how do you feel?

• 6:57Speaker 07

  I hate it.

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  It's the same?

• 6:59Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 6:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. No, it's not. I, I love going home, cuz I love Chicago. I'm going there tomorrow morning.

• 7:04Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  I love Chicago.

• 7:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:05Andrew Santino?

  Cuz I get to see people, my family, and people that I haven't seen in a long time, and that I love.

• 7:10Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 7:10Andrew Santino?

  But you're putting on, it's, you're hosting a fucking wedding.

• 7:14Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  It's just like host, it's, it's like a wedding party.

• 7:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:16Andrew Santino?

  Catering, and, and friends backstage, and this guy's bringing six people, and, you know, she's got her boyfriend's buddies, and da-da-da-da, and then her husband's nephew's son... Fine, but it's like extended, extended, extended, extended family. By the time the after-party is locked, it's 150 people. It's like I fed a wedding.

• 7:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  Party. So, that's my only bummer, is like, you wanna like, say hi to everyone, you do right by everybody, but the anxiety of performing at home, um, is hard. I mean, I love it, cuz I get to play at Chicago Theater every year, and that's my favorite venue. I mean, I, that's, it was always a dream, and now I play it once a year.

• 7:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:52Andrew Santino?

  And I love it, um, but it's hard, because you are thinking all, all the time about, you know, you're trying to, not while you're on stage. It's not that. It's everything about, uh, before and after.

• 8:03Speaker 07

  Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

• 8:04Andrew Santino?

  It's the getting together with people, and good, can you have dinner with us before, and where are you gonna be the next two days? That's what's really hard.

• 8:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  You know, so when I go to like, you know, Albany, it's great. I don't fucking know anybody, you know what I mean?

• 8:15Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:15Andrew Santino?

  I'm free. I don't have to think about it.

• 8:16Speaker 07

  It's so impersonal.

• 8:17Andrew Santino?

  Go, go perform, and fart around a town that I'm foreign to. That's my favorite.

• 8:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  You know?

• 8:23Speaker 07

  Do you ever get to where people are asking you to be funny offstage, and you're...

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  No, I think people, yeah, no, not anymore. Like, your friends and family, that thing?

• 8:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  You'll get like, a, like a guy that my dad worked, you, used to work with, that's like, "You're not that funny when you're not up there," you know, and you're like, "All right, Tim, take it, take off, man, get a drink," you know? I just get, I just don't entertain it anymore. When I was young, right, when we were in our, our twenties, it was hard for me, because you haven't accomplished anything, you haven't done any, you haven't even put any, together 20 minutes. And so that used to bother me because I had nothing to show for it.

• 8:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:58Andrew Santino?

  So it would eat me alive because it was almost like an ego check and also I had nothing to prove. So, you know, it hurt. It was a bummer when people are like, what do you, so what's this thing you got going on?

• 9:07Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:08Andrew Santino?

  It's because it's so easy for stand-up for someone to go, uh, you know, you're out there trying to, uh, Drew, you're out there doing that, you're doing that thing? I haven't seen you in stuff. What do you do? You don't have a thing yet though?

• 9:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:20Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, no, man, I'm fucking building towards it.

• 9:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:22Andrew Santino?

  It's like a, you know.

• 9:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:24Andrew Santino?

  It is crazy the way that, you know, I talk to, you know, the way I talk to like pro athletes. Like if I meet a pro athlete and they're 29 or 32 years old, like in that realm. And they all say the same thing. They're all like, I'm pretty tired because they've been playing since they were 14 years old.

• 9:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:42Andrew Santino?

  And they've done this game of entertain, see the people, go to a new city, do the thing, work hard, do the thing, get a thing in the offseason and do the, and it's never stopping. And I think people don't get it that we don't, we didn't stop, we never stopped. It never.

• 9:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:56Andrew Santino?

  So it's kind of the same thing is when they say that to me, when a 33-year-old goes, I'm thinking about retiring. And people go, uh, what? You're like, dude, they've been doing it since they were a kid.

• 10:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  And same thing. I mean, I started at 21 years old, 20 years old, so I'm 42, like it's, it gets tiring.

• 10:13Speaker 07

  Oh, it's so tiring.

• 10:14Andrew Santino?

  It's fucking hard. I mean, not like Cry Me a River. It's amazing.

• 10:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:17Andrew Santino?

  But it's just, I think people don't get it that you're like, no, I don't, I don't have a, I didn't get a break, like break like people, normal people usually get. And I'm not saying boo hoo, but I think people don't recognize it so they don't care.

• 10:29Speaker 07

  Yeah, sure.

• 10:30Andrew Santino?

  That's why they're like, what do you got? Well, how come you're not doing, you're not doing any more movies now? You're like, no, dude, I don't know. I'm trying.

• 10:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:36Andrew Santino?

  All the time, all the time constantly to do something.

• 10:38Speaker 07

  What, do you think I'm not trying to do what I said I'm doing? Yeah.

• 10:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I'm actively not trying to get stuff? No, I'm trying, man.

• 10:45Speaker 07

  Yeah. And it's harder, it's, it's, I don't want to say it's harder, but it's just, it's different because with. Like an athlete, like athletes are just, they are training like so hard and like comics that are trying to make it, I feel like they're training so hard. But you're, you, it's hard to like shut off your brain. Like if you're an athlete, you can be like, alright, I go work out and I, I stop my, I stop my body, you know? But you're, as you're, as a comic, you're, it's just your brain going all the time.

• 11:08Andrew Santino?

  All the time.

• 11:08Speaker 07

  All the time.

• 11:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's hard to live with.

• 11:10Speaker 07

  I, and it's like, it's, it's every, it'd be, everything becomes like so saturated in like, in conversation and in what you wanna, what you wanna, like in a, in a, in a relationship or just a regular, like a, like a regular conversation or one where a person you know well, like, you're, you're sifting through it all the time. It's like, I gotta stop that, man. Like, I gotta stop thinking, I gotta stop, stop trying to mine whatever it is to try to use something, cause it's, uh, it'll, it'll just consume you.

• 11:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it'll kill you. Well, does it affect your relationship, like with your wife? Do you, do you get in that moment when you're like, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, and she has to go, hey, hey, hey, dude, dude, dude?

• 11:44Speaker 07

  Sometimes, I mean, I find it to be exa- like, I find it to be exhausting and when a comic comes up to you and is like, what do you think about this? I'm like, ah, fuck, I don't know. Like, I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, I don't wanna use that muscle right now. I don't wanna do it. You know, so it's like, I guess I'm just in that, I'm in that place with my wife where like, like, she and I, we work together.

• 12:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she works with you, right?

• 12:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, she works, we, we work together. And we're like, that's, that's something that is so hard to navigate because it's like, well, what do you think about this? And, and, and she's like, well, I don't know, I think about this. I'm like, well, that's not like, you know, and then it's like, okay, what about for dinner? And like, well, we have to figure out the work thing first and then, you know what I mean? And I think this, we're, we're in, like, we're, we're in couples therapy right now just for this. Like, we have a great relationship. It's awesome, it's loving, like, everything's great about our relationship. It's just we're trying to navigate how we work together. You know what I mean? Like, the boundary of how we work together. And it's all my fault, because I'm constantly like, I'm constantly the one who's like, what do you think about this? And she's like, yeah, I mean, like, like, it's, like, what about our wedding? You know what I mean? Like, you know, and I'm like, i- i- it's like, yeah, but it could be funny, cause the, cause we got the right ants coming.

• 12:46Speaker 07

  You know, it's like, it's, it's weird to feel like, like, and, and, and, and, and like, couples therapy is bizarre too, because like, you have a therapist and then she has a therapist and you're like, well, and both of them are like, well, we can, we can do the couples therapy. And you're like, well, I want it to be my therapist. And, and, and, and so it's like, you know, it's like, I don't know, it's just, it's this weird thing that's like, uh, we don't even know why we're really like there. Like, we're there just because it's like, well, I can't turn this off.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. That's my fault. No, it's not your fault. I would, it's not like a blame game thing. I think it's, it's a difficult, um... Yeah, it's your bo- look, it's a blessing and a curse. I mean, you're, you're, you're a great comic, and I think you, you prob- it's a hu- we have a hard time, um, switching to human mode. So a lot of times, I feel like comics, this is something we were to- I think we were talking about it last week. It's, it's interesting to see comics try to be human, or when you run into a comic being a human. Mm-hmm. And you're like, "Look at him trying to be normal." (laughing) You know what I mean? It's a funny, like, that's why when we see each other in public, we get a little weird. When we're like, "Whoa, what the fuck? What are you doing at a grocery store? You're not supposed to be here." And fans treat you like that, too. They're like, "Dude, what are you doing here? You eat fucking food?"

• 13:58Andrew Santino?

  And you're like, "Yeah, dude, I'm just trying to be a human." Because I think in our brain, you spent so many years trying to work as a comic, be a comic, live as a comic, produce stuff and put stuff out, that sometimes you do forget to be human. And I think it, it really is hard to do normal, regular, boring shit, which I still try to do as much as I can, 'cause, I don't know, it keeps you a little connected. Yeah. You know? I still like to get lost. I still wanna go somewhere and not ask for directions and then figure it out. I still like to stumble into a bad restaurant. We ate the worst Chinese food I've ever had in Dublin. It was funny as fuck. My wife was like, "Let's try a different..." 'Cause the hotel had nice restaurants, there was nice restaurants, uh, and I said, "Let's try something like, wrong." Mm-hmm.

• 14:42Andrew Santino?

  And she looked up, she's like, "You wanna do Chinese in, in Ireland?" And I was like, "Hell, absolutely." And it was atrocious. (laughing) But it was great. We had that, that we had a, a nice, normal, yeah, you fucked up experience. We could've had the easy, just eat at the hotel, and the hum-dum life of like, hotel, road. Yeah. Airplane, flight, you know, like, the normal that we always do. Yeah. And I was like, "No, let's just go, uh, venture out to a shitty place and see if it sucks. And if it's good, it'll be like, what a find. And if it's shit, it'll be a funny story." And it was. We got into this thing where, we, dude, I don't know if you do this. But it's just maybe it's manners, maybe it's Midwest thing. But we lied to the woman because the food was so fucking bad that we were like, we both looked at each other and she was like, "Do you want to just go?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

• 15:24Andrew Santino?

  And then so when she came back, we go, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. We have a meeting. We have a thing. We forgot. Can I pay you and we can bag this up and go?" It's like, I didn't need to lie to her. I could have just said, "I want to leave."

• 15:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:35Andrew Santino?

  But I did it because I was like, I'm so embarrassed that I don't want her to be like, "You don't like it?" And then have to do this game of like, "No, we thought we loved it."

• 15:46Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones. Like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then, sometimes you make great ones. Like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 16:30Speaker 07

  I completely, I completely empathize with it.

• 16:34Andrew Santino?

  We wussed out, man.

• 16:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, I do the same thing all the time. I mean, it's like, when you wa- we ever watched somebody who can just like say something like,

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  Glassman. Glassman's the best example. He can just be like, "I don't want to be here anymore," and then leave. And I'm like, "That's amazing." That's amazing. If we were all autistic. Like, he could just do it and everybody goes, "Yeah, he's, yeah, he's gonna leave."

• 16:52Speaker 07

  It's the best.

• 16:53Andrew Santino?

  I get so nervous about it. I don't want, I don't want people to feel bad or someone to go, "What was that about?"

• 16:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:58Andrew Santino?

  I just don't want that thing, you know, of the, I don't know, and who ca- I'm never gonna see this woman again.

• 17:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, I know. In your mind, you know. In your mind, you know it'll never, it'll never, it's not gonna actually, and, but somehow, like even if you do do that, you feel bad. I still feel bad. Like, I'll still feel bad afterwards. Like, even if I know I'll never see them again. And with my luck, I'll fucking see them again. I will. She'll be at the show. You know what I mean? It's like, that's that, you know, or whatever, like, it's just-

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  "You didn't like my food."

• 17:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 17:27Andrew Santino?

  You're like, "No, no, no, ma'am, that's not, that's the, that's the, uh, the pilot episode in Seinfeld, right? Doesn't, don't they say that the flight attendant said the pilots are coming to the show? Wasn't that an episode, right? Where I think, I thought the flight attendant said to Jerry- Oh, the pilots are gonna come to the show. And he sees them and it like zeroes in on them and he can't stop thinking about them the whole show. Isn't that what it was? And then you see it, it'll happen and you're like, this is the perfect storm of like, I thought I'd never see you again and of course I fucking, the front row.

• 17:57Speaker 07

  The exact amount of anxiety that like, that gets me to not watch that show.

• 18:01Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's the life that we live.

• 18:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly. I mean, and, and like, like the, like the, the, that amount of like, that amount of anxiety of, of just trying to... Like, I like, like, how can I be so not honest offstage, but then onstage, like onstage I can be a million percent honest. But, but offstage, I'm always like trying to like, ah, and I have to like, I have to consider people's like feelings and how it goes. And then onstage, it's not that at all. I don't, I don't, I've never been able to understand it. Maybe it's just because I'm introverted, maybe it's because I'm weird. I, I have no idea.

• 18:40Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's just not your nature.

• 18:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, I just, yeah, I can't, like, this whole, like, human thing, I can't fucking do it well.

• 18:46Andrew Santino?

  Nah, you're doing fine.

• 18:47Speaker 07

  Thanks.

• 18:48Andrew Santino?

  You're doing fine.

• 18:48Speaker 07

  Thanks.

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  I think everyone's trying. He had a moment the other day, I'm gonna embarrass him right now. McCone dropped off one of our guests at dinner. And he said to one of the guests on the show, he was like, because I was, I went to do a show. And he said to our guest, he said, uh, would you like some company? Like to go eat together? Because they were both, he was alone. And he must have not heard him. So, he didn't respond and he just sat there quietly, but he wanted to go eat at the place. So he waited till my buddy was done eating.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  I waited like two hours.

• 19:15Andrew Santino?

  Two hours, and then he went nay by himself.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  But right as I walked in, he was leaving, he was like, oh hey, what are you doing here? And I was like, hey.

• 19:22Andrew Santino?

  But see, this is what I mean, all humans are having this experience at all levels. It just, we're all trying to figure it out, man. I think that's, I think we're all trying to figure it out. Nobody really knows what they're doing. Even the guy that thinks he knows what he's doing or pretend, puts it on. No one really knows. We're all kind of fledging to the thing. I think the older I get and the more I see older comics that I love and respect. Or people that I was afraid of or whatever, and I really get to like start to know them, I was like, oh, they're just as uncomfortable and awkward and insecure and in their head. As all of us. And I mean us being, because comics are the worst of all these things. The most insecure, the most egomaniacal, the most, you know, the most absolute stunted growth, because everyone in their mind still is when they started. And it's hard to get out of that. And I think, once you get comfortable knowing, we're all in that.

• 20:07Andrew Santino?

  Like, the amount of times I've DM'd someone and been like, "Hey, was it weird last night? Did I say, did I exit on a weird note? I'm sorry about that."

• 20:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:15Andrew Santino?

  And they're like, "What are you talking about?"

• 20:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:17Andrew Santino?

  And they never noticed it. You only notice it. I think because people don't care as much as we think they do.

• 20:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:23Andrew Santino?

  They do. What's that old phrase? It's like, um, uh, uh...

• 20:29Andrew Santino?

  Oh, what is it? Like...

• 20:32Andrew Santino?

  It's something to the effect of like, I prom- not like, "I promise they're not thinking about you." Like, no one is really thinking about you.

• 20:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:38Andrew Santino?

  Like, it sounds awful dismal. But they're really not. No one is thinking about you at all.

• 20:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:43Andrew Santino?

  You exist in their space, but they're not thinking about you.

• 20:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:45Andrew Santino?

  It doesn't matter.

• 20:46Speaker 07

  Which is also sad.

• 20:47Andrew Santino?

  It is, but it's kind of relieving. It's like, fine, who cares? Everyone's doing their own thing. You just kind of float through this bullshit and do your own thing and figure it out your way, and if it makes you happy, it's good. And you try not to step on toes and piss anybody off, but you're gonna. Someone's gonna get upset at you.

• 21:01Speaker 07

  Well, what's the thing, what's the thing that you've, like, learned? Like, what's the thing that, like, changed your perspective? When you were like, "All right, I'm young, and now I'm older, and this is something that I very much understand, and I subscribe to it every day because of that experience."

• 21:13Andrew Santino?

  That's good. I think like, um...

• 21:17Andrew Santino?

  I think when someone gets sick in your family or dies, uh... You start to give a little bit less of a fuck about everyone else's bullshit and opinions. And when someone you love leaves, whether it's a relationship, or somebody dies, or someone you love gets cancer, or someone you know or love is gone, or something bad happens, uh, I think life becomes a little bit... I don't know. I think the mo- if I can give you the exact moment in my life where I started to like, re- rejigger my perspective? Sorry, rejigger.

• 21:50Speaker 07

  Jigger, yeah.

• 21:51Andrew Santino?

  Sorry about that. Uh, I know, I caught it. I got, uh, I was having these ocular migraines in college, and I started to, um, lose my vision in my right eye. So I would go like, temporarily blind. It's a precursor to migraines.

• 22:04Speaker 07

  Oh, wow.

• 22:04Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of crazy. It's pretty rare. Not a lot of people get it. But, um, I got a million tests, and I went through the, and I thought I was dying, and I thought I had cancer, but who knows, right? And when I started to go get help and work through this, um...

• 22:21Andrew Santino?

  I started to see things, kind of how like Ozzy Osbourne, rest in peace, he used to say that before the Beatles, music, life was in black and white, and then after the Beatles, it was in color. And I thought that was a great, what he was saying was like, he saw more, like, he just saw more opportu- like, more angles, more opportunity, like, more things kinda started to arise. And when I started to get help for that, I noticed, one time, going down the stairs of my buddy's condo, on the bottom was a, um, uh, like a handmade, uh, piece on the bottom floor in the tile, and it was, uh, what is it called, and it's a bunch of little tiles, what is that called?

• 22:57Speaker 07

  Mosaic?

• 22:57Andrew Santino?

  Mosaic, yeah. And it was like a mosaic piece. And I had lived in that place for two years, and I never noticed it. And I noticed it, it was crazy. And I think it almost pu- it re-set my brain to stop being so inside of myself, and thinking like, you know, "I'm done, this is gonna ruin my life, I'm gonna have oculars forever, I'm gonna go blind, I'm gonna have crazy anxiety, I'm gonna have panic attacks in public." Cause I used to have to just leave, I'd just leave places. Or I'd drop friends off, and I wouldn't see them for two days, you know? Like, I'd drive them to the bar, and then I wouldn't talk to anybody for a day or two. Cause I was just having crazy panic, and it just, cause I was like, I kept losing my vision, and so, this would spiral me out, and once I started to get help for it, it kinda just, a lot of stuff washed away, in my mind.

• 23:42Andrew Santino?

  And then it gave me confidence to really start doing stand-up. When I was in college. It kinda was part of the trigger for me to just get my balls together and go do it.

• 23:50Speaker 07

  Oh, wow.

• 23:51Andrew Santino?

  Crazy.

• 23:51Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:51Andrew Santino?

  It was kind of, they were pretty closely related. I knew I wanted to, but I just was so over it. I tried a few, like, cafe mics, and then bailed. I bailed multiple times.

• 24:01Speaker 07

  Wow, so you, so it was just like, you what, you saw the mosaic, and you were just unfamiliar with the, the space, or you saw it in a different way?

• 24:10Andrew Santino?

  I just saw it for the first time. Like, you know how you pass through life a lot of times, and you just don't really see things, and you live with it, every day? And I kinda saw it. I don't know, I guess I just kinda like saw it for the first time and I I'll never forget the images burned into my mind. It was like a sun, it was like a, it was like a, you know, an abstract sun. But it was just, I don't know, something so simple. I guess I had saw it for the first time because I was clear brained because you're kind of just flying through life most days. I mean, I bet you you don't see most of the shit that's in your house and you forget that it's there or a thing that it just exists. Shit exists. Like I just started to notice that thing was I left on the front door and I guess it maybe triggered something in my mind of like oh, it's all good. I gotta get out of my own way. Like

• 24:53Andrew Santino?

  I was so deep in my brain about everything. And it helped me in the world of like performing and just getting over it. Just being like, it's okay. It doesn't matter. I'm not saying that's the literal reason I did stand up, but it was just a thing that helped me stop having so much anxiety, stress, depression, and then the migraines. Like everything was layered. It felt like one thing started and it just was like it didn't stop.

• 25:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:17Andrew Santino?

  And then once I got help, it stopped, you know, once I actually like went to therapy and went to a coun- went to counseling and then started to like change the way my, I was living my life. It just helped.

• 25:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, I mean, that's really young, too. I mean, you said in college?

• 25:30Andrew Santino?

  I was 22 years old. Yeah, it was my last, it was my last year in school, 21, 22 years old. My senior year in college. I had gotten back from being in Europe, completely lost. Like I remember thinking all my friends had jobs lined up or like they had careers. And this was like the final call was like, hey, are you gonna, are you gonna bartend when everyone leaves school? And I was like, who cares? And then I was like, oh shit, should I care? Like I didn't think about it. I just was like, oh yeah, I was just gonna try stand up. People like, oh no, you can't stay, you can't stay here in Arizona. And I just didn't, that kind of started to trigger this panic where I was like, fuck, am I gonna actually move and try stand up or am I just gonna stay here? So it was heavy on my shoulders.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 26:15Andrew Santino?

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• 26:59Andrew Santino?

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• 27:43Andrew Santino?

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• 28:25Andrew Santino?

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• 28:44Speaker 07

  Were you always somebody who like considered how you thought first or how somebody else thought first?

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

  I was always worried about what everybody thought.

• 28:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:51Andrew Santino?

  All the time. I'm still, we're still all worried about what everybody thinks. I mean, it's just the, because you're like, "I really want to appease everybody, but I still want to show them that I can do this thing."

• 28:59Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:59Andrew Santino?

  You know what I mean?

• 29:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  But it's so contradictory because you're like, "Just do your way. Just be as nice to people as you can. Do your own, do your own thing." And then, yeah, then you reach an age. How old are you now?

• 29:09Speaker 07

  I'm already 33.

• 29:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, 33. I mean, yeah, fucking dude, I'm, be 42 this year. It's like you reach a certain point and you're like, "I'm done. I don't care." I think it, I had little moments that started to help, but I think 40, I just was like, I think I looked, I told this the other night at the Ice House. I think when you look, when you get out of the shower as a man and you look at your little wet penis. You look at your little wet penis in the mirror. Honestly, dude, it happens. A thing will happen. You look, you're skinny, dude. You're young. You're 25. That's different. When you get out of the, you'll get out and you'll look at your, you see your little tiny gross penis in the shower and it's wet and you haven't dried off yet. And you're like a wet little dog and your drippy hair. It just levels you. You're like, everyone has a little wet penis. Everybody has this.

• 29:53Andrew Santino?

  I did that bit at the improv the other day because, I mean, at the Ice House, because I thought, how true it is. This is the, Brad Pitt has a little wet penis when he gets out of the shower. He's not that hot, dude. He's hot in the world, but at home, the most vulnerable when you're, when you're right off the toilet. If we, we all should have a mirror facing us on the toilet. We all look hideous. Like, have you ever been in a hotel and you've seen yourself on the toilet mirror? It's disgusting. It's fucking repulsive. It's hunched over. It's archaic. You feel very like Neanderthal-y and just poop. You're poo, I sit, I poop on phone. And that image is like, yeah, you're all a vulnerable, gross, weird, no one's that cool. No one's that hot. No one's that cool.

• 30:36Andrew Santino?

  We're all the same. We're really all the same. We're just varying levels of confidence with our bullshit.

• 30:41Speaker 07

  Oh, man.

• 30:42Andrew Santino?

  Look at your little wet penis when you get out of the shower. I'm serious. Before you dry off, get out of the shower, look in a mirror. And look at your wet hair stuck to your face and it's dripping down and your little penis just snuggled in your balls. No one has a cool dick out of the shower. It's impossible, dude. It's impossible. And so I think when you start seeing that in your 30s and on, you start to go, "Who gives a fuck, dude?"

• 31:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:07Andrew Santino?

  Like, I remember being young, being afraid of... Being naked at the gym. And you know how you see guy, old men now with their old balls just hanging out now and their flabby ass? I'm there. I'm naked at my, when I go to my gym and shower, I couldn't care less. If a young guy's like, "Whoa dude, look at your little weener," I don't care at all. I don't fucking, who cares? Tell everyone about it. What do I give a shit, dude? It's over. It's done. We're done. Like, I used to have a bit about, do you really think, you know how they have to like, cut people's clothes off, paramedics sometimes? Do you really think the paramedics have a comment about your penis? Or like the, or the mortician?

• 31:44Speaker 07

  I do. I think they would, yeah. May I'm just so vain that I'm like, that's...

• 31:49Andrew Santino?

  They don't care.

• 31:49Speaker 07

  Like, I ho, like, I'm so worried that if, in whatever position I am, end, end up in cardiac, I hope that I'm, I hope that I'm covering.

• 31:56Andrew Santino?

  Covered?

• 31:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  I used to say, I had a, I did a bit at Montreal years ago about, and it didn't even do great, about, I pray I die with clothes on. Like, I just don't want to die naked. You know, like, the people that slip in a shower and they hit their head and they're like, it's just like water running on your naked, dead body. It just got me so, the image makes me so sad. Like, you know, like a, a, like a buddy, I lost a buddy, you know, who was a great dude and he died in the tub. And, you know, it was awful and atrocious, it fucked us up. And then we started, then your friends, you start to make jokes about it because it's only natural. And we made jokes about that, you know what I mean? It was like, do you think he had anything in the tub with him? Like, was it candlelit? You know, did he have like a rubber ducky in there?

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  You know, it's like that kind of, like, you, yeah, I, I had a, I had a joke about it because it was so dark and real that I was like, oh, dying naked is so wild. But for no minute, does anyone think in that profession, "Well, look at his dick." Nobody does that. Unless it's huge. And then they go back to the station, they're like, "Dude, this is insane." This guy was a horse. He died as a horse.

• 32:57Speaker 07

  We had to use it to get him out.

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  We hoisted under his legs, we lifted his legs up. I swear, dude, Timmy was there, he saw the whole thing.

• 33:06Andrew Santino?

  I think that, once you get over those things, I mean, those things get kind of, they fade away. It all fades away.

• 33:10Speaker 07

  I, I, I really, I, I hear what you're saying about like the, you have somebody who is close to you who dies, or who, who You people get sick.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 07

  I'm go- ah, literally, I'm going through it right now. I did, I was, you know, all today, I was like, man, I fucking, I, I love this pod, I res- I respect Santino. Dude, like, I'm, you know, I just came from Vegas, like, I was taking care of a, you know, I have a buddy who's in a re- he's in a rehabilitation facility because he's got, he's got a, he's got a degenerative, like, brain thing. This is my best friend, twenty, twenty-five years or whatever. My dad's got brain cancer and he's got stage four. I went, I literally had to leave my dad, I had to leave my dad in, in Indiana, because I came from Europe, I went right to Indiana to see him, so we can have a Macallan twenty-five with him. Um, because that's what he want, that's what he, that's one, one of the things he wants to do.

• 33:54Speaker 07

  And, so I'm, I leave from Indiana and I have to leave him early, because my, because my friend ends up in the hospital and all this shit just happened very, very quickly, very, like, degenerative, regenerative, degenerative rapidly. And then I go there and it's like, like dude, like, it's just, it just, like, it's so, it sucks sometimes to feel like you have such a responsibility as a comic to have like this fucking outward sort of appearance or whatever, even if it's online or whatever, and you have such a, like, eh, so much happening. And it'll be funny eventually. All this shit's gonna be funny, whatever, eventually. I don't care about that right now.

• 34:31Speaker 07

  But it's just, it's so like, I don't know, man, it's just very hard. I mean, you're, you're, I mean, I'm, I'm glad to hear that you say something like that. You're somebody who, you know, you're an emotionally intelligent person, so I feel like, if I were to say this to you on the pod, that like, dude, my, I, I'm, I'm just, I'm struggling, feeling like my, my dad's sick, my best friend is sick, all in the same year, and it's all like, just coming to a point, and I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm struggling to feel like, man, this is like, like, you know, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm struggling to feel like, man, this is all fucking funny. Like, everything's funny until it's not, you know, until it's like, really contextualizes your life, or the value of, of these people in it.

• 35:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 07

  It's tough, man.

• 35:11Andrew Santino?

  Well, how about this, I'm glad you came.

• 35:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  And I'm glad you said that. I'm sorry that, that you're going through it.

• 35:16Speaker 07

  No, no, like-

• 35:16Andrew Santino?

  But it's, but it, but it shapes who you are, it will color more who you are, and, and I think, look, you know, I've never dealt with something at that scale, and that's, I know that's a heavy, heavy, heavy thing, and I'm glad you shared it, you know? But I do think, your job- Comedy away.

• 35:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:36Andrew Santino?

  Your job is to make sure that you're still getting the most out of life with these people.

• 35:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:44Andrew Santino?

  Because comedy will be there. Comedy's not going anywhere, man, especially with the way you work. Like, what I mean is, you're not a passive lazy person. So comedy can take a backseat, and the older you get, the more we need to put it in the backseat a little bit, because it's only been driving us the whole time.

• 36:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:01Andrew Santino?

  And so now it's like you need to push that back a little bit, and I know it's really hard, because we have that mentality, every one of us, no matter how big you get in comedy. Chappelle has this too, of like, gotta still get up. And you're like, well, you don't, really. But he's like, yeah, you do. And you realize it's like, oh, we all have the same disease of like,

• 36:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:21Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, you gotta, you have to still make comedy a thing in your life, if not the priority. And I think times like this, and it's, I guess it's a great tie from what we just talked about to what you're going through, it means the most that you separate. And let the comedy just sit right there for a second, go do what you need to do. Life will bring you back to where you need to be, comedy-wise, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't worry about it, I wouldn't think about it at all. I would only think about the other shit.

• 36:49Speaker 07

  I almost am. I know I have the responsibility of when things pick up back on tour and everything, like,

• 36:55Andrew Santino?

  Sure, but that doesn't, that's not a priority. Because tour's not going anywhere, man. Those cities are gonna be there, those fans are gonna be there, these people want to support you, and especially if they know you're going through something real, which they all fucking go through. I think we forget that people come to laugh also to get away from their fucking shit. So this is the sad clown disease of like, we have to bring the joy even if we're sad.

• 37:15Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:16Andrew Santino?

  Because they're probably going through a tough role, and they just want life to feel good.

• 37:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:19Andrew Santino?

  But when it's time for you to help yourself out, you need to help yourself out, you know what I mean?

• 37:23Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:23Andrew Santino?

  And again, sometimes comedy does help me get away from the, if it's too sad and too, too much spiral, then it's like, I need to go fuck around on stage to make, make me kind of feel free again.

• 37:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:37Andrew Santino?

  But you, you, only you know your own balance, but I think because you're going through that with your pop, I mean, You know, I think that's tough, dude. I think it's a making whatever that is a priority is the only thing that matters. My parents are getting older, so I was like, we need to do the more stuff. We need to do more and more shit.

• 37:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 37:54Andrew Santino?

  You know, and they're trying, but it's become more of a point. Like, when I go home tomorrow, I'm gonna spend almost a whole month with them. Just cuz I was like, you know, we're not going backwards. So, I was like, we need to just keep trying new shit, going to do new shit, trying to have some fun cuz it's not guaranteed. And I think people at home deal with it, everyone that's listening. They've all got their own version of it. Which, again, this is a big full circle moment. That's why I don't care as much about stuff that I used to. They're all living the same thing you are. It's not the exact same thing, but they're living a version of it. Of like, "Yeah, my dog fucking died and I just lost my job."

• 38:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 38:32Andrew Santino?

  And I like listening to, you know, Drew's shit cuz it makes me feel a little bit the escapism is there. You know? They, everyone's looking for a way to push away the bullshit.

• 38:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 38:45Andrew Santino?

  You do have to deal with it, but we're all kind of doing that.

• 38:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, that was why I was, that was why I was curious about how you, you know, like, what, what kind of brought you into feeling like this is a change for me uh, professionally and about how I carry myself so it I, I, you know, so you can better manage whatever, whatever it is that, that happens on those, on those

• 39:05Andrew Santino?

  I think unfortunately it's time, like any, like, it's time. That's the shittiest part.

• 39:08Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:09Andrew Santino?

  I, I'll tell you, this is like the funniest thing. I, I think what I think one thing that really kind of started to give me more like calmness or or acceptance is when I started to become the same age or older than the executives I was working with.

• 39:25Speaker 07

  Oh, that's so

• 39:27Andrew Santino?

  It like does something to you. Yeah, like when I, when I, when I, when I have an executive I meet that's 38 and I'm like, fuck you. It just, it, there's a thing that happens, right? It, it, it just, you become, you go, "Oh, I used to be like" You know, you'd look up and I don't want to make you upset and I'll do whatever you guys. And they're like, oh, you gotta stop two times. We're gonna fly you out, but you have to stop twice on the way to New York. And you're like, sure, man. Yeah, I'll hang on the wing, you know? And we would just, you know, you would just push yourself into the fire because you were, I was scared of these beings.

• 39:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 39:57Andrew Santino?

  Then when I became the same age as them, or I surpassed age of some of these people, your brain clicks differently. You're like, oh, what the fuck does a kid? I'm fine. I've lived more years than this person, or I've, I've got my own experience now.

• 40:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 40:10Andrew Santino?

  I think that helps too. It's literally, unfortunately, it's time in the game. It's time with the machine. That helps you calm down.

• 40:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, and same with, same with audience too. Sometimes, sometimes when you look out and like, they're like, oh, these are really, really young. These are, these are kids.

• 40:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, at this point, we're getting older where they're, everyone's going to be younger than you.

• 40:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 40:27Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna continue as time goes on.

• 40:29Speaker 07

  Well, yeah.

• 40:29Andrew Santino?

  Like, what's your, what's your age range?

• 40:32Speaker 07

  It's honestly, it's, it's like forty, like thirty to forty, twenty-five to forty.

• 40:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 40:37Speaker 07

  That's kind of the people who, so it's kind of like mostly older, I guess.

• 40:42Andrew Santino?

  I'll get a couple, sometimes my wife laughs, like I'll have a guy come up to me who's like in his like late fifties, early sixties. And he'll be like, dude, massive fan. And I'll be like, thank you, brother. And then we'll go sit down and I'll be like, fuck, that guy was old, man. Am I fucking old, dude? Like, I like it? It just like clicks in where you're like, shit, dude, I'm old too. Yeah, I'm not young, I'm not a young lad anymore. But that's cool. I mean, but also then I'll get a twenty-four-year-old dude at the airport being like, I'm Bobby's mom, dude! And I'm like, hey, what's up, dog? I get both sides of, you know, and I don't care. I'll take, I want everyone of all ages. I don't give a shit how old you are. But it just reminds you, it's like, I'm not a kid anymore either.

• 41:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:20Andrew Santino?

  So you want to think that everyone is, I think especially of authority figures, you always think they're always older than you, you know?

• 41:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:26Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you're older than most cops. I always think about that. Like whenever I get pulled over now, I want to be like, dude, what are you, fucking twenty-eight? Get out of here, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I'm older than most cops, you know? That's kind of how my brain sees things now. I just, you start to. You don't care. You've lived enough. You've had enough trial and tribulation. You've made a lot of mistakes. You've tried to correct some of them. You've bounced back. You've been better. You've been worse at some things. And I think that's everybody. I think the more that we live in that space, the more you be you comfortable with all the other bullshit.

• 41:56Speaker 00

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• 43:20Speaker 01

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• 43:23Speaker 07

  Do you know of a, is there a year that comes to mind where you're like, man, this one was, this one was the hardest? What, like?

• 43:31Speaker 07

  Personally, professionally, where you were like, this one is

• 43:34Andrew Santino?

  2025, no, no. I would say, I would say, like, is this your hardest year this year, do you think?

• 43:40Speaker 07

  Maybe, I think I'm managing okay on the personal side, but, I mean, I just, I sometimes

• 43:45Andrew Santino?

  Cause your career's going great.

• 43:47Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:48Andrew Santino?

  But so, but the, but the life stuff is tough.

• 43:49Speaker 07

  The life stuff's tough, sure.

• 43:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 43:51Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  I don't think it was ever one year, I do think there's moments, um, you know, I couldn't go home when my grandpa died, and I think to this day, I'm still mad about that, because I was working, and I needed to work.

• 44:02Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 44:03Andrew Santino?

  And I was mad about that, in retrospect.

• 44:06Speaker 07

  You, you're talking about, you were talking about you were, you were doing comedy at that time?

• 44:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Yeah, I was on the road.

• 44:13Andrew Santino?

  That I'm still mad about, I will say, I'm still actually upset about that, he was like my hero. You know, and of course, my grandmother was like, he would have wanted you to keep doing your thing, he was so proud of you.

• 44:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:22Andrew Santino?

  He would not want you to change to come to a funeral, you saw him right before he died. But to this day, I fucking, I'm, that, I'm actually still upset about it myself, I'm mad. So I would say that to all my fans, is, over, this is now, this is, what, god, 10 years ago now?

• 44:37Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 44:38Andrew Santino?

  Over 10 years now?

• 44:39Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  I would say to, to fans, that, just go, you know, go to the thing, skip the fucking gig, skip the work, work is, work sucks, work will be there, in any capacity. Yeah, I'm mad I ever did that, I'm mad I ever fucking never went home for that, and I, I was, I guilted myself over for a long time.

• 44:59Andrew Santino?

  For no reason, I mean, it was, it was all okay.

• 45:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:02Andrew Santino?

  But, uh, I've learned more to be like, fuck it, like, my buddy, my buddy's gonna get married, a good friend of mine is gonna get married, and I was gonna miss it, uh, coming up in two months, and I said, fuck that, cancel the shit, I'm gonna go.

• 45:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:16Andrew Santino?

  I wanna fucking go to his thing.

• 45:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:19Andrew Santino?

  Celebrating life, I was like, what, I'm gonna be dead?

• 45:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:21Andrew Santino?

  Who gives a fuck about the gig, I'll, well, what if they don't book you again, these fears, who, who fucking cares?

• 45:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:28Andrew Santino?

  It's, you're gonna figure it all out, it'll all figure itself out, and that's more important to me, is being with friends or family, and celebrating the, the machine of life, of like, these moments of rites of passage, like, those are, that's way more important.

• 45:41Speaker 07

  That wedding better be so good, dude.

• 45:42Andrew Santino?

  It better fucking be good, dude.

• 45:44Speaker 07

  Literally.

• 45:44Andrew Santino?

  Sean, if it's bad.

• 45:46Speaker 07

  They better make it.

• 45:48Andrew Santino?

  They better fuck it, if they don't last.

• 45:50Speaker 07

  I'm telling you, dude, it was a corporate gig that I didn't, you know?

• 45:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 07

  No, I'm telling for you.

• 45:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, I go, uh, Sean.

• 45:56Speaker 07

  It was a corporate, dude.

• 45:57Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what I missed out on, dude? I'm gonna bill ya.

• 46:01Andrew Santino?

  No, it's actually, by the way, that should start happening for our friends. We should have divorce parties. When my friends get divorced, if you spent all that money going to the wedding.

• 46:07Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:08Andrew Santino?

  It should be a divorce party.

• 46:08Speaker 07

  Absolutely.

• 46:09Andrew Santino?

  The guy should throw a divorce party for his boys that he invited to his wedding. If it didn't work out. Same thing for the girls. You got, a girl should have a divorce party. We should institute this. By the way, new business. You know, you know what I mean? Because people always do, like, marriage, huge business. Babies, huge business, and death.

• 46:24Speaker 07

  And dogs.

• 46:25Andrew Santino?

  And dogs. And dogs, that's also true.

• 46:28Speaker 07

  Huge business.

• 46:29Andrew Santino?

  We could do a dog business. We could do, um, divorce with dogs.

• 46:34Andrew Santino?

  The Drews divorced with dogs. Drew Two's divorced with dogs. So Drew and I are starting a business. Uh, if you're getting a divorce, we provide puppies. To come to your house to hang out with. You get drunk, you play with dogs. This is gonna make you happy, dude. We provide a bartender, uh, who's in a dog costume. And little dogs are gonna be running around. You can pick which ones you want. And if for extra, we can sic a, we can sic a dog on your ex. We can have them try to find your ex. Divorce with dogs. Yeah, no, I think it's, you need to do those things to, you need to do those things. I just feel like that's more and more becoming priority in my life to skip the thing, to do the other thing.

• 47:14Speaker 07

  Were you were close with your, with your grandpa?

• 47:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, that was like my hero. He was my, he was my guy. That was like the funniest dude I ever knew. Who was the, who was like the guy in your family who like made you feel, like you were like,

• 47:26Andrew Santino?

  "They're fucking funny."

• 47:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, I guess,

• 47:29Speaker 07

  I guess it'd be, I guess it'd be my dad.

• 47:31Andrew Santino?

  Your dad was funny like that?

• 47:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, I guess so. He's just, just so, just, just thrown away, just type funny, you know, like just Midwest type, like just thrown away.

• 47:39Andrew Santino?

  On purpose or on accident?

• 47:40Speaker 07

  On purpose.

• 47:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, on purpose, yeah. People who are funny who don't know it, those are really funny people. I mean, they're like, they don't like, you know, they're just like, that's a funny person to watch and they're not aware that they are. That's a different type, but.

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, your dad was, he's smart, he's intelligent.

• 47:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, he was like.

• 47:54Andrew Santino?

  You remember my buddy Schuler? Schuler is one of my oldest friends. Schuler's funny on accident. Like you talked about. He has no idea. He's probably gonna hear this. He's awesome. And his disposition in life is wonderful. He's gone through some really tough shit. Still just tries to stay in the good mood and he says funny ass shit.

• 48:14Speaker 07

  Like what's an example of?

• 48:16Andrew Santino?

  Well, I mean, he does funny stuff too. This is the funniest story that I remember. You know, we were in college still, I think, and we were all in Chicago celebrating New Year's Eve. And we all split a room together. Like, we all pitched in on a hotel. We had no money. We had two dimes to rub together, dude. And we were all kind of scrounging out our New Year's Eve outfits, because we bought tickets to this bar. And it was a hundred dollars per person, all you can eat and drink. From 4pm till, you know, 2 in the morning. So we had all been like, "We're gonna be there at fucking 4 o'clock? We're eating dinner? We're gonna have cocktails? We'll go outside and smoke?" You know what I mean? We planned the night, because it was a hundred dollars. And that was all the money we'd ever had in our entire life.

• 49:01Andrew Santino?

  But I remember it was unlimited all-you-can-drink-and-eat, and I said, "We're not going anywhere else. We're gonna stay here all night." And we're in the hotel room and we're all kind of like got our, you know, Ross Dress for Less thrown together. Button-up shirts with, you know, colored jeans and dress shoes, which was like, at the time, that was the style. Brother, I know. That was the style. And, dude, this is 2004, 2005, whatever. And we have our clothes on and then Schuler comes out of the bathroom. And he's done his hair. He's got his hair slicked back and he's got like a linebacker body. And he goes, "Check this the fuck out." And he had on, it was a leather jacket. It was a shirt jacket.

• 49:45Andrew Santino?

  It was a shirt, but it was a jacket? Dude, I had tears in my eyes. But he thought it was the flyest shit. He was like, "Dude, you know how much money I saved and spent on this fucking thing?" Like, it was like 3 weeks paycheck, you know? And I was like, "Brother, why do you have a leather shirt on?" It was all leather, a leather long-sleeved shirt. It was the dumbest looking fucking thing. And he was like, "Nobody fucking spill on this, dude." I'm like, "We're gonna be blacked out. Someone's gonna spill on it." And then the funniest part is, he gets in a, he gets in an argument with someone, probably the third hour in, because we're hammered, and some guy's chirping at him, and he's a big boy, and I wouldn't fuck with him. He's, right though, you know him, he's, he's not

• 50:28Andrew Santino?

  a small man. Like, he's got a dominating presence, too. He would fuck you up. And he's chirping at someone, and my buddy Pig, my buddy Pig is, uh, the funniest dude, Kansas City dude, gold tooth, he used to have a gold tooth on his front tooth. And he was like, nah, she over there trying to fight. And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, she over there trying to fight. And I was like, well, let's go over there. He goes, I'm not getting kicked out of here for a hundred dollars. I was like, yeah, you're right, dude. So she was like, you guys gonna help me? I was like, no one's helping you, dude. Keep that shacket, kick him out, kick out the shacket guy. But his, these moments, like, they were unaccidentally funny. You know what I mean? Like that. He wasn't trying to be, he just was, he's a, he's a cartoon, man.

• 51:06Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's just himself.

• 51:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he's one of the best dudes I've ever known in my entire life.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 51:13Andrew Santino?

  This episode of Whiskey Junior brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is fantastic. I've talked to you about this for years and years now. I do believe in getting yourself some help, and BetterHelp does just that. With the internet, you know, at the access of your fingertips, and also with the access at your fingertips to things that I think hurt your mental health and wellness, it's a struggle to take action, but I think you need to now. And with BetterHelp, they've got 30,000, over 30,000 therapists, the world's largest online therapy platform, serving over 5 million people globally. It really does work. It's convenient. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life, plus switch therapists at literally anytime you want. I've used therapy for a while, and I really believe talking to someone

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  helps so very much. So no matter what you're going through, BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world. BetterHelp can provide access to mental health and professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners are gonna get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/whiskey. That's betterhelp, better H-E-L-P dot com slash whiskey.

• 52:21Andrew Santino?

  I think that thing that you got from your pop,

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  it's probably why you're witty, because you're, having a father figure who's got that thing in him, you know? Like, my dad was never like a, like that. My dad was a dad. My dad was always dad. "What are you doing?" It was a lot of that.

• 52:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 52:39Andrew Santino?

  "You fucking idiot." It was a lot of that. Which I deserved, because I was a fucking idiot.

• 52:43Speaker 07

  Mine too. Is that weird that mine was?

• 52:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but your dad-

• 52:45Speaker 07

  Is that weird that mine was both?

• 52:45Andrew Santino?

  But your dad had, no, it could have been both, but he probably had more comedy chops in it. My dad was dad.

• 52:50Speaker 07

  Oh, I see.

• 52:51Andrew Santino?

  My dad was made to be dad. It was like, the dad machine built the dad. You know, and he came out with a very like, "The fucking you, that thing."

• 52:59Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:00Andrew Santino?

  That thing. And I deserved every second of those, because I was an idiot.

• 53:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, but still, such a small, such a narrow box to fit in between that guy's comfort zone of like, don't, like, don't, like, don't push me too far here and don't do, don't do where you're, to where it's nothing either.

• 53:15Andrew Santino?

  Exactly.

• 53:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:16Andrew Santino?

  Be in my, be in the safe zone.

• 53:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:18Andrew Santino?

  Don't fuck it up, will ya? I think that, that part of him made me, because I was so much more of a smartass. And my grandfather was the one that was a goof.

• 53:26Speaker 07

  This is your dad's dad?

• 53:27Andrew Santino?

  This is my mom's dad.

• 53:28Speaker 07

  Oh, interesting.

• 53:29Andrew Santino?

  My dad's dad died when he was a kid, and then he had a stepdad that, uh, uh, that comically like, was too old to be a dad, you know, so he had already like, raised his own kids.

• 53:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:40Andrew Santino?

  So he wasn't, he, he just sat in his chair. Like, most dads, sit in a chair. But my, but my grandfather, that you, that, he was the guy. He would say stuff, like, he would say stuff he shouldn't say. But like, you know, you'd be in earshot of like, a heavyset guy. And he would say something to us. And the guy would certainly be able to hear it. He'd be like, uh, but he knows where, uh, he knows a good spot for a good meal. But he would say it to you, like, dude. But as a kid, you know what I mean, you'd laugh, because he would do that shit all the time. You know? Uh, yeah, he was, he was, he had a great sense of humor, but it was always very like- He's just teasing.

• 54:20Speaker 07

  And was he old enough to where like, people were okay with it? That's the other thing.

• 54:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, he was a firefighter for Chicago. He was kind of a guy's guy's guy. Like, you know, that's who he always was.

• 54:28Speaker 07

  But like, you're talking about your grandfather, right? Yeah, so, yeah. So that's the thing, but right now, my dad is, he, so he has no filter of somebody who has brain cancer. He's just like letting it fly.

• 54:39Andrew Santino?

  Why not?

• 54:40Speaker 07

  But, he's young, you know what I mean? So he's not, he's not like an older guy who's like saying stuff. He's like, oh, it's endearing because he's old.

• 54:46Andrew Santino?

  Right, I understand.

• 54:47Speaker 07

  You know what I mean? This is a, this is a, this is a middle-aged guy saying some sexist shit. You know what I mean? Like, I-

• 54:53Andrew Santino?

  To the nurse or something?

• 54:54Speaker 07

  Yeah, to anyone, yes, but mostly. Like, you know, just anybody. And I, it's like, and sometimes it's in passing and I gotta go find that person and be like, he has brain cancer, you don't understand, like, it's young, it's, it came on quick. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it comes with a whole prerequisite, because-

• 55:07Andrew Santino?

  How old is he?

• 55:08Speaker 07

  He's fifty-eight.

• 55:11Andrew Santino?

  He's my age, yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's, yeah, he's right-

• 55:13Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy.

• 55:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's young.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  He is a young guy.

• 55:15Speaker 07

  He's young, so, and he looks young, you know what I mean? He looks young, but it's like a bad, it's like a bad one, you know what I mean? And he's like, sorry, and like, he can't see, like, he can't see either, so he'll, so he'll think someone's gone, and he's talking shit. Like, he'll think, like, you know what I mean? Like, we'll be in the elevator and it's like, you know what I mean? And you can't, he's just ripping of, like, an accent, and you're like, dude, like, and he's like, you see that fucking guy? He was like this. And I'm like, yeah, he's in the elevator. You know what I mean?

• 55:38Andrew Santino?

  He's five feet away, dude.

• 55:39Speaker 07

  Here, he pushed the, he pushed the floor for us. Idiot.

• 55:44Speaker 07

  Like, I love you, dude, but like, I mean, he's, I mean, he is, I mean, he's just, like, he's like, he's Midwest, so he, he, he lets, he is ruled by his, his small-mindedness a little bit. You know what I mean? And, and like, and he want, and like, that's what makes people like that endearing is, like, they want to change, but they are still, their programming is still what it is. You know what I mean? They're like, yeah, well, I know I shouldn't, but I, but I do. You know what I mean? It's like that.

• 56:08Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 56:09Speaker 07

  I don't, I know I shouldn't, but I do. It's, you know, like that. And so, hey, that's, that's, that's the big, that's the big challenge right now, is just, you know, trying to navigate the fact that we're like, dude, I know you have the illness of somebody who's much, much older, but you are you right now. You know what I mean? We're, yeah, I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, dude, he's like, we look like, yeah, he's like, he's my age, you know what I mean? We look, we look like buddies, you know what I mean? Like, he's just-

• 56:33Andrew Santino?

  You should get him a shirt that just says, "I got brain cancer."

• 56:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 56:36Andrew Santino?

  "Sorry about what I said."

• 56:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 56:38Andrew Santino?

  Is he forgetful or is his memory still okay?

• 56:41Speaker 07

  Uh, yeah, I mean, he's a little bit, yeah, I mean, he still has an okay memory. It just takes so much like, energy to like, to try to, it's only, you know, he can only do one thing at a time. It can only be simple, you know, um, he's disoriented often. And his, I mean, it's his, uh, his comfort zone is just so small. So it's that Midwest dad thing where it's just like, you can't set me off in any kind of way. And, um, and it's only ever gotten like, just kind of, it's only just ever gotten like, just kind of worse with this, uh, diagnosis.

• 57:12Andrew Santino?

  Does he have, is he at home or is he in hospice?

• 57:15Speaker 07

  He's, he's at home. So my mom's literally taking care of him like the full time. Yeah, dude, and she, yeah, and she's a saint just because she's like, you know, she's just, you know, she's just, he says a lot of like wild stuff because he doesn't feel good. He does not, he's not in a good place, you know? So he just, he just does that and, you know, like, it's hard because like, this is a guy who, like, I am so, like, his pre-programming is something that I have too, like, I just have it inherently. And he's just such a, he's just, like, I don't know if you relate to this at all, because you're from the Midwest as well. But like, we're, people in the Midwest, they're just angry at other people, like, you know what I mean? They're just like, like, I just fucking hate that guy, you know, for, like, that's just a, like, it's just a, you just, you hate him before you know him.

• 58:00Speaker 07

  You hate him before you see him. Like, I fucking know that that, like, a guy at the stoplight who's just next to you, you just, you can have, you can have no opinion about him. Or you can just hate that guy.

• 58:09Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 58:09Speaker 07

  You know what I mean? And-

• 58:10Andrew Santino?

  The Midwest is always like, "Look at this jagoff."

• 58:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:13Andrew Santino?

  It's always, "Look at this jagoff, look at this fucking jagoff."

• 58:15Speaker 07

  Fucking idiot.

• 58:16Andrew Santino?

  You're like, "What does he do? What did he do?"

• 58:17Speaker 07

  He's doing-

• 58:18Andrew Santino?

  You see his bullshit. You see what he's doing, jagoff.

• 58:23Speaker 07

  He's just shopping.

• 58:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. "Oh yeah, you got your bags? You got your fucking bags?" Jagoff. That is very Midwest.

• 58:31Speaker 07

  It's just so like, it could just be a person who's near you, but it's not, that's an enemy, you know? It's like, it's a bad thing. So I have to like, undo all that shit. Like, I wa, like, I wake up every day and I think about somebody I hate, and then I invent a story about why they- Probably not a bad person. I have to like invent something.

• 58:51Andrew Santino?

  Who do you hate right now?

• 58:53Speaker 07

  Like, no, like, just like people from like, people from like my past, you know what I mean? Or whatever, you know, or just like, or something makes me angry. I have to like wake up and meditate and be like, well, that person probably had like they had a distant mom. Like, I have to actually like say things like that. I'm not being funny. I kind of am, but I'm not. I actually am like, I have to like, because it makes me feel better knowing that like I'm trying to work against this, this program of mine that just is like, I just, you know, I'm just mad. I'm angry at that person.

• 59:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's gotta be from your pop.

• 59:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 59:21Andrew Santino?

  That's gotta be, it's a character thing from your dad, you know, like, like I think, look, I think there's a lot of good people that come out of the Midwest. I think Midwest, what we're really trying to say is it's a lot of stubbornness. So a lot of times Midwest kind of uh, masquerades as like, everyone's so nice. And people say that all the time. It's like, everyone's just, everyone's good at covering it up in the Midwest, right? Like, there is a very good, like Minnesota is one thing I'll say about these fucking dickheads where this idiot's from is right. They talk shit, they talk shit behind your back. They wait for you to leave. And then they can't wait to talk shit about you.

• 59:51Speaker 07

  Oh dude, it's the worst.

• 59:53Andrew Santino?

  That's the Midwest, like, you know, or and the closed mindedness, right? It's like, it's not that they don't, it's not that they hate some of these people, but I think the thing that the West Coast did to me too was it put a lot more, a lot more different kinds of people in front of my face that I wasn't used to as a kid. And then when I moved out here, there also is a disposition in California of like, whatever, man. And I, and I gotta tell you, it's a great fucking way to be is like, whatever dude. Dude, can you believe that they're doing this over there? It's like, yeah, man, whatever. It gives you like a fucking, I mean, the East Coast has it too. New York has it in droves. It's just, New York's a little bit harder, like hardened.

• 1:00:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Andrew Santino?

  But they do have a, I don't give a fuck about that guy. I got my own thing going on. Because they're busy. They're in a city. They have their own world existing.

• 1:00:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Andrew Santino?

  In California, it's more like, you know, you know, I like my dad. I remember my dad saying something to the effect of like, they're out there, you know, these guys are out there in G strings and da, da, da, da. And I'm like, whatever, man. Who cares? It doesn't affect me even a little bit. You know what I mean?

• 1:00:46Speaker 07

  Nothing is better than a person from the Midwest's description of.

• 1:00:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, please. Yeah, there was, there was a grocery store in uh, that, a family friend of ours, uh, Jewel, Jewel Osko was like a, it's like a chain. But uh, she was like, uh, talking shit. And she was like, you know, that's the gay jewel. And I was like, what do you mean the gay jewel? Like she's reporting something to me. You know, she's like, no, no, no. Last time I was there, there was a couple of lesbians. And I was like, oh, really? What did they buy? You know, like, I just think because we're so used to different kinds of people, that we see so many different kinds of people.

• 1:01:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:22Andrew Santino?

  That it doesn't really, that you don't care or think about anything like this. It just, but the Midwest still has like, uh, they'll be nice and they'll go, hi.

• 1:01:30Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:31Andrew Santino?

  And they get in their car and they're like, Bob, there's two lesbians at the thing.

• 1:01:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's just because they're, it's because they're used to their way of life.

• 1:01:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:39Andrew Santino?

  And we're more in a world of like, there's, everyone's out here, dude, every kind of person. Every kind of person you could ever think of is fucking here.

• 1:01:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, my initial programming is to assume that something that's different is bad.

• 1:01:52Andrew Santino?

  You're right, Midwest did that to you.

• 1:01:54Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they go, if it's not like you, it's wrong.

• 1:01:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, and I could give a, I could give a shit about anything that anyone does. I don't care about any person at all. I don't hate any group of people. I hate individuals. I don't hate groups of people because of whatever it is that they do or who they are.

• 1:02:09Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:02:09Speaker 07

  But like, if it's just like, but like, the Midwest has like, made me initially go, you know what I mean?

• 1:02:15Andrew Santino?

  What's that about?

• 1:02:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, what's that?

• 1:02:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, oh, I know.

• 1:02:18Speaker 07

  It's insane.

• 1:02:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's, it's, you know, and, and, and this is not to shit on the Midwest, just because we're from the Midwest. I love it so much. I just think, uh, it is a thing you hear all the time, is when they mock California, the weirdos out there and all this stuff. There's weirdos everywhere.

• 1:02:33Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:34Andrew Santino?

  There's weirdos back where you live, it's just, you don't see it the way we see it.

• 1:02:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:02:37Andrew Santino?

  It just is not as present.

• 1:02:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Andrew Santino?

  As whatever you don't like about the, you know, people doing whatever they want to do.

• 1:02:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, I think it's just, I think actually the fact that, like, you know, like you were saying about East Coast, like, people in New York who are like, I don't care about that fucking guy, I got my own thing going on.

• 1:02:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:51Speaker 07

  You have the luxury of a busy city. Do you know what's difficult, you know how difficult it is to have nothing going on?

• 1:02:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's what it is. When you live out in the middle of nowhere, it's tough.

• 1:02:59Speaker 07

  You don't have appointments, you don't have a, you know what I mean? You just sit and you rock.

• 1:03:03Andrew Santino?

  And you don't have to share space. There's no, there's no space, which is what they love. That's what, you know, that family mind that lives out, they like that they don't share space with anybody. But that's why when they encompass someone that isn't what they're used to or what they enjoy, that's usually why they're like, what the fuck is this? You know, because they want their own little space. But that's what I said to somebody, I was walking the dog the other day, and this guy had a sign. On his, but the grass between the sidewalk and the street, that's not yours anymore. That's public. You know what I mean? That's public. It's on the other side of the sidewalk and it's between the sidewalk and the road. That ain't yours, okay? And it said, a sign that said, absolutely no dog urination on my lawn. And I wanted so bad my dog to piss on it, just to be like, dude, fucking shut up.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  You wanna, if you want these luxuries, don't live in a city.

• 1:03:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Andrew Santino?

  You live in a major metropolitan area.

• 1:03:51Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:52Andrew Santino?

  Move the fuck out. If you don't want people shit all over your shit, don't buy a house that's on top of other humans and apartment buildings that loom over you. Dude, we're all here. Get over it. And if you're like, I don't like the way people live around me, then get the fuck out.

• 1:04:04Speaker 07

  Oh, totally.

• 1:04:04Andrew Santino?

  Then go so far away, because you're never gonna control other people's shit. That's, I think, another humbling of life. What are you gonna do? When someone goes, I don't like how these other people operate around me, it's like, well, then move far away from humans. If that's how you wanna live, that's fine. Then get the fuck out. But you're not allowed to live in a condensed place and get mad that people don't operate the way you want. We all do it. I do it, but you have to get over it and go, well, what are you gonna do?

• 1:04:28Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, whoa, what am I gonna? You know, like I used to complain about the guy whose dog would piss on my gate. I hate, I fucking hate that guy. What are you gonna do? I fucking hate him. I'm gonna kill him. But what am I gonna do? I have to splash water because the dog pisses on the fucking gate every day. And it's so much piss. It's so much piss that I'm like, God, if it was just a small dog. But there's just things you accept and you just go, fuck it, dude. We're all drowning. It doesn't matter. Who cares? By the way, the world is over. The impending doom is here.

• 1:04:58Speaker 07

  Oh, dude.

• 1:04:59Andrew Santino?

  Bomb us now. Whoever's listening out there, throw the bombs, dude. Drop them hard. Hit me hard. You know, I think that's, again, if we're, if we're full circling all this, it, everything is letting go. Getting, going back to letting it go. It's okay. It's fine. It fucking sucks. A lot of this shit's hard. We're all dealing with our own beasts. You know, you're dealing with a beast that is, you know, heavier than most, maybe. You know, I think that's a heavy, heavy thing, but everyone's got their shit.

• 1:05:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Andrew Santino?

  And it's, and you just gotta let it all go. Let other people's shit go. You deal with your shit, but you can't control someone else's bullshit, you know? You keep slamming away and you'll be fine.

• 1:05:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Andrew Santino?

  You know? And, and on, on that hilarious note.

• 1:05:46Andrew Santino?

  But I do want everyone at home to go watch your special. We'll put the link in the description below. Cause you're a very funny guy, and I know you're gonna make a meal out of this at some point, too. You know, you will, you'll have to, because the comedy of it will show itself down the road, because it is beautiful. It's sad and beautiful. And we're all gonna, someone's dealing with it just like you. You just don't know. You know what I mean? Someone for sure is going through the same bullshit. You just don't know yet. And when you give it to somebody, it'll be nice, because they'll go, "Oh, man, that's just like the shit that I had to go through. That, that, I had the same, same bullshit."

• 1:06:19Andrew Santino?

  Are you going back home soon? You gonna go see him again?

• 1:06:22Speaker 07

  I'm gonna try, yeah. I'm gonna try before tour, before tour picks back up, so.

• 1:06:26Andrew Santino?

  You going out again?

• 1:06:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah. At the end, at the end of August, it kinda just picks back up, and then it gets crazy, so. I try to take a little bit of time, um, in the summertime, doing like, personal shit, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you got, well, it's the time to do it. It's not a tour time, people are gone. And then the fall, you gotta get back to it.

• 1:06:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:06:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay, well, look, my friend, I appreciate you coming by the show. I've had a wonderful time with you. I really hope people watch The Stuttering Comedian on YouTube. We will put the link in the description.

• 1:06:53Andrew Santino?

  I wish the best. My heart goes out to you. And I think it's a good life lesson for other people listening to know that, everyone does have a little something going on, whether you know it or not. So it's easy to judge.

• 1:07:06Andrew Santino?

  But it gets a lot easier as you get older to go, "Well, someone else has got some fucking wild shit, too." So, what are you gonna do? Let him piss on your gate? I guess that's the lesson. We end the episode the same way. Look into that camera and say one word or one phrase. I also wanted to thank you for giving me this gift. This is extremely nice. I couldn't drink, because I'm cleaning out right now.

• 1:07:25Speaker 07

  I get that, I get that. For another time.

• 1:07:28Andrew Santino?

  This guy. Me and you need to have another one of these. Oh, he's got, is this the, um, oh, the Derringer, yeah, delicious. You're a sweet prince, you know that? You really are. We end the episode the same way. Say one word or one phrase into that camera whenever you are ready. Go ahead.

• 1:07:45Speaker 07

  The fuck is this guy doing?

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:07:53Speaker 05

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard! It's dirty, and ginger.

• 1:07:56Speaker 04

  Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Gingers, oh, hell, no.

• 1:08:05Speaker 05

  This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.