Joe DeRosa

Joe DeRosa joins Santino for a high-voltage episode of Whiskey Ginger to talk about stand-up, running his NYC sandwich shop, existential rage, and why he’s just done pretending to be nice. Things take a wild turn when Shane Gillis, Bobby Kelly, and Ari Shaffir all call in to stir the pot, roast Joe, and derail the entire episode in the best possible way. It’s pure chaos — and pure comedy. 🎤 Check out Joe’s latest special: I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXQR_eqfFUg 🔥 Subscribe for new Whiskey Ginger episodes every Friday 🎧 Full audio on Spotify, Apple & all podcast platforms 👕 Merch & tour: andrewsantino.com FOLLOW JOE: Instagram: @joederosacomedy YouTube: Joe DeRosa Comedy Joey Roses: @joeyrosesnyc FOLLOW SANTINO: Instagram: @cheetosantino TikTok: @cheetosantino #JoeDeRosa #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #ShaneGillis #BobbyKelly #AriShaffir #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy ======================================================= Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey KIKOFF GET YOUR FIRST MONTH FOR $1 https://getkikoff.com/whiskey HIMS 100% ONLINE TREATMENT https://hims.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Andrew Santino?

  What up, Whiskey Diner fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. I'm doing a couple of dates, so come check me out. Andrew Santino dot com. I'm gonna be going to San Francisco, I'll be going to Tempe, Arizona. I'll be playing Hammond, Indiana, a casino down there, doing a bunch of other casinos. I'm going back to Borgata and Atlantic City. Come see me. Go to Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets. Andrew Santino, Andrew Santino dot com.

• 1:21Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:26Speaker 04

  Who's that creature in the ginger beard?

• 1:29Speaker 05

  It's dirty ginger. Like peppers, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ginger, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

• 1:45Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Diner. My guest today is one of my favorite people on the list. Andrew Santino. Andrew Santino, my guest for today. It's Joe DeRosa. Don't sip that without me. Oh, I'm sorry. Idiot. Sorry, I have a problem. Yeah, man, what's your deal? I'm sorry, dude. Yeah. A little sip here of the Willet. A little bit of Willet. Mmm. Well, that's good. That's very nice. Good stuff. It's very nice. It's nice to see you. Joe DeRosa, my old good friend, who now no longer lives in any place that I want to visit.

• 2:20Andrew Santino?

  The guy moves to Austin and?

• 2:23Speaker 06

  Pennsylvania.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  Pennsylvania.

• 2:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:26Andrew Santino?

  No, I love Austin.

• 2:28Speaker 06

  I love both places.

• 2:29Andrew Santino?

  We love it, dude.

• 2:30Speaker 06

  I love both places. I'm part of many spheres now.

• 2:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you really are.

• 2:34Speaker 06

  Part of the Nanosphere. Part of the, uh, the Philly Sphere.

• 2:39Andrew Santino?

  Philly Sphere is a good sphere, though. I like Philly. Philly's great.

• 2:42Speaker 06

  Uh, I'm gonna try to start the Vagio Sphere in Pennsylvania so I can be a member of both.

• 2:49Andrew Santino?

  Is that gonna be on the Gas Digital Network?

• 2:51Speaker 06

  Uh, I wanna go more hardcore, man.

• 2:56Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 2:56Speaker 06

  I wanna go even more hardcore.

• 2:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, go hard.

• 2:58Speaker 06

  Uh, no, it's so funny, man. All the Nanosphere shit. I did Rogan the other day, and we were talking about the area. He's like, "What do they think I'm doing?"

• 3:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 3:11Speaker 06

  "People just come and do spots."

• 3:13Andrew Santino?

  No, no, but they think he's cultivating a secret, a secret little cult under there.

• 3:18Speaker 06

  It's so fucking crazy.

• 3:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's really crazy. Anyway, but, um, I do love both places. But yeah, you'll probably never visit either, right?

• 3:25Andrew Santino?

  No. Yeah, I have no intention. No, no, no. I'll be back down in Austin at some point. I got a text message from our old friend Adam Egrit, who, uh, is running the mothership down there.

• 3:33Speaker 06

  I love him.

• 3:34Andrew Santino?

  "Will you ever come back?" I say, "Yeah, I'll come back, dude." I just, I'm not, like, doing spa- I'm not, I'm not going anywhere except for these, for these other gigs that I've got. You know, like, I'm not, and not avoiding going down there. I just don't, I don't feel the magnetic pull, yet.

• 3:48Speaker 06

  Well, it's just, but it's, but it's just a, it's a city on the road to do.

• 3:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but last time we went down there, I think we played, where did we play in? We played a theater in Austin that was like, no? Where did we play? We didn't do Austin on Bad Friends. Oh, we skipped it.

• 4:02Speaker 06

  But I'm saying if, if you're gonna do, if you're gonna do club dates over a theater, Austin, you're gonna do club dates in Austin, then... It's just, it's just, it's a, it's a club date, right? Are you seeing it differently than that?

• 4:14Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, dude.

• 4:15Speaker 06

  I don't know, I just feel like it's-

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  Just because of all the shit around it, it feels like it's heavier than just doing a little... You know, the, the thing about doing a club touring around the country and doing like a little tiny club somewhere, it's almost like we're all in on a little fun little secret. Like you get to have this little playtime in this little city and you're away from home. And Austin's got all this hype swirling, it's a whirlpool of like hype and shit right now. So I'm ju- that's what I mean, it's more than just like a funny bone, or like a helium.

• 4:39Speaker 06

  Because of all the Austin- It's all-

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  Because of all the bullshit, because of all you losers, because of all you dickheads there every night.

• 4:44Speaker 06

  It's all, yeah.

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  It's you guys, it's the lineup.

• 4:47Speaker 06

  I'm one of the dickheads.

• 4:48Andrew Santino?

  I don't wanna see those guys.

• 4:49Speaker 06

  You don't wanna see-

• 4:50Andrew Santino?

  You, Shane-

• 4:52Speaker 06

  The best dudes? The most fun dudes to drink with?

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Shane is the only guy, uh, that I wanna see but outside of there, and you. But not, but I wanna s- on the other stuff, I don't know. There's something about the place that I'm just not, uh-

• 5:06Speaker 06

  The place, you mean Austin?

• 5:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, the mothership Austin, that's all one.

• 5:11Speaker 06

  You just me- so you're talking about just this whole concept of Austin comedy?

• 5:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Austin comedy.

• 5:16Speaker 06

  It's, look, man, it's, you know, it's funny to me, cuz I'm having a great time down there, and I feel like it was absolutely the right place for me to go. Um, but I'm also never one to try to push per- people towards a scene or, or anything like that-

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:32Speaker 06

  Because I've, I've loved some scenes and I've despised others, you know?

• 5:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 06

  So I get that every place isn't for everybody, but... It's just so funny to me, dude, like when I, I, it, it, like when I'm down there, it doesn't fit- This thing that like, that every, like, that, that, that the podcasting world and the media world has orchestrated about like, the Austin comedy scene, like it's so crazy.

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  But it is a scene, they did, they created something.

• 5:58Speaker 06

  No, no, no, it's a scene, but I'm just saying like, but it's a scene, it's a comedy scene. It's like, most cities have some sort of comedy scene, to varying degrees, you know what I mean? But like when I came to LA, the, the country wasn't talking about the LA comedy scene. New York, the, the was, you know what I mean?

• 6:15Andrew Santino?

  Because we originated in these two places. It's different.

• 6:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, cuz it's a, oh, cuz it's a newer scene, you're saying?

• 6:20Andrew Santino?

  That's what I mean, it's a new, it's still new. You know what I mean? I don't wanna see people still on their training wheels.

• 6:25Speaker 06

  Well, that's part, that's part, there's younger comics, but then there's established comics.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  No, I know, there's both, I'm not saying that, I just mean the si- the scene itself is figuring itself out. I'll wait till it's over, I'm waiting for the beta testing to be done. I need the alpha testing.

• 6:38Speaker 06

  I say just go down and do the club and drink with me.

• 6:41Andrew Santino?

  I could just come down and drink with you anyway. What's the difference?

• 6:43Speaker 06

  Well, then, there we go.

• 6:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:44Speaker 06

  But I only drink at the club, so.

• 6:47Andrew Santino?

  Somebody likes free booze.

• 6:49Speaker 06

  Who doesn't?

• 6:50Andrew Santino?

  I know. You still have your bar, by the way? Is your bar still there?

• 6:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, Joey Rose's.

• 6:53Andrew Santino?

  Joey Rose's is still a great bar. If you're in the New York, uh, metropolitan area, please go visit it. It's on the, uh...

• 7:00Speaker 06

  Lower East Side.

• 7:00Andrew Santino?

  Lower East Side, yeah.

• 7:01Speaker 06

  Sandwiches.

• 7:02Andrew Santino?

  It's a great bar.

• 7:03Speaker 06

  Sandwiches and a bar, yeah.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  I got smushed there a few times. Then we shot a podcast in the back of that thing one time.

• 7:07Speaker 06

  We did, and I remember I had, like, Covid.

• 7:09Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, you did!

• 7:10Speaker 06

  I got so sick. I got so sick, dude.

• 7:13Andrew Santino?

  And DeStefano was making fun of you the whole time.

• 7:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, and you were going to Europe.

• 7:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was leaving.

• 7:17Speaker 06

  You were going to Italy.

• 7:18Andrew Santino?

  Italy, and I got nervous. I was like, oh, dude, I'm gonna bring Covid over there.

• 7:21Speaker 06

  You were like, I can't get sick.

• 7:22Andrew Santino?

  You brought a Covid from DeRosa. Why would you come here with all of this Covid?

• 7:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, you brought the worst Covid.

• 7:32Speaker 06

  We started Covid, it's the worst Covid.

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  It's the worst. By the way, Covid got inside of you and was like, whoa.

• 7:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:38Andrew Santino?

  This is a grind.

• 7:40Speaker 06

  No, it's...

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  How are we gonna get this guy sick?

• 7:42Speaker 06

  Russ Maniev called me, uh, at the very beginning of it. One of my favorite dudes ever, ever.

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  Do I know him, Russ Maniev?

• 7:48Speaker 06

  He's a comic in New York. I don't think he does much stand-up anymore, but I think he still does occasionally, but... But he's one of the funniest fucking dudes ever, and, uh, he called me right at the beginning of it. He goes, you know, DeRosa, I think Covid's afraid it's gonna catch you.

• 8:04Speaker 06

  You fucking scum.

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  We've got breaking news here on MSNBC. Covid has stopped with one man, Joe DeRosa.

• 8:11Speaker 06

  It ended up, I am legend.

• 8:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are. It's you. You are legend.

• 8:15Speaker 06

  Um...

• 8:16Andrew Santino?

  No, look, let me, let me, let me certify this. Let me just stamp this.

• 8:19Speaker 06

  What's it?

• 8:20Andrew Santino?

  There's a lot of people down there that I do love. I think my issue with it...

• 8:24Speaker 06

  Wait, Covid?

• 8:26Andrew Santino?

  The Austin thing.

• 8:26Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  No, my, the issue that I was trying to articulate, I don't know how to say it.

• 8:30Speaker 06

  I could tell you were a little nervous and it sounded like you were shitting on it, and you weren't shitting on anything.

• 8:34Andrew Santino?

  No, I don't care.

• 8:34Speaker 06

  You were...

• 8:35Andrew Santino?

  No, I am shitting on it, partially. I mean, partially, I think it's fucking clown fart bullshit.

• 8:39Speaker 06

  But what's clown fart bullshit?

• 8:40Andrew Santino?

  Some of the fucking dickheads down there.

• 8:43Speaker 06

  Well, there's dickheads everywhere, though.

• 8:44Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 8:45Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 8:45Andrew Santino?

  I know. So I don't need to leave dickheads to go see more dickheads.

• 8:48Speaker 06

  But there's dickheads everywhere you go.

• 8:50Andrew Santino?

  I know, dude, I hate it!

• 8:53Speaker 06

  My point is, is like, this is my point. You go, if you're gonna live, uh, somewhere to partake in a scene, and, and, you know, and being near it is, is helpful, then you obviously gotta go that clicks with you, and I love Austin for that. It really works for me. And New York worked for me for a long time, too.

• 9:10Andrew Santino?

  And LA?

• 9:11Speaker 06

  LA, I didn't care for.

• 9:13Andrew Santino?

  Did not work for you?

• 9:13Speaker 06

  No, I didn't care for it. But my point is, is any criticism you could have of the Austin scene, you could easily have of the New York and LA scene.

• 9:22Andrew Santino?

  Of course you can. Yeah, no, no, that's true.

• 9:23Speaker 06

  So my thing is like, this, this media tornado around all of it, where every article that gets written talks about like, the male gaze of Austin comedy, and the manosphere, and all this stuff. I'm just like, it's all bullshit. Like, none of that's real, and then it makes, even somebody like you, who's not really worried about any of that, right?

• 9:45Andrew Santino?

  No, no, it's more that-

• 9:46Speaker 06

  It makes you, it makes, it, it puts this haze over it before you even get there.

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  No, it's only because, it's only because, I, I think I can't, I can't find the right words. I'm not a smart enough person. But it's also cause like, Big Brother Joe is there, and when he left, Rogan was like, trying to tell a lot of us to like, be like, "You gotta get the fuck out of LA." And this became a narrative of like, "Fuck LA sucks, dude, fuck LA," and all these people were like, kind of ringing this thing. I mean, you may not have heard this, but that was like a constant-

• 10:15Speaker 06

  No, I was one of the people saying it.

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was annoying, it was annoying, it was annoying. There's just so many people being like, "Get out, get out, get out," but it's like, "I'm not fucking getting out to stream down there, just relax." Like, so I think that annoyed me, so then I was like, "Well, I'm not bringing my ball, I'm not gonna come play with you guys, cause you fucking pissed me off." You're like, "You gotta go to this restaurant, this restaurant is the best, you don't think I'm the best." I'm like, "I'm not going. I'm not gonna eat the fucking food. Just relax."

• 10:39Speaker 06

  I went, I, I-

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  That's what it is.

• 10:42Speaker 06

  Well, I-

• 10:43Andrew Santino?

  This annoying like, "You gotta get out of LA, dude, what are you even doing there?"

• 10:47Speaker 06

  I get that, I get that with New York.

• 10:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 06

  I get that with New York.

• 10:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:51Speaker 06

  I, the way you feel with the Austin stuff, I feel that way about New York sometimes.

• 10:56Andrew Santino?

  Okay, good.

• 10:57Speaker 06

  Because when I left New York to go to Austin, it's the reverse. It's funny, it's a very inverse-

• 11:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is.

• 11:04Speaker 06

  Experience. I went to Austin and my life and career got better.

• 11:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Speaker 06

  Uh, Joe's been fucking wonderful to me and incredible. The cra- the club, it feels like family to me and it's like a really beautiful. But I also do the creek. Rebecca Trent is one of my best and oldest friends in the world. I love her dearly. She's been amazing to me. Her club has been amazing to me. All the, all the smaller rooms around have been incredible to me. Nick and the, well, it's not a small room, but Nick and the Vulcan have been incredible to me. And then all the smaller rooms around, like Black Rabbit and all these other. I've been so embraced there. It feels, the love is so strong. And I really feel like this is it. I'm in, I'm in, I'm exactly kind of where I wanted, always wanted to be. Uh, but I have friends in New York that are like, you're gonna leave New York? Oh, you're gonna leave New York to go to Austin?

• 11:56Speaker 06

  You know what I mean? So it's the reverse.

• 11:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is the reverse.

• 12:00Speaker 06

  And I'm like, oh, oh, yo, no, let me sit here and pay sixty-five hundred dollars a month to still have rats. Yeah, let's do that. No, let me do that. Let me do that, you know? Oh, oh, oh, did you sit at the table? You know what I mean, dude? I got, it's the same thing, dude. I got so.

• 12:18Andrew Santino?

  It's the same reverse.

• 12:19Speaker 06

  I get so fucking mad, yeah.

• 12:21Andrew Santino?

  It's the same. It is, it is the same feeling. I will eventually go down. I just think I'm not, I just don't, there's not for me right now. And also I have days where I wake up and I take the dog for a walk with a cup of coffee in my little quiet suburban bullshit neighborhood.

• 12:36Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  Like an old white. And I go, well, this is fine.

• 12:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:39Andrew Santino?

  And, and LA is almost, it's built in a lab. It's a sim, dude. It was blue skies as far as you can see and it's perfect weather. And you're like, this is a simulation. It's great.

• 12:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:49Andrew Santino?

  Let me die in the sim.

• 12:50Speaker 06

  I also think too, though, dude, you have, you have great reason to, to remain here.

• 12:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's only the Asian, dude. If, if the Asian was gone, I'd be gone.

• 12:59Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying. You have a reason. Look, dude, at some point, like, uh.

• 13:06Speaker 06

  I I don't mean it's disrespectful to the guy. But like, like when, like when Harry Shearer.

• 13:14Speaker 06

  Was like, I'm, I'm, I'm leaving The Simpsons. I'm done, I'm done. They get this, I should be getting sixteen million a week, whatever the fuck it was. It was some crazy amount of money, right? I was like, dude, I get where you're coming from. I get why you're mad. You've made these people a lot of money. They probably do owe you a little bit more. But also, bro. That's your job.

• 13:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, this is your gig.

• 13:35Speaker 06

  You're eventually in this business, that that's the problem with entertainment. Nobody ever goes, that's my job now. I have a job. It's always like, well, what else? What's next? And then what do I do? And then when do I direct a movie? And what, you know what I mean? Or whatever? It's like. And like, there's no, there's nothing wrong with the recognition of like, you have one of the absolute biggest podcasts that has ever existed.

• 14:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, it's great.

• 14:02Speaker 06

  You got a podcast that's like doing Stern in the nineties.

• 14:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, kinda, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 06

  And you're like, yeah, dude.

• 14:10Andrew Santino?

  It's fine.

• 14:10Speaker 06

  I live in LA.

• 14:11Andrew Santino?

  That's why I'm not leaving.

• 14:12Speaker 06

  That's my job.

• 14:12Andrew Santino?

  Right. That's why people are like, why are you going there? I'm like, I can't, dude. I don't know. It's, we're living in the groove right now.

• 14:17Speaker 06

  There's nothing wrong with that.

• 14:18Andrew Santino?

  Well, let's move to something that's more appealing to listen to than than this. Um, you recently got diagnosed. Do you want to talk about it?

• 14:28Andrew Santino?

  I miss you, dude. I'm so happy to see you. Can I say this? I'm so happy to see you. I was sad when I came to the East Coast and I couldn't get a hold of you. Uh, well, I talked to you on the phone, but I wasn't able to see you. But I sat in a little lodge.

• 14:40Speaker 06

  Thirty minutes from my house in PA. And I was like, I cannot go out tonight. I cannot. I was like, I can't. It was literally a night that I, for days, I had been leading up to. I was like, that night, I must stay in. And then you called me, you're like, what do you have a buzz? Hey, I'm in Westchester. I was like, no, no.

• 15:01Andrew Santino?

  I was like, come on, man. I'm at a great little hotel. There's a bar around the corner. Let's get fucking annihilated.

• 15:05Speaker 06

  I should have fucking pushed you to come to Phoenixville that night. And I would have had you come out and I would have shown you some spots.

• 15:11Andrew Santino?

  I thought about it, but then I thought the next morning I had to be up super early, so I didn't want to. But I, I will say, heavy, heavy shout out, heavy shout out, uh, to, to, to PA. Because I, that, that little beautiful fucking town, I had no idea. I'd never even heard of it before. I was like, it was incredible.

• 15:30Speaker 06

  It rips.

• 15:31Andrew Santino?

  I went up and down the street.

• 15:33Speaker 06

  Imagine this dude, I just did Matt and Shane's pod and we were talking about this because we shot, we wrote and shot tires in PA.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:42Speaker 06

  So, we hung out, I was in my spot that I own out there. And then all the guys were in their spot and like, we were fucking, we were hanging all over PA. I shot my special during, the one I'm here to plug, by the way.

• 15:56Andrew Santino?

  It's a great special, please watch it right now.

• 16:00Andrew Santino?

  Plug it while you're here, just plug it.

• 16:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, let's plug it.

• 16:02Andrew Santino?

  Do it real fast.

• 16:03Speaker 06

  I never promised you a rose garden. On my YouTube.

• 16:06Andrew Santino?

  We'll put the link in the description, you don't have to do that, they're not listening to that.

• 16:09Speaker 06

  Anyway, go click on it.

• 16:11Andrew Santino?

  Please watch it.

• 16:12Speaker 06

  Watch it.

• 16:13Andrew Santino?

  Are you getting good views on it?

• 16:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, it hit, um, it's, it's like nine days in and it's, it's about 400K.

• 16:19Andrew Santino?

  That's really good.

• 16:20Speaker 06

  It's alright, it did okay.

• 16:21Andrew Santino?

  It's so funny what the world has turned into now, it's like, that's the best version of it.

• 16:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:24Andrew Santino?

  Just let them do it.

• 16:25Speaker 06

  Thank you to everybody so far.

• 16:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, make it and just be like, here, do you, please share it with people that you like.

• 16:30Speaker 06

  And dude, talk about the comedy community, like when you feel like such love. Like, you, hit me right back, what do you need dude? When you want to come on, let's do it. Bobby, right back, what do you need?

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  He texted you.

• 16:42Speaker 06

  I text with Bobby sometimes.

• 16:43Andrew Santino?

  He's getting better, I'm actually shocked.

• 16:45Speaker 06

  He always hits me right back.

• 16:47Andrew Santino?

  He does with me because we work together so much, but like, he, people do complain how little, he actually loves you. If he's gonna text you back, he loves you.

• 16:54Speaker 06

  He always texts me right back and I'll say like, let's try to get dinner or something.

• 16:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 06

  Like, he's like, you know, but Bobby, uh, Tinchcliffe, uh, Ari, um, uh, Segura and Christina, um...

• 17:10Speaker 06

  Stavros, Rogan.

• 17:12Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're beloved.

• 17:13Speaker 06

  Shane, Matt.

• 17:14Andrew Santino?

  Everybody loves you.

• 17:15Speaker 06

  You know what got back to me the fastest? Everybody got back to me very quickly.

• 17:18Andrew Santino?

  Don't do this, don't make me feel... I probably got back to you within ten minutes.

• 17:23Speaker 06

  I texted Rogan, I barely hit send, and he was like, "How about this day?" Right? Like, I was like, "That's incredible that that guy who was like..."

• 17:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 06

  "The king of podcast..." Like, he immediately is like, "Yeah, yeah, how about this day?" "We got it."

• 17:36Andrew Santino?

  He's a good egg, dude.

• 17:38Speaker 06

  Doesn't go call the producer, you know what I mean? Like, he's just like, "Well, you did." The, uh, but...

• 17:42Andrew Santino?

  I said, "Call him to book it." I said, "Call him to book it."

• 17:47Speaker 06

  Let's go!

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  Alright, let's do it.

• 17:48Speaker 06

  Carlos, Carlos, Carlos!

• 17:52Andrew Santino?

  You know why I say, "Go through Carlos for bad?" Because my schedule and his schedule... No, no, no. It's because only Carlos actually knows Bobby's schedule, and he can attest to this. I, I don't know it, and we'll be talking, and I'll go, "You have nothing tomorrow, right?" Yeah, nothing. Carlos will call me and be like, "Buddy, he has three things tomorrow. He's got a therapy thing, he's got a..." He's got, he's doing an AA thing for it, and I'm like, "How do you not know your own fucking schedule?" Carlos knows. That's, he is the, he's the glue.

• 18:22Speaker 06

  All of you guys, all of you, Ben.

• 18:24Andrew Santino?

  Well, we want to support you because you're super fucking funny, and I love you, and I'm glad you put in the promo my little quote from, uh, when I was overseas.

• 18:31Speaker 06

  I just shortened it, it was too long.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's too much in there, I'm sure.

• 18:34Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:35Andrew Santino?

  I was in Budapest, right?

• 18:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, the real post.

• 18:39Andrew Santino?

  What was the original?

• 18:39Speaker 06

  In the thing...

• 18:40Andrew Santino?

  It said, I think, the thing you posted for the promo was, "I'm in Budapest right now, and all of the trans prostitutes say hi."

• 18:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. But they did, by the way. There was like three or four that were like, "Where's Joe, dude?" I was like, "My dog is on the East Coast, he's chilling."

• 18:57Speaker 06

  The original quote is, well, we, hold on.

• 19:00Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna have to scroll back.

• 19:01Speaker 06

  No, I'll search "trans prostitutes." Now, I'm gonna hit about seventeen threads.

• 19:05Andrew Santino?

  I was just gonna say. Your phone's like, "You've searched this too much."

• 19:11Speaker 06

  Baldinger just texted me from the store. He's like, "Dude, I thought you were gonna text about fallouts. Why are you texting?" I'm like, "'Cause I'm already..."

• 19:18Andrew Santino?

  Tell him we'll come by the store, let's go by.

• 19:19Speaker 06

  Hold on a second, alright.

• 19:20Andrew Santino?

  Let's go by tonight, we should. Be fun. Have a couple cocktails, rip some jokes.

• 19:25Speaker 06

  Well, there's a word in here I can't say.

• 19:29Speaker 06

  "Hey, you four-eyed..." Fill in the blank.

• 19:32Andrew Santino?

  Friend?

• 19:39Speaker 06

  The whole book, only two texts came up, that's the same.

• 19:47Speaker 06

  Hey, you four, four eyes blank, cuz you typo'd it. Uh, I'm in Budapest shooting a little role in a movie and all the trans prostitutes here say hi. So I had to, I had to, I had to clip it. Yeah, that's nice to, to cut it down. I had to tighten it up. Well, you shot this in PA, this special? Yeah, I shot it in Phoenixville. You did? The town I'm talking about, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, the Colonial Theater, uh, which is on Bridge Street, which is, uh, Phoenixville's sort of... Shout out to Bridge Street. Yeah, Main Street, USA, Bridge Street. Shout outs to a lot of places on Bridge Street, uh, and on Main Street, uh, but The Record Shop, Forever Changes, Colonial Theater, uh, um, uh, Rivertown Taps, The Boardroom.

• 20:31Speaker 06

  Uh, there's a lot of spots on that street that I frequent, you know, and it's, it's so beautiful. It's all mom and pop run, it's... I love that, dude, please don't change. It's amazing, it's amazing, man. And my two favorite bars and restaurants, bars slash restaurants on the street are The Boardroom and Riverside Taps. And they almost bookend the street perfectly. Mm-hmm. So like, like, I'll have like, you know, like Q, Q from Jokers will come down, or Ari or somebody, and I'll be like, "We're going to Bridge Street." "We always start at Boardroom and you end at fucking Rivertown." It's a perfect... That's perfect, work your way down. Oh, it's beautiful.

• 21:10Speaker 06

  Anyway, Colonial Theater's there, uh, shout out to the whole crew of Colonial Theater, um, uh, that's the theater. It's a historic landmark.

• 21:22Speaker 06

  How great is this, dude? I'm living in a small town in Pennsylvania. At Christmas, they play It's a Wonderful Life at this theater. At Halloween, they play a 24-hour horror movie, like... Just come and go as you, like, you just, you just come and go whenever you... Oh, that's awesome. They do the, uh, they do Blob Fest there every year. Blob Fest is because the Blob, the 1950's version. Was shot at that theater, when they all run out of the movie theater?

• 21:45Andrew Santino?

  That's the theater?

• 21:46Speaker 06

  That's the theater.

• 21:46Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 21:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  That's so cool.

• 21:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 21:52Andrew Santino?

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• 22:37Andrew Santino?

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• 23:08Andrew Santino?

  Was anything else shot in that town?

• 23:11Speaker 06

  My special.

• 23:13Andrew Santino?

  Is your special called The Blob?

• 23:14Speaker 06

  It should have been.

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  Dodo Rosa, The Blob.

• 23:17Speaker 06

  Just me in a mirror.

• 23:17Andrew Santino?

  Are you kidding me? You're, I was gonna say something on the way in, but I didn't wanna hype you up, but you're in the best shape you've been in.

• 23:23Speaker 06

  Oh, I thought you were gonna say something really mean.

• 23:25Andrew Santino?

  No, you're looking good.

• 23:27Speaker 06

  I don't know why, I think I'm, the testosterone?

• 23:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you're on the T. Are you on the high T? Are you on a high level? I know, we were in the car-

• 23:34Speaker 06

  A decent amount, not crazy amount.

• 23:35Andrew Santino?

  I was in the car one time, and you were like, dude, the doctor said I'm gonna die, but he put me on T, and now I'm Superman. Now I'm fucking re-infigurated. You're like, dude, I feel 20 years younger. You can do back-to-back now.

• 23:48Speaker 06

  Almost back, I wouldn't say back to backs, but like in the same hour if I had to.

• 23:52Andrew Santino?

  That's impossible.

• 23:53Speaker 06

  Nuts.

• 23:53Andrew Santino?

  Over forty, that's non-existent. For people that are under forty, that are, like this kid's twenty-six, he has no fucking idea. Once you breach forty, back to backs are gone, dude.

• 24:02Speaker 06

  Dude.

• 24:02Andrew Santino?

  It's one championship game. That's all you're playing.

• 24:04Speaker 06

  I woke up, uh, I woke up with somebody and, uh, recent, I don't wanna say recently, but you know, in the last, we'll, we'll say in the last year. And, uh, I was, I literally had a fucking morning wood.

• 24:20Andrew Santino?

  Wow. I haven't had one of those in a long time. I have no idea what those are anymore.

• 24:24Speaker 06

  She said something and I go, that doesn't happen in your late forty. That's the testosterone.

• 24:31Andrew Santino?

  That's amazing.

• 24:32Speaker 06

  It's wild. It gives you like back your, and also you don't wanna kill yourself after you, that's the best part.

• 24:38Andrew Santino?

  I'm still gonna want to. Don't tempt me, dude.

• 24:42Speaker 06

  Do you remember Steve Byrne's joke?

• 24:44Andrew Santino?

  Huh.

• 24:44Speaker 06

  Where we talk about when you watch porn, it was back when all porn was on DVD still.

• 24:47Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:49Speaker 06

  And he was like, uh, he's like, uh, he just talks about like jerking off and he's like, yeah, man, you get your, he's like, you get your movie out, you put it in, you're like, alright, let's go. Ah, okay, let's get this fucking shit out of here.

• 25:04Speaker 06

  The absolute shame.

• 25:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's like a hot potato when you're done with it. You're like, get rid of this.

• 25:09Speaker 06

  The tea makes that go away.

• 25:10Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 25:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's it. There, one of the, I learned one of the thing, and I didn't learn it because my doctor told me, I learned it because I actually Googled, why do men feel tired and sad after the orgasm? And the first result was that is a result of lower testosterone.

• 25:27Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 25:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:28Andrew Santino?

  It's not because you're releasing all these endorphins and all this protein and?

• 25:31Speaker 06

  That's got a little bit to do with it, like, you know, that's where the exhaustion, I'm sure, comes from.

• 25:35Andrew Santino?

  But the mental fortitude that you go through.

• 25:38Speaker 06

  Brother, I'm telling you, like, I used to, I could've had sex with Mother Teresa.

• 25:45Speaker 06

  Okay. Not that I would want to. Yeah. But I could have, I just mean like, soulfully, like, I could have had sex with, who's the nicest woman on earth? She's probably up there. Yeah, she's up there, she's dead. She died? Guy who just learned about it. I could have had sex with, Joy Beh- no, I'm kidding. No, who's like, who's like in, Dolly Parton, that's a great example. I was gonna say Betty White. Yeah. Dolly Parton, Betty White. The sweetest people. Yeah, and like, as soon as it ended, I would have been like, "You demon, get away from me." Yeah, what did you cause? Look at you get to me! Yeah. Go away!

• 26:27Speaker 00

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• 26:57Speaker 01

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• 27:27Speaker 06

  Did you ever watch True Detective? Remember season one? Season one was the only one I watched. Alright. Remember when McConaughey fucks Woody Harrelson's wife?

• 27:36Speaker 06

  And there he's drunk and he fucks her and then he as soon as he comes he goes. Like like that he starts backing away remember he's like what did you do? I felt like that every time I had sex. No matter who it was with.

• 27:51Andrew Santino?

  You put a spell on me.

• 27:53Speaker 06

  I started taking tea and then I have sex and I'd be like. Wouldn't it be awesome to get pancakes and have sex again?

• 27:59Andrew Santino?

  God damn that's amazing. That's how he lives. That's how 25 6 year olds live.

• 28:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:03Andrew Santino?

  They live in fantasy town. You're back.

• 28:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:05Andrew Santino?

  But how long does this last?

• 28:06Speaker 06

  I'll I'll.

• 28:07Andrew Santino?

  You'll do TT you're dead?

• 28:08Speaker 06

  Until my bones disintegrate. I don't care.

• 28:11Andrew Santino?

  Who cares?

• 28:11Speaker 06

  They could come to me and be like, we found out it causes every cancer. I'd be like, I don't give a shit.

• 28:16Andrew Santino?

  You're getting them anyway.

• 28:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  You're getting cancer?

• 28:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:19Andrew Santino?

  We're all getting it. I like these shoes by the way.

• 28:21Speaker 06

  Thank you very much. Adidas Sambas are my favorites.

• 28:24Andrew Santino?

  Sambas, New Buck, New Buck leather. Do you remember when they came out with Samba New Buck leather? Can you look that up? When did they do that? Adidas Sambas, I remember, because every kid played soccer at some, there was like a weird window of my youth where like everyone tried soccer for a minute?

• 28:38Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  And then everyone wanted to rock Sambas?

• 28:41Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's weird. I remember when I was growing up, the Sambas were literally. Li- literally, the only people I knew that wore them were kids that played soccer.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  Soccer, right. It made its way around my group of friends. Like, guys wanted to wear it to give this impression that they were cool. It's like, yeah, I got new Sambas. But New Buck Samba, New Buck, New Buck leather, is that what it is?

• 28:58Speaker 06

  Dude, I fuck with Sambas, man.

• 28:59Andrew Santino?

  I love it. There's only one Adidas shoe that I don't wear.

• 29:02Speaker 06

  Really?

• 29:03Andrew Santino?

  Shell toes.

• 29:05Speaker 06

  I only do the Sambas.

• 29:06Andrew Santino?

  I know, I'm saying shell toes are the only ones I cannot wear. I'll wear, Adidas makes a lot of good shoes, but shell toes to me, it never worked. You have to be so cool to pull off a shell toe. Or a chick. You gotta be a black dude or a chick.

• 29:16Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 29:17Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever rocked shell toes before? You're listening to Run DMC on the way here.

• 29:21Speaker 06

  I tried, I tried the shell toes. And they didn't look right. But I got, you know what was weird? One time I went to Nordstrom Rack.

• 29:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you are a Rack guy. You're not a regular.

• 29:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 29:33Andrew Santino?

  That's Nordstrom Rack all day, dude.

• 29:34Speaker 06

  100% Rack guy, dude. I was posting about Uber prices the other day. I'm fucking.

• 29:40Andrew Santino?

  What'd your Uber cost today, by the way, to get all the way here? From where you're staying?

• 29:43Speaker 06

  It's insane, dude. It was like three miles. It was forty dollars.

• 29:47Andrew Santino?

  I know, dude, it's gross. It's so gross.

• 29:49Speaker 06

  It's so crazy. But anyway, um, um, oh, oh, I went to Nordstrom Rack and I bought Adidas that had, uh, red and blue stripes. They were white with red and blue stripes.

• 30:02Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:04Speaker 06

  And I thought they were like the classic Adidas. Which was the Shelltoe. The Shelltoe is the classic.

• 30:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:11Speaker 06

  So I thought they were the classics. See, I'd never bought Adidas. I literally bought them because I was like, oh, man, these are kind of cool and you know, I'll, I'll, these are good to throw on with shorts when I'm running out the door or whatever. And, um, so I bought them. And I got compliments on them. Multiple times, always an older woman, which was strange. Maybe an older woman would see them and she'd go, "Oh, my God, I love your shoes, can I just tell you?" And I was like, "Wow, these shoes are the shit. Like, I gotta keep buying these things." Right? And then I went to the stand one night, shout out to the stand. I went to the stand one night and, uh, I was like the only white dude. It was a bunch of black comics. And we all started trashing each other and dude, they got on me.

• 30:55Speaker 06

  And they were like, "Look at this motherfucking Adidas. He can't even afford a Shelltoe."

• 31:02Speaker 06

  And then I realized, I was like, "Oh wait, no, there's no Shelltoe on this. It's just a regular sneaker."

• 31:08Andrew Santino?

  Sneaker.

• 31:09Speaker 06

  And they, dude, they mocked me to a point that I was like, "I'm gonna throw these in the trash." Like stupid bike, like a karate kid. And I throw these in the trash and I'm gonna go buy Shelltoes tomorrow.

• 31:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 06

  And I went to the Adidas store in New York and I tried on Shelltoes and they didn't look right. And I go, "Do you have these without the, this part? Like, I want the..." And they were like, "What are you talking about?"

• 31:30Andrew Santino?

  Those aren't real.

• 31:32Speaker 06

  I had like weird Nordstrom Rack Adidas. That they only sold there.

• 31:38Andrew Santino?

  You had a knockoff Nordstrom Rack Adidas. Yeah, but, but, but people liked them. They were, obviously they were good. The chicks liked them.

• 31:45Speaker 06

  That was the store, though, when I was like, "I can't fuck with the Shelltoe. They don't look right." And the guy was like, "Have you tried Sambas?" And I was like, "No, what are those?"

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  Those are the shoes.

• 31:54Speaker 06

  And he brought out the, the classics, the leather, black and white.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, black and white, yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 06

  And I put them on. I was like, "I think these rule, right?" And he was like, Do that dude. And then I started buying all the different colors.

• 32:06Andrew Santino?

  No, they're the best. They, they, they've stayed in the pocket. They didn't deviate. They were like, leave them alone. It's been the same for like 50 years.

• 32:13Speaker 06

  I want to get the green and golds. Did we see those?

• 32:15Andrew Santino?

  But gold is pushing it.

• 32:17Speaker 06

  The green with the gold stripes?

• 32:18Andrew Santino?

  I know, it's a little...

• 32:19Speaker 06

  It's tough because it's gonna go with one specific outfit.

• 32:22Andrew Santino?

  A hundred percent.

• 32:23Speaker 06

  You know what I mean?

• 32:23Andrew Santino?

  It's one thing that you know you have. What is that, your phone?

• 32:26Speaker 06

  Jesus.

• 32:26Andrew Santino?

  Jesus.

• 32:27Speaker 06

  Oh, it's Ari. Should we answer it?

• 32:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, answer that fucking shit.

• 32:29Speaker 06

  I'm on whiskey ginger right now with Santino. You're on speakerphone.

• 32:33Speaker 07

  Oh, okay.

• 32:35Speaker 06

  Hold it to the...

• 32:36Andrew Santino?

  Don't, don't be so fucking enthusiastic, Jew.

• 32:39Speaker 07

  Well, I didn't know I was gonna be talking to a ginge.

• 32:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, can I be honest with you, dude? This bullshit that you've been pulling lately with this "I'm too cool for school" shit, knock it the fuck off.

• 32:47Speaker 07

  Have you been honest until now?

• 32:48Andrew Santino?

  Knock it off. Knock it off. Where, where, where are you?

• 32:55Speaker 07

  I'm in, I'm in the west coast.

• 32:56Andrew Santino?

  Wait, you're here. Are you in LA?

• 32:58Speaker 06

  No.

• 32:58Speaker 07

  No, no.

• 32:59Speaker 06

  Of course not. Why would he be in a normal city?

• 33:01Andrew Santino?

  Wait, where, where are you at in northern California?

• 33:04Speaker 06

  Some fucking goofy city that...

• 33:05Speaker 07

  Uh, the bay, the region, the valley, all over.

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  What are you? What are you doing there? Are you doing shows or you're just, or jumping?

• 33:12Speaker 07

  I'm trying to get the fucking AIDS back, but it's no avail.

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's gone. They got rid of it, man. They cleaned it up.

• 33:18Speaker 07

  Ah, they're selling now. It's, uh, so the city's now, I guess, because, and protests, full of crime.

• 33:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, turns out.

• 33:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's because of your country.

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  That's your country, bud.

• 33:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:29Speaker 07

  Well, America?

• 33:30Speaker 06

  No.

• 33:31Andrew Santino?

  No, brother.

• 33:31Speaker 06

  Israel.

• 33:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, this is what, this is what you wanted.

• 33:34Speaker 07

  I saw a "Free Iran" sign today and I was like, really?

• 33:40Speaker 06

  Free Iran!

• 33:42Andrew Santino?

  Well, hey, hey, DeRosa's gonna call you after the show because right after him, I've got Netanyahu coming on, so I've gotta wrap this up.

• 33:48Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 33:49Speaker 07

  I'm about to get those glasses. I'm gonna get those glasses. Underrated.

• 33:52Speaker 06

  Ari, I'll hit you back, but we're gonna have, um, I'm gonna be with Andrew the whole night.

• 33:56Andrew Santino?

  Just fucking hung up. I knew he was gonna bail early. What a fuck. I hate that guy.

• 34:01Speaker 06

  I was...

• 34:02Andrew Santino?

  God, I love him so much. He's such a piece of shit.

• 34:04Speaker 06

  He's one of my favorite people on earth.

• 34:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, untouchable, that guy. He's so funny to me.

• 34:08Speaker 06

  But a lunatic.

• 34:09Andrew Santino?

  He...

• 34:10Speaker 06

  A true lunatic.

• 34:11Andrew Santino?

  But also...

• 34:13Andrew Santino?

  Also, honestly, he is one of the only guys I know who really does fuck the business off sometimes. I don't know guys that do it as good as he does. He will fuck the business right off.

• 34:23Speaker 06

  Oh, he'll burn it down.

• 34:25Andrew Santino?

  But it's gr- but no one does. People talk about it. Everyone's got a big- talks a big fucking game.

• 34:28Speaker 06

  He's the goddamn Joker.

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  I do love it.

• 34:30Speaker 06

  He's the Joker lighting the pile of money on fire.

• 34:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 06

  He's done- he's metaphorically done that.

• 34:36Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 34:37Speaker 06

  How many things has he torched?

• 34:38Andrew Santino?

  Like, three or four things, yeah.

• 34:40Speaker 06

  Like, what are you doing? You got it good right now.

• 34:41Andrew Santino?

  No, but I love it. I like it. Because it's true to what he- he just is like, no, fuck that. No, the fuck that, I don't like that.

• 34:47Speaker 06

  Dude, he did the thing at Skankfest. He did the thing at Skankfest. Where he shit on stage. And then, out of the shit, pulled a piece of paper. That said, "I have a Netflix special coming out." Right? So Netflix gets- is like, what the fuck?

• 35:08Speaker 06

  And I go, dude. I go, I'm sitting in the green room with the one night at the- at my other ship, and I go, "Brother, I love you. Wha- wha- wha- just get out of your own way once in a while." "Why do you make it so hard on yourself?" "Why do you make it so hard on yourself, dude?" And he goes, "Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah. And- and- and we shouldn't tell certain jokes too, right?" "We shouldn't tell-" And I go, "No, that's not what I'm saying at all." "I'm saying you shouldn't take this shit on stage." "So that was your special." And he goes, "No, no, fuck that. You're just like everybody else. You're just like everybody else." "You're gonna say that certain jokes are offensive, whatever." I do- I leaned in to him. I go, "Ari,

• 35:43Speaker 06

  Brian Holtzman was disturbed." "Do you understand

• 35:49Speaker 06

  that Brian Holtzman was disturbed?" Like, I saw Holtzman after that, and he goes, "Ari, yeah, that is just fucking- I don't fucking know, man."

• 36:05Andrew Santino?

  But hey, good promo. We all know about it. The guy is a genius.

• 36:10Speaker 06

  Hitchcock was disturbed. Hitchcock was like, "Okay."

• 36:13Andrew Santino?

  I don't like it.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  Ladies and gentlemen, no one else will be shitting on the stage.

• 36:20Speaker 06

  Um, alright.

• 36:23Andrew Santino?

  Red Band, clean that up.

• 36:26Andrew Santino?

  Will you turn on the air, sweetheart?

• 36:27Speaker 06

  Oh god, it's so funny, dude. It's so funny.

• 36:30Andrew Santino?

  You know, I take it back. I'm moving to Austin. I like everybody down there now.

• 36:33Speaker 06

  Let's go, baby.

• 36:34Andrew Santino?

  I do want to visit. I am jealous. I haven't seen my friends in a long time.

• 36:37Speaker 06

  Uh, I've had some of the most fun drinking nights with Tony and Shane that I've ever had in my life.

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  Well Shane is... Tony and I never knew each other like that when he lived in LA. You know, we knew each other, but we were both just comics.

• 36:48Speaker 06

  No, I got tighter with him when I moved down.

• 36:50Andrew Santino?

  Cause you're there, yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 06

  But I knew him forever, but it was just like, "Hey, I did your podcast," or you know what I mean, that kind of stuff.

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  But Shane is, uh... Shane is this. If this was a guy...

• 37:00Speaker 06

  How long have you known Shane?

• 37:02Andrew Santino?

  Uh, you know, I actually met Shane when he was... Right before the SNL thing.

• 37:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, me too.

• 37:10Andrew Santino?

  You know, we sat. This is a crazy story.

• 37:11Speaker 06

  Well, I actually met him years before that, but I felt like I didn't really know him until...

• 37:15Andrew Santino?

  Well, I didn't, we didn't really meet, and the only reason we made a good connection, we had this moment where, like, I met Chris O'Connor on, um, on the road, and then he started opening for me. We, and Chris and I became thick as thieves.

• 37:25Speaker 06

  O'Connor is...

• 37:26Andrew Santino?

  He's like one of my best, you know, he's one of my best friends. Me and this guy are, we became so tight.

• 37:30Speaker 06

  O'Connor is an animal.

• 37:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's untouchable, that guy. He's the best.

• 37:34Speaker 06

  I saw him the other night eating a fucking cheeseburger, and his drink was neat whiskey. And I go, "You are a fucking disgrace."

• 37:42Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, he's the man.

• 37:43Speaker 06

  And he literally goes, he goes, "Why, dude?"

• 37:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he got offensive. You get that season three, he's getting real hyped now, dude. He's getting broad shoulders. But Connie and I became buddies, and then, you know, Shane was kind of this, he was, because he was their friend. You know, the Philly connection all the time. And, uh, I might have told this boring story before, but we were at the stand, and I wasn't going up. I just wanted to get something to eat. I think I was meeting you. I think I was meeting you, and I was gonna...

• 38:11Speaker 06

  I think you were too. I feel like the last four times you were in New York, I was like... You're like, the one night you can hang, we hung out.

• 38:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think I was going to meet you and Shane was like, just had gotten the cancellation bull, whatever the fuck you want to call it, not on it. And, uh, and, and, um, he was so fucking depressed dude. And I remember thinking, well, you're so fucking good dude, like it's gonna be all good, but I know you don't want to hear that. So I was like, I know this sucks, so I'm not gonna say shit.

• 38:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 38:42Andrew Santino?

  And he was like, thank you. And I was like, have a beer with me. And he's like, nope, of all nights, I don't want to have a fucking beer right now. Cause he was, dude, the look in his eyes was wild. And I said, just one with me and we won't talk about any of that bullshit. Cause I think everyone was talking about it. And we had a beer and he was like, alright, thanks man, I think I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. And after that, I knew, I was like, this kid will, this man will be back with a vengeance in a way that I was like, just watch. And everyone did call it.

• 39:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 39:11Andrew Santino?

  And it came to fruition. I was like, just watch. He'll be the fucking, he is the biggest selling comic now. I don't know who's selling more than that fucking guy.

• 39:17Speaker 06

  That's wild.

• 39:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah dude, he brought me up to San Jose with him. He's like, come play an arena in San Jose. It's fucking unreal dude. It was unfucking real.

• 39:25Speaker 06

  I just,

• 39:28Speaker 06

  I have a funny Shane story, but I'll tell us.

• 39:31Andrew Santino?

  Jesus Christ Andrew. You know, the weight, my wrist is, sorry about that.

• 39:34Speaker 06

  But there's no ice in here.

• 39:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there will be.

• 39:37Speaker 06

  Yeah, you gonna finish yours? Are you gonna be a little pussy bitch?

• 39:40Andrew Santino?

  What'd you just say?

• 39:41Speaker 06

  You gonna finish yours?

• 39:43Andrew Santino?

  Why don't you shut the fuck up and chill out?

• 39:45Speaker 06

  You're a pig.

• 39:46Andrew Santino?

  Little pig.

• 39:47Speaker 06

  Let's do a, let's do a four hour app. Let's never leave this room tonight dude. It's getting fucking weird. Yeah, look at all this.

• 39:57Speaker 06

  Look at all that whiskey.

• 39:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, come over here and get some.

• 39:59Speaker 06

  Let's see where it takes us tonight.

• 40:00Andrew Santino?

  By the way, this is so good, you know, this stuff is fantastic. Real good.

• 40:03Speaker 06

  It's really good.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  Just top me off. Come here. McConaughey wants some.

• 40:07Speaker 06

  There you go.

• 40:07Andrew Santino?

  God, this is too good for you.

• 40:08Speaker 06

  You're not driving tonight, right? No.

• 40:11Andrew Santino?

  We'll see.

• 40:12Speaker 06

  No, no, no, no.

• 40:13Andrew Santino?

  No, dude, I'm not that guy.

• 40:15Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 40:15Andrew Santino?

  I don't drink and drive, man. I actually don't. He knows. I don't drink and drive. I'm big on that. No, thank you.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  That's not enough ice.

• 40:23Andrew Santino?

  It'll melt. Put some water in it.

• 40:26Speaker 06

  I don't want to disrespect the whiskey by diluting it more, but it's just, it's warm because there's not enough ice.

• 40:30Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no, stop. Stop when you say that. That's not true. Him and I, I've told this boring story before on this show, but I'll say it again. I was at Buffalo Trace when they used to sponsor the show, and they don't anymore. And I went there and the head, the master distiller, um, I, I remember the first thing I wanted to ask him, I got tanked on Buffalo Trace, and I said, hey,

• 40:52Andrew Santino?

  everyone's got a fucking opinion about whiskey, about bourbon. Yeah, you drink it with ice. You drink it neat. Oh, you have a little bit of water. Are you alright?

• 40:58Speaker 06

  I'm gonna sneeze.

• 40:59Andrew Santino?

  Get it out.

• 41:00Speaker 06

  By the way, you went like this and went like that, and then I did it immediately after, and everybody's gonna think that we were doing lines.

• 41:06Andrew Santino?

  We were doing lines. So what? So we did a couple of bums.

• 41:09Speaker 06

  I know, I know we were, but the problem is now everybody knows.

• 41:10Andrew Santino?

  You know, the internet, the internet, the internet does constantly say that I'm on coke or something. You know, I've never done coke. My dad went to prison for it. It ruined my childhood. When everybody's like, you did coke. I didn't do coke. I've never done coke. I don't do coke. If I did coke,

• 41:24Andrew Santino?

  hmm.

• 41:26Speaker 06

  It's good.

• 41:27Andrew Santino?

  It is good, isn't it?

• 41:28Speaker 06

  It's fun.

• 41:28Andrew Santino?

  No, I've never done it. I have, literally, I've never even touched it. I've never come close.

• 41:31Speaker 06

  Never do it. Never do it.

• 41:33Andrew Santino?

  So listen, I'm talking, no, I.

• 41:33Speaker 06

  Ruin your life, or make it way better.

• 41:35Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 41:38Andrew Santino?

  I wrote through, I wrote a couple of movies. Druza, come over. I went to this master distiller and the guy said, I said, what's the right way? What's like the fucking, you're a whiskey family guy? And he was like, how do you like it? I said a couple of cubes, like two or three, not a lot, but just like a little touch. He goes, great, then that's how it's supposed to be drank. I was like, come on, I'm serious. He's like, I am. There is no rule. This is a bullshit.

• 42:00Speaker 06

  Oh, really?

• 42:01Andrew Santino?

  This is like.

• 42:01Speaker 06

  So if you had said, honestly.

• 42:03Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's American lore. This is American.

• 42:05Speaker 06

  If you had said, I like it with orange juice in it.

• 42:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he'd go, great.

• 42:08Speaker 06

  Then that's how you drink it.

• 42:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. This is American lore. This is bullshit by Americans who have been like, here's how you drink. That's not a real thing. It's not a real thing. It got made up by tough guys who got off of a shift. Who were like, oh, you're gonna put fucking ice in it, you fucking.

• 42:21Speaker 06

  Agush.

• 42:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 06

  Agush.

• 42:23Andrew Santino?

  Agush.

• 42:24Speaker 06

  Um.

• 42:25Andrew Santino?

  No, I gotta do it again.

• 42:29Andrew Santino?

  God, this blow is good.

• 42:30Speaker 06

  So I did, uh, I did Your Mom's House and I told a story about meeting Bradley Cooper and how Bradley Cooper went to, very graciously went to my sandwich shop after I met him.

• 42:41Andrew Santino?

  Coop Dog went to Joey Rose's?

• 42:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, got some sandwiches, FaceTimed me from his car eating them.

• 42:45Andrew Santino?

  But did he get him scooped? Did he scoop the bread?

• 42:48Speaker 06

  No, no. He loved him the way we met him.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 42:50Speaker 06

  FaceTimed me while he was eating one of them in his car and was like, "Sick, bro. This is fucking sick." I was like, "This was, it was awesome."

• 42:56Andrew Santino?

  That's just a real moment.

• 42:57Speaker 06

  He's the man. He's the man. But, um, so anyway, I told the story on Your Mom's House and then the clip came out. And Shane DMs me, because the clip was on Instagram, and he goes, "How did you meet Bradley Cooper?" And I go, "What do you mean, dude? I met him through you, like, at the mothership. You don't remember when he was there?"

• 43:17Speaker 06

  And whatever. And he goes, "You failed to mention that part in the story."

• 43:25Speaker 06

  And he just goes, "Coward."

• 43:32Speaker 06

  And I go, "It was inferred, dude. It was insinuated."

• 43:35Andrew Santino?

  No, it was not.

• 43:36Speaker 06

  It was insinuated that I met-

• 43:38Andrew Santino?

  You tried to take credit for being buddies with Bradley Cooper, didn't you?

• 43:42Speaker 06

  That's what Shane said. He goes, "He goes, 'Friend stealer.'" I go, "I'm not a friend stealer. I told a story. I met the guy and he went to my shop."

• 43:49Andrew Santino?

  Dude. Yeah, watch this. Let me stir the pot a little bit.

• 43:53Speaker 06

  But Shane loves that. So then when I saw him the next day, he was like, or actually it was later that night. He did, this was in the morning. And I was laughing so hard all day. He was like, "Your cowardice knows no bounds."

• 44:06Andrew Santino?

  Gilly.

• 44:07Speaker 06

  What's up, bro?

• 44:08Andrew Santino?

  Hey, I'm, you're-

• 44:08Speaker 06

  Oh, look who picks up his phone for the redhead.

• 44:11Andrew Santino?

  Well, he likes, I'm with DeRosa on my show real fast. I'm not trying to blow you up or do anything stupid here. I just, I, wait, hold on. Yeah, dude. Shane, this guy, he tells the story of how he meets Bradley Cooper. And then he tells me how you called him out for his bullshit. Well, listen to this, though. Here's what he, here's what you'll see. We'll put it out on the show eventually. He says, "I was friends with Bradley without Shane."

• 44:34Speaker 06

  I never said that.

• 44:35Andrew Santino?

  I didn't, watch the show. Watch the show, Shane.

• 44:38Speaker 06

  I did not say that. Shane, I did not say that.

• 44:41Andrew Santino?

  Shane, Shane, he literally goes, "You think I need Shane to meet Bradley Cooper?"

• 44:45Speaker 06

  No, I did not say that.

• 44:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you did?

• 44:46Speaker 06

  No, I didn't. Shane, I did not say that. You know I didn't say that. I expect nothing less.

• 44:52Speaker 07

  He's a swine dude.

• 44:54Andrew Santino?

  He is dude, he's King Pig.

• 44:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, I am the King Pig and you all need to learn.

• 44:59Andrew Santino?

  Shane, he's like, he ate my sandwiches, he's FaceTiming me, he didn't give you any credit.

• 45:05Speaker 07

  I saw the clip, I couldn't believe it. I texted him and I was like, yo, that's crazy, how'd you meet Bradley Cooper?

• 45:12Speaker 07

  It's classic friend stealing, that's what he does.

• 45:14Andrew Santino?

  That's what he does, classic.

• 45:16Speaker 06

  Friend stealing.

• 45:17Andrew Santino?

  I love it, I love you Shane, I love you. Thank you for this, I'll talk to you later brother.

• 45:23Speaker 06

  Oh look, Bobby Kelly's calling.

• 45:24Andrew Santino?

  Dude, this is gonna be just a fun show, give me the phone.

• 45:27Speaker 06

  Hey, you're on, uh, I'm on Whiskey Ginger with Santino, you're on the air.

• 45:33Speaker 08

  Oh, that fucking redheaded superstar?

• 45:36Speaker 06

  Superstar?

• 45:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah!

• 45:38Speaker 06

  Good. What's up dude?

• 45:40Speaker 08

  I mean, listen dude, I just saw him in Happy Gilmore.

• 45:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 45:43Speaker 08

  And uh, I didn't like that he was, like Bobby Lee looked like his little Chinese pet on the desk.

• 45:52Speaker 06

  Dude, you're the third caller we got, Shane, Ari and now you, like called randomly and then like we've, we've brought everybody on and put the phone up to the speaker, it's been a lot of fun.

• 46:02Andrew Santino?

  What's, what's up buddy?

• 46:04Speaker 08

  Hey buddy, what's up man?

• 46:06Andrew Santino?

  I miss you, when are you, when are you coming back out here?

• 46:10Speaker 08

  Um, you know what, you know what sucks, DeRosa, when Santino gets into his LA mode.

• 46:16Speaker 06

  I know, and he acts like he cares.

• 46:18Andrew Santino?

  Hang up the phone.

• 46:19Speaker 06

  Hey buddy, buddy, we gotta, we gotta get lunch man, when are you gonna be out here?

• 46:23Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna kill you.

• 46:24Speaker 06

  When are you gonna be out here? No, you just trashed me to Shane, you fucking traitor. Fuck, he just called, he called Shane and told Shane a bunch of shit I didn't say. And then I'm such a little fucking fame chasing pussy, I'm like, I didn't say any of that Shane.

• 46:37Andrew Santino?

  No, yeah, you cowered, you bailed on all that, you could have bullied up and had some fun on it.

• 46:41Speaker 06

  I'm sorry Shane, I didn't say any of that, I swear, please don't kick me off of tires.

• 46:47Speaker 08

  Keep me on the show shape. Sounds like you're smart to me.

• 46:51Speaker 06

  I know. I'm, you know, I'm smart. What, what's up, buddy? What are you doing, man? What's going on? We're drinking whiskey over here. We're a little tanked up already, to be honest with you.

• 47:03Speaker 08

  Let me tell you something. If I was there right now, I'd drink whiskey with you. Fuck sobriety.

• 47:08Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no.

• 47:09Speaker 06

  I would love to see Kelly go off the rails. This kid's, this kid's sick in the head when he's 30 years sober.

• 47:15Andrew Santino?

  When he's sober, he's insane. He made, he made me drive him through. Remember when you made me drive you through McDonald's to get you fucking a late night burger? And he made them take off everything. He just wanted the meat patties in the box. And the woman, the chick in the drive thru was like, what you mean? You just want the patties? He's like, no bread, no bun, no lettuce.

• 47:38Speaker 08

  If I go off the rails, I'm going right to heroin and coke.

• 47:43Speaker 06

  When you go, I did that the other day at Wendy's because I was like, let me try to eat something like.

• 47:47Speaker 08

  You did heroin and coke at Wendy's?

• 47:48Speaker 06

  Yeah, I could have. I was like, let me do something half decent, but I have no time. So I was like, I'll just get the burger with no bun or whatever, you know? No cheese, whatever. Dude, you order it like that? They're literally like, we don't understand. You know it's disgusting, right?

• 48:05Andrew Santino?

  It's slop. You're eating slop.

• 48:07Speaker 06

  Please, sir, put it in the bread. Put it in the bread, sir.

• 48:11Andrew Santino?

  It'll fall apart without the bread.

• 48:15Speaker 06

  What's that?

• 48:17Speaker 08

  It's like, just don't be a fatso.

• 48:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, they're like, sir, you can control yourself in the other 99% of your life.

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let this one go. Have fun.

• 48:29Speaker 06

  God forbid.

• 48:29Speaker 08

  You don't have to come here. Sir, you don't have to be here. You get a salad.

• 48:37Speaker 06

  Yeah. Give a salad with Russian dressing and cheeseburgers on it. Would you like?

• 48:42Speaker 08

  Right now, I'm in a, I'm on the Merritt Parkway. I believe, uh, drag racing with a, a group of Puerto Rican boys in a Toyota.

• 48:53Andrew Santino?

  I hope you win, bro.

• 48:55Speaker 06

  All right. Listen, we love you, dude.

• 48:58Speaker 08

  Congratulations on your new special. It's fucking hilarious.

• 49:03Speaker 06

  Ooh, extra plug. Thank you, Bob.

• 49:05Speaker 08

  Hilarious and Santino, I miss you.

• 49:09Andrew Santino?

  I miss you.

• 49:09Speaker 08

  More than I miss my mother.

• 49:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, there goes the boys.

• 49:13Speaker 06

  You all right?

• 49:19Andrew Santino?

  He's really Drag Race.

• 49:20Speaker 06

  Is that a ship that went by?

• 49:21Andrew Santino?

  No, those are...

• 49:22Speaker 06

  Fuck, what's that?

• 49:24Speaker 08

  I swear to God, that was fucking three Toyotas flying by me on the marathon race.

• 49:29Speaker 06

  All right, listen.

• 49:30Speaker 08

  Oh, shit. I love you guys.

• 49:31Speaker 06

  Love you, buddy. Get him safe. Love you.

• 49:35Speaker 06

  Holy shit. It's so funny.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey.

• 49:41Andrew Santino?

  Hey, here to tell you about Kickoff. You know, we all have credit issues. I came out of college with some terrible, uh, credit. You know, we bought stupid stuff and then we did a bunch of mistakes and with money and it was hard and I'm telling you now that I'm in my 40s, uh, you, you know, you want to make purchases or you want to have money put aside for when you get older, uh, and helping out family and friends, bills, everything, so much stuff comes up. Um, and you know, these are common problems or the common goals. You want to fix your credit so you can have better financial health. Um, get it, you know, that car you've always wanted or, or buy something that you've always really wanted. You gotta have, uh, credit that gets it together with Kickoff to help you build credit fast. Um, and it's been incredible. Honestly, the users, uh, with credit under 600 grew an average of 84 points in their first year

• 50:24Andrew Santino?

  with on-time payments with transparent, affordable plans. You're starting at $5 a month, no hidden fees and zero interest. Kickoff helps you score big when it comes to credit. It's simple. You make on-time payments, credit bureaus see good behavior, your credit can grow so fast. It's so easy, affordable, uh, over 1 million users, hundreds of thousands of positive reviews. There's a reason why Kickoff is the number one credit builder on the App Store. Start building credit with Kickoff today. You get your first month for as little as $1. That's 80% off the normal price when you go to getkikoff.com/whiskey today. That's kickoff without the C, get K-I-K-O-F-F dot com slash whiskey. Must sign up via getkikoff.com/whiskey to activate offer. Offer applies to new Kickoff customers, first month only, subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Average first year credit score impact of 84 plus points. Advanced Score 3.0 between January 2023 and January 2024 for Kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600,

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  who paid on time and who all had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period. Late payments may negatively affect your credit score. Individual results may vary. Hey, Hims can't solve snoring or blanket stealing, but when it comes to performance, they've got you covered. Take control of ED with personalized treatments made with proven ingredients prescribed by licensed providers, 100% done online. A lot of guys got ED, a lot of time and not a lot of fuel is getting through the fuel line, okay? Sometimes the car's not turning over the way it used to. Well, Hims has got you covered. You can access personalized prescription treatment for options for ED like Hard Mints, Sex RX Plus, Climax Control if prescribed. They offer ED treatment options ranging from Hard Mints to the generics that cost 95% less than brand names, alright? A lot of guys have these issues and they're not really issues, they're just hiccups in the road.

• 51:53Andrew Santino?

  Now, this isn't a one-size-fits-all care that forgets you in the waiting room of your health and goals are put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need to get results. Think of Hims as your digital door, that front door that gets you back to your old self. Simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for ED and much more in one place. To get simple online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and much more, visit hims.com/whiskey. That's hims.com/whiskey for your free online visit. Hims.com/whiskey. Actual price will depend on products and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information.

• 52:34Speaker 06

  Oh my god.

• 52:36Andrew Santino?

  One of the funniest dudes I've ever met in my entire life.

• 52:40Speaker 06

  The best dude.

• 52:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he kills me dude.

• 52:43Speaker 06

  I got a great Bobby Kelly story.

• 52:44Andrew Santino?

  Give it to me.

• 52:45Speaker 06

  I used to open for him. I would go to colleges with him to open. And we went to a college in Jersey.

• 52:52Speaker 06

  We pull up on the campus and we can't find whatever the fuck it was called, you know?

• 52:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's a thousand of those.

• 52:58Speaker 06

  Union Hall or wherever the fuck we were trying to go to. We can't find it.

• 53:05Speaker 06

  Bobby pulls up over to the side. We're on the campus, there's a kid walking by, a student. And Bobby goes, "Hey man, uh, do you know where Union Hall is?" And the kid, like, truly innocently goes, "Um, yes sir, what, does your son go here?"

• 53:27Speaker 06

  And Bobby goes, "Son? Son? Son, you son of a bitch." And just drives off.

• 53:43Speaker 06

  Dude, it was so fucking funny dude.

• 53:45Andrew Santino?

  He's dude, he, something about him, looking at him tickles me. Like when I see him, that's the reason why, whenever I do go back to New York, I see, those guys that I see, I'm always like, oh man.

• 53:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:58Andrew Santino?

  They make the place special, they keep it special.

• 54:00Speaker 06

  Of course dude.

• 54:01Andrew Santino?

  They keep it special.

• 54:03Speaker 06

  Of course dude, there's, there's guys in every city like that, when you go back and you're like, this motherfucker.

• 54:07Andrew Santino?

  That's who I'm there to see.

• 54:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, and guess who that guy is for me in this city?

• 54:12Andrew Santino?

  Uh, I wanna say Pete Holmes.

• 54:15Speaker 06

  He's not here, but uh, no, it's.

• 54:17Andrew Santino?

  Where is Brendan Walsh by the way?

• 54:19Speaker 06

  Does he still live here?

• 54:21Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 54:22Speaker 06

  I haven't seen Brendan for, one of the funniest motherfuckers ever.

• 54:25Andrew Santino?

  I don't know anybody that lives here anymore, I don't, and I, I'm not, I'm not trying to be glib, it's like, I don't see anybody. I see my wife, I see these fucking losers, and that's it.

• 54:35Speaker 06

  He's, he's, I gotta call him, we should text him after.

• 54:38Andrew Santino?

  Text him, hit him up. I love that guy.

• 54:40Speaker 06

  Funniest fuckers, should we just call him?

• 54:43Andrew Santino?

  Hit him up, I mean that's been the whole show, what's the difference? People that are watching the show are, are probably like, this is just like a reminiscing for us.

• 54:51Speaker 06

  This is awesome dude.

• 54:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're in our living room, you know?

• 54:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 54:56Andrew Santino?

  That Bradley Cooper shit is fucking so funny.

• 54:59Speaker 06

  It's so funny coward, what a dickhead, I'm sorry. By the way, Shay didn't introduce me to him.

• 55:07Andrew Santino?

  No, he just met him because he was at the club.

• 55:09Speaker 06

  He was there because, he was there with Shane.

• 55:11Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 06

  But like, I was in the room for hours, and then, and then at one point I was just sitting across from him and I go, "Hey Bradley, I, I, you know, I don't wanna interrupt you, but I'm also from Philly and I know you got a cheesesteak place and you're from Philly and I got a sandwich place", and he was like, "Oh dude, tell me about your sandwich place."

• 55:26Andrew Santino?

  Where's his cheesesteak place, in Philly? Oh no, it's in New York.

• 55:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, and we just started talking, literally just like, "Yeah man, let's talk about sandwiches, we talked about sandwiches for an hour."

• 55:33Andrew Santino?

  What's his spot? Is it good?

• 55:35Speaker 06

  It's called.

• 55:36Andrew Santino?

  It's called Danny and Coops Cheesesteaks, on 150, 151 Avenue A.

• 55:43Speaker 06

  Oh Brendan Walsh with the, with the uh, Austin phone number.

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 55:48Speaker 06

  I forgot he was from Austin.

• 55:50Andrew Santino?

  Is he?

• 55:50Speaker 06

  This'll be wild if he picks up, I haven't talked to this guy in, forever.

• 55:54Andrew Santino?

  We're just digging in the crates at this point.

• 55:55Speaker 06

  I love it, he's the best.

• 55:57Andrew Santino?

  Wait.

• 55:57Speaker 06

  I got a great.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  151 what? 151st?

• 56:01Speaker 06

  No, it's, it's, it's like, I think it's in like, the sorta.

• 56:07Speaker 06

  East Village-ish, right?

• 56:11Andrew Santino?

  He said 151st Street.

• 56:12Speaker 06

  No, it is not on 151st Street.

• 56:20Speaker 06

  That's him. There's no way that's not him.

• 56:42Speaker 08

  It's in the East Village on Avenue A and 10th Street.

• 56:45Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay, okay, okay. When you said 151, I was like, that's-

• 56:48Speaker 08

  151 is the street address.

• 56:49Andrew Santino?

  Oh. I was like, that's not a real thing, no chance.

• 56:52Speaker 06

  Do you remember his bit that he had about how-

• 56:55Andrew Santino?

  He's so fucking funny.

• 56:56Speaker 06

  If you were a guy, yeah, you were a guy, you could buy just the pussy and asshole. The rubber pussy and asshole of a woman.

• 57:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 06

  Like the half torso.

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. We had one of these at the studio.

• 57:09Speaker 06

  He, he, I'm not gonna do it justice, but he had the whole bit about like how you keep it under your bed, obviously, because you're hiding it. And then you die. And then your family's like, cleaning your house. And they look under the bed, they're like, "Oh my god, there's a naked person under the bed." And then the cops come in, the cops have the light, flash in the bed, they're like, "Get out here, I can see you." "I can see your pussy and your asshole." "Crawl out here right now."

• 57:42Andrew Santino?

  "Stop hiding from us." "We know you're under there."

• 57:46Speaker 06

  It's so funny, dude. "I can see your pussy and your asshole." "Get out here right now."

• 57:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, fuck.

• 57:54Speaker 06

  Oh, dude.

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  What are you smoking? What are you smoking now? What color are these?

• 57:57Speaker 06

  Are we smoking here?

• 57:58Andrew Santino?

  I don't give a fuck.

• 57:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, let's go, dude, give me an ashtray, let's light it up, doggy.

• 58:02Andrew Santino?

  Give him something. What, hey, what are you smoking now? What is this?

• 58:05Speaker 06

  American Spirit.

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  Blues.

• 58:07Speaker 06

  Sky Blues.

• 58:08Andrew Santino?

  What's that? What is that now?

• 58:09Speaker 06

  They're ultralights.

• 58:11Andrew Santino?

  It is?

• 58:11Speaker 06

  They put out a version of what their, like, version of ultralights is, uh, under, I think, under a year ago, maybe a year ago.

• 58:19Andrew Santino?

  Let me see.

• 58:19Speaker 06

  And they are the greatest thing-

• 58:20Andrew Santino?

  I'm not gonna smoke, no more smoking for me.

• 58:25Andrew Santino?

  Smooth. It's gotta be their like, it's their lightest.

• 58:27Speaker 06

  These are incredible. You want one hit? Does it taste hot?

• 58:30Andrew Santino?

  No, don't do it dude, cuz I'll go back.

• 58:31Speaker 06

  Because it's got the length of a spirit.

• 58:34Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean it's got the length of a spirit?

• 58:36Speaker 06

  Cuz you know how spirits take a minute to smoke?

• 58:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 06

  It's got the length of a spirit, but it's not too long, and it's smooth.

• 58:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's easy.

• 58:45Speaker 06

  Oh dude, it's a great cig dude.

• 58:48Andrew Santino?

  I like her doing a promo push for cigs. It's a great cig dude. It's a great cig.

• 58:54Speaker 06

  Oh dude, with this whiskey.

• 58:56Andrew Santino?

  Is it great?

• 58:57Speaker 06

  This is dinner. You couldn't even, you don't even need to eat.

• 58:59Andrew Santino?

  How many times are you eating a day anyway with the tea? Aren't you eating like four or five times a day?

• 59:02Speaker 06

  About seventeen, eighteen times a day.

• 59:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, you gotta be starving dude.

• 59:05Speaker 06

  Pussy. Baby pussy seventeen times.

• 59:08Andrew Santino?

  The way you say that with the cigarette, pussy?

• 59:12Speaker 06

  No, honestly dude, I don't, um, I probably do two meals a day.

• 59:17Andrew Santino?

  Uh-uh.

• 59:18Speaker 06

  I don't go crazy.

• 59:19Andrew Santino?

  You're not starving with that stuff, like blowing through your veins? It's gotta be, isn't the testosterone, doesn't it, uh, doesn't it like increase your appetite and all that shit? No?

• 59:31Andrew Santino?

  Cuz you're metabolizing faster, right? You're metabolizing much quicker.

• 59:34Speaker 06

  But I, I just, I don't know man, like what I do is, is I do a lot of cough, black coffee in the morning and stuff. And then when I eat, I, I go like fairly high like protein, good fat, and vegetables and stuff, and like sweet potatoes and whatever, and like, I don't know, it's a pretty, you know, like-

• 59:52Andrew Santino?

  You're eating good.

• 59:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, and it's like a, a pretty, it's a heavy meal, like it's like you're good for a minute, man.

• 59:58Andrew Santino?

  It's funny, I don't eat breakfasts anymore.

• 1:00:00Speaker 06

  I never eat breakfast.

• 1:00:01Andrew Santino?

  No, I quit recently, I've stopped. I'm trying to do like a fast through the day as long as I can go without eating.

• 1:00:07Speaker 06

  Bro, I'm not even-

• 1:00:08Andrew Santino?

  It's my new shit. I'm trying it.

• 1:00:10Speaker 06

  I'm not kidding dude, I look at breakfast now the way you look at a bar crawl. I'm like, I'm like, it's, it's Sunday, I did good all week, I'm gonna go get pancakes and bake, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's like an indulgence, like, like, let's fucking rip it up today. I never fuck with breakfast. Sometimes some fruit in the morning, but that's it.

• 1:00:32Andrew Santino?

  But I used to be a big breakfast guy, he knows. I used to all, but now I'm like, I think my age is showing more and the idea that I'm like, uh, in the morning I should just, see if I can go for a walk or a run or lift or row, eat something really like, like a banana, some fruit, and then, and then get to a good meal by lunch. And then usually I take the kid out for lunch. He's my son, this is my son.

• 1:00:53Speaker 06

  What do you eat for lunch usually? Hit me with it.

• 1:00:56Andrew Santino?

  What my go to is, uh, like at most days. God, I'm so old and gay. This is a build my own salad now.

• 1:01:04Speaker 06

  Oh, I love a build my own salad.

• 1:01:04Andrew Santino?

  And I get off on it now. I love putting as much bullshit in there as possible. I like dude, it's like, it, for some reason, I used to be like, salad for lunch, get fucked. Now I'm like, no, no, I actually need, I do need it, I need it.

• 1:01:17Speaker 06

  I went today to, um, in Atwater, in that, that shopping center where the Best Buy is.

• 1:01:23Andrew Santino?

  Atwater's great, by the way.

• 1:01:24Speaker 06

  There's that like Mediterranean, like, it's, it's like Chipotle, but Mediterranean.

• 1:01:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:30Speaker 06

  I went there. Dude, you get a salad bowl. Chicken off the grill right on it. Eight thousand toppings and the toppings are like grilled vegetables.

• 1:01:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Speaker 06

  Pickled onions.

• 1:01:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 06

  And none of it's extra. Like, how many of these toppings you want? Like, all of them, hit me. Throw some hummus on it. And it's a great meal and like, it's awesome.

• 1:01:49Andrew Santino?

  We have to, we have to be more reserved as we get older. You don't have a choice, man.

• 1:01:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  I mean, you don't have a choice. And also the options are so good. That's the one thing I miss. When we went to Europe, dude. Fuck me, man. Sometimes when you're on the move in Europe or you're outside of what you're used to. I was like, what can we eat here? And they're like, it's, uh, fish and chips. You're gonna get fish and chips. There was, there was fucking no food at a certain hour. Everything closed at 11 o'clock. And London, by the way. Have you been to the Middle East recently?

• 1:02:17Speaker 06

  We, I just went over with Shane.

• 1:02:19Andrew Santino?

  It's insane.

• 1:02:20Speaker 06

  I went, I went to London, Dublin, and Manchester with Shane.

• 1:02:24Andrew Santino?

  What did he play in London?

• 1:02:24Speaker 06

  And O'Connor.

• 1:02:25Andrew Santino?

  What did he play in London?

• 1:02:26Speaker 06

  Man, we had the O2. Fucking kids doing the O2. I mean, it's nuts.

• 1:02:30Andrew Santino?

  Awesome, dude.

• 1:02:30Speaker 06

  It's nuts.

• 1:02:31Andrew Santino?

  What in Dublin? Not the Three Arena, that's what we did.

• 1:02:34Speaker 06

  I don't remember the name of the place in Dublin.

• 1:02:37Andrew Santino?

  He did way bigger than that.

• 1:02:38Speaker 06

  But, uh, all three cities were fantastic. They were amazing shows. Dublin, though, was the show where like, the boys came backstage afterwards. Like, these guys came back and they were like, alright, boys, let's go. And they took us out, man. They did a shut in for us at this bar.

• 1:02:57Andrew Santino?

  The shut ins are the best.

• 1:02:58Speaker 06

  And we were, it was fucking awesome. People broke out guitars at like 4 a.m.

• 1:03:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 1:03:04Speaker 06

  Singing, oh, dude, it was.

• 1:03:05Andrew Santino?

  It was the Three Arena. Shane played Three. That's where we, yeah, that's where Bad played. On March 21st. That's what we played.

• 1:03:09Speaker 06

  Oh, my God, that's awesome.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it's the best.

• 1:03:11Speaker 06

  It was so fun.

• 1:03:11Andrew Santino?

  Dude, it was so fucking rad. And then, uh, we had, we had Irish dancers come on stage. Dance with us and it was the most fucking fun. Dude, I Irish people are so rad.

• 1:03:24Speaker 06

  Irish?

• 1:03:25Andrew Santino?

  They're so down. They're so down for the game.

• 1:03:27Speaker 06

  The lads.

• 1:03:28Andrew Santino?

  The lads.

• 1:03:29Speaker 06

  Lads, like Irish and English lads.

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the lads. Go off, lads.

• 1:03:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's like.

• 1:03:34Andrew Santino?

  Dublin was fucking rad.

• 1:03:35Speaker 06

  Oh, my god.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  And London was great, but Dublin just had a different. There was a different level to it. There was something else going on. The energy was fucking insane. But London was cool. It just, London, I feel like was more, uh, what is it? Pa? I don't know. They felt a little more uptight. Uptight, a little stiff. They were very loose in Dublin.

• 1:03:52Speaker 06

  London, I thought, was, um, the, it was the biggest show, I think.

• 1:03:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the O2's gotta be. How many fucking people is that? Thirty thousand people?

• 1:04:02Speaker 06

  That's a lot of people.

• 1:04:03Andrew Santino?

  It's an insane number.

• 1:04:04Speaker 06

  So that felt like the most like rocking, like, like.

• 1:04:06Andrew Santino?

  Twenty grand?

• 1:04:07Speaker 06

  Like, holy shit. Like, that was wild. Uh, and we had a great time in London, but Dublin was like, the show was amazing. It was, it was a bit smaller than the O2, but it was an amazing show. But then after that show was like, every time I go to Dublin, I've been there two or three times now. I'm like, I, I think I should just move here.

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:29Speaker 06

  Like, I think I want to live in Dublin.

• 1:04:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's rad. It is a great city. I, I did say that, but you would fucking get murdered, murdered by the, by the, the weather. The weather would kill you. It's shit. It's dog shit. You'd hate it.

• 1:04:39Speaker 06

  Is it, would it rain all the time?

• 1:04:41Andrew Santino?

  I think I, we looked it up. I think Dublin, uh, wait, oddly enough, I think we did look this up. It rains more in other places than Dublin, but Dublin is just shy of half the year. A hundred and forty days or something like that? What is it?

• 1:04:55Speaker 06

  Seattle's gotta be the king of rain.

• 1:04:57Andrew Santino?

  It is. So just the average rainfall is seven hundred thirty-one millimeters annually? How many days a year does it rain in, in, in Dublin? It was something weird. We looked it up and there was more places in the States that rain more than there, but it's gloomy as fuck, man.

• 1:05:10Speaker 06

  My god, dude, drinking like true Guinness in Dublin.

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  The best.

• 1:05:15Speaker 06

  Like.

• 1:05:15Andrew Santino?

  It's the best.

• 1:05:16Speaker 06

  I was never a Guinness guy.

• 1:05:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I'm a big Guinness guy.

• 1:05:18Speaker 06

  Well, I drink like, I don't drink a lot of beer and if I do, I drink piss. Like, I like light.

• 1:05:23Andrew Santino?

  Light beer, yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 06

  Watery, like, I like, like, classic.

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  Shit beer.

• 1:05:27Speaker 06

  Trailer park beers.

• 1:05:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keystone.

• 1:05:30Speaker 06

  Sure. Yeah. Natty. Give it to me.

• 1:05:32Andrew Santino?

  Give it to me, dude. Rolling rock.

• 1:05:34Speaker 06

  But like, in Dublin, the, these guys were like, we're drinking Guinness tonight, man. And I was like, I don't know, man. Like, I'm not really, and they're like, shut up, let's go. Dude, this shit, these things tasted like Slurpees, dude.

• 1:05:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's the best.

• 1:05:47Speaker 06

  So refreshing.

• 1:05:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's the best.

• 1:05:49Speaker 06

  They were so cold and like.

• 1:05:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:05:51Speaker 06

  Oh, my god.

• 1:05:51Andrew Santino?

  Guinness is the best. What is it? How many days? Hundred fifty-five to two-twenty days per year.

• 1:05:56Speaker 06

  That's wild.

• 1:05:56Andrew Santino?

  Which is a lot. That's all the days, dude. London is one sixty-four and Seattle is one fifty. Yeah, I knew Seattle was close. But it's two-twenty. That's. That's a shitload.

• 1:06:07Speaker 06

  Two-twenty's a lot.

• 1:06:08Andrew Santino?

  That's the whole fucking year, man. They gave a range. I know, but even one fifty, half the year, almost, you're fucked. It's too many days.

• 1:06:14Speaker 06

  You know what I love about, uh, like, you know, Dublin's a town like this, Amsterdam's like this, New Orleans is like this. I love cities where when you walk around at night, it looks like Dracula.

• 1:06:33Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

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• 1:07:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 06

  You're like, I'm in something here. This is.

• 1:07:35Andrew Santino?

  I'm in a fantasy town.

• 1:07:36Speaker 06

  Some shit has happened here.

• 1:07:37Andrew Santino?

  Who wrote this town?

• 1:07:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  It does feel that way.

• 1:07:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's how Edinburgh is.

• 1:07:42Andrew Santino?

  Edinburgh is exactly like, it's, everything is a little like, um, I don't, uh, you know how the, you know how when you see like a gargoyle off of a roof? You know what I mean? That you're like, that's, it's like, it's watching the town. Gothic? Gothic. It feels very Gothic. It feels very like dark and ominous, but not dangerous.

• 1:07:59Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:07:59Andrew Santino?

  These places don't feel dangerous. They feel, yeah, ominous. Yeah, bad boy shit. Like, the moon is up. We gotta get into some fucking trouble.

• 1:08:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, when I went to, when I went to Scotland for the festival. Uh, Daniel Sloss, great fucking dude.

• 1:08:12Andrew Santino?

  That dude's so fucking funny.

• 1:08:14Speaker 06

  The best dude.

• 1:08:15Andrew Santino?

  Call him up! Now we're fucking.

• 1:08:18Speaker 06

  He, uh, he really like, he, I, I didn't know him, I met him once, maybe twice. And he DM'd me when I was going over, and he's like, "Brother, I hear you're coming for the festival," like.

• 1:08:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's Link.

• 1:08:33Speaker 06

  Come on, dude, let me, let me take care of you.

• 1:08:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cause he's like kinda the king of that shit, right?

• 1:08:37Speaker 06

  And he, this motherfucker got me, I, I was, I was there for my birthday. And we were at one of the festival tents where the artists go after the shows.

• 1:08:48Andrew Santino?

  This is at Edinburgh Fringe, for people that don't know.

• 1:08:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm sorry.

• 1:08:50Andrew Santino?

  Fringe Festival.

• 1:08:51Speaker 06

  We were one of the tents, uh, where the, the artist tents after the shows where you can drink and whatever. And he fucking, they brought out a birthday cake, he surprised me with a birthday cake.

• 1:08:59Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's so cool.

• 1:09:00Speaker 06

  Showed me all, I mean, that, that guy's the fucking greatest. But anyway, when we were there, I think I was a week in, and somebody was like, "You know this is what like Harry Potter is based on," cause I didn't know that. Like, you know, it's all based on this, and the, the, the second somebody says it, you go, "Of course it is."

• 1:09:18Speaker 06

  I've been looking at a castle for three days, I didn't put it together.

• 1:09:21Andrew Santino?

  How could it not be?

• 1:09:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, I'm looking at Hogwarts.

• 1:09:24Andrew Santino?

  It is fucking, it is, it is that fantasy town come to life.

• 1:09:28Speaker 06

  So fun.

• 1:09:28Andrew Santino?

  But that festival, I was just talking to someone about that, I couldn't do it. I've tried, I, I, like, I wanted to make it happen, and I never did it, cause I, thirty days is a long time to do shows like that. We talked to Pepitone about that. It's a lot, man.

• 1:09:39Speaker 06

  How great is Pepitone?

• 1:09:40Andrew Santino?

  One of the greatest guys alive.

• 1:09:41Speaker 06

  One of the greatest guys.

• 1:09:42Andrew Santino?

  Like, truly one of the greatest guys alive. He knows the impending doom of the world, and he's speaking about it.

• 1:09:46Speaker 06

  I fucking love Pepitone, so much, one of my favorite guys to joke around, I'll text him sometimes, just randomly, and I'm like, "Hey dude, uh, I wrote a joke, but it's the kinda joke that only a stupid asshole could pull off, do you want it?"

• 1:10:02Speaker 06

  He's always like, ah, Joey, fuck you.

• 1:10:07Andrew Santino?

  Pep is fucking great.

• 1:10:08Speaker 06

  He's the greatest fucking dude ever.

• 1:10:09Andrew Santino?

  He is, he is, he is a legend in a way that I, he's a legend in a way where I don't know if like new comedy fans get, know that old, that world of comedy.

• 1:10:19Speaker 06

  He has what could be my favorite joke ever in stand-up.

• 1:10:25Andrew Santino?

  Tell it incorrectly.

• 1:10:28Speaker 06

  He used to do this joke, uh, and he would open with it sometimes, and he would go, he would go, he would go onstage and he'd go, it's kind of a tough day, uh, my grandmother died today.

• 1:10:42Speaker 06

  My grandmother died. I owed these men money, they needed a name.

• 1:10:55Speaker 06

  The fucking greatest, man. He is the best.

• 1:10:57Andrew Santino?

  He is the best.

• 1:10:58Speaker 06

  I love that guy. Like a true inspiration of like, this is what comedy can be.

• 1:11:03Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 1:11:03Speaker 06

  You know?

• 1:11:04Andrew Santino?

  He's all play.

• 1:11:05Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Andrew Santino?

  When he was here too, same thing. He's all play. He like, he, he'll give you some moments of like, actually settled, like real Pepitone, but outside of that, he's like, he's, he wants to give you fantasy town. What did he keep saying? I'm, uh, yeah, what did he keep saying that I, when I was trying to lead him into a bit? Who was he saying? I was like, he goes, you're like, uh, who was it? When I was leading him into bits.

• 1:11:30Speaker 06

  I know.

• 1:11:30Andrew Santino?

  And he was saying, I was like, it's like being on a show. Oh, man. Not Fallon, but he was saying something like that. And it was making me fucking.

• 1:11:37Speaker 06

  Like, yeah, but, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was bit leading him, you know what I mean? And he was.

• 1:11:41Speaker 06

  I love it. Todd Glass is like that.

• 1:11:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Glass is like that too.

• 1:11:44Speaker 06

  Todd is, god damn it, man.

• 1:11:45Andrew Santino?

  I haven't seen that guy in a long time. He's making great sketches for people that want to see some great shit online. He does a lot of good stuff now. He's putting up a bunch of sketches. He does one where, he does like a fake, like cops pull him over. Have you ever seen that? Where he hires these kids to pull him over?

• 1:11:57Speaker 06

  It's, they're the funniest fucking thing.

• 1:11:58Andrew Santino?

  That's so good.

• 1:11:59Speaker 06

  The bad Uber driver thing.

• 1:12:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good.

• 1:12:02Speaker 06

  The, uh, my favorite bad Uber driver that Todd Glass does, the video where, he's, so, okay, so if you've never seen it, for the people at home, what he does is he has his friends sit in the backseat of his car, and he drives them around and they shoot it from the backseat to make it look like he's a bad Uber driver.

• 1:12:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 06

  That's crazy.

• 1:12:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:19Speaker 06

  So it's always over his shoulder. And he, he did one where he goes,

• 1:12:25Speaker 06

  He goes, "Yeah, man, that's crazy. You hear about these guys that live in their van? It's wild, man. People turn their van into their house." And he goes, "I saw a guy once, he turned his whole bike into a house." It's crazy, man. He had a, he had a range on the handlebars, he had his bed on the seat. It was nuts. Can you believe that? And the kid in the back, he goes, "Yeah, man, that's nuts." And he goes, "Yeah, you believe it? Well, you're fucking stupid."

• 1:12:53Speaker 06

  "And I don't drive stupid people. Get the fuck out of my car."

• 1:13:02Speaker 06

  Todd is the greatest. When I, um, when, uh, before, before we put the special out, we screened it in a couple different places.

• 1:13:09Andrew Santino?

  Please watch the special right now. Please pause this video and go watch the special. I never promised you a rose garden, come on back, okay?

• 1:13:17Speaker 06

  Uh, we did-

• 1:13:18Andrew Santino?

  Welcome back.

• 1:13:19Speaker 06

  We did, we did a screening in Austin at the Creek and Cave and, um, and it just so happened that the show before we screened it, uh, Todd and Eddie were on the show.

• 1:13:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:13:33Speaker 06

  So I got there and I was like, "Yo, guys, what's up?" Yeah, like, because I hadn't seen him in a minute. And they're like, "Whoa, what's up? What are you doing?" And I was like, "I'm about to screen my special." And they stayed and they like, Todd came on stage when I was doing the intro-

• 1:13:46Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 1:13:47Speaker 06

  And crushed the intro and like, made everybody laugh. And then, you know, you do the dumb, we'll do a Q and A, does anybody, you know what I mean?

• 1:13:54Andrew Santino?

  Uh, you got any questions?

• 1:13:55Speaker 06

  And you feel like an idiot. And Eddie kept asking ridiculous questions. Those guys, that meant, that was one of those moments in stand-up to me where it was like, "Fuck the goals, fuck the money, fuck what we're all trying to do, fuck the, whatever." You're sitting there and these guys that you have admired for so long are jumping in on it with you and fucking around and joking. You're like, "This is-"

• 1:14:22Andrew Santino?

  That's what it's about.

• 1:14:22Speaker 06

  "Awesome, man."

• 1:14:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:24Speaker 06

  Like, this is like, why?

• 1:14:24Andrew Santino?

  Fucking having fun with your friends.

• 1:14:26Speaker 06

  Oh, it's the best, man. It's the best.

• 1:14:28Andrew Santino?

  It is the best.

• 1:14:28Speaker 06

  It's the best.

• 1:14:29Andrew Santino?

  You wanna go get something to eat? Let's go. You gotta finish that.

• 1:14:33Speaker 06

  I am hammered.

• 1:14:35Andrew Santino?

  I think hammered, alright.

• 1:14:37Speaker 06

  What is the proof on this whiskey?

• 1:14:41Andrew Santino?

  132, 66 and a half, 66.1.

• 1:14:46Speaker 06

  That's, it's 132 proof?

• 1:14:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 06

  Jesus Christ, dude. Are you kidding?

• 1:14:51Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  Wait, what?

• 1:14:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, I told ya.

• 1:14:56Andrew Santino?

  We drank a lot of it, too.

• 1:14:58Speaker 06

  Jesus Christ, dude, 132 proof?

• 1:15:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we'll be alright.

• 1:15:03Speaker 06

  I mean, I'm fine, I'm not mad at it, but...

• 1:15:07Andrew Santino?

  It falls out of the chair, breaks his neck.

• 1:15:09Speaker 06

  Jesus Christ. Wait, where are you at in your glass? But did you refill or not?

• 1:15:14Andrew Santino?

  I did.

• 1:15:14Speaker 06

  You did?

• 1:15:15Andrew Santino?

  The cameras can show it. I refilled it.

• 1:15:17Speaker 06

  Alright.

• 1:15:18Andrew Santino?

  But I gave you way more. Slow down, we're fine. Let's just end the show and we'll hang.

• 1:15:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:22Andrew Santino?

  I love you.

• 1:15:22Speaker 06

  I'm not gonna pound it. Actually, I was.

• 1:15:25Andrew Santino?

  Do it! Oh, I wanted it so bad. You're not driving, I'll Uber ya.

• 1:15:29Speaker 06

  No, dude, you're talking about going to the store and maybe getting on stage.

• 1:15:32Andrew Santino?

  You're coming with.

• 1:15:33Speaker 06

  No, I know, I'm saying that's why I can't like... I can't walk in there like...

• 1:15:37Andrew Santino?

  We'll get some food, we'll love it.

• 1:15:38Speaker 06

  Hey, guys, we wanna go eat?

• 1:15:41Andrew Santino?

  I got a spot. We end the show the same way.

• 1:15:44Speaker 06

  Can we get a steak?

• 1:15:45Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 1:15:46Speaker 06

  Alright, I will.

• 1:15:47Andrew Santino?

  We end the show the same way.

• 1:15:50Andrew Santino?

  I first wanna say, DeRosa and I, old friends that I love so... A guy that I love so fucking much and is so fucking funny. Please go watch his special right now.

• 1:15:59Speaker 06

  Thank you, buddy.

• 1:15:59Andrew Santino?

  I never promised you a rose garden, it's available right now on his YouTube, and it's also on the link in the description down below. Look into that camera, say one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or one phrase.

• 1:16:09Speaker 06

  I will have sex with Andrew Santino tonight.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  Oh, that creature in the ginger beard!

• 1:16:22Speaker 05

  It's sturdy, ginger.

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  Like Bemba's, the ginger gene is a curse.

• 1:16:26Speaker 05

  Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. The whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.