Alison Brie asks about changing your personality

Alison Brie (and her cat Otis!) asks Handsome a delightful and revealing question about trying on different personalities. Plus "hide the peanut", A syrupy-sweet nickname, and some real talk about femme-ing it up in the bathroom. Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy.

• 1:20Mae Martin?

  So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:48Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers.

• 1:50Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I am here, I'm Mae Martin, I'm one of your hosts. I'm joined by? Dignotaro. I am also a host. Oh, what's your name?

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  I'm Fortune Beamster. I'm, I think I'm also a host.

• 2:03Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely. We all three. I think it's safe to say at this point, you're one of the hosts.

• 2:09Fortune Feimster?

  You guys, the host with the most.

• 2:12Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's up to you.

• 2:14Fortune Feimster?

  No, all of us, we're the hosts.

• 2:16Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  And you just can hear the S, hosts.

• 2:20Tig Notaro?

  You know, it's fine. I I'm not terribly competitive.

• 2:25Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 2:25Tig Notaro?

  I'll be honest. No, except when Stephanie wants to play 20 questions. Then my competitive side comes out.

• 2:33Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 2:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:34Fortune Feimster?

  What is 20 questions?

• 2:35Tig Notaro?

  I don't think of that as a very competitive game, but. Well, her mother pointed it out yesterday because Stephanie is so good. Like if you say, oh, there is a comedian that has, you know, moved, whatever, some sort of, you put out some sort of information. And then Stephanie will be like, oh, can I guess who it is? And I'll be like, sure. Or I'll be like, oh, so and so started dating so and so. You know, how I love to gossip and she goes, she'll say, can I, can I ask 20 questions? And then I'll say, sure.

• 3:13Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, to like, figure out who it is.

• 3:15Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And so, so we will play that very, she's so good, it's stupid. And so the other morning, her mother was here with us and we're having coffee, chatting. Something comes up. Stephanie says, can I, can we play 20 questions? Sure. We're playing. And then Stephanie's mother's like, whoa, gosh, you're just as competitive as Stephanie. And I was like, what do you mean? And I realized when she pointed this out, that if Stephanie asks a question, and then she asks something on top of that question, I'm like, that's your fourth question. That's not like part of your third question.

• 3:54Fortune Feimster?

  Right, right.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  And so I get really competitive with this because Stephanie is, she's so competitive. She's so good at it.

• 4:01Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 4:02Tig Notaro?

  But in general, I'm, I'm just not terribly competitive.

• 4:08Tig Notaro?

  Like, I'm just not terribly competitive. Right.

• 4:12Fortune Feimster?

  I can see that. And you'd be like, you're like, yeah, so what? I'm lost. Who cares?

• 4:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I'm lost. Who cares? No, like, I remember doing long distance cycling, sometimes for charity.

• 4:27Tig Notaro?

  And some people, even though it's not a race, some people still race. And I was dead last and it was a four day ride.

• 4:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, four days. Was that the AIDS life cycle? What is it?

• 4:41Tig Notaro?

  One of them was, yeah. Yeah, but it's like 100 mile days that you're cycling.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Did your booty not hurt?

• 4:49Tig Notaro?

  Um, I mean, it does, but you also spend a lot of time training. And so you're building up to that moment. You're not just getting on the bike.

• 4:59Fortune Feimster?

  I just pictured just getting on the bike and be like, I guess we're doing this.

• 5:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Mae Martin?

  But you came dead last and you were like, yeah, whatever. I had the experience.

• 5:07Tig Notaro?

  I came dead last, but I mainly came dead last because I blew out one of my knees. And you know, those like clip in bike shoes in the pedal?

• 5:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Tig Notaro?

  I rested my foot of the busted knee on the fork of my bike and use the other one to pedal nearly 50 miles.

• 5:29Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa.

• 5:30Tig Notaro?

  And I kept picturing that my right thigh was going to be three times the size of my left by the time I reached Portland, Maine. But that's not the only time I just, in general, I just, I don't, I don't, I just don't feel.

• 5:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:45Tig Notaro?

  Um, work, um, sports, any, any of that kind of stuff. I'm just like, I just don't, I don't feel it.

• 5:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:54Mae Martin?

  I think you should introduce, instead of 20 questions, I play hide the peanut, where one person hides a peanut metaphorically somewhere in the universe. And then you have yes or no questions to find this peanut. It could be in the past, the present, the future. It could be in a fictional place, a real place. And you'd be amazed how quickly you whittle down like the whole universe and find this peanut.

• 6:18Tig Notaro?

  And you have, you have played this?

• 6:20Mae Martin?

  This is, I play it all the time.

• 6:22Tig Notaro?

  All the time.

• 6:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:24Tig Notaro?

  All the time. Try and pull May from the hide the peanut game.

• 6:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:30Fortune Feimster?

  Peanut.

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  I'll hide one right now if you want.

• 6:31Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my Lord.

• 6:33Mae Martin?

  I've hidden one.

• 6:34Tig Notaro?

  I'm not good at these games.

• 6:36Fortune Feimster?

  So we have to guess where it is?

• 6:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yes or no questions.

• 6:39Fortune Feimster?

  Um, is it in space?

• 6:41Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:42Tig Notaro?

  Is it on Earth?

• 6:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:44Tig Notaro?

  Okay, then what is it? That's how I am.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  Is it in, is it in Los Angeles?

• 6:49Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:50Fortune Feimster?

  Is it in California?

• 6:51Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:52Tig Notaro?

  England?

• 6:53Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:54Fortune Feimster?

  Is it in Toronto?

• 6:55Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, okay. Is it in the room with you now?

• 6:59Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 7:00Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, Tig.

• 7:02Tig Notaro?

  Just tell us, just tell us.

• 7:04Mae Martin?

  No, you're so close.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Is it, is it, um, on, on your body?

• 7:10Mae Martin?

  Yes, in a way.

• 7:11Tig Notaro?

  I give up. What is it?

• 7:13Fortune Feimster?

  In a way? Well, Tig, we've narrowed it down so much.

• 7:18Tig Notaro?

  I don't like games.

• 7:19Fortune Feimster?

  By we, I mean me, you've contributed nothing.

• 7:22Tig Notaro?

  I don't, I don't like games.

• 7:23Mae Martin?

  Where do you think I would keep a peanut? On my person?

• 7:27Tig Notaro?

  In your shoe.

• 7:28Mae Martin?

  Mm-mm.

• 7:29Fortune Feimster?

  In your ear?

• 7:30Mae Martin?

  Mm-mm.

• 7:31Tig Notaro?

  Pocket.

• 7:32Fortune Feimster?

  Is it in your hat?

• 7:33Mae Martin?

  No.

• 7:35Tig Notaro?

  Mouth.

• 7:36Mae Martin?

  Think about the pod.

• 7:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, uh, under, behind a picture frame?

• 7:41Mae Martin?

  No.

• 7:43Fortune Feimster?

  Think about the pod?

• 7:44Tig Notaro?

  Ponties, it's in your ponties.

• 7:45Mae Martin?

  It's in my ponties, it's in my ponties.

• 7:47Tig Notaro?

  Look at that. I got it, look at that.

• 7:50Mae Martin?

  You got it.

• 7:51Fortune Feimster?

  I thought you were gonna be useless and then you really came through at the end.

• 7:54Tig Notaro?

  That's truly how I play with Stephanie when she's like wanting to do, uh, 20 questions with me, you know, and then I'll, I'll guess some things. I'm like, what, what is it? What is it? I don't, just where?

• 8:07Fortune Feimster?

  You just give up?

• 8:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 8:10Fortune Feimster?

  I think I wanna, um, there's a lot of games that I used to play that I've not played in many, many years, um, and then I wanna come back to playing again.

• 8:18Mae Martin?

  Like what?

• 8:19Tig Notaro?

  Hopscotch, hopscotch.

• 8:20Fortune Feimster?

  Is this any, any board game? When people will mention board games, I'm like, oh, I don't remember how that goes. Uno, I don't remember how that's played.

• 8:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me neither, actually.

• 8:28Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know, just any kind of game.

• 8:30Mae Martin?

  I wonder if we could make a handsome board game that's like Monopoly, but all the places are, you know, there's a pontoon, you can, or, or, you know, a button factory.

• 8:41Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a pontoon.

• 8:42Mae Martin?

  Actually, if anyone's listening and wants to make a handsome.

• 8:46Tig Notaro?

  If anyone's listening.

• 8:48Fortune Feimster?

  If anyone is listening to this pod, let us know.

• 8:52Tig Notaro?

  I love that song.

• 8:53Mae Martin?

  Papa, can you hear me?

• 8:55Fortune Feimster?

  Papa, can you hear me? I should text Phillip and ask Little Big Town to do a question.

• 9:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:01Fortune Feimster?

  And tell them that Handsome's favorite pontoon song is On The Pontoon.

• 9:07Mae Martin?

  Well, why don't we get Barbara Streisand to ask a question?

• 9:12Fortune Feimster?

  We don't have any contact with Barbara Streisand.

• 9:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, what brought up Barbara Streisand?

• 9:16Mae Martin?

  Because of Yentl, Papa, can you hear me?

• 9:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh. Yeah, but we have to have some sort of in.

• 9:23Fortune Feimster?

  We just did with Babs.

• 9:25Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, if Babs sent in a video.

• 9:28Mae Martin?

  I'd die.

• 9:29Fortune Feimster?

  Hello, Handsome.

• 9:30Tig Notaro?

  That would be, that's impossible, right?

• 9:33Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's impossible. She's not really wanting to talk to anybody.

• 9:39Mae Martin?

  I feel like it's actually more impossible than, say, Obama, Paul McCartney, like, the big name. Like, Babs is really unreachable, I think.

• 9:46Tig Notaro?

  Oprah.

• 9:47Fortune Feimster?

  She has, like, a mall in her house.

• 9:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Where she can go, she has a mall in her basement where she can go shopping for antique dolls, I think. Like, there's shops.

• 9:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, my friends have been there. Because I did, I did this show called Life in Pieces. Uh, it was on CBS a few years back, and her husband was on the show. And Barbara invited the ladies of the show, but the series regulars, to their freaking house for lunch when they were doing this show, and they got to take a tour and see all this stuff. And I couldn't believe it.

• 10:22Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 10:23Fortune Feimster?

  I was not as, I was a recurring character, but not a series regular. So I wasn't in that, but I would have died to go.

• 10:31Mae Martin?

  Imagine having a mall in your, a mall in your house.

• 10:34Tig Notaro?

  I would never want.

• 10:35Fortune Feimster?

  Very confused.

• 10:36Tig Notaro?

  I, I'm so confused.

• 10:38Fortune Feimster?

  She also cloned her dog, I think, right?

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  She cloned her dog multiple times.

• 10:42Tig Notaro?

  I can understand that. I can't understand having a mall in your house.

• 10:46Mae Martin?

  Well, she wants to have a normal experience, and she can't just go to the mall, so she.

• 10:50Tig Notaro?

  And that's a normal experience, is having a mall in your house?

• 10:54Fortune Feimster?

  Memories like the corner of my mind.

• 10:59Tig Notaro?

  I stand by guilty being the best.

• 11:02Fortune Feimster?

  And we got nothing to be guilty of. I'm a.

• 11:09Fortune Feimster?

  I don't remember the words.

• 11:21Mae Martin?

  I'm amazed that she's not on the pod.

• 11:24Fortune Feimster?

  That song is a jam, Tig, you're right.

• 11:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, guilty. And my favorite, favorite line, or part of the song, is that make it a crime to be lonely or sad.

• 11:36Fortune Feimster?

  Make it a crime, yes.

• 11:38Tig Notaro?

  Make it a crime, have the police pull over and lock you up.

• 11:42Fortune Feimster?

  Are you lonely or sad? This is illegal.

• 11:46Mae Martin?

  But are they cheating on their spouses and they're saying, we got, we don't have to be guilty.

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  Is that what it's about?

• 11:53Mae Martin?

  I think it's about an affair and they're like.

• 11:55Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, no.

• 11:57Mae Martin?

  Sorry.

• 12:01Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna Google this.

• 12:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Is Babs guilty?

• 12:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, should Babs be guilty? Um, I got an update for you guys.

• 12:12Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 12:12Mae Martin?

  Well, I don't know if it was on a Minnesota or if I was talking about how I have a foosball table.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  Did I tell you guys that? Yeah. And my, my friend, Matt, who lives in my back house, he's like incredible at foosball and I played him thousands of times. I've only beat him three times and it's really something he's good at. And so I Googled, he's new to LA. And I found a foosball competition in Angel City Brewery and it's the only one in LA. It's every Thursday. And I was like, Matt, we should sign up. And boy, do we take it seriously. Every morning he's like, hey, buddy, do you mind practicing with me? Like, he was really driven and we got dressed up. The day came, we were nervous. I was like, we're gonna be on their turf, whoever these foosball people are.

• 12:58Tig Notaro?

  Turf.

• 12:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like they could be like jocks or savants, like foosball savants. Anyway, guys, we won the tournament.

• 13:09Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 13:10Mae Martin?

  You know why?

• 13:11Fortune Feimster?

  Why?

• 13:11Mae Martin?

  Cause no one else showed up.

• 13:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:15Tig Notaro?

  Congrats, May.

• 13:16Mae Martin?

  It was so embarrassing.

• 13:19Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 13:20Mae Martin?

  It was more embarrassing than losing was just waiting there with the signup sheet at the bar. We signed up and just no one came. And so me and Matt just played.

• 13:29Fortune Feimster?

  Dang.

• 13:30Mae Martin?

  Where's the foosball community?

• 13:32Fortune Feimster?

  Where? Well, do you know the comedian Kelsey Cook?

• 13:35Mae Martin?

  Kelsey Cook?

• 13:36Fortune Feimster?

  Y'all might not have crossed paths. She lives in Minneapolis now. She used to live in LA, but she's an incredible foosball player and plays in like tournaments and stuff, so.

• 13:44Mae Martin?

  Really? You know, so is Lisa Gilroy and, uh, but she wins largely because her shit talk is so funny that you're like doubled over. She does this thing where she goes, you want it? You want it? Well, you can't have it.

• 14:00Fortune Feimster?

  So you're telling me Lisa Gilroy is funny?

• 14:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, man.

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  You want it? You want it? But you can't have it. I, and you can't like, your muscles get weak from laughing. It's a really good, but she is also a great player.

• 14:15Fortune Feimster?

  I like that, the, the, um, table shuffleboard game, you know, at a bar?

• 14:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:21Fortune Feimster?

  The big, long one that you do with your hands?

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 14:25Fortune Feimster?

  With the salts?

• 14:26Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:26Fortune Feimster?

  I love those. There, you put, there's like salt on the board or whatever.

• 14:30Mae Martin?

  Oh, to make it slide?

• 14:31Fortune Feimster?

  It helps it slide. I love that game.

• 14:34Mae Martin?

  Maybe I have to get one of those.

• 14:36Tig Notaro?

  Are you going for a full-on bachelor pad, Matt, May?

• 14:39Mae Martin?

  It's becoming, do you almost call me Max?

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  I don't know. I just, my mouth is moving and sounds come out.

• 14:46Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 14:49Mae Martin?

  I am, it's becoming Pee-wee's Playhouse, my house. It's, I bought a Zoltar machine. I,

• 14:55Tig Notaro?

  What is that?

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  You know, like from Big that tells your fortune? And it's Zoltar.

• 15:00Tig Notaro?

  Oh. So you have one of those in your house?

• 15:03Mae Martin?

  I thought I'd ordered a full-size. It shows up, it's this big. It's, it's like,

• 15:08Tig Notaro?

  You wanted full-size.

• 15:10Mae Martin?

  I wanted full-size.

• 15:11Fortune Feimster?

  I think the smaller one's better, no?

• 15:13Mae Martin?

  Why?

• 15:14Fortune Feimster?

  Cause it's not some giant head.

• 15:18Mae Martin?

  I want the giant one.

• 15:21Fortune Feimster?

  Funny. I gotta come to this bachelor pad at some point to see what's happening over there.

• 15:25Mae Martin?

  I'll get that shuffleboard game if it'll make you come. I mean, that sounds.

• 15:39Fortune Feimster?

  We're very mature over here.

• 15:41Mae Martin?

  It was so pure art.

• 15:42Fortune Feimster?

  So are you, are you loving this house? It seems like this was a good investment, huh?

• 15:47Mae Martin?

  Loving this house. Yeah, I really am. Yeah.

• 15:50Tig Notaro?

  And it feels like home now? Cause I had asked you in the early days, is it feeling like home? You said no.

• 15:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it is feeling like home. Yeah. Yeah. And, and like a real homeowner, like stuff is breaking and then I gotta get it fixed and that kinda like it all.

• 16:05Tig Notaro?

  It's such a, I'm, I'm jealous of that feeling of, um, the beginning of trying to make a house feel like a home. Like it's such a fun, new experience.

• 16:17Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it really is.

• 16:18Tig Notaro?

  Where you like go to bed at night at first and you're like, oh, this is a strange room. This is, where am I? And then boom, one day you are home.

• 16:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. And no one can kick you out. No landlord's gonna say.

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  As long as you pay your bills.

• 16:35Tig Notaro?

  Well, I mean, did you buy your house outright? Because people could.

• 16:39Mae Martin?

  What do you mean? No.

• 16:41Tig Notaro?

  All right. Do you have a mortgage?

• 16:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:43Tig Notaro?

  They could kick you out if you don't. Yeah, you have to keep paying.

• 16:47Mae Martin?

  But I'm, who's gonna kick me out? The bank?

• 16:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 16:49Tig Notaro?

  Yes, they will. Take your house.

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah. No, I mean, I mean, I'll pay the mortgage.

• 16:54Tig Notaro?

  The bank will be like, this is mine. Thank you. Bye bye. I already bought this. Get out of my house, bank.

• 17:08Fortune Feimster?

  I still have so many things not on the walls at my house and I've been here two and a half years.

• 17:14Mae Martin?

  Yes, I, maybe you need some big arts. I'm like a big giant.

• 17:18Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I don't know if I'll end up selling this place and I kinda want something smaller.

• 17:23Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 17:23Fortune Feimster?

  It's, it's too big and now it's just me. So.

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  You wanna move into my back house with Matt and his girlfriend?

• 17:29Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's definitely too small.

• 17:33Fortune Feimster?

  I would like, uh, my, my last house I adored. It was the best and I made it exactly how I wanted it. It was a little too small, so I want something in between these two.

• 17:43Mae Martin?

  It's a good, like, fresh start. I mean, I, I was post-breakup, bought the house and it was distracting and, uh, felt empowering to like, make your space your own. Yeah.

• 17:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm not in a hurry. It might not be anytime soon, but at some point.

• 18:01Mae Martin?

  Tell us that you're gonna bring that fake plant with you if you move.

• 18:05Fortune Feimster?

  This is coming everywhere with me. I love that this is.

• 18:08Mae Martin?

  First thing you pack.

• 18:09Fortune Feimster?

  This is how I'm zhuzhing up my Zoom box.

• 18:14Tig Notaro?

  Where do I put my plastic plant?

• 18:18Fortune Feimster?

  I might make this other room in here a little handsome spot with a chair and everything. You guys just wait to see.

• 18:25Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean a handsome spot?

• 18:27Fortune Feimster?

  Like a little corner of this room, I might put like a chair and like hang something up on the wall. Definitely the fake plant.

• 18:35Tig Notaro?

  But I mean handsome, meaning when you record handsome?

• 18:38Fortune Feimster?

  When I record, that will be my spot. Yeah.

• 18:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay, alright.

• 18:41Fortune Feimster?

  Right now, I'm just at my desk, but I might make a designated handsome spot.

• 18:46Mae Martin?

  Do you think you'll ever move, Tig? Like, like when the boys go off to college or whatever, would you guys move?

• 18:51Tig Notaro?

  Um, we have talked about, um, yeah, potentially selling our house when they graduate and just moving back into our office, which is, you know, just a little bungalow, um, that we love very much.

• 19:08Mae Martin?

  It's kind of a sexy vibe, the office. It's, it's, it's unusual, the layout and there's like, it's, it's stained glass and stuff, right? It's beautiful, yeah.

• 19:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we really love it there and, um, and our, and we love where we live now. We just, I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but we have never.

• 19:29Tig Notaro?

  Like done our house.

• 19:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:31Tig Notaro?

  Because we moved in when Max and Finn were one and they were so nuts that we didn't even have furniture in the living room for the first, like till they were two.

• 19:42Mae Martin?

  You've never like adultified the house.

• 19:45Tig Notaro?

  No. And then by the time they finally kind of calmed down, we never put art on the walls. We just, we were, we just had these two little lunatics running around. And then by the time they kind of pulled it together, it was a pandemic and then we couldn't even deal with, you know,

• 20:01Mae Martin?

  Shopping.

• 20:02Tig Notaro?

  Doing, doing our house or having somebody come in. And then, so now we're getting to that place where we're like, Max and Finn are so chill. And the pandemic's over and let's actually do something with our house.

• 20:17Mae Martin?

  Did you ever watch those like extreme home makeover shows where like they always, they ask the kids what they're into? And then they'll say one thing and then they'll turn the room and like they'll go, I kind of like horses. And then they'll run with it and they'll turn the bedroom into like a barn. And the kids are always like, okay, I don't know if I'm that into horses. Yeah. Maybe I'll redo your house. You tell me what you're into and then I'll surprise you with Zoltar.

• 20:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Stephanie wouldn't, that wouldn't fly with her. She's not chill with what is in the house. So I, I know right away Zoltar wouldn't fly. Or any surprises.

• 20:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 20:58Tig Notaro?

  Not, not one surprise will fly.

• 21:02Tig Notaro?

  I mean, to be fair, I don't know that I'd want Zoltar in the house.

• 21:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's fair. Max and Finn might be into him.

• 21:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I think for sure. But um, maybe you could surprise them and put one in there. Well, you have, they each have their own room, so.

• 21:15Mae Martin?

  It's two, that's two full size Zoltars.

• 21:17Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 21:18Mae Martin?

  That's great.

• 21:19Tig Notaro?

  Should we um, get into our uh, question?

• 21:22Mae Martin?

  Yes. I'm really excited about today's question asker. I feel like this has been a long time coming because this is a friend of the pod, Alison Brie. Um, oh, I already gave away her name, but um,

• 21:36Tig Notaro?

  Still a friend.

• 21:37Fortune Feimster?

  Still a friend. Still Allison Brie. Handsome pod and is really awesome.

• 21:43Mae Martin?

  She's the best and she's an actor, writer, producer, best known for her starring roles on Mad Men and Community. She was nominated for a Golden Globe for playing Ruth on Glow and has appeared in films like Somebody I Used to Know and Promising Young Woman. And her new movie with her husband, Dave Franco, together, which is apparently so terrifying and I can't wait to see it. Allison Brie is asking today's question.

• 22:09Tig Notaro?

  Nice.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Hi, Handsoms, Allison Brie here. Um, huge fan Tig, May, Fortune, big fan of all three of you. Huge fan of the pod. Okay, this is Otis. My question is, was there ever a time?

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Was there ever a time in your life where you consciously decided to try on a different personality? And how did it go? I'll give you an example that's not my answer, which is that a friend of mine in high school switched schools, um, like sophomore year. And at the other school, she went by her middle name and just had like a totally different personality. And then when she left that school, she just went back to using her regular name, her first name. Um, have you ever done anything like that and how'd it go?

• 23:10Tig Notaro?

  First of all, I did not realize um, that Allison Brie was gonna be a part of Kitty City.

• 23:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, she's a Kitty City gal. Otis. Otis was really getting in there.

• 23:23Tig Notaro?

  I know. And I loved her attention to Otis when he came in for kisses when she was mid-question.

• 23:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. She's got her priorities straight. Is that normal cat behavior? I thought they were more standoffish. They can be standoffish, but man, can they be snuggly, lovey dovey. And all, all three of our cats are very standoffish and lovey dovey. I've never had a cat.

• 23:52Mae Martin?

  Otis had like a, almost a dog vibe, but that's a kind of a dog name, Otis. And then, yeah, he was, yeah. I love that question because I'm constantly paranoid that I'm accidentally changing my personality. Like, I, I feel like I have a loose grip on my personality and I'm, I'm up for it, changing like.

• 24:13Tig Notaro?

  Is sort of, is it easily influenced?

• 24:17Mae Martin?

  Not as much anymore, but definitely as a teenager, oh my God, like, and, and really similar experience was I would go to summer camp every summer and I'd kind of decide who I was going to be or see when I got there, like,

• 24:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:30Mae Martin?

  what would be most useful socially. And I think I've said this on the pod, but I went to camp one summer and I go, yeah, I'm May, but everybody calls, calls me maple sugar. And everyone's like, no, they don't. I'm like, no one called me that and it didn't catch on. And then I was always acting really tortured and kind of mysterious and like, yeah, I got some stuff going on back home.

• 24:57Tig Notaro?

  And wait, what, what made you think maple sugar? What'd you say? Maple syrup?

• 25:03Mae Martin?

  Maple sugar.

• 25:03Tig Notaro?

  Maple sugar was, was cool?

• 25:06Mae Martin?

  I think cause May Pearl is my first name.

• 25:09Tig Notaro?

  Yes, which I love.

• 25:11Mae Martin?

  Thanks. I think it was cause um, it was middle school. So it was just in the two-year period where I had long hair, the only time in my life. And I think I was keenly aware that I, I was not feminine enough, like, and all these cool girls were in my cabin. And I thought, maple sugar sounds kind of like a cool femme name. Like I would maybe be a cheerleader or something. And it did not fly.

• 25:36Tig Notaro?

  Give it up for maple sugar, y'all.

• 25:40Mae Martin?

  It's such a long nickname too, like.

• 25:43Fortune Feimster?

  It's like a drag name.

• 25:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that of my three letter name. They call me this sentence.

• 25:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Fortune Feimster?

  You think you were like telling people you had a lot of stuff going on back home, hoping they would be like, what's going on? Tell, tell us like, like an attention thing?

• 26:00Tig Notaro?

  And would you tell them what was going on? Or would you make up like, well, my dad's a bandit and.

• 26:06Mae Martin?

  I think I did lie quite a bit in around that time, like middle school era. Like I definitely had a fake boyfriend and.

• 26:15Mae Martin?

  But it was.

• 26:15Tig Notaro?

  I mean, don't we all?

• 26:16Mae Martin?

  Don't we all? It was like, it was this friend of mine, Cliff Cardinal. He wrote me a letter at camp and then I decided to pretend that the letter was like my from, he was just my friend.

• 26:28Fortune Feimster?

  Like a love letter.

• 26:29Mae Martin?

  I had a crush on him. Yeah. And I pretended it was like, there's some stuff going on with my boyfriend. Like he's having a tough time. And I wouldn't let anyone read the letter.

• 26:37Fortune Feimster?

  Because would not believe what is in this letter.

• 26:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 26:42Mae Martin?

  Burning it really quick.

• 26:45Tig Notaro?

  It's very private. Don't even ask.

• 26:48Mae Martin?

  And the letter was like, hey, bro, hope you're having a good time.

• 26:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What about you guys? Like, I take, I feel like you were genuinely to your core, that, that cowboy person. So you weren't, it wasn't, it wasn't an affectation.

• 27:05Tig Notaro?

  No, I mean, I definitely leaned more into it and you know, I, I was, I was a little rebel.

• 27:15Tig Notaro?

  Chip on my shoulder. I've, you know, I'm still working through all of it as an adult.

• 27:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 27:20Tig Notaro?

  You gotta have your, you have to have your little shell to protect you and use your whatever personality, part of your personality to hide everything. So, um, yeah, but I, I was really, you know, the kid that was off in the woods and in the creek and smoking and failing and, um, sneaking out of the house and doing all that, you know, driving around in the car without a license when I could barely look over the steering wheel. Like that is all factual. I have many people that can back up all of this information about me. But, um, I would say like on an unfortunate kind of like.

• 28:02Tig Notaro?

  Really unfortunate level. The times that I have changed my personality has been when I've felt fearful, you know, in like a public bathroom or something. You know, you get like weird looks or, you know, how do you, who are you? How do you identify? And I've noticed myself sometimes trying to like fem it up a little bit when I go in the bathroom, you know? And then I just think, God, it's so pathetic that, that I would have to, to do that.

• 28:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 28:38Tig Notaro?

  So, um, no real funny story there, but, um, but yeah, that's really the, the time that I, I, I notice it the most. And, and that's a point that I always use to people that, you know, any sort of confusion somebody has around, um, trans people or non-binary people, it's like.

• 28:58Mae Martin?

  It ends up policing all, all women.

• 29:00Tig Notaro?

  The whole, everybody.

• 29:02Mae Martin?

  Like cis women as well.

• 29:03Tig Notaro?

  Everybody, everybody, you know? And so, yeah, it's, it's just a weird little moment in life where I'm like, excuse me, come and see. Not really. Excuse me, I'm just trying to get in the stall.

• 29:18Speaker 00

  I just have to go peepee. I have to tinkle.

• 29:21Tig Notaro?

  I can't believe I didn't wear my dress today because it'd be so much easier to just fling that thing up in the air.

• 29:29Fortune Feimster?

  I've been called sir in several bathrooms and I'm like, really?

• 29:33Tig Notaro?

  You get called sir?

• 29:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I've, I've had a woman once in an airport bathroom be like, this is the women's restroom. I'm like, yep.

• 29:41Tig Notaro?

  I know, I've said the same thing. I'm like, oh, that works out perfectly.

• 29:44Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 29:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's, that is, it always feels like a minefield to me constantly on guard. Did you guys ever, when you first started comedy, like, and you're in, in love with comedy and you're in green rooms with more experienced comedians, like try to adopt the persona of a comedian almost like, like, yeah, good, good set. Yeah, I like the tag. Like, oh, I could, you know what I mean? Like I, I was so excited to be part of that community that I'm sure I was like. You know, with my little notebook and trying to.

• 30:15Tig Notaro?

  And then dropping your voice a little like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, nice. Sweet.

• 30:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 30:20Tig Notaro?

  I don't know. I don't know. That doesn't feel familiar. It doesn't feel as familiar as me saying, excuse me. I just have to get a tampon out of my purse.

• 30:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 30:32Tig Notaro?

  I gotta plug my cooter.

• 30:34Mae Martin?

  I gotta plug my cooter.

• 30:37Tig Notaro?

  You hear that in a stall in the bathroom.

• 30:41Tig Notaro?

  Got to plug my cooter.

• 30:48Mae Martin?

  Fortune, what about going to college after living in a small town like?

• 30:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 30:52Mae Martin?

  Like, that's a chance to be a different person.

• 30:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I was like cognizant of like not changing too much because um, my mom, she listens to this, like, oh, don't worry, you're bringing this up. But my mom used to, back in the day, whenever she would, after my parents divorced, she went through a couple of relationships. And in those relationships, she significantly changed to um, be who she thought that that that those particular men wanted her to be. So that always bugged me because I was just, I didn't understand it. I was young and I was like, why are you being somebody or not?

• 31:39Fortune Feimster?

  And in the most extreme version of that, one was, he was very conservative. I talked about this in my Sweet and Salty special where he just, like, my family had gone to Hooters their whole life and he just was like,

• 31:53Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 31:53Fortune Feimster?

  Not into that stuff. And she was like, I have never been to Hooters in front of him. And.

• 32:01Tig Notaro?

  Although I have been to Cooters.

• 32:05Fortune Feimster?

  And even though that story is very funny, it's based on her completely changing for this person.

• 32:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:12Fortune Feimster?

  So I always had that in the back of my head of like, not veering too far off.

• 32:20Fortune Feimster?

  But you know, when you're young, you're still kind of trying to find yourself. So you have to sort of try on different hats to see like, well, who am I? And so younger days, sports was a big part of my personality. But then in college, I had this weird thing. I hung out with a lot of church going people. And so I kind of tried that on for a while, like, oh, I'm a church gal.

• 32:49Fortune Feimster?

  And yeah, that was probably the most, the biggest swing away from my personality.

• 32:57Tig Notaro?

  But you do love the Lord, right?

• 32:59Fortune Feimster?

  I love the Lord.

• 33:03Mae Martin?

  But you're just looking for community, right?

• 33:06Fortune Feimster?

  I think I was looking for community and, and my family was pretty fractured at the time. My grandmother had just passed and, and I was a bit lost. So my, my grandmother died the day after I moved into college. So I was experiencing this, um, brand new school. I didn't know anybody. I was lost. I was sad. Um, and so those are the times when you're the most susceptible to any influence. And so I met some really great people, um, who were religious and kind of was like, well, let me see what they're doing. I like hanging out with them and their church was all about family and stuff. And I think

• 33:48Fortune Feimster?

  it like, made me want family and crave, um, that. And so I thought, well, if I do that, then I can have, I can create a family for myself one day and just, you know, eventually realized that, oh, this is not me at all. Um, but uh, yeah, and then I tried like theater um, in college too, and maybe I'm a theater kid and I liked it. But it was in, in the irony is that I act now, but I'm not a theater kid. Um.

• 34:21Mae Martin?

  Really? I feel like you got the some theater kid and you like a musical.

• 34:25Fortune Feimster?

  I love a musical.

• 34:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 34:26Fortune Feimster?

  But you know that dramatic like.

• 34:28Mae Martin?

  Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:29Fortune Feimster?

  Like expressing yourself and what in big ways. I'm not quite that.

• 34:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 34:37Fortune Feimster?

  And so then when I moved to, when I eventually moved to LA, it was when I came out, I think. Um, was like, anything up until coming out was like, I'm sort of blowing with the wind here.

• 34:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 34:49Fortune Feimster?

  I come out and then I'm like, oh, I know, I know who I am. And I'm, and it just set me on this journey of like, like being so much more comfortable in my own skin.

• 35:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:04Fortune Feimster?

  Doing what I wanted to do, not trying to fit in elsewhere or, you know, it just, that was the thing that really set me on my path.

• 35:14Mae Martin?

  Took off your bonnet.

• 35:16Fortune Feimster?

  And took off my, and then, and I would say right in this present day time, going through all the changes I'm going through. The one thing I've realized is I know myself better than I ever have. And I am so much clearer on what I want.

• 35:32Mae Martin?

  That's great.

• 35:33Fortune Feimster?

  Ever been.

• 35:34Mae Martin?

  I guess it keeps changing your whole life till, till you croak, right? We're, yeah, and that fluidity is so important.

• 35:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 35:43Mae Martin?

  When you started doing comedy, did you guys try different, like, I feel like I just impersonated other comedians sometimes if I got excited about us. Like I, like trying to be like. Bill Hicks or whatever, when I was like 14 and that's like, that's not me.

• 35:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, can you get me some video of you 14? Doing your best Bill Hicks?

• 36:05Mae Martin?

  Well, I used to smoke cigarettes onstage because you could still do that.

• 36:09Tig Notaro?

  When you were 14?

• 36:10Mae Martin?

  Yes, and I did one time get booed offstage because.

• 36:13Tig Notaro?

  And do you have footage of this?

• 36:15Mae Martin?

  No.

• 36:16Tig Notaro?

  Because I'm gonna need to see it.

• 36:17Fortune Feimster?

  You got booed offstage because they didn't like you smoking?

• 36:20Mae Martin?

  It was a New Year's Eve show. I was 16 and me and my boyfriend at the time did like two-person stand-up. He, he was much older. We said we were siblings. It was weird. But anyway, we were smoking and we were just very like misanthropic and negative. And we didn't realize that people had paid for this $100 for this New Year's Eve gala. And everyone was making a real effort and we'd barely prepared anything and we were smoking. We thought we were so cool. And everyone was like, why is this child smoking? And what, and, and so they started going, nah, enough. And they were right. They were. They were like, enough. Enough for this, yeah.

• 36:57Tig Notaro?

  First of all, why aren't children smoking?

• 36:59Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 37:00Tig Notaro?

  As a child, I don't know how, like, we were watching a movie the other night with Max and Finn. And there was chewing tobacco that some of the kids in the movie were chewing. And Max and Finn are like, what is chewing tobacco? They're nine and I was chewing tobacco. I was dipping. I was smoking. If I couldn't get my hands on any of that stuff, I would roll coffee grounds and typing paper. I was just like, how on earth? I'm truly looking at them like they are aliens. You don't know what chewing tobacco is?

• 37:39Mae Martin?

  But these younger generations are much more pure than we were, I think. It's not in, it's not in movies as much. Like, what were you watching? The Sandlot Kids or something?

• 37:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we were watching The Sandlot. Yeah.

• 37:50Mae Martin?

  Oh, I want to re-watch it.

• 37:52Fortune Feimster?

  I used to watch The Sandlot back in the day.

• 37:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but they're, they're just like, and they have, they have questions about cigarettes. And I'm like, I, yeah, I guess I don't know where they would have ever run off and experimented with anything like that. But because my parents were certainly not keeping an eye on.

• 38:13Fortune Feimster?

  But cigarettes are way more taboo now than back then. Back then, I felt like people just smoked all the time.

• 38:19Tig Notaro?

  It was taboo for me to be eight smoking cigarettes.

• 38:23Fortune Feimster?

  Well, eight.

• 38:25Fortune Feimster?

  That's wild.

• 38:27Mae Martin?

  My parents smoked in the house and yeah, it was very, it was, I mean, it was every restaurant you go to and yeah.

• 38:35Fortune Feimster?

  But I did not miss those days.

• 38:37Mae Martin?

  Did you always have the same style on stage or in the beginning where you're like, hey, everybody, what's up? I'm Tig. I gotta, I gotta march in that.

• 38:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I, I feel like, I mean, I was so influenced by Paula Poundstone. I always, I love Paula Poundstone's ability to write just such a solid, silly joke and then also be able to do the most tremendous crowd interaction.

• 39:13Fortune Feimster?

  All the crowd work is unbelievable.

• 39:15Tig Notaro?

  I mean, unreal. And I mean, I used to, she was the one comedian I would always go see. I would never miss a Paula Poundstone concert, no matter where I lived, no matter how old I was.

• 39:26Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 39:26Tig Notaro?

  Um, oh yeah, absolutely. And she's just ridiculous. But, um, that was my goal was to be a good storyteller, joke writer, and be able to interact with the audience. And I don't know that I ever felt like, oh, I'm just a carbon copy of Paula Poundstone. You know, I was never in like suspenders and a bow tie or anything like that, which thank God she's still wearing to this day. She has not, she is Paula Poundstone through and through.

• 40:01Mae Martin?

  She was born in suspenders.

• 40:03Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. This person is Paula Poundstone. I mean, her name says what she, I don't, I

• 40:11Tig Notaro?

  You know what I mean?

• 40:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you gotta be a comedian, yeah.

• 40:14Tig Notaro?

  You are Paula, this is Paula Poundstone. Anyway, you know, I certainly had moments, like I was very, in like more recent comedy influence, I certainly loved Mitch Hedberg.

• 40:30Mae Martin?

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:31Tig Notaro?

  I mean, you know, even though I wasn't.

• 40:33Mae Martin?

  Dry and, yeah.

• 40:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it just spoke to me. It definitely spoke to me.

• 40:37Mae Martin?

  It takes confidence, I think, to sit, to be okay with silence, to be slow like that. And so I feel like it would take, yeah, I'm still not there where I can do that. But like, did it take you a while to settle and to know you had the skill to like, sit in that and then pull people out of it?

• 40:58Tig Notaro?

  Well, I think for myself, like as a comedian, all the different things I've tried, from joke writing to storytelling, I've done prop stuff, not like in a traditional way of like I roll out of, you know, a case of.

• 41:12Mae Martin?

  Tarantula.

• 41:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but I want to try everything. And then I feel like all of those roads that you go down, you still, even if it's such a leap from another type of comedy, you still find your voice in there. And I think that that's what I realized was every road I went down, here's my voice. Here's my voice. So I can do whatever I want to do.

• 41:36Mae Martin?

  You know what I liked? I just, I keep talking about it because I'm obsessed, but the Pee Wee Herman documentary, the Paul Rubens documentary, I didn't realize that Pee Wee started as a character who was a stand-up comedian who was doing it for the first time and showing and had props that were his toys. He was kind of like, almost like a child stand, so he was in the Pee Wee suit and he'd go out and do bad stand-up and pull out like, you know, a dinosaur toy and show the audience and stuff. But I love that, that that was the genesis, yeah.

• 42:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:07Fortune Feimster?

  I think he started at The Groundlings.

• 42:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you gotta watch that doc.

• 42:12Tig Notaro?

  I'll have to check it out. I for sure want to see that.

• 42:15Mae Martin?

  And by the way, when I was in Nantucket, multiple people were coming up to me to talk about your doc.

• 42:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, really?

• 42:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're coming up going, hey, I just saw Tig's doc and I wept throughout and I was like, great. Yeah, people are talking about it.

• 42:31Fortune Feimster?

  You find that they, oh, the new doc, I was thinking of Tig. I was thinking of your own documentary.

• 42:36Tig Notaro?

  Andrea Gibson documentary.

• 42:38Fortune Feimster?

  I want to see it.

• 42:39Tig Notaro?

  You will. We're gonna have a screening in LA and then Apple bought it. So we're all very excited that it's gonna reach a wider audience, but it's, man, is it life affirming? And it really, I say to everyone, you, it's impossible to not walk out of that theater and think, what have I been doing with my life?

• 43:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 43:03Tig Notaro?

  I mean, true, but like in the most inspiring, exciting way. Of course, you have all these emotions about Andrea and their partner Meg and, and all these intense, deep, but also so, so many funny moments, but it's just so beautiful and it's just still killing it on the festival circuit. It's crazy. It's crazy, crazy, crazy.

• 43:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I, well, I'm really looking forward to, to seeing it.

• 43:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. Thanks for bringing that up because I, I, tell your friends if you've seen it because it's, it's really worth seeing and so much like, so perfectly time for a big heaping pile of compassion in this world.

• 43:49Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 43:50Tig Notaro?

  Is what I've seen happen through this film.

• 43:54Mae Martin?

  I kind of feel like, because it is mainly teenagers and kids that are trying on different personalities like that. And I kind of feel like that's, that's a pretty healthy way to be because we're, we're not our personalities. Like that is, even if it's so authentic to you and not on purpose, it is sort of a performance or it's an accumulation of influences and experiences. And there is like a, a core, anyway, I just think maybe we should all be a bit more fluid about our personalities. You could wake up tomorrow, brand new day, you go, I'm really sarcastic today or like I'm, I'm gonna be a ray of sunshine and.

• 44:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, you don't really know how you feel about something or if you're into something unless you try it. So I'm always like. Like, I always think, especially younger people, like, why not sign up for this thing, or join this club, or play that sport, or be in that play? Like, give it a shot.

• 44:50Tig Notaro?

  And I stand by, there is nothing better than finding out what you cannot stand and who you are not, even more so than who you are. You know, like, I love finding out the stuff I, I never want to do again, or I don't want to be in that world, you know? Or whatever, whatever it is. I'm like, I love that as much as I love finding things that I, that make me happy.

• 45:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we tell ourselves, so young, we start telling ourselves stories about ourselves, like, I'm bad at math, or like, I'm, you know, I'm funny, or I'm, you know, and, and then, that's like a little coffin for yourself, you know? You gotta break out of it.

• 45:33Tig Notaro?

  I do stand by, I am bad at math, and, you know, my brain just oozes out of my ears as soon as I look at X plus Y times, bleh, bleh, bleh, blah, blah.

• 45:47Mae Martin?

  You just get a handle on math in school, and then they introduce letters and words to it, and it's like,

• 45:53Tig Notaro?

  It's not fair.

• 45:53Mae Martin?

  Why? Or, yeah.

• 45:56Fortune Feimster?

  And now, now my mom is being totally herself, but she has also been single for a very long time.

• 46:03Mae Martin?

  That's, there's something to be said for the single life in terms of really being yourself.

• 46:08Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 46:09Tig Notaro?

  Has your mother ever gotten on apps to date?

• 46:12Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, she did it back in the day. I think, um, when she met her first boyfriend after divorce, it wasn't in an app, but they, you used to put ads in the newspaper.

• 46:24Mae Martin?

  That's the dream.

• 46:32Fortune Feimster?

  You're just looking at each other's grammar. Um, but yeah, she, I believe they met that way.

• 46:38Mae Martin?

  Didn't there used to be a thing where you can, you leave a, a voicemail that's like, hi, I'm, I'm May, I like, you know?

• 46:46Fortune Feimster?

  I think maybe back in the day, there was something like that.

• 46:49Tig Notaro?

  And wait a minute. Right. So people would put an ad in the paper, and you don't have a clue what this person looks like.

• 46:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 46:56Tig Notaro?

  You just show up. And there is someone that likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

• 47:03Fortune Feimster?

  And yeah, I, when I first came out, um, Craigslist was super popular, especially, I don't know if it was just in LA, but everybody was on Craigslist at the time. And I, I found like a soccer team and a softball league. I found Ultimate Frisbee. I, I'm still friends with some of the people I met during these Craigslist days. But I, I went on a couple of dates via Craigslist ads and no, it was the no picture days.

• 47:35Mae Martin?

  And was it, was it shocking when you arrived?

• 47:39Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, not one person was, it, it, it wasn't even about looks, but not one person was my type or had anything in common. I went on three dates.

• 47:50Tig Notaro?

  What a shot in the dark.

• 47:52Fortune Feimster?

  Could not get out of all of them fast enough.

• 47:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:56Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and then I was like, I'm not doing this again.

• 48:00Tig Notaro?

  Do you know what? I think I'm remembering this story correctly, but of course, who knows? Um, but let's just assume I am. You know, the comedian and writer Jessie Klein?

• 48:10Mae Martin?

  No, actually.

• 48:11Tig Notaro?

  Okay. She's so funny, but she, she, um, I ran into her. I can't remember where I ran into her, but this was several years ago. She saw a guy in like an airport or a grocery store or something, probably, you know what? Probably an airport. I think they were running to their flights. And she thought to herself, what if he saw me and felt the same? Cause she thought she saw a little, some look in each other's eye type thing. He put an ad in the paper and they reconnected.

• 48:47Mae Martin?

  No.

• 48:48Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 48:48Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes, yes. This is an actual story. And, um, they weren't a match ultimately. I think he was like a tennis player. I can't believe I remember the details. I was so blown away because they did not talk.

• 49:05Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 49:06Tig Notaro?

  They just glanced.

• 49:08Fortune Feimster?

  You know, the actor Coleman Domingo?

• 49:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:11Fortune Feimster?

  Um, he's been with his husband now, I think like 14 years. They walked past each other on a street and like kind of both clocked each other and did, I don't know. Maybe it was Craigslist. I don't, one of those sites, they put a missed connection. In there and somehow they saw it each.

• 49:31Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 49:32Fortune Feimster?

  Got together.

• 49:33Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 49:33Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 49:34Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't it like a needle on a haystack?

• 49:37Tig Notaro?

  That's like crazy.

• 49:39Mae Martin?

  We gotta bring that back, Miss Miss Connections.

• 49:42Tig Notaro?

  Boy, have we gotten off track here.

• 49:45Fortune Feimster?

  There's no, there's nowhere for Miss, I don't know where people go for Miss Connections now. There's no place.

• 49:50Mae Martin?

  Have to be a website or something. Yeah, yeah.

• 49:52Fortune Feimster?

  But that was a big thing on Craigslist too, was the whole Miss Connections page.

• 49:56Tig Notaro?

  Let's start a handsome Miss Connection website. There we are. We found it.

• 50:01Fortune Feimster?

  Oh no, another thing on the list that I don't know if we're gonna get to it.

• 50:06Tig Notaro?

  Well, should we hear what Allison has to say, even though we went so far away?

• 50:11Fortune Feimster?

  That's, that's what we do here.

• 50:12Tig Notaro?

  That is what we do here. That's, that is the business we are in. Allison, tell us, tell us.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've honestly probably done that a bunch, but a time that comes to mind is, uh, when I was in college, I did a semester abroad in Glasgow, Scotland. So I went to a really small school, Cal Arts, it was super incestuous and gossipy. And when I did this semester abroad at an even smaller school, the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, I made a conscious decision to just have a, a more free personality, I guess. I, I just didn't wanna be self-conscious

• 51:02Speaker 04

  in any way. And I figured, you know, I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna be going to school with these people for like three to four months. Who cares? Like, what if I got to lose? I should just be like the freest version of myself. And, um, so I did. I just would like, the whole time I was in Glasgow, Scotland, I was having honestly the best time and, and almost being like my truest self, literally would, you know, with headphones in, I would dance down the streets, just dancing down the sidewalks. And in class, I was always like the first person to, uh,

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Oh my God, Maxie wants to be involved in this question as well. The first person to volunteer to try something like improvised capoeira, just like, put me in, coach, like game for anything. And the students there were like, are you like this all the time? And I was like, no, not really.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Once I did it.

• 52:13Tig Notaro?

  This semester.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  I would say the effect it had was that I realized that that actually is kind of my truest self and my truest personality. And so I just tried to kind of retain a lot of that in my life, uh, moving forward. And I think, I think that I have. It's a good way to be anyway.

• 52:37Tig Notaro?

  That's great.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  All right, love you, bye.

• 52:40Tig Notaro?

  Love you, mean it.

• 52:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and you come across people, uh, in your life too, that help bring that out of you as well. That's always nice.

• 52:47Tig Notaro?

  It is weird when somebody brings out a side of you that.

• 52:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:52Tig Notaro?

  You rarely to never see.

• 52:55Mae Martin?

  The goofiest side, the better. Like, I, I went to a dinner party with my friend, Matt, and I guess we'd been very respectable at the dinner party, talking to people we'd never met, you know, getting to know people. And then we left and as we were walking to the Uber, he, he goes, time to be weird. And I was like, yes, that's what I want in a friend.

• 53:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's a great answer though from her, yeah.

• 53:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it is. It's nice to feel free like that, where you're like, just not really editing yourself and.

• 53:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 53:27Mae Martin?

  I love, put me in, coach.

• 53:29Fortune Feimster?

  Put me in. I think about try, I think about my days of attempting to be straight. That was a fun.

• 53:36Tig Notaro?

  I can't accept that. I can't accept that. Hey guys, what are you doing?

• 53:42Fortune Feimster?

  That's what takes the bathroom voice.

• 53:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we bump into each other in the bathroom. Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm on a date. Oh my God, I love your flannel. Where'd you get that, girl?

• 53:53Speaker 00

  I love your lip taint.

• 53:54Tig Notaro?

  You got it, Forever 21. Sweet.

• 53:59Fortune Feimster?

  This is why I did not go on many dates with guys.

• 54:05Fortune Feimster?

  My best acting work to date.

• 54:07Tig Notaro?

  I know, I was gonna say, that's so perfect for Allison, just like acts like a whole different person.

• 54:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and then, and then find out what parts of that you wanna retain. Yeah, I like that.

• 54:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 54:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, I was just gonna talk about what's next, what we're, what we're up to. Um, I'm guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel, the, his late night talk show next week. Uh, July 20, let's see, 22nd through 24th. I'll be a, a late night talk show host for three nights.

• 54:39Tig Notaro?

  That is so exciting.

• 54:41Mae Martin?

  Can you slip in a Keep It Handsome?

• 54:43Fortune Feimster?

  I know, I gotta, I gotta, um, so I hope our handsome listeners will tune in. Um, I'm a little nervous, but very excited. I'll be wearing some suits and interviewing some fun people.

• 54:57Tig Notaro?

  Are you gonna bring back your pink suit?

• 54:59Fortune Feimster?

  Not the pink suit, gonna do something different, but, um.

• 55:03Tig Notaro?

  All right.

• 55:03Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm pumped. This is a, it's a really cool opportunity.

• 55:06Tig Notaro?

  Absolutely.

• 55:07Mae Martin?

  Amazing.

• 55:08Tig Notaro?

  Can't wait to see.

• 55:09Fortune Feimster?

  And then I just have a stand-up, uh, July 20th, uh, in Edmonton with Mateo Lane. Montreal, July 26th, uh, and then starting in September, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, DC, Atlanta, New Orleans, all those good places.

• 55:28Tig Notaro?

  Excellent places.

• 55:30Mae Martin?

  I'll see you in Montreal.

• 55:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, May, May and I are doing a, a gala together in, uh, Montreal, which I love Montreal. Oh, my God, it's such a great city.

• 55:40Tig Notaro?

  It's so great. It's so great.

• 55:42Mae Martin?

  Also the night before, on the 25th, doing a show at the Olympia for Just for Laughs. But other than that, uh, just check out, I got two new songs out on my muse, my earnest music album, I'm a TV. I got two new, uh, sad songs that I added to it, so they're on Spotify and Spread the Word, Tell Your Pals. What about you, Tig?

• 56:02Tig Notaro?

  Well, I'd love to share with you, August 17th, I'll be at the West Hampton Beach Performing Arts Center in West Hampton Beach, New York. August 23rd, I'll be in P-Town at the Province Town, Town Hall. And then September 27th, Beau Rivage Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi.

• 56:23Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, oh, and please, share your favorite episode. Also, review and um. Subscribe. Subscribe to the podcast and also to our YouTube page. This is a great community and we feel very lucky for all of you. And so let's keep growing it, shall we? Thank you. Great, until next time. Keep it handsome.

• 56:50Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 57:05Tig Notaro?

  What a podcast.

• 57:11Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 57:15Speaker 06

  And Hannah Simone.

• 57:16Speaker 05

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing, every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it, like, we get up in there, we get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea, we react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 57:38Speaker 06

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 57:51Speaker 05

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 58:02Speaker 06

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.