Bonus #200 - Alex Pavone [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Dear friend of the pod Alex Pavone returns to discuss expecting a child, lactating at a young age, his weird nipples, his dad's late-in-life tattoos, disciplining kids, culture moving slower in Canada, and much more. Alex and Stav help callers including a woman who wants her boyfriend to start gambling more again, and a guy whose roommate's girlfriend is trying to get them to watch a street cat she rescued for seven months. Follow Alex Pavone on social media: https://www.instagram.com/mralexpavone/ ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎤 Watch Stav's new special Uncle Stav on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld 🎟️ See Stavvy live!! 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

  How do you want to split it?

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Actually, dinner's on me.

• 0:02Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, big money.

• 0:03Speaker 01

  Well, I got a Venmo balance that I can spend with my Venmo debit MasterCard, so...

• 0:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I Venmo'd you three times last week, so it's kinda on me, actually.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, you send it, I spend it.

• 0:13Stavros Halkias?

  Did my money get reincarnated?

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's chicken shawarma. Want it back?

• 0:18Stavros Halkias?

  I can't believe you ate my Venmo.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Spend your balance instantly with the Venmo debit card. No monthly fee or minimum balance. Venmo balance account required to get a card and use a balance. A Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank, N A.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Hey, Stavi, uh, I've called before, but long time listener, driving to Seattle right now to see you at the Neptune Theater.

• 0:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Hi, Eldis, and it's deep guess, but I'm having a moral dilemma right now, and I'm gonna sound kind of like a bad person.

• 0:50Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-oh.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  My boyfriend used to be into sports betting, and at first it really worried me because gambling had torn apart my family before. I had relatives who were addicted to gambling.

• 1:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, Jesus, this is the most Freudian shit of all time. Someone whose family was torn apart by gambling ends up with a gambler? Keep going, Eldis.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Gambling had torn apart my family before. I had relatives who were addicted to gambling, and I saw how it affected the people around them, how it affected the people that I love. But then I realized that my boyfriend is the luckiest asshole in the world. If you put down $20, he could turn it into $200.

• 1:39Stavros Halkias?

  No, you dumb bitch.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  But if he did lose, he would lose like maybe $5.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  He was so good at it. And at first it bothered me, and now it doesn't anymore.

• 1:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  But...

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  Do you see how math works? Pavone, what are your lifetime numbers? What are your lifetime?

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Let her finish. We'll get there. But not good. Sounds like I could use a little bit of this guy's block. Jesus Christ.

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  Pavone's like, gonna ask for her number to get in touch with her fucking boyfriend? Alright, so what do you got tonight? What do you got on the Korean Hockey League? My fucking son won't stop fucking crying. I gotta make a couple dollars.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Now he doesn't sports bet as much, probably because basketball is over and also like football and stuff, but I kinda miss being able to go and eat out a bunch and go to the bars and shit. I have a job too, but I don't know anything about that. He's really getting...

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're thinking about getting into gambling? Jesus Christ, lady, you're... Look, you have the... Here's what's going on. Actually, let's let her finish.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  He's sports betting because I have a very addictive personality, but how do I hint to him that he could put some money on the UFC fights or ping pong or something, just so...

• 3:04Stavros Halkias?

  You're so fucking stupid, it's crazy. You're as dumb as Pavone and Eldis.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  I...

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  This woman, what's going on here is you, you have the ga...

• 3:14Speaker 03

  She's gotta call my wife.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're kinda...

• 3:16Speaker 03

  I...

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  I need her to speak to her.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  This is the support we need, actually, so...

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, look, dude, this is... You're so fucking dumb for thinking he could keep up a streak. Like, here's the thing, enjoy that year. He probably knows, like, holy fuck, I got... I was on a heater.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'll never... That, I will always think about that talk, because, I mean, you talk to gamblers and it's like, I'm sure you right now know the best week of your fucking gambling life.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  You could go on a heater for a year, lady. I don't know. What was her name? I don't know her name.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  You can. And then, you know what happens after that? You go, you're not on one for four years after that.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  It's going to balance out, and when you lose, you will start doubling down, and when you win, you're not gonna double down.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  You're betting the same, and then when you're losing, you're betting double.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're chasing.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Triple, you're chasing. Don't... Take the... Yeah.

• 4:10Stavros Halkias?

  Enjoy the year that you got to go to fucking Applebee's a couple times a week, and you got to get fucked up at the bars a couple times extra, even though you're a service worker yourself, and understand that that was an aberration. The way mathematics works is that he will lose. If he was actually a, like, that talented of a gambler, he would be, like, you know, there's guys who...

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Billy Walters is like a... I think he would probably be like a 57%, 58% winning rate.

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  And that's insane. 58's insane.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Something insane like that.

• 4:43Stavros Halkias?

  Really good gamblers win 52% of the time.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  That's also with an inside edge.

• 4:47Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  That's someone who's in Vegas, knows injuries before, beats line movements, not this gentleman who's apparently biff from...

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's got the almanac.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Back to the future too, yeah, I don't know.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  He got the one-year almanac.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  I... This lady's insane, but a good lady too.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  But here's the other thing.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Supportive.

• 5:05Stavros Halkias?

  You want your wife to support your fuck destructive habits? Anyway, uh, here's the other thing that's going on. You, you kinda have... You're the perfect... You're from a family of gamblers, you are exhibiting like gambler-wife behavior, where you're exhibiting like you're Carmella Soprano, where you're like, you love all the evil, you know, you love what comes from the evil.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 5:29Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, that's... But in your case, it's not gonna keep happening. And you're kind of addicted by proxy. She says she has an addictive personality. You come from a family of gamblers.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  You kind of... Now you're addicted. You like that he's gambling. You like, you know, being involved in this shit, and this is feeding on your... This is feeding on, I think, something... I think this is feeding on some of your psychology.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  Your addictive personality. You like being along for the ride.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  And a comfort thing, of course.

• 5:55Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  You know, she sees that her family, they had issues, this and that, it's sort of like...

• 5:59Stavros Halkias?

  But you know what this is? This is like, my boyfriend found a treasure chest in the beach one time, and now I'm mad he doesn't dig in the sand every time we go to the beach. He's not finding the fucking chest, you dumbass!

• 6:12Speaker 03

  It ain't gonna... He ain't gonna hit all the time. There's no way.

• 6:16Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  There's no way.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  In fact...

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  When he starts to go sour, which he will...

• 6:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Call in again, tell me his picks.

• 6:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  I'll ride the other way.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Boom, shakalaka.

• 6:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Pavone's up.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Here we go.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  Pavone fades your boyfriend, and now his fucking baby gets two bassin'ettes. Now he can go to Target and buy the bassinet. He doesn't have to take a fucking Uber XL.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Jersey City could suck my ass once I hit this parlay, lady. But yeah, this lady, she's out of her mind. She's completely...

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fuck...