Episode 681: True Crime Round-Up - You're Not Chris Hansen

The boys are back with a good old-fashioned True Crime Roundup, starting with a Chris Hansen cosplayer whose predator sting ends in a stabbing at a Tim Hortons THEN a waiter stops an attempted murder - on camera, a former news anchor pleads guilty to killing her mother in bloody cheese grater attack, and just when you thought he was out... cattle mutilations get Henry back on the alien beat.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  On October 30th, Dexter Morgan is back. In this season, he's facing the scariest threat yet. Middle age. A lifetime of blending in gets to you. And now Dexter is up against two rival killers stealing the spotlight. Taking them down means changing his MO and things are gonna get messy. Starring Michael C. Hall, Uma Thurman, Dan Stevens, and Brian Cox. Dexter: Resurrection. New season, October 30th on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:08Speaker 02

  There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast.

• 1:12Speaker 03

  On the left.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  That's when the cannibalism started.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Cock, cock, cock, and cock, and fuck, cock, and fuck. And we can't start like this, Marcus.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Why would you do that? Why would you start today's episode?

• 1:47Speaker 04

  Why would I ever stoop to the level of dirty words?

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Cock, fuck, fuck, shit, stuff like that, Marcus.

• 1:54Speaker 05

  Everybody knows it's cock and suck.

• 1:56Marcus Parks?

  Cock and suck.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Cock and suck and fucking suck.

• 1:59Marcus Parks?

  That's better.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 2:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a little bit better.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  I'm just copying Marcus, my hearing. The only way he only knows it, that's how he opens shows, that's how he opens it. I remember that being an intrinsic part of the vows to your wife.

• 2:11Marcus Parks?

  It really was, yeah. That whole 10-minute cock and fuck and suck and cock and fuck and suck, yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Cock and fuck and suck.

• 2:18Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  I remember when you said all that.

• 2:21Marcus Parks?

  We rehearsed for weeks.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  And then Carolina did all the splacking.

• 2:25Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, damn, yeah.

• 2:27Speaker 05

  Mrs. Hidalgo, I mean, mom.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  That was a great wedding.

• 2:33Marcus Parks?

  Welcome to Last Podcast. On the left, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the splacker himself, Henry Zebrowski.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  I splack all the way from the front to the back.

• 2:43Marcus Parks?

  That's right. And we have the family man, Ed Larson.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  That's right, I'm a family man. I don't have kids and I have dogs and I put hats on them and I call them children. Honestly, it's better. It's better. You know why? Because if one of them dies, no one's gonna come looking. Nobody cares.

• 3:05Marcus Parks?

  That's true, that's true. Just keep them off of social media.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  You could voluntarily kill it. I don't think you can.

• 3:10Marcus Parks?

  What do you mean?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, if it's dying. I think there are some rules.

• 3:15Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, you can't just take a dog into the vet and say, hey, I'm tired of this thing. Get rid of it.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You all feel like it's a couple of home-based euthanizers, like those guys that you could pay to come home. There's a couple of them, I bet, kinda like what you do with your grandpa.

• 3:27Marcus Parks?

  Oh, like Kevorkian, dog Kevorkian.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty certain that you could probably slip him extra 100 and he'll fucking whack the dog for you.

• 3:35Marcus Parks?

  Sir, my dog is depressed.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  And he's just like, I can tell. Let me get my gun.

• 3:42Marcus Parks?

  And today, we're doing a little old-fashioned true crime roundup.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Woo, yeah.

• 3:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Bing. Cause we really wanted to get back into the true crime spirit of things. We're gonna get back into heavy hitters this month.

• 3:56Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we're gonna get back to a serial, we're gonna get to a serial killer next month. We're gonna cover a Canadian again. It's been a long time since we've covered a Canadian.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  And I'm excited because they are the funniest murderers. Cause I really feel like we've been so heavy. And you know, because in terms of we covered the Meli massacre, we've been talking a lot about the state of the country and the world. And I think it's important to do something light, like a guy that's only murdered and sexually assaulted like 15 children.

• 4:23Marcus Parks?

  11, please.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's something light, something fun.

• 4:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, something fun, you know, people are tired of all of these massacres. Let's do Rape Joker.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  That's fine, finally.

• 4:34Marcus Parks?

  Cause that's, it really does, that takes the tension in the room down.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 05

  You know what the best part of a Canadian serial killer is?

• 4:40Marcus Parks?

  What?

• 4:41Speaker 05

  They apologize.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Every time.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Every time. It's almost like they didn't even mean it in the first place.

• 4:47Marcus Parks?

  Well, we got a few true crime stories to go through because of course, the world is never bereft of true crime. So let's start with our first story. An influencer known for his efforts to catch alleged child predators is facing charges after being stabbed during an altercation with a person he accused of trying to meet with a minor.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  See, that's, that's what's hard is you really gotta set them up. I'm really excited for the new movie. The R. Patz movie.

• 5:11Speaker 05

  Oh, the Chris Hansen movie.

• 5:13Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, that's gonna be incredible.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  My, my friend reached out to me because she had a boyfriend that was featured on To Catch a Predator after they dated years later. She dated him when she was 15 to 17, right? He was 17, she was 15.

• 5:27Speaker 05

  Okay, okay, a little better.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  That was in high school and literally he smelled like cheese, so she broke up with him. And then later on, turns out he was on To Catch Predator. He was just one of those guys, he was super, super, super into it.

• 5:39Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it's funny how those guys sort of just pop up. Like there was a dude in, from college that was in our college radio station. And he got busted with like one of the largest treasure troves of child pornography in the history of Texas.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Why is it always a treasure trope?

• 5:54Marcus Parks?

  And his last name was Cosby.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Can I honestly ask though, why do they always call it a treasure trope? It's not being surrounded by smout. You don't need to go on an epic adventure to get C-Sam, you just gotta get WhatsApp.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, way too much, I think is a better way.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, way too much. Piles and piles and piles.

• 6:11Marcus Parks?

  One is way too much.

• 6:13Speaker 05

  You're right.

• 6:13Marcus Parks?

  Okay, okay. Cause that's, cause you can also.

• 6:15Speaker 05

  An exorbitant amount.

• 6:16Marcus Parks?

  An exorbitant, but even.

• 6:17Speaker 05

  Even one.

• 6:18Marcus Parks?

  Even one, yeah, an unreasonable amount, even one.

• 6:20Speaker 05

  More than one.

• 6:22Marcus Parks?

  More.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  How does this happen? How does this happen? Elicit cachet.

• 6:26Marcus Parks?

  Ooh, I like illicit cachet. A plethora of C-Sam. A plethora of C-Sam, yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  It's a plethora. It's a plethora.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  And I don't wanna go backwards here, but she broke up with him because he smells like cheese?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 05

  That's a bad thing.

• 6:40Marcus Parks?

  Well, that's a dick problem.

• 6:41Speaker 05

  And they weren't, they're not Wisconsin people then?

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's not a dirty fucking Wisconsinite that loves a smelly gross man all covered in fungus.

• 6:50Marcus Parks?

  Well, back to this man who was stabbed trying to impersonate Chris Hansen. Nicholas Atala, who goes by Nicky Sal on social media, was reportedly stabbed while confronting two men at a Tim Hortons in Jamestown, New York in December 2025. Atala of Pennsylvania tries to catch potential child predators by posting his minors online. Notice it says tries to catch. This is his, it's his angle, it's his hook.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Cause honestly, you're not catching the big one every time. Sometimes you get some, you gotta throw back.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  He has a post of even two days ago of this recording saying, sub's only seen it first. I caught a follower. He got one of his own followers.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Of course, of course. You know, and I, unfortunately, I believe of any of the chains, Timmy's is where the pedophiles go.

• 7:39Marcus Parks?

  Hmm, yeah, that, I don't know, I would actually say Denny's.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Fascinating.

• 7:44Marcus Parks?

  You know why?

• 7:45Speaker 01

  High school drama.

• 7:46Marcus Parks?

  High school drama. High school, high school kids hang out at Denny's. And if you catch one out front crying because she got into a fight with her boyfriend after their fifth cup of coffee with, they'd been chain smoking cigarettes for six hours.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:59Marcus Parks?

  That's gonna be a girl you can take advantage of.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Have you been following the?

• 8:02Marcus Parks?

  Tim Hortons is just old men.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it could be, but then a lot of old men can be pedophiles. Have you heard of Wheel of, the Wheel of Fortune announcer guy, Jim Thornton? What he was dealing with, right? We covered on this week's Side Stories.

• 8:13Marcus Parks?

  Oh my God, that was the story. I've been trying to think for fucking all day. I was like, there was a story that I saw last week that I would love to talk about, and it's that one.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Yes, because according to him, you gotta check out the local Golden Corral. It's a regular boy fae. That's what he said, that's a direct quote.

• 8:32Marcus Parks?

  So was that, cause I know that he had claimed that he worked in suicide prevention and that somebody had sent him the link and he cited to open the link on the airplane. And he was only on there for a few minutes. So he's trying to Pete Townsend defense.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  So he told the police officer after the fact, yes, he was researching.

• 8:51Speaker 05

  Exactly what Rob said.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly what Rob said. It's, he was researching. He said he used to spend a lot of time in suicide chat rooms or anti-suicide chat rooms, talking people out of committing suicide because they had a family member that committed suicide. But he spent 57 minutes in this thing called Lifeline chat, which is a chat room disguised as one for general topics. But it's where men go to talk about quote unquote, struggling with feelings of pedophilia. And so the whole idea was that it was a bunch of guys that were supposed to be struggling, quote unquote, struggling with their thoughts about pedophilia. But actually it seemed more like a place where a bunch of pedophiles talked about what kind of boys and girls they like to have sex with.

• 9:32Marcus Parks?

  Well, if you're using the words boy fae, then that does not seem like a struggle. That seems like a celebration.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Exactly. And it seems that Jim Thornton loved it so much that he decided to talk about the boy fae's while wearing his Wheel of Fortune swag jacket.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  What you don't do, if you're Jim Thornton, you wear a Price is Right shirt.

• 9:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw him off the trail just a little bit.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 9:59Speaker 05

  How about press your luck?

• 10:02Speaker 01

  So he is definitely directly quoted, it's in the green.

• 10:05Marcus Parks?

  It's so incredible. So you've got, went to Golden Corral for the first time, for the first time with my dad and his wife yesterday. A nice hangout for kids. A couple of cute boys and hot little girls. All you can eat boy fae. And I do love that these, it shows that these are not, they're truly human. Because the response from one of the other guys, Mr. Z is, I haven't been to Golden Corral in decades.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  And his response is, it's in Burbank, baby. It's in Burbank, right next to where I work, as the announcer, as of Wheel of Fortune.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  I mean, just like, you're, you're, Wheel of Fortune, prime time, it's regular television.

• 10:45Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 10:46Speaker 05

  You got, you, Golden Corral?

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's where he goes to fuck the kids. He's out there to eat.

• 10:51Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 10:52Marcus Parks?

  But you gotta, you gotta think like a predator to catch a predator. Because if you're golden, if you're going somewhere fancy, you're not gonna find any kids in a fancy place. They're not there. You go to the place where the kids are running around with parents who don't care about their child's health, safety, or well-being.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:08Marcus Parks?

  That's Golden Corral, my friend.

• 11:09Speaker 05

  Golden Corral sounds like the place that R. Kelly used to pee on girls.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's just where he used to pee on horses when he was riding them in the park.

• 11:18Marcus Parks?

  Did we actually, did, did somebody, I have this memory of someone telling a story about being a child and drinking directly out of the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Oh, I am pretty, that's one of us.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  I had, no, it's close to that. I had a situation where I was eating the marshmallows directly out of the, um, uh, you know, by the soft serve at Ponderosa.

• 11:39Marcus Parks?

  Uh huh.

• 11:39Speaker 05

  And then they caught me eating the marshmallows and they led me back to my table and kicked me and my entire family out.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Unfucking believable. You're just a fat kid with no supervision.

• 11:48Speaker 05

  My dad was happy we didn't have to pay the bill.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 11:51Speaker 05

  He's like, actually, I, you're kind of, I didn't get in trouble at all.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  That's the most fat thing you've ever done, son. I'm so proud.

• 11:57Marcus Parks?

  Oh yeah, the, the chocolate fountain, it's, all of this screams non, unsupervised.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Well, it's COVID, another COVID loss.

• 12:05Marcus Parks?

  Hmm, the chocolate fountain?

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  They're trying to leave the studio. Dude, you know I want one. Oh, man. I want one, but.

• 12:14Marcus Parks?

  Nah.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  It's come.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  So he didn't.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  You gonna, do you wanna go past that?

• 12:21Speaker 01

  I don't know. I actually don't know.

• 12:23Marcus Parks?

  Did you say, did you say come?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Come fountain.

• 12:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Come fountain. Yep, sure.

• 12:28Marcus Parks?

  So what, we gotta hire a come guy? We have, have a come guy that comes and fills it up? Where's he gonna source it? Where's he sourcing the come from?

• 12:34Speaker 01

  If I was him?

• 12:35Speaker 05

  Burbank, baby.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Burbank, baby. It's a regular boy fae.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  It's an absolutely regular boy fae. You can't even imagine. I love it. Give me a pee. And let's see, we go, who wants to buy a value, was it E?

• 12:51Speaker 05

  So what, what happened with this guy? He got stabbed?

• 12:54Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  And he was trying to, how come this never happened to Chris Hansen? Am I crazy to think it did?

• 12:59Marcus Parks?

  No, it did not happen to Chris Hansen. Well, the difference is that the Chris Hansen, it, he was running a TV production. And, and he had security. Uh, and he knew, and, and that's, he knew how to trap these guys. He knew how to like get, put these guys into uh, a situation where they were kind of dazzled by the lights. Because that's the thing about Americans is that you put cameras, you put lights on us, we're dazzled. Like, it's, you're like.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  It's exciting.

• 13:28Marcus Parks?

  Okay, I'm, I'm on a TV show now. All right. So I'm on, it disarms them. But this guy, he just met a guy at a booth in a fu, in a fucking Tim Hortons, goes, you're a fucking pedophile. You're a fucking pedophile. Come with me. And of course, the guy is a psychopath, so he pulls out a knife and he stabs him.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Now I'm gonna tell you how you do this right. You see, if you wanna catch a pedophile, you gotta do it with a net. That's the first thing you're doing wrong. You gotta put a copy of Boys Life on an open hole with wee leaves underneath it. And then you put a net on top of that, and then the man fall, the pedophile's like, that's what you're doing wrong.

• 14:00Marcus Parks?

  That's what you wanna do, if you wanna catch up at a vibe.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  That's what you wanna do.

• 14:03Speaker 05

  Dude, this Nicky Sal guy, August 26th, help everyone. We're back on the road and we could use some help. And he puts his Cash App in there.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Damn. You gotta be careful, man, with catching predators because sometimes some of them are predators. And also, guess what people really react poorly to? Being called a pedophile.

• 14:21Marcus Parks?

  They really don't like it.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  Cause it makes you angry.

• 14:24Marcus Parks?

  Well, at the Tim Hortons in December, Atala accused one of the men, James Morris, and that's the other thing too, you got two guys showing up. So that, you can't have two guys. James Morris of trying to meet with a 14-year-old girl and allegedly threatened him. As a result, a fight broke out between Atala, Morris, and the other man, leading to Morris allegedly stabbing Atala. Uh, Atala was hospitalized. The physical altercation endangered a one-year-old child who had been at the Tim Hortons with their family. So this guy, in an attempt to save children, ended up actually endangering a toddler.

• 14:56Speaker 05

  Hey.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  I am like, I'm kinda into this, the, the idea of like, there's a lot of pedophile baiting on the internet now that's a big deal. It's kind of been around, oddly enough, it's been around, pedophile baiting.

• 15:08Marcus Parks?

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  And so.

• 15:09Marcus Parks?

  Oh no, it's been around for s- thousand, thousands of millennia.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  It's like being a rapper now. You can, they see other people doing it and being successful, so they're like, I can do that. Yeah, which, it does make sense because, but you have to remember, I'm gonna put this out there to my, to anybody who's a vigilante. It's extremely shaky ground to stand on.

• 15:29Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  It's so hard. That's a part of the reason why the whole Chris Hansen thing fell apart is because he had the two guys commit suicide after the fact. And then I believe he was then sued within an inch of his life.

• 15:40Marcus Parks?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  And the entire production company was sued and everything fell apart. And it's just really hard. Like, that's why it's super important, if you're gonna catch a pedophile, that you dress as a child with a giant lollipop and he has to fuck you. That is the only way, oh my God, I love the shots from the Tim, the action shots from the Tim Hortons are on Facebook. This is just another time. This happens, they happen, they have these physical disputes.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  It's always at Tim Hortons, unfortunately.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Tim Hortons is the Canadian equivalent of Waffle House.

• 16:11Speaker 05

  Well, we got a couple in the north.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they're the worst.

• 16:14Marcus Parks?

  I mean, this was, this was actually, this is New York State. This is Upper New York State.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  That is the, the single most.

• 16:19Marcus Parks?

  Basically Canada.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. If you are, I'm, I'm sorry, guys. We have a lot of listeners upstate New York. If you're visiting the Tims in upstate New York, you're wrong.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  You have to fucking stop going there. You have to shut these Tim Hortons down.

• 16:35Marcus Parks?

  I like Tim Hortons.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  You are disgusting. It is incorrect.

• 16:38Marcus Parks?

  I like the coffee.

• 16:39Speaker 05

  Just chew on the coffee. It's just as good.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  You are completely, that is the one thing I'm fully going to full body fight you on. Tim Hortons is objectively the worst chain. The only one that's worse is in the UK, Costa.

• 16:54Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Costa, and I also, I'm sorry.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  Coffee bean blows.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Yes, I also don't like caribou.

• 17:00Speaker 05

  Seattle's best, caribou all fucking suck.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Pete's also suck.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  How hard is it to make coffee?

• 17:04Speaker 01

  It is hard, actually.

• 17:06Marcus Parks?

  Well, that's what I like about Tim Hortons, cause like, Pete's, I hate Starbucks, I, I hate all of them.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Starbucks is drinkable, but I hate them as a company.

• 17:13Marcus Parks?

  I don't think they're drink, I, I hate Starbucks coffee so much. Tim Hortons coffee, it's got that wateriness to it that you know you're drinking bad coffee.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  That's disgusting.

• 17:21Marcus Parks?

  And I like that bad coffee. Exactly. That's what it is. It's, cause I love, I love Bodega. I grew up on Bodega coffee throughout my twenties and thirties. I drank it every single day, you know, the milk and two sugars, give me fucking, you know, light and sweet. Uh, and Tim Hortons coffee has a hint of that to it.

• 17:39Speaker 05

  See, I can't drink Tim Hortons coffee because it's weaker than the kids that this guy was trying to fuck.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Exactly. Exactly. I can't have coffee for children. I need full grown man's coffee. All right, and the food is horrible.

• 17:53Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Tim Hortons food makes Dunkin' Donuts look like a Michelin star restaurant.

• 17:59Marcus Parks?

  I like their glazed donuts. I like to get it, I like to get a coffee in a glazed donut.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  You're a fucking traitor to this fucking country.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  Last time I went, the cook asked me to pee in a cup for him.

• 18:07Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:08Speaker 05

  And then he drank it.

• 18:11Speaker 05

  Oh man, well, at least you know now, if you're a non-offending pedophile and you wanna meet some people, go to Tim Hortons.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  That is honestly, it is nice. You can go there, you're amongst others, specifically non-practicing pedophiles, get along well.

• 18:25Speaker 05

  Someone's gotta put holes in those donuts.

• 18:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I mean, this guy's just gonna end up in jail. This, uh, this influencer. Like, he's charged with second-degree criminal nuisance, endangering the welfare of a child, and third-degree assault. He was previously charged in January with first-degree assault, third-degree criminal possession of a weapon, and tampering with physical evidence. I don't know what this guy thinks is gonna happen. Like, I, I don't know what his, what his end game is.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  He wants television show.

• 18:51Marcus Parks?

  His legal challenges are piling up so fucking much. Well, he's not smart enough to know that there's not a single fucking TV network that's gonna take a chance on someone who's so violent.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  You're correct. Yeah. He is not smart enough to understand that.

• 19:02Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Chris Hansen sort of understood that, which is the reason why he developed it all into a fucking show, right? He developed, do a gigantic show because of how popular the specials were. Cause you remember, they started as specials. And then they, they got huge, right? Cause everyone was got, were super interested in, cause everybody loves watching pedophiles get busted.

• 19:20Speaker 05

  I, uh, did not watch the show.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  See, I was a big, I love that show. I watched, I watched almost every episode.

• 19:26Speaker 05

  Body cam footage.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, and we were a big Cops House. We watched a lot of Cops. I watched a lot of Catch, I loved all those shows. I love Sting shows.

• 19:34Speaker 05

  Florida. We didn't watch Cops. We just looked out the window.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was great. I mean, Chris Hansen, then he was sued into oblivion because of the guys committing suicide, but I also don't think that they were that much.

• 19:45Speaker 05

  Who sued them?

• 19:46Speaker 01

  The families of the people that committed suicide.

• 19:47Speaker 05

  But does that even work?

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:50Speaker 05

  Were they actually pedophiles?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Well, let's just say they were there. It's tricky territory because they went there to have sex. They went there to have sex with a child. If there's no child there, though, actually to have sex with, and if they then don't have sex with the child, on some level, there is a legal gap. Like, at some point, like, you can prove all these things, that they were on their way to do it, and they showed all these things, but in the very, very end, if they didn't actually do something, they can often be just let go. So, a lot of these guys that were caught in To Catch a Predator, went through the system, went through all the stuff, and then when there's not enough tangible evidence to put them in jail, they're just let out.

• 20:31Speaker 05

  So, what are they like? They show up and they're like, "Oh, I was, uh, just, I was gonna show up and tell them to not do it."

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Literally.

• 20:38Marcus Parks?

  A lot of guys do that.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Often, and then a lot of guys, they'll do a thing a lot, you'll see a lot, especially if you see these, they claim that, like, "I was, this was a fantasy. I never expected it to be a real little girl. I thought it was another adult that was, like, doing a fantasy with me." Even if they get all the way to the point where they're in front of one of the copycats in the room, they still kind of have this idea of, like, "This was never all supposed to be real," and that's how they quote-unquote get away with it.

• 21:04Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, and Rob is scrubbing through some footage right now, and as you can see, like, there were, there was one scene where there were about four cops chasing after a guy.

• 21:12Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:13Marcus Parks?

  They had armed cops there.

• 21:15Speaker 05

  So, Chris Hansen worked with the police?

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Well, they hide. They hide in the background, and then he interviews them for a few minutes first, and then eventually he's like, "Well, I have something to tell you. I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline," and then as soon as he says that, all these cameras come out, and then they're like, "Oh, fuck." Yeah, well, then they walk out, and the cops are normally there to arrest them, but if there is no evidence, they can't keep them.

• 21:33Speaker 05

  Wow. So, this is where free cable blowjobs comes from?

• 21:36Speaker 01

  It does.

• 21:37Speaker 05

  The breakfast.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  They really, yeah, of course.

• 21:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  God, I love that.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Oh, man. But, uh... Man, Chris Hansen is a very interesting, uh, topic, man.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Chris Hansen's an interesting...

• 21:49Speaker 05

  I'm gonna do a deeper dive on him.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Chris Hansen is a strange individual.

• 21:53Marcus Parks?

  Very strange.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  And quite litigious, so...

• 21:56Marcus Parks?

  I am looking forward to the Robert Pattinson movie, though.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Oh, easy.

• 22:00Marcus Parks?

  But I want, man, I, you know, I saw The Odyssey.

• 22:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:03Marcus Parks?

  Loved it.

• 22:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, Pattinson was phenomenal.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  I love our Patt.

• 22:06Marcus Parks?

  And that's the thing, is that I found, I discovered that I like him more as a villain than as anything else.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  He's got bad guy face.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  He's incredible bad guy.

• 22:15Marcus Parks?

  Because he, the way he juts out, his bottom jaw is perfect.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  And his eyebrows.

• 22:21Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  Bad guy eyebrows.

• 22:23Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, and he can go from being, looking tough to looking scared, it's the cowardly villain. He's it so well.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  He's a great actor.

• 22:29Marcus Parks?

  He's incredible.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  And also, I love his Batman.

• 22:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:32Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I loved his Batman, too, and I also thought, uh, was it Mickey 19, Mickey 17?

• 22:37Speaker 05

  I never saw it.

• 22:38Marcus Parks?

  Underrated.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  He's the only, he's the reason why that movie's watchable.

• 22:41Marcus Parks?

  People, yeah, Mark Ruffalo kind of fucks it up with his, like, Trump character.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  I hate his Trump character.

• 22:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, he really, he does, like, he drags the whole movie down.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Looks like written by, like, Rachel Maddow.

• 22:51Marcus Parks?

  I know, but if it was, but the thing is about it is that if we were in, still in an era where a bunch of movies were coming out all the time, it would have been seen, I think, as a really fun, like, kind of classic genre sci-fi movie, that, but everyone wanted it to be like the next Parasite, and they wanted to say all of this shit, and it's like, it's just a fucking sci-fi movie, and it's okay that it's just a sci-fi movie.

• 23:17Speaker 05

  It's interesting that you say that Ruffalo was bad at his, like, Trump character. It's because he's so opposite of it. You kind of need someone who, James Woods probably would have been a better casting.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 05

  Or, why do you think Alec Baldwin was so good at it? Because he's so close to him.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  He really is.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  Because he's the most like Trump of the left.

• 23:35Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Speaker 05

  That's why it worked.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Well, now he's regulated to doing memes with his wife.

• 23:39Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Have you seen the most recent memes? He does a lot of meme videos with Anaria.

• 23:45Speaker 05

  I could care less.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  She makes him rap. He looks like he wants to blow his fucking brains out.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, because it used to be something.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, he really did.

• 23:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  He really, really did. Now, he's, now he's essentially a nanny.

• 23:58Speaker 05

  How do we feel about Chris Hansen? Is he a good guy, is he a bad guy?

• 24:01Speaker 01

  He is a straight down the middle.

• 24:03Speaker 05

  Right?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  He is dubious.

• 24:05Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I would, I'm chaotic neutral.

• 24:08Speaker 05

  Chaotic, right?

• 24:09Marcus Parks?

  Chaotic neutral, that's where I put him.

• 24:10Speaker 05

  Because he's doing something that I feel like has to be done.

• 24:11Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, but it's also very dangerous and it...

• 24:14Speaker 05

  And it's for your own personal glory, which pisses me off, too.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Well, he benefits entirely.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Because he thinks he's some kind of fucking hero.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Yes, he benefits entirely, and a lot of the cases get thrown out.

• 24:23Marcus Parks?

  And as you can see, he, uh, he inspired so many people who are just going out and causing chaos in the world for no gain whatsoever.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:32Marcus Parks?

  Like, all this guy did, this fucking influencer, all he did was get into a fight at a Tim Hortons and almost kill a one-year-old child.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, see, that's kind of what we've been saying more and more on Side Stories, is like, don't hurt your local pedophile, don't like, don't do bad, like, physical things to them, torture them mentally.

• 24:51Marcus Parks?

  Sure, yeah, gang stalking.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Gang stalking, move their shit around, like, do that kind of stuff, like, deflate their tires in their car, like, write pedophile on their fucking mail a lot, you know?

• 25:02Marcus Parks?

  If you get arrested for anything, get arrested for harassment.

• 25:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, you could beat that.

• 25:06Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, you can beat that, especially if you should.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  Never touch him.

• 25:09Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, never, ever touch him.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Never touch him. Always just do right on the border and do a lot of, "Are you gonna hit me, pussy? You gonna hit me, pussy?"

• 25:16Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 25:17Speaker 05

  And then when they do, what do you do?

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Ow, ow, my neck! Ow, my back! Ow! That's my strategy.

• 25:24Marcus Parks?

  Well, you do, well...

• 25:25Speaker 01

  That's my fight strategy, Marcus.

• 25:27Marcus Parks?

  Well, what you do is you never let him know it's you. You do it completely anonymously.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 25:31Marcus Parks?

  Anonymously.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Wear a mask.

• 25:33Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, you cannot let him, you can't even let him know that someone is fucking with him, you have to make him question his own sanity. It's Gangstalking 101.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Russian tactics.

• 25:40Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Russian tactics always win.

• 25:42Marcus Parks?

  And FBI tactics, and CIA tactics.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  We learned.

• 25:45Marcus Parks?

  And Scientology tactics.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  They taught it to us.

• 25:47Marcus Parks?

  They did, they learned it from you, Scientology.

• 25:50Speaker 05

  That's because I was watching you.

• 25:52Marcus Parks?

  I learned it from watching you.

• 25:54Speaker 01

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• 29:58Marcus Parks?

  Live from your grave. A former Ohio attorney was found guilty of attempted murder after he tried to shoot and kill his ex-wife in a restaurant. Matthew Exton, 43, attempted to shoot his ex-wife inside the Suk restaurant in Toledo, Ohio on April 11th, 2025. Exton was found guilty of attempted murder in two counts of felonious assault with two firearm specifications attached to each of the three accounts. He's scheduled to be sentenced on September 21st. Prosecutors allege that Exton walked into the restaurant with a loaded firearm, pointed it at the victim, and attempted to fire the weapon, according to an arrest warrant. However, Exton's weapon failed to discharge as the weapon appeared to still have the safety on.

• 30:43Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Now, the key here is the video. The video is, if you can go and watch it, it's crazy. So he comes in, I think he's wearing a Chicago Bears jersey or some, what is he, what do, okay.

• 30:56Marcus Parks?

  It looks Bears, it looks like Bears colors.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  Bears colors, for sure. Hold, hold the video here, Rob.

• 31:01Speaker 05

  He's definitely not pretending to be anyone else.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Okay. This is a full hypothetical, obviously. You're gonna go kill your ex-wife.

• 31:10Marcus Parks?

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  What are you wearing?

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Because you gotta get, you know, you're waking up that day to kill your ex-wife.

• 31:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Right, you're wait, you're ready to kill your ex-wife. You know you're putting the clothes on that are gonna be in the videos and the mug shots.

• 31:25Speaker 05

  Like this, in the middle of a restaurant?

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's say you're, you've gone completely insane.

• 31:29Speaker 05

  I don't care about getting caught.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, you, the, oh, the goal is to be caught.

• 31:34Speaker 05

  Okay, all right, that changes everything.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:37Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, cuz I'm not, if that's the thing, if I'm doing it this brazenly, I'm not thinking, I'm not gonna be thinking about what I'm wearing.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  You see, that's funny, I'm the opposite, I would be wearing like a message on my shirt.

• 31:46Speaker 05

  Oh dude, a bag of hat.

• 31:47Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Marcus Parks?

  Muddy the waters as much as possible.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's a good tactic.

• 31:55Marcus Parks?

  It's a pretty good one.

• 31:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, just throwing fucking whatever out there, dude, it's a trap, dude.

• 32:00Marcus Parks?

  Maybe, I don't know, a Nixon mask.

• 32:02Speaker 05

  That's fun.

• 32:03Marcus Parks?

  And maybe like a Nixon t-shirt, and Nixon's the one.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:06Marcus Parks?

  Every piece of Nixon merchandise I can find, just dressed head to toe.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  I think I'd finally wear.

• 32:11Marcus Parks?

  And I did it, and I'll yell, did it for you, dick!

• 32:16Speaker 01

  I think I'd finally wear all that Asian gear I'm not allowed to wear anymore.

• 32:19Marcus Parks?

  You know what?

• 32:20Speaker 01

  That big kimono I'd wear, I'd wear the big cone hat.

• 32:23Marcus Parks?

  You wouldn't go dashiki?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  No, cuz you don't, cuz if.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  I don't wanna be racist.

• 32:29Speaker 05

  Ever has a chance of coming back, you can't be the guy who wore it to kill his wife.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  No, that's the thing.

• 32:34Speaker 05

  It's gonna end even more.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  I'm a fat man dashiki advocate that is looking for the.

• 32:40Speaker 05

  You need a window back in.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  I need a Pan racial dashiki to be back on me.

• 32:44Marcus Parks?

  Sure, sure, okay, so yeah, you can wear, I guess, wear, yeah, the kimono and the.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Pan racial.

• 32:48Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, Pan racial, gotcha.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  And so, all right, so we cut to this, so he goes to fire the gun, right?

• 32:53Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  And it jams. And the woman, he forgot to turn the safety off.

• 32:57Marcus Parks?

  And the ex-wife knows exactly what's happening, she puts her hand out and she yells, no.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  Well, she set up her, she saw him coming through the window and set up her phone, there's actually an angle from her phone.

• 33:08Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 05

  She like set it up to record whatever he was gonna say to her, cuz she knew it was gonna be super abusive.

• 33:13Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 05

  And then, uh, and then it's fucking, and then she's just, she caught him like pointing the gun at the phone, basically.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  Which is fucking crazy, but who saves her? The waiter.

• 33:24Marcus Parks?

  The waiter.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  And I've never, not that I've never seen a waiter save anybody.

• 33:28Speaker 05

  No, waiters do good.

• 33:30Marcus Parks?

  No, waiters do good, and what, you gotta remember, man, like.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 33:34Marcus Parks?

  Wow.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  The angle from her phone is fucking harrowing.

• 33:37Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it really is, but, you know, we've all worked as.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  She's laughing like, and she's like, oh, what's he gonna fucking do?

• 33:43Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we've all worked as waiters at one point in our lives.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  I haven't.

• 33:47Marcus Parks?

  You haven't?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  No, I've never done food service.

• 33:49Speaker 05

  I've only worked as a waiter when waiters didn't show up.

• 33:52Marcus Parks?

  Gotcha.

• 33:53Speaker 05

  And so I was just angry and then told everyone to go fuck themselves.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  No, I never had the skill set, I was never good enough to be a waiter.

• 33:59Marcus Parks?

  Oh, no, no, I got fired from every waiter job I ever got, I was really bad at it.

• 34:04Speaker 05

  I knew I was not, that was not for me.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  I got back a house face.

• 34:07Marcus Parks?

  But back when I was, uh, you know, but, but back when I was dabbling in the food service industry, like, we didn't really think about the mass shooting, like, the mass shooting possibility.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 34:17Marcus Parks?

  Like, people who work in public now, every single one of them thinks about that, they think about, they have to. They have to think about like, what's gonna happen if a guy comes in here with a gun? And that guy, that waiter, obviously had decided, like, if a guy comes in with a gun, I'm gonna have to fucking tackle him. But to save as many people and also to save himself.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  I think it's, it's so daunting that we keep putting this back on our people that work for minimum wage.

• 34:46Marcus Parks?

  Yes, no, it's a fucking, it's a tragedy.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  It is, it is really fucked up that we're at a point where that waiter had to do something like this.

• 34:56Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  There's also, again, a big message, y'all, don't kill your ex-wife.

• 35:00Marcus Parks?

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  You know what's the most excellent revenge? A life well-lived, yes. It is the most excellent revenge is to lose that weight. Fucking, that guy got on a Peloton, lost some weight, got a better attitude, learned how to play guitar, maybe got a better job, maybe got shaved his face, got a better haircut, maybe if he had, you know, like, all that kinda stuff, maybe he'd be seeing more dividends in his day-to-day life.

• 35:28Marcus Parks?

  Well, he claimed that his life was ruined by the divorce, hence the attempted murder. In his testimony, Essex said he was frustrated by how she'd handled their divorce, which occurred in 2024. He said he became homeless after their split, despite working as a prosecutor in Michigan and practicing law in Ohio. So it sounds to me that this is a man who does not know how to manage his life in any way whatsoever.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  If he's a lawyer and he's homeless, he must be a really bad lawyer. If you're a fucking lawyer and you end up homeless, you fucked up.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's calling himself homeless cuz his wife took the house. You know, I'm sure he has an apartment that he rents, you know, he's just like, literally just adding to the drama.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  No, he's just a prick. Yeah, he's just a fucking prick, and he just, he thought that he could just kill her, and I'm so glad she lived. Like, that's the best part about the story, is that she gets to number one, first of all, what does every woman of a certain age love to be?

• 36:23Marcus Parks?

  Right?

• 36:24Speaker 01

  Survivor.

• 36:24Marcus Parks?

  Oh.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  A survivor, my mom is just like, there's things you could do, like, like, there are things, the way my mom even kind of just thinks about stuff, has just been like, uh, sometimes it's just wonderful, I got to fight that abuser. Like, just because it gave her strength, right? She loved the idea of it, this woman is invincible now.

• 36:43Marcus Parks?

  Oh, you could see, as soon as the shooter was taken down to the ground, she stands up and starts standing, and starts pointing her finger at him, fucking yelling at him.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  You fucking idiot!

• 36:53Speaker 05

  You can't do anything right! You can't even fucking kill me! You're a bad lawyer! You're bad at fucking, you're bad at being a husband! You got a stupid hat on, that jacket doesn't fit, you're fat! You're coming here and trying to kill me in this nice restaurant? This fucking place never asked for that!

• 37:12Speaker 01

  That fat fuck got taken down by the replacement waiter. He was the one who came over when the shift ended for Shelly that picked up the beginning of the jacket.

• 37:20Speaker 05

  I didn't even get to touch my kafta, my kafta egg rolls, which, look, I can't tell if these look good or not.

• 37:26Marcus Parks?

  Oh, no.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  No, yeah, no, that's probably, those, that's kafta, which is, you know, that, do you like, what's the buts? Do you ever get those, one of my favorite meats at a Mediterranean restaurant, like, cuz I love the.

• 37:36Speaker 05

  It's the stick, it's like hamburger on a stick.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  See, I like the, the poopy, the ones that look like poops.

• 37:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're good.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  I like the poops.

• 37:43Marcus Parks?

  Oh, I, I like that.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  That's what that is, that's the poops, that's the poops meat in Mediterranean food, when they put it in a spring roll.

• 37:50Marcus Parks?

  Okay, well, I like Afghani food.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you like the poops meat.

• 37:53Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I do like the poops meat, but I don't, I don't like pre-cut egg rolls though, because they get in, they get cold on the inside.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't like pre-cut egg rolls.

• 38:00Speaker 05

  That's a really good point, yeah.

• 38:02Speaker 01

  I don't like pre-cut eggs, cuz also to me, it shows all the grease coming out, it's presentational, it's kinda, we don't need to do this.

• 38:07Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I don't need to see what's on the inside, cuz what's on the inside of an egg roll is never appetizing.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  They dry out.

• 38:11Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, they dry out.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  It's why it's in an egg roll, it's wrapped up.

• 38:13Speaker 05

  This one comes from, um, Brittany G. in Toledo, she says, "It's patio season and the patio at Suk is hard to beat. Comfortable seating and lovely views."

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Maybe that's why he went to go shoot her there. Thank God, there's a patio. Oh, I can see right in, excellent. Perfect place to kill your ex-wife.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, they got great reviews.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Unless Mario is on, is on, is doing his shift, because then he's gonna take you down, he's been waiting to attack a customer for years, cuz that's the thing, never give a waiter an opportunity to attack you.

• 38:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  They have been filled with so much pent-up rage about the customer.

• 38:50Speaker 05

  This guy finally gets to attack a customer.

• 38:52Marcus Parks?

  Uh, yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 05

  He's justified in attacking a customer.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  That's.

• 38:56Marcus Parks?

  Every, everyone who has ever worked in customer service has had that fantasy, and you want it, you want it, you want to be able to, like, just like, one day just someone's gonna come in, I'm just gonna take out all this fucking rage I have on that fucking asshole.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  My manager at Borders was like, if someone shoplifts from here, you are to chase him into the street and get those books back. And it was like, absolutely not.

• 39:21Marcus Parks?

  No.

• 39:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:22Marcus Parks?

  You know what, you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of, um, what, what's the new snake documentary called, God of Snakes?

• 39:29Speaker 05

  Oh, Monsters of God.

• 39:30Marcus Parks?

  Monsters of God, uh, the, the way, when they start off episode two and talk to the undercover cop, and he says like, "I can't wait for one of them to come into my house. I masturbate to the thought of one of them coming to my house."

• 39:49Speaker 05

  And he's just surrounded by guns?

• 39:51Marcus Parks?

  So many guns, it's the nicest gun room I've ever seen in my life. I masturbate to the thought of that, that's everyone who works in customer service. Oh, just wait for someone to come in, that they can unleash all their rage on.

• 40:06Speaker 05

  I remember I was working security at a, uh, at the Shania Twain concert when I was a kid, I was 16 years old, full football Eddie, strong, probably as strong as I've ever been in my whole life.

• 40:14Marcus Parks?

  You know, yeah, I mean, I know you're telling the story, and I just gotta say, that don't impress me much.

• 40:19Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Good work, Marcus.

• 40:23Marcus Parks?

  Thank you.

• 40:24Speaker 05

  So, I'm sitting there, my job is to guard the back of the hill of the lawn. You know, like, the guy's like, if anyone runs up the hill, you gotta stop them, you don't let them in the concert for free. And then, my 16-year-old ass, I'm just sitting up there, I'm like, if anyone tries to come up, I'm just gonna let them in, good for them. Yeah, who gives a fuck?

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck that shit, yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  30 minutes later, I'm like, someone comes up this fucking hill, I'm gonna tackle them so goddamn hard, I'm gonna beat them.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, you're allowed to fucking uncork your rage on somebody.

• 40:49Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, yeah, that's what they give you at the end, never give that, never give that power to a 16-year-old.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Ever, no, now they just take it to Reddit.

• 40:55Speaker 05

  And then I just started walking around the crowd, looking for people smoking weed, and I, this, people are gonna hate me for this, I found some guy smoking weed and I put my flashlight in his face, I was like, hey, give me that, I work here.

• 41:10Speaker 05

  And he's like, he's like, what are you gonna do? I was like, give me your weed, you know, he gave it to me and I left and I went and smoked. Tell God! Up by the back, like, oh, it's coming, it's a Shania Twain concert.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 41:19Speaker 05

  That's okay because you smoked it.

• 41:21Marcus Parks?

  Actually, that, that, that is totally fine. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it, cause at the end of the day, he was probably so happy that he didn't get kicked out of the concert. Yeah, that's fine.

• 41:30Speaker 05

  I also got arrested there for smoking weed like weeks later.

• 41:36Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, that's karma. Unfortunately, that is karma.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  I went to a Wu-Tang concert before, they were three hours late. I was there with a date. We went, we had rolled up a huge ass blunt. We were there for like two hours waiting. Like they ended up showing up until like, it was like three hours 15. I light up the blunt for, and the second a bouncer comes, grabs the blunt out of my hands, throws it on the ground, stomps on it. I would have rather him smoked it. Like that is where it's supposed to go. It makes me angry when they waste that.

• 42:06Speaker 05

  I'm surprised like you, that's, that's how I know you really are a germaphobe. Cause I would have tried to light that shit back up.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  No, he destroyed it.

• 42:13Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah?

• 42:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, he destroyed it. He was just like, I'm like, what the fuck?

• 42:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  This is so much worse than the smoke. That was just ground up weed.

• 42:21Marcus Parks?

  Now, some for someone else fucking sweep up.

• 42:24Speaker 05

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• 44:23Speaker 05

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• 45:01Speaker 05

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• 46:08Speaker 05

  Oh no, it's my favorite thing in the world. It's Quince. Oh, I look good. I mean, I feel good. You know, it's been a while since I wanted to look at myself in the mirror and Quince really helps me with that. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see myself in that beautiful cashmere Quince sweater and I think, dang, everybody's gonna want this. I better take it off because I love my wife. You gotta get that versatile jacket. You gotta get the perfect T-shirt. And you know who's got it?

• 46:47Speaker 05

  Oh, it's Quince. Quince has got it. If you come to one of the shows, you'll probably see me wearing Quince. If you can't guess which part of my clothes are Quince, I'll give you a pinch. That's right. Quince for a pinch here over at Last Podcast on the Left. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. I like the cashmere. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Last Podcast on the Left.

• 47:27Speaker 05

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• 47:38Speaker 01

  Speaking of, speaking of just something else for somebody else to speak, to sweep up, a TV's news anchor stabbed her fucking mother.

• 47:47Marcus Parks?

  A former news anchor.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  fatally stabbed her mother in her own bed during a horrific Halloween attack before allegedly claiming

• 47:55Marcus Parks?

  she did it to quote, "save myself." Angeline Angie Mock, actually I'd, I'd read that and I was like, there's no way her name's Angeline. It is.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's Australian. Well, she's, well, yeah, cause I believe she's from Wichita.

• 48:08Marcus Parks?

  This is Kansas.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, Angeline is a very.

• 48:10Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Angeline.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Angeline.

• 48:13Marcus Parks?

  Angie Mock, 48, entered a guilty plea to first degree murder in connection with the death of her 80-year-old mother, Anita Avers, on October 31st of last year, inside their shared residence in Wichita, Kansas. Disturbing fresh details regarding the crime scene have surfaced in a probable cause affidavit. Responding officers discovered Avers unresponsive in bed, dressed only in underwear and a bra, positioned beneath blankets in an extensive pool of blood, bearing severe stab wounds to her face, head, neck, torso, and arms. In a particularly chilling detail, four blood-covered kitchen knives and a bloodied cheese grater were allegedly positioned on a pillow beside her head. Court records stated all the utensils had blood on them.

• 48:58Speaker 05

  Wow. So she fucking got out the cheese grater on her.

• 49:02Marcus Parks?

  Got out the cheese grater.

• 49:03Speaker 05

  Now, do you think, all right, pre or post murder?

• 49:06Marcus Parks?

  Uh, post because Avers was transported to the hospital, but subsequently succumbed to her injuries. She was still alive when cops showed up.

• 49:13Speaker 05

  She was still alive?

• 49:14Marcus Parks?

  She was still alive.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  So she was just cheese grating her somewhere?

• 49:18Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, cheese, cheese grating her, stabbing her with four different knives. I mean, she's, it's anger. You know, she's really taken out a lot of anger and also, also extreme mental illness.

• 49:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, sorry. So she's in her bed. Okay. She's in her bed. She's laying there. She's sleeping, the victim. Okay. The woman comes in, she hates her mom, she stabs her. Then she goes to the kitchen and gets another knife? Or does she show up with a bucket of knives and a cheese grater and then just starts going to town?

• 49:44Marcus Parks?

  Hmm.

• 49:45Speaker 05

  How would you do it? I mean, I would probably get one. I imagine I would stab once, you break the knife, cause knives aren't always as strong as you think they are. They hit a bone, they break.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why oftentimes you get cut really bad if you stab.

• 49:57Speaker 05

  And she did. She did get cut really bad. She got taken to the hospital with her cuts to her hands.

• 50:01Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah. So I think that she stabbed once, didn't work, went and got another knife. And then like, it didn't work again. And then the third time, she's like, all right, I'm just gonna bring a bunch back.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  You'll also be surprised. I, I do genuinely believe that on some level, you'd be surprised at how you would react to getting murdered. I think everybody assumes that when you get stabbed a couple of times, especially with, cause she, this is an old woman. It's an old woman. I think a lot of people assumes, oh, you're gonna freak out and you're gonna try to run away. I can also see you are so overwhelmed by the experience that you're not even really, like, people talk about it not feeling real. People talk about it all being like, like all rushing together. So you can kind of see how she might've just laid there in a half asleep state.

• 50:47Marcus Parks?

  And it's also your daughter.

• 50:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:48Marcus Parks?

  Who stabbed you too. It's not some stranger.

• 50:50Speaker 05

  Exactly. And there's that old expression, like everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  Mike Tyson.

• 50:56Marcus Parks?

  I've got, I've got a little bit of a timeline here.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 50:59Marcus Parks?

  Detectives say Mock later claimed she had gone into her mother's bedroom to discuss an upcoming TV job interview when she found Avers quote unquote, "sharpening knives." Her mother was apparently sharpening knives.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  Oh, my, my mom always does that before.

• 51:14Marcus Parks?

  Uh, Mock alleged her mother came after her with a knife and fought her before she grabbed a knife herself and got on top of her. Investigators also reportedly described a trail of bloody droplets throughout the residence. They reportedly discovered a bloody butcher knife alongside Mock's phone on a living room coffee table while the victim's blood-soaked phone had been discarded in the kitchen sink. The affidavit reveals Mock made startling allegations about her mother during questioning and this also, this has a little bit of bearing on how much you believe of the, you know, the assailant's story. She allegedly insisted Avers was the devil and spewing venom and maintained she stabbed her mother because

• 51:57Marcus Parks?

  she believed her life was in danger. Uh, of course, uh, Mock's stepfather told authorities her mental health had significantly deteriorated following her dismissal from her broadcasting career.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  What is it about news anchors? I feel like news anchors-

• 52:14Marcus Parks?

  In what respect?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Are like low-key some of the more unstable people.

• 52:21Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Like in a, because you've kind of see, there's a lot of like, there is weird news anchor-

• 52:27Marcus Parks?

  Boring.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  But I feel like that's kind of the issue is I feel like there's a lot of times we project this idea onto news anchors, kind of like with the story, the famous story with the astronaut with the diaper and she drove across the country and all that kind of shit. Where we're like, does, do rational people do this? And then you start to find out like, oh, within the science community, there's quite a lot of lunatics.

• 52:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  A lot of crazy people in science community that are just good at their jobs. They just think a certain way and you apply a boring label to them because you assume that they have to be boring to be a scientist. With same thing with like news anchors. I feel like a lot of times they end up being kind of crazy.

• 53:00Speaker 05

  Well, they are just proficient, professional busybodies.

• 53:02Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:04Marcus Parks?

  They're going somewhere asking, but hey, hey, hey, what are you, what are you doing? What are you doing? What's going on here?

• 53:08Speaker 01

  There's some, they seem-

• 53:09Marcus Parks?

  Let's see if we can find someone who's willing to talk to us.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Like Matt Lauer, Matt Lauer was a crazy guy, right? He's a bad dude. We got, um, what's his, but, uh, Kelly Ripa's skinny.

• 53:18Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  You got the, I'm trying to think-

• 53:20Speaker 05

  The guy was the liar, Johnson?

• 53:21Marcus Parks?

  I mean-

• 53:23Speaker 05

  Brian Johnson.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:25Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. I mean, for the most part, you know, they're pretty level, like, you know, um, what do you call it? Uh, what, what's his name? Good night and good luck. Edward R. Murrow.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:32Marcus Parks?

  Like, he was very good, you know, uh, you know, I, I would say Sam Donaldson. There's nothing wrong with him, right?

• 53:36Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 53:37Marcus Parks?

  I grew up watching Sam Donaldson. I love Sam Donaldson.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Ted Koppel does weird stuff.

• 53:41Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? I feel like the guys do weird stuff.

• 53:44Marcus Parks?

  Hmm.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  Marv Albert, we know, did weird stuff.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:47Speaker 05

  How do we, is Geraldo considered news?

• 53:50Marcus Parks?

  Uh, he's considered amongst, he, he's there, but yeah, he's a crazy one too.

• 53:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's definitely crazy.

• 53:55Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. I think from what I read, I read a book not too long ago about meditation. It was called 10% Happier and it was written by a TV news anchor-

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 54:05Marcus Parks?

  Who had discovered like meditation helped him to calm down. The craziest ones are the war correspondents. Those, those are the ones that are-

• 54:13Speaker 05

  But they're just awesome.

• 54:14Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Yeah. They're amazing.

• 54:15Speaker 05

  They're just smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey.

• 54:16Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. And this guy was a war correspondent at some point. He went from like the desk to war course, to religion, to war correspondent.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Man, who was, who was the chick that was played by Gone Girl with the eye patch?

• 54:26Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  She was fucking awesome.

• 54:28Marcus Parks?

  Oh, what was her name?

• 54:30Speaker 01

  Roseman Pike?

• 54:31Speaker 05

  Roseman Pike was the actress who played the, the journalist, the famous journalist-

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was fucking badass, dude. I love that shit.

• 54:40Marcus Parks?

  I don't know if news anchors have, I, I think this is a, this is more of a schizo effective type of situation. I don't know. This is, like, I would, I actually, I would say there probably aren't a lot of schizo, schizophrenics in the news anchor business.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  Side stories, L P O T L at gmail dot com.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Do you know someone with schizophrenia?

• 55:00Speaker 01

  Know it's a good movie?

• 55:01Speaker 05

  In the news business?

• 55:02Speaker 01

  To Die For. When's the last time y'all seen that?

• 55:04Marcus Parks?

  Oh, the Nicole Kidman one? Yeah.

• 55:06Speaker 05

  She's like the news anchor serial killer.

• 55:08Marcus Parks?

  Oh, man, that's since the nineties.

• 55:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 05

  I love all that shit. Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler's good.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 55:15Speaker 05

  I love that kind of stuff. All right. Well, I hope that she gets better.

• 55:19Marcus Parks?

  She had previously been employed at Fox Two in St. Louis, Missouri, establishing herself as a recognizable presence on local television following her hiring in 2011. Oh, man, because I'm, I love local news.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:34Marcus Parks?

  I'm, I fucking, every time we, anytime we go somewhere and, and play a show, I spend most of my time in the hotel room just watching the local news.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  I love, especially in other countries, I love local news.

• 55:45Marcus Parks?

  Man, in other countries, local news. But yeah, like the local news in Tulsa, Oklahoma, or in Tulsa was incredible. Like there was a whole, this whole story on a horse girl that had the most incredible name in the world. I actually do have to look this up. I took pictures.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  Know what I like just as much as local news is local radio commercials.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Pittsburgh?

• 56:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Pittsburgh has some of the best radio commercials possible.

• 56:13Speaker 05

  You always find out what's wrong with that town.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  It is my favorite. Exactly. What are their main problems? You have like, it is the Pittsburgh accent in an official capacity. It is one of my favorite things. Like hearing a guy in Pittsburgh accent saying stuff like, trouble going on in the roundy, you know what I mean? Like, it's one of my favorite things in the world.

• 56:33Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a, a news story about a, a girl, she was a horse girl. She was a rodeo girl and her name was Piper Toon.

• 56:41Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, dude. She had to be, she had to be a horse girl.

• 56:46Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, her mother's Heather Toon.

• 56:49Speaker 05

  Heather Toon.

• 56:50Marcus Parks?

  Heather Toon. Oh, man. I, I love local news, uh, so much. Oh, and, uh, there's also, I, I also love to see all of the different mistakes they make. Like here's, I have a picture here of, uh, their news report in which they, uh, wrote number of tiple digits instead of triple digits. Uh, and I watched the news for a whole hour. They didn't correct it the second time around either.

• 57:11Speaker 05

  No, they didn't.

• 57:12Marcus Parks?

  No one caught it. Um, I love, love local news because you get to see this guy, Daryl Riggins.

• 57:19Speaker 05

  Oh, I love Daryl Riggins.

• 57:22Marcus Parks?

  I'll have to send this to you, Rob, so you can put it up on the video.

• 57:24Speaker 05

  Oh, poor Daryl. Daryl's just trying to be a man.

• 57:28Marcus Parks?

  Well, he was arrested with a mobile meth lab.

• 57:30Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Like I said, just trying to be a man. Just trying to be a guy.

• 57:34Marcus Parks?

  Just trying, just trying to make it through. Just trying to make it through. Um, but so, yeah, this is the first time I've seen that a, um, a local news anchor has been like directly involved in a brutal, uh, murder in which she thought that her mother was Satan.

• 57:48Speaker 05

  Yeah. Hey, man, good for her.

• 57:49Marcus Parks?

  Here's the first.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, you never know.

• 57:51Marcus Parks?

  You never know.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  You never fucking know.

• 57:53Marcus Parks?

  You never know. And speaking of brutal murder, brutal mutilations, cattle mutilations back in the news.

• 57:59Speaker 05

  Thank you. It's news you can use.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  I feel like this is-

• 58:04Speaker 05

  You remember?

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 58:07Speaker 05

  The news you can use.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Um, so-

• 58:11Marcus Parks?

  Oh, wow. I guess we did also skip right past pedophile corner, didn't we?

• 58:15Speaker 05

  We really did. Yeah. Ow, ow, don't touch me.

• 58:18Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we did skip right past.

• 58:19Speaker 05

  Ow, ow, don't touch me.

• 58:20Marcus Parks?

  It was more about the pedophile hunter than it was a pedophile.

• 58:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've grown.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  See, uh-

• 58:25Speaker 05

  So I gotta say, Henry, with all the shitty alien news that's been coming out lately, with the FBI dumping everything on us and we can't care about it because it's all coming from fucking shithead Patel.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  It's all stuff that we've seen. Yes. It's all stuff that we've seen before. A lot of the stuff that's been re-released in these new aliens.gov fucking horseshit has all been released into various areas. We've all seen these videos already. Cash Patel also thought it was really cute to make it all look like X-Files so they could continue to make fun of us from this idea of that we are obviously so stupid and naive to even want this proof. He has to make sure to insult us while we're receiving it.

• 59:06Marcus Parks?

  Yes.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  That's the key. That the key is to make sure we still know that we're wrong and stupid.

• 59:13Speaker 05

  How much of the community knows they're being insulted?

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Uh, I, I'd say straight up 50%. And the other 50% right now are just kind of chasing after this other, uh, idea of disclosure that is, uh, gone.

• 59:25Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. I mean, well, they want it so bad and they think that maybe this is right. And so they'll, they'll chase, it's the information hounds. Like they'll chase every single bit of information. They think if they gather enough information, then they'll see something that nobody else will see. They'll see the pattern.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  I, this idea too, that, that, uh, if we, the, just people that like the movie Disclosure Day are exactly kind of the issue, right? Which is this idea that, that, that in some, someone in an official capacity within the government is finally going to give everybody the proof that they need as if the phenomena itself, uh, can be even recorded in that way.

• 1:00:06Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it cannot.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:00:08Marcus Parks?

  We know it cannot.

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  Well, you know, we don't know if it can, you know?

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  You're right, Eddie.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  We don't.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  We don't know what we don't know.

• 1:00:15Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we don't have the technology to record it just yet. There might be some infrared camera that has, that captures some, like, that would be really cool. If one day there was this camera where they find some frequency where they actually can show like, oh, that's what it actually looks like.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  I feel like that would require entirely understanding human consciousness, which they'll never do.

• 1:00:36Speaker 05

  See, I'm more talking about extraterrestrials.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes.

• 1:00:40Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. No, that's what I mean. It's like, if we-

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  Because I could see not being able to photograph the, the UAPs.

• 1:00:45Marcus Parks?

  Sure.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  But the actual like things walking around.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  You gotta be able to take a photo of them.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, of course. But they, uh, don't want to be taken pictures of, apparently.

• 1:00:54Marcus Parks?

  You know, it really is when, when you're at a concert in Los Angeles, like a big concert in Los Angeles, that's really when you start to have that question. Like it's, you know, me and Caroline, we're enjoying a hot dog at the Rose Bowl. We went and saw Guns N' Roses and that's when she leaned over and asked like, so do you think aliens are just walking around among us? Because you see that at those sorts of concerts. That's when you really see just the true weirdos of Southern California.

• 1:01:17Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. People just trying to be human.

• 1:01:19Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  LA.

• 1:01:21Marcus Parks?

  Trying really hard to be human.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Is where aliens have went.

• 1:01:25Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  If they are anywhere, they're here.

• 1:01:27Marcus Parks?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 05

  If they want to fucking gain some notoriety.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Hey, they want to make in the biz.

• 1:01:32Marcus Parks?

  Well, here, but my theory, they're in the desert. They're just outside of here in the desert. Cause I saw so many desert people at that Guns N' Roses show.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, like the Skinwalker Ranch's neighbors.

• 1:01:43Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  And so all that one day.

• 1:01:45Marcus Parks?

  One day, yeah.

• 1:01:46Speaker 05

  So, but this is one of the things that I really, I don't believe in this shit. No offense, Henry. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:01:54Speaker 05

  But the cow mutilation thing is the only thing I can't figure out or have like any kind of, can't explain away.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  They, no one can.

• 1:02:02Marcus Parks?

  A new documentary, Not One Drop of Blood, available to stream this week on Amazon Prime Video, investigates the enduring phenomenon and the recent cluster of cases in Oregon's remote Harney County. The mystery intensified in February 2021 when one mutilated cow was discovered on ranchland before six more were found across the county with body parts missing and reportedly no blood remaining. One local law enforcement officer admits in the film that the baffling evidence has pushed him towards an extraordinary explanation. Quote, "My personal opinion, it's-"

• 1:02:36Speaker 05

  Aliens.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  See.

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  And I should know, cause I've lived in horny county my whole life.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  That's supposed to be something different. I legitimately, um, this is legitimately one of the more mysterious parts of the entire phenomenon.

• 1:02:52Speaker 05

  Because what's doing it? If there's no footprints, there's no blood.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Well, they always say, like, there's always an idea that there was some kind of predator behavior, that there's some kind of poaching behavior. It just doesn't match any predator that we know.

• 1:03:06Speaker 05

  Why would you poach a cow and not take its meat?

• 1:03:09Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, and only take its blood.

• 1:03:11Speaker 05

  Only take its blood?

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 1:03:12Speaker 05

  Tongue, its testicles, and its udders.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  And that's constantly what they all do.

• 1:03:16Speaker 05

  The one thing that's different about this is in the past, I've seen, they say it's like a laser that cuts it off, and this, they say a scalpel.

• 1:03:24Marcus Parks?

  But that's also, I mean, that just might be the term that that dude is using.

• 1:03:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Marcus Parks?

  Using his own knowledge.

• 1:03:30Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:03:30Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, I mean, cause you gotta, we're not talking, you're not talking to a medical professional there. You're talking to some small town sheriff who's just using his own.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Some guy laser cut it? You know how they do, you know those wonderful plates the president makes? Laser cut with the beautiful bosoms of Melania? Yeah, that's what he's talking about.

• 1:03:50Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, and the, one of the craziest things for me is, you know, just growing up and, you know, on ranches in Texas and, you know, seeing dead cattle around everywhere. It's the fact that the cows just drop where they are. There's no, it's not like they're being chased, uh, it's not like they're.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's weird.

• 1:04:07Marcus Parks?

  It's, they just drop and then they're done.

• 1:04:10Speaker 05

  The more interesting thing is, no other scavenger animals ever eat them.

• 1:04:14Marcus Parks?

  That's a huge thing.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:15Marcus Parks?

  That is a massive thing, because that's what you do, like, you wanna get, actually get rid of, um, you know, cow, when, cause cows die all the time, like, when you're a rancher, like, it just fucking happens, disease, whatever.

• 1:04:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:28Marcus Parks?

  Uh, you have to get rid of them, because otherwise, you're just, you're, you're, it's a coyote's buffet.

• 1:04:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Marcus Parks?

  It's a feast.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, it's, it is very interesting, they don't get touched. It's also, what are they getting out of it? What do they get out of it? What is the point of this, besides, is it practicing for us?

• 1:04:47Speaker 05

  Maybe they're taking their fucking, their dick and their balls and their tongues, and they're making new cows in space and eating cheeseburgers on planet Xenon.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Also, cow tongue is delicious.

• 1:04:56Marcus Parks?

  Cheeseburger on planet Xenon.

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  You don't like tongue?

• 1:05:02Speaker 05

  No, not really.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  We've had it though, yeah, I made you eat it.

• 1:05:06Speaker 05

  I've, I've had it in the Jewish delis, like, I've tried it multiple times. My father made me try it as a child, yeah, because he thought it was funny, because it's just like, that was back when they would just like, you know, have like a tongue.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 05

  In the, in the deli case.

• 1:05:20Speaker 05

  You know what, I don't think, I, there's so many other good parts of a cow.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  See, if you've ever had.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  I don't wanna eat its tongue.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Have you ever had lengua? The Spanish version of tongue?

• 1:05:27Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  Mexican version of tongue?

• 1:05:29Speaker 05

  No, maybe I have.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  It's stewed.

• 1:05:31Speaker 05

  Stewed?

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  See stewed tongue is really good.

• 1:05:34Marcus Parks?

  If you've had, you have menudo?

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:05:36Marcus Parks?

  I mean.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  He doesn't have, that's the whole thing, but I'm also, I'm super not into tripe.

• 1:05:40Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  I like tripe, I had tripe in sueto, and it was gray, and I was scared, and I did it out of courage, and I thought it was delicious.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:05:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Marcus Parks?

  I like liver and onions.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, so do I.

• 1:05:50Speaker 05

  Oh, liver and onions, phenomenal stuff.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Dude, carnival? He showed me Lebanese.

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  Oh, dude.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Liver and onions? It's the best form of liver and onions I have ever had in my life.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  Carnival restaurant in, uh, in Studio City.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  All right, I'll try that. Filled with strength.

• 1:06:05Speaker 05

  Oh, dude.

• 1:06:06Marcus Parks?

  Iron.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  No, this is the, this is one of those, I actually just had a long conversation with a friend of mine about this idea, with, cause we still are very, I'm, I'm still very much of the mind that if they are physically here, it's bad news, and that this is an example of why it's bad news. Because the, let's just say.

• 1:06:28Speaker 05

  I think they're safer than we are.

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:06:31Speaker 05

  If they're around, I'm less scared of them than I am of human beings.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  You see, I just, my, my view is, they are still just curious, but it's neutral. And neutral's bad, neutral's bad versus positive. Cause neutral means they don't, doesn't matter what the outcome of the engagement that they have with us is. It doesn't matter, like, so they, we, I don't think we feature very much in their plans. I think that they are.

• 1:07:01Speaker 05

  Me looking at an anthill.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  Very much so.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  You know, I don't care that it exists, but this moment that fucks with me, I'll kill it all.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  Basically.

• 1:07:08Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  That's how I view it.

• 1:07:09Marcus Parks?

  I mean, my, my fantasy, I, I do have a fantasy of the, um, the nature preserve theory. That, that the galaxy finds Earth to be such a beautiful, strange place, that it likes to keep it the way it is, like a nature preser, like we would a nature preserver, a national park, and they come and visit us all the time.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  To look at it.

• 1:07:29Marcus Parks?

  To look at it, and it's like, it's a tourist spot, it's tourist trap.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  Or, we're the last reserves of resources in this part of the universe, and they're waiting till they're completely done.

• 1:07:40Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  And then they, like Starship Troopers in a way.

• 1:07:43Speaker 05

  They better hurry up, cause we're almost out ourselves.

• 1:07:46Speaker 01

  Oh, buddy, I actually think that's part of the uptick of all the activity. I think it's a part of the uptick of activities, like, oh, fuck, we might need to go get that stuff before they ruin everything. But also, it doesn't matter, because the Earth's gonna be here for all, the Earth doesn't even care what kind of climate, what we do to it, it's just gonna kill us.

• 1:08:05Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  And then it's gonna go back to normal.

• 1:08:07Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we've only been here a few hundred thousand years.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's gonna kill humans, and the Earth's just gonna go right back, it's gonna snap back.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  It'll go through an ice age, fix itself, and it'll come back.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's gonna be great.

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  Four billion years.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it'll be done.

• 1:08:18Marcus Parks?

  It snapped back many, many times.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Marcus Parks?

  Many, many, many times.

• 1:08:22Speaker 05

  We don't even know what the fuck happened, dinosaurs were sixty-five million years ago.

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  We don't know what the fuck's happened on this goddamn rock.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, before that, man, Gumby's.

• 1:08:31Speaker 05

  I wish.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  Gumby's.

• 1:08:33Speaker 05

  There might have been humans ten times, we have no fucking idea.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  Now we're getting them in there. Now we're really pushing them in there.

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  Now he's deep in the waters. That's bad talk, man, he's getting in there, that's Lemurian talk.

• 1:08:44Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, that is Lemurian talk.

• 1:08:46Speaker 05

  You know? He's really getting into it.

• 1:08:48Marcus Parks?

  There's two really cool, um, documentaries that just came out, like, a series, one's called Eons and one's called Humans, uh, both on PBS. They will answer many of the questions that you just posed.

• 1:08:58Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:08:58Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 05

  Eons is by far the worst, um, 311 album.

• 1:09:06Speaker 05

  And this is why they're not coming, folks.

• 1:09:07Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  This is why they're not coming out.

• 1:09:10Marcus Parks?

  Cause we're just, we're all mixed up.

• 1:09:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, we're dumb, we're dumb, they don't know what to do with us, we can't help.

• 1:09:16Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, one day you turn around, you find that the muscle is you, is that what the lyrics are to All Mixed Up?

• 1:09:22Speaker 05

  I don't know. I don't know. And then I start hitting the bong, and then it's all just like, I just wait for the middle to come back.

• 1:09:32Marcus Parks?

  Where are we at, Rob?

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  An hour.

• 1:09:36Marcus Parks?

  All right, all right.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Well, you know, I just gotta say, what a breath of fresh air this has been.

• 1:09:41Marcus Parks?

  Hasn't it been fun?

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  Cause it's nice to talk about topics freely, just a little bit, talking about some true crime, getting you in there, getting back up to speed, getting a little bit, cause we've been playing hardcore history for a while here, dog.

• 1:09:53Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, we have.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  And we really have been, so now it's good, we're gonna get back into some fucking blood and guts before we get back to some super dark history, because I do believe the next head on the Mount Rushmore of evil is not too far away.

• 1:10:05Marcus Parks?

  It's really not. It is not, it is not too far away at all, yeah. We were, we're gonna do, uh, Plan Right Now.

• 1:10:10Speaker 05

  Phoenix?

• 1:10:11Marcus Parks?

  Uh, Phoenix, the.

• 1:10:13Speaker 05

  You said it's not too far away.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  Don't talk to him.

• 1:10:17Speaker 05

  Phoenix's just a couple hours down the road.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Oh, Phoenix.

• 1:10:20Speaker 05

  By the time I get to Phoenix, we'll have the next head on the, uh, Mount Rushmore of evil.

• 1:10:24Marcus Parks?

  You know what's funny is that, I didn't think of the city, I thought of the mediocre, uh, musician from the two thousands.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  Oh, why?

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  That's not a band, that's a person?

• 1:10:34Marcus Parks?

  I think it's a person, I think it's just a guy.

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  I refuse.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  See, my brain thought of the guy that was Orion. There's nothing to do with anything.

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:10:42Marcus Parks?

  The musician?

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Fake Elvis.

• 1:10:44Marcus Parks?

  Wow.

• 1:10:47Marcus Parks?

  Great documentary. Thank you very much for joining us today, ladies and gentlemen. We also, we have after our, uh, next Zero Killer, we've got a, a good weirdo, a good con man from, uh, old times, who's gonna be a fucking, just strange journey, uh, and then, yes, the next head on the Mount Rushmore of evil. Uh, so thank you very much, patreon.com slash Last Podcast on the Left.

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  We gotta swerve for the fourth head, I'm really excited.

• 1:11:12Marcus Parks?

  We got a good swerve for the fourth head, we came up with it during break, get very, very excited about the swerve for the fourth head. Uh, patreon.com slash Last Podcast on the Left is, if you wanna go see our stream every Tuesday, Last Stream on the Left, uh, that plays live on Patreon, uh, every Tuesday at 5:00 PM PST, uh, and of course on YouTube afterwards, and check us out on the social medias, at LP on the Left, just to know what we're up to and what we're doing.

• 1:11:39Speaker 05

  And that's right, and this weekend, Henry and I are gonna be in Norfolk, Norfolk?

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Norfolk.

• 1:11:43Speaker 05

  Norfolk, Virginia, at the Addicts Theater in Raleigh, North Carolina. Tonight in Norfolk, and tomorrow in Raleigh, and then, and then the week after that, I'm in Milwaukee, and then we got all kinds of shit, then I'm in Denver personally, Henry and I are in Brooklyn at the Warsaw, which I can't fucking wait for.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Can't wait.

• 1:12:00Speaker 05

  Hartford, Connecticut, Henry and I are gonna go to Connecticut, we're gonna eat some goddamn pizza, Redway, California, uh, San Francisco, that's gonna be just me and Billy Wayne Davis and, uh, Holden McNeely, and, um, then we're gonna be in Portland, Maine, sold out. Portland, Maine loves us.

• 1:12:16Marcus Parks?

  Yes, dude, we had an amazing show in Portland, Maine a few years ago, it's a really cool town.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  It's a really beautiful town, we're gonna have fun.

• 1:12:22Speaker 05

  So if you can't get tickets to that, come see us in South Burlington, Vermont, that's on November 15th, Iowa City, Columbia, Missouri, and I got a whole bunch of more. Go to our website to find out where we're coming, or go to eddytunes.com if you wanna come see me do stand-up.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  All right, here's my announcement, pull money out of AI and put it into desalinization plants.

• 1:12:41Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Speaker 01

  We're gonna need some desalinization plants.

• 1:12:46Marcus Parks?

  It's a good idea, because the danger isn't that AI is going to kill us all, the danger is that the AI data centers are going to cake up all of the world's water, we're gonna die of dehydration and brain rot, because we're all gonna be too stupid to think of a solution.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  Just know that for a fact, that godlike AI in a box is not coming, the only thing that is coming is more climate devastation and lining the pockets of a bunch of evil, very evil, on the spectrum assholes.

• 1:13:16Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  From San Francisco.

• 1:13:17Marcus Parks?

  Yes, indeed, men who have come up with all of their ideas, living in polycools and doing a lot of ketamine.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Just remember, a lot of the stuff you hear about AI comes from ketamine.

• 1:13:28Marcus Parks?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  Like, it's not even from people, it is coming from the power of the, of the use of ketamine.

• 1:13:35Marcus Parks?

  Yes, and remember that many of the firms that are warning about the dangers of AI are supported and funded by the very same AI companies that these companies are, uh, purporting to, uh, say that they are extraordinarily dangerous, just look a little deeper.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Look a little deeper, they're gonna make a god in a box, they're gonna call the god in a box, and it's not gonna be that, they're just gonna call it that, and it's gonna look like that, it's Project Blue Beam, but for fucking AI, it's happening.

• 1:14:00Marcus Parks?

  I'd say just go read a book and, um, don't let the data center into your community.

• 1:14:05Speaker 05

  You don't need it at all.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 1:14:06Speaker 05

  We've lived an entire civilization without it.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Go, uh, go burn down your local data center.

• 1:14:11Marcus Parks?

  Well, that's, okay, satire, that's satire.

• 1:14:14Speaker 05

  Satire.

• 1:14:15Marcus Parks?

  That's satire.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Don't, don't do that.

• 1:14:17Speaker 05

  Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Don't.

• 1:14:19Speaker 05

  Don't do it. Give her the flock cameras, at least.

• 1:14:22Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, you can.

• 1:14:23Speaker 05

  Cut down a bunch of flock cameras.

• 1:14:24Marcus Parks?

  Yeah, it's also a part of it. Satire.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Cal State, everyone.

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