995 Self-Image, Intimacy, and the Dangers of Comedy w/Nikki Glaser

"I just want to be extraordinary. I don't want to be average. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be not seen. Because I felt that way so much."Lewis sits down with comedian Nikki Glaser for a wide-ranging discussion on Nikki's lifelong struggle with body dysmorphia, how she approaches intimacy, and the challenge of being a comedian in the current climate. Nikki also shares the best joke she ever told. The Power of Erotic Intelligence with Esther Perel: https://link.chtbl.com/732-podFind Lasting Love with Matthew Hussey: https://link.chtbl.com/811-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 995 with Nikki Glaser.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:30Lewis Howes?

  Maya Angelou once said, "Laugh as much as possible. Always laugh. It's the sweetest thing one can do for oneself and one's fellow human beings." An author, Oscar Wilde, said, "It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." My guest today is one of the funniest people I know. Nikki Glaser has had three specials on Netflix. She's also the host of the Comedy Central podcast, You Up, and she's embarking on a mini tour of all outside stand-up shows at the end of the month. And what I love about Nikki's comedy is that she's always saying what we're afraid to admit we're thinking. This was truly a unique School of Greatness conversation. Nikki was hilarious, but also

• 1:13Lewis Howes?

  vulnerable and real and full of relatable stories. And we actually sat down back in early spring before the quarantine. And we thought this was a perfect time to drop the episode now. We could all use a little more humor in our lives. And if you're enjoying this episode, make sure to share it with someone who needs to hear it. And a quick reminder to subscribe to the School of Greatness on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and give us a rating or review to help us spread the message of greatness to more people. Coming up, Nikki Glaser, after I take just two minutes to keep the lights on.

• 1:47Lewis Howes?

  What I love about you is you really talk about vulnerabilities and insecurities and you go in and talk about a lot of real stuff. One of the coolest things I saw you post was actually a video you shared of someone else, of a young girl that said, "I'm ugly. I'm too ugly." And then this older woman, I don't know if it's her mom or her sister or caretaker.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  It looks like a mom's friend or something who was doing her hair.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, doing her hair was like stopped her and was like, no, you are beautiful. You're amazing. I love this about you. And I was like really inspired that you posted that.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:19Lewis Howes?

  Because I think we have a platform where we can really inspire people and it's it's great to tell jokes and do your thing and you know, make people laugh and entertainment. But when you can remind people of how beautiful they are, I think it's really special. So I want to acknowledge you for for the gift you have in reminding girls who follow you about not comparing themselves, not judging themselves.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  I was conflicted about that video in many ways because it was the it was the one of the best videos I've watched, the most moving.

• 2:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Like things I've seen on Reddit and I saw it late one night and it just it popped up again yesterday and I was like, oh, I have to repost this. I forgot. Because I showed my closest friends because this little girl, what was heartbreaking about the video is this little girl's four and she looks into the camera and just like sees herself on the screen. Yeah, because it's like an Instagram live or something or something live. And the woman was just, you know, doing a live video while she's doing this little girl's hair and the little girl just looks at herself and she goes, I'm ugly. And it was just like, to me, I I have I feel that way like so much all the time.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I struggle with it a lot and people always comment, you're beautiful, all these things that I I know, thank you. Like, I I know I'm a pretty girl who's complaining about feeling ugly, but I can't help. I do feel very ugly sometimes. And I have face dysmorphia, I have body dysmorphia, but like as I age too, it just gets worse and worse. And I know that so many women have it too. So I know I'm not alone. But the way this little girl said I'm ugly was like, I felt it. I've I felt that way before, but to see it, I didn't feel it until I was I think eighteen seventeen was probably the first time I started really feeling that way and being like this, I hate myself because of it.

• 4:05Lewis Howes?

  Really? So what would it be? You look in the mirror or you'd see a girlfriend or you'd see someone on TV and you'd be like, oh, I don't like the way I look?

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you just see someone who's beautiful and you're like, why is God so cruel to have, why I, I got this. I used to yell at my mom and say, why did you and, I was,

• 4:22Lewis Howes?

  No, you did not.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  I was like 12, so it probably started younger, honestly, because my sister, it was around the time my sister got really beautiful, when she was in sixth grade and I was in eighth grade. And I remember telling my parents, I'd go, mom, I remember my mom was doing the dishes and I was just trying to antagonize her because I was just so mad that I was so ugly and my sister was so pretty. And I go, why did you and dad have sex, knowing you could make something as ugly as me?

• 4:44Lewis Howes?

  No, you did not.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  I swear to God, I was like, you should, that was irresponsible of you. You have ugliness in your family. You knew this could happen. And my mom goes, no, it's so sad, but it is funny to say that to your own mom. And my mom was offended, obviously, like, don't say we're ugly and you're ugly, but, but she would never say, you know, telling a child, you're beautiful, shut up. Like, it doesn't, that's just things people, parents have to say. So when she would say, like, just, she would say, just be happy with what you have. And that always to me was like, you are ugly, so just suck it up.

• 5:17Lewis Howes?

  So she wouldn't say you're beautiful?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  She would, but I wouldn't believe that, and I would, I would go, no, I'm not. And she's like, well, then just be happy with what you have, Nikki. And I'd just be like, that's, that's not what I want to do. I don't want to ever settle. So like, there's this part of me that feels.

• 5:31Lewis Howes?

  I think you had an Instagram post that was like, never settle with your dog or a dog that you're kissing.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  That I'm kissing with my dog. Never settle. Because I don't, I don't like being average. I want to be extraordinary. I don't want to walk into a room and not be the prettiest girl, even though that is always the way it is. Like, I, I, I understand my limitations in terms of looks. I, but I truly would do anything to be hot. I would give up my personality to be hotter.

• 5:57Lewis Howes?

  What? Why?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I just think it affords you a better life as a woman.

• 6:01Lewis Howes?

  I understand that.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  And I know that's sad to say.

• 6:04Lewis Howes?

  I understand that women who have the beauty card have certain opportunities in life with, maybe that are different than women who have a personality or a smarts card or whatever it may be, right?

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:16Lewis Howes?

  Um, but it doesn't mean they're gonna be happy.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  No, I know this. I see miserable models all the time. I'm friends with many of them. It doesn't equal happiness.

• 6:24Lewis Howes?

  And they don't think they're beautiful and there's always someone hotter and if someone's got a bigger butt or bigger boobs.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  They're more insecure than any of us, like sevens. It is true, like, tens are more insecure and think they're uglier than most sevens do.

• 6:36Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Because it's heightened. My friend who's a model, she's like, the other day she was talking to me about some guy that made her feel bad about something, her looks. And she was like, and he knows, why would he say that when he knows I'm a model? So I get told I'm ugly every day. And I go, you do? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, what do you mean? And it's like, because models are so beautiful. Photographers and people that work with them feel like they can put them down so much easier because you're a model. It shouldn't affect you that I think you're gaining five pounds or shouldn't affect you that I think your eyes are too far apart. Whatever it is that makes them a model. So she gets, they get insulted all the time. And I remember having a therapist one time because I was crying about the same bullshit. She was like, you should be so grateful you're not a model. They have the, they're the most unhappy women because.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  And it's, and I don't, unless you have some other thing you're working on, if everything about you is your looks, which I'm saying is like, I kind of am. I think that looks are that important and I wish I didn't, but I'm going to talk myself out of it now by saying that if everything about you is your looks. It's not a good thing to invest in because the looks are the only thing that are a hundred percent going to fade.

• 7:40Lewis Howes?

  They will.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  If you keep going, you're gonna become unfuckable ladies. It is a, you're a dying battery of fuckability. And it's okay, but it's gonna happen. So be okay with yourself because if, because I've been working on like. Oh, I want to look hot to attract a man, right? Like men are just, they, that's how you attract them at first and then you have a personality and then they fall in love with you. Or they're like, easy, you talk too much. Um, but I was focusing so much on my looks to attract a man. I want a man who just always wants to fuck me, is always so attracted to me, can't keep his hands off me. It's just. But if a man really if only loves you for the way you look, or it's like 90% of it, that 90% is, it's going to go away.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  It's fragile.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  You will lose it.

• 8:23Lewis Howes?

  They're gonna get tired of it too.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Well, you will lose that if fuckability will be gone. So if you don't have anything else to connect with that person with. He will leave you for someone more fuckable.

• 8:34Lewis Howes?

  That's it. You have to have, this is what Matthew Hussey talks about, which I know you had Matthew on, great guy. He says.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Learned so much from him.

• 8:41Lewis Howes?

  You need to have the combo. He's like, hot guys are only so attractive to women. For so long and then if they don't have the combo, which is like you need to be hot. Or sexy or beautiful or handsome and. You know, I don't know, something else. It's like gotta be two things. You can't just be one. You can't just be smart. You gotta be smart and sensitive.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:02Lewis Howes?

  Can't just be hot. You gotta be hot and a little something else.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  You do. You can't just have it. You you need two things.

• 9:08Lewis Howes?

  You do. And so you've got.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  That's interesting.

• 9:10Lewis Howes?

  You've got beauty and you've got personality and you've got drive and you've got hustle. You've got a lot of great qualities.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Too many things. I really do have too many things.

• 9:18Lewis Howes?

  Things you don't time for any guys.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  I should have two personality traits and stick to those, but it doesn't work for me because you're so right. I have been. I love hot guys. I am. My mom's always been like, Nikki, you just always are thinking about looks. And I'm like, I can't. I struggle so much with sexual intimacy with men that if I'm not sold on you right away in terms of how you look, it's really never gonna get there for me.

• 9:40Lewis Howes?

  You're not gonna be open intimately.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  I can't. I can't get there. Once I've put you in a place of like, I would have sex with him, I wouldn't. You're staying there for forever. And it's really, it's it's it's my way of. Being not open to actual intimacy. So it's like so few can get in and the men that I'm attracted to are generally. Very, very attract out of my league attractive probably. And then also, um, they're not really available. Cause that's the thing that I'm attracted to.

• 10:08Lewis Howes?

  They're married or they're.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  No, not married. That was like.

• 10:12Lewis Howes?

  They're not into intimacy in a relationship.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  They're not. They they're cheaters. They don't like me.

• 10:18Lewis Howes?

  Why do you attract those men?

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Because I'm scared of intimacy. So I I'm attracted to men that can't. I don't know. Trying to figure it out. I'd like to get to the bottom of it.

• 10:26Lewis Howes?

  What's the scariest thing about intimacy for you?

• 10:28Speaker 01

  That, I mean, I think if you really, everyone who's scared of intimacy, which a lot of people are, it's that. You will truly get to know someone and really let them in and they won't love you for who you are and they will reject you. And then you don't have and then you're abandoned.

• 10:45Lewis Howes?

  Okay. And then what?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  And then, or, I mean, my biggest fear of intimacy truly is like, I just have this weird fear. This is just out of nowhere weird, but it's like a real thing. I get scared of sex with men, um, more than anything, even though it's like all I want and like think about it. And I'm motivated by, I'm like a very sexual person, but I don't have sex unless I love someone. Or like, love, whatever that is, unless I'm in a relationship or unless I have been in a relationship with them before. Where that's like, but like a new person, I'm very scared to be like sexually intimate with because of,

• 11:26Speaker 01

  I feel like they'll reject me. I feel like I during, during the thing might become repulsed in some way or hate it.

• 11:34Lewis Howes?

  With them or they'll hate you?

• 11:36Speaker 01

  No, with them. Like I'm scared, like when I've been watching Love is Blind, these girls are always like before they, the, the, it's revealed and they get to see this guy who they already love. They're gonna see him, they're always like, I'm worried if he's gonna like me. And I was like, I'm, if I were them, I'd be like, what if he's not cute? I will now, can't, I can't do it. I cannot be physical with someone unless I'm physically attracted to them. And that is a real problem because like I said, it's a shallow thing. It goes away. And, but I also feel like I never want to be in a position with a man where I'm like, I've gotten myself into a sexual scenario that I can't get out of. Where I'm like, cause I know myself, I like to please people.

• 12:14Lewis Howes?

  So you wanna say no, you just?

• 12:15Speaker 01

  I just go wrong with it.

• 12:17Lewis Howes?

  So when was the first time you remember being like insecure about your looks? Was this 12, was it 17? Is this like, was there a moment where a girl said, oh, you gotta whatever?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was in fifth grade and someone called me a bucktooth beaver because I have, I had these sized teeth in my little

• 12:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, in little head.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Head. And they were like starting to creep out and, um, and that hurt. In fifth grade, I was like borrowing a piece of paper from my friend Ray and I think I had done it every day for many days in a row. And he always knew it was a pencil. He would always give me one. I was always disorganized, forgetting things. And he would always, you know, when like someone just gives you something every day and you're like, I know he's gonna give it to me. I'm just gonna take it because

• 12:55Lewis Howes?

  Oh, without asking or?

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, because it just happens every, this is our thing. That's my pencil at this point. So I, and I'm in fifth grade, you know?

• 13:02Lewis Howes?

  You grab it.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Grab it. He sees me and he goes, damn it, you bucktooth beaver. Why don't you just go in the woods and gnaw on a tree and make your own pencil?

• 13:09Lewis Howes?

  He did not.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  In front of everyone. And I was like, And I think my first thought was like, okay, well, I still need lead to like write with because like wood, I'll just like scratch wood into paper. And I think I may have said that to him, but um, I, that was the first time I was like, my looks are a problem. Men are just, men will punish me for it in front of people. And that's when I went on like lockdown with ever talking to boys or when I knew a gay. Which eighth grade was probably my most awkward year in terms of looks anyway. And then that was the year in sixth grade that my sister came to my middle school and she was gorgeous. She just like grew into her looks, was, it was very popular, everyone liked her.

• 13:47Lewis Howes?

  She was younger by two years, right?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  She was two years younger and from then on, guys in my grade always had crushes on her. Guys that I would like have dreamed to have liked me. So it just began and every time, and she's the most, she's the best person ever and is so not about her looks in any way like I, I love her so much. And so I always feel bad even talking to her about her and being like, you're the reason I hate myself. But you are Lauren and um, but she, when she, when she uh, when we got older, it was like every time she would leave the room, my girlfriends would be like, your sister's so pretty, I hate her. How do you live with it? And I would just be like, I always just felt, I remember walking into a restaurant one time and the, the hostess was like, oh my God, this child is the most beautiful child I've ever seen. And I'm like standing right next to her.

• 14:32Lewis Howes?

  What about me? What am I doing?

• 14:33Speaker 01

  And it just felt terrible. And from then on, I was like, I am ugly. I have to do everything to not be ugly. And that's when I started being funny is to like supplement.

• 14:44Lewis Howes?

  To get attention or to be seen.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  To be seen.

• 14:47Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Do you think if you were, I mean, you're a beautiful woman, but if you think that you were like your sister's beauty or whatever, that people saw.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  I'd be way less interesting.

• 14:56Lewis Howes?

  What would you be, what would you be on your life right now?

• 14:58Speaker 01

  She's a teacher.

• 14:59Lewis Howes?

  She's a teacher.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  She's a happy teacher. I'd be, I'd be a happy teacher with kids. I wouldn't need this like approval from strangers, from, uh, from celebrities, from other people I admire. I wouldn't seek it out so much, but I just want to be extraordinary because I felt, I don't want to be average. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be not seen because I felt that way so much. So I think that's it. But it's, it started there and then, I mean, and then since then, it's just like.

• 15:28Lewis Howes?

  So what do you, I mean, what is it you're chasing right now?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Happiness.

• 15:34Lewis Howes?

  On a scale of one to 10, 10 being like blissful, happy, what are you right now?

• 15:38Speaker 01

  I'm like a seven. I'm pretty happy. I'm overworked, but I'm really happy. But you know what I would really like? Like I've been, this coronavirus has got me thinking about if I died tomorrow, what would? I've achieved everything career-wise.

• 15:52Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 15:52Speaker 01

  That I've wanted to.

• 15:53Lewis Howes?

  What have you not achieved?

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Hosting SNL, that's it.

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  That'd be pretty cool.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  That's the last one.

• 15:58Lewis Howes?

  Cause you did Dancing with the Stars, which I want to do someday. Cause I'm a salsa dancer. I've been dancing semi-professionally for 15 years.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 16:05Lewis Howes?

  Around the world.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Dude, you need to get on that show. It's so fun. You'll love it so much.

• 16:11Lewis Howes?

  It seems like a blast.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  You'll, the, the, it's, it's, talk about intimacy with your partner. I mean, dancing four hours a day with someone. I mean, you get it.

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  Did you get intimate? Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like fell in love with him. He was married, but like, in Mars, like, you know, and, and his wife even was like, they talk about like, this happens every season, like.

• 16:28Lewis Howes?

  There's like a romance, a love, it's like a story.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Everyone on the show bonds with their partner in a way that would make, but dancers are very like, they understand that that is a different bond than like a marriage. And that it's gonna be a crush, there's gonna be a flirtation and stuff, but that's what makes the dance good is that you have chemistry. So they're able to like, like, they're all just so much more fluid and comfortable with their bodies and sexuality. And that, that experience actually really made me a lot more comfortable, like, being sexy, cause I've, you know, I really struggle with that. I just, I don't see myself that way. And I, I rarely do. Like, the only time I ever feel like sexy is if I'm like legit, like horny. Like, I don't, otherwise, I'm just like, I'm a kid.

• 17:13Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  And it's, like I said, it takes a lot to get me horny. Like, guys are so.

• 17:17Lewis Howes?

  They don't have the combo. They don't have the combo.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Slow it down, all of you. The girl should be the one moving it along, I think, or I would like to be.

• 17:24Lewis Howes?

  The key is to get into a relationship where you actually don't make a move and the girl is so turned on, she can't stop. She has to like essentially rip your shirt off.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 17:37Lewis Howes?

  And that's when you're like, okay, I've done everything I can to like. Connect to her, to be intimate, to be vulnerable, to love, to support, to be fun, like everything else.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Although.

• 17:48Lewis Howes?

  You can make a move and kiss, but I mean like.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I really like getting like.

• 17:51Lewis Howes?

  That's fine.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Potted on pretty hard. Like that would be a thing like.

• 17:53Lewis Howes?

  No, it's like flirtation. Like.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:55Lewis Howes?

  You can flirt all day.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:56Lewis Howes?

  But you're saying, don't make a move like getting in there. We have a lot of things in common that I I learned about. We're both grew, we both were born in Ohio.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Born in Ohio.

• 18:06Lewis Howes?

  You were Cincinnati, I was Columbus.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:09Lewis Howes?

  We both lived in St. Louis. I lived there for about seven years through middle school through college.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  I mean, a formative time.

• 18:15Lewis Howes?

  Right. Very formative. I left, actually, I begged my parents to send me away in eighth grade to go to St. Louis.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Really?

• 18:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, cuz I felt, I just did a post of my, whatever, like seven-year-old self, a photo from me. And I put on the top, I was like, too stupid, too ugly, too skinny, too goofy. And just talking about the insecurities that I had as a kid because girls wanna talk to me. So it was like I had to develop a skill so that I could survive, right? So we have a lot of things in common.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you felt ugly too?

• 18:45Lewis Howes?

  All the time. Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Really?

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Why? When did that start for you?

• 18:48Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I was like this tall when I was like 11 years old. So it was like this, you know, and I had big teeth and they were all crooked and everything. And um.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  When did girls start liking you?

• 18:58Lewis Howes?

  It's probably like in high school when I started the development of my body. I I just, I had no friends growing up, like literally zero friends. And I just played sports all day by myself. And I remember getting picked, kinda like you, you had a time, what was it, fourth grade you said, fifth grade?

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:14Lewis Howes?

  The buck-toothed beaver thing. I had a time in fourth grade as well where I was picked last on a dodgeball team. Like our class went out to play recess dodgeball. And there were two captains and they were like the two popular kids. And they picked all the guys first, and then they picked all the girls, and then I was the last one after all the girls. So it was like a fourth grader being picked after the girls was like, super embarrassing. It was like the lowest of low at that time, right? And I just remember being like, no one likes me, no one loves me, no one cares about me. I'm alone. And I can either one kill myself.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Got in for you were thinking these.

• 19:52Lewis Howes?

  Yes. And I would go into the principal's office and get in trouble all the time. And I was just like, I wish I were dead. I wish I would. Why am I even here? If no one cares about me, why, why be alive?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:02Lewis Howes?

  So it was either kill myself. Luckily, I wasn't like doing suicidal things, but I just had these thoughts and I would say it. Or it was like, I'm going to become the biggest, fastest, strongest human being I can be. So no one can ever hurt me. I'm going to be the best athlete. So I'm never picked the last again. And that's what I did. So from fourth grade until, you know, now essentially, I was just like, I'm going to be the best athlete possible. And I played six hours a day of basketball and football, whatever it was, I went all in. And so I was always picked first. It was just like, that was my skill. And so once I had that skill, then women would see me as like the all star athlete or whatever it is. And I started to develop as a human being and I started to learn and grow and.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  And be able to have friendships.

• 20:46Lewis Howes?

  And have conversations and not be embarrassed all the time. And.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:49Lewis Howes?

  And I also created a challenge for myself. Um, when I was 16, because I was terrified to talk to girls, even though I was getting more attention, I was still, I didn't know how to speak.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:58Lewis Howes?

  It's like, uh, hi, you know, it's like, what do you say to a girl when you're attracted to them as a teenage boy?

• 21:02Speaker 01

  I don't even know now what you would say. It's like giving me anxiety thinking about it.

• 21:06Lewis Howes?

  So I created a challenge myself in the summer when I was 16. I was like, every time I feel butterflies around a girl. That I see on the street or whatever, at the basketball court or at the gym, whatever it is, I'm going to go up to them and start a conversation. I'm going to run across the street and say hi to them. I'm going to turn around at the grocery store and speak. And for three months, I talked to girls every single day that I was terrified to talk to. And I fumbled, I had no clue what I was doing. No one teaches you this. You have to mess up and learn. And by the end of the summer, I felt so confident. I could talk to anyone and I'd still get rejected a lot, but I just didn't care anymore.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Because just the sheer number of rejection, like.

• 21:46Lewis Howes?

  I was just like, okay, I'm still alive. Yeah, I'm alive and I still have this friend and I, you know, I'm healthy and.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 21:52Lewis Howes?

  That's why I asked you before, I was like, okay, if they abandon you and then what?

• 21:55Speaker 01

  And then what? I love that you said that.

• 21:57Lewis Howes?

  And then what?

• 21:57Speaker 01

  And then what?

• 21:58Lewis Howes?

  Uh, I still have my career and I'm still healthy and my family's there and.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  You know, I think the and then what is that I am, I don't like being. When I get romantically jilted, it really throws me off in a way that it it makes me a person I don't like. I get vindictive. I get, um, I just channel this like Taylor Swift of like, he will pay. I want to write about him. I want.

• 22:24Lewis Howes?

  Why do women do that?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Because you hurt us so much and we trusted you.

• 22:29Lewis Howes?

  We hurt you or you hurt yourself? You allowed yourself to feel something?

• 22:33Speaker 01

  This is the thing. I have allowed myself to be hurt by many of these men. The men that hurt me last year, I have a couple that like, I look at it and I say, the red flags were there. All of your friends knew that this was bad news.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  You had a choice to leave at any time.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  I had a choice to not do those things with him and build that intimacy when I knew it was going to fall apart. But I I did choose it. But at the same time, I also have have avoided a lot of people by by being like, no, this is not good. I know I'm I'm gonna, sometimes guys trick you into thinking it's gonna be more than it is. And I don't mean that they trick, they don't intentionally do it. I think there are some guys that do that, but there are some guys that think this is becoming something and we're gonna, this is leading to, and you think, oh, my God, this might be a guy that is my boyfriend, that might be my husband. I'm like, I'm thirty five. When I think about a boyfriend, I'm like, is this it? And you start getting excited. You start fantasizing about it because, and people go, Nikki, don't fantasize.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  It's like, well, if I don't fantasize, I don't have anything because I haven't had a boyfriend in so long. So the fantasy is like so fun, the crush, the buildup of it. And then when that guy meets someone else, decides he doesn't like you anymore, is also too scared of intimacy himself and rejects you. It is devastating and I can't work as hard and I'm too, I'm so scared of that pain. I think that's what I'm really scared of is just being hurt.

• 23:52Lewis Howes?

  You know what's crazy? I feel like until you fully fall in love with that pain, you're not gonna be able to fully throw yourself into a relationship.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Fall in love with the pain?

• 24:01Lewis Howes?

  In a sense of like, I'm not saying I want you to go through pain and experience a lot of it, but you need to be okay with it, I think. And it's like accepting yourself in the pain.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:13Lewis Howes?

  Like, when, do you feel like you've ever fully accepted who you are?

• 24:16Speaker 01

  No, no. I feel like I'm, I don't even.

• 24:20Lewis Howes?

  You're always gonna be hurt. You're always gonna be hurt if you never accept who you are.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  It's, it's, I'm trying. Like, I am doing everything to accept who I am. It's like.

• 24:28Lewis Howes?

  What don't you accept about yourself?

• 24:29Speaker 01

  I don't accept, um, being average. I won't accept that's their.

• 24:34Lewis Howes?

  You're not average.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  But I. You know, I won't accept that.

• 24:39Lewis Howes?

  What does average mean? In what area of life? In your career, as a stand-up comic, as a show host, as a girlfriend, as a daughter?

• 24:48Speaker 01

  I just don't know why.

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  As a sister.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  I mean, I just want the best of everything and I always think that there's something better, I guess. And I don't, maybe that's it. I don't know what I don't accept about myself. I mean, clearly looks are a thing that I'm struggling with. You just have to get there, but I don't, easier said than done. And that's what I get, I get so mad, because a lot of times, I think women, when I talk about these things, women who are so in the body positivity, community, kind of bristle at me saying, I think looks matter and I wish I were prettier and it makes me depressed that I'm not. I can't help that and it would be a lie for me to be like, I love myself. And so I want to be there. I'm would kill to have that kind of lizzo confidence.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  But it's just not there for me yet.

• 25:37Lewis Howes?

  No, I get it. I mean, like, my entire life, I feel very confident. I feel like I love myself. I believe in myself, but I've never had a six-pack. Like, it's almost there, but it's like, gosh, I wish I didn't have like this little layer of like, fat in my stomach. And I've always had messed up teeth. And when I was 16, I also had eight teeth removed because I was going to get braces. I had my four wisdom teeth removed in St. Louis.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Dude, I had eight teeth removed.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Shut up. You did not.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  I swear to God, people never believed me when I said I had eight teeth removed.

• 26:11Lewis Howes?

  Look at this.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  They took out so many teeth.

• 26:14Lewis Howes?

  These two here, these two here, and then my four wisdom. So I got them taken out and I never got braces because it was football season coming up and I didn't want to have like a mouthguard.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  I had the same.

• 26:25Lewis Howes?

  And so I went 20, probably, it was miserable. I was like. For two weeks, just like, oh, you know, with gauze in my mouth. It was so painful. Misery.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  I remember getting those little cases of all my teeth.

• 26:36Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh. It's nuts, right? And so that's crazy.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Then I got braces.

• 26:41Lewis Howes?

  You got braces. You have great teeth.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  And they all shoved them together.

• 26:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So I never got braces because I didn't want to. I was like, kept pushing it off and it's been 20 years.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:49Lewis Howes?

  And I'm always insecure about my smile. And even though it doesn't look that bad, it's like, you notice it. You know, when you're in the mirror and you notice it, you feel it. You're like, ah.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter if people don't.

• 26:59Lewis Howes?

  And I got gaps when you look on the side and it's like, I finally was like, you know what? Six months ago, I was like, screw it. I'm getting Invisalign. So I wear Invisalign now and I'm like, you know what? I don't even care. I'm just going to smile and people are going to see it and I'm going to accept myself through the discomfort.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:12Lewis Howes?

  It's not like perfect. It's not perfect and people will say something, but I'm like, I'm working on myself to get better.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:18Lewis Howes?

  So I, I want to be better. I'm not happy with where I'm at, with my stomach, with my teeth, but it's like, I'm training every day. I'm eating clean. I'm seeing improvement and that's all I can do is like,

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  I'm not 100% satisfied, but I still love and accept myself of where I'm at and where I'm going. And I'm proud of every single day of taking the actions.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 27:39Lewis Howes?

  To improve. So it's like, I feel the movement. It's getting better. I'm, you know, I'm taking care of myself. I'm eating clean. It's like the ritual every day and the routine, which is helping me like be okay and be in peace.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:52Lewis Howes?

  As opposed to like looking myself in the mirror and be like, why are you so ugly every day? Like, because I used to be that way too.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  But you have money. You can do something like we can any, the problem is that

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  I didn't have money 10 years ago.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  I know, but

• 28:07Lewis Howes?

  Broke.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Right. Me too. But now that we do, you can do things to be hotter.

• 28:12Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  No one would notice.

• 28:14Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  That no one, like everyone goes, don't get work done. Okay. Well, the hot deeds. Yeah. But they look hotter because they've had it and the work is so good that you don't notice it. So I hate that argument. That's what I struggle with is I can afford to spend money on things.

• 28:28Lewis Howes?

  Do these things.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. If it there or should I just?

• 28:30Lewis Howes?

  Happier.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  But will that, I mean, I'm not going to be able to put it off forever. Eventually I will be in my like seventies and it's gonna all fade.

• 28:37Lewis Howes?

  I think it's, I think you, listen, if you want to do work on yourself or if you, if it's going to make you happier, I think it's like a both and I'm not saying like, don't do work on yourself. If you want to put like, I'm not a fan of like injections and all these things in your face personally, like my personal preference when women do that. But if it's like, it's gonna make you feel something, you know, if you've got like, I don't know, your nose is all the way over to your side of the face and it really frustrates you every day and you can fix it.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 29:02Lewis Howes?

  Okay, fix it. If your teeth are jacked up and you wanna fix it, like, I'm fixing it.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  I know, I-

• 29:05Lewis Howes?

  I'm not doing veneers, but I'm doing like braces.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  The fact that you said the braces thing, cuz I got invisalign cuz I wanted to fix this one buck tooth, right?

• 29:12Lewis Howes?

  I see, noticing, can't even notice it until you said it.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  This one sticks out a little bit more than this one.

• 29:16Lewis Howes?

  You have the invisalign on.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  And I have the invisalign, little bump on. So I got invisalign, it didn't work for me because they couldn't fix, this is the only reason I got it done and they couldn't, I went through three years of invisalign, I'm not joking you. Uh, three different sets of like fourteen trays.

• 29:31Lewis Howes?

  They tried different things.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Yes. And they couldn't fix it, sometimes it's just unmovable. And so I was like, I, but this bothers me, no one notices, but if ever I see it in every picture, it stops, it, now I smile like this all the time.

• 29:41Lewis Howes?

  Shut up, no.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  And I have a great smile and I-

• 29:43Lewis Howes?

  You do have a great smile.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  But it's, it bothers me so much that I can't take it and I can't, so I'm like, I'm gonna get regular braces. I'm gonna have six months of f***ing regular braces.

• 29:52Lewis Howes?

  And be amazing teeth, and then it's done for the rest of your life.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  Yes, and then it's done.

• 29:56Lewis Howes?

  It's done. Time is happening, it's moving.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  So, I'm gonna get eight more teeth taken out so they can do the braces.

• 30:01Lewis Howes?

  I can't believe you had eight teeth all at the same time?

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:04Lewis Howes?

  For one, one time?

• 30:05Speaker 01

  And no one ever believes me, but this was a St. Louis friend.

• 30:08Lewis Howes?

  This is-

• 30:08Speaker 01

  And people don't believe that we had to tell jokes to get Halloween candy. That's another St. Louis thing, you have to trick or treat, you have to tell a joke.

• 30:15Lewis Howes?

  And they say soda, it's St. Louis.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, we say soda.

• 30:18Lewis Howes?

  I grew up saying pop in Ohio.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 30:20Lewis Howes?

  So I'd always make fun of people saying soda, and then I was like, okay, no, it's soda.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wonder why you didn't have friends.

• 30:24Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly. What else is a St. Louis thing that's different?

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Um, racism, uh, uh, yeah, segregation, um, alcoholism, um, toasted raviolis, I mean,

• 30:39Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I love to-

• 30:40Speaker 01

  So many fun things.

• 30:41Lewis Howes?

  Wait a minute, is toasted ravioli not a thing anywhere else?

• 30:43Speaker 01

  No, that's a St. Louis thing.

• 30:45Lewis Howes?

  Cuz I, when in school, we had toasted raviolis every day.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, all the time.

• 30:48Lewis Howes?

  And I was like, this is incredible.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, you almost, it was almost as-

• 30:51Lewis Howes?

  But I'm like, where is toasted ravioli at every restaurant I go to?

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:53Lewis Howes?

  It's only in St. Louis?

• 30:54Speaker 01

  It's only in St. Louis.

• 30:54Lewis Howes?

  I didn't know that.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, they should put it everywhere.

• 30:56Lewis Howes?

  What's the, Fritz's, Fritz's or?

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Fritz's, Root Beer, Emo's Pizza.

• 31:00Lewis Howes?

  Emo's, oh, the thin crust is my jam.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's so good.

• 31:03Lewis Howes?

  I never liked Chicago deep crust.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I like it, I like it all, but-

• 31:06Lewis Howes?

  You like deep?

• 31:07Speaker 01

  I like, well, I like a lot of, I like a thin crust and a lot of sauce, so the deep dish, you get a thin crust and like just all sauce.

• 31:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  It's, I don't know, it's a, it's a mess. Yeah, I'll, I'll- I'm not big into pizza, but.

• 31:18Lewis Howes?

  I have so many, I have so many questions. I want to go for like three more hours with this.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  I know, I know, we could talk for.

• 31:23Lewis Howes?

  We only have 10 minutes, so I need to be, I need to be intentional with my, my last few questions here. What's the funniest joke you've ever told? In your mind, the funniest joke you feel like you were like, man, that, I hit it. It like, I was in the pocket.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  You know, one joke that I wrote that I was so proud of, because it took a bit of work. Um, man, okay, so it was a roast joke that I did and it, and it, it was, uh, because I recently watched an old roast set of mine. But as soon as I do a special, I just dump all the material and I truly forget all of it. People will be like, do that one joke? And I'm like, I don't even remember that subject matter. I don't even know where I'd begin to conjure up that joke. But this one, because it's a one liner, um, so the, the people on the, the first roast I did was the Bruce Willis. No, it was Rob, Rob Lowe and Ralph Macchio, Karate Kid was on the dais. And then also Jimmy Carr, who is a comedian, was on the dais. And I said, you know, I was going through everyone.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  And then each person you just go like, you say their name and then you go into a joke about them. And I was like, Jimmy A. Carr is what Ralph Macchio has to do to find a place to sleep at night. And that one I love because I remember like trying to figure out what to say about either of them. And I was like, Jimmy Carr, what's, if you Jimmy something, it's like getting in it in a car. God, if, if there was Jimmy Carr doesn't mean like, you can't Jimmy Carr. It would be Jimmy A. Carr. Wait, what if his middle initial is A? It's fucking A. His middle initial, it was like Alexander or something was his middle initial. And I was like, this is a fucking joke from the heavens. Like the math just worked out on it. So that one was in terms of like working on it. That was one I was really proud of.

• 33:04Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like the?

• 33:07Lewis Howes?

  The space of comedy right now, everyone is super on their toes of like, you know, walking on eggshells of like, can I go this far? Am I allowed to talk about this subject?

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:16Lewis Howes?

  Or is it gonna ruin my career?

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:18Lewis Howes?

  You know, is one tweet gonna ruin my career? Is one thing I said on a college tour gonna ruin it? Is one thing on a podcast?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:24Lewis Howes?

  If I said something too far, is everyone gonna hold on to that for decades?

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:29Lewis Howes?

  As like, I'm this bad person, or I said something that can never be talked about? Even though this is the profession of comedy?

• 33:36Speaker 01

  It's, it is scary and I gotta be honest, I flirt with that line a lot because there's a part of me that wants to get it, wants like, I'm really tired and I would like to, like, one of my jobs to get canceled.

• 33:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So you're kinda like, I wanna say whatever I want, I wanna be free to say it and?

• 33:54Speaker 01

  I know I'm a good person. I know I'm not racist. I know I'm not, um, I have, I have, uh, behaviors that are informed by the fact that I was raised in an all-white community and didn't grow up with black people around me. So there are things that I have to try so much harder to not be, not, to not be racist. I was raised in St. Louis.

• 34:16Lewis Howes?

  Which school did you go to again?

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Kirkwood.

• 34:17Lewis Howes?

  Kirkwood, yeah, yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  And we, we had black kids at our school. Thank God.

• 34:20Lewis Howes?

  I went to church in Kirkwood for a little bit.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Oh, really? Yeah. But I, I, what I'm saying is that I, I am not perfect by any means and, and for someone to be like, I've never had a racist thought. It's like, you can't help sometimes if you have a racist thought and it's not, never comes from me from a place of hate, but it just comes from a place of misunderstanding and I'll admit to that. So if someone, here's a joke I said and says she's racist, I know I'm not, so I'm okay with that and I have made peace with that. And if someone goes, you're sexist, you're whatever, you're a bad person. I just, I've struggled so much in my life thinking I'm a bad person and I really have made peace with the fact that, no, you're not, Nikki. You're in pain and maybe you lash out sometimes, but deeply you want everyone in the world to be happy. I'm deeply empathetic.

• 35:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  I don't wanna ever hurt anyone. So I just have to hold on to that, cuz if I do get canceled, the thing that would devastate me the most is having people think I'm a bad person. And as long as I focus and know that I'm not within myself, which is truly all that matters, then I don't need to be so scared all the time. Because I think the people that are most scared are the people that are actually racist.

• 35:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  And they should be scared because you know, I don't know, I just feel like the consequences for if I get canceled for something I've said that's really insensitive on a podcast 10 years ago, I will be able to look at that and be like, yuck, I should be, I shouldn't be allowed to work at that show because of those things that I said, there should be a punishment for that because you're not supposed to talk that way and it's a different time. So I feel, you know, sometimes the punishment doesn't fit the crime, but I'm willing to accept things I've said in the past that probably could get me canceled and be like, yeah, I said it and I regret it.

• 35:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Um, God, I feel like I want to talk so much more. We have, we have five minutes. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna be kind and wrap it up. Uh, this is a question I ask him one at the end. It's called the three truths question. So imagine it's your last day on earth many years from now. You've lived hundreds of years. You've extended your life. You've done everything you want to do. You've done every comedy tour. You've hosted SNL 20 times. You've, you own SNL, whatever it is you want to do, you've done it.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Okay. I have a boyfriend.

• 36:24Lewis Howes?

  You've got a husband who's the hottest man in the world, who loves you and tells you how beautiful you are every single day and every house of you is amazing.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  We still have a great sex life.

• 36:34Lewis Howes?

  Everything. He's all the things, right? You've got everything you want. Uh, you've achieved everything.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 36:39Lewis Howes?

  Everything you want, you've made happen.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Okay. Friends with Taylor Swift.

• 36:43Lewis Howes?

  Everything.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 36:44Lewis Howes?

  And it's your last day and for whatever reason, this hypothetical situation, everything's got to go with you that you've created in the world. All your content, all your specials, all your work, all your, this podcast, everything's gone. It goes with you to the next place.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 37:00Lewis Howes?

  But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Three things.

• 37:03Lewis Howes?

  Three lessons you've learned in your life, three morals, three somethings that you would then share with the world. What would you say are your three truths?

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Number one, I would say that, um, animals have feelings and especially mammals, pigs and chickens and goats and cows and ducks have all the same feelings and sadness and terror. They feel all those things that your little dog feels, the dog that you love so much that you never want to feel any, I was, I was holding my dog yesterday. My parents are in town and I gave my dog to my parents because I couldn't have them in New York, but I got to hold her yesterday and I was just like, I just want to, I, I don't want her to feel any anxiety ever. And then I was thinking about, she was shaking because she was cold and I was like, thinking about all the animals right now. That have been born into these terrible lives where they're just born to die.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  And they're, they spend their whole lives terrified and shaking. And I just wish humans had more empathy for animals. Just because we're more intelligent does not mean that we, it just, it, I wish people could understand it and have this and everyone would make a move towards veganism. So that's what I'd wish people could really understand is like, yeah, I'm full vegan and like, it's, it's hard and it sucks and I don't get to have things I love. But you don't get to do everything you want to do. Cause sometimes it's not right.

• 38:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  And what we're doing to animals is not right. And so that's one thing I would leave behind. Um, another thing I would leave behind is I think women do things and men too. You don't have to do anything sexual you don't want to do. It is totally okay to make someone feel awkward about what they have just suggested you do. Cause I think a lot of times we just go, oh, I have to do this because he thought I was supposed to do this right now. So maybe I didn't get the schedule sent to me, but okay. So now's the second time. Okay. You can, you, don't be scared to make a situation awkward because you feel unsafe. So many times things happen because you go, this guy is creeping me out, but I don't want to be weird and say that. So I'm going to keep walking with him, even though his,

• 39:09Speaker 01

  right behind me, he's not feeling safe. Instead of running or being like, what are you doing?

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Cause that would be awkward. That, make it awkward.

• 39:15Lewis Howes?

  Make it awkward.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  Make it awkward. And also, um,

• 39:20Speaker 01

  meditate. Please meditate. It is the greatest gift to mankind is the ability to sit in silence. It's free. It's, and it will change your life and meditation is truly the one thing like, nothing has helped me as much with, with my anxiety and my depression as meditation. I was truly someone who was like really suffering and wanted to like, have, I was like, God, am I gonna have to get? Like lobotomized, like my thoughts are so dark and my life is so good, but I can't get out of this hole. And then when I started meditating, doing TM twice a day, it just saved my life. And I, I haven't meditated in two days and it's the longest I've gone in two years because my schedule has been so slammed here and I'm off, man.

• 40:03Lewis Howes?

  And the coronavirus is happening.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  I mean, it is crazy. So meditation is the key. And let me just one more truth about meditation. Anyone listening who says, I can't, and you just think you're special enough to be like, I'm too OCD. My thoughts are too much. I, I run too high strung. You're not special. Sorry. Everyone feels that way about meditation. It is not about not having thoughts. I know that's scary. I, how could I not have thoughts? It's not about that. Anyone can meditate. I know you, right now, being like, I can't, I'm different. I have ADHD. I have this. You're, everyone can med, even you, ADHD. You can meditate and it will improve your life so much and it's free. There is no excuse not to do it.

• 40:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  You can do it.

• 40:47Lewis Howes?

  You can do it for a couple of minutes. Doesn't that take 20 minutes? It can be five.

• 40:50Speaker 01

  And it's the gentlest practice. You can't do it wrong.

• 40:52Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:53Lewis Howes?

  I love that. These are great truths.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 40:55Lewis Howes?

  Thank you. Um, where can we support you?

• 40:58Speaker 01

  You can check out my tour dates at nickyglazer.com/tour. And I have a podcast called You Up. And I also have a Sirius XM show called You Up with Nikki Glaser every morning on Sirius Channel 95, Comedy Central Radio.

• 41:07Lewis Howes?

  You got that down.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 41:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Check her out on Instagram as well. You post a lot of comedy stuff, but also I love the positivity you post out there.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 41:16Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate you, acknowledge you for, for showing up and constantly allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the messiness. For the fact that you talked openly about all these things for me is really inspiring. So I want to acknowledge you for that. I want to acknowledge you from being, from St. Louis and we have that in common. We have eight teeth missing. So, um, I think it's really, I think it's really powerful that you're willing to open up and express yourself in the discomfort of like, I don't have it all figured out and I'm still trying to, you know, feel attracted to myself and I'm still trying to do this and I'm, I feel like I need to be great all the time and I'm scared of this. So I, I really want to acknowledge you for that because I think it's important for people to hear that.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't get it figured out.

• 41:54Lewis Howes?

  And none of us do.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  But I'm trying, but we're all trying and I think we need to be honest about trying because it, it feels bad when you see someone that does have it all together and you're like, I'll never be like them. I like hearing about the struggle. So thank you for letting me share it.

• 42:05Lewis Howes?

  My final question for you is, what is your definition of greatness?

• 42:09Speaker 01

  What is my definition of greatness? Um, my definition of greatness is...

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Achieving happiness and being kind while doing it.

• 42:21Lewis Howes?

  Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did, please share it over on social media. Make sure to tag me, tag Nikki, and let her know what you thought of this episode, as I'm sure she'd love to hear your thoughts. Also, please subscribe to the School of Greatness over on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts. And if you can, click that subscribe button and leave us a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. That helps us spread the message of greatness to more people. And you can truly make an impact on someone's life today just by texting them this link, lewishouse.com/995. Or just take the link wherever you're listening to this, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you're listening to your podcast. And also, if you want inspirational

• 43:04Lewis Howes?

  messages from me every single week, just text the word right now on your phone, "PODCAST." Text that word right now, "PODCAST," to 614-350-3960, and you'll get text messages from me every single week. And don't forget, laughter is the best medicine. And I don't know who said that, but there's a reason we all know this saying. I hope you remember that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter today. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.