878. Q&AF: Is It Too Late For My Purpose, Feeling Aimless & Siblings Holding You Back

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on what to do if you think it’s too late to follow your life’s purpose, how to handle feeling lost, and what to do if you feel your siblings are draining your energy and stopping you from reaching your goals.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisell and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions in modern society and welcome to darn reality. Yeah, as always, I am joined by my co-host.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Groundy points right there.

• 0:33Andy Frisella?

  Sexual chocolate. What's going on over there?

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Oh, you know, another day on the internet.

• 0:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, alright, we got Q and A F today as always, starting out the week with some good information to help you guys win. If you're unfamiliar with the show, okay, this is where you could submit questions and we'll give you the answers, alright? You could submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is-

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Guys, email these questions in to [email protected].

• 1:00Andy Frisella?

  Or you can go in the YouTube and ask in the comments section, or if you want to call in, you just click underneath the Q and A F episodes, click that link and maybe we'll have you on the show and get to talk to you. So however you want to do it, we can do it. But yeah, so that's Q and A F. Now, we have shows within the show. Tomorrow, we're gonna have C T I, that stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we talk about society, culture, what's going on in the world, we speculate on what's true, on what's not true, and then we talk about how we the people need to solve these problems that these tyrants create for us, alright? It's more of a comedy show to be honest, but it's fun, so check it out. There's also Real Talk.

• 1:45Andy Frisella?

  Real Talk is five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. I've got a consistent schedule of Real Talks coming up for you guys, so those are gonna get back thrown in. And then we have 75 Hard Versus, and that's where someone who has completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show, they talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard Program to take control of their life, alright? If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program, and the entire Live Hard Program is free. You can find that at episode 208 on the audio feed. It's not on YouTube. We weren't, we're new to YouTube still comparatively. So, uh, episode 208.

• 2:27Andy Frisella?

  If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. It is free. But there's also a book and there's a book on andyforcella.com called the book on mental toughness. It outlines the entire live hard program plus a bunch of extra chapters on, uh, what mental toughness is, why it's important and how to cultivate it to build your life. All right. And the last thing is we have a fee. The fee is, you know, send us money like every other fee. But if you don't want to send us money, you could just share the show. All right. So, uh, you could either send us a bunch of money or you could just

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  share the show. Yeah. All right. So, uh, it's a show makes you think, it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. You learn something that helps you.

• 3:15Andy Frisella?

  Do us a favor and don't be a hoe. Show the show. All right. Help us not be EBT members here. Yes. You could also, you could also look for these amazing first form energy drinks, which are available and will be available nearly everywhere, uh, very soon.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  I wonder what people's, uh, like favorite flavor is.

• 3:36Andy Frisella?

  Well, they're gonna, you know, I can't say, I can't say, I want to say, but I can't say, but they're going to be excited real soon. Real soon.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:47Andy Frisella?

  Within like

• 3:49Speaker 01

  I feel like

• 3:49Andy Frisella?

  a few weeks.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Like there's a lot of excitement coming soon. You know, you've been, uh, you have been in the, in the laboratory.

• 3:59Andy Frisella?

  I've been keeping a secret.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. You have a secret.

• 4:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I've been keeping a secret. It's, uh, you know, I'm a little embarrassed, but it's time to, you know, come out of the closet.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 4:08Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 4:10Andy Frisella?

  There's a reason, an actual reason I haven't been posting on Instagram for the last number of years and you're going to find out really soon.

• 4:18Andy Frisella?

  I may have been writing, I don't know, 25 books and I may be releasing them very soon, uh, in five book sets. So.

• 4:33Andy Frisella?

  I'm excited about it. I'm finally getting to the end.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  You've been grinding.

• 4:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we're finally getting to the end. Uh, we also have the new MFCEO project launching literally within weeks. Um, so it's very exciting.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:47Andy Frisella?

  Very, very exciting.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  There's a lot going on, man.

• 4:50Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you know, it's hard to, uh, do it all, you know, and sometimes things gotta, you gotta let it go and.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Like an orchestra.

• 4:58Andy Frisella?

  Sorta, yeah.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  You got the trombones going and the violins and.

• 5:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that, that's definitely what my life is like. There's no doubt about that. Um, but you know, it is what it is. And, uh, I go home every day and, you know, I come here every day and I'm very thankful to be around. Really dude, the honest truth is the older I get, the more thankful I am to be around the people that I am every day. Like I get to come in here, I'm around a bunch of fucking savages who kick ass and wanna win and are good people who treat people right. And it just, you know, when I talk about America and why it's important to me, it's because I think every place should be like this is. You know what I mean?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  It could be like.

• 5:39Andy Frisella?

  I think it could be too. And, uh, I don't know. At, at the very least, I feel very fortunate to live in that environment.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:47Andy Frisella?

  You know, and, uh, yeah, it's, it's awesome. And we have a lot of good things coming up. Um, you know, the projects that we've been working on here are, I believe, the most important projects that I've ever worked on. Uh, that you guys haven't seen yet. And I, I believe, you know, they're as big as 75 hard or maybe even bigger. So very, very excited. Um,

• 6:13Andy Frisella?

  yeah, and that's it, man. Like it's, it's awesome.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  It's gonna be freaking sick.

• 6:18Andy Frisella?

  It's gonna be freaking awesome.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  What the flip dude, it's gonna be.

• 6:22Andy Frisella?

  Gosh darn it. It's gonna be gersh dang awesome.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right. Yeah, man. All right. Well, sweet. It is Monday, ladies and gentlemen. Let's make some people better today.

• 6:33Andy Frisella?

  Let's do it.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  We got, uh, we got some good ones for you.

• 6:35Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  This first question, let's get to it. This first question. Andy, I'm, I'm thirty six, married, two kids, mortgage, steady job. From the outside, life looks normal, even good. But sometimes in the quiet moments, I ask myself, is this really it? I'm not miserable, but I'm not fulfilled either. It's like I built a life around expectations instead of passion. Is it too late to rediscover purpose? Or does this feeling mean I never truly had it to begin with?

• 7:14Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  That's deep.

• 7:15Andy Frisella?

  No, it is, dude, but you have to, I'll be real, man. You gotta be like older than that to really understand that question. Because I think this happens, all of my friends that are my age, Joe and I have talked about this before. You know, you get to a point in life where you start to really audit what you've done and where you've come from and what you've built. And even when it's amazing, even when you're happy, you look at it and you say, man, what could I have done? Or how could this have went? Or am I doing enough? And those are natural feelings, you know? We've all heard of the midlife crisis.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Is that what this is right here?

• 7:51Andy Frisella?

  It's, it's, it's sort of that.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:53Andy Frisella?

  Um, I think it's just a natural time where we're going through into a different season of life. And, you know, uh, we're no longer in the, in the spring of life. Now we're sort of in the midsummer, you know what I'm saying? And, uh,

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Winter's coming.

• 8:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah, the fall is coming, man. And, uh, you know, we start to really audit what we've created out of ourselves. And if you're an ambitious person, especially, uh, that can be incredibly difficult. Because what you know now is not what you knew when you were twenty. Not when you, it's not what you knew when you were thirty. So your mind kind of plays tricks on you, man. You, you, you know, all this new shit that you didn't know when you were younger. And you're at a certain age and so you kind of like think, well, I could do all this and this and this. But dude, you really couldn't have done that because you didn't know that shit then. It only came through the experience. So we end up getting in this really, this kind of like mindfuck space.

• 8:53Andy Frisella?

  And everybody I know that is around that age, you know, I would say 30, after 35 to 45 has gone through this and sometimes it lasts a couple of years. Uh, I went through it, real talk. I mean, dude, and I've, I've, I've really built what most people would consider like the ultimate dream life. If, you know, they're an ambitious person, a business person. Um, I realize not everybody wants the same thing, but you know, I've created what most people consider the American dream from an entrepreneur standpoint. And even with all that, dude, I have, I've had to go through times where I was like, is this really my life? Like, is this all it is? Is I'm going to wake up every day, I'm going to go here and I'm going to do this. And that's what it's going to be.

• 9:38Andy Frisella?

  And I'll tell you what, man. You sort of hit on it in your question. You said, purpose, is it too late for a different purpose? And I don't know that you have to think of it as a, first of all, it's not too late for a different purpose. It's not, all right? You were still very young. But for me, it wasn't about finding a different purpose. It was about expanding my purpose. Okay. And growing a bigger purpose, a bigger mission, a bigger project to work on. And we get in these times where we're sort of stale. And we think, you know, like he's saying, oh, we did really good. Is this what it is?

• 10:23Andy Frisella?

  Well, the reason that you're feeling the way you feel, man, is because you're no longer building. You're no longer creating, you're no longer becoming the way that you should be, or the way that you did in the past. And you could have all the prizes, you could have a nice bank account, you could have a, a great house and a great family and a great life. But the minute you stop building, you start to feel depressed. You start to question it, you start to lose interest in life because it becomes repetitive, monotonous and not very much fun. And a lot of people, that's a pivot point in their life, right? Some people, they, they go down the road of heavy drugs, heavy alcohol, destroying their life because they think it's not what they wanted.

• 11:07Andy Frisella?

  And other people, they say, okay, I did good so far, but let me do better. Let me do bigger. Let me use the tools and the knowledge and the resources that I have now to create something even bigger. And when they create that bigger mission and that bigger purpose, the juice comes back, dude. It's like, yeah, dude, it's like you plugged your finger in the electrical socket of the, the mystery force. Don't try that at home. Yeah, don't do that.

• 11:34Andy Frisella?

  Sorry. But, you know, and it's just, uh, it's just rejuvenates you. And I think we have to remember that we are always fighting against a cultural norm. And the cultural norm is celebrating the weekend, celebrating the vacation. You're not normal if you work all the time. Well, motherfucker, some people ain't wired like that. And, and to be real, like if I lived like those people live, I would kill myself. That is the honest to God's truth. And I'm not, I'm not paraphrasing, I'm not exaggerating. I would literally commit suicide because I would be so depressed and so sad and so unfulfilled. And then society makes you think you're weird for being wired as a builder. Anything outside of that.

• 12:18Andy Frisella?

  Right. And I just made a post about this today. Uh, we're recording this on Friday.

• 12:24Andy Frisella?

  You know, you can't explain this, this, this fire, this intensity, this drive that you have to build, create and become to someone who didn't get that gift. They're never going to understand it. They're never going to make sense of it. And they are typically heavily bought in to the regular culture. And the regular culture at the bottom level is do the least amount of shit that you can do. All right. Watch as much TV as you can watch, relax as much as you can. And dude, that's just not a fulfilling life for someone who got the gift. Okay. I got the gift. This person here, they got the gift. And if you have the gift, you should embrace that and you should say, hey, I'm not like those people. And the truth is they're never going to understand.

• 13:08Andy Frisella?

  So fuck what they think and do what's going to make you feel fulfilled and happy and energized. For me and for most ambitious people and not most, every single one that I've ever met in my life, they have to constantly be building and we constantly see this and examples of this in life. How many athletes get done playing sports and are super depressed? Okay. How many people sell their businesses and are completely miserable? We, you know, like it's, it's not like, and, and the, and the regular person will say, well, see all the money doesn't make you happy. It, they're actually right. It's not the money, bro. It's the process of creating. It's the, it's the artistic process of building and becoming and doing things

• 13:51Andy Frisella?

  that are hard and that gives us respect and gives us fulfillment in ourselves. It's the rea, it's one of the biggest reasons why 75 hard is so transformative. It teaches people that the value that you have in yourself is directly linked to how hard you work. Okay. So that, the, the, that's the long answer. The short answer, I could talk about this forever. The short answer is this, no, it's not too late. No, it's not too late to change your entire purpose if you want, but don't think that you have to change your entire purpose. You know, you don't have to burn your house down. You don't have to burn your life down. You could just expand it. You could say, hey, okay, I'm gonna take this to the next level. I'm gonna do this and you have to, to do that, you have to remove the guide rails of your own thought process to think bigger than you thought.

• 14:35Andy Frisella?

  And, you know, and realize that the, the dream that you're living now was the dream of your younger self and you are no longer that younger self. Now you have new skills and you're able to think bigger and accomplish more. And then there's something to that too. When you know you have more skills and you know you can accomplish more, but you're still living in the same dream that the 20 year old of you created. It's not gonna be fulfilling, bro. And so, you know, all of these things play into this mental game that we get caught up into. And if we don't understand how to break out of it, the feeling that he's feeling is very natural. Uh, so come up with a bigger purpose, bro. That's the answer.

• 15:16Andy Frisella?

  Get a bigger mission, get a bigger purpose, dream, take a weekend and dream as big as you fucking can, and then go do that. And you're gonna, all that magic and all that feeling and all those things, that's gonna come back.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  That's such a, a, a, a weird thing to get sucked into, man. And like, there's more to the younger guys, because we got a lot of young, young, ambitious people that are like, you know, going out there.

• 15:38Andy Frisella?

  Thirty-six is young, bro.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Thirty-six is young, but I mean, I'm talking like the young, young bucks, like the twenties, the nineteenth, right? And it's like, you know, we go all of our life and we, we, we feel like there's this like, you know, path that we're supposed to be on, right? You're supposed to go to school, you're supposed to go to a nine to five, have a good career, make the family, be get the house. And it's like, it's like hindsight, bro, like it's such small minded thinking. You know what I'm saying? And like, I'm, I remember that one of the first lessons you, you really told me, bro, you gotta think bigger. Yeah. Whatever your goals are, scratch them and make bigger ones, man.

• 16:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Uh, cause like, that's the only way to get out of that.

• 16:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  It's the only way to get out of it. I love that, man. Um, we got a caller. Let's do a caller.

• 16:19Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Let's, uh, we got, let's go to Cameron. Uh, let's give Cameron a ring.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Hey, this is Cameron.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Cameron, what's up, dude?

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Hey DJ, hey Andy.

• 16:34Andy Frisella?

  Cam, what's up, bro? How are you?

• 16:35Speaker 02

  For picking me.

• 16:37Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man, of course.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Doing well. Thank you. Thank you so much for picking me and everything you guys do for us.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  What you doing right now?

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Just in the office. I'm in San Diego.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Oh, sweet. All right. All right, a little San Diego action. That's what's up, man. All right, well, what we got?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  My question is, how do you leverage dark energy from mistakes you've made yourself? I've heard you share leveraging it from others. But curious if you do and, and how you do, um, turn that negative into a positive. Really appreciate it.

• 17:12Andy Frisella?

  Can you give me an example of what you're talking about?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Being, having to get the last word in. Um, and damaging relationships.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Or, um, and, uh, just becoming too.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Becoming to things, to those types of shortcomings personally that can negatively impact relationships or.

• 17:40Andy Frisella?

  Let me ask you this. Let me, let me ask you this, brother. If you and I were best friends, okay, and we're friends, right? You listen to me, we're friends.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:50Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:51Andy Frisella?

  If I said to you, hey, Cam, bro.

• 17:55Andy Frisella?

  I'm really struggling with, with this, man. You know, I'm, I'm kinda, I got a big mouth. I got a kind of a bad temper. I, I have to always get the last word in and, you know, it's, it's ruined some friendships, a few relationships. And I can't get over it, man. Like, fuck. And I can't stop thinking about it. What would you say to me?

• 18:19Andy Frisella?

  As a friend?

• 18:23Speaker 02

  That you really need to work on yourself so that you're not, um. And build confidence and self-esteem so that you're not, you don't feel the need to do that. Um, and, and you're more compassionate in those situations and don't even think about having to get the last word in and. Instead just handle it with grace.

• 18:45Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, dude, I can't stop thinking about it, man. I feel super guilty. It's where, it's eating me alive on the inside, man, like.

• 18:55Andy Frisella?

  I just can't get over it.

• 19:02Andy Frisella?

  What would you say?

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Just stop.

• 19:13Andy Frisella?

  Stop what?

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Stop having, stop getting the last word in.

• 19:18Andy Frisella?

  Okay, here's what I'm getting at, brother. You need to talk to yourself like you're your own friend, okay? Every single person in the history of the world has done shit that you're talking about right now that you feel bad about. And you gotta forgive yourself, bro. You gotta say, hey, I made those mistakes. I'm conscious of those mistakes now. I'm aware of how they affect my life and I'm going to work on it, but I can't dwell on it, man. And if you were my friend, Cam, which you are, you support the show. I'm gonna say this to you, man. Give yourself a little grace. You're learning, you're growing. That's the point of life. And it's not about harnessing the dark side energy

• 20:02Andy Frisella?

  that we have in situations like this. It's about giving ourselves grace and saying, fuck, I'm a human being, bro. And if, if you were, if DJ was telling me the same shit that you're telling me, I'd say, hey dude, what would I say?

• 20:18Speaker 01

  So one, stop being a pussy, get it together, and just go fucking do it. That was you fucking years ago.

• 20:24Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and what, what would I say if you were saying, if you, if you were dwelling on it, would I not say what I just told him? I'd say, hey, bro, it's all good. It's all good. We all go through this. And you need to talk to yourself like that, man. You know, when you're an ambitious, a young man especially,

• 20:40Andy Frisella?

  we could talk to ourselves really, really harshly. And, and dude, I'm guilty of that, right? I, high standards demand a harsh internal dialogue. And sometimes that becomes counterproductive because it destroys ourselves from the inside when we make mistakes. But we always have to remember, man, there's only been one person ever that's lived in the history of the world that was perfect. And his name was Jesus. So it wasn't Cam, and it wasn't Andy, and it wasn't DJ. Okay, so we have to remember, man, to give ourselves grace, to be aware of our shortcomings, and then to work on those things. And the next thing, the next time they come up, we're gonna make a better decision. And we might not get it all the way right,

• 21:23Andy Frisella?

  but the next time it comes up again, we'll get it a little more right, and then a little more, and then a little more, and then eventually, you're not even that same person anymore. I can tell you this, dude, this is real shit. When I was, when I was coming up in business, like, and I was desperate. I was the harshest, most savage motherfucker on the face of the planet to everybody around me. I did not take shit from anybody, and I still don't, but I did not tolerate any fucking excuses. To the point where I was mean sometimes, okay? I, I, I was excessive.

• 22:04Andy Frisella?

  And it's hard to argue that because it got us where we are, but I have guilt about it. Okay? Lost a lot of friends during that time. Yes, absolutely, bro. And so I've had to, I've had to develop the understanding that like, hey, man, I was doing what I knew best at that time. And then I've adjusted my behavior, so much so that most of the people that work for us now have no perception that I used to be that way. No clue. Yeah, like, they don't understand that there's a literal fucking animal one inch underneath the skin, you know what I'm saying? So it's, but dude, I've had to work on that. And, and, and the first thing that allowed me to work on that was becoming aware of it. And you're already to that point, brother.

• 22:48Andy Frisella?

  The next thing I had to do was, was give myself some grace and say, okay, you did what you, what you knew to do at the time. And the third thing I did was I had to start working on changing the behavior. And when I started to move out of that phase, I still had those situations happen, but they happened less and less frequently. And then eventually they got to the point where they rarely happen. Uh, and, and you know, it's not who I am anymore. It's just not who I am. So, uh, it's there, I can use it when I want to. It's kind of like what Peterson says, what Jordan Peterson said. You gotta be a fucking savage monster and then learn how to control it. But, yeah, man, it's part of life, brother. And I'm going to tell you this right now, I can hear it in your voice that you're struggling

• 23:32Andy Frisella?

  with this and you feel guilty about it. And I'm just going to tell you, dude, that's life, man. And give yourself some grace, work on the behavior. And after time passes, you won't even be that person anymore, bro.

• 23:49Andy Frisella?

  Does that make sense?

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Thank you. Yeah, it definitely does.

• 23:52Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. How old are you? How old are you?

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Thirty, thirty-four.

• 23:57Andy Frisella?

  Ah, fuck dude. You're, you got plenty of time to learn. Trust me, at thirty-four, I was ripping motherfuckers throats out. So, uh, so you're good, dude. Just, you know, give yourself a little grace, acknowledge the behavior, work on the behavior, and, uh, and it, it'll be a memory before you know it. All right, brother?

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Thank you so much for this and all you guys do.

• 24:20Andy Frisella?

  Thanks, Cam. Appreciate you, bro.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. All right.

• 24:23Andy Frisella?

  See ya.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Thanks, Andy. Thanks, DJ.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  See you, bro.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  I think that's a, I think, I want to ask you this, right? Because I, I feel like, you know, we all heard that saying, like, you know, you, you are your biggest critic. Should you be?

• 24:39Speaker 01

  Should you be your biggest critic?

• 24:40Andy Frisella?

  Of course. Of course you should. Bro, no one's gonna hold you to the standard that you should hold yourself to. You should always be holding yourself to a high, this is what high performers do, my, high performers hold themselves to a higher standard than the external standards that they have to live in. Okay, so this is, this is a big deal to understand this. Kobe Bryant worked harder than what he was demanded of by the Lakers. Okay, uh, every successful person, Tom Brady worked harder than what he was demanded of by the Patriots. So your standards, if you want to be a high-level performer, have to be higher than any of the external standards that you live in.

• 25:20Andy Frisella?

  That's just the, the math of doing it, um, which can be very difficult, right? And, and, and when you work in a high-standard environment, and then you gotta have higher standards than that, sometimes we get pretty harsh on ourselves to where we forget, like, there's still gonna be mistakes sometimes. You know what I'm saying? So, um...

• 25:41Speaker 01

  But you gotta, so you're saying you gotta have really short, almost short memory with those, when those downfalls come?

• 25:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  And get right back to it.

• 25:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:48Andy Frisella?

  That's it, man.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. I love it, man. I love it. Well, guys, let's get to our next question. Uh, my next question is, uh, Andy, thank you so much for all you guys do. Huge fan. Um, I make sure to share the show, uh, so I ain't a hoe.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  To tell the truth, I feel like a desperate bitch for emailing in today, but I need some help. I'm 23 years old and I've been in sales for the past five years or so while I was in college and after graduation. I'm constantly improving my professional skills and I've done alright in my sales career. It seems like I can never get ahead of bills and being financially successful sounds very far in the future. I know I'm young, but I feel aimless. I've always wanted to start my own business and grind at something I'm actually passionate about.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  At anytime I think of going off of my own, always run into the same problem. Where the hell do I start? What the hell can I start a business off of? I know this is the problem I must solve on my own, but I'm curious as to how you decided on your business idea? And how you knew that that is the solution that you're going to pursue? Anything helps, thanks guys.

• 26:58Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I'll give you the exact truth. I wanted to be rich as fuck, okay? This is reality, alright? We were gonna open, I had a guy that I knew. I had two entrepreneurs that I had seen in real life and actually met, alright? One of them was making a ton of money in a tanning business, okay? The other one was making what I thought was a ton of money in retail supplement stores. So, the guy who had the tanning business was making way more money. And so I wanted to start a tanning salon. Alright, I swear to God, this is how it happened, okay?

• 27:41Andy Frisella?

  I couldn't afford, Chris and I were saying, fuck it, we're gonna start a business. We're gonna open a tanning salon. Couldn't afford a tanning bed because we only had 12 grand, alright? So then we said, well, can we start selling supplements? And we could. So what we did was, we took, nobody would rent to us because we didn't have any credit. We found a guy, his name was Mark Tharp in Springfield, Missouri, who rented to us, but with the agreement that we will pay a year upfront rent. And rent was a thousand bucks a month. And that was all the money we had. So then we went and we got resourceful. We went to campus and back then they used to have these little tables

• 28:24Andy Frisella?

  that you could fill out an application and get a credit card. And they were like 500 bucks. So we went to campus and we filled out every motherfucking credit card we would get. And then we use those to build out the store, which we went to Home Depot and literally bought the material to build the store out. We, we built it with plywood and roofing tin and uh, if you go to the Springfield S2 on the, on the uh, north side, 1709 South Campbell, you'll see the counter that we built. Still there. Yes. Yeah. We built it right. We built it with my buddy Mark Pottis and um, and we painted the store. I mean dude, like when I say we started at nothing, like I don't think people understand that what that means. Like we, we fucking financed the motherfucking build out on a credit card.

• 29:09Andy Frisella?

  And then our first order of supplements was $10,000. Okay. And I, I promise you, that's very little inventory. So that's how we started. Um, we didn't start, yes, we worked out. Yes, we took supplements, but we were not knowledgeable about supplements. And we were kind of casual about working out. We were just, we were just athletes. We wanted to make money and this really kind of, that, the mentality was a very, uh, not knowing it at the time, but it really cost us a lot of time because our goal was to make money. All right? So the first

• 29:52Andy Frisella?

  day we sold $7 to a buddy of mine. His name was Nick Vespa. The next day we didn't sell any. The day after that we sold $23. Took us six months or eight months to have a day over 200 bucks. I think it was eight months. And then it took us five and a half years to open our second store. So first three years, we didn't make any money. Uh, and we lived in the back of the store on and off. And the next seven years, we made $695 a month for a grand total of $58,380 for the entire first 10 years that we were in business, not per year. Could have made more money working at McDonald's. Um.

• 30:31Andy Frisella?

  And the reason that things changed was because over that course of time, we had situations where people would come in and they would lose a lot of weight, or they would get themselves together and it would change their lives. And it was awesome. Okay. But we were too young and too motivated by money to really understand

• 30:58Andy Frisella?

  that that's how we should be operating the business. We just didn't get it. And what I mean by that is our intent was on ourselves and it was not on the customer. And the minute that we figured that out, and there's a whole long story about how we figured that out.

• 31:15Andy Frisella?

  Things changed. Everything changed. Okay. Our, our intent went, how do we deliver the best results for these people? How do we make sure that we can replicate the, the result on our end, which is to get them where they want to go as much as possible? And when we flipped that switch over, we grew a hundred percent for five years in a row. And this is post 2008 economy, which was one of the worst ever. And it was a simple mindset, mindset flip of putting the intent on what we're trying to deliver, not on how much money we're going to make. And when you, when you do that, then the money comes. And this is a problem I see in a lot of people. Um, a lot of people are able to make a little bit of money running a business, but it never really takes off.

• 31:59Andy Frisella?

  Because the intent is on how much can I take from other people instead of how much can I give? How much value can I bring? And they hear these buzzwords on the internet of people saying, oh, deliver value, you get paid, or you get paid in terms of the value you provide. And they're like, oh, those fuck, they think it's buzzword bullshit. It's not. It's real shit. And, um, so that's how we started. Okay. We, we just thought we could make money. And so we went and we did make money, but it took us a long time how to make money, which was to put the intent on the result that the customer was after. Which I know, I know for a fact, we do that better than anybody now. We do it better than anybody. There's no, there's not another company that does what we do that cares more about their fucking customers. Say whatever the fuck you want. It's just not true. That's the truth.

• 32:44Andy Frisella?

  And I can say that very confidently. And I don't think there's another company on the planet that's changed more lives than ours. And I say that very confidently. When you throw in the transformations that we do, 75 hard and how we take care of people. It's just facts. No one could fucking, no one could even, I don't even think it's even close. That's the truth. Um, and I don't say that to brag. I say that because I'm proud of it. And You flipped that intent and stuck with it. Correct. And it's, it's created a very successful existence for myself, the people around me. Um, it's created tons of better, higher quality people in the world who are

• 33:26Andy Frisella?

  happier and healthier and setting a better example. And, uh, it's allowed me to create income and careers for thousands of people all off of that one intent switch. So if I were a young person and I didn't know what I was going to do, I would ask myself, what do I care about? What do I care about serving other? How, how can I serve other people in a way that makes me proud of what I just did? I would answer that question first. Then I would answer a second question, which is, what do I know how to do? Okay? And if you don't know how to do what you thought of first, then you can learn it. That's,

• 34:08Andy Frisella?

  that's okay. But if they align, it's really good. All right. And then the third thing that has to happen is can I make money doing this? Can I do this at scale? What are my dreams and how can I get there? Because there are things that we care about and we do well, that can't scale. All right. Most things can scale because there's niche markets that you can do very well in. But depending on how far you want to go, like if you want to make 200 grand a year, that's a different conversation because you have more flexibility to do the thing that you love because that's a lower income. If you want to make 20 million a year or 30 million a year, motherfucker has to be able to scale. Okay. So there's

• 34:51Andy Frisella?

  nuance in this formula. It's, it's what do I love? How can I serve? What value could I provide? Well, do I have the skills to do it? And can it scale? And you need to find the right mix of those things that's going to get you where you want to go. Does that make sense?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  100%, 100%. I, I think, don't they call it like, uh, I've heard it go like passion projects? Things like that.

• 35:17Andy Frisella?

  I mean, dude, people call shit all kinds of different things. I mean, passion projects, in my understanding, are more just like people do things because they love to do them, not because they want to make money.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  At all, right.

• 35:28Andy Frisella?

  Right, they don't care. Um, that would be like what we do for Haiti, or what we do for North St. Louis and things like that. You know what I'm saying? Um, but, yeah, bro. I mean, if you want to turn, not every passion can be turned into a hundred million dollar business, or even a, a 10 million dollar business. But if your goals aren't that big, which is okay, like, bro, I gotta say this too. You don't have to be a fucking hundred million dollar company. Okay, you need to figure out what the fuck, how you want to live your life, and then design it around that. All right, so not everybody has to go out and try to build Nike, right?

• 36:08Andy Frisella?

  Uh, that's just what I want to do. And I want to do more than that. I don't even, I got bigger goals than that, believe it or not. You just don't know about them yet.

• 36:17Andy Frisella?

  So, yeah, man, that's, it's an equation, it's a thought out plan.

• 36:24Andy Frisella?

  Uh, you know, and the more money you want to make and the bigger your life is, the less flexible you can be with what you care about. And it, and it has to line up with where you want to go. But you still have to care about it enough to, to love serving it. Does that make sense?

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Absolutely, bro.

• 36:41Andy Frisella?

  So, it's, it's, it's just a thought process, okay? What do I love? What are my skills? What do I want to make? And then it's turning the dials to figure out what's going to work.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  What do you, what do you also say too? Because I, I, I feel like this is also another young buck problem where like, because the internet can be so inundated with people, oh, I made, you know, three million dollars in fucking two hours, you know, right?

• 37:04Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all, remember, they're full of shit.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Right. 100%, right? But it's like, you know.

• 37:09Andy Frisella?

  People, people don't know, people don't understand wealth scale. Okay? Someone who doesn't know who's 20 years old or 30 years old and they've never had anything nice in their life. They see someone with a fucking Lamborghini and they think, oh my God, they're so rich. No, dude, that's not true. Okay? You can, you can do all kinds of things. You can rent those, you can. Bro, there's private jet sets that influencers go and take fake private photos, private jet photo. You cannot believe any of this shit. This is why I tell you guys. You have to look at what they've actually done. You can't look at what they present online. It's not. 90% of the time, it's not true. And really dude, I'm sort of an anomaly.

• 37:53Andy Frisella?

  And the fact that like, I'm one of the dudes who's actually built a bunch of real shit that shows their life. Most of these motherfuckers who built real shit don't show their life. Because they think that if they do, it's going to demoralize their employees or their customers. When in reality dude, it would inspire them. And that was something that I had to learn as well.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 38:12Andy Frisella?

  But the truth of the matter is dude, like you, you, these fuckers are so full of shit. None of them have really done anything. They're good at marketing a fake lifestyle. And because you don't know what real wealth looks like. You think it's, you think it's real. And you know, people that are on the other end of that mountain. Like I can look at that or someone's like, and be like, fuck out of here, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like it's, it's, it's. We have a lot of dudes taking advantage of people and it, and it makes people. It makes people demoralized because they think they're doing it wrong.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Well, I think my point too was getting to that. It's like. You know, you're at 23, bro, you couldn't like, are you even able, would you even be able to manage? Millions of dollars in your bank account right then? You know what I'm saying? Like, what's the wealth timeline? Like, are there not skills and shit that you should have?

• 39:05Andy Frisella?

  There's 23 year olds that have made billions of dollars. So we gotta be careful about. You know, that. But to answer your question. If you don't have experience managing money, no, you're not going to know how to manage it. This is why we see all the athletes lose all their money. This is why we see, you know, the lottery winners lose all their money because. They don't know anything about money, right? They don't know how to make it work for them. They don't know where to invest it. They don't know how to run a business. You know, they think it's just gonna be there forever because they don't have the perspective, you know? And you can't blame them because no one ever taught them, you know? Um, but no, I mean, managing money is a fucking skill in itself. And it's gonna take, for most people, it takes making money,

• 39:50Andy Frisella?

  losing money, making money, losing money. And then finally you make it again. You're like, fuck, I'm not losing.

• 39:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I mean, dude, look, that's the reality. So, um, yeah, no, it's a real thing, you know? You, the process of building will teach you responsibility, right? Because you'll manage cash flow and profitability. And, you know, you'll start to realize what you can't afford, what you can't afford.

• 40:16Andy Frisella?

  But getting it overnight is, you wouldn't even want that, bro. And I'm gonna tell you this too, because

• 40:22Andy Frisella?

  the, the, the hungry days, the lean days, the hard days, the days of pain and struggle and hopelessness and frustration.

• 40:36Andy Frisella?

  When you look back

• 40:39Andy Frisella?

  on those days, those are the days you're gonna value the most. Because those are the days that taught you everything you actually need. The grit, the endurance, the mental toughness, all the skills, how to be resourceful. And if you take someone and allow them to skip that process, and then that person who had to learn all the shit the hard way has to compete with that person at some point in time, the person who had to struggle is gonna kick the fuck out of the person that got it quick. That's the reality. Because like, bro, I don't care who I go up against. I could go up against CEOs of the biggest companies in the world. I'm gonna fucking beat their ass because I fucking started with nothing.

• 41:22Andy Frisella?

  And I know all the skills all the way up to the top. No one ever invested. No one ever gave us a big check. I didn't graduate from fucking Brown and get a role of CEO. My skill set is much more in depth than any of those people could possibly have. It doesn't matter how many hours they spent in a boardroom or a classroom. It's a different skill set. So. I actually have way more respect and admiration for the people who literally started at nothing. I think they're the best entrepreneurs in the world because dude, how do you fucking create something out of nothing? That's hard. Okay? So if you're running a business that you created from nothing, even if it's doing, you know,

• 42:07Andy Frisella?

  not doing as good as you want it to, just remember you're learning skills that these, these big time dudes are never gonna have. You know what I'm saying? And eventually you're gonna compete against people who were, who had investors or got placed in these, and dude, you're gonna beat them because you know more. So.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  That's real. We got one more question. Let's, uh, let's get one more call in here. Final, uh, final question for the day. Let's get, uh, Mandel on the line. Here we go.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Hello, uh, it's Mandel.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  This is Mandel?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Yo, what's up? Yeah, this is DJ. How'd you guys?

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Man.

• 42:57Andy Frisella?

  Mandel, what's up, bro?

• 43:00Speaker 03

  What's going on, Andy? How you doing, man?

• 43:02Andy Frisella?

  I'm doing good. How are you?

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Man, I'm doing great. Um, yeah, nah, man, this is no doubt one of the best days of my life. I mean.

• 43:11Andy Frisella?

  Well, we're gonna make it better, bro. Where are you calling in from?

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, uh, um, Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Probably a weird one.

• 43:18Andy Frisella?

  Sioux Falls. Alright, that's beautiful country. Yeah, it is.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  It's nice up here though. It's a, it's a good state, so.

• 43:25Andy Frisella?

  Alright, alright, brother. Well, hey, what can we help you with today, man?

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, um, so I wanna be as objective about this as possible without, uh, putting emotions into it. Um, but my question is, is it a moral and ethical thing to cut your siblings out of your life? When you believe they are the reasons for holding you back? They come with good intentions, but do not believe in the path of being what Tim Grover calls a cleaner in life. Um, for, you know, me, you, I'm sure DJ and the rest of the RLF team that have read the book, uh, Relentless by Tim Grover, so.

• 44:06Andy Frisella?

  All right, man. Well, that's a real question, dude, and a lot of people struggle with this a lot. I mean, this is one of the most asked questions that I've gotten in my 15 years of doing personal development work.

• 44:20Andy Frisella?

  It depends, okay? It just depends. Here's the reality of it, man, and I'm gonna speak objectively as well. You only have so much energy, dude, okay? You only have so much energy. And to compete, if you're ambitious, it's going to take all of it. If you are spending 40% of your time arguing with anyone, okay? Whether it be a friend, somebody you don't know that well, your mom, your dad, your siblings, your ability to succeed is going to be less because you are going to be competing against someone who has more available energy to create. That's the truth.

• 45:03Andy Frisella?

  Now, you, as an individual, this is the part I can't answer, you have to decide how much energy you want to free up while maintaining relationships that you have.

• 45:16Andy Frisella?

  So, my recommendation for you would be to audit how important it is to get where you want to go and then make a decision about where the boundary needs to be for you to have the most available energy to move forward. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to cut them all the way out. It can mean you just have to sort of keep them at arm's length, all right? It could also mean you just have to learn how to have selective hearing. You know, when I was building my company, dude,

• 45:51Andy Frisella?

  this is just the truth, I would show up at places where I had friends and family and I'd get made fun of, dude, and I would get joked about, you know, and I'd have people that would say, hey, that's cool as well, so I don't want to make it sound like it was all bad. But I definitely had people in my family tell me, like, that little saying that I say all the time, like, or do you still own that little vitamin shop? That came from people I'm related to, so.

• 46:17Andy Frisella?

  You know, I just had to decide and, and you know what I did? I stopped, I sort of stopped showing up. I kept it at length. I kept it real far away and I was able to do what I wanted to do and, and I don't have regrets about that. Because now when I look at my life, I see all these people around me who are young and hungry and supporting their families and building their communities and doing all of these good things. And that's, I feel good about that. So for me, that was worth it. But for you, it may not be worth it. So you have to decide what it is that you want. Uh, but I can tell you this, if your goal is to be a cleaner, you're probably going to have to create some very, very strong boundaries and learn selective hearing. Okay?

• 47:03Andy Frisella?

  And when you do hear what they say, you're going to have to have a chip on your shoulder and say, hey, fuck that. I'm going to shove it down these motherfuckers throats. And all of those things I've developed. That's the truth. The worst thing that someone could say to me if they want me to lose is to tell me that I can't do something. Because I will fucking burn my own life down to win. And people say that's not healthy. Well, it's probably not, but it's the truth.

• 47:32Andy Frisella?

  So, yeah, I mean, just be real. So like, that's the decision, man. It's, it's auditing what, how important it is to you and

• 47:42Andy Frisella?

  you know, how you want to handle it. And there's always nuance and there's dials that you can turn to get where you need to go. But the bigger the goal, the less, the less energy you're going to have available for people that aren't going to push you forward. And when it comes to friends and when it comes to the people you surround yourself with, it's not enough just to have them be neutral. You have to find people that are going to push with you and fight with you and build with you. And, uh, so you have to take those drags or anchors, as I call them, and replace them with propellers so that you can go fast enough to compete. So.

• 48:21Andy Frisella?

  Does that, first of all, does that make sense?

• 48:25Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 48:25Andy Frisella?

  Okay.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  No, literally, that was straight facts. Like, it's just nice to hear from somebody for the first time in my life that gets what the show is, real AF. And yeah, you know, it's something where, like, I'm truly trying to do something incredible with my life. I know people laugh at me when I say it. I know they're like, "Oh, you're trying to do something like Steve Jobs?" No, I am. I really am. And I say it with humility. And you get laughed at, you know, and it's like, you get to a point, like you said, it's like you love them and you're proud of your siblings. They're your blood siblings, you know? You grew up with them, but you realize that they are anchors. And it's like, you know, just from these short couple of months of closing these relationships with them, because I have,

• 49:09Speaker 03

  I've achieved like literally a year of progress because of the focus that I've been able to put on all this energy towards my goals. So, it just sucks. It's a sucky situation because like you said, you know, it's easy to do with friends because they're friends, you know? But you talk about your blood siblings, you know, Sal for you, Andy, your brother, you know, you grew up with these guys, you know, you love them, you know? But you realize that they just, they call you high at TV and all this, and it's just not the right energy. Like you said, you need people there that are going to fight with you, not just be neutral with you when you're having these conversations.

• 49:45Andy Frisella?

  Bro, it's just the way it is, man. Like, you know, I wish it was different. I wish you could have relationships with everybody and, you know, even if they didn't want you, you could still be cool. And dude, if they were mature, they would just keep their fucking mouth shut. Yeah. And if they were really mature, they'd support the fuck out of you. But the problem is, human nature is just the way it is. And people that come from the same household, or the same neighborhood, or the same school that you came from, when you're trying to create greatness, you are a constant reminder of what they could have done. And that doesn't feel good to them. So, you know, I always tell young entrepreneurs, one of the greatest things that you can

• 50:30Andy Frisella?

  Do to be successful and maintain your family relationships is to move the fuck to a new city and do it there. Because then the distance sort of creates the buffer and you're able to do your shit without the distraction. I don't know if that's an option for for you, but that's a way to do it. Um, but here's the good news, brother. All that same shit happened to me, all of it. Uh, when I, when I first started writing, uh, because that's kind of where, you know, my personal development career started. I was writing literal posts on Facebook. I would have people in my family fucking comment, what do you think you're Tony Robbins? And, you know, like, that's the shit they would say.

• 51:12Andy Frisella?

  And it's like, here I am, you know, so, uh, and Tony's the goat. I'm just gonna say that. I don't say I'm better than him, but you know, like, I'm doing my own thing. And, uh, so, yeah, dude, and, and, and eventually those people that doubted you and they grow the fuck up. And they come back around, dude. And so it's not ever a goodbye. It's, it's more like a, I'll see you in a few years. You know what I mean? And

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 51:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So, so dude, you know, I would start with a conversation, a real conversation, like, like with them. Like I'd sit them the fuck down and I'd say, hey, man, look, here's the deal. I love you. I respect you. You're my fucking blood.

• 51:54Andy Frisella?

  If you were my real blood, you would support me in this. And if you can't support me, at least be quiet. And if you can't be quiet, I can't associate with you because I'm doing this no matter what the fuck you have to say about it. And sort of set that boundary and then let them decide what they want to do. And then you, you, you react appropriately. Um, but this is, go ahead.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  I want to ask this while you, while you got, uh, Mandela, while you're on the phone too, because I, I feel like there's, there is a flip side of this. I just want to get your takes on it.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  Is it, is it almost coming from like a selfish thing like, why don't you believe in me? Like if there's nothing there yet though?

• 52:35Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah, that's also a good point.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying?

• 52:37Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, sometimes we, look, I don't think that's what he's saying. I think what he's saying is they're discouraging.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 52:44Andy Frisella?

  But there is another side to that, to that talk, which is people who are just starting demand support and when they don't get, you know, the out of this world support, they say, oh, everybody fucking, nobody believes in me. Well, motherfucker, you didn't give them anything to believe in. What the fuck have you done? You said you're gonna lose weight 700 times. You didn't lose weight. You said you were gonna do this. It didn't work. You said you were gonna do that. It didn't work. People have a right to not believe you if you have displayed that you are not worthy of belief. Like that's reality. So, so you know, that is a trap that people fall into. We have to accept reality. Nobody's going to believe until you've done it. Okay? And if they can support you, great.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 53:29Andy Frisella?

  If they can't, they should be quiet and at the very least not be a drag. But, but we gotta be, you know, I don't think that's what he's saying, but that's a good point to bring up because there is, I see that a lot.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  Well, because we accept it from family.

• 53:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but bro, like they're, they're people too.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:46Andy Frisella?

  Like if they've seen you like say, oh, I'm gonna lose weight 700 times and you say it the next time, why the fuck would they believe you? You know, so you can't, they're, they're people. They're not going to, just because they have the same blood and they love you, you might get a little extra grace, but I mean, eventually you're showing them that you're not going to follow through and they're not going to believe in you. Uh, so that's when you have to make them believers through the results that you produce. Nobody owes us shit. Okay? We have to understand that. Nobody owes us fucking anything. Okay? They don't owe us help. They don't owe us belief. They don't owe us support.

• 54:26Andy Frisella?

  And the reason that most of these people don't support us is because we've never shown them anything to support or believe in. Once you show them and you build something and they look at it and they say, oh, he's actually doing it.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  I've always believed in you, man, Dale.

• 54:40Andy Frisella?

  The belief starts to come. You see what I'm saying? So, yeah, man. Uh, but brother, you know, look dude, how old are you?

• 54:52Speaker 03

  Uh, 25.

• 54:53Andy Frisella?

  All right. You, you gotta fucking take care of your own life, bro. That's the reality. And this is a hard transition for young men and, and young people in general when they're 25 because you're on the path of your own life. You've gone through this shit.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:08Andy Frisella?

  You're on the, yeah, you're on the path of your own life now. And your whole, the rest, the, the life that you've known up until this point has been with your brothers and your sisters and your family. But now you're out on your own, man. And there's this weird transition that happens where we have to like, realize, hey, nobody's coming to fucking make this for me. So, and I think you're there and I think you're thinking about it the right way, bro. And, and it sounds like you have super high ambition and drive and you want to do big things. And just realize to do those big things, right or wrong, no matter what anybody thinks of it, you're gonna have to dedicate most of your energy to it. There's gonna be people that don't approve. There's gonna be people that say that's wrong. There're gonna be people that guilt you for it. Uh, but I would tell you this.

• 55:53Andy Frisella?

  All of that shit is not worth not getting where you want to go. It's just the truth.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 55:58Andy Frisella?

  So, that would, that's what I would do, bro. Just audit it out, build it out, think about it and, uh, you know, have that conversation. And you're gonna be good, bro. I promise you, everybody goes through this shit.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. No, um, yeah, no, it's to the point where like you said, during 25, you know, going into that, you know, transitionary phase, um, you know, I want to win so bad that like it's coming at all costs now, like to where like, it's, I'm having this question with you guys today.

• 56:32Andy Frisella?

  Bro, let me tell.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  But no, I, go ahead. Sorry about that.

• 56:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, let me, let me tell you something, dude.

• 56:39Andy Frisella?

  It fucking takes everything. Anybody who tells you it doesn't take everything is fucking lying. They've never done it or they had some sort of benef, they had some sort of benefit that you don't have, like somebody to give money or an investment or a loan or they had, anybody who's come from.

• 56:58Andy Frisella?

  Fucking base level and built anything relevant. I, this is just reality. I don't really give a fuck what anybody has to say about it because none of them have done it. I've done it.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 57:08Andy Frisella?

  It takes fucking everything, fucking everything. And here's the problem that you're going to have later in life because I'm just going to tell you I'm 20 years older than you. You're going to build the habit of giving everything for so long that you find it really hard later to give it your energy to anything else. So it's a, it's a dip, it's a different life. It's just a different fucking life. Um, that most people will never understand. So get comfortable with that. Get used to it. Understand it's going to come with its unique challenges. Uh, but from someone who has been in your shoes, I wouldn't trade it. Period.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  So.

• 57:49Andy Frisella?

  No doubt. All right, brother.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Nah, man, I mean, I don't want to take any more of you guys' time. I mean, this is literally.

• 57:55Andy Frisella?

  We're here for you, bro.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Best days of my life.

• 57:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  No, I, I like seriously, the wisdom I just got is going to propel me. I can't wait to see what 20 years from now my life's going to look like. Um, I just want to thank you guys, uh, the real, real AF team on first form and all of everybody in the entire teams that, you know, put out the stuff you guys do. You guys are literally doing God's work. Like, I mean, you guys are actually speaking God's word into the world. Like, it's, it's amazing. I've been listening for five years and I just can't thank you guys enough. It, this show truly means a lot to me, so.

• 58:30Andy Frisella?

  Well, listen, brother. I, I, we appreciate that. And if you really want to repay us, go out and do what the fuck you're supposed to do. All right? And, uh, remember, you have an obligation to do this, bro. Because your fam, you could see it in your family. Your family doesn't believe it's possible. Think of the perspective switch that it's going to create in them for you to go out and do this. It's going to change their entire lives, even if they're resistant to it now. So your story matters. It's important that you go do this and it's not just about you, even though it feels like it is right now. All right, bro? So keep that in mind whenever it gets hard.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. No, no. Last thing I want to say is, uh, you know, my mom, uh, she's eight months sober because she was so she's been so inspired at how hard I work every single day.

• 59:18Andy Frisella?

  There you go.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  And my goals and

• 59:19Andy Frisella?

  Already started.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Everything. And it's just, you know, yeah, it's little things like that that you, you just, you, you had to be grateful for.

• 59:25Andy Frisella?

  Bro.

• 59:25Speaker 03

  But, um, yeah, no, I, I don't, I don't want to take any more of you guys' time seriously. I know. You know, you guys got the episode laid out and everything. I already appreciate this call like just so much, man. So.

• 59:37Andy Frisella?

  You are the episode.

• 59:41Andy Frisella?

  Hey, don't be afraid to call us back in, man. Uh, I will, I will check in from time to time. I want to hear what's going on.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. Yeah, no, definitely. Uh, definitely got some, you know, other questions, uh, uh, for the future. Uh, but yeah, I'll definitely, um, keep sharing the show. You know, don't be a hoe, all y'all out there. Uh, and, uh, yeah, you know, I'm just gonna keep following like I've always done. Uh, you guys have always impacted my life in tremendous ways already. So.

• 1:00:08Andy Frisella?

  All right, brother. Well, listen, go do it. Go make it happen and, uh, we'll see you at the fucking top.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Yes, sir. I can't wait.

• 1:00:16Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  See you, brother.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  All right. We'll see you, DJ and Andy. Bye.

• 1:00:21Andy Frisella?

  Fucking awesome.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Dude, that's sick.

• 1:00:23Andy Frisella?

  It's fucking awesome. That's such a hard thing to deal with.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  It is, man.

• 1:00:26Andy Frisella?

  But fuck dude, I can hear it in his voice, bro.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  This dude is hard.

• 1:00:29Andy Frisella?

  He fucking gets it.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  He gets it.

• 1:00:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  And it's, it's real. It's right around that time. It's like, all right, well, I mean.

• 1:00:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  DJ gotta go.

• 1:00:37Andy Frisella?

  It is what it is, man. Like, yeah, it is what it is, dude. And, and it's hard because you fucking care about people, but.

• 1:00:45Andy Frisella?

  You know, you got, when you start where, you know, when you start weighing out, okay, well, what if I don't become what it is I want to become? What if I don't do this? How am I gonna feel about it? It's, it's really not worth anything else. And I know people are gonna say, well, that's selfish. Well, sometimes you gotta be selfish to be selfless. That's the truth.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  You have to be.

• 1:01:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  You have to.

• 1:01:04Andy Frisella?

  So, um, man, I really love that question, that call. And I can just hear in his voice that he's fucking all about it. That's refreshing, dude. That shit gives me hope. I really like these call-ins, man. Like, this is way cooler for us than just reading someone's question. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:01:22Andy Frisella?

  It's cool. So.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  No doubt about it. Well, guys, Andy, that was four.

• 1:01:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Start the show if you want some more.

• 1:01:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:34Andy Frisella?

  Share the Dern Show. Yeah, share the Dern Show. Alright.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Went from sleeping on the floor, Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a boat, fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch, booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, just a no. Headshot, case closed.