Fraud Friday: The Deceitful Disappearing Act w/ Tahir Moore

In this week's Fraud Friday, Laci is joined by Tahir Moore (The Unhitch King, Insecure) to discuss John Darwin, a British man who faked his death and disappearance to avoid a mountain of debt. Plus, a home in Virginia was put on the market with an occupant still living in the basement. Stay Schemin’! (Originally Released 05/30/2022) CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show, Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Did you miss out on a custom signed Scam Goddess: Lessons from a Life of Cons, Grifts and Schemes book? Look no more, nab your copy here on PODSWAG Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Tahir Moore: @tahirmoore Research by Kaelyn Brandt SOURCES: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-i-exposed-the-curious-case-of-canoe-man-john-darwin-0krwmnlkw https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tyne-37551735 https://www.axios.com/local/washington-dc/2022/04/13/fairfax-squatter-house-under-contract https://www.fox5dc.com/news/fairfax-home-sells-for-more-than-800k-despite-occupant-living-in-basement https://www.vice.com/en/article/bvn4zd/john-darwin-canoe-man-true-story

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 1:15Speaker 01

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• 1:45Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays, where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess Vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the paywall, and as always, stay schemin'.

• 2:26Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, Webby Award winner for the second time, Scam Goddess. Y'all know I wouldn't have won that award without y'all, without scamming, honey. Love y'all so much, shout out to the congregation. Uh, guys, I am very... Yes, that's right, elated. Ooh, see, I switched it up on y'all, but no, I am excited. I'm extremely excited for today's guest. This is a repeat guest, this is a fan favorite, a very hilarious comedian in his own right that I am so happy that I could snag because he is a buh buh buh buh buh and buh buh buh busy. So, you know, when you can scam a king into coming, you gotta do so. You absolutely just have to do so.

• 3:08Laci Mosley?

  Guys, today we have a returning member of the congregation and he's back on the show like he never left. Hilarious comedian, actor, influencer, check out his podcast, Damn Internet, you scary. It's very funny. Also, check out his stand-up comedy on Everything Bagel Tour this summer. And, you know, I normally will, like, run down more things, but like, I'm gonna kick it to him because he's actually going on a tour tour where you could, like, see him in person. Don't run up on stage and Dave Chappelle him, okay? He's a sweet man and he's very funny. But definitely see him live and get your kicks on Route 66 and maybe bring your spouse or your partner or whoever you just met on Tinder, y'all can yuck it up, sit in the front row, maybe they'll talk about you a little bit. To hear more, to hear more.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:53Laci Mosley?

  Where can people see you to hear more?

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Well, first of all, let me say, I'm very impressed that Lacey memorized all of that and she did not read it. That was super impressive, man.

• 4:03Laci Mosley?

  The lines, I love it. We started with lines already.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  So, the tour is called The Villain Tour, it's a comedy tour, me and my homegirl, Todd Davis. Everything Bagel Tour is the same domain. Kev always calls me Everything Bagel.

• 4:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh, is it because of your freckles?

• 4:20Speaker 03

  It's because of my freckles. So, I just went ahead and bought the domain and I had... It just leads to the same website for the tickets, so it's ashtohearmore.com. So you could just go to either one of those and everything else is on the on social media, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know how it goes. Everything is, I mean, I'm pretty accessible in these streets, you know what I'm saying?

• 4:36Laci Mosley?

  You really are. And your socia's are, wait, can you drop your handles real quick? I normally don't do this, but your socia's are so fucking funny and fun.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Just to hear more, like you just search the name T A H I R M O O R E on all platforms. It pops up on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. I I'm not really on Tik like like that. They keep blocking my my, they keep muting my videos.

• 4:57Laci Mosley?

  I'm scared of TikTok. I'm on there and like because of Icarly, like I I have a decent following. But like I'd be so scared on TikTok because the girls on TikTok are mean.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  All they want to do is cancel you.

• 5:08Laci Mosley?

  Ooh, they love to drag you.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  And then they cancel you. It's like when people come in like this one dude. I made a video about Rick Ross buying too many cars. I was like, somebody need to check on him because he's going through what I went through.

• 5:18Laci Mosley?

  Too many cars.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, like when when you when you're just stuck in the house, you just be buying stuff.

• 5:21Laci Mosley?

  You went through a twenty car phase?

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Well, no, I was I was buying stuff. I didn't have car money. I was buying twenty shoes.

• 5:26Laci Mosley?

  I I, okay. I've gone to stores and bought a lot of things because I was sad.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  I needed something to like make me look forward to the next day. And this dude slid into my DMs and was like, yo, you weak. You just wish you had Rick Ross money. I was like, I started the video with saying I wish I had his money. Like that's. They like people will pick on you, but if you say something back, then people are like, oh, you're a bully.

• 5:45Laci Mosley?

  Now, was this man Rick Ross's cousin or something? Why was he standing so hard for Rick Ross?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  He was just pocket watching. He was just, he's just a Ross fan. I don't know. I don't know.

• 5:53Laci Mosley?

  Billionaire stan.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  It's giving just weird stan.

• 5:57Laci Mosley?

  Right. And I've said that I like, look, I don't get how y'all stand like rich people like. What do you do to stand a rich person? Because like if you stand in an actor or a comedian or a musician or an artist. It's like, yo, you look at their paintings. Oh, you listen to their music and you love to dance or oh, you watch their material. If you stand a billionaire, what do you just got a photo of Elon Musk up? Do you twerk to his Forbes quotes? What do you do? How does that? How is that fun?

• 6:21Speaker 03

  He got a portrait, a picture of of Teslas, like all every different type of Tesla on his wild. I don't know, man. Like, I just, you know, I just think it's funny when people. They come in my inbox and they they expect because maybe they view me as such a status that I will never respond. But I be having time, okay? Busy, but I work a lot from home.

• 6:39Laci Mosley?

  It's a matter of minutes in the day.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Oh, baby. Let me tell you, free wifi all day, okay? And I'm gonna snap back hard and vicious. Like, don't play with me. I don't come at the audience like when she said you can send the audience, he might mess with you. I don't mess with my audience. That's number one. Number two, you run up on the stage, you will get hurt. I have an armed security guard. We've had an armed security guard for the last two years that travels with us.

• 7:02Laci Mosley?

  Oh, wow.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Armed, okay? We not knocking people out. He's armed. We pay him very well to be able to carry that pistol everywhere. So, just be warned.

• 7:13Laci Mosley?

  Not the pew pew, not the pew pew.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Yes, absolutely. I ain't got no time to be fighting with nobody.

• 7:18Laci Mosley?

  Don't get pew pewed at a comedy show.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz that T-shirt gonna be hilarious.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  I'm gonna put you on the tour T-shirt. You gonna be part of the marketing.

• 7:26Laci Mosley?

  They gonna put you in the clouds. Don't do it. Nobody wants to be photoshopped into the clouds.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  It's gonna be the GoFundMe tour. I'm gonna change the name of it.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Fresh place in jokes.

• 7:38Laci Mosley?

  Listen, yeah, you're absolutely right, though. It's like, I get it to a certain extent. People have feelings and they wanna express them. I'm different from you in that respect. I do not clap back for the most part at people.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  You got a certain image.

• 7:53Laci Mosley?

  I don't, it's not even about the image. I just don't want you to feel seen. I won't even block you. I will see your shit and I'll mute you. I won't even block you so you can screenshot it and feel like you saw, like I saw your shit.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Look at God. Look how God be working in your life. See, I'm too petty. I'm too petty. I've done this before.

• 8:10Laci Mosley?

  That's me being petty, though, cuz I'm like, you'll never know that I saw this.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  I like that. I take the different approach. I'm more hands-on.

• 8:17Laci Mosley?

  More hands-on, I love it.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  This guy one time like cut me off, like I had to swerve cuz he made a left into oncoming traffic into my lane.

• 8:23Laci Mosley?

  You know, you know I know this story, right?

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Oh, about me following him home? Yep.

• 8:27Laci Mosley?

  Yep.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  I'm still about that life. I'm still out here.

• 8:30Laci Mosley?

  And this story is behind the paywall, so I'm so sorry, y'all. Stitcher Premium, they be robbing us. Uh, use code scam for, um, a free trial and then you can listen to this story cuz it's a very good story. That's why I remember it. That was like over a year ago.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yes, it was.

• 8:45Laci Mosley?

  I still remember that story cuz it was funny as hell.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 8:47Laci Mosley?

  But which leads me- Into my first question for you. What's your relationship with scams now? Since you've been on the show before, have any scams happened since? Are you loving a scam in particular? Are you perpetrating the scam yourself? It could be anything.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Listen, I, I was jealous initially of everybody that scammed the government with those.

• 9:04Laci Mosley?

  Oh, that PPE?

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Oh, man, I'm saying, what can we say on the show? I'm saying in words going crazy.

• 9:11Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, we, we swears up in here.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  I'm saying niggas going crazy. You hear me? Buying everything, I'm like, fuck, I missed out on that shit, right? And then.

• 9:20Laci Mosley?

  Did you see Pretty Ricky? The blue, what's his name?

• 9:23Speaker 03

  That shit so happened. Blue Flame or what? I don't know none of those guys' names. No disrespect, just wasn't a group that I really follow.

• 9:28Laci Mosley?

  I lived in Miami when I was 13. So, you know, it was like, five in the morning. I'm up having sex with y'all, so horny.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Is that the dance you did for it?

• 9:39Laci Mosley?

  But I was like 13. And I was like, so horny. Oh, no, I was so inappropriate as a child.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  So inappropriate.

• 9:45Laci Mosley?

  My mom got on me one time because I was listening to Say Yes by Flowery. If you know, you know. I was in the car with my parents and at the end of the song, it'd be like.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something.

• 9:56Laci Mosley?

  And my mom was like, shut up, stop.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  I didn't know Janet Jackson was that nasty.

• 10:00Laci Mosley?

  Oh, she said Miss Jackson, if you're nasty.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  I know, but here's the thing, I missed the phase. Like, I was like five, six years too late for all the stuff that came out previously. And when I came up, it was like, like hip hop. So I grew up on, so when I'm, I'm going through making old school playlists and I found the warmth of my mouth from Miss Janet Jackson. I say, hold up, hold up. And then, anytime, oh, Janet has some songs.

• 10:25Laci Mosley?

  Anytime, anyplace. And I love the music video for that because there's like a point where she's outside fucking on the balcony. And there's like an old lady looking from the other balcony.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 10:36Laci Mosley?

  Like a retro porno. Like, when I was a kid and we would get Skinamax, it would always be.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Skinamax.

• 10:42Laci Mosley?

  We'd be in the base, my uncle's converted garage. And we'd be watching Sex Court and all types of shit. And it would be like, oh, they go into the chambers to talk. But you know, they go be fucking. And then it's always like a stenographer who was looking in the window. She'd be like, ooh, this is sexual.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  First of all, good job on using all the jargon associated with court. Uh, that's number one.

• 11:04Laci Mosley?

  Listen, I know court, you gotta know court when you can crime.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  That is true. Number two, I love doing it in public. I am an exhibitionist.

• 11:11Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I be bought that lot.

• 11:13Laci Mosley?

  You going to Amsterdam and whatnot?

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Well, here's the thing, Amsterdam is different. I tried to go to the real life district. It just feels too transactional to me.

• 11:21Laci Mosley?

  Oh, well, that's like, they, they're supposed to have like clubs too. I just know that I saw one of my teachers, uh, like a, like a fifth grade or a sixth grade teacher on, on, um, real sex. And, and the timing really added up because I was like, maybe it's not her. But then the time added up, the shit come back with these clogs and then she said she was.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Well, there you have it. That, yeah. Amsterdam got some good treats, hella cheese, and they definitely got them clogs. I did some good shopping in Amsterdam.

• 11:48Laci Mosley?

  But back to the scams.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Yes, scams. Um, so the P P E, I hate that I, I missed that one, but I'm glad I, I, I did at the end of the day. Oh, they was, they coming to get people still with them scams.

• 11:59Laci Mosley?

  They're like, you're not a farmer?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, listen. I, I mean, it's time for taxes and I was about to, you know, say holler at somebody, but then I remember I had already got flagged for that a couple of years ago. And then the I R S hit me with, um, a letter that, uh, that just, it wore me down for about, for about two weeks. So I was like, you know what, I'm not going, I'm, I've just been good lately.

• 12:19Laci Mosley?

  I mean, look, the I R S is criminally underfunded on purpose so that they can only audit the upper middle class and the middle class. So they don't even go after billionaires for real, for real, because those people can inundate them with paperwork. They can pull up with a U-Haul of paperwork and bury them in out, like labor. So they're like, we'd rather get smaller amounts of coins from people that we can audit quicker than actually go after the people who are siphoning the wealth of this country, which is so fucked. Which means that we're the ones that they're going to come after because that's just how it is. Oh, indeed, indeed.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I am going to get on a billionaire status and just start putting three or four words on each.

• 12:57Laci Mosley?

  You could never be a billionaire to here because you don't want to be responsible for people's murder. I know that you are a sweet man and if you want to be a billionaire, you have to do a couple of murders.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  That's what everybody says. Everybody says you can't become a billionaire without getting your hand, get some, some dirt on your hands.

• 13:10Laci Mosley?

  You literally can.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  It has to be some way.

• 13:13Laci Mosley?

  OSHA scams, Amazon is covered up. You know how many people die on the job and they like sweep, sweep, sweep? They like get that dirt devil out like.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  That is wild.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  That is wild. Damn, that's crazy to think there's no good way to become a billionaire, become that much.

• 13:30Laci Mosley?

  Because you're hoarding wealth at that point. Nobody needs to be a billionaire. No one needs a billion dollars in their lifetime.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  You don't think you need a billion dollars?

• 13:38Laci Mosley?

  Look, could I be cute with a bill? Absolutely.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  You fine now, with a bill, you know? Come on, you got a wig for every room. You walk out of the living room, put on another wig, walk around the kitchen with another, I mean, come on.

• 13:51Laci Mosley?

  If I was a billionaire, I wouldn't even wash my own ass. I have people come scrub me every day. Put makeup on me while I'm in bed, laying down. Straight dolly parting, looking like a bad bitch at 3 a.m. while I'm asleep, like.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I would probably get a dick extension, just to see what it's like. Cause I would never want it like, I've never wanted to be like a porn star.

• 14:10Laci Mosley?

  Nobody wants a dick extension from you.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  You know what, here's the thing though, like, I feel like women do so much, like, they get, you know, implants and they get the butt shots, I just would be interested to see what it's like.

• 14:21Laci Mosley?

  So you just do it in solidarity?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would do it, you know, to support the ladies, but also, I would go back.

• 14:27Laci Mosley?

  Everybody does ab etching.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I've been losing weight, I've been doing it the right way, so, I've been watching my carbs and calories, working out for days.

• 14:35Laci Mosley?

  You look great.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 14:36Laci Mosley?

  But listen, I don't believe in the right way, if you can get a little nip tuck, whatever you can do, whatever you want to do.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  I am not above it.

• 14:43Laci Mosley?

  It's good for you.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  I am not above it.

• 14:45Laci Mosley?

  Or, if like, we're not fat phobic on this podcast, like, if you love your body no matter what size it is, like, that's the body that you popping with, and people need to quit playing, like, America is mostly people who are like, what, the average size is like 14? And then, we literally have all these women and men who are like starving themselves, and I know because I have model friends, and like, I've, you know, sipped on some Sprite flavored poo poo water, like, they got strategies, and it's not healthy.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  I get it, my wife-

• 15:15Laci Mosley?

  Some people are naturally thin, some people aren't, but I'm just saying, like, if you love your body, fuck with your body, if you want to change something about your body, change it.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  I just want to change how my shirts fit, that's it, I want to make sure my, like, my shirt right now fit.

• 15:26Laci Mosley?

  That could be a tailor though.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  But it could fit, yeah, but not for t-shirts, I'm not finna take a $40 t-shirt and just go get tailored. I'm just losing-

• 15:32Laci Mosley?

  Why not?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Seven to eight pounds, Lacey, that's all it, my wife likes me this size.

• 15:36Laci Mosley?

  It's gonna take you longer to do that than it would to tailor the t-shirt.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  I get my pants tailored, all of my jeans are tailored.

• 15:40Laci Mosley?

  I get my pants tailored.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  My t-shirts, I'm not- My wife likes the size, but I be like, "The bitches, though." Right?

• 15:46Laci Mosley?

  But what do you mean, "bitches"? You got a wife, too?

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Hit me out. Hit me out.

• 15:49Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Hit me out.

• 15:50Laci Mosley?

  I'm hearing you out, because this is giving me very, uh, fuckboy rhetoric.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  No, no, no. First of all, fuckboy goes along with scam, so you should be impressed with it. That's number one. Number two, you don't want to just look nice to your spouse. You still want to feel attractive. Like, I feel like women think that guys don't like compliments. Y'all don't be giving us shit in the compliment area.

• 16:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, I didn't give y'all compliments.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  All y'all say, all ladies say is, "Ooh, you smell good. Ooh, that's a nice mouth." Y'all never hit a guy with like, "Damn, you handsome as fuck. I like the way your freckles poppin'."

• 16:19Laci Mosley?

  Maybe because we don't want to sexually harass you, because we got coof, okay? If I say you smell good, you can't go to HR and be like, "She said I smell good."

• 16:26Speaker 03

  That is.

• 16:27Laci Mosley?

  You know what I mean? That's a safe compliment. I can't be like, "Hate to hear, good to see you. That thang is thanging."

• 16:33Speaker 03

  Because it is. I absolutely would prefer... That's exactly why I don't wear drawers with these thin shorts. Because I want you to see this thang thanging. You think I'm just working out the body? No, this penis is getting stroked and poked every night. So, the... Listen, I have two Snicker bars fused into one. The vantage.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  The vantage that I'm walking around every day with. You understand me? That's exactly what I'm doing it for.

• 16:58Laci Mosley?

  Serious, it's been real. I'm gonna go ahead and head out. I'm gonna grab my purse. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go, but actually, uh, I am gonna go for one minute, uh, for some non-scam advertisements. Scams.

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• 19:17Laci Mosley?

  And we are back. And guys, as always, snitch on your friends and family at [email protected]. Just make sure the scam is retired because we don't want a what? Yes, fuck up your bag. Amen. Dear, I need a fake name for this person. We don't care about gender here, it could be anything.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  Dontavious.

• 19:39Laci Mosley?

  Dontavious, love it, love it. So Dontavious says, you know what, Dontavious, I'm gonna read this because it's very short. You said, Dontavious says, first off, absolutely adore you, your energy, chef's kiss on the scamming. Oh, thank you, Dontavious. Because some people are complaining that I don't read the nice things, but I read them to myself. Like, why I gotta read nice things about myself to y'all?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  People want to hear.

• 20:00Laci Mosley?

  Feels, like, Nini Leaks would say, it feels inappropriate.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Mm, that's a hard law.

• 20:06Laci Mosley?

  Why does everyone in Atlanta say inappropriate like that? Like in a poppy it?

• 20:10Speaker 03

  That's all of that.

• 20:12Laci Mosley?

  Where did the R go? So Dontavious says, "This happened a few years ago. My partner was looking for work and got a job offer to work from home. They'd ship packages to our house with a new shipping label inside. He checked them, put the new shipping label on, and then send it off. We'd never seen or heard of the scam before, but it felt fishy." Yeah, cuz why you need a middleman in shipping packages? But y'all did it though.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, they did it.

• 20:38Laci Mosley?

  Love that Dontavious. "So I went and checked out the company, looked up their address and phone number. It all looked legit, real building and everything. But as these packages came in with everything from toys to high-end computer parts, that feeling never went away. Yeah, because why don't we need a middleman for sending packages? I did a little more digging and found out that it was a shipping scam where people would steal other people's information and use it to buy these items. They'd ship them to an unsuspecting person, basically a mule, to throw off their own trail. Once we caught on and we talked to the post office and the police about what to do with these packages, they both told us to ship them back to the scammers.

• 21:19Laci Mosley?

  We said, 'Fuck that,' and kept a number of big-ticket items, including a new switch and some computer parts, figuring if the cops or anyone wasn't gonna do anything, why should we send these back when we could use them or sell them ourselves?"

• 21:33Laci Mosley?

  Dontavious, I feel like y'all did the right thing. Scam the scammers.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  Scam the scammers.

• 21:38Laci Mosley?

  Cuz they were putting a lot of trust in y'all, but at the same time, the scammers already got their coins. So if the person on the other end doesn't get theirs, then y'all both won. Feels like an equal opportunity scam employment.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  I remember one time, I was working at Journeys.

• 21:56Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my goodness, you worked at Journeys? The sneaker place for all of the white children and people who only live around white children like me?

• 22:04Speaker 03

  They had some Tims, okay?

• 22:08Laci Mosley?

  They would have some pink Tims.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, every now and then they came through with something. But I'm working at Journeys and this couple comes in. This card looks funny, looked like a gift card, but it also looked like the swipe part had been... Basically, I think it's like they took the swipe part off of another, somebody else's card, and then taped it or glued it, and they was like, "Oh, it broke in my wallet."

• 22:30Laci Mosley?

  It was given Rush card?

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Oh, listen, big gift card with the credit card swipe energy. So, me and my homeboy, they bind up everything. Then, I was like, "Aight, cool, you're told," and they was like, "Go ahead and get y'all something too." And that's when I knew. That's when I knew these motherfuckers got me. But I went in and got me three pair too. I went in here and did. It definitely happened. But yeah, it was a whole investigation.

• 22:52Laci Mosley?

  I feel like when anybody says, "Get something for yourself," and they're not a close frame, but no, that's, if somebody's giving you, if it seems too good to be true, and you can't figure out where the incentive is coming from...

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Listen, I've missed a lot of vagina because it just seemed too good to be true. Ah, the scams continue!

• 23:11Laci Mosley?

  Well, you know what? We're gonna move into historic hoodwinkings. On that note, before either of us, uh, put ourself in a compromising position, historic hoodwinkings. Today, uh, we're talking about John Darwin. Note up top here, the majority of this research for this article comes from Arby Ward's The Times article, "How I Exposed the Curious Case of the Canoe Man John Darwin," as well as the work of journalist David Lay. So, uh, shouts Caitlin, we always like to give our journalists credits here. We'll also credit those articles in the footnotes if you'd like to visit those articles and read more, share with your friends, or fact-check, because some of y'all, some of y'all really need the facts to be checked. And we got them for you.

• 23:56Laci Mosley?

  So, "When John Darwin disappeared on a morning canoe outing in 2002, the world thought he was dead and had left a mountain of debt behind him. When he miraculously reappeared five years later, it was discovered his story was not as simple as a bout of amnesia." So, John went missing in March 21 of 2002.

• 24:19Laci Mosley?

  Um, I feel like that was like a busy time for America, like 2001, we had nine eleven in September. So you know.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  I graduated 2002.

• 24:28Laci Mosley?

  From where?

• 24:29Speaker 03

  High school.

• 24:29Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:30Laci Mosley?

  Okay. Oh, we're in the vibrant age.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Oh, two?

• 24:33Laci Mosley?

  2009. Yeah. So, um, John Darwin, a prison officer and former teacher, took off in his canoe in the Seton Kero on the Co-Durham coast of England. Okay, I was so British, I should have been talking about this the whole time. Witnesses saw him leaving his home to head off towards the mouth of the river. And this is the River Tees, a busy shipping canal. When his wife Anne returned from her receptionist job later that evening, his car was in the driveway, but he wasn't home.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Hmm. Okay.

• 25:07Laci Mosley?

  That can mean a lot of things to a wife.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:10Laci Mosley?

  Was like John stepping out, was he had, did he have, you know, a couple toes out the door? Does she think he was with somebody else? She reported her husband missing that evening, which was followed by a large-scale search operation. I always, have you ever searched for a missing person?

• 25:26Speaker 03

  I haven't, but that was fast for, maybe they do it fast, I mean, different over there.

• 25:31Laci Mosley?

  You know, America's trash.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, America's trash, they'd be like, he probably wears out a bar drinking. They'll wait forever.

• 25:37Laci Mosley?

  We gotta wait eight weeks and then we'll see if she dead. Is she black? Oh, then we gonna wait a really long time. If it's us, I feel like they go out into the woods, they'd be like, she need to go out?

• 25:47Speaker 03

  They whisper your name out the car.

• 25:50Laci Mosley?

  Okay, she's dead, guys. Somebody want this iPod we found on the trail? It is hers.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:54Laci Mosley?

  But we're not gonna follow the lead. That's why I told my family, I was like, if I go missing, don't tell, don't tell nobody I'm black.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you go.

• 26:02Laci Mosley?

  You better say she had a way about her.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  And Lacey.

• 26:04Laci Mosley?

  You better say she had a smile that could light up a room.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  That part.

• 26:06Laci Mosley?

  She had long Brazilian hair. These are all facts.

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. Somebody gonna, somebody gonna come out when they need a picture to identify. Wait a minute, all this time I thought she was white. Ah, gotcha.

• 26:18Laci Mosley?

  Hey, gotcha, bitch. No, play the podcast. Do not tell people I'm black, they will not look for us. For a long time, I thought that black people didn't go missing.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:26Laci Mosley?

  And then I realized that they just don't look for us.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that's why they don't report on it.

• 26:31Laci Mosley?

  They don't, think about it. Every time you get an amber letter on your phone, when is it a black girl? When?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  It's hard.

• 26:39Laci Mosley?

  It's hard out here. So, the following morning, a paddle was retrieved from the sea. But John was still missing, so they didn't find one paddle. He's without a paddle. Four days after his disappearance, the search was called off and it was assumed that he drowned. I hate that. I mean, it's not wrong statistically for the most part, but it's just like, damn, y'all was just like, okay, well, we all had to give up. We got other missing people to look for. Another blonde white woman is missing.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  They need those bodies. It's like, we gotta get back on the streets. Motherfuckers are running wild stealing tea. There's crumpets missing in every goddamn store. We gotta get the police back out here with the batons.

• 27:19Laci Mosley?

  So, four days after, they call it off. It took six weeks for the smashed canoe to wash ashore with no sign of John. And we have a picture of the smashed canoe. I mean, isn't that smashed? It looks pretty...

• 27:30Speaker 03

  It's pretty smashed and disheveled. The front of it smashed, so water could've got in. And then the side is smashed too. They were saying that they found one canoe, I mean, one paddle. It's only one paddle when you're canoeing. That's why I was like, they found the canoe. Cause I've canoed in a, uh, the marina.

• 27:47Laci Mosley?

  Especially if you're one person, you're just going one, one. You don't need two paddles.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, so if he was stuck without the canoe, I mean, without the paddle, he's fucked at that point anyway.

• 27:56Laci Mosley?

  So, he gave the girls up creek without a paddle by throwing one paddle away immediately. And then look at where the canoe's broken. Like, you could easily, like, stomp the thinnest part of the canoe. And then just ship it, you know, back into the river.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Ship it into the river? You went to FedEx, you wrapped it up, you got it weighed. Put the label on it, and then you was like, yeah, just drop this anywhere along the riverbank.

• 28:17Laci Mosley?

  You changed the labels, and then you just ship it back into the river. That's what it's giving. So, five years. It took five years. On December 7th, 2007, John Darwin walked into a police station in London claiming to have amnesia. Now, if you got amnesia, your brain first went to the authorities? Like, I'm not going to the police if I have amnesia.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  First of all, he walked into the police...

• 28:45Speaker 03

  He walked into the police station with that outfit on in amnesia. You, you knew how to be dressed? What, what you have on? I wanna see five years of that outfit that you got lost in.

• 28:54Laci Mosley?

  That outfit is not giving amnesia, cuz you definitely didn't wear that outfit in the, in the canoe.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Nah, that's giving, me and my side bitch broke up, uh, let me go home to the old lady.

• 29:04Laci Mosley?

  I was, I was a homosexual, so we moved in immediately after we met on Single Old Blokes dot com.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Shut up.

• 29:14Laci Mosley?

  And like, they had their last tea and crumpets and he was like, okay, I'm out of my ass.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:20Laci Mosley?

  I gotta do something. So according to John, he could remember his name and that he was from Hartley Pool. But otherwise, he had no memory of the previous seven years. So no memory of his debt, no memory of him faking his own death, no memory of his crime, no other memories. His last memory was of his vacation in Norway in 2000. Convenient, cuz on March 2002, he did. So about Ann, Ann had met John when she was 11. As schoolchildren, they married in their early twenties and had two sons. John had an obsession with making and keeping money and became disillusioned with teaching early in his career. I don't know what disillusioned with teaching means, like.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Me neither.

• 30:00Laci Mosley?

  I mean, so he liked teaching? I don't know what y'all trying to say. With the help of his young sons, he entered into a slew of money-making schemes, including breeding African snails to sell to restaurants, painting gnomes to sell... What? Painting gnomes to sell out of the trunk of his car.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 30:19Laci Mosley?

  Gnomes are very specific as a thing.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  The garden gnomes, maybe it's a big thing over there in Britain, you don't know.

• 30:25Laci Mosley?

  Maybe.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  My fuckers are serious about the, the garden gnomes.

• 30:28Laci Mosley?

  They do be on a weird type of time in the UK. Maybe the, maybe the Brits do love a gnome.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Can we go back to the kids' heads real quick?

• 30:34Laci Mosley?

  Yes, give me a message to those kids.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Let's, that's, that's what'll let me know he's crazy. That he's okay with those kids fucking like that.

• 30:40Laci Mosley?

  He gave them bowl haircuts with a literal bowl. It's giving like a Dixie bowl on top of their head and then he went around it with some safety scissors.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  I don't trust those fucking kids, especially that one with that sash, okay? I will push that little fucker down.

• 30:54Laci Mosley?

  What? He was in the

• 30:55Speaker 03

  I don't like him.

• 30:56Laci Mosley?

  Gang Scouts. He was in the Community Gang Scouts.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something. I'm gonna be honest with you. I pushed the kid today. Okay? The little fucker said I looked like Lisa Simpson and I lost my shit.

• 31:04Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my God.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  I pushed the fuck out of that kid. He had to be about five or four, but he gonna learn about speaking to adults without raising his hand.

• 31:11Laci Mosley?

  Okay, but Lisa Simpson is kind of funny, though.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  It is funny.

• 31:14Laci Mosley?

  Like, he couldn't laugh at it.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  That's, that's what it was. That's what really made me mad, that it was, it was funny. Like, it was that spot on. It was like, what kind of fucking perception does this kid have? You know what? He turned around, pow! Just a quick, just a quick, whoa.

• 31:25Laci Mosley?

  It's like a little shake.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:26Laci Mosley?

  It's a little check. Look, I'm fighting kids.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  Right at 7-Eleven. Right at 7-Eleven. Just out.

• 31:30Laci Mosley?

  My real height is short enough to fight kids. But y'all know I'm 5'9". But, um, I, I am short enough with a weight enough to fight kids. It's a fair fight.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. One doll on the ground when they, they bend down and grab the doll, just push the shit out of them.

• 31:43Laci Mosley?

  Gotta be quicker than that.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Be quicker than that.

• 31:46Laci Mosley?

  So, with the help of his young sons, he's got all these hustles going on. He's selling gnomes out of the trunk of his car like he's Brubman. Um, he signed his 15-year-old son up to be a door-to-door salesman. At the time, John went on to have an affair with one of the company's agents. So, he had gotten involved in all these schemes with his kids. And he was like, "You're gonna be a door-to-door vacuum salesman," or whatever to his 15-year-old son. And then he was like, "And I'm gonna fuck the door-to-door vacuum salesman manager." Wow.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 32:15Laci Mosley?

  How you gonna cheat on your girl like this, John? In the 90s, John acquired 14 properties with visions of becoming a landlord and to collect rentable properties. And we all know if you dream of being a landlord, you do dream of scams. Two of those properties were adjacent homes in Seton Carrow. It was actually originally one dwelling that had been split into two, though still connected through a series of doors and corridors, which is like a kind of common thing. So, it's like he got this place and he was like, "I'm gonna cut it up into two houses."

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:41Laci Mosley?

  Even though y'all, y'all just lock the door behind you.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 32:46Laci Mosley?

  Y'all, it's a, it's a Jack and Jill bathroom. Y'all both lock it on both sides and then now it's two houses. Just never open the door.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. Knock before you go in.

• 32:53Laci Mosley?

  Right. It was also the last property deal that came with an especially large mortgage and left John drowning in debt. So he's buying up these houses because he's like, this is Monopoly. I'm gonna get a house on, you know, all the blue, on boardwalk. I'm gonna get a house on, on the green shit. What was the broke shit on Monopoly? The brown shit? I don't like that. I don't like that. Why was the brown shit the broke stuff?

• 33:18Speaker 03

  You know, Monopoly was, was created to show the dangers of capitalism?

• 33:21Laci Mosley?

  By a woman and was stolen by a man. Oh, you know, I know.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Do better, fellas.

• 33:29Laci Mosley?

  And then, and, and that's why, like, if you ever think of capitalism and you think upon it favorably, just remember how nobody can get through a game of Monopoly without a fistfight. I have a scar from Monopoly from my cousin Jermonica. I've said that on this podcast before, where we start fighting because I, I don't know, somebody was hiding money under the board. The banker was stealing it.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  That was my grandma. That was my grandma. That was why I called, that's why I never played Monopoly again. I had to call my grandma a goofy bitch for putting three five hundred dollar bills under the edge of the thing and thinking I wasn't gonna see it. Tell her, could you reach back there and grab something? Every time I turn around, she's grabbing money from under the goddamn board.

• 34:06Laci Mosley?

  How you calling your me ma a goofy bitch?

• 34:09Speaker 03

  I apologize, but I don't like that cheating shit.

• 34:11Laci Mosley?

  This is terrible.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  Me ma.

• 34:14Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my God. See, capitalism tears people apart, okay? You don't want to be calling your me ma a goofy bitch.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Goofy bitch, you sit up here with that goddamn.

• 34:27Laci Mosley?

  I don't think I've ever ended a game of Monopoly. We all just get to the point where someone has the Monopoly and then we're mad at them. And that's it. And that's literally what billionaires are. They're people who have a Monopoly and we're mad at them. The game is not fun.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Everybody likes Elon Musk right now, right?

• 34:40Laci Mosley?

  Do they?

• 34:41Speaker 03

  They, they, they, they, they, Elon Musk is just like Donald Trump in the nineties and early two thousand. When Donald Trump was on WW.

• 34:49Laci Mosley?

  Elon's companies are actually not failing. Donald Trump.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  I hear you, but like he's in all the rap songs, they motherfucking rappers are talking about him. He's everywhere. He's buying shit up. He just bought Twitter. And now he's like, yeah, we should close Facebook down. He wants to close it down so Twitter is all we have. And then he's gonna start at a subscription base, I'm telling you.

• 35:08Laci Mosley?

  I don't even know if he's gonna end up buying it, cuz he's already starting to backpedal. Um, I don't know when this episode's gonna come out, but you know, he said he was gonna end World Hunger if they could give him a plan. He would give him, you know, six billion dollars. And then he was like, actually, Nirmine, cuz, plan, um, Nirmine. And now, you know, he done had a midlife crisis, and he was like, I'mma buy Twitter, and it's like, Twitter's a money pit, bro. And you're also buying it over value, and you're like jeopardizing Tesla to do it, like, what are you doing? And the funny thing is, is like, this is a scam. Everybody thinks that Elon Musk is an engineer, and that he made Tesla, and that he made PayPal. He did not. He acquired these things. He's an excellent businessman. I'm not gonna take away his genius in business and being an excellent capitalist. He would definitely win every game of Monopoly. If they did Monopoly like they do, um, like poker in Vegas, where you can watch it on TV,

• 35:53Laci Mosley?

  you would watch Elon Musk roll the dice, and be like, oh, he moving the car, oh, he passing go, oh, he collecting two hundred dollars? Yes! Like, he knows what he's doing.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:03Laci Mosley?

  But let's not act like the man makes things, okay?

• 36:06Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 36:07Laci Mosley?

  Google it. He make none of them things.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  I got you.

• 36:10Laci Mosley?

  He is not a founder. And people don't know this.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  I did not know that. I thought he made, I thought he was part of a team that created PayPal, sold that got rich, and then came up with Tesla. Cuz I know he had a couple companies where he almost went bankrupt, and then like some shit came through right at the end.

• 36:23Laci Mosley?

  The branding is just strong. And then they start calling Elon Musk a African American cuz he from South Africa, and I said, bitch, I have to leave.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  I saw that part right there.

• 36:32Laci Mosley?

  What? Not, not he-

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Let's stay hard.

• 36:35Laci Mosley?

  Not an African, are you talking about, yeah, African American, I hate him. Rubbery!

• 37:20Speaker 04

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• 38:45Laci Mosley?

  Hilarious. So now he's drowning in debt because he's over here buying up all these properties, trying to be like the biggest landlord. So he was either in denial or he was delusional about it. So he continued living beyond his means, fashioning himself a mini empire, complete with a fancy new Range Rover. Because he's a scammer. You can't let people know that the scam is down bad. You gotta keep living off credit. According to Ann, he convinced himself he was going to be a millionaire. That's the reason he decided to disappear, because he couldn't face what he saw as the humiliation of being declared bankrupt. I mean, also, like, you just don't want to become bankrupt. I feel like if I owed the government, like, even if I owed them, like, Lauryn Hill money, I'm not going to jail. I'm about to disappear. I'mma leave a paddle on one side of the ocean and I'mma get in there to start crew-rolling.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Something.

• 39:32Laci Mosley?

  Something, I'ma swim like Michael Phelps. Y'all like, go catch me. In December 2001, John took out a $50,000 British pound, which is roughly 72,000 USD because the pound has always been stronger than the dollar. It's actually very embarrassing, it's very embarrassing when you go to try to trade in your money for British money. Even the euro is still a little stronger than the dollar. Like, this is very ghetto. Like, why do we have such high self-esteem? America's ass, we have the worst healthcare, we are being, getting our asses beat in the pandemic. Why are we dying?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Why are we dying?

• 40:08Laci Mosley?

  We not winning at anything, and yet we still keep being like, number one. It's like, I don't think-

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Well, we are winning in audacity.

• 40:14Laci Mosley?

  We're not number one in education, we're not the number one in quality of life, we're not even the number one in mortality.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  But, but, audacity.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  Lethery of it.

• 40:26Laci Mosley?

  We're living off vibes. America's like, we got number one vibes.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  Listen, I hear all of that, but everybody still wants to come over here. Knowing that, knowing that it is all of those things, people still want to come to the States.

• 40:39Laci Mosley?

  Cause we're a scam country. We operate with confidence. We ain't got no money, we in debt to everybody.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  We never pay- listen, I'm not paying my student loans back until we pay China back. Ain't no fucking way we paying China back, you understand me? China just over there like, fuck, man, I guess we just lost that shit there.

• 40:57Laci Mosley?

  Yo, you know what's crazy? I could pay my student loan, I have one loan, cause I went to school on full tuition scholarship, but I had one for housing, and, cause my parents like, we don't want you to work. And, I haven't paid it off, cause I was like, I'm just gonna wait.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Listen, Joe Biden, what's up, baby?

• 41:14Laci Mosley?

  What's good?

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Take me to dinner.

• 41:15Laci Mosley?

  Joe Tavious.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  You said you was gonna take care of that. I paid one off.

• 41:19Laci Mosley?

  You said you had us. My parents paid one off, but then I was like, I'm not paying mine, I'm just gonna, y'all can have us a little bit every month, I don't give a shit. Like, look, it's just my ass.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  I'll pay that shit back when y'all pay China back. And my little money ain't holding y'all up from paying China back, bitch, you ain't got it.

• 41:35Laci Mosley?

  Right, what you gonna do with my little money? A drop in the bucket, especially with my taxes, y'all got enough, y'all don't need.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  I'm fine.

• 41:40Laci Mosley?

  Sally, sit your ass down, okay?

• 41:42Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 41:43Laci Mosley?

  So he also told Anne, this is John, he told Anne that he would rather fake his own death than deal with the shame of filing for bankruptcy. Okay, ew, real hot girl shit. When Anne argued he threatened, it's either that or I do it for real. So he was like, either you gonna let me fake my own death, or I'mma do my death for real. Which I don't think that John was gonna do his own death. I think that was just a threat, cuz he was like, you better not tell nobody that I fake my own death. So despite his threat, when John disappeared, Anne genuinely believed that he had drowned. After he had been gone for a year, she truly thought he was dead. I don't know if he really thought that, Anne, I think you just realized, like, he told you he was about to fake his own death, and like, you don't wanna be implicated. And then he waited five years and didn't say shit, so he was like, yeah, no, I really thought he had been muerto.

• 42:25Laci Mosley?

  We had a whole, like, uh, little funeral for him, with no casket, just like a photo on a little stick.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, on a stick, okay.

• 42:33Laci Mosley?

  You know they put the little two sticks and they put the big photo?

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, on the easel.

• 42:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, on the easel.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  She said the two sticks.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Go and pay them people their money back, go and pay them.

• 42:50Laci Mosley?

  That's why I should've paid them their money back, if I can't remember where easel is, I don't, I don't owe the education system nothing.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  That's facts, that's facts.

• 42:57Laci Mosley?

  So they put the photo of him on the easel with some flowers, and then they lit some candles and whatnot. Probably put like the little aura in front of it, you know, and put some candles around that. You know, so she was like, we had memorialized him, he was dead and gone. After he had been gone for a year, she truly believed that he was dead, right? She made claims on the life insurance, the mortgage insurance policies, and it totaled about two hundred and fifty thousand British pounds, which is roughly about three hundred and sixty thousand USD. In two thousand and six, four years after John's death, she went on vacation to Panama and made the subsequent decision to move her life there. So now she on the run.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:35Laci Mosley?

  But making it cute, she was like, oh, yeah, I got this little money, but it's cuz he dead dead, y'all.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:40Laci Mosley?

  He extra dead. So among the reasons she couldn't immediately return to England and return to her husband's side, Anne said she had to stay in Panama to sign her things that were being shipped over from the UK. So when he came back, she was like, oh, I'mma come, but um we got packages coming and then they gotta go to a third party who's gonna put another label on them.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Put another label on it.

• 44:00Laci Mosley?

  And then when they, then their label come to me.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 44:04Laci Mosley?

  You know, UPS in Panama is very slow.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Very slow. We only got one truck.

• 44:08Laci Mosley?

  It's like, what can Brown do for you? K, K can Brown do para ti, you know, and like, it just takes a little longer.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:17Laci Mosley?

  She also cited immigration issues and gave little more information than that in her interview with David was published. So getting caught after a photo. The day after a photo surfaced that changed the narrative entirely. The photo showed Ann and John together next to a real estate agent, but the photo was taken in Panama dated July 14th, 2006, 18 months before John emerged from his amnesia trip. So now they got this photo of them.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 44:44Laci Mosley?

  And this means that he was in Panama.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  The whole time, probably.

• 44:47Laci Mosley?

  Before he pulled up to the police officers was like, uh, where am I?

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:51Laci Mosley?

  Is this a police station? I don't know who I am and I definitely don't know who I owe. I definitely don't know who I owe any money. Um, here to start my life over. If I can't remember, it never happened.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  It never happened.

• 45:05Laci Mosley?

  I just love that for them. So here they are. Why are y'all taking, why are y'all commemorating? Why are y'all commemorating moments?

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 45:13Laci Mosley?

  When you know damn well you owe people money and you win the win. Love this for them. Also, love that he's stuck beside Ann because, you know, they're both older. He could have been, well, I guess Ann had all the money, so he could go away.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  He wasn't just a real one. Ann had access to all the accounts, you know what I mean?

• 45:30Laci Mosley?

  And she must still love him. That's why she was like, let's take this picture, boo. Cause we, we get some more real estate and it's all in my control. So take this picture, we together, we sending this, this gonna be our Christmas card. How you send a Christmas card when you supposed to be dead?

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Supposed to be dead. Hosts to be dead, all on the car smiling.

• 45:48Laci Mosley?

  Caesar's greetings from the grave. What was happening?

• 45:52Speaker 03

  From the grave?

• 45:54Laci Mosley?

  Just like Jesus.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 45:56Laci Mosley?

  We have risen. Like what?

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Couple days, couple years late, but I'm here, I'm here. What's up?

• 46:02Laci Mosley?

  Jesus did it three, we did it like five or six, you know?

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Hold me out.

• 46:06Laci Mosley?

  We're humble, we're not Jesus. So the photo showed them together with this real estate agent. I'm sure the real estate agent put that on his website. He was like, I'm selling properties. But the photo was taken in Panama, we have the timestamp, right? Not only had Ann known her husband was alive, long before he resurfaced, but there was proof that he had visited Panama with her. When confronted with the damning image, Ann broke down and told her real story to David. According to David, he says she hadn't told anyone the truth in nearly six years, not even her sons. You kept your sons away from their daddy?

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Well, they said had the haircut, so it was very difficult just to look them in the eye. If you got that haircut, it's like, fuck, I can't even, you know what, I'll text you. Text you in a minute.

• 46:48Laci Mosley?

  If you give your sons that haircut, then hearing that their dad just fake disappeared is the least of their worries.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:56Laci Mosley?

  They'll be like, that's fine, now can we go to great clips?

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Please.

• 46:58Laci Mosley?

  Help us.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Please and thank you.

• 47:01Laci Mosley?

  So understandable. So Ann came out and was like, I know he was alive. In fact, they had been living in their house unbeknownst to either of their two sons. So they must not like their kids. Their kids must have had bad vibes. Because I feel like my parents would tell me if they faked their own death and went to Panama. Sometimes kids have bad vibes, but I feel like their kids must have had bad vibes if you just were living in Panama and didn't tell nobody. So according to Ann, it wasn't until a year after his disappearance and after she made the life insurance claims that he showed up and she learned that he was alive. So now she's trying to put a timeline on it like, well, after I had talked to Allstate and they had said I was in good hands, then after the hands, you know, were good to me, maybe a year later I realized he was still alive. So that's trying to put together a timeline like,

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:46Laci Mosley?

  I didn't know.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  The check was already cut, what was I supposed to do?

• 47:49Laci Mosley?

  What was I supposed to do? Not deposit it?

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:51Laci Mosley?

  Because he was alive? She took John back in on his threat that if she went to the police, he would tell them that she was an accomplice to the disappearance. So she's trying to act like, oh, he blackmailed me too and like, he, he said he was gonna take me both down if we didn't. And I don't know if she's lying about that, because John kind of gives me the energy that maybe he would. But at the same time, it's like, if this, you're a smart, I think this woman's smart. And you moved out of, you extradited yourself out of the UK. You had to have known that he faked his death the entire time.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely, she did.

• 48:22Laci Mosley?

  And you didn't want to be poor either. You were like, poor?

• 48:25Speaker 03

  It's not what I signed up for.

• 48:26Laci Mosley?

  You should change again?

• 48:29Laci Mosley?

  The coin that makes sense?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Not what I signed up for, John.

• 48:33Laci Mosley?

  We'll have to start budgeting? No. So in this, they conducted their lives in secret for the next four years. That's kind of sexy. I feel like that's kind of spicy, like, that would definitely spice up my marriage. You know, everywhere we go, we worried about getting caught.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, licking over your shoulders, that would give me oses. I would be so stressed out and so anxious all the time. I would have oses all over me.

• 48:55Laci Mosley?

  Really? I feel like I would be like the UK Bonnie and Clyde. Like, what would that be? Like, Chippin', uh...

• 49:03Speaker 03

  I'm a little better by myself.

• 49:05Laci Mosley?

  What do I know British names? Chippin' Esther? I don't know what Bonnie and Clyde is. I don't know British names.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 49:12Laci Mosley?

  Turdington and Willbrook?

• 49:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 49:20Laci Mosley?

  I don't know, it sounds sexy to me. I'm into it. So when anyone visited, this is like Flower in the Attic. What? So when anyone visited the house, John would go to the next door home through one of the hidden doors. For a time, he was essentially a housebound hermit. He spent most of his time playing online role-playing games like EverQuest while conducting online affairs with American women. So he's still cheating.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:42Laci Mosley?

  Online.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:43Laci Mosley?

  How dare you?

• 49:44Speaker 03

  You gotta do something with the time. That's a lot of time to just be in the house doing nothing. You gotta, you know, create the fantasy.

• 49:50Laci Mosley?

  I'm keeping you out of jail and you trying to cheat on me with bitches on Sims?

• 49:54Speaker 03

  Mommy, he just, he's a hermit. He ain't got nothing. She can go out, go to the, go to the market, go to a ballgame.

• 50:00Laci Mosley?

  Look at this door.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's his cave. That's his man cave.

• 50:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he was very much living a quasi moto lifestyle.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 50:07Laci Mosley?

  Okay. I guess you gotta let people cheat on video games.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  I mean, you gotta let me do something, you know.

• 50:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  I ain't never gonna meet none of these women. Yeah.

• 50:15Laci Mosley?

  That's probably how he felt. He's like, I live like Harry Potter. Which J.K. Rowling's a TERF, so fuck outta here. But yeah, it's giving, it's giving closet.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:24Laci Mosley?

  Um, oh god, another terrible person reference, but trapped in the closet era. R. Kelly, a horrible person. Um, but that's what the closet's giving. Um, so, he was playing these video games, he's flirting and living, you know, online affairs. Eventually, he grew his hair and beard long and went outside wearing a limp with a cane and escaping recognition. Okay.

• 50:49Laci Mosley?

  So he just thought that, like, he would look different if he had a limp?

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:54Laci Mosley?

  I don't think that's how looking different works.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:59Laci Mosley?

  I don't think that's how looking different works. I don't think you can just fake an ailment and then you look different. But he did get a beard, so maybe he thought, and also it's Panama. Like, who's looking at this white man in Panama? I feel like he could've been going out the whole time. I don't know who's on the most wanted list.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm not checking like that.

• 51:13Laci Mosley?

  I couldn't tell you right now who's on it.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  I, but I, I honestly-

• 51:16Laci Mosley?

  And they have rewards. Does somebody make that their hobby, like lottery scratch offs? They just check the wanted list and just are looking around every day real hard trying to catch somebody?

• 51:23Speaker 03

  I feel like they probably kept an eye on her. When she extradited herself out of the, out of Britain, like, I think somebody was probably like checking in every so often.

• 51:32Laci Mosley?

  Probably also because her kids have not been communicated with for four years.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:37Laci Mosley?

  If you don't tell your kids that their dad is alive for four years, you definitely aren't seeing them.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely not, so, yeah. Why does this picture look so old? This, if he left in 2002, why is this like from the 1965s, like?

• 51:50Laci Mosley?

  Right, it's giving 1939. It's giving he had to pose for one hour to get the photo.

• 51:56Speaker 03

  At that point-

• 51:57Laci Mosley?

  And somebody was like behind a camera with the little hood on it.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  Be still?

• 52:03Laci Mosley?

  Like, it's giving sit still for this painting.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  It's giving Transylvania vibes.

• 52:10Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Damn it, John.

• 52:12Laci Mosley?

  John, why? And why y'all taking so many pictures? For criminals, y'all love to flick it up. Y'all like, we still gotta have our memories. Like, don't do it for the gram when you doing it for the crime. Like, what are you doing? That's too much. So in the meantime, Ann continued to cash out on the outstanding insurance policies and sold the other properties. John later used a dead child's identity, John Jones, to create a fake passport. Not his child, but somebody else's child. So at one point, John and Ann's relationship became so tense that she encouraged him to meet Karen Steele, the American woman he had been flirting with online the previous year. She was like, go out there and meet them other hoes, you basement bitch. I don't care. Like, she was over it. He showed up to her home in Kansas, undressed immediately in full view of her and her family,

• 52:57Laci Mosley?

  and was promptly kicked out. Now, sir, just because y'all talked online doesn't mean you get booty naked when you meet somebody.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Who does that?

• 53:06Laci Mosley?

  Who does that? Who does that?

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Who comes in like, hey, how you guys doing?

• 53:11Laci Mosley?

  Alright, let's cut to the chase. Like, what?

• 53:14Speaker 03

  Here's his dick.

• 53:15Laci Mosley?

  Y'all ain't meeting in no hotel room? And this is like, oh, on the run, crinkly, I fake a limp dick. What? No.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 53:25Laci Mosley?

  Still, she hoped to keep the relationship professional and agreed to a $50,000 joint purchase of a parcel land with a dilapidated farmhouse. So basically, Karen was in on this because they started talking online. And she was like, oh, you got coins. Like, let's get together and do business. He was like, let's get together and get to the business.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Get to the business.

• 53:42Laci Mosley?

  And she was like, uh, no, let's just do the business. John was angry at being rejected and his lack of immediate return on his investment, and so went back to the UK where he sent Karen threatening emails. Always get to send threats via email. Not.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  Because that's not, that's not traceable.

• 53:58Laci Mosley?

  Right, at all, right? The venture gave John the idea to travel to Panama with Ann for another property investment. Their goal was to create an eco-retreat out of parcel of land and an apartment they had purchased with their insurance funds. If they hadn't been entirely incompetent from the beginning, it would have worked. But after buying the property in Panama, John discovered he needed a letter of good conduct from his UK constabulary, no, UK local police, basically, to become a Panama resident, which would be difficult because he was in a country with a false passport, right? So he's doing crimes, so he can't get a, you know, he can't get the police to be like, oh, yeah, he's a good guy, he's a good bloke. Because they're literally looking for him. That's when he told Anne, I'm going back and I'm gonna say I had a bump on the head and got amnesia.

• 54:42Laci Mosley?

  Also, money amnesia. So I don't need to pay you anything because I forgot about it. I'm, I'm gonna have money amnesia anytime I borrow money after this.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:51Laci Mosley?

  Then he believed he could get the letter of good standing. So he thought by going to the police station in the beginning, he could finesse them into being like, oh, this is a good guy. He just like forgot everything that he did and all his crimes. But he just need a little letter. I feel like in the UK, that probably is a place you could do that.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, you could finesse it if you do it right. You can't walk into a police station, dressed to the T, like, you gotta look dilapidated, like, you gotta be found on the water on a raft.

• 55:17Laci Mosley?

  Dilapidated, because you gotta look like you got coins so that they'll back you for what you want.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  But here's the thing, like, he went back to the police station in his hometown, right?

• 55:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  So you gotta be found on a raft made of soda bottles.

• 55:30Laci Mosley?

  He should have went and got the raft, or at least got that paddle, that one paddle back and then just walked in with that paddle. Still paddling it like he in the water.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  He should have lost weight and everything. He didn't plan for, I would have went in there malnutrition. I would have been skinny.

• 55:44Laci Mosley?

  Why you don't go to volleyball with a face on it?

• 55:47Speaker 03

  What's his name, Samson? No, not Samson. Was it Samson?

• 55:50Laci Mosley?

  I don't remember what Mr. Castaway's name was, but you gotta come in with, oh, Wilson. You gotta come in with Wilson. He gonna be talking to that motherfucker.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly.

• 55:59Laci Mosley?

  Friend.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  That would have, that would have sold it.

• 56:02Laci Mosley?

  Stuck Wilson on top of the paddle and then walked in with the paddle erect like Wilson was a person.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  That would have worked.

• 56:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he's just like, it's just been me and my homeboy this whole time out on the water.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  And have conversations with him the whole time you went to police. I, I told him everything. What are you talking about?

• 56:17Laci Mosley?

  What money? What money? You don't owe any money.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Wasted the opportunity, my boy.

• 56:23Laci Mosley?

  Also, Anne, you down bad. Stand up. Stand up, Anne. Like, how dare you? You had all this man's money. You're the only legally alive one in this relationship. Why are you fucking with him? Especially because he can't even stop cheating on you while he in the basement. He even got good wifi down there. He managed to cheat on you. How you gonna let somebody cheat on you with like a, a old school, uh, radio? How you let somebody cheat on you with Morse code?

• 56:44Speaker 03

  That dollar was suck. Dial it though, that dial up. Ain't no phones in the house, so nobody interrupting the internet service. It's fire ass dial up.

• 56:52Laci Mosley?

  So getting caught, after Ann's confession to an intrepid journalist, David Lay, the jig was up. Ann, I'm glad that you snitched. Like sometime, I, I, I think snitches can sometimes get stitches, but sometimes you gotta be a stool pigeon. You just gotta get out there and say, you gotta be like that Whitney Houston iconic video where she's like, Regina, Martin, Karen, and Ulysses. You just gotta start saying all the names.

• 57:15Laci Mosley?

  Okay, you gotta turn to the DMX song and be like, Cookie, I met a hot ice cream pole. Like, give it up, give them up. So by the time their fraud was discovered in December 2007, the cover, the couple had amassed more than 500,000 pounds while waiting on the sale of their Seton Carrow dwelling to proceed. John was arrested three days after re-entering the world. And after some questioning about alleged fraud, he eventually dropped the amnesia narrative and pleaded guilty to charges obtaining money by deception and passport fraud. Sue, oh, and there he is getting carted off the jail. Now, I, I, when we put these photos on Instagram, I want you to see what this man looks like and how offensive it would be if he walked into your home and stripped down

• 57:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:58Laci Mosley?

  to his peen.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:00Laci Mosley?

  I would be so angry. This is not, look, we're all gonna get older if we're lucky.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:05Laci Mosley?

  Our bodies are gonna change. We might, shit gonna start hitting the floor, you know? Things gonna start hanging flow, low and wobbling to and fro.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:12Laci Mosley?

  Cool. But you can still fuck if you, oh, I love that. I wanna be fucking when I'm O. But it's gonna be like the notebook. We gonna take off our clothes real slow. Or maybe we do it through a sheet. Or maybe, you know, like, I'm, I'm definitely never gonna strip booty naked.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  In my living room.

• 58:25Laci Mosley?

  No, in somebody's living room? That's wild.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  That's wild as hell.

• 58:28Laci Mosley?

  Like, you can only do that if you are like a stripper that people called

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:31Laci Mosley?

  and were like, this is what we want you here for. You know?

• 58:35Speaker 03

  Bless us all.

• 58:35Laci Mosley?

  Yes. If you do sex work and you got a bad body and you look great and, and people called you for that specific thing, then get booty naked. But not this man.

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:44Laci Mosley?

  He was wild for that. He has a lot of audacity.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  A lot of it.

• 58:47Laci Mosley?

  And what the hell is he wearing? Is that like Air Apostle? What is this sweatshirt?

• 58:51Speaker 03

  They, they made him change clothes. They was like, you gotta take that stupid shit off. And then they gave him that. It was something somebody had left.

• 58:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's why Abercrombie went down, because what is this sweatshirt? What is it?

• 59:02Speaker 03

  That's a wild ass story too.

• 59:04Laci Mosley?

  So eventually he's like, I did it. I did it all, everything. So she pleaded not guilty to charges of deception and money laundering, but even her own sons testified against her. See, that's where he fucked up.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:13Laci Mosley?

  You knew your kids had bad vibes and you didn't turn them into the authorities and you didn't help them and you didn't, you disappeared for four years. So now they hate you. So they came and, ooh, her sons look like stool pigeons. Look at their faces. They don't look like people who would ever honor their mother and father.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  They keep it real.

• 59:28Laci Mosley?

  They said, honor thy mother and thy father, girl. We, we don't read the Bible.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  It's cause y'all, y'all had them walking around with them haircuts for that long. They probably got forty-five pictures with them dumb ass haircuts.

• 59:38Laci Mosley?

  If my kids ruined my chi- or if my parents ruined my childhood with a haircut like that, I think I would have to turn them into the authorities.

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, we squabbing. I'm gonna box my pops out.

• 59:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we gonna have to tussle.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, we got the squabbles going, my boy.

• 59:48Laci Mosley?

  Sorry, sis. So both John and and Darwin were convicted and sentenced to six years in jail. Ann's compulsive lying in quotes earned her a spot in a maximum security prison known for housing infamous serial killers like Rosemary West and Tracy Connolly. Okay, come on now, y'all. She just moved to Panama and cashed in some insurance. She did some paperwork. Why she gotta go to the pokey? That's, that's feels like a lot.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  The pokey.

• 1:00:14Laci Mosley?

  I feel like that's a lot. Ann didn't deserve that. She already was dealing with a cheating ass, trifling ass man. She's been punished her whole life.

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  She continued to deal with him like, let's keep it real.

• 1:00:22Laci Mosley?

  She did. And she had left him alone and really pretended that he was dead. She would not be culpable for any of this.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Laci Mosley?

  Cause plausible disability. She could've just been like, I thought he was dead. Like I saw the paddle like everybody else. I had the memorial with the paddle. Y'all saw the candles.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  Y'all saw it?

• 1:00:35Laci Mosley?

  I went and got glade and everything. Y'all saw the candles?

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:00:39Laci Mosley?

  Y'all saw the vigil. We took photos. Yeah, no, Ann, you played. You was down bad. You can't, you can't go full Monica, okay? No Monica. If you know, you know. Or you can't, you can't be that down for nobody, okay? Can't go, you can't go to Monica.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  So gone over you.

• 1:00:56Laci Mosley?

  What she said?

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:00Laci Mosley?

  Your girl was gonna ride or die. Ride or die. She meant that shit. No, sometimes you guys should get off the ride.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  You gotta get off. Pull an emergency exit. Get up off of there.

• 1:01:10Laci Mosley?

  Like, you should've done a better thing. I would leave? No, you should've done a better thing that I would stay. Okay? No way. No way. So when their sons discovered that their father had been hiding and their mother had been lying to them for years, they were devastated and eventually broke off contact. Now, I think that they probably broke off contact because they were like, so y'all had coins this whole time? Y'all were living it up in Panama? And you weren't gonna send us no coins? You just left us to our own devices? Like, fuck y'all. You know, y'all see these kids. They got entitlement.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, you can see it all on my face. Smug ass.

• 1:01:42Laci Mosley?

  So, Lord Jesus, where are Ann and John now? This is different, right? Y'all like, three years. We ain't never had no shit like this. I know. I know. But so Ann was released and got a job at the RSPCA. Now, her fighting for the animals now and throwing paint on people. An animal welfare, animal, an animal welfare charity. I'm gonna stick with that. She has since retired and lives in rural Yorkshire. Ann has since reconciled with her sons and divorced John in 2011. Girl, that's too late. That's way too late. Perhaps due to his sentiments such as, this is a quote from John, "No one is queuing up for a woman like you, Ann. There weren't when I married you, and they certainly wouldn't be now." Now, John, I know you ain't talking.

• 1:02:26Laci Mosley?

  When you got that rankly ass dick out in somebody's living room. Talk about it. Nobody checking for Ann. Ann was cuter than you. Bye, John. John reportedly never apologized to his sons, who remain estranged from him. On Facebook, Darwin lists his favorite quote as, "Live life to the fullest each day and have no regrets." John Darwin. And I think he needs to tack on and fuck them kids.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. FTK all day.

• 1:02:51Laci Mosley?

  FTK all day?

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Gang gang.

• 1:02:53Laci Mosley?

  Listen, he had the kids. That was it. He said, "After that, I'm done."

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Laci Mosley?

  After his release, he was rearrested in 2013?

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  Damn, John.

• 1:03:02Laci Mosley?

  I can't stop doing crime. He said, "Can't stop, won't stop." Uh-uh, uh-uh.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  Take that.

• 1:03:07Laci Mosley?

  So he breached his probation by traveling to the Ukraine to visit an online girlfriend. John, you also out here just chasing tail too much. You never gonna make money that way.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  Never.

• 1:03:16Laci Mosley?

  In a recent interview, Mercy said that John was on his way to the Ukraine to join troops fighting against Russian forces. So now he didn't try to turn him going to Ukraine into him fighting against Russia.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:03:29Laci Mosley?

  Wow. He later moved to the Philippines to marry a woman named Mercy May, who was thirty-three years younger than him. She also said, "He will have a bulletproof vest and good life insurance. Good for me." So whoever this Mary May is, she was like, "Look, he got enough money from me." Oh, she cute, Mary. Have you not heard of ninety day fiance? You could have did way better than this. You really could have ate, sis.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Hey, listen.

• 1:03:56Laci Mosley?

  You settled. Mary, you cute. Why would you do this?

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  She know all.

• 1:04:00Laci Mosley?

  Or Mercy, Mercy. Oh, Mercy, Mercy May.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  He never stopped. He was tipping to the end.

• 1:04:06Laci Mosley?

  He really was. He must have some good talk game.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Or money.

• 1:04:10Laci Mosley?

  Does he have money though?

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  He probably had money that Ann didn't know about.

• 1:04:13Laci Mosley?

  He must have, because he survived for like, what, like four or five years before he got back where?

• 1:04:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he probably had money that Ann didn't know off, off, in a Panama account, something like that.

• 1:04:22Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:04:23Laci Mosley?

  Mercy, you still could have did better, though. You could have been Lamborghini Mercy if you had just stepped your shit up.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  That part.

• 1:04:31Laci Mosley?

  Alright, guys, it's time for the end of the show, Saz Part of Show, where I have to let you hear go Scammer of the Week. So this week, we're talking about a home in Fairfax, Virginia, that was put on the market for eight hundred thousand dollars with an occupant still in the basement. We got a whole basement theme going this episode. Love that for us. The house was listed with a text reading, "Cash offers only, no access to see lower level, and home is sold as is only, with acknowledgement that the home will convey with persons living in the lower level with no leasing in place." I mean, the house market is wild right now. Like, I, I was looking for a home, and Bank of America was like, "You're pre-approved. Now, do you want to tack on a half a million so you can fistfight people in the front lawn?"

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Yo.

• 1:05:13Laci Mosley?

  How strong are you? Are you Liam Neeson strong? Do you have special set of skills? That's the only way you go get a home right now.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Yo, I'm selling this house, cash only. You can never go in the basement.

• 1:05:24Laci Mosley?

  Sight unseen.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  They gonna continue to live in the basement, no lease option, boom, that's just what it is.

• 1:05:30Laci Mosley?

  Have you seen the movie Us? There will be a tethered family.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  You listen.

• 1:05:33Laci Mosley?

  In the basement.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:05:35Laci Mosley?

  And what you gonna do? So despite there being an act- like actual humans still living in the home, the house was received at least five offers and was placed under contract for a bit above asking price. There is reportedly also significant work required on the inside of the home. So they're selling this over asking. There are people who live in the basement.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:55Laci Mosley?

  And also the roof gonna fall in as soon as you went escrow.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Laci Mosley?

  That's a lot.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  That's a lot.

• 1:06:01Laci Mosley?

  With the cash offer, no lender was involved. So the title could be transferred immediately, even with the tenant still on the premises. It's unclear who the buyer is, though it's alleged that the tenants were hired to clean the home, but never left. Who is scamming who here? How you gonna come in and clean the house and then be like, we got squatters rights now?

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  That's probably why they sold it like that.

• 1:06:24Laci Mosley?

  How you coming in with Pine-Sol and now you like we own it all?

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  The people, the people that sold it, they had, they were already dealing with the squatter. So they was like, I'm just getting rid of this shit, right? And they was like.

• 1:06:34Laci Mosley?

  We just gotta move.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  It's somebody else's problem now.

• 1:06:36Laci Mosley?

  Can you imagine how scary your squatters are if you just move?

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Laci Mosley?

  Have you seen Ozark?

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  I haven't finished it.

• 1:06:43Laci Mosley?

  So if you've seen the beginning, this is not spoiler, they deep into it. But then they move into a home in the Ozark and it was like an old man living there.

• 1:06:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they rented from him, yeah.

• 1:06:52Laci Mosley?

  It's giving Ozark like, you just gotta let me die, then you can have the house.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, uh, that's different. To say the least, that's different.

• 1:07:02Laci Mosley?

  That's different.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  I bless them.

• 1:07:04Laci Mosley?

  Listen, the housing market is crazy, so maybe nowadays you gotta take a little asbestos. So you gotta take a little family that lives in your basement.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  It should be better.

• 1:07:12Laci Mosley?

  At least you got a home.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay, that's more than most millennials can do, okay? Yeah, so what, a family lives in your basement? You got a home, you sound real privileged.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, what you complaining about, broke boy?

• 1:07:22Laci Mosley?

  Buy less avocado toast if you don't want people living in your home when you buy it. Ghetto.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:28Laci Mosley?

  All right, well, to hear, that brings us to the end of a fantastic episode. And we always ask, where would you like to be found? Anything like you promote, plug, socials?

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, man, just go to the website, to hearmore.com or everythingbageltour.com. Grab tickets, I'm doing 10 cities.

• 1:07:45Laci Mosley?

  Yes, 10 cities.

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  Right now, uh, we got, let's see, Sacramento, we're doing this actually at the end of May. Uh, and then what are the other dates? We got Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, Huntsville, DC, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Dallas, Baltimore, Philly, New York, we pulling up on you, you know what I mean? So, uh, you can find all the dates on my website, or you can go to my Instagram. I'm usually always posting about the tour. If you know somebody that's in that city, yo, pull up, you know, tell some, tell your people to come through, you know what I'm saying? Don't just hear about it or see it and don't tag somebody, man, like that's how we make it, so.

• 1:08:19Laci Mosley?

  We'll take a screenshot of that and we'll post that on the Instagram story, some of these tour dates. And y'all, he says he's posting about the tour, but he's a scammer because the way that he be tricking people, it'd be a whole comedy thing, it'd be a whole TikTok joke, it'd be a whole something, and then at the end it'd be like, come to the tour.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz you gotta keep people engaged. If they just see the flyer, they're gonna dip immediately. So I had to come up with a witty, quick, something and then get you in and then be like, boom, by the way, bitch. Knock, knock. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, it's, it's a whole thing, so.

• 1:08:49Laci Mosley?

  Yes, and guys, as always, snitching your friends and family at [email protected]. Y'all be DMing me, I told y'all, that's not how you reach me, okay? Call me, beep me, email me if you wanna reach me. Send those scam stories to the email. You can screenshot your tweets or DMs or whatever and send it to the email. I talk to people on Twitter and I, you know, I will engage with you on the scamgotuspod Instagram as well. Uh, I'm gonna try to be better about posting these, uh, things on time, but y'all know I like to be late cuz it's, um, it's a condition and y'all need to stop shaming me, okay? It's a condition that I'm fighting every day, being late. It's called time disease, thank you, okay? I live by the sundial, I live by the vibes, okay? And that changes all the time with the seasons.

• 1:09:30Laci Mosley?

  And if you wanna find me, D I V A L A C I D, Valacy on all platforms. Season two of Icarly is streaming right now, season two of A Black Lady's Sketch Show is the one that I'm on, if you like to see my face, uh, or if you want my profiles, it's all the same, except for on TikTok where I'm Lacey Mosley. Congregation, y'all in that basement, stay scamming.

• 1:09:54Laci Mosley?

  This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, aka Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Cargbo, engineered by Marina Fies, and researched by Kaelyn Brandt. Stay scheming!

• 1:10:10Laci Mosley?

  This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.

• 1:10:20Speaker 06

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