Rose Byrne

Rose Byrne (If I Had Legs I Would Kick You, Damages, Neighbors) is an Emmy Award-nominated actor. Rose joins the Armchair Expert to discuss being rejected from every drama school she applied to in Australia, not having the confidence to discern between early roles, and whether she identifies as a people pleaser. Rose and Dax talk about playing the straight man in Bridesmaids, getting into a loose comedic rhythm with longtime collaborator Seth Rogan, and her improv baptism by fire making Get Him to the Greek. Rose explains how much she enjoys seeing a comedic actor do a dramatic part, accepting as she gets older that we all need to dance around the apartment more, and throwing herself deeply into her grueling new film If I Had Legs I Would Kick You. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Today, we have one of my all time favorite actors. I've been, I've been singing her praises for a long time now.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  She's so good.

• 0:13Dax Shepard?

  Because she does this thing that very few people can do, which is perfect comedian, perfect dramatic actor.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 0:19Dax Shepard?

  Rose Byrne. She's a powerhouse. She is an Emmy nominated actor and producer, platonic, currently on Apple Plus, neighbors, insidious, bridesmaids. She has a new movie in theaters now called If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You. It's a great title. And of course, she's from Australia, which is just endlessly charming. I find that endlessly charming.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  As you'll hear, she is reluctant to tall poppy, but we try to get her there.

• 0:49Dax Shepard?

  We try. I think we made a little progress by the end.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  We maybe.

• 0:52Dax Shepard?

  And she was not reminiscent at all of that AI that would not count to a million.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  No, she was nothing like her.

• 0:57Dax Shepard?

  Nothing like her, that Australian woman. Also, we have Armchair Anonymous prompts.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 1:03Dax Shepard?

  So make sure people, people are sometimes confused. How do I get on Armchair Anonymous? Which is on Fridays, which is many people's favorite show. Check it out if you don't listen to it.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  People love it.

• 1:11Dax Shepard?

  Here's what you do. You go to our website and you submit your story.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  ArmchairExpertPod.com.

• 1:17Dax Shepard?

  So here are the prompts. Tell us about an unexpected orgasm. This is a repeat. We had a, we had a lot of luck with the first round.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Let's hope. But guys, don't lie.

• 1:27Dax Shepard?

  Don't lie. That goes for all of these prompts. Don't lie.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  But mainly that one.

• 1:31Dax Shepard?

  Tell us about a dental disaster. Ooh, get ready for pain. Aaron Gecolin, he's dealing with some right now. Tell us about a Thanksgiving disaster.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  We're in the holiday.

• 1:42Dax Shepard?

  Grandma caught on fire. That might have been Christmas, but it was still good.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Thanksgiving.

• 1:45Dax Shepard?

  Tell us about a nightmare holiday experience.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Yowee.

• 1:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, it's giving. Unexpected orgasm, dental disaster, Thanksgiving disaster, and a nightmare holiday experience. Please enjoy Rose Byrne. This episode of Armchair Expert is presented by Apple Pay. You know, holiday shopping can be a hassle, but Apple Pay makes it so much easier. Whether you're shopping online or in store, look for the Apple Pay button or contactless symbol at checkout. No more digging for your wallet or filling out long online checkout forms. It works at millions of places, including stores, websites, and apps. This means you can spend less time at checkout and more time finding the perfect gifts. Pay the Apple way. Terms apply. We get support from Quince.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 2:40Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince, because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen, and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 3:21Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters he wore all the time, and he looks iconic.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  It's a uniform.

• 3:31Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel-quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully-designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 3:49Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that, too.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop, cold water every morning before anything else.

• 4:38Dax Shepard?

  AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, superfoods, backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials. Key nutrient levels improved with three months of consistent use.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 4:56Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know, mm, I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 5:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Experts sent you.

• 5:55Dax Shepard?

  Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  I don't think that I've seen you since we did the movie Going Down Memory Lane. And I was like, I feel like that was probably the last time.

• 6:03Dax Shepard?

  And how good is your memory of that? That would have been Toronto, right?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then I remember running into you at Jen Carpenter's wedding.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, which was like about nine years ago because we go by the kids like how old they are.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  That was about nine years ago and you had one of your little girls.

• 6:21Dax Shepard?

  I had a little girl who had refused to put her dress on. So we showed up as it was ending.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Oh, that was the Asheville wedding then, right?

• 6:28Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes. And they came down the aisle like we walked on like, well, fuck, we blew all the way.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  No, the wedding was like a laid back vibe.

• 6:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they're the greatest.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  It was really lovely. That was really, really sweet. And you just did Charlie Sheen, I heard.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  We did.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  This is gonna be very dull. Very, very dull. Just lower the expectations.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Sometimes we do have two people in a day.

• 6:50Dax Shepard?

  Tell them the most extreme one.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had a sex expert on. She was incredible. Yes, and she taught us.

• 6:56Dax Shepard?

  And it was raunchy.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  It was raunchy. She taught us how to squirt.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Oh, what?

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Yes, it was full on. Then she leaves and then an hour later, we have a guy who is imprisoned in Russia.

• 7:08Dax Shepard?

  For four years. Untrumped up charges.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:12Dax Shepard?

  I was like, wow, this is a big ship.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  So sometimes we get crazy days like that.

• 7:17Dax Shepard?

  Do you ever join Bobby on things where you're just hanging while he has to do all the bullshit?

• 7:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  When I think about it, two actives, it's just a juggling act of.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  And you know what I mean?

• 7:32Speaker 02

  It's like.

• 7:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you have seven and nine?

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Seven and nine. And how old are your girls now?

• 7:35Dax Shepard?

  Ten and twelve.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Wow. Are you in tween world?

• 7:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, my nine is getting a little.

• 7:44Dax Shepard?

  Some testosterone's arriving?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just the social conditioning, right, of the peers and the friends and all this thing. But I was like, gosh, he's still so little.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, overnight.

• 7:52Dax Shepard?

  But your partner is kind of a bull now. I've never met him, but he seems like a bit of a bull.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  You've never met him?

• 7:57Dax Shepard?

  I've never met him, no. So you might get some bull energy. And these names are very bull-like names. Rocko?

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Bobby's just a big love. Oh, yeah. He's Cuban. It's the masculinity, but very big heart. Such a big softie. But I think his roles, what do you call it, belie him or no, they?

• 8:15Dax Shepard?

  Betray him?

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Betray him maybe, because he gets cast in these parts that are like very alpha and stuff.

• 8:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I love how you say alpha.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  What do you pronounce it?

• 8:24Dax Shepard?

  Alpha.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Alpha.

• 8:26Dax Shepard?

  Like Alphabeta. What's her name in Wicked?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Alphaba.

• 8:29Dax Shepard?

  Alphaba.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  When is the sequel, guys? When's it coming?

• 8:32Dax Shepard?

  Thanksgiving, right?

• 8:33Speaker 02

  When's it coming, Thanksgiving?

• 8:34Speaker 01

  I think it's gonna be.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  The girls must be pumped.

• 8:36Dax Shepard?

  My family went so off the deep end. We had Wicked Christmas. Did you?

• 8:41Speaker 02

  We didn't do that. No. That we did not do. Wicked Christmas.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  There was themes.

• 8:46Dax Shepard?

  The entire house was green. It was a wicked Christmas.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Wow. And that's Kristen. The kids love it, but Kristen's really.

• 8:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Kristen.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Really?

• 8:54Dax Shepard?

  She went to six or seven screenings. She went to the sing-alongs. That's her thing.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Well, she's a musical theater actress, though.

• 9:01Dax Shepard?

  That she is.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Right. So this is her.

• 9:03Dax Shepard?

  And I think she coveted that role when she was younger.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  That's a different world.

• 9:07Dax Shepard?

  Can you sing?

• 9:07Speaker 02

  No, God, no.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Are you being modest?

• 9:11Speaker 02

  I'm not.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  No, and I think it's such a gift. It's like if someone can speak several languages or they can sing opera. I think it's like they're a secret agent. You can also do that. It's such a skill.

• 9:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, when people say like, would you want to fly? Would you want to be invisible? I say really high on the list, probably just below flying, would be if I could open my throat and Adele came out. I have to imagine that feels so good.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Your whole body resonates with the feeling.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Can you get that same buzz we get from hearing it?

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:44Dax Shepard?

  I think.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Really?

• 9:46Dax Shepard?

  Yes, because it's a jump off the deep end commitment. It's I'm gonna go full throttle. I'm gonna let it fucking rip. And then you hear, oh, my God, I'm right on pitch and tone. And I nailed it. Yes, it has to feel like the perfect golf swing.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  It probably feels good. She can't hear it the way we hear it.

• 10:01Dax Shepard?

  I don't think she listens to it and it feels as good as it feels to us.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  I love how we're just like, we know how she feels about anything.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  But maybe she's been here. I don't know.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  No, not yet.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  I remember when she had the surgery on her. Can you imagine being the doctor?

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 10:17Dax Shepard?

  Great point. We don't have enough compassion for that doctor. You're right.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Let's just circle back to that, right?

• 10:23Dax Shepard?

  She was probably shitting bricks, that doctor.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  Like, literally. Good job with that she.

• 10:27Dax Shepard?

  I'm not gonna lie to you. I thought he and I said, no, I'm gonna say she. I had to think about it.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  It's good. Sometimes we have to think.

• 10:32Dax Shepard?

  We do. Sometimes we gotta step over bad architecture.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  And how do you guys know each other? What's your story?

• 10:39Dax Shepard?

  Go ahead, mine.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  No, you can go ahead.

• 10:40Dax Shepard?

  No, yeah, I tell it all the time.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  I started out as a babysitter for Kristen and Dax 10 years ago.

• 10:45Dax Shepard?

  Friendship circle. She was in our adjacent new member.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's more to it. I was in an adjacent friends or like I met them at random parties and stuff very, very, very superficially. And I was acting, I was trying to act. And I did an episode of Kristen's show, House of Lies, where I played her assistant. And she was like, oh, I know you. I recognize you. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. And also I make money by babysitting. So they just had their first kid and I was like, if you ever need a babysitter. So then after that, she called me. So I started date night babysitting. Then they brought me on full time babysitting. Exactly. They had their second. My soulmate.

• 11:20Dax Shepard?

  Here's where it'd be a brag for you to all take over. So then we started noticing like, oh, UCB. Oh, really funny. Great texter, really good writer. And then she started working with. That's a good clue.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  It is. I'm laughing because it's true.

• 11:34Dax Shepard?

  And some people don't put any effort. Now, this is where I do wish I was younger in dating because I could do this.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 11:42Dax Shepard?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Flex.

• 11:44Dax Shepard?

  Were you single at all at any point during texting? You've been together 13, 12?

• 11:48Speaker 02

  We've been together 13 years. So, yeah, I remember BlackBerry days.

• 11:53Dax Shepard?

  Kristin and I were on the T-Mobile sidekick.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  God.

• 11:56Dax Shepard?

  The full, you got a full fucking typewriter.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  How long have you guys been together?

• 12:00Dax Shepard?

  Over 18.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Really?

• 12:02Dax Shepard?

  But I did, who were the texts? Actually, if you hear her tell the story, she'll say, I saw her somewhere. I saw her somewhere. We had a mutual friend. I got her number and my first texter was, hey, it's Dex. We met at Shauna's party. I violated your privacy.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  That's right. I know Shauna. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:19Dax Shepard?

  I said, I violated your privacy and got your number. How do you feel about that? And then she was like, oh, that's a good start.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Cute. So you saw her talent and then?

• 12:28Dax Shepard?

  So I worked with Kristin kind of full time.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  Once Delta went to preschool and they were like, oh, what do we do with her now? We like her, but what do we do?

• 12:35Dax Shepard?

  I'm prepared to sit here and watch TV.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. I mean, you could have. That would have been nice and generous, but you didn't. So then.

• 12:40Dax Shepard?

  I would.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  I became Kristin's assistant then. And that's when I started writing a bunch of stuff for her. And she was like, oh, and then I started writing all our commercials and we kind of became creative partners. And then I left her because we decided to do this.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  How did this idea?

• 12:55Speaker 01

  He wanted to do a podcast because he loved doing podcasts, as he said earlier.

• 12:59Dax Shepard?

  Also, we were both listening to Serial and we had different takeaways from it. And we would often debate in the kitchen about Adnan's innocence or not. And we just debated nonstop. I was like, yeah, this is a gray dynamic.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yep. You had a good chemistry.

• 13:13Dax Shepard?

  So then this started and it took off in this very unexpected way. At one point she had to go like, we gotta do this thing.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  And this job became bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  And you and Kristen, are you on speaking terms or no?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  We just got back together. Thank God she's the most generous person on earth. And she also wants the best for everyone. So she, you know, understood.

• 13:31Dax Shepard?

  She was very graceful about it.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  She's like a nice lady.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Is she a little bit of a nice lady?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  She's a little bit of a nice lady.

• 13:35Dax Shepard?

  And she was quite graceful. I can't put too fine of a point on that because they were so intertwined at that point.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Oh, well, that is kinda hard.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Oh, our brains were very...

• 13:43Dax Shepard?

  If she hosted an award show, she wrote a monologue. I mean, she really relied on her.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  I still show up.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Does she have a new you?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  She does have a beautiful new me.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  A new Monica?

• 13:52Speaker 01

  She did it again.

• 13:53Dax Shepard?

  You love this. The longer we can talk. Don't think I'm a fucking... This is not my first barbecue.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  Charlie Sheen yet.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  No, we know, we know.

• 14:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, very Timothy Olyphant of her.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Exactly. Again, this is where I lead you.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Tim? Did Tim do this?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  We had him on. He was the best.

• 14:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  But he also, he kept asking me about cheerleading.

• 14:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. And eventually I had to say, okay, I gotta put a flag on this. I'm gonna let you ask that last question and then we are gonna talk about you.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Well, no, thank you for the backstory. I was genuinely curious.

• 14:21Dax Shepard?

  Do you feel more grounded?

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Oriented, just oriented.

• 14:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, oriented. That's a better way to say it. I was relieved to see that. I did see this percolate up in a lot of different interviews that you've done where you kind of are pretty honest about the fear level, regardless of the amount of success on paper.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  How can you not have that?

• 14:40Dax Shepard?

  But it's really reassuring because minimally, put your fear over here for one second. You'd have to acknowledge this on paper. You've had a fucking gangbuster career.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  I am so grateful. I've had such good luck. This is a hard business.

• 14:53Dax Shepard?

  This is one of the more successful careers you could ever have. And the notion that you're still fearful is very comforting.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  This business is littered with extraordinary talented people who have not had luck or had timing. I cannot take anything for granted.

• 15:04Dax Shepard?

  Melissa McCarthy had worked for a decade.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Who you knew from Groundlings, right?

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  And she was working. It's not like it was not a bad career.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  She was hiding in plain sight and such a good actress. Obviously, this comedic fucking bullet.

• 15:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so that kind of stuff's happening all the time. There's people like Melissa McCarthy who, if not for bridesmaids...

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Not for Paul Feig and Kristen. It's interesting, the artists like Mike White, Jennifer Coolidge, too.

• 15:26Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  Again, had an incredible career. Obviously so revered, such an uncontainable presence. But he was like, I want to write for you and like champion for her. According to what I've read, but to your point, it's like takes these minds like a Mike White or a Paul Feig or someone who can harness that and give that person a shot. And that's out of our hands. There's so little agency in our careers. No, I have so many friends who graduated from drama school who

• 15:49Dax Shepard?

  Who you might have looked up to.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was rejected from every drama school. Wow, really? Yeah, it's so random.

• 15:55Dax Shepard?

  Can I ask that? So I learned that and I thought that was really strange.

• 16:00Dax Shepard?

  You started acting at eight.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Theatre classes.

• 16:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you're in a suburb of Sydney. How far out?

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Twenty minutes from the city.

• 16:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, you're the youngest of four? Two older sisters, one older brother?

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:09Dax Shepard?

  You're a ham in the family or no?

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, the youngest. You get away with murder. More like your parents are tired. By the time it's number four, like, what are you doing? Yeah.

• 16:17Dax Shepard?

  But yeah, you start acting at eight and then you're in your first movie at 15, right?

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Twelve, actually. There was a casting agent that was looking at kids in my little class and yeah, I got this part.

• 16:26Dax Shepard?

  And then two series.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  I did a soap opera in Australia when I was 15 and that was great training, actually. I don't know if you ever did a soap, but it's technically amazing, the training.

• 16:36Dax Shepard?

  Cause you do a hundred pages a day, right? That's what's nuts.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  So much stuff and soaps in Australia are different from American. They're half an hour and they're hugely popular in the UK. Kylie Minogue was on a soap opera. It was huge in Australia. Margot Robbie was on a soap opera. It was really popular in Australia. Heath was on a popular soap opera.

• 16:53Dax Shepard?

  You worked with him on one?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  I worked with him on a film, but it's a great training ground. I have great friends who are on shows back home. So I did one that was very short-lived, but technically it's incredible because you work so hard. You move so fast, thrown into press, thrown into all that nonsense too, which at a young age can be, I mean, you see it, it's littered with kids who don't make it. This was in Australia, so it's much more of a bubble and it's a smaller pond. Whereas here it's obviously way more exposure and all the eyes are on you. America's the content leader of the world.

• 17:19Dax Shepard?

  Better that you say that than us, but okay, well, I'm glad it was said.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  I know, gosh, I just made that statement, but it's true. You know, it's way more exposure if you're doing that here. In a way, Australia is much more sheltered and protected.

• 17:29Dax Shepard?

  But what confuses me is at the point you start auditioning for these kind of prestigious acting schools, this is now post-high school.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, finished high school. Started at uni and then started to audition for all the acting schools.

• 17:41Dax Shepard?

  So how on earth was it not relevant that you were already like a very working actor with momentum?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  It's two very separate camps. Acting schools in Australia are way more interested in theater and your skill around that.

• 17:52Dax Shepard?

  Like Shakespearey kind of?

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it felt way more unattainable. Acting schools felt out of my league.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  But do you think they were punishing you for having success?

• 18:01Dax Shepard?

  I think they were jealous.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  That happens sometimes with theaters and theater schools. They really don't like on screen performers.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Look, I would wonder now because the majority of work for an actor to make a living is unfortunately not in the theater.

• 18:16Dax Shepard?

  It is not.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  It's just not. It's just not. If you're gonna live in New York or LA, you can't financially survive.

• 18:22Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Especially if you have a family. So I wonder now, obviously I'm so old now, I've got no idea, but if they take that into consideration at these schools. But back then, it was way more snobby.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  So my other thing that makes no sense is why did you even go to uni?

• 18:35Speaker 02

  My parents, they were like, gotta go to uni, you gotta keep your brain working. And I studied English literature and gender studies. I didn't finish my degree, but I went to Sydney Uni, which is a gorgeous campus. It's a bit like Hogwarts. Beautiful old sandstone buildings. I did half my degree and then I started getting more jobs and I ended up like, I'll finish it online. I never did and I wish I had.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  You still can.

• 18:53Dax Shepard?

  Do you though? I don't get this.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I do.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  You don't believe it?

• 18:57Dax Shepard?

  I don't buy it.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  It's hard. It's hard to have something half done. That's like, it's always gonna be sort of hanging.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Just that sense of accomplishment that I finished it.

• 19:05Dax Shepard?

  That's fine, but it's like, you were blessed, which almost none of us are. You were blessed with actually knowing what you wanted to do from a young age. And so anything other than that thing doesn't make any sense to me. And why there would be any guilt or shame around like, oh, I didn't go get a degree. It's like, well, yeah, you weren't trying to become a professor.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  I think, but because I started so young, there was a part of me was like, do I just like this because I liked it when I was little? Or do I still like this?

• 19:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  The opportunity to study and what a privilege to be able to do that. And I really liked university. I loved the independence of it.

• 19:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's very fun.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's so fun. It's a different culture here though, because in Australia, you don't go away. I lived at home. Most people don't travel to go to college. But we do another thing where we go overseas for six months. After you finish school, you'll work and save money, which is a bit of an Australian tradition. And then you go and travel for six months and you like live in London and you work in a pub and then you travel around Europe and you go backpacking. But I think we're so far away in Australia. So you have to travel.

• 20:02Dax Shepard?

  So where did you go?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  I went to Italy. I went all around Italy. I went to London.

• 20:07Dax Shepard?

  Did you have an Italian lover?

• 20:09Speaker 02

  I wish.

• 20:10Dax Shepard?

  No, I want one too.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  We all wish that we'd had.

• 20:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay, you're working a bunch in Australia. It's going very well, well enough to drop out of uni. I know there are a couple of American movies. There's Ghost with Matt Dillon.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. That's such a deep cut.

• 20:28Dax Shepard?

  Ghost.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Well, it had a few different titles. At one point, it was called Beneath the Banyan Trees, but I think the name changed.

• 20:34Dax Shepard?

  City of Ghost.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Thank you. Oh, City of Ghost.

• 20:37Dax Shepard?

  So that's 2002. So you would have been 23?

• 20:40Speaker 02

  A kid.

• 20:41Dax Shepard?

  And so that's an American movie, yeah? How did you get that movie?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  He was auditioning. It was an Australian backpacker. So he was looking at Aussies, honestly. It was a very international cast. Gerard Depardieu was in it. Robert Duvall. It was set in Cambodia, which he has a relationship with Matt Dillon did at the time.

• 20:57Dax Shepard?

  I remember this movie.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  It was incredible. I was in Phnom Penh for like six weeks.

• 21:01Dax Shepard?

  Wow, I can see the poster now. It didn't connect at all, but he's like in Angkor water. He's one of these monument things.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  I went to Angkor Wat.

• 21:08Dax Shepard?

  Oh, is it spectacular?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Incredible. It's like when I went to Uluru, which is this sacred site in Australia in the Northern Territory. That feeling of spiritual awakening. I'd love to have a spiritual practice. I think it's so wonderful. But it's one of those places where you are taken over. And I mean, this was many, many years ago I went, but it's beautiful.

• 21:24Dax Shepard?

  We had that in Sedona where we had to concede. Okay, yeah, I think there's something vortexy like this. You know, this whole Sedona, Arizona is supposed to be a vortex. I'm like.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  I didn't know that.

• 21:32Dax Shepard?

  Vortex for vortex.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Really? It's so beautiful.

• 21:34Dax Shepard?

  But we were there and we're like, yeah, man, something is happening here.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  That is like Angkor Wat.

• 21:38Dax Shepard?

  Cause mom was an atheist, but dad and you are agnostic.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, Australia, it's definitely not the same relationship with religion as is here, which is very, very different. It's something I'm still understanding. It's wild that the people I've met over the years and their relationship with their practices or religion. A lot of people in recovery from a religious practice or a very extreme religious families.

• 21:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, there's a bazillion culty type religions here.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  There, is it just less of a thing in general?

• 22:06Speaker 02

  It is. Obviously, there is a history of it, but it's less fundamental than it is here, for sure. But growing up, my parents didn't practice any religion, but they sent me to scripture, which is like a Sunday school at my school, but it wasn't on a Sunday, it was on a Friday. That's such a boring story. In any case, but they said to me, it'll be educational and you can decide.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 22:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  Decide what you think.

• 22:25Dax Shepard?

  And you were like, huh, where are the women in this story? Oh, there's none? Okay, I think I'm gonna move on.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  I just remember harassing the poor man going like, but if there's a God, why do people kill each other? Or why do people not have food? What's God's plan?

• 22:36Dax Shepard?

  Why is it so unfair here?

• 22:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. Like, what's the deal? And the poor priest or whoever he was trying to talk to this 10-year-old girl. Were you guys brought up anything? Can I ask quickly?

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Of course. Technically, my parents are Hindu, but they're not.

• 22:48Dax Shepard?

  Practicing?

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Actually, the older my parents are, like my dad now will go to the temple every month, but it wasn't a thing we did really when I was young. So I didn't know much about it.

• 22:58Dax Shepard?

  One of my grandparents, when I was visiting them on the weekend, baptized me Southern Baptist. And then the other set of grandparents baptized me in a Catholic church, independently, without any permission from either parent.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 23:08Dax Shepard?

  And neither stuck. Although I did prefer the Southern Baptist vibe, because there was a picnic after every Sunday.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  Picnic's are fun. That's how they get you.

• 23:15Dax Shepard?

  Great food.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  Southern Baptist is pretty hardcore, though.

• 23:17Dax Shepard?

  There's all these pockets within Baptists. There's Southern Baptists, you know, there's Pentecostal.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Methodist church. I'm from Georgia, and so there's just certain streets where it's all churches. It's all different kinds. There's Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic. There's so many.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:32Dax Shepard?

  Our friend Hannah moved to Nashville, and her parents were gonna visit, and they're very religious. And I said, you know, you guys should do a church crawl. Because there's so many, you could really do a church crawl.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  It is wild that shooting in Atlanta and outside of Georgia, base camp, you're always in a church.

• 23:48Dax Shepard?

  You're always eating in a church?

• 23:49Speaker 02

  But growing up in Australia, no, it wasn't part of my childhood. And I started acting so early. I didn't really do sports. That was my thing.

• 23:55Dax Shepard?

  So does that movie, though, City of Ghost, had you, A, always been like, well, we gotta get there ultimately? Or the opportunity presented itself, and then you followed it?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  It was the goal.

• 24:04Dax Shepard?

  As you said, the content capital of the world.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  As I said that, I realized maybe Bollywood. Oh, that's a content.

• 24:11Dax Shepard?

  Well, volume.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  I traveled through India, and I went to a Bollywood film, and it was incredible. It was one line. For men to see the movie, one line for women lining up and then one line for tourists. Wow. And it was packed. I think we were in Jaipur. I will never forget it. I was like, if this many people could see an Australian film, we would have the richest. There is a great history of rich cinema in Australia, but this was unbelievable. Yeah. It was three hours long. There was a half an hour break in the middle.

• 24:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, when you need one.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  Everybody's talking the whole time.

• 24:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, the whole movie?

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Everybody's talking. It's all in Hindi. I don't know what's happening. The people next to me are so nice. They're explaining it to me. I'm like, what are you talking about? It was the most joyous communal. I'll never forget it. Anyway, we should acknowledge the content coming out of Bollywood. That's fair.

• 24:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I tip my hat to them. Had you traveled here ever as a kid?

• 25:01Speaker 02

  I'd been to New York at 18 with my family. We took a trip. I had never been to LA. And then I did a film with Heath Ledger when we were 18. We were just kids.

• 25:10Dax Shepard?

  Did you just fall in love with him?

• 25:12Speaker 02

  He was such a charmer. Did you ever spend time with him? He was a generous guy and such a talent and could have gone so many ways. We were close when we were 18, 19. We did a film together and it went to Sundance. He was such a great example of an artist that he was always getting off at these TV shows. When we were starting out and he was really like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to just be a heartthrob.

• 25:32Dax Shepard?

  They gave to him on a silver platter after that night movie. They're like, hey, do you want to be sexy and make 10 million a movie?

• 25:38Speaker 02

  At that age, it's really hard. I didn't have that confidence to be like, okay, I'll just not do TV.

• 25:44Dax Shepard?

  I'd do anything.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  At 20, but I really wanted to work internationally and wanted to have those ambitions, but by no means knew how. Really, it's true, Heath. I came over here. I stayed with him a bunch of times and he was so sweet. He'd get me into audition for his things. I got an agent. That was exciting. And I started auditioning and spending time in LA. And then I went back to Australia and worked more there. And then I never heard from the agent again. Oh, really? Oh, boy. But I still see her around. Oh, that's so weird.

• 26:10Dax Shepard?

  I was tiptoeing around this the other day in a fact check. We went to the Night Before party, which we haven't been to in, I don't know, 15 years.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  The Emmys party?

• 26:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the night before the Emmy's party. I think they do one too for the Oscars.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  They still do it? Wow.

• 26:21Dax Shepard?

  And the second we walked in, I'm like, oh, I remember this. You bump into endless representatives that you no longer work with. That is very, very awkward. And this is the party.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  So fun. What a fun party.

• 26:30Dax Shepard?

  It's a great party. And then you see a lot of people you're friends with.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 26:34Dax Shepard?

  You see people that you're friends with, but you can't talk to each other because too many people are right and you're like, yeah, this is a disaster.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  That was definitely part of my journey. And then I worked more back at home. And then I got a part in a movie called Wicker Park, and that was this film with Diane Kruger and Josh Hartnett. Yes. And Matthew Lillard. Yeah. I said everybody, I said everybody's names.

• 26:53Dax Shepard?

  Good job. Did you love Lillard?

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Such a sweetheart.

• 26:57Dax Shepard?

  Isn't he the funnest person?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  He had a tiny baby then, who's probably now.

• 27:01Dax Shepard?

  Ad Addison.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Twenty seven year old young woman, I'm sure. Other than the film with Matt, that was my first American job. Woo, I said it, guys. I got it right. I said it.

• 27:11Dax Shepard?

  And you went straight to New York?

• 27:12Speaker 02

  No, then after that, I lived in London. I didn't want to live in LA. I liked London better. My sister was living there. We bought a house and lived in London. So I was there for two years. I loved that. I don't know if you've spent time there. Yeah, we love it. I love it. And then I booked Damages, and that's when I moved to New York.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  We were enormous.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Were you really?

• 27:29Dax Shepard?

  Enormous. I'm gonna tell you the degree to which we were fans of Damages.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Please share with me. Are you gonna say the thing? Because it's still a thing.

• 27:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I'm gonna say it. So Kristen does a movie with Ted Danson. Neither of us know him yet. It's up in Alaska. So we go up to Alaska, a lot of dinners together. And we're sitting with Ted at dinner. We say we are bonkers for Damages. And he's like, really? And I said, oh, my God. Do you know what we are at this hotel as, which we had been for a couple of years at that point? We check in everywhere as Holly and Arthur Frobisher.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Wow, that is a fan. That is a fan.

• 28:06Dax Shepard?

  We took on, we made that our identity.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. That was your pseudonym?

• 28:11Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  I'm so flattered. I'm so flattered. We came out the same year as Mad Men. It was that chapter of prestige. I mean, The Sopranos had set the bar.

• 28:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but it had been a long time. At that time, we thought only HBO could do that. You and Mad Men were the two where it's like, oh, shit, cable's gonna do this.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  And then Breaking Bad was soon after that. And then now we're obviously. It's all we have. Years later, it's like, that's where you see drama is really on TV.

• 28:35Dax Shepard?

  Let's be honest, it's gotten way better than movies.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  It's hard not to disagree with that.

• 28:38Dax Shepard?

  Three good movies a year, and I can name like 600 episodes of TV that were brilliant.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  That's a good way to put it.

• 28:43Dax Shepard?

  Were you hesitant to sign up for a TV show? Because you had your foot so firmly in the door in the feature world.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  The material was so good. Working with Glenn was like a masterclass. But signing that contract.

• 28:53Dax Shepard?

  Seven years, they have you for seven years.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  That was a conversation I had with myself. But it's funny when you look back, right? And it was just like, wow, look how far. It's been since that show and I feel very proud of the show and I'm so glad you saw it. That's so cute and I used it as a pseudonym.

• 29:08Dax Shepard?

  But we were obsessed.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  We had the most incredible support. Ted is so brilliant. He's so against type.

• 29:14Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  As Probercher.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  He's this sleazy, maniacal.

• 29:17Dax Shepard?

  How fun for us to see him.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Fire and like so funny. Anyway, they were brilliant with their casting. We had William Hurt, Marsha Gay Hard and we had some incredible people. Yeah. Are you a people pleaser? I feel like you are a people pleaser. Of course I am.

• 29:29Dax Shepard?

  I'm a people.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  I'm Australian. Yeah, our Australians. I love the colonies, guys. Oh, you're a tall poppy situation. Don't brag. Keep your boots on. But you're allowed to be a tall poppy.

• 29:40Dax Shepard?

  Unfortunately, you're a tall poppy.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  You have to take that back immediately. Immediately. Oh, we cancelled. Please don't make that. Please, please take that back. I need you to lean in to your poppy. Please take that back.

• 29:50Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna come out with it right now. It's gonna wait, but.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  We would go, gosh.

• 29:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, this is it.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  It's making me so nervous. Good lord. We are tall poppies.

• 29:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Open books.

• 30:02Dax Shepard?

  It's too exhausting to not be.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 30:05Dax Shepard?

  It's just fucking.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  You can keep too much to yourself. That's exhausting. Yeah, that's true. That's why I'm tired. Guys, I'm having a podcast tour. I'm very tired.

• 30:12Dax Shepard?

  And Rose, for whose sake?

• 30:14Speaker 02

  It's on my cellular level of keeping. Yours is at least cultural. I'm leaning on that. But no, I interrupted you. What were you gonna say?

• 30:22Dax Shepard?

  What I was gonna say, this will be hard for you to hear, but I have said it on here many times. I really would put you and Walton Goggins in the exact same category, which is.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Finally.

• 30:32Dax Shepard?

  I don't think I've seen two people that can be that good at drama and that good at comedy at the level you both are. It's astounding. I already loved you from damages, but then when I saw, it had to be probably Neighbors.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  No, Bridesmaids.

• 30:47Dax Shepard?

  Well, I saw her in Bridesmaids. She was great. Melissa had this stuff.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  I'm very much the straight man in Bridesmaids.

• 30:52Dax Shepard?

  She's a straight person.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  But you always feel so funny in it.

• 30:54Dax Shepard?

  Neighbors, you had a loose rhythm and confidence that I just hadn't seen yet. And I was like, get the fuck out. She can do comedy like this? And then I've thought that a dozen more times since then. It's so impressive.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 31:09Dax Shepard?

  I hold you and my wife. My wife can do it all.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Well, I was gonna say I would put your wife in that category.

• 31:14Dax Shepard?

  I would too.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  And she's also incredibly disarming. I've only met her once, but she's so funny and immediately put me at ease. In a way that we're really not doing.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  She was so, so funny.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:27Dax Shepard?

  Yes, she's incredibly funny.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Funny people aren't necessarily funny actors. Funny actors aren't necessarily funny people. And usually comedians are actually very serious.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Which I have learnt over the years. You'd never know, is my point. That's such a sweet thing to say. I'm very flattered.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  Everyone we've had on who's worked with you, which is a lot of people at this point, you always come up and it's always an absolute love fest about you. It is. Everyone loves working with you.

• 31:50Dax Shepard?

  Can we jump to neighbors? Because A, how aware of it are you? You have to be. And then B, how do you explain it? And then C, how quickly did you notice it? You and Seth have this crazy symbiotic rhythm. It's so fun. How quickly into like meeting him and starting to work with him? Did you go, there's some magic floating around?

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Chemistry's so weird. How do you know? How do you describe it? Obviously, we're so different, but we sort of work the same way in that we're really into the work, kind of private people. He's an open book in many ways.

• 32:17Dax Shepard?

  He isn't, he isn't.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  I think it's a little bit of a trick.

• 32:19Dax Shepard?

  He's a trick. I've told them, I'm like, you're someone who I think I could get close to, but I know I can't get close to you. And I don't know what to do with that. Because I'm the opposite.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  That's making Dax's brain.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  And there's something, I think that there's a similarity about that with us. And we see it in each other. And I feel very relaxed with him, particularly when we're working. We just have such an ease. And he's a gentle guy. And that's where I find our place, I guess. I don't know. It's a very funny thing. Because on paper, you'd be like, how did this? And this is so corny, and I say it all the time, but he's Canadian. And there's something about that too, that I think we have some sort of similarity in the commonwealth. It's just a little bit different. But I feel really grateful to have that relationship with him. When you get to work with someone again and again and again, it's a lovely, creative conversation.

• 33:06Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. This message is brought to you by Apple Pay.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Dax, can you believe it's already fall? This year's flown by.

• 33:19Dax Shepard?

  I know, right? But fall is my jam. Remember that farmer's market we hit up last weekend?

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Yes, all those vendors with their yummy apple ciders and the big pumpkins. I love big pumpkins.

• 33:29Dax Shepard?

  Artisanal apple cider, don't forget. And the smell of fresh baked goods, heaven. But here's what blew my mind. So many vendors accepted Apple Pay.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  It was so convenient. I love Apple Pay. Everywhere I saw the contactless symbol, I just double clicked the side button on my phone. To bring up my card and then just a quick little face ID scan, tap, boom.

• 33:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  So easy.

• 33:50Dax Shepard?

  Apple Pay's been my MVP this season to buy festive fall treats and drinks.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  And you know, I'm on a mission to find the best fall themed latte in town. You know this.

• 33:59Dax Shepard?

  I do know that. How's it going? That maple one you were telling me about sounded pretty insane.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  It was so good. And get this, you can also use Apple Pay at lots of cafes. No fumbling for your wallet, just double click, tap and sip.

• 34:12Dax Shepard?

  It works at millions of places, anywhere you see the contactless symbol in stores or see the Apple Pay button online and in apps.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Exactly. Making it easier to enjoy all the fall goodness.

• 34:24Dax Shepard?

  Speaking of which, I'm totally set for Halloween. Apple Pay made it a breeze to purchase the perfect decorations online. Right from my iPhone, I just tap the Apple Pay button at checkout, double click to authenticate and boom, payment complete. No long checkout forms, no fuss.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Fall festivities have never been more fun or easy.

• 34:42Dax Shepard?

  Pay the Apple way. Terms apply. This episode is supported by Helix.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Dax, is there anything better than crawling into a perfect bed on a cold fall night? Candlelit, hoodie on, maybe even some rain outside. The dream.

• 34:58Dax Shepard?

  That's the dream. You just described one of my ideal fall nights.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  I know. And thanks to Helix, my bed actually lives up to the vibe. All I had to do was take the Helix sleep quiz and within two minutes, they match me to a mattress built for exactly how I sleep. I have a midnight mattress. It also has cooling technology. Which I really.

• 35:19Dax Shepard?

  Increasingly so.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  I need it. I have to have it. And I heard that you're supposed to sleep at a cold temp. Optimal sleep. It's very, very helpful.

• 35:30Dax Shepard?

  She is not wrong. I have one too, and it's been such a game changer for sleep. And I love that they make it so easy. Free shipping right to your door. And what they're happy with Helix guarantee, you'll get a full 365 nights to try it. A whole year to live in that cozy. They've got over 20 mattress models, so no matter how you sleep, they've got one for you.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  And it's not just us saying it. Helix has been named the most awarded mattress brand by Forbes, Wired and more. You gotta try it for yourself.

• 35:57Dax Shepard?

  Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 36:10Dax Shepard?

  Thank you to our presenting sponsor HP for supporting this episode. Their HP Smart Tank printer is the last printer you'll ever need. Oh, here we go, Monica. With a refillable ink tank and up to three years of ink included. So you get thousands of pages of cartridge free printing. Hallelujah. To learn more, search for HP Smart Tank. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot.

• 36:55Dax Shepard?

  You've been developing something, a business, a skillset, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours, but at some point you're ready to put it out there and that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built-in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 37:40Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff, but there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly is different. It's already right there inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight it and it pulls. The key points about to send something important. It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands.

• 38:25Dax Shepard?

  It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try superhuman go from the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com.

• 38:50Dax Shepard?

  When you get that, neither party has the leverage to continue that just because they enjoyed it or they would choose to. My friend Joy Bryant and I.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  I love Joy. How is she?

• 39:01Dax Shepard?

  She's so good.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Please give her my love. She's such a gorgeous, lovely lady.

• 39:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and we had six years together. We're just the comfort levels just so off the charts. We're brother and sister in such a wonderful way. But like, I can't choose to go do five more things with Joy, nor can she choose to go do five more things with me. So there's gift upon gift.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  A privilege that Seth and I, and that's due to Nick Stoller.

• 39:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we love Nick Stoller.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  We love this opportunity for these projects that have happened for us is so much because of Nick. And now his wife Francesca with Platonic creating this show. And that was my idea to approach Seth and I was like, I'm not sure if he wants to do this. I don't know. This is the show. It's a big thing. You want to sign on and he's an easy guy.

• 39:36Dax Shepard?

  Seven, you're contract, not anymore.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  But he did. I'm like, thanks, buddy.

• 39:42Dax Shepard?

  Now, how much of y'all's rapport on screen is scripted and how much is improv? Like, what percentage is playful, off the cuff stuff?

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Seth's really loose. There is a script absolutely in this, obviously points you have to hit and stuff. It's hard to explain as an actor, right? It's a very different job when you're doing an improv job than really specifically scripted role. And it's not something everyone's done. And it's something I've really learnt baptism by fire when I did get him to the Greek. It was very much like, oh, okay.

• 40:12Dax Shepard?

  Try to catch up.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  I didn't go to Groundlings. I didn't go to UCB. I didn't do any of that stuff. So it's not a trained thing that I have. So figuring that out was definitely learning a different muscle. And it always takes me a minute to find it again. And I don't know if I'm particularly good at it, but I will try. I mean, it's so ephemeral, that talent. It can be really bad. Oh, God, yeah. It can be the worst.

• 40:30Dax Shepard?

  What I was gonna add is I think there's a ton of misconception within improv, which is I think actors who don't understand it and have had not any training. They think improv is non sequiturs, or they think improv is just, I say something different. But the art of it is, of course, moving the story to the same place the script had moved it to. It's gotta be original and off the cuff, but you still have to be very much on story. And I think that's the next layer of the talent. So my hunch is you actually probably backed into it, which is you probably have great understanding of the story and point of the scene. And then the new unwritten stuff came after that.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  I definitely always come from a perspective of like, who's the person, the traditional like, you know, the parameters of an actress or actor, the stakes have to be high.

• 41:16Dax Shepard?

  It's not saying fart.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  That's why you're better off, because you care about acting, than you're improvising in character. A lot of comedians just wanna be funny.

• 41:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they wanna say something outrageous.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, and get a laugh on set. And it's like, that isn't helpful. But isn't it wonderful? I so enjoy when you see a comedian doing something dramatic.

• 41:35Dax Shepard?

  What's your example you're thinking of?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  So Bobby's good friends with Bill Burr. And Bill was on Broadway recently.

• 41:40Dax Shepard?

  Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  Did you see it?

• 41:41Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  They have great comedy in the play. But it's a David Mamet play. Yeah.

• 41:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Fucking writer. And he just killed it. Wow, that's awesome.

• 41:49Dax Shepard?

  I would have liked to have seen that.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  It's harder to get a deeply, deeply dramatic actor who we all revere to then do a wildly comedic performance.

• 41:57Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna say it. Comedy's way harder.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  I agree. I agree. No, no, no, I agree. Why do you think it's harder?

• 42:02Dax Shepard?

  There's no help. There is tons of help available if you're doing drama. If I just sit dead still and I give you absolutely nothing and you push the camera on me slowly and you score it perfectly, you will fill in all the blanks of what I'm doing. The lighting is at your disposal, the music's at your disposal, the person who's acting off screen who you're benefiting from, you fill in so much blanks with drama. Comedy is math that you get the equation right or you don't. There's no cheating it. And when you see people try to cheat it by scoring goofy music under it, it's dreadful. It's like offensive, right? If you try to use the tools that are available to drama, in comedy, it's dreadful. So it is just technically much harder to land.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 42:41Dax Shepard?

  So you should be prouder of your comedic chops, is what I'm hearing.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Well, you be proud of everything. You be a top poppy.

• 42:46Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you can be proud of anything.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Ethologically problematic. I feel like comedy's so subjective.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  We can all agree on what he said.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  Well, that is true.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  We can kind of pretty much agree.

• 42:57Dax Shepard?

  That's a great point.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  But can we all agree on what is funny? No.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Also, timing is kind of like, we were talking about singing earlier. It is a gift. It can be taught to an extent, and then the way singing can be taught to an extent. You can't teach it because I feel like timing is about unpredictability. So you can't teach that.

• 43:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's just a rhythm that exists in your head or not.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  I know, and it's wild when I've worked with Kristen Wiig, or Maya Rudolph, or Melissa, who's like the Michael Jordans.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  These performances, and it's effortless.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  I don't even know if they know it's effortless.

• 43:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, then we get into the really interesting psychology that's quite pervasive among comedians that do end up successful. It's easy. And there's a guilt and shame about the fact that it's easy. But of course, it's easy because you've been practicing since you were a little kid how to do this thing. And then this guilt, now I gotta do Shakespeare. There's a whole racket, I think, that goes along with success as a comedian.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  And then I wonder if there's a lack of respect for how hard it is.

• 43:49Dax Shepard?

  Polar just blasted off recently about this, and I appreciate it. She's like, fuck reviewers, fuck all reviewers who refuse to give any credit to comedy. Fuck the Academy Awards. And then so true.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  She did? That's so punk. I love that.

• 44:01Dax Shepard?

  And it's so true. It's like, how dare you?

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Why is it considered less than?

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:05Dax Shepard?

  And then also, who gives a shit if anything's acknowledged?

• 44:08Speaker 01

  None of it, man.

• 44:10Dax Shepard?

  I just want to talk about 2011, and especially now that I have a sense of your anxiety.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 44:18Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 44:19Dax Shepard?

  I want to talk about 2011.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  By the way, all I'm looking at is the Olsen Twins up there behind you.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  Aren't they calming?

• 44:26Speaker 02

  They're very cool. I feel so cozy in their huge coats and their cool hairdo.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  They probably cause anxiety because they're so cool.

• 44:34Dax Shepard?

  It's a Photoshop photo, just so you know.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously. I'm not with that.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 44:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I had a hunch you thought they were.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought that was real.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I wish.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Wow. Sorry, I digress. Go back, go back, go back. I'm sorry. Okay, good.

• 44:49Dax Shepard?

  You're doing quite well up to 2011. No complaints. It's going very, very well. But in 2011, you make a million dollar movie that makes 97 million dollars. Insidious.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 45:04Dax Shepard?

  You just minimally have to go like, fuck, that was lucky. We made a million dollar movie that made 100 million dollars.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  James Wan directing it, who has gone on to huge movies, different genres. That was shot in 22 days for $8.50.

• 45:15Dax Shepard?

  That's bonkers. 2011, you're in Bridesmaids. It becomes the biggest grossing R rated comedy ever. Impossible. This is the same year. This thing makes 288 million dollars.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  That's wild. I forgot it was in the same time period.

• 45:30Dax Shepard?

  2011, X Men First Class, 350 million dollar movie. How were you computing? Like, we've been trotting along, it's been improving a little bit. And now all of a sudden, this one year, everything I've touched has just been something you could write a story about. How were you computing that? Did you get superstitious about it?

• 45:48Speaker 02

  I definitely have superstition and I think I still do talking about it.

• 45:51Dax Shepard?

  You're afraid to even.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 45:53Dax Shepard?

  I do.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  I have an innate, I have superstition around the process. And with this business, you have a moment, the moment will go away. But that was a chapter. And hearing about it, it's like a core memory of, wow, that was an extraordinary chapter. And you don't know, I have no control about how it will be received or how it will go. Particularly something like Bridesmaids, shooting it and thinking. Yeah, were you like, this is crazy? You know, we didn't know, we were like, this is unusual because I'm with so many actresses. This is so funny and I love these women. And I was so naive, I had no idea that that's all I would be talking about too. Was like, oh, women are funny. I was like, what? I have to talk about that? I have to, what? What do you mean? It opened up so many weird conversations. It was so weird, it was like we were a group of dolphins. I was like, what's happening? I don't know, I grew up watching Julia Louis-Dreyfus and I didn't know any different.

• 46:37Dax Shepard?

  I think if you were on the, my bad, I just.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  No, please.

• 46:40Dax Shepard?

  I squirted too much nicotine in my throat.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Have some matcha. Wow, so you squirt the nicotine?

• 46:44Dax Shepard?

  I do both.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, he has mints. Mint.

• 46:47Dax Shepard?

  A lot of delivery systems.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Thank God.

• 46:51Dax Shepard?

  I think on the outside, people would assume I'm gonna take another drink.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Take your time. Yeah, no, please take a moment, take a moment.

• 46:56Dax Shepard?

  No, we lose the room at 3:15.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 46:59Dax Shepard?

  So another podcast starts. Not ours, but someone else's.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  No, just kidding, just kidding. Don't scare her, she's, there's a lot of anxiety.

• 47:06Dax Shepard?

  She's scarable.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  I'm also gullible. I fully thought the whole, I was like having a whole scenario with you guys at like a fashion dinner. Oh, man. Or like the bungalows or something.

• 47:16Dax Shepard?

  Exotic life.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Did you do that or did somebody do that for you?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Rob did it for me because for Christmas he got me that sweater, but it didn't arrive. So he gave this to me as like a placeholder and then this is actually the better present.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Is this a sweater from the row?

• 47:30Speaker 01

  It is.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  I know.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know. Did you think I was really cool? You're like, oh my God, she's cool. She hangs out with the Olsen's.

• 47:37Dax Shepard?

  What else could you say?

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Right, I know. Elevated looks, like, what are you talking about? Wow, look at that. I know. That's out of my league.

• 47:45Dax Shepard?

  What else could one conclude, Monica?

• 47:47Speaker 02

  I know. Isn't that what I'm supposed to conclude?

• 47:49Speaker 01

  It feels like a lie.

• 47:50Dax Shepard?

  My integrity was like, I must correct this. I think she has just gone on a journey.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  That's not very nice to me. Well. I wanna gain some cool points, whether I earn them or not.

• 48:00Dax Shepard?

  Well, no, I think you wanna earn them. I know you.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Fine, I do, I do, I do.

• 48:03Dax Shepard?

  I think from the outside, their guess would be, hey, if I had a year where all these movies hit, I'd be dancing around my apartment. And my hunch is that that wasn't how you processed the whole thing. Or were you dancing around your apartment?

• 48:17Speaker 02

  That's a really good question. You know what? I didn't think I was, but as I get older, I'm like, you should dance around apartment. Yes. You should dance around the fucking apartment because what are we here for? Like, celebrate, enjoy.

• 48:28Dax Shepard?

  And it's not gonna get taken from you because you enjoyed it.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Exactly. And even if it does, still enjoy it. You know what I mean? Like, what is the point in not enjoying it? And I did have fun. It's such a fun ride with bridesmaids that was obviously so beloved, but I need to dance around the apartment more. We all do.

• 48:42Dax Shepard?

  But you feel like you can always lose it. That's the logical error. You can't lose it. It happened.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  It happened. But you can kinda lose it, though, can't you?

• 48:49Dax Shepard?

  You can lose it, yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Depends on how you define it, I guess. And how do you define it?

• 48:54Dax Shepard?

  All right, I'm gonna ask a nosey question that you're gonna fucking hate.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Monica.

• 48:58Dax Shepard?

  But you did.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Help me.

• 48:59Dax Shepard?

  You've done four of these insidious movies.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Good lord.

• 49:01Dax Shepard?

  The first one was made for a million bucks, made ninety seven. The second one was made for five million, has made one hundred and sixty six million dollars. The third one was made for ten and made one hundred and sixty seven. The last one, almost two hundred million dollars.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Wow, that's amazing.

• 49:15Dax Shepard?

  Please tell me you've got a juicy piece of this pie. Are you just kidding? Like, those movies come in, you're like, oh, we're getting a new apartment.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  It would be a financial question.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Oh, my god, this is not what I expected.

• 49:27Dax Shepard?

  How uncomfortable are you?

• 49:27Speaker 01

  What did you think was gonna happen here?

• 49:29Speaker 02

  I'm so deeply uncomfortable.

• 49:31Dax Shepard?

  And offended?

• 49:31Speaker 02

  I'm so deeply uncomfortable.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Please don't be offended. I mean, obviously, we know you probably don't want to talk about money. But how do you feel about money?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Can you tell? I would love to. Let's talk about money.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  You couldn't even say money.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  The M word.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  How should I say it? Does financial safety matter to you?

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Of course. Once you have a family, are you kidding? Like, we're talking about the theater, right?

• 49:53Dax Shepard?

  And you had a modest household. Mom was an administrator at school and dad was...

• 49:56Speaker 02

  A bunch of kids. I got a job really early. I worked at an Indian restaurant.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 50:01Dax Shepard?

  Racist.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Curry World.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  No, we appreciate it.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  On Darling Street in Balmain. And then I worked at Baker's Delight. I loved it. I loved earning money. I loved going to work. I loved the performative nature of being at a restaurant. And they say, what I've read about particularly raising boys is it's good for them to have a job as a teenager is a really important thing.

• 50:18Dax Shepard?

  I had so many. Go see The Principal, get a work permit so I could work at the restaurant at twelve.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  The whole thing, yeah.

• 50:23Dax Shepard?

  To tassel corn in agriculture at fourteen.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  I loved my jobs.

• 50:26Dax Shepard?

  What she could be asking, and you could make a relative, which is financial insecurity is, I think, top fear for me. Where it's a sickness.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Absolutely a real thing.

• 50:36Dax Shepard?

  And people have it at varying degrees.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  It can tip into it being all-consuming. And I guess I wonder on the scale, like, where you sort of land.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  I think I have a healthy... But we do not live a lavish life. I'm not a wildly lavish person, but what memories do you want for your kids? The core things that I grew up, what I remember is a great holiday, a tiny beach house. Those things are the things that I feel are the most valuable.

• 50:56Dax Shepard?

  And you and Bobby are aligned.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  We are.

• 50:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's good.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  I think you have to be. Well, to a degree. I mean, you have to figure it out. What kind of life are we raising for these kids? What are the values? Do you have the same thing that Tax is chatting about?

• 51:06Speaker 01

  No. I mean... Yes and no.

• 51:08Dax Shepard?

  I think yours is realistic.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Well.

• 51:10Dax Shepard?

  And mine is unrealistic.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  It all changes as you get more. That's the truth. I am so financially safe, but the more you have, the more you get, and then the more you need. It shouldn't be that way. You should be able to remove yourself and be like, I don't need anything. I'm good. Didn't like Warren Buffett have one house? Yes, exactly.

• 51:28Dax Shepard?

  The same old house he bought 1974 in Omaha.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  What's the psychology behind that?

• 51:33Dax Shepard?

  Well, what I like about it for him was it does demonstrate that you would think he was in all that for the money, and he wasn't. He was in it for the game, and I can research further, and I can see value where other people can't, and that that was really what drove him. And that's kind of admirable. And being better at it than other people. He actually didn't want any of the shit.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  That's wild, isn't it? And then what does he do with?

• 51:53Dax Shepard?

  He's giving it all away. He pledged it to the Gates Foundation. Although I do think he took some of it back, but that's a side note.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think he said, like, my kids will get some. They're not getting that much. The rest goes away to people. See, I mean, that amount of wealth to me is a nightmare. Terrible for families. It's a lot. It breaks people.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like succession.

• 52:12Dax Shepard?

  I'll argue it is correlation and not causation. So I think what you're seeing a lot with these very wealthy families is they were not present parents at all. They had nannies raising their children, and they worked endlessly to accumulate that. That was their main obsession. I'm not certain that the wealth is what caused it. Again, it's very correlated, but what I see in a lot of these families that end up with a lot of wealth is much bigger, deeper problems going on in the parenting.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  But then there's like infighting between siblings that can happen when there's money that's gonna get divvied out. It can be crazy. We had a huge lottery here, a billion dollar lottery a couple of weeks. I don't know if you remember.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  In LA?

• 52:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, it was nationally. It was the mega, because the Texan won it.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  Some states. I don't think all states are a part of it. And I was talking to my parents about this. My dad was like, I would never want to win a billion dollars. That sounds miserable. Everyone is gonna want something from you. Everyone's gonna know it's you. And I was like, oh, my God.

• 53:11Dax Shepard?

  Well, what if you say, what if you're completely anonymous?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  I did. I said, you don't have to do. He's like, they'll find out and then they'll want something from you.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  That is true.

• 53:19Dax Shepard?

  I think that's a tell of that you cannot escape your childhood. So I bet where he grew up in Carolina, if you were the town billionaire, whatever the equivalent of that was, I bet he witnessed that that's actually dangerous.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true. I mean, everyone would agree, right? The more money you amass, the more.

• 53:37Dax Shepard?

  More problems.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Some people say it.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  It's not not true.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  It's not not true.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Because the more things you get, the more things you gotta manage.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  And there's expectation. If you aren't giving it, then you're selfish. There is a lot that comes with it.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  I remember watching a great documentary about happiness once and they were saying a certain amount of money can really help. And then a certain amount can change so much the quality of your life.

• 53:59Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  And your mental health and your physical, all those sorts of things. But beyond that, it doesn't change.

• 54:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like plateau for a while and then it diminishes.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Yes, and that was fascinating because it's not what we're sold.

• 54:10Dax Shepard?

  It's not.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  And the discrepancy of wealth is just horrific around the world, obviously, which is a whole other conversation, but that is pretty unsettling and awful. And it's just getting worse.

• 54:19Dax Shepard?

  OK, we're about to talk about your movie, but I compiled this list and it took me a long time. So I am gonna make you listen to it.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Did you see the movie?

• 54:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I watched it last night.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  You did?

• 54:26Dax Shepard?

  I did.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Did you get it?

• 54:28Dax Shepard?

  What do you mean, get it?

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Like, did you feel like you understood?

• 54:30Dax Shepard?

  I can't wait to talk about it.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  OK.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  Great.

• 54:33Dax Shepard?

  But not before you hear this list.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 54:35Dax Shepard?

  I sincerely don't know that anyone has this list. This is a list of your co-stars.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Fun game.

• 54:44Dax Shepard?

  Heath Ledger, Natalie Portman, Matt Dillon, Dennis Hopper, Brad Pitt, Nick Cage, Peter O'Toole, Snoop Dogg, Killian Murphy, Glenn Close, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Seth Rogan, Zac Efron, Susan Sarandon, Jude Law, Adam Driver, Jane Fonda, Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Ethan Hawke. That's a bonkers. Do you ever go like, I can't believe how many of these people I got to work with.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  That is a bonkers list. Can I take it with me?

• 55:17Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's insane.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  And I've never had someone say it out loud and write it down.

• 55:21Dax Shepard?

  And I left people out.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Oh, no. I mean, Snoop, that's a cool one. You know, I've also worked with Snoop. What did you do with Snoop? I did a...

• 55:30Dax Shepard?

  Dunkin' Donuts?

• 55:31Speaker 02

  No, it was a Burger King commercial. Even better. Fabulous. So. Isn't he lovely? He is very, very nice. He was so laid back, so fun. He was great.

• 55:40Dax Shepard?

  When you smoke a quarter pound a week a day, you can be pretty chill, turns out.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  It's a benefit. The trailer was just like a cloud around it. It was pretty funny.

• 55:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like I bet it would be hard for you to look back. I think if I just listened to movies you were in, you're like, oh, yeah, but I did that and then I... But you must be able to listen to lists and go like, my lord, what an incredible ride I got to have.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  I do. When you hear it out loud like that, it is wild. And then to remember too, like, oh, yes, I got to do that.

• 56:06Dax Shepard?

  You know all these people.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. And like, I had that great scene. We had a wonderful conversation.

• 56:10Dax Shepard?

  I mean, you could have forgotten some of these. There's so many. You could have like forgot you were with Brad Pitt.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  That's probably a pretty memorable one. No, that's a crazy, unpredictable list of people.

• 56:21Dax Shepard?

  I only put two of them in bold. Actually, I put three, but we already talked about Heath.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Which are the ones in bold?

• 56:26Dax Shepard?

  Nick Cage is like my great obsession in life.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Has he been on the show?

• 56:29Dax Shepard?

  No. I've written so many letters. I'm just so obsessed with him.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:33Dax Shepard?

  Can you tell me what the experience was like?

• 56:35Speaker 02

  He's a true eccentric. We went to an animal farm and got to hold an eagle and he was working out at midnight in his trailer. You know, like all the incredible things. We were doing a press conference for the movie, like a pretty rote, typical, boring thing. And he leaned over to me and said, I'm gonna try to do this whole thing without saying I or me. Oh, that's cool.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 57:00Dax Shepard?

  He's a living art installation.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  And he did. He was like, when one believes that one is so great. He's having the last laugh.

• 57:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  I hope he comes on.

• 57:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, me too, me too. The only other name I put in bold is Ethan Hawke. And for the reason that...

• 57:20Dax Shepard?

  I admire him in such a specific way. A, he's incredible. We've had him on and he's such a philosopher.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  He's just such a storyteller. He's very close with Bobby.

• 57:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he is?

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're really close. And again, Ethan could have gone so many ways. He was a pinup out of Dead Poets and he could have gone so many ways. And he's a true artist. That takes such drive and such belief. Similar to Heath, like, I'm not gonna sign the seven year. He's done theater. He loves that theater is his church, like Bobby. Like, he's that guy. And I was so lucky to work with him.

• 57:51Dax Shepard?

  And what's acting with him, like, did you get that feeling where like, oh, I'm so planted?

• 57:57Speaker 02

  So funny. The dynamic in that film was very specific, but he's a true collaborator. So it was like endless creative conversation about this. And he's an open book. He's really candid. He lives for the art and he's inspiring. It's easy to get cynical and it's easy to get lazy. And he's just so the opposite of all of that stuff. He's just on fire. And I've seen him at these festivals. You know, he has Blue Moon coming out, which Bobby's in as well. Rick Linklater's one of his latest films and Incredible Storyed History together, the two of them. And so every time I see Ethan, I'm just like, I'm home. Oh, that's beautiful.

• 58:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay, If I Had Legs, I Would Kick You, that comes out October 10th. I watched it a couple nights ago and it's grueling. It's hard.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  It's a lot. It's pretty radical.

• 58:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I admire you. And I'm curious how you decide to leave the fun world and throw yourself so deeply into that.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  And I'm really curious about, you asked Dex, did you get it? I'm waiting to hear his take. He said grueling so far.

• 59:00Dax Shepard?

  I wonder if I got it.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Whatever you had is right. Whatever speaks to you or doesn't speak to you.

• 59:04Dax Shepard?

  I reject that in this case. This is a writer-director. She has obviously a real, I don't know if it's her experience, but she has an experience to display or let you inside of, or some feeling mentally that you're going to experience. So I do think it's actually quite specific. As opposed to a lot of movies, yeah, where I could say like, what was in the box in Pulp Fiction? I don't know. Is it the fucking Ten Commandments or not? That's up for me to decide. But this is like, well, let's set it up as much as we can. This is probably a hard one for you to promote.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Well, it's funny because it's not set up for the audience. You are dropped into a Crisis, madness, and the tension does not stop. It is a relentless experience and it's purely from the perspective of this woman.

• 59:48Dax Shepard?

  You're almost the only person we see in the movie.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Yes, and it is a fever dream. If you're not sure what's real, it sort of defies genre. There is some horror. I laughed, I think it's funny. There is some gallows humor. There is a valve relieved throughout the film for the audience.

• 1:00:01Dax Shepard?

  But you're a mother and you have a child that is sick.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:00:04Dax Shepard?

  She has some illness, we're not quite certain, but it does involve a feeding tube. And she has weight objectives. She has to hit a certain weight before.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  She's discharged from this program, yes.

• 1:00:14Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And she won't comply, as kids don't. You can't get her to eat and gain weight. And you're kind of stuck in this purgatory. And you're unraveling in many, many ways. You have a terrible relationship with your husband.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  And my therapist.

• 1:00:28Dax Shepard?

  He's vomitous. Conan's her therapist.

• 1:00:30Speaker 02

  Oh, amazing.

• 1:00:32Dax Shepard?

  It's very fun to watch him act. I enjoyed that quite a bit. And you have these interesting parallels between the way you are inappropriate with your therapist and you yourself are a therapist and your patients are quite inappropriate with you. And yet you don't seem to see the parallels between any of this.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  She can't see anything. She can't see her child. The audience doesn't see the child. It's someone in a crisis and it's someone who's a caretaker more than a mother. I feel the film is about that in many ways. She's not in that role as a mother anymore. And she speaks about that, like this isn't what I want. This isn't what it's supposed to be. And everyone's been a caretaker, whether it's for a friend or a spouse or an animal or a parent, and that feeling of drowning under the pressure of that.

• 1:01:13Dax Shepard?

  That was the exact word I used. I was like, I felt like I was watching you drown for a very, very long time.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  It's radical movie and it's kind of punk rock to.

• 1:01:21Dax Shepard?

  It's very bold.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  Things about being a mother, people don't want to talk about. A lot of shame around any mother if you talk about disappointment or fear.

• 1:01:28Dax Shepard?

  So that's what I think it's about. I think it is an extremely heightened metaphor for the impossible pressures that are on modern mothers.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  See, there you go. There's your take. Oh, there you go.

• 1:01:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. But why it makes it hard for me to watch is I'm sure it's hard for you to watch. The notion of talking to my children, the way that you talk to your kid, I hate it.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Dax Shepard?

  I fucking hate it.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  It's deeply uncomfortable.

• 1:01:54Dax Shepard?

  It is. And I imagine one of my little girls getting that source of comfort in a situation like that, and I'm irate. So in that way, the movie's extremely powerful because I'm having very intense.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Strong reaction. It asks a lot. It's a radical kind of take on this stuff. And this is a tradition of seeing a woman break down. We've seen it before, the great Jenna Rollins. But I'm just saying, this is a tradition of storytelling, a trope. But this is through a female storyteller. This is through a female director, writer, and that is so wild and radical. We just haven't seen it that much. And truly from that perspective, literally through the lens of that. So it's interesting to hear how people feel and respond about it.

• 1:02:35Dax Shepard?

  How do you come to be involved? You get the script at some point. And what is on the page of this movie?

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  My agent is very discerning, and she's only written a few times where she's like, you need to read this. I devoured it, and it was like fire. This hot piece of paper was just ripping through. And there was great symmetry in the script. What is happening in front of Linda in many ways is happening. How do I put this? There's metaphors that are happening in her life that she can't see that are also happening in her work, that are happening in her relationship, that are happening in her home. It skirts around existential stuff, which is great and something I'm drawn to as a viewer.

• 1:03:10Dax Shepard?

  And depression. What also is very clear to me is you get yourself into such a hole that objectivity escapes you. And it's the thing you need the most. And the disease itself is what makes that impossible. Like, the cruelty of that spiral.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  And she's trying to escape. You know, it's bad choices and bad decisions and this constant need of trying to escape. But when I saw the film, I obviously knew the language Mary was using when we were filming it. The camera was extremely close. I was like,

• 1:03:37Dax Shepard?

  ooh. Back up.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  Okay. On the first day, I was like, are you gonna be that close? And she was like, I am. But the visual storytelling is so arresting and I'm still figuring out the movie. There's so much ambiguity in the movie. There's so many questions asked and no answers. And I felt like that, for me, as a viewer, something I'm still trying to figure out, which is really cool. Did you enjoy it? I loved it.

• 1:04:01Dax Shepard?

  Could you enjoy? Yeah, that's my question.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Oh, I loved it. What a gift, what an opportunity. It was a high wire act of figuring it out every day. We had five or six weeks, just Mary and I at her kitchen table, talking.

• 1:04:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  About every line of dialogue, every piece of punctuation, like rehearsing for a play, you know? This gift of just talking and without that, I would have felt untethered. And it was shot in 26 days. It's not a big movie. It's ambitious movie. There's these crazy sequences in it, like with the hamster or the hole falling, the sequence at the beach. All this very practical stuff. There was no CGI.

• 1:04:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you gotta figure out how to shoot that.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  She pushed the whole thing up.

• 1:04:33Dax Shepard?

  But do you suffer personally?

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  I don't take it home. I have two little kids. I am not interested in, they're not interested.

• 1:04:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  If I'm having a hard day.

• 1:04:45Dax Shepard?

  Nor should they be.

• 1:04:45Speaker 02

  And nor should they be. And that's like, you know?

• 1:04:48Dax Shepard?

  We just talked about The Giving Tree.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  I have problems with that.

• 1:04:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's a heartbreaking book. We just broke it down for way too long on the fact check.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, we did. Do you think it's like a wildly misogynistic book? We think the tree is the mom.

• 1:05:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think the tree is the mom. I think it's totally heartbreaking. He is selfish, he's abusive, he destroys her. And also, this is the point I was trying to push on Monica, that's parenting and you don't care. I don't want anything back. Take my limbs, take my legs. I'm happy if I push you over the finish line while I have you. So weirdly, it is heartbreaking, but also that's parenting and that's great. Cause I'm not a victim in the parenting. I received it and now I'll get to do it. And if you think of the tree as a mom who genuinely gets joy out of caring for and providing for and taking care of. In that way, it's not as bad as, it's a heartbreaking book. I just read to my kids last night, that's why we were talking about it.

• 1:05:45Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, yeah, this book is the saddest book. I hate this book. But I'm like, but also. I don't feel that way about parenting.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  If it's a kid and a mom. Whether the parent feels like it's okay, it's also just not okay. Like, take, take, take, take, taking and not giving.

• 1:06:02Dax Shepard?

  It was parasitic.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Exactly. So, yeah.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Problematic. Yes.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  I will revisit.

• 1:06:08Dax Shepard?

  But can you relate to what I'm saying about how, if you were to evaluate a friendship by that book, that would be a terrible friendship. And I would never have a friend that was a one-way street that I gave.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Of course, or a marriage. These relationships are conditional on treatment and respect. And you're not staying with that friendship or that marriage.

• 1:06:26Dax Shepard?

  They have to be symbiotic.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Of course. There are conditions. But with a child, absolutely.

• 1:06:30Dax Shepard?

  It's a whole different framework, which is interesting. And if you maybe make it that physical and literal, it points out how extreme the situation is. But also, that might be what's so beautiful about the situation.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  I will revisit.

• 1:06:42Dax Shepard?

  It's a complicated book. We're discovering it might be more complicated.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  We decided we want to invite Shell Silverstein to the, yeah, to the pod when we do our ghost podcast.

• 1:06:52Dax Shepard?

  When we find a medium.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:54Dax Shepard?

  We need a really good medium.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  We have questions to ask him about this.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  Wouldn't that be fantastic?

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  Right?

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Bring a medium in.

• 1:07:00Dax Shepard?

  The notion that you willingly went through this is, like I said, it's really admirable.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  I didn't want to fuck it up. And it is a personal story to Mary Bronstein. I felt like it was such a wildly unconventional, extraordinary thing.

• 1:07:12Dax Shepard?

  Enormously brave to acknowledge that whole side of someone.

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  Especially of mothers. That's a scary thing.

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  And I have an undercut in the movie.

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  What's that mean?

• 1:07:22Dax Shepard?

  An undercut?

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  A buzz cut.

• 1:07:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. I liked that. I liked that. Did you like that?

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Well, can you give me some credit that I shaved my?

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  You did. That is wild.

• 1:07:33Dax Shepard?

  You don't even know what you just walked into. I have been begging Monica for eight years to shave the side of her hair.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  I'm like, you have such rad hair. You have gorgeous hair. Your hair is like Vidal Sassoon.

• 1:07:46Dax Shepard?

  Can you imagine how good like this level of growing would look in black?

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  I can't do it.

• 1:07:53Dax Shepard?

  She thinks she can't, and I accept that if it weren't because I think she thinks she can't pull it off. And that I refuse.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  It's not that I can't pull it off. It is not me. It's not my personality.

• 1:08:03Dax Shepard?

  You're limiting yourself. We don't know what you are with that haircut.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  I'm fine with it not being my person. You're the one that wants me to have a new personality.

• 1:08:10Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  I have a friend who has it here with a tattoo.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool. But it's probably that person's personality.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  It is. It is. Yeah, yeah, it is.

• 1:08:18Dax Shepard?

  But sometimes you can work from the outside in and you can discover like, oh, what's new?

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  You know, when you're figuring out the character and you're like, or the person. Exactly.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  Okay, fine. You can write a script and cast it.

• 1:08:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that could be how I do it.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  But I need to be able to pick my co-stars. Like, I need it to be like, gross, please. Maybe, like, I get the best of the best.

• 1:08:37Dax Shepard?

  And I gotta sell finance. It's gonna cost me a lot of time and money too.

• 1:08:40Speaker 01

  A hefty haircut, okay?

• 1:08:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I gotta tell you one funny thing. So I was cutting Monica's hair on air. I cut hair.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  He does a good job cutting hair.

• 1:08:48Dax Shepard?

  I have not had my hair cut by anyone but me in three years.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  Do you do Kristen's hair?

• 1:08:52Dax Shepard?

  I have done Kristen's hair. I've done her mother's hair. And so I was giving Monica trim before she took a trip. And I had secretly in my back pocket, I put my clippers and she was sitting in that chair and I was like working on her thing. And then I just started up the clippers.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Pretend he was a trick. It was a mean trick.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  For us anxious girls.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  It was scary.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Were you like, fuck, do I really wanna shave my head?

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  It was my idea. It was like, something's missing.

• 1:09:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that was a good move. Did you love how you looked in it? Cause it's a cool look.

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  She looks busted. She looks really busted in the movie.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  Cause she's losing it.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  It's someone who's given up.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  It is a sign of, it can be a sign of real depression when someone like you's.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  I mean, I remember having a therapist. Who looked like they'd given up. Oh God, that is not a good sign. And we didn't last long, but she had given up. She had quit. Yeah. That's not who you want to be therapizing you. I'm sure we've all had therapy in this room. And it is a rich examination of that, particularly with the Conan character in mind, because it's at the bitter end of a relationship with a therapist when they're both deeply misbehaving. Wow. And not doing their jobs properly. They're not doing the work, a lot of transference going on. Lots of transference.

• 1:10:09Dax Shepard?

  Just the notion, you're telling him about a dream you had about him. And I was like, I can't imagine saying to my therapist, so hey, I had this dream about you and you kissed me. I mean, and then your patient says the exact same thing to you.

• 1:10:22Speaker 02

  Oh, that's the same.

• 1:10:23Dax Shepard?

  No one's doing therapy right in this building.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  But the reveal is great. It's a lot of twists and turns.

• 1:10:28Dax Shepard?

  Well, listen, I wish it followed the same trajectory of Insidious. May this a hundred X the budget.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh, that'd be great.

• 1:10:37Dax Shepard?

  I wish you ton of luck. You're so brave. And once again, proving the point I made earlier, my God, can you do it all?

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:10:44Dax Shepard?

  You're just like devastatingly good and heartbreaking and fucked up.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  She's like, get me out of here.

• 1:10:49Dax Shepard?

  And then you're simultaneously being funny and wonderful on Plutonic.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're so sweet. Thanks for having me in their armchair. Finally, I got to come here and chat it up.

• 1:11:00Dax Shepard?

  Well, thank you, Rose.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  Thanks for coming. Supporting the movie.

• 1:11:03Dax Shepard?

  Yes, of course. I wish you luck. Everyone see it October 10th. Find it in a theater near you.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:09Dax Shepard?

  Go see it live. I imagine the experience in the theater will be a little bit like our movie last year that was intense like that. Substance.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Oh. Ooh.

• 1:11:18Dax Shepard?

  Did you see Substance in a theater? It's funny, you can be in them, but you can't.

• 1:11:22Speaker 02

  The gore, I'm like, oh gosh, for me, I'm creepy crawly.

• 1:11:25Dax Shepard?

  It was intense.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  It's so funny, though. It is very punk rock, that movie. It's wild.

• 1:11:30Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 1:11:31Speaker 02

  Thank you. Thanks, guys.

• 1:11:34Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:11:41Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by HP. My mental to do list is already full. Uh, fix something around the house, refill prescriptions. Remember to text someone back. Keep track of a million little life things. The last thing I want on that list is, oh, don't forget printer ink.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  No, it's horrible.

• 1:11:57Dax Shepard?

  It's the bane of everyone's existence. What if you could just take that off your list for years?

• 1:12:03Speaker 01

  The dream.

• 1:12:04Dax Shepard?

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• 1:12:50Dax Shepard?

  This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts. The stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it. Start to finish. Cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 1:13:33Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity. Or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had majorary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrineoplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes, if you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be or taking birth control pills and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems. Once Daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8 milligram, 2.5 milligram,

• 1:14:49Speaker 03

  5.5 milligram, 9 milligram, 14.5 milligram, and 17.2 milligram tablets. Learn more at foundo.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 1:15:02Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  You know, I love. Therapy, more than anything, gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 1:15:51Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it. And I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud, the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds. Once it's out into the world, you gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:16:06Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 1:16:46Dax Shepard?

  Hi.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  First and foremost.

• 1:16:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  I want to say it was so heartwarming. All the Jennifer Aniston comments.

• 1:16:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  Were so heartwarming and especially because, so I feel like I should say this because people are probably going to be upset.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  I do look at the first few comments because those are people I know.

• 1:17:15Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  And I do, and it's nothing, nothing against people who are strangers.

• 1:17:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, you can't trust them.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  No, I just, I just don't want to be like swayed in any way by strangers' opinions, good or bad. But the people in my life, I do feel like I want to, you know, connect with or whatever.

• 1:17:35Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Um, so.

• 1:17:37Dax Shepard?

  Also, heaven forbid Jen commented.

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  Heavens.

• 1:17:41Dax Shepard?

  Not forbid, but heaven.

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  Heavens.

• 1:17:43Dax Shepard?

  Willing. Heaven willing.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:46Dax Shepard?

  Jasper's prayers.

• 1:17:49Dax Shepard?

  That should be a saying. Oh, Jasper's prayers.

• 1:17:52Speaker 01

  Jasper's?

• 1:17:53Dax Shepard?

  Jasper's.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  Who's Jasper?

• 1:17:55Dax Shepard?

  Um, I don't know Jasper Daniels. Jasper Newton Daniels was Jack Daniels' real name.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:18:02Dax Shepard?

  I think it's a name, Jasper.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Sure, I didn't know if that was a person you were referring to.

• 1:18:06Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't think I've ever met a Jasper, unfortunately.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  Me, that's kind of...

• 1:18:10Dax Shepard?

  But what did I just say, Jasper?

• 1:18:11Speaker 01

  Jasper's prayers.

• 1:18:12Dax Shepard?

  Jasper's prayers, like that should mean something great, fortuitous.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, anyway, a bunch of...

• 1:18:18Dax Shepard?

  Sorry.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  A bunch of, a bunch of people really came out of the woodwork.

• 1:18:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, in your friend group?

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  In, in people I knew in high school and stuff. And it was really sweet because they, they were around for my, the height of my friend's addiction. And so that was so cute because they were like, Monica, I, I can't believe this for you.

• 1:18:41Dax Shepard?

  Space-time fabric is torn.

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  Yes, and like someone from my improv group, my UCB improv group was like, I had, we would practice in my apartment.

• 1:18:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  And she was like, I have the images, the image of your box set like burned into my memory. I was like, ah, how sweet.

• 1:19:04Dax Shepard?

  What if there's a comment that said, um, guess I was wrong about Dairy Queen. Cry face, cry face, cry face.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:19:13Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  The guy?

• 1:19:15Dax Shepard?

  Jasper.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  Jasper?

• 1:19:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and then crying faces.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  You want us to feel bad?

• 1:19:21Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:19:21Speaker 01

  You think he, you think he meant it for real?

• 1:19:24Dax Shepard?

  No, he's, he's, it's a regret.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:19:29Dax Shepard?

  He's like, I guess I was wrong about Dairy Queen. Cry face, cry face, cry face.

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  He was wrong about...

• 1:19:36Dax Shepard?

  I mean, he was literally wrong and he was metaphorically wrong and, and objectively wrong.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:19:42Dax Shepard?

  And emotionally and spiritually wrong.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I...

• 1:19:44Dax Shepard?

  Spiritually right.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  I don't, no.

• 1:19:46Dax Shepard?

  You gotta throw one right in there.

• 1:19:48Speaker 01

  I don't want him to hold that.

• 1:19:51Dax Shepard?

  My comments on that episode were solely about you. I mean, God bless Jen Aniston, but she didn't get a lot of feedback.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  Jasper's prayers for Jen Aniston.

• 1:20:02Dax Shepard?

  Someone did write, Ashok's just showing off now.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  Right, I know.

• 1:20:08Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you saw that?

• 1:20:08Speaker 01

  No, but I, he is.

• 1:20:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's just showing off now.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my dad.

• 1:20:13Dax Shepard?

  I hope it's not that his grand finale.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  Dax!

• 1:20:17Dax Shepard?

  Monica!

• 1:20:18Speaker 01

  Don't, for real, don't say that.

• 1:20:20Dax Shepard?

  Wait, hold on. Let's be clear about what you think I'm saying.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  He's gonna die?

• 1:20:24Dax Shepard?

  No. The Sims is gonna be over in that. I guess in that way, we're all gonna die, but don't let him on.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ. I've been feeling a lot of anxiety.

• 1:20:33Dax Shepard?

  You're real on edge.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know why. I feel even like, I feel jinxed saying this.

• 1:20:39Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  But I think, obviously, I'm sure it's just because his sister just passed away.

• 1:20:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, uh-huh.

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  That I'm like, I just feel anxious about him.

• 1:20:48Dax Shepard?

  Yes, but he's a good, he was a good 14, 16 years younger than his sister.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Like 12 or 11.

• 1:20:56Dax Shepard?

  Your dad's almost...

• 1:20:57Speaker 01

  My dad's 70.

• 1:20:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he's 70. Wasn't she 84 or 85?

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  One or two. We don't really know anyone's real ages.

• 1:21:05Dax Shepard?

  Okay, India didn't.

• 1:21:06Speaker 01

  They didn't.

• 1:21:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, listen for them.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, so, um...

• 1:21:12Dax Shepard?

  Well...

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I'm just a little anxious about him, you know?

• 1:21:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  And then I called them on Sunday to chit chat.

• 1:21:23Dax Shepard?

  Have a little check-in chit chat?

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, we check in on Sundays.

• 1:21:27Dax Shepard?

  Sundays check-in?

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  And they were watching some documentary or something. Ooh, pin in that.

• 1:21:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:21:34Speaker 01

  Okay, they're watching some documentary and like...

• 1:21:36Dax Shepard?

  I think it's earmark, but go ahead.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:21:39Dax Shepard?

  Pin in it. That means stop, right? Put a pin in it?

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  I wanna say what I wanna say.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  Now, now, there's one side of the couch that has a chaise. It's a small couch. The living room is kind of weirdly shaped, so it kind of is this size.

• 1:21:58Dax Shepard?

  It only accommodates a couch of that size.

• 1:22:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  And so one side has a chaise, and my mom always gets that side.

• 1:22:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, well, she's gonna be doing her YouTube.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Yes, she does. She has a whole setup.

• 1:22:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she needs it. Your dad doesn't need all that space.

• 1:22:12Speaker 01

  Well, okay, then they're watching TV together and he's like, he looks so uncomfortable on that couch. And it makes me so sad.

• 1:22:22Dax Shepard?

  I don't think he is. I think you're projecting. I think he's, he would get himself comfortable. He's a very smart man.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  He doesn't know what comfort is.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  I don't think he knows what it's like to be comfortable.

• 1:22:37Dax Shepard?

  You have a really dynamic assessment of your father. He's like, you like infantilize him at some times.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:22:43Dax Shepard?

  And he's a dad.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  Of course, he's a dad.

• 1:22:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:22:47Dax Shepard?

  He like knows everything and yet

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  He does.

• 1:22:49Dax Shepard?

  He doesn't know what comfort is.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  No, it's okay. He doesn't because he's like, I don't care about, he just, it's like, as you said, you said this once about dads. Like you're starting to understand like dads just start to like, they just like be quiet and they

• 1:23:06Dax Shepard?

  Deal with it.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  They deal, they don't speak up, they don't say I'm uncomfortable.

• 1:23:11Dax Shepard?

  Right, but

• 1:23:12Speaker 01

  So that's what's happening.

• 1:23:13Dax Shepard?

  I'd argue that your dad is comfortable in that scenario.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  Well, his body looks uncomfortable to me and, and dis-

• 1:23:21Dax Shepard?

  That's because he's not lifting. That's because he's not lifting.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  He's not lifting, no.

• 1:23:26Dax Shepard?

  If he started lifting, his posture would take over and he would, his form would be a little different.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  No, okay. Well, also when I was, when I'm home and sometimes I've sat there.

• 1:23:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  It's not, okay, maybe this is a better, this was a better way to start it. Objectively, it's not a comfortable spot on the couch at all. Cause there's this like other little pillow to kind of put your feet on and it's like not good.

• 1:23:50Dax Shepard?

  Now, why aren't you buying them a couch for Christmas?

• 1:23:53Speaker 01

  I, I keep saying, let's get a new couch, but there's not a good couch for that space.

• 1:23:59Dax Shepard?

  In this modern era with AI, if you put in the dimensions of the current couch.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:06Dax Shepard?

  And say, I want a couch at this dimensions and this price range, I bet it'd find you an answer in one second.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Okay, my mom's gonna be mad at you about this because she's like, I've looked, I've done it.

• 1:24:17Dax Shepard?

  But she's a human.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  Because

• 1:24:18Dax Shepard?

  We can only look so good.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  No, it's because like the angle of the living room is strange. Like you walk in.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  You can't really have a chaise on both sides.

• 1:24:30Dax Shepard?

  You're making it seem like this living room is somehow like 22 square feet in shape like a peanut shell or something.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  It is shaped really strange.

• 1:24:39Dax Shepard?

  Why, why?

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  Because.

• 1:24:40Dax Shepard?

  Is there a stairwell in the middle or something?

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  Well, there are stairs, but also.

• 1:24:44Dax Shepard?

  Could you have them send a pick over of this?

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:47Dax Shepard?

  Layout, we'll post it. Have them get on the couch, too. I want to see your dad in this position and see if I agree that he's uncomfortable. I'm glad you're bringing up dads. My wife is out of town.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:24:58Dax Shepard?

  For the week and, uh, and it's, uh, it's an inordinately busy week with the kids and the schedules.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:25:07Dax Shepard?

  Um, we have, um, Lincoln has play rehearsal at night.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:25:13Dax Shepard?

  Delta has, Delta's up and joined a volleyball team.

• 1:25:17Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:25:18Dax Shepard?

  Yep. So she had her first practice on Monday night. And then last night, Lincoln, her rehearsal tonight, her first game. Her first practice was Monday, her first game is tonight.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, that's too fast, not enough practice.

• 1:25:35Dax Shepard?

  It's very quick. We've got two different projects that are due at school.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  I saw one on the table. It was so cute.

• 1:25:42Dax Shepard?

  Yes, like the whole chain of food chain in the tropical food chain. Yes, yes. And then Lincoln has this crazy sewing project.

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:25:55Dax Shepard?

  I mean, it's all cool if you're not the only adult at the house.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:01Dax Shepard?

  And, uh, and so like Monday night, Delta goes, uh, what is they, yeah, Delta goes, uh, are you gonna get up and make us breakfast? And I go, no, I'll be journaling and meditating.

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  Oh, shit. Okay.

• 1:26:15Dax Shepard?

  You can make your breakfast. Mind you, she makes dinner and lunch when she wants it.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  She makes breakfast a lot.

• 1:26:21Dax Shepard?

  Kristen, especially if she's about to go out of town.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:26:25Dax Shepard?

  She'll really get up early and put on a show.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:26:28Dax Shepard?

  I get it.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:26:29Dax Shepard?

  Pancakes and stuff.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  Yum.

• 1:26:31Dax Shepard?

  I know. So I can't really imagine this childhood that these kids are having.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  I want that.

• 1:26:35Dax Shepard?

  Um, so I'm like, uh, girl, you know how to make toast, oatmeal, cereal, eggs? They can cook eggs? I'm like, you know, you know how to make breakfast.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  But she wants to do her hair and get ready and then come and sit and the breakfast is ready, of course.

• 1:26:48Dax Shepard?

  This girl gets up so early, she got time for all of it.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:26:51Dax Shepard?

  So anyways, she's, it was the way she accepted it. That I felt, no, she was like really kind of generous about it.

• 1:27:02Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:27:03Dax Shepard?

  That I then felt bad.

• 1:27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:05Dax Shepard?

  So then I did wake up really early.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  Today?

• 1:27:08Dax Shepard?

  Yesterday morning.

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:27:10Dax Shepard?

  And I make, cause Monday night she said, are you gonna make breakfast tomorrow?

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:27:14Dax Shepard?

  No. But then the way she like, okay. And then I felt bad. So then I did wake up and I made eggs for everyone.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:27:20Dax Shepard?

  It's great. It's really great. And so last night I was like, I can't. Something's gotta give. Something's gotta give in this scenario. So I did a preorder from Starbucks. I really indulged.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:27:34Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:27:35Speaker 01

  Okay. By the way, pin in something's gotta give.

• 1:27:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, right. And we have another existing earmark? Or is that the same one? Cause you said, put a pin in it a minute ago.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  And now I already forgot. Damn it.

• 1:27:46Dax Shepard?

  So yeah, I just kind of splurged and I put in an order. I know the refreshers they like, and then they like the pesto. This sounds like an ad. It's not an ad. I wish. It's insane. They're not a sponsor, but.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause the egg bites are great.

• 1:27:58Dax Shepard?

  So I got four of those bad dogs.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:00Dax Shepard?

  Got myself kind of a fancy coffee. It was great. Other than, I will say this, there, you know, there's often paparazzi in front of my gate. And there's probably a two million photos of me getting Postmates. Of course, they don't sell one of these photos. No, no one wants to see this.

• 1:28:18Speaker 01

  Food delivery. Yeah.

• 1:28:19Dax Shepard?

  But I scrambled outside. It did occur to me. I like grabbed this Starbies at seven in the morning. And I was wearing a very thin pajama bottom and a tank top. And I was like, as the gates were opening, I was like, oh, this, this is not the wardrobe for a paparazzi. Unless I want the entire world to see my penis.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:28:41Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  So keep your eyes peeled, I guess.

• 1:28:43Dax Shepard?

  There was not a paparazzi, luckily, but I just was like, oh, I didn't think this through as it was too late.

• 1:28:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then you were upset because you were like, oh, like I can't even.

• 1:28:52Dax Shepard?

  I can't even do.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  Get my egg bites.

• 1:28:54Dax Shepard?

  I just was like, you got, I gotta have a better game plan if I repeat this move tomorrow morning, which I'm likely to do. Um, and then so busy, busy, busy, messy, messy, messy. That's from Frosty the Snowman.

• 1:29:08Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:29:09Dax Shepard?

  Um, so anyways, I, I hit the, by the time I was, I took the girls to the In-N-Out last night.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:29:16Dax Shepard?

  And on the ride there at five PM, I said to them, I said, Lincoln, you might have to take the steering wheel. I think I'm gonna fall asleep.

• 1:29:25Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:29:26Dax Shepard?

  I was so tired at five PM.

• 1:29:28Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:29:29Dax Shepard?

  But then I stayed, we stayed up naturally till, I don't know, nine 30, fell asleep and I was, I was so tired. Then Monica, three AM, wakey, wakey.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:29:41Dax Shepard?

  Put my grant book on tape, back on, fall back asleep, 30 minutes later, I, I did that three times, five, 4:40, I'm like, what's, we're doing it. So again, I got up at four 40 this morning.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. And then.

• 1:29:54Dax Shepard?

  I did get a lot of writing done.

• 1:29:56Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:29:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that was, that was good. That was rewarding.

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  Did you use the time to make breakfast?

• 1:30:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, I had already put in the Starbucks plan.

• 1:30:03Speaker 01

  Oh, God, you could've.

• 1:30:05Dax Shepard?

  I didn't end up needing to do that as, as Murphy's law would have it.

• 1:30:09Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:30:09Dax Shepard?

  Um, but whatever, it was coming and I, I was gonna accept it.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:30:13Dax Shepard?

  And I needed the caffeine. Uh.

• 1:30:16Speaker 01

  I understand. When my dad, when my mom would be si- was sick.

• 1:30:19Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  Or have a sickness or something and my dad was in charge, we would have Subway for every meal.

• 1:30:26Dax Shepard?

  Sure. Did you like it?

• 1:30:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  But also it was like, oh, God.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  When is she gonna be better? Oh, my God.

• 1:30:36Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:30:37Speaker 01

  Um, speaking of that, I'm reading a book called The Wedding People and there was a line in there that said something about people who wake up at three AM.

• 1:30:47Dax Shepard?

  What did it say?

• 1:30:49Speaker 01

  And I meant, uh, dog ear, dog ear, another word we could use instead of pin or.

• 1:30:56Dax Shepard?

  Earmark.

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  Earmark.

• 1:30:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:58Speaker 01

  And I didn't.

• 1:31:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  It's in my bag. I'm tempted to go look really quick.

• 1:31:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Go ahead.

• 1:31:06Speaker 01

  I'm just curious if I.

• 1:31:07Dax Shepard?

  I may be asleep when you return, but that's okay.

• 1:31:11Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:31:18Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 1:31:34Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 1:31:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 1:32:01Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 1:32:03Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 1:32:18Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram is helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 1:32:22Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:32:37Dax Shepard?

  Well, because I'm sleeping about five hours a night and then I'm doing the job of two parents.

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, but why don't you nap while they're at school? I know, but we didn't have anything yesterday.

• 1:32:48Dax Shepard?

  I had stuff wall to wall yesterday.

• 1:32:50Speaker 01

  What'd you have?

• 1:32:51Dax Shepard?

  Well, one thing was incredible. I took a bike, my first buddy bike ride with Nate.

• 1:32:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:32:57Dax Shepard?

  He got a bicycle, which is so exciting. And we went up to the observatory.

• 1:33:00Speaker 01

  Fun.

• 1:33:01Dax Shepard?

  Then we had breakfast, so that doesn't really count. But then I edited two episodes of the show. I wrote my opening.

• 1:33:06Speaker 01

  Of, of mom's car?

• 1:33:08Dax Shepard?

  Mom's car. And then I wrote my opening for an MC job I have. And then the kids were home from school. On the that, no, I do just want to say. The Bree's episode came out.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:33:25Dax Shepard?

  So good.

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:33:27Dax Shepard?

  And I'm so happy about it. I'm really, really happy about it. I'm happy mostly because she liked it and her mom liked it. And that's a big relief.

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  That's huge.

• 1:33:36Dax Shepard?

  And then the arm cherries really, really love Bree. No shocker.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:41Dax Shepard?

  Um, but that just makes me so happy. If you haven't heard that episode of Mom's Car, I recommend it. It's so good.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  All right, well, it's something about people who wake up at 3 a.m.

• 1:33:50Dax Shepard?

  Now, in your mind, can you see what side of the page it's on and where roughly?

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Um, yeah.

• 1:33:55Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that weird? Like, that is how my brain works. I don't want to go so far as to say a photographic memory, but I do know where anything I remember is physically situated on the page.

• 1:34:06Speaker 01

  I think it's on this side.

• 1:34:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  But I'm not finding it, so.

• 1:34:12Dax Shepard?

  Can you believe that guy that Rain Man was based on, who reads books all day long at the Salt Lake City, library, that he reads both pages at the same time with two different eyes?

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Can you imagine?

• 1:34:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I thought you found it.

• 1:34:26Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I thought I was trying to do it.

• 1:34:27Dax Shepard?

  No, it can't be done.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  It can be if that guy can.

• 1:34:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:33Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:34:34Dax Shepard?

  Trade offs.

• 1:34:34Speaker 01

  Maybe one day I'll find it. But it's like, it was like, it was a very interesting point.

• 1:34:40Dax Shepard?

  What book is it?

• 1:34:41Speaker 01

  It's called The Wedding People.

• 1:34:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:34:44Speaker 01

  Pin in Something's Gotta Give.

• 1:34:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:34:47Speaker 01

  Okay, I watched it, that movie, Something's Gotta Give, with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.

• 1:34:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 1:34:57Speaker 01

  I just, I guess, I mean, this is a horrible thing to say because, you know, I love rom coms so much.

• 1:35:03Dax Shepard?

  It's a Nancy Meyers.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Yes, a Nancy Meyers movie. And I love rom coms and I love Nancy Meyers and I can't, but I was like, I haven't seen it. So Diane Keaton sadly has passed away.

• 1:35:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, former co-star of mine.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:35:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I did a movie. It's called Smother with her.

• 1:35:21Speaker 01

  Wow. Well, I love her and um, so I decided to watch it, but I think I hadn't watched it because I was like, oh, that's that like old person rom com.

• 1:35:30Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  You know, when I was like young and.

• 1:35:33Dax Shepard?

  But isn't Keanu and Favreau in it?

• 1:35:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:35Speaker 01

  And um.

• 1:35:37Dax Shepard?

  Amanda Peet, maybe?

• 1:35:37Speaker 01

  Yep, she's in it as well. Wow, you know it well.

• 1:35:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:41Speaker 01

  And anywho, I um, loved it. She is, she's so good and like, she's just doing a rom com and it's so um.

• 1:35:52Dax Shepard?

  Believable.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  It's so believable and heartfelt and oh my god, I loved it.

• 1:35:59Dax Shepard?

  I love it. Wait, wasn't it was um, was it Great Kinnear also? No, that's.

• 1:36:03Speaker 01

  No, that's another one I love.

• 1:36:05Dax Shepard?

  And the dog Trudell. Trudell, Trudell.

• 1:36:08Speaker 01

  And Hilton Hunt.

• 1:36:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:11Speaker 01

  What is it called? All's Well? All in All. As Good As It Gets.

• 1:36:17Dax Shepard?

  And what's the other one?

• 1:36:18Speaker 01

  Something's Gotta Get.

• 1:36:19Dax Shepard?

  Something's Gotta Get. This is insane. And Nicholson's in both movies.

• 1:36:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:36:24Speaker 01

  This is part of.

• 1:36:25Dax Shepard?

  And he has little bacon treats for the Brussels Scroffon.

• 1:36:27Speaker 01

  Yes, it's complicated. It's another one. So that was a fun thing I did. I left a party to watch it. Um. Okay, let's see. I had, um, I went to the movies by myself this weekend.

• 1:36:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  Which is a fun thing to do.

• 1:36:45Dax Shepard?

  It is. I like it quite a bit.

• 1:36:46Speaker 01

  Enjoy that. Um, I saw After the Hunt, the Julia Roberts, Iowa Debré, Andrew Garfield movie.

• 1:36:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I have not heard of that.

• 1:36:56Speaker 01

  It's by the director of Challengers.

• 1:36:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, your favorite.

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  My favorite. And um, Call Me By Your Name. And um, I'm still.

• 1:37:05Dax Shepard?

  Processing?

• 1:37:06Speaker 01

  Processing, so I'm not gonna give an a.

• 1:37:09Dax Shepard?

  A score?

• 1:37:10Speaker 01

  Not gonna give a score. I'm not gonna talk about.

• 1:37:12Dax Shepard?

  We don't really even do that, do we?

• 1:37:14Speaker 01

  Jess does. He makes.

• 1:37:15Dax Shepard?

  In real life.

• 1:37:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:17Dax Shepard?

  But never in here we ever do it.

• 1:37:18Speaker 01

  No, no, no. But yeah, I don't, I don't need to talk about the movie, but I will say, there were people, it wa, I guess to be fair, it was during the trailers, but there were multiple people in the theater that were talking at full volume.

• 1:37:33Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:37:34Speaker 01

  And I was so.

• 1:37:36Dax Shepard?

  Where did you see the movie?

• 1:37:38Speaker 01

  The Americana.

• 1:37:40Dax Shepard?

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:37:40Speaker 01

  It was at 12 o'clock.

• 1:37:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:37:43Speaker 01

  PM.

• 1:37:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:45Speaker 01

  Um, and they were talking at full volume and I was like, I was like doing this for the listener, just like looking around like a-

• 1:37:52Dax Shepard?

  Hoping to shame some, like catch their eyes and-

• 1:37:55Speaker 01

  Well, more like looking to see someone, other, somebody else be also looking like, what the fuck is happening?

• 1:38:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:02Speaker 01

  And then I thought, is this because of streaming? Is this because people don't know how to be in a theater anymore and be around other people? And respect that other people don't want to hear what you're saying?

• 1:38:14Dax Shepard?

  No, I think it, it really has a lot to do with where you see the movie, personally.

• 1:38:18Speaker 01

  Really? The Americana is so nice.

• 1:38:20Dax Shepard?

  I'll say, yes, there's a rash of insanity happening. We were at our trip to In-N-Out yesterday. This guy was watching on his phone at, at In-N-Out.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've seen this.

• 1:38:32Dax Shepard?

  A TV show or, or the news or something like as loud as possible.

• 1:38:36Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:38:37Dax Shepard?

  Coffee, like could have only had tuberculosis.

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:38:40Dax Shepard?

  I'm looking in, cause you know, at that In-N-Out, you can be seated right next to somebody, but you're not at their table.

• 1:38:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:46Dax Shepard?

  They've got those two tops like stacked in. And we just kept as a family, we kept going like, this guy just doesn't give a flying fuck. He's like, ah, ah, ah, watching TV. And I'm looking at this poor woman next to him who's up seven inches from this guy's face.

• 1:39:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:02Dax Shepard?

  And I had to make like CBT. I had to make, I had to start distracting myself because I started getting so sheriffy.

• 1:39:10Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 1:39:11Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, this is insane. He's ruining this poor woman's thing. He's ruining those people right next to him. No one's saying anything.

• 1:39:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:18Dax Shepard?

  He's just allowed to ruin everyone's meal.

• 1:39:20Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:39:21Dax Shepard?

  Uh, that they all stood in line for an eternity to enjoy. And I'm like, you know, I'm gonna say something and then I'm like, I'm not gonna, cause Lincoln will hate that.

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  Yes, good.

• 1:39:31Dax Shepard?

  So however much I'll be saving their discomfort, I'll be creating my own discomfort. But it is so hard for me to watch that.

• 1:39:39Speaker 01

  That is how I felt. I was like, at what, what, should I say something? I don't think if, at a movie theater, you should expect to have to deal with people speaking at full volume. Like, that is not, to be, to be fair, once the movie started, that did stop.

• 1:40:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 1:40:01Speaker 01

  So I guess they thought, like, during the trailers.

• 1:40:03Dax Shepard?

  I'm not willing to say that full statement because when I lived in Detroit and I'd go to the movies in Detroit, everyone there talks the whole movie and they love it. Like, they don't mind at all. Like, that's what's culturally happening and they're all happy as hell. So I make, who am I to say how they're supposed to be watching? How anyone's supposed to be watching a movie?

• 1:40:25Speaker 01

  Well, at a movie theater, literally, it, it tells you to be quiet.

• 1:40:31Dax Shepard?

  I know, I know.

• 1:40:32Speaker 01

  So that's a rule. That's an etiquette rule. Sure, maybe there's some theaters where people are like, no, this is a theater where everyone talks or something. And that's, that's not the Americana. I go to the Americana all the time. This isn't that.

• 1:40:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:44Speaker 01

  And it was like, I, you know, I was kind of doing a little bit of like, notice me and notice that I'm uncomfortable.

• 1:40:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. A little passive-aggressive, kinda. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:55Speaker 01

  Some passive aggression.

• 1:40:57Dax Shepard?

  Believe me, I was trying to get the guy's eye contact. He was coughing, but I couldn't compete with the news programming he was watching and all the coughing.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were.

• 1:41:03Dax Shepard?

  The lettuce that was shooting out of his mouth.

• 1:41:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Similarly, they were too deep in their worlds to recognize that other people don't want to be involved in your conversation. Or, and then I felt bad because I'm like, because then they were just laughing really loud and I was like.

• 1:41:21Dax Shepard?

  Having a good time.

• 1:41:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I was annoyed.

• 1:41:23Dax Shepard?

  Now, I am somewhere between them and you when it comes to trailers.

• 1:41:27Speaker 01

  See.

• 1:41:28Dax Shepard?

  Like, I didn't, I, I came to see another, one battle after another.

• 1:41:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Dax Shepard?

  If I'm seeing some terrible trailer for a movie I'm never gonna see, I'd certainly rather be talking to Nate.

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  Dax.

• 1:41:39Dax Shepard?

  And, and.

• 1:41:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's not fair.

• 1:41:41Dax Shepard?

  The movie hasn't started. I would never.

• 1:41:42Speaker 01

  Other people. It's about other people. Yeah, this really.

• 1:41:46Dax Shepard?

  What about if they talk during the commercials before the trailers?

• 1:41:48Speaker 01

  That's fine, but still not at full volume. Like, I, I guess, so I was realizing this. I was like, oh my God. That, obviously, we know I have injustice stuff. But I think it's very specifically triggered when it's people who think they're the only people on earth. Like, people who are not aware that other people.

• 1:42:17Dax Shepard?

  That's very unattractive. I agree with you. I agree with you. We already know what your thing is in this situation because we've already talked a lot about it. Which is what I think what's really getting triggered is you always felt like you had to do everything right or you'd be excluded. So when you see someone have total public disregard, making a spectacle of themselves, and they're not even afraid of getting excommunicated. I think that's what's in the mix that we've already talked about in the past.

• 1:42:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:47Dax Shepard?

  That's not it.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  That's not what's happening here. Here, I'm watch, I am enjoying the trailers.

• 1:42:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you love them.

• 1:42:54Speaker 01

  I love trailers.

• 1:42:54Dax Shepard?

  All trailers?

• 1:42:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:42:56Speaker 01

  But I was enjoying a bunch of these. And then I was like, I kept getting like jolted out because of these dum-dums. And I was like, it's a very much like, how dare you think your time or your enjoyment is more important than mine?

• 1:43:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you prioritize your experience over everyone else's.

• 1:43:15Speaker 01

  And that's so shitty.

• 1:43:16Dax Shepard?

  Selfish.

• 1:43:17Speaker 01

  Then it's so selfish. Yes, selfish is really, that hurts, that annoys me. And also, but then I had to think because I do like to be thoughtful and self-aware. And I was like, is it possible I do this, but I'm not, I don't know it because I don't see movies by myself very much. Like, I'm obviously so hyper-aware because I'm by myself.

• 1:43:41Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:43:43Speaker 01

  And so I really had to think like, maybe do I do this?

• 1:43:45Dax Shepard?

  You and Jess might have been laughing during the trailers.

• 1:43:48Speaker 01

  That's what I was wondering. But I feel actually pretty certain that I don't speak at full volume. Maybe I would laugh harder with other people there.

• 1:43:59Dax Shepard?

  You would love living in Japan.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:44:02Dax Shepard?

  Because that's where the absolute social contract is thoughtfulness to the people around you above yourself.

• 1:44:12Speaker 01

  It doesn't have to be above yourself. That's like, to me, that's a misconception. It's like in order, in order to.

• 1:44:22Speaker 01

  Like I have to sac- it's not a sacrifice to just whisper.

• 1:44:25Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:44:26Speaker 01

  You know, like they could have talked. I'm not saying they had to be like silent and in a little bubble.

• 1:44:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:32Speaker 01

  But they, they needed to have some awareness that, I mean, am I wrong? I don't think I'm wrong.

• 1:44:39Dax Shepard?

  Wrong? Yeah, Chris, I always say this. We go, am I right or am I, am I wrong?

• 1:44:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:45Dax Shepard?

  Am I right or right? Am I wrong?

• 1:44:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I don't know. I just, that was tricky for me.

• 1:44:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:52Speaker 01

  Then as soon as the movie was over, one of the person, one of the people ran out so fast, I think she had to tonka. And I was like, that is karma.

• 1:45:04Dax Shepard?

  That was karma.

• 1:45:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. But if I had the ability, like my superpower was to make people have diarrhea.

• 1:45:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, and you could look at them, like in Wednesday, um, the kid with the snake hair, it turned you to stone.

• 1:45:20Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:45:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. If you could like, you were, you had to cover your hair, but when you took your headband off and they saw your hair, it would just squirt out.

• 1:45:27Speaker 01

  Diarrhea, yeah. But the painful kind.

• 1:45:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Ammonia.

• 1:45:34Speaker 01

  Uh, anyway.

• 1:45:36Dax Shepard?

  I have no opinion whether it's right or wrong.

• 1:45:38Speaker 01

  Okay. I just think you, you would, I just feel like you just said you agree because I'm in and out.

• 1:45:44Dax Shepard?

  I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:46Speaker 01

  But.

• 1:45:46Dax Shepard?

  So yeah, driving nuts, the guy was coughing and shooting food all over the table while his TV was, I don't know, that, that drove me nuts for sure. I know for me, the goal is, oh, who suffered? I did. Not the guy.

• 1:46:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:05Dax Shepard?

  I suffered because I was uncomfortable and agitated.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:46:09Dax Shepard?

  And so I do know my goal in life is to not let that kind of stuff affect me. That's my ultimate goal because I'll be, I'm the only one that pays the price. The guy doesn't care. He doesn't know that I was agitated and distracted by all this coughing. So all I've done is I've made myself suffer. We just had an expert that semi, had a similar, oh, let them.

• 1:46:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:46:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm like, why is this ringing a bell? But I do know the path to me having the nicest time on earth is to not be affected by that. I mean, that's just a truth I know for myself.

• 1:46:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:46:44Dax Shepard?

  So I aspire to accept the world as it is. Unless someone's getting hurt, I do, I do want to get involved if someone's getting hurt. But I do think the happiest version of my life is one where I'm not annoyed and agitated by other people.

• 1:46:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:47:00Dax Shepard?

  For me.

• 1:47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:47:03Dax Shepard?

  That doesn't sit well with you, does it? Something about that feels thorny.

• 1:47:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does. But I, I mean, I agree.

• 1:47:11Dax Shepard?

  You feel like it's a surrender that you're accepting bad behavior?

• 1:47:14Speaker 01

  No, it's not like I sat through the whole movie and I was like.

• 1:47:17Dax Shepard?

  But even while it's happening.

• 1:47:19Speaker 01

  I know, but like, I guess to me that's, I'm not choosing it.

• 1:47:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no, I, I think it happens quite organically.

• 1:47:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:26Dax Shepard?

  Agitation.

• 1:47:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, agitation happens organically and then you can try your best to let it go. And then when they start screaming again, it's coming back like.

• 1:47:36Dax Shepard?

  Is anyone screaming fire?

• 1:47:38Speaker 01

  Nah, I don't know.

• 1:47:39Dax Shepard?

  Cause they say that's illegal.

• 1:47:40Speaker 01

  They say it in a theater.

• 1:47:44Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm, I'm mixed on this because I agree that you should not let other people's, you know, you should. Being annoyed is not a good feeling. If you can let it go, great. But I also understand if someone's doing something like.

• 1:47:58Dax Shepard?

  Obnoxious.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  Obnoxious. You're not an island of, you are amongst others. So like.

• 1:48:05Dax Shepard?

  You are, and you're right, and you'd win in court. The point is, if you gotta work backwards from reality, can I control that? Do I have any say over it? If I can control it and change it, if I have that power, then I should care and I should do something. But if I assess that I can't do anything about it, then I know my quickest route to relief is to just accept this is how life is in this movie theater.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  No, but I guess that maybe that's part of the agitation is like, should I say something? In, in fact, there is the option to change it. It's, excuse me, guys, do you mind keeping it down?

• 1:48:46Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:48:47Speaker 01

  I could have, I think.

• 1:48:48Dax Shepard?

  You could have, but it sounded like there were a lot of people, right? You couldn't have gone through the whole theater one by one.

• 1:48:52Speaker 01

  It was mainly these two people.

• 1:48:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it was?

• 1:48:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, but then I think they were having a contagion effect because then some other people were kind of doing.

• 1:49:00Dax Shepard?

  Were they treating you in any other way? Were they like, boys that seemed rowdy?

• 1:49:04Speaker 01

  It was a man and a woman.

• 1:49:05Dax Shepard?

  It was a man and a woman.

• 1:49:07Speaker 01

  I would guess around my age, like.

• 1:49:10Dax Shepard?

  I want to be clear, I'm not saying anything wrong. Do you hear that?

• 1:49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:14Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and I'm not judging you one iota.

• 1:49:17Speaker 01

  I know, but do you think I should have maybe said something? I do think potentially that is the cause of what's like, ah, because, yeah, it's one thing if you're in a position where you really cannot control anything, then you're like, okay.

• 1:49:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now here's another thought.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:49:33Dax Shepard?

  This is basically what you're always telling me to do, which is almost impossible for me to do.

• 1:49:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:49:37Dax Shepard?

  You said it was Tuesday in the middle of the afternoon?

• 1:49:40Speaker 01

  No, Sunday.

• 1:49:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, how packed was the theater?

• 1:49:43Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 1:49:44Dax Shepard?

  So you could have got up and moved away from them?

• 1:49:46Speaker 01

  No, no, I was not close to them.

• 1:49:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, how far away were they?

• 1:49:49Speaker 01

  They, also, the theater was small. I don't think that movie's doing well. Um, so there, there literally would have been nowhere in the theater to go without being, that's what I'm saying about how loud it was. This is not like I was sitting next to them and they were just being loud. They were being obnoxious and I did think, should I leave the movies? Like, that really crossed my mind, like, how much am I gonna take of this before I decide, like, I gotta go? I, I can't handle this. But then that made me so sad. It's like, I made this whole plan to see this movie by my little self because all my friends are out of town.

• 1:50:31Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:50:32Speaker 01

  And no one wants to hang out with me. And I guess I have to hang out with me and I have to be my own best friend. And so I'm gonna take myself to the movies.

• 1:50:39Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna be my own best friend.

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  And I'm gonna take myself to the movies.

• 1:50:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you want to spoil myself?

• 1:50:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did. I got a hot chocolate. Oh, no. Do you think this could be my own karma now that we're talking this through? Because I got a hot chocolate.

• 1:50:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:55Speaker 01

  At the Starbucks, ding ding ding, at, um, I almost said Baskin Robbins, Barnes and Noble.

• 1:51:02Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:51:03Dax Shepard?

  Nothing.

• 1:51:04Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:51:05Dax Shepard?

  Nothing.

• 1:51:06Speaker 01

  I love that. I love Barnes and Noble and I love that hot chocolate.

• 1:51:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:11Speaker 01

  Get a little bit of whipped cream.

• 1:51:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:51:13Speaker 01

  It's so rare. I used to get that all the time.

• 1:51:16Dax Shepard?

  The whipped cream in your hot chocolate?

• 1:51:17Speaker 01

  No, the hot choc- that hot chocolate. I used to get it all the time and then, you know, I've grown up and I don't get it anymore.

• 1:51:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:23Speaker 01

  But I thought, I'm gonna indulge. I'm taking myself on a date.

• 1:51:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:27Speaker 01

  And so I got it, but the thing is, you're not allowed to bring in outside drinks. I've learned this the hard way at the Americana.

• 1:51:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:33Speaker 01

  So I put it in my purse. I smuggled it in.

• 1:51:36Dax Shepard?

  So great. This is, this is great. So, so your thing was like loud things, hearing all that chatter and you couldn't, someone else would be bent, still bent out of shape that you brought something in when it clearly said not to bring any food. And now I bring outside food all the time. I smuggle it in.

• 1:51:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:54Dax Shepard?

  I want caffeine free Diet Coke. They don't sell caffeine free. Put it in my pockets.

• 1:51:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:51:58Dax Shepard?

  For some other person, their big thing is, well, I'd like to bring too. Maybe I want to bring a full ham sandwich in here.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  But, okay.

• 1:52:05Dax Shepard?

  But I follow the rules in this, right? So we just have to acknowledge that like, we're also doing things that somehow would make people mad, cause...

• 1:52:15Speaker 01

  Okay, I want to push back on that.

• 1:52:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:52:17Speaker 01

  My bringing in the hot chocolate only affects me.

• 1:52:21Dax Shepard?

  I'm glad you did, by the way. Well, no, because they smell it. They'd be like, I don't want to smell hot chocolate. That's why they have a rule.

• 1:52:27Speaker 01

  Okay, first of all.

• 1:52:28Dax Shepard?

  No, but don't you think, easily you can imagine someone who's like, you're not supposed to bring outside food.

• 1:52:33Speaker 01

  Yes, I imagine that person. But I'm, I'm saying to me, there is a hard and fast rule indifference in that one is impeding on other people's experience.

• 1:52:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:44Speaker 01

  And again, if these two people want to talk through the entire movie and I can't hear it, I don't care about that. I don't care that they're talking. I care that I can't engage in my experience because of them.

• 1:52:58Dax Shepard?

  Okay, do you?

• 1:52:59Speaker 01

  And the hot chocolate just smells great.

• 1:53:01Dax Shepard?

  I figured out a way though. Do you want to hear how?

• 1:53:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:53:05Dax Shepard?

  You can spill it.

• 1:53:06Speaker 01

  I spilt it in my purse.

• 1:53:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:53:08Speaker 01

  So again, it only, it only affected me.

• 1:53:11Dax Shepard?

  Right, but um, you could spill their hot chocolate, which you weren't supposed to bring in.

• 1:53:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:53:15Dax Shepard?

  And then the next showing, someone could sit in the seat you're in, they'd be like, oh, the floor's fucking sticky. Probably because someone fucking brought a big sugary drink in here and it says you're not supposed to bring a sugary drink in here.

• 1:53:27Speaker 01

  Okay, you're, you're really grasping at straws.

• 1:53:29Dax Shepard?

  I don't think I have to say.

• 1:53:30Speaker 01

  Because they sell slushies there. It's not about, it's not because you can't eat or drink in the theater. It's because they want you to buy the stuff in the theater.

• 1:53:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, I know.

• 1:53:39Speaker 01

  So there could still be a spill regardless. And here's the other thing about me, Monica.

• 1:53:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:46Speaker 01

  If I spilled hot chocolate everywhere, I would clean it up.

• 1:53:49Dax Shepard?

  You brought a mop with you?

• 1:53:51Speaker 01

  No, I would go get the, the paper towels.

• 1:53:54Dax Shepard?

  That's not gonna cut it. You need water and a mop because of the sugar.

• 1:53:59Dax Shepard?

  I mean, same as someone spills a Coca-Cola that they bought. I concede to that.

• 1:54:03Speaker 01

  Oh my God. You're always trying to fight me.

• 1:54:08Dax Shepard?

  No, no.

• 1:54:09Speaker 01

  No, I'm kidding. I know. I know you're not, but I.

• 1:54:11Dax Shepard?

  I'm trying to do what the guests we had on, which is like, let them let me. I'm, I'm attempting to apply that strategy to this problem you had.

• 1:54:20Speaker 01

  What I went to when they were behaving in this manner is, do I say something? And then I didn't. Then I was probably like, I was probably like, why am I not saying anything if this is bad, you know? So that's my own thing. Maybe, but, but then that, but then there's this like, who am I to tell them? But I think I am just a human on earth who could be like, can you please keep it down?

• 1:54:44Dax Shepard?

  What if they go, sorry, we're utilitarian. You're one person. We're two people.

• 1:54:49Speaker 01

  I'd be like,

• 1:54:53Speaker 01

  like, have you been, have you been listening to my podcast?

• 1:54:57Dax Shepard?

  I would, you go, I didn't expect you to be so smart.

• 1:55:00Speaker 01

  Ew, definitely not. You know, if I, if I had an interaction with them that was bad, if I, if I did approach them, I would leave.

• 1:55:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Well, I was gonna say, so this happened to me. You may have remembered this story with Bree and her friend and some dude I never met. And the guy in front of me, a gang banger, took a phone call.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:19Dax Shepard?

  He's on this phone call so loud and I just was trying, trying, trying. And finally I said, hey, can I say hi?

• 1:55:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:55:25Dax Shepard?

  And he goes, what? And I go, what? And I'm part of this fucking conversation. So can I have the phone and say hi?

• 1:55:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:31Dax Shepard?

  You want to go say, so now I go outside, as you recall, I don't realize he's there with five other guys. I don't know why they're all spread out in the theater.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:39Dax Shepard?

  The AMC City Walk. And I walk out into the lobby. And yeah, now there's, now I'm out there with six dudes and I'm gonna get killed. And there's a security guard making $1 an hour, who's also 21 years old and 100 pounds. He's got a walkie talkie. That's my only hope. Thank God they start talking to him. I go back in the theater and yeah, my, then I sit down. I'm like, okay, here are my options. I gotta go in the lobby and I gotta call Scotty and you know, I gotta, I gotta get together five friends to come up to this movie theater.

• 1:56:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:05Dax Shepard?

  So that it's a fair fight when I leave, or we gotta leave mid movie, which is what we did.

• 1:56:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:11Dax Shepard?

  So like in that case, I learned a real hard lesson.

• 1:56:13Speaker 01

  I know, but again, I'm gonna have to push back.

• 1:56:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:56:18Speaker 01

  What you did is so different than, than what I.

• 1:56:24Dax Shepard?

  That you might have.

• 1:56:25Speaker 01

  I might have even done, which is politely say, hey, excuse me, I'm really sorry, but do you guys mind keeping it down? That's how it would have gone.

• 1:56:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:56:34Speaker 01

  And that is not this, that's not provoking.

• 1:56:37Dax Shepard?

  My hunch is though, if you had done that and they complied, when you walked back to your seat, I think you would have regretted it. I think you would have sat down and been like, I didn't need to do that.

• 1:56:48Speaker 01

  I know. That's why I didn't do it.

• 1:56:51Dax Shepard?

  I think you made the right call. Cause I don't think when we do that, I don't think ultimately, what we do is we sit down and we go, we shouldn't let that go. So you should be happy. You did the right thing.

• 1:57:04Speaker 01

  But did I? Cause like.

• 1:57:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:06Speaker 01

  There was an old person nearby me.

• 1:57:09Dax Shepard?

  He couldn't hear you or the movie or the trailer.

• 1:57:12Speaker 01

  No, they were also there by themselves. They also took themselves on a date, but no, but also circling back. What happens to me is I start thinking, why is this happening? So that's why I said, I think maybe streaming is the cause of this. Like have we as a society moved away from knowing how to be in the movie theater?

• 1:57:29Dax Shepard?

  I'm 50. People have been talking in trailers, the whole, my whole ride.

• 1:57:32Speaker 01

  It was agreed.

• 1:57:33Dax Shepard?

  And anywhere I lived in Detroit, you were allowed to talk the entire film.

• 1:57:36Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, I, I've been to the theaters a lot too, and I'm 38. I'm not young. I, I just thought the way this was happening and maybe the age demographic of these people. I was thinking like, something feels like.

• 1:57:55Speaker 01

  Wrong, because they don't even, they don't, they're not thinking anything about this.

• 1:58:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:02Speaker 01

  Like, they think it's totally fine, and they do think they think they're in, they're in their own bubble. And it's like, you remember you came to the movie theater and there's other people here. But I think they thought they were on their couch.

• 1:58:13Dax Shepard?

  I've also been a bad person at the movies. I'm just remembering.

• 1:58:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:58:17Dax Shepard?

  Because Nate and I used to go to the movies all the time. And if a movie was a real stinker, like a really bad movie, we had a kind of routine. This is how you'd signal, is you would try to sit back in your seat and get out of your whole shirt.

• 1:58:31Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:58:32Dax Shepard?

  Without them noticing, and then lean forward like you're gonna watch the movie a little closer. And then Nate realizes, oh, he says his shirt off. Either one of us would do this.

• 1:58:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:45Dax Shepard?

  And it was so fun.

• 1:58:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:47Dax Shepard?

  And then it became like, you'd walk like you were gonna go get popcorn with your shirt up. You know, so I did, I've done a lot of bad stuff.

• 1:58:54Speaker 01

  So I was about to say, actually, that would be fine, because that's not affecting other people. But then the walking is not okay. That's distracting.

• 1:59:04Dax Shepard?

  The, it is, it was distracting, because it would make me laugh extremely hard if I was watching a film. And I just out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nate lean forward, and I noticed he didn't have a shirt on in the movie. I would laugh pretty hard, and it might not be a funny scene in the movie.

• 1:59:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I don't like that.

• 1:59:20Dax Shepard?

  So my apologies to anyone that was next to Nate and I. Okay, let's use a fact.

• 1:59:25Speaker 01

  Okay. So, we talked about Wicca for a second, and you said Alphaba? No, you asked what the woman's, woman. The name, the character. I mean, she is a woman.

• 1:59:41Dax Shepard?

  The witch.

• 1:59:42Speaker 01

  Right. Is she, are we allowed to say she's a woman?

• 1:59:46Dax Shepard?

  She's a witchy woman. Witchy woman.

• 1:59:49Speaker 01

  Interesting. Anyway, um, and you asked her name, and I said Alphaba.

• 1:59:54Dax Shepard?

  Really quick.

• 1:59:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:56Dax Shepard?

  Which woman is redundant?

• 1:59:58Speaker 01

  Hey!

• 1:59:59Dax Shepard?

  It is.

• 2:00:00Speaker 01

  Why?

• 2:00:00Dax Shepard?

  We don't ever refer to men as, yeah, you'd be a wizard. So we don't need to say witch woman. Someone in Wicca is gonna be mad. There's probably a male Wicca witch, but I'm talking, that's a woman. So it's just redundant to say witch woman. It actually sounds like you're saying wit, W H I C H, which win of, which one of these women?

• 2:00:21Speaker 01

  No, wit.

• 2:00:24Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 2:00:26Dax Shepard?

  I think when you say which, it's implicit.

• 2:00:28Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know if I like that and I gotta think about it.

• 2:00:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:31Speaker 01

  Okay. Um, Elphaba is not her name. I said Elphaba. It's Elphaba.

• 2:00:39Dax Shepard?

  L E L?

• 2:00:40Speaker 01

  E L. And I said A L. That was embarrassing.

• 2:00:44Dax Shepard?

  I thought it was Elphaba too.

• 2:00:45Speaker 01

  Elphaba. The new movie is coming out soon, very soon.

• 2:00:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Tik Tok.

• 2:00:50Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:00:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:00:54Dax Shepard?

  I'd like to have Ariana Grande on.

• 2:00:56Speaker 01

  I would too, because we had Elphaba slash Cynthia Erivo on last time.

• 2:01:01Dax Shepard?

  And I'm going to Halloween as for Ariana Grande.

• 2:01:04Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 2:01:05Dax Shepard?

  So I just feel like all the, I'm making as much of a commitment as I can to woo her.

• 2:01:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be great. Okay, now Australia's relationship to religion, she was like, is different from here. So then I looked it up. Most religious countries. Saudi Arabia, number one.

• 2:01:23Dax Shepard?

  Sure, just as we'd expect.

• 2:01:25Speaker 01

  Number two, Israel.

• 2:01:27Dax Shepard?

  Hmm, mhm.

• 2:01:28Speaker 01

  Three, Iran.

• 2:01:31Dax Shepard?

  Mhm.

• 2:01:32Speaker 01

  Four, India.

• 2:01:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 2:01:35Speaker 01

  Five, United Arab Emirates.

• 2:01:38Dax Shepard?

  UAE.

• 2:01:39Speaker 01

  Six, Egypt. Seven, Qatar.

• 2:01:43Dax Shepard?

  Qatar.

• 2:01:44Speaker 01

  I know. I don't know what to.

• 2:01:46Dax Shepard?

  You didn't say either.

• 2:01:47Speaker 01

  Eight, Jordan. Nine, Turkey. Ten, Oman. Eleven. How many can I do? Okay, I'm gonna scroll down.

• 2:01:58Dax Shepard?

  You just basically say the Middle East plus India in this case.

• 2:02:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, and Israel.

• 2:02:03Dax Shepard?

  That's Middle East.

• 2:02:03Speaker 01

  Israel, number two. Oh, can I count that as separate? Thailand's on here, is number 23. Mexico's 25, that makes sense.

• 2:02:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, where's the US?

• 2:02:12Speaker 01

  I know, I'm looking.

• 2:02:14Dax Shepard?

  I would have thought we'd be way up higher.

• 2:02:16Speaker 01

  I haven't got there yet.

• 2:02:18Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 2:02:18Speaker 01

  I'm at 50.

• 2:02:20Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 2:02:20Speaker 01

  I mean, we have a lot of. Agnostic and

• 2:02:26Dax Shepard?

  But when you look up what percentage of Americans believe in, in basically Jesus? Or some Judeo-Christian, it's super high, like in the eighties percent, I think.

• 2:02:38Speaker 01

  Ah, I don't know. Um, it's 69. Right number.

• 2:02:42Dax Shepard?

  Number 69, perverse.

• 2:02:44Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 2:02:45Dax Shepard?

  Do you mind if I ask?

• 2:02:46Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:02:47Dax Shepard?

  Um, what percentage of Americans believe in God? What percentage of Americans believe in God? Eighty-three percent of US adults believe in God.

• 2:02:57Speaker 01

  Jesus or God?

• 2:02:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, we gotta say God because we have Jews and Islam. We have Muslims, we have Christians.

• 2:03:05Speaker 01

  Well, that's

• 2:03:06Dax Shepard?

  But if I, let's see how you're, let's ask, um, France.

• 2:03:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:03:13Dax Shepard?

  What percentage of people in France believe in God? Forty-four percent.

• 2:03:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:03:20Dax Shepard?

  So forty-four versus eighty-one was like twice as many people here.

• 2:03:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's true, but I guess just on the scale, there's a lot more.

• 2:03:31Dax Shepard?

  Must be in the nineties in all those places.

• 2:03:33Speaker 01

  Exactly, yeah. Okay, what did Poller say recently about comedy? She said every single year at the Oscars, everybody gets blanked. Said the 50-year-old.

• 2:03:44Dax Shepard?

  It must be fucked.

• 2:03:45Speaker 01

  I guess. Oh, I don't know if that's a word people use.

• 2:03:48Dax Shepard?

  Uh, I can't imagine Poller saying blanked. She'd say fucked.

• 2:03:53Speaker 01

  Well, it says it's some hot bullshit.

• 2:03:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, interesting.

• 2:03:58Speaker 01

  Because comedy is not easy. That's what she said.

• 2:04:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. That's true.

• 2:04:03Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 2:04:03Dax Shepard?

  She's right.

• 2:04:04Speaker 01

  Yep. Warren Buffett did pledge the majority of his fortune to be donated to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, along with four other family foundations. He made a public pledge in 2006 to give away the bulk of his wealth and has been making large annual donations.

• 2:04:21Dax Shepard?

  Good boy.

• 2:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. It says, "He has stated that the Gates Foundation will not receive any money after his death. The remainder of his estate will be distributed to his family's foundations."

• 2:04:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:04:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:04:33Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 2:04:34Speaker 01

  Okay, the box, you said the what's in the box in Pulp Fiction? When you said what's in the box, I was like,

• 2:04:39Dax Shepard?

  You thought of seven?

• 2:04:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, cause it's a briefcase.

• 2:04:42Dax Shepard?

  Case, yeah, yeah.

• 2:04:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I don't know what's in it.

• 2:04:46Dax Shepard?

  No one does.

• 2:04:47Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:04:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, someone said that one of the rumors is the Ten Commandments.

• 2:04:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:52Dax Shepard?

  That was some, one of them is Marcel's, Marcellus Wallace's soul.

• 2:04:56Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:04:57Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 2:04:58Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:04:58Dax Shepard?

  Glowing.

• 2:04:59Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna say Marcel, uh, the seashell.

• 2:05:02Dax Shepard?

  Seashell, no.

• 2:05:06Dax Shepard?

  Marcel the shell.

• 2:05:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, all right, well, that's it for Rose.

• 2:05:11Dax Shepard?

  That was all for facts, light on facts.

• 2:05:14Speaker 01

  Pretty light on facts.

• 2:05:15Dax Shepard?

  That's okay. We like it sometimes when it's light on facts.

• 2:05:19Speaker 01

  You get what you get and you don't get upset.

• 2:05:21Dax Shepard?

  That's right. That's the same. All right. Love you.

• 2:05:39Dax Shepard?

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