Ep 552 - The Biggest Pig (feat. Luis J. Gomez)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Luis @ https://gasdigitalnetwork.com/ Listen to Legion of Skanks, Luis & Zac Show, & Story Warz Go See Luis Live @ https://luisofskanks.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Hello everyone. Hope you're having a great week so far! Here's the cast. Matt's back from the D - Shangs back from across the pond. We got one of our best broz Louie J on. Hot cast. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup VERDANSK IS BACK. PLAY FREE. https://www.callofduty.com/warzone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt McCusker?

  The Wild Wild West.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  And hey, we're here live.

• 0:04Matt McCusker?

  Verdansk.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  We're starting now. Beginning of that didn't count. Verdansk.

• 0:09Matt McCusker?

  Verdansk returns. The box of rations.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  What an insane choice that was.

• 0:14Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Say that right away.

• 0:16Speaker 02

  It's pretty crazy.

• 0:18Matt McCusker?

  Verdansk. Where is Verdansk? Is that just a made up place in Call of Duty?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:22Matt McCusker?

  The original map.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  I think it's in the Ukraine. They're getting fucked up.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  Verdansk, Ukraine.

• 0:29Matt McCusker?

  Verdansk. I'm excited. I like, Call of Duty is important, man. Call of Duty is like a, it is for like dudes' well being. I feel like dudes need to play Call of Duty at nighttime now more than ever.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  I think, yeah.

• 0:40Matt McCusker?

  Men are lonely.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  It's actually the most stressful.

• 0:44Matt McCusker?

  Dejected right now.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  I got MLB to show going myself.

• 0:47Matt McCusker?

  You what?

• 0:47Speaker 01

  I got a career going. Road to the show. Baseball.

• 0:52Matt McCusker?

  What's going on with it?

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Taking Joey Weaver. He got drafted. I went to TCU, played it. They included college baseball in it for the beginning and that got me high school and college.

• 1:00Matt McCusker?

  You played high school.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  I played a little high school baseball.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  Wait, on a video game, you're playing as high schoolers?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Don't worry about it.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  There's nothing I can do. That's when the career starts. What do you want me to do?

• 1:08Speaker 02

  That should be illegal.

• 1:09Matt McCusker?

  And you were playing as a high schooler?

• 1:11Speaker 01

  You play as girls in Call of Duty, dude. Shut up.

• 1:13Matt McCusker?

  You play as girls?

• 1:14Speaker 02

  I'll be that chick. She's got like vitalego.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  That's a character you can choose as a black chick with vitalego.

• 1:19Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:22Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of a solid choice, honestly.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Vitalego, that's the skin, uh...

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, where she's like got natural camouflage. That's why I chose her.

• 1:28Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  The vitalego community might be the most overrepresented community in the world.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  It's a very small percentage of people.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Every fucking model I look at's got it. Every, you know what I mean? They're everywhere.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  I've never seen one of them in real life.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  I've seen a couple in real life.

• 1:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, take that back. I think there's that guy that hangs out at the bar by us. I saw vitalego, bro, walk in.

• 1:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would say there's definitely more. I feel like they're, they're outside, bro. There's more than you think.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  A lot of them wear makeup to hide it.

• 1:56Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  And now it's becoming a thing where they're like normalizing it and you're like, nah dude, where, get that makeup back.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  No, normalize it. It's nice.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Normalize it?

• 2:04Speaker 01

  I'm excited when I see. There was a, I talked about before, but there was some albino Indians that worked at the Sabaro's in my mall growing up.

• 2:11Matt McCusker?

  The original Aryans?

• 2:12Speaker 01

  And I was very excited to see them.

• 2:14Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Every time I go, holy hell.

• 2:17Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've nev- that's something I've never seen.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  The 90s, I was like, we don't have any differences in mechanicsburg.

• 2:23Matt McCusker?

  I didn't, I never even knew Indians could be albino.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  They were.

• 2:28Matt McCusker?

  Is it?

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Fucking alligators can be all, anybody can be albino.

• 2:33Matt McCusker?

  Bubble constrictors, Indians.

• 2:37Matt McCusker?

  That's a fair point. That's exciting. What was like, what was their vibe?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  They were great. They were running around.

• 2:42Matt McCusker?

  You have to be.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Family of the Sabaros and they were just, they were having a good time.

• 2:46Matt McCusker?

  And that's genetic. It was the fan, was like a portion of the family.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  A lot of the fam was albino. There's albino kids. And the wall, they were right next to the wall. In the food court, so they would just run over there.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Why did they immigrate to America? Do you think they're being worshiped too much?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  They were probably on one of those 900 foot towers that everyone in the village carries and drops. They keep dropping them. Here's the deal is they drop them every day.

• 3:11Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  In India, there's some ritual where they build like a giant tower. It's like a parade float and they carry it. And it collapses every time and everyone has to run. I've seen it. It's my algorithm is Indian towers collapsing.

• 3:26Matt McCusker?

  India's sick. India's getting like a lot of recognition right now on social media. Not a lot of it's great. I'll be honest. People are being pretty negative towards them.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  They were negative for a while. Now they're back.

• 3:34Matt McCusker?

  I think so. It's pretty.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  They survived it. India got canceled for like a month. And now they're back, dude. They're getting that bump.

• 3:42Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, fucking, uh, Ramaswamy's back. He's gonna be like the governor of Ohio, I think.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ramaswamy's giving it a shot.

• 3:48Matt McCusker?

  He bounced back. He was gonna be president, then he spas on Twitter. Now he's governor of Ohio. Not bad. Not bad. He'll, he's got a lot of time. Shoot for the moon. Yeah, exactly.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Where's Casey? End up in, oh, fucking Ohio.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Aim for the stars.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  And you'll land in Ohio. Well, it's good to be here with Louis J. Gomez.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Thanks, Shane. I missed you, buddy.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  I missed you too.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  It's been too long.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  It has.

• 4:10Matt McCusker?

  What you been up to?

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Me? Just working hard, man. Working hard. I told you guys, I applied for Beast Games.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Applying for Beast Games is.

• 4:17Matt McCusker?

  Applied for Beast Games?

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I applied for Beast Games.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  We need to move it up a little. He's got a, he's got a meeting this afternoon to apply for Beast Games.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  What the fuck? I don't know how much I'm allowed to say at this point.

• 4:27Matt McCusker?

  What are the challenges?

• 4:29Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  But again.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  They put me on the spot right now. They have a gun to my son's head. They're like, how much? $5,000. Let me pull the trigger.

• 4:36Matt McCusker?

  What's the layout of that show? I didn't. Got you yet.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  The first layout is, it was great. There's like, everyone's in the same room and they offer your row. Like you can eliminate your entire row and take the bribe, the money.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  But then everyone else in your row is eliminated and it gets up to like a hundred fifty thousand and people are like, no, I'm staying. I love you guys.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Got to a million.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  I love you. They did this the entire fucking time. The million thing made me want to kill myself.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  The million thing's crazy.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I think we talked about it.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  As soon as they hit a hundred thousand dollars, they're like, psh, goodbye.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  You, this is what I've been laughing about. I hope you get the show and you bail on five bucks. Eliminate a hundred people, go ten bucks.

• 5:11Matt McCusker?

  But what if they counter eliminate you? How does that work?

• 5:13Speaker 01

  You're out. You get nothing and you're done.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, you could walk out with nothing.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  No, it's a psychotic show.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  Ten million dollars was the grand prize on season one.

• 5:20Matt McCusker?

  But how do you get it though? I don't understand if everyone's.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Then there's a bunch of challenges, but the first thing to eliminate half the contestants was like people being greedy and taking it and eliminating everybody, but

• 5:31Speaker 01

  the whole time, everybody was going, I love you dude, I'll never, they just met.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Yeah dude, within the first hour, there's people crying, it's.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Everyone's crying.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  It's crazy. It's actually crazy.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Sacrificing themselves. They'll be like, I'll get eliminated for you dude, go win this, you need it.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  They don't know each other.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  They've never met. These are the most insane, you're gonna fit right in.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  It's gonna be non-stable.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  You're gonna fuck out of someone for taking the bribe. You're gonna fucking, you're gonna go insane. You cannot be on the show.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Did you see the one where they're in the cube? Did you watch the whole thing?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  I watched, hold on, was the cube where three people go in one asleep? The guy who didn't take a million got eliminated over like a sandwich.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  There's, so at one point, each group, there's like four groups of a hundred people maybe, they have to pick one person that they think is trustworthy, that won't take the bribe. Cause if you take the bribe, your entire team is eliminated and you get to stay. And a chance to win. So they, they have four, three or four people on this stage.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  On this big platform.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  They're offered a million dollars each.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  So it starts off as a hundred thousand dollars and then it's gonna keep, they go, it's just gonna keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take the, the, the money, your whole team gets eliminated like.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Which helps you.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Which, and then you stay in.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Which helps you get a chance to win.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  And it gets to a million dollars and all four leaders didn't take the million dollars.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  They're up there crying. Again, they're all doing this again.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  When did that become?

• 6:49Matt McCusker?

  Are the 99 people watching you?

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yes, they're all like, "Don't do it, please." And there's just guys up there like, "I love you guys so much, I would never do it."

• 6:56Matt McCusker?

  How did they pick the trustworthy people?

• 6:58Speaker 01

  They picked the most insane.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, they all vote who they think is the most trustworthy. I would, dude, that's my thing. I gotta get in. In the first couple of episodes, act like I'm a sweetheart.

• 7:07Matt McCusker?

  You gotta pick up like a $20 bill and like, "Someone drop this?"

• 7:11Speaker 01

  This isn't mine. Anyway, I'm just gonna leave it here. I would never do that.

• 7:14Matt McCusker?

  I don't even care about this stuff. That would be, standing in front of 99 people, you just like, A, kicked off a TV and B, like, just dashed their hopes of making millions of dollars would be a pretty interesting feeling.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:26Matt McCusker?

  Standing in front of them, they go.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  You, not doing it is the dumbest thing.

• 7:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, because at that point, it's supposed to be one person winning $5 million.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, the end result is everyone gets eliminated except one person.

• 7:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly. So who won? Who won the whole thing?

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I didn't finish it.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  You want me to give a spoiler?

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:45Matt McCusker?

  Is Beast's game still ongoing?

• 7:46Speaker 02

  No, the first season's done, but the guy who won his, uh, he was like, it's a really nice guy. His kid's got some disease, some like creatine deficiency disorder.

• 7:55Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  And he's like, dude, he's like, "I'm gonna use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease." You're like, "That's a good guy."

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  That guy should win the game. I'm gonna buy a jet and hookers. So I'm gonna spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk, and I'm gonna fly them in, yeah.

• 8:11Matt McCusker?

  Wait, the son can't like produce creatine?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  I guess it's something. I don't know.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Damn. He must not have gone to high school with me. All we did was creatine.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Shane, we just bullied this little kid.

• 8:21Matt McCusker?

  I really used to think creatine was steroids. I thought creatine was like an insane thing.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  I had no idea it was a natural thing in your body.

• 8:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like it's, apparently it's something you like kinda have to take, I've learned.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I take it.

• 8:31Matt McCusker?

  So do I.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  I don't know what it is.

• 8:32Matt McCusker?

  I can tell, I can tell you take it too, by the way.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  You can tell I'm getting all swollen.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  You did get a jet.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Full of water.

• 8:38Matt McCusker?

  See, you look like me, that's what I can tell you.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  I look like I'm fucking drowned.

• 8:43Matt McCusker?

  Damn, so he used the whole 10 mil?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  You're taking creative?

• 8:45Matt McCusker?

  I'm taking creative.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  God damn, man.

• 8:47Matt McCusker?

  Taking so much. I've been taking it every day. Yeah, I like it.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  You're all over it. That's good. Hey, Matt, this episode is brought to you by PrizePix. I'm pumped for opening day. It's good to see some Phillies baseball again. Hopefully, our bullpen improves with Jesus Lizardo.

• 9:02Matt McCusker?

  Speaking of pitching for the Phillies, what was throwing out the first pitch like?

• 9:06Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what, I was probably more nervous about that than hosting SNL. I just didn't want to end up like 50 cent.

• 9:14Matt McCusker?

  And get shot nine times or what happened?

• 9:17Speaker 01

  If I had to do it again, I'd take myself more than one nervous breakdown throwing out the first pitch. Citizens Bank Park, baby. Book it.

• 9:25Matt McCusker?

  Wow, that dude. This week on PrizePix, I'm going with, I think I want to go with the, hmm, Orlando Magic.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  You gotta pick an individual.

• 9:40Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go, let's go Bryce Harper.

• 9:44Matt McCusker?

  There we go.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  More.

• 9:46Matt McCusker?

  More. I was, I'm trying to figure out, who's a good player from the Orlando Magic? I was gonna start broad and narrow down.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Victor Oladipo.

• 9:52Matt McCusker?

  Victor Oladipo, less.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Penny Hardaway. More.

• 9:56Matt McCusker?

  Shaq.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  All right, you heard our picks. Now it's time to lock yours in with PrizePix. I'm telling you, these guys are legit. I love PrizePix. I've been messing around on the app. And it's super simple. You just pick more or less on two or more players for your shot to win up to a thousand times your cash.

• 10:13Matt McCusker?

  I've been messing around that app big time.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:14Matt McCusker?

  You can talk to guys on that app.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Really?

• 10:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  I've been talking to guys. You can talk to, you cannot talk to the other guys.

• 10:22Matt McCusker?

  You cannot talk to guys.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Unfortunately, but that is, that is not part of the ad? That's something me and Matt are considering pitching to PrizePix. Let us talk amongst each other.

• 10:30Matt McCusker?

  That'd be fun.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Nice to chat with guys.

• 10:32Matt McCusker?

  Chat, meet up. On PrizePix, you can mix, did you already do this one?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  No, you got it.

• 10:36Matt McCusker?

  On PrizePix, you can mix and match player projections from different sports, combine your favorite basketball players with players from baseball, hockey, esports, and much more. PrizePix is the best place to win cash while watching sports. Join over 10 million users and sign up today. Download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. PrizePix, run your game.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Run your game.

• 11:01Matt McCusker?

  Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  It's time to run your game.

• 11:09Matt McCusker?

  Me and Louis are stacking right now. We're T maxing.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  You guys are fucking jacked.

• 11:12Matt McCusker?

  No, we're T maxing right now. We're both trying to do endogenous T maxers.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 11:16Matt McCusker?

  Just boost your T with like adaptogens.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, natural shit.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  What's an adaptogen?

• 11:20Matt McCusker?

  It's like an herb, anything like, anything a natural substance. Basically, adaptogens is like a word for an herb.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Your body, your body adapts to the.

• 11:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it just gins it up.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:28Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, dude, I've been taking maca.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  I know about the maca.

• 11:32Matt McCusker?

  Maka, shilajit.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  I've been waiting to go on some shilajit.

• 11:35Matt McCusker?

  And moringa.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  And moringa?

• 11:37Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I woke up this morning.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  With a boner.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  What are you doing with moringa?

• 11:44Matt McCusker?

  It's my third day on and I woke up for real like afflicted, just kinda like, Jesus.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I don't know, I didn't take anything in the whole, I flew home from London, I was hard for 11, 11 hour flight. I had a boner the whole fucking flight.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  You didn't go rub one out?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  It was cra- I considered it.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  You had a private jet?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  No, I, I wasn't on a private jet.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  I was just, but I jerk off on almost, almost every flight I'm on. Whatever it is with my, with the way I said I have fat thighs, so it just feels like my dick is inside of something and I just get turned on by sitting for that long. And I go get one out. I shoot it right into the sink.

• 12:15Matt McCusker?

  The sink?

• 12:15Speaker 02

  The sink. I'll usually wind up with paper towels and then I, you know.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  The sink is diabolical.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 12:22Matt McCusker?

  No, look, I've been there with you before, brother. I'm saying hit the toilet or like a napkin or something. The sink is crazy.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  No, I put napkin.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  You're jacked off on flights?

• 12:28Matt McCusker?

  I've jacked off, I've jacked off flights. Sometimes like you're saying, I've had that like crazy flight boner attack.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  This is the closest I've considered and it was 11 hours, bro. I would take a nap, I'd wake up, it'd be harder, it'd be.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  11 hours, I would have jacked off five times on that flight.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  It was close.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  In your mind?

• 12:44Speaker 01

  It was close.

• 12:45Matt McCusker?

  On a flight, I will say, you're.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  It's a quick one.

• 12:48Matt McCusker?

  Fast one, bro.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Quick one, yeah, you shoot it. And also my head hurts immediately for some reason.

• 12:53Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 12:53Speaker 02

  I get like a really nasty headache after I come on a flight.

• 12:58Matt McCusker?

  It's probably because of all like the pills you took to get like super hard like stim. It's probably like a stim fat thing.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 13:04Matt McCusker?

  Taking like fucking Molly and.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  No, I don't take drugs anymore. I stopped smoking weed five months ago.

• 13:10Matt McCusker?

  Are you totally straight edge?

• 13:12Speaker 02

  No, I drank here. I shouldn't have, but now I'm back to not drinking again. This was a lot.

• 13:16Matt McCusker?

  What was the thing that sparked this? What sparked your like?

• 13:19Speaker 02

  I wanted to raise my T.

• 13:20Matt McCusker?

  But what like, what brought it to your attention?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  My doctor saying I had the T of a young lady.

• 13:25Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 13:26Speaker 02

  He was like, are you a 12 year old girl?

• 13:28Speaker 01

  I've ever talked to is like, yeah, I have no testosterone.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  I was 339 was my testosterone number. I don't even know what that means.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  I'm telling you, whoever the big T salesman are.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  It was Joe Rogan.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  They're making fucking money. I've never talked to one guy that's gotten his T check that isn't like.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  Dude, I was talking about this on the podcast.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  That's why I'm tired all the time. It's like, no, you're just getting old. You're fucking tired.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  I was talking about on the podcast and Tony Hinchcliffe was like, he's like, I'm gonna set you up with my T guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony. I'm not taking your testosterone.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 14:03Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  What do you know about Quince?

• 14:05Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cotton, like regular materials. Not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a big fan.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Well, not everyone wants to spend forever on the perfect look. Quince gets that. It's why they make staple pieces for your wardrobe that go with pretty much anything, Matt. They're, uh, they're really easy to style and they feel great to wear because they're also made with premium materials. Including, like you said, organic cotton, merino wool. There's even a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just $60. That's, I mean, talk about a deal.

• 14:41Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  That's a bargain.

• 14:42Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm gonna give it to you.

• 15:14Matt McCusker?

  What are your plans though? What are you, what are you trying to get your T up to?

• 15:17Speaker 01

  You want to be more aggressive.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  I want to, I want to, I want to be more horny. I want to jerk off more.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  You're the horniest, angriest guy I've ever met. You have too much T.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  No, I don't.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  The doctor was lying dude. I've never met someone with more T.

• 15:29Matt McCusker?

  You're high T for sure.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Screaming and coming constantly. That's all you do. That's all you do.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Chill out with the T.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  It's all you do. If there was a mucinex commercial for T, you'd be the mucinex guy.

• 15:42Matt McCusker?

  I would not have you pegged for low T. Are you, are you, do you like, you know all this stuff?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Not low. It was, it was, uh, so for my, I'm turning 43 next week. It was the lower, uh, lower end of average for my age.

• 15:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but did you like sleep bad that night before? I know that stuff affects it.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Maybe. I don't know. I mean, it was, you know.

• 15:59Matt McCusker?

  Well, it can't hurt you if you're just taking like Maccas.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  I'm taking, I'm taking Tonga Ali. That's my.

• 16:03Matt McCusker?

  Tonga Ali is nice too.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. That's my shit.

• 16:05Matt McCusker?

  How did, did it work on you?

• 16:07Speaker 02

  I think so. I'm getting my T tested on April 3rd. So we'll see if I've raised my testosterone levels.

• 16:12Matt McCusker?

  Nice. I feel like nobody ever thought about this stuff ever before.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  No, for sure.

• 16:16Matt McCusker?

  People were mostly fine.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:18Matt McCusker?

  You know what I mean?

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Like, it was too much information. We know too much. We were, we were all good. But before we had social media and we can communicate, you used to be able to talk to six people. Nobody was comparing T. Nobody was talking about any of this stuff.

• 16:29Matt McCusker?

  It was. I didn't even know like, and also I think it's a kind of a gift from God that it drops off as you get older. That's the last thing you need.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:36Matt McCusker?

  Is to have like high T and be like fucking 50. It's just like you're setting yourself up for the most potent disaster ever.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  The thing with it, it's like, I think it's the, the Manosphere podcast have really fucked a lot of people up.

• 16:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  But it, it all does stem from Rogan. But he was being original.

• 16:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? He's just like, now be, those were his interests and he got so popular that it's every dude in America's fucking interest.

• 17:03Matt McCusker?

  That's a fair point.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Is like, I love jujitsu, T.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Space.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Space is fucking nuts.

• 17:09Matt McCusker?

  Well, I've been on a space train since a young man. I've, I used to read astronomy. Yeah, I used to, astronomy. Astronomy. I used to read astronomy all the time.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Dude, space, animals, uh, animals attacking you, animals attacking each other.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  I've been on animals attacking you since I was a young lad, dude.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Animals do rule.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Animals rock.

• 17:26Matt McCusker?

  I will say the T is nice for end of life. If you want to, I, I really want to save it till I'm like, I want to really feel a dip to like the lowest possible. Pretty much borderline trans. And then just like a phoenix out of the ashes.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:40Matt McCusker?

  Just be sitting there one day being like

• 17:43Matt McCusker?

  and just like it's time and just fucking just take so much tea and.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  No, I'm not injecting anything into my body. I wouldn't, I wouldn't inject. I'm not gonna put a needle into my body.

• 17:53Matt McCusker?

  You have to. The pills are gonna fry your liver.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  No, I don't take pills. I take a little powder.

• 17:57Matt McCusker?

  You do a little patch?

• 17:58Speaker 02

  A little, little powder.

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  A little rhino horn?

• 18:03Matt McCusker?

  So if they made, if they made a snortable tea, I would do it actually.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a more fun way to do it.

• 18:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that would be, that would just be boss.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  You could probably snort creatine. I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way. I'll, I'll do a line of creatine with you right now.

• 18:15Matt McCusker?

  P, I think more, more people have snorted creatine than they realize. That's a common cut for cocaine.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Really?

• 18:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah. Creatine is like, have you seen, yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Creatine drip?

• 18:25Matt McCusker?

  A lot of people have snorted creatine without realizing.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Get the creatine. Get the creatine out right now. It's bump lines of creatine right now on the show. What a fun, what a fun bit.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  I bet Call of Duty would love that. You can just do lines off that fucking load box or whatever that shit is.

• 18:45Matt McCusker?

  That's what it's for.

• 18:48Matt McCusker?

  Pumping creatine off it would be kind of nasty.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  We got a fucking Call of Duty sponsor, baby. We did it.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Fucking tea dosage, bro.

• 19:05Matt McCusker?

  A little bump.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, Shane, you got high tea.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  No, I don't think I do.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, you do.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Super high.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  You haven't had it tested?

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Fuck no.

• 19:10Matt McCusker?

  That's, that's a sign of high tea.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, I know. I don't need to have some pussy doctor tell me what my number is.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  I've also, I've, I've been doing my best to stop being a crybaby.

• 19:19Matt McCusker?

  What do you mean?

• 19:20Speaker 01

  I've always, I mean, we always talk about it, but I was just, you get done with a long weekend. Like I was in the UK. I was fucking totally exhausted. I came back home and I was like.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Fuck am I doing again, dude? Obviously, I'm just hungover, so I'm sad, but it's like.

• 19:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Cut it out.

• 19:36Matt McCusker?

  Although with high T comes high estrogen, because they do kind of couple.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 19:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, if you have high T, you usually have high estrogen as well.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:43Matt McCusker?

  Because you have, your body has to, that's why steroid, like bodybuilders, they take estrogen blockers, these are estrogen raises with the T.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Is that why they get titties?

• 19:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, maybe, could be. Could be, or maybe they're just in the gym working on it, maybe they just worked hard and finally got the results.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  They got big tits.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Rockin tits.

• 20:00Matt McCusker?

  I'd be in the gym like crazy if I could get woman's tits on my body naturally.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  You can. Dude, you ever see those like jacked fucking, they have.

• 20:06Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  It's funny, sometimes, yeah, I'll see a dude in a movie like, that's supposed to be like a jacked ripped guy, and he is, it's just because his pecs are gigantic. But just a smooth set of woman's tits.

• 20:16Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Small nipples?

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, tiny nipples, ooh.

• 20:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude's nipples poking out of their shirt is for real, like the opposite effect. If I see a dude's nipples out of their shirt, I'm like, bro.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  A woman is like, this is, what have I done?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  If I see hard nipples on a guy.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  I mean, these dry fit fucking polos, just nipples, it's a nipple show.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:38Matt McCusker?

  Your nipples aren't poking out?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Not right now, but I'll get them going.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  If you're to broaden that.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  That A C kicks on.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Do you ever run, you ever run in the cold and like, your shirt rubs against your nipples, your nipples get all chafed?

• 20:49Matt McCusker?

  That hurts.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  It hurts like hell.

• 20:50Matt McCusker?

  I get that normally, if I wear like the wrong, if I got a shirt with like a patched on logo, my nipples get, or a dress shirt.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  You have giant nipples.

• 20:57Matt McCusker?

  You think I have giant nipples?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  No, I don't.

• 21:01Matt McCusker?

  My nipples are.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  You have perfectly normal nipples.

• 21:04Matt McCusker?

  They're perfectly normal, dude.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Why you put that on someone? We have like.

• 21:09Matt McCusker?

  I instantly believed it, I was like, I guess I do.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  No, you have great nipples.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  I have beautiful nipples.

• 21:13Matt McCusker?

  You have big nipples?

• 21:14Speaker 02

  No, I have nice little, little Puerto Rican nipples.

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  Do you really?

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Little fucking brown, little brown pepperonis.

• 21:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  You've been sending me some shirtless pics.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  I have sent Shane some shirtless pics.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Every time he makes progress in the gym, I think it's just for me.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  I think you go to the gym to be like Shane, check what I've, check what I've done to my body.

• 21:30Matt McCusker?

  Are you doing post, immediate post pump picture?

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's the best.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  I do it in the, dude, I get in the steam room, I come out, I have a glistening glaze on my body.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  And I send it to Shane, I'm like, look at this, bro.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  This is nothing, Sam Hyde has been sending me nothing but pictures and FaceTimes from when he's in the sauna. And he puts the phone at his feet and goes. It's the fucking scariest.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Dude, I wish I had that confidence, because Sam Hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible. I'm like, he just has whatever it is, like, the way he's wired, he's like, no, I'm gonna look at like, the biggest fucking ugly freak.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  He faces me from the sauna and every time, I'm like, dude.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:10Matt McCusker?

  He's high T, for sure.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Oh, he's super high T.

• 22:12Matt McCusker?

  That's like, yeah, that's a problem.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:14Matt McCusker?

  Super high T.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Too much.

• 22:16Matt McCusker?

  Super high T.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  There's no way you're low T. Go back and fight the doctors.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna go back.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  That's the proof of high T.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I tried to get him to put me on testosterone, he was like, no, it's not even like a scam, like, where he was trying to get me to like, he was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day. He was like, stop doing that.

• 22:31Matt McCusker?

  That's a long sell.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Getting rid of smoking and drinking is low T.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  That's a low T activity.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  That's literally a girl decision.

• 22:40Matt McCusker?

  You drink too much.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  You gotta shut up, bitch.

• 22:43Matt McCusker?

  That's the low, that's the slow sell too, to be like, dude, I'm on your side. He's gonna do the same test. He's gonna print like a fucking like furniture fax office printer, like, oh yeah, dude, you actually dropped, that's crazy, you're fucked.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  He's like on the semen scale.

• 23:00Matt McCusker?

  But that's cool.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:01Matt McCusker?

  That'd be fun. It is cool to look forward to. I say it all the time, man. If like, if you get older, you can just smash the T button and go nuts. Just go, yo, do double, whatever they say, just go, I'll double that up.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Double that up, see what the fuck happens.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  I watched a video, because they were like, dudes are taking, I watched this last night, they're saying a lot of dudes are finding out theirs are average and taking it, and they're like, you, it's only for people who are very low.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I think it's really, if you're high T, taking more T doesn't really bring your T up, right?

• 23:26Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Neither do I.

• 23:28Matt McCusker?

  Also, there's a question of absorbing it. You could put it in there, you might not be able to absorb it. So, whatever. That'd be cool. I think it'll be, a lot of it too, would just be nice. If I'm getting injected by anything by a doctor, I'm gonna be like, oh, fuck yeah.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:40Matt McCusker?

  Hell yeah.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  You'd like it.

• 23:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would like that.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  I hate it. I hate taking blood. I hate taking needles.

• 23:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm not a big fan, actually.

• 23:48Speaker 01

  Can't do it.

• 23:50Matt McCusker?

  This'll be like a needle in your butt, I'm pretty sure.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Okay, I could do that.

• 23:53Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm not trying to be like, you're making it hot.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:55Matt McCusker?

  Put a, you put a needle in your butt cheek. So.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  I'm very self-conscious about my ass, so it's kind of flabby.

• 24:01Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 24:02Speaker 02

  The doctor's gonna do it.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  You got a flabby ass?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  My butt sucks.

• 24:05Matt McCusker?

  Are you serious?

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Dude, my butt.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  This is also another female psy op, dude. Men should not have fucking sculpted.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  No, I should have a nice, I bet, dude, I bet Matt's ass is a fucking thing of beauty.

• 24:15Matt McCusker?

  I got a peach, I gotta get a little peach.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Matt doesn't have a dong. I admired Matt's dong several times.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Matt's ass must be.

• 24:23Matt McCusker?

  Tight little peach.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  I was watching him run up his steps.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  On a shelf.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  He does have a nice dong.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  I was watching White Lotus and the guy comes in and fucks a lady, he has a giant sculpted ass, I was like ew.

• 24:35Matt McCusker?

  Who, the Schwarzenegger?

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Uh, no, the guy, uh, when she fucks one of the Russian guys.

• 24:40Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Crawls in out there and he had a fucking jacked ass and I was sitting here by myself and I was like ew. What the fuck is that, dude? It's the guy's butt, I'd rather see his dong.

• 24:50Matt McCusker?

  You're on a flight from London, you're like, Jesus Christ.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Not now.

• 24:54Matt McCusker?

  Will it ever end?

• 24:56Speaker 01

  The donor is not gonna live.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  Did you, did you watch that episode?

• 25:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm caught up.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  It's the funniest thing possible.

• 25:03Matt McCusker?

  Unbelievable.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Schwarzenegger kid, there was a clip recently I saw online of him like finding out he was in White Lotus.

• 25:09Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  With his family and he like crying and be like, yes.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Oh no, he's also at a White Lotus style resort.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  He was.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  His rich family is at like a beautiful resort.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  No, they were.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I thought it was on set.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's funny.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  But then you get the script and you go.

• 25:25Matt McCusker?

  I mean, what else is.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Wait, hold on a second.

• 25:26Matt McCusker?

  What is he, I know dude, you're gonna jerk your brother off. Although dude, I will say, he's been, I'm so impressed by him. His acting is unbelievable.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  No, he's really good.

• 25:35Matt McCusker?

  He's unbelievable.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  This season's great, it just is, I mean, the first four episodes blew, but now we're fucking getting to it.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Now we're cooking.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Now we're cooking, episode five, episode six.

• 25:42Matt McCusker?

  I've been locked in.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  It's really just brothers jerking each other off, now I'm completely engaged.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  The funniest thing possible.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  It's hilarious.

• 25:47Matt McCusker?

  It's unbelievable.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  They kissed and I was like, that's not that bad, guys.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Bro, if his dad would have blown his head off, that would have been the funniest day ever.

• 25:53Matt McCusker?

  That's.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  You got jacked off by your brother, came home and your dad blew his head off.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  You always think it's because he knew.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  You go, what the fuck?

• 26:01Speaker 02

  This is definitely my fault.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, yeah.

• 26:03Matt McCusker?

  It's also so sick being like, yeah, we blacked out, I don't remember anything and just carrying the memory the entire time of being like, when the girls confront him and he's just like, that didn't happen, like, no, I watched it and he's like, can we just stop talking about this right now?

• 26:16Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I don't know, you have to kill yourself, that whole family might. Suicide.

• 26:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  My mom was talking about it. She was like, I can't live any other way. I'd kill myself.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, she might be the best character on the show.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  She's hilarious.

• 26:28Matt McCusker?

  Unbelievable.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, Parker Posey, she's fucking hilarious.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  I got a theory of what's gonna happen.

• 26:32Matt McCusker?

  Do you really?

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Cause the shooting-

• 26:33Speaker 02

  I heard a good theory too from-

• 26:34Speaker 01

  It's gonna be Goggins and the Bulldogger go to try to fuck with that guy, the guy they've been trying to fuck with.

• 26:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  Uh, and then there's gonna be a shooting at the place and I think that sweet guard is gonna be the one.

• 26:47Matt McCusker?

  To set it-

• 26:47Speaker 01

  I think he's gonna get popped trying to protect his babe.

• 26:50Matt McCusker?

  I had the, I, my theory right now is the younger brother, or the older brother wants to keep that rumor at bay, cause those two girls know, so he might wanna fucking light them up.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Murder these fucking sluts.

• 27:01Matt McCusker?

  I think so.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  That's a fair one.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  I heard a really good theory from one of my producers. They think a monkey gets a hold of the gun, cause they keep on showing monkeys.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  I had a feeling, somebody from Legion of Skanks was gonna come up with the dumbest-

• 27:16Matt McCusker?

  Could be, could be multiple shooters. It could be-

• 27:18Speaker 02

  I don't know dude.

• 27:19Matt McCusker?

  He brings his gun back from Bangkok and then he hears maybe a suicide shot go off. He thinking it's the other guy and he fires. There could be multiple gunmen all firing at each other.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  You don't think it could be monkeys?

• 27:30Speaker 01

  I hope it's monkeys.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  I hope it's monkeys.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  It'd be the funniest thing possible.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Like one of those little fucking capuchin monkeys.

• 27:36Matt McCusker?

  That would be, yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  If we just got to watch a family fall apart and then get killed by a monkey, that'd be great.

• 27:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that would be-

• 27:43Speaker 01

  That'd be, you got jerked off by your brother and then a monkey shot you.

• 27:47Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Uh, but I can get past being jerked off by my brother if we were both blacked out on drugs.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  No chance.

• 27:52Matt McCusker?

  But you, he remembered.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  It's the drugs. It's not you. It's like you guys chose to do it.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  No way. Never, ever.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother.

• 28:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Do you have a sister?

• 28:02Speaker 02

  I have a sister.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Can you imagine doing drugs and her jerking you off?

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  I would kill myself.

• 28:07Matt McCusker?

  That's different, but still fucked up. Your brother jerking you off? I mean, it's not ideal, obviously.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  I don't have a brother, I can't.

• 28:14Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, I like was watching it-

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Sisters, it's all hell.

• 28:17Matt McCusker?

  It's hell, for sure. But dude, having a brother, it's crazy.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  You and Baby Billy.

• 28:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's crazy. It's so, I was sitting there with, uh, whereas I was watching it last night with Brittany and she was like, I was like, dude, he's like visibly sick. And she's like, you think you would get sick from that? I thought about it, immediately felt sick. And I was like, yeah, I guess so. I was like, yeah, that made my, it turned my stomach immediately.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:37Matt McCusker?

  Who's your brother, Fabby?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  It would suck if it was one of your boys.

• 28:42Matt McCusker?

  Uh, yeah, exactly.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  But you know, if like you and me did something and I, you know, you ended up-

• 28:47Matt McCusker?

  I feel like our situation would be different. Our situation would be different.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  If we like kissed, just to make it a funny joke and then you ended up stroking me, that'd be fucking hilarious, crazy.

• 28:56Matt McCusker?

  Our situation would be different.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, our situation, we'd have a different sitch.

• 29:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that'd be different. He was his brother, to be fair, to your point Louis, his brother was plowing. So there was a woman involved. So.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  It's just the South Park episode with the aliens. Did you see that one where they're like, oh god, you suck in my thing, with like the Jewish aliens?

• 29:18Matt McCusker?

  No, I didn't see that.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  It's great. Turns out Earth is a reality show and these aliens are coming to cancel it, which is just, they're gonna blow up Earth and then the boys go and hang out with them and they start doing blow and they fucking suck each other. Anyway, that's what it reminds me of, just to hang over the next day being like, oh my god, what'd we do there?

• 29:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you do have to bury it and move on, like that was, you could, you could file that under like, that was a truly wild night.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was just drugs. I don't know, if it was like, if they're completely sober, I would understand like wanting to fucking kill yourself and like.

• 29:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  But it's like, you know, people do crazy shit on drugs.

• 29:51Matt McCusker?

  That's true. And it's, you know, the problem is, this is the thing I was wondering about. Is it like something where he's like dying to relive it? That could be part of his revulsion. Cause they were like, kind of like, he was like showing his brother's ass and jerking off in the back.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  A lot of weird like incestual shit, even like the Arnold Schwarzenegger son, like with the, the sister. He was like, is she a virgin? I was like, she's hot. Like, why is she not like that? It's like, so weird, it was a weird sort of conversation.

• 30:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  And then the younger, the younger brother and the younger, the sister sort of have like a little bit of like, they're a little too close.

• 30:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Well, the, the older brother is like just a sexual pig and then it's just coming full circle, like the thing that he prizes the most.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  The older brother rules.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  That's all we've been talking, the whole weekend, that's all we've been talking about. Cause DeRosa is just calling people pigs and it's the funniest.

• 30:37Matt McCusker?

  The best.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  We had the pig rankings of all of our friends, who's the top pig?

• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Who's the top pig?

• 30:42Speaker 01

  I can't say it here.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  You say it.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  I'll tell you later. It was the funniest.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Give me the first initial, the first name.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Nope. But it was funny to, cause he'd be furious.

• 30:50Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 30:51Speaker 01

  The top pig?

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Who cares? That's a compliment. I'm hoping it's me.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  I think if you just do, I don't know.

• 30:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I could, I could guess.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  How do you define a pig?

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Just pig behavior, dude.

• 31:05Matt McCusker?

  Just the trowel, you put out the, you put out the fucking slop in the trowel and they're fucking.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  Drink, drugs, women.

• 31:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:12Matt McCusker?

  The most viceroy man.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  Maybe you.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  I'm up there, I'm a good pig. That's why I assembled, I just, on this trip, I took Connor and DeRosa.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  I needed the pigs to ride and I'm not gonna go to the UK and fucking not be pigs.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  You know, pigs choose a best friend. I saw this on my.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  That's very nice.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  Instagram algorithm.

• 31:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  They choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them.

• 31:33Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:35Matt McCusker?

  They are super smart.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:36Matt McCusker?

  I feel bad about eating bacon. Every time I see those like pig pet Instagram videos, I'm like, fuck, that is kind of like eating a dog.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  They're great guys.

• 31:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're awesome. I had, we had a pig when I was growing up. We had a little pig kicking around.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  What'd you do to it?

• 31:48Matt McCusker?

  Just chilled. It, it was actually, they're very sexual, by the way. It used to hump, we had like an exercise ball. Yeah, dude. We had an exercise ball, we threw it in the pen and it just like, for real, in front of all of us, just humped it and jizzed all over it. And we were all like, damn.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Dogs are like, do, dogs are the same, they're just very like, it's almost like, aren't you embarrassed? Like a dog would just fucking hump your leg and come.

• 32:11Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  You jack off on airplanes.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones were like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family, just coming on the couch.

• 32:19Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, that's exactly what you would do on an airplane with no societal training. If you saw like a hot flight attendant, you would just go up to her and just start being like, no, all right, fucking. Okay, and just walk back, maybe be like, rrr.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 32:35Matt McCusker?

  And they just like fight, you just fight your dad on the plane. Go sleep by yourself in the corner.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, dogs do growl a little bit when they fuck.

• 32:43Matt McCusker?

  Do they really?

• 32:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, they bite the back of the other dog's neck.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  Look, dogs can be hot.

• 32:50Matt McCusker?

  Little shay shay.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Shannon Sharpe.

• 32:55Matt McCusker?

  How was the UK?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  It was awesome.

• 32:57Matt McCusker?

  It was nice?

• 32:57Speaker 01

  It was nice. Uh, yeah, it was fucking great, but we went to the UFC fight on Saturday.

• 33:03Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know there was one out there.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was in the same, I was doing the same room the next night. It was great. But I was, we were sitting there and I was, we were up close. My, the chair next to me had Jared Leto on it. And I was waiting the whole time. I was like, damn, Jared Leto is about to sit next to me. This is gonna be crazy. I'm gonna fucking, uh, talk to him about Thin Red Line. He just never showed up. I was like, fuck. But it was nice. A guy from Philly beat the fuck out of Leon Edwards.

• 33:26Matt McCusker?

  That's sick.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Sean Brady and the entire, anytime he had him ground and pound, cause the whole, it was in London, so everyone's cheering for Leon. Anytime, the whole time it was ground and pound and Brady was just fucking destroying him. And I was just sitting there going, go Birds! Go Birds! They, I haven't watched it back, but I, you have to be able to hear it.

• 33:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  And then after he won, he was like, alright, thank you guys so much. Go Birds!

• 33:51Speaker 01

  And then they played Meek Mill. It was just the nicest moment.

• 33:54Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:55Matt McCusker?

  He beat Leon Edwards' ass?

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Fucked him up.

• 33:58Matt McCusker?

  Dang!

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was crazy. I got to meet Louis Theroux. He was with us.

• 34:02Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:04Matt McCusker?

  That dude rules.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, he ruled.

• 34:05Matt McCusker?

  Might be one of the best investigative

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:08Matt McCusker?

  documentarians were ever, ever.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's the fucking man.

• 34:11Matt McCusker?

  Ever to motherfucking do it. Damn, that's, I, what the fuck was that?

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Noel Gallagher came and hung out at the London show from Oasis.

• 34:17Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's the fucking man. Yeah, it was, it was crazy.

• 34:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've, I've, apparently, uh, there's a lot of like drama with that whole band. I didn't know.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Oasis?

• 34:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, apparently, I, I could be wrong, but I remember watching something on it.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Been together in 16 years.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that story might be more famous than any song they ever made.

• 34:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other.

• 34:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, some bullshit.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  They gotta watch fucking White Lotus.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  Maybe Liam jerked him off and then caused a rift in the family.

• 34:45Matt McCusker?

  I mean, yeah. Would you like a wank?

• 34:48Speaker 01

  How about I do that on stage? That's funny. Cause I was talking about jacking off and I was like, oh yeah, you go, how about having a wank? It was nice.

• 34:56Matt McCusker?

  That is the funniest way to say.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  Dublin, uh, I was talking about black people in Dublin booed.

• 35:02Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 35:03Speaker 01

  It was so funny.

• 35:05Matt McCusker?

  When's Conor McGregor gonna become the president of Ireland?

• 35:08Speaker 01

  They hated him.

• 35:08Matt McCusker?

  Did they?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  I was shocked how much they hated him.

• 35:11Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:12Matt McCusker?

  Piece of shit.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  He's one of the top pigs. He's one of the top pigs all time.

• 35:16Matt McCusker?

  He's a huge pig.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  He's one of the all time pigs.

• 35:18Matt McCusker?

  Oh yeah, dude. Dude, rape is a very big, it's one of the biggest. And he got for sure busted.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  I thought, see, I thought it was allegations until the people that were in Dublin were pretty confident.

• 35:32Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  I think he lost and.

• 35:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I heard he lost the case. Damn.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  And then he like punched some old guy at a bar one time. Dude, if you just like, if you.

• 35:43Matt McCusker?

  He for real pigged, like he did pig out.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  Beating up old people, pig behavior.

• 35:49Matt McCusker?

  He like morphed his entire physical.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:52Matt McCusker?

  His being just morphed in like a year from pigging out.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  But also, like if an old guy's talking shit to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him? There's a moment where you're like, yo, fuck this dude. I'm gonna just beat this old guy's ass.

• 36:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'll be honest. I wouldn't mind whooping the hell out of an old man every now and again. I'll be honest, bro.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Just his bones are breaking. They're all brittle.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, yeah, you can only take so much. But I mean, as a UFC fighter.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:18Matt McCusker?

  You can't beat up an old man.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy, he was like hammering on coke. He tried to buy him a drink. The old guy was like, I don't want a drink. And he was just offended that he wouldn't take his drink. So then he punched him.

• 36:29Matt McCusker?

  That's.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  It was his own whiskey. Oh, people hate his whiskey.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  He's trying proper 12. The guy was like, fuck that.

• 36:36Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's, that's, that's setting yourself up for his people. If you, if you're like a rich guy who's starting a whiskey company in Ireland, ever, everyone there is like, I don't want your fucking whiskeys. Terrible piss getting out of them. That's just a recipe for a giant Irish spaz. The worst whiskey I've ever had in my life. Don't talk about me whiskey. How dare you talk about me whiskey?

• 37:00Speaker 01

  No, Ireland, I mean, every, every place over there, London's fucking great.

• 37:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Dublin rules. Uh, yeah, it was awesome.

• 37:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I just, I can't get over they, everyone, American outlets should be universal.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Everything over there, every other country on earth does suck. And going to it, it's fun while you're there, but then just little things that are different for no reason. They, the water, they never give you water. You can't get water. They, there's no ice for some reason.

• 37:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's fucked up.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Ice is a delicacy there. They literally wait, I got, the hotel room service knocked on my door.

• 37:36Matt McCusker?

  Hmm.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  And I was like, what's up? And they're like, ice? It was just a fucking tray of ice. I was like, no, bro, are you serious? What the fuck's going on?

• 37:44Matt McCusker?

  Why are they so anti-ice over there?

• 37:45Speaker 01

  They hate ice and they hate air conditioning.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  I would say ice is a low-T thing, though.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  I said no.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  But where is it? You should have it.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  You should have room temperature water. Room temperature water.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Love room temperature water.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  That's what I drink.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  See my brother up there? Sitting out. Love room temp.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  It's my favorite thing.

• 38:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm big room temp water, but if a country is being like, we don't really do ice, I'm gonna be like, that's fucked up.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's stupid.

• 38:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, bring some ice up.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Air conditioning, they despise.

• 38:10Matt McCusker?

  That's weird.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's, uh, the light switches. Nothing makes sense.

• 38:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they have like, what do they have, like, turny dials and sideways light switches? Yeah, they need to, they need to put their pride aside and realize America figured it out.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, we have, we have the best plugs.

• 38:26Matt McCusker?

  Best plugs, no doubt.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Plugs rule.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Bro, their plugs have like voltage limits on them.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  You can't plug in, it's out of control.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Wonky like alien shape.

• 38:36Matt McCusker?

  It's embarrassing for, I am, I'm embarrassed for the rest of the world.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:39Matt McCusker?

  Domestic electrical appliances.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  They're fifty-fifty on deodorant. No AC, there's never air circulated. That, I don't think there's a ceiling fan in Europe.

• 38:47Matt McCusker?

  They don't have fucking lights in the ceilings, dude, it's all lamps and shit.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Um, I can get down with lamps.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  They have old candles.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Guys, you're never gonna believe it, but this episode is brought to you by Call of Duty. Call of Duty Warzone fans, the wait is finally only, finally over. Verdansk is back on April 3rd. You heard that right, the iconic map we all know and love is returning to Call of Duty Warzone. Matt, why don't you take it from there?

• 39:10Matt McCusker?

  Experience all the chaos and relive the thrill you've been missing.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I've been missing it.

• 39:14Matt McCusker?

  It's the return of the map that started it all with fan favorites, POIs. Like, superstore, prison, damn stadium, and more. I love a good POI.

• 39:28Matt McCusker?

  Visit beloved drop zones and familiar terrain and check out the visual and gameplay enhancements that add new dimension, new dimensions to Verdansk. Bringing iconic, talk about the iconic weapons dude.

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Let's bring in the iconic weapons and gameplay features. Call of Duty Warzone will offer the ultimate battle royale experience for new players and veterans alike. Whether dropping into Verdansk for the first time or revisiting all those long missed drop zones, Verdansk has something for every player. Gather your squad and get ready for intense 150 player battles, iconic landmarks and heart pumping moments that will keep you coming back for more. Get ready for the action.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  We've all been waiting for it, it's gotta be epic. Plus, don't, don't you dare miss out on all the incredible rewards during the Return to Verdansk event. Download Call of Duty Warzone for free and drop into Verdansk on April 3rd. Rated M for mature.

• 40:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I actually, I got shocked recently. We bought shock pads for our couch for the dog. Dude, I got fucking rocked trying to pick those things off the couch.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  I thought you sat on it.

• 40:30Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no, no, I was, I was trying to roll them up and I hit the power button once. You'd think like if you hit the power button, the thing turns the fuck off.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:36Matt McCusker?

  All it does is so they give you a thing saying how many times that animal attempted to touch it, which apparently one day, I don't know if this is right, but it said 23.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  It's Jackson?

• 40:45Matt McCusker?

  Matilda.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Oh man.

• 40:46Matt McCusker?

  Matilda was, and now she sleeps like on the other side of the entire, she doesn't even go near. These are like pads that give electrical shocks if your animals try to go on the couch? And I always, whenever I'm doing out of punishment, I do like to try to like see what's up. So I look, I touched it, nothing, I'm like, man, I was kinda like pussy touching it, like, yeah, this is not on. And then I thought I turned it off and picked it up and I was like,

• 41:05Matt McCusker?

  it fucking rocked me. So you're shitting everywhere you bit your tongue? Dude, and then I like hit a button again.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  You're afraid of the couch?

• 41:14Matt McCusker?

  It got me three times. What? Yeah dude, cause I kept trying to like hit the buttons, I'm like, it's gotta be off. And I would like start picking it up and just.

• 41:22Matt McCusker?

  Crush me. Gotta hold the button down. Three times? Yeah, dude, it fucking rocked me. I had three attempts on the meter. You took too much Mako on the brain, bro. You took too many supplements. You can't get shocked three times, it's on you. I know, that was. That was my bad. But I also was just like, cow hard can this thing be? I'll just, it was just, I got a little buzz, I was like, whatever. Second, once I gripped it, it was like, I was like, damn.

• 41:43Matt McCusker?

  How's your cut? Does it heal up? Fully healed.

• 41:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh, nice. Fully healed. That's the supplements. That's the subs, bro. I would have been scarred for three more years. Really? Yeah. No, that's the subs. I also swam for an hour today. I did one hour. That's crazy. It was, I've never swam that long. You get into an actual flow state with swimming, might be. You like, just kept on doing laps? I, I took breaks, don't get me wrong. I took breaks and I, I did, I did my aqua aerobics in between, so I would like run, go back and forth, which is, I just, people were sitting on their decks outside this morning, I would just watch people get up. I mean. Cause I'm not a good swimmer. Good for you. Splash, splash, splash, splash. So hard, yeah. But dude, once, the first 20 were rough. Once I got into like minute 30,

• 42:28Matt McCusker?

  and I, I can't do free, like, I can only do this one. I was doing just a slow, continuous, like, breaststroke. Dude, at the one point I did do like, it's only like, uh, probably 25 meters, maybe back and forth or whatever, but the, uh, when I did like 10, like this, up, down, up, down, up, down. You get into a flow state where you just feel like a fucking crocodile, dude, it's awesome. I was in the water just gliding through the, and slow, dude, I was moving very slow. Just gliding through and I was like, dude, I gotta start doing this. Alone, just with your thoughts? Just myself. You can't, no music, you can't, you can barely hear anything and like, when you, when you can't like, keep going, you start going underwater, like, fuck, yeah, obviously. Yeah. It sucks. So you're like, you have this weird like, primordial panic kind of feeling you the whole, especially when you're really tired, you're like, I gotta make it to the other side.

• 43:12Matt McCusker?

  You're like, I would die if this was a real life scenario. I can't swim two laps. I, dude, I'm telling you.

• 43:16Matt McCusker?

  I could run, I could run for like four or five miles pretty easily, but I can't swim for shit. It's totally different, dude, it's crazy.

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  It's crazy, yeah. It's so fucking hard. Yeah. I tried doing back, I was doing all the strokes too. I was doing butterfly. Backstroke's tough. Backstroke's impossible. To turn, not turn.

• 43:33Matt McCusker?

  How do you see where you're going?

• 43:34Speaker 01

  You can't see where you're going.

• 43:35Matt McCusker?

  You can't see where you're going. How are you gonna do that?

• 43:37Speaker 01

  You gotta check the markers on the

• 43:39Matt McCusker?

  True, I might, I might set out some markers.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:42Matt McCusker?

  It's like a nice.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  That's how you do it, yeah.

• 43:45Matt McCusker?

  I was sure, I was just looking at the pool, like by my feet and be like, alright, I'm that far away. And then towards the end, I would just do a little.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta stick your hands out.

• 43:53Matt McCusker?

  I was trying to invent new strokes too. That was tough.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  That's tough.

• 43:57Matt McCusker?

  I came up with one where I just, just, it was just a feet kick and I just go. Like a platypus? That's not very useful. Yeah, swimming is where it's at. Cause my, the only reason I'm doing it, my left knee's been fucked up. So I had to, I had to take it to the water.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 44:11Matt McCusker?

  Take it back to the source, dude, heal up.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  You might be a seal.

• 44:14Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I

• 44:18Matt McCusker?

  I, it's, it's hard to explain. When you do an hour, and again, I was taking plenty of breaks, I can't swim continuously for an hour, but like, when I got on my nice stretches, it's my, maybe the best feeling ever. So, check it out.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Hell yeah.

• 44:32Matt McCusker?

  I don't know what it does for the t, but.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  It's gotta help the t.

• 44:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would, I would hope so.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  It's gotta help the t.

• 44:38Matt McCusker?

  I don't know why, I'm, I'm trying to get like hard ass boners too. I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I've been ripping these like.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Fly. Just go off flight dude. You'd be rock hard for a month.

• 44:48Matt McCusker?

  I, every now and again, what happens to me on a flight, if I had been drinking the night before, I'll get like devilishly horny on a plane.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:56Matt McCusker?

  Devilishly.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was with Oasis the night before in the O2 Arena, yeah.

• 45:05Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Had a couple of drinks.

• 45:07Matt McCusker?

  All of, just the one Oasis?

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Just the one, they, they never together.

• 45:10Matt McCusker?

  That's fucked, man.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they're going back on tour.

• 45:13Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:14Matt McCusker?

  Hell freezes over for Oasis?

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Yes, they're coming back.

• 45:17Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I'm excited for that. Dude, wait till the brothers just slip into Wonderwall, they're gonna look at each other, be like, I'm sorry, brother. I was being a bit of a con, wasn't I?

• 45:27Speaker 01

  It's gonna be awesome.

• 45:28Matt McCusker?

  Maybe.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  He invited me, he invited me to go. He was like, bring whoever you want.

• 45:33Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  They're, they're gonna do MetLife, uh, Soldier Field and the Rose Bowl.

• 45:39Matt McCusker?

  Sick.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  In the United States.

• 45:40Matt McCusker?

  Sick.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  And then they're gonna do Mexico City, and I was like, maybe I'll do Mexico City.

• 45:45Matt McCusker?

  Mexico City would be tight.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:46Matt McCusker?

  It's a bunch of Mexican Oasis fans, hilarious. Probably a lot of Mexican Oasis fans. Yeah. I would have to imagine Oasis would hit the lads pretty hard. Yeah. Well, who's gonna build the Wonderwall?

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Come on, folks.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  I was working on that.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  What? Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  And I was like, it's too.

• 46:07Matt McCusker?

  So bad.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  It's so bad, yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Thought about it.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  Thought about it.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  I was like, they might get scared of Wonderwall.

• 46:15Matt McCusker?

  They're a very dreamy bunch, the lads.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  They are.

• 46:18Matt McCusker?

  They're very dreamy. I can see them getting down to some Oasis.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 46:22Matt McCusker?

  What do you think?

• 46:24Speaker 02

  The Latinos?

• 46:25Matt McCusker?

  No, Mexicans specifically. Puerto Ricans, I think, would hate Oasis, if I had to guess.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Puerto Ricans would angry and try to fight Oasis.

• 46:32Matt McCusker?

  What other hits they had? They had Wonderwall.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Champagne Supernova.

• 46:36Matt McCusker?

  Champagne Supernova.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  What's it called? Don't Look Back in.

• 46:39Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  That one album was just banger after banger.

• 46:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  What's the, What's the Story is the name of the album?

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:46Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta piss you off if you're Oasis and then you're like getting in a fight with your brother and then Coldplay comes out of nowhere. You're like, dude, we could have been Coldplay.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  They probably hated Coldplay.

• 46:54Matt McCusker?

  They probably fucking can't stand.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  They were like the new Beatles, like for a very long time.

• 46:58Matt McCusker?

  They were crushing it. And I mean, they still, you know, their heads slip off.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Hilarious.

• 47:01Matt McCusker?

  Are they really?

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Watch any clip of them getting interviewed. They're the funniest.

• 47:04Matt McCusker?

  That's sick.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  One of them, I forget which brother it was, but there's one that like, how do you deal with hangovers? He's like, straight back to the pub, no questions asked, don't dwell on it. You're like, fuck it, dude.

• 47:15Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I like this.

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mix is great, doesn't taste like a fistfight, package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drink AG1.com/secretpod.

• 48:02Matt McCusker?

  And for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drink AG1.com/secretpod. This episode is brought to you by Viore.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:18Matt McCusker?

  I've been wearing the Sunday Performance joggers and I'll be honest, I didn't expect to have opinions about joggers, but I do.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I know you do.

• 48:25Matt McCusker?

  Well, they're soft, lightweight and have four-way stretch, so they can move with you with no restriction. They're technically workout clothes, so you can train in them, but they don't look like workout clothes. You can wear them out and people will think you've got your life together. Honestly, they're comfier than whatever you're wearing right now, unless you're already wearing Viore, in which case, respect.

• 48:48Speaker 01

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• 49:10Matt McCusker?

  Coldplay, if you listen to Coldplay's new albums, it's like, they're, it's insane, dude.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  What are they up to?

• 49:16Matt McCusker?

  It's, you can't, I can't even put it into words.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:19Matt McCusker?

  It, it would be like for real if like, uh,

• 49:21Speaker 01

  It's probably like AI.

• 49:22Matt McCusker?

  If the stock market made music, exactly. It is very AI-ish. Some of the songs are just emojis. Just like the world, world emoji is one of the songs.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 49:32Matt McCusker?

  Like for the song title on Spotify, there's no words, it's just like a globe emoji.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Fuck them. Fuck them.

• 49:40Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I like sat down and I was like, let me see what they're up to. And I tried to get into their latest album and I'm like, bro, this is insane. But it's like genius from a perspective of like, if you're trying to gather a ton of like 17-year-olds or whatever.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  And I am.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Hold on, what are we talking about here?

• 50:00Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I was, I can't get over the, I was listening to, I was in the, obviously I was in the car with my wife, but I was listening to Not That Innocent, that song by Britney, I did it again by Britney Spears.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a tough one.

• 50:09Matt McCusker?

  That came on and I was just like, dude, hey, she didn't write this. They were definitely adults writing

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:15Matt McCusker?

  those songs for children. And that was the craziest period. Of just the thing about like, we took so many kids.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  American Beauty came out, I just watched American Beauty for the first time. I never saw it.

• 50:25Matt McCusker?

  It's really?

• 50:25Speaker 01

  I saw it on the flight.

• 50:27Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's such a good-

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Fucking hilarious.

• 50:28Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  It's a great movie.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Did make the boners a little uncomfortable.

• 50:30Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, true.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  All these hot teens.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  It's a hot, yeah. High school kid constantly naked.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Also like that's the, with whatever, Thor Burch, she's actually underage and does that nude scene. Her parents signed off on a nude scene.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Who, which one?

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Thor Burch, one with the big tits.

• 50:46Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know that.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  The daughter or the other lady?

• 50:48Speaker 02

  The daughter. So when she, they showed-

• 50:51Matt McCusker?

  I'm surprised Kevin Spacey would be involved in something like that.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  But she was like 16 when they filmed it and they filmed the nude scene with a 16 year old girl. That's, that's called a loophole, folks.

• 51:02Matt McCusker?

  Getting the permission slip, field trip permission slip?

• 51:05Speaker 02

  You get to just watch child porn in American Beauty because it's art?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  I was watching on the plane with a fucking boner.

• 51:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but here's the thing, Shane, you already had a boner. If I was your lawyer, I would say, if it pulsed, did it pulse? That's your business.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  Did not pulse.

• 51:19Matt McCusker?

  Don't disclose that. We can talk about that.

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  That's confidential.

• 51:25Matt McCusker?

  That's lawyer, that's lawyer client confidentiality.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Sorry, hold on, I have to talk about it.

• 51:34Matt McCusker?

  I'd like to ask for a brief recess.

• 51:44Matt McCusker?

  Covering your face, you know?

• 51:47Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  Argument, I'd like to have that thrown out, your honor. Objection.

• 52:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's all that matters. You get a boner, the pulses are, that's your, even that, I could argue, I could argue a pulse too. I could stand in front of the good people and argue a pulse, but guys, it could be anything.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  Could have been anything.

• 52:14Matt McCusker?

  Little glitch for the twitch.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  Not that sixteen year olds rocking tits on there.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Her huge, her huge bare breasts.

• 52:20Matt McCusker?

  They were covered in flowers. That was the one thing the movie did. Didn't they cover, no, no, that was Nina Sivari.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  The other girl shows her boobs. You do know these girls' names.

• 52:27Matt McCusker?

  What? True. Hey.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  I can't believe you know the daughter from American Beauty's name.

• 52:33Matt McCusker?

  Damn, this turned into a pedophile hunter.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Thorah Birch and Nina Sivari.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Thorah Bircham?

• 52:37Speaker 02

  I don't know any of the adults. I don't know a single adult's name in that movie.

• 52:41Matt McCusker?

  That's a crazy deep cut too.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  No, Thorah Birch, yeah. How do you not know her name?

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Who's the girl from Fast and Furious?

• 52:49Speaker 02

  Nina Sivari?

• 52:50Speaker 01

  You're the one who is got, you have high T, bro.

• 52:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, what are you talking about?

• 52:53Speaker 01

  If you know the names of these girls.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure Nina Sivari was an adult in that movie, like.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  She fucking better have been.

• 52:58Matt McCusker?

  What about Birch? What are some other movies you enjoyed her in?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  I can't name a single other Thorah Birch movie.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Who's the actress in that old Romeo and Juliet movie?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  Uh, oh, I do, I loved her.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  If you know this, you're out of your fucking mind.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, no, I got it. Fuck, I got it. I really have this. She just died.

• 53:13Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  That's how I know about this. I didn't know about this.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, she was like sixteen as well.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  This was another CP.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, they just filmed, they filmed it.

• 53:21Matt McCusker?

  Was that Leo too? Was it the Leo?

• 53:23Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  That was fucking flat chested Claire Danes. Show those little shitty titties. Get it in your mind?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  What was that guy's name? He might be Mr. Celeb or was that?

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Dude, what's her fucking name, dude?

• 53:33Speaker 01

  What's that website?

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Give me the first letter.

• 53:36Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Olivia, Olivia, last name? Olivia Hussey.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna slutty name. What am I supposed to do?

• 53:47Speaker 01

  You're one of the top pigs, dude.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  You're gonna get punched in Walmart, dude. All time top pigs.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  You are gonna get caught at Walmart.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Olivia Hussey, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Cause when I was, I was in high school, they showed us that and we were all just like, what? She was so hot.

• 54:01Matt McCusker?

  What happened in that one?

• 54:02Speaker 02

  They just showed like they had a naked scene. They also showed that guy's butt, the Romeo's butt.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  I never saw it.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  He had a sweet rocking ass.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  Romeo's ass was fucking delightful.

• 54:12Matt McCusker?

  We should get more, yeah, there should be more representation.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  We were like lusting after the girl.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  When's the last time you saw?

• 54:17Matt McCusker?

  High school was fair.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  I, we, I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skanks.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  That's probably where I saw this.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  It's not illegal.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:23Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 54:24Speaker 02

  To watch it now.

• 54:25Matt McCusker?

  If it's in a movie.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  It's in a movie, yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  I might have been in the room.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  You might have been in the room, yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  That's why I'm like, where do I remember this from?

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:32Matt McCusker?

  But you, you don't see like, you do only see rocking asses from men on TV. We gotta start.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Nice dog butt on one of those guys.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, nobody's showing their, like, dude, my ass, I feel bad. Like, I get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my fucking flabby ass. It's so funny. I just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable.

• 54:49Matt McCusker?

  Cause the only people. Everyone else in the locker room has a flabby fucking crazy ass.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  If you're showing your ass and your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and nice dick. The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore.

• 55:01Matt McCusker?

  You just rip it.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I rip it.

• 55:02Matt McCusker?

  That's nice. That's good.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  It's pretty sick.

• 55:04Matt McCusker?

  It's important.

• 55:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking about today, they're like, dude, gay dudes, it rules for them. They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their cocks out. Like, they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there. I'm just saying, they should put gays in their own locker room. It's crazy.

• 55:22Matt McCusker?

  They deserve that perk in life.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  All the bullying, all this stuff, they gotta, they gotta peep your dong.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:29Matt McCusker?

  It's only fair.

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Speaking of gay guys, I watched, uh, this documentary on the, uh, Joplin tornado.

• 55:36Matt McCusker?

  What happened with that thing?

• 55:37Speaker 01

  It's just a giant F5 tornado that ripped through the middle of the town and killed like a hundred sixty people.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  But they filmed this documentary, every person that was in it was gay.

• 55:48Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 55:50Speaker 01

  They interviewed like three different people that were clearly gay. One of them was a young boy newscaster from San Diego that wanted to be a meteorologist. And he was corresponding with an adult meteorologist from Joplin. They had a little thing going and he was like, I'll tell you what, we usually get crazy storms in May if you wanna come by.

• 56:10Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  And then the mom was like, I'm coming with you. What the fuck? So I think that guy might have been caught at Walmart by the mom, but then had to be like, nah, it's just a storm. I don't know.

• 56:20Matt McCusker?

  Storm chaser.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  But then the kid happened to be there when the most devastating storm ever happened.

• 56:25Matt McCusker?

  Was his mommy there too?

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Mom was there.

• 56:27Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  They made it out. They were alright.

• 56:30Matt McCusker?

  Thank God.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  If you get killed by a tornado.

• 56:32Matt McCusker?

  Also, thank God you didn't get a.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Watch the documentary. You can get rocked by it.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  No.

• 56:37Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude, you serious?

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  You go into a basement, you're fine.

• 56:39Matt McCusker?

  How, then the house falls on you. I don't understand how that works.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  They know, it's the biggest tornado.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  The house gets lifted up.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  It was the biggest tornado ever. They got fucking killed.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  I don't believe it.

• 56:48Matt McCusker?

  It would fucking rock you so hard.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  Dude, they were trying to drive away.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Any natural disasters, I just don't buy. I was in a hurricane.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  They're trying to drive away from it. They're, one group was getting chased by it. One of the dudes got sucked out of the sunroof.

• 57:00Matt McCusker?

  Who, the kid who went over there to hang?

• 57:02Speaker 01

  No, no, no, he made it. But it was a different kid that, you know.

• 57:06Matt McCusker?

  He got pulled out of the sunroof of a car?

• 57:08Speaker 01

  I keep calling them all gay. Yes, he got launched out.

• 57:11Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's kinda sick.

• 57:12Speaker 02

  That's a, yeah, it's a great way to die.

• 57:14Matt McCusker?

  If you gotta die, well, yeah.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  No, apparently it fucking hurts because it's all debris. You're just getting hit by glass and dirt that's going 300 miles an hour.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Cows.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  You're getting hit by the worst shit ever.

• 57:25Matt McCusker?

  Entire houses flying.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  You gotta watch this die. It's unbelievable.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Lady on a bike just fucking hit you in the side of the head.

• 57:32Matt McCusker?

  I, yeah, I for real just thought you got launched like super high and fell. I didn't realize all the debris would fucking kill.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  The debris just hurts, yeah.

• 57:37Matt McCusker?

  Sting.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Bro, the one.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  He's getting pegged by debris.

• 57:41Matt McCusker?

  You get so much dust in your eye, you'd be 600 feet up like, god damn it.

• 57:45Speaker 01

  Wait till you hear this. Because it ripped through all this old dead soil and dead vegetation, it had fungus in the air. That was like a flesh eating fungus that got into people and killed a bunch of people.

• 57:57Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was.

• 57:59Matt McCusker?

  They had flesh eating fungus in their dirt?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Everyone does.

• 58:02Matt McCusker?

  That sucks.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  You're thinking about your garden.

• 58:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've been.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  I saw that face.

• 58:09Matt McCusker?

  I've been playing it fast and loose with my hands in the garden.

• 58:14Matt McCusker?

  I just added another roly poly to my garden today. Dude.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  You added it?

• 58:18Matt McCusker?

  I find them. I find them walking around. I keep in my hand, toss them in my garden.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  What do they do?

• 58:23Matt McCusker?

  They're just good. They, they break stuff down, eat other pests.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 58:26Matt McCusker?

  Very beneficial for gardens. But yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  I didn't know that. I was fucking with roly polies my whole life.

• 58:31Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, everyone.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Just watching those fuckers when I find them.

• 58:34Matt McCusker?

  Everyone fuck those things up.

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Watching it roll up and you go.

• 58:36Matt McCusker?

  Toss them. Yeah, we, yeah, it's like smash them.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  I used to tear the legs off of daddy long leg spiders.

• 58:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and the legs still twitch.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  It's just a little fucking ball.

• 58:48Matt McCusker?

  Or the leg?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  I'd love to condemn you, but I've seen a couple of those legs come off and keep moving.

• 58:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and they just keep, yeah, it's pretty sick.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:54Matt McCusker?

  Dams, you turn it into just a fucking head?

• 58:57Speaker 02

  Just a fucking little ball.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Just a daddy.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Just a regular daddy.

• 59:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That must be crazy, just be a fucking legless daddy long leg trying to like interpret the world and just sitting there like.

• 59:13Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta be terrifying.

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:15Matt McCusker?

  Sucks. Poor guy. But yeah, we used to do stuff like that, frogs, all that shit.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  I never did anything, a handful of like bugs I would torture, but not really even torture. I mean, I guess it's torture. If you're tearing all of its limbs off.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's literally a medieval.

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Do you think it hurts?

• 59:30Speaker 01

  They did that to William Wallace.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Daddy long leg. Say mercy.

• 59:37Speaker 02

  We fucking, uh, yeah, but did they, uh, do you think it hurt them?

• 59:41Matt McCusker?

  Well, here's the thing, because they say they don't have the pain receptors, but even if it doesn't hurt, it's still gotta be experienced as a giant inconvenience.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:49Matt McCusker?

  You just be like, you know, on your Ps and Qs trying to munch some ants and all of a sudden you just, all your legs have been ripped off.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  You're just rolling?

• 59:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, not even rolling, they can't even roll, at that point they just.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, kinda just a disc.

• 1:00:00Matt McCusker?

  They're just like a little observation point, they're just.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Until they die.

• 1:00:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, probably quickly, yeah.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Matt McCusker?

  It's probably sweet for birds though.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  Do they grow their legs back?

• 1:00:08Matt McCusker?

  No, not like worms.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  They grew their legs back.

• 1:00:10Matt McCusker?

  Worms can do some weird stuff like that.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Matt McCusker?

  But no, I don't think a daddy long leg spawns legs. I don't think they could survive the like period of growing new legs.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  You know crabs do?

• 1:00:22Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  You ever watch them rip off their claw?

• 1:00:24Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, they'll rip off their own arms.

• 1:00:26Matt McCusker?

  They get bigger better?

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Matt McCusker?

  Shit.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  It'll take its one fucking claw and just go.

• 1:00:31Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck?

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  And just sit there.

• 1:00:36Matt McCusker?

  Crabs.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  I remember that, you ever watch moose shed their, and deer and shit shed their antlers?

• 1:00:41Matt McCusker?

  Shit all their hair, that is pretty sick.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  They just stand there and they go like this, and both their antlers fall off and they get scared. Oh shit, they just take off.

• 1:00:49Matt McCusker?

  I've never seen them knock them off. I've just seen them just like scratch them.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  No, they'll fucking literally just shake their head and their antlers fall off and then they they take off. It's pretty fun.

• 1:00:57Matt McCusker?

  And it's pretty tight.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Anyway, that should probably be the end of the episode.

• 1:01:00Matt McCusker?

  Bigger betters.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  How are we doing? Oh, I thought we were. I thought we were well past. Never mind. I was gonna switch over. I know you guys have. I know you have to get to your Mr. Beast interview.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  I gotta interview Mr. Beast.

• 1:01:09Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I hope you get that.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  Interviewing me?

• 1:01:11Matt McCusker?

  I hope you get that.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  That'd be great. We'll see.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  He did Kill Tony with me and Matt.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Oh, did he really?

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Give you a little insight.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  Get me on, dude.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  I'll try to help.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  Get me on.

• 1:01:19Matt McCusker?

  I, that would be the best.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  Talk to Mr. Beast for me.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Be the best.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  It would also add a lot of viewers.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  I promise.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  That otherwise, actually, your viewers, yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  No, they don't want my viewers.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:01:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. You'd be in the middle of taping. They'd be like, actually, we're taking you off.

• 1:01:38Matt McCusker?

  No, I hope you get that.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Will you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies? It's like, what? I'm just saying.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  It's not your fault they were in the movie.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not my fault. I'm sorry that I'm a movie buff.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're just a consumer.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Matt McCusker?

  That is crazy to be a, like, what, what trophy are you going at? Like, you don't need it. You could totally.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Bro, it was totally fine until after American Beauty. It made it that far.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think American Beauty is the last, the last one where they put a child.

• 1:02:06Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  A naked child in the movie.

• 1:02:09Matt McCusker?

  That is true. You know, we, we, yeah, at that time, we definitely were like parading kids around and like putting them in makeup and making them sing.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  We remember like Brooke Shields in fucking, what was it? The Blue Lagoon?

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  I, dude, I, when I was a kid, I would beat my dick until it was fucking, I mean, until it was in pain to that movie. And I believe she was a genuine child. How old was Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon? She had to be a, like, yeah, maybe, all right, La Mer. He's like, oh, fourteen, right? I've heard.

• 1:02:38Matt McCusker?

  I feel like I, I feel like I heard of this movie when I was younger. Like, my older brothers would talk about this, but I don't remember.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like a brother and sister. Also, that kid's ass was sweet in Blue Lagoon.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Fourteen, nailed it, La Mer.

• 1:02:48Matt McCusker?

  Dang, La Mer, that's even worse.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  La Mer, one of the all-time pigs.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, they just, it was.

• 1:02:57Matt McCusker?

  What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon?

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  It was her, it was her brother and her were shipwrecked and then they were like on an island and just, they were both just naked the whole time and they start banging and that's the whole movie.

• 1:03:07Matt McCusker?

  Her brother?

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  It is just a straight up child porn movie.

• 1:03:11Matt McCusker?

  Incest child porn too.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I believe that was the premise of it.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  It's the Blue Lagoon.

• 1:03:20Matt McCusker?

  Oh, they're cousins.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  They were cousins. He had a sweet ass, I remember.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  Hold on, your honor.

• 1:03:32Matt McCusker?

  And they couldn't get off the island?

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  And then they waited as long as like.

• 1:03:41Matt McCusker?

  Damn, they had to re, they had to repopulate the isle, island with southerners.

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, they start, they start banging and to, I guess, create a society, I have no idea. I don't know if they ever get rescued. I remember just seeing it as a kid being like, dude, she's so beautiful.

• 1:03:59Matt McCusker?

  I mean, yeah, that's a wretched thing to put onto a kid's like mind being like, and then this guy gets stuck with his cousin on an island and have sex. You're 14, you're like.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  I know exactly what cousin.

• 1:04:11Matt McCusker?

  He started getting.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  I know exactly which cousin I'm thinking of.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Like, mom, I'd like to do a carnival cruise. We don't see each other as a family.

• 1:04:21Matt McCusker?

  Every time that boat rocks, you're like, this is it.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  It says online that she did, they did use a body double for the nude scenes.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Aw, man.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  You've been jacking off to the wrong.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  No, I've been jacking off to an adult.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  Not for the boy, though, just for her.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  Sweet adware back.

• 1:04:42Matt McCusker?

  And it's suddenly awesome again.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Damn, shout out to that kid, that boy, he gets to.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  He was 18, dude, sweet ass.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Is it Chris Atkins?

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  I know that.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Did you just know that? Okay.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  I know who Christopher Atkins is. Let me take a look at this movie.

• 1:05:03Matt McCusker?

  Also, as a casting, casting directors gotta be crazy to be like, we're trying to have someone who can pass as a naked fourteen year old girl. And then they got to, that might be the ultimate transcendent pig.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Oh, man, this is child porn.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  It's straight up child porn, dude.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  What the fuck? That's the.

• 1:05:22Matt McCusker?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  I'm just looking at the, like, posters for the movie.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Looks like they remade it.

• 1:05:27Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  In two thousand twelve, Blue Goon, The Awakening.

• 1:05:31Matt McCusker?

  Probably two forty year old fat lesbians.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Eric Bros and Mikel Solomon were the directors and put those boys on the list.

• 1:05:45Matt McCusker?

  Wait, the remake?

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, they remade it.

• 1:05:48Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  You know how many times you have to watch the original movie to remake it?

• 1:05:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's nuts to remake, to be like, let's run that one back.

• 1:05:58Matt McCusker?

  Although Romeo and Juliet, technically, they're probably like twelve.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  In the original story?

• 1:06:03Matt McCusker?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  That was when we, back then, dude, Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a baby.

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  Get married, have a baby.

• 1:06:12Matt McCusker?

  No, that's fair.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Life expectancy of like twenty five. So.

• 1:06:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. No, that's true. I'm not gonna put that on them. It is weird, though, that every, every, like, a lot of women's shows are centered around high school romance.

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  That was, what was that show on HBO now? With Zendaya?

• 1:06:32Matt McCusker?

  Euphoria?

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Euphoria?

• 1:06:33Matt McCusker?

  But even before that, all those, like, soapy WB things, they're all, like, high school things that, like, a lot of, like, adult women would watch. And it just, it's like high schoolers, like, making out and simulating sex scenes.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  Well, that was like that movie, It Follows. It's about high school kids. Do you see It Follows?

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  I love that movie.

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  It was pretty sick.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  It's a fucking horror movie about an STD.

• 1:06:55Matt McCusker?

  I'll tell you what gets me going, Stranger Things.

• 1:06:59Matt McCusker?

  Show's hot as hell.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, It Follows is pretty wild, though. It's actually, it's the first time I was scared in a movie in a long time.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:07Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  That's the one where the, you've seen It Follows?

• 1:07:10Matt McCusker?

  I've never seen it.

• 1:07:11Speaker 01

  There's a scene where the, the thing that It Follows just turns into Pedro. Looks exactly like Pedro Salinas.

• 1:07:17Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  It's so fucking funny. Oh, it was me and Beezer.

• 1:07:20Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  Loved that fucking movie.

• 1:07:22Matt McCusker?

  Was that a Stephen King?

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  No, you're thinking of It.

• 1:07:25Matt McCusker?

  True. No, he did a new movie, or he did a new show that was on HBO like five years ago.

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, uh...

• 1:07:32Matt McCusker?

  About a guy who's in the same place in two different places?

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  It was kinda like The Stranger or some shit, The Outsider.

• 1:07:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was The Outsider, that's what it was.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Shit was great.

• 1:07:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  We're at our, hell yeah. Let's go straight into the Patreon.

• 1:07:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  We've got plenty more incredible stories for you.

• 1:07:46Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Louis is gonna give us more tips on kid nudity movies.