Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx

How do you know when someone is truly right for you? Have you ever confused attention for love? In this special crossover episode, Jay Shetty steps out of his usual host role and joins media personality Tinx on her podcast, Office Hours, for a candid and profoundly enriching conversation. Jay opens up about his journey with meditation, relationships, and personal well-being. He breaks meditation down into simple, approachable practices like breathwork, visualization, and mantra, making it accessible to anyone who’s ever felt like they ‘can’t meditate.’ Jay and Tinx go deeper, unpacking the digital overwhelm of the constant pings, nonstop news, and the pressure of staying connected. Jay shares practical strategies for reclaiming your peace, especially in the crucial first moments of the day. From changing how we wake up to choosing when and how we consume news, he emphasizes building rituals that foster clarity rather than chaos. Jay explains the concept of love through the three key relationship types: the firework, the candle, and the mirror. He challenges the idea of “one soulmate,” suggesting instead that the people we attract reflect where we are in our own growth and emotional state. The conversation is filled with insight into how to find peace in your singlehood, develop a deeper understanding of yourself, and create a life that naturally attracts meaningful connection. In this conversation, you'll learn: How to Start Meditating When You Feel Stuck How to Use Breathwork to Calm Anxiety Instantly How to Build a Tech-Free Morning Routine How to Consume News Without Feeling Overwhelmed How to Create Real Human Connection in a Digital World Remember, peace shouldn't be something you have to chase—it’s something you can create, right here, right now. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:48 Building Purpose Through the Calm Community 03:38 Struggling with Meditation? Start Here 08:26 Simple Breathing Practice to Calm Your Mind 11:05 Managing News and Notifications Without Losing Peace 18:16 Inside Jay’s Grounding Morning Routine 23:14 The Interview That Changed Jay’s Perspective 25:09 When Interviews Get Deep and Emotional 27:06 Must-Listen Episodes to Start With 29:48 Jay’s Ultimate Dream Guest Revealed 30:36 The Three Types of Love You’ll Experience 34:25 How Jay Met His Wife, Radhi 35:43 What to Look For When Searching for Love 44:37 The Root of Desperation in Dating 45:27 What to Expect from the On Purpose Live Tour 46:46 Preparing Mentally and Physically for Live Shows 48:55 Jay’s Favorite Guilty Pleasures Episode Resources: Tinx | Podcast Tinx | Instagram Tinx | TikTok Hotter in the Hamptons See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have.

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can experience On Purpose in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences for a private Q and A,

• 3:43Jay Shetty?

  intimate meditation, and a meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jayshetty.me/tour and get yours today. Hi everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Today's episode is a little different because instead of hosting, I'm the guest. I joined Tinks on her show, Office Hours, for a deep and insightful conversation where I answer some of the most thought-provoking questions about relationships, dating, and the stresses of life. I always love these conversations because I feel like the questions that she's asking me are what some of you are asking me. It's what you're worried about, it's what you're thinking about.

• 4:25Jay Shetty?

  So if you're struggling with dating right now, if you're struggling with your relationships right now, if you're struggling with a breakup, this episode is for you. If you're navigating a big life decision, a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed with the news and what's happening around you, this episode is for you. I hope you enjoy it.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Jay Shetty.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Jay Shetty.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Welcome to Office Hours. It's so nice to have you on.

• 4:56Jay Shetty?

  Thanks for having me. I'm so grateful to be here.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  This is so exciting. God, I love Calm, I have to say. I love that app. Even though I'm not a meditator, I will get into that later. I have to say that app is like one of the most used on my phone. How has that experience been for you?

• 5:11Jay Shetty?

  That makes me so happy. Yeah, I joined Calm as their Chief Purpose Officer three years ago now, and it all came from this beautiful friendship I had with the founders of Calm. So Michael Acton Smith and Alex, they both founded the app. And we kept hearing from both our worlds that I should connect with them. And they were hearing that they should connect with me. And we got together and it's been incredible to record a seven minute meditation, five days a week, every week for the last three years.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 5:39Jay Shetty?

  And so if someone wants to build a meditation practice, there's seven minutes a day set up for you every single day.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  That's so cool. That's amazing. Do they, do you, are you sort of like a consultant as well for them? Do they bounce ideas off of you?

• 5:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we'll discuss everything from what we're expanding with, how the brain's looking at, looking at the health right now.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 5:59Jay Shetty?

  We've had so many amazing conversations. I'm so proud of, I mean, what we've been able to create together, but what they've done because it's really showed us how meditation can be stories and can be walks and can be practices.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  So true.

• 6:11Jay Shetty?

  And that's what I loved. I didn't want people to have this limited view of what meditation was. I wanted them to have this really practical, alive view of it.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  I know.

• 6:19Jay Shetty?

  It's incredible to see that.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  It's funny that you say that because I, I'm someone who's like, you know, when you have a pet and you have to put their medicine in peanut butter to get them to eat the pill. Like, that's me with meditation. I'm like, I don't meditate, you know, I don't meditate. It's too hard for me, but with Calm, I actually am able to, I do it. Cause that's what meditating is. It's, you know, breath work and thinking about, you know, clearing your mind. But I really need the Calm app. So that's so interesting. We can actually dive in right there. Like, what do you recommend for someone who is stuck with meditation, aside from Calm? Or talk about, a little bit more about Calm. Who thinks that meditation simply won't work for them? Because I guess that's kind of me. I mean, I do Calm. I use the, I like the sleep, going to sleep ones. Every single night I listen to it.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  And if I'm anxious on the plane, I listen. There's a lot of great short ones on, on the app. But for someone who wants to really get into meditation, who feels stuck, what would you say?

• 7:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I find it so funny when people come up to me. They're like, you put me to bed every night. And I love that feeling. It's such a, it's such a nice feeling. And having that intimate space with someone. But for anyone who's struggling with meditation, the first thing I'd say is everyone struggles with meditation. It's almost like trying to work out.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  I feel like you would never. I imagine you can meditate for, just like perfectly. And you're so good at it. And sometimes I, I even think about when I see like you on Instagram or whatever, I'm like, that guy meditates so well. And I know it, but it's just, it's hard.

• 7:47Jay Shetty?

  It's been nearly 20 years, so I better meditate well now.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  I know, but I just, I automatically think of the to do list. When I try to do it with no Calm app, I'm like, oh my God, I have to call the plumber. Oh my God, I have to do that and that. It's just so hard to, to kick into it. But I really love Calm, so maybe it's about marrying the two.

• 8:05Jay Shetty?

  So I want to, I want to share a few things. The first thing is that there's three types of meditation. There's breathwork, there's visualization, and there's mantra. And I'll explain all three. And, and I was trained in all three during my time as a monk. And so I love helping it be a menu for people because I think sometimes people just don't know where to start. And so I remember my first day in the monastery in India, and I saw a young monk teaching younger monks how to meditate. And so I walked up to this young monk and asked him, what are you doing? And he said, it's their first day of school. I'm teaching them how to breathe. And I said, okay. And he said, what did you learn on your first day of school? And I said, maybe one, two, three, A, B, C, I don't know. And he said, well, here we teach them how to breathe because the only thing that stays with you

• 8:50Jay Shetty?

  from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. And he said, everything else changes. Your family, your friends, where you live, all of that can change, but the breath stays with you that whole time. And then he said to me, What changes when you're happy? Your breath. What changes when you're sad? Your breath. What changes when you're late? Your breath. What changes when you're angry? Your breath. And he said, every emotion in your life is connected to your breath. So if you learn to master your breath, you learn to master life. Now, he was 10 years old. And something like that, like 10, 11 years old and sharing all this wisdom. And the reason why I love that story is because you stop looking at meditation as this thing you have to do.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:34Jay Shetty?

  And you recognize it's actually a way of living. It's who you are. You have your breath. And if you look at the best athletes, the best musicians, the best people out there in the world doing incredible things, they've all learned to master their breath. You can't run for that long without knowing your breath. You can't play a wind instrument for that long without mastering your breath. And when you look at it that way, you recognize we're all athletes.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:59Jay Shetty?

  We all require and demand so much of our bodies. And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale. And so if we inhale together right now, Tinks, together, you could probably feel something happening in your nostrils. You can feel the change of your body. And the practice I like people to get comfortable with is as you're listening to this, if you can, of course, if you're not, if you're driving, don't do this. Or if you're on the treadmill, maybe don't do this. But place your left palm on your stomach.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:32Jay Shetty?

  And as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. As you breathe in, feel your stomach go out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. Now, Tinks, were you thinking about what you're gonna eat later?

• 10:58Speaker 03

  No, I wasn't.

• 10:59Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  I really wasn't.

• 11:00Jay Shetty?

  You weren't, right?

• 11:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:01Jay Shetty?

  And what's beautiful about it is we use the sense of touch.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:04Jay Shetty?

  So we were touching our stomachs. We could feel something changing.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:08Jay Shetty?

  And I think sometimes we think meditation's in the mind. But what I like to remind people is that meditation is a very physical, feelable thing. And so both of us there for a second felt everything stop, felt everything slowed down and felt disconnected even from the space we were in. And so use all your senses, light some incense if you like, so that the sense of smell is engaged. Hold your stomach, hold on to something if that helps you feel connected. Don't feel like you have to do it all in your head.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, wow. No, it's so true. That's my favorite part of the sleeping meditation that I do from the Calm app is like, breathe in, you know, then hold and breathe out. And it's, it's crazy, the power of breath. Because even just doing those two breaths now did calm me down, kind of refocus like I was running from something. I'm kind of, you know, mine's all over the place as usual. We're all doing a million things. And we don't think about breathing that much. And we don't, we don't focus on it, but it's incredible, the power of just a few breaths that can transform your, your moment.

• 12:10Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Our usual experience of life is our mind is moving fast.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:15Jay Shetty?

  And our body is sitting still.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  So true.

• 12:17Jay Shetty?

  Our mind is racing from the moment we're up and our body is sitting in a chair.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:22Jay Shetty?

  And what meditation teaches you to do is still your mind so that you can move your body.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:28Jay Shetty?

  And that's what we need to get to. We need to get to a place where we're moving our bodies, stilling our mind as opposed to the other way around.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:34Jay Shetty?

  And I completely agree with you that if anyone, I, I think the best time to use it is use it when you feel like you just rushed to jump onto that train.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:44Jay Shetty?

  Or when you were just rushing into that Uber or when you were just rushing into a meeting. Take a second to just do three deep inhales and exhales. And all of a sudden you'll start to gain confidence in it. I think people think meditation has to be something you do outside of your real life. I think about it completely the opposite. I do it in the back of Ubers. I do it when I'm on trains.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 13:05Jay Shetty?

  I do it when I'm running into a meeting and I'm feeling out of breath or late. I'm doing it in my life. And I think that's a great way to start because it builds your confidence. It gives you some momentum rather than, oh, I haven't meditated today.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:17Jay Shetty?

  It's like, no, I, I just used breath because my breathing was faster, shallow and more random when I was feeling tired, anxious or nervous.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, okay. Well, so maybe I do meditate a little bit because I do, I have been doing that lately. I do, I try to do three really just intentional breaths. Because, you know, with the phone. Our minds are really, it's a lot. Like, there's this trend on social media right now where people are like, unfortunately, my brain can no longer tell the difference between getting an email and being chased by a bear. And it's like, I totally feel that, you know? And I feel like our nervous systems are kind of all out of whack. We're looking at the phone all the time. We're obsessed with the news updates and everything. And it's like, and you're right. And usually, we're sitting in a car or we're sitting in our desk or whatever. And you start to freak out and then you just go, okay, no, I'm here.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  I'm gonna do three breaths and then I'm gonna move on. On that point, I do wanna ask you, there is just 24/7 news. It's a bombardment, a lot of negativity. And I know a lot of people in my community are feeling super, super overwhelmed right now. So aside from intentional breathing, meditation, how would you suggest people dose themselves on the news? Or how do you personally filter the information you receive so that you're informed, but you're not freaking out?

• 14:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think, I read something that said, we're exposed to more tragedy in 24 hours today than we were in our whole lifetime 25 years ago.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 14:58Jay Shetty?

  And if you think about that for a second, it feels true. We consume around 34 gigabytes of data per day. Do you remember when your hard drive wasn't even one gigabyte? And when you're looking at that, just to make it make sense for people, I read an article that was saying, that's like reading 100,000 words every day.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 15:20Jay Shetty?

  It's like watching 25 episodes of Stranger Things in one day. Just back to back to back. So we're consuming so much information. And like you said, not all of it's health. A lot of it's news, notifications, negativity, noise, and I call these the four N's. They put us into a minus state. Every time a notification comes in, you're like minus one energy. Negativity comes in minus two energy. News comes in minus three energy. And the rest of the day, you're literally climbing back up to zero.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Yes, that's exactly how I feel.

• 15:53Jay Shetty?

  That's how you feel, right? You feel inundated and you almost feel buried by these four N's. You feel buried by notifications, negativity, news and noise. So what do you do about it? For me, and I know this sounds bizarre, but it has changed my life and I have to bring it up. There has to be a way that the first five minutes of your day are not on your phone. Okay. And whether that's getting a hatch, which is what I've been using, right next to my bedside. Yes, I got one. Which has this natural light alarm that wakes you up. And again, I hate the word alarm. Let's just think about this for a second. The only time an alarm helps you is when there's a fire or when there's something going wrong. So true. Which means the fact that you wake up to an alarm or an alert means something bad's about to happen.

• 16:36Jay Shetty?

  So if your alarm tone doesn't fill you with calm or fill you with stillness, change it. The second thing I'd say is that that morning five minutes, thirty minutes if you can, is so powerful. And I'll tell you why. Your brain's just waking up. You would never let a hundred people into the bedroom of your mind, right? Just think about that for a second. You would never let a hundred people into your bedroom before you've brushed your teeth, washed your hair, or put on your makeup. But me and you, all of us, let in a hundred people into the bedroom of our mind as soon as we pick up our phone. Now, all of a sudden, imagine a hundred people, your family, your friends, your boss,

• 17:18Jay Shetty?

  crowded around your bed, yelling things at you. Did you get that report in? Or what do you think of this picture I'm about to post? Oh, you forgot to wish your uncle a happy birthday, right? Whatever it is. And all of a sudden, everyone's yelling at you and your day's starting on a negative. Your day's starting on being reactive. So what I try and focus on doing, especially with news, because that's what your question was about, I believe it's so important that news doesn't find us. Wow. I think we live in a world where most of us don't find news or look for news. News finds us, which means it appears on our feed. It means we have the news channel on our television at home

• 18:02Jay Shetty?

  or on a screen open on our laptop without us even wanting it. We don't go and search for it. It's just there in the background of our life. And if news is the background of your life, tragedy is at the forefront of your life. That's the first thing you're seeing. And so what I'd say to people is be really clear about who you get your news from, what time of day you feel comfortable consuming news. When someone tells me they have anxiety, The first two questions I asked them is what did you watch last night?

• 18:31Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 18:31Jay Shetty?

  And when did you last consume the news? Those are the telltale signs. They tell me they watched a murder mystery last night.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 18:37Jay Shetty?

  Or something like that, or some true crime. And then they tell me they just checked the news. So I'm not telling you to not be informed. We're trying to save you from being overwhelmed. So for me, I find the time I'm best at dealing with the news is three hours after I've woken up.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 18:55Jay Shetty?

  Because that gives me the time to set my day up so that I have a strong foundation and a strong place from which to process difficult, sad, tough, challenging news. As opposed to if I'm looking at it immediately, now I'm already thinking, gosh, today's gonna be the worst day. This is terrible. Where's everything going? I haven't had a moment. And it's almost like thinking about it from the perspective of, when do you feel comfortable dealing with something challenging? When do you feel strong enough to say, okay, I'm ready to deal with the day now? And I think for me, that takes three hours to do it. And I don't try and do it just before I go to bed either.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Right.

• 19:33Jay Shetty?

  Because that's really challenging. So pick who you read your news from. Find your news. Don't let it find you. Be really clear about what type of news. Do you like social media news or do you actually prefer reading news from a website? And do you like watching the news on TV? Or are you someone who actually just wants to read a newsletter? I think it's so important that we trade and make these choices rather than letting the news bombard us when it wants, how it wants, and wherever it wants.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  That was really helpful, practical advice. I really like finding the news versus letting it find you. I've, because I, I've personally been struggling with that too. And I, I, I really, really like that. And the timing thing. I'm really bad about the phone first thing in the morning and I need to fix that because it's just such a, it is such a clear difference. When you don't do the phone first thing, you feel better. And you, you know, we lie to ourselves. We say, Oh, well, maybe something happened overnight that I need to know. Nothing happened, nothing. It's exactly what you said. It's you forgot to wish your uncle happy birthday. Your boss needs something. Nothing happened like you would know. And I think that's a big lie I tell myself and I really want to be better about that.

• 20:42Jay Shetty?

  And we all do that. I empathize with that things. Like, I think that's real, especially for those of us who live away from family.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:47Jay Shetty?

  Who are not close. I know my wife feels that way.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:50Jay Shetty?

  It's a real thing, so I want to validate that. I don't think it's makes you weak or not strong. I think we all have that.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:57Jay Shetty?

  And I think the reality is let's find a way of getting that news. That very, very important news. Whether it is you going back to having a landline. Or whether it is you having two separate phones. One you wake up with near your bed that only your emergency contact and your family member has access to and nothing else is on there. There's ways of doing it in a way that protects us and protects the people we love. So I don't want to, you know, invalidate that feeling because that's real as well.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Totally. Okay, so on the topic of morning routines, I feel like you're a guy who has a very. I need to know in detail the morning routine. Like, aside from no phone, walk me through waking up the first hour, couple hours.

• 21:40Jay Shetty?

  So I'll walk you through my morning routine and then I'll break it down into how I think people can use it in their life.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Helpful.

• 21:45Jay Shetty?

  Because I don't think my morning routine should be a standard and no one's morning routine should be a standard. So I wake up around 6:00 AM every day. That's my time that I feel happy and comfortable doing consistently. That's five days a week. I always look at every routine in my life as five days a week. I don't believe it has to apply to my weekends because I feel that there's a recovery and rest that's massively needed on a weekend or whatever your weekend tends to be. So my, I wake up at 6:00 AM. I'm usually in my meditation room, meditating by 6:15. And so 6:00 to 6:15 is brushing my teeth, showering, just getting ready, putting on some comfy clothes. And for me, the thing that's helped me most in the morning is I have a little post-it note.

• 22:30Jay Shetty?

  Next to my bed and I'll put different questions on it that mean something to me. So the first thing I see in the morning is a question and the question is as simple as, what are you grateful for today? Or the question is, what are you excited about today? Or the question is, how are you feeling? And what I find is those questions allow me to start off the day proactively about me, rather than reactively to everything I have to do. And so those, those post-it notes remind me to be before I do anything. Who do I want to be? What is my being about today? The question could say, who, what are you hoping to channel today? And I can say love or kindness or whatever it may be. And all of a sudden I'm set for the day.

• 23:12Jay Shetty?

  And then I'll put on some, it could be bird sounds, it could be mantra music, it could be something that's super calming, almost like spa music. Like I'll be literally getting ready to that. And then six fifteen, I'm meditating. So I meditate for one and a half hours to two hours every day. Usually an hour and a half is in the morning. So six fifteen to seven forty-five, I'm measured, meditating. And then eight AM, I start working out. And so eight AM to nine AM, I'm working out.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  What's your workout game?

• 23:39Jay Shetty?

  That's changed over time. It used to be tennis, it's been pickleball. It was hiking. Now it's strength training because every podcast guest I talk to keeps talking about the value of strength. And I'm in that decade that everything matters in. So all I've been doing is strength training for the past six months now, probably consistently, but three probably really consistently. And so that becomes an hour. And then nine AM, I, I start, I eat some breakfast and start my day. And it's a savory breakfast because I've had too many guests talk about glucose spikes. So my whole life is a savory breakfast. So by nine AM, that's when I feel I have a strong foundation to start my day.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  I love that. I know. I, I, so many people talk about the savory breakfast.

• 24:21Jay Shetty?

  It's huge.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  It's huge. I know. And again, you feel, you feel the difference. I think, you know, the annoying thing about all of this stuff is that it really does work. And then so it's just like, you know, I try to be so real with my community and, and pass on these tips and talk to experts like you. But you know, sometimes you fall off and then that's okay. And so I really like what you said about the weekends too, because I think when you're only looking at something for doing it five days or four days or whatever, you know, your week looks like, it's nice because then you have a little bit of that leeway time. And it's okay. It's, it's okay. I think. With all of these practices that are, you know, aimed to make us feel better, I think the point is they have to make us feel better.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  So it's like if your routine is getting to a point where, you know, it's not sustainable, you guys, it's okay to be like, okay, well, I need to change this. I need an extra half hour of sleep. I like what you said about, you know, that's when you're comfortable. You know, you have to figure it out and it's, it also changes over time too. So I like that.

• 25:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you want it to be the exception and not the rule. I look at it as 70%.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:28Jay Shetty?

  I want 70% of my week to be as optimal, as healthy as possible.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:33Jay Shetty?

  And then the 25 to 30% that's left over, I'm okay for that to be more mixed up. So five days a week, I'll have a savory breakfast. It does make a difference as someone coming from a former sugar addict.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 25:44Jay Shetty?

  Like I used to wake up wanting to eat a sugary breakfast and then eat something sugary at lunch and then have something sugary in the evening. Having a savory breakfast has completely curbed that desire and it's setting me up not to have those crazy crashes later on in the day. And now my energy is actually sustained throughout the day as well.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  I love Glucose Goddess.

• 26:05Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, me too. Love Jessie.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Her book and like I, you know, that is something, I haven't met her in person, but her teachings really had an impact on the way that I eat. And again, I've fallen off right now, I'm kind of in an off period, but just having that knowledge is so helpful. I really think she's smart.

• 26:22Jay Shetty?

  I agree.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Okay, switching gears a little bit, you have this super, super successful podcast. What's one interview that took you by surprise?

• 26:31Jay Shetty?

  I'm waiting for you to come on, Tane.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Okay, well, I know we need to do it. We need to do it.

• 26:35Jay Shetty?

  Come on. Say that again. What's a?

• 26:37Speaker 03

  What's an interview or a guest that took you by surprise?

• 26:41Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's a great question. Who took me by surprise? I'd say the person who took me most by surprise was Brian Chesky, who's the founder of Airbnb, the CEO of Airbnb. And the reason is because. I thought that he might have the archetype of a tech founder.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:02Jay Shetty?

  Because that's what he's done. And so I wasn't sure. And I try very hard to not go in to any interview having any judgment.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 27:09Jay Shetty?

  But at the same time, there's a certain archetype that you expect to meet or that you expect to converse with. And when I met him, I realized that he's an artist and a designer.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 27:20Jay Shetty?

  In a tech person's body. Have you, you've met Brian before?

• 27:23Speaker 03

  I've met Brian and it's so true. And I listened to that interview and it was a great interview. You, you really, it was an amazing conversation between you two.

• 27:30Jay Shetty?

  Thank you. Yeah, it's, it's easily one of my favorites because I think it shows you. I think there's a lot of people out there right now who are artists and designers who are thinking, well, I can't find a company or build a tech company or I can't work at a company like that because I don't know coding or engineering. And it's like, well, no, no, no, no, no.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:47Jay Shetty?

  You can be an artist in a tech company. That's what Steve Jobs was. That's what Brian Chesky is. And that's why I love Brian so much. He reminded me of the closest thing we have to a Steve Jobs visionary type.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 28:00Jay Shetty?

  Of someone who just thinks so outside the box. He was super vulnerable about his love life, his relationships. He's 40 years old, he's a billionaire, but he was looking for love. And I thought it was so brave of him to be so open about that. And yeah, I love him. He's become a great friend. He's an awesome guy.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  He's great.

• 28:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that was the most surprising one.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. You go really deep with your guests. Do you ever find yourself getting emotional when you're interviewing people?

• 28:25Jay Shetty?

  I, I'm one, I can get really emotional. Like, I, I think the most emotional I get is at weddings. I was just at my friend's wedding two weeks ago.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 28:33Jay Shetty?

  And this was a wedding I was just attending. But when I'm officiating weddings, I'm so scared that I'm going to ruin the ceremony because I'm going to cry.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 28:41Jay Shetty?

  So I've got to stand there in my head, I'm going, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. And that's what I do in the podcast too, because I feel that people are so genuinely expressing something that they may never have shared somewhere else before. Or it's really hard and courageous and brave of them to go there. And my heart, I almost feel like crying sometimes or I'd have to stop myself from crying because. I'm not even crying because of what they're sharing, so emotional. It's because I respect the bravery. I respect the courage it takes to put your life out there. And you do that, I respect you for doing it. So many of our peers, so many of our friends do that, I respect them for doing it. Because it's a really courageous act, it's a really difficult thing to do.

• 29:22Jay Shetty?

  And so my tears are almost preempting the fact that when you open up, there's going to be so many different reactions and responses. And I feel really grateful that people trust me to do that with. And I mean, you know, yeah, I, I think one that was amazing was Tom Holland, when he opened about his sobriety journey.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, that was another one I listened to, that was great.

• 29:43Jay Shetty?

  And it was just amazing because the amount, the hundreds of thousands of messages we've had from that episode saying, you helped me, or Tom helped me get through my sobriety, or get back on, or have more grace for myself. And then you cry because of that message, because you're thinking about all the people that are affected. So there, there's a lot of crying in private, because it can't ruin the interview.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  I think it's great, I think it's great. I think you people feel really safe with you. And I think your vulnerability, like inspires vulnerability in your guests. So it's just really, really, really good work. Okay, so if, if someone was new to your podcast, what's a standout interview that they should start with?

• 30:22Jay Shetty?

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• 31:05Jay Shetty?

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• 31:46Jay Shetty?

  on purpose. I would have said Brian, but now that I've said it already, let me think.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  You've interviewed everyone. Amazing.

• 31:52Jay Shetty?

  Which one have you listened? It sounds like you've been listening.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  I've been listening a lot. No, I think I think I thought the Brian one was great. The Tom one is great. My friend Claudia was just on your podcast. She was great and was super vulnerable, which is a side of her that people don't see that often. So it was great.

• 32:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, Claudia was amazing. She was exactly like what I was just describing. I had to hold back my tears. I'd say if someone was new to my podcast and they had to listen to one, it's such a great question. Let me think. I want to give a, I want to give a really thoughtful answer to one that would really have an impact. Oh, there's, there's a couple that I think I really loved. One, one that I'd say that that stands out to me and I say it because it was such a shifting moment for our show. It was Kendall Jenner on the show and it's because she hadn't really done that many interviews at that time and she hadn't really, I don't even know if she'd done a podcast at that time.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  And she doesn't really do that format a lot. Yeah.

• 32:47Jay Shetty?

  Amazing conversation and it was such a pivotal moment for the show that it, that it stands out for me. And so I'd say listen to that one.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 32:55Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Who's someone you haven't interviewed who you still want to interview?

• 33:00Jay Shetty?

  I'm waiting for you. I already said that.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Of course, of course.

• 33:03Jay Shetty?

  And I mean that, I genuinely mean that, waiting for you. And then, I mean, I've always said my number one pick is Cristiano Ronaldo.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Oh my God, that would be amazing.

• 33:12Jay Shetty?

  That's my number one pick.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  I'll manifest for you because I would love to listen to that conversation. I really don't, I don't think I've seen him in many interviews.

• 33:20Jay Shetty?

  He hasn't. It's, it's definitely a language barrier too of wanting to get the best out of him. He's had, he's had a couple of great ones over 10 years ago now, interviews that really spoke to him. So yeah, that's, and I'm a Manchester United fan. I would be like high fiving my 15 year old self.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Of course. I love that.

• 33:38Jay Shetty?

  I'll do that.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Okay, so you talk a lot about love, so I want to get your opinion on a few things. So do you think that that we all have one soulmate or multiple loves of your life? This is a debate we have in my community all the time.

• 33:53Jay Shetty?

  I love that. I think you will fall in love with three different people in your life.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 34:00Jay Shetty?

  The first is the firework. It's big, it's loud, it lights up the sky, but it fades away. The second is the candle.

• 34:13Jay Shetty?

  It's slower, it's quieter, it has a longer shelf life, but eventually you might leave it because it doesn't have the spark. And the third one is the mirror. The one that shows you all your flaws, shows you a reflection, and shows you who you truly are. And the firework will probably fade off its own accord, or the firework will probably fade itself. The candle, you might leave before it fades. And the mirror, you might think it's broken because you don't like what you see. And so I think we often hop and jump and skip between all three of these

• 34:59Jay Shetty?

  because it doesn't fulfill one part of us. One doesn't have the spark, one doesn't have the longevity, and one is too honest. And I think I've been in love with all three in my life. What I found was that the mirror was the most powerful one because as soon as I didn't realize the mirror was broken, and it was showing me exactly who I am, which is what my wife's done for me. And as long as the person holding the mirror is compassionate and empathetic, and not shoving it in your face, but holding it kindly there. It can be the most beautiful relationship that you'll ever have. But I don't believe in the one soulmate that you're destined to be with.

• 35:43Jay Shetty?

  Because I really think that there's a soulmate for each frequency you operate at. So there's a soulmate for your lowest frequency, which when you're operating on that frequency, you'll find really attractive. But as soon as you upgrade to your mid-frequency, you'll think to yourself, how was I ever with that person? And then you have that frequency, and then you have your soulmate of your highest frequency, which you could argue is your ultimate soulmate. But that requires you to step up.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  You have to do the work.

• 36:11Jay Shetty?

  And do that work. And so I think you'll find a soulmate. And if you think about even the word soulmate, I really believe that a soulmate is a mate for your soul. And that could be a friend, it could be a romantic partner. And that lower vibration, that lower-frequency soulmate is almost like a cellmate, a prison mate.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 36:32Jay Shetty?

  That kind of keeps you stuck. And I think a lot of us can empathize with having lived with a cellmate for some time, where you thought you were in love, but actually you were in prison. And you were being held back from your potential. You were being trapped based on what you believed was possible for you. And maybe you settled for less than you deserve because you believed that was your soulmate and cellmate for life. And so I want people to be much more freer with knowing that your real partner is out there and they're not this perfect person and they're not this person that has it all together. And they're not going to show you the best parts of yourself either. This idea that the best person will bring out the best of me,

• 37:14Jay Shetty?

  they'll show you the worst of you so that you can bring out the best of yourself. That's what we're trying to work on. And my wife's definitely done that for me. The key is they do it in a nonjudgmental, empathetic and loving way. Not in a way that's like, I see all your flaws and pointing them out in a manipulative or controlling way.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Sure, sure. How long have you guys been married?

• 37:36Jay Shetty?

  We've been married this year for nine years and together for 12.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  How'd you guys meet?

• 37:40Jay Shetty?

  Oh, gosh. So we tell the full story on the first ever episode of my podcast.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  Okay, go listen, you guys.

• 37:47Jay Shetty?

  So that actually, if you want to know.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  That's a great one.

• 37:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's the first one. Start with that. Yeah, that's probably the right answer to that question.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  I love that, okay.

• 37:53Jay Shetty?

  But yeah, we met before I became a monk.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:57Jay Shetty?

  I was serving at my local temple in London. Because I was training in my final year of a college, knowing that I was gonna do that. And I met a woman who was around my mom's age. And I was asked to show her around with some chores and services. And I showed her around and at the end of it, she said, I have a daughter that I'd love to introduce to meditation and spirituality. She's around your age, would you connect with her? And I said, well, I'm gonna become a monk, so I'll introduce her to my sister. Cause they were a similar age. That happens to be my wife's mom.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  No way.

• 38:29Jay Shetty?

  She brought in my wife like a week later to introduce me to her. I'd asked my sister to come along. I saw my wife, this is like years ago now, I thought she was absolutely stunning and beautiful and was like, no, focus on being a monk, focus, focus, focus. And then when I came back from being a monk three years later, her and my sister were best friends. And so my sister was our, was our matchmaker in the end.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 38:49Jay Shetty?

  That's the short version.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  That's beautiful, that's beautiful. I think a lot of people listening to that story who are single might think, I would love to meet someone organically like that, that's the dream. You know, that doesn't happen anymore. So I'm curious what you would say to someone who was having that thought. And then secondly, if you could give your thoughts on dating apps? Because I think a lot of people in my community are feeling pretty drained from them right now. And you know, my, my belief is that things like your story, natural connections, meeting people still happen. And the dating apps can be great, but they've also made us believe that that stuff doesn't happen. But it does, like we still go live in the world. We still meet someone's mom who has a cute daughter, like we still do all that stuff. So I'm just curious.

• 39:36Jay Shetty?

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• 40:19Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colours, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

• 41:04Jay Shetty?

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• 41:35Speaker 02

  Your thoughts?

• 41:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think times are changing too. Like, if you look at it, 25, 30, maybe even longer now, you know, 50 years ago, most people met someone who lived in one-mile radius from where they grew up. So you'd get introduced to someone through your parents, or through your friends, or maybe you'll bump into them while walking to your building or whatever it was. And I think we always romanticise things in the past. And I want to point that out, because I think we all have this. And by the way, we have this as humans. We always say, "The good old days." "Oh, in my time, things were amazing." And you know you're old when you start saying stuff like that. Like, "Oh, the music when I grew up was really better than today's music." And by the way, 20 years from now,

• 42:19Jay Shetty?

  people will be saying that about Sabrina Carpenter and being like, "When I had..." You know, and so it's like the same thing that goes round and round. And so first of all, I like to just cut out this nostalgic, false belief, because what it does is it gives you a safety blanket of being like, "Oh, back in the day, things were amazing. Today, it's worse." And I think, I mean, you could look at that, you could cut that and slice that both ways in the world and not. There'll be plenty of historians and researchers who say today's better than ever, and some will say it's harder than ever. And ultimately, when it comes to dating, I think the point is that mindset doesn't help. And so, yes, I really believe that what people are looking for, and I did this last week, so it's funny you ask, I became Match's relationship advisor, match.com's relationship advisor last year. Amazing.

• 43:04Jay Shetty?

  And the reason I did that was because I developed a core values test in my book, Eight Rules of Love, two years ago, and I wanted to partner with an app that would help people match based on core values. Mm hmm. My goal wasn't that you should have the same values, my goal was your values should be something you're aware of. I think too many people are with people that they find out their values three years later. Wow. Oh, my gosh, you wanted to have kids? I had no idea. Yeah. Oh, really? You wanted to become an entrepreneur and quit your steady job? I had no idea. Oh, I didn't realize you actually want to live in the farm and not at the city, like, no idea. We're just so unaware of these very big things about someone. And so we did this event last week in L A on Thursday night. It was for a hundred singles in L A. Wow.

• 43:47Jay Shetty?

  And I was really excited to see how it went. And the goal was for people to meet in person, but with that ethos. And I started out with this experiment where I was standing in the middle of the room. I was surrounded by a hundred singles and I read out loud I statements. And if it applied to them, they had to step forward. And if it didn't apply to them, they stood where they were. Okay. So imagine a hundred people surrounded and I read out the first one, which was something like, I consistently miss red flags. And a bunch of people stepped forward. I asked them what red flags they missed and people were honest but tiptoeing. Sure. And then I asked another question and it got deeper every time. So the next question I asked was something like, I sometimes forget my friends in a relationship.

• 44:31Jay Shetty?

  So when I'm dating someone, I forget about my friendships. And it was so funny because this group of girls were there with their friend and they all pushed this friend forward. Oh, my God. And I love the honesty. I was like, this is hilarious. And all three of the friends were like, yeah, she always does that. And then I gave her the mic and she goes, yes, I'm the friend that leaves my friend. And I was like, how beautiful. And then it got really deep. And then I asked a question. I've been cheated on by an ex and people stepped forward and shared. The reason I'm sharing this is what I found was that all of these people at every stage were willing to be vulnerable. It took a second, it took a beat, it took a moment, it wasn't straight off the bat. People tiptoed forward at the start, at the end, people were coming forward and opening their hearts. And what I realized is that the reason why we think online dating doesn't work is because

• 45:15Jay Shetty?

  we want instant intimacy, we want instant vulnerability, we want instant openness. And even that night, I had to wait and be patient for people to feel safe with me, with each other, with the space. And I think that's what we should be focusing on is can I create a safe space where someone feels they can be that way with me? The other thing I'd say for anyone who's feeling exhausted with the apps, again, is I'm not surprised. Of course you are, it's exhausting to be rejected, reject, accept, move forward, ghosted, whatever it may be, everything in between. But I'd say the real challenge is not the app and it's our mindset.

• 45:55Jay Shetty?

  And what I mean by that is we live, when we're dating, we live in one of two states. We're either passive, so we say things like, it will happen when it happens, I'm not worried right now. Secretly, we're really scared and insecure and pretending, right? And the other side is we're pressured. Oh my gosh, did you see that person just got engaged? I'm thirty five, how am I still single? There's all this pressure. So we live in being passive or feeling pressure. And really, what I was saying to everyone that night and what my goal for everyone listening today would be, is I want you to be in a state of peace. Peace with your past, peace with your present and peace about your future. Because guess what? Pressure doesn't attract love. How could pressure ever attract love?

• 46:39Jay Shetty?

  And how could being passive ever attract love? So how do you get peace? Peace is saying, I know what happened in my past wasn't a waste of time. It hurt, it was painful, it was the worst. But it wasn't a waste of time because it showed me who I don't want to be with and who I don't want to become. And by the way, I'm not going to put pressure on myself because I actually believe that when I live in a state of peace and calm, I'm now operating at that frequency that attracts a peaceful and calming relationship into my life. Whereas if I feel pressure, I'll attract drama. And if I'm passive, I'll attract trauma. But if I'm at peace, I'll attract someone who's calm. And I'll attract someone who's matching my frequency.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:24Jay Shetty?

  Sorry, go on.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  No, I'm nodding. If you're listening to this, I'm nodding crazy, in a crazy way, because I agree so much. I think I'm at peace. I really do. I had a dating coach on.

• 47:35Jay Shetty?

  You feel at peace.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  I feel like I'm at peace. I know. I think the dating coach I had on recently, and she was like, maybe you're secretly like, because I said something like, I'm really, I said something like, if, when it happens, it will happen. But I genuinely feel very at peace. For the first time, really, in the past, I don't know, only like the past couple of months, I feel really good. Like, I feel so, you know, as you said, my past is my past for a reason. It got me to where I am today. And in the future, you know, I'm excited, but I'm also just grateful for where I am now. I think a big problem that I have with the dating culture and like, the way that we view finding the one or whatever partner

• 48:20Speaker 03

  is that it really like encourages people to forget to be grateful for where they are. And for me, I focus so much on creating a life that I love. So that, you know, to your previous point, that I'm vibrating at my highest point that I can be. So that, you know, I love the saying, like, water seeks its own level. And so I always think about that. I'm like, I want to be up here when I run into another person who I'm compatible with, and they're up here. But yeah, I don't know. I wonder, I wonder, do you think I'm at peace, Caroline? You do? I think really I am for the, for the, for the first time, which is cool. It's, it's a nice place to be, but I think that's right.

• 49:00Jay Shetty?

  I feel it, I feel it for whatever it's worth, in your presence today, for sure.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 49:04Jay Shetty?

  And also, I was gonna say that I love what you're saying because A lot of the times, people will say, well, how do I know it's love? And if you're already living a life you love, you'll know it's love.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 49:18Jay Shetty?

  Because you're already living at that level. Everything is operating at the vibration and frequency of love. So when something new comes in, you actually know what frequency it's vibrating at.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 49:28Jay Shetty?

  You won't have to guess anymore because it makes sense. It aligns.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:32Jay Shetty?

  You'll know whether it's jealousy, lust, envy, confusion.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:37Jay Shetty?

  Whatever it may be, because you already love everything that's going on. But if you're hating everything that's going on, now everything feels like love.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  So true.

• 49:45Jay Shetty?

  Because everything feels better than where you're at.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Wow, I really like that. That's actually so true. And I think that will resonate with so many people. I know for me in my twenties, that was so the case. I was desperate, desperate to have a boyfriend because I didn't really like myself and I didn't really like my life. I felt like I wasn't living up to my potential. I didn't feel creatively fulfilled. I didn't like myself as a person. And instead of dealing with all those things, I was like, how can I get a boyfriend? Need to chase boys, need a boyfriend, need a boyfriend to validate, to validate my existence. And it's such a great turning point when you can stop and kind of pivot in your life and think, and really focus on, you know, loving yourself and being loved, to your point.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  So when it comes in, you'll know.

• 50:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you recognize it.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  I love that. Yeah, I love that so much. So you're gearing up for a massive live tour. What can people expect from this tour? It's so exciting.

• 50:45Jay Shetty?

  I'm very excited. It's the first time in six years since we launched the podcast that I actually get to go do this.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 50:51Jay Shetty?

  On stage across North America to start with. And I think people can expect surprise guests in every city.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Love.

• 50:57Jay Shetty?

  Some of your favorites, some absolutely new ones. So really, really excited about that. People can expect to actually have a human connection. I want everyone to be able to ask questions. I want to make it really interactive. People will be able to come and be a part of the experience. And I want people to leave there with community. I think that's something that I found when I'm touring that's different, is that people don't walk out of that room with the same people they came with. They're walking around, having conversations with people next to them. If you think about it, everyone in that room is going to be someone who listens to On Purpose.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 51:27Jay Shetty?

  They're listening every day, they're listening every week, they're listening every month. Imagine being in the same space and now you're not walking or you're not in your kitchen or you're not at the gym, you're actually in this same space, listening to the conversation. I can't imagine what kind of connections will come out of that. So I think it's gonna be super exciting, it's gonna be meaningful. I'm gonna be leading meditations on stage, so for anyone who's been struggling, I'll be guiding those meditations as well. I think it's gonna be a really meaningful impactful evening and I can't wait, I'm so excited.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  That's so exciting. What's the hardest part of doing a huge show and like planning something at this scale? Do you get nervous? I can't imagine you do, but what's, are there any challenges that you're looking forward to overcoming?

• 52:07Jay Shetty?

  So I went on a world tour two years ago. So we did nearly forty cities in like three, four months. And that was much harder than I expected it to be. And I have a lot of clients who are musicians who tour and do like a hundred, hundred and fifty shows, two hundred shows, and they always used to tell me that they'd be exhausted by show fifty. And so I didn't even do fifty shows, so I can really empathize with people who toured that long. To me, it becomes about, everything is sacrificed. And I don't mean that as like, oh my god, I'm sacrificing. Everything is about the craft. So for example, when I was on tour last time, my day would start around two or four P M. For working, I mean, it would start later because I'd start with a group meditation

• 52:51Jay Shetty?

  for people who'd opted in for the big, the smaller meditation. I'd start a Q and A session for that group, then the show would start at like seven thirty. So I'd stop eating at midday and then I wouldn't eat until midnight.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 53:03Jay Shetty?

  And then I'd wake up, jump on a plane and go and do it all over again in another place. And so I never went out at night. I never went out to a restaurant because I was on vocal rest. And so to me, the key is for that time, you've got to be totally zoned in. And I love that, I really enjoy it. I think about it like an athlete at the championships or Super Bowl, whatever it is, where it's like, you've just got to be focused on that one thing. And there's a beautiful thing that comes out of that. You get really in the zone, you recognize what talents and skills you have, you recognize your ability to fast that I didn't know I could do that anymore for that long. And so it was just like a really beautiful. A reminder to build different muscles.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 53:43Jay Shetty?

  And build different strengths and find a new sense of confidence. And so, yeah, everyone's always like, did you travel to this place? What did you see? I'm like, I didn't see.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  You're like, I saw my hotel room.

• 53:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I saw my hotel room. I saw a plane.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 53:55Jay Shetty?

  And I saw the venue. And I love that. I don't have any, that's beautiful. Like, that's what it's for.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:00Jay Shetty?

  I'm not traveling for pleasure. I'm traveling to serve and it's, it's really exciting.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  That's, I love that. Okay, before we go, I have to ask you, do you have any guilty pleasures? Like junk food, movie, TV shows? Like, what, when you're like, you know what, I'm gonna treat myself. Like, what do you do?

• 54:16Jay Shetty?

  So there's this place in LA called Mr. Charlie's.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:20Jay Shetty?

  It's basically plant-based McDonald's.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 54:22Jay Shetty?

  So they do chicken nuggets, they do a chicken sandwich, it's plant-based, they do the fries. And like, I've now got to once every two weeks, I need that.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, that's good.

• 54:32Jay Shetty?

  Every week. It's now got to once every two weeks. And then I'm a, I love Van Leeuwen.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Oh, so good, yeah.

• 54:39Jay Shetty?

  And so, my Van Leeuwen order, my wife believes this should be on their menu, because I have a very specific order. So I go and get a double chocolate fudge brownie scoop of ice cream. With hot fudge on top, with sprinkles, cookie crumble, honeycomb candy, and I think that's about it.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:59Jay Shetty?

  Those are my two food guilty pleasures.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 55:02Jay Shetty?

  Every two weeks, I'll do that now, on one day, together.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:05Jay Shetty?

  So that day, glucose goddess, ignore it. Just don't talk to Jesse for a week. Pretend like it didn't happen. And then, TV-wise, I find like, no, I think I watch good stuff. I mean, I just watched White Lotus, the new episode came out, but that's not good to play. This is great TV, so I love that.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:24Jay Shetty?

  This year, it used to, definitely like, at one point, I would never miss an episode of Selling Sunset.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Wait, I love that. Okay.

• 55:31Jay Shetty?

  But I love real estate, so I would skip. And I was telling Jason, I met Jason recently, and I was telling him, I was like, I love Selling Sunset, but I always skip to all the homes because I love properties and real estate. He's like, yeah, that's what every guy says. And so I was like, all right, Jason, thanks for judging me, but it's true. So, yeah, that's what I like to do.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Okay, well, Van Leeuwen, if you're listening, we need the Jay Shetty on the menu. That's crazy. Crazy that that that hasn't happened yet. Jay, thank you for coming on. This was so meaningful and I just, I think you are so wise and I love your energy. Where can people find you and where can people get tickets for the tour?

• 56:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'd love for people to come see me on tour. It's jshetty.me forward slash tour. Jshetty.me forward slash tour. And then you can find me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, wherever you watch social and and then on any podcast app, iHeart, Sirius, and all the other ones, Apple, Spotify, everything. So yeah. Thanks. And honestly, I had such a great time. That was one of my favorite conversations I've had and you are the best and on purpose is waiting for you.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 56:28Jay Shetty?

  And so we look forward to having you on the show.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye.

• 56:33Jay Shetty?

  If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.

• 56:42Speaker 04

  You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?

• 56:54Speaker 05

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• 57:24Speaker 06

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all keep the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing to death, that's what.

• 57:45Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 57:48Speaker 02

  I'm not the first then.

• 57:49Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.