Ep 629 - Like and Subscribe (feat. Danny McBride & Steve Gerben)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod READ Danny's New Book 'Thrilling Tales of Modern Men' !!!!!!! WATCH Tires Season 3 COMING SOON Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello. Sorry for the late drop - was a busy week. I hope you'll accept this hot ass cast as a token of our apology. We're LIVE in Chuck Town. Shout out Danny shout out Gerby. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wild, Wild West.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hey, we're live. Matt, where is Matt?

• 0:09Speaker 01

  He's in San, he loves San Jose. Didn't he film a special there?

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Oh, that's it. Gerbys McBride, how are you guys?

• 0:21Speaker 02

  Wonderful, fantastic.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  Great, yeah.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  We were just talking about Steve sending his photo ID into porn websites.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, we were, yes. So, you know, sort of saying that I would do that. Cause we are in South Carolina. And apparently you need to do that in order to access pornography. And I would, I was just telling everybody upon first meeting.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  See, that's, that's what's so crazy is like, I've lived here for 10 years. You can tell that I don't jack off to internet porn. I had no clue that you had to.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I found out, I found out in about eight hours.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  What have you guys done? You gotta bring in your own. You can't, you gotta have a closed network for that, you know?

• 1:04Speaker 00

  That's right, apparently.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  But it worked, it worked. It shut me down.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  You don't, you don't just travel with like a thumb drive full of the greatest hits?

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Greatest hits. That's what a guy calls it. FBI rages out. It's got tape on it, says the greatest hits. Be funny if a guy with CP tried to hide it with like the way kids did on like Napster and shit. It was like greatest football hits. Homework, that's my homework file. Big hits, Vince Carter dunk.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Anyway, what's going on, Gerby baby?

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Not much, not much. Yeah. Thanks so much for having us down here.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Oh, come on.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  This is incredible. I was telling Shane and you that this hotel is incredible. There's a kitchen, you can't see it off screen, but what a difference.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Pretty standard. Are you gonna use it?

• 1:54Speaker 00

  I've already used it. I grocery shopped this morning.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Yep. A lot of good grocery stores downtown Charleston.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of good markets.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  What'd you, what'd you get?

• 2:03Speaker 00

  Lactaid and, you know, strawberries.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Lactaid. What the fuck did you need a kitchen for?

• 2:08Speaker 00

  Well, cause, cause.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  No, no, no. So I opened one of this. I was like going through them, you know, a little like, oh, look at that. They got a NutriBullet in it. So then I said, you know, let's make a protein shake. Now, only complain about.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  I knew you'd complain.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Well, no, no, not complain, but perhaps suggestion. This guy at his local mart was like, you know, I said, do you have any protein powder? He's like, oh, yeah, right there. And it was espresso protein powder.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Oh, so you jacked up?

• 2:39Speaker 00

  No, no, I didn't even, I said, oh, do you have anything like, like protein powder without caffeine? He's like, yeah, that. And I was like, no, no, it's, and we just immediately dropped it. So I'll make like a milk and strawberry shake, perhaps find protein later.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  You will make a protein espresso shake, but you won't have anything to jack off to while you're here.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  That's gonna be the summation of your trip.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Well, what I would say is, no, I would definitely show the government my face.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  To masturbate.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  It does seem, that seems so strange that they.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Need to log you in. They'd need to know what you're up to.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  I know.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  I was.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  It's, it's a very Republican. That's the Republican.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Is, is it?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I travel a lot.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  South Carolina, Texas.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  See, a lot of the ladies are really upset with South Carolina because of the crazy abortion bans. But you know, this jack off thing doesn't really get talked about as much.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  No, it's our body, our choice.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  It is our body. But yeah, I think, didn't your, yeah, their boy just got, he died. Isn't he South Carolina, Lindsey Graham?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Lindsey Graham.

• 3:49Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  He might have been the guy putting his hands all over a Pornhub. Now that he's gone, we can.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Now you can.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  We're free.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  You can infiltrate. You just use your friends IDs. That's probably the best.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Probably the funniest thing you could possibly do.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Friends ID and jack off to wild shit. What's that?

• 4:08Speaker 00

  Matt's joke is that he uses his wife's ID.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  So what, is this something, you guys are on the road a lot? Is this something you encounter in a lot of states or is this like?

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like literally just, and then it's all, it's funny because you, you don't remember. And you like, when you go to log in, you're like, come on, I wonder how fucking conservative this state is. You go, fuck.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  No weed, no whacking off.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Now, is it just the major porn sites or is it like?

• 4:34Speaker 01

  I only know really one. And then when I moved to Texas, I had to learn another one.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  And the other one is disgusting.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  I know.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  And it keeps me off. I don't, I don't.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Cause there, well, so this is what I was telling you guys.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  What's the other one?

• 4:46Speaker 00

  Xvideos.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  The one, what I was saying is I do feel a little free now because I don't even go incognito. I just say, whatever the algorithm sees that I'm liking, give me more of it.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  You want, you want the suggestions?

• 5:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  And it keeps off, it keeps off what you're describing because Xvideos will be like, what about?

• 5:08Speaker 01

  A couple guys.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  And now when you get a suggestion for one and it works, you're like, oh, good. That fucking, that was right up my alley. Do you feel like, do you feel you need to thank the service?

• 5:18Speaker 01

  He's got it. He does, he does.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  They know me, great, thank you. That's a great rec.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  No, he does. He's like. I tip the stars.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  Oh, well, sure.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  What do you describe them as? It's like actresses or adult stars? You said the word.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  I don't know. I probably said porn stars, adult, adult. Whatever, whatever the nomenclature is. Hold on a second. I don't like the service.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Let me say.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Like, can I clear that up?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Let me say this real quick, but it just reminds me of a time, I remember my high school football coach came to my house or my friend's house.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, girl.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  We were watching, what?

• 5:53Speaker 00

  High school football coach, you know, like a child.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  I'm just saying when somebody, when somebody calls a porn star, like a entertainer.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  I just remember my football coach, my buddy was watching wrestling and was like, what do you think Stone Cold Steve Austin? He was like, he's an incredible entertainer. And I was like, dang, this guy's dumb as fuck.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  No, superstar. He said superstar. Cause that's what they called the wrestlers. They were like, he's one of the top superstars. And I was like, oh, we're gonna go five and five. This guy's a fucking idiot. Anyway, so you were clearing up the air on your, don't you, you subscribe to this site?

• 6:29Speaker 00

  Oh, I do some, no, it's all right. I got no shame about it. I do, but I think it can be missing.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  You should have, it meant shame.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Gene, I can't help what I like and I'm not gonna, you know, it's like, I, I'm not gonna pirate.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  You want, you want the entertainment.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  Even though, even though I do feel, you know.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Pay the people.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I'm just paying a guy, which also, you know, it's like, how much is he really?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  He's a guy who knows your proclivities though. He knows what you like. He's serving you up.

• 6:58Speaker 00

  I know, but what's he paying the, is he paying the actresses?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  I don't know if you're interested in this, but you should probably tell him the proclivity.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  Should I?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Well, it's glory hole, but hold on, let me clear this up.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  All right.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  There's a glory hole website?

• 7:19Speaker 00

  Oh, there.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Where's the coverage from? Is it on, is it on the side of the wall?

• 7:24Speaker 00

  Such a wonderful question. I'm so glad you asked because the coverage is the key now. You want my, what?

• 7:33Speaker 01

  You're crazy.

• 7:34Speaker 00

  Oh, well then I don't have to do.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  No, I'd like to hear it. But I do like the idea of the camera being a GoPro on the guy's head.

• 7:40Speaker 00

  No.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Just against the wall.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Like the autistic kid that loves trains where it's like that, you know, I'm talking about that British kid? Yeah, fisheye lens, GoPro on top of his head.

• 7:52Speaker 00

  This particular site, in the past, I think it's, I think it's past its glory days, if you will, but edit that out. Just, I'm kidding. It was just such a bad joke, but.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  There is like an auxiliary sex room.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  So, so, you know, if, if.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't know how the discussion is offered, but if that's, then they could go and they have sex in a different room. I find it, I don't know why my brain likes that. I think it's, and I.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  I get, I get the idea of it in person, that the actual, the physical element, the watching of it. How do you, I'm curious of how it translates to a video that you watch. So are you, is it like POV? Are you the guy walking into the room?

• 8:37Speaker 00

  No.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  So it's more of, it's like.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Someone being forced to be at the receiving end of the glory hole. Is that the?

• 8:43Speaker 00

  Sorry?

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Someone being forced to be at the receiving end of the glory hole? Is that like, is it, what, what happens in the videos?

• 8:51Speaker 00

  So there, you're effectively in a booth.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  And she is the center. Stage right and left are separate holes.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Then you're watching this go down, a blowjob, you know, either direction.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  And then somebody will, I don't know how, but they'll say, do you, I guess I do know how. They're like, you wanna go fuck or whatever? And then they will go into a separate room where it is more of a, what, should we edit this out?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  So it evolves. Got you. It's not just in the hole. It evolves in terms of story. That's just the, the launch point.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Okay, got it, got it.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Yes. And I think it dovetails into this other, well, and I've talked about, you know, that sort of like tease.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  I like that you found a website that specialized in the, and this is the, this is the, the movements that we highlight.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Well, I think though, that, that may be a little cart before the horse. I, it was, I saw it at one point and then I said, ooh.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  And you're like, I want more of these. Is there anybody who specializes in making this kind of content?

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  And then you have your favorite starlets.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  I have, I have, I have the greatest hits.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  The divas.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Not.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  You have the greatest hits divas.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, who, for that site, no.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  I thought you told me you guys have some favorite divas.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Well, I have some like favorite, you know.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  This is great. This is good promo for Tigers three.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Season three.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Anyway.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Brendan McBride talked about glory holes.

• 10:23Speaker 00

  Do you feel really bad that I'm talking to you about glory holes?

• 10:26Speaker 02

  You shouldn't. I really, I've been enlightened by this. I'm understanding new things. I like it.

• 10:31Speaker 00

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• 12:08Speaker 00

  So, yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  What else you got?

• 12:11Speaker 01

  I threw Steve on the ground the other day. We took a, took a jet down here. And I was sitting and he was getting up to go to the bathroom and he stood over me.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  And I was like, Steve, I swear to God, I'll, without getting up, I'll throw you on the ground. And he was like, I'd like to see you try. And then I threw him on the ground without getting up. It was very fun.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  That's like a, that's a rock star story. You're on a private jet and you threw a buddy on the ground.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then, yeah, and then he went out today and looked for some protein. He's got to bulk up.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  I can't be tossed around that easily.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Well, in all fairness, he was wearing sunglasses and expensive wristwatch. So I didn't want to, you know, damage any of.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  That's a good friend. That is, that's good to think about.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  Took it, took it easy on the kid and, you know, maybe, maybe we'll see next time. It was pretty humiliating because I, it was one of those ones where I don't know how I was suddenly on the ground.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Well, I think it was the drugs he took and the, uh, how fucked up he was. I'm giving you credit on that.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. I took half of lorazepam and then I asked for a vodka rocks and she gave me like a vodka with like an ice cube. And boy, was that wonderful.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  He's afraid to fly, so he gets.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  So you gotta get a little loose.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  You were fun. You usually aren't that fun.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz I'm.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  You were having a good time and you were not afraid at all. That was great.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  I'll tell you, that was, that was a, I mean, getting, cuz we sat on the tarmac for like 30 minutes.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, at least.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  And you just, and then a little recline and say, wow, whatever happens, happens.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  It's a pretty sweet way to travel.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. And every time you take one of those, you're just like, am I being a total asshole? This is like what somebody makes in an entire year. And I'm just doing this to drive to go 45 minutes somewhere and fucking get thrown in the ground. Yeah. It's the hardest thing to justify.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  It's polluting the environment. It's great. It's everything about it, right? It's like the glory holes. It's just, it's stimulating in every aspect.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  I would say if they don't leave to go to the auxiliary room, I don't find the glory hole as exhilarating.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  It's just gotta be the launch pad. Yep.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  Right.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Have you, maybe this is getting too deep. Have you?

• 14:31Speaker 00

  Can I jump ahead?

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Have you done this?

• 14:32Speaker 00

  What?

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Have you done a glory hole for real?

• 14:35Speaker 00

  That's what I was, what I was, absolutely not.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  No. And not, not there's anything wrong with it. If you, if glory holes, it's not something I would ever want to do.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  You would do that in a heartbeat.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  You are wrong. You are wrong. I will, would I lie about that?

• 14:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  You think I would, but.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  No, you wouldn't lie.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  But you're telling me there's a little carve out in this wall right here.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's not my.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Tonight though, when you get back, you go.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  A carve out in a wall?

• 15:03Speaker 02

  You were about to say it's not my thing after just telling us you like and subscribe to a servant. That is very much.

• 15:11Speaker 00

  It's definitely my thing to like watch, but I truly don't, do you have anything that you watch and you don't want to do?

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, obviously.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Pro wrestling.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Pro wrestling.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  I watch it. I'm even trying to do it.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Doing it.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  The war in Ukraine.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Love to watch those drone videos, but I'm not trying to be in there. Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  But I've never liked and subscribed like that.

• 15:41Speaker 00

  Well, you know.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  You don't want to hunt MILFs in a van?

• 15:47Speaker 00

  MILF hunter, that was a great one.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  That was a classic. That was, that was the first one, dude.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Did you like and subscribe to that?

• 15:53Speaker 00

  I did, it was.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Did you ever have a subscription?

• 15:56Speaker 00

  Of course I had subscriptions in the past.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Really?

• 15:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Which ones?

• 16:00Speaker 00

  Well, let's see.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Wait, did you and your dad share one?

• 16:04Speaker 00

  No, my, me and my dad did not share. Why would you?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Son, I got a Brazzers password.

• 16:09Speaker 00

  You know, that's not how my dad talks.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, I got us.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  We've got to be frugal. I know you're gonna be masturbating. We might as well share it.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Your mother and I are sharing a Brazzers.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Well, this is podcast.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Beautiful. In a hotel room in Charleston.

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  You're excited for the big premiere tonight?

• 16:38Speaker 00

  Absolutely. I mean, this season, I'm, you know, biased, but I think it's our best.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  John McGee Root did such an amazing job with it and, yeah, you are incredible. I've already said that to you and everybody else, so. I'm excited for everybody to see it. And, yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Beautiful.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Beautiful. That's better than me. I did Fallon yesterday and they were like, can you describe tires to the people who haven't seen it? And I was like.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Hard to.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  It's like, uh, workplace comedy with my friends. They're like, okay, let's see a clip. And I knew they were gonna ask that and I still couldn't.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  He's such a nice guy, but I gotta, the late night shows I feel like are the, they're the worst thing.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  I'll never do the.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  I hate doing them.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  I would rather come and talk and run my mouth for an hour than have to like, package something in like three minutes. That feels spontaneous, that's not spontaneous.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, the phone call before, like the day before where they're like, what do you want to talk about? This is.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  And then don't you start feeling really weird about your life? Like, I got nothing to talk about. There's not anything funny that's happened to me.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Nothing.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  That I can wrap up in 45 seconds.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  And then they come into your green room before and they're like, here's basically like a script. Like, here's the question. Do you want to see what your response was on the phone? And you're like, I can't memorize this cuz then I'm gonna, and then I kinda memorized it. So he was.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  And I was like, yeah, at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone and, uh, it was, uh, and then truckers would show up and use racial slurs. And they're like, all right, we're gonna cut that. They did cut that. That was pretty funny.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  There's also, it's fun when you do one of those, I've done it a few times, where you, they lob you the question and you know what you're supposed to say back, and then you just go in a totally different direction. You watch the look on their eyes. You're like, no, this isn't it. This isn't what we were supposed to do. I, I always would get really nervous doing those shows. Just like, I think the first time I did Conan, I couldn't even eat for like two days before. I was just so apprehensive about it. I also had never done press before. It was for Foot Fist Way. But then I had one of the worst things happen on one of the shows. And after that, I was like, oh, this is fine. I was on Kimmel. And I was like doing the, we were in the middle of doing the interview and then all of a sudden, something that I'd never seen happen before.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  The stage manager came on the speaker and said, hey, we have to cut, uh, Danny's mic is like not working. And then they had to like stop it in the whole, in front of the whole audience, come in there, redo the mic. And then you had to, they, they had to go back and reset the question and start over again. And it was like, well, that's about the worst that could happen. They literally tell you to stop in the middle of it.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  I try to bring Steve with me.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  It worked?

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Just constantly be like, I can tell him about jacking off. I'll be like, well, I will.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Jimmy Fallon would have probably loved that. You should have. Okay, guys.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  No, it's very uncomfortable. And there's, I don't, yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Some people are amazing at it, but.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  I'm so bad at it.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, me too. I don't feel like I'm good at it at all. I just like laugh.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  Then you watch the next person go on.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  And they're like, the lady followed me last night. She was excellent.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  She like walked out like, hey, everybody.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  You were excellent.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  Jimmy, it's so good to see. Also, the other thing is they don't tell the fucking crowd who's gonna be on.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Oh. So there's a thing like, oh, it's these guys?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  They go. Who the fuck is that guy? I could see it cuz they, the, the main guest I think that they all knew about was a guy named Role Model. He was a singer. And it's, so the crowd, they cut to the crowd before I went out there. I was in the green room and saw it and I was like, oh, fuck. It's all, it was just like girls in their twenties. I was like, this is gonna be.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  They knew who you were.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, they did.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  They do.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  They were intimidated.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  By my fidgeting, like, man, this guy's so confident.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  I, uh, I saw it. I didn't real, you know what I didn't realize? I didn't realize that you went to Elon College. I didn't realize you went there. You know, I went to school in Winston-Salem, which was not far from Elon. It was an art school, so whenever we wanted to have like more of a normal college experience, we would go to Elon and go party with some of my friends there. We'd go to a place called The Lighthouse.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  That's still there?

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know if it's still there. It was there and.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  I threw up on someone in the lighthouse one time by accident.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  I, I got hammered there and I felt that I had gone too far. So I was like trying to get back to the bathroom. Felt to come on, I put my hand in my mouth and fucking puked through my hand and sprayed on a guy and a big dude. And I'm just like, oh, God. And he looks at me and he's like, you puked on me. And I was like, I'm so sorry. And then he just said, give me five bucks. And I was like, all right. And I fucking gave him five bucks. He did beat my ass. I felt like it was a fair trade. You're like, all right, I fucking puked this dude and I guess five bucks makes it okay. It's fine. Yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  Perfect.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  He could have gone for 20. I would have probably paid him 20. Yeah. Five bucks is probably just enough to cover his next Bud Light. That's probably what it was.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, what would have been the limit on that?

• 21:32Speaker 02

  You know, if he would have asked for much more than five bucks, I probably wouldn't have been able to pay up. I didn't.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Elon was fun. Garbys, where'd you go? You went to Drexel, right?

• 21:47Speaker 00

  Well, I went to George Washington. Failed out then Delco then failed out then.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Both you guys failed out of school?

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Cool. Very sick.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  Not the brightest, not the, not the brightest group.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Look at you now.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, hang it on.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  Did you, just like a personal, so like, did you know that you wanted to do this kind of stuff from a young age? Or?

• 22:14Speaker 02

  I did know I wanted to like make movies. I didn't know if I was gonna be in them. That kind of just happened after school. But yeah, I always did want to make movies. I did with my buddies at home. I was like a little fucking Dawson's Creek running around making movies all the time.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  But, and then I went to film school, which I don't think I would have been able to cut, go, I would have failed out if I went to a regular school. I needed to go to like an art school. I was done with homework. I wanted to just do fun shit. So, yeah, I went to North County School of the Arts, went to film school there. And that's where I met all the guys that I like still work with now. Yeah, so I was, I was lucky. I mean, now my son's getting ready to go into high school. I feel sorry for people who don't know what they want to do because like, what an incredible waste of time to have to like go to college and figure it out.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  I know. That was, yeah, that, that was my experience, really. What am I doing?

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Ka-ching, ka-ching, all the money's going out the fucking door.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Didn't you, uh, did you write tires at Draxel?

• 23:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yep. So, uh, that was like my senior project. It's surreal that it was like 20, going about 20 years ago.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  That's awesome. I didn't know that. That's great.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  So you just had that in your back pocket, just waiting for Shane to blow up. So you get that thing made.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  It's great.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  Cause then, then we had made it, uh, go on about 10 years ago.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  That we just filmed that short and it just sat and wow, it's surreal. Yeah. It's utterly surreal.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  So you guys were, both of you all trying to make stuff when you guys were, were young men?

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I was making like, yeah, we were filming sketches.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  I remember that.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  What were yours?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  The worst one that if anybody finds, I was in like eighth grade.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  Glory holes.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  It was, uh, it was right after nine 11. And I used to do a George Bush impression, just, it was copying Will Ferrell.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  From SNL. And I remember it, it's like the craziest fucking video on earth. Maybe edit this out, but I was, I was holding up the fucking USA Today that had the towers on it. And I was like, oh, I'm burning. Oh, my son.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  And how old were you then?

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I was in eighth grade.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, come on. That's how, you gotta make jokes about that stuff where you're at.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  And then I was doing like a George Bush impression, talking about it, like, we're gonna hunt down the terrorists. And then, yeah, if somebody finds that tape.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  I think that's advanced, dude.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  It's a devastating tape.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  I think that's good. Eighth grade?

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Eighth grade, mocking nine 11.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Literally like the week after.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  That's, that's what you do when you're a kid, you know?

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Then Jackass hit us. Then Jackass came out. So then that's, we shifted from comedy to just.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  You started stapling your nuts to things.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, guys, literally just, we were all, we were all also pussies, so we wouldn't do anything. Like, it'd be like jumping off like an eight foot shed. Like, you'd like land on your feet, like no one got hurt.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  I'm Shane Gillis and I'm jumping off this stair.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  This tiny shed. Yeah. Oh, that was gnarly. Yeah, Jackass was big for us.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I love Jackass. I, I, like, I, I really do think it's like one of the greatest shows that has ever been made.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  When I went to, I was in Spain for a while and that like, people love Jackass. Like that was the one comedy that translated to Spanish. Like I remember seeing people with like Jackass t-shirts on the subway and I was like very proud.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Oh, it's so funny.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  It's like, America fucking rules, dude.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  That Jackass?

• 25:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  The whole world gets to see that.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Those movies are the fucking funniest too. Like I always loved them. I, I remember that one, it wasn't the last one, it was the one before that came out. It was, you think about the glory holes?

• 25:43Speaker 00

  No, I just, I thought of the, one of the first sketches, I'll tell you the second.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. That, that one that came out during COVID, I think my, my, my son was like, maybe he was like, what is he now? He's, he's 14 now, so COVID, he would have been like, yeah, he would have been like eight years old. Uh, I was like, we gotta get back to normal now. Like now the movies are like starting to open up, like let's go fucking see Jackass together. So I took him at eight years old to go see Jackass as a way to get out of COVID. And I was like, damn, there's more dicks in this one than there are. Lot of dicks.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  Lot of dicks.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  And I just keep sitting there like, this is great, right? You love this? So funny, right?

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Dude, you, I, uh, just went to see the new Jackass and I forgot that I cry at the end of every Jackass. It's the most embarrassing.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  Really?

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's always like an emotional montage at the end of every Jackass.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  And they all, they all look like they're having so much fun that I, I understand that, that they're just like, I like this group, I like these guys.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Knoxville cries at the end of it. They're like, is this the last one? And he's like, I think.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I could see that.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  When, when Ryan Dunn died and they do that whole thing about him, it's like, yeah, I went with a girl to see it and I cried at the end of Jackass like two weeks ago. It's emotional.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I gotta stop crying.

• 26:58Speaker 00

  I still, I, I tell the story, I know we've talked about on the podcast, but you watching 50 50 on a first date and getting hit, there's this scene where it, it got us both, we didn't even know each other, but Joseph Gordon-Levitt, incredible performance and he's on a first date.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  I took a girl on a date to see that and thinking it was gonna be like more of a comedy. And, uh, at the, like I had my arm around her and this is very early, like for real first date and I was trying to hold in crying like as hard as I could. Like that. And then like my body was like.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  And then he's like, he says like goodbye to his mom before he gets surgery.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, it's, it's more than that, cause he's asking the anesthesiologist questions about what's gonna happen during the surgery and he's trying to ask questions and then he just goes, mom, and he just wants to hold her hand. And.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Look, you're about to start crying now, even talking about it.

• 27:53Speaker 00

  Well, that's from laughing, that's from laughing. Yeah, no, that's laugh cry.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  You cry talking about it?

• 27:58Speaker 00

  No, I don't. I cried talking about that dumb reel that you made me feel stupid about.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Bruh.

• 28:03Speaker 00

  I'm an idiot.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  This is, this is how he's like an actual, like you, Steve's like, is very good at talking and like he seemed, like he dresses like he's a smart person. And then.

• 28:14Speaker 00

  Thank you for saying I could've talked.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you are. That, you trick everyone into, I'm like, I met you, I was like, god damn, this guy's smart as fuck. And then he sent me a video of crying, showing me a video of a bunch of guys on horses riding next to a school bus that's on its way to a football game. It's like their dads had flags, American flags.

• 28:34Speaker 00

  The music, alright, whatever it is.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  I like it. You're a human being, that's good. You should, yeah, let things move you.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  And then he shows, he's like, check this out, you're gonna love this. It's also, how do you not know me well enough?

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Cause they were, it was dads riding, I still don't believe.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Dads riding horses next to their kids, football team's bus.

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  He's so fucking, look at me.

• 28:57Speaker 02

  It was the effort they put in. They put in some effort.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  They did.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I do think my dad would, I'd be, if I looked out of my high school football team's bus and saw my dad riding a horse, like, go get him, son. I'd be like, dude, my.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Who, which of those dads had that idea? Like, alright, let's get the horses.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  It's so.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  We're gonna follow the bus.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  They got big American flags.

• 29:23Speaker 02

  They should have, they should have had guns. They should have fucking six guns saluted their ass. Yep.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was very embarrassing. I bet that team lost by 50, dude. To a bunch of kids without dads.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  They got the score run up, dude.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  Their dads were, their dads were all on motorcycles. They fucking 12, going 12 o'clock, burning home.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Steve was like, check this out, it's amazing. I was like, dude, you are a fucking, you have a 12 IQ, dude.

• 29:52Speaker 00

  It's really humiliating when you're sharing something with somebody that you think they're gonna like and then they, they call you gay and dumb.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  I get, I do, I get tripped up over weird stuff. Like there's a, Publix is the grocery store here. They always have these like fucking 45 second just stingers that just like go to the grocery store and they're like, why are they trying to make me cry? I'm, I go there to buy chicken and subs. Like, you don't need to be pulling at the heartstrings. They got this one that's like flawless. Every, I've seen it a million times. Every time it comes on, it always like, I gotta like, kinda like pretend like I'm on my phone or drinking a drink or something. Oh, the La Croix, speaking of my eyes water. It's like, it's so simple. It starts where it's like a little girl and she's with her mom and her stepdad, I think his name is Steve. And he's like at the birthday and he like gives her a present, he's like, thanks Steve, you know? And he's like, oh, and then like she's a little older and he like gives her something else, thanks Steve.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  And it's like goes all the way till she gets older. And then finally on the day of her wedding, she's like in the room and he comes, he's like, you look beautiful. And she goes, thanks dad. And then, and we're like, oh, I'm about to start crying now. Like, fuck, it worked, man, it worked. But then it's like Publix, like this is where you go to buy pub subs and fried chicken. Why don't you just take me on that journey?

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's, there's, yeah, there's some commercials out there, yeah. There's a fucking, my dad would get choked up at the Budweiser horses.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  Clydesdales?

• 31:15Speaker 01

  There's like a baby Clydesdale and he's like, hey, fucking little guy, he's trying so hard.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  That was a big Super Bowl ad, wasn't it?

• 31:24Speaker 01

  It's like last year.

• 31:26Speaker 00

  That little guy is trying.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's funny how many times I've seen my dad drunk crying in a recliner from something emotional. We were watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I look over and he is sobbing.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  On the, that's not a pillow scene, right? That's what he was like, that's a, yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  Well, they, something similar to that that would always get me was getting gifted adoption papers.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought, I thought that's where that Publix was going.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Where it's, you're mine now. I own you. Yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Here you go.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Moneyball gets me.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Moneyball makes me cry. I've showed that to people that it had zero effect on.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  And that gets you?

• 32:09Speaker 01

  And then it made me very embarrassed. It was like a Silver Linings playbook. I cry every time.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Who, who was unaffected by Moneyball?

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Dumb girls.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  Oh, oh.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  That don't understand baseball.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  They want to see the Savannah bananas. They don't want to see this.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  You probably love the Savannah bananas. That's what I was wrong. I was surprised how wrong I was. You seem like a banana man.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  You seem like a banana man.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  They're like the Harlem Globetrotters of baseball, right? That's their deal.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  They do flips and shit.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  The flips are actually sick, but then they ruin it by being hot guys and doing like, they do like Hawkeye dances and singing and it's like, yeah, what are we doing here, fellas? It's a kid's show.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Hot guys dancing, that's what you want.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  You'll see the Hawkeye's dance. You'll go, this is weird. They take their shirts off. They have like eye black and like a mullet and they're trying to look so fucking cool.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  And does it play when you're up in the stands watching that from afar? Does it like work?

• 33:04Speaker 01

  It probably would be horrible looking because they're doing a TikTok. They're facing a camera like in front of the pitchers, man.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  From the upper deck, that must be like, damn, these guys, these guys suck. Then they do a flip and catch the ball and you're like,

• 33:15Speaker 02

  all right, well, that shit rocks.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  The bananas.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, the bananas are going crazy. And I swear they have a rule that's actually sick, which is like a foul ball is live. So the fans have to like throw it back.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Oh, that is great. That is great. They should just, they should include that in.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  In real baseball.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Real baseball. Yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  We talked about it and then, uh, teams would just pay guys with cannon arms to just sit in the fucking, it'd be an arms race.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Or just hold on to it and let them get all around the bases. Like, there you go.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd have to fight that guy. That would be awesome.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's how, that's the next level. Yeah, it's crowd participation.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's a good sport, actually.

• 33:53Speaker 00

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Many things in life don't go according to plan.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:58Speaker 00

  But that's kind of the beauty of it, right?

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  And as you adapt, BetterHelp can help you figure it out. Excuse me. If you feel comfortable, oh, sorry.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  If you feel comfortable, oh, sorry. Talk about a life change or pivot where therapy could have been.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  That's gonna need some butter, though.

• 34:19Speaker 00

  Or was beneficial. How could therapy lead to growth? Or even with a busy schedule, I think it's easy to fit therapy into your routine with BetterHelp because,

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  let's combine them. Um, a comfortable pivot, life change, I would say therapy could be good to fit in your schedule, even if you're busy, because guess what? When you make time for yourself, you make time for yourself.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  And it helps everybody.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  It helps everybody around you.

• 34:44Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Like ever, ever since Nate started going to therapy, I've noticed a change.

• 34:49Speaker 00

  Me too.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  And he's, he's, I've felt better being around him.

• 34:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah, he was doing all kinds of weird stuff.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Rotten.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, really mean. Whatever you're going through, Nate, you can meet with a range of professionals specializing in different areas. You don't have to navigate life's challenge, changes alone.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  You don't have to navigate those changes alone.

• 35:08Speaker 01

  No, like when you like, you know, you're challenging, like something you believed about yourself your whole life, but you knew it was false.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  Thought I was you too.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Nate thought he was, he knew girls.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  But if you talk to people.

• 35:25Speaker 00

  I, actually getting, getting married will actually, that'll, that'll help you. That actually helps. If you don't like girls, but you get married, you'll start, trust me, you'll be fine. That's how, that's how you do that.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  You'll be fine.

• 35:34Speaker 00

  Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com. That's better H E L P dot com slash M S S B.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, what else is going on, Stephen? How's your golf?

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, not, not to.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  How's golfing?

• 35:46Speaker 00

  Oh, golf is good. Not to like me monster, but the, uh, cause I, when we were talking about early sketches, um, one of the ones that I did with my cousins, my cousin.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  And it was the thing that just kind of made me laugh was thinking about my mom and my aunt's reaction to it. Cause it's so, it's so juvenile. It was like, you know, we just learned about, you know, I guess come and what have you. So like, we just played this, you know, we're like,

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Wait, what happened?

• 36:12Speaker 00

  Well, we just learned about, you know.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  How old were you?

• 36:14Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  You made it come? You made it come, did you? With your cousins?

• 36:19Speaker 00

  No, I think we've talked about this. Yes.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  I don't think we've talked about this.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  Nobody was, nobody was, you, it's, it's just the art of filmmaking.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  What was the sketch?

• 36:29Speaker 00

  That.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  Walked in, I was like married, you know.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  To your cousin?

• 36:32Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then she, she was like spat out milk and water, you know, just like as, but my, I thought it was so funny at the time. And my mom, my aunt just horrified.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  They had to destroy that tape.

• 36:49Speaker 00

  Uh, I'm sure.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  It was also VHS, so that was like, you would just record over it for your next.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Those are the days.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  It could just be, a bad sketch could be erased just like that.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  We, we would make, starting like sixth grade, really sixth to eighth grade, we were rocking a lot of little, little short in camera edit movies. We made one called Do the White Thing. It's kind of right out, right after Do the Right Thing came out and it was just about a bunch of white people in a mansion and the AC went out and they were all trying to figure out how to like survive.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  How old were you when you made that?

• 37:22Speaker 02

  I was in, that was in sixth grade. We made that.

• 37:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  And then we followed it up with, uh, Stand By Me Two, which was about that the kids that had found Ray Brower, that they unlocked a curse. And then Ray Brower came to kill them all, the kid who died on the train. Yeah. And so it was a horror movie and, uh, and me and my friends each played the original cast members and Ray Brower came and killed each one.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  We made, I think we made one where it was, it was like the Blair Witch. It was like, uh, but there was a ghost and it was kind of a, we just made fun of a kid's mom that was also in it. We just, the ghost just imitated his mom's voice. And so like every scene, he'd be like, stop it. The ghost would come out and go, Andrew, I said fucking go. That's every scene. That was a classic.

• 38:14Speaker 00

  And you're saying in camera edits, that, that like, that's where you rewind back to where you want the edit.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, you would like do it and then like pause and then you'd turn around and like, but because it would like take a second or two to roll, you would have to like pause and then like hit record and then the person would have to wait like a second and a half. You have to time it down to then like say.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  That's awesome.

• 38:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys were doing more advanced shit. We were jumping off shit.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  They're pretty shitty.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Holding up nine 11 headlines.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  That's pretty good.

• 38:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, we did. My brother and I got into like.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  You guys were doing freak shit, dude.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  No, that was gross.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  You had your cousin spit out come.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, cause.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Spit out your come.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  Again.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  You gotta blink this out.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Last name too. Give the last name.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Wow, wow.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  She, no. So.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. Um, what was I saying?

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Well, cause your cousin was.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  There was a, there was a Richard.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  We were talking about this.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  She got into, she got into Richard Simmons back in the day and that was like, it was really cool.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  And that, that's what made her want to do the come scene? That was it?

• 39:24Speaker 00

  I think it was me going, this is gonna be so funny. But yeah, before that, it was way more tame. It was, my brother and I would make superhero videos. So it was like, and they all had the same structure, which is like, he would narrate, I'd come in as the superhero, you'd have a dance and then you'd fight a villain.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  We used to film wrestling. We would do D W F.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  And there's a video, I, I was, uh, Undertaker, the littlest kid was X-Pac. I joke slammed him and he rolled into a pole and this kid had the craziest temper. So then it becomes him like,

• 40:02Speaker 01

  you see everyone running. It was such a good video.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  He used to spaz. He was great.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  He attacked us constantly and he would attack whoever, like he'd be fighting somebody else and then everyone had to run. He whipped me in the back with a Hot Wheels track when he was fighting his brother. It fucking killed.

• 40:21Speaker 00

  Terrifying.

• 40:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was a wild kid. It's good stuff.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  You feel, that seems sad at the end. Did something happen to him?

• 40:31Speaker 01

  No, he's doing well. I can't believe it. Cause he was like a real.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  He got that temper under control.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  He was the littlest brother and he was tiny, but he was nuts. And he would just, again, he would just attack everyone. You'd hear him coming. Somebody would fight him like downstairs. You'd hear him come running up the stairs, just trying to fight him. It was so scary, dude.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. What's going on with you?

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yo. Hanging out this hotel.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  I'll never, dude, audiobooks, I cannot do that. That was brutal.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  That's pretty hard, wasn't it?

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  You, you did great, though. I remember after your recording session, you, you were like, yeah, you seemed worried, but you were awesome.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  All right, good.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  But it was, I wouldn't have asked people to do it, I think, if I knew how difficult it was. I didn't think it would be difficult.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  I didn't think so at all.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  But then you start, you're getting there on like, on hour four, you're kind of like, I think I've forgotten how to read.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  I'm stumbling over every single word. It's weird because you're reading, but you're also performing at the same time. So you're having to really concentrate in the moment that you start drifting about like, well, it's for lunch. It's just like, fuck, I blew it.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Well, I went in, I went in a little hungover late. Like, I woke up late, so I didn't eat breakfast, I just drank.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  If you're not showing up for your audiobook recording a little late, then what kind of fucking baller are you, you know?

• 41:55Speaker 01

  But I got it, and the room's so quiet, and the microphone is literally, I could just hear my stomach the entire, the whole time. It was like, and they'd be like, all right, we gotta do that sentence again.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Won't you eat something and then let's get back in here and do it?

• 42:06Speaker 01

  And then they were like, so this is, we have you booked for six hours, so we can do it.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  At like hour three, they're like, do you want to, we can come back tomorrow? I was like, I can't come back.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  No, you gotta motor through.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  We're just getting this thing.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  That's how I felt. They kept asking, I wanted to take breaks, I'm like, absolutely not, I'm going.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  And it's so embarrassing when you can't read. And there's two people waiting for you to fucking read.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  They're like, you pronounce it the, it's the.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  I kept getting notes that I was like, like garbling the words. That's like, that's a choice. It's for the performance, I'm swallowing these words.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you have to enunciate every single word.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Like, you're combining every word, and yeah, it was tough. But we did it.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  We did it. I think the audiobook actually is pretty awesome.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Everybody in it is pretty good, and yeah, I really was grateful to all y'all for showing up to do it.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  I was grateful you asked.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Been a fan forever.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Very serious stuff.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Been a fan forever.

• 43:04Speaker 00

  That'd be surreal.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 43:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  I remember getting foot first way.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  You got, you got.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  I rented it at Blockbuster. I was at a real low point in my life.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna say that, so you're where that three bucks came from.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  You got paid on that.

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Mint Mobile.

• 43:25Matt McCusker?

  Mint took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for 15 bucks a month.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  No gimmicks, no gotchas, you can even bring your current phone and your number. Go to mintmobile.com/drenched.

• 43:42Matt McCusker?

  Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 per month equivalent, taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only, greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabytes of hotspot, capable devices required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Incredible. This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  What do you know about Quince?

• 44:06Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest, they sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters. Natural fibers, I'm a big fan.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Well, not everyone wants to spend forever on the perfect look. Quince gets that. It's why they make staple pieces for your wardrobe that go with pretty much anything, man. They're, they're really easy to style and they feel great to wear because they're also made with premium materials. Including, like you said, organic cotton, merino wool, there's even 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just $60. That's, I mean, talk about a deal.

• 44:42Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  That's a bargain.

• 44:44Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  What else is going on?

• 45:10Speaker 02

  What else you got?

• 45:11Speaker 01

  What do you got? You got anything?

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Oh, God, you know what? This summer has just been about pushing this book, getting the book out there in the world. I've had to do a lot of book signings, that's a new thing for me.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  How's that?

• 45:24Speaker 02

  It's very interesting. You show up at these events and they have all the, they have all the books lined up with the staff. They have them all open to a certain page and it'll be like, here's 1,500 of them, we gotta sign these things now. You start getting into a zone where you just start.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  And it's like, you sign it, I can move the book, next one, next one, start going super fast. And that's another thing where if you don't think about it, you can get into a zone, the moment you think about it, you just fuck your own name up. And you're, oh God, something happened.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, you ruined somebody's book.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But that stuff's been pretty fun. Honestly, this, the, the book has been awesome. It's been, whenever you do press for comedies, I feel like the press is always mean. Like there, there's always a sense of like, you come into the room to be interviewed and there's a little bit of just like, yeah, this motherfucker can't see something. You think you're funny. I really do feel like that. I've noticed when you do a different genre movie, like when I would do press for Alien or anything, the reporter, the interviewers are always more engaged. And I feel like whenever it was comedies, there was always, you could sense that they didn't really want to be there. Like, this is the stupidest thing. That's, that's what it would feel like.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  And the book was the same way. I feel like, I think because in order for people to interview you on that, they have to actually read the book. So I feel like they've just invested enough time to take the interview seriously. Where like, you know, you, we would do press for Vice Principals or whatever, and it would constantly be like, I watched the first episode and then they would start. It's like, oh, great, warm room.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  It picks up.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, give it some time.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Watch it.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  What else, dude?

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Come on, Gervs.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Oh, me?

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Do something.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  What you got, what are you gonna eat, what are you gonna eat after this? You gonna go get a big meal or you gonna cook something in your kitchen in your hotel room?

• 47:09Speaker 01

  What are you gonna wear to the premiere? I know you got a snazzy outfit.

• 47:12Speaker 00

  Okay, so the.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  You are a super.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Is this a dress up premiere? I was curious.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  I will not be dressed.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're, that's what you're wearing?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a, Soder hit me with one that stuck with me. He's like, dude, you always dress like you're the guy coming from the hotel pool. In the lobby. I'm like, yeah, fuck, that is exactly what I look like.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Be comfy.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  I tried to pack my suit, but it didn't fit. So, cause I guess I got, so I'm just gonna do, just like trousers.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Dress shorts.

• 47:41Speaker 00

  Just like, you know, like suit without the blazer. Yeah, no tie.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  I remember the very first premiere that, I think it was like for Heartbreak Kid, I invited my parents to come to it. They had never been to anything like that. I hadn't really been to anything like that. And my stepdad was like, called me up, was like, so this event, is this like pants or dress shorts?

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Man, I'd stick with the pants, probably.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Dude, Heartbreak Kid is like my favorite comedy scene. Me and Beezer watch it all the time. It's when he's escaping on the train.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  And they pull him up and then just beat his ass and throw him out of the train for no reason. Have you ever seen it? It's so good.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  I love the ending of that movie too, and that ending was like something that I think that on, looking back on, I think they were like, thinking that was part of the reason why maybe the movie didn't catch on fires, because it was like too dark. But I loved the ending of the movie. I thought it was awesome.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Movie rules.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  But yeah, I don't know, I, I, wearing a suit would have been crazy.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  No, I wore it last.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Wearing a suit in Charleston too, it's gonna be hot as fuck. It doesn't, when it gets, when the sun goes down, it's still, it gets hotter.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  This is a premiere for like.

• 48:52Speaker 00

  A thing I really care about.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  No one, yeah, but nobody does season three premieres, really.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  You should do, you should do full nude.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Us doing a fucking premiere.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  I could dress you like Kanye's wife. He'd saran wrap you.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  That's how you should go. I've been to a few of these things before, that's how you should do it.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  I'll wear a mask, I'll, I'll dress like Kanye, you dress like his wife.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  That'd be sick.

• 49:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. But, yeah, you're asking like golf, so I've been golfing.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  How's it going?

• 49:20Speaker 00

  It's incredible.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  So.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  You're a big golfer?

• 49:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, I love it. And just trying to worm my way into this, like, there's a lot of like YouTube golfers. And no, nobody's responding to my DMs.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Really?

• 49:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  You're DMing the YouTube guys?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  After this season, they will.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  So we'll see.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  How long have you been golfing for, for a while?

• 49:42Speaker 00

  About three years.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 49:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  He's already, you're really good at it.

• 49:46Speaker 00

  Thanks. I, I played for like, senior year of high school, there was a course really close to us called Valley Forge Golf Club, where you could pay for like, play for five bucks. And I got obsessed.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  You gotta hope someone pukes on you. I'm gonna get a fucking round of golf.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  You should, you should, there's a lot of great golf courses around here.

• 50:06Speaker 00

  I knew Brandon was telling me that.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, Brandon golfs all the time. I go, Brandon runs our company and I'll go out with him and see how good he is. I'm like, motherfucker, how many times are you getting out here?

• 50:17Speaker 00

  That is, that is, that is literally a thing that plays in the back of my head.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  No, it pisses me off how often he's golfing.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  I'm touring, I'm fucking dying. He's like, well, today was a good day. I went golfing.

• 50:30Speaker 00

  I feel, I feel inclined to lie about it.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  I, I, when I moved here, I was gonna get in, I was, you know, that's the deal here, golf is, and you know, my buddies here are into it. And I was like, well, man, maybe I'll make it my thing, maybe that'll be something. I just, I don't, I'm not good at it, but I also, it just takes so much time. I'm like, man, there's no way I have the energy to like, give everything I need to, to make this good. But you know what, my, my boy is, my son is getting into it, so that makes me want to get out there more. But I think I'm also just okay with going out and being fucking terrible, being at the butt of everyone's jokes with every swing. And then just getting hammered the whole entire time.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  The best. We have a golf outing coming up.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  That's right. The Nury.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  I don't golf, yeah, you're gonna have to keep your composure this time.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  You're gonna have to keep your composure this time.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  He's, I made him rage quit the Down Syndrome fundraising.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  You rage quit?

• 51:22Speaker 00

  I wouldn't say I raged quit, I said, please stop.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Wait, what was he doing to make, why did you want him to stop? What was he doing?

• 51:29Speaker 00

  He was ramming my golf cart. That's very dangerous. It's, it is dangerous, Danny.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  I was going so slow.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  And I, I love golf and we were doing well.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  It was on the 18th.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  No, it was 17th.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Okay. I left you alone all day. So when we do this, I can't golf. So I just, I get a Bluetooth speaker and I,

• 51:51Speaker 00

  Oh my God.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  And I drink and just drive around and bother people.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Yes, that's, that's what I would do. Yeah. But then. I didn't know that you could do that at these tournaments. You can?

• 51:58Speaker 01

  I put on a.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  You shouldn't.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  I put on Flight of the Valkyries and started chasing him.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  So fucking mad.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  Immediate, immediate.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  I thought it was gonna be a friendly tap. The first tap, like so light, just tapped the back of it. And he was like, Cut it out. And I was like, well, now I'm, I'm all over.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Now you're out.

• 52:17Speaker 00

  Checkmate, immediate checkmate. I have, I have lost.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  He was with O'Connor in the cart and he's like, I'm getting out. And he gets out and Chris is like, don't get out. So I'm just chasing him.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Now, cause Chris, Chris immediately, you know what it felt like? You know what it felt like? It felt like when you, you had a friend growing up that, that you were like cool with, and then all of a sudden they're around other guys and they're just different to you.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I've, I've seen that Shane. Is that what you were doing to him?

• 52:42Speaker 00

  No, that was what I felt like with Chris, even though I love Chris and you know, that's not Chris, but.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Would love that. He would love the golf cart tap.

• 52:50Speaker 00

  He did.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Everyone does. It's funny.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  Getting into it. And then I'm just like, I don't want any parts of this. It's gonna tear up the fairway. It's, it's ridiculous.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  You worried about rain jam golf course in Dillsburg?

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Yes. I got you greenskeepers. You know, you don't horse around like that. It, it takes a lot of work. So I just wanted to out. And then of course that only, you know, it's just feeds the beast.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  He was instantly, I've never seen someone get that angry that fast. I went, I was genuinely trying to be friendly.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  And I was genuinely saying, stop it.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  You said, stop it right away.

• 53:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, immediately.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Bitch, right away.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  How long did it take you guys to make up after that?

• 53:28Speaker 01

  We didn't. He, he stormed off. He's so mad. So it's a, literally a fundraiser for Down syndrome. There's an event and there's a bunch of people in the pavilion like.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  I did not know you were supposed to stick around.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  And they're excited. They're excited to see the people from tires.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  And Steve finishes the 18th hole, packs his bag, walks straight to the parking lot. My mom stopped him. It was like, aren't you gonna come say hi? And he was like, no.

• 53:53Speaker 00

  No, I said, no.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  I think I've done enough today.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Yes. And then he got in his car and drove to Philadelphia and didn't say goodbye to anybody.

• 54:00Speaker 00

  I said goodbye to you. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. That is.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  That's tech, that's a rage quit.

• 54:06Speaker 00

  That, that, hearing how you just.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  Technically, that is.

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Technically, that's a rage quit. Now, this is one thing though, that I did not know. Sean, you're making, you're making me feel so bad. Sean's got his shirt over his nose. So I did not know that that, that there's a whole hangout thing happening afterwards.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  We all told you several times.

• 54:27Speaker 00

  I don't, well, I don't recall Shane. So the point is, had I known that that was a thing, then, then it'd be a little bit different. I, I'm a little new to this whole, you know, world. Cause I got to, hold on.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  It wasn't that fancy. It was in a pavilion in Dillsburg, Pennsylvania.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  Well, whatever. Listen, I get how that looks like a rage quit. I accept rage quit. I accept the technicality of that.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  You were, you left because you were ashamed of how you reacted to the joke.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:56Speaker 00

  No.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I think you were a little ashamed of the situation.

• 54:58Speaker 00

  Absolutely not. I was frustrated with you.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  Why?

• 55:00Speaker 00

  Cause I said, please don't. Then you did it.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  I did it twice.

• 55:03Speaker 00

  No, you wouldn't stop?

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Well, of course. Flight of the Valkyries is playing. I was a case deep.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  But.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Everyone loved it. Everyone had a blast.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  I had this.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Phil was laughing. Billy was laughing. Chris was laughing. It was fun.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  That's good. I'm glad everybody had a great time. I'm excited for it again.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Told my mom the fuck off.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  You need to work on a revenge plan now.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  No.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Do it.

• 55:26Speaker 00

  I'll lose that fight.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  You need to find your own song. Yep. Supercharge your, your golf cart.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Pirates of the Caribbean.

• 55:33Speaker 00

  We, first of all, yes. But second of all, it would absolutely.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  What type of music he listens to? He listens to the Pirates theme song while he drives.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  To the ride or to the movie?

• 55:44Speaker 00

  What? Oh, to, to the movie.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  To the movie.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. The Hunza.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  And just kind of cruise through traffic.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Yep. And have just really childlike fantasies about saving people.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Getting this out, man.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  And he stops it, stops signs. I've been in that car. Eight second stop. Other people are like, go. And he's like, go ahead.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Fucking 10 miles an hour.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  But, oh dang, what was I gonna tell you? Oh yeah.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  I don't want to say it's so boring. I gotta say it now, but.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  We got nothing.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  So I, I got invited to, I probably shouldn't be talking about Glorial, the Eagles Autism Foundation. They do so much for autism. But, uh, hopefully an event this one gag, I, uh.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  We'll probably take out that Glorial stuff.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  Oh yeah?

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Maybe. We'll see. Are you all right with it?

• 56:40Speaker 00

  I have no shame about it. I don't.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Yeah. Should I?

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:45Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 56:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, it seems, seems a little odd.

• 56:48Speaker 00

  Really?

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  I don't know. It's.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  See, I'll defend it.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  It's just, it's pretty good. It's sort of, I feel like it's sort of run of the mill. It's, you know?

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Anyway, let's get back to the Eagles Autism Foundation.

• 57:03Speaker 00

  It was, so I won closest to pin. And my one friend that I golf with was like, did they give you cash? Cause you know, if they give you cash, you need to give that right back to the charity, right? And I was like, no, I didn't know that.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  No chance.

• 57:17Speaker 00

  But luckily it was just a gift card to the pro shop. So I bought a shirt.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Gift shop, uh, that feels like you could keep that, right? They're not thinking that you have to return that.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:28Speaker 00

  But I'm glad he said something. Cause again, that would have been another gaffe.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  I feel like autistic guys could, if they locked in on golf, they'd be fucking good.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  I think a lot of them are.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. Makes sense.

• 57:39Speaker 00

  You know what I've always found peculiar is the, uh.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  If Down syndrome guys locked into Savannah bananas, they'd be fucking great.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  They do Little League Savannah bananas. They do it flips in the outfield.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I could. Yeah, he's awesome. He's got it like Down syndrome that just drains threes.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  No matter where on the court, overhead, just drains it. It's wonderful. Those get me. Those make me cry. Back to the crying things. Kid with Down syndrome hitting a three, whole high school gym going crazy. It's the best.

• 58:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Especially cause the Down syndrome kid has zero fucking humility. Hit a three, you know?

• 58:21Speaker 01

  It's so sick, dude.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  What were you about to say?

• 58:26Speaker 00

  Oh, uh, I'm sure it's an observation that's been made before, but, uh, the Tiger Woods, how, you know, people say he's a black golfer, but it's really like, when you look at the amount of Asians on tour, it's staggeringly high. Like I feel like it's way more the Asian part of him.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  Oh, that's an interesting take.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. Let's delete it.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Nice talk with you guys today.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Very genuine race.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  How is that? Hold on.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Non joking, genuine racist comment.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  How is that racist? He is half black and half Asian, right?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:01Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  And you're saying it's clearly the Asian side of him that's successful.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Let's look at the tours. Let's look at the tours. We'll delete it then.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  You're fine. You're fine.

• 59:15Speaker 00

  You see the LPGA, I mean, a guy did get fired for that.

• 59:19Speaker 00

  This guy, commentator of the LPGA tour is like, it's a Immer Kimmerow. It's, they're all Koreans.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  He got fired for that?

• 59:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was back in the day. Yeah. But, uh, anyway.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  I love when those announcers get fired. It's like the best. The fucking Kansas City fag capital of the world.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  I said something earlier today.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  I didn't know, uh, my mic was on and, uh, probably never gonna put the headset on again.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  That feels like that would be the thing you would probably have to specialize in is knowing when the mic's on and when it's not off. That's your whole gig, right?

• 59:58Speaker 01

  It was just, it was B-roll before the game of the field. And you just hear the announcer talking. And for some reason he says, Kansas City, fag capital of the world. It got us the commercial. It was before the game. They told him in the fifth inning.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Oh, how fun, how fun would it have been to have been on that crew and just been like, knowing like, oh, he's gone.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  He's fucked.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  He's out of here.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  And then, uh, yeah, Castellanos famously hits a homerun mid apology. So he's going, he's like, to my family, I'm sorry I let you down. And, uh, my bosses who trusted me here. Sorry. Deep drive Castellanos. 3-2 Cincinnati Reds.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  But the other one that's incredible is, uh, those two dudes talking about the, uh,

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Negro League Hall of Fame. They're like, we went to the, they switched that word.

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  And the guy hits it.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  This is something that happened recently?

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. The guy drills it.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  It's the other guy's.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  What does his face look like when he, when he realizes it comes out?

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  Neither of them process it. The guy with him is like, we did, we went there.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause you know, that's what they were, that's what they were calling it the whole time that they went there. That's why. Yeah, they didn't think about it. They didn't code switch.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen that clip?

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  It's unbelievable.

• 1:01:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23Speaker 00

  I'll definitely watch it today.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  It's one of the biggest fuckups of all time. Just pointing directly at the camera and go, we had a great day. We went to the.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  It's fucking nuts.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Those boys got fired.

• 1:01:37Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  We've been doing this long enough, huh?

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  No, wait. Okay, no.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Well, thanks for coming in here. Sorry. We were, uh, this is how we do this.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  I really like how you did. I feel like we hit some, uh, hard hitting topics here.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  I feel like it was.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  We think about Israel.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Let's get into it. Come on. Recharge the batteries. Let's go.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:02:06Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

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