LeAnn Rimes on Perimenopause, Rage, Grief, and Starting Over

LeAnn Rimes joins Dr. Mindy for a deeply honest conversation about what perimenopause has brought to the surface in her life. She opens up about the unpredictability of her hormones, the exhaustion of trying to maintain the same pace she has carried for decades, and the difference between anxious thoughts and anxiety that lives in the body. Together, LeAnn and Dr. Mindy explore why perimenopause can make old wounds feel louder, why hormone therapy can help without solving everything, and what it looks like to slow down when your identity has always been tied to performing, producing, and pushing through. This is a conversation about hormones, but it is also about identity, capacity, anger, rest, and the question so many women begin asking in midlife: who do I want to be now? In this episode you'll learn: The difference between mental anxiety and physical “body anxiety” Why LeAnn has had to change her relationship with rest What happens when your life still demands more than your body can give The grief women may experience around motherhood, identity, and missed choices Why hormone replacement therapy is not always a simple fix How perimenopause can force women to reconsider who they have always been More on LeAnn Rimes LeAnn Rimes is a 2x Grammy Award-winning singer, songwriter, performer, and actress whose career has spanned more than 30 years. She rose to fame as a teenager and has since built a career across music, television, writing, and live performance. In recent years, LeAnn has also spoken openly about mental health, trauma, psoriasis, anxiety, and the realities of growing up in the public eye. She currently stars in 9-1-1: Nashville and is touring in celebration of the 30th anniversary of her album Blue. Website: leannrimes.com https://leannrimes.com/LeAnn's Tour Dates https://leannrimes.com/tour-all-events/LeAnn's Substack: @leannrimescibrian https://open.substack.com/pub/leannrimescibrianInstagram: @leannrimes https://www.instagram.com/leannrimes/Soul of EverLe Candles https://soulofeverlestore.com/For more resources related to today’s episode, visit the podcast episode page: drmindypelz.com/ep355 https://www.drmindypelz.com/ep355 Connect with Dr. Mindy: Join Reset Academy https://resetacademy.drmindypelz.com/reset-academy?utm_source=libsyn&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=&utm_content=loc-description&utm_campaign=reset-academyWatch the episodes on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DrMindyPelz?sub_confirmation=1Follow Dr. Mindy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.mindypelz/Subscribe to Dr. Mindy’s newsletter https://www.drmindypelz.com/ Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, fasting routine, or lifestyle.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Mindy Pelz?

  Okay, I have something I've got to say that I really think a lot of women need to hear. If you've ever followed a health program and it didn't work, check this out. This is not your fault. I promise you. Let me explain. Most fitness programs, most fasting protocols, most dietary advice, it was researched on men. It was designed for men and then handed to women with a shrug. And here you go. Hope this works for you. But here's the thing, you operate on a 28 day hormonal cycle. The foods you eat, the length of your fast, even the intensity of your workouts,

• 0:42Mindy Pelz?

  all of it needs to be timed to where you are in that cycle to actually get a result. This is the science I teach inside my Reset Academy. This is the science that I have researched for over a decade. And inside my Academy, every month I walk you through it in a very practicable and actionable and way. And it's actually built for your body, for a feminine body. So it's going to work. I promise you, I see it over and over again. So no more guessing, no more following advice that was never designed for you. This is a moment to get back into relationship with this beautiful body

• 1:26Mindy Pelz?

  that you are so blessed to live in. So if you're ready to finally understand this incredible body of yours and work with it instead of constantly fighting against it, come find me over in the Reset Academy. It's resetacademy.drmindypelz.com. That's resetacademy.drmindypelz.com. I'll see you there.

• 1:54Mindy Pelz?

  Hey, Dr. Mindy here and welcome to the Live Like a Girl podcast, where I bring you icons, disruptors, educators, scientists, and doctors that show you what can be possible when you love and celebrate the female body you are blessed to live in. Let's dive in.

• 2:17Mindy Pelz?

  Right now, there are eight million women in the United States living through perimenopause. Two million more will cross into perimenopause this year alone. That's not a niche experience. That's an entire generation of women quietly, white knuckling their way through a season nobody prepared them for. Not only have I been through the perimenopause experience myself, but I've also had a front row seat to what this season looks like for a musical artist the world has adored since she was a child, LeAnn Rimes. Many of you know her as the youngest Grammy Award winning singer songwriter

• 3:01Mindy Pelz?

  who blasted into the country music scene at the tender age of 14 years old with her epic song, "Blue." Personally, I know her as a humble, kind, creative, and incredibly intelligent woman who three years ago reached out to me for help as she was drowning in her perimenopause symptoms. For the past three years, I've had the pleasure of walking alongside LeAnn, helping her find the right health tools to smooth her incredibly turbulent perimenopausal ride. I've witnessed her stand in front of thousands of people and sing with a depth of love that literally brings you to your knees.

• 3:47Mindy Pelz?

  I've also watched her offstage wrestle with the confusion, insecurity, rage, anxiety, and depression that accompanies the perimenopausal journey. I've sat with her as she's had to make the excruciating decision to cancel sold out shows because her body simply couldn't go anymore. And in that same moment, I've watched her rediscover new parts of herself as she continues to learn that her body needing rest doesn't make her any less worthy. She spent her entire life in performance mode. As early as 14 years old, she handed her life over to the music world

• 4:30Mindy Pelz?

  and moved into a tour bus where her every day became about entertaining others. She had to show up, look beautiful, put on a happy face, and perform no matter how she felt underneath the lights. And now, in her 40s, she's doing something I think is far braver than any performance. She's very publicly letting people watch her navigate her perimenopausal journey in all of its messiness, openly falling apart at moments, and then learning how to put herself back together in real time for us all to see. We talk a lot on this show about the zone of chaos,

• 5:14Mindy Pelz?

  that stretch of perimenopause where everything that used to work stops working and your body starts sending you messages in a language you were never taught to read. Rage comes out of nowhere. Anxiety that used to live in your head now lives in your skin. And you discover a body that finally, after decades of being pushed past its limits, starts refusing to be ignored. That is why I have brought you my dear friend, LeAnn Rimes. You know her voice. It's the one that made her a Grammy winner at 14 years old. That's carried her through three decades in music

• 5:55Mindy Pelz?

  that she's actually celebrating right now with the 30th anniversary of "Blue." You may also know her from the screen, from Coyote Ugly and currently starring in 911 Nashville. What you may not know is how long she's been quietly doing deep work, the trauma work, the nervous system work, to become the woman sitting across from me in this conversation. In this episode, LeAnn and I go to the places we always go when it's just the two of us. Control as a trauma response? What rage is really trying to tell us? Whether the body forgets how to rest after a lifetime of overriding it?

• 6:36Mindy Pelz?

  And what it means to let yourself be loved for exactly who you are becoming, not just who you used to be? If you ever felt like your body stopped cooperating with the plan you had for your life, I think you're going to see yourself in this incredible conversation. So again, without further ado, let's dive in my sweet friend, LeAnn Rimes. Okay, my friend, this is where I want to start this conversation. I looked up a statistic this morning. There are eight million women in the United States right now in perimenopause.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 7:16Mindy Pelz?

  It's a lot. And there's two million that enter perimenopause every single year. So from your perspective, what has been the hardest part of being deep into your perimenopausal years?

• 7:36Speaker 01

  I'm in it right now. Like, I mean, today, today's a day for me. And it's been, it's been a few really rough months. So I think there are several. One of the biggest things for me is the inconsistency. Because I, in my type A brain, and with, you know, how disciplined I am with my health and

• 8:05Speaker 01

  with my life, like I feel like if I, in my mind, if I do all these things, right? It should at least, I should have some kind of consistency. And I'm at the point right now where I I can find a consistent rhythm for a short period of time and then something shifts. And then I'm chasing it again. And I am exhausted by that, to be really honest. And it's just, I'm, I haven't gotten to the place yet to where I've completely surrendered to the inconsistency. I wish I could say that I have.

• 8:41Mindy Pelz?

  Interesting.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  I wish I could say I have, but I, you know, it's, it's hard for me when my life demands a consistent output. And I think a lot of people, I mean, whether you have a job like I do that's public facing, or you have children who are in constant need of your attention, whatever it may be, our lives demand a certain kind of consistent output. And when you, you can't provide that output. Or honestly, I still do, but I also am very depleted when I provide that output sometimes.

• 9:20Mindy Pelz?

  Would you, would you call yourself a control freak?

• 9:24Speaker 01

  Maybe um I yes, out of safety, it's a safety, it's to keep myself safe. I mean, it definitely is a trauma response. Um, and it's actually gotten worse as I've gone into perimenopause. I think a lot of things have gotten worse. The the OCD brain, um, I mean, I've never been actually diagnosed with OCD, although I have very obsessive thinking sometimes. Um, obsessive anxiety, uh, and it and again, I think that kind of goes back to a a trauma response of when so many things in my life have been so out of control, whether it be family as at a young age, or, you know, being in the public eye in my job.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Um, for so long, like, I need to get be able to control my environment to some degree. And I think because um, when we start losing all of those hormones, it gets it gets louder. So I think, you know, I've and I've been doing a lot of trauma work as, you know, we can get into this, but um, I've been doing. I took, I think, a break because I've done so much work on myself. And I think it took a few years of a break where I just needed to live and like not work on things. And then you introduced me um, to Frank and um, Frank Anderson, who I absolutely adore.

• 10:44Mindy Pelz?

  He's amazing.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  He is the sweetest person ever, and I have had really started to dive back into a lot of my trauma with him. And so I think it's opening up a lot of, a lot of wounds. And so, yeah, it's been, it's been really loud.

• 11:00Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, you you've been, you've been publicly really uh, transparent with people about anxiety. Um, and when you and I met, that was, I remember that was a big, almost, I will say, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, almost like part of your identity of like, I deal with anxiety. Um, how has it changed when you've gone into perimenopause? Like, it it, because I've seen your pattern of anxiety change over the last several years where it's gotten better. And you and I've had incredible conversations about how it doesn't show up as much anymore. And then if, you know, I think a lot of women, as you get deeper and deeper into perimenopause, the anxiety looks very different.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Yes, it does look different. I actually, in the past, I've not known where it's coming from sometimes. And now in perimenopause, I'm pretty clear about what's going on and where.

• 11:59Mindy Pelz?

  Where is it coming from?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  For from lack of, lack of progesterone, where my hormones are out of balance, when I haven't gotten enough sleep from lack of progesterone. Like, there are, there are, I have context around it, I think now. Um, there's a, to me, the anxiety can show up differently, especially when I haven't slept. Or if I am really low on progesterone, my body gets anxious, so there's like a buzzing that happens underneath, you know, the skin. That becomes more body anxiety than than worry anxiety. That's actually a good, if I think about it. My anxiety in the past has been more worry anxiety, um, where I couldn't control things and I was really afraid of like, you know, from a, again, a trauma response

• 12:43Speaker 01

  as of of things going wrong and that I couldn't like, I couldn't handle.

• 12:49Mindy Pelz?

  Yep.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  I couldn't handle more pain, enough pain. So I think that anxiety in the past was probably more worry um, and mental than now my anxiety when it shows up is more body anxiety. Um, and that can be super uncomfortable, super, super uncomfortable.

• 13:08Mindy Pelz?

  I think you, you know what, you bring up a really good point because we don't call, we don't look at brain and body anxiety differently. And I would absolutely say that when I went into perimenopause, that there was this body anxiety. For me, it showed up as like, I can't sit, I just couldn't sit and calm myself. Um, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even get my my, you know, I try, it was almost like I'd had ten cups of coffee. Like, I was trying to get to sleep and then your body just jolts alive. Yeah. So what, just so we, because I know a lot of people listening to this are gonna be like, I have that, I feel that, I see, I see myself in that.

• 13:48Mindy Pelz?

  As have outside of working with progesterone and getting good, the right prescription and doing all the lifestyle tools. Is there anything you can do in that moment that tends to help the body anxiety?

• 14:02Speaker 01

  That's a, I'm still figuring that out for myself, to be really honest. Um, because my, my body anxiety will show up. It'll show up midday, like you're saying, it feels like I've, I I always say it feels like someone's put me into the wall socket.

• 14:16Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  And it shows up when I'm traveling a lot, when I can't move on a plane. I do know one thing, and I know this sounds really simple, but it's true. Shaking your body and walking, like, if it's during the day, I find that if I go take a walk. Um, or I have a, I have a little rebounder, a trampoline, like, I love, that reminds me of being a kid and it is joyful, so I like go and bounce on it for five minutes, even just anything, anything to like get your body moving and to to move some of that, that energy. Um.

• 14:48Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Planking, squats, like, if you can't move out anywhere, like, if you're in one place, like, squats, jumping, jack, like, just move. Um, another thing, it shows up for me really early in the morning. I usually wake up around two thirty or three, three thirty, something around that that time. And I try, I try to lay there and like, and kind of breathe back to sleep sometimes, like this morning, I I I couldn't. And I just, I stopped fighting myself and I just get up and and start my day.

• 15:19Mindy Pelz?

  Get up and move.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Um, and I and I plan on, if I'm tired, that's another thing I've been really working on um, in in therapy. Because tired, tired energy to me has been, it feels like, um, it feels threatening. Because of how much I've had to constantly override that, that feeling in order to go work. And so I'm really trying to work on a new relationship with the energy of tired. And so I've, like, last night, I only slept five hours. I woke up at three o'clock this morning and I find, I knew I could not go back to sleep.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  My body was just so ready to get up. So I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna get up. And if I'm tired in the middle of the day, I'm gonna take a nap. So I've just like made a deal with myself, like, okay, we can get up now, but if we're tired later, we're not gonna fight through it, we're not gonna coffee through it, we're actually gonna go take a nap. So I think that that's really important.

• 16:20Mindy Pelz?

  I love hearing that because, you know, I always tell you, you, you know, you don't, you only know your life, right? You don't know what it's like to be in somebody else's childhood experiences, but yours was crazy unusual. And I've heard you tell stories before of like, at fourteen, how you have to get on a stage despite feeling horrible. You had to show up and perform. Um, I'm curious, that's what your nervous system knows. And what I know from a lot of women that go into perimenopause is those things we could tolerate and push through in our younger years um, become the things that all of a sudden we're like, we can't do this anymore.

• 17:01Mindy Pelz?

  Have you been able to change your schedule? Like, have you, have you been able to give your per, yourself permission to rest? Or is that still really hard in a LeAnn Rimes life?

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I mean, it's still hard. I have been juggling a lot of things currently. I'm, you know, touring, I'm working on a TV show. I'm, you know, writing and doing whatever else creatively that comes to mind. Um, but I, I do know there are limits, and that's, I think, one of the hardest things to admit.

• 17:33Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, it's so hard. Yeah, yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  You know, and I, as we're sitting here talking, I feel like it's this therapy for me because I, I really do, because I recognize some of this anger that we'll get into, um, that's really been showing up for me is when I have to override, when I'm exhausted, um, and I, I know better, like, I know better. And I, but I'm still doing it.

• 18:02Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  And I think, um, and I, we're getting there. I mean, I, look, when I, I come home, I do rest. I mean, there's no, like, I used to have a really hard time just laying on the couch and not doing anything.

• 18:14Mindy Pelz?

  Yep.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Um, and now I love laying on the couch and watching a TV show, like, I'm okay with that. So we've, we've made

• 18:21Mindy Pelz?

  That's a step forward.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Big strides, yeah.

• 18:23Mindy Pelz?

  That's huge.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  And resting, um, but, but I also have to say, like, I've, we, there's also been other parts of my health that have really played into I'm tired. Um, you know, my mitochondrial health, we've, I've been working on, um, and my gut health that I think was really, really, really bad at the beginning of this year that I worked on. And um, I feel like Having so a few other pieces of the puzzle have it has allowed, you know, me to to really help my body in other ways where, you know, where hormones may be fighting against me. Now I have have a little bit of control over here with

• 19:03Mindy Pelz?

  Right.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  You know, with some some other places where I can make some strides. And I think that's been helping my energy too. So I am, I feel, I actually, uh, uh, the crazy conundrum and weird like the economy of this whole thing is I actually don't feel bad. I feel

• 19:19Mindy Pelz?

  From a physical level or from a mental level?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  From a physical level.

• 19:22Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  I actually have more energy

• 19:25Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Recently than I've had in a really long time. Um, because I've taken care of these other pieces of my health.

• 19:33Mindy Pelz?

  So much.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Even though

• 19:34Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  The hormone situation is just up and down, you know?

• 19:38Mindy Pelz?

  Right.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  So, um, but I also, like you said, I also do know how, I do know how to rest. But though there are times when I just know my schedule is my schedule and and it's, it's when I've been doing it the way I've been doing it for so long, it's so hard to change. Even though, you know, I, I, look, I did five hundred shows in the first three and a half years of my career. So

• 20:01Mindy Pelz?

  That's crazy.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  We'd be lucky to hit sixty now. So it has changed, you know? Like things have changed.

• 20:08Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, yeah. And do you feel the pressure? You know, I think a lot of women feel the pressure to keep up with the pace of their younger self. I know, I know I did. I've, it's just taken, I mean, I'm fifty six and it's just recently taken me till now to tell my team, look, I can't do the level of work I used to be able to do. And, um, and, and mostly because when I push myself, there's like a tipping point. There's a point when the schedule gets so full that it tips me over and then the rage shows up, which we'll talk about in the moment. So I've learned to keep and curate my schedule in a way that just takes me right to that edge. But wow, that took many years to finally say,

• 20:53Mindy Pelz?

  guess what? I can't do the same pace. Are you, are you finding the same thing that you're having to verbalize? Like, I can't do as many shows. I, you know, I've watched you recently get sick and cancel shows.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:06Mindy Pelz?

  And as painful as that was, I've, I've never seen you make that decision so effortlessly before.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, it's hard. That's really, really hard, um, to have to cancel things. I feel gutted and just to disappoint people. Um, but when you're not well, you're not well. I mean, there's just, there's no way around it. And so

• 21:31Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Um, I have, yeah, I think it's a really hard one for me to come to terms with, although I am very aware of it, like I'm very aware. And I do things differently. And, you know, I have, I have great people around me who I have a wonderful manager in Daryl who in who you know, who is like, um, and a, and agents that really put people's health before, you know, before work and business and touring and, um, and I, I think having the right people to be able to verbalize this is how, you know, this is how I'm feeling and really be authentic and honest and, and

• 22:13Speaker 01

  have them support you is, is really important. I mean, I just did it with Eddie the other night. I just said, I don't have the capacity I have anymore. Like you used to have anymore. Like my capacity is dwindling and I feel like I'm doing more than ever now, because I'm also on top of, you know, when I travel, like I have a health bag that every, I, there's so, when you get older, like all of a sudden you need more things. And I'm like, and I, I've been, I've been dealing with acid reflux. So I've been like, I literally carry everything with me from coffee to, you know, humidifiers to pillows to like all the things. And I feel like I'm having, I can't just like delegate

• 22:53Speaker 01

  a part of my life. Like it's me that has to take care of it. And so I feel like there's just so much to take care of. And

• 22:59Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  And my capacity for everything is, is getting smaller.

• 23:06Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Um, yeah. And so

• 23:09Mindy Pelz?

  And I think that changes too. I just want to tell you that when, yeah, no, because because I'm, I'm in a process of rehabbing my nervous system right now. I'm very, very conscious of it. Um, but I also, as I take the time to just do a like three, two thirds of what I used to do, I can feel my strength, my, my moods, everything come back into balance. And you know, you look at people like Jane Fonda, Jamie Lee Curtis, like Julie Louis-Dreyfus, like people who are just killing it in that back half of their life. I think it's that perimenopause. They call it the zone of chaos. That is the moment where it is the hardest. And honestly,

• 23:53Mindy Pelz?

  um, I think it's, it, I think it's intriguing that we have so many celebrities that are standing up and sharing their, their journey because unfortunately you all were watching you go up and down in the public eye. Do you, have you noticed like Halle Berry and other people that are just standing out? Do you think it's harder to go through this experience as a celebrity?

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Oh, absolutely.

• 24:19Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I mean, to have people constantly commenting on the way you look or the way you've acted in some, you know, on something or, I mean, if somebody saw me go through the airport, it's somebody actually commented on my, a post the other day, oh, you look happier and healthier than when I saw you at LAX. And I literally went back to them and I was like, who looks happy and healthy traveling? And they were like, they were like, good point. I was like, hello.

• 24:45Mindy Pelz?

  Have they been to LAX?

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, what? Um, but it, I, I think it when, I can because you, you know, you're, I'm LeAnn Rimes, like I can't have a moment where I snap at somebody in the TSA line or I can't, you know what I mean? It's like, uh, everything becomes so much more of this bigger issue when it's, no, I'm just a woman who's in perimenopause, who doesn't want to be traveling right now. Like, you know, and so I think it's, and then, like I said, people constantly commenting on your appearance and, and aging. And I mean, that is a thing. And um, you know, if you do too much, then there's people commenting on that. If you do too little, there's people commenting on that.

• 25:25Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  If you, you know, I, I haven't done anything to my face and people are always like, oh my gosh, you know, not always. There's a few people I see will be like, oh, she's aged so, so, you know, not very gracefully. And I'm like, but this is what a normal face looks like. Like you're so used to seeing people with faces who don't move.

• 25:41Mindy Pelz?

  Yes, yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  I think people, we've gotten so skewed on, and even I, like I'm, you know, now on nine one one Nashville, I watch me on screen and like my, my face moves. There's other people's faces don't move. And I'm like, oh my God, I see wrinkles. And it's so hard not to judge yourself.

• 26:00Mindy Pelz?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I to, but I told you, I felt, I felt more connected to your character because I could, you know, you could see your facial expressions.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  And it's true. And I wouldn't want to take that away from me as an actress or as a performer on stage. You know, I mean, I want, I'm such an expressive human being and so emotional. And I wouldn't want that to not be able to come through. It's just part of what I use, you know, utilize in my job.

• 26:28Mindy Pelz?

  I want to invite you to something that I am crazy excited about. This October third and fourth, I'll be joining an incredible group of speakers at Empower Your Life, a live event at the Alex Theater in Glendale, California. We'll spend two days exploring health, personal growth, mindset, and practical tools to help you create meaningful change in your life. I'll be there alongside speakers like Suzy Orman, Jim Quick, Jamie Kern Lima, Brendan Bouchard, Nancy Levin, and many more. It's going to be an amazing weekend filled with learning, connection, and inspiration.

• 27:12Mindy Pelz?

  I'd love to see you there. I'd also love to give you a big hug. And you can grab your VIP or general admission ticket by visiting hayhouse.com forward slash Dr. Mindy. That's hayhouse.com forward slash Dr. Mindy. I can't wait to see you. Do you worry about aging? Do you fear like what happens? You know, I think a lot of, a lot of women are like, if I get wrinkles and I get gray hair and I start to look old, I'm going to be tossed aside. But you ten times that for a celebrity who, you know, will I become irrelevant? Will people not want to hear from me anymore? Or what kind of thoughts do you worry about when it comes to aging?

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean, all of that, uh, all of, all of what you just said, like, and also, you know, where and I feel like it's also what makes, I'm like, I'm not opposed, I see women getting facelifts and, and they look great. And they do it before and after, and I'm like, oh, I can see why someone would want to do that. And, and they look great. And I'm like, good for them. Like, I'm not, I, for me, it's to each their own. When it comes to things like that, and I'm not opposed to it, and I'm not also running out to do it either. So I, I think it just, i- it's just, uh, to me, aging is a day by day experience.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  And I'm never gonna say never on anything, because I don't know where I'm gonna, what I'm gonna feel, you know?

• 28:46Mindy Pelz?

  And how you're gonna, yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Five, 10 years from now, whatever it is. So, um, but as long as, I'm really, really understanding that, you know, phrase that we, we all say, like, you know, if you don't have your health and you don't have anything, it's like,

• 28:58Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  to me, ultimately, that's what, I, I just wanna feel good more than, I mean, looking good is, it used to be, it used to come first. And I think now it's, I just want to feel good. I'll take care of the look of everything after.

• 29:16Mindy Pelz?

  Later on, yeah.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  But like, the feeling good is so important.

• 29:21Mindy Pelz?

  I can see that.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, cause I've gone through so much of my life, and I'm sure a lot of people have, where we just don't feel good. Um, and when I feel good, like, everything else kind of falls into place.

• 29:34Mindy Pelz?

  I, a thousand, yeah, thousand percent agree with that. Um, you were recently interviewed, Maria Shriver interviewed you with, uh, it was a sweet interview, and I was so happy when you were, when you talked about the rage part of menopause. Yeah, and I, and I have some theories on why a lot of women are, and I just read a Time, I sent it to you, it's a Time Magazine article, that they're actually noticing that rage is a very, very common symptom in perimenopause, and they're trying to understand why. Can you help us, I, I'll share with mine, but let's start with you. How have you seen rage show up? And do you know what you're rageful about?

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Um, sometimes, I, um,

• 30:22Speaker 01

  I'm working through this in therapy right now. Um, and I, yeah, I, I, you know, the word resentment has been something that I've kind of lived on the outskirts of, it's like in my peripheral of, I know what it means, but I don't know that I, I hold it.

• 30:41Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  And I'm realizing I hold a lot of it. And it's, for me, it's, I mean, I can, I, if I really think about it, I resent my career, I resent my voice, I resent my family, I resent, you know what I mean? Like, I resent,

• 30:57Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  I, there's, I resent my health. I have resentment toward for, for lack, lack of health. Like, having psoriasis since I was two. Like, there's so many things if I think about, stop and think for a moment. Like, I've never,

• 31:13Speaker 01

  I, I've never allowed myself to be angry about these things. I've never, I was, ang- anger wasn't acceptable, you know, anger was in my household, and it, I was, I was always punished for, for being angry. And so, I hid my anger for so long, and, but now that it's come, it just, it just roars to the surface. And my poor husband.

• 31:39Mindy Pelz?

  Who's so sweet.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  He is, I love him to death, but he doesn't even know what to do with it. Like, he,

• 31:44Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  he's like, I don't even think you understand what your tone is right now. And it's, it's just this, I feel it as this, this literal fire that's like through the center channel of my body. And it can happen, it can happen in conversation, it can happen when I'm driving, it can happen when I'm sitting on the couch, and I literally just wanna tear the room apart for no reason. And I think it's because of, I haven't allowed this thing called anger to move through me ever. And so, it gets triggered by the slightest thing at this phase of my life. And so I have, I'm learning how to move it in, in a way that's not,

• 32:30Speaker 01

  um, that doesn't harm. And that's really hard, because the way I grew up around anger is anger harmed. So.

• 32:40Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, and, and,

• 32:41Speaker 01

  I'm sorry about that.

• 32:42Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, well, and, and we live in a culture where we don't want our women to be angry, and we definitely don't want our sweet little LeAnn Rimes, who at fourteen won two Grammys, we want you to be kind and sweet and not be angry. So I think, you know, I will continue to say to you, you deserve to rage, you know, you grew up in an environment where there was a huge expectation on you, in a world that already expects a lot from women. And on top of that, um, there's so many of us who have had to suppress our anger, because angry women are not what this society and culture knows what to do with.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  So I just, And I don't even think our, I don't even think our culture knows what to do with anger, period. Like, I just said, anger harms, like, and it does, in, in our culture, look at it, like, anger and rage, all we know how to do is move it in a direction of harm. And I think there's, there's gotta be another way. And I think that's what I'm trying to find for myself is, um, and when I, it's even, like, I'm learning it in relationship with my husband right now, cause I'm like, I'm not angry at you. And I know this, like, this tone triggers you, but like, go with me into this, like, allow me to have it, like, witness it, and know that it's not at you. You know, and let me, let me rage about whatever it is.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Just let me, let me take this tone for like, five minutes. Maybe that's what we need to do. I'm, I'm like, maybe we need to put like, five minutes on the timer and be like, let me just do this for five minutes, and then I'll come out of it. But it needs to go somewhere, because it's been literally internalized. That's why I have psoriasis, and that's why I'm dealing with acid reflux, and that's why I'm dealing with all the things, is because I've literally turned the fire inside myself. I'm very clear on that.

• 34:32Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. You know, when I fir- when I first met you, you were, I still think you're one of the kindest celebrities I ever met. Um, you're one of the most humble celebrities I've ever met. But, you know, I'd ask you about certain things, like, what was that like, growing up and doing this and this? You're like, oh, it was okay, it was okay. And I thought, girl, girl, you need to let that out. Like, like, the world hasn't always been incredibly kind to you. And you've been in the pu- you grew up in the public eye, and now you're doing perimenopause in the public eye. But I, I think for a lot of us, um, we don't have a relationship with anger and rage. And because the culture never taught us to do that. So, do you, are you able when you're raging?

• 35:14Mindy Pelz?

  Do you have a sense of what you're raging for? And what you're angry about? Do, does childhood memories?

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Sometimes, sometimes no, but a lot of the time, right now, a lot of my rage comes, is honestly coming out of, um, of my capa- my lack of capacity.

• 35:35Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  And, and the demand that is still placed upon me. Um, and the output that is needed. And the output that's been needed for so long. And that, the kid that couldn't say, no, I have a hundred and four fever and can't walk on stage tonight.

• 35:52Mindy Pelz?

  Right.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  You know, it's that, and that's the really hard thing, and that, that I'm trying to, like, pick apart, is what am I, what am I angry about now? And what, and what has been living in me that is showing itself on this, like, on this now reality? That's really, I'm angry about the fourteen year old, or the fourteen year old is angry. But I, but right now, whatever's presenting in front of me is what's triggering it. And so I, it's, sometimes it's really hard to pick apart, like, you know, am I angry from all those years ago, or am I actually angry in this moment?

• 36:33Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  And sometimes it's both.

• 36:35Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  You know, sometimes it can be both, but I think a lot of my anger is.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  God, it's just a woman who has to continue to produce.

• 36:44Mindy Pelz?

  Yes.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  In a time, in a time, in a time when I am, my body's stopping producing.

• 36:52Mindy Pelz?

  Right. Oh, my God, that's so ironic. I never thought about it that way.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Do you know?

• 36:56Mindy Pelz?

  I think a lot of women, I think a lot of women feel that way. I, I know, I felt like that. It was like, do I get to, when do I get to stop now? Like, can I just rest for a moment? And you've had, you know, ten times that kind of life. And I think one of the things that I want to offer hope to you and to the people listening is I do believe, now that I sit in the post-menopausal years, that that's part of the shedding. That there's this, I need to let go of the person I was to become a new version of myself. And I think what you're gonna find, just knowing how smart you are and how intuitive you are and your work with Frank,

• 37:35Mindy Pelz?

  um, is you're gonna find as you heal that little girl that wasn't able to rage for herself. You get to be the woman that gets to rage for her now. And then you get to move into a woman who's not rageful. And I think if we don't do that work, I think that's literally the purpose of perimenopause, is to sit in that trauma for all of us and feel what we have suppressed. So we can actually live in that third act of our life, the most authentic version of ourselves.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's just really uncomfortable.

• 38:16Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. It's like a detox. It's like a detox.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  It's so uncomfortable. And I, I mean, I get, like, I, I get why women want to escape this. Like, I get why addiction's probably very, very prominent and prevalent at, you know, this time in a woman's life. I get why, I understand why, you know, the suicide rate is so high. I get why people want out of this.

• 38:42Mindy Pelz?

  Um, yeah.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  And that's the, the hardest thing is like, is finding ways to, to soothe me that I know are actually healthy in this phase of my life. Um, you know, and I, I think about tired. I look, I see how many women push through every day on five coffees and, you know, and whatever else we're taking, you know, so and it's, it, there comes a time, and it's interesting, my body's actually done it for me. Because my health, like, when I think of, um, when I think of the acid reflux that I've been going through these past several months, um, I haven't been able to have a glass of wine.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  I haven't had wine in like four months, whatever it's been. Um, I've, you know, coffee, I've actually had to, I have coffee, but it's very low acid and I actually have to, um, cold brew it because it takes more acid out. So I, and I've, I've literally, because most, one of the things for me, if something's gonna affect my voice, um, I'll stop it. And sometimes it takes that, sometimes it takes my body, like, whittling everything down to this is literally gonna take this away. And I'll finally go, okay, I surrender.

• 40:01Mindy Pelz?

  You get motivated.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  I do, I get motivated. And I, and I, but it's really made me face like, oh, where are all the places? Like, I, I was drinking Celsius twice a day. And I was like, going for a glass and a half, maybe two glasses of wine, you know, most nights. And I was, you know, like for, and so I, I had to start, when you start taking those things away, a lot of things get loud, you know, and, and I'm realizing how much

• 40:29Mindy Pelz?

  It's true.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  probably anger I was suppressing with all of these stimulants or, or, you know, substances. Um, or, or depressants, exactly. So, um, and so, yeah, it's been new ways of soothing myself. Um, have, has, I'm still, I'm still finding them. Um, but yeah.

• 40:55Mindy Pelz?

  What's your experience with, with HRT, Ben? Because I think a lot of people listening, and I've been in so many conversations where when they hear symptoms or, um, like you're talking about, they think, well, just get on the patch. Why don't you just get on the patch and it'll all be better?

• 41:12Speaker 01

  I'm on the patch. I'm on the suppository. I'm on the pill. I'm on the everything.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, no, again, no, if it, if it's made, I've tried it. Um, I, yeah, that, that's just, no, no, every, and the thing is, is everybody's experience is different. Yes, it does help me. Um, it definitely helps. Um, but it's not the end all, you know, cure all to everything. You're still gonna have fluctuating hormones. Um, you know, some days, some days the patch, sometimes I have to use patch and gel because I don't make enough estrogen myself. Some days that's way too much because my ovaries all of a sudden decided to make estrogen again, you know? And it's, it's just this up and down. Um, and with progesterone, like, you know, I've had, I've had

• 42:02Speaker 01

  too much progesterone, makes me really, really depressed and lethargic, um, not enough progesterone, I can't freaking sleep. Like, it's literally, I remember my mother, and I, I actually should probably apologize to my mother.

• 42:14Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, you have empathy now. I do too.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  I remember when I was a child, you know, she had a hysterectomy right after I was, um, born. And she was in her early thirties. And, um, so she was constantly, all I heard in my childhood was like, they're trying to figure out hormones out. And I, she was constantly going to the doctor to figure out her hormones and change her hormones. And I'm like, what the hell is she doing?

• 42:35Mindy Pelz?

  Isn't that ironic?

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, now I like, I get it. And it's, it is, it is a moving, it's a moving target, especially in perimenopause. That's why I really honestly can't wait for post-menopause.

• 42:47Mindy Pelz?

  Yep, it's better.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  We know the dose.

• 42:50Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, right, exactly. It's really true. It's really true. Yeah. Do you think, how do you think your life would be, your symptoms would be different if you weren't touring and filming? Do you think it would be different if you were, like, sitting at home, playing tennis whenever you wanted to?

• 43:08Speaker 01

  I mean, like, I mean, who has that life? Anybody? God bless them if they do. Um, but I do think it would be different. I think we all have different stressors. I think mine, though, when, most people are sitting at, most people are, are positioned in one place, you know? And so, for me, the travel piece of it has, I'm really understanding like how much that affects. Um, I mean, just even a couple of hours, different eating windows, different, um, you know, traveling in different time zones and sleep and all of that just starts to affect. And then the demand of performance. Um, that is,

• 43:51Speaker 01

  yeah, that's, that's, it's a lot, it's a lot to psych myself up. But, I mean, people don't understand the, the, the drop of, of dopamine after a performance too, and the, the body discomfort. So not, already, I'm at such a deficit, um, with, when it comes to, you know, being a high performer and, and constantly having, traveling and having all of this different stimuli coming at me and then going and performing and being on a high and then dropping down the next day and then having to rev it up again. And so, um, my neurotransmitters are already on a different level of, of strange and, and out of balance.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  And so, and so then you throw, you know, a lack of hormones in there and then they start to go, really go haywire. So that's also something else I'm having to really pay attention to. Um,

• 44:44Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  is recognizing that that's another level for me.

• 44:48Mindy Pelz?

  I, my, my feeling on that is when we lose our hormonal rhythm that has been driving us since we were thirteen, we have to map to a different rhythm. And with the circadian rhythm issue, when you're going in and out of time zones, it's, there's no circadian rhythm to map to. This is why, right now, I'm like, I needed a year of not traveling to Europe or, or even traveling to the East Coast. I was like, I need to get my circadian, yeah, get my circadian rhythm. And then you have the performative rhythm where you have to rev yourself up, you perform, and then you gotta come back down. Um, but I think that's the key to perimenopause, is you've got to find another rhythm

• 45:32Mindy Pelz?

  that you can take your nervous system and anchor it to that. Um, and that's where the travel messes you up.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, if you could find an anchor for me, that would be great.

• 45:44Mindy Pelz?

  I'm, I'm, believe me, I'm thinking on it. I'm thinking on it.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  That would be great.

• 45:48Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. But it's, it, but it could be little things, like, like your dog. Your dog has a rhythm. She's, you know, so sweet and calm and you can go there and have calmness with your dog. Nature has a rhythm. This is why I think, you know, getting out and walking, even if it's in your neighborhood, your neighborhood's beautiful. Like, just, like, anything that is slow, what, one trick I learned recently over the last year is think about how quickly you move, how quickly you do the dishes, how quickly you walk, how quickly you get out of bed. And I've been trying to do everything slower and just bring it down so that my parasympathetic nervous system can realize it's safe again.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Yes, that is so challenging. I have to say, I, I've been doing that with food because of my, the, the acid reflux that I've been dealing with. Um, one of the things that I've noticed ever since I was a kid, because I've been literally putting, shoving food in my mouth, like, on the go, ninety percent of the time, um, I eat so fast. And so I have literally, You know, and the the craziest thing is that it is so hard to put a plate of food down in front of myself and literally sit and breathe for three breaths. I do that.

• 47:08Mindy Pelz?

  Oh, that's so good.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  It is so hard to have food in front of me and not just wanna shove it in my mouth. It is crazy, the automatic response of like, I gotta scarf this down. So I've been stopping and breathing for three breaths. And saying, thank you for this food and then like slowly taking my time to eat now. Does that happen all the time? No, cuz I'll catch, I'll literally catch myself halfway through the meal going, oh, my god. I did it like, I I literally just went right in and so it's it's it just shows you like what you're saying, like how fast we move in, don't even think twice about it until for me, something as disrupting as, you know, my stomach being so upset that it ruins my day. That finally, I'm like, oh, I have I have to slow down when I eat.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  And so I just even in that part of my life has been so challenging. I can only imagine, and which is probably something I need to try and incorporate is like moving a little slower through things.

• 48:06Mindy Pelz?

  It's funny, it's like you're, it's like you're training a little kid. You know, your nervous system's like a little kid that you're like, you're like, okay, we're safe now. We don't need to keep hurrying. Um, I've even like, I I'll wash the dishes slowly. A big one that I started doing is when I get out of bed in the morning. I don't jump out of bed. I purposely roll on my side really slow and get out and I tell myself it's, you know, you're safe. I have to constantly tell myself, you're safe. This is you, today's gonna be a good day because my nervous system was so far through the perimenopausal experience. So far in frazzled that it was like that last piece I had to train

• 48:49Mindy Pelz?

  to bring it back into a rhythm, you know, rhythm and like bring it back into a rhythm that it my nervous system could finally relax. And I honestly think that's where you're going to find as you go deeper into this perimenopausal experience. That's what you're gonna find is the missing piece. Now, how do you do that in a LeAnn Rimes life?

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Well, no, that's really interesting because I have intuitively been thinking to myself, I need to give myself an extra twenty minutes to get somewhere. Or I need to, if I know it's gonna take me an hour to get ready, I need to add an extra, I need to start twenty minutes sooner. Like, because I just don't, but it's, it is a, um, you know, I've been, yeah, it it is something that I think my body in my mind had intuitively wanting to do. It's just, again, making that change. I started to do it with food. It's one, one little thing at a time, right? So, um, but I I think my body is calling for that.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  And it's interesting with rhythm, like even though I travel on different time zones, um, I'm really protective of my sleep, um, even though I don't get it often.

• 50:07Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, you go to bed at eight o'clock at night.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  I do, I go to and my, my stepsons make fun of me. They're like, oh, you guys are already in bed at eight. I'm like, well, if you, one day, one day, maybe you'll understand. Um, but it it is, I I just, um, it's not, and it's funny cuz it's like they equate that with like, oh, you, it's an old, old people thing. And I'm like, no, it's a smart people thing.

• 50:30Mindy Pelz?

  Right.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  I'm not stupid anymore.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  I don't wanna be a partying, I'm not dumb anymore. Um, so I I think I do try and keep to a consistent rhythm of sleep. Even, you know, on show days, it, you know, that's the hardest thing is to go to sleep really late. But, um, when I, when it's not a show day, like I try to, I really try to stay with some kind of of schedule. Um, it's like a baby, you're, you're right. It's like, it's like sleep training a child. We're sleep, we're literally like reverting back. We're sleep training ourselves again.

• 51:02Mindy Pelz?

  I've actually, I've actually, like in the morning when I meditate, I think of my little girl next to me. And I've like, I talk to her a lot and I'm like, when, cuz I've been doing a lot of therapy too and healing her wounds and I find the deeper I go into the healing, the better my menopausal experience got. And so I almost, I saw somewhere like be the woman who your little girl needed to protect her, you get to be that woman now. And when I thought about my myself from that lens and how I didn't feel hurt as a child and how I felt helpless and trying to please all the adults around me. It it was really powerful to think about like holding her and like loving her.

• 51:47Mindy Pelz?

  And and just sitting with her and I hear you now, you can express what you need to express. Like I have spent so much time with, and I, the, the little girl I visualize is about a six year old.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  Mm hmm, that's where, that's usually where mine is too, around that age.

• 52:04Mindy Pelz?

  You understand that you, there are ways that you are being that is not acceptable to the people around you and they're expressing that to you. And when it's the people who love you, you start to realize, oh, my god, I better change myself so I get love. And like, like one, one thing that I'm dealing with right now is that I I have a lot of emotions and that was not really welcomed in my family. And everybody was always like, ah, Mindy's so emotional. And so I learned to go into my room and just be by myself. So at fifty six years old, like I'm learning how to be emotional in an appropriate way.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  When I first met you, you're like, I don't really cry. I don't, I'm really, I'm not, I'm not really emotional. I'm like, what do you mean you don't cry, cry all the time? So we're just like, these two opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to like showing emotion, which is so funny. But it's when you, when I just circle around, back around to resentment and anger. What you just said about I get to take care of my child. I am so exhausted that I, I I think there's a piece of me that just wants someone to take care of me. Because I am so tired cuz I have taken care of myself for so long.

• 53:31Mindy Pelz?

  For twelve years old.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, so long that I'm like, can someone please just send, someone please take care of me? I don't, I don't even have the energy to take care of my own child. It's, you know, when I was on the Marie, Maria Shriver thing, we were talking about, you know, at choosing to have kids or not have kids. And I I love, I've loved having my stepsons in my life. They, it's been so rewarding, but so many people are like, why didn't you have your own kids? Because I'm fucking tired. I can't take care of it. I can't birth something and ta, you know what I mean? Like, I, I was too busy taking care of myself and then I had these beautiful stepkids in my life that I got to help take care of. But, but to, to, it was, it was literally because I'm, I'm exhausted.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  And so I, I, and that's also kinda sad for me because I know I would have probably had kids of my own if I wasn't tired.

• 54:25Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm going through that thought process with you, yeah.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  And that's also something in perimenopause, they don't talk to you about. They don't talk to you about the grief around that. Oh, I mean, I've been going through a shit ton of

• 54:37Mindy Pelz?

  Because a lot, yeah, because you can't, now you can't have kids and a lot of women who haven't had kids. Yeah, that really, I I never thought about that. What does that feel like?

• 54:45Speaker 01

  God, it, I have moments where I just start bawling and I'm like, I'm so sad that I want you to see a kid that looks like me. And, you know, and then, and then like literally five minutes later, I'm like, I'm good. I'm good.

• 54:59Mindy Pelz?

  That would've been a lot of work.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  I remember why I didn't birth a child. Um, yeah, and and something triggers me and I'm like, oh, yeah, that's why. Um, but I, I think that there is so much grief around all the pieces of us. Not only that, but all the pieces of us, we didn't get to, to be or to experience or to live out, to express.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  When we could have been experiencing those things, whether it be because of trauma or because we were told that it wasn't acceptable or whatever it is. I think there, there's so much grief around that. And also, really, that's, if you really think about it, that's what's underlying all the rage. I mean, there's just

• 55:39Mindy Pelz?

  Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  A ton of grief.

• 55:42Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, I think that's, I really do think that's why this is becoming the number one symptom for women is because we're grieving old identities. We feel like we were never given a choice in who we wanted to be. This was the whole premise of Age Like a Girl is like, you get to be who you want to be now. And for you specifically, you, people, it was chosen for you. And that gorgeous voice of you, of yours and, you know, thank god you went on the trajectory you did. So many of us have benefited from it, but you didn't get to choose. And now you do get to choose. And I'm curious if you go, as you go deeper into perimenopause, how you choose differently?

• 56:28Mindy Pelz?

  Like, I know you're acting now, um, and if, if you could give a crystal ball of what you might do in the next decade, how do you think you'll choose differently?

• 56:38Speaker 01

  I don't, that's been really coming up for me, um, and I don't know. Um, I actually have, I haven't actually said this out loud, um, but sometimes it's something I'm really understanding that sometimes the resentment toward my career, my voice is because I feel like I'm in this relationship that I know is not healthy for me, but I can't get out of it.

• 57:01Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Um, and so

• 57:04Speaker 01

  What that looks like to choose differently because I don't wanna, I love what I do like I love to. I love to connect with people more than anything and it's always been through this. Thing that's right here, you know, that is how I've been able to connect and. Um, I know there are many other ways I like I've spent. The last decade really kind of like. Diversifying my voice, you know, of of how do I, you know, it. Coming on here, talking to you or going to and speaking somewhere. Have I had a podcast for a while like, I mean, there's so many things that I can do. Um, that it will be interesting to see what I do.

• 57:40Mindy Pelz?

  Um, and but.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  No, yeah, but it's, it's. It all has to be authentic for me like it, I can't just be about a business decision of like, oh, I now wanna. Yeah, let me, let me go do these really strategic things because I, I wanna get off the road or. Uh, it, it, it has to come from a place of honesty and so it's, um. It, it, I don't know what that looks like yet, um, but it is something that is. Percolating, um, and I have started to, you know, it's been so nice to, to be. To go and do something new with acting and not have to tour all the time, um, and then when I go to where I'm actually enjoying. Those shows more because I'm not doing five million of them, um, so.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  And I'm getting to stretch myself and learn new things at this age, which is rare, um, for someone who's been doing it as long as I have, so I think. I think for me, it's all about when it comes to creatively, it's just. I, I've started. And this has been the last couple, maybe two or three years of my life, I've started to really go toward like, where am I scared? And what stretches me because I'm too. I'm too like, I, I know, I know I can now deal. Like there's, there's not a piece of me that's afraid to be seen in failure or afraid to be seen learning, um. Uh, I think there, there used to be a huge piece, it's like, I don't want anybody to see my.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Uh, to see my process, I want you to see the finished product, right? And I think that's the thing about perimenopause too, it's like, you're gonna see my process. You're gonna see the whole thing and I think that that's to. It's uncomfortable to be witnessed in all these places where we. Have not allowed ourselves to be witnessed before, um.

• 59:32Mindy Pelz?

  Things are so well said.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  It is, I mean, and I'm learning it, I'm doing it when I act, I'm doing it when I. Perform on stage and like really let people see. All that's going on inside of me instead of just like walking on stage and being like, look, yeah, I'm feel great today, you know, um, so I think. It's, um, yeah, I just, I don't have time, I don't have time to limit myself in that way anymore.

• 59:57Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. If you are loving the conversations on my podcast and you wanna go deeper with me, come join me over on Substack. It's where I share the conversations I'm having behind the scenes. The research that I'm obsessed on and paying close attention to. And really the thoughts I don't always get to unpack here on the podcast or any of my other social media. We're taking women's health, fasting, hormones, food systems, mindset, aging. And what it really means to live like a girl in today's world to a whole new level.

• 1:00:34Mindy Pelz?

  You'll also get early podcast access, deeper essays on my thoughts around how we can all stay healthy in this modern world. You get community, you get conversations and exclusive content that I only share there. I'm not joking when I said this is my new favorite place, it is currently where I am at. So you can head on over to substack dot Dr. Mindy Pelz dot com. Or just search live like a girl with Dr. Mindy Pelz directly in the Substack app. I'm super excited to have you over there, please introduce yourself. And let's dive in to some really good conversations.

• 1:01:17Mindy Pelz?

  I think, I think a lot of women would resonate with this because. We get so much as women, we get so much self-worth from. Um, being a mother or from being the helper of the family or, you know, having a career. And we don't even realize that that became an identity and a badge of honor. And what's the most humbling part that I think about perimenopause is that some of us will look at that. And say, hmm, I don't, I don't wanna be that person anymore. And you know, that's really hard, that's, there is grieving that is actually required in that process.

• 1:01:58Mindy Pelz?

  And I think it's appropriate, I think there's rage and there's grief and then there's a rediscovery. So, and then you get to know yourself anew, there's sort of a blank space, this is what I will tell you because I've been in this process. You go, I don't wanna be this anymore and you put that down. And then there's emptiness and that is scary. And all of a sudden, the things you start saying to yourself of like, do I matter and? How do I contribute to this world and what makes me happy? All of that shows up, but then it's a liminal space because then you start to. Make new parts of you and they fit better.

• 1:02:39Mindy Pelz?

  So what I'm really curious that will happen with you is you have so much identity in that beautiful voice of yours. And what if, and I don't wanna upset your, your fans, but what if at some day you decide? You don't wanna keep up with that anymore and you put that down, you know, who is, who's LeAnn Rimes then?

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  I, if you would have asked me that five years ago, I would, that would, that would terrify me. Um, but I reckon, I real, I know I have so much to give past that, like that's, um. Yeah, there's way. Too much in this human that, that it can be expressed, um. That's just one way that I do it really, really well, um, but and.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and there might be moments that I do put it down more than others, but I, I really. I don't see myself not communicating through it in some way, it just might not look. The way people expect it to sometimes, I mean, you know, I would go into a chant record and go. Sing with a bunch of candles in a church and people are like, I didn't expect that, like, you know what I mean, like, so I, it's. It, that's the fun part for me is like, I love to do things that are unexpected, um.

• 1:04:03Mindy Pelz?

  And surprise people.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  For myself too, yeah, cuz I get bored.

• 1:04:07Mindy Pelz?

  And see what you're capable of, I, I've, I've watched that in you, you like to challenge yourself, see what you're capable of. I mean, this nine one one Nashville was a good example of that. And talk a little bit about that because a lot of women are reinventing themselves. And I think it's easy to go, oh, well, LeAnn Rimes decided that she, she would go deeper into acting now. But I, I saw parts of you that was, that you were fearful, can you talk a little bit about that?

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, terrified, still am, we're about to start season two and I'm still terrified, um. But it's, but it's a different level this time around, I'm like, I'm a little bit more comfortable and. Again, I, I go back to, I was so afraid of people seeing me quote unquote fail, um. And the ju, there's nobody who judges themselves when it comes to their art and craft more than there would be. Me, you know, so I was actually avoiding myself to be honest. Um, and I think maybe if people take a long hard look at why they don't do things, it's probably the same. Reason, um, it's not really that they're afraid of what other people will say, it's their inner critic and we're trying to like silence that.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Demon inside, that's what it feels like, and so, um, I've had to just, I, I went in with the. Just idea that I was gonna learn something new every time I did it and I did, I did, I, I, there were moments where I felt. Totally out of place in that I was, I was terrified and I, there was one time. I was supposed to. Start, I was, I started this scene crying and I could not get there and I literally had a fucking breakdown. I walked out and I was like, the, I was like, grabbed the director and I'm like, I don't know what to do, I can't get there, I've never been able to not cry in my life, I don't understand. And, and finally, like he's, I'm like, okay.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna go in there and I'm gonna not cry and I'm going to do it and we're gonna continue to do it until I get there. And so, and we did, I just finally was like, I'm just gonna go, I gotta, I've gotta go start somewhere.

• 1:06:10Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, I like that, I like that. That's key, start somewhere.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  Somewhere, and so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna just start wherever I am right now and we'll, we'll just keep working there till I get there. And then once, that was like the second episode that I, that I went through this and once I got that out of my system. Then everything was fine. It was just like I needed, I actually had to work through some of these things. That I've never had to work through before, I, and I'm sure I did when I was fourteen, thirteen, fourteen, but I don't remember that. I don't remember working through it as a kid, but as an adult, there's so much more. Stress and, you know, and demand and judgment and everything that you're. To me, I really, I had to take these new moments and really work through them with myself.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  And also ask for help and tell people, hey, I'm new at this, can you help me like, I, and so I think. It's, yeah, it was, it was a terrifying experience at the beginning and now I feel like I've made so many great friends and I. Have collaborators and I can lean on people and we, we, you know. For me, I've been an only child in a, in a world where making an album, yes, it's a collaboration, but it's mine. You know, it's not, and now I'm here, I'm walking into a show where I'm like a sibling, I have siblings and we're gonna collaborate as a family, I'm like, wait, what, what's this? And so even just that aspect terrified me.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  I was like, I have to get along with, I have to get along with people, we have to work, you know what I mean, like, I have to work together, what do you, like, the relationship piece like actually scared me too. So, um, yeah, so I, I get it, I get where women would just. Be terrified, you know, and, and let that fear, um.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Stop them from doing something that they really desire to do, but I think, I think if we move with it, like allow the fear to be there and be with us. Like, do it anyway and fear come along with me. And then I've learned if I can just verbalize, this is what I'm feeling. This is what I need help with. How can you help me? You know, I think it becomes just a much easier way to navigate, you know, something new. And then we come out on the other side like a whole new person because we just learned this new skill.

• 1:08:27Mindy Pelz?

  Yes. Well, that's what I was thinking. I did, I did a ton of research on adversity for Age Like a Girl. And there's actually when you come up against something that you're scared of, or you come up against something that's difficult. If you stick with it and you overcome it, it actually grows part of your prefrontal cortex. The part of the brain that houses actually resilience. Part of the brain that gives you creativity and helps you achieve more goals. It's, it's like the crowning jewel of the human brain is your prefrontal cortex. It's also ironically, the part of the brain that starts to decay and go away when we go into menopause because it's bathed with all these estrogen receptors.

• 1:09:13Mindy Pelz?

  So I actually have come along this path, this idea that I think it's really important for us to try on new identities, to butt up against fear and overcome it when we're in our menopausal years. Because you're growing yourself a healthier, happier, wiser brain. So I, I think it's really beautiful what you did. And I'm curious if you could even put feeling to it, like for people who are like, I'm gonna go back in the workforce and I don't know, I'm scared. Like, talk about the woman that actually got on to nine one one, faced her fears, and is now having a different relationship. Um, compared to the woman who was just gonna try to get on that show.

• 1:09:56Mindy Pelz?

  What is, is there pride? Is there, um, what is the feeling?

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  I'm just so, yeah, I'm really proud of myself. And I get excited to, I love learning new things. I mean, you know this about me. I'll, if I, if I want to learn something and study something and something interests me, like I'll go down a rabbit hole. And, um, I, I really am so proud of myself. And now I'm on this second season, like I'm now taking, like when I look at a scene now, I'm looking at it in a little bit of a deeper level. Cause I've got this, I've got this like surface level skill, like pretty, pretty good. I've got it down. So now I'm like being able to go into it on a deeper level. And when I think about it, when I look at my trajectory as a kid in music, like that's, you know, I'm just starting this trajectory in acting like way later, but it's very similar.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  I just didn't realize it was happening as a child. And so now, you know, as an adult, I'm really, I'm truly getting to experience and witness like all the different shifts and changes. And I'm, and I'm aware that they're happening, you know, that have an awareness around it. And it's actually really cool to, to watch an adult learn. It's like, you know, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you can. Um, and if you're, if you're willing to just be a little uncomfortable. Um, but it's, it's so, um, rewarding and it's so fulfilling.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  Even if nobody watched it, like I would just be so happy that I did that for me. And, cause I've spent years and years and years like holding myself back from doing so many things out of fear. And so, that is one beautiful thing, I think about, you know, perimenopause is that we might have, we might have all these uncomfortable feelings, but at least like some of the give a shit meter like goes away. It does. You just want, I, I think, I think I really, I love feeling proud of myself. I love, I love, you know what I mean? Like I just.

• 1:11:58Mindy Pelz?

  Self-pride is the best.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. Cause I, I feel like I only feel that now when I, when I'm challenging myself or learning something new. Because I've been doing what I've been doing for so long that everything, nothing's really exciting. It's like, oh, this is cool. Like I love what I do. This is all cool. But like, what excites me is when I know I've, I've just challenged my own, you know, boundary. And I've, I've maybe like expanded my world a little more.

• 1:12:26Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. And I think, again, this, this is why I look at that perimenopausal years as a transition. Because if going back to where we started, which is the rage and the unpredictable moods. If you can look at it like it's a coat you're taking off. And you're like, I'm gonna put this down so I can make room for new activities and new versions of me. And if I'm willing to go through that process and then step over into fear and uncertainty and keep moving forward, the self-pride, the confidence, the clarity, that, that is key. That is where you start to live the happiest life ever in the back half.

• 1:13:07Mindy Pelz?

  This is why you see Jane Fonda, who's just at eighty is so exuberant. Because she, you know, she's not, I love listening to her talk. She's not like the activist she was. She has a different form of activism now. And I think what happens to us in our younger years is we cling to those identities for love. But then when we go through perimenopause, we're, we're offered an opportunity to let them go and do the things that make us love ourselves.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Interesting. I was gonna, as I'm listening to you talk, the thing that comes up for me that I'm sure a lot of women will relate to is, but will those, these new pieces that I try on be loved, be loved? I think that's the scariest thing. And I, I look at it in my, I look at it in my career. It's like I try on something new and people sometimes, it's, it's not as commercially successful as something else. But I'm like, but when I, when I, when I equate it to that, I'm like, but I really love me and I really enjoyed doing that. So I think if, if, I think it's so much harder for me though, sometimes to take that over into like my personal life. Because it is for most people.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  Um, and I, but it is, it is a process and I, I do think, I think that's where that self-love piece comes in of like, but I have to love, I have to love those versions, you know, first.

• 1:14:33Mindy Pelz?

  First, yeah. And I honestly think there's, there's nothing more lovable than a person who's congruent with themselves.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Oh, for sure. For sure.

• 1:14:43Mindy Pelz?

  It, it's when you're authentically joyful, you're authentically showing up the way you want to show up, not because other people, that is the most attractive human on the planet. And, um, I really, to answer your question, you will be loved. In fact, you'll be even more loved, I'm sure, because the new version of you will be, people will see the old version there. It's not like you're letting go of that version, but they will see this evolution of the LeAnn Rimes that they've loved. And, um, it'll inspire others to do the same. I really do think. So I'm gonna answer that question for you.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  Okay. I'm on the path. I'm there. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. But when you, when you're in the throes of it, I mean, that's the, those are the questions that come up, you know? And, um, I say, God, Mindy, thank God you're, thank God you're a few years ahead of me. So that I have a wise woman to guide me because I am, I am in need. I, I think we all are. So I'm so grateful for you.

• 1:15:47Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, I'm so grateful for you. You're the one, I have to let everybody know, you were the one that told me to read the crone. And I was like, are you calling me old? Why are you telling me to read the crone? And then you said, no, do you know what crone means? I was like, so like, I didn't know how to take it. I'm like, oh God, am I there? Is that what it looks like to you?

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  No, you're not there. You're not there. When I think of, when I think of crone, I think of like a much older, like I think of my godmother who just passed away. She was ninety-six. And to me, I mean, when I think of crone years, like I really think of like that really back half of our life. And I, that's like, to me, there's, I can't, that, that will be, I can't wait to that age. Cause I do feel like there's this like, like quiet power there, you know? I look forward to it.

• 1:16:38Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. Well, you taught me that crone means crown. And so then I was like, oh, okay. I can put my crown on. That works for me.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:16:46Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah. So, yeah. Okay. Well, I adore you and I just, I love, I really, I really, I just want to honor how transparent you show up. I think that is really hard, uh, with somebody in your public, uh, spot. And it's, it's so attractive and it's what people love about you and you have such a big heart, it's as big as your voice. And so thank you for constantly showing us what it looks like to live a normal life in an abnormal environment.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Thank you very much. Yeah. I, I always love coming on and talking to you. And, um, I always, I always think before I come on here, because I know, I, I'm already an open book, but I know when I'm talking to you, it's literally like you will get the deepest, darkest places in me. And to come out. And so I was thinking, okay, okay. I know, I know I'm gonna go there. So we did, which was fun. I enjoyed it.

• 1:17:44Mindy Pelz?

  Awesome. Awesome. Okay. Well, I have to, I have to ask you the, the last question of my new podcast name. And it's funny that I'm asking you this because you asked me one time, when do I get to be a woman? Why are you always writing these like a girls? So here's, here's what I'm gonna, and I laughed. I was like, it's a whole theme. It's a whole theme. So I'm gonna ask you, in light of our conversation today, um, what does living like a girl mean to you?

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Um. At this point in my life, it's allowing all of my pieces to come forward and to live in a way that I, that our society has never allowed for us to be. Um. Yeah, and it's, it's triggering as all get out, um, to me and everyone else. And I think that's the whole point.

• 1:18:50Mindy Pelz?

  Yep, yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna send you, I'm gonna send you a commercial, I forgot to send this to you. That was a Super Bowl commercial about 10 years ago. And it was for a Tampax, like a feminine care company. And they did a whole thing on living like a girl and how like a girl became derogatory statement.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:12Mindy Pelz?

  And so a huge part of what I want to do with this podcast is make it normal because we are living differently.

• 1:19:20Speaker 01

  It's so funny, I'm actually about my, where I just read the first script, um, of, uh, of, uh, the new, the new season of 911 Nashville and one of the lines that I say and it is you something like a girl. And I laughed because I think of you every time I say that and how, how we use it in this as a derogatory statement when it's not. At all.

• 1:19:44Mindy Pelz?

  Maybe you need to get the, the right, you've done some amazing things over there. Maybe you need to get the writers.

• 1:19:48Speaker 01

  My, no, my character, trust me, my character, my character would not be kind.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  My character is not kind, therefore, therefore I have to roll with it on that one.

• 1:20:00Mindy Pelz?

  That's amazing, that's amazing. Where can people find you? Because this will come out in a couple of weeks and you're doing something special with your tour right now.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  Yes, we, well, yeah, we're celeb, I just celebrated actually, um, a few days ago, the 30th anniversary of the actual release of The Blue Record. And so we are out right now with the 30th anniversary of Blue Tour and, um, yeah, you can find me at leannrimes.com or I'm on Substack, which we've been having so much fun with. You and I both have been on our Substack, um, and then of course all over socials. But yeah, leannrimes.com is my website.

• 1:20:36Mindy Pelz?

  Amazing. And if you guys haven't heard her in person, go. It is, it's quite, it's quite an experience. So, um, it's not that I'm biased or anything. I literally, like, like, I just, I love it so much. You are one of my favorite musical artists to listen to live. It's, your, your voice is just piercing. And, uh, I remember the first time I heard you live, I was like, what was that? What came out of your mouth? That was just crazy. So, um, everybody should go hear you. So,

• 1:21:06Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:21:06Mindy Pelz?

  So, yeah, I love you, my friend, and thank you for all of this and.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, this was so fun, as always.

• 1:21:12Mindy Pelz?

  Yeah, awesome, awesome. I'll see you later.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 1:21:17Mindy Pelz?

  Thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. I love bringing thoughtful discussions about all things health to you. If you enjoyed it, we'd love to know about it. So please leave us a review, share it with your friends and let me know what your biggest takeaway is.