Pod Insights The Bill Simmons Podcast Philly’s Dominant D, Shaky Mahomes, Shakier Darnold, Shakiest Goff, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal About this episode The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal right after the Eagles take down the Lions to recap Week 11 of the NFL season (1:53). Then, they guess the lines for Week 12 before ending with a special Parent Corner remembering Cleto Escobedo III (01:01:44).
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Cousin Sal
Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo
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Transcript 18,054 words · 3 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead. But what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness, though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun. One, two, three, Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save, savings vary. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network. I have new rewatchables coming for you on Monday night. We did Weird Science. It is a John Hughes movie from 1985, 40 years ago. 1985, not the best year ever, but maybe the weirdest year ever.
0:45 Bill Simmons? And Weird Science, one of the many weird things that came out in 1985. Me and Kyle Brandt did this one. This is a movie that has aged spectacularly and terribly. It's hard to believe it happened, but it's also a delight that it happened. And we broke down basically all of it and every single thing you'd ever want to know about it. So Weird Science is coming on Monday night. Coming up on this podcast, Cousin Sal and I are going to talk about a pretty fascinating Week 11. The playoff picture is starting to get into shape. Some teams are starting to separate themselves. Some teams are starting to sprout holes. The Patriots are somehow looking good. Trying, I'm going to try not to talk about that too much since the game is on Thursday. But we're going to hit all of the football stuff and do a little special parent corner at the end. So it's all coming up.
1:30 Bill Simmons? Take a break, Pearl Jam, and then Cousin Sal. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like needing the protection of an offensive guard on the football field, but getting an elementary school crossing guard. Sure, they're both guards, but you can only trust one to keep your quarterback safe when the game is on the line. So don't settle for just any insurance. When you can have State Farm, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
2:22 Bill Simmons? All right, we are live on YouTube here. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast, Sunday night, Cousins How is here. Mike, why can't we get a good Sunday night game? What do we have to do? Do we have to kill a chicken and spit the blood all over us? What do we have to do, Mike?
2:37 Speaker 01 I get you. We finally get a close game and the refs blow it like, we can't end like that. Start it over.
2:44 Bill Simmons? I wanted to see Jared Goff get redeemed and throw five more incompletions, Mike, even if he only had four downs.
2:51 Speaker 01 The worst.
2:53 Bill Simmons? QBs on good teams where you know right away they might not have it. Is Goff number one?
3:00 Speaker 01 Oh, wow.
3:01 Bill Simmons? I'll offer you Goff, Darnold, Daniel Jones, and Lamar Jackson.
3:04 Speaker 01 Are they all in the NFC North?
3:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah, two of them are.
3:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, boy, it's tough because I'm looking at stats and everything like Goff in cold weather or Goff outdoors and Goff is like, he has like a number like 39 degrees and it was 44 degrees. So I couldn't even blame it on that. But yeah, he really does look like, I mean, he was two for 18. Forget about that call, the last stupid pass interference call, whatever. It's two for 18 down the stretch. It's miserable to watch and the Eagles are miserable to watch too, but they're the Eagles and they play great defense and that's why they're, they're there. But yeah, he is, he is Jekyll and Hyde, boy.
3:40 Bill Simmons? When you say two for 18, just to clarify for the people listening tomorrow who missed the game, Sal means two completions out of 18 attempts.
3:50 Speaker 01 His last.
3:51 Bill Simmons? Two for 18. Like it's literally the John Starks number. Yeah, sometimes you just know. And he, and it was weird because we just watched it happen with Darnold in the, in the game right before against the Rams where just something tilts. These guys that can look like superheroes one day and then the next day Jones is the obvious one. And then Lamar is kind of the wild card. Like our friend Hench was making January Lamar jokes on our text thread during that Cleveland game where sometimes it just doesn't look right. But I guess.
4:21 Speaker 01 About for a second, giving the defense's credit today because watching that Browns defense, like, man, they're they're tough. And Miles Garrett, that poor bastard stuck on that team forever. That sucks. Imagine what he would do.
4:31 Bill Simmons? For it.
4:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, he did. They're probably paying him for it. And the same with Philly, like everything. They were clogging the middle. Everything was getting batted down. Every pass was covered. Like, you know, the the cornerbacks were great. This was not, I feel like Dan Campbell made the call like two weeks too early. It's like, ah, I called all the plays. I called all the offensive plays when they played Washington. It's like, what are you going to say now? You had it every other week? Like, this was just.
4:58 Bill Simmons? He should have given it back to the to the guy this week and then taken it back again. Next, he just keep yanking it back and forth.
5:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'll take it on.
5:06 Bill Simmons? Defense was awesome. Two straight weeks. It's been awesome. And I think, you know, now we're, this is next week's the last Sunday before Thanksgiving. Like, the NFL is now real. We have a nice sense of who might be legitimate, who's not.
5:19 Speaker 01 See, people say they listen and you don't never give good insight on anything. Yes, next, there is last Sunday before Thanksgiving.
5:27 Bill Simmons? One of the reasons, you know, that we've been around forever. We have these these great tidbits. But I feel comfortable saying this now.
5:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:35 Bill Simmons? So about 11 week sample size. I think Philly's defense.
5:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:39 Bill Simmons? Is better than any other unit in the NFC. Right?
5:43 Speaker 01 That's good.
5:44 Bill Simmons? We can at least start there. They're better at playing defense than anyone else is at doing anything else in the NFC. I think is a fair statement, especially the Jalen Phillips trade. You know, they they got some guys back. It just feels like they have a rush. They can stop the run. They can defend the pass. They basically do everything.
6:00 Speaker 01 A lot of guys have, not a lot, but there are teams with good front sevens, front fours, whatever, that you can't run on. You can't pass up the middle against the Eagles. Like, you're gonna get, you should tip all night for three hours. And it's, and it's, it's hideous to watch because I don't like the Eagles. And I find that they're boring. But I guess it would be worse if they were scoring six touchdowns a game. And I had to watch, like, Barkley celebrate and, and, you know, AJ Brown and everything. But, yeah, man, they just, you can't tack that they, every trade they make, that Howie Roseman must be such a pain in the ass, right? To deal with like that.
6:37 Bill Simmons? We boot them, we we are in the fantasy draft where you can kick somebody out.
6:41 Speaker 01 Right.
6:41 Bill Simmons? I feel like we'd kick him out every two years just to get him out of the league. So we'd have a better chance. It's like Howard just comes in, it's like, oh, fuck, I got, I'm gonna get voted out. Yeah, you're gonna get voted out again.
6:51 Speaker 01 That's why everyone's trading with him because he said he's probably calling these other GMs at three in the morning. Like, stop calling, fine, I'll give you three ones for your punter. Just stop calling me, it's good.
7:00 Bill Simmons? Right.
7:01 Speaker 01 And now they have a loaded roster again. It's not gonna change.
7:04 Bill Simmons? Well, it seems like the Patriots were also going after Jalen Phillips.
7:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:08 Bill Simmons? And I think maybe even offering a third. They didn't want to trade him in the division. And you could argue their third's probably slightly better than the Philly third. Around the same. But, uh, yeah, listen, I look at like, even when I think about the Patriots, I think you throw in the Patriots. Their one pass rusher short, you're gonna be feeling the Thursday night game, like Fields had time to throw. There was that receiver, that Mitchell that they got from the Colts. There were multiple times during that game where it felt like he could make a play and either he dropped the ball or he was in the wrong spot, but there were guys open that whole game. Philly, not the same. And especially when we get into cold weather, it's a team built toward January.
7:49 Bill Simmons? And they're, they're, they kind of know who they are, like, they're gonna be super boring. They're, they're gonna make you wonder why they don't throw to the receivers more. Sirianni is gonna do something fucking wacko in the last four minutes, like what he did today.
8:03 Speaker 01 What was that?
8:03 Bill Simmons? They're up 10, just punt. Goff's done nothing. He can't move the ball against you. Why are you giving them any semblance of life and a field goal and any chance to do anything? All you do is punt, you win the game. But he just can't resist, like, just getting weird. He won the Super Bowl, so you can't criticize him too much.
8:20 Speaker 01 He's gotta be the king of fourth and one, right? We could impose our will on you whenever, whenever we want. But yeah, that's, that's, uh, that's, that maybe bites him in the ass eventually, but.
8:30 Bill Simmons? At some point it will.
8:32 Speaker 01 Yeah. And it's weird because I feel like the Lions are also built like tough like the Eagles, except for at the quarterback position. I really do. I feel like the entire team, everybody else is. And, you know, also Gibbs, like every drive was the same. Like Gibbs starts off with an explosive play, either a run or like a screen pass. And then it's just pure shit from Goff, like the next few.
8:54 Bill Simmons? Well, I loaded up on Philly to end the day because I had a couple of things that didn't go well today, but the offensive line having some injuries and that and then Laporta got scratched over the weekend.
9:06 Speaker 01 Right.
9:07 Bill Simmons? And, uh, you know, I don't think that's entirely the reason they scored nine points, but they didn't feel like the same team and I, you could feel the, the blocking is just different than it was last year. I didn't golf like golf had no time to do anything. Not that he was going to do anything. I think that was a way worse loss for Detroit than it was a good win for Philly because Philly should win that game, even though the line was minus three. For Detroit, it's getting a little gamey now for them because I really think we're going to have two playoff teams, but we have three spots for the two playoff teams out of the NFC North. We're not getting three playoff teams in the NFC North. I think we're getting two and it's Chicago, who's seven and three, Green Bay is six, three and one, and Detroit's six and four. And there's some interesting caveats, including
9:52 Bill Simmons? Chicago plays Green Bay twice. Chicago, rest of the schedule, home Pittsburgh, at Philly. They have a home and home with Green Bay. Their home for Cleveland is the only easy one. They're at San Francisco and then they finish against Detroit.
10:05 Speaker 01 I had that written down. They'll, they'll be an underdog in five of their last seven. That's what I think.
10:10 Bill Simmons? Right. So that they, so if they go three and four, they get to 10 and seven, but you know, week after, and we'll talk about that game later. Green Bay six, three and one. They still play at Detroit, home Chicago and at Chicago. And then, uh, and they also play Minnesota twice.
10:25 Speaker 01 And they also suck. Yeah.
10:27 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Right. And they're, and they also make you want to stab your eyes. And then the Lions six and four, but weirdly might have the, I mean, they have the Giants next week. They have Green Bay once at home and they're at, they have at Chicago and that's about it. So I don't, if you had to say who falls out of the, between those three, who would you pick? Chicago seven and three, Green Bay six, three and one, Detroit six and four.
10:51 Speaker 01 I would still say Chicago. I know they have all the wins and they have seven, so they need probably three to get in, but um, I, I, I don't know why. Maybe I'm holding on and I just said Green Bay sucked, but I think you're right. This, this loss. Was worse for Detroit than the win was good for Philly because it does show what November, December could be like in the cold weather and stuff and everything's like a little scattered. Doesn't go their way, you know?
11:14 Bill Simmons? I just don't believe in them at all outdoors if they have to be outdoors in January. Last year's team had more of a case because I think they they were just deeper and their offensive line was better. I don't believe in.
11:24 Speaker 01 They weren't outdoors last year either.
11:26 Bill Simmons? Right.
11:26 Speaker 01 They weren't. It's like now they have like four, I think, the rest of the way.
11:29 Bill Simmons? Well, Fanduel has them plus 285 to miss the playoffs, which is interesting. The Bears are plus 110. So I guess from an odd standpoint, they agree with you. Green Bay's plus 280. So Fanduel's saying, Chicago, we don't believe in this team. We are going to see them fall out of the pack and yet every week they pull a fucking win out of their ass. I have them at two wins, two losses and six either or games and they're seven and three. So that means they're five and five and one in the either or games, basically.
12:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're an unremarkable seven and three. Yeah, at minus 140 to make the playoffs. So I, I don't know. They just, there was a benefit of, I don't know. Do you want to talk about that game now? Like.
12:10 Bill Simmons? Yeah, let's do quicks. They've five come from behind wins. And they're tied for the, or they had, they have the lead now in the NFC North and Ben Johnson's locker room thing is now my single favorite thing to look forward to on Sundays.
12:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:23 Bill Simmons? He did, he did it at the end. He's like, we did it again. All three phases down the stretch. He said that. It's like, but you gave up a, go ahead, scored in Minnesota with like a minute left. I don't know if it was all three phases.
12:37 Speaker 01 Good kick return. That was.
12:38 Bill Simmons? Maybe two. Yeah, you got a kick return. You got a couple of first downs. But, uh, but I mean, there is something about these teams that just pull wins out of their ass. And that's the team this year. So I don't know. Usually, usually it doesn't end. Usually it goes the course of a season and then like has a dramatic overcorrection the next season. So I don't know. You, you think this ends?
13:00 Speaker 01 Well, I do think it ends and but now like Caleb Williams is being lumped in. I know you're not, no, no one loves Bo Nix, but just from that draft class, I see like Drake made eight no. Caleb Williams, seven and one. Bo Nix, eight no in their last eight. So now those guys are all lumped together. So now you hear enough of that and Chicago thinks, yeah, we are a playoff team. We're going to do this. And, uh, I, I don't even, I look at the box score like they had 330 total yards, Chicago. Like you gotta win that game at home if you're Minnesota.
13:28 Bill Simmons? Right. Caleb, it was weird because his, his scrambling is.
13:33 Bill Simmons? Just great.
13:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:35 Bill Simmons? Like he has four or five of, of they're like Lamar level. I can't believe he got out of that place. And then the ball is just going all over the place. And sometimes it's a good place, sometimes it isn't. But he is, he is really hard to take down. And I do feel like there's a little bit of a ceiling with him. If he can just kind of calm down and keep the passes in the mix. I don't know. They rely on those turnovers. They got an unbelievable McCarthy performance today. Like he was so bad, it was almost defied belief. And I, I really thought, I don't even, what school did Max Brosmer go to? Who is Max Brosmer?
14:12 Speaker 01 I think he's actually went to Minnesota College. Yeah.
14:15 Bill Simmons? It got to the point where I was, I just thought he was coming in for the third quarter.
14:18 Speaker 01 Let's see it. Yeah.
14:20 Bill Simmons? Like, well, they can't play McCarthy for another half. Like this is, he's unplayable. Like he was like actually unplayable. They brought him back and then in the last kind of drive, all of a sudden he settled down. It was a little Bo Nix-ish. We really, it was beyond like boot and rally bow. It was something, I, I don't even know what it is.
14:40 Speaker 01 I'm, I'm done giving these quarterbacks nicknames. It gets me in trouble. Started with your guy.
14:46 Bill Simmons? I love your nicknames. The Pats haven't lost since the Drake Baby podcast.
14:49 Speaker 01 Believe me, I know it. I know, I need to, I need to give my own quarterback. I need to call him Dak Prescott, gotta be cut or something. Prescott got something just to inspire him. But you're right, you're eight no since the Drake Baby.
15:02 Bill Simmons? Call him Mr. August or something.
15:04 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah. But Jay, I mean, it was a, I was 16 for 32, 150, two interceptions. Could have been seven interceptions. Could have been anything you wanted out of that. And, uh, it's just, yeah, you're right. Where, where is Brosmer? This Bears, you know, defense isn't great. Like Flacco lit them up in the fourth quarter. Maybe it's just a fourth quarter thing, but he did what he wanted against them. Right? So.
15:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
15:26 Speaker 01 Absolute have to win that game.
15:28 Bill Simmons? I wrote it down before that last drive. McCarthy had 74 yards passing. He had two picks and he was 3.3 point zero yards per attempt. And then in that last drive, basically doubled his stats for the entire game because he he threw for like 75 yards and threw for a touchdown. But it was so bad. And I think big picture like it's it's just cost them the season. But they have to run the slate now and I don't think they're going to run the slate with them. The receivers looked really frustrated and I think their team's pretty good. Like it's their quarterback has just killed them game after game, going back to Wentz. And, uh, you know, they the the Monday night game when he beat them. They was it was the Bears, right?
16:13 Bill Simmons? On that first Monday night game?
16:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:15 Bill Simmons? Yeah. And he got hot basically for
16:18 Speaker 01 It's three point game.
16:18 Bill Simmons? 20 minutes. Um, other than that, not a lot going on with the
16:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, they run the ball too. Like Aaron Jones is back. They do do nice things. It's not like they have to rely on the pass, right? But then you got blue chip receivers, obviously Jefferson and Addison. Those guys shouldn't be getting like six receptions total, whatever it is. I was looking at like adjusted, maybe it's just over. Maybe it's like under five and a half wins. I see like plus 420. That could be it.
16:44 Bill Simmons? What do you mean?
16:46 Speaker 01 I I'm just saying Fandel has adjusted wins like Minnesota under five and a half is plus
16:50 Bill Simmons? Oh, Jesus.
16:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't see a lot. This is still, this is a quarterback that is going to be at a disadvantage in a lot of these matchups.
16:59 Bill Simmons? Well, then the Packers, they beat a bad team.
17:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:04 Bill Simmons? And they looked like shit, which I think is the third or fourth time this year. They had just drops on both sides of the ball. It was really interesting. I don't know how many interceptions they dropped, combined with how many drops their receivers had. Playing the Giants, it was a classic, don't put us in a parlay. We're going to fuck around and make you super scared for three hours. Don't do it. Um, I didn't do it. And of course then put the Cardinals in a parlay instead, which was even worse. But, uh, they're not impressive either. And at one point, what was it? Malik Willis going head to head against
17:37 Speaker 01 Malik and Jameis.
17:38 Bill Simmons? Malik and Jameis, the the matchup we didn't know we were going to get, but, uh,
17:44 Bill Simmons? I, you know, I have some Packers futures. So do you.
17:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:48 Bill Simmons? I thought they'd turn it on or show flashes by now and it's just not happening. And I don't, now that Kraft's out, I'm not, now Jacobs got hurt today. I just don't know if they have the skill guys.
17:58 Speaker 01 No, I think so. Right. It has to be a different, like Watson caught today. Well, he just had a touchdown. But yeah, it's between like six guys who are about the same catching the ball every week. It's, it's a different one, but I don't, I don't know what happened to Jordan Love either. Like we could do this every matchup for anybody, any team who lost. I'm like, what happened to this quarterback? But honestly, like the NFC North was supposed to be the beast, like the heavyweights, right? What trust rating do you put on Goff, McCarthy, Love, Caleb Williams? Like if you were to go one to like, who's, who's one in that? Is it Caleb Williams? Is he one now? Just quarterback.
18:36 Bill Simmons? Like who would you take if you had to win one playoff game?
18:38 Speaker 01 Who'd you trust? Yeah. Yeah.
18:40 Bill Simmons? Some of my choices are Goff, Caleb Williams.
18:43 Speaker 01 McCarthy.
18:44 Bill Simmons? Or Jordan Love.
18:45 Speaker 01 And Love.
18:45 Bill Simmons? Or McCarthy. McCarthy's fourth.
18:47 Speaker 01 Yep.
18:47 Bill Simmons? So let's say I'm outdoors in January on the road.
18:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:52 Bill Simmons? And I've won, I could have one of those four. I'd probably take Love. I don't think I would take Caleb. There's too much, it's too erratic, right? And Goff, I think, even though Goff has had great stats and has been really loyal, Goff's third for me. If the weather's bad and you're playing a good defense, I want, I want no part of that.
19:09 Speaker 01 Love sometimes does that thing where he rears back. Remember that terrible electric football game? And you have, you have the plastic figures and one of them, like you'd have to like really sling his arm back to like, Love does. I'm like, oh, you're not even looking at your receiver. What the hell are you doing? It's, it's second and eight. Even it downfield like that.
19:28 Bill Simmons? I'm trying to think of,
19:31 Bill Simmons? it's almost like, I remember writing about this, like 13, 14 years ago, Ryan Reynolds. When they were trying to make Ryan Reynolds a star for like seven years. Ironically, he belatedly became a star. Thanks to the Deadpool movie.
19:46 Speaker 01 He did alright.
19:46 Bill Simmons? But this was from like 2005 to 2012 and he just kept being starring in movies. And people were like, here, Ryan Reynolds is going to be a star. And it just wasn't happening for years. And it would be like, the Amy Vahar remake. And then it'd be like, here's the Sandra Bullock rom com and it just never happened. And I'm kind of wondering if love's like that where love, we've penciled into this group. And I don't really know what the credentials are, other than he played awesome in that one playoff game that they lost.
20:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:16 Bill Simmons? Was that to the Niners?
20:18 Speaker 01 Well, against the Cowboys, too. I know, I know that's what.
20:21 Bill Simmons? Oh, they beat the Cowboys, right? So they had the one win. All right.
20:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:25 Bill Simmons? Forgot about that.
20:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:26 Bill Simmons? But, but it's, we are penciling him in. In my head, I have him in that category and I don't know if he's earned it at all. Cause we have a lot of games like the one today where they just really look struggling. Well, I would have, I agree with you. I think I would also have the Bears out, even though they have the best record of those three, just cause I don't trust what I'm watching with my eyes. I just feel like they're, they should lose every game I'm watching. It's interesting because we both have Bears fans in our life. There's no Bears fan is like, we fucking got it, man.
20:55 Speaker 01 No way.
20:56 Bill Simmons? Look out. They're kind of like, I can't believe this. How are we seven and three? There, it's enjoyable. They're having a good time, but.
21:04 Speaker 01 I have a Bears friend, fan who said, we're the worst seven and three team of all time. I don't know if I go that far, but it's gotta be one, two others.
21:11 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA Cup is back. It's sure to be thrilling as always. I think the one thing I was like with the NBA Cup. What team is going to come out of nowhere and kind of plant their flag? And make us believe in them going forward because a big spotlight, national TV, good crowds. Who's going to kind of step up in the playoff atmosphere? The best moments are served cold, just like Michelob Ultra. Or a refreshing beer with only 95 calories. Plus Ultra is also helping you see all the excitement up close. And in person with a chance to win courtside tickets. Michelob Ultra, superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside, 25 to 26, no purchase necessary.
21:54 Bill Simmons? Open US residents, 21 plus, begins on October 1st, 2025, ends on June 30th, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. I have a game I want to play with you.
22:08 Speaker 01 Oh.
22:10 Bill Simmons? I'm gonna give you a bunch of things and it's an excuse for us to talk about the different games, but we're gonna rank these sentences in order of improbability from one being the most probable to 10 being improbable.
22:23 Speaker 01 I can't wait.
22:24 Bill Simmons? Here's the first one. Patrick Mahomes blew a fourth quarter lead in a must-win road game and got outplayed by Bo freaking Knicks. 1 to 10, how improbable was that for you as you were watching?
22:35 Speaker 01 Oh, going in, going into the game?
22:37 Bill Simmons? Yeah, even as you were watching, how improbable was it as it was happening?
22:45 Speaker 01 You know what? I'm gonna say, I have to say like four. I had Denver plus, I took the points. I like this.
22:52 Bill Simmons? You've been suspicious of Kansas City for a while now.
22:55 Speaker 01 You wanted to do a parlay, right? With division-winning parlays or something like early in the week? And I was like, I don't have a good feeling about, I actually said on the pregame show, I was like, they're gonna score like 19 or 20 points. Four and a half is too many. I don't know that Bo Knicks can match that, but yeah, I was actually a little more surprised at the defense. I know Mahomes is getting crap, but I thought Spagnola would have something dialed up so that it was 19-7 in the fourth quarter, but it wasn't.
23:19 Bill Simmons? Well, and they just needed a couple stops in the fourth. Knicks was, you know, I think they'll probably, people will probably overreact to Knicks over the course of the week. He's pretty steady today, made a couple of big throws and certainly outplayed Mahomes.
23:33 Speaker 01 I like this game, though. I like it.
23:35 Bill Simmons? Denver runs it for 21 for 59 and they still win. I'm higher. I'm like a seven.
23:43 Speaker 01 Really?
23:43 Bill Simmons? I thought Casey scores, they go up 19-60 and they're about to kick the extra point. And I'm thinking like, oh, why did I worry about the money line? Cause I didn't, it was Casey three and a half and I was worried about the hook. Then of course, Buckner misses the extra point. And he missed the extra point. I was like, holy shit, they're gonna fucking lose. It was like, immediately swung the reaction. But I was like a seven watching it, cause I just felt like it was such a huge game for KC. So you don't wanna go 5-5. They're 5-5, it's nuts. I mean,
24:15 Speaker 01 They're, yeah.
24:16 Bill Simmons? They're minus 225 to make the playoffs, so people still believe, but I, you know, I just think the road's really hard. I know their schedule's getting a little easier, but they have no room for error now.
24:26 Speaker 01 I think it's not, I looked at it. It's not awful. So the, the bad part is they have four teams they lost to ahead of them. Right? So yeah, they're minus, are they minus 220 or something? Is that what you said to make the playoffs?
24:37 Bill Simmons? 225.
24:37 Speaker 01 They have Chargers, the Broncos, Colts, Texans, all at home. And then at Tennessee and at Las Vegas. Now they need, they need what? Uh, five of those to, to make it.
24:47 Bill Simmons? There's some, is there some weird schedule stuff with them though? Like they have.
24:51 Speaker 01 Christmas, Thanksgiving, their Christmas, they play on both. Yeah.
24:54 Bill Simmons? Yeah. I don't love that.
24:56 Speaker 01 The weird thing is they're 0-5 in one score games and they were 11-0 last year. So that's, so what is that? Is that referees? Is that, uh, just Mahomes not having his flair in the last drive? I don't know. I guess we'll see.
25:09 Bill Simmons? So Mahomes, I just don't think he's playing that well. Like it could be one of those things where it's a fun thing to say on a sports talk show. He doesn't hit guys on those deep balls. And when he actually does it, it's either a pass interference or maybe once a game, but he had in the first half, he had open guys that he just missed. And I, I think it was three times, two or three times. I think it was three. But then the red zone stuff has been weird too. Like that interception he threw today was like, uh, you know, that, that was like a, a scrub quarterback interception, right? You're inside the 15. He, he didn't realize that guy was just gonna jump up and catch the ball. Like Mahomes, this shit wasn't happening with him a couple of years ago.
25:52 Speaker 01 Right.
25:52 Bill Simmons? So you can't blame the weapons thing because he has weapons. These guys are like, I think good receivers. He certainly has better weapons than Buffalo does.
26:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think so too. And you're right. And if it wasn't a deep ball, it's, uh, the, you know, rolling right, taking a look down the field, seeing if nothing's there. Oh, wow. He needed eight. He just ran for nine. Like he, he didn't have the flow. He wasn't controlling the game at all. So it is, it is strange, but I, you, what are we gonna do? We're gonna bet against this team? I, I wouldn't take a no at plus 190 or whatever to not make the playoffs. No way.
26:26 Bill Simmons? Plus 480 for the division, which is, has to be the biggest odds they've had since they, Alex Smith was their QB.
26:32 Speaker 01 Isn't it weird that they're ahead of the Chargers who were 550 despite Chargers one and a half game lead?
26:37 Bill Simmons? I mean, they look so awful today.
26:39 Speaker 01 That was the worst loss for a team. Yeah.
26:42 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I don't feel like this is an overreaction. They haven't looked right all year and you can't blame the weapons. I don't think their offensive line is that good. Like they have these holdings every single game. There's like one, two, three, four holdings that just they're like crippling. All of a sudden it's, you know, second and 18, third and 17 because, because over and over again, it seems like their guys can't block. They just don't look right to me. And I, and I think they're running out of time here because let's say they're, let's say they get in now. I don't think they have any chance to be a five seed.
27:18 Speaker 01 No, it doesn't look like it. No.
27:21 Bill Simmons? So you're in the six, seven seed range, but I just, it's gonna be a long haul. They're never gonna, they're not gonna have a home game for the entire playoffs. They're gonna have to play every round. They have some older guys on their team, so there's some injury stuff. And, you know, it was the first time I was watching a Mahomes game thinking to myself, I think, I think my Patriots quarterback would have done better on that one.
27:44 Speaker 01 Oh, you guys with that. Yeah, it's fine. I get it. Yeah.
27:48 Bill Simmons? I did a, I premiered my, uh, my sauna Instagram, uh, sauna YouTube shorts today.
27:54 Speaker 01 I missed it.
27:54 Bill Simmons? I did a quick Mahomes thing. Yeah, I did it in the sauna. And then Chris Ryan pointed out, I should have called it actually hot takes because I'm hot in the sauna. It would have been good.
28:04 Speaker 01 Are you nude or are you wearing some stuff?
28:05 Bill Simmons? No, I wear a t-shirt, which apparently is controversial. Some people don't understand why you have a t-shirt in sauna. But I like to wipe my face with a t-shirt as a, you know.
28:13 Speaker 01 You don't have a towel? I'll have, I'll send you towels. I'll go on Amazon.
28:16 Bill Simmons? Feel of a towel on the face. I'd rather, I know it's weird. I'm not.
28:20 Speaker 01 Colors running, got the ringer green running on you. The Hulk coming out. Oh, well, all right. Let me just say this about the, the Chiefs. We will bet them at Tennessee. We'll put them on a teaser. We'll bet them at Las Vegas. We'll put them on a teaser. We'll bet them home against the Texans. Money line or whatever few points they're given. We'll bet them home against the Colts next week. I won't say the line because it ruins everything. And then the rematch is against Chargers and Broncos.
28:46 Bill Simmons? I don't know. I don't know if I'd feel good about that Colts game.
28:52 Speaker 01 All right. I mean, they have played them tough in the, in the past, but they, you think they get swept by both the Chargers and Broncos? Like, I think they'll get, I think there's five wins on this schedule.
29:02 Bill Simmons? Here's what needs to happen. Mahomes needs to be Mahomes again. If it's going to be whatever this version is, they're not doing jack shit. Like, there's gotta be some other extra thing for him. I think five and five is a big deal. Like, we always compare Brady and Mahomes. Brady went five and five twice in his career. It was the first two seasons he was the starter. I think he lost six games once in a season after 2002. I think he lost, lost five games in a season, like, two or three times total. And this is the guy who's supposed to be on that level, and they're talking goat stuff, and he's a 500 quarterback this season. And some of these losses are his fault. Like, that red zone thing killed them today. I thought their defense played pretty well.
29:41 Bill Simmons? You know, I think his receivers are open. Thornton was open, thought Worthy was getting open, Kelsey was getting open. Like, you can't play in the weapons. So, at some point-
29:50 Speaker 01 I think you just lit a fire under his ass. I mean, this is-
29:52 Bill Simmons? Well, he's playing, honestly, he's playing like he's a 36-year-old quarterback, and he's 30.
29:57 Speaker 01 Right.
29:57 Bill Simmons? And the one time he feels like Mahomes is on these scrambles, because he's still dishing out, it's the one thing, like, he's way better at than Drake May is, is going, going out outside the pocket and actually putting his body in people.
30:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
30:10 Bill Simmons? Drake May's just getting killed. And Mahomes is like, Mahomes knocked somebody in his ass today. But I don't, I just don't think he looks scary this year. Compared to Josh, it was like, the last three quarters of that game when fucking Kaiser Soze against Tampa. That was unbelievable. Like, but I, we haven't seen Mahomes do that in two years.
30:27 Speaker 01 No, I'll give you that. No, for sure. I still think they're a playoff team, based on this schedule.
30:32 Bill Simmons? No, I didn't think they were a playoff team. I thought heading into this game, this was the team I was afraid of. And, you know, thinking like with the Pats, I was on a couple of Pats threads about trying to figure out the seeds, and if we were like the two seed, oh, fuck, that means we could be 2-7 against KC. I don't want to see KC. I still don't want to see KC. But, um-
30:51 Speaker 01 Let's guess the line. Let's guess the line.
30:53 Bill Simmons? Pats KC?
30:55 Speaker 01 2-7.
30:56 Bill Simmons? In New England?
30:57 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
30:58 Bill Simmons? What's KC's record? So Casey's like 11 and 6 or 10 and 10 and 7?
31:04 Speaker 01 10 and 7, yeah. They had to win like 4 to 5 to get in.
31:08 Bill Simmons? I think they put in the tic. I think everyone's so afraid of Mahomes in a big game. I think it would be in the tic tac.
31:12 Speaker 01 Oh, let's get there. That'll be great. Let's just do that.
31:15 Bill Simmons? Listen, it's more fun if he puts the superhero cape on than the guy that is kind of sort of, but not really like. I just think this whole thing's weird. He's 30 years old. He should be peaking and he's not, and I don't really understand the reason.
31:31 Speaker 01 And it's not the offensive line like it has been in the past. Like it's, we've seen him under under seeds like in the Super Bowl and some other games.
31:39 Bill Simmons? He's not playing well enough.
31:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:41 Bill Simmons? Pats, Colts, Broncos win totals. All the overs have covered. The Broncos were nine and a half. Actually, they didn't cover yet. So they're nine and two. It's almost covered.
31:50 Speaker 01 Almost.
31:51 Bill Simmons? But just to be fair, because we didn't talk about Denver at all. Denver's missing a couple of guys. Denver was in a situation that they've been in six, seven times this year where they actually needed their QB to make a couple of plays and he did. Their short arm running backs, Dobbins is out for the year. And I think that's going to hurt them down the road, but I thought that was an awesome win for Denver. Like they have to feel you fall behind. It looks like either three or four. In the fourth quarter and you just assume the Chiefs, oh, this will be the classic Chiefs winning on the road game.
32:22 Speaker 01 Really good.
32:22 Bill Simmons? They pulled it off. It was a nice one.
32:24 Speaker 01 That defense is good. Maybe we're not, and I know you're right. Mahomes hasn't looked good all year, so it doesn't really, we shouldn't just blame this week, but Eagles defense, great. Denver defense, great today. So let's see.
32:35 Bill Simmons? And I actually thought Seattle's defense was really good today.
32:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:39 Bill Simmons? They gave up some stuff early, but they really, uh, they boa constrictor'd Stafford as that game went along. For the conference, Buffalo is the favorite at plus 380, at least on FanDuel. Colts plus 440, Chiefs are third at 5 to 1. Denver six to one Ravens plus 650, which is fucking bonkers. I can't wait to talk about them. And then the Pats are sixth at seven to one, even though they have a real chance to be the one seed and not even play until round two. And if they play, they'd be home.
33:10 Speaker 01 Right.
33:10 Bill Simmons? And they're seven to one to win the conference. I don't understand that at all. But if, if you watch their defense closely Thursday, maybe it made more sense.
33:17 Speaker 01 I have to take that. Another emotional hedge bet. That's a lot. But also I wouldn't, those six teams, I wouldn't be surprised to see any of them in the Super Bowl right now. Would you be like super surprised?
33:27 Bill Simmons? I'd be surprised by Baltimore. I don't think they're very good. We'll get to them. Um, actually, let's do it now. Next, next improbability scale, one to 10, 10 being the highest. Shador Sanders didn't save a Browns blown lead loss at home to Baltimore. How improbable was this for you on a scale of one to 10?
33:51 Speaker 01 Wait, what's the number?
33:52 Bill Simmons? If you want, one's the lowest.
33:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'll, I'll give it a one. I'll give it a one.
33:57 Bill Simmons? It was also a one for me.
33:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. I mean, I like bet Baltimore. So that tells you how much it was confident.
34:05 Bill Simmons? He looked so discombobulated that it actually, we were texting like, does it make sense just to run the ball in the line three times and punt and just have your defense try to win the game versus risking a turnover, going backwards, all stuff that happened when he was the quarterback. He ended up, he was four for 16 for 47 yards, plus a pick. He just wasn't ready for the speed of the game.
34:28 Speaker 01 Miserable interception.
34:29 Bill Simmons? He wasn't ready. It was, it was like they picked him out of the stands and threw him into the game. It was really bad. By the way, Dylan Gabriel, not much better, but at least was, you know, not, not a complete detriment. And I, I, I mean, at one point, the announcer said, Sanders made one completion and the announcer was like, well, he is doing what he does best, making plays from the pocket. And I was like, I was like, what quarterback does that? What quarterback is like bad in the pocket when they have time? Isn't that like part of being a quarterback?
35:02 Speaker 01 He asked chat GBT that's like, I have to say something good about this kid.
35:07 Bill Simmons? Positive compliments.
35:08 Speaker 01 Here are stats, he's four for 16 for 47 yards. Give me a positive statement. I could say like, oh, does what he's doing from a pocket? Okay. All right. I'll read that.
35:16 Bill Simmons? He literally doesn't do anything right because they even the game management, they're down seven. Completes a pass. There's like 220 left on the clock.
35:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:23 Bill Simmons? And they walk it up to the line and it just goes to the two minute warning. It's like, you might've needed that one. You're trying to score a touchdown. It's a try to get one more playoff before the two minute, but it's just, he just should not be playing.
35:33 Speaker 01 Do you understand he had, do you know how many times he was sacked in two years in Colorado?
35:39 Bill Simmons? Well, this, he was famous for this, right?
35:41 Speaker 01 What do you think?
35:41 Bill Simmons? Too long. I mean, it was a lot. It was over a hundred, right?
35:44 Speaker 01 It was 93, which is plenty, but and I'm
35:49 Speaker 01 that not all his fault, but 50 of them were like, I watched a lot of their games. I like, I watched a lot of that conference and like that, that's the whole thing. Yeah. His decision making sucks and they're just going to feast on him now. All right. Granted, he didn't play with the first team.
36:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
36:04 Speaker 01 Is the first team very good? I'm not sure, but he didn't play with the first team all week. So I guess we'll see next week if this concussion holds out, but yeah, that was brutal.
36:14 Bill Simmons? To be fair to Sanders, we get to watch a lot of bad quarterbacks.
36:17 Speaker 01 Yes.
36:18 Bill Simmons? This was a case where it actually swung the game when he came in.
36:22 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
36:22 Bill Simmons? Cause Baltimore did not play well. They didn't look great. It's week 12 next week. They've shown nothing. 17 first downs total, two Lamar picks, too many field goals, no explosiveness. They end up getting the go ahead touchdown on this gimmick, faked, uh, tush, great call, fake tush push. Andrews runs around, runs for like 35 yards, but uh, they don't look like the Ravens at all. And that's why the odds are funny because I think people. Still feel like they're this Ravens team from like two years ago.
36:52 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
36:53 Bill Simmons? They're not even remotely the same team anymore.
36:55 Speaker 01 Well, they were favored to win the division when they were like two and five, right? Now they fought back to five and five and I haven't even checked, but I guess Pittsburgh won. So, yeah, they're minus 280. Like, that's a foregone conclusion that they're gonna win that division. I'll tell you what else is a little off. I think Harbaugh is a little off.
37:09 Bill Simmons? No question.
37:10 Speaker 01 Play calling is very strange. Like, as bad as Shador was, they had, I think it was at the eight yard line. They kicked a field goal to go down three. I was like, freaking go for it there. Like, just go for it. Like, what you, you leave Shador Sanders at his own eight? You're gonna get the ball back in three real minutes, right? So, and there was another, there was another couple of things like that. But, yeah, they're not in sync at all on, on any level. I mean, I thought Henry could just win that game, right? At some point, it was just like, hand off to Henry. He'll bust one open soon.
37:41 Bill Simmons? Well, their O-line has been so bad, I almost think they don't trust Henry like they used to. I asked Mallory Rubin, Giant Ravens fan, for her take, and she said, "The great indictment of the late Harbaugh era continues even in victory. They routinely come out flat and lifeless and unfocused. There's just a discombobulated quality to how they play. That feels pretty damning. It all feels so meh right now. Play calling predictable and flat. Lame, obvious runs up the middle. Blah, blah, blah." She was just like, she's that, all the Ravens fans are like, what, what is happening? How is this the team? We're supposed to be in at least one Super Bowl here in the 2020s. They do not look like a Super Bowl.
38:24 Bill Simmons? That's a team I would want to play in the playoffs, because I don't think, unless Lamar is gonna have some dramatic athletic recovery. All right, I was, I was also one for that one. Next one.
38:36 Bill Simmons? Sam Darnold fell apart in a huge game, threw four picks, and became the GOAT. How improbable was that for you on a scale of one to 10?
38:47 Speaker 01 Still, I would say six, actually.
38:51 Bill Simmons? I didn't think it would be that bad. I was a seven. He had sucked me back in. This is the third time he had sucked me back in. One of the picks wasn't his fault. Three of them were.
38:59 Speaker 01 Right.
39:00 Bill Simmons? And I didn't like the body language and the look on his face after pick three. There was that. It just, you get in the PTSD from those last two weeks last year and, you know, that pass rush was good. It's not like the Rams defense wasn't good, but they were, they weren't that good. He just was a mess.
39:21 Speaker 01 This is another thing I want to get better at. I do want to give the defenses credit. I feel like we did.
39:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
39:25 Speaker 01 With Denver and with Philly just now, and I want to do it with the Rams too. But he, he really did look, he, Sam Darnold looked like a guy named Sam Darnold, like playing quarterback. He was really, to a point where you get a lot of texts from people like, is he throwing the game? Oh, Sam Darnold's throwing the game. And you know what sucks about like living in this era where there's widespread gambling scandals?
39:46 Bill Simmons? Like it becomes the go-to joke.
39:47 Speaker 01 Well, you could just be, yeah, but it's fine if it's a joke. It's like, yeah, he does look like that. And then you'll have friends like, no, seriously, do you think he's, do you think he's actually throwing it? But no, I don't fucking think he's doing it. Stop it already. But this is, this is the, the time we live in. But yeah, I was actually, but then I was surprised that they came back. You're right. Like Seattle's defense stepped up. That was looking like it was going to be like 38 to 10, right?
40:10 Bill Simmons? Yeah, even at the end, you know, they, the Rams actually got a first down after they got the ball back under three minutes left. And it felt like, oh, this is over. And then they stopped them again and somehow got the ball back. You know, at like the 10 with enough time to move the ball down. And even then, like Darnold was going too slow. I almost feel like we need a nickname for his, maybe you can redeem yourself from Drake, maybe.
40:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:37 Bill Simmons? For him? Crappy Alterigo in big games. Cause it's like a Fight Club thing. It's like a, when Ed Norton had the two identities.
40:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:45 Bill Simmons? But I don't know, like, it's like, oh, it's Sam Darnold that's in here today. It's, it's blank. Is it? I was thinking span Darnold?
40:53 Speaker 01 That's good.
40:53 Bill Simmons? Or stand Arnold's?
40:56 Bill Simmons? Or like his, his evil brother Vic. I don't know. It needs to be something, but you kind of know it's just not Sam Darnold.
41:03 Speaker 01 I think it's, it's spam or scam, I think, right?
41:06 Bill Simmons? Scam Darnold. That's really good. Oh, today he was scam Darnold. That's great. I like it.
41:10 Speaker 01 There you go. Now he's going to the Super Bowl because I said those words. There you go.
41:14 Bill Simmons? Fox, after one of the turnovers, they played give it away, give it away, give it away now.
41:22 Bill Simmons? So that was really good. Stafford's MVP case took a, took a slight hit today.
41:28 Speaker 01 Did it? I thought he was favored at it.
41:30 Bill Simmons? I thought Allen was favored. I thought Allen jumped him.
41:34 Speaker 01 No, Stafford's plus one seven.
41:35 Bill Simmons? Plus one seven. All right.
41:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:38 Bill Simmons? 15 for 2830 yards, two TDs.
41:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:42 Bill Simmons? And maybe second. Are the Rams the best team in the NFL to you now? Cause we thought before this game, whoever wins has a stake to the claim or would you go Eagles?
41:51 Speaker 01 I think they're the most complete team. I do. I think that's a very, yeah, it's a very close game if they play the Eagles, but I think they could hang with them because they're tough. And I mean, we saw it last year. They played outdoors. They, they, they were in it. They were one like overthrow away from tying it, I think. So in the snow, I do like them. I did, I did want to point out, this is a weird time we live in, that the Seattle kicker sets up for a 61 yarder.
42:17 Bill Simmons? Yeah, seems doable.
42:18 Speaker 01 To win the game. Seems doable. Fandel only has the Rams at minus 138. Like if you went back in time, like five years ago, the Rams would have been minus 300, you know, 10 years ago.
42:30 Bill Simmons? Plus he made it. He made it right before the timeout.
42:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, right.
42:34 Bill Simmons? They did it again and he missed it.
42:35 Speaker 01 So bizarre that that's only minus 130.
42:37 Bill Simmons? What do you think the stats are on that? The guy makes the super long one, but it was called back for a timeout. Has the guy ever made it again?
42:45 Speaker 01 No, no.
42:46 Bill Simmons? Like ever in the history of football?
42:48 Speaker 01 Would you kick it? I wouldn't kick it the first time.
42:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, but then you're in like a cat and mouse game because they could fake doing the timeout, but then not do it. And they're like, oh shit, they didn't call a timeout.
42:57 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. Well, you gotta kick it. No, I'm saying if you, if you got, if you see the waving, that, you know, all that, you know, the play is dead. I would pass on it.
43:04 Bill Simmons? Don't kick it. Save your kick.
43:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:07 Bill Simmons? Uh, I, what are the conference odds? If I was gun to my head, Eagles are plus 230, Rams plus 310.
43:21 Bill Simmons? I'd probably take the Eagles because of the defense.
43:23 Speaker 01 I mean, the game's in Phil- it's gonna be in Philly, right? They're just gonna roll up wins. Yeah.
43:27 Bill Simmons? I think the East is a much tougher one.
43:31 Bill Simmons? One more improbable for you.
43:33 Speaker 01 I like this.
43:35 Bill Simmons? Josh Allen had 45.8 fantasy points today. How improbable is that to you? Let's go 1 to 10. I went against him in fantasy and still might win.
43:44 Speaker 01 Oh, that's why you've screen grabbed it. Oh, wow.
43:46 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
43:46 Speaker 01 Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:47 Bill Simmons? I was like, who's going against Josh Allen? Oh, no, it's me. The week what I needed to do in 45.8. I don't remember a QB with 45.8.
43:56 Speaker 01 Because you have to run, you have to run a few in, right?
43:59 Bill Simmons? You need like at least two rushing touchdowns.
44:01 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah, I would still give that like a four. I don't know. I, I, I had higher hopes for Tampa's defense. That over under was just mashed.
44:10 Bill Simmons? They were, they were, they got the terrible Allen turnover. Keon Coleman gets scratched this weekend. Kinkade's not playing. It was all set up for them. They had the lead a couple of times. They took the lead back maybe three times. And then Buffalo just kind of pulled away. And then, you know, it's funny because we were blowing Mayfield that first.
44:31 Speaker 01 Whoa.
44:31 Bill Simmons? First month. Oh, just blowing smoke at him.
44:33 Speaker 01 Oh, I see. Okay.
44:35 Bill Simmons? I just feel like he misses throws sometimes now. He's kind of moved back toward two years ago, Baker, a tiny bit.
44:42 Speaker 01 We should have a list of quarterbacks we think are injured. I was just gonna say.
44:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
44:46 Speaker 01 Like, could Mahomes be injured? Could Mayfield be injured? Could Goff's, you know, I think something's wrong with his head.
44:52 Bill Simmons? I would believe if you gave me all the QBs and said, one of these guys is hiding an injury, Mayfield would be my pick.
44:57 Speaker 01 Baker's number one?
44:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it's like, oh, he has like a torn labrum or like some sort of really bad injury. We don't know about. Because it also seems like he doesn't want to run with the same.
45:06 Speaker 01 Right.
45:06 Bill Simmons? zest.
45:07 Speaker 01 Right.
45:08 Bill Simmons? So like he has like a hairline fracture of his left collarbone or something like that. But he doesn't.
45:13 Speaker 01 But also, we, we, maybe like we, we.
45:17 Speaker 01 We give a guy like Baker credit who just throws fourth quarter touchdown passes like the it's nobody's business and we expect him to do that every week. And so maybe the guy who's been traded six times, it's not going to happen every week.
45:31 Bill Simmons? Right. Yeah, it was even it was 2120 at halftime Buffalo.
45:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:36 Bill Simmons? It was 2621 halfway through the third quarter Tampa.
45:40 Speaker 01 Right.
45:42 Bill Simmons? It was 2624. They had the ball with five minutes left in the third and then that was that's when he threw that pick. And then, uh, yeah, they it was they were up 3231 with 13 minutes.
45:57 Speaker 01 The punt, right? They signed Hardman and they fumbled the punt. I mean, you're right. It was all Josh Allen. It's what Mahomes couldn't do like, and he was connecting on long passes too. Like that stuff we hadn't even seen him do. Um, you know,
46:09 Bill Simmons? I don't know where Ernie Shavers came from. We're just calling him Ernie.
46:13 Speaker 01 Ernie Shavers.
46:15 Bill Simmons? That's my single I my Instagram algorithm just feeds me a lot of boxing and please keep, keep it coming. My favorite knockout that wasn't a knockout was Shavers knocking down Holmes and Holmes is getting up. I don't think anyone's ever got up from a more ferocious punch ever in the history of the heavyweight division. He goes, he, he's dead for a second and then he just gets up and you're just like, how did he get up from that? And Shavers can't believe it. And then Shavers is just throwing these crazy bombs trying to take him out. Holmes somehow gets out of it and wins the fight, but.
46:49 Speaker 01 And to me, Ernie Shakier's greatest moment was being the guest referee between Tommy Wildfire Rich and Bulldog Buzz Sawyer.
46:56 Bill Simmons? Oh, my God.
46:57 Speaker 01 Gordon Solly announcing it like it's a life changing event.
47:02 Bill Simmons? So Tampa rushes for 202 yards. They ran the ball down Buffalo's throat. They ran for 5.2 a carry and they lost and they lost by double figures. Um, and they lost my Tampa plus 10 in apes. But I, I think Tampa is the lead favorite for the, uh, to host the Shaky's game on Saturday.
47:26 Speaker 01 Oh, interesting.
47:28 Bill Simmons? Because it's either them or whoever wins the AFC North, I think is hosting the Shaky's game.
47:33 Speaker 01 Well, it's typically an AFC South winner, but that team's good this year, right?
47:38 Bill Simmons? That's gonna be the Colts and that might be, I mean, the Colts might be a one seed. They might not even have a Shaky's game.
47:43 Speaker 01 Right.
47:44 Bill Simmons? And it's not gonna be the Pats. They'll put the Pats on Saturday night because they always do.
47:48 Speaker 01 Right. And the Chargers, Denver, they'll get the night game or something, or they'll, they'll get some kind of late game too. It's like Sunday night or something. Yeah, you're right.
47:57 Bill Simmons? Can I just say Tampa, Green Bay, Shaky's game.
47:59 Speaker 01 Your fricking team is seven and one is crazy. I, I don't think you could put a team that allowed 200 yards on the ground. And it wasn't a surprise to like, the, the Bundo and Hyphens were talking about it like this Syracuse Tucker guy, he's gonna run for, who know, triple digits like, all right, guys, calm down. This is, this is their team right now. Like, I don't know if you could put them at the top of the AFC odds wise, if they're giving up this many yards rushing. It's too easy.
48:26 Bill Simmons? I genuinely think the Patriots would beat them in a playoff game. I just think we would move the ball up and down the field on them. And then Josh would have to basically do what he did today to hang, to hang with the Pats. I think there's other teams that would be a bad matchup, but I think Buffalo is a good matchup for them.
48:42 Bill Simmons? All right, another one.
48:45 Bill Simmons? Justin Herbert got knocked out of a Chargers game and suffered a possible concussion. What was the improbable skill for you on this one? Cause for me it was a one, cause you could see this coming last week and they can't block for him anymore. And he was taking fucking massive hits and there's just no way he's making it through the season, I don't think.
49:06 Speaker 01 I'll give it a two, but I mean, your guy kind of plays the same brand of ball, doesn't he?
49:11 Bill Simmons? Who?
49:12 Speaker 01 I can't say his name. Drake, Drake, maybe, yeah.
49:15 Bill Simmons? I think May gets way better protection than this Chargers thing. This Chargers thing was bad today. They, these guys were like running 12, like basically running 10 yard dashes, just hitting them.
49:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:27 Bill Simmons? As he's throwing it. Uh, they're plus 134 on Fanduel to miss the playoffs right now. And I, I don't see the case for them making it.
49:36 Speaker 01 Really?
49:37 Bill Simmons? So they're seven and four.
49:40 Bill Simmons? They have Vegas at home next week, so let's give them that one, eight and four. But then they play Philly, KC, at KC, at Dallas, Houston, at Denver. I don't think they get to 10 wins.
49:50 Speaker 01 At Dallas, Houston, that's, that's two, they should win two games.
49:55 Bill Simmons? Not if they're gonna block like they blocked today.
49:56 Speaker 01 No, I know. It was bad today. It was bad and the injuries are no good and everything else.
50:01 Bill Simmons? And by the way, you can run the ball down their throats. It's not like they have a good defense. Like, I know they have offensive line injuries, but what's the excuse for the defense? What was the excuse for Jacksonville just demolishing them? And it was like, at the end and tooting, they're just like running all over them. I took that game off. I didn't even have that game on a TV by the end. It was like 35 to six.
50:22 Speaker 01 There was seven, there was seven early games and what would you, like, the other six all came down to like the last four minutes at least. That one was gone. I think they, some of the networks left it too. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, they look good against the Steelers though. I don't like to react this way, right? Like they, what's, what's different about that? And yet, like every week, it's funny, I was saying on the pregame show, it's, we talk about Joe Alt for like four minutes. The guy never touches the ball and yet it does today, it really reared its ugly head and how good he is.
50:51 Bill Simmons? That Steelers game though, Rogers was horrible. Like Rogers was like Sanders today. Like he was so bad, it almost didn't give Pittsburgh a chance. And I wonder if that kind of threw people off the scent. I loved the Jags today. That was one of my favorite picks.
51:07 Speaker 01 Herbert murdered my guillotine league. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. I got like four points from him.
51:11 Bill Simmons? I think you're done too.
51:12 Speaker 01 He was brought into the, the blue tent and interrogated by authorities for what he did to my fantasy team, leading up to that moment.
51:19 Bill Simmons? Meanwhile, the Jags, we gotta shout them out in our continuing quest to not just talk about, uh, one team.
51:30 Bill Simmons? It's a pretty nice win. They had a terrible loss last week, right? Kind of loss, you have that Davis Mills game where you're, you're seizing my crater and instead it went the other way. And so now they have, what are they set? They're seven and four now? But they still have Arizona and Tennessee and the Jets left, like, and Tennessee again? Like, they're making the playoffs now.
51:52 Speaker 01 This is why we like them. I know.
51:55 Bill Simmons? So what are they to make the playoffs?
51:58 Speaker 01 I was looking, uh, where are they?
52:00 Bill Simmons? They are minus one eighty make the playoffs now. So.
52:06 Speaker 01 It's not a bad bet. They're just so weird.
52:09 Bill Simmons? Get to eleven wins.
52:10 Speaker 01 We're such a weird team.
52:12 Bill Simmons? Well, if they get to eleven wins. Then that's at least one of the bars. The Chargers somehow get to eleven wins, which I don't think they will.
52:22 Bill Simmons? Then that means the Chiefs basically have to get to eleven wins.
52:26 Speaker 01 I just, you know, the Jags gave up twenty nine points to Davis Mills in the fourth quarter last week. You know, it's always, I, I was trying to make a case for them, like this is maybe one of the top five wins of all time, even though they beat the Chargers in a great playoff game. And then like, wow, they made the AFC championship three times, but, um, I, I still think this was better.
52:44 Bill Simmons? They almost had us.
52:45 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah.
52:47 Bill Simmons? And heading in that fourth quarter was like, oh my God, this is.
52:50 Speaker 01 Was it by ten? Did they have you by double digits?
52:51 Bill Simmons? They were up by ten. It was like, wow, Blake Bortles is gonna end us.
52:57 Bill Simmons? Last one. Jacoby Brissette was forty five for fifty seven for four hundred and fifty two yards and two touchdowns, and still didn't cover any eighteen point T's. How is that for a problem? I'm just going one to ten. I'm gonna go with a solid ten.
53:13 Speaker 01 The second part is a one, but, uh, didn't he have forty seven? Did you say forty five?
53:19 Bill Simmons? He was forty seven for fifty seven for four hundred and fifty two yards. And they had the classic guy about to run in for the touchdown, getting script, stripped of the goal line.
53:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:30 Bill Simmons? Which I've now bet on that team, I think, all five times it's happened this season. I don't know what it is, but, um, San Francisco's defense is completely fraudulent. Like completely, and that's a team that they're seven and four, may, and might be a playoff team. Right?
53:48 Speaker 01 Well, that's, that was our seven seed. I'm sticking with that. I'm sticking with them.
53:52 Bill Simmons? Their defense is awful.
53:54 Speaker 01 Their next four is the easiest schedule in football, and then their, their last three is the hardest, I think. So this was a perfect tune up for Purdy. And by the way, they got a lot of calls here. Uh, I think there was like, the penalties were like one thirty to, to fifteen or something. So they were better. They'll, they'll, they'll push teams like this around, but, um.
54:12 Bill Simmons? Offensively, they looked the best they've looked. But they do have, they have Carolina next week. Then they go to at Cleveland, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which we've now, I, I just don't think that's an easy game. I don't care how easy it looks on the schedule. There's nothing easy about it. And they also have at Indianapolis and home Seattle end of the year. So it's going to be either 10 or 11 for them.
54:36 Speaker 01 Should Shanahan give Brissette a game ball? Should he like walk to the other locker room? I didn't, I didn't see the press conference, but 47 completions. My God.
54:46 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that's a lot. All right, I think that's it. That's all I had for the game.
54:50 Speaker 01 I like that game. We should bring that back.
54:52 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. And whether it's a flea flicker or a tush push, you need a plan that fits your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you. So they can help personalize coverage for your life and for your budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside.
55:38 Bill Simmons? Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game, only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows your live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. Cross off teams.
56:20 Bill Simmons? Jets, Brown, Tennessee, Miami, Saints, Vegas, Giants, seven. Arizona, Washington, Cincy. Can we add Cincy? That's 10.
56:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:31 Bill Simmons? Would you put Minnesota on yet?
56:33 Speaker 01 I think I put Atlanta before Minnesota.
56:36 Bill Simmons? That was my other question.
56:37 Speaker 01 What a bunch of jackasses.
56:38 Bill Simmons? I think Atlanta is in. I don't, because Minnesota still plays a couple of these teams.
56:42 Speaker 01 Right.
56:42 Bill Simmons? More. I don't know if they are, but I think Atlanta is.
56:45 Speaker 01 Who's FanDuel hate more?
56:47 Bill Simmons? Uh, Atlanta.
56:49 Speaker 01 They do. Yeah, they should. They suck. And we see every week, we say like, let's just take them off the ledger of bets. And then, uh, then I'm like, oh, they have the second best defense. And like the, just, just awful. Just, I mean, they ought to be ashamed. If they come close to making the playoffs, which I don't think they will. They got skunked by the Panthers and then the rematch, they gave up 448 yards to Bryce Young.
57:12 Bill Simmons? And three TDs and no picks.
57:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:15 Bill Simmons? And Carolina is now a half game back in the NFC South.
57:17 Speaker 01 Come on.
57:18 Bill Simmons? What did the bundle say today on the show? It's 18-1.
57:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:22 Bill Simmons? At one point, the Panthers to win the division?
57:24 Speaker 01 The division, yep.
57:25 Bill Simmons? Um, by the way, for people listening, our Sunday pregame show, we're now on the FanDuel Sports Network. So you can get on YouTube and get on Twitter or like, there's 29 markets. A lot of them are either east coast or the south, or some in California, but there's, it's a bunch of different markets. But, uh, it's coming on 11 o'clock now every day. It's a great show. We're really proud of it. So, uh, and the cousin's on there. He's doing double duty.
57:47 Speaker 01 I'm on, Joe House gave out a 50 to one winner today with Kenneth Gainwell to score two touchdowns. Come on, people.
57:53 Bill Simmons? That was 50 to one?
57:54 Speaker 01 50 to one.
57:56 Bill Simmons? Wow.
57:56 Speaker 01 Maniac.
57:58 Bill Simmons? Can I mention a quick Atlanta thing?
58:00 Speaker 01 Sure.
58:00 Bill Simmons? Atlanta has been the team that I think has burned us the most this year, or they're in the running.
58:05 Speaker 01 This decade, yeah.
58:07 Bill Simmons? They traded next year's number one.
58:11 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
58:12 Bill Simmons? For the 26th pick because they wanted to get the two pass rushers because they were like, look how smart we are. We loaded up on the pass rush. They're three and seven. They traded that pick to the Rams.
58:24 Speaker 01 Right.
58:24 Bill Simmons? The Rams have Atlanta's pick and that's going to be like. The seventh pick in the draft, like what an amazing trade. They basically gave up number 26, got a second rounder and Atlanta's first. I mean, that's a fireable trade and the basketball, the guy's getting fired. I don't know how the NFL works.
58:41 Speaker 01 Howie Roseman will steal that pick somehow when no one's looking.
58:44 Bill Simmons? Yeah, somehow that's going to be on Philadelphia.
58:46 Speaker 01 I this, uh, I mean, those pass rushers are good. Their defense is usually good. That's why I picked them today, but not the, I mean, the fourth and four up 24 19, under two minutes left. And Young hits Bryce Tremaine, like that's how, that's how they're losing these games. Uh, you could tell that's where I lost my money.
59:07 Bill Simmons? Why would you bet the Falcons?
59:10 Speaker 01 I don't know. I don't know. And the Panthers are what 360 to make the playoffs? They're not making.
59:17 Bill Simmons? The Falcons, they're this year's champagne room stripper that the buddy's gone. I think she likes me.
59:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:23 Bill Simmons? It's the Falcons.
59:26 Bill Simmons? Two more things really quick. Mason Rudolph replaced Rogers midway through an easy Steelers win over the Bengals. And I didn't even realize it happened. It was on one of my TVs. The Steelers game was so forgettable and so kind of blah, that I didn't even realize there was a quarterback change for like a half hour. So that happened. I also forgot Texans Titans was even happening early and didn't realize until I wanted to get out of the 35 to six game. And saw there was a seventh game, which I'd forgotten. I was like, oh, Texans Titans had put no thought into it.
59:57 Speaker 01 Hold on, you didn't know it was early? You didn't know it was on the schedule?
1:00:01 Bill Simmons? It was on and it wasn't in when I looked at YouTube TV. I didn't see it.
1:00:04 Speaker 01 Oh, even they.
1:00:05 Bill Simmons? And I just.
1:00:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:07 Bill Simmons? So I did catch the, uh, the big Cam Ward drive, which I think was the best moment of his career. But, uh, if that doesn't describe that game, I don't know what does.
1:00:15 Speaker 01 You know, when we're talking about like getting alerts on our phone, like House has a thing now. If the Wizards are that are up double digits in the fourth, we should get an alert on our phone from FanDuel so that we can know immediately. Like the Titans were favored in the second half, like your phone should, it should literally blow up after 10 seconds. If you don't do anything about it, it should shake and then blow.
1:00:34 Bill Simmons? That's hilarious.
1:00:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:36 Bill Simmons? Last one is Miami in the Europe game, which I'm so proud. Not only do I not bet on anymore, I don't even wake up till halftime anymore. Like they could have their shitty Miami, whatever Miami, Washington matchup. Woke up at halftime, put you guys on and had the game on the small left team with no, left TV with no sound. Miami's now four and seven and they have New Orleans and the Jets next. And I thought I was gonna win every Miami under I had and now I have to sweat out Miami under six now. But they had an overtime interception where they deferred.
1:01:13 Speaker 01 Right.
1:01:13 Bill Simmons? They won the toss in overtime, they deferred in a 10 minute overtime. And then Jordan Brooks, the linebacker, said, Jack Jones said before the overtime interception, if y'all stop the run, Mariota is gonna throw it to me because he can't throw. And then Jack Jones picked off Mariota in overtime after telling his teammates he was going to.
1:01:34 Speaker 01 That's amazing. What a show off.
1:01:36 Bill Simmons? Marcus Mariota, everybody. He's done it again. He's still making history. So maybe he was the worst quarterback today.
1:01:42 Speaker 01 Think about it, like how exhausted defenses are in overtime and they choose to go on defense first. They could get another seven minute breather, you know, if the other team gets a couple of first downs.
1:01:53 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it's like a special level of being a mediocre to worse quarterback that a team would defer and give you the ball in overtime.
1:02:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:01 Bill Simmons? It's like the number one thing you would want to do.
1:02:02 Speaker 01 I mean, we were doing the pregame, so my takeaways were nobody could score on fourth and goal from the one and Tua wants to play in Jerusalem now. So that's all I, that's all I got from that. That's what he said.
1:02:14 Bill Simmons? Miami got stuffed twice on two different fourth and goals and somehow still won. So we have four two-loss teams, the Patriots, the Broncos, the Rams and Philly.
1:02:28 Bill Simmons? I don't think any are cross offs.
1:02:30 Speaker 01 No cross offs out of those, no.
1:02:31 Bill Simmons? Five, two lost teams. And then we still in the East, I mean, I'm sorry, in the AFC. Let's say New England, Denver, Indy, Buffalo, I'll make it. It's four.
1:02:44 Bill Simmons? Pittsburgh, Jacksonville and the Chargers are all six and four.
1:02:49 Bill Simmons? Baltimore and KC and Houston. Five and five. So there's a lot of people left in the AFC.
1:02:55 Speaker 01 Why do we, it's so funny, none of those two lost teams are just, are the ones we're used to. If I got, all right, the Bills are two, the Bills are minus 3,000 to make the playoffs. I want to do a parlay with the Bills, the Ravens and the Chiefs. It's minus 102. Do you lose that parlay?
1:03:13 Bill Simmons? Bills who and the Chiefs?
1:03:14 Speaker 01 Bills, Ravens, Chiefs.
1:03:15 Bill Simmons? I don't trust the Ravens.
1:03:18 Bill Simmons? I wouldn't put them in.
1:03:20 Speaker 01 Who's going to steal the division from them?
1:03:22 Bill Simmons? Maybe the Steelers.
1:03:23 Speaker 01 Mason Rudolph?
1:03:24 Bill Simmons? The Ravens are trying to tell us they're not good. That they're, every week they're, they're really, they're, they're spelling it out. They're holding up signs, we're not that good. So I've not seen any signs.
1:03:36 Speaker 01 Right.
1:03:37 Bill Simmons? Guess the lines. You won last week.
1:03:39 Speaker 01 Yeah. I'm gonna keep winning.
1:03:43 Bill Simmons? You had a good week?
1:03:43 Speaker 01 No, I don't think so.
1:03:45 Bill Simmons? Okay.
1:03:46 Speaker 01 There's some monster lines in here that I did not get right.
1:03:50 Bill Simmons? Thursday night is a surprisingly good game. Bills, Texans in Houston.
1:03:55 Bill Simmons? It's a winner.
1:03:57 Speaker 01 Josh Allen's not going to have six touchdowns in this one, I don't think.
1:04:00 Bill Simmons? He will not. Houston's secondary is very, very, very, very good.
1:04:07 Bill Simmons? I'm interested to see if Texans can run the ball in this game. I have the Bills minus three.
1:04:11 Speaker 01 All right, I get it. If I said three and a half, it's four and a half.
1:04:15 Bill Simmons? That's too high.
1:04:17 Speaker 01 Sorry, it's, it's three and a half. It moved down, but either way, I got it.
1:04:21 Bill Simmons? That's not as high.
1:04:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04:22 Bill Simmons? Three and a half is fine.
1:04:26 Bill Simmons? That's a really good Thursday night game.
1:04:27 Speaker 01 Well, so he'll be back, right? Stroud?
1:04:31 Bill Simmons? I don't know. He doesn't play on Sunday. How's he gonna play on Thursday?
1:04:34 Speaker 01 And I don't know if that's a really good game.
1:04:37 Bill Simmons? I wouldn't play him.
1:04:39 Bill Simmons? Sunday marquee game, pretty obvious. We're going to KC. Chiefs Colts. Daniel Jones and Patrick Mahomes get to renew the rivalry.
1:04:50 Bill Simmons? It's either minus three or minus three and a half. I went with the Chiefs minus three.
1:04:55 Speaker 01 Just take it. Whatever you got. I said two and a half. It's, it is three and a half.
1:04:59 Bill Simmons? Okay.
1:05:01 Speaker 01 Hmm.
1:05:05 Bill Simmons? Winnable game for the Colts. I think they can run the ball on them.
1:05:10 Speaker 01 Fresh off a bye.
1:05:11 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Lot of pressure. I actually like that the Chiefs are home for this because I think if anything bad happens, the crowd's gonna fucking get very sphincter tighty.
1:05:20 Speaker 01 Yep.
1:05:21 Bill Simmons? Almost would rather be on the road if I'm the Chiefs. That's a really good game.
1:05:24 Speaker 01 Great game. It's an early game, huh?
1:05:26 Bill Simmons? Is that an okay Jim game?
1:05:28 Speaker 01 It might be an okay Jim. Yeah, of course.
1:05:30 Bill Simmons? Okay, Jim.
1:05:34 Bill Simmons? Only have two watchables. Chicago at home for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Unclear if Rodgers is playing. He had a slight fracture in his wrist.
1:05:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's his left wrist. They're saying it's some kind. And that's the wrist he uses to jerk off to UFOs. So I don't even know. I could see him not playing.
1:05:54 Speaker 01 I don't know that to be true. So that's just a guess.
1:05:56 Bill Simmons? It's just a rumor.
1:05:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:59 Bill Simmons? I have the Bears favored by three at home against the Steelers.
1:06:02 Speaker 01 You nailed it. I went low. Yeah, I went one and a half. It is three. It's exactly three.
1:06:10 Speaker 01 That's, that seems like Mason Rudolph.
1:06:11 Bill Simmons? You know what this is? This is the horseshoe up the asshole Super Bowl.
1:06:15 Speaker 01 Right.
1:06:16 Bill Simmons? They should start marketing it that way. It's two teams that have just pulled horseshoes out of their fucking rectums for three straight months.
1:06:23 Speaker 01 You know, is there any?
1:06:24 Bill Simmons? Now it's a horseshoe battle.
1:06:26 Speaker 01 Of course, there's like rivalry with Rodgers and the Bears, right? Like we own them. All that stuff he would say. So it's probably better off the Steelers go with Mason Rudolph. Little score to settle there. Oh, he was, he actually, I know, I'm thinking of Trubisky. Never mind. I'm out of it.
1:06:45 Bill Simmons? I think it's fine to get Trubisky confused with, with the other guy.
1:06:50 Speaker 01 I just spent hours with my father. I'm like, please don't, why? Don't turn it.
1:06:54 Bill Simmons? Yeah, we're gonna go through the weekend you had in a little bit. This is amazing performance by you, just to be coherent on the Sunday night pod.
1:07:03 Bill Simmons? Eagles at Dallas, your favorite team.
1:07:07 Speaker 01 I don't know about that.
1:07:08 Bill Simmons? You could be five, five and one after this game.
1:07:11 Speaker 01 Oh, stop the nonsense here.
1:07:15 Speaker 01 I'm so mad at this line.
1:07:17 Bill Simmons? I put this line, I fucking rammed it into the Vegas zone. Like dead center minus five, Vegas zoned it up.
1:07:28 Speaker 01 Well, I said six because that's where it should start. Cause one's a very good team that we think is going to win the conference. Yeah, arguably, and one is a team that doesn't belong in either conference. And it's three and a half. So you get it.
1:07:43 Bill Simmons? Wow.
1:07:43 Speaker 01 I mean, they're full of shit with this.
1:07:45 Bill Simmons? That feels a little too low.
1:07:46 Speaker 01 Three and a half.
1:07:48 Speaker 01 By the way, can I just go as good as the late games were this week?
1:07:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:07:52 Speaker 01 Next week, late afternoon, Browns, Raiders, Jags, Cardinals, Falcons, Saints, Cowboys, Eagles.
1:07:59 Bill Simmons? Oh, my Lord.
1:08:00 Speaker 01 If the Eagles go up like 13, nothing.
1:08:01 Bill Simmons? It's a poop fact of special.
1:08:03 Speaker 01 Really bad. Yeah.
1:08:06 Bill Simmons? Fairly watchable, only have three. Pats at Bengals.
1:08:12 Bill Simmons? Bengals, uh, wow.
1:08:16 Bill Simmons? It's not a good football team.
1:08:17 Speaker 01 They're not. That's why I love Pittsburgh today. That defense is just, eventually you'll get to them. 117 points in three games before this. This is watchable because their, their defense allows nice big plays for you.
1:08:31 Bill Simmons? I have the Patriots. I, so I put some thought into this one. I think it's gonna be Patriots minus six and a half.
1:08:40 Bill Simmons? What is it?
1:08:41 Speaker 01 I said eight. That's seven. Why is it seven? You're the best team in the universe. Why is this, since he loses to everybody?
1:08:50 Bill Simmons? I think you can throw in the Pats.
1:08:54 Speaker 01 You could throw on them? Oh.
1:08:55 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:08:56 Speaker 01 So what?
1:08:58 Bill Simmons? I just think they can hang around in this game.
1:09:01 Speaker 01 I mean, it's gonna have to be flag. You don't give up 60 yard rusher games, right? So it's gonna have to be all Flacco.
1:09:10 Bill Simmons? Jags at Cardinals.
1:09:15 Bill Simmons? And the Jags are gonna be favored. And this is a classic. Let's be careful out there on the Jags. Trusting them. Betting real money on them, assuming that they're gonna just cruise through this. I would just be careful all the way around. I have Jags minus three.
1:09:32 Speaker 01 All right, you get it. I said one and a half and it's two and a half. I'm cashing out now. Sorry, Jacoby. Jacoby's my biggest fan in Guess the Lines. I don't like the way this is going.
1:09:44 Bill Simmons? You tapping out?
1:09:46 Speaker 01 I'm cash.
1:09:46 Bill Simmons? Just tap out?
1:09:47 Speaker 01 I'm gonna cash out, I think. I guess it's the same thing.
1:09:51 Speaker 01 You like this? Lots of easy games.
1:09:52 Bill Simmons? Did you see the UFC fights last night?
1:09:54 Speaker 01 I missed them though. I didn't get to see them.
1:09:56 Bill Simmons? The last two, which were great.
1:09:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:09:59 Bill Simmons? Well, the last two were supposed to like these great championship fights. Just like, oh, you knew in two minutes what was gonna happen in each one. Just the, the, uh, the female fight, just domination. Then Islam, just domination.
1:10:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:10:14 Bill Simmons? Just domination. The guy is like.
1:10:19 Bill Simmons? I, I just don't know what you would do if you had to fight him in the octagon. I don't know what, he lulls you to sleep. He does stand up. You're like, oh, cool. We're gonna do, and then all of a sudden you're on the ground, on your back. And you're like, wait, I thought we were doing stand up. And he just does it every round.
1:10:34 Speaker 01 Yeah. That's what you're saying. This is like you beat me in Guess the Lines? I could see that.
1:10:39 Bill Simmons? I'm Islam.
1:10:40 Speaker 01 Yeah. Domination. Not good.
1:10:42 Bill Simmons? Packers Vikings in Green Bay. And I think this goes in the Vegas zone as well. I have Packers minus five and a half.
1:10:50 Speaker 01 All right, I had five and a half also. It's six and a half.
1:10:55 Speaker 01 You see any teasers you like? New England and Green Bay?
1:10:58 Bill Simmons? Hard to think J.J. McCarthy is gonna go into Lambeau and do anything, but.
1:11:03 Speaker 01 Kind of is, yeah.
1:11:06 Bill Simmons? Five poop fact the games, never a good sign for the weekend. Lions home for the Giants. I put that in double figures, Lions minus 10 and a half.
1:11:17 Speaker 01 That is.
1:11:19 Speaker 01 I, that's one I have to steal from you. I said 11, it's 10 and a half. You're looking at these ahead of the, you know, you're not supposed to look at these ahead of time. We do, you guess, and then we check, you know, versus your guess, we cross.
1:11:32 Bill Simmons? Don't look at them. Falcons at the Saints. How embarrassing is it that the Falcons are favored in this game? Cause I think they are. I'm gonna say Falcons minus two and a half.
1:11:43 Speaker 01 Oh, come on. That's what I said. It is two and a half. We both get it.
1:11:48 Bill Simmons? Anyone who bets on this game should.
1:11:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're right. I'm staying away, except it's probably the best four o'clock game.
1:11:54 Bill Simmons? It's, this is, go see a psychiatrist if you're betting this game. Raiders Browns in Vegas.
1:12:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:00 Bill Simmons? So this is the road Browns who are terrible, always. Possibly with Shador Sanders, and I still don't think the Raiders are favored by three. I said Raiders two and a half.
1:12:10 Speaker 01 I had two and a half also. It is three.
1:12:13 Speaker 01 Is this a, an FU game for Shador? Like Vegas passed on him like six times. I mean, everybody passed on him like fourth time, but they, remember they had like back to back picks.
1:12:22 Bill Simmons? I think every game is an FU game for him.
1:12:24 Speaker 01 The whole thing passed on him over and over again. They had that spot where they had like three picks and like added 25 and they.
1:12:30 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:12:31 Speaker 01 Everybody thought they would take.
1:12:32 Bill Simmons? Seems like everybody was right. Ravens home for the Jets. This has to be double figures.
1:12:41 Bill Simmons? Ravens minus, it's in Baltimore. I have Ravens minus 10 and a half.
1:12:45 Speaker 01 Okay, I get this. Uh, I said 13, it's 14 and a half.
1:12:49 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that's stupid. I mean, I get it, but I just don't think the Ravens are explosive enough to carry a line that big. What is the evidence? They settle for field goals over and over again.
1:13:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:13:01 Bill Simmons? The Jets aren't like, Jets aren't terrible. Like, they hung around with the Pats, I thought. They're coming on 10 days rest?
1:13:08 Speaker 01 They scored and then they were dumb. Even against Cleveland, they had two kick returns, punt return, then they were done. They just, they can't, maybe second half is the way to play this.
1:13:19 Bill Simmons? Fields is like, cause you watch him, you're like, oh, man, if he was only accurate, he'd be really good. Yeah, I was thinking, it's like, if it was a stand-up comedian who had everything except none of the jokes were funny.
1:13:30 Speaker 01 Right, right, right.
1:13:31 Bill Simmons? Like, ah, if your jokes are funny, you'd be fucking awesome, man. Everything else is so good.
1:13:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, right?
1:13:36 Bill Simmons? And just each punchline sucks.
1:13:38 Speaker 01 You twist balloon animals like no one's business.
1:13:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah, like, you look so good up there. The way you handle the stage, like, I like your outfit.
1:13:48 Bill Simmons? Seahawks Titans is in Tennessee.
1:13:53 Bill Simmons? And I really wanted to give this the 10 and a half, but I went nine and a half for the Seahawks. Seahawks nine and a half.
1:14:01 Speaker 01 I did give it 10 and a half, and that was way light. It's 12 and a half.
1:14:06 Bill Simmons? Oh, my lord.
1:14:07 Speaker 01 All right, let me just do something for fun here.
1:14:09 Bill Simmons? Count, count the wins?
1:14:11 Speaker 01 No, I lost already, but if you do.
1:14:15 Bill Simmons? You're doing a 13-pointer?
1:14:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, cause uh.
1:14:19 Bill Simmons? 14, 13-pointer?
1:14:21 Speaker 01 Oh, man.
1:14:22 Bill Simmons? Seahawks Ravens?
1:14:25 Speaker 01 I think you have to do the 13, the 13-pointer, cause it's minus 265 if you just take the three favorites there. That's no good. That's not gonna get it. Maybe add the Packers, I don't know.
1:14:35 Bill Simmons? Sunday night is a decent game in there, so.
1:14:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:14:39 Bill Simmons? Oh, Mike, we finally got a decent game. Rams.
1:14:42 Speaker 01 Screw this up, Baker.
1:14:44 Bill Simmons? Rams home for the Bucks.
1:14:48 Bill Simmons? I have Rams minus six and a half against the Bucks.
1:14:53 Speaker 01 That's exactly fricking right. It went up. It was six and it went to six and a half. I had four and a half. You get that? Poor Baker. It does seem like a tough game every time. Doesn't he play in a terrible division? When does he ever play his own shitty division?
1:15:10 Bill Simmons? This is first place schedule, right?
1:15:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, I guess so. It's just hitting them hard at once here.
1:15:15 Bill Simmons? So we have who the Panthers play? Oh, they're on Monday night. That's the next game.
1:15:22 Speaker 01 I mean, Tampa's minus 600. They're just gonna keep losing and it doesn't really matter.
1:15:27 Bill Simmons? Well, how about this?
1:15:28 Speaker 01 To win the division.
1:15:29 Bill Simmons? If the Rams beat the Bucks on Sunday, the Panthers could be playing for first place in San Francisco on Monday night. A team that you can throw the ball in.
1:15:39 Speaker 01 That's insane. I mean, they, I was looking at, what are they? To make the playoffs, they're plus 360.
1:15:48 Speaker 01 The Panthers.
1:15:49 Bill Simmons? What are they for the division?
1:15:51 Speaker 01 Division, they're plus 500.
1:15:54 Bill Simmons? So bet the division. They're not gonna make the playoffs, not the division.
1:15:56 Speaker 01 Maybe I got that, maybe I got that backwards, but their games are.
1:15:59 Bill Simmons? Sometimes they screw that up.
1:16:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, they, but wait, hold on. What are their, I saw their games. Now I'm holding this up.
1:16:08 Speaker 01 Whatever. They're not making it.
1:16:10 Bill Simmons? You're out.
1:16:11 Speaker 01 There you go. You see?
1:16:12 Bill Simmons? That's it?
1:16:12 Speaker 01 See how I did that? No, wait a minute. Where is it? I had the whole thing listed. You do? Who is it? Oh, okay. They have the Bucks twice, the Rams and the Seahawks. And they're six and five. So they have to win four games. Bucks twice, Rams, Seahawks?
1:16:28 Bill Simmons? Well, what's interesting is they have the Bucks in week 16 at home and then the Bucks at Tampa in week 18.
1:16:35 Bill Simmons? So if they're within a game.
1:16:38 Speaker 01 Oh, so you're saying they could win a, take a wild card? That's interesting.
1:16:41 Bill Simmons? No, I, I don't think they have any chance to take the wild card. I think they can win the division though.
1:16:45 Speaker 01 Oh, well, then the Bucks will play hard that week, that 18.
1:16:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:16:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, can't do it.
1:16:52 Bill Simmons? Uh, I have the Niners favored by five and a half against Carolina.
1:16:56 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
1:16:56 Bill Simmons? On Monday night in San Francisco.
1:16:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, you get whatever. It's seven. I have five.
1:17:02 Bill Simmons? Don't do the whatever. Then that it makes it less fun for me to beat you. I don't like when you do whatevers.
1:17:07 Speaker 01 God, I needed to win three in a row. You won 11-6 and you're up 8-4 on the year. Can't have.
1:17:14 Bill Simmons? Listen, Patrick Mahomes may be a 500 quarterback, but I'm still good at guest lines.
1:17:19 Speaker 01 Good.
1:17:20 Bill Simmons? This episode is brought to you by NBA 2K27. We just had one of the craziest off seasons we've had in the NBA, which is perfect for 2K because every 2K season can be one of the craziest off seasons. The whole league shifted in real life. It could shift to an NBA 2K27. The best place to compete with these new look rosters and also try to figure out who's on what roster. You can see how new teams and new dynamic duos match up. You can play Philly, feel what it's like to have all of their new guys with the old guys. And you can also take a struggling franchise to the NBA finals if you want, because it'll never happen in real life for a couple of the struggling franchises.
1:18:03 Bill Simmons? You know how I'm talking about. Anyway, NBA 2K lets you experience every transaction and storyline right from your home. Pick up your copy of NBA 2K27 right now. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I already have my dream job. I run the ringer, argue with Chris Ryan, AKA CR. But even dream jobs have not so dreamy parts. You know, the work that slows you down never seems to go away. That's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They're like digital teammates who actually do the job, start to finish. No handoffs, no homework. That means more time for the work that actually matters, which for me is talking about whether the 86 Celtics can beat the 96 Bulls,
1:18:45 Bill Simmons? which they could. To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. Today's parent corner presented by Uber Eats. Let's be real, it wouldn't be game day without a spread of your favorite foods, pizza, burgers, burritos, you name it. Uber Eats is here to deliver it to you all season long. So we have.
1:19:04 Speaker 01 Hold on, grapes, uh, grapes, watermelon and a low-cal popcorn for me. Fitzal coming up. That's what I did on Uber Eats today. There you go.
1:19:15 Bill Simmons? Really?
1:19:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:19:16 Bill Simmons? And your power walk.
1:19:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, my neck is so much thinner now from last week.
1:19:21 Bill Simmons? We're doing a special parent corner this week. We're not going to talk about our parents. We're going to talk about our friend Cleto. So go ahead.
1:19:28 Speaker 01 Oh, all right. Well, uh, he Cleto Escobedo. Well, I've known him since I was six. He's uh, my cousin Jimmy's best friend. And he was the bandleader for 23 years. And um, he grew up, Jimmy grew up across the street from Cleto. And uh, he had a very cool, he was very cool growing up. First of all, he played the saxophone like no one's business. His voice was amazing. It's standing ovations in like high school and college and uh, any, anytime he went on tour. And uh, he was like a womanizer at like 10 years old and just a true rock star. And Jimmy and I would listen to him like, I, I, I spoke at the memorial and I was like, it was like a, an alien going through his um, fitness regime.
1:20:11 Speaker 01 Like, we had no idea what he was talking about. Tongue kissing girls and everything. And then he's like, he actually is a rock star. He like toured with Paul Abdul and like, Paul Abdul's greatest song, Forever Your Girl. The best part of her greatest song, like, girl, you know I love you and I always will. I'd sorry, Cleto, I didn't do, that was Cleto, not on the record.
1:20:32 Bill Simmons? Sang it.
1:20:32 Speaker 01 But when they were on tour, they would do it. And he toured with Paul Abdul and Marc Anthony before Jimmy brought him on. And uh,
1:20:39 Bill Simmons? Wait, go backwards.
1:20:40 Speaker 01 I don't, yeah, I don't know how much.
1:20:41 Bill Simmons? When Jimmy was friends with them.
1:20:42 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:20:43 Bill Simmons? Initially, Cleto was a little bit older.
1:20:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:20:46 Bill Simmons? And you said in your, you said in your uh, your tribute, he was like your Mexican Fonzie. He was like just way cool. You guys were just learning every single thing about
1:20:56 Speaker 01 Everything.
1:20:56 Bill Simmons? Life from him.
1:20:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:20:57 Bill Simmons? So three years when you're kids is like 20 years.
1:21:01 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:21:02 Bill Simmons? Like somebody's like so far ahead in so many different ways. And he kind of adopted everybody.
1:21:06 Speaker 01 Was following him. He was a catcher in Little League. Jimmy was a catcher. He played, Jimmy couldn't play the sax, so he played the clarinet. But he wanted to be in the band, you know? So yeah, there was that. He was super cool. I said he had like this Betamax because his father, who also a great sax player, gave up his career so he could help raise Cleto with his mom in Las Vegas and became a uh, A butler in Caesar's Palace and became Sammy Davis Jr.'s personal butler because Sammy had known his band and Sammy became friends with the family, gave him this Betamax and we'd watch old fights on it. Like you talk about Larry Holmes and all of them, but even like Muhammad Ali was his favorite. And it was just, everything was cool about him. It was just like, just a rock star for, for, for his whole life. And, uh, I mean, I don't
1:21:50 Speaker 01 know, I could tell a million stories, but like I spoke in front of like 600 people.
1:21:55 Bill Simmons? That happened yesterday. Yeah, we had, there's a mass and then there was a whole memorial service that was about as high of a production as you're going to get from a memorial service.
1:22:03 Speaker 01 Incredible.
1:22:04 Bill Simmons? Jimmy's staff went overboard for three days, did this whole two hour tribute, had like this 15 minute highlight video of all these different things from the show with, with Cleto and then a bunch of speakers, um, all of whom are great. You did an awesome job. I was really proud of you.
1:22:20 Speaker 01 Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. Michael McDonald came out.
1:22:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Jimmy comes out at the end. It's like, we wanted to get a special musical guest and couldn't believe this person was going to come out and do this. I'm just sitting in my seat. Like I, I'm ready for literally any musician. And then Michael McDonald, one of my all time favorites, came out and, uh, and sang something for Cleto, but.
1:22:40 Speaker 01 He sang the song Peace. He was so great. And like my cousin Jonathan, who also spoke, he was great, said like, you know, we're telling all these stories about Cleto and women and his poor wife is there. And it's like, it was all before he met her and everything. But she has to go through this and here it's not bad enough. But she, uh, and we're talking about and Cleto, and then he took this girl to a place called the Soak and Poke. And it's like, and then it's like Michael McDonald coming. It was like the, my cousin Jonathan said, like, it was like the adult entered the room. He was like, okay, guys, I'm going to tell you about death and I'm going to tell you about that. And he spoke fondly about Cleto.
1:23:14 Bill Simmons? He had an unbelievable speech. It was like just off the cuff.
1:23:17 Speaker 01 Crazy.
1:23:17 Bill Simmons? Had this unbelievable speech about life. And then he sang a song called Peace.
1:23:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:23:21 Bill Simmons? Um, it was like a two hour thing. Then everybody went to, uh, To next story to Jimmy's where Jimmy films the show in the backstage and it was like 700 people there and a bunch of our friends catered a bunch of the food like Chris Bianco. And it was basically almost everybody who worked for the show in the last 23 years.
1:23:40 Speaker 01 It was really weird, like seeing people like KP, our friends, like just that grew up in the green room and like here they are. And it was just like a terrible occasion to gather for, but it was really like your life like flashed before your eyes like that. Wow, that was like 25 years ago.
1:23:56 Bill Simmons? And everybody was, I know when people die, it's obviously always like, I can't believe this happened, but Cleto was 59 and you know.
1:24:08 Bill Simmons? What else do we have to say?
1:24:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, I just.
1:24:10 Bill Simmons? I'm getting choked up, so I'm gonna let you keep talking.
1:24:13 Speaker 01 I like this. I've never seen you vulnerable like this. I mean, you know, he died on my Uncle Frank's birthday and my Uncle Frank died on his birthday. Like my Uncle Frank died first, obviously. And so, and that's just amazing. And just, you know, it's one of 100 coincidences. And another coincidence is the Cowboys, our favorite team, I would go with him to Oxnard, you know, like, you know, that's not bad enough that we had to watch them on TV, an hour and 40 minutes away in Oxnard. They set up training camp during the summer and we'd watch them from behind a fence and we'd walk away like, yeah, they're gonna be good this year. And they were all always bad.
1:24:48 Bill Simmons? It was terrible.
1:24:48 Speaker 01 Always shaking our heads on Mondays. And but anyway, the Cowboys are in Vegas tomorrow, where he grew up laying three and a half points. And I urged everyone in the crowd to bet $10,000 on the Cowboys because Cleto would want it. Like I said, I don't care your financial situation, just if you love Cleto, you'll, I don't think they'll take us up on it. But.
1:25:09 Bill Simmons? Well, his two teams were the Dodgers and the Cowboys.
1:25:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:12 Bill Simmons? So he had, you know, he really, it looked like he wasn't going to make it a few weeks ago and then kind of rallied back a little bit and rallied back and was watching all those Dodger games and they had that amazing run. They win the World Series, but.
1:25:28 Bill Simmons? You know, the, the, some of the stuff about talking about family and how close that family was, um, his dad was, you know, has been in the band the entire time and did it hasn't missed, was there in the show at the day after he died, is going to be in the, yeah, in the show on Monday.
1:25:44 Speaker 01 Right.
1:25:45 Bill Simmons? It's, you know.
1:25:46 Speaker 01 It's, I can't even look at him. It's just so sad. He is the nicest guy in the world, right? And, uh, forget, forgetting even about the backstory of what he gave up to, you know, and then Jimmy brings them together for 23 years. They're playing side by side. But I, I have to say, it freaks me out. Just time going by. We saw the montage. I think you and I talked about it. Like, he was a little older than us when the show started. And now he's this little old man, right? In his eighties.
1:26:13 Bill Simmons? Cleto, right. Cleto senior, yeah.
1:26:15 Speaker 01 Senior. Yeah, yeah. So, uh, I mean, I can't say enough about those people. It's very sad, obviously, of the kids and the wife, and then the extra layer of the parents who were, I mean, this family would, they'd call each other when they weren't working together, like every 20 minutes to see, like, none of them thought the other was a pain in the ass about it. That was just how they operated, you know? So, um.
1:26:37 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it was weird talking to different people about it yesterday because, you know, we, when we all started with the show, I don't know, I was, I was 32. How old were you? You were like, you're a year younger than me, 30 or 31?
1:26:49 Speaker 01 Yep.
1:26:50 Bill Simmons? We had a lot of people who were in their twenties. We had people in their early twenties. Like Dana's wife was 22.
1:26:56 Speaker 01 Right.
1:26:56 Bill Simmons? You know, and you see all those pictures and it, and in some ways it was a million years ago and then in other ways it wasn't.
1:27:02 Speaker 01 Right.
1:27:02 Bill Simmons? You know, so, um.
1:27:07 Bill Simmons? But I want to say something about his dad, but I'm not going to get through it. So I'm going to move on. Let's, let's wrap them. Want to wrap up parent corner?
1:27:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, whatever you want to do, man.
1:27:15 Bill Simmons? Try to think of some sort of terrible band story that I could tell to, to loosen it up.
1:27:20 Speaker 01 I don't have anything. My kids were very upset. They don't have, I think that was their first funeral and, uh, they don't like it. They're not fans. So.
1:27:28 Bill Simmons? Turns out funerals are fun. We should mention his daughter went up. How old's his daughter? 14, 13?
1:27:34 Speaker 01 She's like 16 now, Jesse.
1:27:36 Bill Simmons? 16? Yeah, yeah. Um, she went up and was, and gave a really great. I just don't know how she did it. There was like a thousand people there. I would have been completely terrified, but talked about, you know, um, I don't know, really talked eloquently about her dad.
1:27:51 Speaker 01 Like you are with Joey with the sports. Like she was like, yeah, you know, she's like, she's, yeah, she's a singer and she's got the bug and uh, they, they had that in common and uh,
1:28:01 Speaker 01 yeah, you're right. Let's end this.
1:28:05 Bill Simmons? Uber Eats is like, what happened?
1:28:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:28:08 Bill Simmons? Today's parent corner is presented by Uber Eats. Get almost anything for game day, like your favorite game day foods, drinks and snacks on Uber Eats. The official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. So I think um, the band's going to keep going. Cletus senior is going to still be in the band.
1:28:25 Speaker 01 Amazing. Yep.
1:28:26 Bill Simmons? And the show is going to be on Monday. I don't know. And then you had, you had to prepare. We had, you had to prepare to speak in front of 1,500 people yesterday. You had to host the show that we have this gambling show in the morning. Watch football and then do this. I don't know how you did it.
1:28:42 Speaker 01 It's all right. I'm going to go to bed for three and a half days after this. That's how I did it. Yeah.
1:28:47 Bill Simmons? Well, that, so the irony of all of this is Cletus, Vegas guy, Cowboys favorite team. And then tomorrow, the Cowboys are at Vegas.
1:28:54 Speaker 01 That's it.
1:28:55 Bill Simmons? There's been a lot of weird signs in the last couple of days, including uh, Jimmy said there was a rainbow and where he lives this morning and a whole, whole bunch of weird stuff.
1:29:04 Speaker 01 His birthday is, was uh, eight 23. So I am betting, I'm, I'm going to hit all the, all the weird uh, coincidence of not. Eight 23 adds to 31. Cowboys 31, exact points is 11 to one. So at least do that if you're not going to bet the 10,000 on them.
1:29:20 Bill Simmons? I feel like the Cowboys will win tomorrow.
1:29:21 Speaker 01 I do like it.
1:29:23 Bill Simmons? All right. Let's wrap it up. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well. Uh, thanks to you, Sal. Good to see you. Good job by you as always.
1:29:31 Speaker 01 Good job by you, buddy.
1:29:47 Bill Simmons? Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-797777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut, or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts, or call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY in New York. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy
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