3 Steps to Master Your Craft and Make More Money | Ed Mylett

What if the real reason you’re not where you want to be isn’t a lack of talent… but the habits, thoughts, and standards you’ve been tolerating? In this mashup episode, I’m bringing together some of the most powerful minds in personal development and performance to challenge the way you think about growth, discipline, and what it actually takes to win in your life. You’re going to hear from Eric Thomas, James Clear, Jim Kwik, Alan Stein Jr., David A. Arnold, and Jay Shetty as we break down the hidden patterns that either elevate you or quietly destroy your potential. Eric Thomas brings the fire and reminds you that average effort will always produce average results, and that your level of commitment is the ultimate separator. James Clear simplifies success in a way that will change how you approach your daily habits and routines. Jim Kwik shows you how your brain is your greatest asset and how unlocking it can accelerate everything in your life. And Alan Stein Jr. gives you the discipline and standards required to perform at an elite level when it matters most. But this episode is not just about performance. David A. Arnold and Jay Shetty take us deeper into the human side of growth. They talk about self-awareness, identity, and the internal conversations that shape your reality. Because the truth is, your external results will never outperform your internal belief system. If you don’t fix what’s going on inside, nothing outside will ever fully work. Throughout this entire conversation, I keep coming back to one principle that I believe with everything in me. Awareness is power. Once you become aware of what’s holding you back, whether it’s your habits, your mindset, or the standards you’re accepting, you can finally take control and start making changes that actually stick . This is about raising your identity, raising your standards, and becoming the person your dreams require. Key Takeaways: Why your daily habits are either building your dream or silently destroying it The difference between being interested and being truly committed to your goals How to reprogram your mind to work for you instead of against you Why discipline and standards matter more than motivation The hidden role self-awareness plays in long term success How your identity shapes every result you get in life The simple shifts that separate high performers from everyone else I want you to walk away from this episode with one question in your mind. Are your current habits, thoughts, and actions aligned with the life you say you want? If the answer is no, then today is your opportunity to change that. You don’t need more time. You need more intention. Let’s get to work. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Good times mean competitions between you and your friends, like seeing who can throw some pigskin the farthest or rush the field the fastest. Winner gets an Ultra. Because it's not just a superior-like beer, it's also giving fans superior access to their favorite sporting events. Superior is worth playing for. Visit michelobultra.com/superioraccess to enter. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser-Busch InBev Michelob Ultra Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.

• 1:36Ed Mylett?

  This is The Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow The Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back, everybody. I love doing the Max Out Program 2.0. And today, I can't wait to share with you what I call the three steps of mastery. See, there's three stages that you have to go through in order to master something in life. And oftentimes, we quit in the first stage because we don't realize it's just a natural progression to getting good at something. And so, in any pursuit you have, if you want to start a new business, a new career, you want to learn to swim. Like, right now, I'm picked up the hobby of riding horses. And that's a unique thing to do at 50 years old.

• 2:22Ed Mylett?

  And so, I'm addicted to it, but, so it's kind of a new pursuit of mine. So whether you started a new business, or you're in the middle of a business you've got, or you've got people in your business who are newer, or you're trying something new, it's very easy to beat ourselves up or really not understand that there are three stages of mastery. And, and it's just mandatory, you're going to go through them. You can't cheat the system. And so, in the three stages of mastery, let me tell you what they are. And then I'll break them down for you. There's the awkward stage at anything you begin to do, the awkward stage. And if you do enough repetitions, you can move to what I call the mechanical stage. And then from the mechanical stage, eventually you move to what I call the natural stage. Everybody looks at you and goes, "Ah, man, you're incredible, you're a natural."

• 3:03Ed Mylett?

  Like, whatever you do for a living right now, if you've been doing it for a long time, the first day on your job, I guarantee you, you were awkward. I guarantee you, everything about it was awkward. Where to go, the people's names, what to call things, where to, all of it was completely awkward, wasn't it? You probably even, a lot of people, their first night at their job, they'll have a nightmare that night. I remember, my first job was, I was a busboy at the Whole Enchilada Restaurant. And I didn't know, my big job at the Whole Enchilada was really simple. I cleaned up your table and I brought you your chips and salsa. That's really the whole job. And for some reason, at 17 years old, it freaked me out. Because I had to walk up to people's tables and say hello, and I'm a super introvert. And I remember going home that first night, I go, "I can't do this. It's just too mu- it's too much for me. Chips and salsa?

• 3:48Ed Mylett?

  Cleaning up their table?" It just overwhelmed me, which is pretty hilarious. And I had a nightmare that night, like a nightmare of the job. Like everyone wanted new chips. We need more salsa. We need more chips. And he was like, I gotta, you gotta clean up our table. You live. And I have this horrible nightmare of this very, pretty simple job that I had. And so what I was, I was in the awkward stage of that job. And if you'd have come back about six weeks later, I'd bust a bunch of tables. Now I know where the salsa is. I know where to go in the back and get the chips. I know where they warmed them. I kinda got my little, how are you guys this evening? I'm Eddie, you know, I got my little rap down. It was mechanical. I knew the mechanics of it, but still I was slower than most. I couldn't carry the drinks and the chips on the plate the right way, but I, you know what I mean?

• 4:32Ed Mylett?

  Like, it was mechanical. I knew the mechanics. I know where to clock in and. But he came back a year later, man. I was natural. I'm flipping chips. I'm spinning them on my head. I'm the difference. You know what I mean? Like the salsa, hey, good morning. Good to see you. Good evening. Hey, Mr. Jones, welcome back. I'd seen all the, I was natural. So you walked in there, I was like, this guy's a natural busboy. Well, the truth is that's true in everything. Right now, I started to learn to ride horses, right? First day out there, you don't think about these things. I'm like, what type of horse is it? I didn't even know the breed. I didn't even know the word. What do you call a female horse? What's a bridle? What's a halter? How do you put a saddle on them? What side do you get on the horse? The left or the right? How do you get off?

• 5:14Ed Mylett?

  The reins? Are you riding Western or English? I'm like, I have no idea. I guess Western. I was totally awkward and people that are horse people, they're just like, it's all natural to them, right? They get on the horse, they ride, they saddle it up. How do you back it up? How do you stop it? Like, it's crazy, right? But now I've been doing it for like, I don't know, six months. I've ridden quite a bit. And now I'm kinda mechanical. I know how to put the bridle on, I don't walk it with the halter. I know how to put the bridle on the horse. I know how to put the saddle on. I know where to get on. I know how to, and I'm pretty good. But if you watched me and you were really experienced in riding horses, you go, he kinda gets it. He's mechanical. The mechanical stage is like this. You ever go to like a wedding or you're at a club or something and the person's got the dance moves down?

• 5:57Ed Mylett?

  But they kind of dance to the lyrics and not the beat. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, the guy's got the moves, but it's just there's something, he's got the mechanics, but I think he's dancing to the words and not the beat. You know what I mean? That's the mechanical stage. But eventually you see somebody, they're like, oh, they got the rhythm and the beat. That's the natural stage. So the question is, how do you move from awkward to mechanical? You ready? Repetitions and awareness. Repetitions and awareness. So no matter what you do, you got to do more and more reps at it, more and more experience. And as you're getting that experience, being aware of the things that worked and didn't, getting coaching, getting feedback, course correcting,

• 6:41Ed Mylett?

  and improving. Success is not complicated. So no matter what it is you're doing, if you're an athlete and you're listening and you've had to switch positions, you were on the offensive side, now you're on the defensive side. It's not the play of defense isn't for you. It's that you better do a lot of reps. You better have a lot of awareness. You better watch a lot of film. You better do a course correction. So you do it through repetitions, awkward, enough reps, and awareness and course corrections, you'll move to mechanical. And then from the mechanical phase, it's the same process. More and more and more repetitions, more and more course correction and awareness, until you become natural. And in business, all the money's made at the natural phase. Oftentimes in business, the money is predicated upon your ability to get natural and your ability

• 7:24Ed Mylett?

  to train other people at their jobs or crafts to become natural as well. What's most incredible to me, if I can be candid with you, is there's an art and a science to being successful at anything. And most people love the art, the mindset, the thinking, the thought processes. They love the art form of it. What do I need to think? What do I need to vision? What do I need to dream? Subconscious mind, meditation, blah, blah, blah. Most people don't have a tolerance for the science part. The science part's real simple. It's math. You got to do more reps. If you're in business, you got to do more calls, more emails, more appointments, more meetings, more setbacks. You got to do the reps to move out of that awkward stage.

• 8:07Ed Mylett?

  The awareness, the course correction, now you're mechanical. You want to get from mechanical? If you're in business, you want to get great at business? You want to become the best ever? More reps. More course correction, more awareness, you become natural. You pick up golf. You want to play a great golf game? You better get out on the driving range and hit a bunch of balls and you better have someone videoing you and you better get course correction and have awareness. And if you do enough reps, hit enough balls with enough correction, with enough awareness, you'll become mechanical. When you start playing golf, it's real simple. How do you hold the club? Baseball grip, overlap grip? What's the grip? Right? How long should your clubs be? Where's your backswing? What's a swing plane? How do you come through the ball? What's your right hand do? Your left hand, your left? There's a lot to it. You watch someone start to play golf. It's crazy to watch, isn't it?

• 8:51Ed Mylett?

  But if they do enough reps, they do enough learning, they learn, they get enough coaching and correction, they can become mechanical. Then you watch people play mechanical golf. They got a good golf swing, but it's... Then eventually they become natural and they play their game. If you're going to play the game, you have to have a tolerance for the repetitions. So one of the reasons that we don't do the reps is we stop is because we don't give ourselves credit for what I call invisible progress. Invisible progress means this. There's such a thing as what I call compound pounding. Compound pounding means basically this. That as you're hitting an object over and over again and you compound the hitting of that object, over time you break it down. Right? But what... Most of that progress is invisible. We don't see it. So as we're in the awkward stage and we're doing the reps,

• 9:34Ed Mylett?

  we're making progress, but it's usually not visible to us. Or if we're in the mechanical stage, we're doing the reps, the compound pounding of doing it over and over again is happening, but we can't see the progress. So what most people do is they quit before they get natural at anything because there doesn't appear to be physical, visible progress. Most of us want to see progress to believe it's happening. But the truth is in life, in most things, even in a loving relationship, a lot of the progress is happening invisibly. Certainly true in business. So let me give you the best example of it. I wrote about this in my first book, but a long time ago, I was at a... I got invited to a birthday party for a young person and I didn't really want to go to it because they were so young and my kids were grown.

• 10:17Ed Mylett?

  But I went to the birthday party because it was a friend of mine and they had a pinata for the birthday boy. And so if you all know what a pinata is, it's very interesting, but like basically kids hitting the pinata with a bat, right? And it reminded me of business so much because you get there, what do they do? They blindfold this poor little kid and then spin him around and hand him a bat like a weapon, right? So the kid spun around, he has no idea where he's going, he's just kind of flailing away, can't even find the pinata. That's how most people that start out in business feel, by the way. They're just flailing away, they don't even know where the target is, they're just swinging, right? Just like this little guy and I'm watching him going, there's an analogy here for sure. So finally, there's a course correction and an awareness and the dad points the little guy at the pinata even though the blindfold's still on, so he still can't see it, but now

• 11:01Ed Mylett?

  he's at least pointed in the right direction. That's what that awkward phase is like. And now he's wailing on the pinata, hitting it and hitting it and then hitting it, he's getting more and more tired. This pinata is not breaking, right? So finally he goes, nah, I quit. Why? There was no visible progress. So then what they do, they take the blindfold off him, he goes and plays on the swing set, they grab the next little kid, it was a little girl, same thing, they blindfold her, she's like a new person in business, she's flailing away, not even hitting the pinata, she doesn't even know where the target is, right? Finally, she gets course correction, makes an adjustment, some awareness, and she's wailing on this pinata. No candy comes out. There's no progress, so she quits. You could picture it, you've seen this before, next little guy gets up, he hits it five,

• 11:44Ed Mylett?

  six, 10 times, he quits, next person gets up, she quits. After about seven kids have hit in this pinata, the only person left is the little, young, little four-year-old little boy. And everyone's quit because there was no progress. But what was happening was, all the reps were happening, even though there was no visible progress. So all the reps were happening. So this little four-year-old gets up, they put the blindfold on him, spin him around, and he takes one swing. Bam, hits the pinata. All the candy comes out. And all the kids come running from the swing set back and everyone's celebrating and getting all the candy. Let me ask you a question. Who broke the pinata?

• 12:27Ed Mylett?

  Was it the final blow by the four-year-old, the one shot? Or was it the cumulative blows that everybody took hitting the pinata along the way? That ended up eventually breaking it down? We all know the answer. It was the cumulative blows to that pinata, the cumulative repetitions, that were breaking it down over and over, even though you couldn't visibly see the progress. And see, in life, most people will quit in their pursuit of their dream before the candy comes out. Because they don't see visible progress. Even though the whole time, compound pounding is happening as you're moving from the awkward stage. You're doing the reps, you're course correcting, you're aware. Now you're in the mechanical stage. And you're course correcting and you're aware.

• 13:12Ed Mylett?

  And you keep hitting the pinata and doing the reps of your life, of your dream. And then the natural stage. Most people will quit on their dream before the candy comes out. Even though progress is being made. Most people quit one blow away from getting all the candy in life. My recommendation to you is, life is a lot like that pinata. You're making more progress than you think you are. Keep hitting the pinata of your life and know that as you do this, you're moving from stage to stage to stage. And if you do it long enough, the metaphorical candy of whatever that candy is for you, the money, the success, the award, the recognition, the acknowledgement, the emotion, the relationship. The candy eventually comes out.

• 13:54Ed Mylett?

  The question is, will you keep hitting the pinata of your life, doing the reps, until the candy's there and will you be there to collect the candy and celebrate? From now on, whatever you're doing, go, this is okay. It's where I'm supposed to be. I've only done 10 of these, of course, I'm still awkward. Or I've only done 45 of these. Hey Ed, how many does it ma- how many does it take? It's different for different people. The question is, do you have the determination, the relentlessness, the resiliency to stay long enough to move through all three stages until you get paid? So the question just becomes this, are you determined enough to do the reps? Are you determined enough to do the course correction? And have the awareness to move through the different stages? And my wish for you is that you become natural as soon as possible. The sooner you do the reps, the sooner you do the course corrections, the sooner you have the self-awareness, the sooner you become natural.

• 14:39Ed Mylett?

  And we're off to the races and having blissful success in our life.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest.

• 14:52Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. Excited to talk to this gentleman today because his work's fascinated me for a long time. The reason his work has fascinated me for so long, I went through this string for a while where so many, what I'd call high performing, successful friends of mine would say, have you read Atomic Habits? You read Atomic Habits? I'm talking about athletes, business people, entertainers. And I'm like, the heck is Atomic Habits? And I finally find out there's this guy, James Clear. Turns out he's written this book, like five million people have bought it. And I'm like, well, why have five million people read this book on habits? Because you know, you're supposed to have them. And then I read it. I'm like, ah, it's not one of these like have a habit book. It's like how your brain works, how to create habits, how to eliminate bad ones, and physically why in your brain

• 15:36Ed Mylett?

  you can do these things and why it's so necessary. So I've wanted James on for a long time. We finally put it together. I'm so grateful to share him with all of you today. So James Clear, welcome to the show, brother.

• 15:45James Clear?

  Hey, thanks for having me on. Great to talk to you.

• 15:47Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. And I don't want to just talk habits today. I'm going to talk about some of your productivity hacks as well.

• 15:53James Clear?

  Sure.

• 15:53Ed Mylett?

  Your work, Rose, is, I think I'd call it groundbreaking because I don't think anybody's really approached habits the way that you have. But let's, let's back up a little bit just for a second because I, I think it's important for people to understand this concept you teach that, you know, everyone's always talking about taking massive action. You take massive action towards what you want. You're like, yeah, you should do that. But your concept of getting 1% better is much more believable for most people. And so just address that for a second. Why, why 1% better every day? And how does a habit do that?

• 16:26James Clear?

  Sure. So first of all, I think there's no reason that you can't be really ambitious, right? Like I consider myself to be a very ambitious person. I think it's just that you're oscillating or switching between these two modes, you know, like when you're in planning mode, when you're in strategy mode, sure, you can be very ambitious and be very aggressive and, you know, stretching yourself and reaching. But when it comes time to take action and execute, you have to scale it down to something you can achieve that day. You know, like the, in one sense, the biggest unit of time you could ever do something is about a single day because then you got to go to sleep, you know, and then you have to wake up again and do it the next day. So unless you're playing, you know, at some point, there's a limit, you can only stay up for 48 hours, 72 hours, like, you know, and then you break.

• 17:08James Clear?

  So that's the largest possible unit that you could ever do a single thing in. And I think more realistically, most of the time, the truth is, you know, you got about an hour, or maybe you got two hours to work on this and then you got to go move on to something else. So we don't have big chunks of time available to us. We need to scale things down into pieces that we can actually work on and execute. So the way that I think about it is when making plans, think big, when making progress, think small. And getting 1% better each day is a way to encourage that.

• 17:38Ed Mylett?

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• 18:22Ed Mylett?

  Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co forward slash safety. R-O dot C-O slash safety. So when I end, when I ended up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand vetted by product specialists that use a 10-point quality and System. Here's all I can tell you. The stuff has lasted over time. It looks great and I get compliments on it.

• 19:07Ed Mylett?

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• 19:42James Clear?

  The story that I like to tell, and this is something that I kind of kick Atomic Habits off with, is the story of the British cycling team. And, uh, you know, for many years, British cycling was very mediocre. They had never won a Tour de France, which is the premier race in cycling. They had won a single gold medal over like a hundred year span and they brought this new performance coach in named Dave Brailsford. And he had this concept that he called the aggregation of marginal gains, the aggregation of marginal gains. And the way that he described it was the 1% improvement in nearly everything that we do related to cycling. So they started looking at a bunch of things you would expect a cycling team to focus on, like they put slightly lighter tires on the bike or they designed like an ergonomic seat for the riders.

• 20:24James Clear?

  They had the riders wear a little feedback sensor, little chip to see how each individual responded to training. Then they would adjust the practice schedule. But then they started doing like these little 1% changes, these small improvements that nobody else was really thinking about. Like they hired a surgeon to come in and teach the riders how to wash their hands to reduce the risk of catching a cold or getting the flu. They have this big trailer, like a semi trailer that carries a lot of bikes in it to major events. And they painted the inside of that truck trailer white so that they could spot little bits of dirt and dust that might get in the gears and degrade the performance of the bikes. They have two different types of fabrics. They've got like indoor racing suits and outdoor racing suits. And they tested those fabrics in a wind tunnel and they found out that the indoor fabric was lighter and more aerodynamic.

• 21:09James Clear?

  So they asked all of their riders to wear that fabric. They even had all their different riders test, you know, like a bunch of like maybe a dozen different types of pillows. And then they see which one led to the best night's sleep for each person. And then once they figured that out, they brought that on the road with them to hotels for the Tour de France and so on. And, you know, Brailsford said something like, if we can actually do this, right, if we actually make all these 1% improvements related to cycling, then I think we can win a Tour de France within five years. He ended up being wrong. They won the Tour de France in three years, and then they repeated again the fourth year with a different rider. And then after one year break, they won three more in a row. So after having never won for like 110 years, you know, they win five of the next six.

• 21:50James Clear?

  And I like to use that story as an introduction to this idea of getting a little bit better, making these 1% improvements for a couple of reasons. The first is, it shows you that excellence, a lot of the time, maybe we could even say most of the time, is not actually about radical change. It's about a commitment to accruing small improvements day in and day out. Secondly, and I think this is also crucial, it encourages you to focus on trajectory rather than position, right? There's a lot of discussion about position in life. How much money is in the bank account? What is the number on the scale? What is the current stock price? What are the quarterly earnings? There's all this measurement around our current position. But what getting 1% better each day encourages is to focus on your trajectory instead. Am I getting better?

• 22:35James Clear?

  Is the arrow pointed up and to the right? Or have we flatlined? Am I getting 1% better or 1% worse? Because if you're on a good trajectory, all you need is time, right? If you have good habits, time becomes your ally. You just need to let time work for you. But if you have bad habits, time becomes your enemy. And every day that clicks by, you kind of dig the hole a little bit deeper. And so it's very much at the core, it's about encouraging you to focus on trajectory rather than position.

• 22:59Ed Mylett?

  How did you get to 37.78 times better? Like, where'd that ratio number come from?

• 23:04James Clear?

  Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's just math, right? So if you get 1% better each day for a year, so 1.01 to the 365th power, then you get 37 times better by the end of the year. If you get 1% worse, 0.99 to the 365th power, then you drive yourself almost all the way down to zero. Now, you know, look, real life is not exactly like a mathematical equation, right? Your habits are not exactly like this, this formula. But I do think that it highlights an important concept, which is the difference between making a choice that's 1% better or 1% worse on any given day. Is relatively insignificant. Like it's very easy to dismiss. And this is, I think, one of the things that makes it underappreciated or underestimated. You know, like, what is the

• 23:49James Clear?

  difference between eating a burger and fries for lunch today, or eating a salad, or, you know, going to the gym for 30 minutes or not? Well, on any given day, not a whole lot. You know, your body looks the same in the mirror at the end of the night. Scale hasn't really changed. It's only two, or five, or 10 years later that you turn around, and you're like, oh, you know, those daily choices really do add up. And I think you see this pattern again and again throughout life. Like, take knowledge, for example. A person who always reads for an extra 10 minutes each day. Well, look, reading for 10 minutes a day does not make you a genius, right? It's very easy to dismiss. But the person who always does that over five, or 10, or 20 years, yeah, really meaningful difference in wisdom and insight. Productivity is the same

• 24:32James Clear?

  way. You know, like, the person who gets one extra task done each day. Doing one extra thing does not make you an all-star. But again, over 10, or 20, or 30-year career, that can be a really meaningful difference in output. So this pattern shows up again and again. What starts out small, relatively easy to dismiss, compounds or turns into something much more significant over time.

• 24:51Ed Mylett?

  The biggest word, bro. I don't think most people take into account, you and I are both college baseball players, good ones, but neither one of us were, you know, surefire first-round draft pick major league players. And I think most people don't take into account, and they're like, the compound effect. I don't think they understand it in money. I don't think they understand it in their bodies, both positive and negative. And I don't think they understand their identity, or in just in habits. The compound effect in life of allowing small things to stack up over time has a multiplier effect. And one of the things that I feel like in your work, and by the way, your work is, I'm at work, we're a few minutes in here, and I'm like, this is so good. And the reason is, is one, I believe, most people believe they can get 1% better every day. I don't think most people believe that they can completely transform

• 25:35Ed Mylett?

  everything in one big leap. I think there's a multiplier, though. Do you agree that between doing the right things, one percent or just better habitually every single day? Not only you actually making deposits of doing things correctly or better, but there's a part of your identity that starts to change over time about how you view yourself, that I am that guy who doesn't eat the hamburger and fries when he can choose to eat the other one. And you stack those choices and behaviors up over time. And you start sort of believing maybe you deserve something that you didn't deserve prior. Doesn't there a factor of that, don't you think as well?

• 26:06James Clear?

  This is a huge part of kind of my philosophy in book, this idea of what I call identity-based habits. But essentially, the concept is, and this, I think this is the real reason that habits matter. The, the surface level reason that habits matter is they help you be more productive. They help you make more money. They help you lose weight and get fit. And look, habits can do all those things, and that's great. But I think the deeper reason that they matter is that every action you take is like a vote for the type of person you wish to become. And so when you perform these small habits, when you take these little actions, you're casting votes for a certain aspect of your story or a certain element of your identity. In a sense, every time you perform a habit, that's how you like embody that aspect of your identity.

• 26:50James Clear?

  So, you know, when you make your bed in the morning, you embody the identity of someone who's clean and organized. Or if you write one sentence, you embody the identity of someone who is a writer. And this is why it can be valuable, you know, even to like do one push up. It's like, no, that does not transform your body, but it does cast a vote for I'm the type of person who doesn't miss workouts. And eventually, as you build up evidence of that story, as you start to cast more votes for that identity, you have like actual proof to believe this, right? This is, I think is a little bit different than you'll often hear something like fake it till you make it. And I don't necessarily have anything wrong with fake it till you make it. It's asking you to believe something positive about yourself,

• 27:31James Clear?

  but it's asking you to believe something positive without having evidence for it. And we have a word for beliefs that don't have evidence. We call that delusion, right? Like at some point, your brain doesn't like this mismatch between what you say you are and what you're actually doing. And so my argument is So let the behavior lead the way to start by meditating for one minute or doing one push up or writing one sentence and letting that be undeniable proof that in that moment, you were a meditator or an athlete or writer or whatever it is. And ultimately, I think this is the real value that habits provide, which is they reinforce your desired identity.

• 28:08Ed Mylett?

  Boy, it's just so good, brother. So good. I don't know why I'm just meeting you now because our, our overall belief system about change is so very, very similar. And, you know, I want to, we're going to talk about how to actually begin to establish habits. But before we do that, I want to talk about the concept of establishing one, because you said something about the one push up, reading or listening to something you're talking about, but the guy who would go to the gym for just five minutes and work out. And you said something about this casting the vote for who you want to be or who you're going to be. That was powerful, right? But you're saying before a habit can be, and I don't want to quote you incorrectly, but I want you to elaborate on it, because this is profound to me. I mean, it's obvious, but if you, if you don't step back and get away from it and look at it, you just really don't realize the truth of it.

• 28:54Ed Mylett?

  Before a habit can be improved, it has to actually be established. And I think what happens is, you tell me what you think. Beginning of the year, I'm going to lose 50 pounds. I'm going to do this. I'm going to eat five minutes. It's, I'm going to, I'm going to starve myself to 500 calories. So it's not a 1% improvement, or I want to get up earlier. I'm going to get up two hours earlier, starting tomorrow, instead of get up 15 minutes earlier. Right? Get up a minute earlier. So talk about it from a, just the, the concept for one to just, they can take control of their life right now by just the establishment of a habit, right? Or, or right?

• 29:32James Clear?

  Yeah, definitely right. I, um, so one of the concepts I talk about in the book is this, one of the strategies is this idea of what I call the two minute rule, where I encourage people to build a habit that takes two minutes or less to do. So you take whatever you're trying to do, read 30 books a year becomes read one page, or do yoga four days a week becomes take out my yoga mat. And sometimes when I mention that idea, people resist it a little bit because they're like, okay, buddy, you know, I know the real goal isn't just to take my yoga mat out. I know I'm actually trying to do the workout. So if this is some kind of mental trick, then like, why would I fall for it, basically? Well, I tell the story of this guy Mitch that you mentioned, this guy who I met, I talk about him in Atomic Habits. He went to the gym. He's lost over a hundred pounds, kept it off for more than

• 30:16James Clear?

  a decade. And when he first started going to the gym, he wouldn't stay for five, longer than five minutes. He had this little rule. He had to leave after five minutes. So he'd get in the car, drive to the gym, get out, do half an exercise, get back in the car, drive home. And it sounds ridiculous, right? It sounds silly. You're like, obviously, he's not going to get the guy the results that he wants. But if you take a step back, you realize that he was mastering the art of showing up, right? He was becoming the type of person that went to the gym four days a week, even if it was only for five minutes. And this gets us to that deeper truth about habits that you just mentioned, this idea that a habit must be established before it can be improved. It has to become the standard in your life before you can optimize it and scale it up into

• 30:59James Clear?

  something more. And, you know, I don't know why we do this. Like, we get very all or nothing about our habits. We're like, we're so focused on finding the perfect business idea, or the best workout program, or the ideal diet plan, that we spend all our time theorizing and researching and looking for a better way. And instead, if we could just master the art of showing up, even if in the beginning, it was less than what you had hoped to do, you're establishing a foothold. You're building some small progress that you can advance off of. And it reminds me of Ed Latimore has that great quote where he says, "The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door." And man, there are a lot of things in life that are like that. You know, like, the hardest part is getting started. The hardest part is establishing the routine, even if it's

• 31:43James Clear?

  a lower level baseline than what you ultimately hope to achieve. But the reality is, if you can't become the type of person who masters the art of showing up, even if it's just for five minutes, then it doesn't matter how good the plan is. It doesn't matter how great your theory is. And so I think the two-minute rule pushes back on that perfectionist tendency a little bit, and just encourages you to master the art of showing up.

• 32:04Ed Mylett?

  That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Welcome back to Max Out with Ed Mylett. I got him.

• 32:18Eric Thomas?

  Ah.

• 32:19Ed Mylett?

  I got ET.

• 32:20Eric Thomas?

  Hey.

• 32:22Ed Mylett?

  We're in the building, man. We've been so glad to have you here. Thank you so much.

• 32:25Eric Thomas?

  Beautiful home, man.

• 32:26Ed Mylett?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 32:27Eric Thomas?

  Beautiful family, man. I feel, yeah, I don't do a lot of this, so those who know me know, I've probably done two, three podcasts.

• 32:34Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, wow.

• 32:35Eric Thomas?

  So this is, yeah, this is special.

• 32:37Ed Mylett?

  And as good as it is to have you here, it's better to have Dee Dee, your wife, here with you.

• 32:40Eric Thomas?

  Definitely.

• 32:40Ed Mylett?

  Figuring it all out.

• 32:41Eric Thomas?

  Yeah, yeah, no question.

• 32:43Ed Mylett?

  So thank you.

• 32:43Eric Thomas?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 32:44Ed Mylett?

  So this is Eric Thomas, as you all know, and in my opinion, you guys know that I've been speaking for a long time. I think this is an anointed, gifted, incredible communicator, because it comes from your heart. You're outstanding. So for someone listening to this, talk about routine, because if you want, everyone wants to be free. One of the challenges, they act free before they are. You know what I mean? Like, there's a certain amount of disciplines and routine and habits and rituals you've got to have that could get you free at one point. Talk about that for a second.

• 33:13Eric Thomas?

  Yeah, I'm gonna say honestly, man, you know, I came to the realization one day, and again, love my biological father, you know, much respect, much respect for the person that raised me. But I realized at some point, when I looked at my family's history, I was like, some things I don't want. There's some things I want, but there's some things I don't want. And then I remember having to say one thing to myself, like, yo, you are your father's child. Like, yo, even though he didn't raise you, even though in the beginning you guys had, you know, whatever little stuff y'all needed to get through, E, don't lie. You are lazy at times. You know what I'm saying? Like, E, you are super social, and you'd rather talk than work. You know what I'm saying? I just had to grow up one day

• 33:55Eric Thomas?

  and just be real with myself, and just say, E, the only way you're gonna be successful is you've got to discipline yourself. You know, when you look at, when you look at a horse, I'm talking about a thoroughbred, it still needs that, what is that thing called that they put on it? He still, he needs that. Without, you know, you can't, you gotta control him. You know, he got a lot of juice, got a lot of energy, he can go for, but you gotta, you gotta hone that. And so I realized, like, yo, E, you'd sleep in, you'd play video games, don't lie to yourself. You are powerful, but you have some vices. And you have some vices that'll take you down a crazy road, like you are your father, you are your grandfather, you are your mother, you are your grandmother, like it's real. And so I started saying, okay, E, you gotta discipline yourself. And this for me, this ain't for everybody.

• 34:40Eric Thomas?

  I started getting up at three o'clock in the morning. It was like, yo, you're gonna have to get up a little bit earlier because you didn't finish school. You didn't take care of your business. So you can't get up the same time another man who gets up, who handle his business. So you need to get up at three if you're gonna catch the greats. You gotta get up at three, you gotta go to bed early. This is why I said, I never drank or smoked because the men in my life who did it were extremists. I had an uncle who died of cirrhosis of the liver. You know, I had other uncles who drank and, and my father, bless his heart, but he was strung out on drugs for about 14 years. And I was just like, yo, E, you can see that they don't know how to do it casually, like they ain't social drinkers, like they ain't social on substance. They taking it to a whole other level. And so for me, it was like, E, you gotta discipline yourself.

• 35:24Eric Thomas?

  You're not gonna die if you never know what alcohol tastes like. But if you tasted it, you might have the same experience they had. So you just gotta discipline yourself. You know, I do vegan most of the time, you know what I'm saying? And I tell people all the time, I love fried chicken. I love macaroni and cheese. I love a lot of dessert. But in my family, it's diabetes. So it's like, yo, E, if you do what they do, then you gonna get the results they got. So you, yeah, chicken is good and macaroni cheese, the way my grandma make it is great. And yes, the pound cake is phenomenal. But if you wanna be with Didi for the next 30, 40 years, you wanna be able to walk, you know what I'm saying? You don't wanna be on the cruise. I was just on the cruise and they, a couple of people, you know, was on motor scooter, you know what I'm saying? People with the cans and the walkers. And I'm not mad at them.

• 36:04Eric Thomas?

  But I'm like, I don't want that. I wanna be able to walk at 60, at 70. I wanna be independent at 80, if I can be. So I'm gonna have to make some sacrifices now for the long run. I would drink pop every day if I could.

• 36:16Ed Mylett?

  Is everybody hearing this though? Like, I mean, listen, all of us that wanna win, like, you already said, like, I gotta get up at three o'clock in the morning if I'm gonna catch the greats because I started with some deficiency. Successful people are very self-aware. Like, they don't BS themselves, right? Like, I have laziness too. I love laying around. I love sleep, right? No, but before- I wouldn't have got to sleep here if I if I was just me. I had to get these rituals and habits and disciplines. And people think sometimes they listen to me and they were so intentional like these dudes are freaks. I'm not a freak. But you know what I say that because it makes it easier for them to say I can't do it if they freaks then I can't do it. That's their out. You're exactly right. And I'm not gonna give you that out. Neither are you. Like, I'm lazy. I gotta get up early.

• 37:00Ed Mylett?

  I gotta get up because if I don't get up by like, I get up at 4:35, but if I don't get up by then, I will be in bed at 8 o'clock. I have to get up. I have to move my body. So I'm with you 100%. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kinda just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos and breathable activewear.

• 37:42Ed Mylett?

  Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers. Or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink.

• 38:30Ed Mylett?

  You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube

• 39:14Ed Mylett?

  or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back, everybody. I've wanted to have Alan on our show for a long time. I was just telling him this off camera. I wanted to have him on because he's got a really unique perspective and an upfront view to some of the key performers in the NBA for many, many years. And he's taken the lessons he's learned from these high performers and he's distilled it down into information that everybody can use as an entrepreneur, as a father, as a mother, as just a human being. And he communicates it in a very unique way. We're going to go very deep today on performance, on your game. His first book I read, which is called Raise Your Game. The book that's out now is called Sustain Your Game:

• 39:58Ed Mylett?

  High Performance Keys to Manage Stress, Avoid Stagnation, and Beat Burnout. I think everybody listening to this needs some help right now in the world with stress, stagnation, and burnout. So Alan Stein, welcome to the show, bro.

• 40:11Alan Stein Jr.?

  Oh, man, it's so awesome to be here. My pleasure.

• 40:13Ed Mylett?

  Finally, man. You know what I want to start out? I want to start out with Kobe Bryant.

• 40:17Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yes.

• 40:17Ed Mylett?

  So Alan's worked with everybody from people like Kobe to Kevin Durant to Steph Curry and many, many companies and business leaders as well. But you tell this great story, I think it's around a Nike camp or something like that with Kobe Bryant that just blew my mind and I think just personifies greatness and high standards. So tell us that story.

• 40:36Alan Stein Jr.?

  Sure. Well, I mean, it absolutely changed my life. So I had a chance to meet Kobe in 2007. It was the first ever Nike Skills Academy and they were building a series of camps around their signature players who of course, at that time Kobe Bryant was the top of that mountain and flew out to Los Angeles here, La La Land, to work that event. And I had a chance to watch one of his really early morning workouts, which

• 40:57Ed Mylett?

  For those legendary.

• 40:58Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely legendary. And for folks that are familiar, those have a start time of 4 a.m. And you know, and of course, the most impressive part of that is you're talking about a guy that had already reached the mountaintop. You know, he's already a surefire Hall of Famer, multimillionaire, 10 times over, NBA champion, MVP, I mean, and he's still up in the off season, putting in that type of work. And, and I remember being as a younger coach, being shocked at the simplicity of what he was doing. I mean, he spent the first 30 minutes without even having a ball in his hands. He was doing basic pivoting drills and footwork drills. And his workout lasted for a couple of hours. And I remember vividly at the end of this workout, going up to him and saying, Kobe, I don't get it, man. You're, you're the best player in the world. Why are you doing such basic drills?

• 41:42Alan Stein Jr.?

  And I'll never forget it. He gave me a really friendly smile and a wink, but he said in a really serious tone, why do you think I'm the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics. And, and that changed my life. That changed my perspective. You know, I went into that workout expecting to see some sizzle, some sexiness, you know, some flash. And he just was routinely drilling down on the basic fundamentals. And, you know, ever since that day, that has been my core philosophy for performance. Is never getting bored with the basics and working on mastery of the fundamentals during the unseen hours.

• 42:17Ed Mylett?

  Really good, bro. Like we're right there already. We're already getting to the good stuff.

• 42:20Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely.

• 42:21Ed Mylett?

  Because I think there's a thing in leadership, that's leadership fatigue. We get tired of saying the same things over and over again, even though we should. I think in business and life, there's just a fatigue of the mundane of doing the things that actually work and we move away from them. And sometimes the greatest people in the world just don't allow themselves to suffer from the fatigue of the repetition.

• 42:40Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 42:40Ed Mylett?

  True.

• 42:40Alan Stein Jr.?

  Abs- absolutely. And you hit the nail on the head. That's incredibly insightful. Uh, I think we can readily acknowledge that the basics, if you allow them to, can be monotonous, can be mundane, and can get boring unless you have that type of approach to them. And even if you don't love doing the basics, you need to love what the basics produce for you, which is basically creating that foundation to which the rest of the house is built. And guys like Kobe, um, they never leave them. And that's, that's the key. And the, the beautiful part is it's not saying that you don't also graduate to do more advanced techniques and so forth. It says you never leave the basics and-

• 43:16Ed Mylett?

  Are they like the building blocks to allow you to do the great things, right? Like they're the fundamental things, the footwork and basketball. It's the communication or presenting skills in business. It's the vision stretching capacity of a leader. It's the, the generosity and kindness and gentleness that requires from a parent that we have to do over and over again and show that love, right? It's, it's the repetition we get bored of. I don't know who said it first. Maybe it was Tony Robbins. I'm not sure. I say it all the time. I, sometimes I think I said it first. I don't know. But the complexity is the enemy of execution. That oftentimes we try to complicate things in our life and then we have an inability to execute. True?

• 43:51Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely. Simple is smooth and then smooth is what gets it done. And, uh, yeah. And of course, in a game like basketball, for your listeners that follow, it's, it's footwork, it's shooting mechanics, it's how well you handle the ball. You know, we all know those are the basics. So the, the first step for anyone trying to improve performance in any area of their life, first of all, is to admit that the basics work. But then second, it's having the humility to acknowledge that doing the basics every day is not easy. But what you have to do is get crystal clear on what are the basic fundamental building blocks of whatever it is you're trying to improve. If you're trying to improve your marriage, what are the handful of fundamentals that will go into a nurturing relationship? If you're trying to be a more influential and impactful executive, what are the handful of things that you, and you could go down the list,

• 44:35Alan Stein Jr.?

  whether you want to be a musician, an artist, anything in between, you have to get crystal clear on what those basics are. And then you have to commit towards working towards them relentlessly during the unseen hours to work towards mastery.

• 44:47Ed Mylett?

  Unseen hours. That's the other part of the story that fascinated me. So as I understand it, you ask him the day before, can I come watch this workout? And he goes, uh, yeah, four o'clock. And it wasn't 4pm, it was 4am.

• 44:59Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 44:59Ed Mylett?

  But you, I'll let you share this, but you're like, well, I'm gonna impress this guy and get there early. So there's a 4am workout, but what happens, tell them what happens when you get there and you get there early.

• 45:08Alan Stein Jr.?

  Well, yeah, and I arrived today early because I believe in making a good first impression and I believe that getting places early is a sign of respect to the person that you're gonna meet. And, you know, as a young coach, I'm thinking, what could be better than me leaving my mark and impressing Kobe? So if he thinks he's working out at four, I'm gonna be waiting for him at the gym at, you know, 3:30am and he's gonna be blown away. And instead, I arrive at the gym and can see the lights already on, can hear sneakers squeaking and a ball bouncing from the parking lot. I walk in at 3:30 in the morning, he's going through a warm-up. He doesn't even count that as part of his workout.

• 45:42Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, that's good.

• 45:42Alan Stein Jr.?

  So he's doing that at 3:30 before his workout actually started with his trainer at four.

• 45:47Ed Mylett?

  Bro, that's crazy.

• 45:48Alan Stein Jr.?

  And he went on for a couple hours, again, sticking to the basics and just drilling down. And, you know, he's one of those guys that really understands the concept. You know, if you wanna perform well in front of millions, then you have to be willing to put in millions of reps when no one else is watching, which is how we define the unseen hours. And that, that actually I stole from my friend Drew Hanlon, who's an NBA skills coach, who, he's the one that came up with the term unseen hours. And I conveniently borrowed that and I use it everywhere because I really believe that success in anything, even the success of your podcast is predicated on the due diligence and the research that you do on each guest before the mics go hot.

• 46:24Ed Mylett?

  Very true.

• 46:25Alan Stein Jr.?

  And that's the unseen hours and that's what a lot of people, they don't see.

• 46:28Ed Mylett?

  That the standard is different, right? So like this idea that a 4am workout, look, let's just be really honest, you and I, you know the NBA a lot better than I do, but I know professional sports and most dudes are coming home around 4am in the NBA oftentimes, right? Not starting, not having a workout at 4am and then to know that, no, it's not 4am, he was, you're there at 3:30, he had already been warming up for 25 or 30 minutes before. There's just a different standard.

• 46:52Alan Stein Jr.?

  Yeah.

• 46:52Ed Mylett?

  I think with the elite performer, I think an elite mother has just a little bit different standard than an average mother. I think an elite executive, they just set a different culture standards around. That's gotta be part of it, right?

• 47:03Alan Stein Jr.?

  Absolutely. And I don't know if you know the reason that he did the workout at 4am. But it parlay's perfectly into your new book, you know, just do one more. The reason Kobe does that, he understands that e- even the most aggressive players in the NBA, they're going to get in two workouts a day during the offseason. First one is usually around nine or 10 a.m. and then they'll take a lunch break and then they'll come back at three or four. So his mindset was if everyone else in the league is going to be doing two workouts a day, I'm going to do three because I'm going to do one more than they're doing. And the only way I can squeeze that in is if I get up and do it at four. So when he's coming home from his first workout, his competition is just waking up to go in for their first workout. So then he's doing his second workout while they're doing their first.

• 47:45Alan Stein Jr.?

  And then it's it's the compounding interest effect of if I do this every single day in the offseason, for not just years, but in his case, decades, he said, no one will ever catch me. Because every time I I wake up, I'm going to do one more than you're doing. You'll never catch me. And I think that's part of what gave him that, you know, that Mamba mentality.

• 48:03Ed Mylett?

  That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I'm Ed Mylett. Let me ask you a question before we begin today. Do you have any sense right now, like you feel like you're just overloaded? And you're overwhelmed with information in your life. Maybe you're having a hard time getting focused. You get distracted pretty easily. Maybe your concentration sort of suffers a little bit, your memory issues. Well, my guest here today is an expert on optimal brain performance, on learning, on learning quickly, and on maxing out your capacity to think and perform in your life. And it was rarely born out of some tragedy, out of some some difficult events out of his childhood.

• 48:46Ed Mylett?

  He's turned those tragic events into becoming a world renowned expert on brain performance. And today, I'm really blessed because I've been chasing this guy for a while. I've wanted him to share his brilliance with you, the audience. And I'm I'm grateful that he's here today because we're about to change your life and change the way you learn, think, and perform. So my guest today is the great Jim Quick. Jim, thank you.

• 49:07Jim Kwik?

  Ed, thank you so much. I've been looking forward to this so much.

• 49:09Ed Mylett?

  Me too, brother. We've been, we've had great conversations off camera and. I'm so excited because I know there are some shows I know that we do that are inspirational. And then there are shows I know that are going to inspire, but also by the end of the program, people's lives are just measurably better and they can perform better. And today is heavy note taking. If you're driving in the car, you're gonna wanna hear it, but you're gonna wanna get back and listen to the video or something too to write the notes down we're gonna cover. So let's just go back just a little bit, because I wanna give people context. Because I really believe life happens for us, not to us. And it's the meaning in our life of the events that happen to us. Not the event, but the meaning we take from it. And so you've become this world-renowned expert. You've worked with the Dalai Lama, Richard Branson, right?

• 49:52Ed Mylett?

  Some of the highest-profile celebrities in the world, most successful business people. But it's ironic that that was founded out of a boy with a broken brain, right? And that was because you had fallen and hurt your head, is that right? Like a five-year-old, or tell us that story real quick.

• 50:06Jim Kwik?

  You know, it's funny, I just posted this on Instagram today. I said, "Difficult times could define us, they could diminish us, or they could develop us. You decide." Because ultimately, we do decide. And yeah, I'm such a big fan of yours.

• 50:20Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 50:21Jim Kwik?

  And follow of your work. And first of all, before we get started, I appreciate everyone who's watching this. And what I love is you are the person you are on and off-camera.

• 50:30Ed Mylett?

  Oh, thank you.

• 50:31Jim Kwik?

  And that means a lot to me, you know, your humility, because you're so accomplished. And so the reason why I'm excited about this is because I think this message we have to talk to people about is so important, because your brain controls everything.

• 50:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Jim Kwik?

  Right? When people see me on stage, they'll see me have a hundred people stand up and I'll memorize all their names as they introduce themselves, or a hundred words, or a hundred numbers that they give me forwards and backwards.

• 50:53Ed Mylett?

  I've seen this man have a hundred people give him two numbers out of sequence, and he'll repeat back a hundred people's multiple numbers like this.

• 51:01Jim Kwik?

  And here's the thing, I always tell people, "I don't do this to impress you. I do this to express to you what's really possible." Because the truth is, every single person that's listening and watching this could do that and a lot more.

• 51:11Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 51:12Jim Kwik?

  The thing is, we weren't taught. You know, if anything, we were taught a lie that somehow our capabilities, our potential, our memory, for instance, our learning abilities, our intelligence is somehow fixed, like our shoe size. And it's absolutely not true. We've discovered more about the human brain in the past 20 years than the previous 2,000 years combined. And what we found is we've grossly underestimated our own potential, our own capabilities. And that's the thing, it's just because we weren't taught. And I really think the nature of the work that you do, that I do, that our community is really backing, is about transcending. It's about ending the trance. Transcend, end the trance. Ending this massive gnosis in media and marketing that's telling us that we're broken, that we need to be fixed, that we're not enough.

• 51:57Jim Kwik?

  And I feel like that is what holds us back. You know, this illusion, if you will.

• 52:02Ed Mylett?

  That's remarkable. Did you feel that way as a little guy?

• 52:05Jim Kwik?

  You know, when I was five years old, as you mentioned, I had this accident, head trauma, brain injury, traumatic brain injury. After that, my parents said I was never the same. You know, I became extremely shy, introverted. I had learning difficulties, I was labeled, and a label is tough, right? You know, when you're put in special classes. I couldn't understand things. My teachers would repeat themselves four or five times, and I would pretend to understand, like sometimes we do as an adult, because we have this imposter syndrome. We always want to, we want to look good, we don't want to ever make a mistake, which I feel like also holds us back.

• 52:35Ed Mylett?

  In this space, the things you teach can affect someone's life like this, and that's what I love. So can we talk about some of those things?

• 52:44Jim Kwik?

  Absolutely.

• 52:45Ed Mylett?

  I'm just fascinated, like, look at me, right? We only have an hour, I wish we had 17, but you said if there was one skill to master in the 21st century?

• 52:52Jim Kwik?

  Yes.

• 52:53Ed Mylett?

  In your opinion, it is what? What would you say?

• 52:55Jim Kwik?

  Your ability to learn faster.

• 52:57Ed Mylett?

  To learn faster.

• 52:58Jim Kwik?

  I really do believe that if there was, let's say, let's say there was a genie, and they could grant you one wish, anything you want. Most people would wish for more wishes. That would be the hack, right? If somebody, Aladdin's gonna be one wish, you ask for more wishes. But if I was a learning genie, and I could help you learn any subject, any skill, you know, anything, what would you want? What would you wish for? You would ask to learn how to learn. I did a program at Google and I remember hearing this from the chairman said the amount of information that's been created from the dawn of humanity, since human beings walked the earth through the year 2003, which is only about a decade and a half ago, that amount of information is now created every two days.

• 53:38Ed Mylett?

  Oh my gosh.

• 53:39Jim Kwik?

  Forty-eight hours online. Think about the blogs, the podcasts, the social media, that much content. Our brain, they say we use such a small potential of it. We use all our brain, but some people use it more efficiently than other people.

• 53:50Ed Mylett?

  But you talk an awful lot about the way we were learning 100 years ago is still the same way we're taught to learn. And a simple thing you said, because almost everybody listening to this, well, I know they are, they're listening, it's a podcast.

• 54:01Jim Kwik?

  Right.

• 54:01Ed Mylett?

  They're taking notes.

• 54:02Jim Kwik?

  Sure.

• 54:02Ed Mylett?

  They, they go to seminars, they take notes, they're reading books, and just a simple difference in the way we take notes even.

• 54:09Jim Kwik?

  Right.

• 54:10Ed Mylett?

  You have told, I didn't even realize this, but you're, this is an old way to take notes. There's a different way to experience even note-taking. Can you give some tips on that?

• 54:18Jim Kwik?

  Absolutely. So I recommend everybody takes notes of this specific episode because it boosts retention. People don't realize this, there's a learning curve, but there's also a forgetting curve. Science is saying that within two days, just 48 hours of listening to a podcast, reading a book, going to a conference, getting a coaching, 80% of it, up to 80% is lost.

• 54:37Ed Mylett?

  Incredible.

• 54:38Jim Kwik?

  And that's, you know, as somebody who's investing time, energy, treasure into something, to lose all that, you know, so you want to be able to, to, to hold that on. And so, one of the ways of doing it is by taking notes. And we did a whole episode on proper note-taking, and really, one that's more brain-friendly.

• 54:54Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 54:54Jim Kwik?

  Most people, and what they found is, the worst way of taking notes actually is verbatim.

• 55:00Ed Mylett?

  Which is the way I take notes.

• 55:01Jim Kwik?

  Yeah.

• 55:01Ed Mylett?

  I used to.

• 55:02Jim Kwik?

  Verbatim, full, full transcription. And they study this, you know, at universities because they test people, that people take word for word. And one of the reasons why is because there's just so much information.

• 55:12Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 55:12Jim Kwik?

  You have 18 pages of, of word for word. You don't even know what's most important. But they found the best way of actually taking notes were, were more on key words and, and relevancy. So, for example, one of the ways of taking notes that I recommend is taking a piece of paper and putting a line straight down the page.

• 55:29Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 55:30Jim Kwik?

  And on the left side, what I'm doing is I'm capturing information.

• 55:33Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 55:34Jim Kwik?

  Capturing. So, we could talk about how to remember names and how to read faster and how to learn skills faster, how to change your habits. That would be on the left, that left-hand column. You're capturing information. But on the right side, instead of capturing, you're creating. What does that mean? It means that you're writing, you're creating, and you're building on this. You're putting your impressions. So essentially, on the left side, you're taking notes, but on the right side, you're making notes. And there's a clear distinction, right, between just capturing information and actually create the creative process.

• 56:01Ed Mylett?

  Why does that matter?

• 56:02Jim Kwik?

  It matters because if you're, first of all, for focus. A lot of people, when they're listening to something, their mind will go somewhere else. They'll get distracted. So here, instead of it going somewhere else, it goes on the right side of the page, which is, let's say, left side, right brain. Brain, left brain, right brain. Left brain's more logical, and words, and language, and linear. But on the right side is your imagination, is your creativity. So your creativity could go there. The other thing is, it forces you to ask questions. I believe that questions are the answer. I think it's essential for understanding, for critical thinking, for focus, for learning. If you ever want to read something, and you... Let's say, people feel absent-minded. They forget where they put things. Their wallet, their purse, their keys, or if not their keys, something larger like their car.

• 56:47Jim Kwik?

  You see the people in the finding, they forget where they parked their car. They read a page in a book at the end and forget what they just read. They'll get a name from somebody, and they'll just forget it right away. One of the ways to insulate that is to ask questions, right? To ask questions about something. So for example, when I'm taking notes, I'll capture information on the left side. But on the right side, I'll write questions I have about what I'm learning. I'll ask myself questions like how I'm gonna apply it. You know what? The biggest challenge I have with the self-help, personal development industry is that there's this massive lie that's being spread, saying that knowledge is power.

• 57:19Ed Mylett?

  Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself. That's why left and right page here matters. Everybody stay with us on that. That's all thinking is, that's all thought is.

• 57:30Jim Kwik?

  Exactly, and you're capturing your thinking. And even the greatest minds out there, they journal. They're always creative. You know, you think about Leonardo da Vinci, or Marie Curie, like, their journals are worth fortunes.

• 57:41Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 57:42Jim Kwik?

  Right? And it's interesting, asking this question. Is it because they were geniuses? And when I say genius, I don't mean IQ. I mean they're exceptional in their field, right? Whether it's sports, whether it's technology, finance.

• 57:52Ed Mylett?

  It's a form of genius.

• 57:53Jim Kwik?

  Relationships, interpersonal skills, interpersonal communication. Is it because they're geniuses that they're taking all these notes? Or... Is because they're creating all these notes that make them genius.

• 58:03Ed Mylett?

  Boy, why?

• 58:04Jim Kwik?

  And so it's interesting. And so I like to journal. I think that that's extremely important. And the questions, though, to take knowledge and turn to action, three main questions I obsess about.

• 58:13Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 58:13Jim Kwik?

  Number one is, how can I use this?

• 58:16Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 58:16Jim Kwik?

  I ask this all the time because I don't learn for the sake of learning. I learn for the sake of some kind of benefit from me or somebody I care about.

• 58:23Ed Mylett?

  So I'm staying with you. This would be the right side of the page as I'm taking some notes.

• 58:26Jim Kwik?

  Right, so I'm taking notes, but I'm obsessed about it. So even if I'm not writing it down, even when I'm having a conversation with somebody or listening, I'm in a conver- How can I use this?

• 58:33Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 58:34Jim Kwik?

  And this is the creativity part. It's like, oh, wow, these are all the ways I could use this.

• 58:37Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 58:38Jim Kwik?

  And apply this. The second question I ask religiously is after I ask, how can I use this? I'm asking myself, why must I use this? Why must I use this? Because here's the thing, a lot of people know what to do. They don't do what they know. You can't come up with one reason, you're not going to remember. Because reasons reap results.

• 58:56Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 58:56Jim Kwik?

  Reasons reap results. Reasons reap rewards, right? Simon Sinek's "Star with Why."

• 59:01Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 59:02Jim Kwik?

  Right? Always get into this. So ask yourself, why? And the questions make a, that makes all the difference. So first question, how can I use this? And that's the creativity. You come up with all these ideas. Why must I use this?

• 59:12Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 59:13Jim Kwik?

  The reasons why. And then the third question I ask a lot is, when will I use this?

• 59:18Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 59:18Jim Kwik?

  And I think one of the most powerful productivity performance tools there are are calendars, right? It's like that app, calendar app. Or if you keep a physical calendar, that's important because if it's not there, it's not real.

• 59:30Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 59:31Jim Kwik?

  Right? You schedule this in and then it becomes real and it's going to happen.

• 59:34Ed Mylett?

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. All right, welcome back, everybody. Today's really something I've been looking forward to. Let me tell you why. I have only done this twice in my entire life, but I'm watching Netflix a few weeks ago. And I just watched this brilliant piece of art that was not only hilarious, but it inspired me. And I'm watching this man communicate and perform what he's great at doing. And I just see a depth to him and I'm like, I want to talk to this person about his life. I have a feeling this could be one of the most inspiring episodes we've ever done before. And sure enough, I messaged him and about 42 seconds later, he messages me back. And here we are a few weeks later, so.

• 1:00:16David A. Arnold?

  I'm not busy.

• 1:00:17Ed Mylett?

  Two of the busiest human beings on earth. He just literally landed at the airport. And we made this thing happen because I think we both had a sense we should do this together. So, his special is called It Ain't For The Week on Netflix right now. It is gold. 10 out of 10. If there was a higher number, I could give it, I would. You will be laughing the entire time, but you will also leave there different. You will leave there inspired and I'm hoping that happens today as well. David A. Arnold, welcome to the show.

• 1:00:40David A. Arnold?

  Hey, man. I'm so excited to be here, man. You know, it's so funny, literally, because I told my sister I was coming. And she is so excited. She's like, I can't wait. I listen to it all the time. Like, she started firing off all your guests and everything and then she went, what are you doing on there? Like, your family, your family is always the last people to believe in anything that you're doing. But dude, when you hit me and you said what you said in the message, because I get a lot of messages. And, you know, obviously you look at the people who are verified first because you go, okay, they've been through.

• 1:01:13Ed Mylett?

  It might be a real person.

• 1:01:13David A. Arnold?

  Right, exactly. And I looked at it, you know, of course, I went, oh, okay, I know. And then when you get it from somebody who makes a living recognizing certain things. It's different than, oh, you're funny. It's a different type of compliment than, oh, you're funny.

• 1:01:30Ed Mylett?

  I know exactly what you mean.

• 1:01:31David A. Arnold?

  It hits you in a deeper space.

• 1:01:34Ed Mylett?

  Well, your stuff hits me that way. I mean, I just mean it. And by the way, all the way back, I watched Fat Ballerina, your previous special. And I was watching with my wife, like, this guy is brilliant. How come I don't know him? Right? And that's kind of where I want to start. What does it look like when you start creating material all the way to the special? How many hours go into this? When are you writing? When do the concepts come up? How many sets do you have to do to where you're like, this is tight now? I own this. This is the creative process to have one special. Because I think the other thing that's underestimated is just the amount of. Precise grinding and working required to become outstanding at what you do.

• 1:02:09David A. Arnold?

  Yes.

• 1:02:09Ed Mylett?

  That part of the process.

• 1:02:11David A. Arnold?

  Yeah, that's a great question. You know, every comedian is different. Some people comedians would like to go, I don't write nothing down. It's all, you know, I'm not that person. I'm not that good. I, my bits come from being in the moment and living and having the experiences.

• 1:02:25Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 1:02:26David A. Arnold?

  You know.

• 1:02:26Ed Mylett?

  But are you in the experience, Mr. Kershaw, are you in the experience going, this could be a bit?

• 1:02:29David A. Arnold?

  Yes.

• 1:02:29Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 1:02:30David A. Arnold?

  I'm all, comedians are very, you know, introverted people. We, we're very on top of everything we're thinking and feeling. Like everything, like all the information that comes at us, as it's coming to us, we're evaluating and giving our opinion on it in our head. Like, so any interaction with you, my wife, the, like constantly, that's just where I'm at, right? And so like for me, when I started going out and working out for, to do It Ain't For The Week.

• 1:03:00David A. Arnold?

  I went, I think we did, I want to say we did thirty cities, which is comedy clubs. And you know, I do five shows a weekend. So you take that thirty times five, it's about a hundred and fifty sets, right? An hour and twenty minutes is normally what I'm on stage doing. And, you know, you do this again and again and again, and I record all of my material. I record every set that I do. And I go back and when I'm on the treadmill or I'm in the gym the next day working out, I listen to it. So I can go, oh, that's good. Nope, that's no good. I don't need that. Get that. Like, it's work. It's a process. And that's, I do it again. It's reps. It's like, you know, it's like how you get tone. Again, again, again, again, again. Like, that's literally it.

• 1:03:41Ed Mylett?

  I think the tolerance for that is for very few people, brother. I mean, this is everything, like, even salespeople that are listening to this right now, like, do you, are you that on your presentation? Are you that on your clothes? Are you that on your nuance? I even watch you where you go, huh, huh. Even some of your, some of your transfers of your laughing and the rhythm and how you keep it together. Chappelle bumped that mic on his leg, right? Like, these are little things that if you're watching the best of the best, you should be breaking them down in the subtleties of what they do. Sebastian Maniscalco will go, not go very long, me too, won't go that very long until he moves his. Body a particular way, right?

• 1:04:14David A. Arnold?

  Right.

• 1:04:14Ed Mylett?

  Not a standstill guy.

• 1:04:16David A. Arnold?

  Right.

• 1:04:16Ed Mylett?

  So, but in every career, it's the precision. It's, it's Nick Saban for Alabama says, we don't practice until we get it right. We practice until we can't get it wrong.

• 1:04:26David A. Arnold?

  That's right.

• 1:04:26Ed Mylett?

  And it's just a different standard of the best. And, and, and David, you guys is the best.

• 1:04:31David A. Arnold?

  Thank you.

• 1:04:32Ed Mylett?

  For me right now, it's the best set that I've watched maybe ever, but certainly as long as I can, as long as I can recall.

• 1:04:40David A. Arnold?

  That, that, you know what? I tell like, cause I teach one of the largest standup comedy classes in the country.

• 1:04:45Ed Mylett?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:04:46David A. Arnold?

  And I've been doing it for 10 years and I stopped doing it during the pandemic. Uh, I have well over 300 plus people on my waiting list. And I'm about to do a seminar, I haven't done it in two years. I'm about to do it in like it next month and we're just doing two days and I miss it. Because I love talking about the art of standup. You know, and one of the things that I tell people when I do my standup, it's, it's my, it's, it's in my muscle. It's in my muscle memory. Like when I start to do material and I start to tell stories, I'm in a certain place when I hit this joke. When I'm like, there's, it, it becomes that where it's locked in, but there's still enough room for me to be David. There's still enough room for it to be the same, but it's a little different.

• 1:05:29Ed Mylett?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:05:30David A. Arnold?

  You know what I mean? And so like even now, like working on, I'm working, like the night I did, it ain't for the week. That night I have not done any of that material since that night.

• 1:05:38Ed Mylett?

  Is that right?

• 1:05:38David A. Arnold?

  Not one joke. And the next day, the next week I was on to, and I'm doing a new tour called Pace Yourself now. And I've been out, we're doing 30 more cities.

• 1:05:47Ed Mylett?

  Go see him.

• 1:05:47David A. Arnold?

  And I literally have not done one, and I'm doing a whole new hour and 20 minutes. Now, this is the benefit. This comes from having done standup for 28 years under the radar. Nobody's seen me.

• 1:06:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02David A. Arnold?

  So they don't know that I'm like this. This caged animal that's been working forever and now I'm finally getting a chance to run out in the wild.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  It's amazing to me.

• 1:06:14David A. Arnold?

  You know?

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  It's one of the best stories ever because it, you know, although you have had this financial success you were talking about.

• 1:06:19David A. Arnold?

  Sure.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  This notion of all this time under the radar to be that good. Now let me ask you this. By the way, one little lesson he said there, just want to add everyone, just so that everyone's listening. I think you gotta be obsessed. So like, it's really, comedy's really never off for you. Like, you're with your family, you're present.

• 1:06:32David A. Arnold?

  Right, yes.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  But like, you're still looking for your craft in it.

• 1:06:35David A. Arnold?

  I can't help it.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Right, that's the greats at anything, like.

• 1:06:38David A. Arnold?

  Yeah, I can't help it.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  By the way, you entrepreneurs, like, there's healthy obsessions in life.

• 1:06:42David A. Arnold?

  Sure.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  And like, so no matter what I'm ever doing, when I'm watching someone do something, I'm watching them speak, I'm wa- I'm looking for a business clue, I'm watching a television, like, that strategy would work in this business I've got. It's never far from me. I'm always amazed by people say, I want to be the best, or I want to be great, or I want to be a millionaire.

• 1:06:58David A. Arnold?

  Yes.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  Yet, they're willing to escape their craft for long periods of time.

• 1:07:03David A. Arnold?

  No, I can't do it.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  And me either. And then, I'm on vacation, I'm still sort of in my mode, looking at people, picking up stuff, that would be inspiring, that might be a business I could solve. That problem with this product, it's always there.

• 1:07:15David A. Arnold?

  Yes, always. As, when you, because it's who you are.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:20David A. Arnold?

  And you can't, when it's, when it, when what you do is who you are, you can't turn it off.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26David A. Arnold?

  You know what I mean? Like, I can't, like, my, my family knows when they're around me, they're like, here he goes. Dad, don't start. Like, if I pull out my phone and start texting while they're talking, I'll be there like, don't, uh-uh, that's not gonna be a bit. Like, they know when it hits me in the moment, like, because I, I see life through a diff- comedians, we see life through a lens that civilians do not.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:48David A. Arnold?

  That's just how we're wi- I've been wired like that now. I, the more, some, unfortunately, the more tragic it is, the quicker comedy comes to us. Like, we've had friends who have died in the, in the, in the comedy community that passed away. If you were on some of these text threads.

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  Seriously.

• 1:08:06David A. Arnold?

  With us comedians, it's dark.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  Right away.

• 1:08:09David A. Arnold?

  Eme- like, everybody's waiting for, how long before we can, like, how long, well, what, do we just, can you see the funeral home behind you in the rearview mirror? Let's go. Like, we start, like. And knowing that the comedian who passed away, if they were here, would be on that thread.

• 1:08:26Ed Mylett?

  They'd be laughing their ass off.

• 1:08:27David A. Arnold?

  Exactly. It's just who we are.

• 1:08:28Ed Mylett?

  I remember when Norm died. And like immediately, good friends of mine, I was on some threads with them. I'm like, wow, this quickly, geez, my God. We're gonna talk about his gambling right now.

• 1:08:37David A. Arnold?

  No Bob Saget, who I had a chance to work with, same thing.

• 1:08:40Ed Mylett?

  Like, right away.

• 1:08:42David A. Arnold?

  But it's just because it's in us, it's who we are. And if you are a salesman, if you, whatever you do, if you work, if you're a trainer, if you are a nutritionist, you see life through a different lens. You just, like, you, you, somebody will bring you a, what could look like a beautiful meal to me, and a nutritionist will look at that and go, all the sodium, look at all, like, something I will never see.

• 1:09:09Ed Mylett?

  Yep, exactly right. Yep, those are people that are great. Those are people that are great. I'm just telling you, this whole thing in personal development right now, it's like, you need to be present where you are. I completely believe that. That doesn't mean, like, you probably have this too, even with my kids. Like, I do sometimes, I need to consciously put this phone down. And just be in their presence. But at the same time, I never escape who I am, even in those moments. I might not type at that minute, I'm going, now, this would be something inspiring.

• 1:09:35David A. Arnold?

  And I gotta hold on to it.

• 1:09:36Ed Mylett?

  Like, I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm not, it's not coming off. And I think people take this stuff too literally, where they, like, escape their business or their craft. Like, this is part of, like, I don't, when I'm dead, I would like to be remembered for some of these things someday, right? That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow The Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.

• 1:09:57Jay Shetty?

  This quote by Thomas Edison said, "When you feel you've exhausted all options, remember this: you haven't."

• 1:10:07Ed Mylett?

  I love that.

• 1:10:07Jay Shetty?

  That's the power of one more. And so I have lived this book in my life. Like, I have lived this mindset, and it has changed my life, because I've always been just one step away, one habit away, one mindset away, from this amazing life that I'm grateful and blessed to live.

• 1:10:24Ed Mylett?

  Well, that's the truth, right? You're right. And I think the great lie in life is that, you know, some scriptures say, well, where there's no vision, the people will perish.

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  Whatever your scriptures are, is it really, do you have no vision? If you ask the average person, you wanna be happy or sad, what's your vision? They'd say, I wanna be happy. You wanna be rich or poor? Most people say, I'd like to be rich. Do you wanna contribute or make no difference in the world? I wanna contribute. Do you want beautiful memories or no memories? I want memories. So there's a vision. Our issue is depth perception. We think it's further away than it is. And because we think it's so far away, Jay, we create patterns and behaviors in our life that perpetually keep it there.

• 1:11:00Jay Shetty?

  Ooh.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  And that's what we do in our life. But what if that's the great lie of life? And what if the truth is that you're one relationship away, one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy away from completely changing the trajectory of your life? And everyone that you and I know that we both work with, that we're blessed to work with in our lives, the truth is, it was one decision, one meeting, one extra rep, one more phone call, one thing they did that changed their trajectory. Then the question then becomes, how do I do it? And so the strategies are in the book. But conceptually, that's 100% how you change your life.

• 1:11:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and you're so right. I was thinking about this this morning. Last year, I had a double hernia surgery on the front. Like, so I couldn't walk for about a month. And when I say couldn't walk, I mean like I literally couldn't move. It was like, I was like, I felt like I was teaching myself to walk again. Like, that's how it felt. It's really interesting what you just said about how we perpetually push it far away. I would wake up every morning and my mind or my initial mindset was like, it will be gone today. It must have gone today. Like, today it will be fully healed. I'll be fine today. And I would wake up and I wouldn't be. And I would feel like healing was so far away.

• 1:12:26Jay Shetty?

  It would be like 80% away that I was missing out on the 1% change since yesterday.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  You got it.

• 1:12:33Jay Shetty?

  Since yesterday, I made 1% change. I wasn't feeling the same pain in my nerves. I was able to be flexible by 1% more. And I was missing out on all of That because I'm so obsessed with how far I was.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  That's the journey. And the thing, and what happens is when you live with an expectation that these one mores exist, the reticular activating system in your mind filters them into your awareness. I call it the matrix in the second chapter of the book. When you wake up believing, hey, I'm one decision away, I'm one meeting away, one relationship away. That's not hokey. Your mind begins to filter the people, places and things into your awareness. You've developed something called sensory acuity. You hear conversations you weren't hearing. We've all had that experience where we're on an airplane, I can't stop hearing these people over here. Or you walk in a loud room, but you can hear your own name auditorily over all the other names in the room. That's because it's important to you and it matters. You see things. And so when something becomes important to you and you believe it to be true,

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  the R A S goes to proving it for you. And where I learned this ironically, I talk about in the book is my father was an alcoholic and had tried to get sober many, many times. And I'll never forget it, Jay, we were driving to a baseball game at mine. My dad started crying, I'd never seen my dad cry before. And he pulls the car over and he still isn't looking at me, but he's crying and he says, Eddie. And then he turns to me and he goes, I'm gonna try to get sober. And I'll never forget this, brother, he goes, one more time. And I said, really daddy? He goes, I'm gonna give it one more try. And I said to him, I said, why would this be any different this time? And he said, never said this to me before, he goes, because I, I love you

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  and you deserve it, father, you can be proud of, and you can't be proud of me right now. And I think every great thing we do in life is one away, but it's also born from love. To talk about your book, when you love people or you love something so deeply, if that love is greater than what the obstacles might be, now you got a shot to do it. Then my dad gets sober, he comes home from rehab. I say, daddy, are you never gonna drink again? And he said, I can't promise you that. I can promise you, I'm not gonna drink for one more day at a time.

• 1:14:43Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  And he lasted the rest of his life stacking those one more days up. And so I know the power of one more. And Jay, the other thing, I also know humans can change. I watched my hero do it. I watched my dad live my first 15 years. So I'm in a lot of fights.

• 1:14:59Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  Lot of lying, lot of difficult times. And then I saw this man transform. And in life, we're most qualified to help the person we used to be. And what we think in life, and I hope everybody gets this, we think the things we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by, our divorce, our bankruptcy, or maybe we've just always been average and ordinary. This disqualifies me from being successful and happy. What if, that's not true. What if the hardest things of your life are the very things that qualify you? I'll give you an example. You know, my dad got sober? Somebody helped him. My dad was gonna take his life or lose his family. And I didn't know who it was till months ago. Some precious human being whom I didn't know. In my dad's darkest hour of his life, Jay, said, I'll help you. I'll help you. Little did that person know, I'd be his son.

• 1:15:45Speaker 02

  And I'd help millions of people and I'd be on Jay Shetty Show and we both helped millions of people. And the more ironic thing that this person helped my dad is what qualified them to help my dad? They were a drunk. They were an alcoholic. They at one time were a drug addict. They at one time were lying and stealing and living in the shadows. The very thing that person probably figured, that disqualifies me from having a successful life, was the one thing that did qualify them to help my dad. So if you're listening to this and you've had something you're ashamed of, or a failure, a setback, you're most qualified to help the people you used to be. And that person, that alcoholism they suffered with their drug addiction, helped my dad live those one more days forever.

• 1:16:25Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that, that is the best explanation I've heard. Of how pain turns into purpose.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:16:32Jay Shetty?

  The thing that brought you down, that broke you down, that made you feel like you were losing everything.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:16:39Jay Shetty?

  Gave you back everything when you used that to serve the people that were struggling with it.

• 1:16:43Speaker 02

  And then there's, then there's a purpose. And you know, if you can survive the temporary pain in your life, and all pain is temporary. I watched my father pass away last year. He was in tremendous pain. Even our bodies are temporary. Only our souls are permanent. If you can survive the temporary, on the other side of temporary pain, you meet another version of yourself, another insight about yourself. And that's why it's so important to grow as a person, because the more we grow and become a new person, we can help those that used to be like us. And that's why you and I are so addicted to growing and learning and we're curious, because if you used to be a broken person and you no longer are quite as broken, you can help broken people. If you used to be broke financially and you no longer are, you can help people. Whatever you do for a living, at one time you didn't know about it and now you do, you can help those who need to know about it.

• 1:17:28Speaker 02

  And so you're immensely qualified if you understand the power of doing one more.

• 1:17:33Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love it. I love it. Tell me about, so let's say, and you probably come up against this all the time. A lot of the people say, okay, I'm gonna practice that. I'm with you, Ed. I love you and Jay. I'm, I'm listening and I go, yes, I'm gonna practice the power of one more. Now, what I find, and this is why you're so great at teaching this, because you're not teaching it as a gimmick, a glitch, or like a little, a little affirmation. This is like real, it makes sense. Like it works. People get so tied to the result, that when they try it the next day, and the sales meeting doesn't go their way.

• 1:18:08Speaker 02

  They give up.

• 1:18:09Jay Shetty?

  Or the pitch doesn't go their way. They go, ah, it doesn't work.

• 1:18:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:12Jay Shetty?

  It doesn't work. Why didn't it work? And how should we respond when we fail or get rejected the next day?

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  Well, it didn't work because you're so attached to the outcome. I coach a lot of athletes. I know you do as well. And one of the things, it's a really nuanced thing in life. It's great to have goals. You should have goals. I wanna do this or that. But in the moment of execution, you have to separate from outcome in the moment that you're executing and just be present and exist. I talk about this in the book. Here's what I would say, if you're gonna win long term. Ninety-five percent of people have a operating system in their mind where they operate out of history and memory.

• 1:18:45Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, oh, I like that.

• 1:18:46Speaker 02

  And about five percent of humans operate out of vision and imagination. So, the reason we're so much happier, I believe, when we're children is we have no history and memory. So, we operate out of imagination and dreams and vision. But at some age, some people, it's five years old, some it's eight, some it's eighteen, some it's twenty-eight, they create a history and that history then becomes the operating system. So, even if they take on a new behavior or tactic, they're operating out of a pattern of thought and belief that's historic and memory-based. And so, the number-one thing I would say is begin to operate out of your imagination again, out of your vision again. Create from that place. If you create from that place, now you're not tied to the result in that moment, you're

• 1:19:28Speaker 02

  giving yourself space to imagine and create something new in your life.

• 1:19:32Jay Shetty?

  That, I've never heard that in that language, man. That is so powerful. You're so right about as kids, that we don't have any memory or history, so we don't have any blocks, we don't have any limits.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  And begin to listen to the people around you. People say, "Hey, you're the product of who you hang around. How do I know if they serve me or not?" Here's one way to just deduce this, because they could be beautiful people who care about you and they might even support you. But when you're with them, what are you, you ever have those friends, you're with them, you're like, "You remember when, you remember, you remember, remember that party, remember that thing?" And if your friends are constantly bringing you to the filtration system of memory and history all the time, think this through, how often are those friends saying, "Hey, what are you working on now? Where are you going? What's your vision? What do you want to create?" And maybe that sounds hokey, but you and I have some of the, some of our, both our friends have the most amazing histories and you can't get them to talk about them. You have to work, because what are they still doing?

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  They're talking about now and where they're going. Their viewpoint in their life is being present. And having a vision for the future.

• 1:20:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:35Speaker 02

  A formula for misery, a formula for lack of creativity, lack of productivity, is constantly being history and memory.

• 1:20:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:42Speaker 02

  Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us. And for most of us, it's not good. And we keep living from it or trying to move away from it. Create a new future, don't move away from the past. Create a brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant vision for your life.

• 1:20:58Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that. Yeah, we're always trying to create the same past.

• 1:21:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:21:03Jay Shetty?

  As opposed to a new future.

• 1:21:04Speaker 02

  A new future.

• 1:21:05Jay Shetty?

  And I find that what's really interesting about that, all the studies show that nostalgia makes us believe that the past was more phenomenal than it actually was. If you remember that party you went to at college, it's better in your memory than it actually was. If you actually could have gone back and remembered how you felt hungover and what you broke a bone or whatever happened, but now in your memory, it's beautiful.

• 1:21:28Speaker 02

  Beautiful, beautiful.

• 1:21:29Jay Shetty?

  Right? So our memory also is slightly warped of the past.

• 1:21:32Speaker 02

  No question.

• 1:21:32Jay Shetty?

  It can make things feel much better or much worse sometimes.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  No question.

• 1:21:36Jay Shetty?

  But what's, what's really coming out for me right now is this idea that it's, it's something you said a couple of moments ago and, and it sparked a thought for me. I remember the story that Vanessa Bryant told about Kobe Bryant after he passed away. I was fortunate enough to interview him around three months before it, before his tragic passing. And she told this story and she said that Kobe would play through every injury. He would play through every pain. He would play through everything, even when the doctors and his coaches would say, stop playing. And she asked him, she said once, why he still plays. Right? Again, going back to our curiosity, not assuming you know your partner. She asked him, why do you still play?

• 1:22:20Jay Shetty?

  And this is just her and him. There's no cameras, there's no, she's telling this story, but at the time it was just them two. He said it's because there's someone who's paid for a ticket today. They saved up and this is the only time they're ever gonna be able to come. Maybe a son's, maybe a dad's brought his kid, maybe someone's come to the game. They're a lifelong fan and they came today and today's the only day they're gonna get to see me. And if I say I'm injured, they won't get to see me.

• 1:22:48Speaker 02

  So awesome.

• 1:22:49Jay Shetty?

  So I'm gonna play so that that person gets to see me play and then he goes and wins.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:22:55Jay Shetty?

  And it's like, that's love.

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  That's love.

• 1:22:57Jay Shetty?

  That's what you were saying.

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  Love for something is in the present moment also, right? Love is not just for the past. And it's funny how important one day is, man. When my dad got sick, my dad got cancer. When he first got sick, he goes, hey, my dad was a dude. He goes, look, I'll fight this one time. Okay, I'll do your little chemo and your surgery, but I'm not gonna pour poison into my body. I'm not gonna lose my hair. I'm not gonna deteriorate. I'll give this thing a shot once, but doesn't work, I'm out. That led to eight years of him fighting it.

• 1:23:26Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 1:23:27Speaker 02

  Chemo, radiation, proton therapy, surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo. And he did lose his hair and he was in pain. And I'd say to my dad, I'd say, Dad, you're suffering so much. You said you wouldn't suffer. He said, no, Eddie, I'm in pain, but I'm not suffering. I, I choose not to suffer and I'm not suffering because I get to see my grandkids again. And I said, Dad, why are you doing this? And he said, you only understand the power of one day when you're threatened with never having another one. I'll do anything for one more day, get to be with you one more time. Give your mom a kiss one more time. Maybe I'll see one of my granddaughters get married. And he goes, I'll do anything for one more day.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  The beautiful thing is, I was actually with Kobe a week before he passed away. We were in the same gym. Our daughters played volleyball. And ironically, that day, I watched Kobe walk out of the gym. There's only a couple dads left. It was late at night. He stayed and I stayed and he had his youngest daughter in his arm and he was rubbing his other daughter's back. And I remember taking note of it because I was with Bella at the other end of the gym. And I remember thinking, I don't hug Bella enough. I need to hug, no joke, bro, it's in the book. I went, I gotta hug Bella one more time every day, not just once a day, plus one more time every day. My daughter's gonna get extra hugs because Kobe does that.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  What if I could have said to Kobe when he got in his car, Kobe, you have one more week, brother. Tell those that you love, you love them. Get it right. Whoever matters to you, make it right. Call your dad. Make it right. Call your mom. Call your family. What if the day before you could have said, Kobe, you have one day left? And my dad, same thing. I was with my dad when he had one day left. I was with my dad when he had one hour left. I was with my dad when he had one breath left. And when we begin to think of our life that way, the power of right now and having one more moment and one more minute is so beautiful. It's so blessed. It's so big. It's so amazing. Why would we spend that minute in history?

• 1:25:34Speaker 02

  Why would we spend that minute in the past when we could be fully present in creating the future? And so, you know, I think most people think, Jay, everyone else is gonna die. I think they just, I'm never, I'm not gonna die. Or they go, I'll get around to being happy. I'll get around to making my masterpiece of my life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm gonna get around to fixing this relationship that's broken. I'm gonna get around to feeling those emotions. And then it's another day and another day, and they keep it in the distance until there are no more days. And I don't care if you're 18 years old, listening to this, 28 or 48. We don't know if we have one more day or 100 more days or 1,000 more days.

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  But we know this, there'll eventually be a time where we don't have any more days. And so why would we spend the ones that are coming, looking at the past? And so my dad really taught me those lessons in watching him pass away. And that's why I have so, I have a whole thing in there of how to get 21 days a week. Run many days. I get 21 days a week. We still measure time, bro, like it's 1900. Think about 1900. If I wanted to get you a note, I'd have to write a letter out, stick it on the back of a horse's butt in 1850. 30 days later, you get it. That was a 24-hour day. Now I can text you in two seconds. We measure time the same way. So I teach you how to change your time so that you can make that day its maximum bliss. It's maximum productivity.

• 1:26:57Jay Shetty?

  What's, what's one more that you're working on right now?

• 1:27:01Ed Mylett?

  Right now, I'm actually, it's an interesting season of my life. I have a TV show that you know that I did with NBC that's called Change that I think is, you know, has a chance of getting picked up. But my one more that I'm working on right now for me and my life is my peace. And so there's this guy Jay Shetty, that's a friend of mine that introduced me and my family to meditation. And I'm giving myself the gift of, I don't just do it in the morning now. I've given myself the gift of one more time every single day of just emptying my mind and trying to be fully present. And it's been work for me. I've got that busy type of a mind. But I have found that my peace in my life, most of us Jay, have all these goals of things we want to do and they're wonderful.

• 1:27:46Ed Mylett?

  And I believe in doing that. I think standards are more important than goals because, and I teach you in this book, how to set the standards that'll get those goals. But we really don't, but we really don't want the jet. We don't want the hit song. We don't want the amazing relationship. We don't want the million dollars. We don't want the, we want how we think it'll make us feel. And what if we began to become more intentional and outcome oriented about the things we feel in our life? And it took me a while, but now that I'm older, when I feel strong, when I feel blissful, when I feel peaceful, is when I produce the physical things that I want, not the other way around. And so my one more's are more emotional focus. Most of us, and I'll come up for air here, have an emotional home. There's three or four or five emotions we experience on a regular basis. I write about it in the book.

• 1:28:31Ed Mylett?

  And no matter what happens, we find a way, even if they don't serve us, to get those emotions. If your emotional home is fear, anxiety, worry, depression, anger, you find a way every week to get that emotion. But what if that emotional home could become bliss and peace and joy and creativity and ecstasy? And so I'm working on one more beautiful emotion for my emotional home and for me it's peace.

• 1:28:55Jay Shetty?

  I love that. I love that answer, man. It's, it's good to hear about what you've been saying, like we're not living in the past and you're like in the present, but to have you answer that question. That peace is your presence, like that's what you're looking for.

• 1:29:07Ed Mylett?

  Right now.

• 1:29:08Jay Shetty?

  That's the present and it shows that you're using this like it works. You're doing it time and time again. And I love what you said. It moves from the physical things into the subtle, into the emotional, into the deeper. I think that's so profound. What was that one more that if you didn't do it, you wouldn't be here today? What was, what was one of those ones that like, ah, like that was the one that convinced me, apart from obviously your father, that you were like, ah, if I didn't do that, I wouldn't be Ed Mylett today, I wouldn't be max out live.

• 1:29:35Ed Mylett?

  The first, the first business I built was a financial business and I had had some success, Jay, like a lot of people do in life. And then it went backwards. And sometimes you get up the flagpole just a little bit and you come back down. That's an emotional difficulty. Could be a relationship that was good, that's gone, or maybe it saved some money, it's gone. Maybe you lost a bunch of weight and got fit and you gained it back. For me, it was my business and I called my dad. It was a pretty wise guy now that he was sober. And, uh, cause I could tell you, man, I'd do one more rep in the gym. I haven't done 10 reps on a bench press in 30 years. I've done 10 plus one more a lot though. I haven't done 45 minutes on a treadmill, but I've done 45 plus one more minute. 10 contacts a day, never 10 plus one more. But the biggest one more was actually something else.

• 1:30:18Ed Mylett?

  I called my dad and I said, hey dad, uh, it's not going. It's, the business is crashing and I'm, I'm running out of money. Our power was turned off, our water was turned off, Jay. We had to take my wife every morning. We'd lost our house. We're living in an apartment now, then the water got turned off. You can't cook, you can't bathe. There was a apartment building, we had an outdoor shower at the swimming pool. And I'd have to, we were newlyweds and I'd have to get up every morning, walk down there and I'd hold a towel up while my wife took her shower every day outdoors and brush her teeth. And then she'd switch and hold the towel up for me. And I'd walk back up to the apartment and I was so emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed.

• 1:31:01Ed Mylett?

  And I was living a nightmare, selling a dream to everybody every day. We can do this. A lot of entrepreneurs or people can relate in their life. And, and anyway, I called my dad that night and I said, I, I think I need to pack it in. I need to go get a job and just, um, this success thing is not, it's not for people like us. And my dad goes, Eddie, you don't have to decide you're never gonna quit.

• 1:31:28Speaker 02

  He goes, "Just don't quit for one more day. See how you feel tomorrow." I go, "Dad." He goes, "Just don't do it for one more day." And I got the next day and I still wanted to quit, but not quite as much. And then I went one more day and one more day and I found myself about thirty days later, I didn't want to quit anymore. And thank God, the one more I did was, I went one more day without quitting. And I'm so grateful I didn't quit on my dream.

• 1:31:50Jay Shetty?

  Oh, Ed, wow, that is like, oh my gosh, man, like, you just, everything you're just dropping right now, I'm just like, I hope everyone is taking notes. If you haven't been taking notes, I want you to take a screenshot right now of where we're at right now, because that's what you're gonna have to listen to again. So take a screenshot, share it, tell everyone to go to this segment, listen to that over again, because I think what I'm hearing, you know, is that this is, this is a lifestyle. Like, this is a mindset, it's a lifestyle, it's an everyday, every moment way to live. This isn't just in the big business you're building. This is me telling my wife I love her one more time. This is me making sure I message my mom one more time. It's me making sure that when I'm sitting here with you, I'm always gonna have to ask you one more question.

• 1:32:35Speaker 02

  I will never end.

• 1:32:36Jay Shetty?

  You keep giving so much, no, but you keep giving so, well, that's what you just said, it will never end. I think that people feel like they tried a lot, and then they start building up resentment and like pain and bitterness towards that path. And a lot of people also that I know, they just think that there are some people that are meant to be.

• 1:32:57Speaker 02

  I agree with this.

• 1:32:58Jay Shetty?

  And then there are some people that are not meant to be.

• 1:33:02Speaker 02

  That's correct.

• 1:33:02Jay Shetty?

  And they carry that with them and it comes from this like, "Oh yeah, you were meant to be this," or "That person was meant to have it." But for me, this is where, and I heard that kind of come up in what you were saying to your dad, like, it doesn't happen to people like us. How does this rule, how does this principle apply to someone who's in that space?

• 1:33:19Speaker 02

  Brother, best question ever. Because I grew up with no, you have an alcoholic dad or a drug addict, or maybe you come from divorce, or maybe your parents just didn't love you enough, whatever it was, didn't tell you they loved you enough. It's hard to have self-confidence. I was a little guy, I got bullied in school and... I just, and even at this age now, bro, I, if I'm being completely honest, self-confidence, we all teach that it's, you know, part of keeping the promises you make to yourself. But what if you raise the standard a little higher? You keep the promises you make to yourself, plus one more. Because for me, self-confidence didn't come easy. I think in life, ultimately, you're gonna get what you believe you deserve. And if you're wound up, wired like me, I didn't think I deserved a lot.

• 1:34:02Speaker 02

  I didn't even have a dad who could stop drinking, right? I wasn't six foot four. I don't have an incredibly high IQ. There's nothing really that impressive about me, nor were people very impressed with me most of my life. So that was my pattern, that was my history, that was my memory. And so the only, I could wait around until I developed tremendous self-confidence, or I could begin to do things every day that were small, they're not major. And over time, when I did those one more calls, that one more meeting, that one more book I read, that one more podcast, not only am I doing more reps, so the likelihood of me being successful is bigger, but I started to convince myself, I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do.

• 1:34:46Speaker 02

  Maybe I deserve things other people aren't gonna get. And slowly but surely, I started to convince myself I did deserve it based on what I was doing, not necessarily the caliber of my talent.

• 1:34:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:59Speaker 02

  That was the difference.

• 1:34:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you, you just, there's a thought I've been having recently, and it's that comfort creates self-care. But discomfort creates self-respect.

• 1:35:10Speaker 02

  Oof, boy, I love that.

• 1:35:11Jay Shetty?

  Right? Like, it's what you're saying.

• 1:35:12Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 1:35:13Jay Shetty?

  That the one more discomfort every day, that's where self-respect comes from.

• 1:35:18Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:35:18Jay Shetty?

  You don't.

• 1:35:19Speaker 02

  Great term.

• 1:35:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you don't, you don't start to trust yourself, or build self-esteem, or believe in yourself, because you just say it to yourself. It's coming, what you just said, you go out there and take one more meeting and see what you learn. You go out there and take one more risk, one more discomfort.

• 1:35:34Speaker 02

  And I guarantee you, if you have a successful or happy friend, whichever how you determine that, and you ask them this, they'd tell you that we're right.

• 1:35:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:42Speaker 02

  They would tell you, gosh, that's right, it's right. And the difference between winning and losing, happiness and sadness, is so small, it's almost, it's almost scary to talk about. But the good news is, I think I kinda know what it is, and it's this one more.

• 1:35:55Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. The people that I know that are the most successful and happy. Have more uncomfortable conversations.

• 1:36:01Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 1:36:02Jay Shetty?

  They have more uncomfortable days. They have more discomfort in their lives.

• 1:36:05Speaker 02

  Yes, totally agree with that.

• 1:36:06Jay Shetty?

  But selected discomfort. But one of the other things that I'm asking from now, I'm like going into like the people that I know that that I'm thinking about and can see their faces and and I want them to know that I'm asking for them. A lot of the time, one more in the wrong direction.

• 1:36:23Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:36:24Jay Shetty?

  Can also be really misguided.

• 1:36:28Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:36:29Jay Shetty?

  Sometimes, uh, people, and I know you're a person of faith too, and so so we can touch on this. Sometimes we're climbing the mountain and we keep doing one more.

• 1:36:39Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:36:40Jay Shetty?

  But we're actually going further away from who we are, who we wanna be. Our faith, our partners, right? We've we know people who've built multi-billion dollar companies but lost their kids.

• 1:36:52Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:36:53Jay Shetty?

  Or they've become famous and rich, but they've uh their partner cheated on them. Or you know, like really painful stuff. And you know, people who didn't do all of that, that's happened too. Like it's it's both ways. How does one use one more and make sure it's in the right direction?

• 1:37:08Speaker 02

  Such a great question. I I'm doing this now regularly because I've made some of those mistakes of just. And what I do is I check in with myself one more time. Meaning it's important to ask yourself, what matters to me now? See, if you we had this conversation twenty years ago, the things that mattered to me then are so different than what mattered to me now. But a lot of us keep operating out of what used to. Maybe you've achieved or pursuing a dream and it's really truly no longer your dream. It's no longer your dream. It's when I was young, listen, if we're gonna do a podcast, you say, hey, I need you on the show. People are gonna love you, you're gonna get recognition, you're gonna get you're gonna get all this acknowledgement. And that would have been my hot button, my need, you know, I believe in the six human needs.

• 1:37:52Speaker 02

  My need was significance and recognition and there's nothing wrong with that. It's wonderful. And so that's the button to get me to move would be significance, recognition. Well, I've been blessed the last thirty years or so of my life to have a beautiful abundance of significance and recognition. It's no longer what fills me. Now you get me to do an interview, you go, hey, I really think we could help some people. My big button in my life now is contribution. There was another stage in my life, it's still there, but hey, if you go there, you'll grow. I still wanna grow, but I know me now. Right now, I'm in a season of my life that's contribution. It's giving, it's what fills my heart. And I think it's checking in with yourself one more time. What matters to me now? What do I want now?

• 1:38:37Speaker 02

  What's important to me now? What season? Maybe you're in a season where you need to rest. Maybe your spirit and everything about you is telling you, hey, it's time to feed you again, it's time to recharge. If that's the season, then answer that call. Don't play out of a past playbook. And so for me, that's the season I'm in now. And I'm sure that in five or eight more years, you know, there'll be something else. But I regularly, on a monthly basis, you recommend it in your book so beautifully about your relationship, checking in, you have these strategies you teach about weekly and monthly and quarterly and yearly with your partner of checking in with them. I also recommend you check in with yourself. What matters to you now? And so for me, it's a matter of checking in now so that I don't lose my family in the pursuit of my business. Or lose me.

• 1:39:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:22Speaker 02

  Lose me, who am I anymore? And I've had times where I'm like, this doesn't feel like me anymore.

• 1:39:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:30Speaker 02

  And I had at least the ability to at least acknowledge that and make a change.

• 1:39:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I love that you brought up seasons because I feel like no one, and on planet Earth, we don't have the power to change the season. But you have the power to live the season well.

• 1:39:46Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:39:46Jay Shetty?

  You can either be in the, right now, it's been raining, right? Wherever we are. It's been pouring down with rain, there's all this effort. You could carry an umbrella. Well, you can tell how I'm dressed. I'm definitely not dressed in my usual gear.

• 1:39:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:39:58Jay Shetty?

  Because I'm dressed for the rain, I'm prepared.

• 1:39:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:40:00Jay Shetty?

  Because that's all I can do. I can't make the rain switch off. I can't stop it, right? Like, I can't do that. And so I love hearing that you're just learning how to thrive in the season. And so if your season's telling you to rest, you can't force the season. And you have to live it through, you have to experience.

• 1:40:17Speaker 02

  You know, I think you have to remember one thing, man. I think it's as easy as a person to forget this. And I just would love to say this because you have such an amazing reach.

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