Pod Insights The Psychology of your 20s 266. The psychology of alcohol About this episode Alcohol is one of societies most highly accepted and used drugs. But what is it's actual impact on our brains and our bodies, and what is the psychology behind why we use alcohol and why it makes us feel so good? In today's episode, let's break down the true psychology of alcohol, including:
Why we feel drunk and how alcohol is processed How alcohol influences our neurotransmitters and brain communication Why we experience hangxiety + blacking out What makes alcohol so addictive When to know you have a problem How your health and your body changes when you go sober + what to expect The link between socialising and alcohol + more Listen now to learn the essentials about the relationship between you, your body, your emotions and that cheeky glass of wine.
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2:56 Jemma Sbeg? trial before committing to a membership. That's join.whoop.com/psychology for your free month of Whoop. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our twenties. I just want to say a huge, big, full thank you to all of the love and support that you guys have shown my new podcast, Mantra, so far. In case you haven't heard, I launched a new show. You know, I just wanted to spend even
3:36 Jemma Sbeg? more hours behind a microphone. One podcast wasn't enough. But Mantra is basically a weekly podcast that I put out every single Monday that gives you a phrase and affirmation for your week to help you guide your week. Whether it is I release the need for external validation, I cultivate peace within, I create my own reality. We go into what each mantra means at the start of every week to kind of give you some guidance and some inspiration as you start And as you get into it, whatever it is you are going through. So um the first episode was released
4:16 Jemma Sbeg? yesterday on the thirteenth of January and the love that you guys have poured into that show already um left me kind of speechless. So thank you so much for those who have already listened, already rated the show, who are following along on Instagram. Every single little two second act, whether you're rating it, whether you're just playing the first, you know, thirty seconds, whether you honestly just hit follow means the world. So I really, really appreciate it. But with that aside, just to say a big thank you, I want to talk about today's topic because today we are talking about alcohol, specifically what alcohol does to our brains, how it impacts us emotionally and psychologically,
5:01 Jemma Sbeg? and also the shift we're kind of seeing in society today towards sobriety, especially in our generation of twenty somethings, a lot of us are starting to question whether our current drinking habits, both individually and as a culture, are really what's best. And this has been a big topic of conversation in my life at the moment. It's been coming up everywhere I look because I'm doing Dry January. And you know what? I just kind of said it as a personal challenge. And if I'm being completely honest with you all, I did not expect it to be as hard as it was. It honestly shocked me a bit because I'm not someone who's ever had a problem with alcohol.
5:42 Jemma Sbeg? I could always stop drinking when I wanted, but suddenly these thirty days have been hard. And it's really got me thinking about, well, the psychology of alcohol and the role that it plays during this decade of life. I think it's been so difficult because every social event or thing that's happening, every interaction or opportunity to hang out with my friends kind of has alcohol at the centre. Maybe not every single event, but probably every second one, whether it's going to the pub, going out for drinks, going to a party, a birthday, a celebration, dinner. Alcohol is very much at the centre and Honestly, as someone who actually does like the taste of wine and who will have a few glasses of wine or a beer,
6:26 Jemma Sbeg? I never really noticed how dependent those situations felt on drinking. Um, until I put myself in a position where I couldn't participate in kind of the group activity. What I have noticed has been really interesting as well, both health-wise, mental health-wise, brain-wise, but also social-wise. So I want to not only discuss the role of alcohol on our brains and our bodies, because I think that's just something we should all understand, but also what happens when we quit alcohol, what changes you're likely to notice, how to deal with things like anxiety and the rise of sober curiosity amongst us.
7:08 Jemma Sbeg? Also, some of the things I've learnt going out sober that might surprise you. I also wanna go kind of more in-depth into um the psychology of dependence, substance abuse, why we do feel like alcohol is so conditioned into how we socialize and so much more. I think this episode is really important and it's essential listening if you're in your twenties and beyond, because how often do we really pause and consider how big of a role this substance plays in our lives? You know, until recently, I hadn't really done that thinking. So this is also such a really richly and deeply researched area. I do just wanna say the evidence and the science is constantly evolving when it comes to alcohol.
7:53 Jemma Sbeg? Like a paper literally came out yesterday that I didn't get a chance to put into this episode. So as of right now, hopefully it is accurate, but maybe in a couple of years, the research will change again and I'll have to revisit this topic. But for right now, this is what we know about the psychology of alcohol, specifically in our twenties. So let's get into it.
8:19 Jemma Sbeg? Let's get some basics down pat first. How is alcohol processed by the body? Why does it make us feel the way it does? Good and bad? What is the impact on the brain? Three things we really need to know. So first thing to know, when you have a glass of wine, when you have a little Aperol spritz, your martini, your shots of vodka, whatever it is, insert drink of choice here. The key chemical or substance that we are interested in that makes alcohol alcohol is ethanol. This is what is going to make you feel tipsy or drunk. And ethanol is really just a byproduct of the fermentation of a plant. So for wine, it's grapes. For beer, it's barley. For vodka, it's, you know, potatoes or sugar or rice. Gin, it's juniper berries.
9:04 Jemma Sbeg? And fermentation basically just means that the fruit is rotting. It's fermenting. So when you drink alcohol, you're basically just drinking some really funky juice, you know, something that is rotten. And it's important to note that our body actually sees that in some ways as poison. Like it's not meant to be here, even if it feels nice. If you, for example, see someone throw up from drinking too much alcohol on a night out, that is basically your body being like, oh my gosh, we have been poisoned. Get this stuff out of me. And I remember someone telling me that when I was at uni, actually. She was like, that is your body responding to a point, like an overdose, a poison overdose.
9:45 Jemma Sbeg? And it really changed my whole perspective on how much I would drink on a night out. Like binge drinking was just so casually prevalent in my university experience that hearing that person explain it that way, like, kind of really shocked me. So, you know, on a less extreme note, when our body metabolizes alcohol, ethanol, even in small quantities, a number of things happen. I'm not going to get too scientific, but essentially it can only be processed by our liver, which essentially does see ethanol as something that is harmful. And it tries to clear it out of our system. It tries to clear it out of our body by processing it. But when we have more than the liver And process at any given time.
10:28 Jemma Sbeg? This excess alcohol in our body is what starts to give us that loose, drunken, tipsy feeling because the alcohol is not being processed as fast as it's coming in. That's not necessarily a problem at low levels, only at high levels. And all those feelings that we are going to be experiencing occur because alcohol is not only a drug, but it's what we call a depressant drug. So in comparison to stimulant drugs like MDMA, cocaine, that sort of thing. We have depressant drugs like alcohol, marijuana. Now they're called depressants because of the impact they have on the central nervous system. And the impact that alcohol or ethanol has is one of basically sedation.
11:14 Jemma Sbeg? So your central nervous system, you hear that come up a lot. It is made up of two things, your brain and your spine, your spinal cord. And alcohol is actually one of the few substances that can cross the blood brain barrier. Meaning that it can almost reach into our brain cells and impact them directly. And when it does that, it slows everything down and it disrupts normal functioning. So basically, at any given moment, right now, you right now, listening to this podcast. All of your neurons in your brain are chattering away. They're sending information back and forth like little workers in a big warehouse. And they're thinking, oh, this is interesting. This is an interesting pay attention to this while you're watching the road, while you're cleaning.
11:59 Jemma Sbeg? They're sourcing all this information and alcohol is like going into that warehouse and slowly turning down the lights so that none of those little worker neurons can see where they're going. And they can't talk as easily. That is basically alcohol's effect. It is kind of shutting down the systems, making it harder for your neurons to talk. Now this, this depressant effect on our brain is what creates so many of those typical effects that we associate with drinking. So, big one, feeling a little bit clumsy, a bit slower, but also less inhibited because all. Of those parts of your brain that would normally tell you to hush or would respond to physical stimuli.
12:42 Jemma Sbeg? They are kind of quietening down. They're finding it harder to communicate with each other. Think about like in a normal circumstance, you go to say something embarrassing or weird and your brain goes, okay, let's read this. Let's read the cues. Let's think this through. We're not going to say that. But when you're drinking, your brain gets to that realization a little bit too slow. It also slows down our anxiety, meaning that your anxious thoughts, for a lot of us, finally seem quieter. We're going to talk about that in a second and why that's actually going to backfire on you. Another impact that alcohol has that comes from that sedative effect is slurred speech.
13:23 Jemma Sbeg? It's why you should also never drive when drinking because your response times are slower, even if you don't think that they are. It's why we feel sleepy. Alcohol also causes our brain to release something called opioid peptides, which basically are the thing that signals the brain to release dopamine and serotonin. And when they do, those areas of our brain open the floodgates and they let out, they make more of these neurotransmitters available to us, which is what makes us feel really happy and euphoric because of how this substance impacts our reward pathways and also the release of endorphins.
14:05 Jemma Sbeg? So alcohol triggers opioid peptides, which trigger dopamine and serotonin, and in the process also release, releases endorphins. Um, it's interesting because they actually only really discovered that this is what was happening. This peptide to dopamine to endorphin link about twelve years ago. Um, you know, they'd long assumed it, but it was really hard to prove that this was what was why alcohol made us so happy. The way they did finally prove it was that they did a study back in twenty twelve, where they injected twenty five people, half of whom were heavy drinkers, half of whom weren't, with a drug that would bind to their.
14:46 Jemma Sbeg? Opioid receptors, um but then they radioactively tagged those receptors. So they basically gave them like a low level of a drug that stimulated their opioid receptors. And that drug would obviously attach to those receptors so they could see where they were in the brain. And then they asked them to drink alcohol. And the people who got particularly a lot of pleasure out of drinking, so heavy drinkers, they, all those areas, those places where the opioid peptides were located, based on that previous drug insertion, they lit up even further. And so that really showed researchers and scientists only twelve years ago that that was the system and the reason why we get that euphoric feeling.
15:26 Jemma Sbeg? So the effects of alcohol, um they're not just physical and biological, they're also really psychological. Not just because of that happy feeling, but because of the impact on our mind and our mood in general, and also our personality. This amazing paper from two thousand eight titled Why Do We Drink? Puts it really perfectly. We drink because of alcohol's ability to alter our emotional state and make us more like the person we actually wanna be, even if just for a second. We wanna be the confident person, the relaxed person, the disinhibited person, the less stressed person.
16:07 Jemma Sbeg? And because alcohol gives us a gateway to this realization of the ideal self, that is actually what can make it so addictive and what can fuel dependency. You know, it's not just the feeling, it's who it makes us become in comparison to who we are in our everyday lives. You know, that is one factor. I also think the other factor why, the other reason it's so normalized and widely used is of course the social element to it. How can we forget that? You know, that social celebratory component to the use of alcohol is what makes it so hard for us to contemplate stepping away from it because we think that we're gonna miss out on so many other things.
16:52 Jemma Sbeg? You know, for millennium, people have known that alcohol makes us have more fun, it makes us merry, makes us open, more relaxed. And so it has become integrated into our culture, our way of communicating and socializing. You know, the earliest evidence of humans making and drinking alcohol was from seven thousand B.C. Before Christ, that is a lot of years ago. That is definitely not modern history. Um, actually, where they found this wine was in China, in what is now known as the Yellow River Valley. And it really goes to show that humans have for a long time used this substance to alter their state of mind and for enjoyment.
17:36 Jemma Sbeg? Now, you can obviously get this buzzed, euphoric, relaxed feeling from even just one drink, even a couple of drinks. Um, but at some point, your body can't process the alcohol fast enough. And so initially you will get that buzzed feeling and then you'll start feeling nauseous, dizzy, confused, and you may even blackout. Let's actually talk about what happens to your brain when you blackout. Now, I'm talking blacking out, not passing out, so not like, you know, being completely unconscious, but being conscious but having no memory of what has happened. When this happens, you've basically drunk enough alcohol to disrupt a really vital part of your brain
18:20 Jemma Sbeg? called the hippocampus. Now, this part of your brain, it's responsible for a lot of things. But in this context, it's really responsible for consolidating and storing memories. So although you might be awake and you might be currently experiencing your reality, your brain cannot take those moments and store them properly. So that is what leads to those gaps in what you can remember. Everything that you're experiencing when you're really drunk on a night out or wherever you are, um, basically it's only able to be temporarily held in sensory and short term memory. Which, you know, normally has a life expectancy of about a couple of minutes.
19:02 Jemma Sbeg? So that's why you might wake up the next morning and go, hey, this is so blurry. I can't remember saying that. I can't remember doing that. Even though you hadn't necessarily passed out at any point. When we pass out, on the other hand, what we're experiencing is, as I described before, basically minor alcohol poisoning. And when I say minor, I mean, less extreme than the worst case scenario. But honestly, any kind of alcohol poisoning is not that great. And the next morning, you know, how can we talk about the psychology of alcohol and not talk about the next day? When we've drunk past that limit, we get a hangover. And that's typically due to dehydration.
19:42 Jemma Sbeg? And because when your liver breaks down alcohol, a byproduct is called anacetylene. Which is what makes you really nauseous and gives you headaches. And then we also have hangxiety as a component of that. Um, I made a full episode on hangxiety, maybe two years ago. The episode is called the psychology of hangxiety that goes really into depth on this subject. But as a summary, when we drink, part of why we feel that calm feeling I was talking about is also because of the release of a neurotransmitter called GABA. And in response to alcohol, our brain dumps a bunch of this into our body.
20:23 Jemma Sbeg? GABA has that sedi- that the sedative effect, it really slows things down, it reduces your anxiety, it reduces chatter between your neurons. The next day though, our brain is like, alright, cool. We need to get everything back in balance now. So it releases more of GABA's counterpart, glutamate. Now, glutamate has the opposite effect, it has an excitatory effect. And that is why you feel quite anxious the next morning. Because it takes a while for your brain to really find the right level and restore that normal chemical. Or balance. So it's pumping in more glutamate, pumping in more GABA, pumping in more glutamate. And you know, they're kind of trying to race to the top and your anxiety is rising and rising.
21:07 Jemma Sbeg? That is why you can feel really overwhelmed by, oh my god, what did I say last night? What did I do? Even when you didn't do anything, you feel like there's this lingering sense that something is wrong and this rising anxiety in your body. That, my friends, is glutamate. So I think, you know, that even that interaction between GABA and glutamate really sums up alcohol consumption for me. For every reaction you have with alcohol, there is a counter reaction. You might feel happy and merry, but then the next day you might feel sad and depressed. When the buzz wears off, you might feel uninhibited, but the next day you feel anxious again. And for me, um, alcohol also was just a really terrible contributor to my mental health.
21:52 Jemma Sbeg? Because obviously, like, you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed, you've had a really hard day. You might have a couple glasses of wine, but I was finding that I would wake up the next day. Firstly, I wasn't as productive, I didn't have as much mental clarity, which is so important to me. But secondly, all of my anxious, stressful, worrisome feelings and sensations were just heightened and elevated. And it was unbearable. And that is something that I have noticed, you know, in this short period of time. In this two weeks that I haven't been drinking, my anxiety symptoms have declined. Like, they're still there, but they feel manageable.
22:33 Jemma Sbeg? Also, I'm getting, you know, riding less of a, a wave, like an up and down wave of spiked emotions from really jubilant to really, you know, terrified and sad. Very interested to see how that goes, like, in the next two weeks after a month. And even if I can do like six months, I don't know. I've got, you know, my book coming out, kind of want to have a little glass of champagne with that. But even in moderation, whether my alcohol consumption is something that is directly correlated to poor mental health episodes for me. I do want to put in like a little. Disclaimer here, like this advice and information I'm presenting isn't presented in a way to just be like,
23:12 Jemma Sbeg? everyone be sober and trying to dissuade you from ever drinking again. Like, I think I will eventually drink again. I just also think that what I needed to understand was some of the consequences and, you know, really re-acknowledging myself, what was happening in my body in response to alcohol, and whether I was willing to opt into that interaction or whether I'd be better off without it. But I honestly do think, like, I'll drink again, I probably will get drunk again, probably a couple of times. So this isn't like a blanket, if you're listening to this, never drink again kind of episode. I just think that any form of education gives you an informed choice and you can take this and be like,
23:53 Jemma Sbeg? cool, I'm still gonna get blackout drunk and I wouldn't, you know, can, I wouldn't promote that, but it's still your choice, as long as you know what you're doing to your body. Um, all right, let's take a short break because something we haven't spoken about yet is the psychology behind alcohol dependency and addiction. I think that deserves its whole section of the podcast, so we will be back after this short break.
24:21 Jemma Sbeg? There's this moment in your twenties where you realise, oh, no one is double checking my finances for me anymore. It's just me, my bank account and a growing list of, wait, I forgot I subscribed to that. And honestly, that can feel overwhelming. So you could look into Bank of America Advantage Safe Balance Banking. It's perfect for this stage of life where you're figuring things out as you go. There are no overdraft item fees and if you are under twenty five, there's no monthly maintenance fee, which just makes it easier to stay on track. What stands out is that it doesn't try to overcomplicate things. It's not about being perfect with money, it's about having a system that helps you feel a little more in control.
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26:29 Jemma Sbeg? something that has kept me really motivated is my Whoop. I am such a data person, which is why I love Whoop, because I can genuinely see why my body feels differently depending on the day, why I'm running differently, why I'm maybe less focused. Whoop effortlessly tracks my sleep, it tracks my strain, my recovery, my stress, and most importantly, my overall health. And it just gives me all that data and all those patterns, so I can make better decisions, which includes knowing when to go easy and knowing when to go hard. New members can try Whoop with a 30-day free trial before committing to a membership. That's join.whoop.com/psychology for your free month of Whoop. Why is it that some people cannot stop drinking when they start?
27:14 Jemma Sbeg? Why do some people get really drunk, make terrible mistakes, ruin relationships, and they still cannot quit? Basically, I think the question that I'm asking is, what makes alcohol so addictive for some people? And it really, it really is, even if we don't acknowledge it. Researchers at Oxford University, they've actually called it the second most addictive drug on the planet, second only to heroin.
27:43 Jemma Sbeg? Like, that's wild to me, yet it's so widely accepted. If, you know, we were all going around doing heroin every Friday, Saturday and odd Tuesday, you best believe that your friends would be like, hey, um, intervention happening here, this isn't a good idea. But alcohol is just not treated with the same level of caution. What really makes alcohol so addictive, and I've already kind of mentioned it, is what it does to us psychologically as well as physically. And psychologically, what it does is that it numbs us, but not only that, it also lights up the reward centers in our brain. So, you know, of course, our brain is going to continue to repeat behaviors or tell us to repeat behaviors that are pleasurable,
28:27 Jemma Sbeg? rewarding, and also, you know, alcohol provides relief in a sense from really hard things, from negative circumstances. When that association between, you know, alcohol makes makes me happy. Alcohol takes away bad things. When that association becomes a pattern, that becomes a habit, it becomes a lot harder and harder to stop. We also have to acknowledge, you know, a lot of people um feel more like themselves, I guess, in their drunk state. And so, of course, they're going to continue to drink and sometimes drink heavily to put them back in the shoes of this person they wish that they were.
29:08 Jemma Sbeg? This really, this pattern and association is really the neurological basis for addiction. And we typically see addiction as happening in three stages. So, if we're speaking of alcohol, often people begin with the binge and intoxication stage where we're experiencing all the pleasure, we're experiencing all the happy thoughts. We associate drinking with really fun things, environments, people, um, and it hasn't gotten bad yet. But then we get to the withdrawal period where it just feels crap to not be drinking because of the hangovers, whatever. And also the negative effect stage. So when we do stop, we become irritable, sad, depressed, anxious, anxious. So we drink again.
29:52 Jemma Sbeg? To reduce the stress of not drinking. And then that is really followed by the preoccupation and anticipation stage. This is when we have strong urges. We have cravings when they're not acceptable. Maybe we are watching the clock for five P M with sneaking drinks at work. This is where we don't feel like we can have fun without it. We don't think we can function without it. And it's where, you know, alcohol abuse disorder and alcohol addiction really kind of takes hold. Some of us are more prone to this than others. And one of the biggest factors that makes us more prone to it is genetics. It's genetic factors and recent studies, including one from only last year,
30:34 Jemma Sbeg? have showed that there are certain genes associated with an addiction or dependency on alcohol. And those genes are inherited. Some, you know, scientists, some researchers even call substance use disorders or alcoholism a complex genetic disease. A genetic disease like, you know, those that cause birth defects or birth deformities. And it's also linked to generational trauma. It's linked to environment, to learned behaviors, all of which are kind of passed down from those above us, passed down from our family. And, you know, of course, trauma comes into play here.
31:15 Jemma Sbeg? You know, a study in Australia found that a third of adults who were exposed to childhood trauma go on to abuse alcohol later in life, a third of them. And, you know, as a country who has Australia being, you know, has a terrible history, a terrible, terrible history. You know, you can see why people whose families and whose culture have endured that suffering would have problems with alcohol. Because as it's, as it's called, it's a complex genetic and generational disease. That's how some people really see it. This is why I really think that people who struggle with alcoholism or substance addiction or abuse of any kind. They deserve so much sympathy.
32:00 Jemma Sbeg? Um, maybe people will get upset at me for saying that and say, you know, no, my uncle has this and he doesn't deserve a lick of sympathy. He did this to himself. That's your, that's your perspective and your truth. What I'm saying is that I don't think anyone would choose that life for themselves. No one, as a child, as a three, four, five year old says, when I grow up, I wanna be dependent on alcohol. No one dreams of that. Um, but I've also seen in my own life, how easy it is to fall into that pattern. I've seen this in people that I know who seem totally fine and normal, but have serious problems with alcohol.
32:40 Jemma Sbeg? They're just able to hide it because they have a good support network because of, you know, other things in their life. You know, I just don't think that it really comes down to not being disciplined. I think that, or being lazy, I, I really actually think that it can happen to anyone. All it takes is one tragedy, one bad year, one instance of bad luck. And all you have left might be alcohol. That is how you self-soothe. And I think it's as simple as that. It's such a widely available and accepted drug that there's also people who don't even question that they might have a problem until it's too late.
33:21 Jemma Sbeg? You know, living in Australia, we have such a huge binge drinking culture that there, I'm so sure that there are people I would even know who don't even realize that they have a problem until they would try to stop, until they try to quit. And, you know, they couldn't do it, like even I struggled. There's also the important thing to remember, which is that alcohol is commonly used as a maladaptive coping mechanism because of, again, how it can be used to help us manage stress, bad thoughts, inadequacy. It does remove bad feelings, but it also prevents a deeper, truer form of emotional coping.
34:00 Jemma Sbeg? I think we really need to articulate the distinction here between dependence, abuse and addiction because they are used very interchangeably, even I've been doing so. So let's clarify this for a second. When people use the term dependence, they are usually referring to a physical dependence on a substance. So what that is characterized by is symptoms of increased tolerance. So it's harder for you to get drunk even as you drink more and also withdrawal. So obviously withdrawal is the removal of the substance when you are sober. It doesn't feel great, you feel sick, you feel gross as the alcohol leaves your body.
34:39 Jemma Sbeg? And while it's possible to have a physical dependence without being addicted, often it's a very slippery slope and it's right around the corner. Addiction is one step above dependence because it's marked by a change in behaviour that is caused not only by biochemical changes in the brain from using alcohol, but also psychological changes, you know, linked to substance abuse. The substance, and in this case it's alcohol, becomes the main priority for someone who is suffering from addiction, regardless of the harm they cause to themselves or others. So this is a really important part, even if it's hurting family members,
35:20 Jemma Sbeg? even if you're going to lose your job, like you just cannot stop. You just cannot stop. Something interesting though is that you can be addicted to alcohol and not abusing it or even using it. Like you could be completely sober and still addicted to alcohol, which sounds strange, but it's actually a very core philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous, that you're basically always going to be an addict. You know, there was some controversy around this because if you tell someone who's zero days sober, hey, no matter what you do, you're always going to be an addict and that is a bad, dirty word. So you better not, it's not even worth trying, like that's not a fun thing to hear.
36:03 Jemma Sbeg? You know, it's not a fun thing to think that you're forever going to be under the control of this substance or your identity is going to be associated with this substance. Um, so some people have said that idea that you're always an addict is not necessarily good for an optimistic internal environment. But there are people who say, you know, knowing that you are someone who is always going to be an addict, who was an addict. Serves as a good reminder to them that they do have a more addictive prone personality. So they shouldn't take chances um even trying to drink alcohol as in a normal way. Like that is not something that they can do. So wherever you sit on that kind of scale of whether you think it should exist, that you're always an addict or not.
36:46 Jemma Sbeg? Like it's very much an individual choice, what's going to allow you to move past dependency and addiction in the best way. There is also, I think, one less severe level of alcohol dependence or abuse that I would call context based dependence. And I think this particularly applies to our twenties. You might not have a problem with alcohol. You might be able to stop for weeks or months, maybe just weeks, let's say that, maybe a couple of days. But you know, every time your friends say, come out with us, let's go to the club. My god, I sound so old, like, let's go clubbing, let's go out, let's go to this party. You have to drink.
37:29 Jemma Sbeg? You feel like, once you're in that environment, there is no stopping you. That is not just addiction in the traditional sense, but rather a context, a contextual reliance on alcohol kind of as a social lubricant or a way to fit in. Like you could not imagine going to something and not drinking. And when you do, it's incredibly hard. I think in these moments, drinking really does become tied to the context rather than a personal craving. Like this kind of dependence is subtle because when you're not in those environments, you might not wanna drink at all. But it's also something that means, you know, it's also a form of dependence that can be, can go unnoticed.
38:11 Jemma Sbeg? I think it's especially problematic when you're someone who gets to the party and can't stop drinking. So I think it's really worth reflecting on whether the choice to drink in those moments is truly yours or if you're being influenced by the environment, by other people's expectations of you and kind of just like this context based reliance. You know, if you don't feel good after drinking and if you always like, god, I don't wanna do that again, if you feel pressured, if you know you wanna go for a run the next day, but you still end up going too far. I think that that's when you know it's a bit of a dangerous social habit. Perhaps even for you, it's more linked to FOMO, right?
38:51 Jemma Sbeg? And the way alcohol reduces stress in a situation or makes it feel like you belong. You don't wanna miss out on the fun. Perhaps it's a fear of social exclusion, of not being part of the interesting stories, of not being part of of the moment, but it is something that I think if you're in your twenties, you need to recognize. How does drinking and social acceptance go hand in hand? Something really positive that I've seen, you know, more and more though, is a lot of us taking the sober route or being sober curious. That's the name for it these days. You know, there is this idea that you're either a problem drinker, an alcoholic, or a normal drinker who has no issues with alcohol.
39:32 Jemma Sbeg? But more and more, definitely seeing these like shades of grey when it comes to dependency. And sober curiosity is this amazing kind of lifestyle choice that doesn't require complete commitment to going sober for the rest of your life, but it does mean that you can choose to kind of dip your toes into occasional or periodic sobriety and just kind of modify your drinking habits without feeling like it's all or nothing. You know, it's not because you're necessarily worried about dependency. It's more that you've evaluated what drinking costs you versus what you would benefit from cutting down or going sober for small periods of time.
40:15 Jemma Sbeg? I have noticed that more and more in my own social circles. Something I actually noticed recently was um more non-alcoholic drinks being available at parties. It's become a lot more normal to ask someone like, are you drinking at the moment? Rather than just assuming that they are, more people doing Dry Jan or Dry July. And I think that's really something we can expect more as we deprioritize drinking or make small swaps and, you know, I promise to tell you what I've noticed. Mental health thing has been one thing, but there are so many other benefits. You sleep better, you are less stressed because you're not artificially. Elevating and then lowering and then elevating again your GABA and glutamate levels.
40:58 Jemma Sbeg? So your brain and body is able to find that sweet spot and stay there. You know, if you drink quite a bit and then you suddenly stop, sometimes you do experience like a strange spike in anxiety in the first few weeks. Because your brain is adjusting to not having this substance to reduce or relax it. But after a while, like it turns out that your body can manage that stress itself. It doesn't need the help of alcohol. We also see regeneration in the frontal lobe, um, which is where alcohol hits the hardest. The frontal lobe and the cerebellum. And the frontal lobe is responsible for a lot of our executive functioning and decision making, self-control, our emotions, our personality.
41:38 Jemma Sbeg? And sometimes you might not know it, but prolonged and heavy drinking actually kills off brain cells in that area and across the brain. And it causes your brain to shrink, it reduces brain volume. So that is why alcohol is so often implicated in neurological diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. When you are young and you cut back, you're giving your brain more of a chance. And you're allowing your brain space to prune, rewire, keep those cells healthy. And that's why you may see an increase in mental clarity. Oh my goodness, if I have not noticed that, I have less brain fog, almost none at the moment. You feel refreshed, you can get more done.
42:23 Jemma Sbeg? Also, you know, because your sleep is likely improved as well, like this is all coming together. It's a common myth that, you know, alcohol helps you sleep. It's where the term nightcap came from, like having a drink, a cap of something to help you fall asleep. Actually, to myth bust that one for you, drinking worsens your sleep quality significantly. Because it makes it harder for you to enter and therefore stay in REM sleep. So not drinking, better shut eye. One of the things I've also noticed that I didn't expect was how much inflammation went away in my face particularly, but also in my body. Like, within a week, I wasn't as puffy, I got less headaches,
43:07 Jemma Sbeg? my skin was breaking out less, it looked healthier. And that was just me going from like mid-range social drinking to no drinking at all, and it still made a really big difference. Like, oh my goodness. Even my hands and like my face is the big one where I just feel less like bloated and less like puffy and it's very hard to like see, I think if you were someone like just some like a friend or a stranger and you weren't seeing my face every day, but obviously as someone who sees it every day, like I've definitely noticed this um decline. Your liver, your heart, they both do better. And this raises a really important
43:49 Jemma Sbeg? point I haven't spoken about yet, which is another myth, the myth that alcohol is actually good for our health. I listened to this fascinating podcast by the New York Times called How Bad Is Alcohol For You Really? In which they basically debunk this idea that alcohol has any health benefit. Most of us have probably heard this suggestion or this quote unquote fact that a glass of red wine is like good for your heart, it has antioxidants. Like it was even a fact that was like in the episode, like in an episode of The Office. It's so commonly spread, but actually when you review the study that this fact is taken from, the way they interpreted their data was really misleading. And now so many people believe a false conclusion.
44:33 Jemma Sbeg? When they conducted this original study, they basically looked at people who drank versus didn't drink. And you know, the people who did drink, it was quite moderate, maybe a couple of glasses of wine. And what they found was that those who drank moderately were healthier than those who didn't drink at all. And it was this huge finding at the time, but what they didn't control for, and anyone studying psychology knows you need to control for your confounding extraneous variables. They didn't control for the people who were in that sober group, who had stopped drinking because they had a real problem and it had begun to impact their health. You know, it's kind of hard these days to find someone who is completely sober.
45:16 Jemma Sbeg? Um, and one of the reasons that someone might be completely sober is because they can't drink. So all of those people who were included in the no drinking group, it wasn't like they'd never drunk before in their life. It was actually the opposite, they had a problem. And so they were basically pulling down the group average of non drinkers compared to casual drinkers. So it looked like the casual drinkers were healthier. And that is a classic example in psychology research of poor sampling methods, not controlling for your extraneous or confounding variables. And knowing that now, you know, there's been so many more studies coming out saying, actually, this is not good for your heart, this is not good for your liver, this causes cancer.
45:58 Jemma Sbeg? There are entire countries that have changed their dietary recommendations when it comes to alcohol, saying it is not safe for you to drink at all. It will increase your likelihood of dying, maybe only by a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bit, but still. Um, actually, interestingly, as I'm recording this, it actually looks like the US will be the next country to make a recommendation that people shouldn't drink, obviously. It's a very harsh recommendation, but they wanna do what's safe. All of this sounds very, very scary, but something to note that I found really fascinating. Even the man who discovered the problem in those findings, who said, you know, to everyone for years, alcohol isn't safe, we shouldn't tell people that. He actually, get this, he still drinks.
46:43 Jemma Sbeg? And he is very open about the fact that he loves a couple glasses of wine. And I think that is the important thing, moderation is important. And it reminds me of that quote, which basically says like, you know, yes, sun gives you cancer, ice cream is bad for you, spending your money ruins your savings. Wine isn't the healthiest, it ruins your liver, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I wanna have fun. It's a good, good philosophy to have, that yes, anything can kill you. Everything can be bad for you. How terrible is that? But actually, it's not, because life is actually about sometimes indulging and having fun and enjoying flavour and enjoying richness. And I think that if you don't have a serious problem with alcohol abuse,
47:28 Jemma Sbeg? maybe, and definitely, why not enjoy what you enjoy? Enjoy the feeling, the sensation, the friendships that you might feel like you get from a glass of wine or a little Aperol spritz every now and again. Okay, we're gonna take a short break, but when we come back, I wanna talk about how sobriety impacted my social life, what it was like to go out sober, and just like some fast, rapid-fire tips I have if you wanna give it a go.
47:58 Jemma Sbeg? There's this moment in your twenties where you realise, oh, no one is double-checking my finances for me anymore. It's just me, my bank account, and a growing list of, wait, I forgot I subscribed to that. And honestly, that can feel overwhelming. So you could look into Bank of America Advantage Safe Balance Banking. It's perfect for this stage of life where you're figuring things out as you go. There are no overdraft item fees, and if you are under twenty-five, there's no monthly maintenance fee, which just makes it easier to stay on track. What stands out is that it doesn't try to overcomplicate things. It's not about being perfect with money, it's about having a system that helps you feel a little more in control.
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51:06 Jemma Sbeg? I think a big fear we have around trying dry gin, dry July, whatever it is, going sober for a couple of months is social exclusion. Am I gonna be included? Are people gonna think that I'm like a wet blanket, that I'm not fun? Am I gonna be left out? Is it gonna be less enjoyable to be the only sober one? That was definitely a fear that I had in like just doing thirty days of this. Especially like it's summer in Australia, like everyone wants to do little Arvo beverages. Um, so like it definitely felt like I was gonna be missing out. But something that I've really noticed is that my friends are very, very accepting. Now, if you have a friend group that is pressuring you to drink, I don't think those people are your friends.
51:50 Jemma Sbeg? They're not your friends because if they only feel like they can enjoy your company with a glass or something, you know, a can of something in their hand, like that's not authentic. Like, I don't know, I just feel like your relationships um shouldn't be elevated by drinking. They should be just as good when you're sober as they are, when you're tipsy, as they are when you're drunk. Um, and I went out sober the other night, like it was a friend's birthday party, like a really good friend. And I went out and I was like, okay, I'm committing to this. I'm committing to this, I'm gonna drive, I'm gonna drive me and my boyfriend. We're gonna meet like thirty of our friends and I'm gonna like just chill on the Diet Cokes for a little while. The first hour, this is what I learned, the first hour was the worst.
52:36 Jemma Sbeg? Just get that out of the way. First hour was the worst because everyone was kind of like getting into the vibe. Everyone was kind of having a few drinks, like lightening up. And it was very much like based around like, let's go to the bar, like this drink tastes good. We're gonna sip and sit. Um, so I was a bit like, ah, I just feel like I'm missing out. You guys are all like getting more cheerful, more cheerful. And I'm just feeling like I'm left out here of my own, of course, with my own actions. But then after the first hour was done, it was so much fun. It was so much fun because I was more present, because I wasn't sleepy, because I didn't just sit in a corner and just chat to one person. Was more like um aware of who I wanted to speak to, what I wanted to get out of the night.
53:20 Jemma Sbeg? I was able to like, I know this sounds weird, but actually have some foresight to like organize things, do things. Like there was karaoke in the back of this bar and I was like, okay, like I'll take the initiative and I'll book this. Cause everyone else is kind of like had a few drinks and is probably not thinking about whether that's possible. Also really, really fun was driving everyone home afterwards. Let me tell you this, I had more fun being the designated driver and getting to drop all of my drunk friends home. Than I have ever had in a club. And I know that is a huge statement, but it is a correct one. It is an accurate one. I could not tell you the last time I went clubbing and had a good time.
54:01 Jemma Sbeg? Like it's just not something that I think I like to do. Obviously when I was, I actually probably could tell you like when I was in my early twenties and like in my teen years, it was like a great time. It was part of like socializing at uni. But since I've kind of hit my mid twenties, like it's just not my thing anymore. And I would always try and force myself to really enjoy it and get something out of it and make memories. That's the big reason why I would go was for the memories. I made more fun memories driving my friends home and going to McDonald's. And they said the funniest stuff and it was like, I can remember the in-jokes, I can remember what they were saying, like the stories that were told.
54:40 Jemma Sbeg? And then the next morning, I was up by eight A M. Like it was still a Sunday, I still had my sleep in, but I was up by eight A M. I was refreshed, I felt amazing, I went for a five K run. And I just thought, wow, like I would not have this energy if I had had four gin and tonics last night. And I would have missed out on so much. And I also didn't get tired, so I was able to stay out longer, which is a big problem I sometimes have when I drink and go out. Like I have two red wines and I'm like, I wanna go to bed. But I really committed to it and it was a great time. Some tips I have for staying sober or trying out sobriety and I really would encourage you to just do thirty days. Um, have like a non-alcoholic drink.
55:25 Jemma Sbeg? That you like so kombucha, diet coke, lemonade, non alcoholic beer, big fan of non alcoholic beer. Not so much non alcoholic red wine, that stuff is disgusting. Um, have your drink that you enjoy that you can bring to the party. You can order at the pub, you can order at the bar, like that really helps you feel like you're still integrated into the experience. Tell your friends that you are sober and like open up a discussion about it. So it's not like expected that you're gonna be drinking and they can actually think through their own drinking choices. And you can change plans based on your choice for the evening. See if someone wants to do it with you.
56:04 Jemma Sbeg? Um, honestly, like one of my friends is doing it at the same time and it's like kind of fun to exchange stories. And just kind of have a bigger goal attached to why you wanna do it. So if you're just like, I wanna go sober for thirty days, but you don't know why, it's gonna be a lot harder to achieve. So mine was really like, this is a personal challenge, I wanna see if I'm capable. For other people, it's like they're training for a marathon, they're training for a big run. Maybe it's that you want to see your skin improve, whatever it is, make sure that the reason you're doing this is really, really clear to you. And honestly, good luck. If you have done it before, please, or if you are someone who is currently sober and has been for a while.
56:44 Jemma Sbeg? What can we expect in a couple of years, what can we expect in like six months, two years, five years? Like I've heard that it gets better and it it changes and that you feel even more energy and more tuned to yourself after a while. And also send over your best tips and I'll share them on Instagram. But I think that's all we have for today's episode. I know it's been a long one, so if you've made it this far, hello. Um, comment a little wine emoji in the comments on Spotify and I'll go through and see who's who's gotten here. But thank you so much for listening. Make sure that if you haven't already, you listen to mantra. If you like the psychology of your twenties and you like the kind of positive calm environment we're creating here.
57:26 Jemma Sbeg? You want some inspiration, mantra is probably gonna be exactly what you're looking for. So you can find it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, just by searching. With Jemma Sbeg. Also, we are open to episode suggestions for this podcast at the moment. If there is something about your twenties you want me to explore the psychology behind, send it through. I would love to hear from you. Make sure you are following along. Make sure that you have left a five star review, please, and thank you if you feel called to do so. And until next time, stay safe, stay kind, be gentle with yourself, and we will talk very, very soon.
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58:48 Jemma Sbeg? something that has kept me really motivated is my Whoop. I am such a data person, which is why I love Whoop, because I can genuinely see why my body feels differently depending on the day, why I'm running differently, why I'm maybe less focused. Whoop effortlessly tracks my sleep, it tracks my strain, my recovery, my stress, and most importantly, my overall health. And it just gives me all that data and all those patterns so I can make better decisions, which includes knowing when to go easy and knowing when to go hard. New members can try Whoop with a 30 day free trial before committing to a membership. That's join dot whoop dot com slash psychology for your free month of Whoop.
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