Ep 531 - Bluesky (feat. Billy)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Warboat @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Go See Matt Live in Irvine CA Next Wknd @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com - New Tour Just Announced Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/ yo0oo0o0o0o0o0o. surprise :) Please enjoy. God Bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wild Wild West.

• 0:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't wanna lose again.

• 0:04Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 0:05Matt McCusker?

  Just give me the word, Sean.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 0:10Speaker 03

  That sounds like the chanting in.

• 0:12Matt McCusker?

  Sorry, I fucked up the clap. My bad. I shouldn't. You're good?

• 0:14Speaker 03

  We'll be able to identify.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 0:16Speaker 03

  In the, in the editing room.

• 0:18Matt McCusker?

  We should do a non-verbal episode where we all just go, huh.

• 0:22Speaker 02

  Primal?

• 0:23Matt McCusker?

  Ah, totally primal. That's a better way to put it.

• 0:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:25Matt McCusker?

  Huh. Primal screams.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  Probably what's been happening here the last few months.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  That's a black cave, man.

• 0:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 0:45Speaker 03

  Please speak on it so they don't think I'm just being a white racist.

• 0:47Matt McCusker?

  I thought it was hilarious. I.

• 0:48Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 0:49Matt McCusker?

  Bro, no, you can't talk about it. White comedians.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Never speak on white comedians.

• 0:55Matt McCusker?

  That's law, bro. Y'all are done. That's law. Kendrick Lamar is joining The View as their sixth host. He looks like Whoopi's fucking daughter.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  I was literally, I was like, oh, we'll save it for the pod. I was like, Lamer's political views line perfectly with The View. He's like, Israel needs to defend itself. Also, we need Kamala.

• 1:18Matt McCusker?

  How, I mean, dude, could we get him on? Could we get him on The View? What would it take?

• 1:21Speaker 03

  To get Lamer?

• 1:22Matt McCusker?

  On The View?

• 1:22Speaker 03

  We could just knock out Whoopi.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  Fucking have Lamer.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  Shave Lamer's face.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Take the chair.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Shave the side of Lamer's hair in his face and he might be on there.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  Fuck. That's law. What the fuck are you guys talking about?

• 1:38Speaker 03

  Secret.

• 1:39Matt McCusker?

  You know, studio perk stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's got it, dude. I, I don't know why. When did he become like the ruler of everybody?

• 1:47Speaker 03

  He sucks, dude.

• 1:48Matt McCusker?

  Kendrick Lamar. We have a black president. It's Jay-Z. Kendrick Lamar, he's a stand down, dude.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Nah, Jay-Z started sacrif- he said.

• 1:55Matt McCusker?

  He'll sue you.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  He will sue you.

• 1:57Matt McCusker?

  He came at Pierce Morgan's ass about that.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 2:00Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Fuck him and the Beehive.

• 2:02Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 2:03Speaker 02

  I don't fuck with them. Once they opened up for the DNC, shout out Lamer, I was like, dude, these people are scumbags.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Lamer wanted a mama love. Lamer cried with mama love.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Before, before I get out of here.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  The tweet I heard around the world.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Before, before I get out of here.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  One of the all-time lamest tweets.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Sounds bad, dude.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Wasn't that bad, dude.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  You had a tweet right before, before I get out of here, then you had another tweet after that, before, before I get out of here.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  I'm still tweeting though.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  What was the full tweet?

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Do you remember what the tweet was?

• 2:37Speaker 04

  Before I get out of here.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  Well, it was before, before I get out of here.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  No, uh, was it about, oh, no.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  No, it was about China won because Trump won.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Cause Trump won.

• 2:48Matt McCusker?

  Where did you get such an idea from?

• 2:50Speaker 04

  You know.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Swatch is wrestling in the view.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Dude, I didn't know wrestling fans were all liberal.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  I didn't know that either. I thought for sure they'd be the boys.

• 2:59Matt McCusker?

  I think.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Are wrestling fans?

• 3:02Speaker 04

  There's no in-between.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Every time someone trashes me on Twitter, I, I click it and it's like, yeah, it's cartoon wrestling.

• 3:08Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Every time.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  There's, there, it's, they're very, uh, binary. It's either right or far left.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Nazi guy with Down syndrome.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:20Matt McCusker?

  I could see me going like a, like a staunch feminist, being a wrestling fan, but guys, for real, these women are strong as hell.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, China?

• 3:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, all of them.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, all the divas.

• 3:28Matt McCusker?

  Like women are jacked and have big, huge butts. They can do whatever they want.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  They just do exactly what their parents do.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 3:34Speaker 02

  The bros. It's like, if you have level parents, you're just a drag queen, Down syndrome kid, or it's like.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Holy shit. Oh, you're talking about people with Down syndrome?

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  That's, nah, they, those guys are making some choices. They have a lot of choices. They, they're stubborn as fuck. They make any choice and it's over. That's their choice.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Same here.

• 3:55Matt McCusker?

  I'd love to see him form like a real political block. It would be great.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Where like politicians would have to like start pandering.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're gonna have wrestling again.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  We are, it's a government mandate. There will be 10 new Shreks by the year 2035.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  There will be 20 new Shreks. That'd be nice. They'd win.

• 4:19Matt McCusker?

  They'd get mobilized.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Lamezy.

• 4:24Matt McCusker?

  So what happened, man?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  House a little stinky when we walked in.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  I remember that smell.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  I haven't been here. The last time I was here was when I did a trompon Kill Tony. It's sitting on the, in the bathroom. I literally just took my clothes off and left.

• 4:40Matt McCusker?

  Your clothes are sitting there?

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're just still sitting there.

• 4:42Matt McCusker?

  Like when a homeless person sheds their garb?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  It's literally like two bags of chips and a bottle of water on the ground.

• 4:49Matt McCusker?

  It looks like you got evicted.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. But we can't, I haven't been here since. Came back in, house smells entirely like shit.

• 4:56Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 4:57Speaker 03

  It did. It's getting better now.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  I had a roommate that smelled just like this. Blunt guts and throw up. That's what it is.

• 5:02Matt McCusker?

  You saw blunt guts?

• 5:03Speaker 02

  I just smell it.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  The whole back room. He's been sitting back there smoking blunts, jacking off.

• 5:07Matt McCusker?

  Come on, Leon. It sounds kinda nice.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  I wasn't jacking off in there.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  You didn't catch one?

• 5:13Matt McCusker?

  You only beat off in that room, that's it.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  There's no way you got horny in there and walked across to your room to jack off. I know you stayed in there at least once.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  At least once. I had to reclaim my room.

• 5:24Matt McCusker?

  But every other time you did a boner shuffle, straight to the pool house.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  I had to do the bone shuffle.

• 5:31Matt McCusker?

  Damn, so you caught one in there? That's one thing I'm proud of. My laptop, I've never caught one off my laptop.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Really?

• 5:36Matt McCusker?

  It makes you feel good, yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's untainted.

• 5:38Matt McCusker?

  Clean, yeah, it's a clean machine. It's got no, I haven't smutted my laptop out. It's just a workhorse.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Sometimes it calls for me.

• 5:46Matt McCusker?

  And then this little fucking bitch.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  That's your roast toy.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Takes the brunt.

• 5:54Matt McCusker?

  This poor thing.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  It is our toy.

• 5:58Matt McCusker?

  Bro, that's the worst. That's the worst.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  That was on True Life, I'm addicted to porn.

• 6:02Matt McCusker?

  I thought, yo, you think they'll stop you, but you're just like, yeah, I love them. Anyway.

• 6:10Matt McCusker?

  One day they'll understand their father was a complicated man, right past him. Yeah, it's no stop.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll decline mom phone call, jacking off, you go decline.

• 6:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, did you ever, did you ever stop, did you ever actually stop while doing it? Take the call and the whole time you're like, please just let me back.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  I'd love to tell you I never did that.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Yes, I've taken some phone calls mid beat and then gone right back. You gotta work it back up again.

• 6:36Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  It's actually kinda nice, you get a second beat.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Cox would hit me with that all the time. He would call me at like 3:30, I'm like, I can't talk right now, you're jerking off, like, no I'm not.

• 6:44Matt McCusker?

  Who would hit you with that?

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Cox.

• 6:46Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 6:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:48Matt McCusker?

  True, 3:30 is like, prime time after work, yeah. If you're working a 7 to 3 like a man.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:55Matt McCusker?

  If you're on a girl's schedule, 9 to 5.

• 7:00Matt McCusker?

  Just kidding, love you guys, I love all you guys.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Sorry man, we didn't mean to be sexist like that.

• 7:07Matt McCusker?

  So you, did you get attacked online for your views?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Trump won.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  He cried.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  I didn't cry.

• 7:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you did.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  You saw him cry?

• 7:19Matt McCusker?

  Damn, bro.

• 7:21Speaker 04

  I did not cry. I did make hot dogs.

• 7:25Matt McCusker?

  You made some sad hot dogs?

• 7:27Speaker 04

  It was post-knock this hot dogs.

• 7:30Matt McCusker?

  Did you boil them or how'd you cook them?

• 7:31Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 7:32Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  You gotta boil the dog, dude.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Damn, bro.

• 7:35Matt McCusker?

  Just boil your misery.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  If Kamala would've won, you would've, you would've hit the grill.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  Oh yeah.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  You would've got the Bluetooth speaker going.

• 7:42Matt McCusker?

  Pig's feet. That's footlongs, dude. That's grilled footlong, some kielbasas. Kielbasas for a kabobala.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Kielbasa, here it is.

• 7:52Matt McCusker?

  Where is she? Is she still like hell bent on saving the country or is she like disappeared?

• 7:55Speaker 02

  She's $20 million in debt after they raised a billion dollars. She probably would've been a great president though.

• 8:00Matt McCusker?

  Is she not fighting the fight still? I thought that's all she wanted to do.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  What?

• 8:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I thought she'd be fighting the fight still.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  No, they're not done. The message of joy continues.

• 8:06Matt McCusker?

  Well, at least they got those missiles to Ukraine, that was important.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was huge. Good thing Shapiro signed him too, that was real huge that Shapiro did that.

• 8:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, work on loving humanity domestically after we ship those long range missiles to Ukraine and blast Russians. That was a wild move, by the way.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  It was, it really bothered me.

• 8:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was just like, what? What a fucking spaz.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Stop, stop.

• 8:26Matt McCusker?

  What a spaz. It'd be like, okay, well, fuck that. I don't care about money at all.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Oh, Trump's gonna end the war? Fuck you guys.

• 8:31Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  We're gonna fire everything we have.

• 8:33Matt McCusker?

  It did feel like, kind of like, oh yeah, you think he's a great peacemaker? Watch this. And it's like, you guys are nasty.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  They did it with the jab, bro.

• 8:39Matt McCusker?

  Although, dude, nothing worse than a scorned woman, dude.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Got that right.

• 8:44Matt McCusker?

  Fuck, yeah, hell hath no fury, dude.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  She might be in there, dude. They might get rid of Biden for that.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Joe Byron.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  Joe Byron.

• 8:52Matt McCusker?

  She'll get to taste the, that'd be cool if she had to taste the president.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  She got to do it for a few days.

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  She had to taste the press?

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:57Matt McCusker?

  She had the White House tour?

• 8:58Speaker 02

  They said that dude Biden hates that bitch.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  One week, shit was just great.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Did you see that? Fucking Joe Biden voted in an all red suit and Trump said, yo, he hates you, Kamala. And it's true. Fucking Joe Biden wouldn't shake her hand.

• 9:14Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, hold on. Joe Biden wore the red? She flew the flag?

• 9:17Speaker 02

  She rocked all red to go vote.

• 9:18Matt McCusker?

  Doctor Jill?

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Yes, the doctor. Now she's officially got a doctor.

• 9:22Matt McCusker?

  Was she Dr. Seuss? Why was she wearing all red? Why was she wearing it all red?

• 9:26Speaker 02

  I don't thi- like, I don't think Byron's gonna step down.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  Joe Byron?

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Byron's not gonna let them hit 25th Amendment. Although, time traveler Trump, at the end of his thing, said, be careful what you wish for, they might hit you with that.

• 9:37Matt McCusker?

  Byron's gonna stand down. Dude, there's no, he's definitely standing down.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  No way, bro.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  Time traveler Trump said, be careful what you wish for, he said that in El Paso.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  You ever see like, uh, it's a book, it's a book about, it was a book written in like the 1980s? Yeah, The Adventures of Baron Trump or whatever?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  He has a fucking, he's a time traveler.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  I know, but what did he say in El Paso?

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Oh, be careful what you wish for, because they were trying to hit Trump with the 25th Amendment, and now Byron might be get hit with it. That was like four years ago.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Joe Byron?

• 10:06Speaker 02

  When they...

• 10:07Matt McCusker?

  I, I always forget he's the president.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:09Matt McCusker?

  I always, I think, the last like, two months, or I guess now, it's been like, a couple of weeks, I've been like, okay, so Trump's the president? I'm like, oh yeah, because like, whenever someone's like, president-elect, I'm like, oh yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:18Matt McCusker?

  I gotta remember stuff like that, like, the president-elect, you mean?

• 10:20Speaker 02

  It's gonna be sick.

• 10:20Matt McCusker?

  Not yet the president.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Blue and On's going crazy right now.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Oh, Bluesky.

• 10:25Matt McCusker?

  What's up, Blue and On?

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Blue and On, it's there, I feel for them, because I was there, and they're like, oh no, you don't understand, in two weeks, it's all gonna come out. It's like, it's always two weeks, and nothing ever happens. They're, have you seen Blue Sky?

• 10:37Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Bluesky.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  It's, it's not, it's different than the other place.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  It's Bluesky.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  The other place that we don't talk about.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  I thought it was Bluesky the first thirty times I saw it. I was like, what the fuck is Bluesky?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  X is the other place.

• 10:50Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Blue Sky is live Twitter.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Blue Sky is live Twitter.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  It is Blue Sky. Can we stop?

• 10:54Matt McCusker?

  Blue Sky, I'm sorry.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  It's obviously Blue Sky.

• 10:56Matt McCusker?

  Blue Sky.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 10:57Matt McCusker?

  Starting on Twitter is so funny.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  I actually know it was a genuine mistake.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  That's good boomer juice though.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  I was fully like, the hell's Blue Sky?

• 11:07Matt McCusker?

  That's gotta be so fun to go over there though.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Dude, they're deranged. It's crazy. It's like seeing the opposite of me.

• 11:14Matt McCusker?

  Why are they starting Blue Sky, dude? Trump's?

• 11:16Speaker 02

  They don't want to go on the other place, dude. There's nothing.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  They're not allowed to go on there, yeah. And we're gonna call it Twitter. We're not calling it X.

• 11:23Matt McCusker?

  Everybody calls it Twitter still.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I know. It's the lame. That's, so that's the fucking pronoun joke for the left?

• 11:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  You know how pronoun, they're like, my pronouns are, uh, I love pussy. There's like Twitter or X or whatever it's even called these days.

• 11:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  That's what they say every single time.

• 11:39Matt McCusker?

  That's funny.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  And then America goes.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  All the fucking, they're called skeets too, bro. They're called skeets instead of tweets.

• 11:50Matt McCusker?

  At the skies, they're called skeets?

• 11:51Speaker 03

  At Blue Sky, it's called skeets.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Cums.

• 11:53Matt McCusker?

  You're skeet, you're skeet?

• 11:55Speaker 03

  They say, we gotta put out a new cum.

• 11:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they might get me over there. I'd love to skeet all day.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Either skeet or reskeet.

• 12:01Matt McCusker?

  A reskeet?

• 12:02Speaker 02

  I swear to God.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  If skeet don't get you, reskeet will.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  It's all like hinge jokes and then like horrible fucking stuff like before, before I get out of here, China won.

• 12:13Matt McCusker?

  It's like true socialists. It's just probably just completely deranged.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  What do they call like over there?

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I don't know. I think it's a like.

• 12:19Matt McCusker?

  A yes. It's a yes. It's a yes.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  They gobble it up. It's a yes.

• 12:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you get yesed.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  You yes people's jizz.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Nice jizz. I never thought of it that way.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  They all, they hate, uh, that chick Nancy Mace on there though. Did you see that chick?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Nancy Mace?

• 12:34Speaker 02

  I love her, dude.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  She just reminds me of my mom.

• 12:37Matt McCusker?

  What was Nancy Mace doing? She's pissed about it.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  She's pissed because there's a fucking tranny in Congress. It's huge. It looks like if Shane had a wig on, bro. And they're like, dude, fuck that. She can't go in the bathroom. Why not?

• 12:50Speaker 03

  What?

• 12:51Speaker 02

  It's crazy, but they all want to kill Nancy Mace because she's like, dude, I don't want fucking dudes in our bathrooms. And they're, it's really, um.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  The video, the videos they make, like I saw a video of her rip, because they put up a bunch of like trans flags over the bathroom sign and she like had somebody film her ripping them down and be like, this is not. It's literally, they're all like teachers making TikToks. That's what Congress has become. It's like, follow me on my day as a congresswoman. This is what I wear. And then I signed a bill.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  I make no sense.

• 13:19Matt McCusker?

  And then I had to have the Mocha Latte.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  We are at war.

• 13:22Matt McCusker?

  That's.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  It's fun.

• 13:23Matt McCusker?

  That's terrible.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  We haven't addressed the homeless situation.

• 13:24Matt McCusker?

  So she was like, watch this and just rip down the flag. Damn.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, their days are numbered, bro.

• 13:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, that's.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Chicks are about to start rising up against the trans.

• 13:34Matt McCusker?

  That's also.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  It's gonna be one of the great battles, like the Titans versus the gods, bro.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  If the women's rise, if the women's rise up against the trans, I'm signing with the trans.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Are you serious?

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be hilarious, dude.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  That would be very funny.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  See a bunch of dudes beat the shit out of women.

• 13:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but it's gonna be a lot of covert psychic warfare. You know, it's gonna be a lot of relational.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  I'm with the tease.

• 13:54Matt McCusker?

  Kind of walk in and be like, nice shoes.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  Imagine just barging into a chick's bathroom, especially a locker room.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  The thing about this, it probably doesn't work on them. They probably try to hit the tease with like, what would hurt a woman?

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Your shoes look shitty.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  It's just a guy going like, I don't give a fuck, I'm sneaking into the bathroom.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  I got these for 12 bucks down at the Ross.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Comfortable as hell.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  Wearing cell phone clips on their belts. What?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Shirt tucked into huge tits.

• 14:29Matt McCusker?

  You think it was just a giant dump?

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Pull up, pull up.

• 14:32Matt McCusker?

  You think there was the moment when like, she was at the, the congressman was sitting there and it was just like a full like, oh, it's a giant dump. That's it.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:40Matt McCusker?

  This is my one place of peace.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Taking like a 6'3" dude airport dump.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Just a JFK.

• 14:49Matt McCusker?

  I'd get political. Political, I'd be like, alright, this is enough.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  That is exposing them too, because they hate shitting around dudes.

• 14:56Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  That might be fucking the number one problem.

• 14:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, they only, they wanna say, that's an intimate thing they wanna say for their husband or boyfriend.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  Well, man, how do you feel about all this bigotry?

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Cause I, me, I, you know what, I'm starting to join the view here, I'm a little uncomfortable by it. What the McCusker brothers have done, and I have nothing to do with it.

• 15:16Matt McCusker?

  Join the view.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  I might pull up a chair.

• 15:19Matt McCusker?

  It's, the, the show has to go on forever, I hope it never stops.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  It's getting better.

• 15:23Matt McCusker?

  Is it really?

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, why turn it on, it's fucking hilarious.

• 15:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I only see the clips and it's damn.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  They're, they're spazzing all day.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Watching dresses like she's from like the Galactic Federation. It's fucking crazy.

• 15:37Matt McCusker?

  I like Whoopi on there, Whoopi's the voice, Whoopi's the voice of reason on The View.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  I saw your watering ass eyes, you fucking liberal.

• 15:44Speaker 04

  Whoa dude.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  That's some respect.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Come on, man.

• 15:49Matt McCusker?

  Me and Billy were talking the other day.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  We have a little respect.

• 15:51Matt McCusker?

  Me and Billy have came to the agreement that um, if you're an atheist, you're a pervert. Just by default. It's just fucking, it's just masochism. You're just taking a belief system like, oh yeah, I'm so fucking alone in this universe.

• 16:05Matt McCusker?

  It's a perverted stuff.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  It's a cop out.

• 16:07Matt McCusker?

  It is a total cop out. It's fake big boy.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  I don't have a boss that, yes, you do, brother.

• 16:10Matt McCusker?

  Yes, you do, brother.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  G O D.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  His name is Jesus Christ.

• 16:15Matt McCusker?

  For Blueski dude, you go on Blueski.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  You go on Blueski, you're gonna be like, God's not even real and my fucking dad won't fucking talk to me.

• 16:25Matt McCusker?

  I told my dad to take down his Trump sign, I got kicked out of Thanksgiving.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  I can't wait for Thanksgiving, brother.

• 16:30Matt McCusker?

  My parents were like, kind of like, they were, they were like, they're asking me, did you put up a Trump sign? I was like, no, I didn't put one up on my lawn. They're like, they kind of looked at me like, bitch. They're like, we had four. I'm like, alright dude.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  We had four.

• 16:42Matt McCusker?

  I didn't want to do that.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  I did get to watch a guy collect his signs.

• 16:44Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  On the way to, I was on the way to tires and on my way to work and I got to watch a guy in the morning, morning after the election, picking up his Kamala Harris signs.

• 16:54Matt McCusker?

  Their Kamala's?

• 16:55Speaker 03

  It was, it was really fun to watch.

• 16:57Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna put up a Kamala forever.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  It was so funny to watch it.

• 17:01Matt McCusker?

  Just to defeat it.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  There's a guy picking up, and he was one of those guys that had like ninety in his front yard.

• 17:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  He just had to go out there, eight AM.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  How many did you put up, Lamar? You put any up front?

• 17:12Speaker 03

  Did you have, yeah, you probably had a couple outside.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  This place was damned out. This is Blueski headquarters while you're gone.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  This might be, that might be Blueski headquarters back there. Are you the king of Blueski?

• 17:23Speaker 04

  They had a Colin, Colin Allred up there. Oh my God, it's awesome.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  What happened?

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Nothing, I'm sorry.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Hold on, no. What did you say?

• 17:31Speaker 04

  There's another guy running named Colin Allred.

• 17:35Matt McCusker?

  What was his deal?

• 17:36Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Was he a local Dem?

• 17:38Speaker 04

  He was just a local Dem, yeah.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  What did you like about him, other than just that he was a Dem?

• 17:42Speaker 04

  I liked his name is all red.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Alright, that's good enough.

• 17:46Matt McCusker?

  Did I tell you, I got to vote this year for the first time.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Nice, how'd it go?

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  It was kinda swell.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, you told.

• 17:51Matt McCusker?

  It was kinda fun, yeah, I went in there, it was, uh, dude, everyone sits in a voting place, very like, it's like you would think for real, they're like, all like rescuing babies. Everyone has like a face, like, they look at each other and go.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Doing your civic duty.

• 18:04Matt McCusker?

  They're not, I mean, I said, hold on, brother. To be fair, on the, you know, there's like the main thing, the big election, the big vote, and then you have like, do like a million tiny votes. And there I got, I just started just throwing them to whoever.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:15Matt McCusker?

  I was going, bing bang, bing bang, bing bang, bing bang.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  Bing bang.

• 18:18Matt McCusker?

  Anyone in like the court, I'd be like, Democrat, just in case I fuck around, get in trouble for something.

• 18:24Matt McCusker?

  I wanna get a little catch and release action.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  We need, uh.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  The big one go to.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  We also need to acknowledge.

• 18:28Matt McCusker?

  Can't say, I won't say. I won't say.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  If we're gonna sit here and crush the libs, we have owned the libs for the first however many minutes of this podcast. We've been owning libs.

• 18:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  It's time to focus on the right a little.

• 18:38Matt McCusker?

  What are they up to?

• 18:39Speaker 03

  There's a lot of pedophiles.

• 18:40Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 18:41Speaker 03

  They're all pedophiles.

• 18:42Matt McCusker?

  Are they really?

• 18:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, every single one.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  Cross the board.

• 18:47Matt McCusker?

  Did you say this before? I'm trying to think if I heard this from you.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Pedophiles, literally, it's not funny.

• 18:51Matt McCusker?

  Have you talked about this before? I was like,

• 18:55Matt McCusker?

  has anyone ever talked about how Michael Jackson became so successful, he became a white pedophile?

• 18:59Speaker 02

  He's not a pedophile, relax.

• 19:01Matt McCusker?

  He's not a pedophile?

• 19:02Speaker 02

  He is not a pedophile.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  This is the true conspiracy theorist. You call everyone that is not a pedophile, a pedophile.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  The king of pop, dude.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Bro, he is not.

• 19:13Matt McCusker?

  Do you think he was like, saying it was a resort?

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Schmooly had something to do with it, Candace Owens came out and said that.

• 19:18Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was not a pedophile. I don't, I, at least I don't think so.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  Hold up.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  There's all sorts of shit where like, the one dude, the first dude that accused him, the kid, the mom and dad like, liked him or whatever, but then the, the, their mom and stepdad liked MJ, and that kid would chill there, and then the fucking dad was like, well, you're at whose house? Fuck that, and fucking sued him and got the money and shit. And that just kept happening. That boy, that boy was fucked.

• 19:41Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, the dad was like, you're at Michael Jackson's house? I'm suing him for?

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:44Matt McCusker?

  Pedophile?

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, the dude's a scumbag.

• 19:47Matt McCusker?

  So you're a pedophile.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Dude, I swear to God, I think he got set up and then I think he got killed for his record shit. There's this whole thing where it's like.

• 19:55Matt McCusker?

  Apparently he owned a bunch of stuff in vacation. I've heard that. I heard he owned stuff and yeah, what are they saying on the Blue Skies? They're saying, uh, I heard he owned like a piece of sandals. That's I've heard that before. They killed him for the.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Sandals, the resorts?

• 20:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  MJ owned the resorts?

• 20:09Matt McCusker?

  I swear to God, I think he had like in one of those giant companies, he had a huge stake.

• 20:13Speaker 05

  I thought he, I thought he owned a little bit of the Beatles.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  He did.

• 20:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I thought that's what they.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  One of the best bands of all time.

• 20:19Matt McCusker?

  He owned the Beatles.

• 20:21Speaker 05

  I get it.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Oh, not so tough now.

• 20:25Speaker 05

  What am I gonna, I just keep defending Drake. That's all it was about. It wasn't about none of that.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Drake is number one, dude.

• 20:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're going, nah, I'm a pedophile.

• 20:30Matt McCusker?

  I said it, I said it on the pod.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  No, you're not. No, you're not.

• 20:34Matt McCusker?

  Drake's a visionary dude. He was, he was totally right. Kendrick is, I don't know why he's so anti comedy dude. He's, he's totally crossing.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  He's anti comedy dude. And there's one thing I hate is when comedians get censored.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  They are the canaries in the coal mine.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  The canaries in the coal mine.

• 20:48Matt McCusker?

  Someone was telling me, I think Pedro was telling me I should keep, uh, tape on my mouth until I go out on stage and I go.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, just write society on tape.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Says all the nuts. I was holding that one in.

• 21:00Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  No, I'm just saying, just.

• 21:03Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Something horrendous.

• 21:05Matt McCusker?

  Something.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Ajax used to post, Ajax was listening to a book for a while. He would post on Instagram of just, uh, do a duct tape over her mouth and just said society on the duct tape.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  Sick. Remember Tommy Sambazo's headshot?

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  At Magoob's, he had the caution tape. It's a fucking microphone. It's a gun.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Caution tape.

• 21:24Matt McCusker?

  That's fucking sick.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Dude. I think it was Simba. I didn't mean to name the man. He was the man.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Mike, Michael Jackson got killed by Sony.

• 21:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Oh, so it was over the Beatles music?

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. Not the Beatles music, cause that went back to Paul McCartney, but he got killed by Sony because they're supposed to do a tour and they'd make more money off the insurance if they killed him.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  There's a whole thing in, uh, the music industry that also.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Where he did a lot of drugs.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Was at MJ's fucking. Hospital when he died.

• 21:50Matt McCusker?

  P Diddy's bodyguard?

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, the nutty like Ray Donovan Muslim dude that P Diddy had was at Michael Jackson's hospital when he died. But there's a whole thing, there's a documentary about it where like, once they're done with you and your record sales start dying off, they own insurance on you and they get double paid for killing you and your shit skyrockets and they get all the money.

• 22:10Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  So they get a lot, they have an insurance policy on the artist and when they kill the artist, they get the insurance policy because he fucking dies. And then they're saying like, look at Prince's sales, go through the fucking roof, they take all of it.

• 22:21Matt McCusker?

  Shit.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Many, many cases.

• 22:24Matt McCusker?

  Is that what the sacrifice is all about?

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Part of it. When you're evil, bro, wants to sacrifice you.

• 22:29Matt McCusker?

  Quick announcement for Irvine, California, or really all of SoCal. You guys know I'm SoCal as hell. I've been SoCal. But yeah, I'll be at the Irvine Improv, 1129, that's this upcoming weekend. Well, I guess next weekend, whatever. 1129 and 1130. And I've also added a show on 1131 or 121. I'm not sure how many days are in November, but you get the point. Next Friday, next Saturday, next Sunday, I'll be in Irvine, California. And let me just say for the record, fuck LA, dude. It's all about Irvine. I'm sick of people from LA being like, oh, you're going to Irvine? I'd never go down. Fuck you, dude.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  Shut up. Irvine's where all the reels are, not a bunch of pretenders out in LA. I'm gonna be a famous actor? No, you're fucking not. Grow up and move to Irvine. I'll see you there. God bless you all.

• 23:40Speaker 06

  Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking. And this may or may not be Sean Gardini on camera. Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Shawn Gardini is doing stand up comedy shows. The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8th. Buffalo, New York, December 10th. And Baltimore, Maryland, December 11th. Please come to those shows if you can. The tickets are at ShawnGardini.com. Thank you.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  And we're back. Hey.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Okay, so MJ not a pedophile. I'm not afraid. Everybody.

• 24:26Speaker 06

  So you're saying MJ is not a pedi- you're you're ruling pedophile, not a pedophile?

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't think he's a pedophile.

• 24:31Speaker 06

  Okay, now do Donald Trump.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Donald Trump, it's because I looked into all the fucking Republican, I'm blue and on now.

• 24:37Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  I'm liberal, I watch V with La Mer.

• 24:41Speaker 06

  Simple, yes or no?

• 24:42Speaker 02

  It's hard to say because if he was a pedophile, they would have got him on it by now. That's the only thing that fucks me up.

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  What about, what do you think about the tape, what do you think about the tape they, uh, that came out like right at the end? Where it was like the audio of like him and Epstein?

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Epstein, it wasn't him and Epstein, it was Epstein, this dude Wolf.

• 24:56Matt McCusker?

  So why were they trying to tie Trump to that?

• 24:58Speaker 06

  Simple yes or no?

• 24:58Speaker 02

  It's hard to say, that's what I'm saying, the jury's out, I'm not, he's not my savior.

• 25:02Matt McCusker?

  It's the internet, dude, just say something sensational, we'll capitalize.

• 25:05Speaker 06

  Simple yes or no?

• 25:06Speaker 02

  At this point, I have to say no, because he would have, they would have got his ass.

• 25:09Speaker 06

  Matt Gaetz.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Brother, yeah.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  I don't know, there's all sorts of fucking weird shit about that, he's fucking happy.

• 25:16Matt McCusker?

  Didn't he resign?

• 25:17Speaker 02

  He likes to.

• 25:19Matt McCusker?

  But he's not Trump's cabinet now, didn't he resign out of that?

• 25:22Speaker 02

  What?

• 25:23Matt McCusker?

  I heard that if he had stayed.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  Delete that.

• 25:25Matt McCusker?

  I heard that if he stayed in Congress, then they would have released like the findings of the ethics things. But since he like resigned, now they can't show people whatever they found.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 25:36Matt McCusker?

  That's what I heard.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Bro, I don't know, I just, at this point, everyone's on fucking notice. Dennis Hasser was a Republican, I think Speaker of the House forever. And he was also involved in wrestling, which is fucking weird, so was Jim Jordan, there was a pedophile there, but it doesn't matter. Fucking Dennis Hasser was the Speaker of the House forever, and he was on Epstein's island, he was friends with Podesta. He was like the OG pizza guy, where like Hasser was a fucking scumbag pedophile, and no one said a fucking word. So now everybody who's in that fucking thing, they're not my heroes, I fucking hate them, and they're all cool with pedophilia. Because they let that shit go on.

• 26:08Speaker 06

  Do you have any heroes?

• 26:09Speaker 02

  No, you, you're my hero.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  Billy.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Bitch ass.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  Everyone's always been cool with pedophilia. It's always been cool.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  Not me.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  What?

• 26:18Speaker 04

  It's always been elite cool.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Big pedophile. Bro.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  Yes, it has since the beginning of time.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Subversion. It's a subversion, bro.

• 26:25Matt McCusker?

  Historically speaking, La Mer is right. Like, if you go to, like, the Middle East, they do the dancing boys. It's, I'm not saying it's great. I'm glad we've, I'm glad we've all elevated up from that.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Great men were not pedophiles. Alexander the Great was not a pedophile.

• 26:37Matt McCusker?

  He definitely fucked a boy.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Relax, bro.

• 26:39Matt McCusker?

  He fucked.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  I think you actually might have named, like, notable pedophile.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 26:45Matt McCusker?

  He's Alexander the Greatest pedophile.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  That's all smear, bro.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, they cut that off, yeah.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  It's all smear.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  It was, it could be a smear.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  They hit that with every fucking great man. Oh, he's a fucking pedophile. MJ, pedophile. It's a halls of memento, dude. Alexander the Great, MJ.

• 26:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Guys like that.

• 26:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think there was a part of ancient warfare.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  LeBron James has not been named a pedophile, ever.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  I just love when he holds books. He does dozen reads.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  I can't judge him on that.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  I was getting into that.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  I can't, I don't think, who are we to judge, dude? Chapter one. Nailed it. I know that book. I'm with LeBron, Charles.

• 27:21Matt McCusker?

  LeBron. The Dems are, we gotta own the repubs, dude.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  We gotta own the repubs a little, dude.

• 27:25Matt McCusker?

  I don't know, uh, I don't know what's going on with them. I know they're like, there's.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, they got McMahon in there. You like that, La Mer?

• 27:31Matt McCusker?

  Vince McMahon is in the.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  No, Linda.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Why don't you like that, La Mer?

• 27:36Speaker 04

  Linda stinks and she divorced Vince.

• 27:38Matt McCusker?

  Dude, Vince was wild. Vince was crazy.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Must have, bro.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  You guys are wrong, dude. Vince is the man.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Vince wasn't banging wrestlers?

• 27:46Speaker 04

  Who wasn't? Who would?

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Dudes, bro.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  So what?

• 27:50Matt McCusker?

  But he was banging the divas?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  He was banging the.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  He wasn't banging the dudes. He was banging some divas. He banged the dudes. He had the dudes banged with him. Like, he'd have his top guys banging the hot livers.

• 27:59Matt McCusker?

  That's just a party, bro.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not a party, bro.

• 28:02Matt McCusker?

  It's just a party.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  He's up to some weird shit. Mafia.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude.

• 28:04Matt McCusker?

  Dude, here's the thing. Imagine you have all these giant wrestlers. You're gonna wanna see, like, take down China. Yeah, you're gonna.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  Put it in the fucking, yeah, break down the walls.

• 28:12Matt McCusker?

  He just took his toys out of the toy box. He took his toys out of the toy box.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  I showed Shane the Destiny chats at Leaks, bro. They're so gay.

• 28:19Matt McCusker?

  What happened?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  He's talking about having a butt plug in and thinking about sucking dudes. That's literally quote.

• 28:26Matt McCusker?

  Who, Destiny?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Destiny's talking this chick like, oh, yeah.

• 28:29Matt McCusker?

  He's been being really funny.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  I just want a butt plug. This is so intense. Intense.

• 28:35Matt McCusker?

  Here's the thing, if he, if he was joking, that would be the funniest thing in the world, dude.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, what if he was being funny?

• 28:41Matt McCusker?

  If he was joking.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  That's hilarious, if he was being funny.

• 28:44Matt McCusker?

  If you're being funny, that's the funniest thing in the world to say.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  Oof, this is intense. That just sounds too real.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  Mad dude, chicks walk around with that shit in your ass, bro.

• 28:54Matt McCusker?

  Butt plugs?

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'd be sick to like sit down on a political debate and just be plugged up.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:00Matt McCusker?

  I disagree, actually.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Tokens.

• 29:04Matt McCusker?

  I'm not gonna judge a man for wearing a butt plug. It is intense, I bet.

• 29:08Matt McCusker?

  He's not a liar, it's a long thing.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  You could say a lot about him.

• 29:11Matt McCusker?

  He's not a liar.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  He's telling the truth on this.

• 29:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's an absolute truth.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  He's definitely telling the truth, that's just.

• 29:15Matt McCusker?

  It is funny to wear one and act like it's like a medic, like an insulin detector, like, hold on, I'm a fucking butt plug.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta check the app.

• 29:21Matt McCusker?

  Give me a second. I need to board the plane first. My butt plug's going crazy right now. I need to do a medical pre-.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  I need an orange juice.

• 29:30Matt McCusker?

  What percent of people do you think are walking around with butt plugs in, day to day?

• 29:37Matt McCusker?

  You think it's ten?

• 29:37Speaker 03

  You think it's a solid ten?

• 29:38Matt McCusker?

  Ten percent's crazy.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Ten percent's way too much. No way.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  All day?

• 29:42Matt McCusker?

  You're walking around with butt plugs? Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Chicks do it supposedly to prepare for anal sex later in the night.

• 29:48Matt McCusker?

  Not ten percent. I mean, you got gay dudes who act there every day.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  To prepare for anal sex later in the night.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  If you wear it all day, it's intense.

• 30:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You think you would just like, you would, ah, be crazy?

• 30:04Speaker 02

  When you do deviant shit like that.

• 30:07Matt McCusker?

  It'd be nice, un-corking yourself and take a dump would be nice, brother.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Your game.

• 30:11Matt McCusker?

  Dude, popping the cork to dump, that would be nice.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Hold it in all day?

• 30:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  You ever take a dump that almost comes out sideways and it hurts?

• 30:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 30:20Matt McCusker?

  Not sideways, but I've had a.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Or just like a fucking big, a big fucker.

• 30:24Matt McCusker?

  Wait, you've had, you've had like a breach?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Hurts.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Wait, in your mind, you think it's cause it's going outside?

• 30:29Speaker 02

  That's what it feels like, you know what I mean?

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  Take a piece on Tetris, just.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  It's a long one, you get a square.

• 30:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I've got, dude, I've got, I've got real like split one time.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure.

• 30:40Matt McCusker?

  It hurts, bro.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  It's split open.

• 30:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's split open.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Shower before bed, you wake up, you got a dry butt.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  You got a dry asshole prime for the crackling. And you drop a fucking square.

• 30:54Matt McCusker?

  Tetris cube.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Cube, you go, where the fuck am I gonna put this?

• 31:00Matt McCusker?

  You drop it next to four straight logs and go, yes, Tetris.

• 31:06Matt McCusker?

  I just got, my shit's been out.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Happened to me the other day.

• 31:08Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Happened to me the other day.

• 31:09Matt McCusker?

  For real?

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  It was intense? Yeah, it was intense.

• 31:15Matt McCusker?

  You could have been more diligent and wore the plug. He's probably just getting ready for fat turds, dude.

• 31:21Matt McCusker?

  He's probably getting ready for the fattest turds.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  He is, supposedly he enjoys cockholding. Cockholding?

• 31:27Matt McCusker?

  What's that?

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Cockholding? Cockholding, my fucking girlfriend's dad forever just called it cockholding. He thought it was a dude who just sits there and holds his cock. See, that guy's a cockhold.

• 31:38Matt McCusker?

  That's what I was imagining. I was like, is that a thing where you just like hold someone's dick for a while? Follow them around?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  It's just his version of cuck.

• 31:45Matt McCusker?

  I could see, I could see subbing out and just holding someone's dog for like, excuse me, putting a little leash on it.

• 31:52Matt McCusker?

  Dude, Tom was telling me there's a new movie out about, um, Nicole Kidman is getting dommed.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, Spade was telling me about that late.

• 32:00Matt McCusker?

  Just her getting, she's a power businesswoman and like an intern comes in and is like, get on the floor. And just, it's like a new Fifty Shades of Grey type.

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  Just her getting dommed. That'd be nice to see. Take your babe and go see Nicole Kidman.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Kidman, I loved her.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Oh, I got, I got, this is, oh, fuck, I don't know if I should say it. All right.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Society.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  All right, I'll say it, whatever. Ah, this is a tough one. This is exposing.

• 32:30Matt McCusker?

  It's bad?

• 32:31Speaker 03

  No, I just, all right. So we're, we're watching, I'm, I'm with my parents. We're watching Notre Dame football.

• 32:37Matt McCusker?

  Your dad pulls out a butt plug?

• 32:39Speaker 03

  My dad's butt plug started by, no, it's worse. It's worse. So we're watching Notre Dame. My, I, I, I went back home to chill with the boy. My, my father's gotta be sober watching football and it's it's tough to watch, man. It's just white knuckling the fucking, these white knuckling NFL Sunday, just.

• 32:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Makes the celebrations hurt more.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Notre Dame's playing and a guy makes plays, his name's Christian Gray, he plays for Notre Dame. My mom goes, where do I know that name?

• 33:09Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  What do you mean? She's like, it's in a book. And I was like, I was like, I don't know what book it is. And she's like, oh, I know. And that was quiet. And I was like, what, what are you talking, Fifty Shades of Grey?

• 33:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Disgusting.

• 33:26Matt McCusker?

  I know, as soon as you said it.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  And then my other sister's there and she's like, yeah, mom read like fucking five of those books.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  They all do.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  And I was like, ew. And then he, she goes, yeah, and then she gave him to Katie, which she was done. And I was like, dude, that's fucking disgusting.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  That's like training porn mags.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Exactly, that's what I said. I mean, that's fucking disgusting.

• 33:43Matt McCusker?

  Most women are addicted to erotic literature.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you don't want to think about your mom fucking.

• 33:48Matt McCusker?

  Damn, she has them on like top of the VCR, like at your dad's place.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  You can find where the bookmark was, you go, oh, that's where she finished.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  And then tossing it to your other sister, being like, yo.

• 34:00Matt McCusker?

  Get her fired up.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Are they on Audible?

• 34:04Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah. Did you ever see that guy on Instagram who blasted?

• 34:06Speaker 02

  This is Audible.

• 34:08Matt McCusker?

  There's a guy who on Instagram who blasts Fifty Shades and goes through drive-throughs, it's pretty fucking funny. You see guys, and then he grabbed my ass, and you see a guy like handing fries, like, what the fuck?

• 34:19Speaker 03

  I thought that was more of a bombshell than it was.

• 34:21Matt McCusker?

  That is hilarious, dude.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  It hurt.

• 34:22Matt McCusker?

  Did you, did you know right away when you said Christian Gray?

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Ruined the whole second half of the game. I just sat there going.

• 34:27Matt McCusker?

  You just held your father's hand, you're like, it's all right, father, don't worry.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  And my father is in poor health, he just had to sit, I mean, that should have driven him to alcohol.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  A disgusting wife and daughter.

• 34:37Matt McCusker?

  No, all women read that stuff, it's non-stop. That's like, there's like the, one of the only books that sells. It's erotic, it's like romance novels and that, they call them romance novels, and then erotic.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Are they the ones with like Fabio on the cover and shit?

• 34:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but they.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  You started hitting those.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did.

• 34:50Matt McCusker?

  I'll, I'll jerk off to some erotica.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Matt is not afraid to explore his feminine.

• 34:55Matt McCusker?

  I'm not afraid.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  You do have a feminine, what was it?

• 34:57Matt McCusker?

  I do have a girl brain.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  No, you kept calling it like a, fuck, there was a word for it.

• 35:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my anima?

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:03Matt McCusker?

  My anima is well-developed. We all have an anima.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  It's so funny to do this shit and cope with it. I'd be like, my anima is well filled.

• 35:11Matt McCusker?

  That just means your anima is screaming into death. So we all have an anima.

• 35:14Speaker 05

  What is an anima?

• 35:15Matt McCusker?

  It's the feminine in the masculine psyche. And women all have an animus. And if your animus possessed, my god, watch out. But yeah, my anima is totally liberated. And it's also, dude, I'm telling you.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Yo, you wanna know, there's a good, there's a bro I like right now. His anima is fully liberated. Jared McCain for the Sixers. He's the guy doing the fucking TikTok dances.

• 35:36Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  His anima is out. He does not care. He's feminine, dude. He's hitting, he's dropping thirty and doing TikToks. Everyone's mad, dude.

• 35:44Speaker 05

  Painting his nails and shit.

• 35:45Matt McCusker?

  Cause I'm three days into college and two lectures behind.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  You show me this guy.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  I love this dude so much. DM him, he doesn't answer.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  I get drunk and DM him.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Oh, you're the man.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck. He's been killing it. They, they're giving him a chance and he's dominating.

• 36:06Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome, dude.

• 36:07Speaker 05

  He's gonna be Rookie of the Year.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  He's awesome.

• 36:09Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 36:10Speaker 05

  Um, unless he gets hurt or something. If he keeps playing like he's playing, he's gonna be Rookie of the Year.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  But we can, so you and me, we can settle the Kendrick Drake, obviously Drake. Now we can settle Joel Joker. It's been settled.

• 36:24Matt McCusker?

  It's.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Joel's, he's acting like a, he's acting like a punk. In their prime, in their prime, I think Joe was a more skilled basketball player, but he might be, he might be. He's not washed. I ain't gonna say washed. He hit thirty-five last year.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  I know, I was watching, yeah, because he got called out and then everyone was making fun of him, so he tried.

• 36:42Speaker 05

  He's not washed. His knee is, he's got a bum knee.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  I hope, I, I pray for him. I hope he's.

• 36:47Matt McCusker?

  Bum knees suck. My, my knee's kinda bum right now. It's pissing me off.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 36:51Matt McCusker?

  Pissing me off.

• 36:52Speaker 05

  How you skating with a bum knee?

• 36:53Matt McCusker?

  Dude, huh?

• 36:54Speaker 05

  How you skating with a bum knee?

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Oh, is that how you bummed your knee out?

• 36:56Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no. My knee, I actually, uh, sorry, we can talk about Joel. I don't wanna get all about myself.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, I bet skating.

• 37:04Matt McCusker?

  I was just sleeping wrong. I had like a this pillow between my knees and I think that was really what was fucking it up. Or lifting. I like took two weeks off lifting. I think so.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think it's a pillow.

• 37:13Matt McCusker?

  But as soon as I switched that pillow out, it started to feel better.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  How do people receive you at the skate park?

• 37:17Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 37:17Speaker 02

  How do people receive you at the skate?

• 37:18Matt McCusker?

  Pretty good. I at first I was a little tight and I was like not dude, just going down those little ramps is hard as fuck. And then once I loosened up, I talked to a couple of the bros.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  You can take a tumble. You can be Jay Leno.

• 37:28Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I could.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  You're gonna fall on your side and be totally bruised.

• 37:31Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I I luckily I was alright. I wasn't going that big. I was just trying to like get my my feet under me. I dude, I would I didn't like think I'd be that bad. I was terrible at first.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  So hard, dude.

• 37:41Matt McCusker?

  It's so hard, but then I got I got it down. Now I'm way more comfortable. How the 180?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, the videos were nice that you sent me. I was happy about that.

• 37:48Matt McCusker?

  That or the pump track. The pump track's sick. Dude, I for real, I skate.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  You going today?

• 37:53Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 37:53Speaker 02

  You going today?

• 37:54Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna try. I'd like to.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck.

• 37:56Matt McCusker?

  But dude, skating's fucking sick, man. I did it for I did it for two hours the one afternoon. I dude, I think I burnt like 850 calories. It's crazy.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  That's gotta be intense though, getting there. If people are there, you skate in front of people?

• 38:08Matt McCusker?

  I was scared and then I once I really got loose.

• 38:11Speaker 03

  If you falling and the wind knocked out of you in front of like a family, by yourself, just ugh.

• 38:15Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the skaters are very supportive, dude.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  They'll pick you up.

• 38:18Matt McCusker?

  They'll pick you up, they'll figure you're alright. And when I when I finally landed the 180, there was a guy who was like, sick. Cause I tried for an hour and a half to land the 180.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  That's what it's all about. FDR is fucking douchebag central.

• 38:28Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  FDR?

• 38:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  I was like eight years old. So dude like checked me. I was like, dude, what the fuck?

• 38:34Speaker 03

  What about the Tampa Am?

• 38:35Speaker 02

  I don't know shit about Tampa Am. That's Beezerville.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  You don't know Tampa Am?

• 38:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Fucking idiot.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  That's Beezerville.

• 38:40Matt McCusker?

  There is a it's funny though, cause there are like.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Heard Beezer rode a scooter at the Tampa Am.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Yo, do not put smut on the bees.

• 38:48Matt McCusker?

  I already bladed something crazy at the Tampa Am.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Beezer landed a reverse. Uh, I forget what he said. It's great. I forget what it was. It was awesome.

• 38:57Matt McCusker?

  You ever had a ripstick?

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Oh, Connor hit him with the Kamala could land a reverse whatever on you at the Tampa Am and he was like, I'd fucking kill that bitch.

• 39:06Speaker 03

  He was hammered talking up there by him.

• 39:09Matt McCusker?

  It was funny to do an activity where there was like a child there too. It was like me, there was a guy's my age and there was like slightly younger. There was this one kid there who was like maybe 11.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  My balls.

• 39:18Matt McCusker?

  Dude, this 11 year old kept doing this thing where he would go up the ramp and then he would just not even worry about skateboarding. He would try to launch himself as high as he could.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  I used to do that shit when I was little.

• 39:27Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was the funniest fucking thing.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Do you start tapping your skateboard on the rail?

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  I didn't tap. I almost tapped one time. A guy did like a pretty nasty hard flip and I was like, I'm not gonna tap.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  I can't talk skate. I don't know anything about it.

• 39:38Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 39:38Speaker 03

  All I want to think about is Jared McCain's TikToks.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  It's the only thing that's going on in my brain right now. I can't figure it out.

• 39:45Matt McCusker?

  I fully support him though. It is nice. It's your anima recognizing his liberated anima and you're going.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  I loved it when he was a Duke. I was going, I wanted to hate it.

• 39:53Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 39:54Speaker 03

  The first TikTok I saw, I was like, what the fuck? I watched the whole thing. I was like, yeah. What else does he have in here?

• 40:01Matt McCusker?

  He's watched all of them.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Did he hit the orangutan on there? Just.

• 40:07Matt McCusker?

  I love that gif.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Come to me.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's. Me and Dini been getting it in at night. Pause.

• 40:14Matt McCusker?

  What'd he say?

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Me and Dini been getting it in at night.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  They hit the duty together.

• 40:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you guys been playing duty?

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:21Matt McCusker?

  You guys are some duty bandits.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Some late night duty bandits.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  Our girlfriends, our girlfriends are asleep. Sean, are you awake?

• 40:31Speaker 02

  No, I don't do that.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Sean, are you?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  I do the exact opposite, brother.

• 40:35Matt McCusker?

  Scream.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've, I've played.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  I had people in the lobby scream right now, bro. They, and if they can't scream, they're pussy. I'll scream all I want. Scream. I can't, dude. My fucking kids are sleeping. Fucking scream, pussy. Do you run this household? Scream.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  You screamed the entire time.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  I fuck around the whole time.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  You know what? I've, I've played duty with him. He screams the entire fucking time. Every single time he gets, he gets killed 50 times.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  That's my rule and no one follows it.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  He sprints at everyone with an RPG and he gets killed and he goes, fuck. One second later.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  That's my rule. I try to get in the lobby. I say, anyone on our team, if you get killed, you have to scream like it's real life.

• 41:15Speaker 06

  It is real life.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  That's fun though, when that happens.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Matt McCusker?

  What time do you play until? When do you, when do you call it?

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Oh, we had a few sessions that were until like 12.

• 41:24Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's not bad.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  He was telling me his, his session. He's like, if I put in a good session, it's three hours.

• 41:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  It's like, that's child's play.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  On duty, it's a whole different story though.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  Literally child's play. That's, I didn't, that's, I didn't even game today.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Three hours, I didn't even game.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  It's intense on duty though.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  I had a day off of work. I hit the fucking banner lord. I charged it back up.

• 41:43Matt McCusker?

  Did you really?

• 41:45Speaker 03

  12 hours.

• 41:45Matt McCusker?

  How was your realm?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Blew a fucking vessel in my eye. I was just fucking staring at the screen.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  You didn't blink?

• 41:52Speaker 03

  I didn't blink for a day.

• 41:54Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you did a 12 hour session on the banner lord?

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Banner lord, yeah, it was, it was really fucked up.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Oh, you play against the computer like a motherfucker.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  It was, it was really fucking weird what I did.

• 42:03Matt McCusker?

  Taking on deep blue.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  I'm 28.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Cause it was, three days into college, two lectures behind. This guy, let's name him Billy, says he wants to be mine.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  How's the kingdom?

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Kingdom's good right now.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Does it freeze when you buy, does any like commerce go on?

• 42:20Speaker 03

  It freezes.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Okay, thank God.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  I could leave it running for a weekend, just let my, let my caravans do their, do their bidding. But what if, what if we got invaded while I was going?

• 42:28Speaker 02

  True.

• 42:29Matt McCusker?

  Is it online?

• 42:30Speaker 03

  No.

• 42:32Matt McCusker?

  Just a cop.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  It's just me sitting in a room, playing against the machine.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  We had NHL in college. And there was a kid, we had live and there was a kid who would just play against the computer and flip and go, this is how you get better. Fucking lives cheat. That's fucking.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  You hit the spaz last night in Madden.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  You tried to take advantage of me last night in Madden.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  I fucking rage quit constantly.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  He, yeah, he tried to take advantage of me.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  I just exited game.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  I was just.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Shane got another pick. I was like, exit game, done. I'm done playing.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Spaz, exited as fast as he could. It's, it's pretty funny.

• 43:03Matt McCusker?

  People do try to take advantage of you when you're in an ebriatic state.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Soder took advantage of me.

• 43:06Matt McCusker?

  Did he really?

• 43:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, he beat, he finally beat me in NCAA when I got, he's a sober man too.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  He's a sober man.

• 43:12Matt McCusker?

  He was sharking on you.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  He got me at the end of the night and I was nasty about it.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Shane would immediately start saying all sorts of mean shit when you start beating him.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Like what?

• 43:20Speaker 02

  You're the cheapest guy in the fucking game. You're so gay. You run the same play every fucking time.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  I mean, that's how you get people to get off their game.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  I do the same shit though.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  It's, it works every time.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Five and out.

• 43:30Matt McCusker?

  It is funny though, having like someone sober praying, like praying on you like you pray on a woman, just be like, well, come on. Let's go back to your place.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Do one more shot.

• 43:37Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Yeah. Come on, man.

• 43:38Matt McCusker?

  Come on.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Let's play.

• 43:39Matt McCusker?

  Fine, we're not gonna play any. I just wanna hang out, we're not gonna play any games.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  I'll be Michigan, I'll be Michigan, I know you hate Michigan. Yeah, I hate Michigan, I'll play against Michigan. I was down like thirty to Soder and I was like, you feel good about this? And he was like, no dude, I don't, this sucks. Let's go to bed. I was like, yeah, exactly. We went to bed, I was like, you quit?

• 44:00Matt McCusker?

  I win.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, Soder, I know I've definitely said it before, but it was making me cry the other day. Like, I literally was crying laughing about it with, because I was telling Jay about it. Because when me and Soder played each other, he was up like twenty and he was finally gonna win.

• 44:18Matt McCusker?

  Was this on the stream, you're saying?

• 44:19Speaker 03

  No, this was after.

• 44:20Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  And we're sitting there and DeRosa comes in and sits next to Soder and is like, Shane's right, your guys are blocking way better than his. And he was like, shut the fuck up, DeRosa. And I came back and he missed an extra point and lost. And when he finished, he put his controller down, DeRosa was sitting next to him, he goes, "Oh!" It was the craziest pass I've ever seen.

• 44:44Matt McCusker?

  Was he serious?

• 44:45Speaker 03

  He was totally serious.

• 44:47Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  And Soder goes, "Oh!" I was like, what the fuck was that?

• 44:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  It was so good, DeRosa was like, jeez, man. What DeRosa's bitch ass. He's like, you wouldn't do that to other people. Five hours later, he's still going.

• 45:12Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  It was awesome.

• 45:14Matt McCusker?

  That's such a good expression of a video game's pass. "Oh!"

• 45:18Speaker 03

  It was so funny, especially from Soder. He does it, he hits the hardest video game passes of anyone.

• 45:25Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny, dude.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  A punch table.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Fucking.

• 45:32Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my God.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  So good. Yeah.

• 45:36Matt McCusker?

  I can get him, dude. I get if I lose.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you hit the funniest.

• 45:39Matt McCusker?

  Run away. I run away.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  You literally run away.

• 45:46Matt McCusker?

  I gotta hide my face, dude.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  It's like you ever see a video of a little black kid losing video games? He starts crying playing the controller.

• 45:55Matt McCusker?

  It sucks when you lose.

• 45:58Matt McCusker?

  It sucks so bad.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  We used to have losing the computer in Bannerlord after you've been playing for 12 hours. When you lose everything, you go, what the fuck did I do today?

• 46:09Speaker 03

  Remember I played FIFA? I'd play FIFA for a week straight without getting up. I'd get fired. Get an email on the video game be like, you're done, dude. You gotta go outside.

• 46:22Matt McCusker?

  That'd be funny. You like text but in the game, but about real life and be like, dude, it's your mom. What the fuck are you doing? The fuck is this? This is bullshit, dude. Shut the fuck up.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  How come you're not married?

• 46:31Matt McCusker?

  The fuck?

• 46:32Speaker 03

  I'm trying to bring Norwich. The prem.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  We used to have an N64 in our unfinished basement. That was fucking scary.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  Everyone had an N64 in unfinished.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Not N64, it was Super Nintendo or any S4000. But they would all play it. Whatever Mortal Kombat was on, maybe a Genesis as well. And I would never be able to play. And then when everyone was away, I would sneak down.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  That's nice.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  Someone would catch me, turn the lights off and I'd be like, fuck! It's like good upstairs.

• 47:01Matt McCusker?

  That basement was terrifying, dude.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:03Matt McCusker?

  It was a cement dungeon. There were spiders in the little like water gaps. There was these big wolf spiders.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  That sucks.

• 47:09Matt McCusker?

  I see. Yeah, I wouldn't be caught.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Lights out while gaming.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Fed got PS1, though, on a mad one. Like, one day I rolled up in their room and he just had PS1 on TV. I was like, what the fuck? Cool Borders, the best game of all time.

• 47:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  It's pretty good.

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  Easily. I forget. Yeah, Cool Borders one and two was, I think two might have been better than one. Three was bullshit.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Whatever one you go, you could be the alien was sick.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  Echo the Dolphin on Sega.

• 47:32Matt McCusker?

  You fucked with Echo?

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. I never got out of the first level.

• 47:36Matt McCusker?

  That's exactly what I got.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  Sat there for a day.

• 47:39Matt McCusker?

  It's vibed out?

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Being a dolphin swimmer.

• 47:41Matt McCusker?

  That's so sick, dude.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Killing jellyfish with my nose.

• 47:44Matt McCusker?

  That's so sick.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  I really don't understand this game.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Have you ever played The Bully?

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  That was a great game.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  That game was awesome.

• 47:51Speaker 02

  What was it? The Bully. What'd you do? The rock star.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  It was like, uh, it was Grand Theft Auto, except you were just a bad kid at a

• 47:58Speaker 02

  What?

• 47:58Speaker 03

  School, yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  It's great.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  It's a good game.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Sounds awesome.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  It was.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  I just got Fusion Frenzy.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Played cool music when you rode, rode bikes?

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  Do you remember that?

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, that fucking game was amazing.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Fusion Frenzy's sick. I tried to play it with Ben and she hated it.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  We can hit it.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  We can hit Fusion Frenzy today.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  This game sucks. It's like, it fucking rules. When you go in the washer, I love that.

• 48:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's easily one of the best games, actually.

• 48:20Speaker 02

  Xbox controllers were fucking nuts. Original Xbox controllers were fucking massive, dude. They're just big Chunguses. You had to like, hold it like this.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was, I despised them.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  I got, somebody made fun of me for that controller.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  Why?

• 48:34Speaker 03

  On the internet. It said my name on it.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Can't be proud of yourself?

• 48:38Speaker 03

  I'm not, that is psychotic.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  How's it psychotic?

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Have a picture of yourself? It was a gift. I'm not, yeah, what am I gonna do?

• 48:44Speaker 02

  What, you gonna rip it off?

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  You hurt yourself?

• 48:46Matt McCusker?

  That would be psychotic to scratch your face off a controller.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  After I, after I lose a game, just, I don't even deserve this.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  That's like Red Dragon.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  We need to get UFC, we need to get UFC going.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Fuck UFC.

• 48:59Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  Been so, have you guys been playing at all? I haven't played at all.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  I haven't played.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Ooh, guard dog.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  I have.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  You have?

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Guard dog speaks heavy.

• 49:07Matt McCusker?

  You guys are partying, one of the guard dogs been training.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  You guys have, yeah, you guys have been out fucking around and guard dogs.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  He didn't tell us he was training. Just trying to get good.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Wait, which one of you guys, when are you getting good on the ground in that?

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Nate.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Little bitch ass.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Why my bitch ass? That's cause, that's how, I think that's how I got you.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  You never got, I mean, you definitely never got me.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  Let's, get fighting, dude. Fuck ground and pound.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  There's a new boxing game that's apparently pretty good.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  It's all, it's all right.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  Is it good?

• 49:33Speaker 02

  It's okay.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. UFC's the best.

• 49:35Matt McCusker?

  I can't wait till, uh, Logan Paul or Jake Paul comes out with his boxing game. Him in the elderly.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Which is him knocking out Asians on a subway.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Sweet, dude. You showed them.

• 49:47Matt McCusker?

  We solved the crime. We know who, who was doing it all that time. That was fucking horrendous.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  I think Tyson Daddy fucking chilled though. First round, I was like, fuck Jake Paul's gonna get knocked the fuck out.

• 49:59Matt McCusker?

  Alright.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  And then Tyson just put the brakes on, started moving all crazy.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  I don't think.

• 50:03Matt McCusker?

  He was so shaky, that was the thing. Like, at first, he was throwing those punches and there was the thing in the clinch where people, like, he saw Tyson tap his head and people thought like that was Paul being like, yo chill, or you're not gonna get the bag. But he was also, he was like shaky.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Would they be able to withhold the bag if he won? There's no way.

• 50:19Speaker 06

  Stipulations that if he won, he would be paid less money than he'd.

• 50:23Matt McCusker?

  There's.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  There's no way.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  The whole way.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  There's no way they made that public.

• 50:29Matt McCusker?

  Check that, that might be Blueski information.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  That might be Blueski Russian disinformation.

• 50:32Matt McCusker?

  No, I've, or, or just X too.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  Jake Paul kinda beat the shit out of Mike Tyson and nobody's willing to admit that.

• 50:39Matt McCusker?

  He could, he could have taken his head off. He could have taken his head off if he wanted to.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Would have killed him if like they were fighting, fighting. Jake Paul had seventy punches, landed seventy, Mike Tyson only landed six.

• 50:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was onk first upon.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Dude, like, I would beat the fuck out of my dad right now.

• 50:54Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 50:55Speaker 02

  I would beat the fuck out of my dad in a boxing match. Obviously. The fact that he didn't get knocked down in the first round is crazy.

• 51:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, it was, towards the end, that was the one thing, it was honorable that he didn't just take Tyson's head off. I think he was gonna become an ultimate goblin if he did, because he could have knocked him out. I think at least he could.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  I just hate the code switching they do is fucking crazy. The Paul, the code switching the Pauls do confuses.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  What'd he do?

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Mike Tyson was in the ring afterwards, like, oh, your next Logan Paul, Logan Paul's like, I kill you motherfucker. It was fucking bizarre. It's like, dude, you're from Ohio. Why are you talking like that?

• 51:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but I feel like if you're a YouTuber for that long, I think you're allowed to.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  What?

• 51:36Matt McCusker?

  After like ten years of being like a YouTuber, you can just say, you can talk however you want.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  That's, yeah, it's fucking, those dudes.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  It's like Puerto Ricans in New York.

• 51:43Matt McCusker?

  Exactly. There you go.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  Their grandfather did.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Filipinos in LA. Okay.

• 51:49Matt McCusker?

  It grabs the algorithm. Grabs the algorithm.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Maybe. That's, yeah, that might just be the best fucking.

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  It is funny for me to be like.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Jake Paul would fuck you up, dude.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Dude, I have a gun. He can fucking fight all he wants. Shut up. Oh, you're a black belt jujitsu?

• 52:07Matt McCusker?

  Sure. Pull that thing out.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Oh, you're a karate master?

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna kill someone cold blood?

• 52:13Speaker 02

  There's no reason. You can sit there all day long and fucking fight all you want, you're just gonna get neck kinks and shit. It sucks.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  You wanna wrestle dudes, you're gonna be hurt all the time.

• 52:25Matt McCusker?

  Here's the thing, say you're at a bar, people start acting up and you get to fucking. Everyone in front of your baby, you have to go. Stop dude.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  I will say killing so much jujitsu at a bar seems kind of fucking lame.

• 52:37Matt McCusker?

  That's the whole point of it.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Like on the ground, rolling with a guy.

• 52:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. No, he's choke him, he go.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Just tap dude, just tap man.

• 52:44Matt McCusker?

  I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this, I've been looking forward to this secretly my whole life, I don't wanna do this.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  Get somebody in a triangle, yeah. Get an armbar on the ground and then his friend comes up and just goes.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Right on your face while you're like, you're stop.

• 52:57Matt McCusker?

  In the fucking head. But then your jits bros are gonna be there to be like, stop.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Jits bros will fucking.

• 53:01Matt McCusker?

  Lucky I don't have my fucking geek.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  The jits, the jits bros at the fucking mothership would go nuts.

• 53:06Matt McCusker?

  They would.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  Every single fucking security guy in there is like a mutant.

• 53:10Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  I was at, I was at.

• 53:12Matt McCusker?

  Why you need a gun?

• 53:13Speaker 03

  If a homeless guy.

• 53:13Matt McCusker?

  Fucking dangerous jujitsu man out there.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  Comes in there, he's getting every limb broken. He's getting wrestling.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  William Wallace in fucking Braveheart.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Ten fucking jujitsu dudes to go rip apart.

• 53:26Matt McCusker?

  There was for real a giant one in the little boy room, there was this giant man who was being a problem and I watched three of the bouncers just like, this guy was huge dude, I was, it was like, I was like, fuck, I would be terrified to fight this guy. And there was like two or three of them looked at each other like, it's go time. And I was like, damn, these dudes are a fucker. I would have been like, I'm not touching this fucking guy. He was massive. They got him up and like walked him out of the room and I was like.

• 53:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they were ready dude, they were like, they were like gearing up and I was like, dude, this is kind of scary, you guys are the real deal. Huge dude.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Dude, what, the mothership guys?

• 53:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  They're all like 10th planet or whatever. They all like the best in the world.

• 53:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. They were, you could tell they were kinda like, looked at each other like, we might, if we have to fight this guy.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Does make you feel kinda fucking gay as a comedian.

• 54:06Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 54:07Speaker 03

  Like, you see the scare, you go like, they're like troops. You walk up to them, you're like, hey man.

• 54:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you feel, you feel like a girl.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  I mean, I have a big day. I have to do comedy.

• 54:16Matt McCusker?

  I got this new joke.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Dude, when I was there the last time, dude said what's up to me.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Who?

• 54:20Speaker 02

  I don't know, the security guards, listening to the fucking.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Oh, they're fucking definitely tapped in.

• 54:24Matt McCusker?

  Brother?

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:25Matt McCusker?

  Real man.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  They're good bros.

• 54:26Matt McCusker?

  That's why I'm friends with the jujitsu guys, but if they ever rise up.

• 54:30Speaker 03

  You have a gun.

• 54:31Matt McCusker?

  Stop.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  You get a James Bond.

• 54:32Matt McCusker?

  Get off my leg. Shoot them right in the back.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Fuck off my leg.

• 54:37Matt McCusker?

  You think they let you practice in the studio, like pulling out on them, just while they're wrestling?

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:42Matt McCusker?

  Obviously pause.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Obviously pause, but. No, they, they train for fucking dudes with guns.

• 54:47Matt McCusker?

  Do they?

• 54:48Speaker 03

  They have those, you know those things you punch, they're like the, what are those things?

• 54:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the, the, yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  The jack guys?

• 54:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  They have those holding guns.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Just hit him with one of these, bet you didn't see this coming.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm never gonna tap.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  You can armbar me?

• 55:06Matt McCusker?

  Shoot myself in the ass right now.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Now you have to clean me up, idiot.

• 55:08Matt McCusker?

  Let me take out my butt.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  I'm about to ruin your whole bar.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  There's dudes who do that.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  What?

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Uh, there's a fucking, uh, gun store near my parents' house where like dudes will roll in, buy a gun, be like, thanks, where's your bathroom at? Go to the bathroom? Shooting.

• 55:21Matt McCusker?

  In the bathroom, they've done it?

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:23Matt McCusker?

  In the, you're talking about the master?

• 55:25Speaker 02

  And then they have to clean it up.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, people don't talk about that enough.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  They just go in, buy a gun, go into the bathroom, done.

• 55:33Matt McCusker?

  You know, I peed myself at that, that, uh, gun range bathroom when I was a little boy. My papa took me shooting.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Recently, I pissed the bed recently.

• 55:40Matt McCusker?

  If you're talking about the same gun place, you pissed the bed recently?

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Stone cold sober. I just had a dream I was peeing. I was like, what the?

• 55:45Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I've been, I've been like peeing in dreams and not peeing the bed. It's been crazy.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  It comes for you.

• 55:51Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 55:51Speaker 02

  At one point, it comes for you.

• 55:53Matt McCusker?

  I look, don't get me wrong, I've done it as an adult.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  And then I got caught too.

• 55:56Matt McCusker?

  You got busted?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Cause I ran out, took off my boxers and came back in and put it down on the bed and went to see if she's like, what the fuck did you just do? I was like, nothing. She's like, did you pee? It's like, yes.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I peed my pants.

• 56:07Matt McCusker?

  I only peed, I peed a little bit. It was a tiny little bit.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's nothing wrong with pissing your pants.

• 56:11Matt McCusker?

  It's just a little bit.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Well, man, I know you've pissed your pants recently.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  No, but I fucking, I got drenched, I was sick and I got fucking, I drenched a bed in sweat.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Sweat, yeah. That's the best.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  He's a pool dude.

• 56:26Matt McCusker?

  I love that dude, waking up with a fever and just being like, just soaking wet. I fucking love that shit.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  I actually, I actually, I actually kind of agree, that is nice. Especially you take a nap while you're sick, wake up, you just ruin the couch.

• 56:38Matt McCusker?

  Yep, fucking awesome. Then you get like real, you're hot, you're chilly and you wake up and you're wet, you're really chilly and you take off your wet clothes and get coffee under the blanket.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Yep. Break this.

• 56:46Speaker 02

  I love a good rea. If you have like a day long rea fest where you're just fucking, everything's coming out, I feel like it's good for me.

• 56:52Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  I do too, but then you get stuck with like a three day re fest.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  A what?

• 56:57Speaker 03

  A three day.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Oh, re fest, yeah. That's where the bidet comes in huge. If you have paper towels on your asshole and you have a fucking re fest, it's over.

• 57:04Matt McCusker?

  Yo, baby wipes.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  No baby wipes.

• 57:07Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you dude.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  It's how you clog the toilet.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  Throw them in the trash can.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  That's foul, bro.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Throw them in like my cream box.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Put your shit it up, baby wipes in the fucking toilet.

• 57:14Matt McCusker?

  Wrap them up, then you throw something on top of them, so no one sees your shitty little surprise, your shitty little secret.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Get a bidet.

• 57:19Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 57:20Speaker 03

  Get a bidet.

• 57:20Matt McCusker?

  And also, I, dude, yeah, but my kids will turn them on and shoot it everywhere.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Put a child lock on it.

• 57:26Matt McCusker?

  Then I'm not gonna be able to wipe my goddamn ass with the thing, dude.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  You can probably get one that's on an app.

• 57:30Matt McCusker?

  Dude, then I gotta, well, I already have my, I'm not gonna pretend I don't have my phone out while I'm shitting, but I don't have to look at my phone, dude, I don't want screen time. I have so many fucking things in my house that require me to look at my phone, it's kind of annoying.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like none of them ever work.

• 57:43Matt McCusker?

  They all suck, every time. It's bullshit. There's a bullshit app with every fucking product now, they're like, you ought to log into this, it's like, dude.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  I do it with an ear cleaner, it's so awesome. The ear, the ear cleaner with the fucking camera.

• 57:54Matt McCusker?

  It's a what?

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Oh dude, it's the best. It's definitely just selling all your, all your data, some Chinese company, but you turn it on, it connects to your phone, it has a camera and you go in there and just scrape out your wax, dude. I took one out where it was literally just like, a whole thing in my ear, like the, got there, got in there, ripped it all out.

• 58:11Matt McCusker?

  You think the Chinese government's got your wax, they're going, oh.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  Absolutely. There was just some huge data breach with, um.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  Barry McCusky.

• 58:17Matt McCusker?

  China.

• 58:17Speaker 02

  Barry McCusky, waxey.

• 58:21Matt McCusker?

  You think they caught you, they got you on wax, they're like, uh, sir, what do you think about that? He goes, wax on.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, we got hacked.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  We got hacked. We got hacked by China. They hacked our telecoms.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Well, by a booger corporation?

• 58:32Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Fucking Trump, dude.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  They hacked our, they hacked it probably a couple of years ago and they've been remaining dormant and they've been collecting information on like a hundred.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  What, like four years ago?

• 58:44Speaker 04

  Probably before that.

• 58:48Speaker 04

  They hacked our old infrastructure because we have all these backdoors so we can spy on people. Alright, that's it.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that happened. I think Joe Biden's son Hunter was over there and he got a diamond from a very rich Chinese man. Little quid pro Joe was over there doing some bad dealings.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Big guy.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Really? Ten percent. Oh dude, O'Connor fucking tried to hit me with ten, he's like, why isn't?

• 59:10Speaker 03

  O'Connor owns us, dude.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  Why, why isn't fucking Biden going to jail? I was like, they only referred to him as the big guy. I was like, so since they say the big guy can't go to jail, I was like, yeah, they're not naming the guy. They're just saying the big guy.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was a good argument. He was, he had us.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  That's fucking annoying, yeah.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  He was like, well, he would go to jail if he was guilty.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  That's it. Trump's getting arrested.

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Because he's guilty. Biden's not because he's innocent.

• 59:32Speaker 02

  Thirty-four count, thirty-four felonies. Do you like Harry Sisson, Dean Weathers and those boys?

• 59:37Speaker 04

  Who?

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Harry Sisson, Dean Weathers and those boys?

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Those fellows, I'm sorry.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  This will fucking.

• 59:44Speaker 04

  Oh, I don't like young Dems. Young Dems are so fucking gay.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  There you go. You're true, you're true bluesky.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  Blue no matter who.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Put that on bluesky. Fire it up.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  Where is this video? This video infuriates me. I feel like they're destroying me. You can keep talking.

• 1:00:03Matt McCusker?

  No, I want to see what you're talking about.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  I'm trying to find it.

• 1:00:06Matt McCusker?

  Can't believe China has your ears waxed.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Dude, it's the best. You like cleaning your ears?

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  It's very nice.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  I do it too much.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  You can see it.

• 1:00:14Matt McCusker?

  I just, I just dug in last night. It was pretty nice.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  It's nice.

• 1:00:16Matt McCusker?

  Especially when I'm like, I can go a little further.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  You forget about it for a while and then you get in there and you go, holy schniki.

• 1:00:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and you go.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  When you just get an orange Q-tip coming out, you're like, yo, what the fuck?

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta hide that.

• 1:00:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  If the lady sees that, it's really, really gross.

• 1:00:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, yeah. That's the worst one. I'll like wipe my ass in the shower with a wet towel and every now and again, Brittany will peer over the ledge and be like, oh my, I'm like, dude, how about you give me some fucking privacy?

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  You have shit on your ass in the shower like that?

• 1:00:41Matt McCusker?

  Sometimes my ass is kind of fucked up. Yeah. If I'm like, I like wiped and I'm like, mm, I'm gonna have the showers on that one.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  The oil slick.

• 1:00:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. It's like rainbow, it's like rainbowing all the thing.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  Here's the, here's the mid.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Dock covered in it.

• 1:00:55Matt McCusker?

  Bring me the dawn.

• 1:00:56Speaker 07

  Chronic disease in the United States is increasing is not because of chemicals in the food. Okay, as Donald Trump takes power and we're all reeling from the fact that this psychopath is gonna be in office, some of the most misinformation that we're gonna have to fight against together is health related. RFK Junior is an environmental lawyer, not a doctor. Listen to the doctors. You know why chronic disease in the United States is, is rising is because of obesity. Whoa, Chris, why is obesity going up? If the government's doing their job, capitalism. Everybody has more money than ever in the most complex, well put together society ever on the face of the planet. Look at where I'm sitting. I'm sitting in a vehicle where small explosions in the back will propel me forward to the nearest fucking McDonald's, where I can get a meal that's very, uh.

• 1:01:34Matt McCusker?

  So you're saying we're too damn rich, that's why we have, we have obesity?

• 1:01:36Speaker 07

  And I can do it cheaply and in like five minutes.

• 1:01:38Matt McCusker?

  Such a dumb argument.

• 1:01:40Speaker 07

  Education, I don't know, eat a diet that consists of.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Turn this clown off.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Turn this fucking clown off.

• 1:01:47Matt McCusker?

  It's the dumbest argument I've ever heard in my fucking life.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, also explosions in cars happen in the engine, not in the muffler, you fucking pussy.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Could have been a Lamborghini.

• 1:02:04Matt McCusker?

  Lamborghini's fucking.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  True, I didn't know. Yeah, that was crazy. That kid pissed me the fuck off.

• 1:02:12Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy, man, it's not chemicals, it's because we have so much money.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  But I did comment on it, say thank you so much for saying this, finally some sense.

• 1:02:18Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you know who I've been getting fired up? On Instagram, that whenever there's like, this lady comes up on my feed and she is a, I believe a mask, a traditional mask lesbian.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:02:29Matt McCusker?

  And she comes on the feed and puts on different fits and everyone's like, beautiful, you're looking, and it's.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:34Matt McCusker?

  I only ever give her big ups, I'm always like, fire, fire fucking outfit. It's kinda nice. I just gas her up.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  You just trying to get finned on by someone?

• 1:02:42Matt McCusker?

  No, no, no, no, I just, everyone's so fucking mean. I've been seeing, it's like a cringe compilation thing.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  All day, dude.

• 1:02:49Matt McCusker?

  What was that?

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Margaret's fucked.

• 1:02:51Matt McCusker?

  What is it?

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  A lot of guitars, that's pretty clean right now, honestly.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  You've gotten into guitars.

• 1:02:54Matt McCusker?

  Not gonna lie.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Kenny Towers, guitars, wet dog.

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Pretty clean.

• 1:02:57Matt McCusker?

  I just feel bad, you go on like the cringe videos, everyone's being so nasty.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, love that.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  See what she's up to.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Love it.

• 1:03:05Matt McCusker?

  What is that?

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  I've been getting crushed with like, public riz videos and shit, they kill me.

• 1:03:10Matt McCusker?

  Public riz are nice. Oh, excuse you.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Those Indian riz videos are nice.

• 1:03:14Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:03:14Speaker 03

  The Indian riz videos?

• 1:03:15Matt McCusker?

  What's your, oh, oh, yeah.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  They have like, one girl and then, yeah, it's nice.

• 1:03:20Matt McCusker?

  I like the Indian street food gross out compilation.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, just grabbing shit with their hand.

• 1:03:24Matt McCusker?

  So fucking funny. Huh?

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  They're foul.

• 1:03:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Dirty country.

• 1:03:30Matt McCusker?

  Pretty bad stuff.

• 1:03:31Speaker 02

  Please like and subscribe to my video.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  What else is going on, guys?

• 1:03:34Matt McCusker?

  Uh, pretty much that, man. Dude, I've been doing school visits. Like, looking at different schools now. Hey. The one, dude, I went to one.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  I'm just thinking about McCain, dude.

• 1:03:44Matt McCusker?

  I went to this one school and it was like, uh, it, you know, it's like, kind of like, uh, it's like an alternative. They have like a different, whole different like approach of stuff. And they had like, they're like, these trees, they're, these are climbing trees with the kids climbing the climbing trees. It's good for their core. And dude, there's this guy, four people or like, six people on tour. This one dad would go, yes, oh, yes.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:04:05Matt McCusker?

  So important. They had marbles in the math class, like, we want to give them a tactile sensory experience along with the math. And the guy goes,

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  Rich Altucher.

• 1:04:13Matt McCusker?

  Swear to God, he was going, oh, yes, oh, that's so great. And I, we'll get Brittany like.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  It's Adderall, bro.

• 1:04:19Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Probably.

• 1:04:20Matt McCusker?

  I don't.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, fuck yeah.

• 1:04:21Matt McCusker?

  Well, it's.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  That's really great.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  Holy fuck, they're trees.

• 1:04:29Matt McCusker?

  Maybe it was Adderall, I don't know what it was. It was the craziest reaction I've ever heard. I was like, dude. The what?

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  You get pumped up about shit on Adderall.

• 1:04:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I think it was with the school. I think it was like, everything they'd say, it, I guess it felt good, but it, oh, it's so great.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's so important.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  It is so important.

• 1:04:45Matt McCusker?

  We love the child, oh, yes, so good. It was crazy.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  I'm convinced that guy had a butt plug in.

• 1:04:51Matt McCusker?

  Do you have, why do you have to butt plug in?

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  That's one of the ten percent.

• 1:04:54Matt McCusker?

  That's one of the ten percent. We are the ten percent.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was probably covering his tracks. He was probably going, oh yeah, so, oh yeah.

• 1:05:04Matt McCusker?

  True, his wife might have hit him with a surge. His wife might have been in the pocketbook going, buzzing him up.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  Do you watch the new Dune?

• 1:05:11Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  The new Dune show?

• 1:05:14Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  It's fucking so good.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  Saving myself from the movies.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  I've been killing women-written shows. The Penguin?

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  The Penguin.

• 1:05:21Matt McCusker?

  Is that women-written?

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Penguin is so fucking good, dude.

• 1:05:24Matt McCusker?

  Is it really?

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  It's awesome. You're a hater.

• 1:05:26Matt McCusker?

  Did you fuck with H O D?

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  H-

• 1:05:28Matt McCusker?

  House of Dragons?

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Nah, I- I'm gonna get back on it. I- I just, I kinda fell off, honestly.

• 1:05:33Matt McCusker?

  So you're addicted to powerful hero- heroines?

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  No, not necessarily. They're just women writers.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  You're gonna love Wicked.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  I didn't want, I'm not watching Wicked, but did you see the dolls? They- they fucking put a bunch of dolls out for like Wicked, Barbie or whatever, and it said wicked.com on the back, and like that's OG porn shit. So all these people are trying to find the dolls, going to wicked.com.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Only to see Jenna Jameson's huge tits.

• 1:06:00Matt McCusker?

  That's wicked.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  That is. I, dude, we went on a-

• 1:06:03Matt McCusker?

  Who's Jenna Jameson married to? Isn't she married to like a, an actor right now or something? I think she's like a-

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  I'm not sure.

• 1:06:10Matt McCusker?

  I was, I just, I got a requ- I got a guest request through my email and it was like, and his wife.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  We went to Florida when I was fucking fourteen, fifteen. Do you know the computers that used to be in the hotels? Like in the lobby?

• 1:06:21Matt McCusker?

  Yes, the center?

• 1:06:23Speaker 02

  I would cry, we, me and my cousin went over to it, immediately went on Google Images, Jenna Jameson naked, and then some dude rolled down, we bounced. The hotel I stayed at, Williamsport, you missed out on that one.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  It was a heist, dude.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  They had a fucking computer in the lobby, but I was haunted as fuck, bro. Also, Gardini, that hotel we stayed at in St. Louis, haunted.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  I actually looked it up and there was like beds moving and shit.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really? What?

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:47Matt McCusker?

  It was really haunted looking.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  It was fucking creepy as shit, dude. I was scared as F.

• 1:06:52Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  The house I'm in now is-

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  This one?

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  No, the-

• 1:06:55Matt McCusker?

  Your house is haunted up there?

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  We're in Westchester.

• 1:06:57Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  It's not, though.

• 1:06:59Matt McCusker?

  I think it is.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  There's nothing that's happened.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  You love the haunt, bro.

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  He does.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  You live for the fucking haunt.

• 1:07:05Speaker 03

  You know, I love spooky stuff.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Did you ever watch a documentary on Hulu?

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  About the dude who had the fucking legit haunted house.

• 1:07:13Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  He didn't have a haunted house.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  He was just torturing people.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Torture people, but you would sign a waiver and he referred to it as the haunt.

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  If you make it through this, I'll give you 10,000.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  He was just torturing people?

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  People would get through it and be like, no.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  He would shave your one eyebrow, yeah. Bury you alive, shave your eyebrow off, pull your tooth out.

• 1:07:29Matt McCusker?

  So he was haunting people?

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  He was giving them the haunt.

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  Literally just torturing people. It was basically like, do you want to live in the movie that Saul? He'd lock someone in his fucking house and beat the shit out of them and be like, yeah, you quit, pussy.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  They like literally bury them alive, like, oh, you're tapping, alright, don't get the 10 grand. They were just videotaping this and definitely jerking off.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  Soldier went through it, right?

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  Didn't like a marine go through it and he made it the whole way and he was like, no, I'm not paying you.

• 1:07:53Matt McCusker?

  It'd be nice to yank someone out of bed by their ankles.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Dude, like he did this shit.

• 1:07:58Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  They just call it, they all called it the haunt.

• 1:08:01Matt McCusker?

  Is it a documentary now?

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  It's very funny because the people that get tricked by it are also, they kind of have it coming.

• 1:08:07Matt McCusker?

  Ghost heads are a little weird.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  They're ghost heads, they're on the internet, they go, holy shit, this is the scariest thing ever. It's literally just a weird guy beating the shit out of you.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Like, this is so spooky.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  It is fucked up though. You're like fucking, well, try to pull your tooth out and shit.

• 1:08:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's crazy too, to call like your loved ones, like it's going great, my fucking incisor got pulled out.

• 1:08:27Speaker 03

  You can't call. It's like the fucking, uh, Monroe's.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  It's like, I was literally gonna say that. It's pretty much like the haunted, like people who are into haunts, but for Monroe, same thing.

• 1:08:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can't disrupt the haunt.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Came all the way here from fucking Germany.

• 1:08:41Matt McCusker?

  I had a spooky dream last night.

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 1:08:44Matt McCusker?

  I was on a train, they're like, do you want to take the seat on the top? And I was on the seat above the train.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  Bangladesh?

• 1:08:50Matt McCusker?

  And I was on the seat and it was like, it just turned out to be like a little swing and I was getting propelled on a train and my little tether kept going further and further. Eventually I started like swinging around power lines. I had to abandon.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  I feel like an astronaut.

• 1:09:02Matt McCusker?

  It felt like a fucking astronaut. It's fucking sick.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  I had a dream of someone died in my house and I took too long to call the cops and I had to fucking discard of the body.

• 1:09:09Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. What the fuck?

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  We need to get you boys to the Monroe's too, with dreams like these.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  I know, we gotta go back.

• 1:09:15Matt McCusker?

  It was, I was like.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  With dreams like these, who needs reality?

• 1:09:18Matt McCusker?

  True that. True. I will say, I was like, I was up like probably like 60 feet, just holding on to like swing chains, being like, I could fall the fuck out of here. And I'd experienced that terror last night. I was like, that's fucked up. I got enough problems, dude. I was like, I don't need to be propelled to like seventy-five feet in the air. Wake up and like, oh, to a kid crying, like, fuck.

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  Speaking of tumble, have we discussed Jay Leno's brewski tumble?

• 1:09:39Matt McCusker?

  No, what happened to him?

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  He took a late night brewski tumble.

• 1:09:41Speaker 02

  He said he was just gonna go eat.

• 1:09:43Speaker 03

  He's at a hotel, he hit a fucking, he's like, there's a restaurant down at the bottom of the hill.

• 1:09:46Matt McCusker?

  His chin is the hotel, okay?

• 1:09:51Matt McCusker?

  He just fucking damaged the floor.

• 1:09:53Speaker 03

  I'm, no, he went, he, I think he tried to walk outside of the hotel, down a hill to a restaurant.

• 1:09:58Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Took a big time brewski tumble, his whole, he's two-faced, he's Harvey Dent now. The whole side of his body is fucking ruined.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  He took a geez tumble, that's not a brewski tumble, that's a geezer tumble.

• 1:10:09Matt McCusker?

  A lot of geezer tumbles are brewski related, yeah.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  No, that is a brewski tumble.

• 1:10:14Speaker 02

  You said he was getting hurt before this?

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  He's been getting fucking rocked, dude. His car exploded, his fucking house, Jay Leno's been getting beat the fuck up.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  What's that movie where the guy has to keep his adrenaline up high?

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's doing that.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  What is it? Yeah, crank, he's just in the next crank. He's like, I gotta. Get in a car accident.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  I'll get to that Applebee's. Oh, fuck.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Crank's wild.

• 1:10:37Matt McCusker?

  Seeing Jay Leno drunk would be kind of exciting, but seeing him fall would be like, ass so good.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Far, he fell like.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  He fell like fifty feet.

• 1:10:46Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  He took the ultimate. It was like a princess ride, remember that dude falls in that?

• 1:10:49Matt McCusker?

  Hold up, let me see this.

• 1:10:53Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I see, I saw the face, I didn't know what the fuck it was.

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a brewski tumble. And also, he's, he's taken so many brewski tumbles and car explosions that people are calling him gay.

• 1:11:01Matt McCusker?

  Why? Why?

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  Because he keeps getting beat up and people are like, obviously this is gay prostitutes.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is the Illuminati at work.

• 1:11:08Speaker 03

  No, it's just brewski tumbles and people are like, this is the devil engaged.

• 1:11:12Matt McCusker?

  Getting your ass kicked by a gay prostitute.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  I just watched a gay dude beat someone up on Twitter, it was crazy.

• 1:11:17Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  Did you see, like, he stopped on the guy's head like this?

• 1:11:22Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  It was fucking crazy.

• 1:11:24Matt McCusker?

  What was this?

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  It was crazy, this gay dude just beat the shit out of some, his sister's boyfriend.

• 1:11:29Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  And he went over his head, the guy was talking, he's like, what'd you say?

• 1:11:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh, no.

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  And just like stepped back over him like this and just stood over him the whole time, it was fucking wild.

• 1:11:38Matt McCusker?

  The gay guy beat his ass?

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:11:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:46Matt McCusker?

  That sucks.

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta just fold it up after that and become like a pretty-

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  That's when you pull it out, pause, the gun.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  Or submit fully and pull it out.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  I've been wearing a butt plug all day.

• 1:12:00Matt McCusker?

  Fine, I'm yours now.

• 1:12:02Speaker 03

  You've defeated me in hand-to-hand combat. I am yours.

• 1:12:05Matt McCusker?

  Will you have me?

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  For what?

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Just, just when I thought I was out.

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  She pulls me right back in.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  She hates Bill Maher.

• 1:12:20Matt McCusker?

  Who?

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  Janet Jameson.

• 1:12:21Speaker 03

  Janet Jameson hates Bill Maher?

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  Hates him.

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  Who gives a fuck?

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Says he's a piece of shit.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  Why?

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  Just said he's a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:12:27Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  Known for the Playboy Mansion, Kid Love Productions. It's company's name.

• 1:12:33Matt McCusker?

  That is a production, that is a company's name. I've heard that before.

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  Is what it is.

• 1:12:37Matt McCusker?

  Kid Love Productions, that's a fair question.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  What's Shannon Sharp's, um, podcast? Club Shasha.

• 1:12:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:42Speaker 02

  I was thinking Club Random, Club Shasha.

• 1:12:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, two different fucking clubs, dude.

• 1:12:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. Did you see he had the Hawk Tua girl on?

• 1:12:50Matt McCusker?

  I saw Bill, I saw Bill Maher.

• 1:12:51Speaker 03

  On, uh, Bill Maher?

• 1:12:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:53Speaker 03

  I, yeah.

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  Also, there's another slap. The Tyson slap took over the fucking Will Smith slap.

• 1:12:58Matt McCusker?

  Nah, dude, don't even, nowhere close, bro.

• 1:13:01Speaker 03

  No, Will Smith slap is way bigger.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  It was huge, but did you see that?

• 1:13:04Matt McCusker?

  I saw it.

• 1:13:05Speaker 03

  I saw it. I don't know if it was fake or not.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  I don't know if it was staged. You see he stepped on his foot?

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  Could be real.

• 1:13:11Speaker 02

  You never know. Tyson hates Will. Dude, that was fucking confusing the shit out of me when the, that, the only like weird shit was when the announcer kept telling Roy Jones Jr., "Oh no, that's Mike Tyson's tic. He like bites his glove." And Roy Jones is like, "No, he doesn't."

• 1:13:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was kinda weird.

• 1:13:24Speaker 02

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:13:26Matt McCusker?

  But he's always been doing that.

• 1:13:28Speaker 03

  What's it?

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  He's always been his love.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  Always done that, yeah.

• 1:13:32Matt McCusker?

  But not that much.

• 1:13:33Speaker 04

  His trainer taught him, Otto taught him how to do that, so he can keep his guard up. He's always done that a little bit.

• 1:13:39Matt McCusker?

  Well, there you go.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  Who the fuck is Otto? Cus Amato?

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:42Matt McCusker?

  Otto.

• 1:13:43Speaker 03

  Cus D'Amato?

• 1:13:44Matt McCusker?

  I, my head was like, that must've been one of his later trainers. I was like, yeah.

• 1:13:47Speaker 04

  I said Otto.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  I mean, I corrected you and I was wrong, so now I need to go to Blueski.

• 1:13:54Matt McCusker?

  Now we gotta all blow that guy.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  I was an incorrect know it all. That's where the blueskis. When you're an incorrect know it all, you head over to blueski.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Take your pills and go on blueski.

• 1:14:05Matt McCusker?

  Guys, think about it. Our cars run on fuel and they propel us forward for snacks.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  It's capitalism's fault.

• 1:14:09Matt McCusker?

  It's capitalism.

• 1:14:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:11Matt McCusker?

  He's making me buy all these snacks because I make so much money.

• 1:14:13Speaker 03

  At the heart of it, he's right that it is capitalism that's putting the chemicals in the food.

• 1:14:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  So, you know what I mean? But he did it wrong.

• 1:14:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  He was an incorrect know it all, but.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  They all are, bro. They had, they had, they thought they were gonna take over Sissins, Withers and all those boys. They were white dudes. They were the young white boys for Harris and they fucking folded like, we let women down. It's like dude, not every woman wants to suck a baby.

• 1:14:38Matt McCusker?

  Dude, women got fucking completely sigh up into thinking that they were gonna be like shot in the head by a doctor during birth. Dude, they're for real. Like if I have a, there's, it's called a, um.

• 1:14:47Speaker 02

  I don't know why they throw black dudes in with deportation. Like they're gonna deport the immigrants and the blacks. It's like, why?

• 1:14:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no, that's.

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  How are they getting roped into this? You guys got roped in on the fucking gay pride flag and I'm sorry about that.

• 1:14:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  That's a tough L.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  Wait, are we on the flag?

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're right next to the trannies on the gay pride flag.

• 1:15:05Matt McCusker?

  Cause there's two stripes in the flag now.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Black and brown, bro.

• 1:15:08Speaker 05

  We should be spazzing. That's like.

• 1:15:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, you let it happen.

• 1:15:11Speaker 05

  Alright, I'm leading the charge on that.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  Although that gay dude's this. The gay dude that beat that guy up put you guys.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  That stripes on the flag.

• 1:15:17Speaker 05

  He belongs on there.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, he rocks. That guy rules.

• 1:15:20Speaker 05

  He's the strongest person on the flag.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  That happened during COVID.

• 1:15:25Speaker 05

  What, that fight?

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  No, no, no. You guys got put on the flag during COVID.

• 1:15:29Matt McCusker?

  They did.

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  Congress passed it at midnight. No one was paying attention.

• 1:15:33Speaker 05

  I don't think they let us know that. I think everybody else knows that. I don't think black people know we're on the.

• 1:15:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, if you go on the gayhood in Philly, it's on the street signs.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  I thought that was like for, you said brown blood?

• 1:15:43Speaker 02

  No, brown and black.

• 1:15:44Speaker 05

  Oh. I thought you said brown blood. I thought it was like a blood shit asshole thing.

• 1:15:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  White guys aren't on it.

• 1:15:51Speaker 05

  What was gay sex though?

• 1:15:52Matt McCusker?

  Damn, he's sick to be a gay racist and just rip off the tan.

• 1:15:58Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, right.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  Not getting.

• 1:16:03Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, dude, they tricked women into thinking that like if you it's an ectopic pregnancies when you get an egg in the fallopian tubes and like dude, there was a lot of like, a lot of like Brittany's friends were like, be careful down there. And like, we looked it up and it's like, none of it's true.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Obviously.

• 1:16:15Matt McCusker?

  So like, if you're dying, the doctor won't save you. It's like, not true. None of it's true.

• 1:16:19Speaker 04

  You aren't gonna get a bonus this year if you get pregnant. All your dreams won't come true.

• 1:16:25Matt McCusker?

  No, for real, it was like, you're gonna die.

• 1:16:28Speaker 02

  You're a nasty little fucker.

• 1:16:29Matt McCusker?

  If you have a miscarriage, you're like, if you have a miscarriage, they're not.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's gonna have to just stay in your pussy until it rots away.

• 1:16:34Matt McCusker?

  And rot. It's like, I was like, that can't be true. And I looked it up. I was like, no, none of it's true. Even in like Texas.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, all the, all those soy boys were like, we've, we've let women down today. My daughter, it's like, dude, why are you so worried about your daughter getting fucking pregnant?

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  My wife's gonna get fucking killed during a C-section. No.

• 1:16:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, her marriage is blue no matter who, bro. He doesn't care what they're talking about.

• 1:16:54Speaker 03

  Did you feel like we let women down though, honestly?

• 1:16:57Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  Really? So what were you crying about?

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  Twenty twenty five, though. I do.

• 1:17:02Speaker 02

  That's all bullshit and has nothing to do with Trump.

• 1:17:04Speaker 04

  I don't, brother, they already took the porn before it even started. So I don't think it's all bullshit.

• 1:17:09Speaker 03

  That was a Democrat.

• 1:17:11Speaker 04

  No, it wasn't.

• 1:17:12Speaker 03

  Abbott's Republican?

• 1:17:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:13Speaker 03

  Oh, my bad. Take it back, take it back.

• 1:17:15Matt McCusker?

  But, but dude.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  You should.

• 1:17:17Matt McCusker?

  There needs, here's the thing.

• 1:17:17Speaker 03

  I need to go to Blueski.

• 1:17:18Matt McCusker?

  There, there should be some sort of guardrail, although you can't go on any porn site, really. You just can't go on Pornhub.

• 1:17:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that is the Republicans taking our porn. That's fucking weird.

• 1:17:25Matt McCusker?

  I think it's good. Why should kids, if you can't go ahead and buy alcohol, why can you, a kid just go look at fucking porn on the internet? There should be some stop measure against it.

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, you go, are you eighteen? Yes or no? Yes.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:17:39Speaker 03

  The honest porn kids are gonna do the right thing.

• 1:17:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:43Matt McCusker?

  I like it. I like the blocks.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 1:17:45Speaker 03

  I mean, it is kinda convenient when you're sitting down to do something nasty and you go, what about Governor Abbott? You're right.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  When I hit no faps, dude, like you don't jerk off, it's a lot of time you save.

• 1:17:56Matt McCusker?

  True, you can get right around it. That's, don't get me wrong, but yeah, I'm not totally against it.

• 1:18:01Speaker 02

  Think about the twenty minute sessions you hit every now and then where you got a little sweat hitting the phone. You're like, what am I doing?

• 1:18:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:18:06Speaker 02

  Just come.

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  Sweats hitting the phone when you're jacking off? You sweat jacking off?

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  Furiously.

• 1:18:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  No, not actually.

• 1:18:14Matt McCusker?

  I sweat under my balls big, pretty badly.

• 1:18:17Speaker 03

  Under your, your tank gets sweaty when you jack off?

• 1:18:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my tank gets so sweaty. I woke up with vicious sweat underneath my balls.

• 1:18:22Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:18:22Matt McCusker?

  Then I get done, that's part of it.

• 1:18:24Speaker 02

  How hard are you guys jacking off?

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  Ever sweat, what's jacking off?

• 1:18:28Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I have like the sweatiest tank.

• 1:18:29Speaker 02

  You jacking off like a fucking Greek Emperor?

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  Just comes on a leaf?

• 1:18:35Speaker 03

  Absolutely. I'm literally doing exactly that. Probably in that seat before.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  I'm on the toilet.

• 1:18:41Matt McCusker?

  I get up.

• 1:18:41Speaker 02

  I'm in the fucking, I'm in the driver's seat, brother.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  Clean bowl of water underneath me.

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  You're fighting something, dude. You're fighting something if you're sweating, jacking off to that stuff.

• 1:18:52Matt McCusker?

  It's what it is.

• 1:18:53Speaker 03

  There's a battle going on.

• 1:18:54Matt McCusker?

  Battle, battle for the final.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  I wish I could search something else, but I.

• 1:18:58Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I would never do.

• 1:19:01Matt McCusker?

  It's the battle for the ultimate vid. You're going, this one's alright, but there's a better one out there.

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  There's something else.

• 1:19:06Matt McCusker?

  Ah, fuck, I'm so fucking hard.

• 1:19:08Speaker 03

  How do you guys feel about this sweat versus not sweating, jack off thing?

• 1:19:12Matt McCusker?

  I'm trying to think of the posture, like, how are you getting it on your phone?

• 1:19:16Speaker 03

  Cause he jacks off on the toilet and then he turns around and comes on.

• 1:19:19Matt McCusker?

  Obviously, obviously you're finishing with yourself suck.

• 1:19:24Speaker 02

  I'm institutionalized, bro. It's just where I beat off my whole life.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  For real though, jacking off on the toilet is a blueski.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 1:19:30Speaker 03

  That's what it's called.

• 1:19:31Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  Jacking off on the toilet is called a blueski.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  You do blueskis.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  That's alpha.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  It's kinda jizzing on your shit.

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:40Matt McCusker?

  It's prison shit.

• 1:19:41Speaker 02

  It's always flush, bro.

• 1:19:43Speaker 03

  Jizzing off, dude.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  I'd feel so bad to jizz on my own shit.

• 1:19:47Matt McCusker?

  I've, I've, I've jade on it too.

• 1:19:49Speaker 03

  You've jade on it too?

• 1:19:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, aiming right at the toilet.

• 1:19:52Matt McCusker?

  Cause it's like, I don't wanna, I'm like leaving it there, cause then I wanna like.

• 1:19:54Speaker 03

  You're trying to preserve some water.

• 1:19:55Matt McCusker?

  I don't wanna alert the jerk off police if I flush once. It's like.

• 1:20:01Matt McCusker?

  So it's like, let me get.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  That's two stars.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying. This, this is like institutionalized shit where it's like, you can't flush twice in the bathroom. So you gotta take a shit and jerk off the whole time.

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  You guys had a wild fucking childhood.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  I mean dude, people bang on the fucking toilet.

• 1:20:14Speaker 03

  Dude flushes the jail.

• 1:20:15Speaker 02

  Force is strong.

• 1:20:16Speaker 03

  The JLP is on you.

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  They'll get your ass, dude.

• 1:20:20Matt McCusker?

  You have one half of the population watching the other dude.

• 1:20:22Speaker 02

  Door bang, like, what are you doing in there? Nothing.

• 1:20:25Matt McCusker?

  I was talking about my wife, but yeah.

• 1:20:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, yeah. But then you were institutionalized.

• 1:20:28Matt McCusker?

  I was Metal Gear Solid, yeah, before that, yeah. I was, I was Solid Snake before that.

• 1:20:33Speaker 03

  Guys, we're dropping.

• 1:20:36Speaker 03

  Ew.

• 1:20:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the worst is to clean up in a toilet. You gotta be careful because like one flush doesn't take everything down.

• 1:20:42Speaker 03

  They'll hang on the fucking side of the bowl.

• 1:20:44Matt McCusker?

  Clean around the edges.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's the last thing you want to question like, what the fuck's going on with the toilet? Be like, huh? Huh? You gotta check the perimeter. You might miss and hit the sides.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  This is a whole thing.

• 1:20:55Matt McCusker?

  It's a big thing, dude.

• 1:20:58Matt McCusker?

  It's a ma- it's a major operation.

• 1:21:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:02Matt McCusker?

  It's a major operation. I mean-

• 1:21:03Speaker 03

  You had your own room your whole life. Yeah.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Could never do it.

• 1:21:06Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  Being in my room would be devilish.

• 1:21:11Matt McCusker?

  That would be crazy. I just read a book about a guy in prison. He was saying that they used a sock that they would flip inside out. So it was like the outer part of the sock, but you would flip that inwards. It was like softer. And he said like an old school, like an OG dude had been locked up there for a long time. It was like you roll the socks together. You hit like the soft part of the sock and right before you come, you just jack up the base or not the base, like underneath the helmet.

• 1:21:32Speaker 03

  What fucking erotic fiction was this?

• 1:21:34Matt McCusker?

  It was just this guy telling, he was like, the guy like put me on a game.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Did my mom give you this?

• 1:21:39Matt McCusker?

  Said an older inmate schooled him. I was like, dude, if you want to come really hard, just-

• 1:21:42Speaker 03

  Jack off in the sock?

• 1:21:43Matt McCusker?

  But then you have to like press the top. He goes, dude, it's a knee buckler every time.

• 1:21:49Matt McCusker?

  It was such a weird-

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  I just watched Sixty Days In and everyone in jail was just dumb as shit.

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  It's all just a bunch of dumbass dudes. I think we tricked him this time. Let's smoke weed. The guards come and check the cell. Like we fooled them. It's like they definitely just don't want to do their work tonight.

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  You're just back in eighth grade.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  I know, that's what I'm saying.

• 1:22:05Speaker 03

  You're back in eighth grade.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Every single one, Sixty Days In is a crazy show. I love it.

• 1:22:09Matt McCusker?

  It is good. Do you ever think about what, how you'd be in there?

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  I would never, dude. Fuck jail.

• 1:22:14Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:22:14Speaker 02

  I would hate to be. I went to the Monroe-

• 1:22:16Matt McCusker?

  What if you're a political prisoner?

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  You'd have to go to the gun shop and go to the bathroom.

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  I went to the Monroe Institute.

• 1:22:19Matt McCusker?

  No, but what if you're like a political prisoner? What if you like, what if the Dems won and then like you had to take back what was yours?

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought about that before. I would take the L. I would immediately turn on Road to Moscow, put the AirPods in, just wait for the fucking bus to pick me up.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  Crossed over the border.

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  General Flynn.

• 1:22:40Speaker 03

  I think we've done it.

• 1:22:40Matt McCusker?

  We did it. Stretch my knee out here.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  I think we've done it.

• 1:22:44Matt McCusker?

  Think we done did it.

• 1:22:45Speaker 02

  Bill. Same shoe.

• 1:22:46Speaker 03

  Same shoe.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  What does that say on there?

• 1:22:50Speaker 03

  It's bluesky.

• 1:22:51Speaker 02

  For real?

• 1:22:52Speaker 03

  It's drusky.

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  Actually?

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:56Speaker 02

  Is he blue?

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  He's bluesky. Drusky's bluesky.

• 1:22:59Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:23:00Speaker 03

  Uh, alright.

• 1:23:02Matt McCusker?

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:23:03Speaker 03

  God bless you, guys.